#Haven't used that one in a long time oof

[eremin0109]

The dinner meetings of Han Ki-wan, Do Hae-won and Lee Changjin must be really fucking entertaining from Changjin's point of view. It's just watching these two privileged fuckers silently lose their shit because their sons absolutely refuse to listen to them and the cheeky inspector that is the bane of their existence is unfortunately also the guy their sons want to fuck.

[cyberrose2001]

Under Pressure

MTMTE Rodimus x Reader

GRAHH SURPRISE!!!!

Relic and I have been... discussing... very hard about an ask they got a couple days ago so I wrote this eheh (THANK YOU FOR DISCUSSING THIS WITH ME AND LETTING ME WRITE THIS ILY)

Also please yell at me if I forgot any warnings!

Loosely based of this ask over on @callsign-relic's blog

Warnings: Human reader, Giant/Tiny, Dub-Con(?), Nocturnal emission, Crack fic(?)

Word count: 1,887

18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

Rodimus denies it every time, but he's a heavy sleeper. He snores like a congested rhino; he constantly sets twelve alarms that only barely stir him from his slumber. Despite being captain of the ship, his sleep schedule is far from tip-top shape.

And no, you're not a stalker. You're just Rodimus' observant little 'pet' human, always there, with a California king on his bedside dresser. Yeah, you're treated like royalty by an incredibly hard-to-deny hot alien robot.

So, as the ship ventured further into deep space and the nights got colder, you whined and begged to stay with him.

Rodimus was very hesitant to let you join him in the berth. As much as he cared about you and would kill an army for you, he didn't want to accidentally kill you, which was very much a possibility in any scenario on this ship. But he caved. You had mastered the sad, wet cat look, and Rodimus had the willpower of a rock.

Relishing in victory, you're curled up comfortably against Rodimus' lower plating for the third consecutive night in a row, warmed by the large servo of a sleeping giant. The entire palm of his hand covers your back in subconscious protection, and every so often, you feel a twitch of one digit. It's tranquility and a rare comfort, the touch of another you haven't felt since being on earth.

Until he rolls over.

Rodimus, choking on his snores, flips over onto his stomach and nearly tosses you off the berth if not for the grip he has on you. Despite almost winding you and making an audible 'Oof' sound, he doesn't wake up, his unconscious body assuming another comfortable position.

It takes you a few moments to register what the fuck just happened, but you realise that you're now underneath Rodimus. Almost his entire body weight is now pressed against you and pins you to the berth.

Oh god, you think to yourself.

This is less than ideal; this was not supposed to happen. How the hell are you, a tiny ass human, supposed to get out from under him? You probably shouldn't even be alive right now with how restricted your breathing is, not to mention how hard he flopped on top of you. But thankfully, with how Rodimus' legs have fallen into position, it leaves you with just enough room for your chest to rise and fall.

"God." You whine, muffled as your cheeks squish against his abdominal plating.

Your mind runs wild as you try to think of a way out. Maybe he'll just roll over again soon? God, you hope so; you can handle only so much weight, and Rodimus feels like he could hold down a cargo ship. Probably because he can.

But until then, however long that may be, you need to try something at least.

"Rodimus?" You try to wiggle but to no avail. He has you pinned pinned, and you use what little breath you have to yell out to him, "Hello? Are you awake or what?"

A loud, seemingly exaggerated snore replies to you. He's still deep in recharge, ruining any chance you have of waking him up yourself. You try to use your nails to scratch the surface of his frame, hoping it would tickle him or something, but that doesn't work either.

"Great." You roll your eyes, only you would ever end up in this type of situation. If only you had listened to Rodimus when he first said no, then you wouldn't be currently experiencing a near death experi-

"Y/n..." Rodimus' hoarse voice crackles above you, sending vibrations through your bones.

"Oh, thank god," You sigh in relief. You attempt to wiggle around some more, hoping to get his attention this time, "Listen, can you get off me now? This kinda hur-"

You squeak softly in pain as his sharp pelvis presses against you, and you hear your name again. This time, though, the tone of his voice came out as a whine, like a soft plea.

Because of where you were positioned before you became a pea under a princess' tower of mattresses, Rodimus' lower panels rested right against your stomach. This means you can feel his panels start to bulge slightly.

Oh no, you think to yourself bleakly once again. You're not sure how similar Cybertronian anatomy is to humans, apart from a crude explanation by an engex drunk Swerve. Still, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're feeling him getting hard. Putting two-and-two together using two out of the five senses, you've realised that Rodimus is nearly boner deep in a wet dream.

And not to assume, but you're thinking that the star of the show is you.

It's also the wrong time to cackle to yourself about getting crushed by your crush.

You might have some issues to work out after with Rung.

"Oh fuck," You reasonably panic, trying to push against his heavy frame weakly with your pinned arms, "Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck-"

You start to thrash against Rodimus when your arms fail, your tiny body rubbing up against him. This doesn't help at all, you've come to realise but actually digs you in a deeper hole as he begins to rock his pelvis into you.

Rodimus moans your name again as he sleepily grinds against you. Whatever he's dreaming of, it must be an insanely hot pornographic fantasy of you. The bulge grows bigger, pining you down further into the berth. He shutters and lets out a soft groan before his plating shifts, and you feel a very thick, very hard, and very hot object slide up against you.

Oh god, it's his dick.

Swerve might not have told you all the details, but he seemed to conveniently leave out how fucking huge Cybertronian cocks are.

As if you thought this couldn't get any more debilitating, you now have the head of Rodimus' spike pressing against your face. It's as if the Alaskan bull worm had slithered up between yourself and Rodimus to give you a kiss. The behemoth of baggage has already started leaking what you would believe would be the Cybertronian equivalent to pre-cum, smearing all across your face.

At this significant turn of events, you've realised you have come to a crossroads.

Either struggle and continue to wiggle and wrangle your way out from under him, but risk pleasuring him, whether or not he could feel you squirming against him anyway with how small you are compared to it. Or, the more realistic and obtainable outcome, lie still and take it until he wakes up from an orgasm.

Who are you kidding? You don't have much of a choice at all. Both options risk you drowning in alien robot cum. It's wishful thinking as Rodimus starts to rut against your entire body again.

"Y/n..." He whimpers again, though very garbled and unintelligible. Every roll of his hips causes more pre-cum to dribble against your face and down your chest, and with each, it spreads all around in between yourself and his train-sized spike. Making an absolute mess of you.

If you weren't getting humped up against right now, you would indeed find a way to kill him for ruining your only set of pajamas.

"Rodimus-" You gag as a spurt of pre-cum falls into your mouth, "Guh- Rodimus stop-"

His work of venting increases, and so does his rutting. The comatose mech gasps and hitches his breath, oblivious to your cries and pleas for him to stop. He pushes up against you in heated desperation, fucking into your soft body like a grind pad.

"Rodimus! Wake the fuck up!" You start to heat up yourself; the increased pressure and friction of his plating will give you a fucked up version of carpet burn if he doesn't wake up. Sweat drips from your skin, adding even more lubricant to his incessant grinding.

"Wha- Oh, Primus!" Rodimus rears his drool-covered helm and cries out in equal confusion and unrestrained pleasure. He's woken up by his overload as he shoots his load up against you, flooding the minimal empty space left between you both with hot transfluid.

"Oh god-" You couldn't close your mouth in time when a spurt of transfluid hit you in the face, causing you to cough and spit it back out, only for more to splat you in the face.

Rodimus moans tiredly, shuttering violently as his spike pulses and leaks the remainder of his overload against the berth.

Or what he thought was the berth. Since when did he use a self-service mod on his spike? Especially when he shares a room with-

"Hey!" Cough, "Are you done?"

His optics slam open in horrific realisation.

"Oh no," Rodimus rolls over onto his back, his softened wet spike flopping against his abdominal plating, "Oh no, no, no..."

He looks down where he once lay, and his face plates flush a bright blue. Laying in a puddle of his transfluids was you, his little human, sopping wet with a highly unimpressed look on your tiny face.

"Oh Primus, Y/n," Rodimus scoops you up in his servos, gently tossing you from hand to hand as he wrings them off his transfluids, "I am so sorry, I- frag what was I thinking!" Rodimus babbles and holds you to his face, "Are you okay? God, I'm so stupid-"

"Ughh," You lay limply in his palm, exhausted and out of breath, "After that... I don't know anymore."

Rodimus hides his blush with a servo before pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'm glad you're okay, but what were you doing down there?"

"Great question," You lift your head up to deadpan him, then eventually drag yourself to sit up. Sticky, pink transfluid drips down your body. Your face, and hair, are all drenched in him, "It's not like you rolled over in your sleep and had me pinned for nearly half an hour. What the hell?"

Rodimus blinks, and his face turns a deeper shade of blue as he rubs the back of his neck, "Oh, so that's why I had that dream about you..."

Is he serious right now?

"Oh, you think?" You wipe your lip when it starts to drip into your mouth, "I think I could tell when you started moaning my name in your sleep."

"Well, you're just so tiny and soft and-" The red and yellow mech bites the knuckles of the servo not holding you in embarrassment. "But what was I supposed to do, huh? Hold it in?"

God, he is.

"I'm literally gonna kill you, Rodimus." You shiver, his transfluids cooling against your skin. You can't believe he dares to look you in the eye, "I am never begging to nap with you ever again, or maybe at least warn me next time."

"No offense taken," Rodimus nods in agreement for once, watching you wring your hair out, "I'm sorry, Y/n, I really am. I can help clean you up? As a sincere apology from yours truly?"

"As long as I don't come into contact with more of this stuff," You flick a bead of transfluid off your finger into his direction, "And you better be sorry, or it'll be a long time before I might actually let you fuck me."

"Wait, you'll what-" Splat, "EWUGH!!"

[chaostudee]

i love you i'm sorry part three, charles leclerc + jude bellingham.

summary : y/n and charles tease the public on their relationship for awhile but in an after match interview jude spills all. faceclaim : cindy kimberly a/n : hope you like it <3 i spent so long trying to edit those wings onto her omgg 😭😭 also sorry i haven't been posting school is actually rly taking up most of my time rn but u will try to be more consistent xx

charlesleclerc the best weekend with the best of company

liked by y/nusername, landonorris, carlossainz and 4,728,920 others.

carlossainz do you mean me or y/n??

user829 YES YES THIS IS WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW

username_78 BAHAHA CARLOS f1fan proof we all just want to know whether they are back together or not

user627 i spot y/nnn

user11 race was crazyyyy

f1lover YES NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT user52 the overtake into turn one by charles 🤯

justaninchident jude is fuming rn

y/nusername austin gp 🏎🏁

》 ughh imagine this being your camera roll

》 MOM AND DAD

》 stopppp

》 DON'T PLAY WITH ME Y/N

》 tweaking rn

》 this whole love triangle is so messy but i love it 🙈

y/nusername ig dreams do come true 🫠🪽🌸

liked by charlesleclerc, kikagomez, haileybieber and 8,516,718 others.

user728 MOTHER

username_15 oh i fearrr this is the best thing everrrr

haileybieber had the best time with you <33

y/nusername love u smm sweet girl

user891 omggg you don't know how much this means to me so so so proud of you y/n !!! you deserve this sm 🫶

y/nlover charles supporting her was the so sweet and his smile when she walked past i can'tttt

user007 omggg frrr i was screaming and kicking my feet

user52 i shed a tear

username11 the most deserving x

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

messages between charles and y/n

what are we doing charles y/n

wdym charles

yk what i mean y/n

we're having fun charles

😒 y/n

what do u want me to say charles

forget it y/n

no seriously tell me charles

i want to get back together y/n

espn

liked by justaninchident, user627, username_78 and 562,920 others.

user627 WHAT WHAT

f1fan y/n rly hurt him

username lets be real y/n never actually wanted him i'd say she just used jude to make him jealous

user72 omggg wtff did y/n do to him

username700 there is no way charles and y/n can be happy about this

f1lover poor guy

user42 the media just love to create drama so typical

y/nusername

》 so so gorge

》 we need fit details girl !!

》 the prettiest girl

》 charles defo took this pic

judebellingham having a gf is overrated anyway.

liked by footballfan2, user62, f1lover and 3,829,331 others.

user729 oof

username okay king speak your truth 🙌

user627 FIRST THE INTERVIEW AND NOW THIS OMG

f1fan frrr like pop off jude

user41 whatt is going onnn

username47 this has gotten so messy omds

f1lover caption is crazyyy

anon y/n is overrated anyways

username11 side note jude us hot asff

y/nusername photoshoot with vogue.

liked by charlesleclerc, judebellingham, lilymunihe and 527,929 others.

user62 im drooling

username92 i'm so jelly of charles and jude

f1fan MOTHER !!

user51 oh she ate and she devoured

username00 and she left no crumbs

user72 care to comment on what jude said about you??

username wtff this acc none of your business leave her alone

user182 our unbothered queen

username52 vogue is a y/n stan, as they should be

charlesleclerc great weekend ! thanks to all the fans for coming out, always appreciate your support now onto the next one.

liked by y/nusername, carlossainz, landonorris and 1,201,722 others.

username72 charles back on the podium oh yesss

user47 so ready for next week !!

f1fan amazing performance charles we love youuuu smm

username31 missed y/n at the paddock this weekend

user52 ugh me too f1lover i think she had a photoshoot this weekend sadly

f1user ferarri are so going to win the constructors

user42 no MCLAREN

username66 charles cooked this weekend

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between jude and y/n

do uuu sthill uve me jude

oh god are u drunk y/n

drunk? me plssss you are sooo crazyyywy jude

tell me your location and ill get charles to pick you up y/n

i don't want charless silly i want you baby jude

jude pls don't we broke up it's over between us y/n

i can't just let you go jude

you have to y/n

y/nusername back with my angel boy

liked by charlesleclerc, rebeccadonaldson, lewishamilton and 826,920 others.

user828 GIRL JUST TELL US ARE U BACK TOGETHER WITH CHARLES OR NOT

username stop teasing usss i'm annoyed noww

f1fan awww leo and y/n

username12 the flower clip is so adorbs i need

user142 mom and son back together finally

username00 now we just need mom and dad 😭❤️

f1lover oh how i love y/n

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

judebellingham just wanted to come on here to apologize on my behaviour on here and with the media over the past few weeks. i also apologize to y/n and charles. jude.

user738 NOOO THE PR TEAM GOT TO HIM

user00 rip to unhinged jude u will be missed

f1fan the way i giggled

user72 this cant be real 😭😭

username27 oh shit he fucked up baddd

user11 plsss

username662 someone's manager is not happy

f1lover he was angry god let him live

y/nusername felt pretty.

liked by charlesleclerc, haileybieber, oscarpiastri and 1,616,022 others.

charlesleclerc the things i want to do to you....

user72 BEING HORNY ON THE MAIN IS CRAZZYY username22 omggg charlesss wtfff f1fan screaminggg user00 oh we are so back user133 ladies and gentlemen charles leclerc

user61 holy lord

username78 most gorgoeus woman on earth

f1lover y/n is so stunning oml

user82 WE BREATHE THE SAME AIR?!?!

user90 *sighs*

charlesleclerc i'm so lucky.

liked by y/nusername, carlossainz, oscarpiastri and 2,231,824 others.

y/nusername we're lucky*

user72 stopp they are so cute i could cry

username let's hope they are endgame this time

user23 yesss i need them to get married

f1fan will forever love them

user62 just going to go lay down on the highway brb

username12 so not jelly so not jelly :)

f1lover 💗💗

taglist⭑.ᐟ

@lottalove4evelyn

@mxryxmfooty

@hadidsworld

@llando4norris

@sweetestgirlintown111

@depressedriches

@love2readd

@janeh22

@seonghwaexile

@nichmeddar

@heavy-vettel

[wcnderlnds]

drive ins and twinkie kisses | peter maximoff

・❥・ summary: peter takes you to the movies and uses his favourite snack to make a move ・❥・word count: 1.2k ・❥・warnings: none really. just kissing. ・❥・ authors note: i haven't wrote in a week because i've been sick but this idea came to me after some shenanigans in the evanverse server so <3

The new drive-in opening had been the latest buzz around town. Anywhere you went, everyone was talking about it to the point that you needed to go check it out yourself. All your friends had already been and were raving about it but you? Well, you didn’t exactly have anyone to go with. The night your friends had gone, you’d been on a mission with the X-Men so, although they’d invited you, you’d had to decline. The frown on your face anytime someone brought the drive-in up was enough to melt even the coldest of hearts including Peter Maximoff. Now, he wasn’t heartless – not at all but he wasn’t one to cave in just by seeing a pretty face. He had resisted for as long as he could but he couldn’t take it anymore when he saw you sat looking miserable when you had yet to pass up another opportunity to go.

“Okay, fine,” he sighed heavily, arms folded across his chest as he appeared in front of you in a blur of silver. “I’ll take you but don’t make a big deal about it or anyth- oof.”

Peter stumbled back slightly as you threw yourself at him, arms wrapping around his midsection while you hugged the life out of him. His hands hovered in the air, awkwardly wondering what the hell to do with them. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone - other than Kurt because for some reason he liked to tell him everything - Peter wasn’t the best when it came to physical affection or relationships. Maybe it was the lack of experience. Or maybe he was just a complete idiot whose brain short circuited at the feeling of another person touching him. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been in relationships before. He had but they hadn’t lasted longer than a few months before he lost interest or they got fed up with his consistent need to be moving. With you, you seemed to have captivated his interest the moment he met you. He remembered the day so vividly – how you’d walked into the mansion looking lost, almost scared. He’d been zooming through the halls but had come to a comedic halt when he spotted you. Introductions had been made thanks to him worming his way into Hank who had been giving you a tour of the place and it had gone from there. 

Peter found himself wanting to make you smile. On those dark, dreary days where he got lost in his own mind, the image of you smiling could always make things seem a little brighter. The fact you’d been moping around the mansion for the last week just didn’t sit well with him at all. If he had to take you to the drive-in himself then so be it. He could totally sit through a movie with you. Totally.

…so, maybe he couldn’t. Being in a car in the first place was enough for him to go on a rant about how he was much faster and cars were pointless to him but then there was the fact that he had to sit still for at least two hours. It was enough to drive the poor man crazy. A form of torture. His eyes darted around the place, the car full of all the candy wrappers the two of you had been eating since you’d first drove in. His deep brown eyes zoned in on you, the corners of his lips quirking up into a soft smile. Just watching you focus on the movie was enough to calm him, the knee he’d been bouncing up and down slowly coming to a halt. How was it you could make him such a mess yet so calm at the same time? Realising he should probably stop staring at you before he seemed like a creep, he eyed the last Twinkie sitting in the middle of you both.

His hand reached out to grab it but you must have had the same thought because he felt your fingers brushing against his. Peter instantly looked up, his eyes catching yours. “You tryna steal the last Twinkie from me, huh?”

“You were trying to steal it from me!” You protested, cheeks flushing. The feeling of his fingers touching your skin still sending shockwaves through you.

“Me, steal? Never. Can’t believe you’d accuse me of such a thing.”

“Okay, Mr Kelpto.”

Using his super speed, Peter quickly snatched the Twinkie, unwrapping it. “Okay, here’s an idea. I’ll eat from one end and you eat from the other. I won’t even cheat and use my super speed to eat more than you,” Peter stuffed one end in his mouth before you could reply, his hand gesturing for you to take the other end.

Peter could feel his heart beating a mile a minute as he began to chew the sugary treat. The closer the two of you got to the middle, the more he realised how stupid of an idea it was. Like, really? What did he think was going to happen? That was the problem – he didn’t think. Peter got an idea and rolled with it without really thinking next. He was almost certain his heart was about to beat out of his chest and fall into his lap as his face got closer to yours. Then he felt it, your lips gently brushing against his as the two of you ate the final piece. That was all it took for his brain to once again short circuit. Throwing all caution to the wind, his hand reached behind the back of your neck to pull you closer, eyes closing at the sensation of your lips against his. The kiss was cautious at first, Peter’s soft lips moving slowly against yours but when he felt your hand resting on his thigh, he gained the confidence to test the waters a little bit more. His tongue darted out across your bottom lip hoping and praying you wouldn’t push him away. When you parted your lips, he felt like he was actually going to ascend into the heavens. There was no way this was actually happening. Was he about to wake up and find out he was dreaming the whole time? He damn well hoped not.

Peter finally, eventually pulled away. His forehead rested against yours, a breathless laugh passed his lips. He took in your face, the slight red tint to your cheeks, your swollen lips and messy hair – he was making sure to take a mental photograph to look back on. This wasn’t something he wanted to forget anytime soon. Not that he wanted to ruin the moment but he had to speak. The silence unsettled him.

“Lady and The Tramp ain’t got nothin’ on us, babe,” he finally pulled away. He gently smoothed your hair down, reluctantly pulling his hand away from you. The music playing in the background caught his attention. His eyes darted to the movie screen seeing the credits rolling. “Oh, shit. We missed the end.”

“...eh, I’m not complaining,” your hands rested on the steering wheel as if you needed to ground yourself from that Earth shattering kiss. The only thought in your brain was how badly you wanted to do it again.

“Yeah? Should I start carrying Twinkies around with me everywhere now?” He raised his brows, leaning back against his cheek with a smirk.

“Yeah, you definitely should.”

taglist (ask to be added or removed): @ldydeath @jazz-berry @lemoniiiiiii @bohnerrific69 @lacucarachapisser @honeymoon8 @evanpetersbf

[boothillssugarmomma]

BOOTHILLSSUGARMOMMA JUMPSCARE!!!

HI EVERYONE ITS BEEN A WHILE HASN'T IT..sorry for that. I know I told everyone I was coming back like so many times but life has been so busy<3, ANYWAYS HERE'S AN ORORON FIC! I'll try to get more fics out fr.

Bats Come Out to Play at Night

(Ororon x fem! reader)

cw-: NSFW 18+, nudity, fem! receiving, male! receiving, blowjob, oral sex, eating out, words like cunt and cock used, teasing, fluffy at the end, established relationship<3

🎀 authorsnote: Ororon is so fine, and ppl can trash on his design..but he's so fine to me fr..

please don't steal my work!

Taglist🎀Genshin Master list🎀Other Lists🎀

18+ .Minors DNI. 18+

You and Ororon haven't seen each other for quite a bit. With him being so busy with the Fatui (yes you do know) and you being preoccupied with steering people AWAY from suspecting your boyfriend. It's been tough to find time to spend together.

Well today was the only day this month to see each other. So you made the plans and agreed to meet him at his place later in the evening.

As time ticks by, Ororon finds himself pacing back and forth in his room, waiting for the moment you would show up. He was restless, a little impatient at this point. He's been WAITING for you, he NEEDED you, he wanted to have you all to himself as you promised. As the hours pass he glances at the door again and again, fidgety, he wants you to be here..right. now.

Around midnight he starts to give up, flopping backwards on his bed and sighing. But he hears a small scratch noise at his window. He sits up and stares at it before it slides open and you fall onto the floor.

Your boyfriend jumps up so fast, his feet almost tripping over themselves. He immediately helps you up and hugs you tightly, mouth curving into a slight smirk.

"Took you long enough.." He pulls away just to gaze at your face, speaking in a slightly teasing tone as he pulls you against him again.

You roll your eyes teasingly. "I'm guessing that means you missed me?" Your breath fans over his neck softly as you kiss his jawline.

He wraps his arms tightly around your waist and looks down at you. Letting out a small huff of amusement with a dash of affection as he speaks again.

"Always my love~" He hums as the smirk from before creeps back onto his lips. He leans down slightly, so his face is almost on the same level as yours.

"You're late sweetheart.." He points out with a pout.

You sigh softly with a mimicking pout. "Kinich needed help with that.. companion..of his." You pinch the bridge of your nose. "I swear that thing is so ANNOYING.."

Ororon's eyes narrow slightly at the mention of Kinich. It always annoys him when you mention that pixelated fool. He wants to be the only one that gets your attention. But this time he just shakes his head and lets out a small sigh instead of complaining.

"Of course he did" He mumbles before he pulls you even closer to him, almost making you stumble against him. "You should be helping me, not him.."

You smile gently as his facial expressions show a hint of jealousy. "Is my boyfriend feeling jealous?" Your teasing tone makes him flush as he buries your face in his neck to hide it. Gently you begin to kiss his neck, peppering his softest spots with your lips.

He lets out a hum of satisfaction as you kiss his neck. He brings a hand up to the back of your head and pushes it closer to his neck, wanting you to keep kissing the sensitive skin.

"I like that.." He mutters, his eyes closing as he lets himself enjoy the feeling. He slowly slides his other hand down to your hip and gently squeezes it, pulling you flush against his body so that your curves are pressed against him.

You take that as a sign and immediately push him backwards to the bed, he falls gently onto the furniture with a small 'oof' his eyes closed.

His eyes open and he stares up at you for a second, he looks a bit flustered at the sudden display of want and need. "Impatient my darling?" He asks, a small smirk dancing on his lips as he looks up at you from the bed.

"Missed you..." You whisper with a small whine, making your way to straddle him. Practically pinning his hips to the bed. Your hair slides over your shoulder to hang but you quickly tie it up. Leaning down you kiss his neck again, sometimes kitten licking soft areas.

Ororon lets out a small sigh of satisfaction as you kiss his neck. He lets his hands rest on your hips, still keeping you in place above him. He tilts his head slightly, giving you more access to his neck.

"I missed you too love..." He mutters between small hums of pleasure. He can feel himself get more excited as you straddle him, his grip on your hips tightening slightly.

Your lips move against his collar bone, trailing up to his jaw until you gently nip at the skin, making him flinch a bit. You smirk at that, getting bolder and biting down.

He lets out a small gasp when you bite his neck. He wasn't expecting the sudden feeling, but still he lets you continue. He lifts one of his hands from your hip and slides it under your shirt, slowly caressing your back with his fingers.

"Mmhm....love...don't leave marks...please.." He mutters in between sighs and hums of pleasure, his face burning up.

You huff softly and lean back. "But whyyyy?" Your movements are driving him insane, the pressure from you moving touching all the right places.

He looks up at you and lets out a small embarrassed noise. "Because...because I don't want everyone to see" He mumbles slightly, a blush appearing on his cheeks.

He would love to have hickies and bite marks all over his neck that everyone would see, that would show to everyone who he belongs too, but he doesn't want Capitano to find him...unprofessional or weird...

His heart sinks as you start to slide off his lap. He knew how that sounded. He notices the look on your face and quickly reaches up to cup your face in his hand, pulling your hip back with the other.

"No, no, don't be sad, please don't be sad!" He whispers quickly, his voice having a small bit of alarm in it. "It's not that I don't want you to, trust me, I do. I really really do, but Capitano and the others might never leave me alone if they see you've left marks on my neck.." His eyes gaze into yours.

You pout some more, bottom lip putting out as you huff. He can't help but sigh lovingly at your little theatrics.

Seeing your pout makes his heart melt. You look so cute when you pout, he also can't help but smile slightly as he looks up at you.

"Love, don't pout please. You're so adorable when you pout but you don't have to look so sad..." He says, his voice soft and comforting. He gently runs his fingers gently over your jaw and his thumb lightly caresses your bottom lip.

You sigh softly and nod. "Fine.." You lean down to kiss his neck, gentler this time, making sure to leave no marks...but you can't get it out of your head...

He bites his lip, closing his eyes as he tilts his head back, giving you better access to his neck. His hands start wandering over your body, slowly caressing up and down your sides as he takes in the feeling of your kisses on his skin.

Your lips pull off from his neck with a quiet pop. "Your shirt would cover this yeah?" Your finger pokes his shoulder.

He opens his eyes and glances at the place you pointed to, his shoulder. His shirt definitely would cover any marks there. He nods and looks back at you, a small, amused smirk on his face

"It does, love~" He responds, practically purring with delight.

Your eyes narrow with lust as you smirk. "Good..then let me just.." Your fingers quickly work to lift his shirt off.

He watches as you slide his shirt up and over his head, revealing his toned body underneath. He lets his arms fall back down on the bed as he lets you take his shirt off, his eyes watching your every move. He lets out a small sigh of anticipation, he knows he's getting excited and his heart just beats faster..

Kissing his neck you make your way to his shoulder and bicep area, biting and nipping away. He lets out a small gasp at the nips and bites against his shoulder. His body involuntarily jerks slightly at the feeling but he lets you continue, his heart rate getting faster as you continue kissing his shoulder and nipping at his skin.

You smirk softly, licking a bite you made. "This ok hon?"

He nods rapidly, still breathing slightly heavily as he answers. "Y-Yes, it's...it's okay" He wants you to keep biting and nibbling at his skin, he loves the way it feels, the feeling of your fucking perfect lips on his body.

You slide back a bit to trail kisses from his chest to his abdomen. Making sure he's watching you as you do. When you reach his belt your eyes lock with his.

He lets out small involuntary gasps as you kiss down his chest and stomach, his body reacting to the feeling of your lips on his skin. He watches as you get lower and lower until you reach his belt. His breath hitches and his heart speeds up as he watches you, eager and excited, waiting for what comes next.

Your hands ghost over his belt clasp, meeting his gaze yet again just to make sure it's ok. And his eyes glint with pure lust, your sign to continue.

He nibbles at his lip as he watches you undo his belt. He can feel his pants already getting slightly tighter as you discard his belt on the floor, making a pile with his shirt. He lets out a small huff of anticipation. He's eager for you to touch him, he needs to feel you, he wants you desperately..

"This ok love?" You smirk seductively at him, eyes hazy with something he knows quite well.

He lets out a small noise at your words and his breath hitches. He looks down at you, his eyes slightly darkened with lust. He nods eagerly to your question, silently begging for you to touch him, to continue.

"Yes, love, yes please!" He all but whines out into the quiet bedroom.

Your hands loop onto his waistband and start to pull down his jeans. He helps you pull his pants down and off and then he's left only in his boxers, still with you on his lap. He swallows and lets out a shaky breath, his heart is racing as he looks up at you, his eyes going dark showing how eager he is to feel you.

You smirk lazily as you push back and drop to the floor, pushing your head in between his legs. He lets out a small gasp as you move between his legs.

His breath hitches, he's very aware of where you are, your face being so close to the area he wants you to be at most, only the thin material of his boxers blocking your way. He's also very much aware of the small wet spot that's very visible on the front of them.

You kiss the spot gently, making eye contact as he slides up onto his elbows. "I need a yes sweetheart.." Your hand gently tugs at his waistband.

He lets out another sharp breath, his whole body feels hot and sensitive. Nodding rapidly he chokes out a whisper back to you, his voice slightly shaky with haziness.

"Y-Yes...yes baby, yes please..."

He lifts his hips slightly to help you with taking his boxers off and he lets out a shaky breath as he watches you take them off for him.

"Darling...please, please touch me, I need it.." He mutters in a low, almost pleading voice. His breath hitches in anticipation as he watches your next move, his body already burning with need for you to touch him, to give him the blissful satisfaction he so desperately craves from you...

Your smirk from earlier doesn't shrink, especially when you see how hard his cock is already. Practically has a mind of its own, twitching and leaking and you've barely done a damn thing..

"I knoww honey shh...it'll be ok..." You slowly kiss his tip, which makes it twitch each time you do. You swirl your tongue until you open your mouth wider to begin. Your eyes meet his as you suck only on his tip, just to tease him.

Your boyfriend lets out a small gasp as you start to bob on him. He has to throw his head back and throw an arm over his face to muffle the almost disgusting lewd sounds he makes..

You smile gently and he fucking knows it, he can feel it. He lets out another soft gasp as you smile, your gentle smile sending a shiver down his spine. Every movement you make, every touch, every sound is making him shiver and gasp. He keeps his arm over his face to muffle the noises, but he loves this, having you between his legs, making him feel like he's the only one who matters to you.

You trail your eyes to look at him, and the sight makes you almost stop. His face is breathtaking, a whimpering moaning mess trying to hold it all back. Short breaths, curses, and small droplets of sweat beading his forehead.

He feels your gaze on him and lifts the arm that covers his face slightly so he can look at you. He can feel his cheeks burning from the intense pleasure and the effort to keep quiet, to not moan and gasp too loudly. He holds eye contact with you as he stares at you, his eyes dark and filled with need and want, his mouth slightly open from the pleasure he's feeling.

You know what you have to do.

You take a breath and sink your mouth all the way down to his abdomen, nose pressing against it gently. Suckling sounds are the only noise in the room for a few minutes as his brain had completely stopped.

When his brain registers what he's feeling it makes him gasp loudly, his whole body suddenly tensing up. He throws his head back again, unable to keep looking at you.

"Please, please, love, please don't stop, please, please!" He whimpers in between gasps and his voice is starting to sound a little desperate, the pleasure he's feeling is building up inside him, he can feel the pressure building, begging to be stroked out of him..

You can't help but chuckle a bit, muffled by the twitching cock deep in your throat. So you smirk.

And dammit..he feels that too..

Feeling your smirk against his skin makes a shiver runs down his spine. He desperately wants to look at you again to see your face, to see your reaction to him, but he can't seem to find the strength, he's so overwhelmed by the pleasure you're giving him. His whines echo in the room.

You take a minute to do a few long sucks, just to see his reaction. You gag a small bit but you push through and go down further.

His eyes shoot open again and he lets out a high pitched guttural moan as his hands fly to the back of your head. He pushes you down more as the pressure in his stomach snaps.

Your squeak is muffled as you look up at him, hot strands of cum hitting the back of your throat as he whimpers. The pressure is finally too much. The pleasure, the sensation, everything you're doing is too much for him to handle, so when it's over he reaches down and grabs a hold of your hair.

Making you let go of his cock with a loud wet pop sound. He pulls you up gently, pulling you up to his chest.

"Baby~" You tease with a small whine. "Was that too much for you?"

He pants softly and nods gently, eyes filled with exhaustion. He moves to face you as soon as your head is above his chest. He takes a couple of breaths, trying to calm himself down, trying to collect himself, before he speaks

"Love, I need to be in control now, please let me take control.." He's desperate, he needs to feel you, to have you, to take control and give you the pleasure you deserve.

You just nod. What else can you say when you're surprised he's so needy?

When you agree, he sits up so that you're sitting on his lap, facing him and still straddling him. He grabs you and suddenly flips over, trapping you underneath him. His eyes are dark as he looks down at you, his voice low and slightly rough.

"Darling I'm going to make you feel so fucking good.." He whispers, leaning down to start kissing your neck, his hands wandering over your body.

You giggle quietly. "I'm guessing I did a good job?"

He smiles against your neck when you giggle and he mutters, his lips still pressed to your skin.

"You did, darling. More than a good job." He continues to kiss your neck while his hands start to take off your shirt, slowly sliding it off and exposing the skin underneath.

Once he pulls the shirt off completely he tosses it somewhere (probably to the growing pile). He looks down at you, just admiring your now revealed skin for a moment before he speaks again.

"My my...you're so beautiful" He moves his hands, caressing your sides and stomach, feeling the smoothness of your skin as he slowly starts to kiss and bite down your chest and stomach.

"Shhh not really.." You whisper embarrassed, eyes averting his gaze as your face grows hot.

He pauses temporarily and looks up at you with a surprised, almost disapproving look.

"Stop that. Don't say that. I don't want to hear you say that. You are absolutely, undeniably, incredibly beautiful, do you hear me?"

He's not mad at you, but he's serious. He doesn't like you putting yourself down like that. He goes back to kissing your neck and chest.

You just nod hesitantly.

"Good" He mumbles as he continues to kiss your body, slowly moving further down your stomach until he reaches the hem of your pants. He looks up at you, tilting his head.

"Darling...can I take these off?" He asks in a low, slightly shaky voice, his hands resting on the waistband of your pants as he looks up at you, silently begging for permission.

"Go ahead sweetheart.." You whisper.

"Thank you, honey"

He grabs the pants and starts to slide them off slowly, taking his time. He takes in the sight of your body as he pulls them off your legs and tosses them aside. He lets his hands slide up your legs, caressing the skin, relishing the feel of you under him.

He smiles a wide smile, almost like he was given a million mora, and moves closer to you, resting his body on top of you, his body slightly pressing against, trapping you between the bed and him.

"Darling...can I take off your bra?" He mutters, his lips grazing your neck as he speaks, the words coming out in shaky breaths.

You nod gently which makes him almost FERAL. He lets out a breath of relief as you nod and he moves his hand behind you and starts to undo the clasp of your bra

"Lift your back for me, love.." He mutters." You arch your back as he delicately takes off the lacy purple bra..his favorite one..

Once he slides the bra off you and throws it away and he takes a moment to take you in, seeing your whole body under him. Your boobs spill out a bit and wobble as he shifts.

He lets out a shaky breath as he looks at you and his eyes are filled with a mix of desire and admiration "Darling, you're so...incredibly beautiful. I can't believe you're all mine..."

"ALLLL yours. Forever." You whisper, a small part of you wants to kiss him, but you know he's not finished.

He swallows, his breath hitching as you say those words. The way you say it, the certainty and devotion in your voice, it makes his heart flutter. He presses his lips to your neck and mutters against your skin

"Yes, all mine. Only mine"

He starts to kiss down your body again, his hands roaming along your skin, relishing the feel of you, the knowledge that you are his and only his.

You lean forward to kiss the side of his head, a shaky breath being forced out of you as his hand brushes your thigh.

He shivers slightly when you kiss him, the feeling of your lips on his skin killing him. He continues to kiss your body, slowly moving down your chest and stomach, leaving a trail of kisses and soft bites across your skin. As he moves further down, his hands grip onto your hips, keeping you in place.

"So sweet.." You mumble.

"But not as sweet as you, my love" He murmurs against your skin as he moves down even further. He's close to where you want, no no..where you need him, and he is already getting impatient, but he wants to taste you, to feel you, to hear your moans.

"Ororon.." You whine softly.

He smiles against your skin when you whine his name. He knows what you want, what you need, and he is more than happy to give it to you. But first, he can't help but tease you just a bit..

"What is it, my love? What do you want? You need to be a good girl and use your words, darling~"

"Want you.." You whisper softly. A bright pink blush on your face.

"You want me, sweetheart?" He mutters against your skin and you can almost hear the smirk in his voice. He's enjoying this, teasing you a bit, hearing you say you want him. He gives your hip a small nip.

"What do you want me to do, my love? You need to be more specific~"

His lazy smartass tone makes you want to scream..but dammit..it's hot. "Need you.."

He lets out a small, shaky breath as you say that, the needy, almost desperate tone in your voice making his heart race and his body burn with anticipation. He nips at your skin again and his voice is low and slightly uneven when he speaks

"Need me how, love? You need me where? You need to tell me or I can't help~"

You growl slightly as he just pushes your buttons. "Don't play games Ororon.." Your whine makes his ears twitch.

He chuckles softly against your skin after you whine, his heart aching at your desperate tone, at your need for him.

"I'm not playing games, darling, I want you to say it. I want to hear you say it. I want you to tell me exactly where you need me.." He nips gently at your stomach as he mutters. "Be a good girl and say it for me, please?"

"Need you here.." You whisper softly, he swears his heart stops. You take his hand and slide it down to your core. Just gently.

He lets out another shaky breath as you gesture and say you need him. Hearing those words come out of your mouth, seeing your gesture, it's driving him absolutely wild, and he's struggling to maintain his self control. He nuzzles against your stomach and mutters, his voice slightly hoarse from the intense desire building up in him.

"You need me here, love?" He nips at your skin again, harder this time, but still not hard enough to leave a mark.

The whimper from you makes his breath hitch and he has to resist the urge to just give in and give you what you want right then and there. But he forces himself to hold back a little longer, just to hear you say it again.

"Here, darling? You need me here?" He runs his tongue along your stomach, slowly, teasingly, waiting to hear you say it once more.

He listens to you whine and he smirks slightly, the sound of your whine, the needy, want in it, it's driving him crazier by the second. He lets out a shaky breath and mutters against your skin.

"My poor love, you want it so bad, don't you?" He nips at your skin again, his hands gripping onto your hips tighter, holding you in place as you try to squirm.

The bat man sucks in a breath as he hears you whimper and moan, the sound making him shiver and feel like he's about to lose control. He can't hold back anymore. He wants you and he needs you and he is going to give you exactly what you want

"Such needy, pretty sounds coming out of that lovely mouth, darling" He mutters and he suddenly moves so that he's between your thighs. "I need to hear more of those pretty sounds.."

"S-So mean.." You cry out softly into the bedroom. Your eyes dangerously close to spilling tears of frustration.

The word mean makes him stop for a moment and he lifts his head up to look at you, a confused look on his face.

"Mean? How am I mean?" He asks, an almost hurt sounding tone in his voice.

You huff and glare down at him before whining. "I want you..and you're teasing!" Your eyes meet his, full eye contact, but it's not uncomfortable or tense. No no, it's far from that.

He swallows as you whine, his heart aching a bit at how needy you sound, at how much you want him. He moves a little closer, his face close to your slick, but he's teasing you, still holding back, just waiting for the right words from you..

"I know you want me, darling. You're being so needy for me, it's driving me insane. Do you know how pretty you sound, all desperate for me?"

He watches your face as you try not to whine and he can't help but smile at how cute you are. He runs his hands along your thighs, caressing your skin, enjoying how soft you are. "Why are you holding back those pretty, needy sounds, love? I want to hear them. I want to hear your pretty moans and whines~"

You let out a loud moan and cover your mouth with an embarrassed squeak. He shivers again as he hears the moan and he quickly reaches up to grab your hand and pull it away from your mouth.

"No darling, don't cover your mouth. I said I wanted to hear those sounds, don't hide them" He mutters as he looks up at you.

"H-Honey!" You squeak.

His heart aches as you call him honey and a shiver runs through him again. He moves his face closer to your cunt, close enough that you can feel his breath against your skin

"Yes, darling? What is it? Are you going to be a good girl and let me hear you now?"

He lets out a low chuckle as you nod and whine. You're so cute, so needy, and he loves it

"Perfect. I want to hear you, darling. I want to hear all the pretty sounds you make. And I'm going to make you feel so good, love.." He moves his face closer to your folds nuzzling against you as he mutters. "Are you ready, sweetheart?"

He smiles against your skin, feeling how eager, how desperate you are. It only makes him want you more, makes his own need grow as well. He moves his mouth, his tongue flicking out, tasting you.

"Mm, so desperate...so needy. And you're all mine."

Ororon hooks his arms under your legs and pulls you closer, all the while his tongue plays with your clit. Every now and then he gazes up at you to see your pretty face.

He can't help but smile as he hears your whimper, the sight of your eyes widening making his heart ache in the best way.

"You're so beautiful. So sensitive, so responsive, and all mine. My poor, desperate, needy girl.."

He mutters as he moves his tongue, tasting you again, savoring the taste of you, letting himself get lost in your slick.

Loving to hear you try to hold back your noises, he loves how desperate you are to stay quiet, but he knows he's going to make you break, make you moan and gasp for him.

"Don't hold back, love, I want to hear you. I need to hear you. I want to hear those pretty, needy sounds you make. Let go, darling.."

You nod softly as you start to whine loudly, the room growing thicker with the breaths you take.

He smiles against your skin as you start to whine, the sound sending another shiver down his spine. He kisses your thigh and mutters.

"That's it, love, let go. Let me hear you. I want to hear your sweet moans and whines. I want to hear how desperate you are for me. Don't hold back, my love.."

Your legs twitch a bit and you just can't help but stare at him. His face is covered with your wetness, his panting while lapping at your folds making your brain hazy.

He notices your legs twitching and he smiles against your skin, his heart fluttering as he thinks about how sensitive you are. He takes a moment to look up and see your face, seeing your staring, your needy expression.

"Is it feeling good, darling? Are you close? Do you want more?" He mutters against the skin of your thigh as he nips it, gently.

"N-Need more PLEASE!" You hiss with pleasure, you know you're close, you can feel it. But he needs to be the one to drag it out of you. The way you say it, that tone of desperation and need, it drives him crazy and he lets out a shaky breath

"You're so needy, my love. So desperate, so sensitive. I'm going to give you more, darling, don't worry. I'm going to give you everything you need~"

He nuzzles his face against your thigh once more, placing a kiss on the skin, then moving his mouth to where you want him, his touch and tongue more intense, more insistent. Wanting to please you, wanting to take care of you.

"O-Ororon.." You whimper softly. "C-Close please.."

He shivers as you say his name, loving how it sounds coming out of your mouth, and he can hear the need, the desperation in your voice. He knows you're close, and he knows he's going to push you over the edge.

"You're so close, love. You're right on the edge, aren't you? I can hear it in your voice, I can feel it in your body. You're so sensitive, so responsive" He mutters against your cunt, tongue messily sliding up and down your slit.

"You want to cum for me, darling? Cmon baby...cum for me, please.."

He can't get enough of you. The way you moan, the sound of your voice, all of it makes his cock throb and he wants to give you everything you want, everything you need.

"One more? Darling, I'll give you as many as you need. I want to make you feel good, I want to take care of you, my love.."

He kisses your thigh as he nuzzles his face against your skin, his hands running along your thighs, gently caressing you as he mutters.

"Are you ready, love?"

You nod quickly, no hesitation.

He smiles against your skin, loving how eager you are, how needy you are for him. It drives him crazy, knowing how much you want him, knowing it was HIM that's making you feel this way.

"Good girl. You're doing so well, my love.."

He runs his tongue along your clit, swirling it and kissing it, occasionally sucking it gently. Eventually he mumbles against it.

"Let go for me. Let me hear those pretty sounds, darling.."

Your elbows that were propping you up fall underneath you. You don't even bother covering your mouth as you let out the most disgusting moans..but he doesn't care, it's all for him..

He listens to your moans as you let go, watching you fall down on the bed from pleasure. It makes his cock twitch and his body ache with desire, hearing the sounds you are making for him, knowing how good he is making you feel. He keeps going, his tongue and mouth working on you, bringing you closer and closer.

He slides a hand over your stomach and presses down as he licks at your clit. He latches on and repeatedly suckles at the small bundle of nerves.

You know you're done for and the coil of pressure in your abdomen bursts. Whines and moans fill the room as he laps at your slit, cleaning up for you.

After a few moments he slowly pulls away and moves himself back up on the bed, lying down next to you. He's breathing heavily, trying to collect himself a little, and he can't stop staring at you as he mutters

"Oh love...you're so sensitive, so responsive, it's driving me crazy. You taste so good, you sound so good. You make the prettiest sounds.."

You burrow into him, reaching down to bring the blanket up over you two. All you want now is to cuddle him.

He wraps his arms around you, pulling you close against his body, enjoying the feeling of you cuddled up next you him. He runs his fingers through your hair, caressing your head as he mutters.

"You did so well, love. You were so good for me, such a good girl... You sound so beautiful when you let your pretty moans out. I loved it."

You smile gently before yawning and kissing his jaw. You pull back and wipe your lips. "Uh honey..?"

When you call him "honey", he can't help but chuckle softly at how cute it sounds coming from you. When you pull back he raises an eyebrow at you. "Yes, love? What is it?"

You snicker and wipe a finger across his mouth and lower cheeks. "My cum is like... ALLLL...over your face."

His face immediately turns red and he knows exactly what you mean, and that brings a sheepish look onto his face.

"Oh...yeah I can imagine what it looks like based off of how much you were, um, enjoying yourself" He mutters looking away from you, a bit embarrassed.

"Wanna go get cleaned up? I need to shower anyway.." You kiss his forehead, a place devoid of slick.

He nods his head at your suggestion. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I need to get cleaned up, and a shower does sound really nice right now."

He kisses your forehead and starts to get up from the bed, his body a bit sore from what happened before.

"Hey uh...Ororon?" You whisper quietly.

He stops the moment you call his name and looks back at you, an inquisitive look on his face. "Yes, love? Whats up?"

"I-I love you..." You smile softly, a bit embarrassed. Which is weird since you say it all the time to each other. But this time just feels different.

The mere phrase, the word 'love' coming from your mouth, causes his heart to ache. He gives you a soft smile and whispers back to you.

"I love you too, darling. So much"

You get up from the bed and relax a bit. "As long as you know it.."

He reaches over and gently takes your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. He gently tugs you forward, to follow him to the bathroom.

"I know, love. I know you love me. And I love you, more than you know. I love you more than anything..."

And with that he gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead as you go to get cleaned up.

🎀End🎀

[bones4thecats]

Ooh, Okie dokie! (I forgot to label myself in my little question haha - it's me, 😊 anon!)

Can I request Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu having a crush on an Autistic Reader?

The reader is mostly nonverbal - only speaking using short words/sentences - unless they're talking to someone they've grown to really trust, to animals (such as their crow companions), or about animals - which they have learned lots of trivia about. They may also stim - usually by rocking side to side when bored or flapping/clapping their hands when excited. They're happy to receive physical contact but can be overwhelmed by constant loud noise (such as shouting or music.)

(I hope that wasn't too long - I hope you have a lovely day! ✨)

The Kamaboko Trio With An Autistic S/O

Characters: Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, and Insouke Hashibira Requester: 😊Anon A/N: I haven't written for Demon Slayer in such a long time so the characters may be slightly OOC. These are also fairly short, just noting! But, I do hope you enjoy this! Have a great rest of your days/nights!!! ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Nothing ⚠️

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╚═════ Tanjiro Kamado ══════════════════════════╝

😺 When Tanjiro first met you, he was slightly confused as to why you rarely spoke longer sentences. But, in his fashion, he put that behind and stayed positive around you

😺 Whenever he notices your stims getting worse or more erratic, he holds your hand and allows you to mess with his. He also likes seeing how you would help Nezuko with her hair, using the physical action as another way to use a stim

😺 He is amazing with animals himself, getting along with pretty much every creature he finds. So, when you walked around the Butterfly Mansion with small birds and one of your pets, a Japanese dwarf flying squirrel that you named Kiyoshi, he got along with the cute rodent quick and easily

😺 Whenever you are set to be on a mission with him and the others (Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Nezuko), he tries to keep them quieter so you don't get overwhelmed

😺 Sometimes, he enjoys staying awake at night and ask you about some animals that he has either seen around or was wondering about. Such as a Japanese Macaque or a Sika Deer

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╚═════ Zenitsu Agatsuma ════════════════════════╝

⚡ This guy, oof!

⚡ He had a hard time understanding you at first. But that was mainly because you rarely spoke and were extremely loving to almost every animal that you guys came across

⚡ I mean, you literally would attract any other Slayer's crow, which made Zenitsu roll his eyes stubbornly. How come you were such an animal magnet while his own crow (or rather sparrow) pecked at him whenever he tried holding him!

⚡ Anyways, he does like seeing how you handle demons, putting your own issues behind just to help out anybody in danger, whether they were children or adults or in between

⚡ Zenitsu may not show it fully, but he does like watching you play with your pet Koi fish when they were swimming around in your/Mitsuri's estate's back pond

⚡ No doubt simps even harder whenever you mess with his hands or wear his haori. He literally stands there with a goofy grin on his face as he giggles at your actions

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╚═════ Inosuke Hashibira ════════════════════════╝

🐗 Inosuke is a very rambunctious person by nature. And he is surprisingly good around animals, due to growing up alongside them all his childhood

🐗 So, when you came around and seemingly calmed down a boar in front of him, he yelled your name and asked how you knew what they were thinking, in which you laughed and tried explaining to the best of your ability

🐗 He also had great hearing and understanding of body language. So if you were to speak with a lower tone or not be able to finish a sentence, he understands what you want to say without asking you to repeat like others

🐗 Smiling at him also makes him feel good, so whenever you do so if you can't gain the urge to speak to him, his chest puffs out as he goes on a rant of 'of course you smile at the King of the Mountain' and whatnot

🐗 By far the second best with an Autistic reader when it comes to this trio, the way he grew up helps him understand you better than the others easily

[frantic-fiction]

May I request some Jealous!Fem!Reader x Astarion? Maybe one where someone from Astarion’s past makes an appearance and while Astarion sees this woman as just a friend, reader can see the woman blatantly flirting with her vampire spawn and she doesn’t like it one bit. ESPECIALLY if Astarion’s oblivious to the woman’s advances and innocently engages (because let’s face it, our boy loves being praised & complimented 24/7). Reader decides it’s her turn to stake her claim on our little sassy vampire and remind everyone who he belongs to ;)

Yes! Yes! Thank you for the request!

Jealous

Astarion x gn!reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist

It was nice being back in the city. Yes, there was still the ever-looming threat of the Absolute, but most of the party was back home, and for once, it felt like, for a moment, everyone could breathe. You had a fluffy bed to sleep on instead of a lumpy bedroll. And while Gale always made whatever perversions the party scavenged taste good, the warm, hearty tavern meals you've been treated to as of late were too good to beat.

But the best part of being back was taking any moment to drag Astarion out into the city to wherever he fancies so he can explore Baldur's Gate in the daylight without the darkness of Cazador. He wanted to visit the farmers market today, so you wandered the vendors' stalls, stopping to take moments and smell flowers and sample wares.

Astarion politely conversed with a tailor about the fabric quality used for a shirt he wanted. Frankly, they had been talking longer than your attention span could handle, so when your eyes wandered to a stall full of beaded jewelry, you wasted no time giving Astarion a quick peck on the cheek and telling him where you'd be.

The pieces were beautiful and skillfully crafted—brightly colored beads and gold inlays, gems of various minerals, all catching your eyes. The older halfling woman propped highly on the stool, greets you politely, and gives little details and facts about each one you set aside for closer inspection. Maybe you should get something for Shadowheart and Karlach? Probably not Lae—

"Astarion!"

A feminine voice has you snapping your head back to your partner. A frown instantly settles over your features when you see a tall, elven woman pull Astarion's hug. Her brown hair is intricately braided into a top knot decorated in sparkly chains. Her dress hugs her curves, framing her body perfectly.

Why are they still hugging?

"Oh Gods, it's been too long. You're looking amazing." Her nasal voice filters down the markets. "How are you, love?"

Astarion finally manages to break the hug, giving the woman an automatic flirtatious smile, the tailor long forgotten. "Eleanor, I've been well. I do hope the same can be said for you."

Dropping the beads with little care, you leave the stall, ignoring the halfling. You don't like this woman. You don't like how her hand still lingers on Astarion's forearm or how she leans ever so slightly closer as if daring him to kiss her.

"I've been fine, though I'm upset you haven't visited in quite a while. It's been rather dull without you." She runs her hand up his arm.

Astarion laughs, flicking his hand in the air and clearly enjoying the woman's words. "I could only imagine, my dear. Those brutes are fowl at their best. Who wouldn't miss me."

Your jaw clenches when her obnoxious laughter rings in the air. Pushing past a family of four throwing a half-ass apology, not paying mind, too pissed off. Who does this woman think she is putting her hands on Astarion as if he's hers?

"Astarion, you always knew how to make me laugh." Elenor ducks her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "If I'm being honest, I was always jealous of the ones you took home. But now that we're here, maybe…"

Oh, hell no! You practically jump the rest of the way and run into Astarion's arm. He lets out a breathy oof, arms tightening around your waist to keep you from tumbling to the ground. Pretending you weren't aware of the woman, you capture Astarion into a chaste kiss before beaming up at him.

"I hope you found what you were looking for, my love." Your voice is sickly sweet as you trail your thumb across his cheekbone. Then you turn your head and feign innocence, looking at the elf. "Oh, I'm sorry, Star. Who is this?"

Astarion gives you a look but recovers quickly. Clearing his throat, he speaks, "Darling, this is Eleanor. She owns a tavern I frequented. One of the only decent companies I've had before we met."

Moving away from Astarion's side, you reach your hand out in greeting, giving her your name, "It's a pleasure to meet a friend of my Star,"

Eleanor looks a bit taken aback, staring blankly at the two of you, clearly not expecting this change in her plans. You're internally preening. She takes your hand in a limp shake before dropping it and stepping back. Eleanor quickly wipes her hand on her dress slyly and chuckles.

"That explains why I haven't seen you in a while."

You sneer at her, wanting nothing more than to punch her. Instead, you drop your hand onto Astarion's chest, nuzzling warmly into his side. "Yes, sorry about that. I've been a bit selfish. Sometimes it hard to get out of bed."

"Right…" Eleanor says. Astarion, I never took you as one to settle down, especially someone as… unique as them."

"What is that supposed to mean?" The venom drips from your words, and Astarion has to keep you in place.

Eleanor smirks. "Oh, I meant nothing bad." The mocking tone alone reinforces that she meant this to be as insulting as possible. "I'm just stating you're rougher around the edges."

Astarion's hold on your waist tightens as you move to step forward, hand reaching for the dagger discreetly hidden against your thigh. There is no possible way this woman values Astarion in any way more than as a body to conquer. That thought alone has you practically baring your teeth.

"What the fuck does that mean!"

Astarion steps in before you can do anything extreme, "Eleanor, it was lovely seeing you again. We'll have to come and visit sometime for a drink, but I'm afraid my love and I must make our leave."

"Oh yes, of course!" Elenor says, her voice a bit too filled with fake cheer. Her smile is strained, and her eyes stare daggers into your skull. "I hope I can see you at the tavern sometime soon."

"Yes, we'll come down for a visit sometime soon. " Astarion calls over his shoulder, practically dragging you down the cobblestone. You think about ripping your arm out of his hold and turning back, but you let him pull you along with only a death glare sent toward Eleanor.

As soon as the two of you are in a secluded place, Astarion drops your hand and turns on you. "Darling, what was that?"

Picking at your nails, you shrug your shoulders. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Astarion takes your hand and, with a finger, tilts your chin to force you to meet his eyes. He has a shit-eating grin, and his fangs are even more prominent in his smile. "You were jealous."

Swatting his hands away, you step back. "I was not!" You lie and storm down the alleyway. You didn't get far before Astarion caught your wrist and spun you into his chest.

"You were jealous." He repeats. "But you really shouldn't be."

"She was all over you."

"It was a hug, my dear, from probably the closest normal friendship I had before the tadpole."

"Friendship? She was practically begging you to fuck her." You huff, fiddling with the lapels of Astarion's shirt.

Astarion chuckles deeply and presses a kiss to your forehead. "Gods, you're cute when you're jealous."

"Don't make fun of me, Astarion."

Ignoring you, he continues. "For argument's sake, if she was begging me to fuck her, as you so eloquently put it, who cares? I certainly don't, not when I have this beautiful, strong, incredibly understanding partner who knows all the darkest parts of me and still stands by my side?"

"Well, I am pretty noble for putting up with you when you're hungry." You smile, looping your arms around his neck, all jealousy draining from you like water from a colander.

"How could another soul handle me in that horrid state." Astarion runs his nose against yours. "I love you and don't plan on stopping soon."

You beam and kiss him breathlessly before mumbling, "I love you too," against his lips. "I think we should head back to our room."

Astarion chuckles under his breath, running his hands down the curve of your spine. "Oh, what for my sweet?"

"Well," Crawling your fingers up his chest, you press your lips to his ear and whisper. "If you'll let me, I want to mark every inch of your neck." "Mark me as yours, darling?" Astarion hums.

"Mhmm, we could go further, but" you continue. "Tonight, I want you to show me this tavern Eleanor owns. I think we deserve a date night."

"You are jealous."

"If I agree, will you take me out?" You lean in for a kiss.

Astarion presses forward, brushing his lips against yours. "As long as I have a necklace of your pretty love bites."

"Then yes, my love, I am very much jealous."

I've been struggling with inspiration lately. Moving was super stressful and I had to leave a hostile work environment very quickly so life's been a bit messy. But I've got my kitty cat and don't have to deal with a shitty boss so hopefully things will go up from here.

I'm kinda iffy on how I feel on this one but that might just be my current mindset. I hope you all enjoy it regardless, and stay tune because I plan on have something spicier posted soonish...possibly Astarion discovering his breeding kink 🫣❤️

Taglist: @heartfully10@ayselluna@marina-and-the-memes@anixson@canonicalchaoticneutral @toadsbitch @meulinkitten-blog @ambr4armr @lotusandcrystals @venussakura @synapticjive @skittleabyss@asterordinary@lariatbunny @whispering-depths@butchboi-chihuahua-slumlord@darkest-part-of-the-forest@queenofcarrotflowers-s@sessils @d20bunny@cherifrog@ophelia-ophelian@bgthree@darlingxdragon@mothynyx @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf@babyqnn @mmendez0124@kokoyu-art@lilah-asteria

Want to be added to the taglist? DM me please!

[torukmaktoskxawng]

Hey I was wondering if you could do an imagine with Neteyam with Navi reader. As the idea I was thinking you both sneak off and end up making out in a tree. Fluff but I wouldn’t mind it being a lil smut but I definitely would love to see fluff if you don’t mind❤️

(Gif not mine)

Pairing: AgedUp!Neteyam/AgedUp!Fem!Na'vi!Reader (oof, mouthful)

Warnings: fluff, aged-up characters, make-out session, heated stares, hinted nsfw, not filthy, honestly very vanilla but its a sweet vanilla lol.

Taglist: @neteyamsl0ver @mooniequeen

A/n: I hinted at both and I am so sorry this took so long. I'm getting better, I promise.

~~~~~~~~~

Honestly, it was to be expected.

The son of the Omatikaya's tsakarem and Toruk Makto, sneaking out with the daughter of Ninat, the best singer of her clan and one of the most beautiful Na'vi women of her generation. 

Truly, their children would be a match made by Eywa herself, and this is why no one should have been surprised to learn the two young Na'vi would sneak away from their families to be alone. Off they went, the moment their families had all fallen asleep, racing each other out into the forest, prancing over the glowing flora of their beautiful world.

Neteyam made a playful grab at your tail and you whipped around, laughing out of surprise, before half-heartedly shoving him away. He doesn't let you get far, grabbing the hand that you had pressed against his chest and keeping it there, his thumb tracing your skin while you could feel his heartbeat beneath your palm. You linger there for a moment, allowing him to captivate you with those yellow eyes, constantly staring into yours, barely blinking and never looking away. You let him think he's got you under his spell before you swiftly break away, running off with your laugh trailing behind you. 

Neteyam smirks and gives chase, following you up a large tree, full of bridge-sized branches intertwining with its neighbors. He chases you up until he has you pinned against the trunk, and this time you don't even try to escape. You let him enjoy the small victory as he plants a kiss on your cheek, then your neck, then your shoulder. 

He moves to kiss the other side of your face and neck, mumbling into your skin, "Will you sing for me, ma'yawntu?"

You exhale a quiet sigh at the feel of his lips softly brushing a sensitive spot on your neck, before starting a soft tune. Like your mother, you were a spectacular singer, and it was one of the many traits Neteyam loved about you, and it showed in his enthusiasm as his kisses turned more firm and earnest. They traveled across your collar and down both of your arms before traveling down to your stomach. You begin to squirm, anxious to get him exactly where you want him, your song briefly interrupted between soft gasps and whines until you can't take it anymore.

"Neteyam..."

"Hm?" He peers up at you, pausing his ministrations but keeping his lips on your skin, just below your belly button.

"Kiss me."

"Where?"

You giggle quietly, "My mouth."

You feel his lips smirk against your skin, "But how will I hear your song if I'm kissing you there?"

Your eyes roll and you use this angle to your advantage, gently kneeing Neteyam in the chest. He's startled out of a laugh and stands back up, accepting his fate as he threads both of his hands through the hair on the back of your neck, then leans down to capture you in a slow, tender kiss. You sigh through your nose and close your eyes, satisfied until you feel the need for more. Your hands rest on either side of his hip and you try your best to pull and press his pelvis against yours for some much-needed friction. 

He pulls away, breathless, his eyes screwed shut with restraint as if it pained him to stop. He breathed deeply, in and out, slowly trying to regain his posture as he playfully growled, "Not yet, ma'yawntu. I want to do this right."

You sigh and pause your attempt, knowing you haven't been able to convince him to go any further than making out. You love how courteous and respectful he was. As the future olo'eyktan, it's a commendable and much-needed trait to have, but sometimes it could also be a curse. Neteyam had always wanted to court you properly, in front of the whole clan where everyone could see you and your love, but had wanted to wait until you had both finished your Iknimaya. He had achieved an ikran the year prior, and your own trial just happened to be tomorrow. 

Leaning up to kiss his cheek, you decided you could afford to wait a little longer if it meant having Neteyam all to yourself very soon, "Until tomorrow then."

His eyes pierce yours with the kind of heat that makes your knees tremble, a fervent promise that makes your heart race and skin prickle. One look and he's already trying to test your own restraint and patience. You definitely couldn't wait until he was all yours. 

~~~~~~~~~

MASTERLIST

REQUESTS

[alvfr]

you asked for it! im forcing you!

how about a scenario on that particular AU you have cooking around? between nightwing and a spiderperson that is marooned in the black and white gotham city

we love to see it

posting this like you haven't already read all of it >.< a/n: the funniest jokes are princess-marida's and she is a blessed saint that endures my long ramblings about wips, including this one. i know it says a scenario, but this turned into a longer project (shocker) so here's the first part of chapter 1 (eventual) paring: dick grayson/reader rating: m (swearing)/sfw cw: spider-woman!reader who never stops talking, no use of y/n, superhero violence summary: for years, you have been the one and only Spider-Woman of your world. However, after being recruited to the multiversal Spider-Society, you learn that there's a version of you in every other universe too.At least that's what you thought until something goes wrong and you end up in a world with plenty of superheroes, but no Spider-Man. You're stranded, alone and glitching. You need to find this world's Spider-Man and restore your link to the Spider-Verse before you disintegrate completely - easier said than done with both a local detective and a hot vigilante on your tail.

Out of the Spider-Verse (and into Gotham)

All right, guys. Let’s start at the beginning one last time. 

Your name is definitely not Peter Parker, but you were bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last few years, you’ve been the one and only Spider-Woman. At least, you thought you were until another Spider-Woman showed up to recruit you to the multiversal Spider-Society and you realized you were one of many, many, many Spider-things from all kinds of universes. It was a sweet gig, getting you out and about some, meeting new people, doing team-ups and group work, and your leader was a decent enough guy. A little intense. Borderline scary. Easy on the eyes though. Really easy on the eyes.

And one day, you’re hanging out at the headquarters minding your own business, totally not gossipping about boss-man, when the order comes to capture one of your fellow Spider-Men. Next thing you know, you’re caught up in the whirlwind of Spider-Beings chasing after someone called Miles Morales, and somehow, in the chaos, you slip.

A fluke, really. You never slip. You’re Spider-Woman! You literally stick to walls and ceilings, and somehow, you lost your footing and took a tumble into darkness. 

Real darkness. Where bright flashing lights and psychedelic colors had accompanied you all the other times you hopped through dimensions, this time, you fell into a black pit of nothing. Reflexes had you shooting out webs, desperate to get an anchor point. They disappeared into the void with an embarrassing swish, and you did not even have time to scream before you smacked into something undeniably solid.

Concrete, probably, based on the cloud of debris and dust that rained over you as your body dug several feet into it, knocking every cubic inch of air from your lungs with an oof. Yup, you determined as you lifted your now gray arms to study them. Definitely concrete. You dropped your head back into the rubble and made a face under your mask. Concrete dust was a real bitch to get out of the suit, and you would be forced to cosplay as whitewashed Noir Spider-Man until you could get it dry-cleaned. 

Read more on AO3

[midnight1nk]

EPISODE CONCEPT #3

What if... SMG3 had the courage to confess his feelings for SMG4?

[more below cut]

No context this time, the only thing I will say is that it will be a long one ;)

"Before it may be too late."

SMG3 stared at the ceiling, his fingers fidgeting with the trim of his bed sheets. Those words haven't stopped bothering him for hours. An answer to his question. Not of "would've" or "should've", but "could've".

SMG4. No, Four.

But it'll never be your Four.

It was already a mess when he realized he had feelings for the blue idiot, and now, of all things, he wanted to confess.

If he doesn't reciprocate, will it leave things awkward between us?

He turned to his side and patted Eggdog, who was sleeping peacefully, letting out a defeated sigh. What was he supposed to think? The way they talked, the slightest touch of their hands. It should mean something, right?

What if it's too good to be true?

Three looked over to the shelf that stood on the other side of his room, to a familiar picture frame. Terrence. His first son, first friend. He cared for him so much, and he had to say goodbye. To save the world.

And since when did a villain deserve love?

Months, years have passed. He earned a fresh start, a new home. Eggdog. His role in the Crew, his role as Meme Guardian. And...

Once a villain, always a villain.

...Right. Eggman just had to come in and remind him that Three was a villain. Admittedly, it did feel good to create some havoc. That was until he was tasked to kill Four. And... Four may have believed him when he said he might've thought about the idea itself. Of course, it wasn't true but...

What makes you think he could ever love you after what you did to him?

Well, hey, if the ping-pong game inside his head would let him sleep, that would be great, thank you very much. Not that he could shove it back in his mind again as he thought back to his past. There was indeed one moment; the one he prided himself on when he was a villain and the same one he would rather forget now.

The Youtube Remote.

Oof, it was something alright. It was when he was taken seriously, when he was an actual threat. Perhaps if the Crew failed to take him down, he would've gotten what he wanted. Heh, if only his past self could see him now. Three wouldn't care, he found out what he actually needed. Even so, he's still SMG3.

As he dozes off, one person comes to mind. The one who saw how he grown from his past, who gave him advice earlier today.

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Three was going around the near-empty cafe, a small tray in hand. Just as he set a cup down, Four called out to him. Four waves and said his farewell, thanking him for the latte. Three did the same before he accidentally bumped against the table close by. Fortunately, nothing spilled. But Three did earn a giggle from Four. If only Four knew how much his presence lights up Three's world. His shooting star.

Four was long gone but Three's eyes were still glued to where he once was.

Melony: "Are you okay, SMG3?"

Well, it seems he wasn't that good at hiding his crush. Also because Melony was sitting at the table Three just bumped into. Three reassured her that he was fine.

Oh boy, the Crew. They suspected that he had a crush on someone. And ever since "Girls' Night", he might've slipped up a confirmation to the girls, only referring to Four as "That Person". I mean, could you even blame him? The girls were so kind to invite him to one of their exclusive sleepovers, welcoming him with open arms. He felt strangely comfortable sharing this with them. And they didn't judge, promising to not tell a word to the other boys. Melony was there too.

Three looked down at her table to see her Axol plush sitting nearby. Indeed, he felt bad for her after Axol was gone, they weren't able to have the relationship they could've wanted. That loss, he understood it well with what happened to Terrence. But he was impressed by how strong Melony was in handling it all. You could almost say he was proud.

Melony: "It's about 'Them', right?" SMG3: "Well, no. I mean..." [*sighs*] "...yeah." Melony: "Do you love them?" SMG3: "I've literally risked my life for them. Of course, I do. But... I know they don't feel the same." [*picks up an empty plate from the table*] Melony: "How do you know?" SMG3: [*stops, flabbergasted*] "Wha...? It isn't that easy, Mel, I can risk my life all I want for them but I'm not going to risk... this. Besides, I'm sure someone better would come along and treat them well, more than I can offer. I'm content with what we have now, and that's enough for me."

A pause. They were lucky to be the only ones in the cafe but it only made the silence almost unbearable.

SMG3, defeated: "Here's your receipt. Enjoy your drink." [*turns to leave*] Melony: "Whenever Axol and I hung out..." [*SMG3 stops*] "I felt like we understood each other, even though we haven't said anything about it. I cared for him as much as he cared for me. I felt safe, loved. But then... that happened. Maybe we could've dated if we had the time. Sooner if we just talked." [*SMG3 turns to see Melony's bittersweet smile*] "Don't make the same mistake as we did. Tell SMG4 how you feel before it may be too late." SMG3: [*shocked*] "How did...?" Melony: [*giggles*] "It takes one to know one. And if it doesn't work out either way, know that your friends are still here for you."

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

His phone alarm goes off, stirring him awake. Any doubt he had before, it somehow vanished overnight. "Before it may be too late." Melony was right. Who knows what could happen tomorrow. He faced worse things before, they fought off eldritch monsters for memes' sake. He could handle this. Eggdog nuzzled his hand, prompting Three to give his son head scratches.

SMG3: "It's now or never, Eggdog... Could you stay by me, just in case?"

Eggdog lets two encouraging barks, giving Three a bit of comfort.

Just as he does every morning, Three sets up the tables and chairs. The coffee maker set, the clean dishes are ready to go. Finally, Three stands behind the counter, looking at the second hand on the clock.

4...3...2...1...

Right on cue, Four comes in with his laptop.

SMG4: "'Morning SMG3, the usual for me please." [*head over to his favorite table*] SMG3: [*taking out the milk*] "And when are you going to pick something different?" SMG4: "Oh, c'mon, I'm not getting special treatment for being your most loyal customer anymore?" SMG3: "Hmph, and a little bluejay told me you didn't like coffee way before I opened my cafe." SMG4: [*shrugs*] "What can I say? I like the way you make them."

SMG3 shakes his head fondly as he prepares the order, one he memorized by heart: one Cyanide Supreme Latte with ten shots of expresso and five spoons of sugar. All in the usual blue mug with constellation decals. Oh, and not to forget the latte art. It was what Four always ordered and it was the reason why Three started doing latte art in the first place.

That blue meme lord was always curious about what new art he made, and that fact never failed to warm Three's heart. While working on the order, they did their usual talk: memes, streaming, and video editing. A bit of banter here and there.

SMG4 usually works in the Castle but there were moments when Four brought his work here in the cafe. At least, he isn't in his room all day and Three could remind him to take breaks off the screen. Three brought the warm cup to Four's table. Taking his eyes off his work, Four looked at the latte art his purple guardian partner did.

SMG4: "Oh, that's a good-looking rose! A lot better than last time." SMG3: "Hey, that was my first time doing it. Give me a break."

That is true. But also because it was his first attempt to drop a hint to Four that he had romantic feelings for him, he was so nervous that his hand was shaking. It failed miserably either way due to Four being completely oblivious to his "hints". Not this time though.

SMG4: "Anyway, thanks, SMG3." [*takes a sip*] "Mhm, just what I needed, great as always, dude." [*goes back to his work*] SMG3: [*glances at the door, at Eggdog, before inhaling some courage*] "SM... No. Four, I need to talk to you about something." SMG4: [*looks at Three, puzzled*] "Uh, sure. What's up?" SMG3: "I... I don't know if there's going to be another tomorrow, but I need to tell you this. Either that, or I going to start regretting doing this and use the memory wiper on you again." [*and yeah, he muttered that last part*] SMG4: "SMG3?" SMG3: "Four... I'm in love with you."

Silence. ...please, don't go.

SMG3, averting his eyes: "I...I have for some time. I don't know when it all started but I guess it was back in the 'perfect' incident when I realized I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. And... those feelings have grown much more after that. I didn't say anything because I value our friendship, I do. I was willing to do whatever it takes to keep it that way. But, you have no idea how much I wanted to get it off my chest, to tell you this. I know this may be something out of the blue for you, all I ask is for you to take what I say as true. However you respond to this, I can take it. I understand if you want us to continue as friends. Or not, if that's what you wish..."

More silence. Please, say something. Anything.

Three has been avoiding seeing Four's face, terrified. If he took one look, his world would surely crumble. To heartbreak, to hope. It'd be best if he didn't know. He just wants Four to believe him.

SMG4: "...So the 'that person' everyone else was talking about, that was me all along?"

SMG3 slowly nods.

SMG4: "Heh, I thought I was the only one."

Three dares to finally look at SMG4. Four was smiling. Surprised, sure. But smiling.

SMG4: "I'm not sure when it started for me either. The 'perfect' incident, WOTFI 2023. But spending time with you made me realize a lot of things. That I enjoy it, that I wanted to be with you. Just being... us." [*takes Three's hands into his own*] "I... love you too. To be honest, I was also scared that you might not feel the same way." SMG3: "This... isn't a dream, is it?" SMG4: "No. It's not, I promise."

The two stared at each other for a moment, lost in the other's loving eyes, before they slowly closed the gap they had. A soft kiss they shared, and it was all Three needed to believe Four.

It didn't take them long for them to become a couple. In the weeks that followed, they planned out so many dates. Picnics, carnival days, movie nights. Watching sunsets, seeing stars. Just enjoying each other's company.

Being them.

And, of course, they tell the Crew about their relationship. "We knew" was what they responded. And then something about everyone owing Mario money from a bet. Three would roll his eyes at this but he couldn't care less. This was the happiest Three has ever been.

Four. His shooting star, his sweet prince. His boyfriend.

It felt wonderful and no one could take that from him.

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Well, at least, that's what he thought.

If only he knew that he wasn't at home, in the Showgrounds. But rather, in a dark isolating room. Away from the rest of the world. With his limbs tangled in wires, he laid on a table. Unmoved, asleep. In the corner sat Mr Puzzles, looking through a monitor.

For a former villain, Puzzles expected Three to act on his wishes to be back to his past glory. Three said it himself, "I'm the best villain". So, he figured Three should be given a "chance". Puzzles kidnapped him on the night Three was debating on his final decision and put him in the simulation Puzzles created.

He figured that the simulation would be the push Three needed to be a villain again, destroy the Crew for Puzzles. Why put in the effort when they could do it to themselves? Besides, he's curious to see Three's face when his villainy phase fades away and realizes what he has done. Well, Puzzles would've.

Instead, he got.... this. Not exactly what he expected, but it was also risky to pull Three out of the simulation without creating suspicion. If SMG3 found out he was behind this... No, he couldn't let this happen. He'll just have to add something into the simulation to really push Three over the edge. Hmm, perhaps he could made the digital SMG4 hate him. Or better yet, kill him right off.

A flashing red light interrupts his thoughts, warning Puzzles of intruders entering his hideout. It was them. How...?

On the other side of the room, a tired Eggdog let out a hopeful bark from his cage. He knew Beeg4 must've found the message he left behind before he was caught by Mr Puzzles.

Augh, no matter, Mr Puzzles will just have to deal with them.

Outside, the Crew busted down the gate and built a buddy system to cover more ground. SMG4, the real one, turned on his flashlight.

SMG4: "Hang tight, Three. We'll get you home, I promise."

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Mhm, what more could he ask from this?

Three looked down at Four, whose head was resting on his lap. Four kept his eyes closed as instructed by Three, he needed to relax away from his screen. Three was passing a hand through Four's hair. It was nice to just be the two of them here in the game room.

SMG3: "Can I go now?" SMG4: "Nope, you're stuck with me forever." SMG3: [*laughs, before going dramatic*] "Oh no, whatever should I do. Hmm, I guess that's what I get..." [*his hand stops*] SMG4: [*opens his right eye*] "Is something on your mind?" SMG3: "I just... I still can't believe you're my boyfriend." SMG4: [*opens both eyes*] "Well, no regrets on confessing?" SMG3: "I wouldn't change a thing." [*gives a kiss on his partner's forehead, continuing what he was doing*] "I'm glad you stayed." SMG4: "It's because of you I did."

Three hummed. Yep, he decided. He's definitely going to marry Four.

SMG3: "But, for real, can I get up? I want to grab something from the kitchen." SMG4: "Aw, party pooper." [*sits up, letting Three get off from the couch.*] SMG3: "Want anything?" SMG4: "Nah, I'm good."

SMG3 proceeded to head for the door but as soon as he went to grab the knob...

???: "SMG3! Can you hear me?" SMG3: "...Tari?"

Suddenly, the door was glitching, its shape distorting to an extreme.

SMG3: "What the...What's happening?"

The room followed suit, bits and pieces being replaced with a white void. Deleting itself.

SMG3: "Four, c'mon, we gotta get out of..."

When he turned around, he saw his partner calmly standing before him, unfazed by the chaos surrounding them. As if he was expecting this.

SMG3: "Four?" SMG4?: [*slowly taking Three's hand*] "No, Three. I'm not..." [*sighs*] "Remember back when you asked if this was a dream? I promised you then that it's not and I promise the same thing to you now. This isn't a dream. It's a simulation, created by the person who kidnapped you and put you here."

A beat. But the world waited for no one. Not even them.

SMG3: "...Who? Why?" SMG4?: "I don't have access to that information. I wish I could." [*looks at the growing cracks that peeked into the white void*] "Looks like your friends have found you and are taking you out of here."

SMG3 looks back at him, conflicted. He yearned for this life for so long, only for it to be a complete lie. Whoever placed him here was playing some kind of sick joke on him. Perhaps, it was too good to be true...

The two look down at their hands, only to see Four's hand fading away.

SMG4?, his voice starting to distort: "I'm just sorry it had to be this way. That you had to be part of it at all. But I will tell you this: a simulation can't be made out of nothing. Me, the Crew, everything, it's an exact copy of the real thing. What I'm trying to say is, don't let this bring you down. You've been through so much, Three. You deserve to love and to be loved. Your SMG4, the real one, does feel the same as you do. I would know." SMG3: "...What if it doesn't work out?" SMG4?: "Who knows? It happened once, it could happen again. Besides, remember what Melony said, you won't be alone. Your friends will still be there. And I'm sure he'll still be there too."

SMG3 pulls Four into a hug, leaving Four taken back by this. Sure, they've been dating for weeks, if you can even call it that, but usually when people find out this is a simulation, they would leave. They try to forget. Four smiles and hugs back. He should've known better with SMG3. In the middle of the hurricane of deleting pixels and code, there they were with tears silently falling down their cheeks.

SMG4?: "Promise me something: Don't lose the same courage you had when you confessed your feelings to me." SMG3, nods: "I promise." SMG4?: "Goodbye, Three..."

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

SMG3 let out a gasp, his lungs searching for air, as if he was swimming underwater for a long time. He covered his face with his arm, his eyes unable to stand the bright lights.

"SMG3!" "Thank gosh, you're okay!" "Guys, quiet down, he just got out of the simulation."

He could feel several hands helping him sit up from what seemed like a table. He wanted to speak but instead let out a harsh cough, his tongue feeling like sandpaper.

"Woah woah, take it easy. It's okay, you're safe."

He knew that voice. A familiar hand grabbed his, a thumb rubbing his knuckles in comfort.

"He looks so pale." "Dude, it's been weeks." "We should get him to the hospital." "Who did this to him?" "Whoever it was, they got away."

Slowly, Three's senses were coming back, and he immediately turned to the one who comforted him. Four. Three wanted to reach out, be in Four's arms. To let Four kiss him. Let Four tell him "I'm here". But he stopped himself.

It's the real SMG4, not his Four.

Melony took Eggdog out of his cage and handed him to Three, who comforted his son with a tight hug.

Mario: "SMG3, are you okay?" SMG3, his voice dry: "Yeah, I'm fine. Really." SMG4: "Then, why are you crying? Did something happen in the simulation?"

Three reached to touch his face. Four wasn't wrong about that. He swiped the tears away with his gloved hand.

SMG3: "Nothing. Nothing at all."

The Crew looked at each other, unsure of how to respond. Four didn't either, but he gave Three's hand a squeeze.

SMG4: "C'mon, let's go home."

SMG3 could only nod. With a bit of help, SMG4 and Mario carried Three with their arms while the Crew followed behind. Three looked over his shoulder, seeing the simulation contraption completely destroyed, before leaving the hideout for good.

Goodbye, Four.

Part Two

[katebeckets]

LISTEN THROUGH SILENCE: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part Two: Scully

It feels close to you, somehow, to say your name out loud.

playlist / songs ↘

SIX by Sleeping at Last / Similar to with Mulder, I haven't really thought about what enneagram I think Scully might be, but the lyrics of this song are so her. Plus: "I want to believe—no, I choose to believe—that I was made to become a sanctuary." I constantly think about "I want to believe" in the context of Scully because that's very much Mulder's thing, but it takes on so much significance when you think about it relating to Scully (just like Mulder choosing not to believe things takes on special significance as well). Mulder wants to believe in so many things, but Scully wants to believe in Mulder—and she chooses to believe.

RENEGADE by Big Red Machine & Taylor Swift / Very very Scully to Mulder. I mean— "there was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway" and "you fire off missiles 'cause you hate yourself, but do you know you're demolishing me? And then you squeeze my hand as I'm about to leave" and "it's time, you've come a long way / open the blinds, let me see your face / you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody" and "is it insensitive for me to say / get your shit together / so I can love you." But "open the blinds, let me see your face" really gets me because Scully truly does see Mulder, she sees him better than anyone ever has.

BETWEEN THE LINES by Sara Bareilles / Oof, this one huuuurts. I chose the title of this playlist from this song ("listen through silence") because I feel like it goes pretty well with Mulder's playlist ("amidst the chaos," also from a Sara Bareilles song) and because it's so much of what Scully does while Mulder learns—she listens through silence and reads between the lines. ALSO: "I'm queen of attention to details, defending intentions if he fails." Scully is forever the first to defend Mulder no matter what he does, always from a place of love.

BREATHE by Lauv / There are so many songs that could be applied to both of them, but for some reason or another I choose it for one of their individual playlists (this being one of them). I think one of my favorite parts fits Mulder better—"I should leave 'cause you deserve better"—but overall this song made me think of Scully, especially during I Want to Believe. "You're my all and more, but I need room to breathe."

WATER WORSHIP PRAY by Grace Power / This song also makes me think of I Want to Believe, and I especially love this song for Scully because of all the religious imagery. "How can two people fall apart when they both want the same thing? How can my happiness be you, but I'm not happy at all?" OW. And also: "First peace I ever knew / Can't love you well enough to keep you or enough to let you go / I'd rather stay in purgatory with you than in heaven alone."

IF PATIENCE DOESN'T KILL ME by Alison Sudol / I'm very aware that this is a pretty specific sound that not everyone will love, but I love Alison Sudol and I feel like this song is perfect for Scully so I kept it anyway. I just feel like the lyrics fit her perfectly—"if patience is a virtue, I abound / ... / if patience doesn't kill me, I'm yours." And it's where the description comes from—"it feels close to you, somehow, to say your name out loud." It feels like they constantly are calling for each other both because they want them there and trust they will be there, but also because the simple act of calling for each other makes them feel less alone.

GIVE UP THE GHOST by Rosi Golan & Johnny McDaid / Another song I love (I would've titled this "Quiet the Noise" if I hadn't already used that as a playlist title) that takes on new meaning when you think about it in an MSR context. Ghosts take on a different significance when thinking about Mulder (also, @leiascully just KILLED me with her fic and "I don't love anything more than I love you, Scully. Not even ghosts." Literally what the fuck). Even the very beginning of this song—"come here, it's all worth the fight when it's you, dear." And "slow down, we're losing the meaning of words now / quiet the noise 'cause we made a mountain of minuscule things." And Scully really does quiet his noise.

THE BEACON by A Fine Frenzy / The lyrics in the gifset are from this song and if I could write out the entire song without it being ridiculous, I would. I swear this could truly be a song written by Scully about Mulder. I mean, just starting with the first verse: "You say your time has come / you're tired of waking up / don't be obscene, I can't conceive of living without you / You say you drag me down, no one should want you now / I start to cry, you kiss my eyes and say I'm not allowed to." And then, AND THEN the second verse: "you were a child forgot / lessons of love untaught / now no embrace can quite replace the one that never found you / I was raised tenderly / all that was taught to me / I will apply / Your parents tried, but they didn't know how to." Like. Okay. Sure. That's fine.

SATURN by Sleeping at Last / I know I'm not alone with this one because I've seen multiple videos of them set to this song, but I chose to put it on Scully's playlist because it really makes me think of Mulder's abduction arc/when he wakes up in "Deadalive." Just imagine her listening to this song sitting by his side, holding his hand, willing him to wake up. GAH.

YOU MATTER TO ME by Jessie Mueller & Drew Gehling / This is another song I was debating for both of them, but the first verse especially makes me think of Scully: "I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes / they've seen things you never quite say, but I hear / come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you / and I'll stay there as long as you'll let me."

SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME by Sara Bareilles / This song wrecks me and has some of the most beautiful lyrics I've ever heard. One reason I love it for Scully is because of the hug at the end of "Irresistable." This is another song I would have considered for a playlist title ("my home, my heart") if I hadn't already used it before. But the way it's sung always gets to me—"my home, my heart, thank god you are someone who loves me," like she's exhaling into the safety of his arms.

I F*CKING LOVE YOU by Zolita / The song pretty much says it all: "what if I let it slip, tell you that oh my god, I fucking love you."

WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT by Emily James / I absolutely love the first part of this song when she says "I just wanna say that I'm not going anywhere anytime soon unless it's with you." What really made me think of MSR was this, though: "'cause we've been busy lying to ourselves, swearing it would never work / promising that we were just friends / it's funny how it doesn't make sense / and then it does." And I love the idea of Scully thinking again about how different her life is, how this is so far from where she thought she'd be, but with a little bit of wonder: "who would've thought that it would've been you?"

[luveline]

what abt a kbd thing where like all the girls either can’t sleep and one by one they all end up all cuddled in w mom & steve

tysm! ♡ kisses before dinner au. mom!reader, 1.3k

"You haven't aged." 

Steve's smile is smarmy across the pillow from you. "That's because you see me everyday." 

"I'm serious. Apart from like, two little wrinkles in your forehead, you look exactly the same as you did when we first started dating." 

"I know it feels like a long time, but that was only eight years ago." 

"Almost nine," you whisper. 

Steve kisses you gently. "Almost nine," he repeats against your lips. "Are you sick of me yet?" 

"No," you answer truthfully. "Not even close." 

Steve's hand takes your cheek, his thumb quick to rub the path you like over the skin just below your eye. It makes you feel so pretty to be looked at, to be held by him, and so special to be treated like you're made of glass. 

Baby sleeps in the crib in the corner of your room. She's no longer brand new and, as you knew she would, she's gotten used to all the bumps and bangs of a busy house. She sleeps almost always through the night now, eight pm to five or six in the morning. The hardest part of having a young baby is over, and you and Steve are learning to be normal humans again. 

You put the girls to bed at seven, and at eight thirty, you can hear them still awake. All of them. None of your girls are subtle, but you try not to punish them, because they've all done well with the new baby's constant crying. 

"Who do you think will come and see us first?" Steve asks you, stroking your cheek.

You attempt to answer him through his dotting of kisses, half moons pressed lovingly to your nose, your eyebrow, your temple. Thoroughly loved up, you curl your arms around him to hide. 

"Don't know," you murmur, sighing a breath of contentment as Steve hugs you close. "Probably Beth." 

"Definitely Beth. I love when you hug me like this, you're like…" He pulls you ever closer, hands massaging up your back. "You're very huggable." 

"Not very nice to say, I just had your fourth baby, you know? You could give me a minute." 

Steve laughs warmly against your forehead, kiss-kiss-kissing the same spot he always does, your little pale scar from a rogue screwdriver. You'd been constructing Avery's toddler bed, and you swore you could do it alone while he got some sleep, but you almost blinded yourself and Avery slept in bed with you for a couple more weeks. The scar is permanent but nearly invisible. Anyone else would forget you had it. 

"I'm not telling you you're beautiful again today. Everyone was jealous and my dinner went cold." 

"No one else is here," you say. 

"Not true. The baby's here, she might hear me subliminally. That would be worse." 

A little knock rings against the door. You and Steve laugh against the other before peeling apart. Steve sits up in bed and you rest your face against his hip, pleased when he covers your arm with a big hand. 

"Come in, please," he says. 

Bethie slips in through a small gap in the doorway, closing it behind herself. Her hair is out of her face for the night, her pyjamas a bright sky blue with white polka dots. She's hip height now, surprisingly tall —you hadn't been expecting her to shoot up like Avery, nor for her chubby cheeks to disappear, but that's the horror and joy of having them grow up. 

"Hi, honey. What's the matter?" Steve asks. 

"Can I come and lie down too? I can't sleep."

There's no real reason to say no. You don't have to confer. You slide your legs away from Steve as he pulls back the blanket, beckoning her forward to fill the gap. 

She must think getting to hangout with you guys after bedtime is naughty and exciting, giggling as she runs across the room and climbs up onto your bed. You make a big, "Oof," as she drops into your chest but you're happy to have her, kissing you're not so mini me on the cheek. 

"You smell nice," you say, sniffing her hair. "Mmm, yummy coconut." 

"You smell nice too, mom. Like the green dish soap." 

"'Cos dad made me do all the dishes." 

Steve pinches the top of your ear and gives it a short tug. "It's good for you. Character building." 

"You're lucky my Beth is here," you grumble, your fingertips tracing up and down her back.

"Hello?"  

Your heads turn to the door where Dove pushes it open. She doesn't ask like Beth once she sees you all, just sprints to the side where Steve sits and pats his legs. He grabs her to plaster her in kisses. She plasters him right back. 

Your mommy's girl is on the turn. You can't blame her. 

"You have to get Avery," you say, patting Steve's thigh. 

She had a wobble a few months ago worrying she wasn't anyone's favourite kid. You've never seen Steve cry like, ashamed of himself for failing as a father. You haven't failed anything, you'd said, rubbing his arm, we just have to do better. 

Steve takes Dove with him on his chest. You can't understand how he carries them around all day, he must have built up some dad muscle. 

He's your everything. Well, second to the kids. It's a different kind of love but unfailing, always. You watch him leave and can't wait for him to come back, like a string pulled taut; you're relaxed when he's near. 

"Let's move over," you say, shuffling to your cold side of the bed. You'd been encroaching on Steve's space during snuggles. 

Beth puts her arm over your soft tummy and her face on your shoulder. "Can I sleep here?" she asks. 

Sharing the bed with your kids is a wriggling, boiling mess, but you have a queen size for a reason. "Yeah, gorgeous. You can sleep right here." 

Avery is wide awake when she appears, her Teddy bear in hand, her pyjamas an old t-shirt and the new plaid pants you had to buy when you realised she'd outgrown virtually every pair of pyjamas she owned. "I'm happy you missed me, I can't sleep," she says, climbing into bed to squish down next to Beth. "You have glitter on your cheek." 

"Where?" Beth asks. 

Avery scratches the glitter away carefully, tongue poking out of her lips in concentration. She may as well be Steve's twin when she makes that expression. 

Steve has hiked Dove higher now, her arms over one shoulder, his hand patting a mindless rhythm into the pink fabric of her nightie. He checks on the baby quickly before plopping Dove down on Avery's right. "Ready, girls?" he asks. 

You all nod. Steve takes the end of the comforter into his hands and shakes it out high, letting the top drift down onto you. Then he comes to your side and tucks it against your waist and legs. He kisses you, Bethie's cheek, and Avery's nose. 

Dove is furious by the time he makes it back. "Don't show off, babe, you get the best one." He scoops her up, flops down, and has her laying on his chest. You see him take Avery's hand under the blankets. "So, girls. What's first? Truth or dare or gossip? 'Cos Denise the checkout girl told me something really interesting about Debrah this morning and I've been trying to get you all in the same place." 

You smile into Beth's hair. Dove decides for you, "Who's Debrah?" 

"I'm glad you asked!" 

[1000plants]

Tell Me A Story

Bucky Barnes x reader (male)

Summary: Drabble based on this prompt: One person has been on the waiting list to check out a library book for months. The other person has the long-overdue book. The two coincidentally meet one day at the library.

Warnings- Some swearing

Word count- almost 2k

Author's Note- I liked this prompt then hated it then liked it again lmao

Masterlist

✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°

“I’m sorry, sir…” The librarian sighs with an apologetic smile as you walk into the library. They had been dealing with your incessance for the past month- or longer, “We still haven't gotten the book back yet.”

The fact that they recognized you upon entry might have been more off putting, but it made your day go by much smoother. Not needing to go through the whole process of checking if the book you wanted was here yet… you'd take that even if it meant being known as that guy.

You had taken maybe all of ten steps into the library, it smelled heavily of parchment, ink, and that vague people smell. And goddamn it was one of your favorite things ever. Though, it was unfortunately paired with one of your  least favorite phrases ever-  it’s not in yet.

“Oh are you shittin’ me?” You grumble under your breath, tugging off your gloves as you walk towards the main desk. Your face was chilled from the brisk late autumn/early winter air. There were flurries starting outside and all you fucking wanted was the stupid Hobbit book.

It was a tradition you didn't even realize you had started with yourself. Right after Halloween, you devoted the following week to rereading the Hobbit. It started after your second year in college, you read the book by recommendation from a professor and just kept rereading it at the same time every year since. By that point, you had seen the movie plus all of the Lord of The Rings movies, but the books had evaded you. 

“Any updates, at least?” You sigh out, leaning your forearms against the high counters of the librarians desk, gloves loosely clutched in your hand. Sure, you could probably buy the book in just about any store… but that would most definitely ruin the experience for you. It was silly to think, but there was something about borrowing it from a library, a book used and loved by countless others before you, and curling up on your couch to read it in just a week that was absolutely heavenly for you.

The librarian shook their head ‘no’, causing you to dejectedly sigh and steal a quick glance around the main room, “The person who has it checked out is very overdue, unfortunately,” they laughed as they pulled up the book information on the computer in front of them.

“Yeah,” you dryly chuckle, trying not to misplace your unhappiness onto the worker who was just doing their damn job, they were probably just as annoyed by the delay as you were, “It was already a week overdue by the time I went to reserve it.”

You pulled your lips into a thin lined smile, slapping the desk lightly as you took a step back to leave.

Maybe you should just go to the bookstore, bite the bullet and just buy the damn thing. Then your new tradition could be digging it out of storage every year along with all your holiday decorations and -- “Oof-!”

“Oh, ‘m bad, sorry,” a deep voice mumbled from behind you. 

You had been so lost in your own thoughts you hadn't been paying attention to anything around you, and you just backed completely into some random guy. Nice going, idiot.

“Sorry, man,” you quickly say back, swiveling around instinctively holding out a hand towards him to make sure he hadn't fallen or something.

But… god, there was no way he would've fallen. No matter how quickly you backed into him. The man was at least 6’ tall, broad shoulders and seemingly built like a brickhouse. It might've just been the hoodie/jacket combo that added to his mass, but something in you said that the clothes were just accentuating how much he actually had.

You didn't even realize you had been staring at the man, he was walking just a few steps towards your left to the book return spot, and you wouldn't have snapped out of your trance unless you caught a glimpse of the book he had.

The Hobbit.

… this mother fu-

“Hey!” The librarian said with a cheery grin, holding out their hand for the book instead of letting him drop it into the return area, “Looks like we do have it after all!”

The man doesn't really have a reaction as he hands them the book, seeming more confused than anything else. He glanced at you and gave you a slight smile - a smirk? Maybe?

“Y-you…” You started to mumble out, eyes locked on your prize as the librarian scans it.

“Been waiting for it long?” He asks, rubbing the back of his neck as he also watches his book getting checked in. There was a slightly embarrassed blush across his cheeks, or it could be from the cold perhaps. He swiftly pulled out his wallet to pay the overdue fee, which was probably a decent amount by this point.

“Just over a month,” you huff out, stepping to the side to let him pay as the librarian reads out the amount he owes.

You knew you shouldn't really say anything, you’d finally get the book you'd been looking for and could fulfil this little tradition you had, "Could've returned it sooner,” You mindlessly comment.

Immediate regret sinks in, you press your lips firmly together and stare sheepishly at the countertop. It was the holiday season and you were being pissy about an overdue book.

But the man didn't seem too put off by your comment, he just chuckled and gave a half hearted shrug as he tucked his card back into his wallet. It was a black card, you noticed.

So this fucker had basically infinite money and was still unable to return a damn book on time?

“I should’ve, you're right,” He admitted simply, glancing at you as he leaned against the counter. He was getting comfortable, almost like he was analyzing your moves the same way he’d analyze a book. It forced you to step closer to him to get the book checked out.

“But, in my defense,” He adds, glancing at you with a hint of a smirk on his lips. It was hard to see his face since he had a hat tugged over his head, but you could tell he had a light beard and longer brown hair, “I never have to deal with anyone else impatiently waiting for it.”

You wanted to roll your eyes, but the realization that you finally had your book was lifting your spirits more and more. You couldn't help the softer smile that overcame you as you worked to get out your library card, the familiar worn out cover of the book filled you with a simple kind of warmth.

“Its… its just this stupid tradition I have,” you explain, holding your card under the reader while the librarian stamps the inner book cover, “I read it the same time every year.”

He nodded, almost reverently as if the book was just as important to him. Which, it might be, you don't know. You notice his lingering gaze on the book, “Good tradition.” He simply comments.

You also nodded, feeling a little less embarrassed by your attachment to the book. You were both quiet as you took the book from the librarian, you held it tightly. The worn cover felt familiar against your fingers and palm, still slightly warm since it had been hot potatoed between people. 

“You… you like the book, at least?" You finally mustered up the courage to actually speak directly to him. You hold up the book, taking a few steps away from the counter if someone else needs the checkout desk. The sudden feeling of sheepishness that had settled in your body was something you hadn't expected. Your heart beat a little faster, a little harder, and you were grateful for the book to hold onto so that your hands didn't fidget.

The man followed you, a bigger grin across his lips as he nodded enthusiastically, “Oh, yeah! It’s a great book. I- I’ve read it a bunch of times,” He admits, locking eyes with you.

He shifted on his feet a few times, maybe jitters that matched your own, or the chill from the outside as he tried to get his blood pumping again.

“I’m… I’m sorry for, uh, keepin’ it checked out for so long,” He mutters again, turning his head to look away from you.

You softly smiled, lightly tapping the book against his arm, not noticing the distinct sound of metal, “I know I sounded a little pissed, but it’s not really a big deal. I’m, uhm, sorry I overreacted.” You were still feeling bad. This man had been nothing but kind and you clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

“You had the right to be pissed,” He snorted. There was a beat of silence between the two of you. You crossed your arms lightly over your chest, and he mirrored it a moment later.

“Uhm, what's- uh, what's that tradition you were talking about?” the man stuttered out. You would call it flustered, but you wern't about to get ahead of yourself.

“Uh, right,” You say, your voice was a little more airy than usual, “It’s, it’s nothing crazy,” You look down at the book in your hand, then back to him, “In college a teacher had me read it, and I just liked it so much I kept reading it in mid November, gets me in the holiday mood for some reason.”

The word November made the man suck in air through his teeth, he shoots you a sheepish smile, “I hope early December is good enough?” He teases.

“December is definitely fine, don't worry…” You trail off, looking at him expectantly for his name. This mystery man who had been harboring your book wasn't goin to stay a mystery to you for much longer.

“James- ah- Bucky. Everyone calls me Bucky,” He quickly offers, his smile growing a bit more. The way his eyes widened with excitement reminded you of a dog. He prompts you for your name nd when you tell him he repeats it back softly. Like he was testing how it sounded.

“...I like that name,” Bucky whispers.

Normally, the unrestrained smile on you face, the heat in your cheeks, and the butterflies in your stomach would make you recoil. But feeling them for Bucky felt more right than wrong. Hell, it didn't feel wrong at all.

And maybe that's why you felt bold. Maybe it was the relief of getting your book that prompted your next move… maybe it was the holiday spirit.

“It’d look a lot better in your phone,” You confidently say, for once your shaky voice didn't betray you. You hold out your hand, nodding slightly for him to give you his phone.

Bucky quickly pulled out his phone, not once taking his eyes off of you, like you'd disappear if he did. You had to bite back the laugh at how may times he nearly dropped his phone as he fishes it out for you.

Once you get it, you punch in your number and name. You hand it back to him, catching a glimpse at the time, which tells you you need to get going. You clumsily gave your excuse, waving to him briefly as you turned to make your way out of the library. With your back to him, you didn't need to hide the goofy smile that had been making your face ache the entire time. 

It wasn't until you were about a block away, huddled in your coat with your hands buried in your pockets to hide from the chill, you then felt your phone vibrate. Checking the message from the nameless number made your heart soar.

Youre right, it does look good. But the phrase “Want to grab coffee sometime?” might be better. -Bucky

[loveephia]

Can you do Bokuto, Tendou Suna, Iwaizumi? So that they see their girlfriend again after she was away for a long time? I love You Work!!💕💕💕💕💕

how some of the HQ boys would react to seeing their girlfriend again after a long time from a business trip. (bokuto, tendō, suna, iwaizumi.)

content: (🦷) tooth-rotting fluff, them being very sulky generally, you guys are married here, suna's is inspired by a scene in the k-drama "true beauty", kita cameo in iwaizumi's, and yes, atsumu says an among us reference.

⚠ warning/s: manga spoilers.

note: THIS REQ WAS SO CUTE WHATATAT@?(# i haven't written for tendō, BUT i love a good challenge. >:3 iwaizumi's ended up being a bit long on accident. 😭 THANK YOU ANON AND ENJOY READING!!!

BOKUTO KŌTARŌ

when you told him you'd be gone for three WHOLE months, his hair just drooped down, the gleam in his eyes are no longer there, and his childish grin is gone.

baby literally gets so sulky about it :(((

"do you really have to?"

HE HAS THE PUPPY DOG EYES AND EVERYTHING STOPPTKEPDK 😭😭😭😭

"believe me, kō. as much as i don't want to stay away for that long, i have to."

every day he wakes up (with his arms around a pillow instead of you), he tries to be optimistic

"another day closer to seeing my wife!"

can't have him messing up at practice yk

but when he finally sees you at the airport, gosh, he's just all smiley about it

he picks you up and spins you around like in the movies

"i missed you so, so, so much!" he's pecking your face all over, ignoring the looks from other people, because hIS WIFE IS BACK 😭😭😭😭

"kō.. people are staring." you giggled

"let them!"

SATORI TENDŌ

"no way—! you gotta be joking!"

HE IS IN UTTER DISBELIEF.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO BE GONE FOR THREE MONTHS???

"who's gonna be my taste tester then!?" his voice cracks

the tendō chocolatier business CANNOT FUNCTION WITHOUT IT'S OFFICIAL TASTE TESTER.

before you leave, he gives you a free box of handmade chocolates galore to snack on the plane

and, ofc, a little kiss on the cheek

when you open the box on the plane, there's a little note

"don't eat'em all on one go! love yaaa~ :3" HOW CUTEJKSJDKEJDK

when you're finally back from the trip, you stumble into tendō's arms

"oof—!" he says before patting your head, "there, there, y/n."

SUNA RINTARŌ

"what." he deadpans

"i know.. but i have to—"

"no way. i don't accept this. you're seriously leaving me?" he sounds so offended that people may think you two are fighting.

he pretends to be all mad about it, but you know he's just joking around

so when you're gone, suna has to physically hOLD HIMSELF BACK FROM CALLING YOU EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY

"she wouldn't want a clingy boyfr— husband." he corrects himself

yeah, he calls you anyway.

when you pick up, you say, "hello, my tarō! how are you?" in that sICKENINGLY KIND TONE SUNA HAS OH, SO MISSED 😭😭

you've only been gone for three days

"please come home. i miss you. please." did he just say please twice?

when you're finally home, it takes every inch of sanity left in suna so as not to drag you away for cuddles

the expression on his face tells you everything, and you giggle. "i'll just shower first, then we can cuddle." and his face LIGHTS UP

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

"even oikawa's said some terrible jokes, but this one is by far the worst."

"nope! it's not a joke, baby."

when you're gone, iwaizumi is so upset because you'd usually give him a little kiss goodbye whenever he goes off to work :((

so now he's extra grumpy while coaching the national jpn team.

"oi, hinata! you should've been able to get that one!"

"if you can't hit it right, another hundred laps for you, ushiwaka!"

"suna, stop slacking off, or i'll have that old captain of yours come back and scold you!"

suna knows iwaizumi's threat was only towards him, but that statement got even ATSUMU AND ARAN SHIVERING.

SO THE TEAM IS ALL LIKE "???" BECAUSE WHO PUSHED IWAIZUMI'S BUTTONS SO EARLY IN THE MORNING 😭

"which one of you is it. come on, fess up!" hoshiumi hisses

"i believe bokuto lost iwaizumi's pen the other day." ushijima states

"wow, are we just throwing each other under the bus now?" suna snickers

"it was an accident! i didn't know he'd get this mad about it!" bokuto tried to defend himself, "come on, tell them, atsumu!"

"i was in cafeteria with grey." atsumu lifts both hands up, metaphorically waving the white flag

"you all are insufferable." sakusa groans

you can imagine how confused the team got when after three months, iwaizumi's mood was no longer grouchy since you had finally come home

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Wallter x very romantic/flirtious!reader

Basically; Reader is a very romantic and courteous gentleman (gender-netural) who lays the flirting thick and cheesy, and acts very suave, Literally indulges in all love languages like gifting, physical touch, etc. And will sing a whole entire love song with back up singers and do dances to prove their love-

Did I request this because I just remembered that Mark actually never gave flowers to Wallter? Yes.

Oof every now and then I remember that :((

.........

It didn't take long for Wallter to realize your affections for him.

From the moment you met him in the Flatgrass fields, in fact, you were falling head over heels, determined to woo the concrete man.

Your floor was dedicated to romantic things (plus in your universe, you were a celebrity of sorts), which he's seen before on his trips in the elevator, so he thought some of your flirtatious gestures and words were....a bit over-the-top and silly.

Surely that's how you acted with everyone, right?

Well..all of that changes when one evening, you show up to his home and surprise him with flowers, deciding to profess your love.

Even if you were rejected, you would be okay with it, knowing you at least got to express your honest feelings.

It was a simple bouquet of daises, but it was enough to stun him into silence for the longest time...which made you worry that you've come off too strongly.

Then he suddenly looked sad, and you fully expected a rejection there.

However, instead Wallter accepted the bouquet and invited you inside, where he opens up to you about his divorce.

At first you feel terrible, never knowing he and Mark had a relationship in the first place.

But he reassures you that it's his fault for not mentioning that, and he's since healed from it and is ready for someone new. Someone who made him feel special and won't stomp on his love for concrete.

Gifting him flowers was something Mark never did in the six years they've been married. And while a simple thing to anyone else, it meant so much to Wallter that they came from you.

He admits to liking you as well, and you couldn't be happier.

To make sure he felt extra special, you dialed your romantic gestures up to 11 and kept up the cheesy and suave remarks about how handsome he is, how you love reading his poetry (even writing some poems yourself), and spoiling him after a hard day's work.

Pretty soon everyone who visited the elevator knew you two were dating. Even the damn Fish.

Funny enough, Wallter doesn't feel like he depends on wet cement as much as he used to.

Of course he still enjoys it from time to time, but now it's not every day.

For your one-year anniversary, you bring him and the other occupants to your floor where there's a stage and put on a hell of a show, singing a song about love and even having your own backup singers and/or dancers performing alongside you.

That was the most beautiful thing Wallter bore witness to. So much so it brought tears to his eyes, knowing you were serious and fully committed to being his partner.

Folly sometimes taunts him about his heart getting broken again, knowing that he's afraid to repeat the past and still thinks of Mark in his dreams.

"Sometimes, you wish [y/n] was that mannequin instead. You haven't truly let go of him. You never will."

"Maybe not, but [y/n] knows my past with him. And they've accepted it regardless. They've made me feel ten times more loved and appreciated, and that's all I could ask for."

"...but it won't last forever."

"Maybe not, but until then I'll cherish every moment with them."

[inbabylontheywept]

So. So. I have a horrific backlog in my inbox, and past attempts at answering it have generated more asks. Generally at a higher rate than I could answer the asks. Exceeding escape velocity. And I've been mulling over how to solve this, and my idea was to create a super-bus answer post. It'll be a little lengthy, so, you know. Click read more at your own risk. Roll them dice.

Well, you clicked it. God speed and god bless.

--- @meowserita says

I feel obligated to tell you i stayed up till four am reading a bunch of you stories, because they're incredible. Also feel like saying that the only other times ive stayed up this late in recent memory is when i was binge reading one piece so take that as you will. We'll see how much i regret this but odds are i wont like i didnt regret staying up reading one piece

Hahaha! Ha! Oof. I am extremely flattered and awed and impressed but also, my stories are going to be there tomorrow, and the next day, and maybe forever depending on how this whole "civilization" thing pans out. So. Sleep more. But also thank you for being a mega fan.

I had like, a week long binge of Naruto in middleschool that was awful. I didn't even like the show that much. People recommend anime to me now, and I feel like a former alcoholic turning down drinks at a party. No thank you, there's a 99% that will simply help be relax after work one day and a 1% chance that will ruin my life and I'll catch myself unironically saying "believe it!" years later, and I just can't take that chance. I have too many people depending on me.

---

Anonymous says

i see you are also from Utah. do you have a favorite swig menu item

No. I've never actually been into a Swig. There were a few soda shops back in AZ, but I never really got them either - I'm still not sure how a gummy shark in a blue soda is supposed to make it taste better.

My poison is generally gas station stuff. Slurpees are amazing, and I also like their little pickled sausage snack things. Probably literal poison, but they call to me.

---

Anonymous says

four more messages in my head. four more tests of sanity.

hm. troubling. hope you pass.

---

Anonymous says

yooo “fireflies infinity mirror room” mention!!! i lived in Tempe for a few years…one time i was making my way down the escalator from the PHX skytrain and there was a group of like 20-30 Mormons (?) at the base of the escalator waiting there to welcome out-of-state Mormons to some sort of Mormon convention in…well, Mesa, presumably? google is now telling me it may have been for the Easter pageant.

That does sound likely. My grandpa was actually in charge of the easter pageant for a few years down there - I actually broke my arm on the little pony Mary rides to Bethlehem. I was trying to keep my little brother and sister on it by using my arms as a seatbelt, but when they fell off anyway, I just had to kids land on my arm from 6 foot drop and got blessed me with a third elbow. I had some crazy ideas on how to become a professional baseball player with it, but my dad insisted we go to the hospital to do drugs, and when I woke up they fixed the damn thing. Could've gone pro.

---

@synapticwanderer says

hello! just wanted to say I'm a big fan, your stories make me laugh and sometimes cry and sometimes both, sometimes at once. when my partner asks me what I'm laughing so hard at I read them to them, and sometimes I just go read them to them anyway. thank you for sharing your delightful way with words with us, and I hope you don't mind that I've got notifications on for your posts (you and I think three other writers at the moment) anyway, have a great day!

I don't mind! I hope I haven't ruined that privilege, actually, I shitpost more than most people think. I like mixing happy and sad as well as silly and earnest. But. Yes. A lot of shitposts.

Anyway, thank you for the comment! Happy trails.

---

@funnynamedottxt says

I kept hearing about your wrestling post, and then I saw the word “bisexual” when you were talking about it, so, needless to say, I sought it out immediately.

And, while this isn’t technically part of the actual post, in that reblog where you were talking to that one dude about sexism and societal issues and shit, you made some pussy joke about Lake Michigan and that may just be the best thing I’ve read all week.

Sorry about the run on sentence btw, I know it probably deeply hurts the writer in you, but I find it funny and am too lazy to self-censor sooooo

I'm glad you had a good time reading it. I don't know which gender I'd imagine the great lakes as to be honest. I just know that their thing with Michigan is beautiful and would be very distracting should I ever become an astronaut. I don't want to make fun of people for wanting a better world, and I would actually say I did a botch job on my response. Didn't realize it until several hundred people got mad at me. I know I write well, and the catch .22 of that is that people assume that my ability to read the room is probably higher than it is.

Anyway. I don't fault them for getting mad. Not my finest hour.

And I'm not a snob about run on sentences by the way. English teachers want to make rules about how you write and rules to follow, but that's because they need to grade by rubrics for it to be fair. It turns an art form into something mechanical though. Just make it natural and the rest comes after.

---

@00x7 says

Hi. I hope you're doing well.

I had read your wrestling story. I had not laughed so hard in a great many years. I thank you for this, though I am also sympathetic to your misfortunes.

There was enough going on that I was naturally curious if you were or are Mormon, a curiosity born from being someone who grew up as such myself (something that being queer doesn't really bump up nicely against, though you hardly would need to hear such a thing from me), and which visiting your blog quickly answered for me.

Of course, scrolling down for two seconds immediately had me realize that you were also the kid with the grandpa and the worms. I had read the worm story before, but visiting somewhere and realizing it was you was a nearly transcendent experience. My third eye was rather forcibly opened. What a storied life you have had.

Anyway, as an amateur writer, I'm very happy to have found your blog. We don't know eachother, but your words resonate with me.

Whenever you read this, I hope you have a good one. Thank you.

Oh! That's my favorite thing - when people like two different stories with very different tones. It's kind of a would you love me if I wasn't beautiful sort of question - would you like my writing if it wasn't purely silly? And it makes me happy when the answer is yes.

I actually wandered through your blog to try and find your writing, but I didn't have much luck. I'd love to see some, if you're willing. Send me a link if you keep it on another platform. I couldn't do a critique if I wanted to - all my writing knowledge is just gut level stuff that I don't know how to share - but it's just a fun way to know people. And sometimes, I see a style and I go ah, I can pick a few shiny bits off this and wear them around.

---

@turtletotem says Your bio says to tell you if we write, so, new follower here, and i write! Lots of fanfic (links in bio) and also original fiction under Shelly Greene and Elizabeth Belyeu (both on Amazon). Feel free to check it out, but I won’t take it personal if you don’t, lol.

I checked your pages on AO3 for this, and alas - No snippets for me first. You write books and novels, which is something I've always aspired towards, and never really suceeded at. I had this view when I started writing short stories that I'd eventually writer longer stories and serials and in fact I just got better at writing short stories. Which isn't much of a tragedy, actually, but it's a road I haven't really moved forward on yet. Writer to writer.

As a reader, I already have several books I've promised to read people. If you have any shorter works (less than 5k words?) lob them my way though! c

---

Anonymous says

Just read your post about Atlas Shrugged (my condolences, comrade) and I must, simply MUST ask if you've ever heard of The Cobra Commander Dialogues? It asks the very important question "what if Cobra Commander was there and found this all at best inane and stupid, and at worst it offended his villainous sensibilities?" As someone who hasn't read the book OR watched the cartoon I found it very entertaining!

I just took a peeksies at those - they're beautiful. Dialogue is a great weakness of mine, and it is hard not to be a little envious of this writer. Thanks for sharing this with me.

For the curious

---

Anonymous says

Your story about the breakup and the olives and the Slim Jim's and your dad made me cry -- not like, tear up, but an actual good cry for a couple minutes. I don't totally know why I reacted like that but I definitely felt better in some way afterwards. So, thanks. I think I'm gonna remember that story for the rest of my life.

The story stuck with me both because everyone involved was good. My ex's dad, the neighbor, my dad - everyone was doing their best. And it was true, wasn't it? Brains are good at remembering bad things. It's a breakup. And it hurt like hell. But the pain of that memory carries with it this feeling well, even when things suck, people don't. I also liked this view of my dad parenting so consciously. It wasn't a background thing to him. He thought a lot about what he was doing, and what he was saying, and how he was treating me. I owe him big for that.

---

Anonymous says

What did you do with the left shoes after your date?

So, I think teenagers like being able to convey fuck you, I do what I want through their clothes. There are punk scenes for that, and goth, and other things. My way of doing that was just dressing aggressively badly. Mismatched plaids and sports jackets meant for people half my height and twice my width, purchased from goodwill, and basketball shorts mixed with knee high socks and on and on. That was part of my teenage rebellion.

Anyway, I added the shoes in and just wore mismatching shoes to make the outfit worse, both because it was a fashion crime, and because it was a litltle inside joke with my friends who knew the story. I wound up losing them over the years because I would use the left sets as makeshift projectiles.

---

@galapagos-spinch says

I just wanted to compliment you on your story about wrestling a girl in middle school, you're a fantastic writer

Thanks. I have some regrets about that story, but it was fun to write, and it from a craft standpoint, i am proud of it. I appreciate the comment. :)

---

Anonymous says

equality is when young boys aren't allowed physical boundaries i guess

Eesh. We're getting to wrestling asks. Look, when we all signed up for wrestling, we signed up to wrestle girls. It's part of the sport. If your boundary is to not wrestle girls, the way you maintain it is by not signing up for wrestling. The point of my response, which I did not convey clearly enough, was to ask for forgiveness for failure. A middle school boy falling short of the right thing is different from a middle school boy seeking to do the wrong thing, and as a bar, it's...

It's the kind of thing I'd hope people would go, Well, they're shits, but I can't hate them over it. Don't defend us as having done the right thing - we did not. Just, have some grace for the weakness of teens. They're still growing, and if you put too much pressure on them, they'll crumble. And we crumbled.

---

Anonymous says

Hey there! Sorry, not actually a question, just wanted to say I've seen posts of yours reblogged before on occasion and I finally started following you because you're a gifted storyteller and your stories are hilarious, poignant, or both!

Oh! A relief. This is so nice. Thank you. Hopefully you read this. Maybe I should turn anonymous asks off or something going forward if I set myself on doing more of these super-bus replies.

---

Anonymous says

i am crying with laughter at your stories. the way you tell them is perfect, please never stop

I'll try. I had a several month period of no writing after burning out on HFY. Wasn't sure how to make a genre change. I'll probably have more periods of quiet like that, but to be honest, my writing is probably my favorite thing that I do. I like engineering, and I'm pretty good at it, but I love this, and I am very good at it, and in periods where I don't write it feels almost painful.

---

@auronlu says

just sending you some gentle love from an older queer person.

My parents moved to Utah after I went to grad school. I am eternally grateful that my dad turned down that promotion the first time, when I was about to enter high school, because I didn't want to lose my friends and move to Utah and go to school there in the 80s.

So I escaped, but I've seen a little bit of what you had to go through and I've heard from some of my mom's friends that she's made there how hard it is when you don't conform. I'm glad you were able to escape and that you have your own life now.

I bet that girl remembers you and that when these topics come up, she's not as willing to throw people like us under the bus without question.

you did the best you could in a very difficult situation, and by being you, you helped some of the next generation realize the lines they're told about queer people may not be true.

There may have been a closeted or questioning kid in that class, reassured by your example or simple refusal to show prejudice. you don't know what positive impact you had on those kids, but you went in with the best intentions you could and I have a feeling you did more good than you know.

take care and have a good life

( note: my main blog is actuslly @sepdet )

This is actually one of the earliest asks that I didn't want to answer because I didn't want to lose it. For anyone else looking, they're talking about a story I told about teaching primary as a Mormon.

I hope she does. I don't think anyone in the ward ever actually knew I was bi - I kept that very close to my chest. Even after I left. The kids certainly didn't. But they knew that I loved them very much, and they apparently felt strongly that I was a good person. I think the lesson I gave them was that a person can leave the church and still be good. I hope that serves them well.

---

@karmaajr says

UR A FUNNY GUY 🫵

aw yissssss

---

@abisexualfrog says

Hello, I just wanted to say that I really like your stories and the way you write, your style

Sometimes I’m in a bad mood and then I go read a few of your stories -I especially like the ones at your work- and it cheers me up because of how funny it is. (The fridge story? So good)(oh and the water balloon and and and… endless)

Im not super good at compliment because well English isn’t my first language and all that but I figured I could still tell you, can’t hurt.

So yeah I really really enjoy your writing!! It’s so good!

And not just the stories of things that happened to you, the other ones too, they are also very good

This is another one of the ones I kept because I didn't want to lose it.

Thank you for reading my stories. Your english is fantastic. And it is rare to get comments on my old fictional sci-fi pieces - those were kind of my baby's-first-steps. If you read those you are in deep, and I am incredibly touched.

I'd hug you if I could.

---

@rockinhand says

the red bun on those burgers was actually dyed via Beets. i tried it when it was around and it was unremarkable

I know what this is referring to. Surprisingly. But I will leave it be and just enjoy have this remain esoteric bordering on arcane.

---

@newkittypoom says

i saw your reblog on that falin fanart and i was like "wait. this is the 28 eggs snake guy?" and i came from the post about your wrasslin days and i saw you answer an ask about being ex-mormon and well. im definitely following the blog for your writing. thanks for sharing these stories!

thanks for commenting! It's flattering to get recognized online. Means my writing voice is distinct. Got a little niche and I'm thrivin' in it.

---

Anonymous says

I'm sure someone must have pointed this out by now, but you weren't dating just because she thought you were dating. If that wasn't the kind of relationship you thought you were in, you weren't dating. She was just being presumptuous. You didn't "accidentally date" someone. You can't. Dating is a mutual, consensual thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Phrasing and all.

--

@nbspacegay says

(1)

Hi I read your dating stories they are hilarious. I am spiritually holding hands with you because I too am terrible at dating. I accidentally pterodactyl screamed at my boyfriend when he told me he loved me once. I did also love him. I just panicked, screamed and then quite literally sprinted away. I also did not have the excuse of being in high school because I was in university.

(2)

if you so choose you can publish that last ask, i sent it becuase i thought you and your followers might find it funny

(3)

also sorry for sending you three messages like a lunatic, but also feel free to ignore it

I haven't been ignoring this, it just got buried and then I panicked and it has been crushing me like an ancient marsh, squeezing out all my peaty-bits until all that was left was an ultra-flamable bed of hydrocarbons.

Pterodactyl screaming at your boyfriend is a power move. You should do it more often. I am going to answer more questions that way. I had a customer with a masters in geology ask me why I could not provide their specified sample rate, sample times, and sample counts, and I had to explain to them that you can actually only pick two of those numbers, and the third just happens, and that the numbers they gave me did not work that way. It's like saying "I need to drive 50 miles, and I want to drive at 15 mph for two hours." I'm like, yo, go faster, or drive longer, but you have given me a multiplication problem that does not work. And they kept arguing with me, despite the actuall oscilloscope screen telling them, hey, bozo, that math does not math, and I kept trying to reason with them, when in fact I should have just pterodactyl screamed.

---

Anonymous says

When I saw your blog title my first thought was that it's a reference to psalm 137 (it's on my mind since it was just tisha b'av) and was wondering why a nonjew would do that, but then I realized you're a fan of Babylon so it's probably a reference to that. And then I googled it and apparently its also a song. So which one/which combination are you referencing?

Also your blind date story was a fascinating read, it made me laugh. Very impressed by your chutzpah

Oh nvm, saw that you answered the above in another ask, feel free to ignore

No, I totally get it. Mormonism robbed and scrambled the iconography of a lot of religions, but the two it yoinked the most from are the Masons and the Jews. Like, it is my culture now, but I will acknowledge that my culture is what would happen if you asked a 14 year old conman from NY to skin your culture and wear it. I can't imagine how weird it must be to hear us talk.

Glad to have you approval on the blind date story though. That was a nightmare.

---

@conkreetmonkey says

Personally I think you should do the egg thing again just for the hell of it. I honestly would because you made it sound fun, but eggs be expensive around these parts

My budget is a liiiiittle bit tight for the next month because my wife is doing occupational therapy, but there's a grocery store nearby that sells quail eggs, and to celebrate her finishing that, I am going to be a dozen and shotgun those bad boys. Hell yeah.

---

Anonymous says

bulking must be so easy if you can effortlessly consume 15 raw eggs

No, for two reasons.

The first is that it was not effortless. It was effortful. I had to sweat to get them down. I had to fight them into me. I have a very vivid memory of finishing the eggs, and then leaning over to tie my shoe, and feel the eggs start to actually tip out of me, not even as like, puking, but like emptying water out of a boot. I actually had to sit for a half hour after that for the eggs to actually stay.

The second reason is that eating is easy for me, but gaining muscle mass is not. If I work out like crazy and lift weights, I get very wirey, but I never actually get big. I tried bulking one time, and my muscles stayed the same size while the 20 pounds I gained just went right to my belly and I looked like a grape on a toothpick. Very wild experience. Made my peace with being a skinny nerd.

---

Anonymous says

just letting you know that you can sterilise raw eggs by keeping them at 130°F for a few hours, you can do this with a sous vide and eat them with no salmonella concerns

I love tumblr so much but all the people that read a story about some idiot eating 15 raw eggs on an impulse and then went ah, yes, this man clearly owns a sous vide machine and is willing to use it are crazier than I am. Get some realistic expecations of the world. Know your audience. You are setting your bar too high, and will find yourself endlessly disappointed. Stop it. This is why left leaning people are so fucking sad. They read the egg story and think they can solve my life with a sous vide, instead of reading the egg story and realizing that there is nothing in this world that could possibly save my from myself. I am not a stupid person. I am a highly motivated clever person who enjoys doing stupid things. There's no stopping that.

---

@brambledboneyards says

Hey OP I just wanted to let you know I was informed when I was younger that farm fresh eggs will not give you salmonella. I would recommend fact checking this, but if it does remain true I hope you can date the cravings once more

This is actually good advice. I know several people who own chickens down here. Bless you.

---

@queerdo-mcjewface

Some stores sell pasteurized eggs for recipes that require raw or undercooked eggs

Alas, they only sell egg whites down here, which are flavorless. I want the whole egg experience. The slime, the yolk, the cracking open - I appreciate the advice, but no, it's just not visceral enough.

---

@decentmonster says

you'd probably love quail shooters tbh, you can get them at most sushi restaurants and theyre served raw and are really good (also safe to eat)

Also farm-fresh eggs are less likely to have salmonella!!

Two months time, I will eat a dozen raw quail eggs.

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Anonymous says

I want you to know the egg story is literally one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. I laughed so hard I woke up my husband

I think that was the first little life-short-story thing I posted. Maybe? I'm glad you had fun reading it.