#Had to google what the puzzle was even supposed to be there lmao
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Would you believe this wasn't the FIRST time I went back and solved a puzzle only to realize I'd already cheesed my way into the solution
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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#I REALLY LOVE DOING PUZZLES#BUT ALSO#I /WILL/ EXPLORE EVERY POSSIBLE PART OF A ROOM BEFORE I WORK ON ONE#act 2 spoilers I ACCIDENTALLY solved my way into the little underground Shar ritual room#Had to google what the puzzle was even supposed to be there lmao#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#astarion#tav#croissant adventures
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with imposter1998 finally over after a short accidental but much needed hiatus, let me just say uh, FUCKING THANK YOU? LIKE WOW? i did not expect you guys to participate and theorize and interact as much as you did, quite frankly i think you guys put more thought into this objectively silly idea than i did lmao
never before in all my internet years have i encountered such a fun, sweet, supportive online fandom. for imposter1998 and for daily kremy as a whole, the support i got from the many like-minded nerds on here was crazy. the tags and comments were plentiful and inconceivably kind, there was daily kremy FANART, @papa-goose-ollie got the whadda hell is a grapefruit one printed on a fucking MUG. shits crazy. but like truly everything about this has been awesome and i dont think i could thank each and every one of you enough :)
however, i think daily kremy ends here for now. made it to 150, i think thats respectable, but yknowwwww interests change and whatnot. however, you can guarantee I'll be back once new eps come out!
anyway enough sap do you guys wanna laugh at me for how horribly shambled together this whole game was behind the scenes (more under cut)
so this whole game was meant to last exactly 1 week, and conclude the day before Halloween. that sure didn't end up happening. probably because I "planned" this all over the course of like THREE DAYS. the extent of my planning was a single sheet of a4 paper and a barebones notes app doc
THE TYPOS WERENT INTENTIONAL. IT WAS SO FUNNY AND EMBARRASSING EVERYTIME SOMEONE MADE A COMMENT LIKE "Aha! Another typo! It's all coming together now guys!" LIKE NOOOO STOP LOOKING AT ME DONT PERCIEVE ME PLEASE😭😭😭😭 it was absolutely on me though, adding that tag mentioning them. it was supposed to be a joke at my own expense and people rightfully took it as a hint, oops <\3
all the puzzles were from my own noggin 👍 but very inspired by a few escape room boardgames like EXIT that I've played before. i also didnt know a solitaire cipher was even a thing. i thought i was being smart when the REAL smart thing to do would've been, uh, a singular google search.
and lastly, in the spirit of daily kremy, everything was made at like 2 am the day prior to posting and i totally winged it everytime. as in i had no clear idea what I'd write, just a bullet point to work off of. work ethic? never heard of her.
no comment on the ending! but you guys are super smart im sure you can have fun thinking abt it :)
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i saw u on my timeldinr and rmemebededd you psoted smthn abt your horse toys normal (?) minds cannot comtpehend can you pelazeee post them. i wamt to see them soo bad i lie in bed at nighf anf do my mental walkthrougj of all the horses i have seen amd met and want amd i come to an empylty stable and yhink of youse
OMG HI!!!! i'm really sorry i hate posting pics to the internet it feels like im doxxing myself but i found pics on google of all the horse toys i was thinking abt when i made that post:-)
edit HOLY mother this took over an hour to write and became insanely long so a lot of it is under the cut but i hope you enjoy<3
so for context my parents used to pay for a monthly subscription to "póni klub" (pony club) which basically mailed you a box of horse things every month and a big box every year (if i remember correctly! im not sure, i only got like 3 or 4 of them in total coz they said it was too expensive 😔) which means i have like an extreme assortment of random things just from that and then there's all the stuff i got as presents or as a vásárfia (means like, "son of the market" it's basically when someone gets you a little thing from the market you're at just coz you're there, for me it also meant like, the grocery store we went to on a roadtrip)
the póni klub stuff is extremely diverse, i have two calendar-journal things (explained a bit better later), several episodes of heartland on dvd (which i dont think i ever watched), a scary as hell audiobook about a cursed tree ?? (there's a horse there also), a bunch of fantasy or y/a books about horses, stickers, keychains, erasers, anything you can imagine basically, and also a lot of little figurines
the one i was specifically thinking of when i made the post is a toyline called picipacik (c is pronounced like ts so it's like, cute to say, it means like, "tiny horsies") which came with a little personality card for each horse and also a disc to a pc game which i spent an hour trying to find before answering this ask LMAO but i got it, it was one of those collectible things but all the figurines have fur (the cards have fur too i almost forgot!!!) and they all have names and exist in the game too
i got i think one of them from póniklub and bought the rest independently but i couldn't tell you, the póni klub calendar/journal/activity book thingies (they're really good btw they have like puzzles and jokes and informative articles in them too) are dated 2008 and 2012 so yknow. it's been. an insane amount of time. im shocked i even remember anything at all tbh but horse memories are forever i suppose
im gonna put a readmore coz this is getting way too long but ya finding my picipacik was what inspired the post but there's way more
idk if you know about the german horse figurine company schleich but every time we went to austria/germany (pretty often, long story) I'd see them on the shelf and I'd want one SOOO so fucking bad sooo bad but my parents were like no way they're way too expensive 😠 only for me to realise a few months ago they're literally 3-10 euros but WHATEVER i had a few of those coz I'd beg to get one every time i saw them, chief among them these 2 beasts. the pegasus has been on my shelf for as long as i've had the shelf and it's looking at me typing this and the skewbald horse is in the attic in my horse box but ok so looking these up they're selling for like hundreds of dollars on ebay which is insane coz they were DEFINITELY not even remotely that expensive or I wouldn't have gotten them. anyway they were absolute treasures coz of how much begging it took to get them and how much i liked them, i took them with me everywhere
i also have these gorgeous little guys or well i only have the palomino but i have two of it but i played with them a crazy amount as a baby so they're really beat up, one of them lost his tail years before i developed the ability to retain memories but i cannot even begin to tell you just how soft and fluffy their manes are
my BIGGEST obsession and the one i actually got to indulge in was filly ponies, they were really cheap and came in blind bags so that was the vásárfia i usually got on the aforementioned germany/austria trips, im not sure exactly how many i have but it has to be like at least 20 or 30? i dont have any full series coz they kept updating the generations really quickly so like every few months there'd be a whole new batch of them. I'd spend ages trying to look at the available horses on the back and trying to feel the blind bag and guess which one was inside and i was correct surprisingly often, I'd say like 70-80% of the time. and since they were really small well. i never shoplifted any unprompted but one time i found a bag someone had torn open and then left there, horse and all, and i didnt have the heart to leave it so i put it in my pocket. they also came w personality cards but i lost some of them and I wasn't brave enough to also pocket the personality card of the open one but given my tendency to lose things i own a surprising amount. they also came with big maps and catalogues so I'd cross out the ones i had and circle the ones i wanted, i still have the unicorn catalogue glued on my wall, that's the one i got the most of but im sure i have at least one of each kind, this is what the blind bags looked like but i also have one of the metal boxes
there were loads in each series and uh, hm, huh, well, lmfao ?? always encouraging when something's wikipedia page has a lawsuits section. im a fillyhead forever i think crimes are ok. ALSO APPARENTLY THERE'S A TV SHOW??? DAMN. to me they'll always be fun little toys i collected when i was 5. love these guys so much if i had shelf space I'd display them. i used to have them displayed but alas i have too many items and things now also everything is always dusty. like i said the unicorns are the ones i have the most of and i only ever got a single blind bag from the crowned series but i spent ages feeling the bag to make sure i got jewel the big one in the middle and I DID!!!! getting a good grade in uh, feeling blind bags???
anyway i hit the image limit but thank you so much for asking, i loove my little horse toys :-)) there's many more but they either dont have fun lore attached or they're just gen 2/gen 3/gen 4 my little pony toys or legos or lps or the horses that came with those wooden train sets so slightly less specific than the examples above but yeah i have a veritable museum of horse toys and plushies and so-on. i dont think I've gotten anything horse related either for myself or as a gift in MANY years (other than, yknow, horse riding stuff and then the actual living horse i had for a few beautiful years) which is honestly surprising given the sheer amount of horse stuff i got from age 0 to like, mid teens but i guess my inventory filled up or something
#thank you i loved thinking about my horses for 2 hours augh... my babies#i have a crazy amount fr like one day I'll live in a beautiful house i own and all the shelves are gonna be full of horses.#i have 2 more schleich ones i didnt mention one of them is a filly i got from a store but the#other one i found in a like free to take toys section in 2022 in amsterdam which was INSANEEE coz i was like omfg it's a#schleich and someone just left it here?? my dream childhood toy?? aint no way???#it's tiny but it's on my shelf next to the pegasus<33#if ur wondering why im using it/its for everything it's coz hungarian has no gendered pronouns so none of#my toys ever had genders and it'd feel really weird to gender them now lmao😭 but yea they're my friends..#i got mail!#nicemail#horses#best question ever thank u so much
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The Swine’s Scribe
Characters: c!Technoblade x gn!reader, an appearance by Philza
Background: You're in Techno's cabin after getting the rest of his wolves from L’Manburg after the second war. You were originally rescued by Techno from a blizzard after running from the first L'Manburg explosion (your house was among those destroyed.)
Summary: When Techno gets back from the second L'Manburg war, he lets go of a lot of emotions by ranting to you. You, being concerned about his mental wellbeing, ask if you can do anything for him, and eventually, he kisses you, which leads to some close-calls with Phil and a whole lot of smut and fluff.
Wordcount: 3291 (according to google docs lmao)
Warnings: NSFW, swearing, blood/wounds, biting, getting caught
I REPEAT NSFW, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
-------------------------------- Enjoy :) ----------------------------------
Ever since Techno brought you in from the cold months ago, you've been doing little chores for him in a way to repay his kindness. Even though he was the one who summoned the withers after the initial explosions, you felt safe around him. It had been hard to get used to at first, but now you felt comforted by his presence.
For the past week, you've been writing his journal for him after he broke his hand sparring with Phil. His hand has since healed, but you insisted that you do it for him, and he put up little protest.
"It was stressful, seeing your friends leave like that, in the blink of an eye. I don't trust anyone anymore, not after Tommy betrayed me. I gave him a roof over his head, hid him from Dream, one of the most powerful people on the server, AND I trusted him with my Axe of Peace." Technoblade's tone was strained and he let out a huff.
"Techno," you empathised, "are you sure you're okay after today?"
"I'm fine, please keep writing." He only ever said please when he was really serious, clearly, he was not interested in talking.
"Now, I refuse to bow to the voices. They want blood and I won't let them. Too many allies have died for me or have disappeared onto the other side, only to reemerge when they need ME, never when I need THEM."
Again, you piped in, "Techno, you're clearly not ok," his pale skin was flushed red and his eyebrows knit together into a grimace, "If there's anything I can do to help, please tell me."
He went silent.
"You don't have to talk about it if it's really getting to you... Or you could let it out. Either way, I'm here to help," You said.
"I'll think about it. For now, keep writing,"
For another half hour, he ranted about the destruction of L'Manburg and his dramatic reenactment was accented by occasional yelling and hand gestures. Suddenly, he stops speaking and gets a puzzled look on his face, "Um, what- what's the correct phrasing for - I guess - 'horny for violence'?" The tips of his ears were bright red, matching the blush now forming on his cheeks.
You chuckle, "I think it's hungry for violence..."
"Ah, that's it," Techno states, and then he completed his recounting of events. There's a bubble of silence in the air and he bursts it by asking, "Do you have any thoughts?"
"You know my thoughts, Techno..."
"I think I know, but give me words, I can't read minds."
"You're not healthy, you need help. You need better friends and a proper support system. Right now you really only have Phil, and I guess me if I even count."
"You count."
Now it was your turn to blush, but you continue, "Either way, that's not enough! You deserve more than you're getting. I can tell that even without the things you've had me write down. You're carrying so much weight, Tech."
"I didn't know you cared," he seems touched by your words, "I suppose I don't know a whole lot about you."
"And yet, you trust me with your deepest, darkest secrets, Technoblade."
"One thing I can trust you to do is help me with my armour."
He was still wearing the enchanted netherite chestplate and pants, both of which you started fumbling with. The leather straps were clasped tightly, as to not come off in battle, but you managed to manoeuvre them enough to get them to let go.
As the chestplate was lifted off of him, he hissed and then grunted. You look at the spot his hand flew to on his back, where his shirt had torn to reveal a big gash in his shoulder. It ran from his shoulder blade to his left pec, one of the only places where he was unarmoured.
"Holy shit Tech, why didn't you tell me this was here?!"
"I didn't want to worry you," He chuckled and then hissed again, "I guess that plan failed."
You did not find it funny. You immediately went to get the supplies Phil kept in his house, knowing that Techno didn't keep anything but healing potions in his chests. Phil was eager to help and he handed some bandages and rubbing alcohol to you so you could clean the wound. You also grabbed a spare scrap of leather for him to bite down on.
When you returned, Techno had moved to sit on his bed where he had already removed the greaves and discarded them beside him. You came to his side, putting down the alcohol, rag, and bandage.
"This is probably going to hurt, so I need you to bite down on this," you said, handing him the leather scrap.
"Ok," he said, watching you grab the alcohol and rag from the floor, "Just- just tell me when,"
"Alright," He put the leather in between his teeth, biting lightly, "you ready?"
He nodded, you put the alcohol rag onto the blood-crusted gash. He let out a sharp, low hiss, tightening his jaw on the leather to release some of the pain. You cleaned up quickly to minimise the pain and then wrapped it in the bandage, leaving some so you could clean and replace it later.
"All done, you ok?" You looked at him, one of his eyes was watering.
"Yeah, the pain's much worse when you're not pumped full of adrenaline."
"You better not be hiding any more gashes under all of those clothes,"
"Wanna find out?" He flashed you a smirk, amused by his own confidence.
"I'll take your word for it, but you're going to need to change that shirt, it's covered in blood."
"At least it's not my blood," you shivered a bit at that remark and helped him take his shirt off, careful not to remove the fresh bandages along with it.
For the first time, you saw him without a shirt off. He seemed surprisingly slender for being as strong as he is. There were numerous scars that etched every battle and lesson learned into his skin. Lots of them looked older than you expected and you suddenly realised that he must have been fighting for a long time before coming to the server.
"Like what you see?" he asked, and you rushed to put the shirt down and find an excuse.
"Um, I- I was just looking at your scars, I'll bring this downstairs,"
You rushed away, turning bright red, embarrassed that he had noticed your stares. You absent-mindedly tossed the shirt into the 'wash pile' and then you remembered, in your rush, you had forgotten his greaves. With a huff, you climbed the ladder back to his room.
Techno sat in front of the fireplace, now roaring with renewed vigour from the log he'd tossed in. His pink hair had been undone from the messy braid he had put in that morning. It was almost dyed red and black by the blood and soot in it. He was playing with it, picking out debris and running his fingers through the more knotted bits.
“Tech?”
“Hmm?” he looked up at you, still fiddling with the hair in his hands.
You sat down next to him and he relaxed into a cross-legged position, with one knee tucked under his chin. His free hand is right next to yours and he doesn’t look at you. His face is red, probably from the fire.
“You looked like you were in a trance? Are you ok?”
Silence filled the room again,"
“You don’t have to tell me but just know I’m here if you need to talk. Obviously, I haven’t tattled about anything yet or Tommy and the Butchers would be knocking your door down by now.”
“The voices are quieter than normal. I can hear myself think.”
You try to be encouraging “So? What are you thinking about?”
He looks you in the eyes, they’re deep, his pupils adjusting makes you feel like he’s looking into your soul.
“Um, I’m not sure you’d want to know.”
You frown and protest since you’re now more curious than ever but still a bit freaked out. "C'mon now you've got me curious,"
Techno looked away, solemnly gazing at the fire “I meant what I said about you being a trusted friend. I don't get many of those so, thanks. As for why this is coming up now, well, I guess I’m lonely.”
You hesitated, “Me too, Tech. You're kind of the only one I trust, and I guess Phil, too, but I'd trust you with my life.”
He blushes, looks away, and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear before turning back to you and putting his hand on yours.
You immediately flush and you see a grin seep onto his face.
"I'm not really talking about friends anymore. I want... someone..." he almost whispers
"You mean?" he nods, "I guess I've never had anyone before. I think it'd be nice to see what it'd be like."
“I think we can kill two birds with one stone here, don’t you?”
Now you're both bright red, nervous, schoolkids who gingerly lean into each other's faces, gaze fixed on the other's lips. Your hearts beat hard while your brains rush to make sure you feel insecure, the voices in Techno's mind screaming excitedly.
“You good up there Techno? Your light is still on, it's far past midnight, mate!” Phil shouts from the bottom of the ladder.
“I’m fine, just," He pulls away from you, "reading. Goodnight Phil,”
Techno's ears perk up to listen to the receding footsteps. You’re both standing now, he's standing over the trapdoor, making sure Phil had gone. Once he was sure, he comes over and kisses you hard.
“Tech-"
“Is this ok? I’m not doing anything wrong am I?”
You think He’s clearly never done this before, as you respond "Yeah, I like it..." you continue, stumbling towards his bed where you’re initially just kissing like two teenagers as if it were your first time, desperate, but awkward.
Your hand was pressing against his chest as you laid next to him, tasting each other's spit, learning the ropes since neither of you had ever done this before.
The light from the fire made your shadows dance across the wall, arms moving to hold each other closer, legs wrapping around Techno's, bodies shifting so he's on top of you. Only the roar and crackle of the fire and the occasional grunt or gasp from you or Techno could be heard.
--- Smut begins here ---
As you both part to take a breath, he pulls your shirt over his head. When he leans into the crook of your neck, you notice the tent in his pants pressing against your inner thigh. In between your own legs, there was a pool of slick forming.
You moan, loud, fully knowing that would send Techno wild. He pushes further towards you and holds your arms above your head so he could press his mouth against your neck, leaving red, hot, sticky marks leading from your collarbone to your abdomen.
You're both panting as he lets go of your arms and you wrap them around his neck, pulling his head in for a long, deep kiss. His hot breath warms your cheeks as he repositions himself.
"Hey, is this still ok?" He asks between breaths.
"Abso-fucking-lutely,"
He fully loses himself, taking his hand from your cheek and moving it to your pants, never losing eye contact. You nod and he pushes his hand into the spot between your legs which was now drenched in slick. He found his way to your hole and pushed his index finger into it, creating a sensation you'd never felt before.
Instinctually, you gasp and then moan, harder than before. You rock your hips to his rhythm while he continues to press bruises into your torso. Eventually, he brings his face back to yours and kisses you. You let out another moan into his mouth. He grunts and then chuckles, kissing your cheek before pulling his finger out and then going back in with two.
Now, you're whining, pulling on his long, pink hair. You notice everything in those moments, his rhythmic breaths into your neck and pumping of his finger in and out of your sex, his other hand holding your waist, pushing upwards to caress you, his soft hair in your hand.
"Is it my turn now?" He gruffs.
You hum in affirmation as he pulls away and you kick off your pants as he undoes his own. You immediately notice his size. Compared to his fingers, which were pretty long and thick, to begin with, due to his big hands, his member was a giant. His hand that had previously been half inside of you was now working his dick, its head coated in pre-cum.
While you had seen other penises before, mostly in study, you had never seen one up close, and you'd only seen ones on humans. The hybrid piglin-shapeshifter was sporting a human-like head and shaft, 9 inches (at least) all the way down to a knot... he had a knot...
He notices you gaping at his dick and grins, leaning into you again. "Wanna help me with this, or... should I help m'self?"
Eager to please, you lightly push him forward so you're both sitting up while your hand inspects the new acquaintance. You look up at Techno for guidance. He nods and pushes your hand down with his own. He guides your hand up and down the shaft until he’s no longer guiding you and you’re doing it all yourself.
He does the same with you. The space between your legs was now, simply put, slippery. He did his best to please you, eventually managing three fingers easily.
The pants and gasps were syncing, the knot in your stomach growing stronger while you danced your mouth on the head of his member. He lets out a particularly loud grunt and removes his fingers from your sex. You suddenly feel empty, and he pushes you over onto your stomach.
He puts himself under you, his dick under your mouth. You lick the ever-present pre-cum off of the head of his dick once again and then begin to bob your head up and down, managing to fit him halfway before choking on him. His groans were now louder than yours, becoming more frequent.
"Ughh- fuck," he moans.
Now he holds your head and gently begins to fuck your mouth. Your bobbing was no longer enough, he wanted more. He thrust his hips into you, managing to get a third of the way into you and then it turns into deepthroating after every thrust.
You gag, unable to take him all the way, and so he decides enough is enough and you both rush to get him inside of you. He gets up, moving to position himself above you. You continue to stay in the position he left you in, on your hands and knees.
"Turn around," Techno says.
And so you do, you lay on your back, full of anticipation and covered in juices. He puts his hand on your stomach, leaning in to kiss you lightly, pressing more red marks into your sides, slowly turning you so you face the wall.
He pulls away and holds your leg away from the other, practically putting you into the splits.
"Techno..." You whisper.
"Hmm?"
"Is this gonna hurt?"
"Dunno, darlin'," He leans in again, "let me know if it gets too hard, ok? I'll stop if you say so."
You nod and kiss for confirmation, reaching to hold your own leg up to give him full access.
He inserts the head and you can already feel the stretch, slightly painful but you push on, your fingers grasping the sheets to keep yourself grounded. He’s pushing into you slowly, making sure you're not getting in over your head. You hold the sheet tighter, groaning from the stretch.
He pulls out slightly and the pressure releases. You moan hard, making sure Techno knows that you like what you feel. He pushes in again and begins to thrust into you. Techno is getting further and further with every thrust, and you moan between every breath. He's three-fifths of the way in and he's only getting harder.
Techno's hand replaces yours, keeping your leg raised as you move your hand to work yourself along with him. Your heart beats faster and he picks up the pace. He can get all the way to the knot before pulling out and thrusting in again.
"Tech... Fuck, it's so gooood..."
Now he's becoming sparattic and his face goes into your neck, biting softly, barely enough for blood to form. The knot in your stomach tightens and you scream into the pillow as he pushes all the way in, his skin hitting yours as his knot slips into you.
He moans and thrusts lightly into you, coming inside of you. You feel the pressure inside of you release as you come with him. You're being filled with his sperm, eventually spilling out along with your own come onto the sheet.
He continues to work you with his hand, breathing heavily into your neck. Your heartbeats are in sync and his juices continue to spill out of you, soaking everything below you. You try to look him in the eye as he shakes slightly, somehow still coming.
"Tech? You're still..." you gasp. "I know, sorry... it might be a while..." He grunts out.
Techno's ears perk up and he shoves you under the blanket, still stuck inside of you with the knot.
"What-"
He puts a hand over your mouth as you quiver underneath him, overstimulated by the pressure and his hand which still rested in between your thighs. What the hell is he doing?! The non-stop cum is weird enough, what-
Soon enough, your questions were answered when you heard the footsteps downstairs.
“Do you have my hat?” Phil's voice yells from the base of the ladder.
“Can't you-" he breathes, "you get it in the morning?”
“No, I'm going out super early tomorrow to scout out and make sure we haven’t been followed back.”
“Uh," fuck "it’s on the chair next to my desk up here? I’m in bed…”
Phil comes up the ladder and opens the hatch, eventually finding his hat while techno covers your mouth and lays belly to belly with you, he’s still dribbling a bit, so are you. You’re whimpering slightly.
Phil stops at the trapdoor. “Did you mean to leave the fire on mate?”
“Uh, yeah I was gonna let it burn… I was cold”
“Where’s your friend, loverboy?”
You feel Techno blush above you, his warmth suddenly radiating out from him.
“Um. They went to trade with some piglins since we’re almost out of spectral arrows.”
“Alright let me know when they get back, I just want to make sure they’re ok. Ever since you found them in the snow you’ve been doing better, it seems. Almost like you two are a... thing?”
The question lingered momentarily and you could almost hear Phil's eyebrow raise before Techno answered.
“Hmm, thank you, Phil. Close the trapdoor when you leave, I don’t want the warmth to leave.”
“Alright.”
Finally, the footsteps were gone. He pulls the blanket off of them and he takes his hand off of your mouth. You gasp for dramatic effect, laughing quietly to yourselves at the close call.
"Can I tell you something?" Techno whispers into your ear.
"Yes, you're literally deep inside of me, I'm guaranteed to be interested in what you have to say,"
"I love you"
"I love you, too..."
#technoblade#dsmp x reader#techno x reader#mcyt smut#dreamsmp#c!technoblade x reader#c!techno#first fic sorry lmao#c!techno x reader#eli scribe#Elias original
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☆ミ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”
PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN
y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.
─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand)
author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!
ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.
✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼
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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it.
Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.
Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge.
But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.
Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”
You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.
But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too.
Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.
That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view.
You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”.
Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.
Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.
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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”
Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.
“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”
While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.
r u dating sykkuno?
You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”
the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team
“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”
how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?
“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute.
can i be adopted by ur parents plz
will you and corpse ever collab?!
You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.
Corpse_Husband: yes.
Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.
pack it up, sykkuno
More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets.
“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”
we are prepared
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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.
y/n is a child murderer
“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”
take a break and go eat queen <3
“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”
Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance.
“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?”
The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over.
“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”
Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”
“Your pizza came.”
“My what now?” You echo, confused.
“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”
“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”
Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.
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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”
If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae.
looking hot, her message read.
thanks, was all you replied with.
You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.
Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.
“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”
You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.
“Glad you liked it, baby.”
He was going to be the death of you.
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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707
more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙
#corpse husband#corpse#corpse husband x reader#corpse x reader#corpse husband imagine#corpse social media au#corpse husband fanfic#social media au#corpse husband x y/n#corpse x y/n#corpse husband fic#reader#xreader#imagine#imagines#myso#make you say oh
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Tag Game To Better Know You!
Send this to people you’d like to know better!
tagged by @anakincito and @bladling i love my fans
What book are you currently reading? gravity's rainbow by Thomas Pynchon :/ in my fucked up pretentious bitch era ig
What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? i dont think ive seen anything in theatres this year lmao? a friend and i did make a whole big thing about watching prey, i made a cake and everything and blacked out my room so that we could watch it. transcendent moment
What do you usually wear? ripped skinny jeans, hoodie/crewneck of some time, in these Cold Winter Months usually a turtle neck and doc martens
How tall are you? shut the fuck up
What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Sagittarius, lemme google for a second okay 1 min, yes c.s. lewis and chadwick boseman very cool
Do you go by your name or a nick-name? a nickname. lmao i specifically picked a name that i could shorten to a nick name because i love nicknames
Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? ive had low grade depression since i was 9, i did not want to be anything when i was a child
Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? i am not and i fall in love with every single person i meet but also i do not feel healthy attraction so this means nothing <3
What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? i am actually very good at academics and academic problem-solving/tutoring. i am so bad at puzzles and driving in the snow
Dogs or cats? i love kitty cats even tho ive only ever had dogs
If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?
What’s something you would like to create content for? want 2 make more star wars stuff and i have the weirdest idea for a criminal minds fic floating around my noggin lmao
What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? putting obi-wan and anakin into fucked up lil scenarios and making them have sex about it. im also obsessed with the prospect of making blueberry oatmeal cookies
What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? was supposed to enter my slut era cuz i got an iud and then The Horrors Emerged
What’s a hidden talent of yours? i am, surprisingly, very Liked by Parents. pretty much every single parent ive ever met likes me. this has not paid off with me getting a milf or a dilf.
Are you religious? no and if i was it wouldnt even be a sexy or cool religion cuz my family is made up of jehovah's witnesses
What’s something you wish to have at this moment? my glasses, i put them down somewhere and now i cant find them cuz to find my glasses i need to be wearing my glasses but i cant be wearing my glasses cuz idk where they are but to find my glasses i need to be wearing them, you understand my struggle now, yes?
hmm i think my mutuals p much tagged everyone but i'll tag @soresus @sketchyspirit and @sensoryseekinganakin
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Anti-Hero
summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.
pairing ~ jungkook x reader
genre ~ fluff, smut - college!au
wordcount ~ 8.5k
warnings ~ 18+ only! smut, explicit discussion of kinks/sexual preferences (yay healthy communication), dom/sub undertones during both discussion and sex (dom Jungkook, sub reader), mentions of daddy kink and degradation but both are a no, marking, biting, hair pulling, spanking, they both have a srs pain kink lmao, brief oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, creampie
a/n ~ SO excited to finally have this chapter out for yall! it’s a huge one and i’ve been working on it for quite a while, this includes the first full smut scene for this fic and i would love to know how yall like it or any other feedback. i really enjoyed writing the character development in this chapter too! they’re so cute and whipped for each other already hhhhhh. thank you so much for loving this story so far, i’m really looking forward to writing the rest. hope you enjoy! ❣️
previous: chapter 1 | chapter 2 ~ next: chapter 4 (coming soon!)
~ read on ao3 ~
CHAPTER 3 ~ particular, perfect
You concluded your walk home by ditching your shoes at the door, swinging your bag off your shoulders to the floor, and plopping down onto the couch immediately. Pulling all three nearby blankets over yourself, you realized you still weren't quite comfortable. You looked around for a second, puzzled, until an absentminded clutch of your boobs reminded you why. Triumphantly, you reached into a sleeve to untangle your bra and chucked it across the room with a deep stretch of relief. Okay, time to overthink again.
Jungkook? What the fuck?
Wait. A bag of chips on the kitchen counter caught your eye before you could descend any further into panic. The perfect emotional crutch. You clutched it to your chest like a safeguard against your own internal monologue, anxiously shoving handful after handful into your mouth. After about thirty minutes spent motionless on the couch with one hand shoved in the chip bag and the other distractedly scrolling through Twitter, your eyes suddenly widened and your hand froze, dropping your next bite of chips back into the bag. Fuck. You had just eaten nearly an entire family-size bag of chips before what could end up being your first fuck in over a year. Well, maybe this was part of why you hadn't gotten fucked in over a year. No, don't go there. You shoved down your own insecurity, knowing you'd just been too busy for a relationship and honestly, probably still were. But that wasn't going to stop you today.
You shook the chip dust off of your hands and got up to head to the shower, turning up your trashiest throwback playlist of getting-ready bops and resolving to at least shave your legs. Going in with no expectations was probably the best strategy here, but it never hurt to be prepared.
~
Having cleaned his apartment in record time, Jungkook was now at the gym. After triple-checking that his roommate Jin would be in rehearsal until 10pm at the earliest, he quickly scanned all the common spaces and his bedroom and realized he didn't actually have that much work to do besides politely closing the door to Jin's still-decent-but-somewhat-messier room. To be honest, Jungkook had mainly bought himself the time after class so he could shave just in case. But then he figured if he had to shower, he might as well hit the gym first. So here he was, burning off an unprecedented amount of nervous energy. Settling comfortably into the leg curl machine, he turned his music up and started on a low weight to put in reps until his thighs burned and his head felt pleasantly empty.
After completing his normal leg day rotation and dutifully stretching, Jungkook prepared to head home. He walked out of the gym feeling more energized and centered, barely even flinching when he switched his AirPods off to say bye to the nice girl at the front desk and the action accidentally blasted "Whistle" by Flo Rida from his phone speaker for the whole lobby to hear. As he walked back into his apartment, the kitchen clock let him know it was only 4:30. He had plenty of time. Jungkook hopped straight into the shower, shampooing his hair, shaving everywhere he normally did, and savoring several extra moments to relax his muscles under the hot stream of water. Finally, he toweled off to wrap up in the black t-shirt and cozy matching sweatpants he'd carefully stacked on the counter. Offhandedly singing to himself in the steamy mirror, he checked the time on his phone, deciding he might as well go ahead and text you before he got nervous again and did something stupid. Like chickening out completely.
hey its jk! im ready when u are :) my apt is 344 glencoe rd #1521 (yes its on the 15th floor sry D: )
His charming old-school smileys lit up your phone while you still had a leg perched on the bathtub's edge.
"Fuck!" you reacted. The hiss resounded, thanks to the too-good acoustics of your cramped bathroom. Your razor clattering to the floor, you paused your max-volume 2000s music to check the message, and then the time. Only 5! That wasn't dinnertime yet. Plugging his address into Google Maps, though, you realized it was a 15- to 20-minute drive from yours on the opposite end of campus. Even if you got ready at light-speed, you would get there closer to 5:30. Which was a bit more reasonable. He was being reasonable! You should be ready by now!
You leaned over to pick up your razor and cursed again as the water stream grazed the blouse you'd left on out of laziness. You'd showered this morning, so there was no need to repeat that with your shave, but now you'd have to change outfits completely. Feeling like an idiot, naked from the waist down but now all the way wet, you peeled the shirt over your head slowly to preserve your good hair day and glanced down at the dilemma you'd been facing. The patch of hair between your legs stared back at you like the final boss of stupid societal beauty standards. You'd only shaved down there once, as an anniversary present for your first boyfriend the summer before college, and it had been a fun, smooth novelty for about two hours and then itchy, red, gross-looking, and miserable for about three weeks. Also, it had kind of made you feel like a little girl, which creeped you out when you thought about why guys would prefer it. You'd been debating whether to try it again for the past fifteen minutes, because if there was ever a right time, this was probably it. But now you didn't have time, if you were going to be respectful and not keep Jungkook waiting. Well, this was the real you. He could take it or leave it.
Slathering a quick coat of lotion over your freshly shaved legs, you prepared to get dressed in a soft pastel sweatshirt and a flattering pair of workout shorts. Wait, should you wear lingerie? Was that too try-hard? You didn't really even need to wear underwear with these lined shorts, which could be a cool-girl move, you supposed. You settled on a cute white sports bra to go with the shorts, not wanting to deal with a real bra and hoping it still appealed to Jungkook's casual, athletic style. You checked yourself in the mirror briefly before grabbing your bag, confirming you looked chill enough but still felt like your best color-coordinated self. Heading out, you shoved a tin of chrysanthemum green tea in your water bottle pocket. Why not?
~
You whizzed over to Jungkook's apartment, yelling along to "Sex With Me" by Rihanna from your throwback playlist to hype you up in the car. When you knocked on his door after a nerve-wrackingly long elevator ride, Jungkook welcomed you with a "C'mon in!" amidst a mouthful of shrimp chips.
"It's not really dinnertime yet," (yeah, no kidding, you thought) "I went ahead and worked out but it's still kind of early, so I figured we could just have a snack and do the homework first."
"Sounds good," you affirmed. "I'm not really that hungry," (read: there's no way I can eat chips AGAIN right now, I'm going to bloat so badly) "but I brought tea so I can go ahead and make that if you want some too!"
"Oh cool, thanks!" Jungkook accepted. "Are you sure you're not hungry though?"
You almost gave into his sweet pout, but managed to convince him, and soon you both sat at the table with laptops open and twin cups of tea. You had a blast working together for the first time, acting out your "conversation" for the discussion board and pretending to respond spontaneously to each other's points like you hadn't already excitedly rambled back and forth through them in real life. You hit "send" five minutes apart, your idea to not seem too suspicious, and kept raving over Rear Window in between. As the sun lowered outside his living room window, you moved on to making the ramen.
After three offers to help Jungkook, all of which he denied, you simply made another steep of the tea, leaving a mug on the counter for him. Standing at the bar counter sipping yours, you enjoyed all the tiny, cute noises he made while chopping green onions and sprinkling extra garlic in the seasoning, like an anime character who came with his own sound effects. You could tell he made these recipe additions every time, because bulk quantities of the same simple ingredients lined the counters of his cozy kitchen. When he beat two eggs and dropped them into the pot, though, he couldn't seem to find a lid, and eventually settled on trapping the steam with a plate. You both waited on the egg for a silent moment, your foot bouncing under the bar while Jungkook restlessly acquired a slight wiggle. As he took a sip of his tea, a strand of hair fell over his eyes, and he yeeted it out of his face. Your inner language nerd cringed, but there really was no more apt word to describe the action.
You offhandedly said you liked his hair long, and he replied with a smile, "Maybe I'll have to keep it then."
"Do you like it too?" you wondered.
"Honestly no, it's kind of inconvenient."
"Oh, then why would you keep it?" you immediately asked back.
"Well..." he dragged out. "You like it? Maybe I should keep it if it looks better this way."
Your eyes crinkled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness, but then you backtracked. "Wait, no, it's okay! If you don't like it, don't feel like you have to keep it just because of something I said. You can do whatever you want."
"Hm, yeah." A demure smile tugged up the corner of his mouth as he lifted the plate from the ramen pot.
You watched him drag a chopstick through the floating, now-cooked egg to tear it into ribbons, then divide the noodles between two generously-sized bowls. He carefully wiped down the drips of broth from each bowl before sprinkling in his fresh toppings, then walked with you to the table.
Serving you with a pleased smile and a slight nod, he announced, "Dinner!"
"Wow," you mused playfully. "So gourmet."
"I'm really particular about my ramen," he admitted. "I have it down to a perfect routine at this point."
You took your first slurp of his particular, perfect ramen. "Well, it's really good. I'm impressed. And thanks for making me dinner, you didn't have to do all that."
"Oh, come on, it's instant ramen," he laughed. "Nothing special. And you brought the tea, so thanks. And thanks for coming over. And doing the homework with me. And...yeah." Rambling again. Why did he seem so...nervous? You were nervous. He couldn't be nervous. What reason did he have to be? But the twitch of his mouth under his wide eyes, his slightly reddened ears, his hand skittering over his neck—fuck—to ruffle his hair...every action turned another page of his open book. It felt infuriatingly unfair that genetics had assigned someone so sweet and shy and unsure of himself to that fucking body.
While you both ate and talked, you kept catching glimpses of any small flashes of skin you could find, as his long sleeves fell to expose his forearms and the wide neckline of his boxy black shirt gaped around his collarbones. What was wrong with you? Even if this did eventually turn into a dick appointment, the boy still had literally all of his clothes on. You tried to refocus on finishing your noodles, while your brain screamed at itself in shame that you could get this turned on by the sight of someone covered from neck to ankle.
Jungkook ate surprisingly slowly, probably because he kept pausing to excitedly explain his favorite things about the Cowboy Bebop episode you were about to watch together. You smiled into your tea through every out-of-context fun fact and "wait, sorry, that might have been a spoiler!"
Finally, he reached the bottom of his bowl and insisted on both taking your dishes to the sink and leaving them for him to clean later. "You sure you want to start on episode 2? Not 1?"
"Yeah, I remember well enough and your summary helped a lot too!"
"Okay, if you're positive!" he double-checked, grabbing the remote.
Gingerly lowering yourselves to the couch in sync, you avoided looking at each other as you both tried to calculate a comfortable distance between you. His hand looked ready to either hold yours or lower to your thigh, but he retracted at the last second, smoothing it over his own leg anxiously and still clearly itching to make a move. You shuffled closer to him until your thighs barely touched, and he shifted to slink an arm around you, letting your head rest on his well-muscled shoulder. After pressing “play”, he began wiggling slightly again, subconsciously grooving to the old-newspaper-style intro. Spike Spiegel appeared on the screen, his broad shoulders squared into a slouch as he listlessly watched TV. Jungkook kicked one leg over another and stretched his arms out symmetrically to echo the pose. Raising an eyebrow, he waited until you acknowledged him with a faux grimace and a hand to your ear, imitating the old man in a lab who’d just called up Spike for a new mission. You both burst into laughter and settled back into your former arrangement, Jungkook holding you imperceptibly tighter. Though you tried to stay staring straight ahead, wanting to genuinely appreciate the anime, you kept catching his doe eyes in the corner of your sight as you both giggled and gasped your way through the episode.
After avoiding eye contact too many times, you finally tilted your head for a cute sideways view of his face. He leaned toward you too, shyly closing the gap to touch his warm lips to your nose, then lower. You responded immediately, rolling your body with his so your chests met as he pulled you up into a full, deeper kiss. The longer you explored each other's mouths, the more Jungkook punctuated your movements with whimpers. He seemed hesitant to let his hands roam away from your face and neck, but his high, breathy moans made it clear that he was just as into this as you. Your hands had naturally found his taut waist, and at some point you started to bring them back up to his face too—but as your short nails grazed his chest, a particularly sensual, voice-cracking moan interrupted you. You drew back in slight surprise, blinking your eyes open to scan from his face to his body.
He followed your gaze, both slowly settling on the massive tent in his pants. You froze. Your breath grew heavier, confronted with evidence of his physical attraction to you, if nothing else. After regaining his composure, he laid a useless hand over his lap in a delicate attempt to distract you and brought his other hand up to tap your face lightly.
"Is this okay?"
His eyes glittered with equal parts hunger and concern.
"Yes!" you nodded, too quickly, too eagerly. "Yes, this is totally okay. Sorry if I'm being weird, I just...it's been a while." You cringed internally at your own words, but couldn't seem to avoid putting your foot further in your mouth. "I haven't really, like, hooked up like this before—like, I've had sex, but never really outside of a relationship. But don't worry, I get this is more your thing, and I'm totally down if you are. I just don't really know what I'm doing, and you clearly do."
Jungkook blinked at your admission, then his face twisted into something curious, inscrutable. Would he decide you weren't worth the potential for drama? His lips flattened out to a tight line, then pursed to speak, and you looked down at your lap, hoping he wasn't as embarrassed of you as you now were of yourself.
"Well, I've never had sex sober."
Your eyes flashed back up to his. A complex half-smirk offset the furrow in his brow as he exhaled in nervous relief. "So, I don't actually know what I'm doing here either."
You tried to delay your response as you processed the implications. "You mean..." You tilted your head for better eye contact, hoping to convey empathy but not pity while you silently contemplated how to proceed. "Never?"
"Yeah, I've always shown up to parties and the hookups just...happened. Nothing I didn't want, nothing bad like that, but always spontaneous. So I guess we're kind of meeting in the middle, because I've never really had to plan ahead for a situation like this and, uh, figure out what I want. Beyond, yknow, wanting to get laid in the moment, of course." Jungkook laughed off the end of his explanation, but the smile never quite hit his eyes.
"Well, okay, let's pause right there." You sighed. Something in his words didn't sit right with you. "What do you want? I want you to be sure about this, of course, but more than that, even—what do you like?"
"I..." he chuckled, sheepish, shaking his hair over his face again. "What, you want me to just tell you? Like, what I'm into?"
"Yeah," you shrugged, trying to project more confidence than you felt in hopes of encouraging him to keep opening up. "I want you to be able to communicate, I want you to be comfortable. And I want to know what you like, so I can make it as good for you as possible."
With your hands still laid flat on his chest, you felt his heart rate jump a tiny bit, and took the liberty of digging your nails in just slightly deeper. His breath caught him, and then he caught himself. "I don't know, I just want what you want."
Jungkook struggled to appear nonchalant as you rolled your eyes with an "Oh, come on," challenging his avoidance. Every instinct was telling him yes. He could hear his mind screaming at him to be intentional for once and let you take him, if not farther, then deeper than ever before. But he still hesitated, because being intentional in this case required him to be real. He had always been a fairly private person, but something about you made him feel so comfortable so fast that it counterintuitively made him more nervous. Of course Jungkook knew you weren't all innocent at this point, but the risk remained that you wouldn't really be down for everything he secretly wanted to explore. Even worse, though he didn't truly think you would, you could easily turn around and spin anything he revealed into yet another graphic rumor. Especially since you had no skin in the game yourself. He glanced down at your fingers, tensed into his chest, and narrowed his eyes.
"Why don't you tell me what you like first? And then I can tell you where we overlap," he grinned competitively. Your eyes widened as he tossed the challenge back your way. Not backing down, you flattened your hands and steeled yourself to settle the stakes.
"Fine—but only if you promise not to just go along with whatever I say. I'll let you know anything that's a hard no for me, but otherwise I want to hear at least one thing that's not on my list. I really do want what you want, that's how I am too, okay? So..." you paused to slide your fingertips over his collar and drag it down with a light scratch, now directly on his skin. You smiled with your eyes, enjoying the way he naturally responded with a hitch of his breath again. "Surely you can think of something specific."
He nodded quickly, before he could convince himself to back out. "Yeah. Promise."
"Okay," you confirmed, slightly nervous but determined to go through with this, for Jungkook's sake if anything. Seeing his body come alive with each new twist of the situation was building your curiosity, not to mention turning you on beyond belief. You could barely stand the warmth of his skin under your hands, so you drew them back to fold in your lap as you began. "So. Uh. To start. I've never really laid it all out like this either. I really like neck kisses? Like, a lot." Equally unused to this kind of directness, you wrung your hands together nervously, but sucked up the boldness to keep elaborating. "That's definitely, like, a big thing that turns me on...and then getting marked up and everything is really hot to me too. Like you can honestly go really rough with me on that, bite me even. I don't know if this is weird but even though it's annoying to cover up, I love taking off the makeup at the end of the day and seeing all the bruises on myself. Knowing I was walking around all day with that as my little secret." You swallowed shyly before continuing, but Jungkook interrupted the brief silence immediately with a hushed "Fuck."
You turned to face him fully and he didn't even move to meet your stare, eyeing the space above your sweatshirt's wide neckline like he was ready to devour you. Emboldened, your smile grew.
"So...yeah. I like being bitten, marked up. Mostly, uh," you rubbed a slightly trembling hand over your shoulder, "I'm just really into pain in general. Obviously not the bad 'I'm too dry and you're jackhammering me' kind of pain, or like, anal. Anal is a hard no. But things like biting, or hair pulling, or overstimulation. Or, like—I don't really know how to explain this, but...getting held too hard? That deep pain like when you get a massage when you're sore and it hurts but it's good, yknow?"
Jungkook looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin, breathing shallow and rapid. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, just in time for you to whisper in conclusion:
"I love that feeling."
You suddenly looked away, reticent. A thick silence swelled between you, until he composed himself enough to punctuate it. "Okay. Yeah. Pain. So like, BDSM?"
"I mean, kind of? Sure? I don't have much experience with that and I don't really need the whole power dynamic aspect; I just like the, uh, physical pain. I wouldn't be opposed to trying further, but one thing I do know is I really don't like being degraded. And I'm not into the whole daddy kink thing either. I'm just not gonna call you that, sorry," you laughed, and fortunately he giggled too. "But I know that's not, like, necessary to the rest of BDSM, and the part about giving up control is still...interesting, for sure."
"Wait," Jungkook cocked his head, making a mental note of your last sentence before he went back to the previous one. "What do you mean, being degraded?"
You half-chuckled, half-cringed, never having needed to explain something like this, especially to a guy you hopefully were about to fuck. Cheers to better communication, you supposed.
"You know, how some people when they do dirty talk are like 'yeah, you little slut, you're such a whore.' I don't like being called any of that. Like it's fine that other people like it, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just really uncomfortable for me."
His brows knit together as you explained, and he shook his head so fast it almost looked cartoonish, like a little kid refusing vegetables. "Yeah, no. Don't worry, not really my thing either."
You sighed in relief. "That's nice. I feel like it's, like, weirdly common with guys. Maybe just the kind of thing people learn from porn."
"But you still like it rough, huh? Did you learn that...from porn?" he half-joked, trying to overcome both his shyness and his gritted-teeth arousal.
"No, I don’t like porn. Most of it’s really unethical. I learned from experience," you sassed back. "I don't have a whole lot, but enough to know what I like."
"Well. Hm." He worked his tongue over his teeth, poking one cheek out over his tensed jaw. You couldn't get enough of watching him grow fascinated by your every revelation, and you were preparing to keep pressing further when he beat you to it, posing a question. "Is there anything you haven't tried before, but really want to?"
Your face heated up instantly, tasting your own medicine. You looked back to your hands, breaking his intense eye contact to give yourself the courage to be even more uncomfortably honest. "I...I...um." Your first attempt at disclosing your fantasy came out as a squeak. Swallowing, you set your shoulders and tried again, selfishly reminding yourself Jungkook seemed so eager to please that this was 99% likely to get you exactly what you wanted. "I've always been, uh, really into the idea of, um, getting spanked. I've been, uh, too nervous to ever bring it up, before now obviously, but it's definitely one of the biggest kinks I've always wanted to try. Maybe being tied up too, I think I'd like it if I tried but I haven't thought about that as much. But, yeah...spanking, definitely."
"Fuuuuuuuuck."
A lengthened version of Jungkook's earlier under-breath exclamation made you peer up at him. Your thighs already pressed together from the tension of admitting something totally new, you found yourself needing even more friction just from the sight of Jungkook with his head thrown back on the couch, a veiny hand threaded in his hair to pull the long waves back from his forehead. The full reveal of his sharp eyebrows brought a whole new level of intensity to Jungkook's already beautifully carved features. He glanced over at you, then squeezed his eyes shut with a terse exhale. You couldn't place why, but you felt a deep attraction to the way he expertly restrained himself from acting on the lust written over his face—not under your control, but his own.
"Oh, fuck. What the fuck. How the fuck would you fucking know," he swore more in a single burst than he cumulatively had ever in your presence.
"What?" you toyed, heart rate still high but relaxed enough to enjoy agitating him. "Something ring a bell?"
Jungkook shuddered out a long breath, hand ruffling his hair as his other forearm still tried desperately to subdue his boner.
"Everything," he hissed, more willing to elaborate now that you had done the same, and especially now that he could tell you really did enjoy him being more assertive. "Shit. I...I want...I know you said not to just say this but I really do want everything you want. I can't wait to mark you up. I can't wait to hold you down and bruise your neck. I want it all, I want to make you hurt so good. And then—" Breathless. He looked almost embarrassed. "Then you had to go and somehow guess basically my biggest fucking kink, I can't fucking believe you." Both hands had come up to seize his long locks as he held himself back physically, while finally letting his guard down mentally to declare everything he intended to do to you. Letting out a short laugh, he finally met your eyes. "I wanna spank your ass bright red. Fuck. This is crazy. You're perfect."
Your core throbbed at every bold word. Leaning in close to him, you let your lips approach Jungkook's beautifully sculpted jawline as he panted, his chin tossed up to fully expose his neck. You stopped just short of his skin, in awe of how much you'd been able to work him up and still so tempted to take it to the next level. "Fuck," you echoed. "This is so hot," you murmured almost to yourself. Your eyes closing along with his, you dealt the final blow. "I love that we have so much in common. But come on, you promised. One thing that's not on my list."
Jungkook whined. You could tell he needed to touch you so badly, and no one was stopping him but himself. He had no way of knowing that if he cut the whole discussion and just took you, you wouldn't even try to resist at this point. Staring at his trembling mouth from below, you quickly averted your eyes when he opened his, pretending you hadn't been looking. He inhaled a short hiss, and then spoke.
"Okay..." He paused after just the first word, blowing air through the tiny "o" of his mouth as his eyes bugged slightly from nervousness. He couldn't resist a challenge, though, and his urge to please you overwhelmed his reluctance to peel back one more layer. "So, the pain thing. I think we, uh, feel the same about me giving and you receiving. But...I'm really into it for myself too. I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, I know you maybe want me to be more dominant and I think I like that more too in general, but you can be as rough with me as you want back. I'd love that." Eyes still open but fluttering, Jungkook's tone grew breathier, heady as he confessed. You almost giggled at how bashfully he worded his desire to dominate you, to rough each other up, but the contrast was so hot you couldn't help sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, eager for him to continue. His voice lowered. "I love being scratched, marked, bitten...hit me, push me back, any kind of pain or any way you can hurt me, I want it." He shivered, but his voice firmed up even further. "I want it so bad."
You fought to stay motionless beside him, unable to even process how much more his honesty had turned you on. You felt helpless in your desire for him, your craving to give him everything he wanted and more. He noticed your charged stillness and shifted toward you, removing a hand from his hair to finally reach for your face. Threading his fingers through your hair instinctively like he had with his own, he tilted your head back to access your neck. Jungkook finally felt confident enough to tease you back as he skimmed his lips over your pulse point, tugging your skin between his teeth for a gentle first taste and grinning when you moaned. Seeing someone so satisfied, for reasons better than just his body or their pride, brought the most incredible rush of blood to his head. And his other head.
"And I get why you want it too," he finished with a whisper in your ear. "So trust me when I say I really, really want to give it to you."
In an instant, your hands yanked his hair down to bring his face up to yours, mouths crashing together. Feverish, restless, you kissed him, hastily attempting to straddle his thick thighs before he threw his body over yours and pinned you to the back of the couch. His hands wandered, intrepid, from your waist to a quick squeeze of your breasts before he spiraled you into his strong arms. Pressing your chest flush with his as your mouths meshed, he ground his hips into you shamelessly, enjoying the way you struggled beneath him to align your core with his rock-hard dick.
"Your room?" You rushed out the words.
Jungkook laughed a little, his tone half whine and half dare. "So we're done talking?"
"Come on," you pleaded back. He finally relented, pulling you up with him and dragging you across the living room and through his door, lips not leaving yours for a second. You backed him into the bed with your arms against his strong chest, and once he was sitting perched on the edge, you laid yourself horizontally over his thighs.
"What are you doing?" he murmured, curling a hand over the dip of your waist to hold you gently.
You angled your head back to make unsteady eye contact with him, flipping your shorts down boldly. His free hand automatically reached to slowly conform to the shape of your ass, so eager to touch you but tentative as he grazed your curves.
"Giving you exactly what you want."
"Fuck. Really? You're sure about this?" Jungkook held careful eye contact as you brought your arms back up, crossing your wrists over your head delicately. You nodded slightly and did your best to meet his gaze with confident invitation, convincing him how much you trusted and wanted him.
He smoothed his warm hand over your ass one more time, then brought it up and watched your thighs tighten at the loss of his touch. Breathing in, still a little shakily, he brought his hand down on your right cheek with a loud but mild smack. A grunt of satisfaction involuntarily left him when he saw your face flinch down into the sheets, subduing a small noise of surprise. He returned his hand to caress the light redness he'd left, checking in with you again. "Is this okay? Let me know if I should stop."
You replied with your face still tucked between your arms, muffled by the bed. "More than okay. Please don't stop."
He spanked you again, moving to your left cheek. This time you felt his dick twitch under you and couldn't help grinding down on him a little bit. "Is that as hard as you can go?" you taunted in low tones, brave enough to egg him on but not quite enough to meet his eyes again.
Jungkook's thighs and core tensed under you, and he squeezed his fingertips tighter, digging into the skin of your ass. "Not at all," he said simply.
Deep breath. A few seconds passed, and his hand came down, harshly. You cried out in shock, the timing unexpected and the sting far sharper, and he gave your other cheek a fourth hard smack before you could even process the third one. "Harder?" he tested. "Tell me."
Another spank. "Mmmf."
"You like this, huh?"
"Yes, I told you," you whimpered back, half-teasing even though you were in no position to do so. Immediately, he cut you off with a stinging hit across both cheeks, and you moaned.
"You really do," he breathed lowly. "Fuck yeah. Take it then."
He spanked you again, and again, then paused, tugging down your shorts all the way to your ankles to expose the crease right above your thighs. Rubbing your already sore bottom, Jungkook cupped the underside of its curve in his big, firm hand. Already anticipating your whine, he drew back his touch and hummed in harmony with you. He continued landing satisfyingly hard smacks, alternating to cover your ass evenly. His dick strained through his pants more and more each time you trembled under his touch. Never hitting you hard enough to do serious damage, he still clearly enjoyed his thorough reddening of your ass, and occasionally took a moment just to caress your skin as it warmed from the spanking. The pain lit your senses up from head to toe. Face burning with deep arousal, you mentally thanked yourself for going out of your comfort zone and unprecedentedly admitting your kinks before even venturing into your first time together. Amidst the thrilling sting of his hand meeting your soft curves, Jungkook eventually noticed your thighs clenching together, craving friction but not really wanting relief from the pleasurable burn.
"You're wet," he marveled, sliding two warm fingers up and down your slit.
"Mhm," you mumbled back as you tilted your hips into his hand. He gave you a light slap right on the folds between your legs, eliciting another soft moan.
"So good for me," Jungkook said softly, pulling you up into his lap by your waist. "You look so pretty like this. I wanna see all of you." He tugged your sweatshirt over your head, followed by your sports bra, thankful that it stretched over your head easily. Suddenly grinning, he wound up and shot it across the room like a rubber band, and you smacked his arm, giggling.
"What was that? You cheeseball," you teased, and he blinked, chuckling lightly back. It occurred to him that he'd never laughed, or made someone laugh, during sex before.
"It was so stretchy! Don't make fun of me," he blushed.
"You're so cute," you said, fingers sliding under his t-shirt hem.
"Cute?" His eyebrows rose in mock disbelief, and he reached around to land another hit to your still-red asscheek.
"Hot," you amended. Raising his shirt and finally getting a full glimpse of his enviable abs, you groaned. "You're extremely hot, and also really cute, and it's kind of ridiculous and I don't really know how to handle all of it at once."
His face scrunching up into a smile at the praise, he fell back onto the bed with his arms behind his head. "You are too, you know. Really cute, of course. But really hot too." As you discarded his shirt and moved on to easing his sweatpants down his hips, you held in a gasp as his erection sprung up from the waistband. He was big, thick, and painfully hard, his tip glistening warm with precum and a lone vein running prominently up his smooth shaft. Although you wouldn't be corroborating them, you had to admit to yourself that all the rumors were true. You instinctively curled a hand around it, barely covering half his length, and he winced at your slightest touch. Pulling off with a single slow stroke, you slid his sweatpants and briefs all the way to the floor and then stood, looking up from his legs to his blown-out eyes to take in the glorious sight of his fully naked body.
"You shave," you said, surprised by the clean skin under his arms and between his legs.
"Yeah," he demurred, self-conscious for some reason. He lowered his arms to fold them over his torso, somehow defining his biceps even more. "I'm on the dance team, and it's nice to feel all smooth for practice and stuff. I don't know, I just like it."
"Oh, that's cool! No worries, I like it too. And you don't mind that..." You looked down at yourself, still just standing naked in front of him. "...I don't? Like, down there at least."
"No, you do you!" he said quickly. With a shy smile, he admitted, "I actually kind of like it on you. I do this for me, anyway, not for anyone else," he playfully noted. Slowly, he was sitting up to take hold of your waist and lower you down to the bed with him. Pausing to kiss the sweet spot under your jaw, he continued. "So don't feel like you have to do anything, or not do anything, either."
Jungkook couldn't quite explain the nature of how his attraction to you had developed. Seeing how open and honest you were with him made it easy for him to be honest with you too, and just to feel comfortable being himself. He admired the way he could still tell you sometimes got nervous like him, but it didn’t stop you from getting real or going bolder. Unable to fully express it in words, he just hoped to ensure you felt as comfortable and respected around him as he did around you. He already knew that he wanted this to be more than just a one-time thing, and while he still hesitated to assume that you felt the same, he intended to leave no doubt by the end of the night.
You moaned as he nipped at the skin of your neck. It was so easy to get swept back up in Jungkook. You could barely handle the friction of his dick rutting against your wet folds from below, craving him inside you. "Ughhh. Wait, one more thing. I'm on the pill, are you clean?"
"Yes," he gasped, barely removing his mouth from your jaw. "Are you?"
"Yeah, so we don't need a condom. If that's cool with you!"
"Yeah! But, you're ready?" He seemed surprised.
"Aren't you?" you whined, beyond holding back. He felt so unbearably hard that his coherence and willpower kind of surprised you too. "Please, I want you so bad."
To your surprise, he lowered his head to the crest of your legs, dotting wet kisses down your torso. Keeping his big brown eyes on you, he teased your entrance with a finger and echoed your immediate groan at the welcome stretch.
"You really are ready," he remarked, awed at the ease with which your wetness sucked the digit in. Frankly, you were in awe as well. It had taken your ex-boyfriend months to figure out how to get you this worked up. Jungkook either had even more experience than you'd heard from the grapevine, or he was a natural. Or maybe you were just really, ridiculously, primally attracted to him. He went on to curve his finger in you and lick a messy swipe up your folds, sucking hard once he reached your sensitive clit. You cried out at the delicious burst of stimulation and he rose up to catch your lips with his.
"I had to do that, just once," he grinned breathlessly. "But—"
"Let me suck you off," you interjected, unbelievably fucking turned on and dying to please him.
"No," he gasped with far more fervency than you'd think anyone could refuse a blowjob. "Please, I was about to say—" he choked out a high-pitched moan as you ran a single finger up his shaft in anticipation, sinking the nails of your other hand into his thigh. "—I think I'm gonna explode if I don't get inside you right this second."
So he did have a breaking point. "Fuck," you muttered, bringing your legs around his to tuck your heels under his tight ass as he lined up. He eased his tip in, keeping heavy eyes on you the whole time, and you could feel the hot, thick tension in his thighs as he struggled to hold himself back from just thrusting into your heat. Slowly, he drew closer into you until he bottomed out with a low moan. You whined at the perfect slight pain of the stretch, and Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, gripping you by your waist. Watching the veins in his forearms stand out as he drove almost all the way out and back into you, you rocked your hips carefully against his with each smooth stroke, getting used to his fullness. When his balls met your ass again, he shuddered a bit and opened his eyes into yours.
You answered his question before he could even ask it. "Jungkook—you feel so good. You can go faster, it's okay."
A smile hit his eyes before his mouth, and he kissed you once, pressing his chest to yours and intertwining your tongues eagerly. You bit his bottom lip as he slowly drew away, tugging it between your teeth to pull a sweet little whimper from his throat. Grinning, he leaned back in to touch his forehead to yours and simultaneously slid a subtle hand under your ass to curve your hips up with his. The slight leftover sensitivity of your skin amplified his light touch, and Jungkook seemed to realize this, curling his fingers to tease you with the tips of his nails. Instinctively, you ducked to bite his neck, not even registering your move to pass the pain back to him until he choked out a beautifully half-restrained moan and snapped his hips into yours. Gasping, you encouraged him to lose himself in you, dragging your lips up to latch around his earlobe. He hissed and thrust into you sharply again, meeting the time of your movements as you swirled your tongue between each of his hoop earrings. Soon he was pounding you rhythmically, finally letting you feel the full force of his strength but keeping remarkable control over both his body and yours. Both of you had gone silent except for your heavy breaths, lost in the moment, but the flexed shivers of his thighs and twitches of his fingers in your hair told you all you needed to know. Suddenly yanking your strands to pull you back from the additional bruise you'd sucked beneath his ear, he earned a new set of scratches on his back as your hands dragged down the muscular expanse in reply. Jungkook switched places with you to draw dark clouds from your skin, a storm brewing under your jaw. Your face fell into pure bliss, eyes shut and immersed in the barrage of sensation from his hands, mouth, and big dick filling you. Already feeling the familiar tension that preceded an orgasm building through your whole body, you chased him closer to his climax too, grinding back roughly into every thrust and raking your hands over every part of his firm body you could reach.
You had really been fooling yourself when you thought you could try something casual for once. You wanted more of Jungkook, all of Jungkook, nothing but Jungkook ever again. Knowing he'd never even gone back to the same hookup twice sank slight anxiety into your stomach, a kind of future nostalgia for this moment you already feared losing. You knew you weren't anything special compared to the catalogue of gorgeous girls he'd had his turn with, but a deviant voice whispered from the back of your mind that you could be, because it was clear none had bothered to learn him like this. You'd still try your desperate best not to want too much from him, but you resolved to do whatever you could to make him crave more.
Rolling your hips in a smooth circle against him, you clenched around his dick and your hands tightened their fierce hold on his tiny waist. You felt his abs tense within your grasp as he tried not to stutter into you.
"Fuck. No." His voice cracked, but held an undertone of ferocity. "You come first." Jungkook rushed a hand to your clit, adding pressure in small, deft motions with a fingertip as he kept fucking you deep. You sank your teeth into his shoulder in response, drawing your hands up his back to clutch him closer to you, and Jungkook cried out. You left your mouth on his golden skin to stifle your moans as he sped up his fingers, and he tried to let you stay there but eventually couldn't help pulling you off him to see your face. Eyes narrowed and eyebrows turning up sharp at the ends, he watched you like a hawk to track the exact moment when he pushed you over the edge. Your face crumpled and you felt your whole body burn under his gaze as you came, squeezing around him in waves of pleasure while he fucked you through your high, unrelenting. Drinking up the bliss obvious on your features, Jungkook's eyes never left yours and his expression grew more and more fucked out. You marveled at how even as you lost control and energy to fuck him back, your body freezing in orgasm seemed to turn him on further. One last pulse of the tension leaving your core made his dick throb inside you, and you impulsively broke your eye contact to lean in and bite down slow but hard on his neck again. He gasped.
"You're amazing." Murmuring into his skin, you kissed the bite marks gently. Jungkook whimpered at the sweet contradiction and lurched into your hips even harder. You recovered to move with him, squeezing him deeper into you every time he bottomed out, and as his breathless moans escalated in pitch, his whole body shivered with each stroke. Pressing wet, heavy kisses all over his neck, you felt his jaw flutter while his lips hung open. His considerable strength spent, Jungkook shuddered one last hard thrust into you and finally let go, coating your walls from within. His hips lightly rocked against yours as he stayed deep inside you, still hard and savoring the euphoric release he'd held back for so long. You felt so incredibly warm and comfortable around his sensitive dick, relaxed but still holding him tight, and he couldn't help holding you up for a languid kiss before pulling out of you smoothly.
He briefly looked into your eyes, and you saw stars. The sun had continued to set outside, and it peeked between the blinds of his window to wrap you both in a warm, slivered glow. Staring down at his hands on your body, Jungkook took a deep breath and collapsed to your side, holding you close. You settled into him, cupping a hand over his head on your chest. With your fingers laced through his sweaty hair, you stroked his temple with your thumb, worrying for a second whether the gesture seemed too intimate but forgetting your fear when he snuggled up into your touch. You felt the need to say something, to figure out what the fuck was next after this, but stayed silent, not wanting to disturb the comforting weight of his frame. Heartbeat still racing, Jungkook stretched out to breathe a long sigh. As he sank back into you, you stretched under him too, letting his solid, warm body drape over you like a blanket. This couldn't be farther from what you'd expected with him, but you weren't about to make it stop. Surely, eventually, he would.
A minute passed. And then five. And then, before either of you could talk yourselves out of it, you were asleep, intertwined.
#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader smut#bts smut#bts fic#bts fanfic#college!jungkook#college au!jungkook#bts college au#jungkook#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#my writing#fic: anti-hero#anti-hero#anti hero
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my thoughts on worlds end club, under the cut because it’ll probably be long and also spoilers
so i bought the game today at around 9am and played it until i beat it at around 11:30pm ish? so ha uh yeah it took a little while but i was very enthralled in the story
the story and characters are hands down the best part of the game. compared to literally any of the danganronpa games, i like the cast of characters so much more. like there’s always one or two in a danganronpa games group that i just don’t like but in wec i loved all of them. i’d usually dislike chuko’s tsundere character type but i actually ended up liking her. my least favorite is probably dragon power ranger kid whatshisname but i don’t hate him or anything i just found him to be the weakest character tbh. but i do really like his character design
speaking of the character designs OOF they’re all so good. i didn’t realize until looking up stuff on the characters but they’re all based on the animals of the Chinese zodiac which is cool and the design elements are subtle and it’s not narratively important but i mean they didn’t need to be. there’s a few offhand remarks here and there like comparing kansai to a tiger and chuko to a rat but they’re not really shoved in your face which is nice
oh also i wanna compliment pai in particular. she’s the boar character which first of all i feel like people would usually make male, and if they made her female, then she would be angry and stubborn and probably not conventionally attractive but she’s not any of those! also she’s a little heavier than the rest of the girls which 1. makes her even more adorable, and 2. no one in the game brings up or makes fun of her for which is nice. mowchan sadly didn’t get exactly the same treatment he was still the fat comic relief character. he deserved so much better.
the art is all so pretty as well like i already loved the art style from pokemon and in wec it’s even more exaggerated and i live for it. i also like the movie they’re watching at the beginning has more realistic humans that’s just kinda funny.
the humor is pretty good i guess but what i’m really here for is the fun childish but realistic portrayal of friendship and emotions like it does kinda take me back to my own little group of friends in elementary school, where sometimes there would be disagreements, but we were still always friends
i loved reicho as a canonically mute protag and how none of his friends ever minded or even brought it up like that’s so cute. but the reveal that reicho was basically just a big puppet kinda just made it feel a little different... like idk how to explain it but yeah
ANYWAY here’s my obligatory paragraph about pochi because he’s my son now. the writers knew what they were doing by making him a kinda shy gamer kid bc they knew people were gonna relate to him even when he had a somewhat smaller role in the story before turning into the full fledged protagonist. anyway this robot puppy boy is my son i will protect him
the scene where pochi basically gets dunked on by the rest of the team is weird to me like idk it just feels out of character for most of them to be like lol yeah pochis useless RIGHT after he drove an entire train to one of the specific places that those special mushrooms grow and now they can all see vanilla
also kinda unrelated but this is my second game in the past few months where i correctly guessed one of the characters was voiced by megumi ogata because dang i just love her voice. this time it was pochi and the other one was the protag in the famicom detective club games. i legit heard one line and was like HOL UP and googled it lmao
i’m still confused on why the story takes place in the 90s. it doesn’t have a particularly 90s aesthetic and most of the technology just doesn’t match up with 90s tech. like i feel like it works better if it takes place more near present day. if there’s more cultural reasons then i’m not sure what they are but i’m really curious about this. the game is very reliant on japanese culture and locations, which isn’t a bad thing but i’m an ignorant american who was also born after the 90s so im wondering if there’s some specific reason why it’s SPECIFICALLY 90s japan
oh yeah i haven’t even talked about the gameplay yet. it’s.... shitty. maybe i’m a little biased because i’m not a big platformer girl but even so it’s just not.... good...... i kinda got myself soft locked one time because a big snowman guy was blocking my way and i had no way to kill him or get around him, luckily you can just restart from your last checkpoint but still. some of the special abilities/attacks just didn’t feel that good to use, like dragon boi’s and chuko’s felt too short range at times and jennu’s and aniki’s felt a little too slow. the rest were fine i guess. the only one i felt like was done well was kansai’s.
i played on easy mode cuz it was the default one that was highlighted and idk if it effects the platforming sections or the “puzzles” but the puzzles were way too easy. most of them just felt like they were checking that you paid basic attention to the story. the ones at the end are somewhat harder but i still didn’t have any problems with them. the stuff the outright tell you would have mad better puzzles like the xxy thing but at the same time were you even supposed to realize that? the otherworlder aka you i guess says it like no big deal but like i guess the middle x looked slightly different? but not enough to be like OH OBVIOUSLY ITS X TIMES Y. on the flipside i solved the heaven map puzzle before i even had all of the pieces. i guess i have to give it some slack though because it would probably be a bit harder if you didn’t really know english kinda like the danganronpa 11037 thing
also am i just stupid or how were you supposed to know the year the phone displayed was the y number in that puzzle? i forgot to get it before trying to solve the puzzle so i knew it corresponded to the y because it was the only clue i didn’t have so i didn’t have to think about it that hard but like did the phone have something to do with the letter y or was it just like a what clue haven’t i used kinda thing
anyway apologies for the super long post if you read the whole thing then wow thanks i guess? anyway in conclusion pochi is my son
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asking daisies and the art of faking
woozi x reader
word count: ~ 2500 warnings: some vague talking about sex a/n: part of the morning after shuffle; sometimes i wonder why you guys let me get away with writing lmao
You’ve never really been a heavy sleeper. It had been quite an obstacle to overcome when you’d first moved into your downtown apartment. Sirens and faded thumps of basslines from bars eventually became like white noise. Strangers shouting on the sidewalk sometimes sound like they’re trying to get your attention specifically. Even with your bedroom window shut. And experience had shown it rare for anyone to be able to sneak out of your bed without you rousing in the process.
A dip in the mattress and a rush of cooler air, and you’re awake. You don’t move much; unaware of the time and unwilling to accept that you could possibly need to get up already. But you listen to Jihoon’s footfalls on your bedroom floor and the barely there rustles of him pulling on clothes again.
It isn’t until you hear him leave the room that you roll over in bed and stare at the empty spot he left beside you.
Your mind drifts back to any number of times this has happened before with different men. There were always variables on what hour they would slink out at. And whether you caught them at the door, and whether you wished they would stay. You’d gotten used to falling asleep with company and waking up alone. Still, it isn’t something you’d expected to happen with Jihoon.
Spending a night with a boyfriend was supposed to be different, you’d thought.
You push the sheets down and swing your legs off the side of the mattress. When you leave the bedroom, you find him crouched near the door, finishing tying up his shoes.
“Morning?” You do little to prevent your voice from sounding as puzzled as you feel. He lifts his head and smiles. It isn’t the smile you’ve come to expect from him over the weeks since you’ve started dating. It’s more reminiscent of when you’d first met, when he’d been hesitant and short on things to say.
“I was gonna go for a run,” he jumps straight into explanation. It’s part of his morning routine. He doesn’t need to tell you that. Nonetheless, it takes you by surprise. Does it make you clingy if you’d wanted this morning to be a change from his usual?
“Okay,” you try to hide disappointment. “Are you coming back after…?” His apartment building is only around the corner from your own. If it were any further, you would’ve restrained yourself from asking that much too.
“I could.” He stands up, and adjusts the cap on his head. “If you want me to.”
“You’re always welcome here.”
His smile is almost comforting at that. But he leaves without coming any closer to you.
The moment the door clicks shut, you let out a long sigh.
You drag your feet back into your bedroom to find your phone. Which of your friends do you possibly ask about this? How do you even word how you’re feeling now? Are you even sure there’s a problem to go texting about?
Well, yes. There must be. Hollowness is one thing after a good one night stand. It’s a different being in love. Surely, this part should feel better. Your thumb hovers over Chaewon’s name in your recent messages for a moment before you end up clicking out and locking your screen.
A bath will help, you decide. The tiled floor is cold, and the sensation is somewhat grounding. Things are different with Jihoon. Whatever experience you have under your belt, relationships are still new territory. Maybe he didn’t know any better than you did what a couple’s first morning after was supposed to look like.
You shake your hand dry after testing the temperature of the running water. The sound of the faucet’s heavy stream hitting the ceramic of the tub is a welcome change from the silence he’s left behind in the apartment.
While the water level rises, you slip slowly out of pajamas. Taking this as a moment to get a look at yourself. There’s splotches from kisses he’s gotten too intense with at your collarbones and at the top of your thighs. A single one sits near your left hip as well. Your fingers brush over that well-intentioned bruise. The memory of his half-clumsy kisses brings a lightness back to your chest.
You try not to think too much once you sink into the bath. It’s hard to keep your mind quiet for long, though.
Last night was good, you insist. He’d been sweet, and eager, if brief -- and so odd in your brief exchange this morning. You take a breath and plunge your head under the water.
The bath gets chilly before you manage to come to any kind of solution.
Once you dry off and pull on some clean house clothes, you send a text to Chaewon.
‘Jihoon stayed over last night.’ You keep it simple. Vague. You don’t even know if she’s awake or if she’s busy. You can spare her from jumping straight into a total barrage of your worries, at least.
You set the phone down on your dining table and sink into one of the accompanying chairs. Arms fold atop the surface for you to rest your chin on. When you sigh, you wonder just how many times you’ve done that this morning. You look at the black, shiny screen of your phone and will it to light up with a message. From Chaewon or Jihoon. You’re not too picky which.
Your eyes lift from the screen to vase of daisies in the center of your table. Cue your nth sigh of the day.
You’re not sure how he goes from bringing flowers last night to seeming so distant this morning. You wonder if he’ll dump me; he’ll dump me not has been played before while picking petals.
Do people break up over one night of bad sex?
You fingers itch to google it. Thankfully, your text tone interrupts that train of thought just in time.
‘How was it?’ Chaewon has asked.
Perhaps the last question you wanted to be asked. ‘Fine,’ you type out the denial easily, ‘but he took off really early.’
Only a minute later, she replies: ‘What’d he say?’
‘He wanted to go for a run’
‘Weird’
Her one word response makes you sink further down in your seat.
‘Do you want to do brunch?’ she follows up. The standby cure-all for disastrous dates and small heartbreaks that came with guys sneaking out when you thought there had been a spark. You don’t think Jihoon counts as either. Not really.
‘I’m okay,’ you text back.
Chaewon knows you well, though. Maybe you ought to ask her how you feel about this all, since she gives the impression of having a better grasp on it than you when she messages, ‘Call me if you wanna talk’
Instead, you seek distraction, and ask what she got up to last night. She must understand that selfish bit behind your question, because you starts giving you long stories of what she’d done.
She’s gotten through three and your hair is just barely damp when there’s a knock at your door.
When you open it up, you find Jihoon in a change of clothing and with an iced coffee in either hand. Only one is still entirely full though. “You didn’t go get any while I was out, did you?” he asks as he holds out that cup to you.
He sounds like himself again. For a second, you think that perhaps everything can just be fixed if you pretend nothing had happened. Maybe nothing had happened, and you’d just felt as if it had.
Except a feeling is something.
Still, you smile when you take the coffee from him and step aside to let him in. Pushing the door closed once more, you take a sip and wonder what you’re supposed to do now. Whether you carry on with the easiest option or let him know you’ve spent all morning in a tizzy.
You can guess what Chaewon’s advice would be without even having asked her. Perhaps it’s a benefit of just how well you know each other.
“Does this mean we can talk now?” You ask after taking another swallow of coffee.
“About what?” he asks, turning to you.
“Whatever got into you.” It’s easier to bristle than phrase it as your own uncertainty. His expression changes from curious to a bit of a scowl.
“I’m fine.” He sounds more confused than anything else. You have trouble believing you’re really the only one who found anything odd about this morning.
“Jihoon, you pretty much literally ran away this morning.”
He opens his mouth only to decide to take another drink from his straw. Your fingers tighten a fraction around your own cup. You can recognize a stalling tactic. “I feel like we should talk,” you add. It’s the same sentiment you’d expressed before, but you try to make it sound a touch less confrontational. Given how little his face changes, you don’t know how much of a success it is.
“About me leaving?” When he puts it like that, it doesn’t sound like such a big deal. Especially not given the fact that he’d come back. And with coffee for you both, at that.
You set the cup down on your table. “You left like nothing happened last night.” Your tone stays as casual as it can. Wiping your hand against your leg to rid your palm of leftover condensation gives you a good excuse to avoid looking his way as you speak.
Your eyes trail back to him in time to spot the end of his small nod. He looks as if he’d just tasted something new; trying to decide whether or not he liked the flavor or not. It takes a few beats too long to be comfortable for him to reply. “I thought you might want some space.”
That admission doesn’t make things any clearer to you. You’re not even sure if a one night stand had ever cited that as a reason to be heading out early.
“Why’d you think that?”
He shrugs at first. You keep your gaze on him, quietly holding out for something more as an answer. “I don’t know,” Jihoon fills in before the silence can linger too long. You don’t accept it either, though, and look him up and down inquiringly. The quiet urges him to carry on, as if it was what he’d been intending to say from the start, “I don’t know if it was what you expected.”
“I definitely wasn’t expecting you to leave,” you answer.
His feet shuffle in place on the floorboards. “Before, I mean.”
That makes you pause, and not out of some desire to hear more from him. “Well,” you reach out for the cup of iced coffee, wrapping your fingers around the top of lid without lifting it off the table, “It’s not like it was my first time.”
“I know that.” It’d be difficult for Jihoon not to know. You’d never been anything but straightforward with him about your time with him being the slowest you’d ever moved with someone. It had felt strangely refreshing not move straight into sex with someone. Though that was hardly the descriptor you’d choose for it now. “That’s why.”
That’s why? You repeat over inside your head. You go over the line of thought: knowing it wasn’t your first time was why he was feeling unsure. So had he spent the whole night comparing himself to other men you’d never given specifics on?
“Are you trying to ask if I came last night?” You come to your hypothesis.
His expression shifts. A twitch in his eyebrows and an uncertain, downward tug at the corner of his lips. It reads like that question hadn’t quite been the point before, but it certainly had shot up his list now. “Did you?” he asks back.
You inhale sharply and twitch your head to one side. It wasn’t as if you had lied to him last night. At least not as far as having actually told him otherwise.
“I mean…” you begin, voice pitched higher than usual. It’s essentially an answer all on its own. Be honest, a piece of advice flits through your mind. People are supposed to be honest in relationships. “It’s kinda late to ask now, yeah? You know--” and again, your tone pitches upwards. As if you could ascend out of this conversation if you just spoke high enough. “-- don’t worry about it.”
It’s nearly a squeak by the time you finish. And Jihoon looks more and more discouraged with every wincing note you go up. Avoiding a definitive answer was a clear enough answer on it’s own.
“You know, sometimes first times aren’t great,” you rush to salvage the conversation. “It’s fine. We just need to, like, you know, get to know each others’ bodies more. All that.”
He only hums a stiff, low note in reply.
“What, like you’re used to having mind-blowing sex on the first go with someone? Is that it?” You mean for it to be lighthearted. You’re ready to take the brunt of the blame for this; pin yourself as the one who’d made it out like things had been better than they were in the moment. Be the one to promise to be more honest next time.
It doesn’t appear to strike Jihoon that way. He’s the one averting his gaze now.
“I haven’t -- I hadn’t…” He starts, and corrects, and pauses. He looks to you, some part of him desperate for you to fill in the blanks. “...Before last night,” he gives you just a little more to go on, and it clicks into place.
Oh.
Knowing it wasn’t your first time was why he wasn’t sure if he met your expectations. For any of it. Because you were his first. No wonder he hadn’t even gotten around to wondering if you’d faked an orgasm or not before you brought it up. He’d been too busy faking knowing everything he was doing.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“You didn’t really ask.” His answer is more of a mumble.
He’s right. Of course. You’d both confessed about being each other’s first labeled relationship. You’d taken what that implied for granted.
Before you can get into a slump of your own over making assumptions, you re-prioritize.
“Jihoon,” you draw his attention, and smile when his eyes meet yours, “That’s kinda the best news in this scenario.”
He looks as skeptical as you expect.
Your fingers unwind from their anxious grip around the coffee cup and take a few strides towards him. “People learn by doing,” you tell him, “you can really only go up from here.”
“But you--”
You place a hand on his arm and interrupt, “I bet I could be a pretty good teacher.”
Lesson number one turns out to be for both of you: talk a lot more. There’s a world of difference between having a question and asking it.
#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#woozi imagines#lee jihoon x reader#seventeen fanfic#themorningaftershuffle
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1, 2, 9, 11 :)
1. Favourite single(s).
Wow, I guess I’m a fake fan/stupid because I had to google elton john singles??? Immediate thoughts, “It’s me that you need” and “Levon”.
2. Favourite deep cut / album track(s).
Wow pt 2 I had to google what this meant as well, lmao. Google says it’s non-radio singles?? So I guess I’m just gonna list my favorite “non-popular” songs... Probably Tower of Babel, Better Off Dead, I’m Going to be A Teenage Idol and Dear John. There’s many more but . “everything” isn’t a great answer lmao
9. Talk about how you got into his music.
ooh fun!! Okay so I’m assuming that my first real Elton John experience was from the Lion King because I was 4 years old and heavy into it lol. But I count my first memory of him as the first time I heard Daniel. My mom loves that song and as a kid we never listened to “kid’s music”, we always listened to what she liked (which is how I grew up with my fascination with Bob Seger lol) and I distinctly remember hearing it and thinking “wow this is the saddest song I’ve ever heard, I love it”. Fast forward to my teenage years, I was kind of a casual fan in the sense that I knew who he was and some of the hits (crocodile rock, rocketman, don’t go breakin my heart, etc) and when I got my first car it had a cassette player and I went to the thrift store to look for cassette tapes to listen to. Found an Elton john greatest hits tape and bam, that was it, I was hooked. I listened to it so many times that the tape unraveled, lmao. I saw him in concert the first time in 2014 and again in 2016. I was supposed to see the farewell tour in May, thanks rona. Even though I’ve really loved him since about 2008 or so, I still was very much a “Greatest Hits” fan until Rocketman (the movie obviously lol) when I started to dive deeper into his discography thanks to the wonderful stans on here lol.
11. An outfit you love. Doesn’t even have to be stage gear.
Okay, I’m really basic but I love that picture of him where he’s wearing the shirt with the Captain Fantastic cover art on it! It’s my fave album of his and I’m obsessedddd with that cover art, I even bought the puzzle of it :)
Thanks Lauren!! <3
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930.
What may I call you? >> Mordred is fine.
Where are you right now, exactly? >> My bedroom.
Over or under 18? >> I’m over 18.
Have you been watching the Stanley Cup play-offs? (GO BRUINS!) >> No.
Ever believed your house was/is haunted? If yes, why; what happens? >> I lived in a studio in 2009 (my only time living alone) that I suspected had something hanging around. I was the first occupant, though (new building), so it couldn’t have been from a former resident, and I have no idea how else it could have accrued a haunting. Unless the site itself was haunted, I guess. I have no idea what kind of land the building was built on.
The building you live inside; how long ago was it built? >> According to the google search I just did, it was built in 1987, which makes me the same age as the building I live in.
Ever travel internationally? >> No.
If you could go anywhere RIGHT NOW, where would it be? And why? >> I don’t want to go anywhere right now.
Do you fancy someone currently? Tell me about them! >> No.
Ever have a big ol' crush on someone you've never met in person? If so, did you ever tell them you did? >> I’ve been attracted to people I knew online, yes. And yes, I’ve told most of them.
What makes you feel luxurious? >> I’m not sure. I don’t know when I last felt that exact way.
Do you enjoy drinking scotch as much as I do? >> Probably not.
What have you done that makes you proud of yourself? >> Well, I kept playing FFXIV instead of quitting forever in shame and telling myself I’ll never be any good at it. Believe it or not, that’s a milestone.
What makes you envy someone? >> Usually I envy people who seem to have had very little instability or suffering in their lives, because their brains work.
For you, is jealousy something that makes you more sad or angry-feeling? >> If you still mean envy, then it can be either one. I don’t experience jealousy as in relationship jealousy.
Do you get the munchies? >> I don’t smoke, so...
Every been to Germany? If so, what part? >> No.
Do you buy newspapers just for the puzzles? >> No, I have an app for newspaper crosswords.
Describe any tattoos or piercings you may have...? >> I don’t want to, I feel like I’ve described them a million times.
When's the last time you smacked someone's butt? (Or been smacked :P) >> That’s not a thing I do or encourage having done to me.
Do you enjoy making art? If so, what's your style like? >> I don’t make art.
Were you a shy child? >> I don’t know. I was mostly a distant child, I think.
Ever wanna run away with the circus? >> No.
What is the closest object to your feet right now? >> My weighted blanket, which is folded over the second half of the bed because it’s too hot to use.
Reach behind you- do you feel anything? What is it? >> The wall.
Is English your second language? >> No.
Have you ever designed and constructed your own clothing? >> I’ve altered clothing, but not designed and constructed from scratch.
What's the very last digit in your phone number? >> 3.
Is your house an odd or even number? >> This building is even-numbered.
Do you have a favorite superhero? Who? >> I like Iron Man and Doctor Strange. Also, does Promethea count?
What power would you like to receive, if given the option? >> I don’t know. The power of brain that work good.
Ever punch someone in the nose? >> No.
...will you write me a haiku? >> No.
What was the last thing that really delighted you? >> Probably a scene in FFXIV. For example, I did a lot of moogle sidequests today and moogles are fucking adorable.
Do you wear skin-colored clothes? >:C >> I don’t have any brown clothing, no.
Ever eat German cuisine? If so, what'd ya have? >> Yeah, I ate at Bavarian Inn on one of our yearly trips to Frankenmuth (which is a kind of... German-inspired tourist town or something -- we go there every fall for the giant world-famous Christmas store that’s also there). I don’t remember what I ordered, though. German cuisine, while hearty, isn’t dramatic or varied enough for me, though.
Do you have conversations with any animals? >> Well, yeah.
Do you have a little sibling? If so, are you protective of her/him? >> No.
Recommend me a good book? >> I don’t know you and I cannot recommend you a book.
Can you sleep on your back? (I can't, I feel too vulnerable!) >> I can, but I usually end up on my side eventually.
What's the last special thing you did for someone? (Buy, cook, etc.) >> I don’t know.
Did you cook something today? If so, what was it? >> No.
Ever baked ALL day? >> No.
Can you recognize the smell of death? >> A dead person? I mean, I could probably figure out what I’m smelling if I suddenly caught a whiff of a corpse. It seems pretty... singular.
Ever known a mortician or a coroner?? (Now you do!) >> Oh, that’s neat. Mortuary science is so fucking cool. Unfortunately, I don’t actually know you, so I still don’t know any morticians or coroners. :(
What makes you feel good about yourself? >> That’s a good question. I’m working on that.
Could you ever be some type of counselor for kids/teens? >> No.
Do you enjoy getting dressed up for no real reason? >> I imagine that could be fun. I don’t think it’d ever occur to me to do it, though.
What are you afraid of? >> Stuff.
Ever been to a maximum security prison? You, or just visiting? >> No.
Do you think mint toothpaste is too minty? >> I don’t.
How is a raven like a writing desk? >> Heh.
Are you currently eating or drinking something? If so, what? >> Aside from the occasional sip of water, no.
Do you own striped socks? What colors are your favorite ones? >> No.
Black Metal ist Krieg. Agree or Disagree? >> Eh. I mean, I listen to black metal, but I’m not going to make a big deal out of it.
Are there any numbers that have significance to you? >> Yes, 9 and 19.
Do you know how to read palms or tarot or anything else like that? >> I’m passable at reading tarot. For myself, that is.
Do you own any bones or other preserved organic ..things? >> Unfortunately not. Accepting all bone donations.
What do you think about internet piracy? >> I support the mateys.
Do you know anything about Nordic runes? >> I wouldn’t say I know anything about futhark, exactly. The fact that I have Mannaz tattooed on my hand notwithstanding.
How do you feel about children? >> I don’t have a particular feeling about children. It’s all dependent.
Whatcha looking forward to right now? >> Nothing.
How do you feel about clowns? >> I’m indifferent to clowns.
Are any of your friends clown by profession? >> No.
Do you put grated cheese on popcorn? (Yum!) >> I don’t eat popcorn.
Do you thing anyone ever actually gets in trouble for having milkcrates? >> Like, in their home? Who’s going to give a fuck unless a store employee literally saw you take it or something?
Do you tip street performers? (YOU SHOULD.) >> Not usually. I didn’t ask them to be there, I have no obligation to them. I’ll do it if I feel moved to (and if I happen to have cash, which is the other important variable here).
What are your virtues/morals? >> I don’t have a ready list.
What do you smoke, if anything? >> I don’t.
Does being an addict make someone a bad person, in your opinion? >> No.
Have you ever experienced any type of detox? >> No.
Ever been institutionalized? ...was it because of just one pepsi? >> Ha, I haven’t heard that song in a while. Anyway, yeah, I’ve been institutionalised.
Tie up, or be tied up? >> Well, I’m a switch, so.
Ever shoot a gun that wasn't a handgun? Rifle, shotgun, etc? >> No.
Is your mother a really cool lady? >> No.
Ever suddenly find a friend very attractive but had to keep it to yourself? >> Suddenly? That seems like a weird thing to have happen, lol. I imagine someone finally getting glasses after years of seeing everything kind of blurry and putting them on and going, “holy shit, my friend’s hot as fuck!”
What time is it right now? >> 7.42p EST.
Last time it's rained? >> Uh... a couple of nights ago, I think.
Ever been through a deadly natural disaster? >> No. I mean, I was in NYC when Hurricane Sandy came plowing through, but I wasn’t exactly in any of the parts of the city that got hit-hit.
What do you do when you lose power? >> I so rarely lose power that I don’t even know. I guess I would just read, if I could. Or go so deep into boredom that suddenly I become manically creative. They say that happens, or something.
Do you have a boot fetish too? >> No.
Have you ever done home-repair stuff? >> I mean, not really. I don’t live in a home, lmao. You’re supposed to call Maintenance if something needs fixing in these apartments. (I’m willing to bet that if you try fixing something yourself and you fuck up, you’re gonna be payin for it. Better to let Maintenance deal with it. At least if they fuck it up, the complex can deal with the consequences.)
Reason you last used a knife? >> I don’t remember.
Ever tattoo or pierce yourself? What, and how did it turn out? >> Yeah, I’ve pierced various parts of my ears a few times. Most of the time it turned out fine, but eventually all the holes closed up.
Have you ever assisted in a birth? >> No.
Have you ever had a bad trip? >> Yes.
Do you ever yell at your TV/computer/video games? >> Yes.
How long do you take in the shower? >> Like 10 minutes at most.
If you could ask someone ONE thing & get 100% honesty, what would you ask? >> ---
What's the best thing you've ever found in a thrift/second hand shop? >> I don’t know.
What's one skilled craft you like to learn? >> ---
How do you feel about magicians? >> Like, illusionists? I’m indifferent to them. I agree it’s clever work, but I don’t really care about it.
What do you smell like right now? >> I don’t know. Flesh.
Tell me about the last person that made you laugh. >> ---
Who was the last person to really make you feel special? >> ---
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quiet on widow’s peak (4)
pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.9k (this chapter), 13.5k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.
read this chapter on ao3 or here!
Phil did not invite Chris and Sophie to come to Rossendale with him. Not because he doesn't like spending time with them, but because he wouldn't know how to explain a situation to his parents that he doesn't even understand himself. To his knowledge, PJ also did not invite them.
"Change it," Chris whines from the backseat. He'd lost the scuffle against Phil to claim the front, and he's been complaining about Phil's music choices for half the trip so far in retaliation.
"You like McFly," Phil huffs, continuing his search for an album that won't elicit a loud sigh from behind him.
"That's fucking slander, is what that is. You hear that, PJ?"
"Oh, I hear you both," PJ says, flat. "Loud and clear."
They've only been driving for probably forty minutes and PJ already looks like he wants to kick them all out of his car. Phil doesn't exactly blame him, although he resents being lumped in with Chris in the 'annoying background noise' category.
He has no idea how they've managed to invite themselves along, but Phil was too polite and PJ was too smitten to tell them off when they came out to the car with their bags.
So, this is a group activity now. Phil's parents had been thrilled to hear it when he texted them the updated situation - they're taking it as a sign that Phil has a motley crew of good friends again, like he'd had as a kid and again in uni. He supposes that they're not wrong, exactly, but he's definitely anxious about introducing them to Chris.
"I like this song," Sophie says, mild, and Chris closes his mouth.
"Fine, this one is alright," he says begrudgingly. Phil glances at them in the rearview - Sophie is patting Chris' knee and giving him the sort of smile that always makes Phil feel like he shouldn't be present. He looks back down at his phone so he doesn't have to sit with that feeling too long.
PJ turns up the volume, probably to curb any more bickering before he has to toss them all out of his car, and Phil tries to just lose himself in the music for a little bit.
His friends sing along at varying levels of obnoxiousness and Phil tries not to keep opening the Tumblr app to see if someone has messaged him. Well, someone specific. I'm going north today!, is the last message sent between them, and Phil is still waiting for Winnie to offer to meet up or something.
After their non-starter interview, Phil and Winnie kept missing each other's free time to finish it over Skype. Phil kind of wants to hear more from them before he checks it out himself, but that's not looking likely at this point, especially if he's lugging his housemates along with him all weekend.
Phil opens a puzzle game on his phone and lets the mostly-mindless swiping distract him. It's a long drive up to Rossendale, and the last thing Phil wants is to be left alone with his thoughts.
--
Phil's parents love having guests round almost as much as they love to have him home, so Phil isn't at all surprised to walk in and smell a roast cooking. He expects that treats will be made as soon as the oven is free, because that's what his mum is like.
"Hello," Phil calls into the house, kicking off his shoes. His friends follow his lead - PJ puts his boots carefully on the mat that Phil didn't bother aiming for, and Sophie struggles with a particularly stubborn knot in her laces - as he hangs up his jacket. "Mum? Dad?"
"Child," his mum greets him happily, appearing in the entry to the kitchen and making grabby hands at him until he envelops her in a hug.
"Missed you," Phil tells her, quiet enough that his friends won't hear to make fun of him.
"Oh, I missed you," she says, giving him a kiss on the side of his face. She turns her beaming smile onto his housemates, who all pause in what they're doing like a frozen tableau. It's a little funny. "More children! Hello! I'm Kathryn, it's so nice to meet you. And so nice to see you again, PJ," she adds in that somewhat pointed voice that Phil hates so very much.
"Hello, Kath," PJ says, grinning wide. He gives her a hug, too. Chris holds out his hand for her to shake when she's done squeezing the life out of PJ, but Kath will have none of it.
"Don't be silly," she says, wrapping her arms tight around Chris' waist with a laugh. "We hug in this family."
"Really?" Chris asks, and the look he gives Phil is almost more embarrassing than if he'd asked 'so why isn't your son a hugger?' out loud. "Something smells absolutely delicious, Kathryn. Is that you, or is supper cooking?"
Phil stops himself from groaning out loud, but barely. He probably shouldn't be surprised at all that Chris' cheeky, flirtatious charm extends to mothers as well. Kath laughs and smacks lightly at Chris' chest before she turns to Sophie.
Skilled at making people feel comfortable in four seconds flat, Kath chatters away about supper and how lovely Sophie's curls are and how long it's been since she's seen Phil, did they know how long it's been? She herds them all into the kitchen like they're cattle and insists that Phil take their things upstairs while she puts the kettle on.
"Er, alright," Phil says, looking at the small collection of bags that they'd brought with them. Their clothes and toiletries are all there, of course, but so is all the filming and hunting equipment. He'll have to make at least two trips.
"Your father got the guest room and Martyn's room all set up before he went out," she tells him, either not noticing or ignoring his internal struggle.
Oh, wonderful. Phil had somehow forgotten about the part where they had three beds for four of them. He's positive that his housemates won't mind sharing with each other, but now he's been tasked with the anxiety-inducing puzzle of whose bags to put where.
"Okay," Phil says again, even though they've moved on to talking about their favourite kinds of cakes so that Kath can wow them all with her skills. He tries to catch PJ's eye, but PJ is too wrapped up in a conversation about strawberries to notice.
Alright, well. Phil grabs as many bags as he can carry and brings them upstairs, feeling some tension deep inside him get a little tighter as he notices that most of their personal effects are packed away, either in storage or already on the island, and his childhood home looks more like a show home than he's comfortable with. The stairs only creak a little under his weight, nothing like the old house in Brighton, but Phil still feels unsettled.
In the end, he throws PJ and Sophie in the guest room. It's a selfish move more than anything, because he's brought PJ for enough visits to be familiar with the way his parents look at each other every time PJ teases him.
They don't ask. They're not the type of people to pry, and Phil isn't the type of people to offer information unprompted. They've all been in this limbo for years where Phil doesn't tell them that he likes boys and they don't outright question if PJ is just a friend and, frankly, Phil is tired of it. So, Chris can sleep alone.
He takes his own bags up last, because he knows that stepping into his bedroom and seeing all the personality stripped from it is going to make him feel things he isn’t prepared to feel. Phil takes a deep breath before he goes inside, and releases it shakily as he drops his things on the floor.
The beige carpet is almost mocking him, telling him that it's time to grow up, and Phil leaves the room as fast as he can.
--
God it is so hard to get anything done here. Sorry to complain at you randomly but like... I forgot how hard it is to work when my parents are hovering and asking a million questions lmao
Winnie still hasn't responded to Phil's early morning message, but the frustration of his parents distracting him and his friends from their work is starting to get to him. Chris has completely charmed them, somehow, and both Sophie and PJ are too polite to put headphones on and ignore them the way Phil has decided to.
Surprisingly, he gets a reply right away: omg how have i never considered the fact that you had to tell your parents you wanted to hunt ghosts for a living thats so fucking funny also that sucks i live in a house full of students and i always have to go to the coffee shop to work on essays and shit
There's nothing good like that where my parents live. Your coffee place is in the city, right?
“No! He didn’t!” Chris is laughing, somewhere in the living room, and Phil has to turn up the white noise on his headphones. The idea of his parents and housemates trading embarrassing stories about him while he's holed up at the table with audio files he hates makes him itch.
yeah, Winnie says. Phil is so thrown off by the short message that his fingers pause on the keyboard.
Is he annoying them? He doesn't mean to. Phil thinks over the messages they've exchanged since talking on Skype, the wheel of worst case scenarios spinning quickly.
Before Phil can apologise or even really get his anxious mind to settle down, his laptop bloops again, once, twice, three times. Relief from the worry that Winnie doesn't like talking to him curls around Phil's shoulders, relaxing them.
It's a screenshot of Google Maps with an address pulled up, a different building circled in a bright blue. yeah i hella recommend and it's really close to wilkins as well, is the message accompanying the screenshot. Then, right afterwards, 10/10 hot chocolate if i do say so myself.
Phil isn't very big on hot chocolate on its own, but he is very big on quiet coffee shops.
It takes a lot of cajoling and promises that he won't be out too late for Phil to convince his parents that they'll be fine to drive to the city by themselves. His dad gets the same look on his face that he always does when Phil talks about work, but his mum merely pats his cheek and says, "Oh, love, be careful. I'll be cross if I have to get you from the police again."
"That was one time," Phil says, feeling his face flush as Chris looks at him with glee.
"One time too many," Nigel says, a bit too sternly to be a joke. Phil wonders if his friends pick up on it or if they just think he's banting like he's been all through supper, that same dry humour that Phil can see in Martyn making him funnier than his housemates had expected.
PJ and Sophie both laugh a bit, so... probably just Phil's knowledge of his dad making it more pointed than it really needs to be.
The coffee shop is open late, so Phil and his housemates decide to do some recon at the Wilkins place. The sun hasn't quite set yet, and the street isn't completely deserted or anything, so they have to wait for a good moment to leave the car.
They're careful. They've done this before.
The Wilkins place is an older townhouse in Rusholme with windows that have been boarded up since the early noughties because they kept getting broken. Technically, someone still owns the property, but the Wilkins family either didn't care about it or had forgotten it existed, because it's been abandoned as long as Phil can remember.
It also isn't very scary in his memory. It's draughty and has rats scurrying about, but the electricity and heating still worked, somehow, and the social situations he'd gotten thrown into at Martyn's shoulder were definitely more nerve-wracking than the house itself.
All of these things are still more or less true, according to everything Phil has been told, but when Phil climbs in through the loose boards of the kitchen window, the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. He hesitates for so long on the sill that Chris pushes a bit at him, reminding him to move before some annoyed neighbour calls the police.
It's dim inside but not so dark that Phil's eyes strain; the streetlights and setting sun filter in through the boards and showcase the dust covering every surface.
Phil helps Sophie and then Chris through the window, PJ giving them boosts from the outside. They take the various bags from PJ and Sophie immediately pulls out the camera, ignoring the thuds that PJ's feet make as he launches himself up and clambers in like a monkey.
"Sexy," Chris drawls as PJ nearly tumbles onto his face. He's grabbing out equipment of his own, and so Phil is tasked with getting PJ through the window safely.
"At least I've got a modicum of upper body strength," PJ says. Neither of them are bothering to whisper, and that's making Phil anxious.
He can't put his finger on it, but... it doesn't feel like they're alone in here. There's probably someone hiding out from the chill of late October in one of the various empty rooms, and Phil's worst case scenario wheel is spinning so fast it's making him dizzy.
"Do you hear that?" Sophie asks, hushed. That stops PJ and Chris from continuing their bickering, and all three men freeze as they strain for whatever it is that Sophie's hearing. After a moment of complete silence, Sophie shakes her head. "It stopped. Hopefully the mic caught it over you lot."
PJ looks appropriately abashed, but Chris just shrugs. He's got a flashlight and an EMF meter, and he slings one of the bags over his shoulder before disappearing.
This is technically for Phil's channel - they're checking the place out, and Sophie is filming just in case something happens - but Phil still feels weird when PJ ducks off in another direction and Sophie stays at his side instead of following one of her boys, camera steady in her hands and the tip of her nose pink from the cool air.
"What did you hear?" Phil murmurs, beckoning her further into the house. The sound of creaking wood is so loud, like it's right above their heads, and Phil can only hope that it's one of his friends going upstairs.
"It could have been the wind," Sophie says mildly. "Or rats."
"Is that what it sounded like?"
Sophie blinks up at him and her mouth twists in an emotion that Phil can't place. "No. No, it sounded like a person talking."
Yeah, that's what Phil was afraid of. "Someone might be living here," he whispers, focusing on the dark hallway and trusting that Sophie is following.
The creaking again, this time from beside them, and Phil peeks his head around the corner to confirm that the staircase is what he's hearing. Chris is halfway up it, flashlight off between his teeth as he grips the railing like he's afraid the stairs are going to give out under him.
Phil hates this part. He'd rather do this completely alone than have to herd his friends like sheep. He leaves Chris to his own devices and moves into the lounge. This is where the majority of the litter is, empty bottles and cans and crisp bags everywhere. Phil takes a couple photos of it all and sends them to Martyn.
Remember your friend who used to bring a garbage bag to every party? Looks like he was the only one lol
He pauses. All too aware of Sophie's eyes and possibly the camera lens on him, Phil sends the photo to Winnie as well with a different caption: Does it always look like this?
Neither of them respond by the time Phil has picked his way through the first floor, which is at least good for his focus, but it doesn't explain why the house feels so much different than it had seven or eight years ago. Phil feels unsettled here in a way that he doesn't usually get anymore, goosebumps down his arms that aren't from the cold and the constant, unnerving feeling that someone is looking at him from the shadows.
Phil's phone buzzes as he and Sophie debate in whispers if they should go upstairs. Phil hates leaving anything to someone else, even if it's just a few rooms that surely PJ and Chris are capable of exploring on their own. He's in the middle of trying to explain that to Sophie when his voice catches in his throat.
"Peej says we should go," Phil says, interrupting himself. "He found something weird in the attic."
"What's he doing in the attic?" Sophie hisses.
"Dunno. I didn't even know there was an attic."
"We should go, then," says Sophie, like that decides it. Although it does rankle a bit to be lower on the totem pole of his own project, Phil has to admit that Sophie is right. If PJ is saying that it's time to go, then it's time to go.
Phil climbs out of the window first, taking the equipment with him, and then helps hoist Sophie safely down. She's so small that it's not even a strain, really, even with how little exercise Phil gets. They wait, huddled together, and Phil feels some of the knot in his chest start to loosen when he hears Chris and PJ arguing in whispers before the window boards get slid out of the way again.
"What did you find?" Phil asks immediately, and PJ hushes him on his way down.
"Let's go, I'll tell you at the café," he whispers, leading the way down the pavement with strides so purposeful that Phil wonders if he's been in this area before. It's all the rest of them can do to keep up with him, and Phil spares a moment to feel sorry for Sophie and her short legs.
He hangs back with her and lets Chris keep pace with PJ. Chris is still talking at a silent PJ in a hushed, passionate tone, like he's fighting with a brick wall, and Phil doesn't need to be involved in that.
The coffee shop is only a couple of streets away, but the tension that the Wilkins place and PJ's subsequent discovery has brought to the group makes it feel much further. PJ stops in front of a purple door, and Phil has a begrudging respect for his ability to remember where something is after simply being told the address. The shop is small and a little dingy, but the lighting inside is soft through the narrow windows and there's a fireplace that Phil longs to curl up in front of like a cat.
Chris scowls at PJ and holds the door open for him in the same breath. Phil doesn't understand their relationship and at this point he's too afraid to ask, but he ducks into the inviting warmth anyway to try to get the goosebumps off his skin.
The two employees behind the counter look at the door like they've been caught with their hands in a cookie jar. A girl with brightly-coloured hair is holding a bunch of marshmallows, a hand poised mid-throw, and an unreasonably tall guy with an unreasonably large mouth is gawping as one of the marshmallows hits him in the chin.
"You missed," Phil informs them, grinning a bit as he unwinds his scarf.
"Oops," the girl laughs, setting the marshmallows down and pulling up a customer service smile. "What can I get for you guys?"
While PJ and Sophie pore over the menu and Chris starts asking if she'll throw marshmallows into his mouth if he asks very nicely, Phil's eyes drift to the other worker.
His mouth is still open, a bit, and his face flushes when their eyes meet. "Er," he says, glancing behind him as if Phil is looking at someone else, and that's so endearing that Phil is sufficiently distracted from the mystery down the street.
Phil isn't extremely self-conscious or anything, but he also knows he's not going to be the hottest guy in a room, so he's a bit flattered and a lot confused about this guy's reaction to him.
The thing is, the guy is very attractive. A couple of perfect curls poke out from under his cap, and there's some type of shimmer on his face that Phil could not put a name to if you paid him. He knows literally nothing about makeup, but he knows that it makes this giant of a man look softer and his blush even more obvious when it deepens.
"Hi," Phil says, giving him a little wave. He can still hear Chris chattering on and Sophie debating the merits of a hot chocolate versus a cappuccino, so he's pretty sure nobody is paying them any attention. The guy twitches like he wants to look over his shoulder again, but he stops himself.
"Uh, hi? Sorry to be, like, weird, I just - I didn't expect -"
The voice is familiar, the rambling is familiar, and then it clicks. "Oh, hi," Phil says again, warmer this time. He steps closer to the counter and grins up at them - an unusual thing in itself, since Phil doesn't meet many people taller than him. "You didn't mention that you work here."
Winnie's shoulders slump forward in a kind of relief, and they scratch the back of their neck, looking awkward and out of place even in an outfit that coordinates with the colour scheme of the whole shop. Phil looks the uniform over and immediately regrets it, because he didn't mean to see Winnie's name tag and now he feels weird about knowing something he wasn't actually told. He doesn't feel too weird about being here, though, because - well. Winnie had technically invited him.
"Honestly, I didn't know you'd be 'investigating' so soon," says Winnie. They're still blushing and the finger quotes are somehow cute, even though they're being used to poke at Phil's career. Their nails are dark and sparkly, and Phil desperately needs to stop noticing things about their hands. "I would have told you, probably, or I'd just - I dunno, try to make a better first impression."
"You're making a fine first impression," Phil assures them.
Winnie snorts. "Oh, bullshit."
"Phil," PJ says, nudging him. Phil suddenly remembers that there are, in fact, other people around him, and he can't just keep looking at Winnie's long, dark eyelashes. "What are you having?"
Honestly, Phil hasn't even looked at the menu. He's so easily distracted by pretty boys with big hands and - oh, right, he's got to be careful about that, even in his own head. Especially in his own head. Winnie isn't a pretty boy, he really shouldn't be thinking about them like that at all.
"Uh," Phil says eloquently. He's very particular with his hot drinks, usually, but he's got a lot going on in his mind right now and it's easier just to shrug at Winnie than to look away and think. "Dunno, actually. Surprise me?"
Winnie smiles, and Phil's stomach twists. "I can do that."
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Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1, Chapter 13 (One Last Yeehaw)
• It's the chapter everyone's been waiting for! We're pregnant, we get to tell our spouses, we get to tell our friends, we get to tell the courtly ladies, Olivia wears leather, our MCs get to buy a crib for an poppy seed-sized something in their womb that doesn't even know what hands and legs are yet (forget cribs), and the best news of all...WE ARE FINALLLY LEAVING TEXAS!!!!
• If you don't want to see this post on your dash, these are the tags to block: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs and #long post.
• Screenshots:
Hana: The Universal Studios 77 YouTube channel
Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and the HIMEME YouTube channel
Maxwell: @itsbrindleybinch
Title: Spreading the Word
Alternative Title: It's a Child, Not the Gospel 🤦🏽♀
• Before I start talking about the chapter...storytime!
• Sooo...my first pregnancy was a couple of years ago. And I like telling the story of how I broke it to my husband coz it is pretty damn funny. We'd been trying for two years, and had a couple of times when our tests would be met with a disappointing negative. So by the time I did get pregnant, the hubby was a little wary of hoping too soon.
• I had an inkling just before my periods were expected to arrive, because I found myself flopping down on the bed immediately after work, without even making dinner. No morning sickness, no giddiness initially, just constantly feeling so tired. Anyway, hubby insisted I wait a couple days more before a test because he was too afraid of getting his hopes up, and I agreed.
• I took my test around 4 or 5 that morning? And had to wait a couple minutes for the lines...and THERE WERE TWO. Do you really think I could keep such news to myself for more than ten seconds?? (even that was too much). Of course I was going to shake poor hubby awake and show him the test.
• It took five vigorous shakes to wake the poor guy up, and as soon as he was somewhat awake I shoved the test in his face (I was excited ok! 🙈) forgetting that without his glasses he couldn't see shit (very high power). "I can't see anything," he said sleepily, so I gave him his glasses. Ensuing conversation went as follows.
H: There are two lines.
Me: Yeah...sooooo...? 😀😀
H (sudden realization what two lines are supposed to mean): OMG there are two lines??? *sleepy smile*
Me: YES. I'M PREGNANT.
H (weakly): Yayyyy. (pause)...can I go back to sleep now?
Me: But what will I do???
H: You also sleep.
Me (running on sheer adrenaline now) : I CAN'T SLEEP I JUST FOUND OUT I'M PREGNANT.
H: Oooookay. (is too sleepy at this point to process anything).
Me: (excitedly hops over to Google at 5.20 in the morning and types out "I'm 4 weeks pregnant now what")
LMAO. That first pregnancy was quite something.
• The chapter begins with the MC sending her spouse a text. Depending on whether you mentioned a surprise, mentioned that you need to have a talk or texted emojis instead, the LI will react accordingly.
• With the surprise option, the LI flirts with her. With "we need to talk", they appear tense and believe she's angry with them. The emoji option is the funniest, coz the MC sends a string of emojis with the last one being this: 🍞, and the LIs are confused and referencing the bread (I've seen only two routes of this one - Liam talks about the Cordonian Baker's Festival which will only happen after a couple months, and Hana speaks about a bread course). The MC is puzzled at first, then gets to choose how to tell her spouse the news.
• AAAAAND NOW THEY KNOW.
Liam: Ecstatic and excited at the thought of holding his own child in his arms. Immediately after, he worries over the preparations they will need to make, the childproofing of the throne room and the things they will need to get ready, and it is the MC who calms him down.
I personally love that the narrative makes a mention of Liam "recentering himself" here, because it does show me that this is a rare display of raw emotion, of Liam letting go of his control, and you get a glimpse of what calming down for him looks like. Wish it hasn't taken four books to actually muster up the effort to write that.
Hana: One of the sweetest reactions ever - "We're going to be moms?" and a hearty squeal after that. She then becomes emotional and teary, cries with joy. There's some gentle teasing of each other where they call each other "cute", and then Hana tells her she's so glad she gets to share both this moment and this entire journey of pregnancy with the MC.
Hana doesn't show many signs of her intensive planning in this particular scene, because this - again - calls for raw emotion where the LI basically forgets their "normal" and truly savours that moment, but we do see signs of the same type of planning in other scenes.
Maxwell: WHOOPS with joy and excitement as soon as he realizes. Wants to scream out the news on a mountaintop. He promises the MC that their family will be the most awesome, most fun one that the kingdom has ever seen.
I love how Maxwell's overall vibe in this chapter seems to reflect his family situation - he definitely wants to be the exact opposite to his own child what his father has been to him. It's a pity they don't explore that enough.
Drake: Wild with joy, can't stop grinning. But also worried about whether he is being careless with the MC and is overly concerned for her. Calls her not just by her surname but also her first name. I wonder if that should be added to my Book 1 tallies 😂
• That TRR lullaby music is going to be played so much after this that we'll eventually get sick of it. I know it. I know it already.
• The LIs also get to check in with the MC about how she's feeling, and you as the reader get to decide how she is feeling at the moment (ecstatic, nervous, scared?). We also get the option to decide when to break the news to our friends (at the reception itself, or the next morning at breakfast). I think enough of us had an axe to grind with Savannah and Bertrand for the stunt they pulled (with our help) last book, that most people slammed that "reception" button like their lives depended on it.
• The LIs also act in different ways before their friends find out about the pregnancy:
Liam and Hana both dote on the MC, and Hana specifically keeps the MC's dietary restrictions in mind (gets sparkling water/orange juice in place of champagne/mimosas, asks about caffeine content/salmon during breakfast - this varies depending on when you make the announcement). With Drake, the group figures out that he has something on his mind because he's grinning nonstop, and Maxwell tries really really hard to hint at the MC's pregnancy by using phrases like 'bun in the oven' and 'expecting', and gives up in frustration when no one catches on.
• There are three ways you can tell the news to the group - if you're at the reception, you can leave them to guess, get the LI to announce via loudspeaker or scream it out. If you're at home, the same three options except the second one is simply the LI delivering the news in a more low-key manner.
•
YOU'RE SUCH DORKS ISTG.
• Bertrand is happy for us but Savannah is surprisingly (to my great joy) nowhere to be found.
• CELEBRATORY DIAMOND SCENE. For 30 diamonds, which is usually reserved either for finales or turning-point diamond scenes. Again, these scenes deal with the newness of it all, the jubilation, the end of a (not very long, actually) wait, and the LIs get to talk about family.
•
The sex part is 🔥 🔥 🔥 as usual, but the parts that really justify the 30 diamonds we're spending come before and after that. Each LI, as I've mentioned before, responds differently, but the thread that connects them all is the awe and wonder at this new life, and their plans and worries for the future (Good. You all should be worried if Olivia's diamond scene is anything to go by).
- Liam: In the pre-sex portion, the focus is on celebrating this moment they have alone - as parents - together, because once this news is brought out to the world, both they and their child will be thrown into the spotlight. I have spoken in this essay about the kind of upbringing royal children tend to have and the lessons they unknowingly learn in that environment. Liam has gone through this, he is aware his child will go through it too, but he wants the child to have as normal a life as he as a father can provide. This is clear in the last portion of the scene, where he touches the MC's stomach, marvels at the life they both created and - as per the MC's choice - communicates with said child. My favourite option of course is the lullaby, because it's one that Eleanor used to sing to him - and it is interesting how a lot of Liam's memories of an actual parent, doing actual parent-things, is of his mother.
- Hana: In the pre-sex portion, she speaks about how nervous they've both been over whether this pregnancy would happen and the pressure from the court, and how excited she is that that moment is finally here. When the MC asks her if she is nervous or scared, Hana tells her that even though everything that has led up to this (leaving her parents, having a new life in Cordonia) has been unknown and scary, knowing that they will finally have their own family outweighs "all the worries in the world". In the last portion of the scene, they flirt playfully, leading Hana at some point to wonder about whether they should set ground rules if the child is going to be such a charmer. She's already got a whole range of things prepared - from a pregnancy kit to snacks and drinks appropriate for the MC's condition - but the MC encourages her to relax and not worry too much. You can tell that Hana is already in the zone of wanting to be a better parent for her child than her own.
- Maxwell: I find the Maxwell version of this scene really interesting this time, because it deals with both his struggle to change for his child, and his struggle to NOT be the kind of father Bartie Sr was (finally they address this!). The first part of the scene involves Maxwell being his usual excitable self, wanting to scream the news from the rooftops then realising that it might be too risky for his wife. He speaks of wanting to "rewire" himself into "Good Dad mode". The last portion is especially poignant, because he speaks both of what a life without the MC would have been life (an enjoyable Beaumont Bash, but one where he is forever searching for someone, and feeling constantly lonely, like something is missing in his life), and he also promises his wife that he will be the kind of father who will learn and grow from his mistakes, and who will be there whenever his children need him most, not just drop by on the day of their child's wedding.
- Drake: Drake also falls back into old-habit before getting into father-mode - he mentions celebrating with drinks before realizing the MC cannot have them. The MC gets to choose either a non alcoholic beverage or a massage, and as far as I have seen the massage comes with yet another family story about his father massaging a particular spot in his mother's shoulder that would easily tense up. It astounds me how much effort the writers make into making Drake's scenes and exchanges so much more personal than the others. Like the others have their moments in this scene too - but in their cases such moments are the exception, not the norm. In Drake's it's always the norm.
In the aftermath of the scene, the couple get to discuss how they will bring up their child, even though that child will be heir to Cordonia's throne, and get to choose if they want to bring that child up with a sense of normality, or to appreciate the benefits they get from the royal life. In the end, all Drake wants this child to know at the moment is how much their parents love them.
• We now have brunch, hosted by the newlyweds. If we have not yet announced our pregnancy, Bertrand will simply announce us the way a herald would at a royal event before Savannah teases him for doing so, and if we have, he mentions that we are "celebrating the happy news with them once more". Bertrand speaks of being overly formal when he's very happy, and is even happier to mention the word "wife". That'll last.
• Leona gives Bertrand a cup of bourbon as a reward for the way he stood up to Chuck, claiming that she thought of him as a "pretty boy" who knew nothing, but was impressed by his behaviour on the wedding day. At this point I can only roll my eyes and finally celebrate when Auntie Bitch disappears. We've wasted way too much time than necessary on Drake's shitty family.
• If you haven't announced the news, you announce it after this scene. There are a few slight changes, esp the drinks mentioned in certain cases because the brunch is a more relaxed atmosphere than the reception so the food and drink items mentioned are pretty low-key. But everything else is pretty much as is.
• Bertrand and Savannah have a honeymoon to plan, which means we will finally get a break from them too, and Bianca asks us what we're planning in order to celebrate the news. Maxwell suggests getting a gift for the new arrival (9 months before arriving), and Savannah suggests they go to the general store and get something from there. The MC is nervous, because she wasn't exactly planning to meet Cassidy West again. Thankfully, he isn't at the store, so she's pretty safe 😂
•
All the LIs have items they will check out with their friends/wives, but the scene varies related to who the MC married. Minimally in most cases, quite a bit in just one. As usual.
Maxwell shows us baby socks, and realizes that this child is a "miniature human" who will have small-sized everything. Virtually nothing changes in this scene except for Maxwell calling the child "our baby" instead of "yours" in his own playthrough. Everything else is disappointingly identical.
Hana shows us a toy tea set (it's still early days but Hana tells the MC it will be fun to practice and to think of the treats the child can eat from that). If you are married to her, she gets a single line referencing the childhood scene where she waited in vain for her mother at her own tea party.
Liam's scene is the one wit the diamond option - as the King of Cordonia whose entire country's future rides on this child, he is the one who gets to show the MC (+ LI in their respective playthroughs) the crib. There are two variations in this scene - the ones where Liam speaks about "our heir". Other than that, very little difference (though he does mention Constantine in one line later, so I guess that's a plus).
Drake shows the MC a wooden rocking horse. In his friend playthrough, he speaks of the gift as something the child can have to remember "ol' Uncle Drake" by. But if you're married to him, there is a whole set of dialogues where Drake talks of riding horses being part of the Walker DNA, and there is a reference to the secret wedding (riding off into the sunset), and there is interactive banter between the MC and Drake that you don't see much of in the other playthroughs. I wish I could say I'm surprised.
• I mean...seriously??? Maxwell gets NO OTHER VARIATIONS??? Hana's mention of her mother never coming to her tea parties isn't even followed up by a line expressing comfort from the MC????
• Just as we got there options for our nursery decor, we also get three options for the crib (classic, royal, forest fairytale). The royal option is lavish, all gold and cream, and the fairytale option is whimsical, wood finish and the same patterns of forest animals and flowers and leaves as the walls. The classic option is, like its corresponding decor, "very neutral. very baby".
• We exit the shop as quickly as we can either because Maxwell broke a trampoline (in the Liam, Hana and Drake playthroughs), or Hana dropped some teacups (in Maxwell's playthrough).
• Once we're done shopping, we get a call from Olivia, who is at our estate in Valtoria, asking us for the most precious thing in our room. But before she can ask, we tell her we're either furniture shopping or pregnant. The option the writers want us to be choosing is "pregnant", because there's a scene where Olivia secretly happy-cries for us when she learns the news. We can agree to loan her either some fancy shoes, our engagement ring (in the Maxwell playthrough, apparently, there is a reference to the twig ring he made back at the beginning of Book 3) or the Cordonian Royal Sceptre. She isn't sure if she'll come back alive, so she thanks us in case she doesn't.
• The ensuing Olivia diamond scene comes with a chance to figure out what Olivia is upto, an advantage over Auvernal, and a tiny hint at a Nevrakis name for TRM.
• I must say, the writers never cease to go all out for Olivia. Even over the female LI that should have been treated like a co-protagonist. And it's tiring because yet again I'll have to see half the fandom drag Hana just so they can drool over the white girl (in fact I already have).
• Olivia's sprite on the left side of the screen...is going to take some getting used to. It's disorienting. But it's fine after a second one!
• Anyway. She is now at a casino in Monte Carlo, meeting up with Bradshaw and Isabella. She's clearly in super-spy mode, since she refers to the King and Queen of Auvernal as targets rather than their names or titles. She has a better edge over the two if she is honest about her intentions and doesn't pretend she just bumped into them.
• Bradshaw speaks about King Liam sending his 'attack dog' to them and 'not doing his own dirty work' which is hilarious considering this man is from a militaristic society yet doesn't even know the C of combat training and has never done anything besides strategizing.
• Isabella always delivers her stinky, unwarrented opinion as if it holds any weight or has any relevance. In Olivia's case, she mentions Anton's marriage contract with Olivia and wonders aloud how the Queen/Duchess still trusts her enough to allow Olivia in her inner circle after that. All three options to push back at Izzy are 🔥 but my favourite one is "you look like you know all about poor judgement" (which is true, look at who she married).
• Olivia then gambles with Bradfraud and Stinkybella, with whatever the MC chose to give her as stakes. The best option is to simply call Bardfraud on his bluff, because he folds easily. Depending on whether Olivia wins or loses the game, he either asks the guards to place the item in the penthouse, or to get more funds from there. Olivia takes note.
• She then has to make sure she nicks the key to the penthouse from Stinkybella, either by acting tipsy or by coming closer to her for an "awkward hug". Both do the job.
• She learns the following from the penthouse:
- Bradfraud and Stinkybella stay in separate rooms, which means things "aren't as rosy" between them.
- She finds a letter of rejection, doubtless from another royal couple, and this is an indication that they aren't as popular as they pretend to be.
- She finds a map of a land she doesn't recognize (is it Monterisso? Olivia would recognize a map of her own country...and neighboring countries...but who am I fooling it's not like team TRH concerns themselves with such ridiculous things as logic!), which has troop formations on it. They're planning something called Operation Swan. I've heard of "Black Swans" and "Swanning About" used as military terms, but there's not a lot I understand from this. Perhaps this leans more towards a "black swan" idea - where they will launch a surprise attack with a nation they are allying with? IDK.
- Basically, we have enough leverage to win against these two, thanks to Olivia's work.
• In any case, someone comes to the room, and Olivia is on the verge of getting caught. So she'll need to scale her way down.
• This shows us if you have Olivia pray to her ancestors for wings:
(Theodosia is clearly the Renaissance Nevrakis)
• If you don't choose to scale down, Olivia will land on the pool instead, but even then she makes it out okay. She decides to keep an eye out because Bradfraud and Stinkybella could pose as a problem for Liam and the MC.
• Olivia is operating on her own, as far as she has told Bradfraud, but the possibility that Liam is aware of what she is upto still exists. And the MC has no clue even if she is Liam's wife because:
a. The writers are too lazy to code this for Liam, and
b. It's not like the MC puts any effort into finding things out anyway
• We're now leaving the Walker Ranch, a couple hours later, and saying our goodbyes to Drake's mother and aunt. I heave a sigh of relief at the fact that there's no additional "memories" from Bianca become this family has gobbled up enough of our attention. Seems like their horrible attitude was really about the money they didn't get after all (it's a fair gripe to have, but doesn't exactly warrant the attitude they've been throwing around).
• Leona still acts like she did us a huge fucking favour hosting us, even though she was an awful host and seriously deserves to lose her ranch. Bianca tries to be civil but no apologies from her for allowing her son in law to be treated like crap until his wedding day. Seems like all Walkers have a habit of expecting civility from others while giving none.
• Bianca asks us to keep in touch and I'm pretty sure a huge chunk of the fandom said "no way in Yeehaw Hell".
• Liam continues to be mysterious with regards to what Olivia is up to, and Esther - who I HC'd as inquisitive - seems not to care enough to ask more.
• The LI tells us, as we leave, that Kiara, Penelope and Madeleine will be traveling in the jet with us, and it's up to us to decide how we break the news to them. If you own corgis, that features as an option. Two of the options (writing on a cake and announcement by corgi) come with a simple "Coming Soon...The Royal Heir", but the charade one is my favourite 🤭
• Penelope is that particular Drake/Walker Ranch stan who loved the time we spent at the ranch and Kiara is the rest of the fandom, who would much rather be in Cordonia than cooling her heels in Texas.
•
AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.
The MC then tries another charade, one that resembles cradling a baby in her arms, which Kiara takes to mean "American football" (thank God they don't force Cordonians to call it "soccer" anymore), Madeleine takes to mean "a common pirate jig" and Penelope somehow gets the guess right (though Kiara is the one who straight-out says it).
• The ladies are ecstatic, and congratulate us. Penelope calls for drinks, but Kiara has the common sense to add that the drinks should be alcohol-free. Madeleine informs us of the events lined up for us, including the Apple Ball which will doubtless be the ball we will be attending in the finale.
•
There's a small private moment where the LIs dote over the MC more than necessary, wanting to pamper her and keep her in comfort. The MC calms them down, convinces them that they have a very good support system/are a great team together who can achieve anything.
• Mara still finds out about the pregnancy via Maxwell scouring the online shops for corgi-themed onesies even when he is the father. Which makes sense. It's still Good Dad Mode 😁
• In the tiny space of time it took between Madeleine finding out we were pregnant and us talking to people, she managed to schedule a conference for the same day! At least let us confirm the pregnancy with our docs???
• Plus, announcing this early, even if you're not royalty, is pretty risky. You're mostly advised to not disclose it too soon because the first trimester can be a little risky. And there are also cases where your first ultrasound turns out to not be that happy moment where you see that yolk sac and hear its heartbeat, or an ectopic pregnancy 😔. I recall reading about it on pregnancy forums before my first ultrasound (and stressing, but I had to be prepared) and not being satisfied until I confirmed it for myself.
• The writers and the readers know she'll be pregnant because that is what the story is, but perhaps if the team hadn't wasted so much time on the Walker Ranch, they'd at least not have to hurry like this.
• Actually...no. "Hurrying" would be the wrong word. Because they're going to stretch the press conference itself to like two chapters, it seems like. Basically they will spend time on everything that isn't important to the story as long as it's important to their pet character.
• The summary of Chapter 15 (CHAPTER FUCKING FIFTEEN. We're stuck at the beginning of all this even by CHAPTER FIFTEEN) speaks of the press conference heating up, so I'm having an inkling that there will be some pretty heavy stuff being asked in between? Maybe with regards to alliances, or a new scandal, or something else. But it's not going to be easy at all, that much is pretty clear. It's going to be frustrating and there's going to be stuff that will anger the LIs I think. I could be wrong, though.
• Overall this chapter does better in terms of variations even though they still do beef up Drake quite a bit over the others. But at least Liam, Hana and Maxwell get the rare opportunity to briefly address the mistakes (too small a word for what they've done) their parents have made. It's still not enough though. Esp considering the last 9 chapters have seen such an overall of Walker history and Drake's memories and the others have barely a handful of chapters to catch up.
• Sometimes I wonder if Olivia's independent investigation is also fueled by her desire to be so different from her parents and aunt as to wipe out the memory of their betrayal through her deeds. I do wonder if she will burn herself out completely in the process. She is made of sterner stuff than that, I know, but the determination she was showing in this scene and in the last few chapters was on another level.
• I wonder if we will get intel on Monterisso as well (I don't fully trust Amalas yet), or whether the narrative plans to establish this country as the underdog we will be supporting. Who knows. But I'm sure we will see more of that country in further chapters as well.
• That's it for this chapter, I think. Until the next one!
#long post#trh quick thoughts#trh qts#king liam#hana lee#maxwell beaumont#olivia nevrakis#drake walker#trr kiara#trr penelope#trr madeleine#the royal heir
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* ‐ ․ ↺ 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙍𝙊𝘿𝙐𝘾𝙄𝙉𝙂 . . . soo bogum . hitman . caretaker . the heel . a masked hell .
❝ my love , my love , my love , won't you stay a while ? ❞
possible tw’s below: parental death mention, illness mentions, murder for hire mentions, and uh m,,, i think that’s it rlly. just warning ok.
GENERAL INFO
full name: soo bogum ( 수 보검 ). nickname(s): bo, sweetie pie to his mother (: gender & pronouns: cismale, he/him. sexual & romantic orientation: aromantic, demisexual. age & dob: twenty-five, november 8th, 19-- birthplace/hometown: seoul, sk. parents/siblings: only child, deceased father, living mother. pet(s): absolutely not LOL. astrological sign: scorpio. >:-) dominant hand: both! handwriting style: mostly writes in very slanted cursive. i feel like when you see things like royal documents signed or very important letters written back in the day with that vintage cursive ... that would be bogum. language(s) known/spoken: spanish, english, korean. religion: LOL. ok. current living arrangements: a two-bedroom, two bath apartment complex with his older, npc mother. it is pretty spacious given they both have their own room, a kitchen, dining space, their own bathrooms, and a patio. bo has the money if you kno what i mean ... (: occupation/major: hitman.
PHYSICAL
picture reference: uhh... this? this look rlly gives off bogum vibes so (: blood type: type O. nationality: korean. skin tone/color: lighter tanned. birthmarks & scars: heheh wouldn’t u like to kno ??? height: five-foot ten inches. 5′10″. build: pretty average, more on the lean/athletic side though. hair color: red. hair length: uhm ,, look at reference photo? eye color: brown. diet: uhm ... bo has a pretty average diet probably. he would eat just about anything, not very picky. i think he probably has his favorites when it comes to chips and candy but he doesn’t have a special diet. exercise & level of fitness: LOOOL. let me not make a bad joke here ): how’s their posture ( or lack thereof )?: bogum probably has really good posture! i think standing tall with a straight back probably adds to his uh... authoritative look? typical style of dress: ( from his stats page ) dresses a bit old school, vintage?, almost plain. likes wearing tucked in and cuffed shirts, rolled up pants, boots, baseball caps, at least three rings on one hand, gold bracelets. the following outfits aren’t specific to him but they are probably kinda similar. it’s hard to rlly find exact examples ): ( 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 ) body modifications: none, surprisingly. probably pierced ears that he never puts earrings in. that’s really it though. he would prob like a tattoos but wouldn’t do it for the sake of his career ( because tattoos are distinguishing features ).
MANNERISMS
how does your muse walk?: def with a bit of power in his step. very protective when he is with his mother. mostly, he would walk like he calculates every single step he takes. how does your muse talk?: HAHA i just talked about this with myungok’s mun ,, he would talk very plain and probably without a lot of emotion. this would make things that are usually out of pocket probably sound kinda weird. what accent/dialect does your muse talk with?: he is from seoul and according to google, they speak with a gyeonggi dialect there (: how would you describe the tone of their voice? are they loud or quiet?: QUIET... shh... if you speak too loud you won’t hear bogum speaking with such monotoned you could probably fall asleep. bogum asmr when? what does their laugh sound like?: bogum? LAUGHING? i feel like bogum chuckles. so he would have like a short, quiet laugh. how does your muse typically smell?: either like smoke from a cigarette or like his mom’s perfume. what kind of air do they carry?: well jinae’s mun said he would have a dark and heavy presence and honestly that rlly fits the bill. do they have a(ny) catchphrase(s)?: time to die. what are their nervous ticks?: um.. not sure. probably knuckle cracking and finger tapping.
PSYCHOLOGY
what makes your muse happiest?: his mommy! seeing his mom thrive and gain her confidence back, even momentarily, makes him so happy. what upsets them the most?: ugh. listen. i talked abt this with some of y’all but the thought that if he ever got exposed or arrested ... how everyone in his life, including his mother, would just abandon him ... CRIES. was this supposed to be a general question? does your muse have any quirks?: i think his tendency to just be way too lax in certain situations would be his infamous quirk. what are their hobbies? how frequent do/can they do them?: bogum is definitely a simple man. he would totally like puzzles, word searches, watching the news, scrapbooking ( YES, SCRAPBOOKING ), taking walks, shopping with his mom, writing, idk, he doesn’t do anything OD or over the top. shrug. do they have any guilty pleasures?: is your muse an extrovert or an introvert? neither?: 10000% introverted otl. do they have high or low self-esteem? what about confidence?: uhm... bogum probably has an average amount of confidence/self-esteem. he’s a realist, definitely. if he look ugly he look ugly. if he look good he look good. ‘nuff said. are they easily stressed and how do they normally respond to it?: stressed? bogum could be in the midst of a bank robbery and be sitting there like ok, y’all done yet? what is your muses worst fear?: his mother finding out about his job. what is your muses biggest dream?: to either escape his job for good or to be able to heal his mother of all her injuries and illnesses. but of course, neither of those will ever happen! is your muse a morning person or a night dragon?: a night dragon? ok. anyway he is probably both. i can see bogum getting like four hours of sleep and waking up like (: let’s fuckin go! how intelligent is your muse? do they acknowledge it?: OH BOGUM has street smarts but definitely probably not book smarts. at least, not a great amount of book smarts. how can he be a hitman if he’s DUMM?! describe their sense of humor: LMAO. the real question is how can someone as funny as ME play someone as BORING as bogum?
RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES
are they currently in any sexual or romantic relationships?: HELL NO. luuuul. what is their experience with relationships?: to really think about it, bo probably had feelings for people here and there and most likely dated short term in high school but after he moved and began doing that he kind of lost all his effort to pursue romance. how does your muse view the idea of friends with benefits? have they ever had one? would they ever?: another hell naw to that sis. how important is sex to your muse?: not important at all. bogum could care less. what are their biggest turn on and turn offs?: see above pls. does your muse find it easy to make friends?: i say yes, only because most of his friends are through his mother. how important is friendship to them?: veRY IMPORTANT if bogum didn’t have the friends he has today, he probably would be a lot more sad and maybe more than just a hitman ): quantity or quality of friends?: quality! how important is family?: VERY IMPORTANT AGAIN bogum would give his life for his mother and to have his father back. are they close to their family? why or why not ?: YES. obviously asdfasdf everyone probably knows why. although bogum is now the one who runs the house, he still really values his mother because she ultimately has nobody but him in the end if she gets worse. his parents were always really good to him and when his father died, he knew that he and his mother had to stick together through it. he also knew that that he had to step up to provide for his mother because of her injuries and dementia. she is his life, really.
FAVORITES
activity: haha. you really wanna kno?... he likes word searches a lot. animal: idk. probably like. idk. beverage: mmmm some piping hot tea. book: - color: is red cliche to say? designer: - food: flower: water lilies, pansies, lilies, peonies, idk, he would love all kinds of flowers. gem: i googled these. if he had a favorite it would be garnet, smoked topaz, and morion. holiday: christmas! his mother’s favorite too, probably. mode of transportation: walking, usually. movie: - musical artist: oh boy, uhm,, i bet bogum likes indie kpop. like dean, suran, hyukoh, but i dont rlly know a lot to give you more details. quote / saying: - scenery: hm. probably night time in the living room, mom is put to bed already, he’s watching a rerun episode of a crime drama on television and thinking about how it’s so unrealistic. he’s got a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other though he puts it out halfway through because he loses interest. (: scent: i think he’d like the smell of cleaning products, flower scents ( bc it would remind him of his mom ), and metal (: obviously. weather: cloudy or rainy weather. anything that let’s him stay inside for the day. vacation destination: UM. i bet bogum would like to travel out of country to places like europe.
ATTITUDES
greatest dream: to finally have a peaceful life with his mother by his side, healthy or not. he wants to stop being a hitman, really, but it’s kind of like an addiction, plus he’s good at it, and it brings in the bacon. greatest fear: being caught and leaving his mother by herself -- it would be like the ultimate let down since he doesn’t trust anyone with her. most at east when: pls see scenery in section above. least as ease when: out in public by himself. he doesn’t have his mom as his cover. worst possible thing that could happen: PLS SEE GREATEST FEAR. ajdfkjasdfskf biggest achievement: moving to seoul safely with his mom! biggest regret: falling back into the crime life. most embarrassing moment: idk i feel like bogum isn’t embarrassing. he’s too ,, plain. biggest secret: LMAO well ... i think we all know. top priorities: keeping his mom safe, alive, healthy, and her bills paid for. also keeping himself undercover for the most part and making sure neither him or his mother are overwhelmed.
EXTRA TIDBITS
001. bogum is an unhealthy smoker but a social drinker. he never smokes around his mother though.
002. whenever bogum’s mother is around, he is on his own best behavior. he always does his best to be nice and keep up an image of her sweet son although by himself he can be different.
003. so far the only person who knows about his job is sangwoo because he sort of saw him in the act during his first hit. the two joke about it but bogum would take him out in a heartbeat if he spills.
004. i think it’s funny because i always pictured bogum as that person would give the shirt off of his back for you if you were in trouble. but he also wouldn’t hesitate to threaten to make you disappear.
005. his mom doesn’t know how he gets the money to pay for everything but bogum has her believing he “has his ways” and to “just trust him” although she asks about it every now and then.
006. though he stays inside a lot, some of the places you might see bogum outside of his apartment, are grocery stores close to his place, bars around town, museums, little cafes picking up things for his mother, dawon’s flower shop, and very occasionally places where there are a lot of drug activity.
007. here is smth: bogum is a hitman because his father was killed in a hit!
008. despite his mom questioning where he earns his money, his family has always been pretty well off but that was because of his father. so now that his father isn’t alive, it’s kind of ... fishy.
009. lmao probably your very typical scorpio minus the s*xual stuff.
010. my brain stopped working.
AESTHETICS
a card hand full of royals. empty, dark hospital hallways. dirty hands under black leather gloves. an empty, lonely wheelchair. old black and white photographs. an ashtray full of half smoked cigarettes. ripped up diary pages. rolled up fifty dollar bills. two expensive rings on each finger. responding “k” to a paragraph long text message. tri-folded letters written in the upmost calligraphy. roman numeral clocks.
#daegu:task#⸢ 。‧ * ‧﹒、i think it’s time to pack it in . 𝒹𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓅𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 . ⸥#I ADDED my own section at the bottom bc why not (:#ok i see u all later
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Well, I have been glued to The Witcher 3 for the past few days. A lot has happened!
I started (and finished) the quest “Family Matters” and my gosh, what a rollercoaster.. The Bloody Baron is a complex character. I had a bad feeling about him from the beginning... but as more piece of the puzzle filled in, my opinion of him changed (numerous times!)
Even though he was an abusive alcoholic, it doesn’t seem like he was to blame for Anna’s miscarriage. Don’t get me wrong - it doesn’t excuse his actions, but goodness what a complicated situation. When I found out she cheated on HIM, their marital problems certainly made a lot more sense, hahah
My feelings toward him softened when he begged Geralt to help Dea become a lubberkin instead of just killing her. He seemed genuinely remorseful for his shortcomings as a husband and father. I feel for him, y’know? But then he’d be a dick to Geralt and I’d instantly dislike him again lmao
There’s a part when you speak to him in the garden and he laments the fact that he’ll never know which flowers Dea would have liked best :( Oh my gosh, I teared up
OKAY but then!! Then!!! I didn’t understand how the quest in Crookback bog tied into Family Matters until the VERY END. HOLY SHIT, WHAT A TWIST. AM I STUPID? Anna was the crazy lady all along??? Looking back, I feel like I should have put two and two together, but I never once suspected it... Not until she hesitated to give the crones the ear and we see the mark on her palms. Then I was like, oh shiiiit!!
I’m so worried about her D: The crones are SO scary. It’s not often I’m creeped out by monsters in video games, but there have been a few notable exceptions in TW3. One is ghouls. They have faces like dead people, but they act like dogs. I find them very unsettling! Second is drowners. I don’t find their design particularly frightening, but several times I’ve been minding my own business, gathering herbs in the swamp, only to turn around and find myself surrounded by a swarm of them. One is no big deal, but when I see several, I usually just run away as fast as I can ‘cos I’ve been killed by groups of them before!
Third.. The Whispering Hillock. I got the sense.. whatever it is, it’s very evil.. But I also felt bad for it - it gave me major “I have no mouth and I must scream” vibes. I didn’t read anything about it online (I’m scared of spoilers!), but I’m so, so curious... So, I helped it. The game gave me more than one opportunity to kill it, but I wrangled a black horse and led her back to the tree ;___; Why did I do it? I’m not sure.. Partly because it claimed it would help the orphans in the swamp... Partly because I knew the crones hated it. Partly because, well, I just wanted to see what would happen! After it took over the horse’s body, the horse’s name changed to “Black Beauty”. Hmm.. I don’t know where to find it, or if it’s actually going to help the kids, but I know it pissed off the crones a LOT
I could continue on with my quest to find Ciri... Or, there’s another quest where I return to Crookback bog with the Baron to save Anna. Not gonna lie, if I’m at the appropriate level, I’m doing that one first!
There’s still so much I don’t understand about this game:
- I feel bad looting peasants’ houses, but how else am I supposed to get food? I can’t afford to buy it :( Is it okay to steal from people? In some ways, I feel like the game encourages it... but then, there are consequences if you steal in front of guards. I’m not sure what to think
- How the heck do you make money? I loot everything I kill, but merchants only offer a few coins in exchange for pelts, weapons, and junk. I never have more than a couple hundred coin on me at any given time.. Repairing my armor and weapons uses up ALL of it! I do have things like pearls, rubies, and sapphires, but I’m afraid to sell them because it says I need them for crafting
I kinda looked up the second question on Google, but I got mixed answers. I’m confused
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a long fucking post (sorry)
bc my browser quit so i just copied it into notepad and kept going and didn’t break it up bc frankly i couldn’t be bothered lol i’ve #struggled today anyway:
i...i dont have any stuff to make spicy food with?? oh my god..........
where do i even...find
lol i could go back to the plateau but i’d probably be Sad.
i guess i have no choice :/
wow i miss the old man
pfft i can see farosh from here but it’s so close i’d never make it in time
SOMEDAY /shakes fist
seeking out shelter from a lightning storm inside the ruined temple of time makes me Very Sad
man. man. there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to set this right
except the main story, i guess, hahaha
OMG A RAINBOW
just for a short moment i didn’t even have time for a picture...wow wow wow
all right i’ve got enough peppers and i’ve had MORE than enough of the plateau im outta here
i fast traveled back to that one shrine i couldnt figure out before
i realize now i was probably supposed to use my paraglider hahaha but i just didnt think of it
theres a chest in here that i cannot. get. oh my god
[death montage]
GOT IT
lol and all that for a little sword
BACK TO THE MOUNTAINS thank god i have a fast travel point now
and that’s all done! time for more of The Story
normally i’d cut this off here but it’s p short so far so w/e
except.......idk where to go next. i know i want to find the zoras, but
which...direction are they. like, i even googled it
i’ll ask my brother and attempt the naked island again while i wait. i read somewhere you can drop your stuff before you properly set foot on there and it helps a bit. plus it’ll be something he hasn’t done, haha
well, so far so good - i managed to drop a few of my best items and a small amount of food - apples and raw fish - before i stepped on, but i forgot to drink the defense up elixir. i DID remember to eat the extra hearts food, though, and a good thing, bc i came on during a fucking storm in the middle of the night and nearly got killed by some weird yellow octorok popping up out of the ground. fine now tho, all out of extra hearts but other than that good - found some shrooms, a sword, and an axe
oh my god i hit a barrel and DIED bc there was an electric chuchu in it!!!
okay trying again...in the storm again...forgot to drink my defense bonus again...Greay
one orb down!!
lol and i died AGAIN bc i underestimated a bokoblin...i can't take out camps from afar with no arrows!! maybe i can try bombs next time, sigh
i hate getting out to this island
i hate everything ABOUT this island. it is deisnged to kill you. endless skeletons and fire chuchus are great if you need materials and weapons but the chuchus set everything on fire. and there are octoroks ringing the whole island AND on the actual island - there's no safe ground ANYWHERE!!
remembered to drink my elixir but nearly left the stuff i dropped floating in the ocean lol
one orb down AGAIN.
gotta be a smarter way to do this bokblin camp on the hill. i can't take them all on at once and i can't detonate any of the explosive from afar with arrows, and bombs get me noticed. i can't take that swarm of enemies with no armor. no way.
YES camp down lmao i blew up the barrels with my own bombs since the fucking chuchus noticed me anyway
now i can COOK THINGS thank you thank you
YES now i have hearts up and attack elixirs!!!!
time to fight the blue hinox (:
HAHAHA WOW MY HEARTRATE IS SO JACKED RN
he has so much defense even with my elixir ;_; im too afraid to get close enough for an attack
i wish i had a defense booster!!
NO oh god a lightning storm now of all times!!! no!!!!!!
I CANT EVEN CLIMB THE CLIFFS TO ESCAPE HIM IN THE RAIN
oh my god can he follow me into the water...?
wow it's lightning for the next three hours what the fuck?
aaah the music stopped..he's laying back down...i hope his fucking health doesnt refill
i tried using chuchu jelly to make explosions but they didnt hurt him, only my weapons did bc of my elixir...but im sooo afraid to get close to him, if he kills me i have to do ALL this again
i wanna wait the storm out before i fight him again but i get the feeling the storm was triggered by him waking up bc it's nonstop lightning on the little forecast thingy
god there's not even anywhere to take shelter i just have to pray i dont get struck
yeah it changed back to normal rain as soon as he started snoring...he BETTER not have his health back
NOPE HE DOESNT BUT I GOT UP CLOSE TO HIM TO HIT HIM AND I'M SO SCARED LMAO MY HEART IS POUNDING SO HARD IM SO STRESSED
at least it isnt storming
nooo i hid in the water again and he slept and some of his health came back )))): i am never gonna get him, this is gonna take hours!
as if that wasnt bad enough there's another bokoblin camp with a MOBLIN on top of this big ledge
maybe i can get some arrows at least :/
good news: managed to cheese the bokoblin camp up top. have in my possesion 13 arrows. bad news: hinox is definitely back at full health rn
ok. so im up here where hinox can't actually go (i hope...) and i have my bombs and 13 arrows, plus all these extra bows and weapons and even a pot to cook some more stuff in. i can do this. i can do this.
ok he can't get up here he can't even hit me with projectiles but IMMEDIATELY the lightning started up again so lmao (:
luckily i have found the perfect position from which to roll bombs down at him lol
so this is only gonna take all year ASSUMING i dont get sturck by lightning.
no no no no no NO NO NO
the blood moon!!! why now!!! oh my god!!!!!! can ANYTHING go right oh my god!!!!!!!!!!
at least im far enough down on the ledge the camp up there cant see me
but i'll have to clear out the other one again if i ever manage to kill the hinox and get his orb
:| he keeps trying to go to sleep lol which. no bitch no more health for you jesus fuck
he can't get any of his rocks to land on me and only about every third bomb lands on him lol
his health is sooo low im so tempted to go down and take a swing w/ my weapon, but if i die now and lose all this progress i won't be able to deal so im gonna stay patient and cheese it til the bitter, bitter end
HAHAHAHAHA FINALLY
FUCKING EAT ME YOUR GARBAGE MONSTER GET W R E K T
I PERSEVERED!!!!!! STAYED DETERMINED okay now if not for the blood moon that'd be the end of it but no i gotta clean out that one camp AGAIN without dying
i can do this i can do this i can do this
i......i did it
all thats left is to drop my items and put in the last orb
oh my god!!!!
oh NO if you drop too many they start vanishing ok....choose carefully then
lol ALL THAT FOR A SHRINE TO SOLVE this better be one of those no-puzzle chest only deals
LMFAO i have to reclear the big camp to get in the shrine...oh my god...oh my god
ah well maybe i'll get some more shields i accidentally glitched all mine away
should be easy with all my stuff back
aaaand im stuck down here at the camp i cleared out bc its storming. at least the blue moblin got struck by lightning in a stroke of what i can only assume is divine justice
ok the storm has FINALLY passed
i am FINALLY inside the shrine and have a fast travel point
i got 300 rupees, which is garbage, and i got to watch that stupid monk turn to dust.
ooh whoa there's a rito out here!!!! hi!!!!!
lol a training course for flying...20 rupees a pop. now i know what the fucking chest was for. god.
ah i can't do the course and im so tired of failing at things...i guess i'll leave them for now altho i bet you get a SICK upgrade
no wait i looked it up and its just rupees LMAO no thanks
im never coming back to this fucking island ever again
also: forgot that i did not actually explore the sunken ruins earlier bc of Weather, am going to do that quickly before quitting
oh god oh no i landed right here and there's some fucking masked walking beast getting ready to attack me Why God
IT'S A CENTAUR I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMEONE WITH A HORSE IT'S CALLED LYNEL WHY WHY WHY
god okay we're doing this i guess jesus fuck
if that wasn't bad enough farosh is flying above us LMAO and i still can't shoot him
I! KILLED HIM! bc i had a DEFENSE elixir
i wish i had snapped a better pic than his dying body tho :/
o h w e l l
oh!! i found a memory while exploring!!!!!
HAHAH HOOOOOLY SHIT
oh my god...oh my god...
so it was the four pilots of the original jaegers and two are dudes and two are ladies!!! so there was an even mix in the scene #nice
the voice acting was good and still so unexpected
and the MUSIC oh i love the music when he's remembering something
it felt like a scene from any zelda game, but one near the end—except i'm still at the start
it's so similar to how everyone like, rallied behind link at the end of tp to help him beat ganon, but...this time we already know link failed
god!!!!! this is so good!!!!
every time i find myself thinking "this is an amazing game but it just doesn't feel much like zelda" it comes back and gets me
aaaaaah
and i found a shrine here!!! #nice
altho i'd really like to be done for the night lol
it was super easy thank goodness
omg no the dragon flying earlier must have been naydra bc there naydra is :'))) hey bud
ah and i ran into kass the accordian playing rito again ;w;
anyway now that im FINALLY done with this pronvince tomorrow i can go find the zoras!! yay!!!!
fun fact my very first username was "[not my name, some random one, not telling what it was] of the zoras" bc i love them so much
#personal#loz blogging#botw spoilers#no really this one is hella spoilery#i saw A Cutscene#anyway im glad im liveblogging all this#i never want to forget how much i hated eventide island (:
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