#He gets therapy eventually because his mom forced him into it

[emolgabrine]

Something Hibiki tells young trainers in the future is to try not to work too hard. If someone his using work as a coping mechanism for grief, he recommends a therapist or a healthier coping mechanism.

He's accepted in the future that he won't be able to save everyone, but he still does what he can because he cares.

And while his survivor's guilt can get in the way sometimes, he's learned to deal with it in ways that don't hurt him anymore.

His dad would be proud of him :)

[nevertheless-moving]

Considering the amount of emotional and moral nuance he managed to muster up immediately post Guanyin temple (despite having a terrible week and zero good role models) AND considering his front row seat to the dissection of Jiang Wanyin and Wei Wuxian’s downfall, I think that in a time travel fix-it, Jin Ling would actually be pretty successful at brute forcing yunmeng family therapy.

I mean he'd probably cry, but even that would be good! Because 1) modeling negative male emotions beside anger, and 2) Oh shit that’s shije’s kid we made Shije’s son cry, fuck, fuck! Bam! Instant high ground! Also he has the most authority of any second gen character by virtue of the fact that he could pull “DO YOU WANT MY MOM TO DIE??? BECAUSE YOU TWO ACTING LIKE MORONS IS WHAT GOT MY MOM KILLED! NOW SIT DOWN AND SPIT OUT ALL YOUR FUCKING SECRETS OR MY MOM WILL DIE AND I’LL BREAK YOUR LEGS!!” It would work! Tell me it wouldn't work!

Not to mention once he gets a few sect leader years under his belt, he might be the best person to manage a fix-it, in general. He's got perspective. He's got political training. Others might get too caught up on the specifics of the Wen remnants or the Ying Tiger Tally or Vengeance against One Person or Another — Jin Ling is critiquing the basic structure of how Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are living their lives and he's getting away with it.

He would even be good at dealing with Jin Guangyao, the slipperiest motherfucker in the timeline. Jin Ling's got as good a handle as anyone on his motivations, and he has sincere (if messy) affection for him, which would hit Guangyao right in his weak spot. Depending on your headcanons it may or may not be in vain, but he's got a real chance of getting the man to set some more modest and less destructive life goals.

Similarly, I think he'd do a pretty decent job at a harsh-but-fair critique of Xichen's neutrality and Mingue's rigidity and Huissang's delibrate uselessness, though getting them to listen would be more of a crapshoot.

All of this makes it especially funny how badly he would handle Wangxian.

For context: Wei Ying and Hunguang-jun are not just the gayest people Jin Ling has ever met, they are the gayest people he's ever HEARD of.

He wouldn't want to bring it up. He wouldn't mean to. He doesn't want to talk about it. But when he inevitably calls Wei Ying a slur only to be met with genuine bafflement? Jin Ling would completely lose his shit.

Because I don't think Wei Ying is going to get offended, or defensive, or have a response that his nephew could coherently mock. Wei Wuxian thinks 'hey these time traveling guys are actually pretty funny!' Him and Whom? Not even a serious topic of contention. You got me for a second, haha.

Jin Ling would break. Wei Ying eventually says something the effect of "I'm straight? Obviously?" and Jin Ling would nod once, start screaming, then climb across the table to strangle him.

It's — look. How do you fucking explain that all of the worst moments of your life were, in someway or another, characterized by Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanjii being FLAMBOYANTLY into one another.

The man who saved his life also killed his father and Jin Ling stabs him but it feels awful and — ok Lan Wanjii is cradling Wei Wuxian tenderly. Ok they're just going to go. They're leaving like that. Hunguang Jun was — is — was the Yiling Patriarch's widow, so that's another layer to add onto everything else. Hunguang-Jun is visibly expressing emotions with his face and voice and Jin Ling is going to go throw up now

Jin Ling's kidnapped at the burial mounds and everyone’s lost their spiritual energy and all his friends and family are going to die and — those two are smiling at eachother. They're telling inside jokes. They're holding hands.

Jin disciples (his own clans disciples) just shot at him and and Xiao-shushu really is what people sa— WEI YING SHOUTS ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK LAN WANJII

THEY ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF BEING KIDNAPPED AND HE DOES THIS

Jujiu is bleeding from the stomach and crying he's bleeding and crying his jujiu is doing that and Xiao-shushu caused it and his whole life is a lie and Hunguang Jun and the Yiling Patriarch are visibly groping in a corner.

And then they never stop groping again. Forever.

So yeah, I'm quite confident that if Jin Ling had to be even peripherally involved with coaching Wei Wuxian through a bisexual awakening and homoerotic courtship, he would explode. He would black out with rage. He'd make an honest and embarrassingly unsuccessful attempt at killing Lan Zhan. He would walk into a lotus pond and stay there until he drowned. He'd start heavy drinking. He'd punch a random passerby in the dick.

In conclusion, Need More Jin Ling Time Travel Fics

[mamirhodessxox]

Daddy Dearest <3

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Girl dad!Leon x Mom!Reader

Blue for Leon pink for reader & purple for D/N

Desc: Despite his career path Leon has been developing pretty well to his girl dad life & revolves entirely around world around his wife & sweet little angel babygirl

Tags: Tooth Aching fluff, Dilf Leon, No smut ‼️‼️‼️, Just dad Leon living his dream! No use of y/n, D/n stands for Daughters Name

I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) Votes and comments are strongly appreciated!!!

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Leon Loving his life was an understatement, He was a miserable guy not so long ago but it all changed once he met you & had his very first child! Of course after first he was worried about being a deadbeat father, but eventually he suited up and prepared for everything was to come, dropped his drinking habits, went to therapy for most of his trauma from working on the most messed up cases world wide known to mankind & even baby proofing the entire house you two shared for over 4 years.

He even went out of his way to take random target trips with you during your pregnancy to stare at nursery furniture and random trinkets and toys he found, holding up gender neutral baby clothing before knowing the gender & asking “you think this is cute sweetheart?” It was amazing how he became so obsessed with the thought of having his own little family with a white piket fence & beautiful front lawn garden (He started gardening as a coping mechanism which would soon be one of his top hobbies he brought onto his daughter.)

During the gender reveal he was nothing but pure excitement and joy to have a little baby girl that the next day he even went back to target and came home to baby-proof the entire house, testing objects to see if they would fall on a random baby doll etc, so much so that you had to go downstairs at 12 am and force him to take a break and come to bed, “You don’t think she’ll hit her head on the table one day right? I really wouldn’t want my little princess to get hurt” “I think you need to put down the baby proofing tools for the night & actually come to bed hun, it’s almost 1 o’clock”

Some days you would be in pure anguish because D/N would be doing pure gymnastics in your belly that Leon had to ‘have a talk’ but most of the time during your pregnancy he was always talking to your tummy, Asking her to relax on the jumping around in there, Sometimes waking up super early in the morning to talk to your belly & sometimes waking you up & hearing you tell him off a little bit in a muffled voice since you were buried in your body pillow. “Hi babygirl, you excited to get outta there & see your new room? Yeah? Oh I know your excited angel but you can’t keep kicking mama like this sweetheart it hurts her!”, “Can’t keep jumpin’ around in mommy’s belly sweetness your driving her insane sweetheart” “oh yeah!?You excited babydoll?” “Good morning my sweet girl, I can’t wait to see you y’know, mommy & I are so excited to meet you & hold you & love yo-“ “Leon what the hell are you doing awake at 5:30??” “Uh oh I woke up mom” “leon I swear to god if you don’t go back to sleep.”

And then came along the arrival of his awaited babygirl, he was so excited he even set up a little mini red carpet infront of her nursery & stars next to the door & even putting a little sign on your guys’ front door in bold glittery pink ‘Welcome Home Princess D/N” He even brought a little camera to make a home tape for every memory he makes with you & your daughter so when she is finally old enough she can watch, this tape includes her birthing where your shouting & screams could be heard such as “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT LEON!!” “I’M GONNA KILL YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SLEEP!”& his light crying of when she was born

After your daughter was born it was extremely difficult for you two to set a fair sleep schedule so for the first few weeks Leon would wake up at 2:30 AM whenever D/N was crying on the baby monitor and move the rocking chair placed in her room right next to the crib “What’s the matter sweetness? Can’t sleep again? I know babygirl it must be so tough trying to get your little beauty sleep huh?” He would slip his hand through the little bars of the crib and smile giddily every time she would wrap her little hand around his thumb, growing up was the most difficult for him, he cried every-time his sweet angel took her first steps, said her first word which was obviously a strained “da-da” which was to be expected since D/N was a total daddy’s girl. most of the time when he was off he would let you go to work so he could spend his days with your guys’ daughter, take her to the petting zoo, a random aquarium where she discovered her favorite animal was a sea horse, Leon’s entire existence revolved around D/N to the point where if her little fist was directed at something she wanted he bought it, she starts crying? He jumps right up to take her off your hands so you can relax, his entire world was revolving around her & you loved to see it, sometimes when you got home from work you’d see Leon on the living room floor with your daughter as she babbled playing with a random stuffed animal monkey “Hi honey, Took her to the petting zoo today, we discovered she really loves monkeys”

Some mornings when you would all sit at the table eating before the day started Leon would watch her in her high chair chew on whatever she had in-front of her causing a small mess where he would chuckle & clean up after her “Your just one messy little girl huh princess? Gonna have to teach you manners now little lady.” And then came the day where she got her very first booboo, I’m sure you can imagine what happened, Little D/N was running around the backyard chasing a butterfly while you & Leon just finished harvesting this falls apples and then randomly you heard a tiny little wail behind you causing Leon to jump up from the ground and scoop up his baby girl “Baby she has a cut on her knee we need to take her to the hospital now! Get in the car!” “Honey I think she’s alright nothing a little rubbing alcohol & a band aid can’t fix.” When the two of you went inside and into the bathroom he sat on the edge of the bath tub and sat little D/N on his knee while you rubbed some alcohol on her knee which reasonably made her wail out more than she did beforehand causing Leon to start tearing up and kissing the top of her head “I know angel I know it hurts but we can’t let your lil’ booboo get worse & nasty now can we?” Once you finished that 1 minute of anguish you two sat in the living room holding her close as you slightly teased Leon for his light crying “You love making daddy cry now don’t you honey? You know you have him tied up around your little finger huh” You joked while Leon grunted while worryingly making sure she didn’t hurt herself again

One day you caught him in her room when she was around 4 years old having a little tea party, he was sat in a chair next to her that was far to tiny for him to fit in as he wore a pink tiara around his head that was again to tiny for him & a pink fluffy tutu around his waist while fake sipping tea from the tea cup while causing her to giggle, You had just gotten home from work & leaned against the doorway smiling and holding in a laugh but Leon smiled back and stood up and had the tiny chair stuck on his ass causing you & D/N to laugh obnoxiously especially after he eventually was able to pull it off and walk over to you mumbling “shut up.” Before kissing you lightly & asking how your day went. Obviously because of his career he had to miss some important events at school for D/N and he felt AWFUL. He cried in your arms one night after returning from a 1 week trip where he missed father daughter school day where he imagined his poor babygirl sitting at her table in kindergarten watching everyone else with their dad while she had a confused expression. And every single night after that for a month straight he would have little sleepovers in her room where he read her bedtime stories, you know that one 3 little kitties book from despicable me? He obviously read that to her with the brightest smile on his face and once it was time for bed her would sleep on the floor right next to her toddler bed “Goodnight babygirl, daddy loves you so so much y’know that? You got his heart right in your little fist”

By the time she was 10 he was always helping her with school projects & homework & even going to father daughter dances with her, if

D/N wanted something all she had to do was ask and bat her little lashes, some days when he went to go pick her up from school with you in the car he would see her talking to a boy before running off to the car leaving him with a puzzled face “who the hell is that little twerp near my daughter? She does know he is not good enough for her right?” “Nuh-uh Leon, Don’t start let her have friend alright?” “Sweetheart just look at the little shit! He’s practically blushing looking at her right now!” “Oh stop it.”

Just imagine what it would be like when D/N is finally a teenager and brings a boy home for the first time..Leon makes it VERY clear nobody is good enough for his little girl & never will be, he is the entire reason why her standards will be extremely high…

xtripleiiix’s Masterlist

🏷️ List: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert

[moonlightisdancing]

Trees/j.m.k

Pairing: au!Josh Kiszka x f!Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ therapy session discussing trauma, mentions (does no go in detail) ideations, running away, dissociation, kissing, mark leaving, humping, unprotected sex, overstimulation

as always, please lmk if any tags are missed!

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The first installment of Gretaween 2024 is here! Over the course of 8 days there will be works from other amazing creators added here!

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Please proceed with caution. This fic might be a lot for anyone struggling with suicidal ideations, those who struggle with dissociative thoughts, and even those who have experienced trauma at any point. There are no themes of SA implied or mentioned in this work, but themes of death, grief and the inability to grasp those concepts are.

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The cold weather couldn’t keep you from the woods. No amount of crunchy leaves stacked on the old mossy ground or mud puddles too big to walk around. Nothing. Nested deep in the woods resides a little cabin that you’d stumbled upon one day after school. It was a therapy day, you remember because you wore blue. Blue was for therapy days because therapy makes you sad, and blue is a sad color.

Fact, not opinion.

The little cabin in the woods made the blue days feel not so blue when the orange boy appeared.

When you first met, his hair was getting quite long, the loose waves bouncing around just under his ears. His hair wasn’t like that for long, he’d eventually get it cut, a neat mop of curls resting over his forehead. His voice got deeper, muscles got stronger, hair got curlier, but he still remained orange. Not physically, more so in the way he spoke and gestured. While not typically complimentary, he was the orange your blue needed, and you paired quite nicely.

In fact, the two of you paired so well that you never once bothered asking one another why they were in the woods that day. It felt right. Like all of the blue days led you here. The cabin is brown, physically, but feels yellow. Happy, warm, inviting. Outside the cabin is one giant tree, the tree you’d met Josh under. He was quiet at first, his breath being the only thing to give him away. Quiet didn’t last long, though. He’d grow to talk your ear off every chance he got, and you welcomed his words with open arms.

You hadn’t seen Josh in exactly one week. Something about needing to prepare something for you, a surprise if you will, and to meet him under the tree where you met him in seven days. So you waited impatiently for the longest, bluest seven days to pass without your complimentary person. It was surprising how unprescribed blue days could feel particularly blue. Blue was meant for therapy days. Dismal, a buzzing in your ears surrounding the thought of those grey walls, scratchy carpet and the chair that squeaks every time Dr. Tannis shifts his weight. That’s what blue was meant for, so you tried to fill the days with shades of orange and yellow that reminded you of Josh.

When the seven days were up, you found yourself barreling through the house after school, just to be stopped in your tracks by Mom.

“Honey, please don’t forget you said you’d take your sister trick-or-treating tonight.” Mom sighs as she releases her hold on your shoulders.

“But-”

“No ‘buts,’ Y/n.”

“But I have to go see Josh.” Your eyes widen at the name. You know better.

“Y/n…” Mom closes her eyes and tilts her head back. She was red, metaphorically. The heat and anger couldn’t be seen but it could be felt, and it was burning red.

“I’m sorry,” You sulk, your head falling between your shoulders.

“Please go get ready and make sure your sister is, too.” She tries forcing a smile across her lips, but the forced yellow couldn’t deceive red.

For the third consecutive year, you chose to be a vampire. The costumes were getting better, why choose a different thing when you could continue improving? You lean into the mirror, fanning your teeth to try and help the fangs stick. Your attention is directed elsewhere as you overhear Mom on the phone in the kitchen. Your eyes flutter shut as you hone in on her words, laced with blue-grey.

“She’s mentioning Josh again. I thought that had been discussed during her sessions.”

You don’t mean to listen, but if it weren’t meant to be heard, maybe she’d stop using speaker phone.

“It has been touched on, yes, but-”

“She is well past the age of imaginary friends, Dr. Tannis. Her entire life cannot evolve around the existence of someone who just… doesn’t exist.”

Doesn’t exist?

“Y/n, I think we need to backtrack just a little.” Dr. Tannis sighed as he sat down. He seemed to be paying more attention to the squeak, but the noise still left faint blue raspberry on your tongue.

“Well, Doc, I am an open book!” You leaned back in the chair as you popped a grape Jolly Rancher in your mouth.

“That is sort of the issue, Y/n. You’re not open about anything. We need to start working through what happened.” He clicked his pen before bringing his elbow to the desk and hand to his temple.

“I don’t remember. It’s like one day I was just riding my bike in the woods and everything turned black…”

“Is that physical or metaphorical?” Dr. Tannis raised an eyebrow. He might not understand the colors, but at least he tried.

“Physical black. And then the hospital and then I met you.”

“Do you blame yourself?” He looked up from his notepad, leaned back in the chair and crossed his legs.

“What?” Your heart began racing, on the brink of a panic attack. “B-blame myself for what?”

Were you supposed to blame yourself?

“The accident, Y/n. It’s common for a patient to blame themselves, especially if there’s no other explanation.”

“Uh- sometimes? I don’t know.” You squeezed your eyes shut trying to recall what happened. When you opened them, Dr. Tannis was scribbling on the notepad again. You caught some of what he jotted down, nonsense upon nonsense of how he thinks you feel.

“Why don’t we just move on? You’ve mentioned your hatred-”

“Distaste.” You corrected. Josh had changed that, you didn’t hate anything.

“Right, sorry, distaste for blue raspberry several times. Where does that come from? Can you remember when that started, Y/n?”

“I think it’s what the darkness tasted like. Kind of… metallic and cold.”

“Is the darkness where you created Josh? Could he be just a thought?”

God. You couldn’t have created Josh had your life depended on it. You’re not convinced a higher being could have either.

“W-created?! I didn’t create Josh! I met Josh! In real life!”

“Your mother’s mentioned never having met Josh. You’ve never attended school with him and you met after the… incident. Why do you think that is?”

“I already said-” Your words became very red, unlike you. You pressed your lips shut and took a deep breath before restarting. “He’s just not ready to meet new people yet.”

“Y/n, I think she’s worried about, well, if he’s real or not.”

“Mom’s crazy, Dr. Tannis. Of course Josh is real.” You swivel in the chair side to side, snapping Legos together as you sucked on another grape Jolly Rancher.

Finally, something where the taste matched the color.

”Does he exist here…” Dr. Tannis waved his arms around the room, “Or here?” He asked, tapping your temple. The chair squeaked as he leaned forward, causing you to wince. That damn squeak always tastes like sheet metal and a hint of wet dirt.

“Here!” You exclaimed, waving your hands around the room. “And if he didn’t, I’d do whatever it took to be wherever he was.”

“Y/n, as we know you’ve struggled in the past with… Ideations, we call them. I need to make sure that’s not the case.” His eyes grew worried as he tried studying you for answers.

“I wouldn’t do that.” You said pointedly. Your death would mean Josh no longer having someone there for him, alongside you not having him. That simply wouldn’t do. A deep sigh escapes your lips before you attempt to divert the conversation.

“I hug him every time I see him. We’ve… done some things… I know he’s real.”

“Done some-” His eyes widened, cheeks growing flush as the admission slipped your lips.

“Just kiss! We’ve only kissed.”

Dr. Tannis wore a furrowed brow and an expression that was almost eager for answers. Almost like he knew you were lying. You couldn’t, wouldn’t, tell him you and Josh had been having sex. That would have only caused more problems. The last thing you needed was more problems.

“And how did that make you feel, Y/n?” Dr. Tannis leaned forward in his chair, pressing his pen to the notepad.

“Purple and white.” You responded confidently. Purple and white, that’s how his lips felt against yours each time. His lips remind you of rose petals, the silky innocence of a flower and sweetness of nectar.

“Words, Y/n. I need… emotions, not colors.”

You hate that Dr. Tannis can’t understand you almost as much as you hate nobody believing Josh is real. You chose silence. There was no way to describe his honey coated, purple-white, rose petal lips in a way other than that. Dr. Tannis wasn’t necessarily accepting of the silence but knew he needed to utilize the rest of the time appropriately.

“Y/n, I think a-”

“Could you not use my name so much? It makes me all blue-grey.”

“Right, sorry.” Dr. Tannis clears his throat. “If he’s real, I think a conversation with Josh about meeting your mother would be good.”

“He is real.”

He’s real.

It’s not that you wanted to hide Josh. If you had it your way, you’d share his orange smile and warm embrace with anyone you knew. But he couldn’t go far. While neither of you disclosed how you ended up under that tree, Josh had opened up enough about his home for you to understand. Black and red. It was angry there, way worse than your blue.

You push yourself away from the mirror, holding back the tears that threaten your lash line.

“Not real.”

Who does she think she is?

Once Mom had learned about Josh, she began taking mental note of when you left and how long you were gone. You couldn’t sleep anyways, so you started sneaking out at night to see Josh at the cabin.

“Screw trick-or-treat.” You mumble to yourself as you grab your backpack, making way to your window. You scan over your room, a sense of blue-red and a tinge of black, washing over you. Semi-content with its look, you climb out of the window.

The ground is wet, mushy under your feet as you stomp through the tall, unkempt grass of the woods. The rain couldn’t keep you from Josh. Nothing could. Not trick-or-treat, not blue days or the squeaky chair, not the feeling of blue-black that washed over at the sight of certain things. No other color mattered when you knew orange would always be on the other side.

The rain turns to mist as you walk under the trees, the full moon peeking through just enough to wash the green in blue, physically. It’s silent outside of your feet squishing the wet ground and your backpack shuffling behind you, stuffed with handfuls of the candy Mom specifically said was for the trick-or-treaters. Josh likes Reese’s and BlowPops, so you saw no harm in bringing him some. Blue raspberry and cherry are his favorite. They were yours, too, but not until you tasted them on his rose petal lips. Blue raspberry reminds you of a memory you’ve never been quite able to recall, maybe that’s why therapy days were blue.

You shake your head at the thought of blue raspberry. Thinking of blue days and the squeaky chair would only ruin the orange. The cabin’s in sight and dimly lit, seemingly occupied. Unable to see him, you know he’s in there. You can feel his existence just beyond the trees.

You stand under the tree, back awkwardly against the thick, damp trunk so as to not crush the Reese’s and BlowPops. You run your hand over the carved initials in the bark, remembering the day you and Josh had placed it there. The first time you ever kissed him. The rain is slowly picking up again and you find yourself almost getting lost in the whispers of the wind against leaves.

Perhaps the wind works with the trees to tell us things, but we don’t hear. Maybe the wind doesn’t want to be heard, but rather it wants to be listened to.

Waiting begins to grow so boring you try to understand. Understand what the trees are saying. Understand what caused your original distaste for blue, both flavor and color. Every time you try to think, you find yourself unable to understand. You can never recall a time before the grey walls, scratchy carpets and squeaky chair. God how you hate that chair. It’s been years and yet he hasn’t gotten a new one.

Wait by the tree.

Wait by the tree.

Wait by the tree.

He’d specifically instructed you to meet him here, under the tree you met him years ago. Notoriously late, he wouldn’t be this late, making you lose hope. You start to deep breathe in attempts to avoid the orange becoming red. One foot slowly found its way in front of the other as you walked away from the lone standing tree into the sea of physical green. Just slow enough to keep waiting.

Waiting… Waiting…

“Wait!” His voice rang through the night time in a shade of yellow only he could embody, not the same as the cabin.

“Josh?” You turn to see him standing under the tree, leaning against the trunk. His chest is heaving as he fights for air.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought I had more time. They wouldn’t let me go.”

His parents. The definition of darkness personified. Every bad color couldn’t make them up. Black and red swirled and married in a nasty mixture was surely the reason he found solace in the cabin.

Even under the night sky he radiates orange. His rose petal, purple-white lips and beautiful brown doe eyes glisten in the moonlight. Breathtaking. Hauntingly beautiful. All of the good colors melted down like crayons to create him.

Josh doesn’t move, instead he stands and waits for your feet to make their way to him. Like a magnet, you’re drawn to him, wrapping yourself in his warmth almost as fast as it had appeared.

“Mm,” You hum into his chest, your fingers grasping the back of his sweater. “Smell so… so good…”

It wasn’t unusual that he smells good, but he does smell different. Like the summer sun beating down on a field of wildflowers, and hints of honeysuckle covered in morning dew. He smells earthy but in a way that’s good. You pull away from his chest and look up at his face.

“Fangs.” He nods and taps his fingernail against the fake tooth that sticks out from your lips.

“They’re kinda silly, aren’t they?” You bring your fingers to your mouth and pop the two fake fangs off of your teeth, discarding them into the front pocket of your hoodie.

“They were cute.” He frowns, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as he guides you a few feet to the cabin. “I missed you, like a lot.”

“You, sir,” You say, pressing your finger into his chest. “You’re the one who asked for seven days.”

“I know, I know. I just needed time to clean this place up. Make it special, ya know?” Josh opens the door to the cabin. It’s clean. For the longest time a thick coating of dust rested on every surface you had yet to touch, the impressions where the two of you would sit being the only clean spot. All of the physical grey is gone. The cabin feels more yellow now than it ever has before.

“Oh! I have something for you, too.” You smile and nod, pulling your backpack off your shoulders. Josh watches with a crooked head, his eyes narrowing. “Hold out your hands.” You instruct as you dig through your bag.

“Is it gonna bite?” He jokes.

“I hope not,” You reply, placing a handful of Reese’s and BlowPops into his large palm.

“Is this your way of telling me you want a kiss?” He teases, twirling a blue raspberry BlowPop between his fingers. You watch as he stuffs the other candy into his pocket before removing the wrapper on the BlowPop and pushing it past his rose petal lips. The only time blue looked and tasted good was when it was on his tongue.

It was no secret you’d thought about him in… that… way a handful of times before ever getting to be with him. Granted more so after the fact, and right now more than ever. The way his fingers felt against your lips earlier and watching his tongue work around the BlowPop did not make it better.

“Josh?” You whisper just loud enough for him to hear as you close the space between your bodies.

“Yes?”

So many things you want, need, to say evade you. So many pandora's boxes that you don’t want to open.

“I just missed you. Seven blue days was too long.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I missed you too, mamas.”

You wrap your arms around his torso once again, melting into his existence. You wish you could physically melt into him so you never had to be apart. Time away from him was always blue-black. You didn’t have to tell him that for him to know, he always knows what you’re thinking.

“I thought you were going trick-or-treating today.” Josh brings a hand up to cradle the back of your head, his fingers massaging your scalp. His voice echoes through his chest, deep and strong.

“S’posed to,” You mumble.

“Well, what happened? Talk to me.”

Mom doesn’t think you’re real.

Dr. Tannis doesn’t think you’re real.

Nobody thinks you're real so I ran away.

“I, uh, I guess I just missed you too much.”

“You know I can tell when you’re fibbing, right?” He pulls away, looking into your face as he tries reading you. He brings a hand to cradle your face, his thumb smoothing across your cheek. “It’s your favorite holiday.”

“I hate when you do that.” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest. The softer he gets, the more willing you are to spill your guts, he knew that.

“Well I hate when you do that. Don’t put the walls up, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“What are you, my therapist?”

“I can be. I think talking to someone who understands you would be more beneficial than Mr. Squeaky Chair.” Josh guides you over to lay on the old couch, the only piece of furniture that existed in the cabin yet you always sat on the floor.

“Aren’t we too old for this?” You choke out.

“Too old for what?”

“This. We hide away in an abandoned cabin and make out like horny middle schoolers. And my mom thinks one of us isn’t real.”

“Do you not like that?” He looks nervous as he asks, picking at skin on the sides of his thumbs.

“Well, I like making out with you,”

“But?”

“Everyone thinks you’re not real. And I’d like for them to know you’re real so I could make out with you in my bedroom instead. Have sex on a bed like normal people. I dunno.”

Something in the air shifts. The yellow-orange-sunshine is slowly engulfed by red-blue-black metaphorical darkness.

“We can’t do that.” Josh sighs and kneels down beside the couch, bringing his hand to hold yours. The warmth that always exists in his palms felt almost absent.

“Why not, Josh? Why can’t we be normal?”

“I haven’t been honest.” He swallows harshly. You wince as he moves his hand down to rest on your knee.

“Oh great, you have a girlfriend who goes to my college and-”

“No, not a girlfriend, or boyfriend or anything like that.” He rubs his hand up and down your thigh, trying to soothe the nerves he can sense tensing. Electric couldn’t begin to explain the way his fingers feel dragging across your clothed skin.

“Is it your parents?” You sit up and pat the couch next to you for him to sit.

“Not them, no.” He brings himself to his feet before sitting beside you, removing the BlowPop from his mouth. He places the half eaten lollipop on the window sill behind the couch before bringing his hand to cup your jaw. “Y/n, can you kiss me?”

“Josh…”

“Please? Before I say anything, please just kiss me.”

“Josh,”

Could it be that bad?

You shake the feeling, giving into your temptations as you press your lips to Josh’s. Your tongue explores his until the flavor of blue raspberry is nonexistent. Your fingers grasp at his hair, the feeling of his curls helping ground you. As soon as you pull away, you find yourself returning for more regardless of the flavor being long gone from his tender lips. Josh’s hands begin snaking up the front of your hoodie, his fingertips dancing along your sides. His hands against your bare skin feels like oil paints on a canvas, gliding smoothly and perfectly around every edge and detail at the mercy of the artist. Josh’s lips trail down your neck, nipping and biting at the supple skin on your throat, earning a soft moan.

Your hands can’t help themselves, smoothing down the front of his sweater and onto his lap. His length is growing prominent beneath his jeans. Josh follows your lead, his fingers tracing under the waistband of your leggings before pulling you onto his lap.

It isn’t long before you’re pushing your hips into his, rolling methodically against his length as he continues kissing across the expanse of your skin. Josh places his hands on your hips and pushes you down, your center resting over his thigh as your leg slots between his. His hands guide your hips back and forth as you grind your core against his thigh, pressing you firmly down onto him.

One of his hands slowly drags up your side before resting under your chin, raising your face to look at him. He likes to be watched, to be seen, just as much as he likes watching you. Your eyes meet his, warm and golden like summer honey.

“You’re so pretty,” You huff out, still grinding against him. Josh moves his hand to cradle the back of your neck, drawing your lips closer to his.

“Uh-uh. You’re pretty, my baby,” He trails off, pressing his rosey lips against yours. A warm, sweet taste grows the longer he’s there, your heartbeat in places you didn't know it could be. You bring one hand from his shoulder to the back of his head, your fingers nestling deep in his brown curls as you push him closer.

No word can even begin to explain how he’s got you. Josh’s hands work between your bodies, undoing his pants as you continue rubbing against him, a giggle escaping his lips.

“What’s so funny?” You ask defensively, slowing your motions.

“My knee is soaked,” He smirks as he dips his hand past his boxers, not so subtly stroking himself.

“Oh…”

“Is this okay? We don’t-”

“No, I do!” You shout desperately, lifting from his thigh to push your pants past the wide of your ass down until they sit at your ankles. You hover over his length, pulling his boxers down before sitting him at your entrance.

“I’m quite fond of you.” He whispers and looks up, peeling his eyes away from where your bodies are about to connect. The man who loves to watch himself wasn’t watching.

“I’m fond of you, too, Josh.”

“Like a lot, Y/n, and I’m worried about messing this up.”

“You won’t.” You assure him, sinking down onto his length. You hiss at the feeling of him inside, no matter how many times you find yourselves in this situation, it always feels brand new. You fall forward, melting into Josh’s chest as he brings his arms around you with his face tucked in the crook of your neck. His lips find a home sucking a hot trail of marks up and down the side of your neck, reaching his hands down to rid you of your shoes and bottoms.

Josh gently thrusts his hips up, fucking into you slowly, making you feel every inch of his thick cock in your hungry core. Euphoria courses through your veins in times like this, a sparkly, pink goodness that seemingly takes hold of you. Buried deep inside, he holds you down on his length as he readjusts your bodies, laying you across the couch with him above you. He places his hands on the bottom hem of his shirt and hoodie, lifting them over his head to expose his chest. You reach a hand forward and lay it over his heart, pinching your eyebrows together in confusion when you don’t feel a beat.

“You okay?” Josh asks, bringing his hands to the backs of your thighs and pushing them into your chest, allowing him to sink into you deeper.

“Uh-huh,” You gasp and nod as Josh brings a hand from the back of your thigh to lay between where your bodies meet, brushing his thumb over your aching clit.

“Oh… my god…” You gasp into his mouth. “Josh…”

“S’that feel good?” He mumbles against your lips as he slowly works one finger into your already full pussy, thumb still against your clit.

“Like-like,” You hardly stutter as he brings you closer to the brink of orgasm.

“Gold?” Josh suggests, curling his finger upwards as to draw an answer.

Gold. The smell of a freshly blooming sunflower field. The first s’more of summer. The feeling of the sun drying your wet skin after swimming.

“Like gold.” A mess of gasps and moans, you swallow harshly before mewling his name. “J-Josh,”

“Y/n,” He sings, a smile tugging the corner of his lips as they’re pressed against yours. Gold, yellow, honey, rose petal lips, purple-white. The overstimulation was washing over in more ways you could count.

“Josh, please?” You beg for something that’s already yours, a feeling of white-hot washing over your entire body as you feel yourself begin to spill over the edge.

“Gonna cum for me, pretty mama? It’s all yours.” Josh continues curling his finger up, tapping the spongy spot tucked where only he can find it as his hips and thumb keep a steady pace.

Your ears begin to ring like the broken bell above the church nobody attends. Almost in a possessed-like manner, your body convulses under Josh’s touch. As he removes his finger from your aching cunt, you hardly open your eyes to watch him lick your slick off his digits. Your face must look curious because Josh smirks once more before attaching his lips to yours. He tastes of honey, delicate flowers, an old library. To be engulfed and consumed by his flame is all you’ve ever wanted, all you’ve ever craved.

Josh follows not too far afterwards, his hips stuttering and stilling as his warm release coats your walls, his warm torso laying its weight on yours. He turns his head so his cheek rests on your collar, chastely kissing whatever skin he can get his lips on as his length softens inside. It feels weird but nice, oddly enough.

“Hi,” He whispers gently into your neck.

“Hi,” You copy, letting your head fall so your cheek rests against the nest of curls on his head. Slightly damp, but god does he smell good. Chests pressed together, you lay in silence wondering where the beating of either heart has gone. The two of you lay like that for a while, soaking in one another’s presence before Josh finally pushes himself off of you. Your chest grows almost empty and airy, like a helium balloon, without his weight on top to hold you down.

“Can you tell me now?” You groan, sleepy and winded.

“The issue is that I’m not from here, Y/n.” Josh sighs, pushing his legs through his pant legs.

“And that’s okay. But I want to see, Josh. I wanna see where you’re from.”

“It’s all black-red, you don’t wanna see that.”

“I want to know you. Let me see.” Your shoulders fall alongside your expression as you pull your panties over your legs followed by your leggings. Josh reaches down to grab your hand and for a second everything feels orange again. Josh offers a worried smile before everything turns physically black.

“Josh?” Not only is he gone, but everything in the distance looks to be going, too.

It can’t be.

Is Josh… Not real? Just a thought for your amusement?

As you succumb to darkness, you realize maybe blue isn’t so bad after all. It was much better than black, at least. Your surroundings felt like the blue raspberry, thunderstorm, whirring darkness that occured after the incident. Yet still you find you’re unable to recall anything prior outside of riding your bike in the woods.

Finally, you remember something but still not enough to answer what happened that day. All you remember is a glimpse of orange trying to pull you from the darkness and the taste of blue raspberry. A huge wave of grey-black sorrow washes over you, sobs ripping through your chest. Panic is all you know to do.

“Hey,” Orange wraps itself around you in the form of his arms, and even though you can’t see, you know it’s him because of the shade of his words. “It’s okay, I’m right here.”

“Where?” You shudder.

“In the heart.”

One deep, ragged breath fills your lungs as you open your eyes expecting nothing except pitch black, but you’re back in the cabin. It doesn’t feel yellow anymore.

“What happened?” You squeak out, just like that damned chair.

“Y/n,” Josh says gently as he walks to stand before you. He wraps his arms around your shoulders and rests his chin on your head.

“Josh, tell me what happened, I need to know.” You mumble into his chest as you choke back tears.

“We don’t exist.”

“Yes we do! We exist, Josh. We are real, we feel things. Could we feel things if we weren’t real?” You push yourself away from his hold and ball your fists at your side.

“You can ball your fists, but that doesn’t bring us back to life.” He frowns, plopping onto the floor. He sits criss-crossed, looking up at you with those big brown eyes.

“Back to life?”

“You died that day, Y/n. It’s why you can’t remember anything that happened.”

“Died?” You fall to your knees in front of him, your fists thumping against the ground. Nothing was real, at least it hasn’t been for the last few years.

“I tried to save you but I was too late. I saw you just… laying there, but I tried, Y/n.” Josh rests his hands on your knees. If neither of you are real, then how can you feel him?

For the first time you’re able to recall the darkness. Why it tasted of blue raspberry, where your hatred for the squeaking came from, why nobody believed Josh was real. You try again to remember the day of the accident, but to no avail.

Bike. Black. Blue. Orange.

[roseeycreates-blog]

✨Non-bender Lin✨

inspired by this ask to @risingsoleil 😊 The idea is so interesting plus I got to incorporate some of my faves in it so yeah~

So this is my take on non-bender Lin :3

Korra gets her bending back because she’s the Avatar, but she can’t restore anyone else’s bending. So, Lin stays a nonbender.

In Book 2, Lin leaves the police force and goes to the South Pole to recover from PTSD, she has nightmares of Amon taking her bending, and hallucinations. Katara takes care of her during this time.

Lin also gets closer to Tenzin's kids during this period.

Jinora and Ikki feel bad for their Aunt Lin losing her bending while saving them, and they start hanging out with her more often.

They visit her during therapy sessions, bringing flowers and spending time with her their Gran Gran.

Meelo, being Meelo, calls her “Lady Hero” every chance he gets.

Meanwhile, Pema, already dealing with postpartum depression, starts worrying that Lin isn’t just getting closer to Tenzin but also to her family. She’s feeling insecure and suspects Lin is trying to take her place.

Tenzin and the kids reassure Pema that this isn’t the case. But still, Pema occasionally accuses Tenzin of seeing Lin, but the kids would back him up, saying, “No, Mom, we were with Aunt Lin, and Dad was at work.”

In Book 3, Lin is back on her feet and joins Team Avatar on their search for the New Airbenders. Asami, being the genius she is, comes up with a new tool for Lin:

Asami designs a maneuver gear (like Attack on Titan's ODM Gear) that mimics how metalbenders use cables for mobility. It allows Lin to navigate the battlefield as before, despite no longer having her bending.

Since Lin is still, and always will be an incredible fighter, She creates retractable blades (like in Assassin’s Creed) that Lin can use as a weapon since she refuses to use the electric gloves

As time passes, Pema starts to feel better, but her suspicions about Lin never completely fade. Now that Lin is playing a major role in saving the Air Nation and working closely with Tenzin, the lingering doubts continue to plague her. Eventually, Pema reaches her breaking point. Despite Tenzin’s constant reassurance and honesty, she realizes she can’t keep living with these doubts or stay in a marriage without fully trusting him. With a heavy heart, Pema decides to divorce him.

During their mission, Lin and Tenzin are working together again, but this time, Tenzin is 10,000x more protective of Lin. Why? Because she can’t bend anymore, and he’s constantly worried about her safety. However, he tries to hide it, knowing how upset Lin would be if she noticed. She doesn’t want pity or anyone treating her differently.

When the Red Lotus jumped on him, Tenzin came close to death, and in that moment, his life flashed before his eyes. He realized how much Lin had always been there for him, through everything (despite their past). When he was miraculously saved, the first person he saw was Lin approaching him. Overwhelmed with relief, he couldn’t help but reach out, trying to hold onto her, grateful that she was safe and sound.

By Book 4, Lin is looking even more badass with her upgraded gear. Asami added new features like bombs and improved blades, making Lin even more formidable. 

As for Tenzin and Lin’s relationship, it takes time for Lin to accept his feelings. She initially thinks he’s acting out of pity, guilt, or even because she's a second choice after Pema divorced him. But Tenzin works hard to prove that’s not the case. He truly loves her and genuinely wants her back, and he’s determined to show her that his feelings are real. "Just like old times" :3

I’m also on Ko-fi~ Feel free to buy me a coffee if you’d like to support my work! Thank you~ Roseey💖

[cryinginmyroomsposts]

Growing into Love

pairing:Husband!Seokjin x fem!reader

tags: fluff, slight angst, husband Jin, non-idol!au, Arranged marriage trope, mentions of parent issues

summary: Arranged marriage could've been a lot of things, but with Jin, it was nothing but comfortable. Maybe too comfortable that you hadn't realised when you'd both fallen in love.

masterlist | Let me know your thoughts and feedback.

“You know what Mom, I’m sorry. I thought, for once, you’d understand me but of course. My bad. Let’s just forget this. Bye.”

No matter how long it had been, it was never easy. Even years of therapy cannot make the complicated relationship between your parents and you easier to deal with. After everything said and done, you still did love your parents and you knew they loved you too. Even if they weren't great at depicting it without it affecting you.

It was tiresome nevertheless. The constant back and forth, you still hoping they'd understand even though they haven't in the last twenty-seven years and them hoping you'd finally see their side.

It had gotten easier when you had moved out after high school. You had enjoyed the taste of freedom and independence for 6 years since high school, mainly because you knew it came with a deadline- arranged marriage. It was a tradition in your family, everybody always got an arranged marriage. Even after knowing that it’s your destiny, the fear of “what ifs” had eaten you up for years.

For years you'd fought against it, but eventually, you lost all the will to fight and gave in. You had no choice. No matter how much you did, they always demanded more. Maybe you were to blame, for hoping even after everything.

With all the thoughts and the pain still fresh in your heart, you slump against the sofa on the floor throwing your phone on the coffee table. You're trying your best to not let the tears fall. Leaning your head back you just breathe and try to stop the well-known spiral that was going on in your brain.

"That bad huh?"

The voice startles you. You open your eyes to see your husband standing at the kitchen entrance looking at you. His wide shoulders clad in his favourite white t-shirt, a pink worn-out apron on his slender waist, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, the soft features on his face slowly turning into concern as he assessed you.

Being married to Seokjin had been a pleasant surprise. Both of you knew what you were getting into, had spoken openly about your needs and kept to your boundaries. You understood that love was not exactly an option in your situation, but there was never any animosity between the two of you.

After a year of marriage, you'd become friends and partners/ teammates of sorts and constantly enabled each other to succeed. You had a routine, shared chores, shared your hobbies with each other and existed in perfect harmony. There was never a need or yearning for more, as it felt comfortably natural at every point.

Everything you'd learnt about him made you want to remove all the unfair pain he'd been through and protect him from further pain. One month into your marriage you got to know that his family had caused him a broken heart and forced him into this predicament. Yet he was always polite and nice to you and his family, and your respect for him grew multifold. Then you began noticing how he was often silent and blue when he thought no one was paying him attention. His smile faded every time he turned away from people which made you feel like it was you who was getting hurt.

But along the way, in the last year, Jin had genuinely become more balanced. His over-hyper nature around people and the eerily silent persona at home had slowly eased into a balance that dances on the verge of both. He makes you laugh almost every day, has cried in front of you a couple times and always cooked the most delicious meals every weekend. Jin was also a complete crackhead, especially when his younger brother Jungkook visits- which is almost all the time. Jungkook had been a big part of your life since your marriage and you would not have it any other way. Especially since it made Jin smile from his heart (and annoyed him to know bounds that you spoiled Jungkook).

"Y/N, are you okay?"

You blink at the voice, Jin is now crouching in front of you, back leaning against the coffee table as he looks at you. His eyes filled with worry, lips puckered and hair tousled. You bite your lips to prevent the threatening tears from falling down.

"Didn't you hear ?" You ask with a quivering voice, referring to the phone call you had with your parents moments ago.

"No, I was caught up in making lunch." He settles one hand on your shoulder in a pat. "But from the look on your face, I assume it didn't go well. If you want to talk, you know I'm here."

You nod, blinking more furiously in a futile attempt. He smiles and wipes the tears away.

"It's ok to cry, we spoke about this."

"I know. That's what I'm doing." You say as more tears fall and a smile graces your face. "Aha, I know what will cheer you up." His eyes widen and a mischievous smile plays on his face as you look at him in confusion. "I'll call Jungkookie, you are always happy when he annoys me. I don't get it but it'll work for now." You look at him for a moment to gauge how serious he is and end up laughing when he picks up his phone to call the younger one.

"No no Jin don't call kookie. Poor thing, he really wanted to sleep in this weekend. Plus he really needs to start hanging out with people other than us." You say between laughing as Jin puts his phone down.

"Hmmm," he thinks as he absentmindedly wipes more of your tears away and you're watching in anticipation waiting for his next suggestion. "In that case, maybe ice cream will help?" He asks with big eyes and a pout, looking like an innocent child. You immediately nod like an excited 5-year-old at his suggestion.

Jin brings you the ice cream tub you'd both bought at the supermarket and hands over a spoon.

"Here, enjoy!" "Hehe thanks, I love you. You're the best Jin." "Aissh, love you too. I'll go check on lunch. don't eat too much."

You were about to hum back in response but froze mid-action, ice cream spoon on the tip of your tongue. Your eyes widen in reaction and you drop the spoon on the floor. This causes Jin to stop midway to the kitchen and look at you.

"Y/N, are you okay?" He says rushing to your side. You just look at him in pure shock.

"We, I- we-" The words fail to come out of your mouth and your mind is a mess. "We what?" He asks, the concern back on his face.

"wesaidiloveyou" The words leave your mouth in such a hurry that Seokjin almost misses it. When he realises he gets more confused and replies with a shrug, "Yeah so?"

"What do you mean so? We said THE words Seokjin." The incredulous look on his face stays put and you add, "For the first time."

He scoffs and smiles. "This is not the first time."

"What?"

His smile falters, "You don't remember?" "Remember what? Jin don't mess with me now." Your voice is timid and you feel a giant lump creeping up your throat.

"You're the one messing with my head right now. Do you really not remember saying I love you to me that night?" He looks at you in disbelief, ears reddening and his pout in full display. "What night?"

"Y/N, come on seriously?" "I really don't remember Seokjin."

He stares at you for a moment too long, sighs and walks back to the kitchen. You close the ice cream tub and run to follow him in. He's stirring the stew in the pot and even though his back is facing you, you don't miss the agitation in his movements. You wait for him to close the lid on the pot and watch as he just stares at the wall. Slowly you move closer to him but he whips around even before you could tap on his shoulder, and looks at you.

"Jin, I really do not remember what you are referring to and I'm sorry. Just tell me when it was, please." You give him your best puppy eyes and he sighs leaning his head back on the shelf above, before facing you again.

"The night after we went to your cousin's wedding, in bed, before sleeping you told me you love me and I said it back." Your jaw drops to the floor. "That was three months ago," is all you say as you try your best to jog your memory of the night.

That had been a particularly rough family function- with your father questioning every career choice you had made, your mother constantly criticising your outfit choice and every other relative asking you only about your plans to have kids. Seokjin had been very comforting and stayed by your side the entire night. You remember how his hand never moved from the small of your back the entire night and how he kept running circles on your palm whenever he held them. That night you were sure you had fallen for Seokjin, but you did not remember vocalising it to him. And definitely did not remember him saying it back.

Jin's strained sigh brings you back to the man in front of you, he is doing his best to look positive and lighthearted about this and you can see it.

"Why didn't you bring it up the next day?" You wanted to say sorry, you wanted to hug him but this was the only sentence that came out of your mouth. "I figured you said it in a sleepy daze. And maybe you didn't mean it." Jin sounds so small and nervous at the moment.

"But then it happened again." He adds before you can say anything and all you can say is, "HUH?"

He rubs his palm on the back of his neck and nods. "Yeah, actually you've said it 7 times in the last three months including today."

"WHAT?" Jin looks as shocked as you do at this revelation.

"Why the hell do I not remember it?" "How the hell am I supposed to know." Jin's voice comes out sharper and you realise how all of this might be for him. But he turns back to the dish on the stove and you are left to jog your memory to see if he was right.

"The second time was when I bought you the big chocolate cake when you were on your period- two months back," Jin says in the most neutral tone and the memory comes back to you.

You hadn't even informed him about your periods, he somehow always knew. But you were positively shocked when he walked into your shared bedroom with a chocolate cake in his hand, explaining that it will ease your cramps. It might've been possible that you voiced the exact feeling you were having in a moment of joy.

"Then it was a week later when you were leaving for work." Jin is now back to stirring and assessing his pot and his voice seems muffled.

"When?" He turns to look at you for a brief second, he assesses your confused face and turns back smirking.

"You said 'I love you bye' on your way out the door, I knew you didn't realise it. In fact, you did this again twice, Kookie was here during the fifth time."

"Wha- How... Do I have memory loss?" Jin turns around and you can see the smile he's trying to control. "Don't laugh, Jin. How else do you explain my not remembering saying it?" He stays leaning on the counter with his smirk playing on his face and says, "So you definitely don't remember drunkenly professing your love for me last week and then proceeding to cuddle me the entire night until I laid you on the bed in the morning right?"

If you were shocked till now it was nothing compared to this bombshell Jin dropped on you.

"Are you lying?", "No why would I!" Jin looks convincingly innocent but it only worsens your confusion. How did you miss such an important moment of both of your lives. Your husband loves you and has said so multiple times but your brain has successfully managed to forget that. You try your best to remember but nothing out of the ordinary jumps from your brain.

He breaks down laughing- screeching noises and all, as he watches you process it. Your first reaction, post-shock, is to hit him in the arms and exasperatedly pout.

"Jin, that's not fair. Why the hell did you not tell me any of this ?"

He sobers up then and stands in front of you, holding both your shoulders and a sweet smile on his face. "I didn't mean to hide it, I just thought you didn't want to bring it up. Y/N, you told me yourself that you're a flight risk and that you weren't looking for love. I didn't want to make you panic."

"Aww that's sweet of you." He nods annoyingly smug and you roll your eyes. "But I still feel horrible that I didn't even notice it fully. I mean.. how does one forget that?" Jin shakes his head at your words and gives a little squeeze to your shoulder as he says, "You didn't forget it, it just came so naturally to you that it wasn't a big deal."

You look up at his eyes hearing his words. "Was it the same for you?" Jin gulps and rubs the back of his neck again. He's turning redder by the minute and you love seeing him like this. "Well, yeah. I actually said it a week before you did for the first time." You open your mouth to react but he interrupts you. "And no, you didn't forget it. I was scared and told it when you were sleeping."

"When?"

"Aiish, I don't remember Y/N." He's almost as red as a tomato now. You scoff at his words. "Oh please, you just listed the 7 very random days I told you I love you. And I know for a fact you remember when you first said it. Spill it, Jin." Jin is fully blushing and you're sure you are too by how heated up your cheeks feel. You continue riling him up by poking his arms till he swats you away and answers your question.

"I- Oh god stop Y/N, I'll tell.", "Okay, go on."

"It was the night you suggested we sleep in the master bedroom together because you felt it was unfair that I had to sleep in the guest room." Jin covers his hands in his face and cringes at himself while you've got the biggest smile playing on your face. You start giggling and that makes him look up from his hands with a pout.

"Ya don't laugh at me!" "No, no I'm not laughing at you. It's just... that's all it took for you to fall in love with me?"

His face immediately changes from his pout to a soft smile. "That's because I didn't fall in love, and neither did you.", "Oh." You try your best to let it not show but you know that your face has deflated just the way your heart felt.

Jin notices it and smiles before adding, "We didn't fall in love, we grew into it, and that's much better. I've fallen in love before and you know what, when you fall it feels like you're flying until you crash. I think falling in love is a sad thing." He moves closer and holds your face in his palms as you look up at him without breaking eye contact. "With you, with us, we didn't fall and we won't crash. I've been in a relationship where even the smallest things were a big deal- every 'I love you' and anniversary. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just saying I really do prefer how natural it feels to just say I love you and not make a big deal of it. With you, specifically. I love how we just started doing things together without overthinking it. So yea, we grew into loving each other."

By the time he is done you're eyes are watering and the tears flow down your cheeks. He wipes them away and you just stare at him, thinking about his words. He was right, almost all of your firsts since your wedding have been entirely unspoken. One day you just cuddled against him while watching a movie and neither of you questioned it. Or when he randomly pulled you in a bear hug and cried after a tough day, or when he comforted you during your family functions and you did the same. Even when you were busy trying to fight off any feelings because of your fear, you couldn't succeed. It all felt natural.

"Y/N, please don't cry. You've been crying since the damn phone call and now I've made you cry too." You shake your head sideways and pull him into an embrace, leaning your head on his chest and sniffling your tears in. He rubs your back trying to calm you down, which you do because Jin always knows how to calm you. You lift your head from his chest and look at him, still in a tight embrace.

"How are you this smart and amazing?" He smiles shyly and then smirks before adding, "I am 3 years older than you and I know a lot more than you do!"

"Tch, what a shame I didn't record that and send it to Jungkook. He'd be so happy to see you admit that you're old." You tease and Jin looks at you in mock anger which causes you to laugh.

"I've been realising it here and there but like you said nothing felt out of the ordinary or uncomfortable enough to question it. So... okay I agree, we grew into loving each other." Jin nods with a fond smile. "Now what?" you add with raised eyebrows watching keenly as Jin smirks and his hug around you gets tighter. Your face heats up as he leans into you slowly, your eyes trained on those plump lips of his that have always caught your attention. You close your eyes and wait for his lips to hit your lips and finally fee-

TRIINGGGGG

The sound of Jin's ringtone blaring from his pant pocket makes both of you jump away from the embrace. Recovering faster from the shock, Jin picks up the phone and curses as he shows you the called ID- Jungkook.

You laugh as Jin attends the call and immediately starts cursing the younger one and Jungkoook lets out his usual Elmo giggles and shouts for you to support him.

Jin was right, this all felt natural. This is your family, your home and you'd cherish it forever.

[seeker-of-stories19]

Ghostsoap Shifter AU

- Ghost is a very large black Jaguar

- Soap is a border collie

- As if Ghost weren’t deadly enough already he often shifts on missions to take care of enemies

- Shifters are rare enough no one makes the connection and no one who sees him shifted ever lives

- Most people laugh at the rumors which are about as outrageous as any of the other ones surrounding Ghost

- Of course some people theorize that the rumors are more than that but there’s not really any way to prove it and they mostly don’t worry about it too much because it’s not something that makes him more vulnerable since he already stands out on the battlefield

- Soap is the opposite, absolutely everyone knows he’s a shifter and mostly no one cares since shifting into dogs, cats, bunnies, and other small animals is much more common than exotic animals

- It’s not much use on most missions but occasionally he’ll shift if there are kids around to cheer them up or heard them toward safety

- He also shifts to comfort his team members if someone is particularly upset, almost always Ghost but sometimes he does it for Gaz too and on a very rare occasion Price

- Walks all over the base in his dog form, usually following and herding Ghost around which absolutely baffles everyone because they act fairly professional otherwise

- Soap also looks ridiculously small next to him when shifted because he’s so big

- Gaz thinks the whole thing is hilarious and after he walks in on Soap in his dog form laying on Ghost on the couch in the 141 rec room one too many times he buys Soap a PTSD service dog vest as a joke

- Ghost gives him an absolute death glare but Soap beams at him

- He thinks it’s hilarious because he has admittedly been performing Service dog tasks for Simon on a semi regular basis for months at that point

- Doing deep pressure therapy and behavior interruption and grounding tasks for disassociation when Simon is struggling, especially after nightmares

- No one cares at all what they do on base because Price is pretty much in charge anyway and everyone else is too scared of Ghost to protest

- But when they go on leave Simon has a really hard time with his PTSD and Soap has the brilliant idea to put on the vest and tag along for some errands since he can’t exactly lay down on top of Simon in public in his human form if he gets overwhelmed

- It helps a ton and they’re able to go more places, sometimes with Soap tagging along just as a dog and sometimes bringing the vest as an emergency measure and shifting if Simon needs help or comfort

- Soap definitely does a bunch of research into different Psychiatric service dog tasks

- They both agree that Gaz can never know

- But it definitely makes Simon really happy even if he doesn’t want to admit it he ends up sending Soap different ideas of tasks that would help him

- He loves to see Soap find joy in his animal side

- His relationship with his shifter form is much more complex, no one else in his family was a shifter and he tried to hide it from them, even when his mom found out she tried really hard to hide it from his dad

- But eventually he found out when he scared Simon enough that he shifted into a little Jaguar cub

- From that moment on it was his life’s purpose to force Simon into shifting, and he loved to hurt and scare Simon when he was in that form especially as a kid because he liked the power of having control over such a dangerous animal

- By the time he was old enough to join the military he already had a whole separate set of scars on his jaguar form and he swore never to let that part of himself be hurt again

- Lied on his enlistment paperwork about his assigned gender at birth and about being a shifter

- The one thing he’s always liked about his shifter form is that it was always male, even when he was a kid and hadn’t been anywhere close to starting to transition

- He thinks it’s because shifter forms are supposed to be connected to you on a soul level and it helped him process his gender

- He wants to protect himself from any further harm to that part of himself and doesn’t want to find out if the rumors about how the military uses shifters is true

- The entire time he’s with Roba nothing scares him more than losing control of his emotions and shifting but eventually it happens when Roba cuts his face open and he reacts similarly to his dad

- Tests all kinds of horrible drugs on him and hurts him and makes him kill people in his jaguar form, by the time he’s buried he thinks he’s too injured to shift but he forces himself to do it one final time to dig himself out and escape

- After that he never wants to shift again but after hunting down Roba and killing all his men he transforms one final time to kill the man, tearing him apart desperate to show him that he didn’t truly master a jaguar the way he’d tried so many times

- He tries to shift after he gets shot by Sparks and Washington but for the first time instead of his body forcing it on him he can’t do it no matter how hard he tries

- He’s too late to save his family, if he’d been able to shift he could’ve saved them and the failure haunts him

- It’s years before he accidentally shifts again in front of Price after a particularly grueling mission and the man is beyond shocked to suddenly find his sergeant turning into a massive black Jaguar

- It’s takes months after that for Price to slowly help him break through his fears, he promises not to exploit his shifted form on missions but insists that he shift at least once a week for his own sanity, it’s dangerous to just ignore it

- He doesn’t have much choice but to agree but unlike for most shifters his form is no longer a safe place to hide or rest it’s just another reminder of the horrible things that have happened to him

- After that he stops caring about his Jaguar form and what happens to it, feels a sense of bitterness that this incredible ability couldn’t protect him and instead of shifting peacefully on his own he starts doing it on missions, just using it to kill as many hostiles as possible

- He knows the violence bothers Price on some level but the Captain never says anything when he rips people limb from limb with his teeth and transforms back covered in blood

- The first time Soap sees him shifted is in Las Almas when he brutally kills a few Shadows who tried to track them to Alejandro’s safe house

- Rudy is shocked and understandably cautious of the massive animal that just tore five people apart viciously but Soap looks reverent and almost excited

- Is very happy to realize there’s another shifter on the team

- Isn’t the slightest bit intimidated by Ghosts shifted form and before he can even shift back he’s touching his broad muscled shoulders, stroking the black fur gently, whispering a brief praise to him for protecting them

- He’s too shocked to shift back and Soap just casually leads him around to the side of the house where there’s a hose

- He m apologizes for the water being cold and calmly washes the blood out of Ghosts fur while he stands there in shock

- He shifts back and they go on with the mission but he has no idea what to think about what happened and can’t get it out of his head

- Soap regularly interacts with him in his shifted form during and after missions and it becomes routine for him to give him absentminded pets

- On the battlefield Soap is the only one who specifically utilizes his shifted form in mission plans

- He gains his own reputation for having a trained Jaguar and there are some truly ridiculous stories passed around base about it

- Slowly over time he finds it normal to spend time with Soap while shifted but never outside of missions

- When Soap starts asking him to shift around the base in their rooms or the rec room he can’t fathom doing it for himself

- The first time he shifts around Johnny outside of a mission is when they’re cuddling together on leave and it’s a complete accident

- It’s very common for strong emotions to trigger a shift but for him it’s almost always been fear and the few times it wasn’t fear it was anger

- He’s never shifted from a positive emotion so he’s shocked and beyond confused when he goes from purring into Johnny’s chest wrapped in fluffy blankets while the rain pours down outside to laying half across his boyfriends body as his Jaguar self

- Soap is ecstatic and immediately shifts as well, curling into Simon’s much larger body and gently licking one of his paws, snuggling under his chin fearlessly

- They get fur and dog hair all over the bed but he doesn’t even care because it feels amazing to be shifted like this

- He hasn’t shifted once in his entire life where he was truly safe, even as a kid it was in the locked bathroom when his shifted form was still just a clumsy black kitten and he wanted to spend all his time in any body other than his own

- It’s still painful but he starts opening up too Soap about his relationship with his shifted form and Johnny is absolutely devastated

- His border collie form is so precious to him and the stress relief of not having to think the way he does as a human, of just herding and protecting settles something inside him

- He can’t imagine being so viciously abused in his dog form that it became a trap of all the worst animal mentalities

- Instead of getting a more simplified thought process and the pleasure of giving in to more of his instincts and trapping people into giving him physical affection Ghost is stuck in the flight or fight of an abused animal, scared, violent, lashing out

- He makes it his life’s mission to get Simon relaxed and happy enough to have him shift from positive emotions

- It doesn’t happen too much at first because he still has so much trauma attached to his shifter form but slowly over time he can get Simon into a headspace where he shifts more often around their flat

- The first time it happens on base for any reason other than a nightmare is when he’s giving Simon a scalp massage, twirling his curls around his fingers and rubbing his fingers against his scalp while Si lets out deep rumbling purrs

- He’s heavy enough when he shifts to half crush him but he doesn’t move much except to wiggle up enough that most of the weight is resting on his legs and not his stomach

- Simon always acts like he should be scared of him like this but it’s all he can do not to coo at him when he blinks heavy lidded green eyes at him and bats at his side clumsily with a heavy paw

- When the door opens Gaz let’s out a high pitched scream of shock and nearly jumps into Price’s arms while Simon barely moves

- It’s the animal mindset kicking in differently than fear and violence and panic and he recognizes it immediately as being how he’s always understood his shifted form

- Still very much human but fewer thoughts and more instinct, making it easier to let go of anxiety then it ever is as a human

- Price looks absolutely shocked to see Simon casually shifted, bumping his large black head against Johnnys side to get his attention

- He quickly goes back to petting him

- When he shifts back he’s clearly a bit unnerved by it but just says something along the lines of never letting Gaz live down his reaction

- It’s months later that Johnny is having a difficult time with some recruits, just the type of people who like to pick at authority to try and make themselves seem tough

- Especially against the supposedly deadly SAS sergeant

- They know of Ghost and have heard enough rumors to be suitably terrified but they certainly don’t know how protective he is over Soap

- Rather than trailing around after Soap like his namesake and scaring all the recruits like he usually does if situations like this arise he takes a different route with this particular group after hearing Soap complain about some of the particularly unpleasant harassment he’s been facing

- Soap is halfway through yelling at the group of especially rude recruits when Ghost pads over to him and buts his head against the man’s chest

- He’s so shocked he freezes and the recruits are scrambling away when Johnnys face breaks into a brilliant smile as Ghost head-buts his thighs and stomach a few times before looping his strong lithe body around Johnnys back

- Soap just continues yelling at the recruits who are now cowering because he’s just casually got a massive black Jaguar draped around him

- When he finishes yelling he gives them one more warning before writing them up for insubordination and the practically run away the second they’re dismissed

- As soon as they’re out of sight Johnny breaks out into the most delighted laughter and hugs Ghost as hard as he can, pressing kisses to his snout and beaming at him

- Ghost just pushes him down and paws at him for pets, purring and butting his massive head against his chest

- Since he doesn’t have anything to do immediately he walks towards Ghosts room and lets himself in with the spare key while the few people around stare at him being followed by a massive jaguar

- People notice of course but it’s a small enough base that despite the people filtering through regularly it really is the 141s base and anyone who knows anything knows it’s a bit unregulated and very much left to the discretion of John Price

- Not to mention they’re too scared of Ghost to create any issues anyway

- So whatever chaos the 141 comes up with is mostly just ignored

- But people are definitely freaked out by a fucking Jaguar of all things just trotting after Sergeant McTavish through the hallways

- Soap of course thinks it’s hilarious and collapses laughing the second he gets the door closed

- He’s so incredibly proud of Simon he just showers him with love the rest of the night, petting him, kissing his snout, snuggling into his chest

- It makes Simon feel more loved than he has in a long time when Johnny gets so excited at one point that he accidentally shifts as well

- They love being shifted together but they also love when one of them is shifted and the other can give them love in their human form

- Soap starts transforming even more to help Simon and he can see the man slowly becoming more receptive to his shifter form

- He doesn’t transform in front of people on base again and a lot of people think those recruits were making it up

- Soap thinks it’s hilarious

- But he’s also so flattered that Ghost would transform in a semi public place for him since he knows how hard it is for him

- He doesn’t expect that Simon will ever be as comfortable as he is with his shifter form but when he starts shifting more in front of Price and Gaz in the 141 rec room he’s ecstatic

- Price and Gaz never quite get used to it but there’s nothing he likes more than seeing Simon sprawled across the couch in a patch of sunlight, tail flicking lazily as he licks him with his rough tongue

- But nothing is better than seeing Simon at home in there flat shifting comfortably just to get some pets, acting for all intents and purposes like a glorified house cat

- He’s such an attention seeker when shifted, if Soap ignores him he’ll break mugs and vases on purpose which has him feeling absolutely humiliated when he shifts back and his thoughts are more human

- Sometimes he still shifts after nightmares and things and Johnny will cuddle him close and soothe him with kisses and snuggles as he yowls and whimpers like a trapped animal

- But overwhelmingly he shifts for positive reasons and on purpose which he never could’ve imagined in the past

- It feels like he’s finally found the peace in his shifted form that he was searching for at five years old locked in the bathroom with clumsy paws, he feels like a kitten again with Johnny who is so sweet and attentive and everything he could ever hope for

- It affects their relationship significantly and they’re both incredibly happy and they work well together

- Although they never escape the cat and dog jokes from the people who know about both of them

[spoiled-ojousama]

betcha someone's thought abt it before, but the plothole of 'why didn't anakin just leave the order and marry padme publically' isn't a plothole because anakin never sought some peaceful married life as a househusband, he wanted power

take a boy who has never known security ever, never known agency, never lived a day without the fear his loved ones would be stolen from him, tell him you'll free him from slavery, but he needs to leave his mom and friends behind and he's only being taken to fill the role of 'chosen one' and because he's already pretty old, the ppl who saved him already doubt even bringing him along, and like, ultimately anakin feels within his gut he's being enslaved again, even as reality reveals itself he'd take god knows how long to break that instinct, and then onwards, he's taught the ways of physical violence, he excels at piloting starfighters, commanding armies, and swinging a blade, he's for once in his life given agency, given power, he gets to decide what happens to others, even if only within his own cosmos, why would he ever give up that brutal certainty for the uncertainty of domesticity and having to let others carry the universe, beyond merely a sense of task-duty deep within his skull, he's powerful, he can do whatever he wants, he can protect those close to him, even when his mother died when he was a padawan, he now has more ability than ever to guard his soldiers, his trainees, his other friends, but it's still not enough in war

and I mean, why would therapy help anakin either, he doesn't even know something's wrong with him and any suggestion from the jedi that something about him was wrong would be instinctively taken as a threat to his security, even if he was dragged to therapy, he wouldn't want to heal, he wouldn't even want to acknowledge that need, he wouldn't even know he had that need because he's never lived a life that was ever secure enough to teach him otherwise

from anakin's point of view, the jedi are evil, but ultimately while they did prolong his slave mentality, what could they have done.

think about it, why would you only ever train kids, luke's trainable, he was just hard, you only train kids because you need to make more and more jedi, more jedi to keep the peace, more jedi to fight sith, whatever the reason, you need the teachers to be younger, and you need them to train the easier students, and if you fight an ancient and nonstop battle with the sith, eventually the philosophy is discarded, mass production is all that is important, utilitarianism turns into dogma

no attachments, no older kids, a structure that has allowed the jedi order to churn out thousands upon thousands of agents for reasons that are unambiguously good (the protection of the weak), why would they change, especially as they become the only interstellar peacekeepers, especially as another war, a war of mass production and attrition breaks out, the jedi fell into utilitarian dogma, and anakin fell because of it, only needing a few nudges from palpatine to shove him over the edge

but ultimately anakin is irrelevant, whether he fell or not wouldn't truly effect palpatine's victory, anakin was made as a person of immense force potential so plageius and sidious could have a superpowered slave

palpatine and plagieus could have ruled the galaxy side by side in due time, but the drive to dominate, to possess ever powerful weapons led to anakin's birth, fall, and eventual redemption, wherein he, in one of his last moments, feeling nothing but rage, nothing but slave-mentality, bereft of loved ones to protect, finally had someone he could care about, someone who was family to him, some final reamnant of padme

of course he killed palpatine, he had all the power, he understood how much the sith path was a pathetic lie that earned him nothing but pain, all he needed was someone to protect

andyways, silly analysis poast

[riptidesblog]

Wish we got a Wu season or smth exploring his powers and character.Anyway,here's how I think it'd go:

Wu,using his powers,creates a world.A false one that is based on his regrets,mistakes and etc. He's stuck in a fantasy of his own making and doesn't want to leave.It's a world in his image. There's two ways I could see the team in this world:

•They're there too and at first,they're confused. Then they start to realize,slowly,but this world void of pain and suffering seems so...perfect. They hesitate on going back.The episodes explore each character.Eventually they do realize that they need to stop this.They try to convince Wu as he is the only one capable of pulling them out of this fake world(maybe it's in their dreams and they can't wake up).Wu doesn't want to.He doesn't understand why his (kids) students want to leave(He made this world for them,for his family.He made a world where they can be happy,why can't they let him FIX his mistakes?!).Ninja realize their (dad)teacher's guilt and trauma and eventually they get out of the fake world with all of them starting their way to healing.

•Ninja aren't pulled into the perfect world at first.They go there to save Wu(kinda like Zane-Ice Emperor-Never Realm situation).This world has versions of themselves too.Versions based on Wu's perception of them,but minus the trauma.At first it seems these are the versions of them if their lives were perfect...but they start to notice some things.This world is based on Wu and it...doesn't always make sense. For example:if they were to ask fake Nya,she'd say she is happy as the water ninja(because to Wu's knowledge she is!) but she'd also say she is happy she stayed Samurai X(because Wu feels like he forced her out of a role she wanted).Fake Pixal would also say she's happy as Sam X bc again,to Wu's knowledge it's true and so,that detail doesn't need changing.Not only do these statements contradict each-other,but the perfect world is one without enemies.One without the need for ninja or samurai or any other kind of protectors.The ninja dislike the situation,but also there are some appealing things in this perfect world.For example:the elemental alliance.They're all there(the twins never betrayed the rest and everyone is present) and Jay wants to learn more about his bio mom. Also,there's a fake Morro there too and he's the ninjas kind of guide(they're pretending to be travelers or smth to learn more).Ninja aren't sure if this really how Morro was bc the kid in front of them is unbothered,free and not a vengeful ghost.At some point they ask him about the prophecy..."What prophecy?"

In both scenarios Wu's trauma and character is explored through his actions and the world he created.He feels guilty about the bite?Well Garm never was bitten in this fake world.Wu views himself as someone constantly making mistakes?In this world he is the one bearing the weight of everything just so everyone else can be happy.Also,the power of creation is expanded on:it's limits(or their lack of),how it works and etc.Also,there could be some other side to the perfect world:a dark side full of Wu's nightmares,fears he made himself.This is where he keeps all of the less than pleasant things so his world remains perfect.This is also where he 'punishes' himself(the team is horrified,they need to get this man therapy asap).

[deafeninggalaxycandy]

✨️ERIC CARTMAN HEADCANONS ✨️

TW: mentions of attempted murder, suicide, depression, psych wards, eric cartman existing is a trigger tbh

• Eric Theodore Cartman

• He/Him

• Born on July 1st, 2003

• 5'9"

• Aroace

• Liane forced him to go to therapy. Most of them quit after they were mentally tortured. The incredibly unlucky few committed suicide or were falsely convicted of a crime.

• He tried to kill his mother at age 13, which led to him being arrested. The judge ruled him as mentally unstable and ended up sentencing him to be put in a psych ward for 4 years.

• He has narcissistic personality disorder and anti-social personality disorder

• He's not a psychopath but he is a diagnosed sociopath

• His attempted murder of his mom was similar to when he tried to kill her in Season 10, Episode 7, "Tsst". It was a result of him being frustrated because of the forced therapy and her no longer catering to his destructive habits.

• His friends had visits with him in the ward for a few months. After he escaped a few times and caused more havoc, they finally decided that Cartman was too dangerous to hang around and eventually stopped visiting.

• Eric's time alone was at first spent trying to escape, thinking of revenge plans, and stealing food from other patients. But after about a long time of depression and loneliness, he started reflecting on his actions and realizing he couldn't be a selfish asshole and keep the people he loves around at the same time.

• After he got released, he decided to apologize to his friends, his mom, and Heidi.

• They eventually reconciled and helped him progress his character.

• He's still kind of a dickhead but he's not a sadistic manipulator. He's not a great person but he's trying.

• Major road rage. He's a very reckless driver and has gotten into multiple accidents.

• Still secretly sleeps with his stuffed animals.

• His handwriting is absolutely awful almost nobody can read it. He can hardly even spell correctly.

• He takes up wrestling in high school. He's still fat, but he has more muscle, so he's pretty strong.

• He watches soap operas with his mom.

• A good 85% of his time alone is spent arguing with people on reddit

• The other 15% is him dressing in drag and putting on dance performances to Lady Gaga songs

Eric actually gets along great with kids. He's like a mentor to Tricia (much to Craigs dismay)

• He's secretly jealous of Kyle's stable family and grades. He's really jealous of Kyle's relationship with Ike, as Eric's relationship with his half-brother Scott is very hateful.

• He's also bitter about Kyle being taller than him

• Very fluent in German (we all know why), Russian, and Spanish.

• He's actually smarter than everyone, but he's too lazy to do any work.

• He complains about his weight in private but absolutely refuses to eat vegetables.

• Kenny and Heidi are the only people he genuinely trusts. He loves his mom but is still scared of her getting him sent to prison

• He talks in his sleep. Usually he's saying something nonsensical or a disturbing secret.

i made Cartman and Heidi get back together (HE CHANGED SHUT UP)

fr tho I actually hate cartman so I had to do a lot of work for him to be halfway decent in my eyes 💀

[creativity-deficient]

Random Tweek Tweak hcs bc im thinking bout him yet again :)))

-Has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, made worse by the increased use of Methamphetamine over the years and mistaken for adhd (canon/implied canon), which I do like to think DOES have as well. He is also on the autism spectrum.

-Has mild Seborrheic dermatitis, a skin condition that causes red and flaky patches of skin and usually flares up due to stress. It starts mainly on his head/under his hair as a kid but worsens in his teens years. Also has dermatillomania (a skin picking disorder), as well. Both of these become a lot worse in his teen years, with the addition of meth induced skin sores and hormonal acne to boot, but do become a lot more manageable for him as an adult. Still however, he does have some faint scars from all the picking and scratching over the years.

-Small tubby lil guy :) (sorta?? implied canon??), below average in height and considerably pudgy compared to most of his peers (genetics/stress eating). Loses a lot of this weight in his teen years due to health issues, but does gain a lot of it back as an adult. Also has a pudgy baby face that he never quite grows out of, even as an adult.

-His eyes a blue hazel, a rare eye color

-Sometimes snaps and hums to calm himself down.

-Enjoys baking as a casual hobby, though he’s still an amateur and doesn’t know how to make much. (implied canon)

-Once joined every school club because he had an anxiety attack and couldn’t decide what to pick

-Habitual nail chewer, again something he usually does due to stress. Nails are very short and stubby because of this

-Bandages on his fingers due to burns, skin picking, and nail biting

-Chronic ice-chewer

-Never learns to tie his shoes. Kept tripping over his laces before finally taking them out. Untied laces to laceless shoes to crocs to socks with sandals to velcro shoes pipeline

-Also never learns to drive, too much stress. Forever in his passenger princess era ✨

-Lowkey a backseat driver, though not in a “know it all” type of way. He mostly just freaks out the entire time.

-Can not sleep in the car because he’s afraid the second he closes his eyes, they’ll crash.

-Doesn’t know much slang/internet lingo and has absolutely no idea what his peers are talking about half the time (pretends he does and usually just ends up looking stupid 😔)

-Has a fear of rubberhose cartoons, as well as those weird old stop motion Christmas movies (he just finds them unsettling)

-Told about the secret family recipe as a teenager by his father, and is reasonably freaked out about it. Is forced to keep his mouth shut about it and suffers through major withdrawals before his parents are eventually exposed and arrested for the distribution of meth/counts of child abuse. Spends most of his high school years in therapy and rehab, though it’s all made easier with Craig by his side

-He and Craig try breaking up their freshman year of high school, both of them feeling like they need to try new things for a bit. It lasts about a week before they get back together.

-TERRIFIED of scissors and refuses to let anyone come near him with them. Grows his hair out long as a teenager before finally caving in and shaving it off as a young adult. He now keeps it managed, but Craig is the only person he trusts to do so.

-Did once try to cut his own hair in middle school though, and he spent weeks looking like a train-wreck before finally letting his mom fix it.

-His relationship with his mom is considerably better than his relationship with his father, and though he never quite forgives her for what she’s done, the two of them are able to reach some sort of closure with each other in Tweek’s older age

[blush-bblushing]

Uhh first time writing for tumblr in awhile

Blush blush guys headcanons! (Pt1)

Cw: none. All fluff!

Characters: nimh, volks, kelby, eli

Hc's under the cut

Nimh

Due to his heart condition I think he grew up afraid to do anything fun. By that I mean he avoided scary movies, rollerblading, most theme park rides, etc. He still had fun in his own way. But as an adult, he tries to test what he can/cannot do. For example: going rollerblading with marshmallow/mc. Sure, he may need to rest every 5 or so minutes. And that's ok. He still gets to experience something new. All while doing it with someone he trusts.

He has a habit of holding his hands when nervous. Like when he's feeling anxious, he'll rub his thumb on his palm. It became a habit because his family did that for him as a kid. Sometimes he'll do it to marshmallow to when they hold hands. Regardless of if they're nervous or not.

When shopping for clothes, blankets, or anything with fabric, he has to check the fabrics texture. Nimh can be jumpy at times. And sometimes certain fabrics feel like a spider touching him if he forgets the texture. So to avoid that scare, he'll lean towards softer fabrics. Obviously, not everything he has is soft. It's just the majority for his sake

This is a lot more simple- I firmly believe he watched shows like strawberry shortcake, Teddy ruxpin, bear in the big blue house, etc. All of these shows are still a comfort to this day. If he feels particularly anxious he'll watch an episode or two to calm down.

Volks

Volks is pretty good at braiding hair. During childhood, he would play with his mom's hair. Mainly stemming from boredom. This eventually led to his mother showing him how to braid. To this day, he can do multiple braid styles. His personal favorite is a fish tail braid.

Obviously he isn't a touchy person. However, if the stars align, he'll rest his head on marshmallows' shoulder. Or even rarer: he'll hug marshmallow from behind. Just don't bring attention to it. Or else he'll quickly jump up and stop. It's not an issue he has with his partner. Simply Volks trying to be more affectionate.

When he first became a wolf, Volks accepted his fate. He didn't ignore the existential horror of the situation. He just didn't care too much about it. It gave him the freedom to act in ways he couldn't before. To elaborate on this: he has a lot of self enforced "rules" for himself. Like societal expectations but with stuff he made up. After the whole wolf & marshmallow thing, he has far less of these. (Men will literally become an animal instead of going to therapy/j)

With it being revealed in his coffee date that he sometimes sings: he likes laufey. Her music makes him feel comfortable with the idea of being soft. If one were to catch him washing the dishes alone (and with his phone on), he'll be singing "from the start". He knows most of her songs by heart.

Kelby

Ugh. He's underrated. So these are to give his fans some food.

As a result of his active lifestyle, Kelby doesn't play videogames. He's tried them a few times. He sadly doesn't see the appeal.... except for one. Marshmallow showed him animal crossing. And if you've played it, you'd know there's a whole subset of characters who work out. Since he first played it, he'll occasionally ask Marshmallow to check on them. He wants to encourage his digital workout buddies :]

He doesn't have nuch of a wardrobe. It's mainly sport uniforms and hoodies. As a joke I like to think that any exceptions to this wardrobe were either 1) "forced" (asked him to try the clothes on) upon by marshmallow or 2) he realized that the event he's going to wouldn't appreciate him wearing a basketball uniform.

Kelby didn't always work out. In early childhood he did typical kid stuff. Eat a bunch of candy, watch TV, etc. Until he got around 8 years old. When he thought it'd be fun to try out his dads workout equipment. After a few days, he was caught lifting his dad's 5lbs weights. Since then his parents encouraged his efforts. And he's been athletic ever since! He still appreciates dessert or binge watching a TV show about once or twice a week. To treat himself after some hard work.

There's memes about guys using 10 in one shower products. One would think Kelby is the same. Surprisingly enough, he isn't. He takes special care of his hygiene. Hair thickening shampoo & conditioner and fancy shower gels are only a couple of examples. He doesn't like the assumption that he only cares about working out. Self care involves everything about the body. Not only the aesthetics of it.

Eli

Had a massive vocaloid phase. (They call it a phase but he literally has a couple miku figures in his room. They bought the newest figure only a year before marshmallow came) he and Marshmallow have already planned on visiting miku Expo. So long as they bring back the holograms.

Because of how varied Eli's fashion sense is, he will occasionally chose to wear something nobody expects. One day, they wore an outfit similar to poe's. Most of the other guys' reactions consisted of "who are you and what have you done with Eli?!" (Poor guy only wanted to dress up :[ ) luckily, since then, the others have gotten used to it. Some of them even encourage it if it helps them express themselves better.

As most know, he doesn't I love you much. That doesn't mean he can't show genuine affection. Say hypothetically marshmallow were to have a bad day. They'd come home to not only some new clothes in their room, but also their favorite food and a comfort movie/show/videogame on the TV. From experience, Eli finds gestures like this to be more meaningful. Proof that someone does genuinely care. And that all their words aren't superficial.

And for the final headcanon of this post: Eli always has some sort of makeup product or accessory to share. You never know when a style emergency may happen! Someone who cares for their looks (like he does) is bound to worry about others. You need a hairtie? Gotchu. Never wore makeup before but wanna try? Already have the bag out. A seam tripped in your favorite shirt? Somehow a sewing kit is ready??? They have your back in nearly anything your style may struggle with

That's all for now. If I remember to do so later, I'll share the ones I have for the other guys. Hope this was at least entertaining to read

[sunflowersandthestars]

I have sexual aversion disorder.

I’ll be loud about it because it’s not talked about. And honestly we are shamed for it.

I am a sexual assault survivor and it was a traumatic experience for me. I was 19, thousands of miles from home, and at the time, still a virgin. My first sexual experience was with force and unwanted. I felt icky, used, and broken.

I had a supportive work family and friends who were there for me and as much as I wanted to just grow out of it, unfortunately I have not. My first boyfriend was shortly after this incident and while we cuddled, held hands and made out, we never went there. He was my rock and never once made me feel bad about it or that I owed him anything. I can honestly say he was my first real love and while we eventually broke up due to long distance, we remained friends up until he married. He moved back to Chicago as he got a good job and his mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I went to Chicago many times and sat with his mom during one of her chemo treatments.

Unfortunately as life went on, I learned not all men were raised the same way and most men, well majority put such a high value on sex. Not only do most men expect at least a kiss on the first date, most also expect sex. And the amount of men who do not take no for an answer is terrifying.

I have obviously had sex since but it is not comfortable for me. Most of the time I feel shamed into performing and feel so much self hatred after. It is icky to me and awkward and now to the point I hate seeing it. I hate that it’s so nonchalantly shown in movies and tv shows without warning and usually it’s not needed in order to move a plot forward. I just feel disgust usually.

I’ve been in therapy and while it’s not the target issue of anything we talk about, it’s still talked about. It’s difficult to make meaningful connections because if I mention my issues with sex, suddenly I am ghosted or told “well I’ll make you like it” and with a creepy winky face. No, it’s not something you can just make me like because you think your gods gift to women. It is a legit fear and disorder due to a traumatic event in my life. I have to be the one in control and ease into it. But men don’t get that. And some women don’t either. Like on here, all fanfiction is about BDSM or rough sex or something violent and I understand everyone has kinks but still, why so violent??? If a man pulls my hair, I will cut off his dick.

It’s that fantasy that continues to teach men it’s ok to treat us like objects and trash. It’s gross. Especially when I’ve shared this with someone I thought cared and then all they do is post gross sexual posts. It doesn’t make me feel seen, it makes me feel completely invisible.

The only community that seems to understand people like me is the ACE community and for that I’m forever grateful. I think that’s why I love that Disney movie Elemental so much because it’s not an “oh I’m in love with a man I just met in the woods” horseshit but it’s legit a friendship turned love and slow. Nothing was pressured on anyone, it just was and was more about simple hand holding. I cry everytime I watch it because it’s just pure.

I just wish people with sexual aversion disorder were more accepted and understood. Yes, there are people who do hate sex and we are valid and have a right to exist too without being made to feel less than or pressured to perform. I’m told constantly it is something I can work out of with the right understanding partner but you’d be surprised how that is finding a needle in a haystack.

[octahyde]

twst trans headcanons for pride or something hi

It’s pride month so I figure I might as well post my transcanons!! If I did my sexuality headcanons we’d be here all day so I’m just doing the stuff I relate to The Most know what I’m sayin…

Please note that unless otherwise pointed out, I am totally cool with different headcanons!! These are just where I think the specific characters land, and just because most characters aren’t listed here doesn’t mean I think they’re cis per say, just that I don’t have any particular hcs about them gender wise

Anyways!!

Riddle Rosehearts- Trans Man, Gay, He/Him*

This is one of my biggest ones… I think having femininity shoved down his throat and existence made him unable to explore his real gender. Even when he got accepted into NRC, there was a shock because his mother had been prepping him for an elite girls’ school. She went through with him going so she could brag to others behind his back. (“Did you know? My daughter is going to NRC. She’s the only girl who has ever been accepted!”)

Part of why he’s so militant on rules is because it’s the only way he can function mentally- he is desperately afraid of what will happen when his mom realizes he’s trans, so he enforces them strictly to feel like he’s doing something right.

He was so malnourished his breasts never developed and his periods are spotty at best. This doesn’t ease his dysphoria but rather makes him feel more dysphoric; he feels his body is broken and can’t even do what it’s “supposed” to do right.

He doesn’t have a need to get top, but he does get phallo when his hormones are fixed. “Average size, nothing too grotesque, please.” Throughout all of this Trey is by his side, unwavering in support. Trey is the one person who has known him in every stage of his transition and the only one Riddle intimately confides to.

Eventually Riddle does pursue law; after several months-long IOP sessions for years he IS stable enough to be a lawyer righteously and justly. Meanwhile, Trey runs his family bakery in stead of his parents before him. The two adopt two sons, and eventually after years of being in therapy and having Riddle’s gynophobia eased, a baby daughter as well.

Through all this shit of being married with children to another man who is openly gay and having full testosterone and a literal phalloplasty, Riddle only sees himself as “A devoted ally of the LGBTQ community.” Nobody tell him.

*This is a hc I am VERY staunch on, and I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable with anything fem!Riddle related, be it genderbends or headcanons. That being said! Everyone has their own relationship with gender and I have nothing wrong with people having these hcs, and I even see where transfem Riddle is coming from. I just personally prefer to have it kept away from me.

Cater Diamond- Trans Man, Bi, He/Him

I’m not sure if this is a popular hc or not?? I thought it was but I’m just realizing it’s because every Cater is Transmasc Cater in my eyes so I could just be projecting onto cis stuff without realizing it DIS IF NSFJFN

Anyways Caycay is a trans guy and it’s a lot of why he has disdain for how his sisters treat him, even if they don’t realize it. Similar to Riddle having femininity forced on him, but in a different way and significantly less extreme.

In general, Caycay has a streak of hiding most if not all of his real self under his peppy attitude and social media addiction (his lab vignette, Wish Upon A Star), if not outright resentment (his Halloween vignette) for people who are legitimately as shallow he acts when they don’t have a care in the world (Borderline Personality Disorder).

I think that follows through in his dysphoria; he shows himself as a happy, carefree guy who is just happy to be a guy, but underneath that he does have resentment for his cisgender peers for having what he wants- especially without family knowing he’s a guy but treating them as their little tomboy sister with different pronouns anyways.

His chest dysphoria is particularly bad; he has D cups and every time he puts his binder on he wants to die. Not above self harming, either, but I don’t have any hcs firm on that kind of thing for him. Has likely skipped class on days where it’s particularly bad. Trey Clover, #1 Cis Ally, is also the only person he confides into as well, when his guard is down he’s vulnerable enough (which is to say, not often).

He gets top surgery basically the second his fourth year starts, he’s too much of a suicide risk without it. He can take or leave phallo, but is mostly just fine with what T does to his penis and doesn’t see a need to pursue it. He ends up marrying a bad bitch influencer on Magicam and is basically just a trophy husband when she starts getting actual gigs in advertising. They have a very happy r/childfree life also.

He moves to the Queendom of Roses to be closer to Trey as well. After NRC, he gets a lot more vulnerable and transparent about how badly he really is doing. Trey is the one who drives him to and helps his intake for when he needs inpatient (which is a lot), as well as his ride to and from IOP every day.

Trey Clover’s schedule is basically wake up, get started on the baking for the day, have breakfast with his family, pick up and drop off Caycay at IOP, open + morning shift, lunch break (picking Caycay up and getting McDonalds because that’s all this dumb bitch ever wants, then dropping him off at home), afternoon shift +closing, making dinner, and being intimate with Riddle during their allotted Love Making Time if he so chooses. This is his life and, somehow, it’s his dream life and the happiest he can even be. God bless Trey Clover.

Jamil Viper- Nonbinary (Genderfluid), He/She (alternating)

I don’t have much to elaborate on here, basically since I got into TWST I’ve just naturally alternated on he and she for her depending on how I feel that day LMAO. Her nonbinanry swag…

Nondysphoric and never medically transitions. She probably has more feminine clothing but for the most part doesn’t really feel a need to do anything to herself. She Likes Women In A Gay Way which is the best way I know how to describe it, even knowing other terminology (and also being uncomfortable with them from trauma). Marries a normal person after NRC and is also r/childfree, but is the worst influence on Najima’s children.

Epel Felmier

do i even need to fucking elaborate on this.

Vil Schoenheit- Transhet Woman, She/Her**

Content warning for mentions of an eating disorder, specifically anorexia.

Listen trust me I know a Beautiful Trans Woman when I see one.

She’s out when she’s at NRC and on light E, but that’s it at that point because of her career. She has Turbo Dysphoria, which is exacerbated by her relationships with Neige and Epel- the fact that Neige is so effortlessly soft and beautiful despite being a cis man, and Epel being afab and having such a frail and feminine form but wanting to be masc caused deep resentment for both. The trans envy and projection is a major force in how she treats Epel and why she is so hard on him and trying to mold him.

Eventually, her anorexia causes her to black out and collapse during a shoot. She’s rushed to inpatient for a few months so she can recover. There, she comes to terms with the fact that Neige isn’t her enemy and never was- especially when he regularly visits to make sure she’s ok. He’s genuinely worried about her after all the shows they’ve done together.

She also makes the decision to cut Rook from her life, as he was majorly encouraging a lot of unhealthy behavior- including the eating disorder that landed her there in the first place.

Along with this, she’s finally put on a higher dose of E in the hospital, because it’s a very big contributor to why she got as bad as she did. When she’s stable for a few months after being discharged, she gets breast augmentation for D cups and a vaginoplasty as soon as she can.

Also she actively pursues getting closer to Neige out of thanks for him and they get married and have children and the euphoria Vil feels getting pregnant is crazy. The end

**I am VERY aware this is a controversial headcanon, and one many feel goes against Vil’s entire character. I am not denying Vil is canonically a gnc man, nor am I going after people for not viewing her this way. This headcanon is very personal to me as a gnc trans man and other trans people I know. All I ask for is respect and that you block me if this headcanon bothers you instead of trying to argue with me.

Idia Shroud- Transhet Woman, She/Her

Content warning for actual discussions of self harm (specifically cutting), along with amputation.

My most surprising and shocking transcanon out of all of these

Idia is literally like… what if you took a bunch of white trans women in STEM and put them all in a room together and tasked them with making the most stereotypical boymoder they possibly could. Coding? Check. Loves SHMUPs? Check. Posts about hyperspecific weird obscure interests on the internet? Check. Dresses really nice in MMORPGs despite not putting effort in irl? Check check check. It’s legitimately stunning to me that this isn’t a more popular headcanon. She probably has thigh highs on under her pants at all times.

I unsurprisingly have a LOT of thoughts about this; I’m hardcore yume so I will likely leave that out because it’s personal but tbqh I have enough thoughts to write a book without that.

During the incident that killed Ortho, Idia was out for 3ish days afterward. When she woke up, not only was Ortho gone, but her legs were, too- the phantom took them in the attack, and she had to have them amputated. She ended up as a double below the knee amputee. This incident all gave her EXTREME CTPSD. (Which like, it’s canon it gave her CPTSD and informs every single action she makes and the entire fandom is ableist as hell for infantilizing her autism uwu and ignoring the CPTSD completely, but that’s another post for another time.) It also lead to severe schizophrenia and BPD. She eventually developed prosthetics in the style of Ortho’s legs she wears in her personal life, but at NRC she wears near indistinguishable realistic ones out of fear of sticking out even more. The trauma from everything and lack of proper help eventually lead to cutting herself regularly; specifically at her shoulders.

She realized she was attracted to men around 14-15 through BL. (I will never stop saying DMMD Changed Her Life and she is still in love with Clear to this day. People don’t compare her to Yaoi Jesus for nothing.) It was around her second year when her egg cracked (this time it was Touhou) and she realized she wasn’t a little gayboy.

By her third year she was boymoding; to feel more comfortable she started wearing sports bras and panties underneath her uniform to feel at least a little more like a girl. She was much more openly A Girl online in MMOs and Discord servers based around breaking Mario 64 down to its metaphorical molecular level.

In her fourth year she Finally gets on meds, and the side effect of Risperdal for her Turbo Psychosis gives her gynecomastia. After she’s graduated she goes on E, which, uh. Combined with the Risperdal ends up being very kind to her.

She only ever goes on E, she’s got breast development covered and her genitals don’t particularly bother her. Over time she gets mild shrinkage and gets less erect, which is all she really needs to feel herself. In general, she’s more focused on if she feels like a girl in her body as opposed to if she passes.

I know I said it but she is SUCH a Thigh Highs tgirl. She has ones that accommodate her legs and she basically can’t live without a pair on, they’re SUPER comfy for her. She also dresses like a Hot Topic egirl LMAO… short black skirts, big comfy t shirts and sweaters, some comfy dresses along with really nice ones when she does go out. I have like an entire image board I made of her the other night.

Also I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: regardless of what gender you view Idia as, she wears cat eye glasses. Nobody has good vision looking close to the screen in the dark as she does, and the second she heard “cat” she didn’t bother looking at any other options.

I don’t want to talk about yume stuff because it’s REALLY embarrassing but smfns my sona is a girlmoding (outside of NRC) trans man and as they get closer and start dating over the years they transition together… it’s a very close and intimate thing for both of them. They also have 3 cats (a white one named Clear, a gray one named Ryoji, and my queen and god.) And Ortho and CR-BS01 and 02 live with them also… a happy family.

I think they eventually have kids after Idia’s nerves are calmed about the curse (she gets pregnant because I’m sure as HELL not making a self insert not have phallo let alone have a uterus. This is a universe where a guy can turn people into sand I’m sure fertility treatments for people without vaginas exist), and none of the kids end up inheriting it because her and her parents have successfully handled the phantoms :)

Epel Felmier For Real This Time- Trans Man, Gay, He/Him***

My masc king… I feel like I don’t really have to discuss his transness; he’s overwhelmingly the most popular transcanon for a reason LMAO But just for the sake of it: his docile feminine frame and being compared to femininity bothers him significantly, and he much more desires to be seen as masculine and tough. It really isn’t that hard to see him as a trans guy (speaking as a trans guy who relates to him myself).

His chest is a modest B-C cup, but that still gives him dysphoria and stresses him out when he wears binders. He has much, MUCH more severe bottom dysphoria, though. (matchies with his housewarden OMG) Unlike Riddle, though, Epel goes All In when he gets his phallo size.

He also visits Queendom of Roses with Deuce more often and regularly after Rabbitfes so Dylla can sneak him some T. MILF of the world. Please god just one cha

(His family supports him. It’s just he’s so out in the middle of nowhere T is hard to get. That’s what his MILF in law is for.)

Him and Deuce settle on his farm with Deuce as a mechanic, both for vehicles in Harveston and also the surrounding area past it. (He may or may not get well known and a lot of clients from blastcycle customs too)

They adopt a boy and it’s literally just their Gay Masc Life on the Family Farm. No girls allowed.

***Unsurprisingly, I also do not like any works featuring fem!Epel; my stances on it are the same as my ones on Riddle.

NOT FEATURED IN THIS POST: Ruggie is simultaneously a gay twink and a butch lesbian at the same time. His gender is an enigma even to me.

[adoremexxs]

Sekido and Aizetsu Modern Headcanons

i love writing for sekido.

warnings: mentions of sh, smoking, i always make these so angsty

Sekido

OH MY GOD

i love this man

so hands up by 6arelyhuman is one of his favorite songs

if karaku catches him singing it, he gets mad

and throws things at karaku bc karaku loves teasing him

sekido is EXTREMELY skilled at archery

the way his arms pull the bow back with such strength, his veins bulging out and his hair up in a bun

he’s so fine

he gets extremely stressed so he has resulted to smoking weed from time to time and to smoking cigarettes

he keeps the cigarettes hid from his brothers but most of them all know about it

he just doesn’t want aizetsu to find out

sekido and karaku are the only brothers who have kept their long locks

sekido wears it up in a bun whenever he is doing activities or uses a head scarf (what Uta wears) to pull it back when cleaning or doing chores

he does most of the chores around the house, aizetsu helps him but he mainly cleans bc urogi and karaku def don’t clean

zohakuten has jokingly called him mom or mother a couple of times

whenever it’s raining, he loves it, he relaxes so much more

he sits in his room, by the window to watch the rain go “pit-pat” against the window, a book of poetry sat in his lap

he wears sweaters a lot

especially at home when it’s that cozy fall or winter weather

he LOVES fall or winter but gets pissed when it’s too cold or wet to do anything

sekido constantly needs to move around or engage his mind or else he doesn’t know what to do

aizetsu sometimes comes into his room and lays on his bed to sleep or just talk to him

“sekido, are you alright? you look a bit upset…”

“perfectly fine, zetsu…”

“you know you can tell me anything, ‘kido…”

Sekido lets Aizetsu vent or cry to him no matter HOW annoying he can be

Whenever Aizetsu’s toxic ex girlfriend cheated on him with Douma of all people, Sekido threatened to beat him up

And he did

Though Aizetsu didn’t want him too

Sekido and Aizetsu are pretty close

Aizetsu is his baby brother, he must take care of him

He has to take care of them all

Whenever Sekido found out about Karaku’s incident, he didn’t talk to him for a week

he couldn’t process it

why would his little brother do something like that?

something so stupid!

it infuriated him so much that he didn’t want to see karaku’s face

it pained him too much

but eventually they started talking again

enough with the sappy shit

karaku made sekido be an art model for a day

it was a harmless idea

but man did it boost sekido’s ego, they all made him look so good, so sculpted

but our bbg is already perfect

sekido doesn’t know how gorgeous he is

A LOT of girls have a crush on him

but he scares everyone off by being so harsh and mean

it’s even hotter to watch him practice soccer, football or archery

his legs are massive, he legit has massive thighs and calves

he takes all his anger out on football and soccer

can play the violin and piano

wears earrings, usually gold

has matching nipple piercings w/ karaku and urogi

they did it while he was asleep

he’s a deep sleeper, he can sleep through anything

he slept thru getting his nipples pierced

sekido was pissed when he saw them and urogi and karaku were forced to clean the entire house as punishment

gets in a lot of fights

the BIGGEST daddy issues

legit has the biggest daddy issues and anger issues

karaku deals with his daddy n mommy issues by sleeping with multiple people

sekido deals with his daddy n mommy issues by beating the shit out of people and having extreme negative thoughts

his mental health is shit

he suffered from self harm for awhile, he always wears long sleeves even in 100 degree weather

karaku always thought it was strange but he legit didn’t think anything of it. he thought sekido just likes long sleeves

he’s recovered now, thank goodness

also goes to therapy

after what happened with Zohakuten, he felt terrible because he had become just like their father

he’s doing a lot better now

Aizetsu

oh aizetsu

he’s one of the sweetest brothers

Him and Urogi get along but Urogi’s teasing makes him sad sometimes

Urogi immediately apologizes

He spends most of his time with Sekido

Especially in his room

he’ll lay on Sekido’s bed to nap or read to just talk to his big brother and Sekido will listen

he legit cried his heart out when his toxic gf cheated on him

Sekido awkwardly comforted and then took Aizetsu to a bunny cafe to cheer him up

Aizetsu LOVES bunnies

And collecting crystals with Urogi

His love for bunnies is extreme

He begs Sekido for one

Sekido says no everytime but if Aizetsu wants a bunny plushie, he’ll buy it

which resulted in Aizetsu’s bed being filled with bunny plushies

some are in his closet

he has too many

wears bunny jewelry

like bracelets or necklaces sometimes

Karaku would tease him for his love for bunnies, saying that he is like Zohakuten who has a childish obsession with dragons

Zohakuten beats Karaku up for that

Him and Urogi will practice soccer together or sometimes, very rarely, work out together

Aizetsu doesn’t work out really, his muscle is all from genetics and doing sports

He does track and soccer so his legs are naturally built

He bruises very easily

Also gets hurt easily which has Urogi and Sekido fussing over him

Urogi is very protective over Aizetsu because he doesn’t want his brother to be hurt at all

That’s why he played a prank on Aizetsu’s toxic ex-girlfriend because it’s not like he can beat her up

They got Daki to do that instead

He times it perfectly

He was on the second floor and leaning out the window with a bucket of green slime, obviously Karaku was with him

He dumped slime on her head

Aizetsu was so embarrassed that Urogi did that

but also thought it was funny and deserved

Aizetsu took up fencing as a past time

He’s really good at it and he enjoys it

is depressed and has to take medication

he is slowly getting better

distracting himself is his way of escaping it

he has a beautiful singing voice

he can sing them high notes

can play the violin as well

him and urogi match sometimes

is lowkey obsessed with “Love is a waste of time” by Lovely Peaches and “I know you” by Faye Webster

I know you is his crying song

he pretends he’s in an edit sometimes when he is alone

it’s very funny

Blew up on tiktok

he is legit known as the “sad hot guy”

is ashamed of his title

but his followers have boosted his confidence a bit

karaku has tried to get famous on tiktok too

“we legit should start a tiktok with all four of us”

“that’s a terrible idea, karaku. you’ll just hog all the attention!”

“no i won’t!”

even though his brothers all argue and give Aizetsu a headache, he still loves them a lot

[ejzah]

A/N: A random little dive into Deeks’ thoughts as he returned to NCIS in season five and tried to pull himself together. I’m not quite sure this is as cohesive as I’d like.

***

Survivor

Deeks had told Nate he wasn’t sure why being tortured by Sidorov sent him into such a spiral. Why he suffered from nightmares, flashbacks, and insomnia from this incident and not another. With a bit more distance, he knows the answer.

He’s been battling traumatic events his whole life. From his dad beating him and his mom, to shooting Gordon in self defense, to dozens of near misses in the undercover unit, it makes sense that his mind finally gave in.

He remembers when he was eleven and at one of his mandatory counseling sessions. His therapist, a nice enough woman who in retrospect seemed a little too emotionally effected by his story, told him how brave and strong he was. At the time he’d wanted to tell her that he didn’t feel brave, or strong, or dangerous, or any of the attributes people had applied to him in the weeks since he shot his dad.

He’d felt scared. Guilty. Angry at times.

Over the years, he’s gone to therapy more times that he can recall, but it’s never really worked. You had to have trust for that to happen. Even with Nate, he knew his deepest fears and revelations would likely be reported back to Hetty.

So yeah, it was only a matter of time before the cumulative trauma broke him. He’s actually a little surprised it didn’t happen sooner.

His return to NCIS post surprise dental work and the subsequent summer spent piecing himself back together has been uncertain at best. Callen watches him to see if he’s going to freeze and mess up. Kensi watches with thinly veiled concern, hyper-attuned to every little change and new quirk, every potential sign of PTSD. In a way, he’s grateful that he finally has people concerned about him, even if it goes back to his ability to shoot a gun and root out bad guys.

For the first few weeks back, every morning is a fight to get up and go back to the place that caused the most recent pain instead of crawling into bed and shutting out the world. He forces himself to play the clown as expected, threaten when needed, shoot that damn gun again. He does it every day, and eventually it becomes more natural again. Because fighting back is all he’s ever known.

Sam tells him he’s never met anyone stronger than Deeks. He shot his dad to save his mom. He endured torture to save Michelle. Because he’s a survivor.

He’s not brave, he’s not strong. He just survives.