#until the Scions eventually picked him up~

[hazelkjt]

“The Family She Needs”

Hazel watched the two from afar, sitting off on the side porch of Xbalyav Ty'e. Upon Perseverance's insistence, Zero was teaching her how to read Eorzean. Hazel almost stepped in to teach in the Zero’s stead, as the Voidsent had only recently become proficient in reading the language herself. Zero on the other hand declined the Au Ra's offer, and in the end Hazel understood why. It was a chance for the Voidsent to both prove her mastery of the written language and to bond with Percy without Hazel acting as a mediary.

With her back to a pillar inside the establishment, Hazel could only make out a few words here and there from Zero and Percy as their voices blended into the sea of customers at the restaurant. Nevertheless, those few words Hazel could pick up from the young girl and the light they carried were enough to have a soft warmth bubble up in her chest. She thought nothing could possibly ruin this moment for her. Until he showed up, with a hand on her shoulder.

"First it was Zero, and now Perseverance, you have quite the knack for adopting strays into your family, don't you?" The rhetorical question left Thancred's mouth like an annoying poke at her horn. Hazel closed her eyes and tried to imagine the Scion away, repeating in her mind to not let him get to her.

"Ha ha." She lets out of her gritted teeth, taking note of the coy smirk the Hyur was sporting. Thancred always knew how best to get under her skin, usually leaving it at just light ribbing thankfully.

“So, how has being a mother been treating you?” He asks, leaning against another side of the pillar Hazel was against. The Au Ra turned her head to glare at the man. “Guardian, not mother.” She corrects, giving a flash of her fangs to try and dissuade Thancred from pressing the subject further. Unfortunately for her, the show of intimidation did not land with him the way she hoped. As the glint in his eyes changed to match his mischievous grin, Hazel braced herself for his incoming comment.

“Oh? Does being called a mother make you feel old? I cannot imagine what that would feel like.” His every word was dripping with sarcasm, calling back to Hazel’s teasing of him being a father to Ryne back in the First. He begrudgingly ignored her prodding in the beginning before eventually accepting the title in full. This is different though, she thinks to herself. This is entirely different…isn’t it?

The end of Hazel’s tail flicks in annoyance. “I don’t care about that, it’s just…” her words fall silent for a moment as she glances over at Zero and Perseverance again. The young girl was practically glued to the Voidsent’s arm, eyes wide as she took in all the words on the book’s pages. Hazel couldn’t help but also notice the ever so small curling of Zero’s lips into a smile as she continued to explain the words to Percy.

“It’s just,” the Au Ra continues. “Percy might not remember her mother anymore, but she still holds on to the idea of her. She still has her mother in her heart and loves her.” Pulling her eyes away from the two and toward Thancred, Hazel turns to face him directly. “Do you really expect me to go ‘Hey! I’m your mom now, it’s time to move on?’ Of course not!” She towers over the man, but Thancred doesn’t seem to budge an ilm.

Hazel raising her voice earned a few quizzical glances from the patrons around, but they just as quickly returned to their meals. "You're right, no one expects that of you." His calm yet firm tone snaps the Auri woman out of her slight haze of anger to find quite the serious expression staring her down. She takes a deep breath and lets go of Thancred's shirt...wait, when did she grab him? She clicks her tongue and mentally chastises herself for losing her cool, acting on impulse.

Thancred doesn't seem to let what she did phase him and continues with his point. "What does she want?" The Hyur looks past Hazel and towards the child sitting next to Zero. The Voidsent was helping her sound out a rather large word from the text currently. Hazel couldn't help but glance back and forth from Thancred and Percy, confused as to his point. "What kind of family does Perseverance want? Have you ever asked her that?"

The question sank into Hazel's heart like a dagger. With wistful eyes she looks towards the girl without saying a word. Thancred continues. "She has lost her family, and worse lost the memory of what a family is. But now she has you, but who are you to her? You said yourself before you are not looking to replace her old family but be a new one for her, right?" Hazel's tail droops, the tip grazing the wood floor of the building. She silently nods, not even able to make eye contact with Thancred. Thankfully he gets the message.

"She can still hold on to her love of who came before while embracing the love of those around her. The concepts aren't mutually exclusive you know." The comment hangs in the air for a moment before Hazel lets out a frustrated sigh in response. "I can't believe you of all people are-"

Her train of thought is interrupted by Thancred placing another hand on her shoulder. Unlike last time however, the Auri woman could feel a gentle reassurance come across his firm yet gentle grip. "It is because I am 'me of all people' that I can tell you this." Thancred's eyes darken for just a moment, averting his gaze ever so slightly as well. "Don't make the same mistakes I did. If you truly do love and care for Perseverance then give her the family she needs, whatever form that may take."

She didn't know how to respond, but from the sincere smile on Thancred's face it seemed she didn't have to. Hazel leans back against the pillar facing Zero and Percy as she brings a hand overtop the one on her shoulder. And so in silence Hazel stared out towards Zero, her partner, the love of her life. Slowly but surely her stare makes it's way to the side towards a brightly smiling Percy. Hazel could feel the same warmth building up in her heart when seeing such a sight. She could only hope that Percy felt the same warmth as well.

[nshi-ao3]

I know it's a sentiment I've shared before but I have to reiterate that I love your fic!

It's single-handedly forced me to look into Persona 5's story, heh. At first I figured I'd just pick up on context clues and the spoilery stuff I generally knew about the game from the internet, but that isn't enough. Especially since I have a feeling that the stuff that happened there with the Phantom Thieves and the Metaverse will eventually catch up to Joker's no good, really awful time in Eorzea. Though it's not all horrible, since Ren's got a second family now.

I wonder if Joker will open up Alphinaud or Alisiae to talk more about his past life on Earth. Though he doesn't sound like the type to talk about physics unless Y'shtola presses him on it, I imagine he'd enjoy talking about how the world he's from works. Cid would definitely enjoy talking about the technology, Alisaie the injustice and the attempts to make the world a better place, Alphinaud the politics (maybe more contemporary stuff), and G'raha the history (or really, all of the above). I get that all that slice of life stuff will likely take a back seat until Ren's Heavensward trauma express stops and allows him respite. And his reunion with G'raha's will be a while yet.

Another silly thought just came to mind, btw. Imagine if he comes back to Tokyo with the Scions but with time having accelerated relative to the Source/Etheirys. Left in 2016 or 2017, came back in 2025 (oh no).

"What's a Jonkler?" -- Joker, 2025

In all seriousness, I doubt he'd want to get himself and the Scions entangled in Earth's myriad problems and injustices. He will, though, because that's what the Scions do. A whole hypothetical expansion, also involving Ascians and time travelers (of course). No aetherytes, though, so they'll just have to book flights and fabricate passports lol

Anyway, with my rambling done with I hope your week goes well! :)

Thank you very much!! <3

I imagine the fic's a tougher read without Persona 5 knowledge since it's from the perspective of the MC from that game and set after it + a spin off and all... At least you seem to have caught up alright, given the rest of the ask! :P

Joker has talked a little about home at this point! He went over quite a lot of stuff with G'raha (those boys were yappin'!) and spoke with Cid about the basics of Earth technology. And then went a little mad trying to figure out how Allagan Tomestones work haha! He's... reticent to bring anything up right now given the circumstances, but he'll have more opportunities later. :> In fact, at one point in the future Alphinaud will make a very nice gift for him. But at the moment the HW main story's being a big downer. :< Sorry Joker!

Imagining Joker, in some scenario where he has the tote the Scions around Japan: ...Okay, I think we're going to need a second camper...

Someday I will sit down and write up a bunch of scenarios for the Scions individually reacting to Earth stuff... Estinien would be in hell in Shibuya lol

(Joker missing multiple years of memes on Earth?! How awful!! Say it isn't so!)

[y0d00p]

dametameta dynamic in 21 + 3 different aus teeny and I have developed. why?? idk it was just fun. also I'm insane

Pokemon: childhood friends that had a major falling out as teens as a result of an incident that caused the loss of DMK's eye. MK went on to become the Indigo Plateau champion while DMK got wrapped up in Team Rocket grunt work. DMK fell on hard times when his faction of Rocket was dissolved and left him unemployed. in a desperate and poorly thought out attempt at making money from ransom I guess, DMK kidnaps the Indigo champion, not knowing his true identity until he has him tied up in his apartment. This is their reunion after like 15 years apart

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The same except MK is magicked away to PMD world before the kidnapping, with DMK following sometime after. MK keeps his identity hidden from DMK out of desire to "start over" and mend their friendship, but it leads to trouble

SCP: MK is the leader of MTF Iota-8 ("Meta Knights") and DMK is a transdimensional shapeshifter employed by the Foundation as a member of MK's squad. MK is a human with anomalous super healing as a result of a scip incident and DMK "respawns" from his native mirror dimension whenever he suffers mortal harm, making them both prime candidates for dealing with especially dangerous scips. DMK is kind of a flirt but MK is like anomaly-racist and rather cold with him. He gets better though

LISA The Painful: MK is a stealth trans man living in isolation and DMK is a pathetic junkie that broke into his home looking for drugs. They become unlikely friends and eventually set out in search of an antidote after DMK takes Joy on a bad day

The Legend of Zelda: MK is Sheikah and DMK is a member of the Yiga clan. DMK joined the clan out of disillusionment with the Sheikah/humanity as a whole - he gets pushed around and picked on a lot and doesn't really get along with the other Yiga, but is scared to leave because of their reputation with deserters. MK, who DMK formed a friendly rivalry turned unlikely friendship with, aids in his escape from the clan after which they continue to travel together

Final Fantasy 14: MK, tenth son in a family of moon keepers, is a gladitorial champion turned Paladin that joins the Scions and other WoLs in A Realm Reborn. DMK is an ex-Nunh turned ex-criminal turned ex-rogue sun seeker with a comically depressing life that joins the crew in Heavensward after becoming a Dark Knight. They butt heads, a lot, but have an uncanny synergy despite it that makes them the designated party tanks for (almost) the entire story

Splatoon: Both Octolings that once served in the Octarian army, now living in Inkopolis. DMK, already kind of lazy and self serving, adapted to the fun-loving Inkling lifestyle pretty quickly, but MK, an ex-elite, has trouble moving on and adjusting. MK is an inkbrush/splatana wiper main and DMK is an octobrush/splatana stamper main

mostly D&D based with some creative liberties: Both tieflings cursed in different ways by the same god of violence and hedonism. MK, a paladin whose god was usurped by Mr. Murder, now forced to entertain his violent whims else he suffers painful Side Effects. DMK unknowingly picked up a bloodthirsty sword that turns him into a mindless killing machine if he doesn't cut enough people with it. They along with a few others also affected by Mr. Murder's meddling band together to get revenge

demon: MK is a demon hunting battle priest and DMK is a centuries old incubus that seduces him. DMK's demonic influence starts turning MK into one of his kind, but MK can't get rid of DMK because he's clingy due to a "recent" break up with his angel bf. over time MK accepts DMK's presence and they eventually develop a proper healthy relationship

monster: MK is a monster hunter and DMK is the bat-like beast that he's constantly trying to stop from eating everyone's sheep. When MK is mortally wounded in a battle with another monster, DMK reluctantly saves his life by sealing the wound with a sort of... sticky venom, that has the unfortunate side effect of turning MK into a monster himself

different flavour of monster: MK is a vampire hunter recently inflicted with lycanthropy and DMK is a vampire. when DMK is caught in MK's house (looking for a snack) the night of his first transformation, MK uncontrollably attacks him and literally rips him to pieces. out of guilt, MK allows DMK to feed on him the next day, starting off an uneasy but mutually beneficial arrangement

basic ass fantasy: MK is captain of the royal guard and DMK is a changeling fairy that wants his name for nefarious purposes. DMK pesters him constantly but MK is too smart for his fey bullshit, making him more of a minor nuisance than a real threat

dark fantasy soulsborne aesthetic kind of thing?: MK is a demon/monster hunter of sorts, trying to take down a particularly powerful evil priest, and DMK is another wandering hunter with another cursed sword that starts eating him alive if he doesn't give it enough blood. can you tell I like the evil sword thing for DMK? They first meet under... unfortunate circumstances, but despite their adverse relationship, they eventually team up to save someone from the aforementioned priest

cyberpunk: both orphaned as young children from different incidents of faction violence, MK grew up on the streets with a group of friends/found family and now does bounty hunting/mercenary work with them, while DMK was taken in by a faction leader and raised as his own to eventually inherit his underground empire. after a botched assassination attempt on DMK, DMK gets dear old dad to spare MK's life and have him indentured as a bodyguard instead because he thought it was really hot how he tried to kill him

fish: MK is a marine biologist that periodically runs into DMK, a bull shark merman, while doing field work. one day while out at sea, a storm flips his boat leaving him to drown in the rough waters if not for DMK's interference. DMK saves him by turning him into one of his own... oh i guess that's another thing we like huh

space: MK is of an endangered alien species, disguised as a human living on a large space station to observe, study, and live in safety. DMK is his assigned bunk mate and uh... he's just kind of a guy idk it's been a while since we touched this one

sweet home inspired not-zombie monster apocalypse kind of thing: they are apartment neighbours, DMK a single dad and MK often hosting his kid cousin. they don't get along because DMK plays loud music and stomps around in his fuckass boots, but their kids are friends so they put up with each other. they eventually find common ground and become friends themselves, even risking their lives for each other and their kids when the monster shit starts happening

urban fantasy devi magi: in a world with humans, magi (gifted humans with magic abilities), and devi (monstrous invaders that settled into the world long ago), they're on a team of hunters that take care of dangerous devi. DMK is the newest member and sole human on the team and MK is half devi. they had worked together previously, terminating in an incident where MK left DMK behind to pursue a target, resulting in the loss of DMK's eye, so there's a bit of a grudge present

western: MK is sheriff of a small desert town, previously leader of a gang of misguided bandits until changing their priorities to helping others, DMK is a monster hunting cowboy that left his simple farm life in search of thrills. DMK stops in town and embarrasses MK during an attack by a monster of the week, setting off a petty rivalry

evil murder god alien sex club: MK works at the titular club trying to raise money to take care of a deathly ill family member, and DMK is a lonely loser with a lot of inheritance money to blow that spends a lot of time at the bar and paying for MK's attention. after finding out MK's situation, DMK tries to help get him out, but the murder god in the basement running the place isn't interested in letting go any employees

farming sim! yay!: MK is the town blacksmith and DMK owns a ranch. they probably have some weird grudge with each other and sexual tension you know how it is. this au is like a week old gimme a break

isolated dynamics that don't really have a whole au to go with them:

1: DMK is a woodsman living in an isolated cabin off the grid, hiding from conviction for a murder he may or may not be responsible for, MK is grievously injured in the woods and taken in by DMK while he recovers. they develop an intimate relationship, but things start to get weird as MK starts to recover and hears about an escaped convict on the radio

2: MK is a city boy with an upper class family and DMK is a simple farm boy living with his aging mother. MK, bored with his life, would sneak out as a teen and get into tussles with DMK for kicks. after a long absence due to moving away, MK, as an adult, now sneaks out to go hunting. they reunite when DMK discovers him after he is poisoned and paralyzed, taking him home to help him recover

3: sort of kirby canon headcanon backstory swap. DMK is adopted by an upper class family and grows up pampered and educated and scrawny. MK grew up feral, never made any friends, retained his more animalistic traits and now lives in a shack in the woods. MK travels to the mirror world to beat up DMK just for existing and sheltered DMK finds the beatdown so shocking and impressive and weirdly hot that he becomes fixated on besting MK in battle to get his attention/approval

common themes:

some kind of rivalry, grudge, or opposition, turned attraction turned romance (duh) usually with ~History~

working together against a common enemy despite not really getting along

DMK evil sword

MK usually responsible for DMK's eye

MK usually some kind of authority or upper class man with a secret rebellious wild side or past

DMK usually lower class, often a farm boy, sometimes just a fucking loser

DMK being some kind of monster/anomaly and targeting MK

one being injured or down on their luck and being taken care of

MK attacks DMK and DMK thinks it's hot because he's a freak

[shina913]

Scions, Ch.9 | Kim Line + JHS

Scions (series)

sci·​on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition: (1) a descendant (2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Sister!Reader + Kim brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader; some POV shifts in scenes

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: ANGST!!!!!! Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; Family!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; siblings' best friend; smut; fluff

Chapter warnings: heavy drama; references to character death (not the members); grieving/mourning; infidelity; references to pregnancy loss; allusions to smut but nothing explicit

Word count: 9.9k

Summary: Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

A/N: I'm back (sort of)! I'm happy to have been able to revisit this story, this family, and this AU. There are many moving parts to this chapter--POV shifts over multiple scenes. To think this all happens in a span of 24hrs (in this AU) 😵‍💫

I want to say that this is the penultimate chapter, as this story is about to come to an end. Hopefully, it won’t take me another year to finish the finale 😬

Last year, my family experienced a loss. I channeled much of the emotions from that experience into this chapter. My hope is that you'll find it as cathartic to read as I found it to write.

If you’re still following along (after all this time), thank you for sticking around and I want you to know that I appreciate you🩵

“Would anybody care for some shots?” Taehyung asks nobody in particular after you all walk through the door.

Your mind lingers on what you witnessed before leaving the bar. Though drowning the memory with more drinks is tempting, you decide against it. “I’ve had enough for tonight, thanks,” you say. “If you guys are drinking more, can you please try to keep it down?” you ask your brothers as you head upstairs to check on your kids.

“Welp, since she’s out…” Taehyung looks at his brothers expectantly.

“Sure, pour me one,” Namjoon says.

Taehyung looks at Jin, who sighs and eventually acquiesces. “Okay, but only if we drink something better than that shit tequila from the cupboard!”

“Aww, but it’s tradition,” Taehyung whines. “And, if I remember correctly, it was you who introduced us to that shit tequila!”

“Not by choice!” Jin says wryly, glancing at Namjoon.

“Me? It’s not my fault I caught you sneaking around,” Namjoon retorts with a chuckle.

“Yeah, but then you got YN and him into it—ugh,” Jin groans. Realizing the argument is dampening the mood, he says, “Nevermind. The point is, I have something better!”

He walks up to one of the lower kitchen cabinets and retrieves an unlabeled bottle–no taller than seven inches–containing an amber-colored liquid.

Taehyung picks it up and holds it against the light, eyeing it curiously. “What is it?” he asks.

“A side project I’ve been working on,” Jin answers, his tone filled with quiet pride. “It’s a whiskey that I made using traditional methods. Namjoon gave me the idea for it a couple of years ago.”

A smile tugs at Namjoon’s lips as he recalls the night. Admittedly, it was more of a drunken suggestion than a moment of genius, but seeing Jin’s dedication to bringing it to life fills him with a sense of admiration.

Jin continues, “I finally figured out a great recipe.”

“Do you have a name for it?” Namjoon asks.

“For now, it’s ‘Number 20’—as in, it’s my 20th attempt,” Jin chuckles softly. As his laughter subsides, he turns wistful. “A few weeks ago, before he went to the hospital, Dad took a sip and…he suggested we sell it in small batches. He thought it had the potential to be something special.”

Namjoon and Taehyung go quiet, at the mention of your dad’s memory.

Jin clears his throat, in an attempt to keep the tone light. “Anyway, I can’t think of a better time to share it with my brothers.”

Taehyung carefully unscrews the cap of the bottle. He lifts the bottle to his nose and takes a sniff of its contents, his face immediately contorts in reaction. “Oof…the smell alone feels like it’s going to knock me out for the next couple of days,” he exclaims with a hearty laugh that echoes through the room. He then passes the bottle to Namjoon, whose expression quickly mirrors Taehyung’s grimace as the potent smell hits his nostrils.

Jin laughs at their reactions. “It’s a little concentrated, I know. Dad took a fat nap after we took shots.”

Smiling fondly, Taehyung looks at his older brothers. “What are we standing around for? Let’s grab some glasses!”

Namjoon retrieves three glencairn glasses from the cupboard and lines them up in front of his younger brother, who starts pouring.

“Okay-okay-okay, that’s more than enough!” Jin sputters, scolding Taehyung for his heavy-handedness. “Just go up to here.” He holds his finger up to the fullest part of the glass.

Taehyung snickers, takes the ‘overpoured’ glass for himself, and passes the other two to his older brothers. “The Kim brothers, together again,” he beams as he picks up his drink.

Namjoon smiles warmly at his younger brother’s sentimentality.

“Should we toast to anything?” Taehyung turns to Jin, who looks puzzled.

“What are you looking at me for? He’s the spokesperson of this family,” he points to Namjoon.

Namjoon rolls his eyes. “I think I’ve done enough speaking today, thanks.”

“Why don’t you say something, hyung? It doesn’t have to be deep,” Taehyung laughs.

“Why do we have to say anything at all? Can’t we just drink it?” Jin complains.

“I’m sure you have something in mind,” Namjoon coaxes. “Just say whatever feels right.”

Jin puffs his cheeks out and blows out a breath. He wasn’t poetic like Namjoon, nor was he tender-hearted like Taehyung.

He was ‘just Jin.’ The oldest brother, who took it upon himself to move back home after graduating college to help out in the family business; married his high school sweetheart and bought a house in the same neighborhood as his childhood home.

The one who constantly looked in on his retired parents while all of his siblings flew the nest to pursue opportunities away from home.

Shaking his thoughts away, he raises his glass, and his brothers mirror his gesture. “Alright, alright.” He clears his throat before continuing. “At the risk of sounding cheesy, I’d like to say that although this may not have been the best circumstance to bring us all together, I’m still glad that we’re all together. And I hope we can do this more often, even without dad or mom prompting us.”

Namjoon and Taehyung stare at Jin with goofy smiles on their faces.

He groans in mild annoyance. “See, I told you guys—”

“That was beautiful, hyung,” Taehyung remarks.

“I agree. Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Namjoon adds.

Jin’s ears turn red with a mix of embarrassment and pride as his brothers shower him with compliments. In his heart, he hopes that their beloved father, wherever he is, can see this moment.

“Cheers!”

His younger brothers clinked their glasses against his, then tilted them to their lips for a sip.

********

You’re in bed, tossing and turning. You feel tired, but sleep won’t come. You wish you had accepted Taehyung’s offer for a night cap. It might have helped subdue all the racing thoughts in your head and the emotions you’ve been feeling all day. From your dad’s memorial to the shock of Sam’s divorce filing.

That kiss…

You squeeze your eyes shut at the memory. Grabbing a pillow, hold it to your face, and muffle your frustrated groans into it. Then with a huff, you roll out of bed.

When you step out into the hallway, you pad your way to your parents’ bedroom first. You poke your head in to find your kids peacefully asleep with your mom. The sight of it is heartwarming, despite the chaos swirling in your head.

You head downstairs to the kitchen and make your way to a specific cupboard. There, hidden behind some condiments, you find the communal tequila bottle. This is the same bottle you and your brothers used to sneak sips from, always making sure to top it off to the marked level so your dad wouldn’t notice.

That was, until one fateful night when Taehyung not only left it out on the counter but also forgot to refill it. Your dad was furious, and Jin, being the noble brother he is, tried to take all the blame. Despite his efforts, the guilt got to all of you, leading to a group confession. In the end, instead of scolding you, your dad found it amusing. When Taehyung finally reached the legal drinking age, he decided to make it a family tradition, insisting on keeping the ritual of refilling the bottle.

You fondly stroke your thumb over the smudged marker on the bottle’s label, chuckling at the thought of this silly but beloved family inside joke.

You’re about to pour yourself a shot when something on the kitchen counter catches your eye—a bottle that is less than half-filled with some amber liquid. You unscrew the top and bring the bottle closer to your nose. It smells like whiskey, but a bit more fragrant than you’re used to. You decide to pour some into the cap and take a tentative sip. Convinced, you grab a glass from the cupboard and pour yourself a generous shot.

As you let the alcohol settle into your bloodstream, you glance out the kitchen window towards Hobi’s house, where the porch light is on. You blink and squint, trying to focus.

You pour yourself another hefty shot and toss it back, shuddering involuntarily from its potency.

Maybe it’s the alcohol, but it almost feels like the porch light is glowing more brightly than usual, like it’s calling you. Before you know it, your feet, seemingly moving on their own, carry you across the street.

********

Despite your stomach churning, you do your best not to ruin the nice patch of azaleas next to you. You know you shouldn’t be here, especially not in this state. Nevermind that you’d already embarrassed yourself earlier this evening when you picked a stupid fight with Hoseok at the bar. To make matters worse, you kissed him!

However, as messy as you were, that kiss made you realize how much you missed that kind of intimacy and connection with someone. Then again, it also feels wrong to think about it, because it’s completely self-serving. Truth be told, you weren’t in a position to be selfish.

You groan from the pounding in your head, likely caused by whatever mystery alcohol you just had. If you ever remember anything from this evening, you make a mental note to ask Taehyung what the hell that was.

I should head back, you tell yourself, trying to hang on to the last bit of reason you have. You grab onto the iron handrail and manage to stand up, even though your legs feel like jelly.

And yet, you make no effort to move. It’s as if a part of you knows you still have unfinished business to handle, and that’s what’s keeping you here.

Seconds later, headlights round the corner. The intense brightness temporarily blinds you, so you shield your face. The car pulls into the driveway, coming to a stop right where you stand. The engine and lights shut off, and the driver’s side door slams in the quiet night.

As you lower your hand, you’re faced with your unfinished business standing in front of you. The tension between you is palpable, with years of unspoken words and repressed feelings threatening to spill out of you.

“I’ve got some leftovers from the bar. Want some?” Hoseok offers.

The mere thought of food makes you nauseous. You shift uncomfortably, seeking some form of stability, but nothing helps. Your surroundings start to spin, and just when you think you’re about to fall over, he rushes to your side to hold you upright.

“Okay,” he says with a light chuckle. “Why don’t we go inside and have a good hurl first, hm?”

********

Sitting in this kitchen felt…strange. The space had changed so much since you last remembered it that it seemed like an entirely different house.

Namjoon had told you that after Hoseok’s mom retired and bought a smaller apartment across town, Hobi had transformed his childhood home into a bachelor pad of sorts.

The first floor’s layout felt more open now that the divider wall between the kitchen and living room had been knocked down. The plastic-covered plaid furniture was gone, replaced by more modern fixtures that complemented the interior’s neutral palette.

You wonder if the changes to this home mirrored the changes Hoseok himself had gone through the years.

“Want some more coffee?” He leaned on the kitchen counter, watching as you stared at the table. The family’s original dining table stood out as the only contrasting piece of furniture. It was the sole item he had kept from the ‘old house.’

This table was where you and your brothers had done homework while waiting for your dad to finish work, where they had hosted your family for countless dinners. It held memories of many conversations and laughs.

You glance at your mug and chuckle at his offer. “Thanks, but I’m good. I should get going soon.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to lie down for a bit?” He’s concerned, but doesn’t want to come across pushy.

That might help, but you worry that if you stayed any longer, you’d end up passing out for the rest of the night—and that probably wouldn’t be the smartest move for you, knowing your kids would be looking for you in the morning.

You shake your head, politely declining. “Thank you, though.”

“Alright. Just trying to be a good host, that’s all,” he says with a warm smile. “Guess this means your alcohol tolerance hasn’t changed. Still a lightweight, huh?” He jokes.

You roll your eyes. “Please,” you scoff, finishing your coffee. “I had a couple shots of unlabeled whiskey without knowing how strong it was. My body was just a bit shocked, that’s all,” you say defensively.

He gets up from his seat and moves towards you. You steel yourself as he leans in... to pick up your empty mug. “I’m only teasing. Sorry about that,” he smirks before walking away.

Smiling nervously, you massage your temple as he heads toward the sink.

Despite the seemingly lighthearted tone of this exchange, there’s still an undercurrent of tension. You can’t easily forget about this evening’s confrontation—it’s mainly why you stumbled here in your inebriated state. The other reason?

“Are you and Dara a thing?” The words tumble out before you know it.

The steady stream of water from the faucet is the only sound that fills the room while he mulls over your question.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” you blurt out, regret washing over you. “I-I should leave.” You stumble to your feet, your legs unsteady, your head pounding as you make for the door. A nagging voice in you reminds you that, given your complicated history, you have no right to pry into his personal life.

“Was that why you were sitting on my front stoop, drunk, in the middle of the night?”

You freeze, your hand hovering over the door latch as his question lingers. Torn between the urge to flee and wanting answers, it gave you pause.

He calls out your name.

Slowly, you turn to face him, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Would you believe me if I said ‘no’?” you wince.

Hoseok chuckles wryly. “You know you can’t bullshit your way through this.”

There’s no turning back now. Shoulders slumping in defeat, you admit, “I saw you and Dara having a moment as my brothers and I were leaving Hangsang.” You shrug, adding, “Looks like you guys got closer over the years.”

He stands there, an unreadable look on his face as he processes your words. When you realize he was making no attempt to deny it, you come to a hasty conclusion. You couldn’t disguise the disappointment from your tone.

“So, it’s true? You and Dara are—”

“Were,” he corrects you. “Past tense.”

Hoseok had hoped he didn’t need to have this conversation with you, but since you brought it up, there was no point in avoiding it.

“She and I were intimate a few times, but it didn’t go beyond that." He clears his throat, expression softening as he moves from behind the counter towards you.

“We found comfort in each other. I was watching my dad fade away, and she lost her husband,” he trailed off. “It just…happened. But we’re not in any kind of relationship.”

“And you’re sure she understands that?” you ask, recalling how Dara had tenderly stroked Hoseok’s face.

“She does,” he replies. “I made it clear I couldn’t offer her anything more. I wasn’t in a good place emotionally, and I knew I wasn't ready to open my heart to anyone.”

His admission weighs on you, but you try not to dwell on it. After all, Hobi is a grown man capable of making his own decisions.

“Thank you for being honest,” you say quietly, at a loss for words.

“You know I can’t lie to you. And I won’t, because I have no reason to. Besides,” he says, stopping mere inches from you, “as Dara put it, when I look at her, I see someone else.”

His gaze coupled with his proximity sets your pulse racing, and the room seems to shrink, filled with emotions you’ve tried to bury for years. His warm breath on your skin makes you want to close the gap between you.

“You’re it for me,” he says softly. “Without you, I was ready to spend the rest of my life walking around with a hole in my chest.”

His confession overwhelms you, causing a lump to form in your throat.

“Am I pathetic or what?” He chuckles wryly.

You shake your head. “Not in the least,” you say softly.

During a marriage counseling session, Sam said your love for him felt limited—contrived, even. You disagreed, insisting that having a second child proved your full commitment to him, which you genuinely believed at the time.

As time passed, you and Sam drifted apart. Returning to your hometown has only magnified the disconnect in your marriage. It's not that Sam is a bad partner; you just aren't fully present. A piece of you is missing, and that's what's keeping you from giving your all.

Now you realize what you've known all along—the person before you has always held that missing piece.

“It’s always been you, sunshine. Always.”

Your breath catches as you choke back a sob. “Hoseok,” you breathe out.

He cups your face, gently wiping away a tear you hadn’t realized had fallen. His warmth envelops you instantly. He may call you “sunshine,” but he was always your source of light. You decided then that you were done hiding in the shadows, and it was time to step back into the sun.

You lean in and kiss him, pouring all your angst and pain into it. As your lips touch, it feels like no time has passed. The connection between you is still there, as strong as ever.

He tightens his grip on you with his free hand, pulling you closer until no space remains between you. You both move towards the living room. Eager and breathless, you stumble onto the couch—a tangle of limbs and ragged breaths. The outside world fades away as you lose yourselves in each other.

********

Jin heads back upstairs to his room after having a few drinks with his brothers. He opens the door to find his wife, Yoojung, sleeping peacefully in bed.

He leans against the doorframe, watching her chest rise and fall in even breaths. He thinks about how lucky he is to have somebody like her as his partner and how amazing she’s been over the past couple of weeks.

He strips off his clothes and crawls into bed, pausing to kiss her forehead before settling in.

She stirs, her hand blindly feeling around for him in the dark. When she finds him, she slowly opens her eyes, smiling drowsily.

“Hi,” she croaks out.

“Hi,” Jin answers. “Feeling any better?” She’d been under the weather for a few days.

“Yeah,” she replies.

“Are you sure you’re not just saying that to make me feel better? I can take you to see the doctor tomorrow.”

She shakes her head slowly. “I’m fine, really,” she insists. “I think the last few days just caught up with me.”

She’d been constantly on the go, shouldering the burden of caring for the entire household while the family grieved.

He strokes her cheek, feeling guilty about how much she’s done for his family. “I’m sorry. My siblings are here for a couple more days, and once they leave, we can go back to our own home. Back to peace and quiet,” he says with a hint of humor.

“You don’t need to apologize,” she reassures him, “but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward coming back to our own place.”

He goes in for another kiss, this one more intense than the first. His lips move against hers, tender and loving, showing how much he appreciates her without saying a word.

When they come up for air, they’re both breathless.

“Wow, what was that for?” she asks, her cheeks flushed.

“Just a thank-you for being the best,” Jin answers. “I know being around my whole family is chaotic, but I’m grateful that you’ve been so patient in putting up with them.”

Yoojung’s lips curve into a gentle smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “I don’t put up with them. They’re my family, too. I was happy to take care of everybody.”

Jin’s chest swells with so much love for her. He caresses her cheek, saying, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Without me, you’d be stuck eating leftovers from the restaurant every day for dinner,” she jokes.

Jin throws his head back, laughing heartily. The alcohol has loosened his inhibitions. Yoojung quickly covers his mouth, shushing him to avoid waking the entire house.

“The kids are asleep,” she whispers harshly. “You need to keep it down.”

He can’t explain why, but her scolding turns him on. The alcohol seems to also have made him incredibly horny.

“Oh yeah?” His eyebrow quirks. “Why don’t you shut me up then?” He gives her a look—that same smoldering look that makes her core tighten in response.

Her breath catches, but she hesitates, mildly aware of how close their bedroom was to his parents’ room. Besides, her fertile window wasn’t for another day or two. “We can’t—”

“Please, yeobo…”

He moves closer, lowering his head to kiss her neck. Her lips part with a soft sigh when he begins to suck on the sensitive skin there.

Yoojung’s instinct is to reach for her phone to check her fertility app, but Jin’s neediness proves too irresistible for her to wait for her body to reach the ideal basal temperature. She was hot for him now.

Jin’s hand glides past her waist. She shifts slightly, hooking her leg on his waist, giving him better access as his fingers slips between her thighs.

Trying to stay quiet intensified their senses. Jin made Yoojung come twice. The first time, she sank her teeth into his shoulder to muffle her cries. The second time, she buried her face in her pillow while he groaned into her ear, reaching his own release.

It had been a while since they’d had sex purely for pleasure. The fertility treatments and constant focus on conceiving had turned these intimate moments into more of a chore, taking away the romance and passion.

Tonight was different. They savored each other, relishing every touch and sensation. Afterward, they lay together, content and happy.

“I love you,” he murmured between kisses, “so much…”

“I love you, too,” she sighed softly before they both drifted off to sleep.

You and Hoseok lie together, bodies entwined, hands brushing over bare skin. You bask in each other's presence as time seems to stand still.

He brushes over the curve of your eyebrow with the tip of his finger, his touch sending a flutter through your chest.

"Do you ever wonder how things might have been between us?“

“Yes,“ you respond without hesitation. "It's embarrassing how often I've thought about it." A pang of guilt hits you. This admission feels unfair to Sam and your marriage, but you're only human. During arguments with him, you find yourself seeking comfort either in your children--or in thoughts of Hoseok.

”I'm not judging,” he reassures you.

Your eyes locked for a moment, and you lace your fingers with his, studying every groove and contour. Curiosity sparkled in Hobi’s gaze as he asked, “What are you thinking about now?”

“That my hand fits perfectly with yours.” Something about him brings out all the cheesiness in you.

Intrigued, he leaned closer, tilting his head slightly. “Does it?”

Smiling, you brought his hand to your lips, brushing a tender kiss against his skin. The warmth from the sensation fills his chest, and without hesitation, he leans in for another kiss.

Even though you wish to stay like this all day, on his couch and wrapped up in his arms, daylight was peeking through his living window, much like the reality of the situation.

“I need to get back before Jooni wakes up looking for me,” you say with much reluctance.

At the mention of your daughter, Hoseok nods understandingly. He gives you space to disentangle yourself from him, his eyes following your bare form as you cross the room to retrieve the clothes he’d stripped off you earlier.

As you pull your top over your torso, you catch him watching your every move while you dress.

You pause, your face scrunching in amusement. “Can I help you with something?”

“Don’t mind me. I’m just enjoying the view.”

You gesture at your body. “Oh, you mean this old thing?”

“I don’t care. I love it. You’re beautiful.” He says it with so much reverence that it makes your heart flutters. You crouch down, gently stroking his cheek before kissing him.

You squeal in surprise as he grabs your waist and pulls you back onto the couch, onto his lap. You gaze down at him, taking in the sight of his tousled hair and sleepy eyes. He lies beautifully beneath you, not quite fully awake.

“Now this looks familiar…” he says playfully, his hands squeezing your thighs on either side of him. “It’s like déjà vu or something.”

You giggle at his teasing, resisting the urge to rock your hips against him. Earlier, your self-control had been far less restrained—non-existent, even. Memories flood your mind like a vivid highlight reel: echoes of pleasure-filled moans, fingertips tracing paths across sensitive skin, igniting sparks of arousal. It’s been ages since you’ve allowed yourself to be so completely swept up in the moment.

As difficult as it was to pull away from him, you find the strength. “Okay, I really, really need to go,” you murmur, suppressing a grin. You hop off him to finish dressing, then head to the bathroom to freshen up.

When you emerge, you find him sitting up. He’s pulled his bottoms on but his chest is still bare.

He raises his head, and you see a grave look on his face, worrying you.

“Hey… are you okay?” you ask, approaching him.

His gaze lingers on you—tracing your eyes, then your lips, then the curve of your cheek—as if he’s committing every feature to memory.

”What's wrong?” you ask again, growing more concerned.

“I’m scared that if you walk out that door, I won’t see you again,” he whispers. “But I know I can’t be selfish.”

Your impending divorce will undoubtedly complicate things, and you’re wary of clinging to false hope—for his sake and yours.

The reasonable thing to do is to return home, pretend last night never happened, and continue existing in your familiar reality.

After that final conversation with your dad, you decide you no longer want to merely exist—you want to truly live.

“We can afford to be selfish once in a while.” You brush your thumb across his lips, finally accepting the truth you’ve tried to escape for so long. “You’re it for me, too.”

You draw his mouth to yours and kiss him again. It feels right.

You run across the street. heart pounding furiously in your chest as you return from spending the night at Hoseok’s house. You peer through the kitchen window, checking if anyone’s awake—it seems early enough. Convinced the coast is clear, you slip in through the backyard’s side entrance to access the door that leads into the kitchen.

Unbeknownst to you, Jin enters the kitchen, coffee in hand, and settles at the counter to scroll through his emails. He’s in a fantastic mood—brought on by last night’s escapade and a hot wake-up call from Yoojung this morning.

His head whips around at the sound of the creaking door hinge. Amused, he watches you comically shut the door, trying your best to be stealthy. As you turn around, your heart leaps into your throat when you finally spot him.

“Ah! What the fu—” You clutch your chest.

“Well, good morning to you," Jin greets you, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

”Oppa...” you say carefully. You have no clue how much he's seen or how long he's been sitting there.

He can’t help but chuckle and take this opportunity to tease you. “I feel like I’ve just been transported back 15 years ago.”

You feel like a teenager again, caught sneaking around with Hoseok in the early days of your relationship.

Before you can come up with an excuse, the sound of feet shuffling announces the arrival of your children. Joobin and Jooni come down the stairs with your mom in tow.

“Mommy!” Jooni exclaims, running into your arms.

“Hi sweetie pie, good morning!” you reply, enveloping her in a warm hug.

Joobin, ever observant, asks, “Where were you? We woke up and you weren’t in the room.”

Thinking quickly, you make up a story.

“Well, uhm, I thought I heard a noise coming from the backyard, so I went downstairs to check on it.”

The kids, still curious, pepper you with more questions, but Jin comes to your rescue, deftly distracting them.

“Who wants pancakes?” he interjects.

The kids erupt in cheers, eagerly volunteering to assist their uncle in the kitchen.

You shoot Jin a grateful look, silently thanking him for the intervention. While the kids help him grab utensils and ingredients from the cupboards, your mom sidles up to you.

“Do I want to know where you’ve actually been?”

You make a beeline for the coffee machine. “It’s better you don’t,” you reply, in desperate need of caffeine.

As the pancake batter is mixed, Jin can’t resist one last playful jab. “Namjoon was right. You do get a great view of Hobi’s house from here,” he teases, leaving you to wonder how much he knows about your late-night activities across the street.

The kitchen is buzzing with morning energy when Taehyung trudges in. His hair looks like a bird's nest, and his eyes are barely open slits.

Jin couldn’t resist a little teasing. “Kids, say good morning to Uncle Tae!” he chirped.

Oblivious to their youngest uncle’s state, they shouted enthusiastically, “Good morning, samchyonie!”

Taehyung winced, his hands flying to his ears. “Heyyy kiddos…not so loud,” he croaks, his words slurring together. As he passes them to rummage through the cupboards, he plants a gentle kiss on top of each child’s head.

Jin’s trademark squeaky laugh filled the air. “Let’s keep it down, guys. Uncle Tae is hungover,” he explained, clearly enjoying the situation.

“Mommy, what’s ‘hungover’?” Jooni asks innocently.

You glared at Jin, which only made him laugh harder.

Joobin piped up, “Does that mean he’s drunk?”

Taehyung, summoning what little energy he had, corrected them. “It means I was drunk yesterday,” he says, dragging himself further into the kitchen until he finds the tea bags.

Jin couldn’t resist one more jab. “Actually, it seems like you’re still drunk right now,” he muttered under his breath.

“I heard that,” Taehyung grumbled, before turning his attention to you. “Is there any hot water ready for tea? And maybe some Tylenol or Advil?”

“Honey, did you check in my bathroom? I have plenty there,” your mom offers.

Taehyung shakes his head. “I don’t think I’m ready to go back in there yet.” The morning’s lighthearted mood shifts. Your mom’s face falls slightly, realizing he still can’t bear entering that room without thinking of your dad.

“I have some in my bag,” you offer. “Just check in my room.” Taehyung mouths his thanks and walks over to retrieve the pills from your purse.

********

Namjoon is startled awake by his phone buzzing. Groaning, he reaches for it along with his glasses. When he puts them on and sees the caller ID flashing on his lock screen, he picks up the call immediately.

“Vee?” He croaks.

“It's happening again!” her panicked voice rings out. “I'm bleeding...I’m going to lose the baby! What do I do?” she says over and over, sobbing uncontrollably.

Namjoon breaks into a cold sweat, instantly forgetting the pounding headache he woke up with. He sits up and keeps his voice even to calm her.

“Hey, listen to me. Let’s focus on your breathing, okay?” he says soothingly. “I’ll call an ambulance to the hotel, and I’ll meet you at the hospital.”

He knows it would be faster for her to go directly to the hospital rather than wait for him to pick her up.

“Do you understand?”

“I… Uh… yes...okay,” she agrees shakily, scrambling to gather her things.

“Hang in there, baby. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

She agrees with a whimper before the call ends.

As your children enjoy their breakfast, Jin and Taehyung’s playful banter continues. You can’t help but laugh at your brothers while sneaking a few bites from Joobin’s plate.

“I don’t think I can look at another bottle of whiskey again—especially those Jin-hyung concocted in his basement,” Taehyung groans as he massages his temples.

Your eyes widen at this revelation. Looks like you may have found the answer to the mystery alcohol you drank yesterday after all!

“It was not made in my basement,” Jin contests. “I partnered with a local brewer, so the casks are stored in their facility. It's artisan-level–”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Oh, excuse me–it’s a stranger’s basement whiskey then? Right, that sounds way more comforting.”

Jin puffs up indignantly. “It’s a craft spirit! There’s a difference. The process is—” he pauses, then puffs out a frustrated breath. “You know what? There’s no point in arguing with you. You’re impossible when you’re hungover.”

Taehyung grins triumphantly, taking another sip of his Bloody Mary that your mom made for him.

“Uncle TaeTae, can I try your smoothie?” Jooni wonders curiously.

Your mom shakes her head. “You don’t want that, darling. Only grown-ups who made bad decisions the night before can drink this special smoothie.”

“I’m happy to declare that I actually made some good decisions last night,” Taehyung says proudly.

Just then, you are startled by Namjoon’s heavy footsteps coming from the basement stairs.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck...” he mutters repeatedly, nearly stumbling on his way to the front door.

Jin pops his head out into the hallway. “Whoa—where’s the fire?”

“It’s, uh... it’s Vee. She—I mean, the baby—the baby’s in trouble.” He’s frantically wrestling with his keys on the wall hanger until the entire thing crashes to the floor.

Taehyung rushes to help as Namjoon lets out a pained growl and buries his head in his hands in frustration.

“I don’t need to know all the details,” Taehyung says calmly. “Just tell me what I can do to help.”

“I need to go to the hospital. Now.” Namjoon answers as evenly as he can manage.

“Okay. I’ll drive—”

“You’re not going anywhere, Kim Taehyung! You just had a drink!” you scold him.

“Ah, shit,” Taehyung mutters, squeezing his eyes shut when he realizes this.

“It’s okay. I’m... I’m fine to drive. I’m fine,” Namjoon stutters.

Before Jin can volunteer, your mom appears at the foot of the stairs, wearing a coat over her pajamas. When did she even go upstairs? you all wonder.

“I’ll drive,” she announces, slipping on her sneakers by the front door.

“M-ma, I said I was okay. I can—” Namjoon’s protests are cut short as she snatches the car keys from Taehyung’s hand.

“No time to argue. Let’s go.” With determined strides, your mom marches out the front door, car keys jingling, and heads straight for her car in the driveway.

Namjoon is frozen in shock, his eyes darting between you and your brothers.

“Hello?!” Your loud voice not only jolts him back to reality but makes Taehyung and Jin flinch as well. “What are you waiting for? Go!” You practically shove his broad frame out the door.

With a grateful glance towards you and your brothers, he turns and hurries after your mom, anxious to face whatever awaits him at the hospital.

Once Namjoon arrives at the hospital, he runs toward the reception desk while his mom searches for parking.

“I’m here for Victoria Lee.”

Before the nurse searches her system, she asks, “And what is your relation to the patient?”

“I’m her, uh—” Namjoon hesitates, his breath catching. He quickly recovers, stating more firmly, “I’m her husband.” With their divorce papers still in process, this is technically and legally accurate.

The nurse eyes him suspiciously and asks for his name and identification, which Namjoon provides. Once she enters his information, she verifies that Namjoon is listed as Victoria’s emergency contact.

She hands his identification back to him. “Thank you, Mr. Kim. Just take the elevators up to the 3rd floor and she’ll be in room 9.”

Just as he utters his thanks, his mom walks through the sliding doors and they head up together to where Victoria was.

********

When Namjoon walks through the door, he sees Victoria on a slightly reclined bed. Her hospital gown is bunched up under her chest, exposing a subtle swell on her belly just below her navel.

She sees him, a mixture of shock and relief washing over her face.

“Joon!”

“Hey.” He rushes to her side and unwittingly gives her a quick peck on the lips. It catches them both by surprise. Namjoon apologizes under his breath but is interrupted by the doctor, who has just entered the room.

“Hi, are you the dad?” The doctor asks.

Namjoon nods.

“Great! I’m Dr. Yoon,” the doctor introduces himself. “You’re just in time for the ultrasound.”

“Ultrasound?” Namjoon asks, his voice laced with apprehension. The last time he looked at an ultrasound screen, it brought bad news.

“Yep,” the doctor responds. “This is going to be a little cold,” he warns Victoria before squeezing a bluish-green gel on her stomach. He turns back to grab the transducer probe off the hook, then begins to slide it over her belly. His free hand programs some settings onto the control panel until the screen comes to life.

Namjoon and Victoria hold their breaths in anticipation.

The doctor moves the probe to a different position to get another visual. It looks static from their viewpoint.

“Now, if I can just find the heartbeat, here,” the doctor mumbles.

“What if there’s no heartbeat?” she whispers shakily, eyes pooling with tears.

“Sshh,” he says, squeezing her hand gently. “Let’s not jump to conclusions yet. Give it some time.”

She begins to whimper. “I can’t believe this is happening again. What’s wrong with me?”

At that moment, Namjoon decided to reach for a white lie. “It’s all going to be fine, okay? Trust me.”

He didn’t know that for certain, of course, but the reassuring look he gave her was convincing enough to calm her down. In a way, it calmed him down too.

“Okay, let’s keep our voices down,” the doctor interrupts. “I’m having a hard time picking up anything on the monitor.”

Following the doctor’s instructions, he turns a knob on the control panel. Seconds later, a whooshing sound fills the room through the speakers. The baby’s heartbeat is strong and steady.

Namjoon and Victoria gasp in surprise and relief.

“Ah, there we go!” the doctor exclaims, pointing to the static blob wiggling on the screen.

“That’s—woah...” Namjoon stares in awe at the little bean flickering on the monitor.

“Oh my god,” Victoria whispers. She tearfully glances up at him with a small smile. It dawns on her that this is Namjoon’s first time seeing the baby’s scan.

“Wow,” he says again, completely at a loss for words.

“Music to my ears, and yours too, I’m sure,” the doctor smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. The rhythmic whooshing sound continues to fill the room and Namjoon can’t help but return the smile, feeling an unexpected rush of emotion.

The doctor carefully repositions the probe, gliding it across Victoria’s gel-covered belly with ease. His eyes remain fixed on the monitor as he meticulously checks the baby’s vital organs and physical features, occasionally pausing to take measurements or adjust the angle for a clearer view.

After a few more minutes of observation, Dr. Yoon leans back with a satisfied nod. “Spotting aside, your baby appears to be doing just fine.” Hearing this, both Namjoon and Victoria visibly relax.

The doctor presses a few more buttons and prints out several images. “Here we go,” he says, detaching the sonogram printout and handing it to them.

They take the images from the doctor and gaze fondly at the picture of their baby.

“I’ve reviewed your bloodwork,” Dr. Yoon adds, “and noticed your progesterone levels are a bit low. I can prescribe something to help with that and so we can keep you and your baby safe. Sound good?”

As the doctor continues discussing the treatment plan, the door bursts open.

“Sorry, sorry! I got here as fast as I could. The GPS—”

Jaxon’s entrance instantly shatters the joy and euphoria Namjoon had been feeling. “Ah, fuck….”

Namjoon turns to her, his anger brimming. “You called him?”

Before discovering she was bleeding, Jaxon had already planned to meet Victoria at the hotel. In the midst of the emergency, she’d texted him about going to the hospital.

“Shit—Jax,” she utters in horror then turns back to Namjoon, trying to cobble up an explanation. “I—this isn’t—”

Namjoon rises from her bedside, anger bubbling in his chest. “No, no, no,” he says, shaking his head. “I can’t do this. I don’t even know why I came here...”

“I’m sorry, what’s going on here? Who are you?” Dr. Yoon asks, pointing to Namjoon.

“I am her husband!”

“And that makes you...?” Dr. Yoon turns to Jaxon.

“The guy my wife cheated on me with,” Namjoon said through gritted teeth.

Mortified, Victoria tries to plead with him. “Joon, please. Let’s not ruin this moment—”

Namjoon is incredulous. “I’m ruining the moment?” All the warm, sentimental feelings Namjoon had after seeing the sonogram vanish, were replaced by the contempt he felt when Victoria arrived unannounced to tell him about the pregnancy.

Jaxon, oblivious to the gravity of the situation, chooses this moment to interject. “Look, man, I had no clue–”

“Un-fucking-beliveable!” Namjoon growled.

Seeing the panic and distress on his patient’s face as she tries to calm both men, Dr. Yoon intervenes. “Alright! Both of you—out—now!” he says sternly. “I can’t have my patient under this kind of stress.”

Namjoon looks at Victoria. She drops her eyes to her hands, not arguing. It takes all of his energy to rein in his anger.

This isn’t the time or place, he says to himself. Squaring his jaw, he sidesteps Jaxon on his way out the door.

********

Lina rises from her chair when Namjoon arrives in the waiting area, his face contorted with rage.

“Honey, how is she? How’s the baby?” she asks, her voice tinged with worry.

“She’s fine,” Namjoon replies curtly. “Let’s go.”

“Wha—is she stable?” His mom, confused by his behavior, tries to piece things together. “What happened?”

“Ma, please!” He snaps.

Sensing his distress, she doesn’t push further and follows him toward the exit. As they stand before the bank of elevators, a voice calls out to Namjoon.

“Namjoon! Namjoon, wait up!”

He ignores it, but his mom glances past his shoulder, recognizing the man calling out.

“I hate these fucking elevators,” Namjoon mutters as he repeatedly jams his finger on the button until the doors finally open.

“Joon, Joon—wait!”

They both hurry inside, but a hand wedges between the closing doors, forcing them apart.

Namjoon curses under his breath as Jaxon steps in, attempting conversation. “Bro, I swear, I didn’t expect you to be here. Vee and I were supposed to meet up and—”

Namjoon’s mom looks on as he seethes within the cramped space. Though he could easily silence Jaxon with his fist, he restrains himself.

When the doors open to the lobby, Namjoon pushes past Jaxon, who is right on his tail, yapping away, badgering him for a response.

“C’mon, man—I’m trying to extend an olive branch here and you’re just shitting on it. I thought we were friends, bro?”

Namjoon turns around with a menacing glare. Jaxon’s words strike a nerve in him. They had indeed been friends and artistic partners once. But Namjoon knew Jaxon’s true nature all too well. The worst part of Victoria’s infidelity was that despite his warnings about Jaxon’s toxic behavior, she still chose to betray him. It was like getting stabbed in the back with a rusty knife and twisting it repeatedly for good measure.

“Jaxon, why don’t you take the hint and stop following him,” his mom interrupts, stepping between the two men. “He clearly doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Hospital security begins to approach, drawn by the commotion.

“And who the fuck are you, lady? Barking orders here like you’re the boss of me?” Jaxon yells. In his narcissistic haze, he’s forgotten Namjoon’s mom’s face, despite having met her a few times before.

Fully aware that this is the same asswipe who contributed to her son’s marital breakdown, she cocks her head and replies coolly, “I am his mother, and you are not allowed to speak to me that way!”

“Or what?”

One thing about Lina Young: if challenged, she would most definitely would rise to it.

Without hesitation, she balls her hand into a fist and throws a punch—the large gemstone on her ring landing squarely on Jaxon’s surgically enhanced nose. He lets out a pathetic whimper, clutching his face.

Namjoon’s jaw drops, his hand flying up to cover his mouth. He barely suppresses a guffaw as he watches his mom shake out her hand while security rushes to break up the commotion.

She raises her hands as they attempt to escort her. “I can walk myself out, thank you,” she says, straightening her coat. Reverting to her usual classy demeanor, she exits the building as if she hadn’t just made a man—a whole foot taller and 30 years her junior—cry.

Namjoon bends down to pick up her watch and bracelet, which she’d dropped in the scuffle.

“You’re just going to let your mom hit me?” Jaxon shouts as nurses tend to him.

“You bet I am! She’s a good shot, too,” Namjoon retorts, laughter echoing through the doors as he follows his mom to the parking lot.

Your mom smiles warmly from her seat at the dining table, watching Jooni hand an ice pack to you.

“Thank you, my darling girl,” she says to her granddaughter, wincing as you press it against her bruised hand.

When she and Namjoon arrived home, he led her straight to the kitchen to nurse her hand. Naturally, your children asked what was wrong with halmeoni. Namjoon quickly came up a wild story about her punching a vending machine when her chocolate bar got stuck.

“Halmeoni, please be careful next time. Daddy says you’re not supposed to hit the machine if your candy gets stuck. You have to call a worker to help you,” Joobin says, showing concern for her swollen hand.

“Thank you, Joobinie. I will remember that next time,” your mom replies sweetly.

You tell them to move to the backyard and continue playing, but not before Jooni gives her hand a light kiss before running off.

Once the kids are out of earshot, you decide to get the facts. “Care to tell me what really happened?”

Namjoon relays the events from the hospital, which ended with your mom sucker-punching Jaxon.

You gasp in horror and disbelief. “Oh my god, ma?!”

“What?” she says innocently, not seeing the problem. “It's not like he didn't deserve it! Besides, I never liked that piece of shit coming to my house anyway. I knew he was trouble, so he had it coming!”

You and Namjoon stare at her wide-eyed.

She rolls her eyes at both of you. “Oh, come on! You kids didn’t get your potty mouths from your father, that’s for damn sure.”

Before you can argue, you hear Jooni yelling for you from outside. You excuse yourself to check on what the kids might be arguing about this time. On your way out, you poke Namjoon in the ribs and mouth, “Promise you’ll tell me later?”

Namjoon gives you a nod, before you run out to check on your kids.

They enjoy a few moments of silence until Namjoon, who was standing before, moves to take a seat.

“Here, let me.” He takes the ice pack from her and presses it to her hand. She smiles fondly, watching him dote on her, as it was a rare sight.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” he mumbles, peering up at her.

“You know, I used to do my own stunts back in the day,” she quips, eliciting a laugh from him. She loved seeing the dimple in his cheek deepen. It mirrored her own on the opposite side.

As they settle into a comfortable silence, the gears in Namjoon’s mind continue to spin. She removes her hand from beneath the ice pack to take off her ring, hoping to ease more of the soreness and swelling. His gaze shifts to the jewelry she sets down on the table—a solitaire emerald symbolizing his parents’ 35-year anniversary.

He recalls the day his father proudly showed him the ring before giving it to her. It was the same year she stepped back from her acting career, coinciding with his diagnosis, only known between them.

Though it seemed like an extravagant piece, his father insisted on gifting it to her. “It’s perfect,” he’d said. The ring not only represented their deep love for each other, but also symbolized growth and new beginnings—a celebration of their marriage as it truly deserved.

It made Namjoon reflect on his own marriage. “Mom?” He pauses, wondering if this is an inopportune time to talk about his thoughts.

“What is it, hun?”

He takes a deep breath, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “When you were away for work, did…” He trails off, the words catching in his throat.

She waits patiently, her eyes filled with concern. “…Yes?”

Finally, he musters the courage to continue. “Did you ever think about cheating on dad?”

Her eyes widen, clearly taken aback. “Oh…”

Immediately regretting his question, he backpedals. “Fuck, I’m sorry. That was completely out of line,” he shakes his head, mentally kicking himself. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Despite her initial shock, his mom’s expression softens as she realizes that his recent experiences with Victoria have left him questioning things.

“No, no. That’s...” She clears her throat, composing herself. “It’s a fair question. I understand why you’d ask.”

“No, it was a dumb question. I’m sorry,” Namjoon stutters, his eyes dropping to the floor in embarrassment and regret.

She regards him silently, taking in his pained expression. She thought about her answer carefully, hoping that whatever he says would help him work out his feelings.

“Well,” she begins after a few beats, “when you’re away for long stretches, fatigue and loneliness can set in. One might think that’s a recipe for disaster. But your dad and I were always open about our feelings. I think our constant communication gave us both reassurance and eased much of the loneliness we felt. So, to answer your question—no, cheating never crossed my mind.”

Namjoon found himself questioning every aspect of his relationship. For months, he replayed conversations and actions from the past year, scrutinizing them for any misstep that might have driven his wife to cheat.

“I don’t know Victoria’s reasons, and I don’t care to. You’ve made your decision, and I’m not going to complicate things further.”

He sighs wearily. As you reminded him not so long ago, he didn’t do “complicated.” He avoided the road less traveled and always stayed on course.

“Sometimes I think about the past year, replaying things in my head,“ Namjoon says, his voice thick with emotion. “I thought I was being a good husband—I provided for her, fully supported her career, and never made her feel suffocated. I showed and told her every day how much I loved her.“

He looked up at his mom, who listened to him intently as he poured his heart out.

“I can’t seem to figure out at what point she decided I wasn't enough.“

Her heart breaks watching Namjoon’s broad shoulders slump, his tall frame reduced by the weight of his frustration. She reaches up with her uninjured hand to run her fingers through her second-oldest son’s hair. It’s the first chance she’s had to console him since he revealed his divorce to the rest of the family.

“Namjoon,” she begins softly, “when you love someone long-term, it means witnessing and mourning their many versions. People change, outgrowing their old selves or dreams they once had. It’s normal to miss those old versions and wish they would stick around—because those versions made us happy. We don’t get to choose when or how they change, but we can choose to walk with them and learn to embrace whatever version they decide to be.”

Namjoon gazes at her intently. These were the kind of talks he typically had with his father.

“That sounds like something dad would say,” he says with a gentle smile.

“Oh honey, that was all me,” she says with a playful touch of pride. Turning serious once more, she adds, “Somebody who loves you unconditionally will choose to stick around for all those versions of you.”

Namjoon’s mood turns sullen, suddenly regretting all the years he felt he needed to be angry at his mother.

“I’m sorry for being unfair to you for a long time, eomma. I…” his voice wavers as he’s caught between remorse and resentment toward the women in his life.

His mother wished, at that moment, that she wasn’t dwarfed by his 6-foot-tall frame and she could pick him up and hold him like she used to when he would fall over and bruise himself.

It’s been a long time since Namjoon allowed himself to be this vulnerable in front of her. Since his teen years, he’s been closed off and aloof. But all this time, she’s waited patiently for him to let his guard down.

She cradles his cheek in her hand. “Shh…” she says soothingly. “I want you to know that I have been and will always be here for every version of you.”

He gazed at her with sad eyes. These were times when he typically relied on his father, who was always there to help Namjoon get back on track. For years, his mom had longed for the opportunity to offer that same support.

Without a second thought, she stood and wrapped him in a warm embrace. It marked a turning point in healing their own relationship.

Finding comfort in her arms, he finally lets go of all his pent-up frustration and grief.

After putting the kids to bed, things begin to settle down. Your hangover is finally beginning to dissipate.

You walk downstairs to get a drink of water when you notice the door leading to the backyard is ajar. You go to close it but pause when you see someone sitting on the deck.

You step out and join Taehyung, who looks up from his wine glass, mid-sip.

“Back for more, huh?” You nod at his drink.

He chuckles as you take a seat next to him.

“You know, I didn’t bring an unlimited supply of Advil in my purse,” you joke.

“I know, noona. This is just a little something to help me fall asleep.”

You hum skeptically. “As long as you don’t overdo it. Otherwise, you’ll have to go into mom’s medicine cabinet to get more meds for your hangover.”

He nods, giving a half-hearted smile at your remark, then continues to stare off into the distance.

You study your him for a moment. Despite him joking around today, you know him well enough to recognize when he’s masking his true feelings. It’s clear to you, based on his comment this morning about avoiding your parents’ room, that he’s grappling with something deeper than he’s letting on.

“Do you want to talk?” you ask, your voice soft and encouraging.

His shoulders tense and his gaze drifts downward as your question hangs in the air.

“I don’t know if that would help,” he says quietly.

You were all reeling from your father’s death and dealing with it in different ways, but Taehyung seemed to be taking it the hardest.

“I don’t know either, but there’s no harm in trying, right?”

He doesn’t respond, so you don’t push him. “Or I could just sit here with you until you feel sleepy.”

He chews his bottom lip, wrestling with his thoughts. Finally, he puffs out his cheeks, letting out a long sigh. “I can’t even go into his room,” he says. “I—” His voice cracks, making him curse under his breath.

His pain tears you to pieces. You rub soothing circles on his back, feeling his body tremble with each heart-wrenching sob.

“I wish I could have saved him,” he croaks, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I feel like shit for not doing anything.”

By the time you discovered your dad’s illness, it was already terminal. There was nothing any of you could have done apart from making him feel comfortable and loved during the last few moments of his life.

“We all wished we could have done something, but it was out of our hands,” you say, your eyes brimming with tears at his raw emotion.

“I just…” he choked out, “can’t believe I’m never going to see him again. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with that.”

Coming to terms with your father’s absence would be an uphill battle. Yet, knowing him, he’d be heartbroken to know that he was the reason for your sadness.

Swallowing hard, you gathered your strength to ease your brother’s pain.

“It’s okay not to be okay,” you begin to say, “But you know, we had 30-something years with him. If we were sad all the time, it would be as if those years he gave us meant nothing. The best way to honor his memory is to try our hardest to live well and be happy. And I believe that’s what he would have wanted.”

Taehyung’s tear-filled eyes meet yours. “But that seems so impossible,” he laments softly.

The idea of moving forward and carrying on with life seems unimaginable—and admittedly, it feels that way for you, too.

From this point on, whenever you make one of your dad’s dishes or Taehyung plays one of his records, that wound will reopen, just when you think it has healed.

The pain of loss never truly goes away. There will be dark days and there will be bright days. You learn to coexist with it. Just when you think you’ve made progress, you might find yourself back at square one.

Grieving is an ongoing process and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. What makes it bearable is having people to lean on.

“And that’s when you pick up the phone and call me,” you reply ruefully, “as long as you’ll let me call you when I’m struggling.”

He nods, a hint of a smile crossing his face, as he agrees to be there for each other through the ups and downs. “Of course,” he adds softly, reaching out to give your hand a gentle squeeze.

You wrap your arm around him and pull him close. He instinctively rests his head on your shoulder. Together, you sit and stare at the starry night sky, hoping your father is looking down on you both with pride.

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @roaminginthenights @majamarantha @ayoo-bangtan @noelleydances @carriereadsbooks

◤Previous | Part 10 (finale)◥  | BTS Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

Interaction/feedback is appreciated but *not* required. But just in case you feel comfortable enough to comment or just say hello, my inbox 📩 is open 💜💎

[azems-familiar]

okay, okay, under the cut: a loose conglomeration of lore about my Warrior of Light. aka my best attempt at summarizing the key emotional beats of five expansions, which is not a summary at all, and also giving a brief overview of my Azem

Warrior of Light

(art by outheros)

(art by mythlorn)

Name: Lelesu Lesu

Age: 27 during Endwalker, 22 at the start of ARR

Pronouns: she/her

Classes: red mage, sage (dabbled in marauder and white mage before drifting away from them for various reasons)

Relationships: Haurchefant (briefly), Aymeric; queerplatonic with Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus

some lore about her:

Lelesu was born in Ul'dah and grew up as part of the wealthy merchant-noble class that makes up its high society. She absolutely despised the neat box of a life her parents tried to keep her in, and ended up sort-of running away from home to join the Adventurers' Guild in Limsa Lominsa, cutting all ties with her blood family and picking up adventuring and an axe to strike out on her own, in search of the freedom to define her own life. She joins up with the Scions willingly, happy to help make a difference, especially when it becomes obvious that she's one of a handful of people capable of facing primals, but it doesn't become really personal until the massacre at the Waking Sands, where she loses most of the first people she genuinely called friends.

She gets pretty close with Haurchefant while they're in Coerthas the first time, and in the aftermath of becoming the Warrior of Light she treasures that connection because it's one of the few places she doesn't feel like she has to be the responsible, duty-bound Hero version of herself the WoL is. Even with, maybe especially with tbh, the other Scions there's that sort of distance between them, because they're her friends and her coworkers but they also expect the same sort of miracles out of her as the rest of Eorzea, through no fault of their own.

She's actually furious with Midgardsormr when he removes the blessing of Light. Has no interest in proving herself to him at first, because she blames him for Nabriales breaching the Rising Stones, which of course led to Moenbryda's death. Eventually the blame shifts to herself instead - she feels like if she'd been stronger, she wouldn't have lost the blessing to begin with. This is a theme that comes back during Heavensward, too - she was a white mage before she picked up red mage, and so when Haurchefant (who she was very much in love with) throws himself in front of that spear for her, she's the one who tries to heal him, and she fails. In some ways, she blames the loss of the blessing of Light and her own weakness for his death. If she'd just been stronger, been a better Warrior of Light, etc, then he wouldn't have died. And he should've known better than to try to protect her, Hydaelyn wouldn't have let her die. Etc.

For a while here she completely stops using white magic entirely, which is a problem - red mage is all about balance, using white and black magic equally, and without drawing on both kinds of power you can't perform certain abilities, plus it has a whole mechanic where the further off-balance you get the harder it is to cast in the opposite direction and fix yourself. So she's off-balance in her aether, and that makes her even more reckless and emotionally off-balance, and she's struggling to grieve and sort of stuck living in the moment of Haurchefant's death, which makes her quest against Thordan a kind of revenge quest. She isn't really able to start learning to move forward again and recovering from that loss until she spends a bunch of time helping Aymeric build the new peace in Ishgard and teach the people to move on from their broken past, and that slowly leads her to work through her pain and trauma over the months.

Stormblood is...not really very much in the way of character development, but it is where she kisses Aymeric for the first time, just before she leaves to go to Doma, so it gets an honorable mention.

On the other hand a lot of insanity happens in Shadowbringers. She gets a nice new facial scar courtesy of Elidibus-as-Zenos when G'raha summons her out of her body during that fight (Aymeric is Deeply Freaked Out). Once she's in the First, she's dealing with a whole lot of confusing emotions and instincts related to Emet-Selch - her first impression when they properly meet is both that it hurts to look at him, for some inexplicable reason, and also wariness, the kind you'd have for a rabid animal, because there's just something so Wrong to her about the way he acts. This goes along nicely with the instinct she has to trust him that also makes no sense, so she's running around trying to save two worlds from the same calamity while dealing with the most confusing emotional state ever. This doesn't get much better when she gives in and starts spending time asking him questions and just talking to him, in a way the rest of the Scions won't do, because he feels familiar to her, like she should recognize him but can't.

This gets a thousand times worse when she drags her shattering soul down to Amaurot-beneath-the-sea to rescue G'raha, feeling like an absolute failure of a Warrior of Darkness the whole time. Amaurot itself feels incredibly familiar to her and also makes her want to cry because of the immense feelings of loss it evokes, she's already attuned to the aetheryte in the depths (I do not care if this is lore-appropriate or not it's fun), she feels like she knows Hythlodaeus, by the time they confront Emet-Selch again she's half-demanding half-begging him for answers he won't give because he's deep in denial and also wants her to remember him herself. She breaks down crying when she's forced to kill him in the end and doesn't know why.

Endwalker is just....A Fucking Mess. She's so done with Zenos's shit, her duty keeps weighing her down, everything is horrible. The body-swap bit really messes with her for a while and it takes time to recover from. Plus the whole thing with Zodiark - she didn't want to kill Zodiark, just weaken Him so the Watcher could bind Him again. She didn't want to permanently kill all those souls! She recovers bits and pieces of memories whenever she uses Azem's crystal to summon people, enough to be able to tell Emet-Selch, Hythlodaeus, and Venat that she is a reincarnation of Azem, but she doesn't regain her memories in full until Ultima Thule, when she summons Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus to help her against Meteion at the end. With those memories regained she's able to convince the two of them to stay with her and give the future a try; moving on is something none of them knew how to do before but she's had to learn to live through grief and come to terms with it anyway and she wants desperately to show them both how as well.

She considers Ishgard her home, and the Fortemps family as her chosen family - she's actually sworn brotherhood with Artoirel. And she considers herself Azem still, in the terms of Azem is a duty to the people that she has believed in basically since she became the Warrior of Light, and she won't let go of it.

In the final fight with Zenos at Ultima Thule, she very nearly dies, and he breaks her glasses against her face, severely injuring her right eye, among other things. Though she doesn't lose the eye it ends up solid white from scar tissue and she's completely blind in it - but she does end up learning how to see the aether through that eye alone.

Azem

(art by mythlorn)

Name: Seleukos

Class: black mage, has training with a sword thanks to Venat

Pronouns: they/them

Age: ohhh man idk probably somewhere around a century by the Sundering? don't ask

Relationships: queerplatonic triad with Hythlodaeus and Emet-Selch

if i get into my lore about them we'll be here all day so just read this fic I wrote full of the important flashbacks and whatnot instead

i also have a very fleshed-out AU where Lelesu is the WoL alongside @sunderedazem's Corrain, but this post will turn monstrous if i go into ANY details about that. so just know it exists and we'll both answer asks about it. lol

[kraefishh]

figured i'd post mine and my friends wols on main for the time being while im still stockpiling stuff for when i eventually make that side blog for em

basic stuff is - 1) there's more than one wol 2) by more than one i mean there are seven of them 3) each one/two of them are designated for a specific expansion 4) i have so much stuff planned for them all and have not even finished stormblood (please help me)

also im putting them under a cut so the post isnt naturally extremely fucking long

SO WE'LL START IN ORDER!!!!

Alidae Mendica -- ARR WoL. only one without a "traditional" name convention. SMN/MCH/GNB. bloody banquet happened and she got to ishgard and went "NOPE. I'M DONE." and goes and spends most of her time at the skysteel manufactory with garlond ironworks.

i love her very much she was the first i made. i nearly played an elezen but then really wanted to be small. so after finishing the opening cutscene i restarted and well!! shes here!! shes ready to kick some ass!!!

T'lyr Kho -- 1/2 Heavensward WoLs. is half miqo half garlean, possesses the third eye as well (hence the shaggy hair+forehead coverings). PLD/DRG/DRK/SGE. is never doing well at any given moment. he is (not) coping.

he's the one who made me spiral and make 3 more characters. i love him so so dearly.

Touya Kawa (@twisted-solace's wol) -- the other Heavensward WoL. WAR/DRG/RPR. the most shy and well spoken but will not hesitate to cleave you. works himself to death (quite nearly literally!).

i wish i had more to say about him other than he is very silly. him and t'lyr picked up lancer as a bonding experience and then got roped into dragoon lore (whoopsie!!)

Koren Cadoret -- 1/2 Stormblood WoLs. has 1v1'd Zenos too many times to count. very very protective of his sister and friends. MNK/SAM (plus blue mage and soon to be viper!!).

I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM!!!! punch first ask questions later. wants to be everyone's friend. separation anxiety got his ass in shadowbringers cause he was the last wol to be summoned to the first.

Raana Cadoret -- the other Stormblood WoL. took her brother and left her village the moment she was declared to be the next matriarch. DNC/AST/RDM. likes to give koren shit about his poor decisions.

she makes me go :) !!!!! we really cant decide if she picks up astrologian on the first or if she does it beforehand.

Sthallona Dhemskyltwyn -- 1.0 WoL and also Shadowbringers at the same time?? shes going through it. WHM/BLM. grew up the daughter of a famous pirate. Thancred's childhood best friend.

feigned death after the calamity until she gets pulled to the first and is like "AH SHIT. HERE WE GO AGAIN." she gives me perhaps the most brainworms.

AND FINALLY

Sarangerel Malqir (@trying_to_cosplay on insta's wol) -- Endwalker WoL while also being a whole can of worms by herself. was her universe's only WoL before shit collided in shadowbringers and she met everyone else

the love of my life-- ahem. currently only Warrior canonically because my friend is not even halfway through ARR. very much younger sibling energy to the rest of the scions/wols.

last notes - 1) t'lyr and touya are gay (lovingly referred to as 'the boyfs' by me and @twisted-solace) touya nearly fucking dies for t'lyr and t'lyr proceeds to go oh wait fuck i dont want to lose you. normal shit for their line of work. 2) koren canonically says "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" to zenos. and zenos proceeds to get very confused. zenos isnt even who he ends up with koren just likes fucking with him. 3) raana went through 4 different wol/npc ship ideas before we finally landed on hien. that was hell. 4) alidae and cid are best friends!! stamp of approval right here!!! alidae also hates nero's guts. 5) if biggs and wedge (who i lovingly refer to as the 'lab boys') are around, alidae is not far behind. 6) alidae was named before i realized there was a character named alisaie. this is canonically a struggle for everyone. 7) sthallona swam her ass to sharlayan upon realizing that thancred had been taken under louisoix's wing. insert LET ME IN. LET ME IIIIIIN gif here. she wrote a thesis on how to combine conjuring and thaumaturge magic before ever knowing what a red mage was. (she is very stupid but also unnaturally smart). 8) t'lyr can't use magic. point blank. his third eye fucks that up for him. only reason he can be a Sage is because the magitek does it for him. on the bright side he's really good at parkour!!!

anyway if you got down this far thank you for looking at my blorbos. i am working (not very) hard to get that sideblog set up for these weirdos. i appreciate them very much they consume my every waking thought.

[nuclearanomaly]

20 – Hamper

wc. 729 | Shadowbringers | verse ft @pocket-cat 's Ulan

Thancred is suspicious, and frustrated by the actions of their fellow Scion. Ninira is frustrated and mostly unable to be bothered. They have bigger things to worry about.

Sorting the miscellaneous screws, washers, bolts and whatever other bits the Eulmorans had clobbered together to assist with the Ladder repairs was far from the most demanding of tasks she had ever been assigned, but for good reason. She had been ordered to leave the reconstruction efforts to the others and for the most part she was willing. Construction and heavy lifting were well outside her wheelhouse, and Y'shtola had snapped at her when she had offered to help reanimate the Golems whenever they arrived. Yet there was only so much relaxing she could handle, especially with Vauthery’s twisted Mt Gulg looming on the horizon. So she did menial work on the days spent at the Ladder’s base, counting supplies, helping with ledgers, or like today, sorting. 

She sat off to the side of the yard, perched on a crate, a box of miscellaneous bits at her side, dropping the pieces of metal into separate buckets at her feet. The mindlessness of it was pleasant in a way, she was helping but she could let her thoughts wander her—a shadow fell over her and she looked up, tipping back the brim of her hat. 

“Need a hand?” Thancred didn’t wait for a reply as he took a seat beside her reaching to pick up a handful of screws and nuts.

Ninira didn’t protest, but also didn’t welcome the gesture. They sat in silence the only sound the clinking of metal as it dropped into the buckets before Thancred eventually spoke up.

“Ulan is off today.”

It wasn’t a question. It was a fact but Ninira answered anyway. “Yes.”

“Using that time to seek him out.”

Ninira withheld a sigh. “And?”

“Does that not bother you, Ninira? Even in the slightest?”

Did it bother her? She no longer knew. It was far from the most pressing of her worries these days. “Does it matter?”

Thancred shifted in his seat. She could tell he was looking at her but she didn’t turn to meet his gaze. “What of the things she tells him during those moments? How much is she sharing? Think of what she could hamper by divulging our plans.”

Ninira scoffed. “What plans? Nothing we’re doing is secret. We’ve made plain our intentions, even if we hadn’t they would be obvious. He’s stated his position as an observer–”

“You believe him?” Thancred sounded insulted.

“He’s not interfered yet.” She finally looked at him. “And he did help save Y’shtola.” She added pointedly. Thancred’s brow furrowed.

“So far I believe him. But–” she added as Thancred opened his mouth to presumably argue that point. “I do not trust him. I think there is a difference.” 

She dropped a screw into one of the buckets. Butitng heads with Thancred like this frustrated her. A few moons prior, back on the Source and she would have identified him as one of the Scions she was most comfortable with. But the First had changed him, changed them all, and Ninira was still working her way through those changes. He was trying through, so Ninira sighed and did her best to try in return.

“I know you’re bothered by Ulan’s actions. You have every right to be. I also know you're just trying to watch our backs and look out for us all. It is appreciated.” 

She looked at him pointedly. “But this isn’t Ryne making a silly choice, uncertain in the world, and needing guidance. Ulan is an adult, her actions and her choices are her own. None of us can make her do anything she doesn’t wish to.” 

Metal clinked on metal as she continued to sort. “I can’t fathom what she seeks out Emet-Selch for, what they possibly could talk about. However, that’s her choice and her business. Until the day comes where her actions cause harm, or she chooses to raise steel against us then I’m not bothered. She can do as she pleases.”

Thancred was quiet for a while, absently watching the few other Scions that were around today as they went about their work at the base of the Ladder. “I will never forgive myself if something happens because I was negligent.” He spoke barely above a whisper.

“It will be fine, Thancred.” She reassured him, pausing in her work to look up at the looming cliffs above. “We just have to stop Vauthry. What could go wrong?”

[lalannaoronir]

She could still remember how she felt that night at Kadjaya's Footsteps: a mixture of awe and an underlying terror she couldn't quite explain at the sight of the brilliant starshower above Thavnair.

Hear. Feel. Think.

She was only a child then, barely past her seventeenth nameday; could anyone blame her for ignoring Hydaelyn's call? She didn't even know it was Hydaelyn at the time. She didn't know who Hydaelyn was at all -- only the Sisters. And that voice did not belong to any of them. So she ignored it, or tried to, for three years.

But the visions. The visions of others' memories, the ones that overwhelmed her that day by the shore -- her, an Au Ra practically birthed to swim in Thavnair's clear waters -- she couldn't hide that. She couldn't think of an excuse quick enough to explain to her mother why she had nearly drowned in front of her.

She didn't want to leave, but she knew she couldn't keep going on like this. These visions, this Echo had to go. But the Students of Baldesion had wrote that a group in the far-off land of Eorzea would be able to help her, and so she believed them.

She boarded a ship heading to Aldenard, to Thanalan, and upon her arrival, the timid foreign girl requested aid of an official-looking armored guard.

"I am seeking the Scions of the Seventh Dawn," she pleaded. "Do you know where I could find them?"

Unbeknownst to her, the Scions had been accused of regicide only a day prior. The guard, a member of the Brass Blades, led her straight to a prison -- and only when he opened the cell door for her did she realize she was being arrested. All too late. They ignored her questions and pleas and that was it. Off the boat and into jail. She didn't understand what was happening. It felt like a nightmare. It was a nightmare.

It was only later that night, when even her terrified weeping had subsided, that a voice addressed her from the next cell over. Lalanna had never seen a Viera before, but then again, she hadn't seen very many Roegadyn or Lalafell, either, until she had boarded the ship taking her to Eorzea. She would talk to a plant if it spoke to her nicely enough at this rate.

She wasn't sure why Ben'aan had asked her what had happened to her. Curiosity? Sympathy? Boredom? He himself had been locked up by the Brass Blades for a few weeks, or so he claimed, due to being falsely accused of being a spy for the Garlean Empire. Lalanna knew better than to trust a stranger at his word, but she was so distraught and he was the only one willing to listen to her. She told him everything, including the Echo she wished to dismiss and her search for the Scions of the Seventh Dawn.

And for whatever reason -- she thought, at the time, it was just to escape -- Ben'aan offered to help her find the Scions, in exchange for her assistance in getting out of this prison. She had no reason to refuse, and soon, they were running out of Ul'dah with the Brass Blades hot on their heels. Eventually, though, they lost them.

Ben'aan had heard that the Scions had been accused of regicide, but that their headquarters lay in the small town of Vesper Bay. Upon arriving, however, Lalanna was horrified to find their supposed headquarters abandoned. Nothing but an empty warehouse, now. She had collapsed, all but consumed by her hopelessness -- but Ben'aan was not deterred. He insisted they leave for the Black Shroud, if only to avoid the Brass Blades' influence. Listless and with nowhere else to go (and no gil to her name to try and return home), Lalanna agreed.

Over the course of the next few months, the two of them picked up odd jobs around Gridania and its surrounding villages, keeping their ears open for word about the Scions and earning just enough gil to survive. Ben'aan even taught her how to defend herself, sharing the his own dual-blade fighting style with her. Through this, and the time they spent together overall, they grew close. It wasn't very difficult at all for Lalanna to begin to harbor romantic feelings for him, but it was hard to gauge his reciprocity. Still, she was content enough for now just to have a companion. After all, he had no reason to stay by her side now that he was free from the Brass Blades. Surely he liked her, at least to some extent, to stay by her side.

And then news arrived of the Scions once more: that the Scions' own Warrior of Light had began to bridge the gap between the Eorzean Alliance and the withdrawn city-state of Ishgard, and even helped to end the centuries-long Dragonsong War. Soon after, there were whispers of the Scions' new headquarters being located in the Rising Stones in Mor Dhona.

She recalled Ben'aan's initial hesitance when she proposed they seek them out, but he agreed so quickly she didn't pay it any mind. Perhaps, she thought privately, he was reluctant to change the familiar life they had settled into together. Regardless, they made it to Mor Dhona the same day that a forebooding orb had appeared in the sky, not unlike the story of Dalamund. Upon arriving at the Seventh Heaven Bar, she began to second guess her decision to seek them out -- but Ben'aan had encouraged her to go.

"This is something you need to do yourself, Lalanna," he urged. "I'll find us a room at the inn in the meantime. Come find me when you're done."

He took the gil they shared and left, presumably to pay for their rooms, and she steeled her nerves before making her way inside.

Fortunately, she had found the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. Krile, in particular, had been a member of the Students of Baldesion and knew of the Auri girl that had been sent to seek Minfilia's guidance. But with this comfort came a new slew of revelations: the Echo could not be removed, nor silenced, and the Scions could do little but nurture the ability she had never wanted.

Distressed, Lalanna excused herself from the Rising Stones to find Ben'aan, only to learn that there wasn't a proper inn at this particular town. Puzzled, she searched the settlement, only to learn that the guards just outside the town had seen Ben'aan leave on a chocobo cart to some unknown destination an hour ago.

After all that time, he had left without so much as a goodbye. Again, she found herself lost and with no one to turn to. No one but the Scions, who fortunately were kind enough to take her in. Of course, she was inconsolable at first -- she curled up in the bed assigned to her in Dawn's respite and lay there, listless and overwhelmed for nearly an entire day. Eventually, however, a fellow Scion was sent in to try and get her to eat -- a fellow Au Ra, this one with dark green scales she had never seen before, carrying a tray and flanked by five curious little fairies.

Their name was Beetle Bleisyl. They had been one of the few arcanists in the Scions' employ when the Bloody Banquet had occurred, and had been doing their part to help find the Scions that had been lost during that time. They were also quite the little oddball, although Lalanna immediately felt a camaraderie with them upon meeting. Almost as though they had always meant to be friends.

With Beetle and Krile's support, Lalanna found the strength within herself to embrace her new life as a Scion. She finally had a chance to write her parents in Thavnair, assuring them that she was finally safe and working with her gift after nearly a year of no contact. She met the other Scions, including the Warrior of Light, albeit briefly, just before they departed for Gyr Abania.

In the meantime, she, Beetle, and a few other newer members of the Scions were tasked with culling the unruly monsters in Eorzea haunting local dungeons. Although it was frightening at first, it helped build her confidence as a fighter and as a person in general.

A few days into embracing her new role, she came across a stray kitten in Quarrymill, and immediately adopted her, naming her Butternut for the golden-tabby pattern of her fur. She would later get her own chocobo, too, and name it Puddles...because he liked to have accidents when he was excited.

Despite not having as much life or adventuring experience as others, Lalanna eventually became the unofficial leader of her team for how she took charge and looked after others. While not a prominent frontliner compared to the Warrior of Light's closest companions, she and her group stepped up while the events unfolded on the First. Lalanna and Beetle even assisted Tataru and Krile in recruiting Estinien Varlineau, and subsequent missions to eliminate Black Rose chemical plants.

Despite her shaky beginnings, Lalanna quickly grew into a competent adventurer and ally of the Warrior of Light. Still, she couldn't quite let go what had happened with Ben'aan. She vowed to find him one day and learn his reasons for leaving her behind herself.

[ryxmas]

for the wol think thonkers, 4, 8, 11, 18, 24, 27! i know its been a minute so i can link you the post again if you need it lol

4. What do they do in their down time? Do they have any hobbies outside of Primal-slaying and world-saving? Are these lifelong hobbies or recent interests?

The main thing is that Solara's a tinkerer! Before he came to Eorzea, he was working under (and eventually became) a Goldsmith in Kugane. It’s something he picked up when he was in his teens after seeing these items at Reunion from a foreign merchant that no one was interested in buying. So some of his downtime in ARR was spent with the Goldsmith's guild. Some of it translated well to machinery which he also found himself drawn to, especially after his time with the Skysteel Manufactory. A lot of his ARR and HW and early StB post patch was spent learning from and working with the Ironworks and Skysteel Manufactory. Which contributes to why those groups know him better than the Scions for most of the story. When shit really hits the fan and he doesn’t have the time to work with either the Ironworks or the Manufactory, he puts that creative energy towards his own weapons. Making and repairing stuff is how he eventually connects with the rest of the Crystarium. So some of the Crystalline Mean quests are canon since he does that during his recovery period in post ShB. And I imagine that he becomes a bit of an omnicrafter (sans Alchemist and Culinarian) over the game's timeline. I haven’t decided how post EW looks for him in terms of hobbies though. And I gotta think about some other smaller scale hobbies he might have lol. 

8. What is one of their biggest regrets? Has it had an effect on how they act moving forward, for better or worse?

Choosing just one of his biggest regrets is hard so here’s some back to back lol. There’s several that are kind of in the same ballpark. His behavior to the Scions during Shadowbringers are pretty up there (and more so the latter). And he works towards making amends throughout Shadowbringers post patch and Endwalker. Not quite as high of a regret are his interactions with Hien. He doesn’t regret interfering with Hien’s plans in Stormblood in the slightest, but he does know he took it a lot further than he reasonably should have, which is what he feels bad about specifically. And those two have a bumpier road to reconciliation. I've yet to explore how or if Solara's Myste would manifest (if they do) regarding his guilt over the people he could not save and the people whose lives he unintentionally negatively affected. And among his regrets competing for the top spot are Haurchefant and Ysayle's deaths. He didn't get to know some of the others (e.g. Minfilia, Papalymo, and Moenbryda) to have massive regrets over them, but Haurchefant and Ysayle were some of his closest friends during that point in time. And because Solara only becomes a tank after Heavensward, I think it would make sense if he picked up tanking specifically because of Haurchefant and Ysayle (both of whom are tanks) dying. But these events (and honestly Ishgard as a whole) feeds into his general distrust of city state leaders when he knows they’re hiding things, which affects his perception of and behavior towards Hien and the Exarch later down the line. And I want to say that especially after Ysayle dies is when Solara becomes a lot more hesitant to connect with new people in his life, at least until ShB post patch. 

11. Despite everything, is it still you? Has the core of who they are as a person remained true through everything, or have they been changed by what they've experienced and learned, for better or worse? 

No. Solara has pretty solidly changed on two major facets (and Shadowbringers was his "get torn down and rebuilt from the rubble" arc). The first is that events of the story wore away the ambition that he had before he came to Eorzea. And the way his initial dream of “I want to Khan and Khagan” became such a shitfest that he’s very averse to both ideas now. I need to figure out how long Solara is Khagan because the Naadam is a yearly event. While he doesn't want to, for the sake of being involved in the politics of the region, he might continue to participate until some time in Endwalker/Endwalker post patch where he decides to stop being involved in the Naadam (because I HC that each expansion is roughly one year). And even after EW, I think Solara is a bit aimless now that there isn’t a giant existential crisis. He’s picked up the pieces of his interpersonal life and has made a lot of repairs, but hasn’t really figured out what he wants for himself. The other is that Solara becomes a lot more selfless and heroic as a result of everything. This is a “The mask becomes him” situation where there was a lot of heroism that Solara did early on that grated against him because he thought that’s what he should do in his position (and what he thought his brother would do) and not necessarily what he wanted to do. But it slowly does just become the way he naturally thinks and sees things. Like I imagine early Solara to have thought processes similar to ARR Alphi, he just didn’t act on them because he’s just more aware of how to handle people and that behavior doesn’t suit the WoL image he was trying to craft. And I also have to give a lot of credit to the twins for inspiring him in this regard, especially Alphinaud because Solara sees so much of himself in Alphinaud that there’s a level of “Alphinaud grew and learned and succeeded in a way Solara wished he did”. And that’s not a tone of envy, but of deep admiration and beaming pride. 

18. How do they feel about the work they do? As the Warrior of Light they're tasked with quite a lot of violence, is it something that comes naturally to them or do they resist it? Are they merciless, do they try to spare as many lives as they can, or do they fall somewhere in between?

The first part of this question is already loaded, damn LOL. But I don't think Solara likes being the WoL. He'd really rather it wasn't him, but this is what the situation is and he has to deal with it. He likes helping people, or perhaps more accurately he's grown to liking it. He likes that he's making a difference. But he wishes at the end of the day, it didn't end up all falling to him. 

As for the questions regarding violence, I honestly think Solara's indifferent to it. To a large extent, violence has always been a part of Solara's life or at least hanging over him as a specter. From his mother taking him to flee the Garlean occupation of Doma, to growing up on the Steppes and losing his adoptive brother during a Naadam, to even the fact that his heritage from Doma is that of being bodyguards to the royal family. He just takes it as a fact of life and in a fucked up way, it comes naturally to him when he’s in a situation that calls for it. He isn't going out of his way to take lives, but he isn't making an effort to spare people (unless told to). Not including extreme cases like Zenos, (so mostly talking about foot soldiers on the opposite side of the battlefield here) it makes little difference to him if he takes someone out by killing them or knocking them out. With some exceptions I can think of being parts of StB (e.g. anything on the Steppes and also he might be more careful to not kill soldiers that might be conscripted from the nations he's trying to help free) and fighting tempered after they find a cure. 

24. How do they feel about Hydaelyn? What was their perception of the Mothercrystal in the beginning, and how did that change by the end, if at all?

I haven't put too much thought into Solara's belief system to be honest, or if he's even a religious person. I don't know if it makes sense for him to pay any mind to Hydaelyn until the initial calls though. And the initial calls from Hydaelyn and awakening the Echo were pretty distressing to him. And he's always had a buried fear that he might actually be tempered somehow due to Ifrit's comment back in ARR and the uncertain nature of the Echo. This fear only gets exacerbated during ShB. And also after shit hits the fan during late ARR post patch with Moenbryda dying because he doesn't have the Blessing of Light at that moment and then Minfilia disappears and becomes the Word of the Mother, Solara has a largely negative opinion of Hydaelyn for most of the story. And then Hydaelyn remains silent, which doesn’t help the situation. But contextualizing this over what he learns in Endwalker and thinking about Hydaelyn in the context of Venat makes everything click for him. He likes, trusts, and understands Venat. He retains complicated feelings over everything, but he doesn't have an explicitly negative opinion anymore. Because Venat the Ancient who chose what she thought was the best possible action in a slew of only terrible choices is a lot more easy to accept and forgive than Hydaelyn the faceless, unacting, Mothercrystal who intervened once to keep her weapon alive but not any of his allies. Hydaelyn made Solara feel like a tool and a puppet and Venat made him feel like a friend and accomplice, which made all the difference. 

27. How well known are they? Does everyone know their name as the Warrior of Light, or have they managed to maintain some level of anonymity? Do they prefer it that way, and do they have any struggles resulting from it? (Getting stopped on street corners VS awkwardly avoiding questions.)

Solara being a max height Au Ra is just going to get noticed lol. Especially since there aren't many of them outside of the Eastern regions, which are the regions he's most often in anyways lol. I don't think he can go anywhere after Stormblood, and especially after Endwalker, without being noticed. So it's probably an “everyone knows his name” situation, especially in the East because he was a political figure there for some time. He does wish he retained some anonymity but people generally leave him be. His resting bitch face is canon and deters a good number of people off. And also his (self) destructive behavior during Stormblood post patch was pretty public and also scared many people off. It's one of those situations where the people that do talk and interact with him (which are often children) say he's nice and friendly (late Stormblood post patch excluded) and everyone else is like ??????

[chysgoda]

(@driftward) Ship meme, for Art’imis...

Aymeric. I am curious about how that dynamic would shake out.

Or Yugiri. What's that shape in the mirror.

Aymeric

Bel laid on her stomach reading the book uncle Artoriel had given her. Her mother sat on the bed next to her and stared at the wardrobe. Bel craned her head back to see how her mother’s lips pulled into a thin line and her eyebrows scrunched into the patch of ivory scales at the center of her forehead. Bel twitched her purple tail to the side to lay it alongside her mother’s sender ivory one. The young miqo’te girl placed the ribbon bookmark and closed her book. “He’s not like Ilberd.”

Art’imis expelled a breath somewhere between a huff and a laugh. “No, he’s not.”

Bel scowled when she noticed that her mom was picking at the scales on the back of her hands. She wriggled to get her knees under her and knelt up. She grasped one of her mom’s hands and pulled it towards her so that Art’imis couldn’t keep picking at herself. The paladin stared down at the hand Bel had claimed for a moment and then blew out a breath. She kissed the crown of Bel’s head and then rubbed the side of her horn against her daughter’s cheek.

They let the silence settle, soft and still between them. Eventually Art’imis sighed, “Well I know that you like him.”

“Mom!” Bel drew out the vowel into a whine, “I was ten!”

“Sorry darling,” Art’imis laughed and threw her arm around Bel’s shoulders, “seriously though, What do you think?”

Bel fussed with the end of her tail until her mother laid a hand over hers. “I think he’s kind. He never chuckles with the other nobles to keep face when someone makes a joke”- Bel raised her hands to make air quotes so aggressive she almost threw Art’imis’s arm off her shoulders - “about your scales or my ears. I know he can’t go with you when you have to be the Warrior Of Light, but he’d understand it and what it does to you.”

Art’imis hummed in thought and rested her chin on Bel’s head until the thirteen year old wriggled to get her to move. “Help me pick something out to wear?”

“Only if you never bring up that crush again.”

“Hmmmmmm, no promises.”

“Mom!!”

(The only person that doesn’t drag Bel about her school girl crush on Aymeric is Aymeric.)

Aymeric probably would have been who I shipped Art with ultimately except for one problem, I find Aymeric really really hard to write. Like to a stupid extent and I’m not sure why. On a character level though I think he would be patient and compassionate enough to wait for and help Art deal with her trauma (and Bel’s trauma) regarding the relationship with Ilberd. (Because I was evidently the only person who did NOT see that coming and I have inflicted that on Art’imis) Art was seriously messed up after the bloody banquet and it took her until 5.1 to get her feet back under her so she could trust a relationship again. With Aymeric I’d have to poke at it to get a feel for if that process would have sped up with him in a more romantically inclined role than a platonic one. As a couple I can see them working fairly well together. I can also see Edmont playing matchmaker just a bit because then he knows at least two of his kids are in a stable relationship. Also Aymeric as Bel’s adopted dad would be hilarious and adorable.

And now have some AU photos where Art’imis de Borel takes her husband to see the home of the twelve. (She’s pretty sure that there won’t be any trials while they’re there. Mostly sure. Well reasonably sure… okay she told him to bring the damn bow for a reason)

And here in particular she points out how you can see the tower that SOMEONE used to drag the scions to the first.

[horizon-verizon]

re: Laena and Daemon’s treatment of her. 

I think the fandom tends to shift the blame for Laena, Baela and Rhaena being neglected onto Daemon instead of the writers/showrunners. 

In their quest to make him as irredeemable as possible, the writers severed him from his positive relationships with non-Rhaenyra people. This negatively impacted his relationship with his Black wife and Black daughters.

The writers are quite possibly racist and anti-Black. We see it in the treatment of Mysaria, Laena, Baela and Rhaena.

However, the blame does not rest solely on them, the fandom is also racist, and they enjoy their fantasies about Laena and how she’s a Black seductress/Jezebel, who could not steal him away from his great white love.

They constantly champion the Driftmark scene where Daemon ignores his bruised, bleeding daughters and only moves when he sees Rhaenyra might be in danger, as a sign that Rhaenyra is the only woman he will ever love. 

Response to this post.

I agree. I'll say something else about a thing I said: about HotD making the Velaryons/their scions Black and even though I do think canon!Daemon had a more passionate regard for canon!Rhaenyra is more than the canon! Laena, it is very true that many white or non-Black ASoIaF fans tend to disregard the dragon twins from just their names and shift it onto Jaehaerys and Jaehaera OR full out calling them "monkeys" and delighting in fantasies of their mistreatment or abuse. Ironic because it still has a different flavor to the fantasies of Rhaenyra's sons dying horrible painful deaths.

Then you may have art leaving them out of what was called "family" portrait as if the twins are not blood-related to Rhaenyra as her first cousins and to-be wives of her sons, and would-be mothers to her grandkids. Stepchildren who she raised alongside Daemon and helped develop into the young girls and women they eventually become, thus are her kids.

And to leave it at how the canon relationship may "support" the idea that LaenaxDaemon was an inferior relationship to Daemyra can effectively encourage racism against show!Laena. Because we already 1) face people mixing canon and show lore, cherry-picking facts, etc., 2) some events and how they went down aren't messed up too much in the show, HotD, and the original stories still yield a collective significance, and meaning to viewers of both book readers and show-only watchers. We're never going to get out of this rut until every person is as dedicated to reading the stories as much as a book reader, pondering for hours about characterizations and implications of some monarchial declarations and actions in the world.

*EDIT (forgot to add this)* Yeah show!Laena is black/PoC unlike canon, but I think that it is not her becoming black and then continuing with the Velaryon-suffering already in the original story (thus making as if there was racism when it is supposedly just the writers overlooking the optics once race is changed). We shouldn't pretend that the show!Velaryons have the exact same treatment or events happen to them in the same ways as in canon.

The writers did make some changes regarding how the Velaryones acted and the events surrounding them:

Laena gets that self-immolating treatment (a common wife-riddance social tool in some cultures' literature and actual history) when dragon riders actually don't die often in fire nor is that even a desired death by anyone in canon. It's simply a flashier way to go and to provoke watchers while giving more pain to an already dying, lonely woman (as she wasn't surrounded by loved ones like in canon, and in Driftmark her childhood and ancestral home).

Laenor got punched up by a Kingsuard while becoming the next Prince Consort of a ruling Queen, and yet doesn't recompense through Criston's exile or death.

Laenor loses his lover to a nonsensically-allowed outburst of rage from Colon in the midst of his engagement feast. In canon, Choler kills Joffrey in what could be reasonably excused, at least, during a melee, where anyone could get killed in a competitive fury. Thus Cholera escaped death and punishment that way.

And then some scenes they should have included. One is Laena bonding with Vhagar in her preteens, which would have provided its own significance being contrasted against Aemond's bonding moment with Vhagar. We get a clue that she used sailing rope to climb onto the dragon's back, but we do not see scenes of her getting to this point using her wits. We do not know how she avoided her caretakers to visit Vhagar or maybe how Rhaenys guided her into approaching Vhagar and teaching her commands or such. (We do not know how she processed possibly being married to a 30+ man, how the Velaryons broached that with her, either, and with Aemma's unnecessarily violent birth scene that centers Viserys' emotions more, this part especially reveals the writers' lack of concern for female character's development as they should writing a woman's story.) Laena's bonding with Vhagar contextualizes and makes real the visible mourning the show makes Vhagar have AND works to show why & how she came to be so loved by Rhaenyra and Daemon on her own merit.

Removing Laena from their lives or subduing that bond really just reduces the emotionality of all three characters, the bonds they had with each other, remove the reason why Rhaenyra announced that her sons would marry Laena's daughters and makes it seem more about politics than a blend of that and genuine love (thus a loss in complexity that is pretty inherent to these characters' family lives)

Which is very much a change. A downgrade and misunderstanding of the canon. The Dance was a war incited by many moments where the respective sides grew more and more suspicious of each other from domestic issues and misogyny-- "small" events of pointed insults or court-group censure, hidden meetings for plots, etc. and then there would be what we had with Laena, Rhaenyra, and Daemon where the life they had for a short while nonetheless created a stronger base not just for rhaenyra but all her kids. why wouldn't we want to see how the blacks/rhaenyra and Daemon's "blended" family operate and how each kid developed over the years to anticipate how they would act during the war itself? (Esp for the non-book readers coming into this story for the first time). *END OF EDIT*

[jasleh]

FFxivWrite2023 Prompt 5: Barbarous

character: Rrahna (indirectly) time period: post-6.4/Pandaemonium

...

Claudien managed to spend some days blissfully unaware of the rumors swirling around him and Rrahna. Absorbed as he was in his work, he had no time for such things, and the relative isolation of Apora helped as well. Eventually they came to roost, however, in the form of an unwelcome visitor.

He was studying some schematics and working his way through an astonishingly dense paper when the interruption came. Rrahna had dug them up somehow and pressed them upon him rather forcefully, as they were regarding a device designed to block the effects of auracite. The device itself was also in his possession. For all that she was quick to declare her lack of learning, Rrahna had picked up a remarkable number of things in her adventurers. She was also less than thrilled at his decision to study the Heart of Sabik.

"Claudien, my good man! What have you been up to?"

Claudien blinked, trying with limited success to pull his head from the nest of jargon he had been immersed in. Looking up, he saw a vaguely familiar elezen man, with his research assistants gesturing apologetically behind him. It took a few moments to place him. Someone he'd gone to school with? Yes, that was it. Not someone he'd ever been especially close to, or in much contact with since then - and just now school felt longer ago than the Sundering itself.

"Hello, ah… Fir….?"

"Firmien. Took me a while to track you down, but I simply had to stop by, you would not believe what people are saying!"

Claudien did not at all think about the fact that he had been seen twice now having dinner with the Warrior of Light at the Last Stand, but instead immediately thought that the Pandaemonium reports must have somehow circulated far more widely than he had expected. Ascians, after all, were far more common knowledge in Sharlayan than elsewhere on the star.

"… I might."

"So it's true then? I mean, even seeing you with my own eyes last evening I didn't fully believe it. Of course, before then I didn't even realize it was you people were speaking of."

Last evening? Claudien felt lost for a moment as his framework for the conversation began to shift. Last evening he had been…

"Honestly, man. The Scion's so-called 'champion?' What were you thinking? She's some… some barbarian who has never met a problem she didn't solve with violence. Those war-like types are all the same."

As the man prattled on, not allowing a word in edgewise, Claudien's brows drew down and his hands began to curl into fists, but he managed to keep a tight hold on his temper.

"And those scars! How can you even look at her? Honestly, if you ask me she barely even counts as a person."

And just like that, his tether snapped. Or Erichthonios's did, if such a line could even be drawn. A sputtering glow sprang up around his fists, a spell so well-practiced as to be reflex, but that he didn't begin to have the aether to cast.

"Not to devalue her contribution, of course. I suppose even mindless violence must sometimes have-"

The fool's words cut off abruptly as Claudien's fist met his face with a crunch of breaking nose. It was remarkably cathartic seeing him get knocked on his ass.

"Get out."

"How dare you?!" The words were distorted by the broken nose and the hand Firmein held to it, but understandable. "She's clearly rubbed off on you! You're as barbarous as her now."

"Get. Out."

Ruissenaud hoisted the man to his feet and began urging him towards the door. Claudien glared at him until he was out of sight, ignoring the sputtered threats of censure. Only after Firmein was gone did he begin to relax and notice the glow flickering around his hands. Not near formed enough to have shape, but he knew the channels the aether was trying to follow. Not a spell of this age. Or one that would have been particularly useful, really.

"Professor?" Nemjiji spoke up hesitantly. "That may not have been a good idea."

"And if he drags me before the Forum," Claudien asked, "Who do you think the majority would side with if I repeated what he just said?" Attitudes in Sharlayan could be slow to change, but the Forum had gotten a closer view than most of Rrahna's efforts to stop the Final Days, and had backed the Scions' efforts.

Nemjiji thought about it for a moment, cocking her head. "You may have a point."

"It was worth it regardless. If any other gawkers or gossips come by, I'm not here. I have work to do."

[emetkoto]

what's the emetkoto time loop au? i wanna hear your ideas about it!

I AM SO VERY GLAD YOU ASKED!!!!!!! its a fun little idea ive been kicking around in my head for a long time now on and off that drives me insane :) long story short its basically what it sounds like! after the dying gasp k'oto goes to bed.....and wakes up several days/weeks earlier :) everything goes the same way and then. it happens again! and again! and again!

long story LONG ofc eventually K'oto picks up on what's happening, it cant just be a weird recurring nightmare this has really been happening and its wearing him down bc uh, duh he's literally failed to save and had to kill his soulmate repeatedly now!! so he starts trying to change things...do things differently say things differently try to push for a different ending but unknown to him is that emet-selch is also aware of what they've found themselves trapped in and while k'oto believes that emet is the one who needs to be saved to break the loop, emet believes the opposite that its K'OTO who is the one who needs to be freed and thus he's reluctant to work with k'oto and keeps forcing bad ends bc he believes so strongly that hes right...they try just about everything except for any sort of ending where emet selch concedes and recognizing hes wrong bc that just cant be right ofc not!! eventually thought theyre both so tired and upset that emet selch cant keep up his "i dont know whats going on youre insane" act and they get into it a bit and hes blaming k'oto for not being cooperative and letting him kelp them both out of this completely ignoring all the times they DID try the ending emet selch thought was right that still caused a new loop and k'oto has to Call him a hypocrite like 'we have tried literally everything EXCEPT MY WAY why are you making this so DIFFICULT!!!! let me SAVE YOU PLEASE!!!!' and begs him like full on tears and exhaustion BEGGING because he jsut wants it to be over so they can be happy and emet gives in and they try things his way and it works because of course it does :,)

the thought ive had about how it all works lately is like. dynamis combined with the massive amount of aether at play during the dying gasp and k'otos feelings of wanting a better ending, another chance to make it right all coming together into some kind of forbidden magic being unknowingly casted...recurring thought of some sort of hourglass holding their souls and controlling the loop putting them and everyone else linked to them and the whole situation (so basically just the scions and anyone else they talked to in the few weeks that keep looping..also due to the dynamis-y nature of the magic emet selch is unable to break the spell or figure out how it works until way later) into sort of a stasis-y pocket dimension-y thing...their conflict makes things start to break down and by the end its like they need to figure this out or they and everyone else will basically die...yeah mostly i just keep thinking about a dramatic amv esque shot of them embracing as they make the decision to trust each other and go around one more time to make it right at last and the hourglass shattering as theyre freed. im normal

[witchofthescions]

It had been a while since they'd last seen little Ga Bu. It broke Erna's heart to see the poor kobold still so unresponsive, even as she picked him up and cradled him like the child he was. He leaned against her, but she couldn't tell if he was responding to her touch or if it was simply the influence of physics.

Alisaie watched her as she stroked the tiny child's back. He was smaller than the adults they were used to, but in Erna's arms he looked even smaller. Even more fragile.

They heard the rain falling on the ground behind them, just outside the entrance to the Maelstrom's headquarters. Other adventurers came and went, occasionally sparing the trio a curious glance, but otherwise giving them their space. It was its own sort of loneliness.

"You know," Alisaie said, "with the three of us like this, does it not remind you of that night? Of the stars beyond count, twinkling in the heavens?"

Erna cast a glance towards the overcast sky, raising an eyebrow. Alisaie followed her gaze and let out an awkward chuckle.

"Well, obviously it's not exactly like that night. The time of day and the weather are not exactly cooperative right now."

Alisaie fell quiet for another moment, as the two of them watched the rain falling outside.

"I was feeling pretty low back then," she quietly continued. "Powerless. But I knew that my brother was close by if I needed him. And that the others would be waiting for me back at the Rising Stones."

"Not like now," the two of them muttered. Alisaie's eyes widened as she turned to Erna. She was at just the right angle to see the pensive look on her friend's face. To see her exhaustion as she stared out into the rain.

Seeing the woman she looked up to so... defeated was difficult for Alisaie to bear.

"Eh? What's with the long faces?"

The two of them turned to see a Roegadyn woman with tanned skin and well-muscled arms approaching them. She had long red hair tied up in a bun, and dirty overalls that had seen their fair share of wear and tear. Her second most striking feature was her mismatched eyes—one red, one gold. Her most striking feature was how strongly her daughter Ernastral resembled her.

"Ma!" Erna exclaimed, looking genuinely surprised to see her. Her mother grinned back, before snatching Erna's hat right off her head and affectionately ruffling her short hair. "Wh-hey! Cut that out!"

"What, suddenly yer too grown for yer dear ol' ma?" Erna pouted until her mother placed her hat back on her head. "Yeah, alright, yer too tall for that. But that's the only thing protectin' ya now."

Erna stuck her tongue out at her mother, prompting a suppressed giggle from Alisaie. Her mother grinned, looking proud of her handiwork.

"Now, what's got y'all lookin' so down?"

The girls exchanged a look, before Alisaie decided to launch into an explanation of recent events. She focused mostly on the Scions; a simple farm woman like her wouldn't be too interested in global goings-on in far-flung locations, after all. She listened intently, gaze drifting between the two girls, until Alisaie finished.

"...Struck down all at once, huh?" she remarked softly. "No wonder y'all looked so down."

She placed a hand on Erna's shoulder, and another on top of Alisaie's head. For a moment Alisaie rankled at the gesture, feeling a bit patronized. Until the woman spoke again.

"But you've still got each other, don'tcha?"

The girls' eyes widened. Erna's mother smiled at them both.

"And y'all still have the rest of the Scions, right? It's a big organization, if'n I recall correctly."

"It is," Alisaie said, smiling a little. "And we've many friends and allies besides."

"Good," she nodded decisively. "Remember: it ain't over 'til it's over. Even if it takes a while to see any progress, even if today looks pretty bleak." She nodded towards the rain outside. "It may be rainin' right now, but it'll pass eventually. Just need yourselves an umbrella or two."

"Thanks, ma."

Erna's mother smiled at her, then turned serious for a moment. "By the way, y'all have an umbrella on ya, right?"

"Uh..."

Judging from the expressions on both of their faces, and the lingering dampness of their clothes, the answer was a resounding no. Erna's mother gave them both the sort of disappointed look that only a mother could give.

"Girls..."

"We'll... pick one up at the market later," Alisaie sheepishly promised.

"You'd better!" She ruffled Alisaie's hair with the same level of affection as she'd done for Erna. "Last thing yer friends're gonna want to see when they wake up is you two sick in bed 'cause you went runnin' through the rain without any sorta cover!"

"Lenar would never let me hear the end of it," Erna remarked.

"Neither would Y'shtola," Alisaie said. "Gods, I can just imagine the disappointed look on her face..."

"She ain't even a mother and she's got that look down pat."

The actual mother present burst out laughing. "Oh, I've got to see that! So you'd better hurry up and help yer friends."

"We will," Alisaie said, grinning again. "We absolutely will."

[plenary-indulgence]

picked up my yuyuhase alt again recently, my friends wanted to do eden and i also took him to the all lalafell nier raids on siren last week to get him a proper nier glam (which every lalafell needs imo) so i guess it’s about time to put him through endwalker lol

my wol!yuyuhase timeline thus far:

pre-ARR is just his canon backstory. grew up a beggar on the streets of ul’dah (and an orphan too i think) and bootstrapped himself into a successful porter business until he got fucked over and lost everything then flew down the aetheryte guard -> brass blades -> immortal flames -> lolorito’s inside guy pipeline ARR echo/blessing nonsense starts up in earnest and most everyone with half a brain is like “oh don’t mind crazy ol’ yuyuhase” but being the enterprising and clever little bastard he is he’s like “ohhhhh there’s got to be a way for me to make some gil off of this” and basically takes up a fortune telling side hustle on the down low 1) because you can’t just go shouting from the rooftops that you’re suddenly psychic you’ll get thrown in jail or worse 2) the key to any successful business is building a core base of wealthy and reliable clients, not any riffraff off the street with 20 gil who just wants to be told all their dreams will come true 3) the immortal flames do not appreciate their recruits moonlighting and this is technically his side-side-gig after his original side-gig of “whatever lolorito tells him to do on the sly”

so he’s pretty discreet about it but is managing to make a pretty sizable little nest egg once knowledge of what he can actually do starts spreading through the upper class but the streets of ul’dah do not keep secrets well and so eventually rumors about a “queer lalafell who can really see the future tell you your fortune for a fee” get back to thancred and he susses yuyuhase out and is like “hey hey hey let’s have a quick chat about all this then” and determines it’s the echo and tells him about the scions and minfilia and says he should come to the waking sands to which yuyuhase basically tells him to go fuck himself. he’s got a good thing going here, he’s got plenty of his own irons in the fire, plates spinning, so on and so forth, why should he care about petty naive do-gooder nonsense like saving the realm? bunch of spoiled sharlayan bookworms can sod right off as far as he’s concerned.

and thancred is like ughhh ok this guy sucks but i can’t just go fuck myself on this one i gotta just get him in a room with minfilia somehow. so he uses his connections and pulls some strings, goes to the higher ups in the flames and says “hey so im doing this investigation in drybone and i need a bodyguard, i want you to assign me this guy as an escort” and they’re like “haha ok good luck have fun” and at first yuyuhase is like “ah fuck not this prick again” but ultimately he’s getting paid now and he’s on assignment so what does he really care. might as well just get it over with. which he does, and things proceed, and ifrit is slain and suddenly he’s a big damn hero and then a lightbulb goes off because like, of course it all makes perfect sense now. he’s special all of a sudden, and he’s in very high demand, and things that are in high demand can fetch exorbitant prices. so he does go back to the waking sands with thancred and let’s minfilia give him the whole spiel and listens very politely and when she’s done he hands her an invoice and is like “that’s for ifrit, my fees are non-negotiable, if you want me to save eorzea or whatever, you can pay for me to do it.” and now the rest of the scions too are like “oh yea this guy sucks” but minfilia sees a little glimmer, a little something there and she’s like “alright :)”

and tataru of course hates him. the rest of ARR proceeds basically as usual but every time he pray returns to the waking sands with another invoice she sits him down and tries to renegotiate his fees and every time he shuts her down like “nice try kid haha payment terms are net 30 as usual i’ll see you around” his relationship to the rest of the scions varies:

- he and yshtola don’t interact much, they obviously have nothing in common and are polite coworkers at best. they will probably never be close and that’s fine with both of them - thancred and yuyuhase got off on sort of the wrong foot and had a very mutual “hey this guy sucks” attitude at first but they sort of grow on each other. there’s a mutual respect for two guys who game from the same shitty background and “get out”. they aren’t besties or anything but they get each other - yuyuhase is not impressed by urianger at all. not by the stupid way he talks (which he thinks is affected deliberately to make him sound smarter) or by his shady “do wrong for the right reasons schtick” like man you just like to lie. own it. you aren’t fooling anyone. - he thinks minfilia is like insanely naive but she’s also young and clearly a good kid who means well (sucks for her) and from the MEAN STREETS OF UL’DAH like him so he does feel a little bit of solidarity. the whole “organization to save eorzea from itself” stings a little less coming from someone like her. - he doesn’t mind yda actually. she’s a lot of fun. - ok before we talk about papalymo let me just preface this by saying IT WAS JUST A JOKE, i was DOING A BIT and then i was like wait hang on this is actually ticking a lot of boxes for me. and now it doesn’t matter how stupid it is because it’s real to me HEAR ME OUT

- so similar but so different!! 2 blonde 40+ lalafell with attitudes but from two totally different walks of life. a scruffy street rat from ul’dah and a pampered sharlayan scholar... - i can make him better vs i can make him worse. papalymo is a steady, guiding presence that will literally scold yuyuhase into being a better person and yuyuhase is juuuust unhinged enough to keep papalymo interested and drag him out of his comfort zone - i think papalymo would actually be quite charmed by yuyuhase’s dry wit and pragmatism. conversely, yuyuhase would have a lot of fun riling up papalymo to get a reaction.

- sam and diane dynamic basically

so as ARR goes on they get closer and closer and there’s push and pull will they or won’t they so on and so forth and it’s a THING but it’s also NOT a thing because they’re both so stubborn and refuse to admit they’re actually into “that smug bastard/that arrogant scold”

sidenote: probably about halfway through ARR, just before titan he goes to lolorito and puts in his resignation as shady errand guy because being the champion of eorzea is now basically a full time job and he’s making soo much gil and really doesn’t need to be doing lackey work anymore. and of course lolorito is not happy about it because yuyuhase was actually only getting more and more useful to him but what could be done about it? what indeed...

post-ARR so life is pretty good by now he’s rolling in gil, he’s the champion of eorzea, savior of the realm (titles he’s not super duper sold on but it’s great from a marketing perspective so whatever) and alphinaud comes in with his crystal braves idea. now, yuyuhase HATES alphinaud, and i feel like he’s pretty justified in that. like, from his perspective he’s someone who grew up in the worst conditions, has seen the poverty and experienced the misery firsthand - you can say what you want about him being a bad person but you can’t deny yuyuhase is someone who is very familar with reality - and here’s this literal child from overseas, who has never been hungry or cold or known any danger in his life - spoiled and arrogant and he’s comes in here basically saying “i’m going to fix all your problems it’s going to be so easy i know better than you helpless eorzeans” and it’s not really all that different a tune then the one the empire sings and it’s just so patronizing and infuriating because even though 90% of his brain at this point is dedicated to the accumulation of wealth and power there’s still 10% that has dignity. so that’s where there’s a little more canon divergence; he really goes off on alphinaud and refuses to join the braves and washes his hands of the whole endeavor. which frees him up to be the perfect scapegoat with the rest of the scions to take the fall for the “assassination” of nanamo, and that works out so nicely for lororito because like, if his former goon wasn’t working for him anymore he doesn’t want him working for anyone, and this gets him out of the picture. adds a nice bit of color to the scheme i think.

HW: anyway still stupid rich and powerful but now a fugitive on suspicion of high treason and murdering the sultana (as we know he’s not necessarily opposed to a little bit of treason as a treat but he’s real sore about this because he’s taking the fall for something he didn’t even DO) and off to ishgard, where it is very cold, with two of his least favorite people in the entire world by his side.

this is a low point for wol!yuyuhase because he’s cold all the time and hates snow and does not give a fuck about ishgard or the dragonsong war and oh also, papalymo - probably the only person who he’s managed to build a genuine connection with - is missing presumed dead. it’s bad, he’s miserable, probably more than a little depressed and for the first time is really starting to question who/what he actually is and what he’s even doing. but now there’s a bunch of wealthy ishgardian’s willing to supplement the income he lost when the scions exploded so he stays on his grind; ends the war, unseats the theocracy, bills time and a half, trips alphinaud into snowbanks whenever he can and then pulls the most innocent and angelic “who, me?” face which is always a small light in the otherwise dark winter of his journey. this is also the time when, at a low point, he is finally defeated by tataru, who is really starting to come into her own and is like “ok listen i’m not your client i’m your AGENT and actually you need to be giving me a cut on every job :)” and that settles that matter.

post-HW: finally reunited with papalymo, and their time apart has made them both realize there are GENUINE and UNRESOLVED feelings between them that NEED TO BE ADDRESSED except you know papalymo then like immediately fucking throws himself at a primal and dies lmao.

STB: these are the bad times. i think up until this point yuyuhase was starting to grow and improve as a person but papalymo’s death sends him spiraling right back to square one and, if anything, only hardens his belief that the only thing that matters in this life is wealth and power and looking out for yourself. this is the second time he’s allowed himself to hope otherwise and the second time that he’s (in his mind) been punished for it. well, not again no way! fool him once, shame on you, fool him twice shame on HIM. a harsh lesson twice learned 40 years in the making. all that being said, lyse is basically his last connection to papalymo and his last wish had sort of been that she walk her path. and there’s plenty of profit in revolution for someone who’s shrewd enough to take advantage. i think yuyuhase is a person who has basically always had hardship at his back and as a survival method simply refuses to engage with his actual feelings and instead pushes forward. because what else can you do? it’s something i don’t think someone who hasn’t experienced it can understand but when you’re TRULY hungry you don’t sit there and wallow in your hunger, you do whatever you have to to ensure that you never go hungry again. that is to say, he’s in a lot of pain but instead of letting himself heal he just cuts a huge swathe of destruction across the continent and liberates two nations and makes an assload of gil. at this point he’s probably actually in the top 1% wealthiest people in eorzea, but he’s still not happy, and he’s still hungry, and that hole in him still hasn’t been filled up so that must mean he just hasn’t gotten wealthy enough yet. he hasn’t gotten powerful enough yet. more gil, more strength - he just needs to get a bit more and then all the bad will finally go away.

the actual plot stuff in stormblood is all secondary to his internal struggles; like ishgard he doesn’t actually give a fuck about ala mhigo or doma but that’s the path lyse is walking and the one he’s following her down getting paid all the way. zenos beating his ass is noteworthy - it reinforces that yuyuhase is still not top dog, there’s still someone who has power over him. there’s no thrill in it for him, he just wants zenos down.

post-STB: more politics he doesn’t care about. he’s kind of getting to the end of his tether here. maybe a fresh perspective, or a change in scenery will help?

SHB: but not like that!! ohh he was soo pissed off when g’raha dragged him to the first. didn’t want any part of it. but really at this point he’s so worn down eventually he just starts marking up his invoices (billed to the exarch and the crystarium of course) 200% for out-of-area service and goes with it. they start pumping him full of light and it’s just like “well this is definitely corrupt but in general yuyuhase is already a corrupt person so how much worse can it even get it’s probably fine” he’s really kind of enchanted by eulmore and vauthry (much to the horror of the rest of the scions) but to him that seems like a logical conclusion to everything. who wouldn’t want to live out their days in luxury - no struggles, no grindset, just everything you could ever want, always? towards the end, he really considers just giving up and retiring there to die but dulia-chai of all people sits him down and sets him straight like, “well yes of course it’s a lovely sort-of-life. we never want for anything material. always safe, always warm, always fed. but there’s really nothing there. it’s just as empty as it is full my dear. and there are so many people who want better than that for you.” and she had no way of knowing about papalymo but that’s who he thought of and it sort of started to snap him out of this 2 xpac long downward spiral. ryne absolutely adores him even though he’s kind of like that weird uncle who is probably harmless but still a bad influence so your parents don’t want you hanging out with him. she’s convinced he’s actually a good person deep down and it’s possible she’s not wrong? but you’d have to go like, real deep. emet-selch also finds him kind of fascinating, this selfish little bastard and at one point asks him “how much would it cost me to to have you fuck off and leave us to it (rejoinings) and yuyuhase’s response was pretty much “don’t worry about it you couldn’t afford it” the implication of course being that he does in fact have a price and can be bought for even the worst of intentions but it’s also possible the number in his head is so absurdly high that that amount of material wealth may not even exist. hmmm!! definitely don’t need to read any more into that or what that means!! post-SHB: here is where he’s currently at. he’s been very clear that he’s going to start billing the scions again for all this work getting their souls back to the source and NO tataru does NOT get her cut this time this was ALL HIM. i’m going to be soooo annoying with gpose once i get him to aitiascope lmaooo

[tiredassmage]

Is your OC honest about their true loyalties? Or are they happy to feign belief in a cause or leader in hopes of material (or other) reward?

Cannot emphasize enough that the heraldry theme for oc asks is so cool. Thanks for the ask! I've been... absent from my XIV characters for so long dskfnsl, let me see about making it up a bit to them lol. I still have a handful of them, so I'll pick two for now. ^.^

Shay would paint himself as "mercenary" in its truest form, willing to take a job for coin regardless. "Honest" isn't the first descriptor I'd pick for him - not because he's a habitual vocal liar, but more that he just... isn't talkative. He's the stubborn type that might give you the impression that whatever is going on behind those harsh violet eyes is between him and Halone alone and he'd at least feign to like it that way.

Now, Shay would be willing to cross some lines for loyalties and those people he does pledge himself to, but he's honest to them in that it's rather unlikely anyone would be able to sway him from a selected path. He surely isn't always the warmest, but his genuine loyalty cannot be bought and sold. He'd absolutely tell nobility or representatives or... whomever, really, to royally stuff it if he didn't care for their opinions. He doesn't care who you are. xD

Bas is below the cut to keep this readable. <3

Bas isn't happy about it, but survival has seen him mask his true loyalties before. Bas was conscripted from Dalmascan resistance efforts into the Garlean army - one of only a few that ultimately survived both the failed defensive and the following interrogations. Ultimately, he struggled to maintain the reasoning that dying was a poor way to honor and remember the fallen, so, though it pained him, he became a weapon of the Empire.

After his escape, "mercenary" is a fair enough title for his work until he joined the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, but Bas was meticulous about the type of work he was willing to put himself and fellow traveler Peregrine (@fatewalker-phoenix) on. Things are... complicated by his accompaniment in masking her Garlean heritage.

In short, Bas is careful about picking his battles. But he is not free of struggling with where his honest intent truly lies. There's quite a bit of strife reconciling his troubled and mistrusting past with the Garlean Empire and his eventual friendship and loyal protection of Peregrine. But all who have stood at his side or faced his blade have found, to whatever end it may be, Bas is loyal to the last breath. He will not give you his word unless he means it.