#Haha this got long oops

[talesofourworlds]

25 and 26!

Ask the mun!

25. Your character

(ooc: Which one? Okay, but no, not snarky answer time.

All of my muses are favorites of mine in the series for various reasons. So forgive me for the long ramble.

Chloe and Jay were natural choices because they're my favorites to play as in Legendia and just my favorite characters of their party in general. Jay especially grew on me even more than he already had in past playthroughs when I did my most recent run.

While Jade is actually my favorite character in Abyss, I have a lot of love for just about every character in the cast regardless of protag or antag status. Except Mohs. He's like the one exception. So it's natural I gravitate toward that game in particular. To go into depth about every single one of them would take all day. Ion and Mieu are both adorable and the latter needs all the hugs. Tear is so strong of heart and, fun fact, the inspiration for how I do a part of my hairstyle. Asch deserves the world, and Sync... garbage child. I grew very attached to him when I first played the game in high school and never looked back.

Repede and Rita are two of my favorites to play as in Vesperia, and I just love Rita as a character in general. Repede's just cool because how often do you see an animal being playable in a Tales game? Maybe someday I'll bring Flynn onto the blog but today is not the day.

Hubert's my favorite to play as and favorite in general in Graces. And honestly... I relate to him a lot in some ways. Baby boy deserves the world.

Jude is also easily my favorite to play as and favorite character in general in Xillia. I just love the growth he goes through! And even though Ludger isn't my go to playable character in Xillia 2, I love him a lot as a character. I went in to Xillia 2 kind of thinking it would be a similar situation to DotNW where I did not like the new characters apart from Tenebrae and Richter. But Ludger and Elle very quickly won me over. So I gotta give the boyo some love too.

Edna and Eizen pretty much are a package deal even if the games say otherwise. They're both my favorites from Zestiria and Berseria, but Alisha grew on me a lot when I replayed Zestiria recently. She deserves the world, and therefore I shall give it to her. Magilou I didn't originally plan on writing, but after I did a test post as her I just was like 'Okay, yeah, I have to keep writing her.' So I did.

And Aegis is my favorite by default of Crestoria because honestly, he's probably one of the most interesting to me of the Sin Squad with Orwin and Vicious right behind him. So even though he doesn't get a ton of interaction on this blog, I still love him.

And Rinwell and Kisara not only are both from the newest mainline game, but you know. Both favorites of mine from their respective game. Rinwell is my main, and I basically knew from the word go in the demo that she'd be my favorite of the playable cast. Kisara I honestly grew to love more as I wrote some Arise fanfics, and so it just felt natural to eventually add her too.

Then there's the oddballs in Walter and Ivar. NPCs who both deserve the world. I know a lot of people don't like Ivar, but I think he's really interesting and he does go through a bit of growth between Xillia and Xillia 2. And Walter is just fascinating to me. I wish there was more of him in Legendia than what we get, and it crushes my soul to know that he could have been playable but then just... wasn't due to 'complications in implementing it.' So I just give him and Ivar all the love here on this blog that I can.)

26. Another active muse

(ooc: Okay, so I wouldn't say he's active since he's on my lowest priority blog, but I do write Shadow from the Sonic series. And I love him to death. Maybe not the character he's turned into due to the way the games have been writing him in recent years, but early 2000s Shadow is fantastic as a character. I'll spare the long ramble I could go on here but I especially love how he is in SA2. He's best boy.)

[kwillow]

will theo ever be happy

Maybe in another life.

[coffeesleep-ooc]

Essay on heartbreak points

Just thinking of LBH pining over SQQ along the novel before he finally gets the man

Pre-abyss LBH wants SQQ, but the thing i see in him is not just wanting him, carnally sexually or otherwise, he wants SQQ’s attention and approval bc he admires him, its as simple as that. Og goods already had his admiration just bc he was a great cultivator, he was elegant and beautiful and worked hard af, it was like…if a polished stone like jade was used to hurt rather than be the soft, warm and flawless concept of beauty - that chinese media usually uses -. But then the cold showed a soft inner core! Yes! Our dear transmigrator took over and confused the hell out of t he poor LBH that still struggled to excuse SJ’s behavior. Then though, SY took care of him with love and with smiles, using mdoern sensibilities to measure things like care and affection…and I think that some of those discrepancies between a hellish setting and a soft oblivious SY must have been quite jarring to LBH. He sees someone that believes in inherent good and is passionate and silly, knowledgeable and kind, and can’t help but want to be close! He admires him so much!!

Still pre-abyss, not only LBH admires the heck out of SY, he is also his shizun, and i don’t forget about his teacher kink but im talking about the dynamics of it instead of anything sexual. LBH knows and firmly believes that his position is way below that of SQQ’s, he is protected and cared for, but he longs to protect and care for as well right? Because he has seen that SQQ is powerful but not above everything, because he is knowledgeable but not all-seeing, because he may be taken advantage of by someone crafty that doesn’t deserve his kindness. LBH pretends to fall and be weak and helpless when it’s convenient for him, but he knows he has to take every advantage he can bc he needs to be strong enough to protect SQQ, because the world has shown him that there are many dangers and that someone not of a peak lord’s status isn’t worth to marry (idk how much about this airplane would have put into his work, but lets remember that ancient chinese marriages were a very foemal and important thing that involved status and wealth, not just love). Let’s remember our bun has also been a street rat and probably saw many things at one point or another! We can only speculate and write fics about that last point, but the street is not a good place to be, especially in a PIDW setting. Also, bc he wasn’t strong enough, quick enough, bc his family had no power or money his mother died, it’s as hurtful and as plain as that for him, even if he knows (does he though?) that it’s not his fault.

Onwards to the abyss! It’s shit. That’s what it is. Shizun who he admires, respects and loves above everything, who told him that nobody was intolerable for the heavens went against every fucking shit he said and coldly forced LBH into the abyss. What the actual fuck SQQ (affectionate), you gave him so many issues fr. I can only imagine how confused the poor LBH must have felt when his Shizun yet again changed tune like this in a way he can’t fully explain this time, even more so, he could try, but it wouldn’t change the fact that LBH is currently in the worst place ever because the person he loves with his whole heart threw him there (and possibly wanted him to stay down there? to become one of its creatures? To die? He has no idea???). LBH has strived to be good, to be worthy in his teacher’s eyes since he entered the sect and he has just gotten proof that he isn’t and will never be even though he had the hope of getting there despite everything. It’s just filled with heartbreak and i think that the system only deducted SQQ’s current total points bc he literally had to die to be deducted any more and LBH can’t have him dead and the system knows that extremely well! It also gave SQQ a scenario push remember? And that was only for LBH’s benefit istg, SQQ had no idea.

and talking about death! Funny thing isn’t it? It’s ridiculous that SQQ dies so many times (srsly bro, wtf - again affectionate) but I believe that the first was the most traumatic for LBH. SQQ doesn’t sneer at him like a disgusting mucus but instead is afraid of him! LBH worked hard to just see SQQ again, to reunite the courage to talk to him and ask him if he regretted what he did, to show him he was a good person and that he had power now, that he could impress him and protect him (he has lost a lot of his own self-esteem base and i do believe that’s part of where heartbreak points come from) the person whom he values the opinion of the most -the only one even- thinks him a beast and an unredeemable demon…and when he tries to peove himself not that, the only thing SQQ does is run away from him, to decide to be silent and refuse even LBH’s (biased) kindness. He wouldn’t even take LBH’s robe! Imagine that you love someone and that someone hates your guts and refuses to even acknowledge that they hurt you, oh, and all this while an evil sword is fighting to take advantage of your negative feelings. Post-abyss is also shit, just a bit better bc LBH has the illusion of control, he thinks he can still control the situation and is slowly losing hope of shizun understanding him. But the illusion shatters when SQQ self-detonates to save him. The one he supposedly hates. LBH is probably just eternally confused in sv now that i think about it lmao *pats consolingly*

post death 1 (actually 2 for SY): LBH thought he knew shizun, then he realized he couldn’t explain everything shizun did. Then he tried to ask, not even for a full explanation, just to know if shizun really did hate him (bc LBH truly doesn’t care at that point what SQQ does or what SQQ’s reasons and actions were as long as he still loves him, smhw he is so…) and got instead a blow up in his face, coupled with other ppl’s accounts of SQQ mourning him like he was actually truly dead, missing him and finally he sees SQQ sacrificing himself for him. This surely must be enough fpr LBH right? Well…not really, SQQ could have been sacrificing himself to protect the ppl around him - LQG is there and we all know that LBH is mildly sus of him at this point, it will get worse later when LQG is the one coming by every fucking day to retrieve SQQ’s corpse so mhm…its possible LBH thought they had something (not necessarily romantic) at some point, or that LQG and the other ppl were important enough to sacrifice his life for. Not only that, but shizun was not rejoicing when he came back, he never said anything. He killed himself in everyone’s pov -but SQH’s-without explanation, in the most tragic and confusing way of all, saying he would repay LBH…lets also remember that repaying someone can mean completely cutting ties and leaving with a clean slate. And the only actual thing he did was show LBH he didn’t have actual control over the situation and that it was possible to be completely powerful and still lose the ones you love and care about. Idk (or don’t remember haha…) the moment LBH started building the bamboo house in the demonic realm, but it says a lot about what he wants and what he dreams about, the most probable things he is feeling at this point is desperation and melancholy, nostalgia. He longs for the days where he was secure in the knowledge of Shizun’s affection for him, no matter what kind of affection it was, but at the same time is bittersweet because he knows that shizun will never love him foe who he is and that drives him mad with heartbreak that is just building up over time. He will also feel incredibly guilty over SQQ repaying him with his life, because all he ever wanted was basic communication but Shen ‘i am so emotionally repressed i can’t even tell what I’m actually feeling’ Qingqiu obviously thought he was being hunted for revenge. So rip LBH, he wanted an explanation or just a simple ‘i regret it’ but what he gets is confusion, a corpse he has to reanimate asap, and incredible guilt + more damage to his self esteem

Then SQQ comes back and doesn’t even try to search fpr him? And everything becomes a huge mess quite quickly. But. Luo Binghe watches his shizun go back to his martial family and interact with them in a way that he doesn’t interact with LBH anymore. LBH gets his face rubbed with the fact that what he strongly wishes for (going back) is impossible because he made the mistake of being born. Which, would demoralize the strongest of us honestly. And uta been so long since i read sv that I don’t remember much, but im sure that LBH can’t even think that SQQ does care for him, the trauma and insecurity, the abandonment issues have grown so big that they are like a bull in a china shop, ready to shatter everything in short range. Its only when SQQ gives his life (LBH does not know this but he is aware that SQQ would not have used papapa to save the world with just everyone) and gives him something he kept for so long - and that LBH himself thinks is precious despite being worthless - that he understands a bit that shozun may not hate him so much. I’m surprised that heartbreak points weren’t so used or that we didn’t get reminded of them through the story, because it would have given us an inkling of how LBH was feeling, but also spoilers and SQQ’s obliviousness, i imagine that at the end of sv they would have been lower than what they were (in truth) at the IAC but not completely gone

finally, i think that heartbreak points could be used to gauge how traumatized poor LBH was at eaxh point in time, but also to measure the state of his self esteem and the level of hope he had according to the way SQQ acted along the novel. I think that the points were all gone at some point (i eont remember anymore -cries- ) but i fullly believe that post canon Binghe still has heartbreak points and a whole lot of issuws that start to slowly disappear as thwir relationahip progresses. The only thing is that LBH still ties his own worth to SQQ’s opinion of him, and he will have heartbreak points again if he misunderstands SQQ st any point (unlikely but still).

Anyways…

THIS POOR BABY BREAKS MY HEART! He was terrible but he was also very human and truly, he deserves good.

Sorry about the rambling essay! :D

[juustozzi]

Serious question: who would be kiwi winged human

And is it mark

It suits him so much

it could very well be! I'm not sure how to put it into words, but... there's a venn diagram with Endou, the flightless wings and the style of karate I used to do for a little long ago (sounds random, I know, but) and they all mix in the middle: the vibe of being close to earth, steady and strong, pulling your power from inside and from the ground. probably makes no sense but that's the best way I can explain it :,D

but oh man. I also didn't know kiwi wings were so small before I went looking for refs....... but that could also fit Endou very well? like he doesn't think them of as anything special. they fit well under loose clothes, so he doesn't even have all of his tops fitted for them. sometimes he forgets about them and surprises new people by accident, or uses them kinda like as a party trick when he's older.

his molts are also probably the easiest, as the feathers shed little by little throughout the year, and not in molting periods. just a bit of lint roller action every now and then!

[moe-broey]

Back to what I do best (bare minimum Putting My Guys In Situations shitposts) 😌

Inspo under cut!!!

[shoyoist]

rekha :(((( just to torture ourselves what kind of angsty scenario do you imagine would bring hanma to tears if he’s in a relationship with you? sobs or is it only the death of those few he cares about that can break a man like him :(((( bye i’m so sad over him now pls

content: fem!reader (feat. my selfship content), established marriage, papa! shuji, angst. accidental pregnancy. mention of not wanting kids, family-related insecurities. thank you for indulging me rivvy<3

note: ok listen! i've been thinking about this all day. shuji isn't much of a crier, but when he does cry, it's over the people he loves.

shuji always says to you that he doesn't wanna have kids. and hey, you're cool with that. you don't need kids to make a family and a home with him.

just the two of you is plenty enough<33

but you get one accidental pregnancy after the other, and you find yourselves with two or three kids that shuji ends up loving more than life itself.

he jokes to you every now and then about how he doesn't know why he was so apprehensive about the idea before.

he's so happy! he loves his little kids, they share his and your features so evenly, their bubbly giggling at his silly faces are so adorable, taking care of them is so fun and god, he's just so full of love and joy.

until he's painfully reminded of why he didn't want to have kids— when they grow older and their personalities start clashing with his.

as a father, shuji jumps from too easygoing to too overprotective real quick. he finds something like their secret cigarette stash, that they've been drinking at parties, or they miss a curfew or two and it gets him irrationally mad at them — and when shuji's angry, he yells </3

he's just concerned for his kids because he knows full well what a reckless, dangerous childhood is like. and while he wants to be the chill parent so bad, he gets scared sometimes.

and his fear for his kids' safety comes out as anger and yelling. and his kids take after him, so his anger only makes their tempers flare up — which often results in a shouting match between father and children.

and while shuji tries to stay kind, sometimes, his kids say the meanest things at him.

(credits to my gf for these lines btw! this is actually from my selfship 🤭) one time, shuji is trying to confiscate his son's phone and ground him for a bit for staying out of the house a whole day and night after a prior argument, and it goes like this ↓

“give me your phone”

“what the fuck, you're not serious- i'm a grown ass adult!”

“give me your phone. you're not fucking grown. you're grounded, and i'm keeping tabs on you from here on out. now hand it over or i swear to god, i will take it from you”

his tone is threatening enough, and your son has no choice but to hand over his phone and shuji shuts it down and pockets it.

your son hisses under his breath like “this is bullshit”

and shuji retorts with a “this is how being a parent is”

and then his son says, in the meanest tone he could muster— “yeah, because you and mom were sooo smart for having so many fucking kids while being world's most wanted.”

and for a tense moment, there's a silence before shuji just heads to the front door and his shoes on, takes helmet and jacket and storms out, slamming the door shut behind him. he drives somewhere like yokohama wharf and just. breaks down and cries. all by himself. imagine ;( </3

he lights himself a smoke for the first time in years, tears rolling down his cheek and hanging for a moment at his jaw before they fall and stain his jeans with tears, and he's just wondering if he's a good father at all in the end.

he cries and cries and cries— and when he finally comes home to you late at night after everyone else has gone to bed, his eyes are puffy and red, and his hair is dishevelled. he looks so sad.

and when you hold out your arms for a hug, this big, 6'6 (because he was 6'4 at age 16. he's grown at least a couple of inches since then!) tall man, smelling of cigarettes and tears in his leather jacket and ripped jeans just slumps into you, his wife that he loves so much and just wants to be good to.

he's silent as you lead him to bed and help him undress, and while you're in bed, wrapped up in eachother's arms under the blankets, he asks you in a raspy, hoarse whisper, “am i... am i a good father to the kids, baby?”

and god, you kiss him, kiss his forehead and his face and his hair and you tell him yes, yes shuji you're such a good father to our children, and you're so good to me! so good to me and so good to the kids, shuji. you're okay.

he can't help but cry again after he hears that. he cries quietly but he sobs out loud, body racking and shaking your shoulders along with his own each time he takes a ragged breath in.

shuji knows he's not a family man. but god, god he wants to be one so bad. he wants to be good, for you and for his children that he loves so fucking much. and it makes him cry, whenever his fear overtakes him and convinces him that he may not be enough.

[omegaverse-guide]

All About Alphas

This post is supposed to summarize and explain alphas in the context of the omegaverse. If you don't know what that is, refer to Omegaverse 101 first. To see the corresponding post on omegas, click here. For betas, click here.

Biology

For the most part, people in omegaverse story are baseline humans and function as such, unless your canon (or AU of that canon) deals with aliens or magic. The difference is mostly in the reproductive system, which, in the case of alphas, mostly means their dick.

So how big are those dicks?

Big. A lot of the time, that's all you get, and all you need. The alpha has a big dick, usually even for alpha standards, and the omega likes it. It's up to you, the reader, to then imagine whatever size of dick seems appealing to you. When measurements are given, they vary wildly. Some will give you reasonable sizes of ~16cm/6in in erect length, that an actual human with above average dick size could reasonably have and put into someone, while others will throw reality to the wind and double that size, all while making the dick as thick as a thigh, and it'll still feel good stuffed into someone else. Somehow. Don't question it, just imagine, with every horny cell in your body.

Orgasms

Those are mostly the same, though they may occur more frequently. I mean, who really needs refractory periods? We got all the soft cuddling out of the way while the knot was in, so we can immediately go again! Unless the knotting was like six hours and involved like 20 orgasms. Maybe at least a snack is warranted. Some sustenance may be needed to produce all that cum anyway. How much cum? A real human male manages perhaps 1-2 teaspoons of it. The average omegaverse triples that, but don't be surprised to see way, way more. 10 times, 20, 30. Upper limits are for cowards, and omegaverse authors may be known for many things, but cowardice is not one of them.

Knots

Not every omegaverse contains knots, but the majority do. The base of an alpha's dick has the ability to swell during sex, which will lock the alpha to their partner for a period of time if the knot forms while the alpha is inside. This ensures their come is trapped inside for a while, and increases the chances of pregnancy if the partner is capable of it. The knot can last however long the author likes. Sometimes it's only ~5min, on average ~20min, but it can last multiple hours as well. The rest of the dick may go soft directly after ejaculation, or stay hard for the entire duration of the knotting. Or, if it's on the longer side, it may go soft and get hard again, to ejaculate multiple times. Even if the dick stays hard the entire time, it may still ejaculate more than once, and/or provide more than one orgasm to the alpha.

Fangs

While they're not as common as knots, some stories provide alphas with fangs. These may be an extra pair of teeth that drop and retract, or it's simply their canines that are either larger all the time or drop and retract as needed. These fangs exist to create a mating bite that will result in a mating bond, usually with an omega. They can ache when an alpha is really horny. Sometimes they dispense a chemical that forms the bond, though sometimes that chemical is simply mixed into the saliva, or does not exist at all.

Scent glands

Alphas have them, usually. They tend to be around the neck/shoulders, often with additional ones on the wrists and/or inner thighs. Alpha scents are generally described as musky, and while they can be anything that fits your blorbo, they don't tend to be sweet or unobtrusive, which is associated with omegas and betas.

Mating glands

Those are far from as common as the scent glands, though also usually located around the neck somewhere. Alphas tend to be the ones doing the biting, so they don't need a mating gland unless the author wants the bond between alpha and omega to be mutual and equal, or another alpha is gonna bite down on it.

Ruts

Fairly common for alphas, though not as integral as the omegas' heats. They can occur periodically, often once a month, or only happen if triggered by an omega's heat. Though even if they do happen on their own, an omega's heat may still trigger them. While they sometimes function as an equivalent to heats, their intensity varies much more. A rut could leave an alpha unable to control themselves, trying to bone every omega and fight every alpha in their vicinity, or it could just make them slightly horny and aggressive, but still perfectly capable of functioning in regular society with a modicum of self-control.

The elusive female alpha

Generally, they exist. Rare is the fic that outright states only men can be alphas. However, it's usually the badass female character the main m/m ship is friends with, or one of their parents, or some other side character. Regardless, she's not involved in what's going on in the bedroom, so we don't need to figure out her genital situation. Of course, some authors have still done it, always eager to go where noone else has ever gone before. It can be as easy as saying she has that dick on top of her pussy, and it's always been there, though then you have to deal with the ramifications of female alphas being identifiable at birth even without modern medicine. It can also grow inside of her and only pop out during puberty, or even remain retractable through life. It could also just be her clit growing into a dick during puberty. Maybe her balls always stay inside her body, maybe not. It's a mostly untapped market, and no consensus has been found, so if you, dear reader, are intrigued by this, venture forth with your own ideas!

Societal standing

Alphas are naturally dominant, and thus are generally imagined to be in a position of relative societal privilege. You live under patriarchy, you know how it is. For a pwp fic, you don't need anything else, and the same goes for some pure and innocent fluff.

One key difference though is the existence of betas. Not that this really has to change much - but at least it probably means alphas aren't seen as the standard default human, that privilege now gets handed over to betas. In turn, alphas get to be a bit special, the obvious leaders, whether it's just the pack or an entire nation or the whole galaxy.

Still, if you get really into the trope, there are an infinite amount of variations, that are much harder to summarize than the biology. I've compiled a short list of ways alphas can fit into society, just know it's incomplete and I have no way of incorporating every nuance of every 100k+ omegaverse fic out there. Many omegaverse fics even include societies in the process of change, or clashing cultures, so there really is no one way to write alphas and their role in society!

Total alpha domination

In this society, alphas rule. Whether it's by force or law or both, alphas decide everything in society, and hold all the important positions. Even if there is nominally equality, everyone defers to the alphas, and their power structures hold. Or perhaps there is no equality even on paper, and people largely agree alphas are superior or are scared enough to follow even if they disagree. This isn't the most common scenario, but it lends itself to darker stories rather well, as well as stories set in primitive societies.

Alpha leadership with beta backup

This is what I've seen most often. Alphas have traditionally been the leaders in this society, the ones who become kings and make all the important decisions, but with a network of betas behind the scenes. Alphas in this still hold privilege, but can be questioned, not just by other alphas but by betas as well. On smaller scales, laws tend to be in place to protect betas and omegas from being at an alpha's whims. Most modern AUs fall into this category. It can even leave space for powerful omegas without changing society itself.

Alpha brutes

In this case, alphas aren't the leaders. It's the betas, though it could also be the omegas. Alphas with their competitive and aggressive nature are seen as suited to physical work and combat - but not decision-making. They are the footsoldiers with no hopes of rising to an officer rank, the dangerous beasts driven by instinct in a modern society who has progressed past physical violence as a means to attain power. They may still hold some privilege simply through biology and instinct (and they may still score most omegas), but face oppression as well in the form of negative stereotypes about their intelligence and self-control, or being denied certain jobs and important positions.

Breeding stock

Alphas are reduced to nothing but their ability to procreate. Again, it's likely the betas calling the shots in this case, but it could also be the omegas. Whatever physical or natural dominance alphas have is taken from them in this scenario, so they're either left to try and attain a semblance of it when they're with omegas, or even that is outside of their power. Again, this is rare, but fun if you're into certain stuff.

Alpha Instincts

Whether it's just nebulous feelings or a distinct inner voice the POV character can actually talk to, alphas have instincts that are stronger than what a normal human experiences - perhaps even impossible to resist, if the author so chooses. So, what are they compelled to do?

Mate & Breed

Obviously, that's the first and most important one, the one the whole trope is famous for. An alpha wants to mate and breed an omega, especially if said omega is in heat. That's just what they do.

Protect (& Provide)

Not quite as famous, but almost as integral. Once the alpha has acquired the mate and possibly even impregnated them, they must be defended. It's incredibly common that this same instinct also compels the alpha to provide for their mate/pack, usually by bringing them food (even if it's just stuff they bought from the grocery store). If you so choose, this also makes them naturally inclined to take of their kids, though far from all fics do so, as child rearing is often relegated to omegas.

Establish Dominance

This is important. At least in bed, alphas generally want to dominate their omegas instinctually. But this also drives them to compete with other alphas, whether it's over a potential mate or not. Whether it's petty or violent, if an alpha doesn't control themselves, they'll be fighting a lot, with a win boosting their ego and a loss seriously bruising it.

...And that's about it! You've made it all the way to the end!

Remember, I've been generalizing - if there is any one thing you don't like, you can remove it from your fic! This is your playground! Everything here can be changed and challenged, adjusted to fit your fandom and your blorbo and your own desires. This is just an overview.

Have fun writing and reading!

[ccaptain]

''Kaeya Alberich'' and his Experience in becoming a ''being'':

Now that we have thrown the bases for what a ''being'' essentially is, how it works and the hierarchy of the Fictionologist, we can talk about ''Kaeya''. Or better: we can talk about what happened before he took the identity upon himself.

He was a bright child with a different name and different looks than what he's known for now, with nothing but Gallagher and Siobhan in his life after the former came to take him away from his crumbling homeplanet and took him to the reverie, where he grew taken care of and prepared as a future Emanator.

There was a fruitful journey ahead of him trying to save humanity from a past mistake that the people of his homeplanet made. It seemed to him like a big adventure at his age. After all the preparations, I want to say that he felt ready and excited, without the jitters of fear poisoning the experience.

I really want to say that. But he was indeed a bit afraid, because it started small. Small, sudden, and a much advanced age that he predicted it would happen- so he was fully developed into his own person, when the process began. It's always more difficult when it starts at this point, when an individual has already manifested with his own personality.

Slowly, very slowly- he realized that situations that would have drawn an emotional response out of him- a startled cry of fear at a particulary horrific scene in an horror movie, a long coming-from-the-belly laugh due to his dad's antics, bursting into tears for something emotional- slowly stopped doing that. It happened so gradually, with the startled cries reduced to a jolt, with the full laughs that he had into a polite chuckle, with the sobbing simply a watering of the eyes that could be easily subdued with a small distraction.

He attributed this to a shift of interests as he was growing, starting to use logic to justify things changing with him having no power to stop them. He tried to watch increasingly horrifically horror movies, to chase funnier things to make himself laugh, and to cause himself anger- but the response was always lacking. He understood what that meant- but it wasn't, by no means, less scary to see it finally happening.

He started to lose appetite and thirst as time went on. He no longer needed food to survive, and it didn't mattered if he really ate or drank healthy or unhealthy things- he has tried to drink motor oil, to draw a reaction out of his body, and didn't left any significant effects on him except for a slight queasiness that passes fast. Three days without sleeping at night didn't affected him in the slightest, either. when he tried to go on for a week, the result was much the same. He kept experimenting with how long he could go without any sort of rest, and found out that it no longer mattered- he could have ceased sleeping all together, and still would have kept going.

Who was before ''Kaeya'' started experimenting with what his limits were, and found himself unstoppable. There was no pain in physical harm- no blood was shed from a gash or cut. He developed an amazing capacity at physical recovery, the grey materia floating around the wounded area before starting to reattach and reform it in place, with the worst wounds having to be cured by the water of the Misty Sea. He didn't knew how to react to this change- only that it was what he was supposed to happen. But, until now, it was all things that were supposed to happen, mild things he could handle.

Then, the real deterioration started. And he had no way to stop it.

In situations where he would have once known what to say, words started to slip between his fingers as he was about to say them. He found himself stopping mid-sentence increasingly often, distracted on either an object or another line of thoughts, unable to pick the previous one back up.

He was no longer able to recognize social cues given to him or shown around him unless all of his focus was on analyzing them out of people- and by doing that, he was forgetting himself and furthering the process of burning away. With time, simple sentences became mono-syllabic responses with no emotions in them. And after some more time, he only knew how to be silent and stare, deeply engrossed in analyzing behaviors he no longer recognized as his own, avid to learn those back.

Time also seemed to slow down for him- an entire night would pass and find him busying himself with any task he could do to keep his mind off things, feet constantly in movement, body consistently busy with something. Mostly reading- mostly fixing things. Mostly tidying things. Righting. Steadying. 

The exact things he could not do to himself. It was him coping with events in his life. It still is, to this day.

He had started to forget what his biological parents looked or sounded like. But that mattered little, for Gallagher as his father and mentor was all that he knew and all that he would need to know. This was the thing that worried him less- the memories of a terrifying event just before happiness came in the form of Gallagher and Siobhan and the reverie, and parties, and his mentor's creepy tricks being taught by him, and chocolate milkshakes until he was being scolded by her for drinking too many and getting a tummy ache.

He felt less and less human every year that passed.

Every month, a little less. Every week, less. Every day, even less. Instead of asking, which he no longer could do, for a comfort that he was no longer sure what it meant, he started to simply letting himself float in a mildly awed haze at how the process of becoming a non-human Emanator worked.

And when one day he rose from his bed, as he did every other morning after a sleepless night. He looked at his hands and thought that they were no longer his. This was not his body, not anymore. This was not him, and never would be again- as what that he remembered being ''him'' had left.

So it began the first stage of a ''being''.

While I make this sound fast-paced and linear, this change in who he was before ''Kaeya'' took place over many, many years- from his teenagerhood well into his adulthood in terms of human years, at the very least, and certaintly much earlier before he even considered becoming ''Kaeya'' at all- so ''it'' had no avatar to take as its identity, hindering the process of reacquiring the traits he had lost.

By now, he was simply a vague human-like shaped figure that existed, two burning, mismatched diamonds as eyes the only sign of who he was.

( one of ''it''s earliest memories is seeing Siobhan staring back at him, and falling to her knees a moment after, numb. It remembers hearing her ask what have we done to him, Gallagher? what have we done? and him quietly answering our job to her; not understanding why she sounded so sad and defeated.

This is one of the reasons that the present Kaeya avoids coming home too much. )

There's something so, so uncanny about him having lost the qualities that made ''it'' human. Many Fictionologists coming to see it thought so, too.

Despite ''it'' being assigned to the Fictionologist ''Gallagher'' ever since human, many others were curious about the newly-born ''being'' as usual. Unfortunately, the ''being'' was also curious about them as if any other ''being'' trying to relearn itself- it never brought harm to anyone, but how it moved and expressed itself were... uncontrollably creepy, and vastly different from other ''beings'' known until now, who would be still until approached and would limit themselves to staring back.

Even from afar, it would cover the distance between the curious and unfortunate soul trying to approach it by what was essentially bending reality to shift from place to place- not quite a teleport, but moving in an incredibly fast way and making the air where it stood move strangely around itself. It would stand uncomfortably close to the person, almost nose to nose, tilting its head in fast movements and angling it to avidly study their expression and reactions. Curious Fictionologists were being slowly circled around, studied by ''it'' when they wanted to be the one studying, and found it uncomfortable. ''It'' would crane its neck abnormally close to their face, admiring the changes and shifts in their expressions without a single sound- just two mismatched diamonds that felt like burns into their soul. Many human Fictionologists would walk away from the experience a bit shaken, despite having reported to sense no hostility coming from the ''being''- just a deep curiosity. But for the ones who usually studied, to be studied in return was a shock.

Despite the initial fear, it was still a ''being'' and had to learn, too. So it was allowed to stand in the shadows as long as it didn't interrupted anyone's work, admiring others at work with its head slighty tilted to the side. Admiring their reactions, their usual routines, their precision.

The ''humanswatching'' had begun.

It started with old movies, podcasts, television programs and series. It would curl on the couch and be left alone for hours to perouse various medias, one after the other. Never tired. Never stopping. One after another until it could get its hands on more. It rewinded movies endless times or played those from the middle until satisfied- until it could successfully mimick a behavior, or an emotion it liked, until it was ingrained in its brain how to reproduce it. It would parrot phrases and tones of voices for hours, if it wanted to.

( Siobhan would often sit beside it, bringing what used to be her sweet baby boy a bowl of chocolate ice cream, to get him used back to the taste. You're going to eat so much of this, when you get better at this whole ordeal.

Perhaps this is why it's still Kaeya's favorite dessert to eat. )

It was during a curious trip in the Memokeepers territory that he found a particular dreambubble. A dreambubble depicting what was known as Teyvat, a planet long by destroyed, and the lives of many people. Inside the bubble, there was a cobalt-haired individual that caught its attention. This is a story that has been explained already- how ''it'' became not Kaeya Alberich, but ''Kaeya Alberich''.

He roused from a light slumber in a body that felt comfortable, yet uncomfortable at the same time.

When he stammered to the bathroom mirror, thrown off by the sudden shift of height, a different yet familiar face was staring at him with the same, slighty surprised expression that he was sporting.

He looked at his hands, and had the thought of these hands are the hands of my good friend, Kaeya. I'd better keep them safe.

He watched the callouses over the palms of his new hands, the complex lines human anatomy drew in his new palms, digits that moved to his command- he rolled a long strand of blue hair around his fingers, marveling at the softness of it, and admired old scars that he knew the stories of. He tilted his head to admire the complex shell of his ear, the earring weighting his lobe down with a new, curious sensation. He ran a finger over the softness of his eyebrows, the slighty crooked line of his nose, the moles on what he could see of his new body- and then, he locked eyes with who was in the mirror.

An human stranger was returning his mismatched look of puzzlement among cobalt locks.

His shoulders sagged with relief.

When ''Kaeya'' exited his room and went back home to the reverie, he could speak like an human again. He had another voice and another appearence entirely, somehow that mattered so little but so much at the same time.

He looked at his father and mentor, hesitated in contemplation of what to say, and then turned towards Siobhan. He said ''I'm back, mom. I'm sorry I made you worry.''

( For once she didn't reminded him of not calling her mom. She just held him so hard she almost bruised the new skin he had. )

The aftermath is known. He was dressed fashionably by Siobhan, and sent to the journey he was so excited about as a kid, to pursue his goal.

Millennias would come to pass with ''Kaeya'' traveling among planets to learn anything he could- from human to animal behavior, from math to physics, from cooking to singing to playing an instrument, learning a sport, to fix things, to keep himself occupied when Mythos didn't signaled him the proximity of a memory to fog. He kept himself busy and always occupied, busy and always moving. He re-learned emotions. He has met with people, and came to understand many things regarding humanity. But not himself.

He is, now and until major forces strip this identity away from him, ''Kaeya Alberich'': an identity in which he's both comfortable and uncomfortable with in in a bittersweet way ad that he's familiar with- his old self has been burned away permanently, with a few problems along the way: the goal he chases is becoming empty, guided by the memories of a planet he once recalled fondly a distant, hazy dream-like thought at the back of his mind.

There's no fall back plan, no identity to come back to: becoming a ''being'' has burned who he was away forever. It's been such a long time he spent existing that he remembers nothing before the man called ''Gallagher'' took him as one of his strays, and grew him as his own son- and the adventures he underwent after acquiring his new identity. The Enigmata took everything away from him, and gave very little back but a new identity he had to discover- and powers he could have never imagined for himself.

''Kaeya'' had no choice but to take what was offered.

And even after he took what made him comfortable enough, if asked about his past, there'd be some hesitation and shame in admitting that... no, he remembers nearly nothing of it. Only the idea of his birth planet, but not his bio parents, not whatever struggle he may have had to face when the Great Catastrophe hit. All that he remembers is the present, and his journey as a ''being'' of the Enigmata.

While it may feel like something to dodge a conversation, Kaeya's expression would reveal no lie being told- nothing of the sort. Simply shame and confusion for missing memories. Worse: a ''being'' that remembers can become the worst enemy of itself. Was Kaeya to finally remember who he was in his entirety before the process of becoming a ''being'', he would simply cease to exist.

Such is the life under Mythus.

It's an... interesting topic for conversation. Perhaps in front of a campfire, with the right questions and amount of patience necessary to discuss it.

[shima-draws]

Work was reeeeeal stressful today and my anxiety’s suuuper high rn lmao. Send some asks?

[frizzy-frizz-frizz]

Not Kevin related but what do you think of Haareya as Jerejean song!! Dgsvdttsgccsvxf

...oh. OH. ASFJSHDHJSH YOUR BRAIN!!

okay admittedly I don't exactly have jerejean brainrot. I adore them however I have not done a deepdive into their relationship in a long time

BUT, this fits them so well??

jean....lowkey hasnt been in close quaters with someone he doesnt have history with since he first got to the nest. and jeremy knox was so...loving in ways the ravens decidedly werent. this man doesnt know him, doesnt owe him anything, has no reason to be anything to him. they have no history and yet jeremy keeps asking to spend time with jean, to stay close, for no reason except that jeremy simply likes spending time with him.

and jean who at this point in his life, guards his privacy viciously, who clumsily, firmly, learns to make a space for himself makes, egst to have his space be his alone....and yet, he keeps every little trinket jeremy gives him. he keeping brining this man into his space. he keeps giving jeremy his time, his space, his heart.

listen to me, jean is here slowly, clumsily giving his heart to jeremy okay but poor jeremy is on the other end of this, freaking the fuck out. he sees jean fucking moreau in the same room as him and self combusts. man is too gay for this shit. he is suddently unsure of how to express affection and keep getting jean little trinkets and souvenirs. jeremy is the kind of man who's used to giving. his time, his words, his heart. he doesn't know how to function when jean gives him back MORE. when jean gives him pet names. when jean holds him as gently as its possible for him to hold anyone.

jeremy has known life and joy and beauty but he's never known Jean Moreau....

jean hasnt dared to dream of a future in a long time, but now that he can, his dreams almost always feature jeremy knox as a part of it.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

universe of constant spinning, every end a new beginning

“So, do you have an umbrella? That was like, your thing, right? At Claw?”

Ah—not again! He can’t keep zoning out while talking to people—especially his boss.

But… why was Reigen still here? It was late and he always got to work early. It wasn’t his job to stay and coddle his employees. “I—uh—no,” he stuttered, fingers twisting anxiously. “Mine was, uh, "is” broken, sir.”

‘Broken’ was a mild way to put it. More like it got destroyed.

[or, reigen gives serizawa an umbrella]

☔️2,651 words | serirei☔️

[morganaux]

@grumpyascianteddybear (Continued from here!)

When Morganaux had reached for Emet-Selch’s hand, he had expected to be met with anger. A scolding at best, he imagined, and violence at worst— he had taken precautions, preparing a particularly sturdy Adloquium shield upon himself before he sought out the Ascian on his own, but it appeared that it had been for naught.

Instead, he was met with... Sadness? Or, at least Morganaux thought he sensed a hint of melancholy in the man’s voice when he pulled away, glove left behind in the Elezen’s hand. 

But perhaps he had been mistaken, as he often was when it came to trying to read the hearts of others. Perhaps he was imagining things, or perhaps he had been projecting his own feelings onto the other. Being in the presence of their kind always did remind him of the one he loved and lost, all because of them, old wounds clawing themselves open again over a man that none but he would mourn for.

Whether or not the Ascian felt anger or sadness or something in between did not matter in the end. Morganaux was here to question him, and Emet-Selch’s feelings were not relevant, real or imagined. What was relevant was piecing together his intentions, and more importantly, making certain that his presence would not cause Hadianna any grief. 

Masking his frustration under a sweet smile, Morganaux held the glove over his heart, gaze as innocent as a doe’s as he looked up at the other. “Pardon me, but I’m afraid I don’t understand the message you’re trying to convey here. In Ishgardian glove etiquette, a single dropped glove means ‘yes,’ but leaving one in my hand is... Not something I am familiar with. You’ll have to use your words instead if you’d like me to understand.”

Ears flickering in amusement as a rather petty idea filled his mind, he then turned the glove inside out as he pretended to look it over. “Beautifully crafted glove, by the by, but let’s get to the point, Mister Emet-Selch. If you insist upon inflicting your presence upon us, I want to have a word with you about... You. Your purpose for being here, and why you’re not simply attacking us like the rest of you lot. I’ll leave you alone after you give me answers. But if you don’t, you’ll just have to put up with me until I’ve heard what I want to hear.”

[sunbeamsoup]

im the busiest ive been in months so as u can imagine. ch9 and 10 commence.

[sysig]

Tastes staticy (Patreon)

[doubleedgemode]

It's about time I drop my class ideas for the g.o. AU:

Note. I don't think the class names end in S if you're saying it on a plural way but, whatever:

Iops: Sol, Baiken, Leo, Zako B, Kliff, Slayer and Nagoriyuki (the latter two are iops in a much more vampiric way than usual)

Sadidas: Jam (being surrounded by plants does absolutely NOT help with a flammable restaurant)

Ecaflips: Johnny, Chipp, Zako C

Cras: Bridget

Xelors: Axl, I-No, Bedman and Delilah

Fecas: Potemkin, Answer and Anji

Sacrieurs: A.B.A, Raven

Eniripsas: Faust, Fanny and Leap

Ouginaks: Izuna

Huppermages: Ky, Judgment.. Zappa too perhaps?

Osamodas: May, Giovanna and Testament

EliAtropes: Ramlethal, Happy Chaos

Eliatrope Dragon: Elphelt

A very special eliatrope/dragon: Aria/Justice/Valentine (yes they're the same person in this au. Actually, it's not set in stone but at least Justice would be a super cool dragon for sure)

EliOtropes: Dizzy, Sin

Maskeraider but, not like the canon ones, I think: Jack-O

Minor almost godly spirits which are basically personifications of the Paladir/Necrome thing: Undine and Necro, respectively (come on even his name fits)

Regular unaffiliated humans: Goldlewis, Vernon, Daryl (I might make him a hupper..? but maybe he'd then be too similar to Ky) Crow

Steamer: Haehyun and Zappa (that or a hupper or unaffiliated..)

Steamer adjacent robot or something: Robo-Ky and RK MK II

Sacrimages *: Asuka

Srams: Millia and Venom

Roublards: Zato and Zako A

Shushus: Eddie, Lucifero, Roger, S-KO, Angra, the bad guy that got ahold of Judgment and Paracelsus

Elemental/or some sort of regular dragon: Dr Paradigm (I GUESS)

As for Leopaldon.. I don't know. Maybe the human is an osa, the dog is a mulou and the gear is a shushu but.. Dunno. Leopaldon is Leopaldon lmao

Idk for Ariels either.. Maybe a hupper?? Probably I'll go the boring routes or make her (spoiler) canon in this au, as the gg one, or just a high level shushu

Goldlewis' coffin friend: A very minor god who's almost in the verge of disappearing due to people not believing in them. Their only believer? Goldlewis, but he believes they're an unexplained monster (monster as in the kros.moz definition where they just commonly exist) so, they're there but not that powerful..

Janvis or whatever the jellyfish cat is called: Chacha :)

*ofc hybrid classes are a topic of contention but, they are Technically canon yet very rare. Asuka is straight up a Hupper, and probably was one before, but his perspective about pain and his eye thing that remind me of larmes de sang (sacrieur technique) gave me the vibes so he became both. Sacrimages is a made-up word, but with Nitura calling hybrid classes a combination of their names (ex: osadida) I thought Sacrimage would fit the bill.

[pierogipete]

😂😂😅

“omg you’re so creative. how do you get your ideas” i hallucinate a single scene in the taco bell drive thru and then spend 13 months trying to write it