#He had questions I could not answer

[bloodyarn]

anonymous sent

The smut peddler has brought in a new book, it is titled The Legend of Jizzt Dong'Urden: the Diphallic Drow

   𝚂𝚖𝚞𝚝 𝙿𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝙰𝚗𝚘𝚗 .   unprompted interactions

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     Ah, so it was a repeat offender.     Already acknowledging the book   —   a good portion larger than the last   —   she nodded, waving them goodbye, probably delivering some copies to the other companions next. Would this one cause as much turmoil as the one from last week   ?   A shudder ran down her back, remembering the various embarrassing moments between herself  &  her friends.

So glad nobody was in sight (yet), the seamstress lowered herself down to her tent's blanket on the ground, beginning to read. Diphallic. What a strange word. Maybe an illness.

 . . .

   [ . . . ]   Oh deary.

That woman was invested, unfortunately so. All the smut peddler ever brought were some cheap, quick romance novels meant to read by adults. Nothing so catching, nothing that kept her hooked like this. She winced when her eyes swept over the clumsy soup scene. Then, closing the book, placing a tiny flower between pages   —   She better continued later. With a glass of wine.

What was obvious by now   —   The Legend of Jizzt Dong'Urden had a new fan. She should definitely tell Crabby about this. He loves fighting scenes, Babette heard.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Is Michael Afton gay or European in FNAF?…

[lokimobius]

LOKI S01E02 “The Variant”

[sunlight-shunlight]

it's sad that they made varric so... bad at arguing in veilguard, HGDSJGS. bc he nearly won this debate already in inquisition, without even knowing the context!

give this guy 10 years to come up with a speech, and it still might not convince solas or save him from getting killed, but it should at least be less silly than just going "solas, your rebellion was very cringe fail, and it was dumb of you to have sealed the evanuris and stopped the blight the first time. stop doing things 🙄"

[golyadkin]

Something something living with your mistakes Something something period of adjustment

[yardsards]

i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[kameyyy]

jeans guy can see himself out

[numberonetacostan]

Hi gang just went through hell and back:P Might i request some...i dunno if you've ever heard of this ship before...but...some tacomic? Such a peculiar rare pair, i know./j

Hi Moldy!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in an ask!! :) I'm sorry something bad happened to you!! <3 <3 I hope you can feel better soon!!

Ask and you shall receive, tacomic headcanons!

I like to think that post-s2 finale/season 4-ish time (maybe) when Taco ends every social interaction looking up at Mic with big sparkly eyes to ask if she did a good job or not, there are times when they end up in a 'why' loop as parents and toddlers are prone to do. ex: "Taco, that's rude." "Why?" "Because you shouldn't say things like that to people!" "Why?" "Because it might hurt their feelings" "Why?". It's just as genuine as when a toddler does it as well, Taco genuinely doesn't understand and wants to know why, but the concepts can be so basic and implicit for most people that they can be quite hard to explain.

Another for around that same time- Taco really only likes to share with Mic. She'll share with other people if Mic makes her, but she only wants to share with Mic. Like if Taco happened to have some bedding that didn't get erased since she'd made it herself? She'd share it with Mic, of course. If there was enough for another contestants or two to use, and they asked? Immediate no. And then Mic will tell Taco she should share, to which Taco is confused because she is sharing. With Mic. She's not happy she has to share with other people too, especially people she doesn't like or even care about either way (I tend to think of her as valuing people she makes a relationship with so so so much more than other people. Yeah they probably hate her too, but she does not give one shit about like, Salt or Bomb. She never really talked to them she doesn't gaf. What matters is that she hates herself and Pickle hates her. I'll give points for the rest of the menu squad as well.).

Taco opens things for Mic. Constantly. I like to think of Mic as being pretty strong, all things considered, and Taco as well despite her small stature, but Taco has her claws and fangs. So if there's a crisp bag that Mic can't quite get? A stubborn water bottle? A pack of scissors that require scissors to open? Taco will decimate whatever part of the packaging has the gall to trouble her beloved Microphone.

Gah! Fuck! What I was originally going to say here is too related to the next fic. Shit! Uhhhhh Mic's beautiful belief that Taco Will Not Hurt Her that we see when she steps in front of Taco's gun in s2 ep14? I like to think it also translates into the belief that Taco will protect her. If Mic has a nightmare she can and will get as close to Taco as possible because she has full faith that Taco would tear anything that threatens her apart. If she is a spider she will call for Taco. If they're watching a horror movie she will squeeze Taco on her lap the entire time.

Taco has accidentally scratched Mic before. She accidentally scratches things relatively often, when she doesn't have her gloves on. She's very used to having them on, yeah? Rarely takes them off. So when they are off, mostly when they're being washed I suppose, things get scratched. Bedding can get shredded, holes in carpets, dents in wood furniture, there isn't much that Taco's claws can't hurt. And Mic has very much been nicked before. Taco feels very, very bad every time!! Mic just puts a bandage over it and goes on about her day while Taco follows her and gives her little presents and cups of tea because she feels so very bad. Usually it ends in them cuddling once Taco has her gloves back so she can feel better and know that Mic still loves her.

[thegracefulwillow]

Pandora Hearts Month day 20: Pocketwatch

@i-prefer-the-term-antihero

[thatfriendlyanon]

i think part of my problem is i lived with my best friend for two years of my life and have been searching for the same feeling of joy & acceptance & support ever since

[mctreeleth]

Given the decline of Google results thanks to AI, it's only a matter of time until that old Telstra ad poisons the dataset enough that it spits out a result saying that the Great Wall of China was built to keep the rabbits out, and we will have come full circle.

[iamumbra195]

If the Graveyard kids were demigods, which Greek god would they be the child of? (Riodanverse AU)

For Ashlyn, I believe she would just be another of Apollo's kids, keeping to herself most of the time. Nobody really paid her any mind because out of the dozens of Apollo kids, there wasn't anything particularly remarkable about her. She wasn't the Head Counsellor or anything. She liked it that way. Ashlyn discovered she was a demigod when she was young and spent two full years at the camp to fully prepare for living as a demigod in the mortal world before becoming a summer-only kid. Her sensitivity to sound is one of the strange abilities she inherited but isn't fully able to control, which is why she wears enchanted earplugs that keep sounds at a more tolerable level. Beyond that, she was a pretty average Apollo kid. She was good at the basics like Archery and Music but not beyond that of a normal Apollo kid. The only thing that really stood out was her dancing. It was her special interest, incorporating it into her daily life as a demi-god as often as she could. Her fighting style was based on ballet in canon and she preferred fighting with her legs over her hands--even going as far as putting a weapon in her shoes so she could still use her legs to attack. So she is an average demigod overall. Until one day she discovers that she was one of the few to inherit Apollo's nosokinesis, the ability to create and control diseases (like her ability to open rifts and trap people in them in canon). There's also the fact that her name literally means 'dream' or 'vision', so considering the fact that Apollo is literally the god of prophecy, I think being a child of Apollo fits her very well.

For Logan, I feel that for a long time, he would just be another unclaimed kid. He didn't know anything about his real parents and his grandparents were always super cagey about it until he was older and got attacked by a monster and they finally took him to the camp. He still doesn't know who his biological mother was. Then one day after being pushed too far by bullies, he snapped just like in canon, and was claimed by Ares, the god of war. Much to his and Barron's (another child of Ares) dismay because what the fuck do you mean this dickhead is my half-brother?! He had initially believed that his parent was related to his love for space and astronomy or maybe even his intelligence and love for math but Ares?!

For Aiden, I think being a child of Hermes suits him best. I've done some tests and got answers like Ares or the Big Three, which I don't think those really fit him. But for some reason, I like the idea that he has the favour of/is a legacy of Hades or Hecate from his dad's side while being completely unaware of it until much later (the unexplained connection his dad has to Maverick). Children of Hermes tend to be more hyperactive than other demigods and are often referred to as a jack of all trades and I think those things really suit Aiden. When he was younger, his parents sent him to camp year round in hopes that it would help him and he came back with dyed blond hair, red eye contacts and a reckless streak a mile wide.

For Ben, I believe that this kid is and always will be a child of Apollo. His deep love and talent for singing and music, his rage and hurt at having this taken away from him. His knack for medicine despite only having experience through taking care of Aiden. He only discovered he was a demigod after his voice was destroyed so he never learned that he could heal people with his voice/singing until one of the others, maybe Taylor, were fatally injured and he had no supplies to save them so as one last attempt to comfort them, he breaks his years of silence and sings for them. To his complete astonishment, they started healing and were able to stay alive long enough to get the medical help they needed. He felt pressued to sing and use his voice after that because it could heal people but Aiden or one of the others nipped that in the bud and told him he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to. The idea of him also having premonitions when something bad is going to happen is cool, especially if it's the reason why he ends up catching little details the others fail to notice (a little nod to Canvas Ben for being so goddamn observant). His relationship with Aiden is also cute because children of Apollo and children of Hermes tend to get along, although not all of them do (Aiden and Ashlyn lol).

For Taylor and Tyler, I believe the twins would be children of Hephaestus. In some cultures, identical twins are treated as one entity/soul that was separated into two people and the same could be said about the Hernandez twins in this AU. Although they are different people with different interests and goals, that is how they are perceived as mortals. On the divine side of things, however, they are seen as a single soul split into two. That's why their connection goes far beyond that of regular mortal twins. Their abilities also reflect this. Taylor is a brilliant craftswoman and has a way with technology that separates her from the rest. She's also extremely fire-resistant, which proves to be useful considering her brother has the ability to manipulate fire. Tyler, on the other hand, has the basic skills needed to be a mechanic due to growing up with Taylor but it isn't instinctive in the same it is for Taylor. He is one of the few children of Hephaestus to have pyrokinesis, something he had to learn to master on his own because there wasn't anyone to teach him. They complete each other.

Although Aiden and Ashlyn spent a year or two in the camp, their paths never crossed and they were just another faceless person in the crowd of campers until they officially met when Ben and Aiden began to go to her high school in her sophomore year. Aiden clocked her as a demigod as soon as they met at the bus and was excited to meet another one of them outside of camp. He was also curious to know if she figured out what she was yet and if not, he could protect her from monsters and lead her to camp! Ashlyn recognized both Aiden and Ben as demigods but preferred to avoid mixing her mortal life with her mythological one so she avoided Aiden's needling to the best of her ability. When Ben finally told Aiden that she was another child of Apollo at camp, Aiden doubled down on the pestering which irritated Ashlyn beyond belief. Unfortunately for her, this wasn't the last she was going to see of him.

Mid-way through the first semester, Ashlyn received a prophecy from the Oracle stating that she and five others were to go on a quest. It was a shock to her and everyone in the camp because she was pretty unremarkable yet she was the one that had to go on the quest? It was ridiculously vague beyond the fact that she specifically had to go to Savannah with a group of five others. So she had to pick five other members for her team.

Nearly everyone tried to volunteer and because Ashlyn didn't particularly care who went along, names were drawn out of a bowl. With her luck, Aiden and Ben's names were both drawn out of the bowl, along with the Hernandez twins and Logan. She wasn't particularly happy with those chosen but she supposed it could be worse. Especially when she considered the fact she could've been going with him.

Barron was throwing a fit about how an unclaimed coward like Logan couldn't have possibly been picked but Tyler told him that no one would even want to go on a quest with him considering the only thing he cared about was glory and honour for himself.

And so, the six of them packed their things and started their journey to Savannah, Georgia where it all went to hell.

[not-poignant]

Assumption: You have never ridden a horse.

Oooo, this is a fun one, salkfjas

I have! I've ridden more than one horse, more than once.

(Actual storytime) (This is from the Assumptions meme!)

In late highschool and in the few years after I had a close friend who owned a horse (Billy) and agisted him, and was responsible for him. She basically was allowed to get him when she got her driver's license.

I was the kind of friend (and still kind of am, energy willing) that you could drag around to all your chores and I'd just be there. So I'd be there when she went shopping. I would be there when she went to get horse food. I would be there when she did homework. I would be there when she went to visit her horse and brush him down and feed him etc.

I helped with basic chores and watched from the sidelines and mostly hung out with her dog, Huskee, who was not a husky, but a borderline collie x corgi who barked nonstop at that horse, who she alas, could not herd.

Through this friend I actually learned about Natural Horsemanship, to the point where I actually went to a couple of Pat Parelli seminars (run by Pat) in like 2000/2001. It was the thing that really sparked my interest in animal training, especially humane, fear free animal training (and clicker training specifically, since Pat was teaching marker training at the time, and said friend started using it on their dog, Huskee).

I never rode, for a long time, because I was happy on the sidelines, and also I went there so my friend could ride her horse, not so I could like, steal her horse out from under her lol. I don't think her horse liked me very much anyway (later I'd find out that was pretty much true, it was a zero respect relationship, maybe he knew I was a doormat lmao).

Anyway, said friend had another friend who was extremely horse intense, and she got her own horse (Coda) , that she then never really took the time to ride. Coda was kind of nuts. Billy was the kind of horse who walked so slow you felt like you were going backwards, Coda had one speed: gallop. Coda and Billy got on great.

But Coda was pretty neglected, and so I often spent time with him while my friend did her chores with Billy. I was used to bringing out food, or changing water etc. so I did that for Coda sometimes. And after a while, friend was like 'it would be cool if we could trail ride together, how about you learn on Billy first since he's so slow and sedate.' And friend was like 'I'll ride Coda because I have more experience.' This made sense! She wanted me to stay safe!! But...

Billy was slow, sedate, and did not give a shit about me. This is a horse that stepped on my feet (on purpose), who deliberately angled towards low-hanging branches to scrape me off the saddle (hilarious, but also not really), and made it clear how much he wasn't interested in anyone else riding him in the most passive aggressive way a horse possibly can.

Coda, on the other hand, had a reputation for being wild and unstable. He'd tossed multiple riders more than once, hadn't been trained with Natural Horsemanship (like...kind of? But not really) and was not halter-broke by the time friend-of-friend got him, so just getting him to accept a halter and a saddle at all was huge, and anything beyond that was like 'welp, good luck.'

However, it was obvious trying to do anything with me and Billy was not going to work out. So...Coda it was.

And idk how to explain it, but Coda and I just got along. It was on the other hand terrifying, because his default movement was 'canter' and all he wanted to do, all he wanted to do, was gallop up and down granite hills as quickly as possible and spook at fucking everything. It wasn't his fault, he wasn't taken out much and he had that kind of personality. He once saw a kangaroo in the distance and spun a full 360 degrees, and I ended up half off him, hanging on for dear life, while friend just stared at me and said: 'how did you not fall off, that was insane. You might actually be good at this.'

Well. No, I wasn't, I just had a good grip, lmao.

So we went on extremely stressful trail rides together. Billy thankfully curbed some of Coda's GOTTA GO FAST instincts but only to a point, so I had to be pretty hypervigilant nonstop because that dude bunched his hindquarters what felt like every ten seconds, and I can't really blame him, it's what he loved to do most. He was just a terrible horse to learn to ride on, lmao, even if we did get along.

I haven't ridden since and honestly haven't felt much of an inclination to. I'd be too heavy now anyway. And I'm pretty certain I'd be bad at it. When your first experience is 'placid horse who generally accepts everyone but stares at you in a desultory manner and makes sure you know - while feeding him / brushing him / watering him etc. - that you do not matter in the grand scheme of things' followed by 'I like you! NOW I WILL FLING MYSELF DOWN THIS GRANITE HILL WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WE ARE ALL SCREAMING IN EXCITEMENT AND NOT FEAR' you think 'actually I don't need to ride the murder ponies, it's fine.'

Anyway, yeah, I have ridden a horse.

[softredrobin]

a decades-later redux, or "if i had a nickel for every half-alien-government-experiment that had a breakdown about their chaos energy possibly hurting their older sibling, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice"

[quizlythenerd]

villain epic as portal 2 GLaDOS and villain cross as wheatley. they’re making me so ILL [very positive]