#He Got Paid For This

[clownprince]

as a nursing student w a psych hyperfixation i wouldn't be able to get through five pages of any comic if i wasn't able to suspend the hell out of disbelief but every time i read these lines in particular it makes my eye twitch. me when i spend time training with monks who teach me their secret monk magic powers that somehow change my body's physiology so i'm immune to every paralytic toxin ever... like what type of gary stu overpowered self insert fanfic bullshit is this. actually scratch that comparing this to fanfic is insulting to every fic writer ever. i would pay money to personally fistfight scott lobdell

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Mikes and Vanessas talk about money struggles,,

[fryologyy]

falin taking a very large birdbath [speedpaint]

[house-in-country]

Decided to rewatch "Dragons: Race to the Edge", and this image has been haunting my mind ever since Hiccup refered to the dragon riders as "gang" for the first time.

Now shall it live in your heads rent free for the rest of eternity.

[friendly-neighborhood-furry]

for anyone who doesn't have the Return YouTube Dislike Plugin, here's how Watcher Entertainment's "Goodbye Youtube" video is doing right now

yeah... gonna throw out a yikes on that one

i suspect this number will only keep growing in the coming days/weeks, especially the longer and longer we go without any sort of response.

EDIT: its only been three hours and the number has already jumped to 206K dislikes.

[fluffyartbl0g]

PFTDGEHSJSJDYTE I CANT BELIEVE MONKEY D. LUFFY HAS TAKEN OVER TUMBLR!!!

At first sight I was like, oh cool! I see they’ve added a Luffy tab on my dashboard, because I love one piece. And then I look down the luffy tag,,, AND THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO JUST. DON’T KNOW WHO HE IS XD. That must mean THEY’VE JUST ADDED HIM TO EVERYONE’S DASHBOARDS WAHAHAHA!

First of all, it’s pronounced loo-fee. Second of all, he’s from hit series One Piece and you better not forget it!!!

[kineticpenguin]

I love how Musk has given trolls a financial incentive to post the dumbest shit imaginable

[maesonc-artistic-adventures]

Based on Chapt 13 of @cutebutalsostabby ‘s fanfic “Big Oof 2022, aka Whumptober”

“‘You,’ Hyrule declared furiously, ‘are an absolute, complete dumbass.’

Lying prone on the ground with a deeply pissed-off mage looming above his head, it was rather difficult for Warriors to argue the point. He gave a weak thumbs up and croaked back, ‘Yep.’

Hyrule shook his head disbelievingly and announced, ‘You and Legend give me shit for this all the time, but you’re both equally as bad.’

Warriors nodded. ‘Very true,’ he rasped peaceably. ‘Be sure to learn from our bad examples.’”

————————————

Hyrule and Warrior’s dynamic is so excellent and few do it as well as this fic!

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Bruce Wayne: I’ll pay you to stop killing people.

Jason Todd: Mm… nah.

Bruce Wayne: You’d actually pass up five thousand dollars… every month, to kill people for this fruitless journey?

Jason Todd blinks looking up from his gun.

Jason: Five thousand dollars... A month?!

Bruce: I can increase it.

Jason: You can increase it?

Dick Grayson falls from the side of the door where he and Tim were eavesdropping.

Dick: I wasn’t even paid that much until I left home.

Tim Drake, peeking from his corner: You're getting paid?

Tim: Yeah… great… cotton candy sweet… no but seriously, I want to get paid!

Dick: You can't be paid, Tim. I found out you were embezzling money from his company.

Tim: I needed a skateboard it happened the one time.

Bruce: No it fucking didn't

Dick: Ignoring Tim, I think I get why you're giving him so much money... you actually care about him again that's so sweet. I’m pissed, but so sweet.

Bruce: How did this get introduced into the conversation?

Jason, realizing this as well: Hmm… admit it. You care about me.

Bruce Wayne: I’m not… that is not…Justice matters here. I am simply teaching you that the true justice is not killing people and seeing as you won’t listen to reason, I thought I could give you something better. So you don’t keep doing this and you don’t get hurt or worse.

Tim Drake, stunned: Oh my God, you do care.

Bruce: Where did I say I care about him? I want to protect this… man, he is a grown man, who I adopted when he was a child, yes. I do appreciate him being around and don’t want him to die... again. I have him back in my life and I want to keep it that way.

Dick Grayson, crossing his arms: That was a long-winded way to say that, yes he does care about you. Aww!

Jason: I’m so torn. On one hand, jeez that's a lot of money... on the other hand… guns? Tsk, tsk, okay say the words, point blank, that you care about me and I’ll stop killing people that I see deserve a bullet through the brain or pay me. Tick tock, detective.

Bruce Wayne, visibly embarrassed because his tough guy persona is falling: Five thousand and I send you weapons every month to end this conversation.

Jason: All right! I’ll do it, just sign this contract.

Jason pulls out a contract in backpack.

Bruce: You have a contract? I… You… I need a moment.

Bruce turns around, pretending to look like he thinks but is trying to hide his smile.

Bruce: Okay, sure, I’ll look over this. I’m impressed, did you type this?

Jason: Wrote it by hand. Calligraphy practice paid off.

Bruce: I’m not saying it… but thank you for showing this side of yourself.

[kacievvbbbb]

The Red Hair Pirates Navigator gets sick or something while Mihawk is visiting and Mihawk, who rides around on an overgrown raft and has probably never steered an actual real ship in his life but loves a challenge, volunteers himself as a stand in while acting like they've forced his hand.

So it's just like

Absolutely No one:

Mihawk (sighing) : I guess since you've begged I'll do it 🙄

And Shanks is so excited because Mihawk is actually taking a vested interest in his crew and this is probably the closest he will get at having him as an official rhp and of course watching Mihawk do piratey things he rarely does is very hot.

Everyone else has a couple of......questions

Benn: I've never seen Hawkeyes use a map before, I'm not even sure he own's a log pose.

Shanks (insanely whipped would let Mihawk crash them into the rocks like a sailor to a siren call) : But he get's where he needs to go and that's the important bit.

Mihawk gives directions that the helmsmen has never heard of in his life, never actually opens a map navigates soley on memory, they don't see a single Island for days and he leaves the crew wondering how exactly it is he ever gets anywhere. They still somehow arrive 3 days earlier than expected.

[omgthatdress]

Anyway, just so we're clear: it's perfectly fine to feel hurt & betrayed when your fave celeb does something shitty, it's okay to have complicated feelings about a celeb you once loved who did shitty things.

The unhealthy thing is to just dig in and insist that they did nothing wrong, and to take any criticism of said celebrity as a personal insult to you.

When there is no separation between your love for a certain celebrity and who you are as a person, that is not healthy and that is no way to live.

[sleepyorc]

ORC FACTS

Orcs go crazy over labour rights. Are you not getting paid overtime? Why not tell an Orc and they'll give your employer a bit of... Gentle Persuasion...

[the-crooked-library]

the vampire lestat dropped his single a DAY ago and his stans are already having beef with swifties… 🖐️💀 guys chill you’re both having mental breakdowns to shitty lyrics, literally nobody else gives a fuck

[yuwuta]

gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 

[zer0point5ive]

whatever they’ve got going on

[potatopassenger]

In Loguetown Luffy and Zoro going for lunch both expecting the other to pay and then both being like why would you expect ME to have any money they really are two halves of the same idiot