#Ham on the Bone

[askwhatsforlunch]

Manuka Honey Glazed Ham

Our Sunday Lunch today takes inspiration from my recent journey across Aotearoa New Zealand. The pièce de résistance, this beautiful Manuka Honey Glazed Ham, was one of the meats I ate when we lunched at Te Puia in Rotorua. It was most excellent, and I vowed to recreate the recipe at home. I also loved the Hāngī lamb and chicken, but digging an umu (earth oven) in the garden is little more complicated, especially on a rainy day! Happy Sunday, mates!

Ingredients (serves 4 to 6):

1 onion

2 small carrots

1.4-kilo/-pound ham on the bone (uncooked, and preferably not smoked)

1/2 tablespoon juniper berries

1/2 tablespoon whole black peppercorns

1/2 tablespoon coarse sea salt

1 litre/4 cups water

1 large garlic clove, minced

1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary

2 heaped tablespoons good Manuka Honey

Peel onion, and cut it into quarters. Peel carrots, and cut them into thick chunks.

Add onion and carrots into a large Dutch oven and place the ham onto them. Sprinkle liberally with juniper berries, whole peppercorns and coarse sea salt. Cover with water (the ham doesn’t need to be completely submerged as it will cook in the steam). 

Place Dutch oven on the stove, over a high flame, and bring to the boil. Then, cover with the lid, reduce heat to low, and simmer, one hour.

In a small bowl, combine minced garlic, dried rosemary and Manuka Honey. Give a good stir until well-blended.

Preheat oven to 200°C/395°F.

Once the ham is cooked, lift it out of the Dutch oven, and onto a roasting or baking dish. 

Carefully remove the skin from the ham, so you are left with a thin layer of fat. Using a sharp knife, score the fat in a criss-cross manner.

Generously spread Manuka Honey mixture onto the ham. Place baking dish into the hot oven, and roast, at 200°C/395°F, for 20 to 25 minutes, until golden brown on top, occasionally basting it with its fat and the Manuka Honey glaze.

Serve hot, with its roasting juices and Manuka Honey and Thyme Roasted Kūmara. A Waiheke Island Pinot Noir, or a French Beaujolais Nouveau would pair nicely with it!

Pōhutu Geyser in Rotorua, Bay of Plenty, New Zealand (14th October, 2022)

[stealingyourbones]

If anyone has gravity falls fic recs please respond to this post with them. I shall read then when I’m done with the series

[szynkaaa]

I love that in the JTTW source material, Sun Wukong is never shown any romantic interest towards anyone and does occassionally make fun of Zhu Bajie and his escapades, but it's still very clear he loves the people aroud him. We love an aroace monkey king.

But I also really really really love that Black Myth Wukong adds their own twist and gave both Sun Wukong AND the Destined One (or rather his past reincarnation) love stories?? Sun Wukong has the tragedy going on with the White Bone Demon, he struck her three times to kill her (granted she did try to eat his master LOL), but he was never able to let her go and it is one of the many reasons why he wanted to leave buddahood behind and reject the celestial court.

With the Destined One, it is heavily implied in the game that the 4th spider sister was married to the previous Destined One (can I also add, excellent taste monkey, 10/10 I would marry her too), but obviously the prev Destined One carried on with his quest and well, probably never returned lol.

Anyway, I think it's a nice touch that each Destined One isn't just another reincarnation on a quest trying to become the new Sun Wukong, and that they can fall in love and get married too. The game doesn't tell us much about the Destined One's personality, with him being a silent protagonist so it's nice to see details like this.

[puppyplayhouse]

More wolf!chan and puppy ideas 😈 because i need to let the DEMONS out fr

so, puppy who's been sneaking out of the house to follow wolf!chan into the forest. Their owners have started worrying, noticing them disappearing for long stretches and returning late into the day, covered in leaves like some kind of common stray. They assume they're lonely and seeking companionship outside the home, so they buy puppy!seungmin to keep them company!! But a very jealous, and disappointed chan, who watches you from outside your living room window, playing with seungmin. He’s not too happy about you choosing that mutt over him, and he's all the more ready to teach you a lesson or two about ignoring him for some mutt the next time you come outside to play. [crying]

— 🍖

Oh my GOOOOOOD he'd be so ANGRY.

Warning: degrading, rough

How could you possible choose such a week, submissive mutt?

Chan had made it perfectly clear that he had claimed you for himself and he would see this as soooo disrespectful.

Maybe sweet puppy Seungmin has had to go for a haircut, so you've skipped outside all bright and excited to see the bitey wolf hybrid who loved to play rough, but he doesn't appear this time.

He doesn't appear even as you wander deeper and deeper into the woods behind your home, well past the usual safe point.

Your tiny calls would be hard to hear to anyone else, but he takes so much joy in the way they're cut off when he shoves you forward onto your knees out of nowhere, sticks and pebbles scraping your knees. He's never been so mean :(.

His growl is so deep and you don't mean to get turned on! It's all instinct to you now! And you definitely don't mean to let a few stray tears drip down your cheek when he fists the hair between your floppy ears, tugging your head back and forcing you to meet his threatening gaze.

"You know you're not supposed to be out here." He'd mock you with a pout, his other hand gripping your cheeks. "Should you be presenting yourself to that dumb mutt you have at home?"

Poor puppy doesn't know why he's mad. Minnie is your buddy!

Chan doesn't let you speak, shoving you down into the rough, sparse grass and tugging your hips up so that you're perfectly on display when he tugs your pretty floral skirt down.

"Awww, look at that. Little puppy is dripping already. You really are just a little thing for me to breed, aren't you?"

He'd be so rough, and he'd grip you so tight when he starts pounding into you, ignoring your cries and pleas for him to slow down because they really just spur him on.

"Gonna send you home with my cum all over this pretty pussy so that your little dog knows exactly who owns it."

Ugh I need him I FUCKING NEED HIM. PLEASE.

[ratatatastic]

IM SORRY SERGEI BOBRUFFSKY FOR THE STANLEY PUP (x)

[kit-williams]

So I read your piece about Honsu. That would be great. And you know, we joke and analyze about fetishes, kinks and sexual attraction in Astartes.

But! I think it's pretty weird that traitors didn't return sexual attraction to Space Marines…

Since the lack of sexual desire is due to the fact that the Emperor did not want a new species to appear. But traitors consider themselves above mortals, so why not return sexual desire to them? GW has lost so much potential.

Well, yes, it will be very funny to watch how traitors would cope with new emotions. Those who have had sex or know about it, will immediately figure it out.

But the rest… I imagine how they look at women like crazy maniacs, not knowing what to do or what to say. Given their psyche and testosterone, their heads will simply explode from emotions.

If before they simply killed and tortured mortals, they were irritated by weakness. Now they suddenly started to like it. Are you crying? Your tears will be wiped away and you will be told that you are beautiful. In the most horrible way.

Are you pregnant? Will you name the child after him? Have you given birth yet? Now breastfeed quickly, and the Astartes will watch.

And courtship?

The Night Lord will give you human hearts and cloaks of leather.

The Emperor's Children will read you their poetry and sing. But since this is Slaanesh, prepare for vulgarity.

Iron Warriors: romance is kidnapping you and locking you in a cage.

And yes. All. All Space Marines will make you watch them fight and kill. Because it is sexy.

And so begins the Space Marines' Human Husbandary. An extremely creepy and scary thing…. I'll write about it one day.

Listen Honsou was just speeding things up when he was making the Demonculaba; you can't look at that thing and be like "there's some psychosexual things to be unpacked here."

Did you know that there's roughly 350ish generations within the span of 10,000 years (I have a feeling if chaos wasn't fucking around there would be a new species... then again Bile made his New Humans and basically unleashed them into populations

But you are right the traitors will have to deal with it first and I can imagine that it hits them suddenly since its so new and Space Marines are experts in handling new sensations.

But it might also be a difference between falling to chaos and simply turning traitor which one might activate that feeling earlier while the other is more of an ability to indulge that curiosity. Either way I hope these satisfy I know for some of them I could write something longer... it's probably obvious what ones I could

(1) sorry it took so long to do these and 2) sorry I went fuckin ham as there are 6 blurbs here )

tw: dubious consent, noncon, bone breaking, abduction, every single one of these is a traitor/chaos marine so that general unpleasantness so please let me know if I need to tag something

The Plague Marine could not figure out why his eyes remained on the female thralls and cultists... he didn't trust himself not to hurt them anymore. He was thankful for his helmet being on most of the time as the intense look in his eyes surely made them all cower and fear till...she got too close and he couldn't stop. He at least stopped before he fully broke all her bones... Grandfather would help him... Grandfather knew what was afflicting him. As while she was this pathetic mewling and weeping thing in his grasp he wanted to crush her again.

She was desperately crawling away as of course she would get hurt and have to be left to die. Oh she didn't want to die in the torturous way they would think up for her. He knew she didn't want to die... all prey didn't want to die and yet they knew all up until that last moment of life. He could practically hear the wild heartbeat and the way her wide prey like eyes locked onto his form as she let out the most beautifully frightened scream as the fallen Raven Guard barrels toward her. But before his claws sink in he skids to a stop and he watches her bite her bottom lip till it bleeds to stop the shrieking. His black eyes are fixated on the tears rolling down her cheeks like raindrops... his mutated palm wiping away those tears with the wet skin feeling so soft to him. His warped voice croons softly, his voice a breathy whisper, "You're so beautiful." He grins as she just starts to scream again.

He didn't need a bed slave... he was beyond that as blood shed was all he needed but he took you for a moment of relief... frail and weak thing that was destined to die in a myriad of horrible ways. But he liked the feeling of you around him... he liked you being a pathetic sad thing. He liked the way you bled and cried... till you stopped bleeding one day and grew fat with his young... he didn't need you... and yet you feel so good around him... and whatever you leaked from your breast felt good upon his tongue.

Courtship? I think you mean them just doting upon you and giving you attention.

You were so alone at this point that it was hardly safe to simply exist... ever since you got that first heart and the entire perfectly skinned human cloak everyone started to avoid you and the hearts and leather didn't stop... you're going to die... you know it you're going to die and you think it as you're hiding and weeping when behind you comes a Night Lord. He coos to you petting your head as you feel so numb you take the comfort just praying to anyone bothering to listen to have him make it quick. "Mmm you're clinging to me so tightly... are you scared? Do you need someone to protect you?" You don't know why you nod as you just hope you die soon. "At least I know you've enjoyed my gifts," He croons watching you finally react with dread horror as he just grins down at you and yet you do not struggle to pull away. Its over for you and you just accept your fate....

He sings to you as you lay there a quivering mess... just a tryst he tells himself as his fingers move up your spine having claimed you as his prize from another brother. He had grown tired of the cacophonous noise that spewed from his now dead comrade and he was only now just indulging in the soft noises you made. The panting and whimpering as his song was soft and low with tantalizing lyrics interspersed. You looked prettier covered in blood... with that fight left in your eyes as you rage against the inevitable end and he at the end of his perfected blade would have given it to you had that battle brother not interrupted. You should have died in such perfected death but he supposed it had been far too long since he indulged himself. And instead of quivering from blood loss and pain you quivered from overstimulation and pleasure. He deserved a nice little treat for his centuries of perfection...

You looked so sad simply attached to the repugnant mortal how your pretty eyes were dimmed and glazed the smile on your face fake. But not to him. You only tried the half hearted attempts to seduce him as you were ordered. You looked so relieved when all he wanted to do was hold you... that breathy thank you. Oh he was certain you would thank him soon enough. You didn't bother to run as you hid in the room that you could never seem to escape... no one would bother to save a body slave much less one of your rank you were at most a warm body to be enjoyed. You had hidden yourself in the back of the closet amongst the gaudy and billowing fabric outfits... you had seen the Astartes check the room before leaving and you had hopped that he was gone. But what luck did someone like you have as he came back and you recognized that crooning voice, "What a good girl... staying right there." It was the Iron Warrior that simply held you instead of fucking you... you hugged your knees tighter as the chains in his hand looked heavy and all you could do was watch in horror as he got closer... and closer... and the little voice inside of you hoped he wouldn't hurt you.

Oh if you do write the human husbandry please tag me I dont think I've got it in me to do it justice.

@bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog

@thevoidscreams @barn-anon @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @squishyowl

@nekotaetae @sleepyfan-blog @remembrancer-of-heresy

[telomirage]

I saw a whole ham on the side of the road when I drove home from work today

[satans-knitwear]

Behold! An enormous snugglebeast.

It has cookie flavoured lipbalm on its head now.

[muffinlance]

Lochlann: “I am begging you, people care about you, please ask for help.”

Aaron: “No? Why would I do that??”

Lochlann: “…”

Lochlann: “Would it help if I commited treason. Would that make you listen to me.”

Aaron: But is it really treason if you're just being a "good person"?

Lochlann: YES. IT LEGALLY IS.

Aaron: Hmmmmm

[bonefall]

the "strange place" could be a private wildlife collector? i know the buying and selling of wild animals as pets can be pretty bad in the uk (or at least it is w/ birds of prey? that's abt what i know)

OH that's a good idea, that's going to be one of my top choices for if I DO end up needing to change the "twoleg den" in the upcoming super edition. Private wildlife collectors are a HUGE problem because the laws on simply owning exotic animals (as long as they're not covered by the Dangerous Wild Animals Act) are suuuuper lax in the UK, and the Zoo Licensing Act only applies if you accept general admission.

(and even then, specifically, you can take admission a limited amount of times a year. James Wellington's Animal Welfare Nightmare Extravaganza, beloved winter tradition, £25 each, kiddies of edible height get in free)

Birds in particular are a huuuge issue because there's big oversights in the laws surrounding the keeping of birds of prey. You don't actually need a license to own any birds except ostriches and cassowaries, or one of the five destructive invasive birds. Your pet eagle just needs to be registered so they know you didn't snatch it from the wild. Licenses will only apply if you're breeding, selling, or using it for falconry.

Maybe I could even tie this hypothetical antagonist guy to Sharptooth/One Eye/The God of Summer's previous human incarnation, on some off-chance the series ends up using this villain again. That could be kinda neat.

[frankenbridez]

average 🐻🖤 experience

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

These were my two favourite suggestions, I'm leaving the final decision up to the people

[stealingyourbones]

Short DPXDC Prompts #443

Danny moves to Gotham and chooses to do his best to help all wayward children that come across his path.

He keeps seeing another ghost on his visits near the Narrows, a very small boy in a ratty and torn up Robin costume...

[lesbiancolumbo]

honestly watching fright night 1985 and then going to the ao3 page afterward was the most ashamed and disappointed i’ve ever been in a community. and you call yourselves old man fuckers

[puppyplayhouse]

OH MI GOSHHH!! PISS YES

😭😭 seungmin who trains u to pee on command for him. And he tells u to hold it nd doesnt let u pee without his permission. makes sure u stay xtraaa hydrated and ignores your persistent begging about your bladder being full for hours.. Seungmin who presses on your belly to put pressure on ur straining bladder to see if youll go against his rules and wet urself. Im weeping

— 🍖

SOBBING. Sweet bf Seungmin filling your water bottle? NAH, IT'S EVIL. 2 litre water bottles stay full at all times, and he MONITORS that shit.

Hear me out though hear me out. He INTENTIONALLY pushes you to have an accident, but does he punish you? Not exactly... instead, he makes you sit on his lap and holds a hand over your mouth to muffle your ashamed whining as he mocks you for not being housebroken uwu. Tells you you're a messy lil mutt. Taunts you by asking if you were trying to mark your territory like a big tough puppy. MAKES YOU SIT AND DRINK M O R E WATER and ignores the tears in your eyes and way his pants are sticking to him.

🗣🗣🗣 SEUNGMIN IS A MESSY MAN

[pizzaback]

I’ve been cooking a ham for. Three hours