#Hate how it's become so much about posting all the time. And I hate my art rn. Wish it was different. And I hate begging for comms
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paparazzi | mgg x SNL cast member gf
Summary: comments from the paparazzi instill doubt in you, but Matthew is there as a voice of reason
this was a request but it got deleted when I was making edits so I hope this finds its way to that lovely person !
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pre and post show paparazzi outside the studio wasn’t uncommon. but when speculation that you and Matthew were dating blossomed, they got more incessant and difficult to ignore. it seemed as if they were always around, with the intention of spotting the two of you and documenting it. they were constantly nagging for answers and details about your relationship, most specifically mentioning the age gap.
the both of you knew it’d would be hard for some people to understand, but the idea that you were both legal consenting adults seemed more logical and would be accepted easier. originally, you had kept the relationship private - wanting the intimate moments to be kept to yourselves, only for yourselves. eventually the love becomes to great to hide, so you started dropping hints to the public. hints weren’t enough, there were always the small few who liked to dig a little deeper, push sensitive buttons - almost always internet trolls, or worse, in person paparazzi.
no matter what, they’ll always jab at the age gap. it’s always flashing cameras followed by comments, from “your relationship is inappropriate” “she’s young enough to be your daughter” and even, “is you dating an older man rooted in daddy issues?”
a video of the interaction goes viral and all the comments are offering support for the two of you:
they are both consenting adults. those who can’t accept that need to grow up and mind their own business.
these poor angels. the paparazzi is disgusting, ill never understand why it’s still a thing
they’re both grown leave them the fuck alone
daddy issues?? holy shit. the pap is getting so much worse.
two talented people reduced to their relationship. do better
you knew accepting a job on television came with its consequences, but you weren’t going to let people who get paid to be nosy stand in the way of your dream. so, with time you had learned how to handle paparazzi with ease. what was typically praise now being sprinkled with hate, it got harder and harder to ignore.
because the more someone says something about you, the more you start to believe it.
why is he with me? is this weird? am i wrong? is he wrong?
Whenever Matthew happened to be with you during these paparazzi incidents, he’d always guide you through the crowd by the small of your back or your hand. Weaving through people wordlessly, only whispering assurances into your ear, squeezing your hand to calm your heart beating in your ears.
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The whole ride home to your apartment is silent. With Matthew, you two are always talking, always sharing thoughts, making the occasional silence reason for concern.
“Are you okay? You din’t say more than a word or two at a time not the way home,” he says while shutting the apartment door behind him.
“Are we, wrong?” you turn to gaze up at him through your lashes, the look on your face hurt.
“What do you mean, angel?” he croons, concern and confusion blossoming across his face.
“Like,” you pause and scoff, trying to find the words for your question. “Is what we’re doing wrong. Being together.”
“Do you not want to do it anymore? Cause we don’t have to-” his face turns to worry, your heart dropping at the thought of him thinking you’d say anything other than no. because no matter what anyone says, he’s so in love with you he can’t even imagine losing you.
“no! oh my gosh, no.” you’re quick to assure, holding his face in your hands. it’s just exhausting. why are they so concerned with our lives? can they not just-“
“you love me?” he interrupts, looking at you intently.
“what?” you scoff in disbelief, pulling back slightly. “of course I do - why?”
“because I love you. And that’s all that matters, yeah?” he brushes his thumb across your cheek, gazing into your eyes so lovingly. he always looks at you that way.
“It could be worse. They could be comparing me to Leonardo DiCaprio,” he smiles, causing the corners of your mouth to turn up, “and I’m definitely not DiCaprio level.”
“If you were, you would’ve dropped me when I turned 25,” you snicker and he sighs, throwing his head back.
“You’re funny, you know that?”
“I’d hope so. It’s kind of my job.”
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mgg x SNL cast member taglist
@sarcasm-and-stiles @mystargirl-interlude @rubyirene @ashrrams @ghostatrixx @forevermorepassionate @saint-boudica @reidmarieprentiss @awakeforu @spencerlicious @kittycat-april @baudarling @delusional-4-fake-people @avenlymars @angelinajolie0213 @arusio @littleslayofhorrors @jezabelle9299 @jaemnationnn @princess-ofthe-pages @flow33didontsmoke
#matthew gray gubler x reader#mgg x snl cast member#mgg x y/n#mgg fluff#mgg x reader#mgg pics#mgg fanfiction#matthew gray gubler#mgg#mgg smut#i love mgg#spencer reid fandom#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid criminal minds#criminal minds#Matthew gray gubler fluff#matthew gray gubler fanfiction
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aot cast modern au jobs in my head:
eren: cybersecurity specialist. i feel like erens one of those kids that suck in subjects like lang-lit or fucking geography but have an impressive talent in anything techi. i think growing up eren was a competitive gamer and i imagine him being pretty rich in the sense where doctor daddy grisha and also big bro zeke are always spoiling his brat ass with the latest technology. he gets so good, he initially goes into uni wanting to become a game designer but after a brief fallout with his dad when he dropped out and eventually had his allowance cut (a period where i think eren dips into underground hacking and also modelling?) he falls upon the sexy salary in cybersecurity (and saw how thrilling- and damn easy !for him! - the job is) he changed course. i think eren eventually builds his own successful company and becomes one of those rich folks who say that school aint shit.
mikasa: president of a major sports team. mikasa takes over pretty young (like early 30s) after old uncle kenny was involved in some ‘reiss scandal’. initially mikasa was labelled ‘princess’ (derogatory) by dumb angry hooligans who thought a woman would curse their current standing, jokes on them cus that same season the club broke their 20 year curse by reaching the championships. i also think old pictures of gothkasa gets leaked on the internet but it only brought her more praise. but i actually dont think mikasa stays in this job for very long, shes always wanted a quiet simple form of income anyway so when her baby brother comes of right age and maturity she passes the baton to him and lays back as just a shareholder before shes even 40. i also believe mikasa in another universe wouldve loved to be an archivist.
armin: celebrity marine biologist/activist that went viral online during lockdown. he gets his own fanbase and is termed ‘biologist bae’ cus of his cute looks. a tv producer who fell into his corner pretty much fell in love with him after seeing armin deliver a spiel about endangered dugongs. invites him to a bunch of talk shows and the viewership goes so high (a large portion of it being teenage fangirls who want to ‘save the ocean’ too!) he manages to score his own show where he eventually meets his future wife.
annie: senior tv writer who got with armin after working with him on his show. she usually works on sporty reality shows and competitions even though shes a big time introvert. known for her sharp dont fuck with me work ethic, annie gags at how easily she fell into ‘biologist baes’ charm, hates how shes just like the 14 year old fangirls who try to sneak into their shoots. but anyways, annies the ace at her job been going hard for about 15 years but ultimately decides to retire early after having her second child and really liking how ‘biologist bae’ was making enough dough for the whole family.
sasha: influencer cus shes so pretty and fun. was a design major so all her vids have a ‘aesthetic’. now she prettily promotes lifestyle hacks for all the girlies. she also has a set of vids called “what my chef husband cooked for me today” . i think also further on she ends up being one of those moms who shoots vlogs and reviews with their kids.
jean: jeans a classy guy with artistic talents so i imagine him being a successful automotive designer for a luxurious car company. a mommas boy, he used his first fat pay-check to buy his mom a sleek ride thats a little too fast for someone her age. dudes insta page is what you’d expect from a posh car enthusiast with flashy posts of either him, his car, his mom or all 3.
connie: real estate party man. he really climbed his way up and becomes a man of many stories, friends with everyone and plenty of connections. the old hustle got him familiar with the best locations in the city, and now with his excellent salesmanship dude manages to sell at least 3 huge properties a week. i also feel like connies one of those dudes to finally settle down in his 40s -50s (with someone half his age).
historia: i believe queenbee was made for wedding planning. she has her own company before her first job ever but damn is she good at it. being brought up filthy rich, historia is familiar with the highest quality of things, knows whats on the market that only the small percentage of rich people know and will get clients their dream wedding to a t. moreover, she also loves to play cupid (canon!) and is always up to planning her friends weddings (and baby showers, and birthdays parties, and…)
ymir: i imagine ymir being on the board of directors for a bunch of ngos. she had a tough upbringing, was probably moved around from one home to another and could see how hard life is for anyone working at minimum wage. she grew up to be a little spitfire in school, hadnt taken it seriously until she reached senior year and bonded with a school staff named Ms Ymir Fritz. With the wisdom and kindness she learnt from her old teacher, ymir wanted to pay it forward and decided to make a living helping those in need.
reiner: idk why, but i feel like reiners a softie at heart and i imagine him having a nice cozy candy shop. probably fighting old childhood demons and the parental neglect he faced, his cute little shop comes as part of his healing journey to compensate what he missed out on in his youth. its sweet (but a little heartbreaking) that reiners favourite part about his job is getting to witness and be a part of the joy that emerges between families when they enter his shop.
bertholdt: a nurse just cus i think bertholdt would know how to be gentle with the patients. hes got a soft way of speaking that makes vulnerable people feel safe and comfortable. hes also wildly knowledgeable in flexibility and keeping your muscles in good shape that he conducts morning stretches and sometimes yoga in one of their recreational halls.
#eremika#aruani#nicosha#aot#modern au#snk#hsc#eren yeager#mikasa ackerman#armin arlert#annie leonhart#sasha braus#jean kirstein#connie springer#historia reiss#ymir freckles#reiner braun#bertholdt hoover#headcanon#brainrot#emrikae
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Have some more reasons why I think Moxxie and Stolas have the potential to become friends at some point.
Daddy Issues - Having your life already be decided for you.
Moxxie was the child of the leader of the mob family, Crimson.
From when Moxxie was young, Crimson made sure to show Moxxie that if he ever disobeyed him, that he would kill Moxxie, effectively forcing Moxxie into the mob life, forcing Moxxie into the life he has planned out for him.
And well, the episode makes it pretty clear for multiple reasons why Moxxie hated being forced into the mob life, but I think the moment in the prison is the best example I can show you all. The scene where Moxxie is happy and grateful towards Blitz because Blitz is saving him from Crimson, because Blitz is saving him from being thrown right back into the mob life once again.
"Once I got out, I never looked back."
Moxxie never looked back in the direction of the mob life.
As for Stolas, he's the son of the king Paimon, born into the Goetia family as a prince.
"it is finally your day of becoming a true part of the Goetia family."
"Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?"
"Also, son, you are destined to sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. So, you are now engaged."
Paimon's usage of the word destined can tell us that this was planned out in advance, and the usage of 'true part of the Goetia family' makes me feel like Stolas wouldn't be considered a 'true part of the Goetia family' if he refused to marry Stella, if he refused to sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. We don't exactly know what consequences that would entail for Stolas, but I can only imagine that the consequences would be quite bad.
Which in turn, effectively puts Stolas under metaphorical gunpoint to do his duties, marry Stella and sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. Therefore, having his life already decided for him, and his father forcing him into this life he's planned out as well, especially considering Paimon literally says that the future marriage is non-negotiable.
And well, it's very clear that Stolas doesn't want to marry Stella, just look at how Stolas reacts to seeing the picture of Stella.
Which gets me nicely onto my next section,
Daddy Issues part 2 - Arranged/Forced Marriages.
Now sure while the forced marriage to Chaz ended up falling through big time, and that Moxxie is married to the person he loves, Moxxie still had a brush with an arranged/forced marriage in s2 e3.
Crimson is quite literally physically forcing Moxxie to marry Chaz here, because at this point, Crimson still thinks the marriage will benefit him and the mob he runs.
And well, I just explained that Paimon put Stolas under a metaphorical gunpoint to marry Stella, aka, forcing Stolas to marry Stella, to go through with the arranged marriage to be a 'true part of the Goetia family'. With the benefit to the Goetia family and Paimon being the birth of a precautionary heir.
Again, this line from Paimon.
"Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?"
Daddy Issues Part 3 - Physical Abuse
It's pretty clear that Moxxie was most likely physically abused by Crimson, mainly because as both a child and an adult, Crimson just straight up grabs Moxxie's face to force Moxxie to look at him while he's speaking, there's other things that point to Moxxie likely being a victim of physical abuse, but this and the thing I'm about to show you are the bests examples I have.
There's also Crimson threatening to kill Moxxie if he disobeys him, but that's something I've already talked about in this post, so let's head to my next example.
In the flashback, we see Crimson literally committing domestic violence against Moxxie's mother, and Moxxie also witnesses this as well. With this further showing that Crimson is very much willing to commit physical abuse in order to make people stay in line.
While we don't exactly know how present Paimon was in Stolas' life (although everything points to him being almost never present in Stolas' life so far), what we do know is that Paimon is also quick to hit Stolas to keep him in line, with Paimon hitting Stolas on his head because he bowed to an imp, someone much lower than him in the hierarchy.
Plus, it's been made quite clear to us that Stolas was also the victim of domestic violence at the hands of Stella for years upon years, with Stella's reaction to Stolas catching her hand during this scene being all the proof we need of that claim.
Generally Absent Mothers.
Moxxie used to have his mother in his life as a child, but other than a few flashbacks and a painting, the show makes no mention of her, and I believe this is because she was murdered by Crimson.
I want you to look at her shoes during this scene.
And at a later point of the flashback sequence, a shoe floats up that appears to match (although the black lines on the bowtie of the shoe are different between these two scenes, but that's probably just an animation thing) pretty much perfectly, making the theory that Crimson killed Moxxie's mother pretty likely to me.
As for Stolas, we don't exactly know anything about Stolas' mother yet, but she hasn't been seen or been mentioned at all, so at this point in time I'm guessing she was just never in Stolas' life.
Finally, we have,
Gaining the courage to stand up to their abusers.
So in conclusion, while Moxxie and Stolas have had very different lives and upbringings, I do believe that there's quite a few common points between Moxxie and Stolas that I've just mentioned they could relate to each other about, which could be a factor in Moxxie and Stolas becoming friends at some point down the line, if the show chooses to go down that route.
Of course there's also the fact that Moxxie likes musicals and Stolas would be likely to also enjoy musicals as well, giving them an activity they could both enjoy together, but I've mentioned that plenty of times before so I'm not mentioning it here.
#helluva boss#tw: abuse#moxxie#stolas#helluva boss stolas#stella goetia#crimson helluva boss#helluva paimon#chazwick thurman#blitzø
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Crib Construction
Cassian x Reader
Masterlist - Join My Taglist!
Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)
Fandom: ACOTAR
Summary: Cassian and his mate have been tasked with putting together Nyx's crib. Unfortunately, it's a harder task than they thought it would be.
Word Count: 1,282
Category: Fluff, Humor
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
"Cass, come here. Does this look right?"
My boyfriend didn't waste a second before joining me on the floor, kneeling behind me and looking over my shoulder. Neither of us spoke for a minute, then I heard a rustling of paper as Cassian sighed.
"Yeah, it looks right. That hasn't stopped it from being wrong before, though."
"Well, let's just hope for the best."
I could feel through the mating bond just how little Cassian wanted to do that, but he knew as well as I did that we didn't have much other choice. I took a deep breath, then gently pressed the two pieces of wood before me together, trying to get them to link like they were supposed to.
Of course, it didn't work. I added slightly more pressure, but still nothing. I put my entire weight and all of my strength into it, and when the damn thing still didn't budge, I let out a scream and shoved both pieces away from me before I could really lose my temper and accidentally break something.
"This is bullshit!" I shouted, whirling around to face Cassian. He had a look of grim resignation, meeting my eyes with sympathy. Our positions had been exactly reversed about ten minutes ago. "Rhys set this up as a way to get back at you for winning the snowball fight last time, and I'm getting caught in the collateral. This sucks."
"Honestly, maybe he did," Cass said, sighing and leaning back on his hands. "Or maybe Az did something to break this one too before he got kicked off the job."
I groaned, flopping over and into Cassian's side to lay against his chest and stare at the ridiculous contraption that had been defeating us all afternoon. Rhys and Feyre had asked us to assemble Nyx's crib, and at first, we'd been honored and happy to help. But hours later, when nothing was going right and none of the pieces were fitting together the way they were supposed to, I was about ready to throw all of it out the window and into the Sidra below.
We'd been given the task in the first place because Az had shattered the same type of crib to pieces after spending a day being stumped by the puzzle. Cassian and I had inherited the task for our ability to keep each other calm, and because we were generally less destructive when continually frustrated by a puzzle. This crib was about to ruin that reputation.
"Okay, maybe we should just start over from the beginning," I said, sitting up and turning to face Cassian after our brief rest. "Like, take everything apart and lay it all out on the floor again, then start back from step one."
Cassian groaned. "Honestly, I hate that idea. But what we're already doing clearing isn't working, so..."
"So let's try it. Deep breaths, and then a total reset. A fresh start."
"...Alright. Let's do it."
With a lot of heavy sighing, Cassian and I took apart what little progress we'd made, separating the crib back into its individual parts, the way it had come. Once we got it all laid out again, I took the instruction manual from Cass and laid that out in front of us, too. With one last deep breath, we started in again at step one on page one.
I wish I could say this attempt went better. But it didn't. Cassian and I almost destroyed the whole thing Az-style in a fit of frustration three times each, one of us barely managing to pull the other back every time. We were just lucky our destructive streaks never lined up, or the pieces of the crib before us would've already become nothing more than a pile of ash.
"Alright, that's it!" Cass finally shouted, standing up abruptly from where we'd been trying to wrestle together the corners of the crib with no luck, despite using both our strength at once. "I'll be right back."
"What?" I flung my arms out to either side of me as Cassian headed for the door. "You're abandoning me? Seriously?"
"Not abandoning! Changing tactics."
Before I could ask for clarification, Cassian was out the door. I stared after him, waiting for him to reappear or say he was kidding or something, but he didn't. I huffed, then shook my head and turned back to the crib, its pieces still mostly laid out on the floor.
I sat there and stared at the pieces for a few long beats, contemplating my next move. Honestly, I'd just about decided to throw them out the window and tell Rhys the thing'd never been here when the door came swinging open again.
I turned to find Cassian striding towards me, the confidence and determination back in his step. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he just grinned.
"I've solved all our problems."
I snorted, but smiled at Cassian all the same as he came to a stop before me. The fact that he'd managed to make me laugh at all in the middle of this nonsense was exactly why we were mates, and it made me love him even more.
"Cass, you know I love you, and you know I trust you, but... I'm having a hard time seeing how that could possibly be true. Unless you convinced Mor to take over for us...?"
"No, but just as good." I raised an eyebrow, and Cassian's grin widened as he dropped down next to me. Slowly, from behind his back, he pulled out a hammer, tape, and a few other supplies.
I just stared at everything for a moment, then snorted and leanded into Cassian. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"Babe... we can't use that stuff to put this crib together."
"Why not?"
"Because it won't be sturdy enough! We don't want it to give out while the baby's in it. We both know we can't risk that."
Cassian hummed, rocking forward just enough to get a few of the pieces of the crib into his hands. He lined them up like we'd been doing all day, then raised the hammer in his other hand.
"Maybe you're right about the tape," he said. "But all we need to fix this is a little extra power. We can't force it together with our strength alone, so we'll use a hammer."
"Cass-"
Before I could get another word out, Cassian swung the hammer. I could see him putting his full Illyrian strength into it, and sure enough, the pieces whacked together. Unfortunately for us, they also splintered into more pieces than would be fixable, even with tape.
Cassian and I just stared at the wreckage for a moment, neither of us speaking. Cassian was the one to break first.
"Shit."
I laughed, all the stress and ridiculousness of the past few hours disappearing along with our hopes of actually succeeding at our task. I leaned into Cassian, and a moment later, he joined me.
"Well, that didn't go like I was hoping," sighed Cassian. I laughed again.
"Really? That's not what you were going for?"
"Not quite."
We shared a smile, then slumped back together, Cassian's arm around my waist as I leaned into his chest. I sighed, staring at the ruins of the crib before us. Not a single part of me wanted to do something about fixing it.
"So... how about we call Mor and find a way to pass this on to her?"
I laughed, then nodded as I leaned even further into Cassian.
"Baby, I was thinking the same thing. You, me, and Az have had to tear our hair out over this thing already, I think it's her turn."
"And even better, if any of us has to call Amren in, it'll be Mor."
"Exactly."
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Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen @misshale21
Maasverse Taglist: @lilah-asteria
#sophie's year of fic#a court of thorns and roses#cassian#cassian x reader#acotar x reader#a court of thorns and roses fanfiction#a court of thorns and roses x reader#a court of thorns and roses oneshot#a court of thorns and roses imagine#acotar fanfiction#acotar imagine#acotar oneshot#cassian oneshot#cassian fanfiction#cassian imagine#inner circle#night court#velaris#rhysand#feyre
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This is what I thought of Dream and Nightmare how they start to hate each other... After Nightmare eating all the negative apples ( idk what's it called, i don't have the knowledge of the real story of DreamTale ok!... No hates please! For the love of...)
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Nightmare: There, there, Now you Rest... I'll take care of everything for you stead, I'll make them pay for it.
Nightmare embracing Passive Nightmare after all the suffering he's been through before totally becoming (Goopy Squishy Noot Noot >:3) Corrupted Nightmare.
Then out of nowhere a familiar voice. Somewhat he can sense how scared and shocked, denial they are as he vividly called him.
Dream: Br-brother...
Nightmare thought that Dream would understand him no matter what, but after seeing how Dream look at him with fear. He can't help but let out a eerie smile that made Dream step back after giving too much negativity.
Nightmare: It's me, Dream... I've solved the problem, brother. What they all wanted me to do for a very long time.
As if Nightmare is celebrating in joy now that his finally free from being contained, cursed, bullied and tortured by the villagers for just they're own enjoyment/satisfaction. Dream can't help but be worried for his brother. But no words came out from him like something is stopping him to help his brother.
Nightmare put his hand on the trunk of Tree of feelings, a very fresh cut tree. Before going back his glanced into a terrified Dream.
Nightmare: They won't bother me anymore with this so much magic. (Grinning before proceeding) I must say Mother really doesn't want us taking these apples huh... With how much we could do with it. Think about it brother with the world in grasp of our hands.
Nightmare showing his hands grasping in Dream direction like his crushing Dream on his hands. This made Dream stiffened like he can't move, so many questions going through his head that he want to speak out to Nightmare but only one word came out of his mouth.
Dream: Why...
Nightmare can't help but to chuckled for Dream still questioning and confusion for all of this.
Nightmare: Oh.... Dream. You pitiful, pathetic insolent Idiot fool. Can't you see this is ME now! (Putting his hand into his chest. Clenching his shirt as a dark goop drip to his hand and the tentacles aggressively move in his back) I should have done this from the very beginning yet something or someone is holding me back.
Glaring at Dream like any minute his going to kill him but he managed to calm his self as he thought he had so much time to do it later.
Nightmare: Dream join me let's rule the whole world, with you by my side I'm sure we can conquer it all.
Nightmare reaching his hand into Dream. Dream can't help but cry with this much of sadness and agony. How he put the villagers first before his brother and putting him aside, forgot that Nightmare needed him.
Dream: You're not my Brother...
Dream didn't expect those words came out of his mouth. He got a glimpsed of passive Nightmare as Nightmare heard him said those word from him. Anger burst and Nightmare menacingly glared at Dream how disappointed he is.
Nightmare: I thought you'll understand me, but I guess you'll never changed. This is why I grow to hate you, Dream.
As Nightmare prepared to attack Dream with his tentacles. On the last second before Nightmare tentacles managed to hit Dream he was turned into stone an unbreakable one even Nightmare can't break through it.
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(=∆=)// I'm sick cause of my cold, feverish and Procastinating i can't finish a comics that supposed to be post this week POPSICLES!¡!! So here you can have this instead. Bare with me I tried to make it more readable and express how I thought of this... Huehuehue T_T English is not my First language ok.
#undertale#undertale au#utmv#dreamtale#nightmare sans#dream sans#What I thought#In my head this is what happened#Hatred along Brothers
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BANGER POST AGAIN !!!
I both hate and love the ambiguity. Because I'm tryna think back to Bjorn (who lived an incredibly short life omg) but the difference is he was brain dead and couldn't fight back. The retired characters aren't. So he must've found a way to keep them steady??
And omg??? How he'd feel WHEN he dies??? I didn't even think of that. But that is honestly such a good point.
Now everything past this point I'm just assuming things again
Wayne loves life and I believe it's because of the free will he gets. Death would mean the end to all that possibility and fun shit to do. He seems like the kinda person to make his own meaning to life than find one (to me, at least). I don't think he'd think about his mortality too much cause he just lives in the moment. He doesn't think about the future or past, he just goes through time as it is. Wanna add on more to this but my brain's overheating.
First death was blunt. No torture, no build up, no nothing. He was led out and just bled??? He also said help me even though he was in THAT state.
I'm spewing shit here but maybe he was begging cam to save him. (And I think he might've asked Robin to help? I forgot so I won't talk about it until I reset☹️) I believe Wayne knows Cameron is Wayne is a pussy when it comes to confrontation so when Cam dies from an allergic reaction he caused, I doubt Wayne called for help with the possibility of Cam snitching. Then Cameron just comes back lol and they're back to pranks. Clearly he wants to live. He has a little hope that Cam would bring him back. And he does?? In short, the death was just that so Wayne had faith he'd be resurrected.
Second death, he does an oopsie and talks to justin. Then we see him help captive looking half dead and talking about how there's more people. Hear me out, what if Justin saw the retired cast get made into clones? I mean not literally. I don't think the captives would be kept in the same room as the one Justin would be experimenting in. He might've either seen how they struggled or possibly heard something (which also feels unlikely yk Justin might get soundproof walls or like uhh tranquilized them? (Sedated? Chloroform? Put them under anesthesia?What's the word?) idk I have too many thoughts on this).
The way Wayne looks is awful I can't even lie. No one can tell me he wasn't stressed out of his mind. But he's just been kept there? He either died by a bullet or by becoming Justin. But those deaths wouldn't just be quick. They had build up. And he might've lost hope and it didn't matter which way he got out of the situation, he just wanted to get out. So when he dies, he'd feel relief. But I'm still clinging onto the idea he doesn't want to lose his life so I'd think he'd so conflicted.
Then he's just brought back by the guy who saved him the first time. The same guy who killed him. Just brought back to suffer. Bitchy husk as a man I hope you don't come back. ( If he does I'm actually gonna be so pissed even though I love him mwah. Let him rest! )
I hate that I'm so invested in this.
AAAAAAAAA JUSTIN CASE UPDATE??? WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID HE JUST POST RHE SPOILERS TO THE NEXT INSTALLEMENT OF THE STROY RIGHT THERE INSREA DOF BEING LIKE YEAH IM DOING IT IM KILLING CAM RN FUCK ME (ron intended)
anywayssssss
nathaniel is dead, not very skibidi sigma of him at all but i’m not too surprised, cam’s been trying to get rid of ol’ nathan for a WHILE (besides, look at his last name. it was inevitable)
cam added a mary sue self insert oc that’s basically a god into the cgcu who’s summoned by racism and sexual jokes. damn.
i get the ending and it’s alright, but also seems anticlimactic. like cam shows up and tells justin “dude you’re a fictional made up character on the internet you’re already immortal 💀” and justin’s like “oh fr then ig i’ll stop” which isn’t that satisfying at all. i don’t like that ending the discord’s ending (ask me for an invite link if ur interested in the server, we’re all very cool) is much better since yk. it has actual character development.
personally? i don’t like this ending much and i am unsatisfied. it might be better if he actually posts it but i still don’t like it much. if only…….i finished the goddamn animation……..ughhh
also……….max? whipping it out? right there? cam you better film this part or else /hj
#trying to remember when justin explained how he made clones.#did he inject something or???#also just read the fic u recommend and lord it has me tweaking i need more case studies (from gus specifically)#cameron gender#idc what anyone says even if it's canon Wayn didn't go through torture#He did in my mind idcc just LOOK AT HIM???#one foot in the grave.#i wish people could look into my brain and see all these cool ideas#i wish i could look into YOUR brain becuase thia is brilliant#like towards his death? he would feel like a weights been lifted off his shoulders but not really get why#he gives me vibes of idk what’s going on with my feels im just gonna ignore it and hope i feel better#<<<these tags omg you're so smart#like seriously you have so much intelligence#i might've gone a bit off topic somewhere#nothign brings people together like a hostage situation#maybe he talked with the others about their own lives#maybe they tried to find a reason for it all#idk#how long has justin been doing this#I feel like I'm just repeating points omg#give me an 5k word assignment and it's straight bulshit for twice the needed amount#i actually did that with less words and i got good scores for writing a lot#i miss when it was that simple
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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it just hit me that the movie is coming out next month imgonna throw upppppppp
#to be clear this isnt an excited post this is a scared post .#i feel kinda guilty about it with how excited i was about the first 2 movies#but i just cant be anymore paramount and the scu have disappointed me so much within the past year in so many ways ......#shadow is one of my favorite characters his lore makes me go crazy and is one of the things that pulled me into loving sonic so much#but i literally felt nothing while watching that trailer aside from confusion at some of the writing choices being made#like i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but why is sonic working with gun . wtf is gerald doing here . why are there no girls .#the only positives to me were things that were cool visually . which doesnt outweigh all the things that have annoyed/disappointed me#like who cares about another cool sonic and shadow fight scene we already have plenty of those .#Anyway. saw some of those new promotional images.#i swear to god if they actually start calling shadow+eggman+gerald team dark#like they suggested they might in that survey from a while back#im gonna become the joker for real#(insert the NO that is NOT solid snake image but it says team dark instead)#also maybe im taking the hedgehog games way too seriously here#but having gerald still be alive and present in some form feels like such a bad idea from a story perspective ... like .#for one shadow lost Everything in the gun raid having gerald still be here feels like its undermining that in a way#but also gerald's whole thing in sa2 is being long dead but still impacting the story despite that . why is he ALIVEEEE#and why is he here over rouge ???? do they just hate women or something#(before someone goes ''it would take too much time/money to animate another cgi character''#maybe the movies should have just been fully animated if that sort of thing was a concern . just saying)
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they're a bit dumb
#usually you guys would've just gotten a post about the doors vs wheels debate and what stance the mtt would take#but because i really wanted to draw the jk mtt you get a cute little comic instead!!!#this turned out just how i saw it in my head!!!!!#making 4komas is actually SOOO fun i love this shit. maybe i was destined to become a comic creator#i have another absolutely hilarious one in my head between dust horror and horror's drawings#this only took me like 3-4 hours too so that one might come out tomorrow or the day after that toohehehehehee#the most art you'll ever get out of me is this au so you better like it#i loveloveluvluvluv how horror looks in this. i didn't know if i liked the head ribbon originally but now i LOVE IT#dust is busy hitting that append hibana reloaded all perfect (i havent played pjsk in months)#horror is REAAAALLLL. she's so me maybe that's why i like how she looks so much in this#this entire au may just be composed of solely 4komas. and perhaps the full drawing here and there.#they are soooo bickering banter buddies. they argue like a married throuple#tricule art#jk fashion au#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#utmv#sans au#I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA FOR A 4KOMA WITH THESE THREE UGHHHHH. and i havent even come up with nightmare or dream's designs yet. smh#the people who hate my art and only follow me for text poste are shriveling up rn 💀
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youtube
yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovský but that’s my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#that’s my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#‘yeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah we’re gonna make them lose.’ & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post i’m about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovský hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more ‘valuable’ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency they’re doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy 🤷' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovský#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovský posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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I've been working on Finally finishing Naruto Shippuden (after being a Naruto fan for nearly 15 years), & I just finished episode 420. And I have some THOUGHTS about the "Naruto is the reincarnation of Ashura" thing. This started as just me rambling for my normal liveblog posting, but I had a LOT of thoughts about this actually, so I am presenting them to u all Now.
So. Naruto meeting the Sage of Six Paths! Cool!!! I'm finally learning about Naruto being the reincarnation of Ashura, which... honestly is not a choice that I like very much. Narratively speaking, I mean. The Point of Naruto's journey was that he was the underdog, the bottom of his class, the orphan that everyone hated and made fun of. Through hard work and perseverance, he managed to drag himself from being a complete social outcast to someone generally really loved and respected. That's compelling!!! It means a lot!!!
But then the show is like. "Oh...actually, he's the son of the fourth hokage. And Also, he's the reincarnation of the son of the literal creator of ninshuu aka the precursor of modern ninjutsu." I mind him being Minato's son less as a narrative choice (for reasons I will get into shortly), but making him Ashura's reincarnation?? I've got Several things that bug me about that.
So First, for him being Minato's son. It's not like that's ever Actually given him any sort of status (since most people don't know), & Minato was also kind of just a random guy?? Just incredibly skilled, enough so to become the 4th hokage. And then there's also Kushina, descended from a very successful and very Feared clan that ended up almost entirely killed bc of that fear. Naruto being an Uzumaki means great power, huge chakra reserves (not even including the extra chakra he gets from Kurama), & some innate skills (that Naruto mostly didn't inherit, but one can play pretend sometimes). BUT ALSO, they were almost entirely killed off. He's a survivor of his clan's genocide that happened well before he was even born, and he doesn't even REALIZE it yet. So even though being Minato's son means he's the son of a very influential person, it doesn't give him the same leverage as being a Senju or Uchiha would. And the clan he Does belong to bc of Kushina does not give him status either, bc they're almost all fuckin Dead. And we know that Minato is a Namikaze, but as for what that actually *means*.... it's basically nonexistent. There is no mention of a Namikaze clan. Minato was just a prodigy in his own right.
SO.... All that is to say that while appending Naruto's orphan story with a "well, Actually, his parents were very powerful and well respected" does discount it a little bit, it's still not Especially unique in terms of what other people in their world may experience (there are other descendants of current and/or former kage + Many other powerful clans running around) OR in the benefits that it gives him (essentially nothing, outside of his physical strength and the inheritance of Kurama himself)(which inheriting Kurama did grant him access to IMMENSE power, but it also was the source of So Much of his suffering growing up, so I think it balances out).
The "reincarnation of Ashura, son of the Sage of Six Paths" thing tho... that one really kinda does. At that point, Naruto is no longer just the orphaned son of two respected shinobi & the current jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi (something special, but not entirely original, given that there are Other jinchuuriki who are descendants of powerful shinobi). He is now something that NO ONE ELSE ALIVE can be. It is saying that He, above Everyone Else, is special in this way. Outside of Sasuke lol, but I'll touch on that in a moment.
It just feels kinda cheap. It's cool I guess, but at this point it feels like we've completely lost the Plucky Orphan who works hard to overcome his circumstances plot. It's saying that he was Always one of a kind, he was Always destined to become Someone Special (or that he was, in fact, special the whole time). It removes the importance of his hard work in the equation. It makes it so that this is no longer something he earned for himself, but rather something that was a Given, since he is, of course, Ashura's reincarnation.
Cheap. It's cheap. And I don't like it.
Then we get into Sasuke being the reincarnation of Indra. Which I haven't gotten to that yet in the show, but I know from seeing it around. I do enjoy the sun and moon aesthetic between Naruto and Sasuke (so SO much, in fact), but. Making Sasuke the reincarnation of the Other son of the Sage of Six Paths is... frustrating? In several ways. There is of course the fact that Naruto and Sasuke have such extremely gay vibes (and Always Have), so making them the reincarnations of brothers so late in the story feels like an insult to anyone who reads their relationship in that way. Which to be fair, we do see Naruto mention at a few points that he thinks of Sasuke like a brother, but it's only a few points + feels like a kind of narrative cop-out. Sasuke himself said he doesn't think of Naruto in that way (though that could also be his self-denial speaking & it could change. Haven't gotten that far yet.), & I think there are much better choices for Naruto's "brother" figure (primarily Iruka, but people like Killer Bee and any of the other konoha 12 would be fitting too). Personally, it feels like Naruto was trying to put a name to his very strong feelings for Sasuke, & since he doesn't realize being gay is an option (since Kishimoto is clearly homophobic & made this ninja society to reflect that), he settled on Brother. But Sasuke is like "what the fuck? No, my only brother is Itachi." Instead, Sasuke has called Naruto his best friend. Which also doesn't fully encompass their relationship, but it's still closer than Brother.
So here we are, Kishimoto saying around 555 episodes into the plot (only 80 more to go) that they're actually the reincarnations of brothers. And not just any brothers. THE sons of the Sage of Six Paths. Incredibly influential, incredibly powerful, two sides of the same coin and very historically significant figures. Sasuke always had the "descended from an elite, yet disgraced clan" thing going for him, so in my opinion it doesn't hold the same kind of insult to his story that it does for Naruto. But it still feels like an insult to THEIR story.
Naruto and Sasuke were just two orphan boys. Their moms were best friends, but they didn't know that. They died when they were too young. But Naruto and Sasuke still gravitated towards one another. Understood each other like no one else. And got on each other's nerves like no one else. But that irritation stemmed from their genuine admiration of each other. They wanted to be able to beat each other. They became Rivals. And it was on their own terms. No one else pushed them together. Outside of them ending up on the same team, their entire relationship was fueled by their recognition of one another, Jealousy of one another, and the simple enjoyment of being around one another. They were the ones to decide the importance of their relationship. Sasuke recognizing Naruto as his closest friend & thus thinking he was the one he had to cut off to achieve power, and Naruto recognizing Sasuke as his first peer that acknowledged him, a precious bond he finally made, and thus someone he had to cling to FIERCELY. That was all them.
But here we are. They're a reincarnated set. The sun and the moon, but Officially. One could say soulmates in a way, in a non-romantic kind of context (considering the first iteration was a pair of brothers). While this is cool from a story standpoint, it really takes some significance away from their relationship to me. It makes it less of something they chose for themselves and more of a given. Pretty much just like Naruto being Ashura's reincarnation cheapens his own story, it cheapens their relationship too.
I dont want a story about two boys who were destined to be important to each other!!!! I want a story about two orphans who just happened to become important to one another thru a series of coincidences and personal choices. In that way, their relationship gains greater gravity bc it's born from their own hearts Alone. It's Naruto moving mountains for the sake of this boy he loves, and it's Sasuke finally coming back around bc of the force of Naruto's dedication. It means so much more than the implication that they were always meant to be a pair. So I really don't like this narrative choice.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#naruto#narusasu#sasunaru#(i talk about how the reincarnation thing affects the context of their relationship lower down in the post)#naruto spoilers#if anyone still cares about those lol#anyways it's been really cool to finally see all this late-show stuff for myself after being in the fandom for so long#(i was caught up once upon a time. but that was around episode 200 or so lol)#but as much as im enjoying some things in the show. there are other things that i just... dont like.#part of that is nearly Half the entirety of shippuden being the fucking war arc. it's precisely what's kept me from catching up until now#but then theres the loss of the story's original Feeling. the anti-war and anti-child soldiers sentiment.#Naruto being an absolute nobody and watching Haku and Zabuza's ending & being so moved by it that it informs his entire ninja way#but Kishimoto is turning around and saying 'he was actually destined for this the whole time'. which just... i just really don't like it.#this + Neji's death feels like it's discounting their fight's entire point. Neji's entire character arc.#the fact that fate doesnt matter as much as dedication. being a 'genius' doesnt matter as much as effort.#but Neji. the caged bird. dies to protect the main line. driving home that it was pointless for him to resist it the whole time.#and Naruto. the one who worked tirelessly to become hokage against all odds and adversity. turns out it was Meant To Be after all.#sigh... i really do love this anime so much. ive loved it for most of my memory and its characters are so so dear to me.#but i also. really. REAAAAAAAAALLY hate this anime sometimes. damned anime discounting its own points...#alas. i shall continue to watch. because i do want to finally finish it.#i shall simply. probably not watch Boruto afterwards lol
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Small updates!
Ravenous prints arrived today so I should be uploading them to my shop soon! Also I'm thinking about making print bundles, like grouping together prints with the same themes and doing a deal. So I'll update when I do that too.
Also tbh I'm still looking for a diff place to sell. Etsy works for me cuz I've been using it for so long but at this point they take so much off me and yknow... They aren't great in general. But that's still in the works.
And also I've started easing back into uni work again after having been on a mental health break, which means comms and art in general will be slower. Still v much in desperate need of comms as uni doesn't pay me.
#I'll be working on art and uni intermittently. But when uni starts again I may only do art on the weekends#Gonna try to not have such a stressful routine this time as that's what made me sick last time#So it's gonna be more relaxed#But yeah. Stuff#Part of me considers disappearing off the face of the earth in terms of art rn I'm very underwhelmed and stressed about it#Hate how it's become so much about posting all the time. And I hate my art rn. Wish it was different. And I hate begging for comms#Anywayyyy#That's me rn#Stressed. Frazzled. Trying my best#Oh but I am exciting about new comm projects with existing clients. That should be a good balance for uni work
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Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman
#rat rambles#stars posting#I feel like the biggest change in my taste in characters as the years have gone by is Im now far more biased towards old ppl lol#although tbf I was also the one person in 2016 who actually liked asgore so maybe Ive always liked parhetic old ppl#but yeah the reason isa is past me bait is because hes an exploration and subversion of the sort of tropes I Hated as a kid#and I still dont like them so isa still appeals to me its just not as much as he would have to a younger me#I do genuinely love all the party very dearly tho theyre all soooo good#I think my favorite part of isabeau is how like. of everyone we get to see the least facets of him but like in a very good way#this is a man who hides and bottles shit hes so fun to rotate#his self image is so carefully controlled compared to everyone else which makes him an incredibly interesting character to analyze#and I love that despite him seeming like the most emotionally stable person here on the surface he still clearly has like. hashtag issues.#like he's in that beautiful zone where its so so fun imagining what it would look like to truly break him#<- normal things that normal ppl say. like me.#I may have my very light beef with alt looping aus as a concept but hes probably the most interesting alternate looper to me#also my light beef exclusively relates to king quest stuff which is why Im a big fan of duo looper aus with sif#but honestly. isa might be the only one that I genuinely think works better as a solo looper even with taking king quest into account#although bonnie comes close. I <3 looper bonnie I <3 seeing fictional children go through the horrors#I think theres a lot of fun to be had with any alt looper au tho I just am a huge king quest fan so I like it when my favorite elements of#it dont have to be handwaved#but yeah the real question is how would younger me feel about mirabelle#because on the one hand: acearo character#but on the other hand: I have always been a little hater abt romance so idk if younger me would rly be able to follow her character well#I wasnt exactly good at character analysis back then lol#except for the instances in which I was but I dont have that sort of faith in my younger self#yknow Im thinking abt my history of favorite characters now and I think me being one of few 2016 alphys enjoyers might have been a prophecy#she was my quote unquote third favorite but in reality she was second#I think she chara and peridot su teamed up to define my taste in fictional characters for the next several years#and somehow that lead to olivia becoming one of my favorite fictional characters of all time#I say somehow as if that isnt a very natural conclusion
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im so disappointed in my art lately . im not a beginner artist, but i feel like everything i do looks like i am . i feel like it would only be acceptable for a beginner . i havent made any progress since i was 11 . today is not a good day
#artist problems? except i barely even count as an artist atp#non serious vent sorry#i dont usually textpost because i much prefer just sticking it in the tags and hoping i forget about it#but i dont have anything to post. i literally have not been able to make anything at all.#does any other artist feel like this?#i know everyone says they feel like this but i cant decide if its comforting or condescending#all the other artists say “oh i hate my art!” when their art is good because its just the artists eye or whatever its called#and on one hand its comforting because everyone hates their art#but on the other hand its so discouraging because if you hate your art so much#how does mine look? how bad is mine?#i dont like talking abt weed bc its kinda weird for a 14 year old but i feel like the only times i can draw without crying -#- is when im high#i dont know i need to take a break or something#might focus on writing but everything is just so frustrating to me lately#i cant promise literally anything anymore because everytime i get excited to create its just GONE so fast#becaus i cant like anything i make#i keep searching for some kind of art advice that will actually help but i never can figure out how to apply it#and most of it is just “keep practicing!” as if i havent been practicing since i was 8 years old#i feel like at this point i have to just start all the way over but i dont even know how#at this point i would rather art regress than keep churning out the same mediocre garbage ive been drawing since 2022#and its not even that im pressuring myself to draw. its that all my art has just looked the same for so long and im so frustrated#i literally cannot draw anything without crying anymore its really upsetting#anyway sorry for the negativity on main :( this blog has kinda become my diary and im just an overdramatic teenager or whatever i dont know
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im thinking again
#ive been dealt the bad hand; the worse hand; the hand from the arm from the body#im just.....okay#Well aaaa its weird#nothing anyone says to me is to *me*#which is fair-- no one knows me. but i do wish i got it. i dont know#the passing of time is still my worst enemy#i love everyone so much. itssssssweird.#if youre following these posts and saw the last one: i think i am still gonna die soon. awwh man. i dunno#but i have no reason to go on truthfully and i dont feel like finding one#im tired and sad OK?#i do want an acknowledgement again#and if you're following these posts im going to do the same thing i did last time and talk to the three tumblr blogs:#1. hi. i really like you. i admit it. j think youre really cool and all. uh okay im supposed to ask a question so here; how are you? well i#hope. k dont know. i havent been reading up like i should be and as for the second blog im talking to here i also havent been reading up lik#e i should im very sorry. i will make that journal again though.#and third blog: hi!! i still have no clue how to do that one thing but youve really gotten me into the hypothetical idea of differences base#f off of like ...area. the thing you said about that one thing.! i javwnt been doing much about it but thinkin but you know thinkin is fun.#i do want to do reading on it but ive been very sad lately and i cannot be bothered#this is really fun talking to people like this. um#youre very cool blog one ive been becoming a big fan of you again#blog two.if you see this: i want you-- I'm sayin that to specify that I'm talking to you. but i dont. anyway: uh. oh no i forgot what i was#gonna say#okay here's to not talking to anyone particular:#i want to do drugs. its the only way ill be able to handle all this.but i... oh hey i have melatonin!!#hmmmmmm#idk#it just puts me to sleep and i hate sleeping cause im always having bad dreams-- both nightmares and just dreams that Suck-- but...... im#desperate.#okay im gonna take a normal dose and just keep it together i hope#I hate sleeping
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the dream would be a 15hour week workday at a low stress job not that far from home but not too close it feels intimate to your home, a small mangable appartment that wont fall apartwith furnishings i like,bills that arnt stress inducing in a way that make me think about money all the time, and just chill and do my hobbies when im not doing all the other things people have to do in their adult to not be that sad life like cook and clean and talk to people
#would be cool to publish and stuff#but again dont want to turn my hobbies into somthing more stress inducing then perfecting my craft already does#cant belive the dream is the bere minimum#25 hours a week max#but still its really just the bere minimum#oh to live the bere minimum#life always finds a way to make things difficult#and it would be cool to be able to get rid of some of the more consistent stuff like money stress and work stress#so when there are more difficult things to worry about its not pilled up on the stuff thats day to day#i know some people like having alot to do but that is not me#but yeah feel free to make this your dream too i think its ok to just want to exist stress free enough to properly enjoy the mundane#cuz the mundane is pretty neat#and everyone acts like its this terrible thing but it happens everyday#the sun sets the sun rises but i still get excited when i get a good view#want to enjoy that without worrying about everything i have to work for to become successful#i think we are alowed to not want to work for things we dont care about that much just for the bere minimum of existence#would be totally diffrent if it got u up there but#it doesnt?#but im totally chill if giving like 25%-50% gave me just enough#not saying that would be how much i care just now much energy i give#and honestly alot of work can come out of that much energy#giving your 100% is stupid and uderrated and your 100% will become worse and worse#ofc still fine to do it but all the time is crazy people still gotta use some of that energy to live life outside of the hustle#offical hustle hate post
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