#Hakeem Anderson-Lesolang

[bathobatsho]

Misalignment traumatises.

— h.a-l

[200truthsaboutlove-blog]

Why Men Keep Lying About Being Monogamous Is Dumb & Regressive.

I’ve gathered that a lot of men are scared to talk about what they really want, sexually and romantically with the women they like, want or already have.

I keep telling men to open up and be vocal about who they are. Monogamous or not and the prevalent knee-jerk reaction is the coy, “nah dog, are you crazy...?” Fear fucks with their decision making & it’s out of control.

So, men lie about who they are or tell half-truths about what they want because when a guy meets a girl it’s one or two things.

1. Damn, I really just wanna fuck this girl because she turns me on and we got a vibe going on. That’s that.

Or;

2. Damn, I really like this girl and I see myself growing with her and building something worthwhile so I’ll do and say anything to gain her trust and work it out with her as we grow.

Two of these guys are right to want this and to pursue it because that’s how they’re wired.

These two guys also fuck up a lot because they lie at the beginning of everything and sell you the sob stories, promise you the world and even go as far as introducing you to their Mama to gain your trust just so you to drop your guard so they can fuck.

Then the paint of their lies wears off because both these guys, honest as they’ve been about their intent to be with you and how they intend to, grow dissatisfied with the fact that they’re “stuck” in a monogamous relationship they didn’t plan for but, for a nut, they stuck around and lied about their lust drives.

A lot of young guys trap themselves in this and it’s not in them to stay monogamous. IT’S NOT IN A LOT OF GUYS TO WANT MONOGAMY BUT THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT IT.

Blame it on indecisiveness or nature vs nurture but I can genuinely tell you that it’s that initial failure to have a convo with you that says “I am not monogamous, nor do I want to be and a relationship won’t change that”.

The failure to say, “I just wanna fuck with you and enjoy ourselves”. Or “let’s build but I want to enjoy the freedom of other relationships...”. Or “we’ve grown in different ways and I’d like to be with other people but not sacrifice what we have or make you feel like I’m jeopardizing us. How can we make it work...?”

This fear, rears men to cheat. To stop talking to you. To detach. To act out because it makes them feel as though they are something other than what they really want to become.

And that’s what’s fucky. That’s what’s cruel. That’s our cowardice.

That’s what should change with us. To trust that a woman can handle such a conversation and have the ability and power to choose whether she wants to be with a man like that or not.

But it’s a power play to guys too. They rarely want to give a woman that power because they wanna fuck and duck when they feel stuck.

Well sirs. Prevention is better than having to be pusillanimous and cagey.

Make it known from the get-go who you are bruh.

TALK YOUR TRUTH. Cause bro, more often than not, in 2017/2018, there are more women who want EXACTLY what you want fam.

Lay it out. Don’t lie. She will give you that with added respect and still suck you dry after doing cartwheels on your dick. All you gotta do is be honourable.

Get yours. Just get it right.

— h.a-l

[baabmedia]

A three-part series highlighted around 6 women who speak on their truths based on love and fear curated by author and musician Hakeem Anderson-Lesolang. Episode 1 is themed around Heavy Hearts Going Home to Love Better. Read more on BAAB Journal

[1602thatgirlnextdoor]

Dear Leano...

Dear Leano... ( Although I've been told there'll be two of you... Letters and poems written to our Son and Daughter di tlogolo tsa Leesolang... Born of Samukelisiwe and Tshepo Hakeem Anderson Lesolang) My Son, I love you so much... I've waited for a long time to have you, the night I met your loving father, my soulmate, my King and head of this family? I saw my whole life ahead of me. With him and you in it. It's so scary!!! The stars were aligned and the whole Galaxy had agreed! He says he'd met the rest of his life... I could not wait to be apart of his and build this life... The rest OUR life! An unshakable bond and firm foundation was built on that night. ( If life had a pause button, we'd still be stuck there and talking things out, your old man didn't want to let go of me , he wrote a piece about that hug ) Baby .... do you know how much we love you? We named you Leano. We knew we'd have you and your sister. I asked your father to give me you. Oooh I knew I'd risk it all for him before we even got together...( See... your old man and I have this thing of writing about each other, he's my mirror baby, my pulse )... I can't wait to tell him you're on the way, the journey of US growing. Your sisters are so excited for you to join us.... I wonder who you'll look like... Me? Or Him? I guess it doesn't matter because you'll be a reflection of two souls that came together and made you... With so much love! It over flows! Please behave when you get here? You've got two grandmother's who will give you a hiding any time of day! Unfortunately we can't help you nor intervene... Just know that they love you! We wait with so much love and excitement, you're gonna be totally grossed out when I tell you how we made you, oh .... Leano Anderson Leesolang ( I don't know what I'll name your sister yet? She's so beautiful... I'm hoping you both take my nose... And my eyes, ) Son.... Your father is beyond amazing, on a pedestal is where I'm placed. His love... His Queen. The mother of his children.. His friend, his wife... Life partner and Soulmate... Loved! Chosen! Kept! Grounded... Firmly Forever... We love you baby Get here already!!! Jamila _h.a.-l 💓👶👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

[bathobatsho]

[bathobatsho]

More time the emotional damage we incur unto ourselves comes from acting without knowledge, reference or mentored direction in life.

As much as our parents and families we come from can guide and instruct us, we have to admit that most of our elders can be out of touch with our reality which leaves us to wing life while trying to make sense of ourselves.

In turn and in return we wind up making decisions that lead us to heartache, triggered traumas and moral injury in our pursuit of love, belonging, a better future and fulfilment.

All these are achievable. All these are a reality to enjoy when you so choose and a past littered with mistakes, errors, actions based off ignorance, shame and guilt that present as arrogance doesn’t steal from what you can still become.

When you so decide, life, in all its bounty and joy, is yours to live to its abundant fullness.

Just don’t give up on yourself.

— Hakeem Anderson-Lesolang

Wa Batho Batsho Therapy

#PersonalCoaching #highperformancecoach #selfcare #Sire #healing #mentalhealth #mindfulness #MyBrothersKeeper #BlackAndBountiful

[bathobatsho]

[bathobatsho]

You found out they married and your heart pained in anguish. Your mind thought in disgust. And your gut turned in hatred.

You speak silent prayers that break the best of things and wonder why goodness knows your doors but never meets it’s entrance.

You move in ways that augur the worst of omens and cry alone when love wealth, you’re convinced will find you a permanence if you trial it in your thighs.

You love like fear. You hold like death. You cum like brokenness. You kiss like ash and taste like goodbye.

How’d you think this would end?

— h.a-l

[bathobatsho]

Imagine/Immersion

The sceptic and critic. The lover fearful of losing her doubts and worries that they’ll be left by someone they’ve poured their whole being into because, for the first time in your life, someone you give your body to, will nurture where they plunge into.

Your soul, spirit, emotional standing and expansion will be their touch intention and their heart’s affection with careful attention.

One day, you’ll wake up more than where your fears keep you. In the middle of an ocean you dared to walk into and swore fealty to in immersion.

Imagine. Just imagine...

— h.a-l

[bathobatsho]

new affrimations & wallpaper excerpts from #rosewater.

This spring. Healing arrives. Becoming dwells.

#rw19

[bathobatsho]

‪To my past lovers and others I bother,‬

To seek forgiveness for letting you meet my power.

My heart asked for more that you could offer.

Deeds only ten lifetimes could kiss & greet with honour.

Things I poured of who drowned you in waves & thunder.

I apologize for the torrential manna.

— h.a-l

[bathobatsho]

Excerpts & reminders from my upcoming poetry & affirmations book, #rosewater.

The book comes out this September, 2019.

[bathobatsho]

I understand when you can’t be there. Understand the fairness then when my trust grows rare.

h.a-l

[bathobatsho]

I think the most

Terrifying thing

Isn’t the fear of

The future itself.

I believe it to be

The loss of the

Comforts you’ve

Enjoyed, which now

Feel like your own

Self imposed prison.

With the door key in

Your shaking hand.

— h.a-l

[bathobatsho]

Black women aren’t your remedy, nor your medicine. Black women won’t heal you or stand in your shit. Black women Are tired bro. You’re the Poison. Kunini?

h.a-l   //  #ThePORN

[bathobatsho]

Girls with sunset in the brown of their skins will love you like you don't have sins. You only have to be their sunrise. her hope. her trove. her sole keeper & ease to her soul, sweeter.   Find a crown & king. Stand your ground & win. 

— h.a-l