#Had to change the video to a link in order for it to appear in tags

[fruit-sy]

Welt Yang Through The Time

A little snippet through Welt Yang's life, all the way from when he was still Joachim to now in the Astral Express, as his eyes are set towards a far goal in the distant future

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music : (Slowed) "But First, a Quiz" by Gooseworx

Woops, forgot to include this- Big thanks to ratsarevalid for helping me with research :3 This video would've taken a lot longer to make if it weren't for her!

[seospicybin]

ON THE ROAD.

PART I

Bangchan, Han & Jeongin x reader. (s,f,a)

Chapters: Part II

Synopsis: A group of friends going on a road trip that, little did they know, will change their lives forever. (19,1k words)

ON THE ROAD PLAYLIST.

Author's note: My inbox is always open for feedback and your wild theories hehehe enjoy this one too! x

A famous author once said that friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too?"

For years, Chan believes that in order to make friends, he has to have common things with them, for example, having the same favorite books having the same hobbies, etcetera.

That's what he thought until he found out that in real life, that's not always the case.

Chan learns all about friendship when he meets his friends. He first met them at the art school 8 years ago and they remain good friends to this very second.

Because they're now living in different places and working in various professions, they have this weekly group video call every Friday at 8 pm.

Chan is so busy editing videos that he almost forgets that it's Friday and it's ten minutes to 8, he hurriedly opens his laptop to start a video call with his friends. He knows it'll take them some time to come online so he notifies his friends through the group chat too, not forgetting to add that he'll not make them watch a foreign movie tonight in the hope that they'll hurry.

That's one thing about Chan, he's passionate about movies and dreams of becoming a great movie director someday. Other than that, Chan has many great qualities about him. He's smart, he's good looking, he lives a healthy lifestyle, and a true social butterfly, something about him that makes people comfortable being around him. Those qualities combined with his dimpled smile create this magnet that attracts a lot of girls.

However, Chan only has eyes on one girl and one girl only.

"Oh, hi, Chris!" A voice that's way too familiar says through the laptop, a voice that evokes something deep within him and sends a tingle down his spine.

"Hi, Jinnie!" Chan says back with a smile.

-

Jinnie's Friday night is like any other night, she's drawing in her studio with the scented candle filling the room with the soft and sweet smell of vanilla. At times, she'll take a break to sip her tea and check her phone for the time.

It's almost 8 and she wonders why the group chat isn't blaring with notifications, she pouts thinking that everyone is too busy to have a video call tonight.

Just like the universe heard her wistful thinking, her phone chimes with a notification and her face lights up as she opens it.

It's Chan sending a link to the video call. Jinnie wastes no time to get on her laptop and clicks on the link that takes her to where everyone is going to virtually meet. A few seconds later, her face appears on the box on the screen next to Chan and that means she's the first to come online after him which is not a surprise.

"Oh!" She delightfully gasps, feeling happy to see a friendly face even though they had one of the video calls a week ago.

"Hi, Chris!" She greets him while smiling and enthusiastically waving her hand through the screen.

"Hi, Jinnie!" Chan replies with his sweet, dimpled smile.

It's kind of adorable to find him waving with his muscular arms and Jinnie can't help but smile. She adjusts her desk lamp to give her proper lighting then stacks her hands together.

"It's always us, huh?"

"What?" Chan asks as he leans closer to the screen.

"It's always you and me," Jinnie says, pointing at him and then at herself while half laughing.

Chan cracks a laugh at that, "And that means Jeongin will come next."

"Cause we all know who will come last."

"You mean who will come late?" Chan corrects him with a smirk.

Jinnie lowly chuckles and grabs her cup of tea from the other desk, "How are you, Chris?"

"I'm doing great, I guess," he answers.

"I guess?" Jinnie squinted her eyes at him as she repeated his words, "You've been staying up all night again, did you?"

"Well, uh..." Chan tries to make up an excuse but fails, he covers his eyes in embarrassment and laughs it off, "I tried not to."

"Are you working on something?"

"Yeah, I'm editing these videos for a short film I did with a friend," he answers.

"Oh? Is it the same one as the one you told me?"

"No. It's a different one."

"I know you're working, I hope you keep taking care of yourself well, Chris," Jinnie warmly tells him, genuinely concerned as a friend.

Jinnie has always been like that, kind, attentive, and a great illustrator, she's as gentle as the colors she uses in her art. She's beautiful but not solely because she's the only girl in this group of friends.

Jinnie's outer appearance matches her inside and you rarely find that kind of person.

The other often think of Jinnie as an angel that unluckily fell on this part of the earth, right in the middle of this friendship, and has become a blessing to everyone ever since.

"Oh, there's Jeongin!" She gasps, showing the same enthusiastic and bright smile whenever she sees her friends.

In other words, there's lucky to have Jinnie as their friend.

-

The letter feels heavy on his hand even though it's only a piece of paper, a piece of paper that holds his future and will forever change his life.

Jeongin should be happy, this is what he wants but something is tugging at his chest. He slips the paper back into its envelope and hides it in between pages of the book he's reading.

He reclines on his chair and runs his hands through his hair, feeling torn but he doesn't know what makes him feel that way. He closes his eyes as if it would help him shutting his mind off and ignoring the chimes that come from his phone until he remembers to check it.

Using his hand, he gropes around the table to find his phone without looking and unlocks it to find some notifications, the first three are coming from Chan.

Jeongin rushes on his chair realizing that it's Friday and he forgot about the video call. He immediately gets on his computer and logs into the link Chan sent him through the group chat.

Despite knowing that he's late, he remains calm because he knows he'll not be the last to join, there's someone else who will come later than him.

The screen takes a moment to load the video call and he appears on the lower box between his two friends, Jinnie and Chan.

"Oh, there's Jeongin!" Jinnie exclaims in joy, as beautiful and bright as usual like she's bringing her own sun wherever she goes.

"Well, Chan said we're not going to watch a weird foreign movie so here I am," Jeongin jokingly says.

"Thank you, Jeongin," Chan says, poking his cheek with his tongue, easily offended as expected which truly shows he's the oldest one in this group of friends.

"But the last one we watched was really good," Jinnie says, defending Chan with his exquisite taste in movies.

So here's the thing, everyone knows that Jinnie and Chan would make a perfect couple but it's a mystery why they're not dating yet.

Jeongin knows for sure that Chan has a feeling for Jinnie and it's so obvious, but he can't say the same about Jinnie even though it's impossible that she missed all of those signs.

Or maybe love is a simple thing because Jeongin is someone who watches from the outside and it's different for those two individuals involved. But still, Chan has been there all along and Jinnie doesn't see it, which infuriates Jeongin at times.

Whenever he sees them together, he gets the urge to point out everything but instead of that, he lets out a sigh and then puts on a smile.

"So, how are you guys?" He asks.

Jeongin has always been the quiet one, but don't take his silence as ignorance, he's very observant. He watches everything and remembers everything to the tiniest details, that's also why the others become extremely careful with what they say or do around Jeongin because they know he has their cards under his sleeves.

But being observant also means he has sound judgments about things, he's fair and sensible and that makes Jeongin the most reasonable one.

"I'm great. I'm having a cup of tea with me," Jinnie says, showing the cup of tea she's holding with both hands with her eyes forming two crescents as she smiles.

"And I'm good, thank you for asking," Chan says with his dimpled smile.

"I'm not asking you, Chris," Jeongin jokes.

Chan presses his lips together until they form a thin line and lets out air through his nostrils with his eyes closed while Jinnie is giggling.

"How was the recital going?" Jinnie asks.

"It went well," Jeongin answers.

Honestly, everything went so well, he's still playing piano as always and has shows to do but something about it makes him feel a little distressed that he feels the need to shift the talk.

"Well, we're not watching Chris' weird movie tonight—"

"It's not weird," Chan groans in disagreement and a glare aimed at him.

Jeongin refuses to correct his earlier remark and continues, "So what we're going to do tonight?"

Truthfully, Jeongin really needs the distraction tonight and he doesn't mind at all even if it means he has to endure three hours of watching a movie he can't understand, plot or language-wise.

"I have an announcement," Chan says.

"What kind of announcement?" Jinnie curiously asks with her eyes comically widening.

Chan swivels his chair to the side and plays with a stress ball in his hand, "I can't say anything yet until everyone gets here," he says.

Jeongin groans as he reclines on his chair and covers his face, knowing that it'll take only God knows how long until the last person finally comes online.

"In that case, I'll get myself a can of soda first," he says to everyone, then gets up from the chair.

When he returns to his room, Jeongin notices that the fourth person has joined the video call. Actually, he can hear it even before he enters the room from his babble.

"I know you guys have been waiting for me. No need to get that excited!" Han says, acting like he didn't just make everyone wait for him as usual.

-

Han is trapped in his own head like usual, arranging words in his head to make good lyrics for the track he made last night. He pictures those words in his head as he hums the melody to himself and then jots them down in his notebook.

He puts the headphones on again to hear the track once more, singing the lyrics to fit the melodies and only realizing that his mom is calling for him once she appears in front of him.

Disoriented, Han sits up on the bed and puts his headphones down, "What's wrong?"

"I've been calling you for dinner!" His mother scolds him.

He lets out a chuckle and takes his headphones off altogether, "But it's only five," he says.

His mother must have been so used to seeing him in his room and unaware of the time.

"I put the dinner in the oven," she informs with a dramatic head shake before exiting his room.

Is it dinner time already? He looks around for his phone on the bed, he's sure it's somewhere in there. He's flinging the duvet and then there's the sound of his phone falling onto the floor.

"Owh?!" He gasps, covering his small mouth with his hand.

Han rushes to the other side of the bedroom and picks it up, fortunately, his phone doesn't crack or break, but the time...

"Oh??!" He gasps again in a rather panicky tone.

It's almost 9, he's late for the video call again. He rushes to his laptop and it won't turn on because it runs out of battery.

"Ugh!" He groans as he struggles to plug it in the first time and groans again as he plops onto his chair.

It's always like this, losing track of time when he starts working on something. He remembers it was only four when he started writing his lyrics and now it's almost 9 pm.

It's like the laptop knows he's in a hurry it decides to take more time to boot and Han nervously taps his fingers against the desk, knowing that he makes his friends wait for him for the umpteenth time.

His fingers are typing as fast as they can to log in to his account but it takes him another moment to load the video call.

"Work faster you piece of a—"

"Welp. There he is!" Chan exclaims, looking annoyed but relieved at the same time.

"Thank you for finally gracing us with your presence," Jeongin says with the right amount of sarcasm in his tone.

"Oh, hi, Han!" Jinnie says, being the most welcoming out of the three.

"I know you guys have been waiting for me. No need to be that excited!" Han playfully says. He knows they're upset and tries to lighten the mood.

In his defense, he didn't do it on purpose. It becomes a habit at this point and he knows everyone will eventually let it slide.

"I guess you've been busy working on your lyrics again, huh?" Jinnie asks, propping her hand under her chin.

"No, I was helping my mom fold the laundry," Han makes a joke out of his own life.

Unlike everyone else, Han is the only one who hasn't figured out yet what to do with his talent for producing music. He's been working on some tracks but that's about it.

"Anyway, what kind of weird movie are we going to watch tonight?" He asks, shifting the talk to something else.

Chan clicks his tongue and says, "Thank you for making it obvious that you didn't read the group chat."

"Well, I opened them but didn't read them like all cool people do," Han confidently says with a sly grin plastered on his face.

Despite the uncertainty of his career, Han thinks he's the coolest of them all and doesn't care if anyone thinks otherwise. He's funny, and he's the mood-maker of the group but in all honesty, he's just being his authentic self 24/7.

"Okay, now since we're all here..." Chan says, sitting upright in his seat.

"Oh, so we're not watching a movie tonight," Han says in utter confusion, this is why he shouldn't be late so he won't miss out on a lot of things.

"Just shh..." Jeongin hushes him with a finger in front of his jutted lips.

"You're not like... dying, right?" Han hesitantly asks because Chan puts on a serious face, "It's cause you look so pale..."

"I've always been pale. What are you talking about?" Chan grumbles in disbelief, not accepting the fact that his pale skin makes him look like he's dying to him.

"Hannie!" Jinnie sharply calls his name, that is her way of sparing herself from using profanities

"I told you to just shh..." Jeongin scolds him more.

"Okay, okay, I'll shut up," Han says with both hands raised in defeat.

"Anyway," Chan reels the conversation back to the main thing and claps his hands together to get everyone's attention, "I need you guys to get days off for a week at the beginning of next month."

"But why?" Jeongin asks.

"Jinnie, Jeongin, I give you guys a month of forewarning so there's no reason you can't do it," Chan explains, not taking any excuses.

"And you're not concerned about me?" Han asks, feeling left out.

"That's because I know you're always available," Chan shortly answers.

"I need to ask permission from my mom!"

"To do what?" Chan squints his eyes at him.

"Permission to go on a road trip with you guys," he innocently answers.

"You're not some 12-year-old going on a school field trip," Jeongin reminds him that he won't be needing that.

"Oh, yeah, okay," Han meekly says with a nonchalant shrug.

"Well, that means I only need to finish some of my drawings early," Jinnie calmly says.

Chan smiles at her through the camera, "I know you can do it," he sweetly says.

"Thank you, Chris," Jinnie says with a smile.

"Wait, wait, you haven't answered my question," Jeongin interrupts the tender moment between the two, "Why?"

Chan sucks air through his teeth and stretches his arms out, not sure if he's trying to show off his muscular arms or just wanted to stretch them out.

"Because we're going on a road trip!" He announces in a cheery tone.

Jinnie grins in reaction and then claps her hands in excitement, "That sounds fun!"

"Where are we going?" Jeongin further asks.

"I don't want to spoil it yet. It's a surprise," Chan replies.

"I doubt that it'll be a good surprise," Han says just to annoy Chan.

"Just trust me on this!" Chan remarks with a confident smile.

"I just can't wait to spend time with you guys," Jinnie warmly says, being not shy to show her excitement which makes Chan get a little flustered.

"For the rest of this month we'll stop the weekly video meeting," Chan comes with a shocking announcement.

It's the only way they can hang out with each other and knowing that they won't meet until further notice kind of bummed him out.

"Why? Why? Why?" Han repeatedly asks like a parrot.

"So you guys can sort things out," Chan explains, "and Jinnie needs time to finish the drawings, right?"

"Yeah, but..." Jinnie looks a little taken aback too, "I'm sad that we'll not be hanging out for weeks."

"But we'll meet again," Chan assures her.

He clasps his hands in front of him and goes into serious mode once more, "I need you guys to gather at Jinnie's on the first day of July and I'll pick you up there," he informs.

Jinnie nods

"What should we pack?" Jinnie asks, even getting her notes ready to write them down.

"Pack clothes for a week, swimsuits, sunblock, hiking shoes..." Chan lists various things.

"Hiking shoes?" Han gasps, "I'm not going then."

"Even better," Jeongin lightly comments.

"Any more questions?" Chan asks everyone.

Han raises his hand even though he's not in a class, "How's your little sister doing?"

This is where Chan gets a little more serious, he hisses and then says, "I'm not taking any more questions then."

"Why are you so against us dating?" Han pokes fun at him, knowing that he doesn't like it, especially when he asks about his sister.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we become in-laws? We can be brothers for real!" Han annoys him more.

"I'm going to say this once and for all, I don't want to become in-laws with any of you," Chan firmly remarks and then crosses his big arms together.

"So that means you're okay with us dating..." Han relentlessly annoys him with a smirk dance on his face.

Jeongin drops his head into his hands and shakes his head witnessing the interaction while Jinnie is quietly giggling with her cup of tea in hand.

"How am I going to survive not seeing you guys for weeks?" Jinnie sadly says with a pout.

"Not me. I'll manage," Jeongin coyly says, reclining on his seat while playing with his hair.

"We'll see each other soon," Han assures her this time.

Jinnie smiles and cups her cheeks with both hands, "I can't wait to see you all," she says.

There's a moment of silence but the comfortable kind and not conjure any questions, everyone lets it go on for another moment before it gets to the time to end the video meeting.

"See you guys soon," Jinnie says, blowing air kisses through the camera.

"See you guys. Don't miss me," Han says with a sly grin on his face.

"There's no being late," Chan warns a specific someone.

"Jeongin, don't be late!" Han averts the blame to Jeongin.

Jeongin shakes his head again and raises his hand at everyone, "Bye, everyone!"

"See you guys in a few weeks," Chan says, waving his hands close to the camera then ends the video meeting.

-

A FEW WEEKS LATER

When you asked Chan if you could tag along on their road trip, he said no for what you guessed these two reasons: one, he hates seeing you around the boys and two, he hates for you to see him act around the girl he likes.

But, of course, in the end, he said yes for one solid reason: because you're his sister and he can't say no to you.

It's so obvious that Chan is nervous and you guess it's because he's going to meet the friends he hasn't met in weeks and more importantly, a certain someone that he secretly misses but can't tell.

As Chan's little sister, you notice these kinds of things, the change of attitude or how he gets nervous all of a sudden.

"Unclench your jaws, Chris," you remind him.

"I'm not—" he stops himself from talking and does as you told him, unclenching his jaws.

He may have unclenched his jaws but now his shoulders tense up. You take matters into your own hands and push his shoulder down.

"You're way too nervous to see a friend," you poke fun at him.

"Shut up!" He spews out and you know it's coming out of his nervous system.

Everyone knows that Chan likes Jinnie and he's always been for only God knows how long, you guess you're not the only one annoyed by the fact that they're not dating yet because they're just so perfect for each other.

"Okay, shutting up now," you say, making a gesture of zipping your lips together to not let the scary mad Chan come out.

The car makes a turn toward an apartment building and Chan parked it next to the entrance. It seems like Jinnie has been waiting for his arrival, she comes rushing down the stairs from the second floor where her apartment is.

"Oh, my God! Chris!!!" She excitedly comes up to him with open arms

Chan is obviously as excited to see her and catches her right into his arms, he even lifts her off the ground for a moment and gives her a spin.

They're so stinking cute that you can't help but smile watching them through the rearview mirror.

"Good to see you!" She says once he puts her down.

"Good to see you too," Chan says back while holding her hands in his.

When you deem that it's the right moment to insert yourself into the scene, you get out of the car and slowly make an entrance.

They're so immersed in each other that you hesitate to burst their cute little bubble.

"Hi!" You awkwardly wave your hand at her.

Jinnie's face lights up when she sees you, "Oh, hi! Long time no see!"

You come up to her to exchange a hug with her, "Long time no see, indeed."

The fact that she, possibly, would become your sister-in-law doesn't bother you at all, Jinnie is as perfect as one can be. She's beautiful and kind, the nicest human you've ever known, you couldn't be happier if that becomes true.

"I hope you don't mind that I brought her along," Chan says, flashing a thin smile at you.

You shoot him a side eye in return and stay by Jinnie's side.

"Are you kidding? I'm happy that I have a girl companion," she says, pulling you close to her side and squeezing on your shoulder.

"Jinnie, do you mind if I use your bathroom?" You ask, getting the urge to pee all of a sudden.

"Not at all. I'll take you—"

"That's okay. I know where to go," you kindly refuse her help to show you where her bathroom is.

That way, you can give them another moment to catch up with each other. As you climb the stairs to Jinnie's apartment, you see how Chan is grinning from ear to ear and it seems like it will stay like that until the road trip ends. Maybe that's also another reason why he agreed to let you join the road trip, Chan needs a good wingman by his side.

-

The moment he got out of the taxi, Han immediately thanked Jeongin non-stop.

"Thank you Yang Jeongin," he says, calling Jeongin by his full name.

"If you didn't pick me up, I'd be dead late," he grumbles, lowering his voice as he's a bit ashamed to admit it.

"I just knew you'd be late," Jeongin says while hoisting the strap of his backpack higher on his shoulder.

Han hurriedly puts on a smile to greet his friends, acting like he almost got here late for the road trip. He sees his two friends, Chan and Jinnie putting their stuff in the back of the car.

"Rejoice everyone. Your favorite boy is here!" Han announces his arrival while walking in big, confident strides.

Chan and Jeongin just leer at him and Jinnie is the only one giving him a proper welcome.

"It's so nice that everyone's here!" She exclaims, smiling even brighter than the scintillating sun.

She gathers everyone into a circle and puts her arms around Han and Chan's shoulders.

"I missed you guys," Jinnie says, jumping on her feet like a child. She really is the special glue that sticks them all together.

Deep down, everyone feels the same way, Han must say it feels good to reunite with them, it evokes the same feeling of coming home. They're huddling together for a big group hug, relishing that longing for each other.

Han breaks away first to take the last empty spot on the trunk for his backpack, "Dibs!"

Chan and Jeongin groan in unison but at the same time, not surprised to see this display of childish behavior from Han. Chan continues organizing everyone's stuff in the trunk with Jeongin's help while Han comes around the car.

"I'm riding shotgun!" Han shouts, calling dibs for the passenger's seat.

Jinnie appears from behind the car, "I think Chan's sister will ride shotgun," she informs.

Han thinks he misheard her, he lingers by the car door and turns to ask her, "Who?"

"Chan's sister, she's coming with us for the— oh, there she is!" Jinnie points at the stairs.

Han's eyes are following where she's pointing and turns his head that way.

"Oh, everyone's here!" You say as you look at everyone from the top of the stairs.

Time suddenly goes so slowly as you descend the stairs, softly smiling as the gust of wind blows your way, sending your hair flying, and with the sun shining down at you, it creates a halo around your head.

Jeongin accidentally bumps him as he opens the car door, "sorry," he shortly says.

Han is completely gobsmacked to care, his eyes just can't stop following you even after you arrive at the base of the stairs and walk up to the car.

"I think it's true," Han foolishly says with a gaping mouth.

"Huh? What?" Jeongin asks in confusion.

"When the love is real... it finds a way," Han dramatically sighs with eyes big and wide like seeing something so wondrous.

Jeongin gives him the side eyes, but he decides to ignore him and gets into the car.

"I'm going to lock my apartment first," Jinnie informs, going up the stairs to her apartment.

"Hi, Han," you greet him.

Han tries not to crumble hearing you calling his name and instead of answering, he awkwardly raises his hand at you with a stupid grin on his face.

"Are you sitting in the front?" You ask.

Han's brain is not well functioning yet and it takes more time for him to compute a word.

"Well, then I'm going to take my bag," you say, stepping forward and getting in between him and the car door to take your bag from the passenger's seat.

The smell of your perfume is sweet and soft yet it's enough to get him intoxicated, he wants more of it. He suddenly has no desire to ride a shotgun and arranges a new plan in his head.

He rushes to the back of the car and yanks at Jeongin's jacket, "Jeongin, get in the backseat!"

"What?" He asks in utter confusion.

"Get in the backseat! Hurry!" He urges him, opening the seat to the back so he can move.

Doesn't want to deal with him, Jeongin reluctantly moves to the back as requested and Han sets the seat right back up, then keeps the car door open for you.

"Get in," Han says to you.

"Oh, thank you," you mutter, carrying your bag in one hand as you get in.

Noticing Jeongin in the backseat, you smile and greet him, "Hi!"

"Hi," Jeongin sheepishly says to you.

Han sees that Jinnie has returned from locking her apartment and hurriedly opens the car door for her, "You can sit in the front, Jinnie."

Jinnie looks at him, perplexed, "I thought you are..."

He can't hear the rest of what she's saying as he gets into the car and sits next to you.

"I hope it's okay that I tag along for the road trip," you say, putting your bag on your lap.

Han realizes that he should get his act together and forces his brain to function, "It's more than okay," he says with a smile.

This road trip turns into a chance of a lifetime for him. What could be more fun than being stuck in a moving vehicle with a girl he likes?

Chan gets into the driver's side, sighing as he's exhausted from arranging the trunk, and puts the keys into the ignition.

Oh, fuck, Han forget about the part that her brother is in the mentioned moving vehicle too, and drives it. Now, his sense of protection is heightened after seeing you sitting next to him.

"What's with this seat arrangement?" He asks, glaring at Han through the rearview mirror.

He innocently shrugs while Jeongin is staying quiet in the backseat by himself, enjoying the spacious seat for himself.

Jinnie is the last to enter the car and lets out a delighted sigh once she buckles her seat belt. She then looks around at the people in the back and asks, "Everyone is ready to go?"

In response to her question, Jeongin raises a thumbs-up while Han is weakly cheering with his fists in the air and you're laughing at him.

Jinnie then turns her head at Chan and says, "Let's go!"

And just like that, the road trip begins.

-

Everyone else thinks that Han's liking toward you is just a joke and he does that as a way to annoy Chan. Unfortunately, it's not.

He admits that at first, he didn't think of you that way. The very first time he received the information that Chan has a sister, he thinks of you not more than that, a younger sister of his friend.

That night Chan invited everyone to the bar to celebrate his birthday and you've recently turned 21 that year which is why your brother finally took you along with him to hang out with his friends for the first time and he believes that was when things take a different turn.

Han met you once, briefly at Chan's graduation and you've just entered college at that time. When he met you again that night, he almost couldn't recognize you because you've grown so much.

You were just a young girl when he met you for the first time and that night, he saw that girl had flourished into a grown woman and attracted him immediately.

He was so deeply mesmerized by you that he just stared at you the whole night that Jeongin had to constantly snap him out of his head.

The one moment that got him enamored is when you decided to take your jacket off that night and revealed the white camisole you wore that night, he could tell you were wearing nothing underneath because your nipples were poking through the silky fabric. He remembers watching you enjoy the night and dancing your heart out with Jinnie the whole night.

Han couldn't get you out of his head ever since, he grew some sort of infatuation with you, and he followed you on your social media.

When he feels bold enough, he slides into your DMs and asks how you're doing. Chan doesn't know and the fact that he's still oblivious about it means that you don't mention it to him and that's good, it spares him from his doom coming sooner than everyone else's.

Now that he gets to see you in person, sitting side by side when all he could do was just admire you through the pictures you posted. It feels a little surreal that he has to pinch himself a few times to convince him that you're real.

Since Chan is busy talking with Jinnie in the front, he takes it as an opportunity to talk with you because he's wasted three hours secretly staring at you.

"So, how are you doing?" He awkwardly asks while still getting used to sitting next to you.

"I'm doing great," you shortly answer, placing your hand on the space between you and him.

"I heard you're working at the magazine now?" He asks, making it sounds like he heard it from Chan but he actually knew it from your Instagram post.

"Yes, I am," you answer with a sheepish smile.

"I think that's great!" He praises and tries to keep his excitement in check.

"I'm just a copy editor for now. I don't think it's that great," you sheepishly say.

"No, I think that's great," Han feels the need to convince you so he seeks validation from a third party, "Right, Jeongin?"

Jeongin scratches his chin and stifles a nod, "Yeah. That's great!"

"Thank you," you mutter with a shy smile and tuck your hair behind your ear, "How about you? How are you doing?

"Good," he shortly answers but he knows you need more from his answer, "I've been working on a few tracks."

When it comes to you, Han doesn't feel like the coolest person but the objective remains the same, he wants to impress you.

"And I worked on that thing," he scratches his head while considering whether it's right to share it with you.

You tuck your hair behind your ear and look at him, "Worked on what?"

"I made this jingle for an ad," he hesitantly shares.

You shift your body toward him and ask further, "Do I know this ad or...?"

Seeing that you're genuinely curious about it, Han gains a little confidence to share more.

"It's for a shaving cream commercial and it goes like this..." Han starts humming the melody and serenading it to you.

"Didn't you do that thing last year though?" Jeongin interrupts his serenading with a truth bomb.

Han looks over his shoulder and glares at him, making Jeongin see his displeased expression that he's not a great wingman at the moment.

"Yeah, but..." he turns his body more to look at him but can't find something to defend himself.

"I did that," he continues as his confidence deflates in each passing second, "nonetheless."

"Everyone," Jinnie says from the front, "We're going to stop for gas."

Even Jinnie makes a better wingman than Jeongin and she's clueless about what happened in the back earlier.

"Oh, great timing! I need to go to the bathroom," you exclaim, gathering your hair to put it into a ponytail.

This is not a good start, he can tell that you're not impressed at all and far from attracted to him. He consoles himself with snacks, eating them right outside the convenience store.

"I blew that up," he sighs, then shoves chips into his mouth.

"That's because," Jeongin says, then pausing to take another sip of his soda, "you keep staring at her like a creep."

Han elbows his side quite hard that Jeongin yelps, "and you didn't help at all," he grumbles with his cheeks full of food.

"You're hopeless," Jeongin easily replies and steals some chips from Han.

"And you didn't think that's why I need the help?" Han grumbles again and shoves more chips into his mouth.

Jeongin coyly shrugs as he drains his can of soda empty then proceeds to crumple it and toss it into the trash bin.

"Hey, what are you guys having?" You appear from the corner along with Jinnie.

"Where's Chris?" Jinnie asks while fixing her hair.

"He's inside," Jeongin points to the convenience store.

Han quickly swallows everything in his mouth and brushes the crumbs on the front of his shirt, "Do you want some?" He offers you his bag of chips.

"Do you have something sweet with you?" You ask.

"I do, I do," he eagerly answers, rummaging through the bag of snacks he bought and pulling out a pack of strawberry jellies, "I think you'll like this."

"Oh, no, I'm allergic to strawberries," you inform.

Han quickly pulls out another pack of snacks from the plastic bag, "How about this?"

You take it from him and delightfully gasp, "Oh, I love these."

Chan comes out with Jinnie carrying packs of drinks for everyone and without warning, he tosses the car keys at Jeongin, fortunately, he has a good reflex and catches it right into his hand.

"Your turn to drive," Chan says to Jeongin.

Jeongin doesn't say anything else but walks up to the car with everyone following him from the back.

Han opens the car door for you when Chan grabs your hand and stops you on the track, "You ride shotgun."

"Yes, sir!" You also obey without complaint.

"And you," Chan points at Han, "Get on the backseat!"

Han frowns that Chan purposely separates the two of you and reluctantly goes to sit by himself in the back while Chan and Jinnie sit in the middle.

From the back of the car, Han can only watch you share the pack of chocolate maltesers with Jeongin in the front.

-

After four hours of driving, the car stops for dinner and everyone gets so quiet once the food arrives.

Chan makes sure everyone has finished so he can have all of their attention as he explains what the next plan is. Before you can ask for his dessert, he slides his plate towards you.

"Can I have everyone's attention?" He says.

Jeongin is mindlessly stirring his glass of soda with the straw but putting his attention on him meanwhile Han is slowly dissociating so Chan snaps his fingers right in front of his face to reel him back to reality.

Han swats his hand away and groans, "I'm listening, I'm listening."

"Okay, so, we're not going to continue to drive," Chan announces.

"Oh? We're sleeping somewhere for the night?" Jinnie asks, then dabs her mouth with a napkin, "And I need you guys to sleep early tonight because—"

"Because of what?" Han asks as he lazily brushes his hair to the back.

Chan sighs because Han cuts him off instead of letting him continue talking, "Because we have to leave early tomorrow morning."

"And where are we going?" You ask, sliding the plate back to him. Chan glares at you for leaving a small piece of dessert for him and you grin at him in return.

"Let me guess, surprise?" Han says with a mocking grin.

Chan scoops the last piece of cake into his mouth and ignoring Han's insinuation, he has a way to get back to him.

"Who voted for Han to pay the bill?" He says with his hand already raised in the air and Jeongin is the next one to raise his hand.

"W-what? Why? Why me?" Han blabbers in a slight panic.

Everyone turns their heads at Jinnie and since two of his friends already voted for him, she follows the majority and hesitantly raises her hand.

"Sorry," she meekly mutters at Han.

When it comes to you, you hurriedly shake your head and refuse to be a part of their shenanigans. Chan intensely glares at you, pressuring you to also raise your hand.

"Please, leave me out of this," you plead.

Having no other way to make you do what he tells you to do, Chan grabs your hand and raises it in the air. He then triumphantly grins at Han until his dimples sunken into his cheeks.

"Everyone says 'Thank you, Han'!" He orders.

"Thank you, Han!" Everyone says in unison while Han is slumped on his seat, suddenly not looking drowsy anymore.

With the information gained from the restaurant staff, Chan easily found the motel a ten-minute drive away. Arrive there, he immediately goes to check in while everyone is getting their belonging from the trunk.

Without saying anything, Jeongin hands you a bag and you look at it for a moment until you realize that it's yours.

"Oh, thank you," you mutter.

You also take Chan's bag, it's so heavy and you bet he's taking his laptop and camera with him which only reminds you to be careful with it. Once he gets back with the room keys, you hurriedly hand him his bag.

"This one is for the ladies," Chan hands one of the keys to Jinnie.

"Got it," Jinnie says, linking her arm with you to start walking to your room.

Everyone is heading the same way since the boys are staying in the next room. You can't wait to lie down after spending more than ten hours sitting in the car.

"It seems like we're sharing the bed," Jinnie says, seeing there's only one bed in the room.

"Don't worry, I don't snore like my brother," you immediately remark as you throw yourself onto the bed and sigh in delight.

Jinnie laughs as she unpacks her bag, "Wait... Chris snores?"

You roll to the side and prop a hand under your head, "I thought you knew," you say.

"I've seen Chris sleeping but he didn't snore," Jinnie shares, taking clean clothes out of her bag.

"Of course," you talk to yourself, Chan wouldn't let his crush know about his sleeping habit especially something as bad as snoring.

"What's that?" Jinnie asks, hearing you mutter to yourself.

"I just remember I need to charge my phone," you lie, rolling over to the other side to rummage through your bag.

"Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?" Jinnie politely asks, holding her clothes close to her chest.

"Sure," you answer with your hand still groping around to look for your phone charger. Getting hopeless, you call for Jinnie as she's about to enter the bathroom.

"Hey, Jinnie, can I borrow your charger?"

She stops on her track and then puts her clothes on top of the dresser, "Sure," she says, going back to her bag to get it and give it to you.

"I think I dropped my phone in the car," she mutters as she looks through her bag.

"Oh, no," you mumble but an idea comes to mind.

"I can call Chris to help you find it," you offer, turning her misfortune into an opportunity to set them up.

"No, it's okay. It's probably under the seat of the car," she says but she looks worried.

"Are you even sure that you dropped it in the car?" You ask, making her doubt herself.

Jinnie looks concerned now that she clasps her hands together in front of her, "I don't want—"

Before she gets to finish her sentence, you hit call on Chan's number and he picks up on the third ring.

"What's up, baby sist?" He slurs his words, he's just as tired as everyone.

Without greeting him first, you talk straight into the phone, "Jinnie dropped her phone in the car. Can you help her find it?"

You hear rustles from the other end of the call and his tone changes all of a sudden, "Just need to get my car keys and I'll be on your door in a minute."

There's no need to plead or beg, you only need to mention Jinnie's name and he's ready to do anything, he'd probably move mountains for her too if she asked for it.

You hold the urge to laugh and calmly look at Jinnie, "He'll be here soon," you tell her.

"Oh, thank you," Jinnie says, canceling her plan to wash up and putting her sweater back on.

A few minutes later, the knocking comes on the door and Jinnie goes to open it. You peek from the side to watch the interaction.

"Heard you dropped your phone in the car," Chan says to her.

"Yeah, I hope I didn't disturb you," Jinnie says.

"Not at all," he immediately says.

Jinnie looks at you and you pretend to be busy looking at your phone, "Hey, I'm going out for a bit."

"Yeah, sure, take your time," you say with a smile then realize that you're not using the right tone.

"Hope you find your phone," you quickly add.

Jinnie is trailing behind Chan as they walk back to the parking lot and he hurriedly unlocks the car at the first sight of it.

"I'm sure it's somewhere in the middle seat," Jinnie says, opening the car door and going straight to feel the gap between the seats.

"I'll look from the other side," Chan says.

He walks around the car and looks from the other side, he turns on the flashlight from his phone and shines it under the seat. All he finds are candy wrappers and he knows who the culprit is.

"Let's get these seats up," he suggests, turning the lever to fold the seats and making it easier to search for the phone.

As they're busy looking for the phone, their heads meet in the middle, and bumps against each other. Chan reflexively reaches for Jinnie's head and rubs on it.

"I'm sorry," he says while giggling, "Are you okay?"

Jinnie can't answer as she's busy laughing and after taking a breath, she nods, "I'm okay."

"You know, it'll be much easier to call you," he says, coming up with a faster way to find the phone a little too late.

"Why didn't I think of that earlier?" Jinnie says, feeling embarrassed as she holds her hair from curtaining her face.

Chan looks for her number and presses the call buttons, he waits for the dialing tone while Jinnie looks around in the dark.

"Oh, I heard it!" She gasps.

The muffled ringtone comes from the back and Chan flips the seat to the front, discovering Jinnie's phone caught between the seats. With his long arm, Chan outstretches his arm to get it and hurriedly hands it to her.

"Thank God!" She sighs in relief and takes the phone from him.

Chan closes the car door and quickly locks it again, he checks by pulling at the car handle to know if it's locked for good.

"I was so scared that I dropped it somewhere else," Jinnie shares, clutching her phone close to her chest.

"I'm glad you found it," Chan says, smiling because he feels good knowing that he makes Jinnie happy.

"Thank you for helping, Chris," Jinnie sincerely says with a smile that is as soft as the moonlight.

Chan would do anything to see that smile on Jinnie's face again, he then looks away before it gets too intense.

"Don't mention it," he coyly says.

As they walk back to the rooms, their hands lightly grazing each other's, and on a nice, summer night like this, Chan feels tempted to hold her hand.

He looks down and her hand is right there, a grasp away from him. All he needs to do—

Jinnie draws her hands and crosses them together in front of her, "I'm so curious where you'll take us tomorrow," she says.

Chan clears his throat and shoves his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

"Trust me, you guys will like it," he confidently says, "especially you."

Jinnie looks at him with a bewildered expression, "Me?"

"Yeah," he nods and grins.

"That only makes me more excited for tomorrow," she says, hugging herself tighter as a gust of wind blows their way.

Jinnie stops right in front of your shared room, she looks at Chan who's standing on the door to his room, "Thanks once again, Chris."

"It's not a big deal," he says with a smile.

Jinnie knocks on the door and a while later, you open the door with your head wrapped in a towel, "Did you find it?"

"Yeah," she answers, showing you the phone in her hand.

"That's a relief!" You exclaim, then step to the side to let her in.

Jinnie looks at Chan for one last time and smiles, "Goodnight, Chris."

"Goodnight," he says back, and once Jinnie gets inside, his foolish smile drops from his face knowing that you're watching him.

"Get back inside. Lock the door and sleep!" He strictly orders.

"Yes, sir," you reply along with a salute.

You grab the handle of the door and take one more chance to poke fun at him.

"Goodnight, Chris," You try your best to copy Jinnie's soft tone of saying it and quickly close the door before Chan gets the chance to scold you.

-

When Chan said they needed to leave early the next day, Han didn't think it would require him to wake up at 6 in the morning.

He doesn't know how Chan did that because he was the last one to sleep but he also woke up the earliest and even brought breakfast with him when he came to the room.

"Your turn to drive today," Chan says, throwing the car keys and clanging against the floor as Han fails to catch them.

"Ugh..." he lets out an exhausted groan and picks them up from the floor.

Concerned with his state, Chan grabs his shoulder and squeezes, "You sure you can drive?"

Han knows that if he says no, then Chan will take the task from him and he doesn't want that, Chan already did so much. He's sure he's more tired than everyone.

"Yeah, I can drive," he assures him with a not-so-convincing smile.

The doubts linger in Chan's eyes, he gives him a pat on the back and then says, "You know what? I'll get you another cup of coffee!"

The sun is peeking from the horizon and slowly climbs its way out, the sunray hits his eyes as Han arrives at the parking lot.

He unlocks the car from a meter away and puts his bag in the trunk first before walking to the driver's side.

"Ugh..." he groans again with one hand on the handle of the car door.

The last person who drove was Jeongin and thanks to his long limbs, Han has to readjust the seat because his arms aren't long enough for the steering wheel.

He's yawning as he takes his phone out and connects it to the car stereo, at least, being a driver means he has full control over the music.

"Morning," Jinnie cheerily says, with a smile that shines brighter than the morning sun.

Something about her smile that makes him can't help but smile back.

"Morning," he says back, "Do you need help with the bag?"

"It's okay. I'll do it myself," She says, heading to the back of the car.

Not long after, Chan comes carrying bags on each shoulder but looking unbothered by them, he ends up helping Jinnie with her bag. Jeongin comes next, handing his bag to Chan before getting into the car and sitting in the back.

Han is busy scrolling his phone to compile a playlist for the trip to realize that everyone is already getting in except for one person.

He looks to the back and sees Chan sitting in the middle with Jinnie so that means...

"I have your coffee with me," you say, climbing into the passenger's side.

He turns his head to the back to check if Chan approves of this seating arrangement but he's already snuggled up in his hoodie to sleep.

"Americano, right?" You ask, handing the cup of coffee to him.

"Oh?" Han looks at you and then at the coffee.

The second he realizes that you're waiting for him, he hurriedly gets it from you, "Thank you!"

Sensing that the coffee is hot, he carefully puts it into the cup holder and turns on the car engine. He waits until you're buckled in to start driving.

"So, where are we going?" He asks in utter confusion.

You let out a chuckle thinking that he's joking and Han chuckles as well, maybe it is a joke that he didn't ask Chan where to go before he started driving.

"Chris said you only need to follow the GPS," you inform.

"Oh, yeah, that's right," he feels embarrassed to ask and even more embarrassed to say that he is not good at multitasking.

It feels as if you read his mind, you look at him and say, "Don't worry. I'm a good navigator."

The cool morning air is so refreshing that Han doesn't feel sleepy anymore and with every sip of coffee, he feels more awake than ever.

He looks through the rearview mirror and sees that everyone in the back is sleeping so that means only you and him are awake in the car.

"Oh, wow, look at that," You sigh at the view of the sun rising on a hill, "It's beautiful!"

Han briefly glances away from the road to see it but the view he sees is of you and your hair flying around your face basking in the soft glow of the morning sun.

"Yeah, it's beautiful," he mutters and looks back at the road.

He's only an hour away from the destination but he likes this scene, the view and the road ahead of him, the person sitting next to him, also the faint music that plays through the car stereo. He wants to stay in it for a little longer.

"I love this song!" You exclaim out of the blue as the playlist plays a new song.

Han recognizes the song right away because it's coming from his playlist and it's one of his favorites.

"You know this song?"

"The Beatles, right?"

"Yes."

"It's in one of the playlists you sent me," you tell him.

The playlist is Han's love language. When he likes someone, instead of flowers or chocolate, he compiles a playlist of songs that reminds him of that person and gifts it to them.

When he sent them to you, Han isn't that confident that you will heartily listen to them because it's just a playlist of songs and you'd barely see the romantic gesture behind it.

"I'd like to be under the sea..." you start singing along to the song.

"In an octopus's garden in the shade..." Han joins in on the second line while keeping his eyes on the road.

"He'd let us in, knows where we've been. In his octopus's garden in the shade..." Together you sing the rest of the verse while smiling as the sun is getting higher in the sky.

"In an octopus's garden with you... In an octopus's garden with you..."

The GPS says the destination is only ten minutes away and it's directing him to turn onto the small road with nothing but trees that line up on each side.

"Are we going the right way?" Han asks you in a slight panic, not seeing any road signs.

You check the GPS and turn to look at him, "You're going the right way, yeah," you confirm.

Han bends down to see if there's any sign of life or if Chan accidentally puts the wrong address into the GPS.

"I'll wake my brother," you offer, turning around in your seat and outstretching your arm to reach Chan who's still sleeping.

You manage to grab the sleeve of his hoodie and yank at it, "Chris, wake up!"

Instead of Chan, Jinnie is the one who answers your call, "Mmh, are we there yet?" She asks.

"We're not sure," you answer and yank harder at Chan's hoodie.

Jinnie notices you need the help, she places her hand on Chan's arm and gently shakes him awake, "Chris?"

On the second try, Chan finally wakes up to Jinnie's call and you roll your eyes because it's getting ridiculous now that he recognizes her voice well instead of his sister.

Han decides to pull over to the side of the road and turns his head around, "are we going to the right place?"

Chan pulls down his hoodie and quickly brushes his curls to the back, he closes his eyes for a moment to adjust them to the light.

One glance at the GPS and he slumps back on his seat, "Yes, it's right," he slurs his words.

"Why am I not seeing anything else but trees?" Han hesitates but keeps driving anyway.

"Just keep going," Chan mumbles, getting a bottle of water and drinking it.

A moment later, Han's doubt is answered as a sign appears in front of him and it says that the campsite is 100 meters away.

"Oh, my God!" Jinnie loudly gasps, making everyone in the car startle in surprise, including Jeongin who's just woken up from his nap.

She looks at Chan with eyes widening and sparkling, "We're going camping?"

With a stupid grin on his face, Chan answers, "Yes."

-

While the boys are busy setting up the big tent, you and Jinnie are making sandwiches for lunch. Jinnie does most of the work while all you do is unwrapping the cheese singles and preparing the loaf of bread.

This is one of those moments that makes you think how can someone be this perfect? Jinnie is beautiful, smart, kind, and patient, she's great at drawing and now, you find out she's good at cooking too.

"What can't you do? Really?" You praise in awe as she meticulously arranges the ingredients from the vegetables to the condiments.

She lets out a shy chuckle in reaction and doesn't let it get to her head, she's concentrating hard on putting everything together without making a mess.

"You're an only child, right?" You curiously ask.

Jinnie wraps each sandwich with a food wrapper and does it so meticulously as if she's wrapping a gift, "Yes, I am."

"Would you like a younger sister?" You jokingly say.

She smiles at you and hands you the first sandwich she wrapped, "I already think of you as a younger sister," she says.

You grin at that and put the wrapped sandwich into the basket, "We should make it official then," you teasingly say.

"And what do you mean by that?"

"You know... you can be my sister-in-law," you coyly say while paying attention to her reaction.

Jinnie shakes her head in disbelief and shyly laughs, "You silly!"

It's too obvious for her to miss it, right? She should have known that you're hinting at something and it's your way to cajole her to open up but in the end, you're always the one left puzzled by the mystery of why Jinnie and Chan's ship is not sailing yet.

The peaceful nature sounds are interrupted by the sound of Chan hammering the spike to pin down the tent while Jeongin is setting the canopy. He pauses once he notices that you're struggling to carry the cooler box by yourself. He rushes to get it from you and puts it down next to the tent.

As a form of gratitude, you grab a can of soda from the cooler and hand it to him, "Here!"

Jeongin softly smiles and it's enough to make his dimples appear on both of his cheeks, "Thanks!"

"Baby sist, I want one too!" Chan grumbles as he sits on the ground, also exhausted from setting the tent.

It's fine when he called you that ten years ago but as you grow older, he should know that you've outgrown that pet name. You let it slide because his friends got used to hearing him calling you that around them.

"Catch!" You warn before tossing it his way and he catches it right in his hand.

Jinnie comes not long after, carrying the sandwiches along with some snacks on the side, "Lunch is ready!" She announces, putting everything on the table.

Han hurriedly carries more folded chairs and arranges them around the table. Everyone stops working to huddle around the table for lunch.

"Is it done?" Jinnie asks while distributing the sandwiches around.

"Yeah, we just need to put the mat and sleeping bags inside but we can do it later," Chan answers, ripping through the wrapper and taking a hearty bite.

Despite it being the beginning of summer, there are only two other campers on the site. But that's a good thing, it's not crowded and it won't spoil the serene, relaxing experience of camping.

The lunch feels so rewarding, especially to those who worked on the tent and everyone gets so quiet after. You and Jinnie work together to gather the trash and put it into a plastic bag.

"So... what now?" Jeongin asks, glancing his eyes from side to side.

Chan crumples the empty can in his hand and puts it into the trash bag, "We're resting for now and we'll go hiking in an hour."

"Hiking?" Han asks in panic, not in favor of the idea.

"I told you to bring hiking boots for one specific reason," Chan explains, putting his hat backward and then reclining on his seat.

Han slumps on his seat and makes those high-pitched groans while flailing his arms in the air.

To avoid the harsh sunlight, the hike starts a little after three and the boys are tasked to carry a backpack full of snacks, water, and clean clothes.

The forest hums with life as the five of you walk the trail with the sun breaks through the cracks, lighting up the dirt path ahead, decorated with outgrown roots, wildflowers, and fallen leaves that crunch beneath your feet.

You're gazing up at the canopy, searching for the birds that sing sweetly against the soft sound of the wind whistling between the leaves.

Chan leads the way and once in a while, he looks back to check if anyone needs a break. Seeing that everyone needs a break, he stops on his track and turns around.

"Let's have a quick break!" He announces to everyone, then uncaps a bottle of water to hand it to you.

"Thank you," you mutter.

You lean back against the tree and reorganize your breath to finally have a long sip of water that quench your thirst.

"Is it still far?" Jinnie asks, taking a new bottle of water from Han's backpack.

Chan swallows his water and wipes his lips after, "About half an hour more of hiking."

Han takes off the plaid shirt he's wearing and hangs it on one shoulder, "And how long have we been hiking?"

Chan looks at his smartwatch to be able to answer him, "About 25 minutes."

"Fuck!" Han curses, scaring away the small animals hiding between the bushes, "Why does it feel like we've been walking for hours?"

"That's just you," Jeongin sneers, drinking his water like he's shooting an advertisement video.

"It's going to be worth it, I swear," Chan convinces, brushing his hair to the back before putting his hat back on.

Hanging on to his words, everyone continues the hike, following Chan's lead while enjoying the greenery. Jeongin catches squirrels running in between tree trunks.

"Han, say hi to your friends!" He says to Han.

Funny that Han decides to play along with it, "Furry babies, hi!"

Chan notices that you're getting exhausted as beads of sweat roll down your neck, "Here! Hold the back of my t-shirt!"

You don't see why it would help you walk, "Why should I?" You ask in utter confusion.

He grabs your hands and makes you hold each side of his t-shirt, dragging you along with him as he tirelessly keeps following the trail.

"I swear to God if it isn't worth it like you said..." you grumble as you feel every muscle in your legs strained and screaming in pain, and your mouth is dry from you constantly panting, running out of breath.

The scenery slightly changes the further you walk, there are no more dead leaves on the path and the rich earthy smell is soon replaced by water-saturated air.

"Oi, look!" Chan taps your hand and then points at the view ahead of him.

Getting a glimpse of what lies ahead, you walk past Chan to discover a view that is too beautiful for your eyes to comprehend.

A white, frothy cascade of water falls into a plunge pool with mist billowing out in soft clouds, creating a mystical atmosphere but when the sun hits and refracts the lights, a rainbow appears.

It's a waterfall, a majestic one.

"Be careful! It's slippery!" Chan shouts, watching you walk down the rocky outcroppings. He knows that there's no stopping you and you can't hear him anyway.

Han dashes after you with the backpack bouncing on his back, trailing after you like a puppy.

"I was right to trust you," Jinnie stands by his side and places a hand on Chan's shoulder, "It's worth the one hour of hike."

Jinnie shoots him a warm smile that makes Chan's inside melt and turns into jelly and in response to that, Chan unknowingly grins at her, the kind that shows how much of a fool he is for her.

Unbeknownst to him, Jeongin has been quietly watching this interaction, including the shit-eating grin Chan has on his face.

"You're pathetic," Jeongin says to him once Jinnie leaves.

"Hey!" He yells in disagreement but Jeongin ignores him and walks away.

Taking a little rest from the hiking, Chan sits on the sun-baked rocks while admiring the waterfall and the serene surroundings.

"This is a beautiful place to tell someone your feelings," Jeongin says, taking out a can of soda from his backpack.

Chan scoffs and plays dumb, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on!" Jeongin groans and subtly rolls his eyes at him.

"We all know you have feelings for someone," he pauses to gesture at the figure standing on the rocky perch, "There she is!"

This proves two things, their years of friendship and that Jeongin always observes, either way, he feels so caught by his own ineptness.

Worse, Chan decides to keep playing dumb and looks away even though it's too late for him to do that, there's no way he can escape Jeongin's observant eyes.

"Why-why should I..." he scratches his head in a slight panic.

"Just tell her how you feel," Jeongin says, "I think she feels the same thing for you."

At first, Chan wants to keep it to himself but since Jeongin knows already and it's tiring to have to keep hiding, he decides to tell him.

"It's hard," he openly admits with a heavy sigh, "We've been close friends for too long that I can't tell the difference anymore."

It feels so good that Chan is finally able to get that out of this chest and he knows he can trust Jeongin to keep it between them.

"And she's just... she's just perfect," Chan says with a hopeless sigh, he picks up a pebble and throws it into the water, "and I don't want to lose my good friend."

Jeongin leans back by propping his hands behind him and lets out a sigh, "It doesn't matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they're perfect for each other," he eloquently remarks.

"Wait, I think I heard that somewhere before," Chan's forehead wrinkles as he rakes his brain to recall where he heard this line before.

All of a sudden, Jeongin punches him in the arm, "It's from your favorite movie. Good Will Hunting!"

"Oh?!" Chan loudly gasps, it feels like a crime that he doesn't recognize the quote taken from his favorite movie.

"At this point, Han will beat you up to it."

"What?"

"He'll date your sister faster than you get to date Jinnie," Jeongin says with sheer indignation.

Chan's eyes dart at you and Han talking under the shade of a tree that stoops so low it's almost touching the surface of the water.

"Ugh, no, that can't happen!" He says in disgust.

"I bet he's serenading your sister with the jingle he made, again," Jeongin mumbles.

At the same time, Jeongin and Chan look at each other and start singing the jingle together, surprising themselves by how well they memorized it.

"Are you guys talking about me?" Jinnie jokingly asks as she walks by.

They immediately shut up and Chan turns his head away even though his eyes are searching for her, demanding her to always be in his sight.

"Are we waiting for Christmas to swim or what?" Han shouts, fussing like a child with his hands planted on each side of his waist.

-

Han once thought that if someone ever gets to see your body, he believes they'd turn to stone and that's because he thinks no one can handle that much magnetism and sex appeal.

Today, he gets to put that notion to a test even though he's risking himself to the possibility of getting petrified. He tries to keep his cool as you stand not far from him, tugging the hem of your t-shirt and then pulling it over your head, revealing the top half of the swimsuit you're wearing underneath.

So far, he still finds himself breathing and able to move his limbs but let's see when— he holds his breath as you unbutton your denim shorts and pull it down, slightly bending down to get it off your legs.

His eyes immediately travel down your body, admiring every curve of your body as you bask in the warm sunlight and the tiny droplets of water land on your skin.

You flip your hair to the back and slip your fingers under the strap to adjust it on your shoulder, his breath hitches as you pull it and let it slap against your skin.

Now, he's petrified. He knows he shouldn't be ogling at his best friend's sister, especially with her brother around but he can't help it, he's instinctively attracted to you like a moth drawn to light.

Jinnie offers her hand at you as she's already in her swimsuit as well, "Come on!" She says.

You take her hand and giggle as you slowly make your way toward the water with pebbles against the bottom of your bare feet.

"Ack!" You shriek, feeling a shock of cold water touching your feet then back to giggling again.

Han realizes that if he doesn't want to miss anything, he should get changed now. He gets up from the bed of rock he's sitting on and finds Chan is already hallway to get naked, exposing his muscular upper body, his pale skin shines under the sun.

"Show off," he mutters, placing a gentle slap on his abs as he walks past him.

"What's that for?" Chan says with a perplexed look.

The breeze plays with Han's hair as he treads the water and more droplets of water hit his skin the closer he gets to where you are

For a second, he loses sight of you until you emerge from the surface of the water, glistening wet with your swimsuit stuck to your skin, enhancing the features of your heavenly body.

You're saying something to Jinnie as you're floating in the water but the words are lost in the roar of the waterfall. With a grin plastered on your face, he doesn't need to hear it to know you're having fun.

"Hey, come here," you shout in his direction.

Han looks around thinking you're talking to someone else but there's no one else but him there. He looks back at you and you're already making your way to him.

"I want to show you something cool," you say, taking his hand and dragging him with you.

Honestly, he's willing to go anywhere you take him even if you take him to the pit of hell and sweat he'll follow you there.

"Now, we have to dive in," you say, getting to the center of the pool where it's deep enough for a dive.

Han draws a big, deep breath before following you where you lead him, he sees through the blurry water where your figure is diving to and then comes out of the water.

You wipe the water off your face and put your hair away, "It's cool, isn't it?"

Han doesn't realize it at first but once he rubs the water off his eyes, he's standing on the other side of the waterfall, and behind him is a tall, slippery wall of rock.

It's just you and him, concealed behind an iridescent wall of water.

"Yeah," he nods as he looks at you to which you respond with a smile.

Out of nowhere, two figures emerge out of the water and startle you both. It's Jeongin and Jinnie, discovering the spot and finding you both there.

"Wow! This is amazing!" Jinnie gasps as she looks around while wiping the water off her mouth.

Jeongin doesn't say anything but stands close to the back, his skin a contrast with the dark of the rocky wall behind him.

The smile on Han's face slowly fades knowing that someone has shattered the tender moment he's having with you. He looks at you and your eyes are nowhere near his eyes, the next thing he knows, you dive your way out back to the world.

The fun continues as you and Chan team up to fight against Jinnie and Han. He's carrying you on his shoulders and clashing you at Jinnie who also rides on Han's shoulders, coming at each other until one of you falls into the water. Thanks to Chan's strong lower half body, you won most of the time.

Tired from swimming, everyone is chilling on the big bed of rock, drinking and eating the snacks they packed while drying up under the warm afternoon sun.

With your fingers pruning up, you're struggling to open a bag of chips and someone takes it to help you to open it.

"Here," Jeongin says, after swiftly opening it for you.

"Thanks," you mutter.

Jinnie let out a sigh as she hugs her knees, "I think this is the most fun I ever had in a long time."

Han gets up from lying down and puts his arm around her shoulder, "That's true."

Chan triumphantly grins as he uncaps a new bottle of water, "I told you guys to trust me."

"I trusted you," Jeongin mutters in defense.

Chan points at Han as he drinks his water, hinting that he's talking about a specific person. Grinning as he sees Han feeling called out by that.

"I didn't say anything," he defends himself, waving his hand in front of him in strong disagreement with Chan's accusation.

"Yeah but you were like whining the whole hike," Chan says, giving him a head shake of disbelief.

"I didn't," he resists to admit it, then looks at Jinnie to seek someone on his back, "I didn't, right?"

Jinnie looks at him and then looks at everyone, "Well, I wouldn't call it whining," she says.

Han glares at her as he senses a but trailing behind Jinnie's sentence. He puts his arm away from her and grumbles, "You know what? I'll not say anything on the hike way back."

On the hike way back, Han doesn't whine like he promised but he makes grunting noises. Chan knows he wants to complain but he wants to stick true to his own words.

He guides the hike back with you by his side and he's been catching you looking back a few times. He scoffs, knowing his sister so well to know that you're not just looking, you have eyes on someone.

"Who is it, baby sist?" He curiously asks.

You snap your head back and look ahead, "Huh? What?" You play coy.

With his hand on your shoulder, he stops you on your track and looks into your eyes, "I'm your brother. I know when my sister likes someone," he states.

You sigh because that's true, you can't hide the things from someone you've grown up your whole life with.

"Yeah, okay, you got me," you say in defeat.

"I didn't think much about it then but now, he's always in my head," you share, surprised that you don't find it awkward to tell personal things like this with him. Deep down you know it's not awkwardness you feel, you fear that Chan wouldn't be accepting of your choice.

"So, what do you think?"

Chan softly laughs and offers his hand at you as support to climb the outgrown tree roots, he waits until you safely land on the other side to answer.

"Well, I don't really have a say on that, do I?" he says.

"As far as I remember, you're really against it," you say, reminding him of the same ultimatum he says to his friends plenty of times.

"Yeah, but you know, as long as you're happy," he answers, along with a coy shrug.

Out of the blue, he playfully nudges your shoulder with his, "Ooo, baby sist is falling in love," he teasingly says.

You shove him hard until he's staggering to the side, "Stop calling me that!" You slap his big arm with each word.

Chan is as protective as a brother can be but he knows that he can't dictate every aspect of your life, including the person you like. However, as your brother, his opinions matter and it feels good to know that you have his approval.

-

The sun is setting when everyone returns to the campsite, painting the sky with bursts of red and yellow, gradually sending the day into the calm of night.

Before it gets dark, Chan orders everyone to work for dinner, he and Jeongin immediately build a campfire and the rest are setting the gas stove to cook.

"Can I help you with something?" Han offers his help to you and Jinnie who's busy prepping ingredients for dinner.

Jinnie hands him a pot, "Can you fill it with water?"

"How much water?"

"Just fill it full," she answers.

"Got it!" He takes the pot with him and comes back a few minutes later, carrying the pot of water with a lot of focus and cautiousness.

"Where do I put it?" He asks in a panic.

Jinnie gets out of the way to make space for him, "Here! On the stove!" She says.

He is concentrating hard on putting it right on the stove without spilling a drop, "How do you turn it on?"

You look away from the vegetables you're chopping and notice something on Han's leg, it seems like he scraped his knee without him knowing.

"Goodness, Han!" You gasp.

"Wh-what?" He asks in panic, looking at you in worry when he should be worried about himself.

"Your knee is bleeding," you point at the blood gushing out of his scraped knee. You scramble to find something for his wound.

Jinnie gets ahead of you, she comes with a bottle of water to wash the blood and tells him to sit down as she runs to the tent to get a first aid kit.

"Does it hurt?" You ask, finally find a napkin for it.

Han is surprisingly calm about it as he gently places the napkin over his wound, "I think I hurt my knee when I was getting water."

Chan pauses on grilling the meat to know what the ruckus is about, "What's going on?"

"Hannie scraped his knee," you shortly answer.

Jinne comes through with her bag of first-aid kit and pulls out a tube of ointment, she takes a dollop with a cotton bud and with so much gentleness, she dabs Han's wound with it.

Han hisses and winces in pain, reacting to the treatment and Jinnie quickly blows on it to soothe the pain.

"I just need to put a band-aid on it," she says and proceeds to take one from the pack. She puts a lot of care into covering his wound with it then sighs in relief.

"Thank you, Jinnie," Han sincerely says while holding the side of his knee.

Jinnie looks up as she's kneeling in front of him and warmly smiles, "You're very welcome, Han."

Despite the minor incident, dinner was a success as everyone finished the food in under an hour, and there was no better way to end a tiring yet fulfilling day than with cans of cold beer.

The night brings such a silence that the crackle of the campfire is all that could be heard with the sparks flickering and drifting upward. The smell of smoke mixed with the sweet smell of roasted marshmallows.

Being the good brother he is, Chan hands you the smores he made and takes the stick of marshmallow you're still roasting.

"Thanks," you mutter, wasting no time to bite into that gooey, crunchy sweetness.

Han wants to do the same for you, he makes smores out of the marshmallow he roasted a little too long and nudges Jeongin by the elbow.

"Pass it to her," he whispers, asking for his help to deliver it to you.

Jeongin doesn't say anything but takes it from him and without hesitation, he bites right into it.

"Hey, I made it for her!" He scolds him, putting his hands around Jeongin's neck to choke and force him to spit the smores he ate. That doesn't faze him, Jeongin has another bite to finish it and has no problem swallowing it down.

Thinking that Han is mad because Jeongin ate his smores, Jinnie gives the one she made to him as a consolation, "Here. You can have mine."

Han looks at it and feels bad to take it, "I– It's okay, I'm full anyway," he lies with a grin.

The night is a special kind of blackness, the kind that wants only to hold the stars and help them shine all the brighter. You tilt your head up and see those stars like pinpricks against the dark of night.

"Woah, look at those stars..." You sigh in wonder.

Everyone else follows suit, looking up at the night sky and feeling the same feeling of awe. When we realize how vast the universe is, our matters suddenly feel so small, don't you think?

"I have something to share with you guys," Jeongin suddenly announces.

Everyone stops staring at the night sky and looking at Jeongin, some are merely curious and the rest are anticipating what he tries to share.

"Remember when I told you guys I auditioned to join the Royal Orchestra?"

"Yeah, a couple of times," Chan says, bobbing his head at him.

"Last month I got the letter," he shares further.

"Oh!" Jinnie gasps in excitement even though Jeongin is not finished with the announcement yet.

Jeongin looks down at the blazing fire that gnaws on the logs of wood, making everyone wait for him to continue. After a while, he looks up and finally announces, "Well, I got in."

"Oh, my Gosh..." Chan sighs in relief with one hand clutching his chest.

"Yeah, man!" Han gives him a celebratory punch in the arm then puts his arm around him, "I just knew you'd get in."

"Duh!" Jinnie eggs in, "You're a great pianist, they're stupid if they didn't let you in."

"Congratulations, Jeongin! We're so proud of you," Chan says, giving him a pat on the back and a proud smile that exudes his paternal side towards Jeongin.

Jeongin looks at you and his eyes drop to his hands, "Which also means that I'll leave soon," he continues with shocking news.

The smiles on everyone's faces slowly fade at that announcement, it turns quiet again as everyone processes that there's a downside to this happy news. Jinnie looks devastated and she rests her head on Chan's shoulder to seek comfort.

"When do you have to leave?" Han asks.

"Next month," Jeongin replies.

"So... this will be the last time we're going to be together?" Jinnie sadly asks even though she's on the verge of tears already.

"Guys, I'm not dying," Jeongin says with an attitude.

Everyone lightly chuckles at that, Chan rearranges the logs to keep the bonfire alive and looks at Jeongin.

"How long will you be there?"

"It's a two-year contract," he answers.

Jinnie sniffles and puts on a small smile, "Just promise us that you'll always come to our weekly video meeting," she demands.

Jeongin chuckles and nods, crossing his fingers together as he says, "Promise!"

"Two years isn't that long," Han coyly says, poking the burned log with a tree branch.

"By the time I get back, I expect one of you to already be married to someone," Jeongin jokingly says, secretly throwing a glance at Chan and raising his eyebrow at him.

"I'm getting drowsy," you say, stretching your arms up and tilting your head side to side, "I'm going to head in and sleep."

Jinnie lifts her head off of Chan's shoulder and crosses her arms together in front of her, "Yeah, I'm going to sleep as well," she says.

It's getting late and the night only grows colder, Chan decides that it's time to sleep. He volunteers to put out the bonfire while Jeongin heads straight into the tent.

After taking a quick trip to the bathroom, Han enters the tent and sees that the sleeping bags have been arranged. Jinnie takes the farthest right and you're sleeping next to her, bundled in the warmth of your sleeping bag.

The middle one belongs to Chan and since Jeongin takes the farthest left which means he's going to be sleeping between them. He slips himself into his sleeping bag and turns his head only to find that you're still awake.

"I thought you're sleeping already," he lowly mutters.

You don't say anything but smile at him with your eyes soft and tender, blanketing his heart with warm feelings.

When it occurs to him that he's sleeping in this shared space with you, he gets that fluttering feeling inside, a kaleidoscope of butterflies flying around in his stomach.

"Goodnight, Han," you lowly murmur.

"Goodnight," he murmurs back, not taking his eyes off of you until you turn your head to the other side.

Han continues to admire your profile from the side, your eyes, your nose, and the plump of your lips that he's dying to taste. You're so beautiful and he gets to enjoy that beauty as much as he pleases.

"I'm surprised I didn't find you snoring already," Chan says as he enters the tent and zips it close.

Then there's the brother who always ruins this special moment. Han turns his head away and scoots slightly to the side to make more space for Chan, knowing how big he is.

"Let's see who gets to snore first," Han dares him.

The next thing he knows, Han finds himself in the forest again and he can hear you laughing. He looks up and finds you standing next to him with your hair wet and your feet bare.

"Take you somewhere..." you vaguely say.

Han doesn't answer but takes your hand, together you're walking through the forest. He feels the rough stone handholds against the palms and fingertips and tall lush grass sliding across calves.

Then he looks at you and you're smiling at him, your eyes bright and droplets of water are dripping down the end of your hair.

"It's cool," you say, laughing at him.

He thinks you find something funny about him so he starts to grope his body around and checks what is it that makes you laugh.

"Come here," you say, giggling with your hand still holding his.

"What?" He asks.

"It's cool," you say again, then you take the straps of your swimsuit and pull them down your shoulders. You're giggling while keep pulling the straps down, revealing your bare chest to him little by little until—

"Han, wake up!"

The image blurs as someone shakes his body awake. He ignores it and tries to go back to sleep, hoping that he gets to continue the dream.

"Wake up!"

"Ugh... mmh," he incoherently complains and curls up in his sleeping bag.

"Just let him sleep," you say to someone.

Han's eyes snap open the second he hears your voice, he then scrambles out of his sleeping bag, disoriented with his hair tousled.

"Are you coming?"

Without looking, Han can tell that it's Chan's voice.

"I'm coming, yes, coming," he mumbles with half-shut eyes.

He shivers as cold air blows into the tent, he gropes around for his jacket with eyes barely open, "What time is it?"

"It's four," Chan answers.

"In the afternoon?" He gasps in shock, can't believe that he slept through the day.

"In the morning," Chan corrects him.

It's even more shocking that he wakes up at four in the morning when the sun is not even out yet. He opens his mouth to complain but he sees you coming into the tent.

"Chris, can I borrow one of your hoodies?" You ask.

Han grabs what he assumes is his hoodie and hurriedly gives it to you, "You can wear mine," he offers with a sleepy smile.

Chan takes it from his hand and then gives it to you, "Hurry up! It's sunrise in any minute now," he rushes him.

Han is barely functioning but he tries to keep up with the group, walking through the path in the dark of the night that still lingers and the stars that insist on shining bright against the bruised sky.

He rushes to walk next to you while hugging himself to shield himself from the cold, "Where are we going?"

"Just to the top of that hill," you answer, looking beautiful even with your face bare and your eyes puffy from the lack of sleep.

It gets tricky as the path turns into climbing the rocky outcroppings and it's a bit embarrassing that you're the one helping him not the other way around.

"There she is," Chan says, pointing to the golden disk that rises on the horizon with its honeyed glow.

It is the time when the day casts away the cloak of night and makes an entrance with a bright, gold light of warmth, making it known that she rules the day once and forever more.

Jinnie walks up to Chan's side and stands so close to him, arms brushing and elbows grazing.

"It's like you have to whisper," Jinnie murmurs, thinking that she would disrupt the serene view by talking loudly.

When Chan looks at her, he realizes one thing. Jinnie is like the sunrise, she doesn’t care if anyone watches it or not, she will keep on being beautiful, even if no one bothers to look at it.

"You know what, Chris?" She suddenly asks.

"Yes?"

"This is one of those moments that I'll share with my future husband and children," she says, her eyes set on the sun that keeps on rising, gently and swiftly at once.

Hearing her talking about the future makes Chan wants to make it all true for her and have the chance to tell her future children, 'Yes, Dad was there too'. Just the thought of it already makes him so giddy that he finds himself smiling.

Jinnie slowly rests her head on his shoulder to enjoy the sunrise together and Chan gets what she said earlier, he also feels like saying things out loud would only ruin the moment so he decides to keep it in his heart a little longer.

"Ugh! He's stressing me out," You mutter to yourself, seeing Jinnie and Chan sharing an intimate moment and instead of using this as an opportunity to say something, Chan does nothing but stare at her like usual.

"That's my hoodie," Someone says.

You turn to the side and find Jeongin there, "Sorry?"

"You're wearing my hoodie," he says, pointing to the hoodie you're wearing which you thought belonged to Han.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," you meekly say, torn between keeping it on or not, but you know you need it, it's so cold to take it off.

"That's okay," Jeongin says, leaning on the rock next to you.

It's hard to interact with Jeongin because he rarely talks, he only talks when he has important things to say or has savage takes on things. You hesitate to talk to him without feeling like you'll waste his time. Still... you muster up the courage only to get interrupted by Han's head lolling onto your shoulder.

You check on him and see that he's falling back to sleep. You quickly put your arm around him to keep the back of his head from hitting the rock.

"We should have let him sleep," Jeongin says.

"Yeah," you respond with a soft laugh.

Now that he's speaking to you, you use this as an opportunity to congratulate him, "I didn't get the chance last night but congratulations for joining the Royal orchestra," you tell him.

Jeongin brushes his hair to the back and then clears his throat, "Thank you."

"I went to one of your shows two months back," you share and instantly regret doing it, what are you expecting though? For him to thank you.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jeongin asks, he seems to find it important to know the reason.

"Well, I just... I don't know, I don't want to disturb you and I was with a friend anyway so..." you vaguely explain.

There's no other reason why you came to his show except to watch him playing his piano, you thought of seeing him after the show but you were afraid that he'd be too busy for that.

"We could have hung out. I'd treat you to dinner," he says while scratching his ear.

"That sounds nice," you comment with a smile.

"I'm not a cheapskate like Han," he jokingly adds with a soft laugh.

"Well, I was think— Oh!" You abruptly stop talking as Han nuzzles his head further into your neck and puts his arm across your chest.

Jeongin gets on his feet and makes you switch places with him. He takes Han's arm from around your shoulder, offering himself for him to lean on instead of you.

"Is Han sleeping?" Chan asks, noticing his friend is draping on Jeongin's shoulder.

"I told you to let him sleep," you grumble at him.

The walk back isn't as bad as the climb, Han is being dragged by Chan to make sure of his safe return to the campsite. Jeongin is tasked to brew coffee for everyone while Jinnie and Chan are making breakfast together. You volunteer to tidy up the tent and fold the sleeping bags.

Once you're done, you join everyone around the campfire and Jeongin immediately hands you a cup of coffee.

"Thank you," you mutter, holding it with both hands to absorb the heat.

Chan mischievously slaps Han's shoulder, startling him awake from his sleep and making him jolt on the chair.

"Time for breakfast!" He informs him.

He looks at him with wondering eyes, stretches his arms out, and then lets out a big yawn. Even with a barely functioning brain, Han knows that it's time to eat, he takes a plate and a piece of toast.

"Here. Have an egg," Jinnie says, sliding an egg onto his plate from the frypan.

She then turns at you and says, "You too."

You hurriedly grab a plate and mutter your gratitude at her, wasting no time to start digging in. Soon, everyone is stuffing their mouth with food and it gets quiet that you can hear the forest come alive around you.

"We're going to drive the whole day today," Chan informs out of nowhere.

"Can we know where we're going now?" Jinnie asks, taking a bite of her bread.

Chan pulls out something out of his jeans pocket, a piece of paper but he continues to unfold it open. With an excited grin, he turns it around and reveals a poster.

"How long have you been keeping that poster in the back of your jeans?" Jeongin curiously asks, then takes a small sip of his coffee.

Not getting the reaction he expected, Chan frowns and his shoulders slumped. Han snatches the poster from his hands and looks at it with utter bewilderment.

"What? Did you get tickets to this? How?" He asks with his cheeks full of food.

You don't recognize it at first until you see the logo of the band and gasp in surprise, "Am I seeing The Hare concert poster?"

The grin blooms on Chan's face once more, "More like the poster for their secret gig this Friday night," he humbly brags.

"What?" You ask again with eyes widening.

Han roughly yanks the sleeve of Chan's sweater, "How did you get the tickets?"

"Let's say I knew someone who knows someone," Chan cryptically says, deciding not to tell everyone how he acquired those tickets.

"Anyway, I think it's better if the girls take turns to drive first," he continues with the planning.

"Yep. It's best if you boys get some rest before driving all night," Jinnie agrees, already collecting the trash from around the table.

You're representing everyone when you say that Jinnie and Chan make a great team, they're the ones who came up with the planning and handled the financial stuff, and they make sure everyone is doing well and having fun. They're basically playing parents to you, Han, and Jeongin which adds one more reason why they should date as soon as possible.

-

Jinnie offers to take the first turn to drive and Chan is the last one to get into the car as he has to return the rented tent and pay for it.

"Everyone please make sure you've checked your belongings," Chan says as he puts his safety belt on.

Jinnie turns on the car engine and checks everything, her safety belt, and the angle of the rearview mirror, and then adjusts the seat.

"Do you mind if I play music from my phone?" You ask.

"Not at all," Jinnie replies, tucking her hair behind her ear as she backs the car from the parking lot and starts driving.

Not long after the car driving through the main road, Han startles in the backseat and then asks, "How long have we been driving?"

Chan glances at his smartwatch and turns his head to the back, "About 35 minutes. Why?"

"I want to pee," Han says, his face doesn't show any expression but it makes his face appear so round.

"Can you hold it?" Chan asks.

Han considers it for a moment then slowly leans back on his seat, "Yeah, I'll– I'll hold it," he doubtfully says.

"Distract yourself, you know, think of something so you don't want to pee anymore," Chan suggests.

"Think of the waterfall we went to yesterday," Jeongin playfully adds with a suppressed laugh.

"Hey!" Chan slaps Jeongin's arm, saying the opposite of what he suggested.

"I'll try to sleep," Han finds a better solution to detain his urge to pee.

"That's a great idea!" Chan says.

It's a good thing that Han is one of those people who can sleep anytime anywhere. He manages to sleep through two hours long of drive until the urge comes back.

"Guys, I don't think I can hold it anymore," he mutters, biting his lower lip until it turns pale.

Jinnie looks at him through the rearview mirror and sees how he can't hold the urge anymore, "The sign says rest area is only 10 kilometers away," she informs.

Han grips the headrest of Jeongin's headrest, "Okay."

"Are we good?" Jinnie asks.

"Yeah," he meekly answers.

"Just a few more minutes," you convince him.

There's nothing you can do to help him but you can relate to that feeling, you look back to check on him once in a while.

"Jinnie?" He calls again.

"Yeah?"

"Please step on the gas!" Han says, looking a little pale now.

Considering the urgency of the situation, Jinnie allows herself to go above the speed limit, she steps on the gas and the car picks up the speed, launching the car forward.

Sensing the change in speed, Chan wakes up from his nap and looks around in confusion. But the first thing he does when he gains his sense is check on Jinnie.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Han needs to pee," you answer for her since she focuses on driving.

"Almost there!" Jinnie says as she changes the lane to enter the rest area.

Han hops out of the car once the car gets to the parking lot of the rest area and immediately runs to search for the bathroom.

Once the car is parked, Jinnie lets out a sigh and leans back on her seat, "That was the most intense ten minutes I ever had in my life," Jinnie says.

Seeing the hilarity of it all, the three of you burst into laughter almost at the same time, making it one of those memorable little things that happened on this road trip.

The laughter wakes Jeongin up from his nap and he looks confused as to why everyone is laughing, "What's happening?"

No one is answering him but keep laughing until we're running out of air. Oh, there's nothing like the deep breaths after laughing that hard. 

-

Since they're stopping at a rest area and it's close to lunchtime, they may as well take a break from driving to ear. Everyone scatters the second they step into the food court to order the food they want. You decide on a bowl of ramen and get in the queue with Jinnie behind you.

Even though he's already carrying a tray of food in his hands, Chan stops next to the queue and scans the menu.

"Hey, baby sist!" He loudly calls you.

The people in the queue turn their heads to see who he calls baby sist, you hurriedly turn your back to them and glare at Chan.

"Please don't address me with that name in public," You scold him through your gritted teeth.

"Order a portion of fried dumplings for me," he says, ignoring your complaint and leaving with a grin.

Everyone gathers at one of the long tables in the middle of the food court with their choices of lunch, you slide the plate of fried dumplings at Chan and steal one piece with your chopsticks.

"You better not drink a lot of sodas if you have a weak bladder," Jeongin and his savage intake make an appearance.

Han pretends not to hear him and continues to stuff his cheek with more food.

The lunch is not enough, so everyone scatter once more to buy snacks. You're getting a bag of mini fish-shaped cakes for desserts and Han appears behind you with a big smile on his face.

"Got you ice cream," he says.

"How nice of you!" You delightfully exclaim.

"I don't know what you like so I chose three flavors at once," he explains the different flavors of ice cream in one cone.

"Thank you," you mutter your gratitude with a smile.

"I have to go for another bathroom break," he says with a grin lingering on his face, then leaves the other way.

The ice cream would make a great dessert if it didn't have strawberry ice cream in the mix. It's obvious that Han completely forgot that you're allergic to it, you can't eat it, or throw it away. You can give it to Chan but Han would know that you're not eating the ice cream he specifically bought for you and he would find that disrespectful, or worse, upset him.

Making your way out of the food court, you carry the bag of snacks in one hand and the ice cream in the other, still have no idea what to do with it.

Out of nowhere, Jeongin comes from the side, also carrying an ice cream in hand. He takes the one from your hand and switches it with him, a chocolate-flavored one.

"You can have mine," he says, not waiting to bite right into the ice cream.

Not only that he remember your allergy, but he also comes with a new ice cream and you find that endearing. You let out a mix of scoff and laugh, "I've never seen someone bite into ice cream."

"Well, there's always a first time to everything," he coyly says.

-

It's your turn to drive now and thankfully, you have set up an hour-long playlist for it. Jinnie remains in the front, sitting on the passenger's side and putting her legs up as she draws on her sketchbook.

The boys don't find it hard to fall back to sleep after a hearty lunch, you lower the volume of the music and only hum along to the song currently playing in the car to not wake the sleeping beauties in the back.

"What do you think?" Jinnie asks, holding her sketchbook out to you.

You keep the steering wheel steady to glance at the rough drawing of you from her point of view, then look back straight ahead.

"Wow. That's good!" You compliment.

Jinnie is a great illustrator, she mostly does illustrations for children's books and magazines which explains her exceptional talent for drawing.

"Please tell me you'll finish it and then email it to me," you say, already planning on making it your profile picture for your social media.

"I'll finish it when I'm not in a moving vehicle," she says, putting her pencil back into its case and putting it on the dashboard along with the sketchbook.

"I think it's cute," Jinnie says while stretching her arms to the front.

"What cute?" You ask with a perplexed smile.

"The way Chris calls you baby sist," she answers.

Oh, she must be talking about that little incident that happened back at the food court. You nod and tap your steering wheel to the rhythm of the song playing.

"Look, I don't mind when call me that in front of you guys. Just don't do it in front of a bunch of strangers," you explain, briefly shifting your focus to driving by a big truck.

"I mean... what if there are cute guys there and they heard it," you playfully remark.

Jinnie softly chuckles and grabs a bottle of water from the cup holder, "You're beautiful and smart, you shouldn't have any problems getting a cute guy," she says.

"That I agree!" You jokingly say with a sassy eyebrow raise.

When it occurs to you that this would be the perfect opportunity to have another crack at her, you arrange the words in your head before saying them out loud.

"I can say the same thing about you, Jinnie. You're beautiful and smart, except you have a lot of patience in you," you pause for a chuckle and briefly glance at her, "you shouldn't have any problems getting a hot guy."

Jinnie gets quiet and you begin to think that your words offended her in a way yet you give it another moment for her to digest your words thoroughly. She suddenly looks back, probably making sure that none of the boys are listening in on this conversation.

"I'm just a girl," Jinnie meekly says, lowering her voice as she slightly slumps in her seat, "All I can do is wait for the other person to profess their feelings to me."

Oh, finally! You manage to successfully crack her this time. You keep your cool and continue to crack deeper into it.

"I have to stop you right there!" You tell her with your hand raised, making a stop sign at her.

"You're not just a girl, you're incredible!" You may have exaggerated your tone a little bit but she needs to hear the truth in your words.

"You're not just beautiful and smart, you're kind, compassionate and you're strong and gentle at the same time. And if I'm being honest, I look up to you a lot," you openly admit.

"Aww..." Jinnie coos, she seems to be taking your compliments well along with a shy smile.

"And a girl like you shouldn't wait. A girl like you take matters into your own hands and you know, tell him how you feel," you encourage her.

Yeah, okay, maybe there's an underlying motive here but that doesn't make what you said to her a lie.

"It's a different thing when the person you like is your friend and you've been close with that person for so long," Jinnie sighs, her voice drops lower and she seems smaller than ever.

However, the mystery is now solved. Jinnie is indeed having the same feeling, she's hesitant only because they've been friends for too long. You get it that sometimes it's a bit scary to date someone who knows so much about you but if you focus on the good side, it means that they'll be more accepting and understanding towards your qualities.

If there are two people who truly deserve each other, it's Chan and Jinnie.

"Isn't that a good thing? You've known each other long enough to learn so much about each other and understand each other better," you give her your opinion and secretly glance to see her reaction.

Jinnie plays with the lint on her jeans as she digests your words while looking at the ever-changing scenery as the car keeps moving forward.

"You're right," she finally responds to your words.

Now, that you've tried your best to give her that little push, you can only hope for the outcome and hopefully, it'll be the best one.

"I know I'm right," you confidently remark, then burst into laughter.

Unbeknownst to you and Jinnie, Chan has been listening all along and behind his dark hoodie, he's smiling from ear to ear.

-

After stopping for dinner, the trip continues with Chan behind the wheel and Jeongin on his side. Jinnie takes the middle seat with Han and you occupy the backseat, using the extra space to curl up and sleep.

It's a bummer that you're not sitting next to him but this way, Han can easily look to the back and see you peacefully sleeping with a hand under your head, lost in your sweet dream.

"Hey, Han, can you get me a can of soda?" Chan asks without looking at him.

Since he's too busy watching you sleep, Han doesn't hear it the first time and snaps his head to the front, "What?"

"Get me a soda," Chan repeats while holding his arm out to the back so Han can hand it right into his hand.

Han rummages inside the small cooler box next to his feet, grabbing the first can that rolls into his hand and putting it into Chan's hand.

"Thanks!" Chan shortly says to him.

The road is eerily empty as it turns smaller from four into two lanes and the last sliver of sun has fully disappeared, replaced by the soft moonlight on a hot summer night.

Having nothing to do, Jeongin looks into the GPS to assess the route and the final destination.

"It says we'll arrive at 7 in the morning," he says.

"Yep, there's no hurry. We have plenty of time until the gig," Chan calmly says, still holding the soda in his hand, unopened.

Jeongin reclines on his seat and crosses his arms together on his chest, "And what we're going to do until then?"

"I booked us rooms at a hotel nearby," Chan informs, "we'll have some rest before leave in the afternoon."

"Hotel, right? Not motel?" Jeongin asks with suspicious eyes because the last time they stayed at the motel, he had to share the bed with Han.

"Yes," Chan hastily answers.

"I'm going to get my own room," Jeongin says.

"I thought you like sharing the bed with me," Han jokingly says.

"That's the least of my worries," Jeongin says, then gives each of them a glare.

Han pops his head in the middle of them, "Then what's the problem?"

Jeongin gives each of them a glare, "It's you guys snoring. It's like a whole orchestra in there but all the instruments are tuba," he says with a shiver.

Han grabs the front of Jeongin's shirt in response, "My snore sounded nothing like tuba!"

"How do you know what your snores sound like?" Jeongin asks, giving him the side eyes.

"Last time I checked it's Beethoven's Symphony No. 9," Han answers without a beat.

Jeongin leans at him and gives him a perplexed look, "What?"

"What?" Han asks back with daring eyes.

"Beethoven's Symphony No. 9," Chan says, finding himself giggling to it and his giggles gradually turn into laughter that fills the small, enclosed space.

Chan slows down the speed and holds the steering wheel steady with his forearms to open his can of soda. The second it pops open, the carbonated drink fizzles and spills out of the can.

"Oh, no, man..." he groans in complaint, seeing the soda get all over the steering wheel and dripping onto his lap.

"You made a mess, Chris," Jeongin grumbles, pulling multiple tissues out of the box and then handing some to him. He helps to wipe the droplets that somehow land on the console.

With one hand steadily holding the steering wheel, Chan keeps on dabbing the wet patch on the jeans with a ball of tissues.

"Ugh, it's sticky," Chan groans in disgust and then looks down at his lap to see if he misses anything.

The moment Chan's eyes are off the road, the headlights shine on an object that comes into sight, and Jeongin, as the only one aware of the deer standing in the middle of the road, reflexively grabs the steering wheel and turns it hard to the right.

Losing control of the car, no one can do anything to stop it. The tires are screeching against the asphalt as the car spins around, and eventually stops as it hits something with a loud banging sound, but no one is moving.

-

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[justanotherhh]

alastor and touch

just a post documenting alastor and touches throughout the show

I didn't include the pilot, but i do want to mention it, because one thing that's quite striking is how they changed that element from pilot!alastor to show!alastor somewhat. might make a separate post for the pilot at some point to compare

I also did a mix of when alastor noticeably doesn't touch someone directly and in what contexts he gets touched, as well as a couple of other related boundaries and moments of interest

ep1 overture: alastor doesn't touch anyone in this episode. also noting that this is the episode where we get him unequivocally turning down angel's advances, and avoiding being filmed several times, with the iconic "this face was made for radio" line, so not only is he not touching, he's also making some general boundaries clear

ep2 radio killed the video star: 1. niffty crawls up alastor and he picks her up and puts her down. she crawls up him again. he clearly doesn't mind 2. sir pentious rips off a corner of his coat. alastor blows him up -- he later burns the piece of coat that sir pentious had kept: "not many people have been able to take even this much off me." 3. the entirety of the vox vs al showdown is of course notably done over radio/tv, so they're never in the same room. just interesting in terms of how it goes down with them generally in s1, they're constantly kept at a distance via screens and airwaves

ep3 scrambled eggs: 1. taps an egg boi with his staff, while threatening it. generally uses his stick to interact with the egg bois -- pointing, tapping, etc 2. another brief "makes screen fuzzy on a security camera"

ep4 masquerade: notably the episode (with lots of sexual content and specifically valentino) where he doesn't appear, except for briefly in a flashback

ep5 dad beat dad: 1. shakes lucifer's cane, rather than his hand -- he also wipes his hand on his suit afterwards, as if disgusted 2. TOUCHES CHARLIE'S SHOULDER!! notably in front of lucifer in order to piss him off. then goes ONE STEP FURTHER and partially puts his arm around her when saying how proud they all are of her 3. grabs lucifer and spins him out of the way during his part of the song 4. picks niffty out of the toilet 5. during the song: dances with charlie, pats her on the head/tucks her in, and puts his hands on her shoulders 6. during the song: pushes lucifer aside again, including doing a little hip shove 7. lucifer grabs him by his lapels and gets right in his face 8. hugs mimzy 9. grabs charlie and steers her by the shoulders 10. grabs/strokes husk's ear 11. grabs husk via his leash 12. rips the bad guys apart with his tentacles. also picks them up with his hands and eats them 13. mimzy pokes him several times in the chest. he removes her finger in annoyance, and boops her on the nose condescendingly

ep6 welcome to heaven: the other episode that notably includes a sex club (and also heaven and a lot of talk about redemption) that does not involve alastor

ep7 hello rosie: 1. grabs charlie's shoulders, and then her face, forcing her to smile 2. grabs her shoulders again when talking about the angels 3. touches her hair, and then sidehugs her while selling her on the deal 4. DEAL HANDSHAKE 5. more shoulder grabbing, cheek pinching, and patting on head when he's talking about her being charming and capable 6. links arms with her while taking her to rosie 7. rosie joyfully grabs him and spins him around 8. grabs charlie when introducing her to rosie 9. gives charlie his mic in order to help her inspire the cannibals (later replaced with a cane given by rosie) 10. dances with rosie, including a little dip

ep8 the show must go on: 1. more attempted screen voyeurism by vox 2. charlie uses alastor's cane again to speech 3. niffty crawls over him again and places a crown of roaches on his head (possibly his most openly joyous moment) 4. fights adam using his shadow tentacles and creatures, before getting seriously wounded by him (and then has his famous mental breakdown at the idea that his reputation could have been blemished by having been read as altruistic of all things, *spits*) 5. the torn picture of alastor and vox shows them a little apart from one another 6. appears in the middle of the hotel gang and is hugged by charlie, patted on the back by vaggie, and also adorably hugged around the legs by niffty

GENERAL OBSERVATIONS: 1. other characters do initiate more touches, with husk being the other character who's more standoffish, but that's also his general slowly beginning to open up emotionally and he shifts especially with regards to angel after ep4 (although he does do casual pats and the like before that + the massage) 2. generally everyone touches casually in some way or other throughout the show, including in background moments, except for alastor, who always touches very deliberately, whether it's for violence, manipulation, condescension, or affection -- he doesn't seem to engage in casual touch, but does accept it from certain individuals (mainly niffty). for example in dad beat dad in which he initiates the most touches, he's pissing off lucifer and manipulating charlie. he hasn't touched her before this on the show proper, and he's doing it because he has an audience and is trying to convince both lucifer and her of something (that he's a better mentor/support system than lucifer) 3. similarly when he's being very familiar with charlie in hello rosie, he's selling her on making a deal with him, and then on making himself indispensable to her, while also grooming her*** [EDIT: been informed that this could be misread: "grooming" here meant in the general sense of mentoring her in a way that would benefit him, as he says "she's full of potential that i could guide," NOT in a sexual context] -- in true alastor fashion it's hard to say what's sincere and what's self-serving, but it certainly all serves a purpose 4. that being said, i think charlie has become a character he doesn't mind touching, just like he doesn't mind it with niffty, rosie, or mimzy. funnily enough the only time charlie initiates a touch with him is in the finale, when she's relieved he's alive 5. i think the kinds of touches from each of these characters is different. with charlie it's that aforementioned part-manipulation, part-mentor type vibe, where he's very much insinuating himself into her good graces and trust, with niffty it's because She Is A Creature Who Crawls, with mimzy there's a Past (and she clearly crosses a boundary because she thinks she can with him, and he puts his foot down on that), and with rosie there's a respect. before i did this noting down i also thought he touched rosie way more than he actually does, but he only does it once in order to dance (which, if anything else even applies, i think is his main source of actually enjoying touching others, i personally don't think he actually enjoys hugs, it's just a Thing some people expect of you), and simply acquiesces to her grabbing him in the first scene. again, i think he accepts this because he likes her 6. This Deer Does Not Touch Men If He Can Help It

CONCLUSION: if alastor respects you, he will let you touch him to an extent. he's not touchy himself, and mainly does it as a show of power, manipulation, and condescension (lucifer, mimzy, husk, charlie), but he likes dancing. he stays faaar away from sexual contexts in general

I also want to do a separate post on alastor and respect/closeness/familiarity, because i think it's worthwhile analysing how he expresses these things with characters on his terms (for example, giving charlie the mic says far more about his positive feelings towards her than any of the times he touches her), and it's mostly very clear when he's comfortable in a situation and when he's not

[joyce-stick]

The Beef Stroganoff Song! (arbitrary subtitle discourse edition)

So, you may have noticed here that the subtitles in this clip (from Symphogear GX episode 3) are fairly different from what you're used to seeing when people post this video, and the phrasing in the subtitles is fairly different from what the associated memes often say

For those who don't know, Symphogear got itself released on blu-ray by Discotek, and with that came with a new translation authored by Noelle (@ulsairi on twitter ) who is notable for being the only trans lesbian anime translator I know of off the top of my head.

Her translation appears, in my opinion, really rather polished and very good, and I strongly appreciate the way it's written and how much character it adds to the dialogue by giving everyone distinct voices and adapting things into more natural English. It's also a fair bit gayer. I haven't encountered many people who've seen these subs, but I think most fans of the series would consider these a net positive change. There are some people who are mad about these subtitles, and they can die mad.

Anyway, let's talk about the different phrasing of the beef stroganoff song. I'm mostly going to compare to Crunchyroll's subtitles for reference since that seems to be what most others go off of. Here's a link to that version.

So right off the bat we can see here that while CR's translation appears to be a lot more, for lack of a better word, functional, Noelle's translation tries to apply more dialectal force "it's beef stroganoff/Yes! It's THAT beef stroganoff!" And generally communicate through the tone how excited the girls are to get started. Additionally you'll see throughout that the latter is a fair bit more lyrical, there's a lot more punctuation and verbal tics and filler phrases written into the dialogue to express that they are singing, which makes sense since Japanese tends to omit a lot of the sorts of prepositions that Noelle threw in here,

Like, Yumi (yes I went and looked up her name on the wiki) just says "beef stroganoffu" because it's obvious from context that it is beef stroganoff, she doesn't need to spell it out, at least, not in Japanese

(We know like maybe ten hiragana and 1 kanji do not trust us on Japanese this is all just basic shit we learned from online guides)

So this probably leads to a rushed translator from Crunchyroll (they are notoriously crunched for time) who's just trying to Get It Done probably not really bothering to throw in extra additional connecting letters to express the tone of the character, only doing so when it's required to make basic grammatical sense in the target language. So they likely didn't think to make the subtitles have flourishes like this that aren't explicitly in the original Japanese. Noelle meanwhile had the time to consider things like this and take such liberties in order to attempt to convey the same tone that was arguably implied by the Japanese, even if not explicitly put forth

And that's about all the things I should not repeat I guess, TL;DR, these subtitles are more fun to read because the translator had more time to think about the best way to make them more fun while still being accurate to the spirit of the original dialogue, who'd have thought!

(In case you're wondering, the Commie subtitles say kind of the same thing here, and y'know, it doesn't seem like a wrong translation, but also I really dislike this subtitle styling, orange on pink with that font and that drop shadow is just kinda bad. I appreciate the effort but like. Come on. Please fansubbers, please think about if the font and colors you chose actually work with the image you're putting them on)

Moving on!

horizontal and middle rhyme with each other so you can almost actually sing this, actually let me take a moment to try it right now- never mind, I can't sing. Hahaha. I don't actually think it lines up that well with the melody But I thought it did! Didn't I? That's significant, that this actually reads like plausible lyrics to a silly song someone made up instead of a literal translation of a Japanese song

Anyway, here comes the first major difference!

So in the Crunchyroll subtitles, Yumi says "it doesn't have to be beef" which in English (in my estimation) sounds a tad scatterbrained, like, "oh yeah sure beef but whatever really it doesn't actually matter," while Noelle's subtitles rather say "Got no beef? Don't you worry!" Which implies something different.

"It is recommended to use beef, but you may substitute something else if you are sorely lacking in beef" as opposed to "Oh the beef doesn't actually matter, zoinks lol!" CR's translation is kind of a bit funnier in how it sorta comes from nowhere without this qualification, which probably lead to this phrase's memeticness, but Noelle's translation seems more reasonable to me so yeah again, tada, yay for sensicalness.

Now here's another interesting change:

Again, the flat manner in which the CR subtitles say "finish with salt" with rendezvous only being included because that's literally what they said, is sort of absent any stronger emotional implication,

Noelle's translation meanwhile going with "don't forget them, they need it" imparts personhood upon the salt and pepper. The implication being that the girls are saying, "the salt and pepper are in love, please reunite them, they must be in gay love together." Or maybe you think the salt and pepper cannot be forgotten and must be reunited because they are Only Friends.

Whether you choose to believe that this is the salt and pepper getting married, or merely subtext, or an interpretation, or salt and pepper shipping bait, this is a deeply important tonal indicator because it reminds you that these girls are ultimately playing with their food!

"And there, now you're in for a treat!" I don't think I need to explain this one.

Now, here's an interesting one!

In the Crunchyroll subtitles, it just says the memetic "boys don't know this." With no context, no elaboration, no clarity, no qualifiers. Boys don't know. Did the boys magically get their brains wiped? Are the boys biologically incapable? Who knows. Nothing is said but that.

Noelle's subtitles, on the other hand, qualify this statement by saying "Boys aren't taught to cook, so they may not know" (And note again how, it says "kno-ow" to emphasize, once more, that they're singing, and also this lines up with the long "ooooo" sound they make at the end of this lyric, so cool)

There is now context! Boys aren't taught to cook! Anime and Japan's culture in general still pigeonholes people into gender roles! And an anime translator just wrote you a hidden translation note about it! You might be a boy, you might know how to cook, but certain boys in another part of the world aren't traditionally taught cooking, so they may not know

They may not, but they could!

Trust a trans person to express gender facts with subtle nuances like this in anime translations.

And with that lovely bit of good translation and good writing and good localization of a thing to make it make sense to people

Mew!

[karniss-bg3]

I figured you’d be the right person to ask this question, why is Kar’niss’ skin super pale when he was originally a drow? 🖤

I had the same question myself and I did some digging a bit ago. All of the official drider concept art I've seen has depicted driders with dark skin, so it stands to reason that the transformation alone wouldn't be enough to alter his appearance. This leaves one interesting theory at play; Kar'niss was a Szarkai.

Szarkai, which translates to "ghost spiders", are albino drow. This is a very rare mutation that affects only 0.1% of the drow population. Their skin tones are so light in fact that they are able to pass as surface elves with little trouble. Some would think that this would make them outcasts but in fact Szarkai were viewed as a blessing of Lolth, hence their namesake.

There are some interesting crossover traits between Kar'niss and Szarkai that lean me more toward this theory, such as: -Szarkai look almost identical to drow outside of the skin tone. However, they have also been known to have minor deformities. The most notable is "gnarled and claw-like hands" which we know Kar'niss to possess. Originally I thought this was due to the transformation, but now I think he may have had it prior to the change.

-They are very adverse toward combat, preferring to let others do the dirty work so to speak. When the player engages Kar'niss in a fight one of the first things he does after his multi-attack is cast sanctuary on himself, protecting himself from harm and forcing his companions to take the hits. I also saw a video where someone cast banish on Kar'niss and when he returned he disengaged, healed himself, and ran from the fight. Now this was likely a bug, but it'd be on brand for Szarkai's desire to escape a fight rather than engage in it.

-They were mostly used as spies and gathering information since they could easily blend into surface societies. While there isn't much evidence that Kar'niss has much training in this field, what stuck out to me was the professions Szarkai favored. One of them is bard, and we have at least some notion that Kar'niss is linked to one musical instrument by way of the spider's lyre. I recall someone commenting asking if the lyre may have belonged to Kar'niss at one point and while I can't say with certainty, if it was and Minthara was merely holding on to it then it'd lend credence to him being a bard formerly. That and he's super pissed if you play it poorly!

-I haven't done a playthrough with Minthara in my party so I am not familiar with all of her dialogue lines. However, she does know Kar'niss in some capacity and the lyre is used to call him. Her last name is Baenre which is one of the most notable drow houses in all of Menzoberranzan, famous for Jarlaxle the leader of Bregan D'aerthe. I say this because Szarkai seemed to be far more common in noble houses, which Baenre would be. This could, even if loosely, establish a link between them.

IF this is true, that puts a very intense spin on Kar'niss' potential history. Szarkai were protected, considered valuable, and their existence kept secret. They were removed from drow life, and even kept in far safer conditions than others. This didn't mean they were shielded from the cruelty drow are known for but it was a different kind of cruelty. Often trained from a very young age to be spies and saboteurs, and subsequently being shipped to human cities to do as ordered. It makes me wonder what Kar'niss could've done to incur Lolth's wrath to the extent she warped him into a drider. Betrayal? Failure? Weakness? Or perhaps Lolth just really wanted an alabaster pet, it's hard to say.

Thanks for the ask!

[jrow]

May Prompt (17)

Day 16 here. Day 18 here.

Chaos

It is absolute chaos.

He closes his eyes for a just a moment. The constant screaming he can handle but the non-stop motion is difficult to handle. It pulls his attention in every direction and there is no order to speak of. His usual ability to predict the future is useless here and he has no idea what will happen next.

Not so different from the inner chaos he’s been experiencing these past few days. Entirely unpredictable. Often unbearable.

At least Rosie seems to be enjoying herself.

Thursday is park day. It’s a tradition for John and Rosie to come after nursery regardless of weather. John said Rosie had been inconsolable the one time there was lightning and they had to miss it. And today it’s unseasonably warm, so of course Sherlock insisted on taking her.

John had been … strange about the whole thing, though. Actually, John was strange anytime the subject of Rosie came up today. Fidgety. Uncomfortable. And he said some preposterous things. John seems to think that watching Rosie is some grand burden and that Sherlock must surely be eager for time alone at Baker street. It’s ridiculous—as if he’ll be spending one more second in that flat before John can be there with him.

He almost told John as much but that … well that would be revealing too much.

So instead he just rolled his eyes and left. Left to come to the park and enjoy the sunshine (along with every other family in Putney it seems).

He sighs and watches Rosie unsuccessfully try to climb up the slide. She makes it about halfway up before gravity takes over and she is back on the ground. A little boy quickly jumps over her to take his turn, only to meet the same fate.

He looks to the sky and thinks about the progress they made today on the case (in between John’s naps). It helped that their attention was no longer divided, now that they knew of the link between the thief and the hospital intruder. Although, infuriatingly, his brother is pointedly not telling them what that link is. The bastard.

Over the day, it became clear that the jewelry stores hit by the thief weren’t as randomly chosen as he previously thought. The appearance of disorder, chaos even, was a carefully constructed illusion—when he examined the full complement of evidence (including new video footage shared by Mycroft) he could see that every single element was intentionally done to look amateurish. Glass broken in inefficient ways. Cameras covered by crude methods. Alarms disabled almost by luck. But it was all planned. That changes the profile of who they are looking for quite dramatically.

He feels both guilt and anger about not seeing it earlier. Guilt because if he solved this sooner, John wouldn’t be in that awful hospital bed. Anger because the reason he didn’t is because he didn’t have all the facts. If he didn’t have Rosie to take care of, he might have gone to the yard to scream at a few people.

But, instead he is at the park.

He looks back at the slide but Rosie has moved to …. he scans the play structure and area around it, but doesn’t see her blond pigtail anywhere. His heart starts racing and he stands, eyes darting over the space. His eyes lock on the the stairs—she’s been known to enjoy playing in the cold sand under there, hidden from view. He quickly starts making his way over to peak in, but is stopped by that perfect little voice.

“Lock! I hiding!”

He turns and sees her, laying down beside the boy from the slide, behind the big plastic turtle. In his panic, he didn’t let look at the ground. And then he was so focused on the stairs that he walked right past her.

“Good work, Rosie,” he says, finding himself smiling.

John is an idiot. Rosie isn’t a burden at all.

@keirgreeneyes @raina-at @totallysilvergirl @meetinginsamarra @jolieblack @phoenix27884 @friday411 @calaisreno @quimerasyutopias @lisbeth-kk @safedistancefrombeingsmart @momma2boys @helloliriels @dapetty

[felassan]

Image credits: David Gaider [source link below]

Article: 'Who is qualified to make a world? In search of the magic of maps'

"You're travelling with your imagination..."

An extensive feature article about maps, map creation and world-building. It refers to David Gaider and the team's early world-building and early-days process of creating the universe that would become Dragon Age. It includes this early series of original sketches of the map of Thedas through time that Gaider drew when the world was being created.

Excerpts under the cut (due to length):

"Dragon Age. That's the game Gaider was working on - or rather, it was the world he would dream up. Ideas had been swirling about what Dragon Age would be for a few months. The team knew it would be like D&D but would not be actual D&D, because BioWare was sick of licensed games at the time. They knew they were going for Tolkien rather than Conan or Diablo. "We definitely had at least some idea of the kind of RPG this was going to be," Gaider tells me when in a video call. But BioWare didn't have a world. One day, Gaider was handed a historical atlas of Europe and tasked with going away and coming up with a fantasy world for players to explore. And almost immediately, he sketched a map." - "What is it about a map that gives it magical powers to bind us and pull us in? I wanted to know more, and through talking to David Gaider and learning about his creation of the map for Dragon Age, I hoped I might find out." - "In fact, he corrects me, "I sketched a lot of maps." But they were the same map, replicated over and over, because in order for a world to make sense to Gaider, it needed history. "I drew this coastline and then made a bunch of photocopies of it," he says, "and did this series of sketches, like, 'Okay in this era, this is where people lived and where they migrated and created different cultures,' and those cultures changed over time as they got conquered. Much like the book of European maps I had, I was doing it in eras and forming an idea in my mind about how these groups all mingled together. David Gaider was kind enough to share his original sketches of the Dragon Age world with me, and in them, you can see an emerging flow of history. You can see the spread of the Tevinter Empire as the race of Men lands in the north and then begins to spread out. You can see, in the earliest images, there's still a kingdom of Elves in the forest of Arlathan, nearby. Then, they are forced out by the growing Tevinter Empire, south to the Dales, where we encounter them in the Dragon Age games, subjugated to being a kind of slave race. Tribes give way to kingdoms, and names we're familiar with begin to appear." - Caption on the sketches: "David Gaider's original sketches of the Dragon Age world. Wherever you see a name typed in, it's because it was changed by EA's in-house sensitivity team, which cross-checked place names with real-world names in case there was a clash. The area of Antiva, for example, used to be called Calabria, but Calabria is the name of a region in southern Italy. "Well, if you do something with the Calabrians that real Calabrians don't like, they might get upset," the sensitivity department at EA told Gaider. "So I was like, 'Oh fine, I'll change it,'" he says." - ""My feeling on history when it comes to worlds," Gaider says, "is that you need to have a lot of it." Without it, he says a world will feel like a facade. "Sometimes you'll see worlds where they've made only what is needed for their current story, and it's like an old Western set: it feels right, it looks right, but then you slowly get a sense of, 'Oh, there's nothing behind those doors.' Before he sat down to draw, Gaider already knew some of the geographical elements he wanted. He knew he wanted a topsy-turvy 'South was cold and North was hot' idea for the continent, to play with people's expectations, and he knew he wanted a large waterway - that he likens to the Mediterranean - carving its way far inland. Today, we know this as the Waking Sea, and it's an incredibly important feature in the Dragon Age games. Gaider also knew he wanted islands far up in the north, from which an unknown race could invade. "I knew that I wanted an 'other' race that would come along," he says, "which ended up being the Qunari." Gaider also knew he wanted untouched areas for adventure, like forests and mountains, just in case the game would need them. "I didn't want every place to be so civilised that when it came time for 'we need ruins' or 'we need massive wilderness', we've got nowhere to go because I've civilised the entire thing," he says."

"Because remember, the team didn't yet know where the game they were making would be set. That's why so much of the continent you see in the sketches is as yet unused in Dragon Age games - the series hasn't needed all of it by this point. Continents are vast, after all, and realising them in 3D for players to explore is a mighty task. "I guess in my head," Gaider says, "we would be probably either on the north of Ferelden, on what became the Free Marches, or maybe off in the west more towards the Tirashan Forest or the Hunterhorns. That was a very wild area and I was like, 'That's a good place for an adventure to be.' Atlas at hand, photocopies in front of him, Gaider set about his work of growing a game world from a bunch of maps, and with not a small amount of trepidation. There was a lot riding on the world after all; it was a far cry from the worlds he'd created and freely abandoned as a teenager. "This is going to form the foundation, ideally, for a lot of games," he says, "and a lot of people are going to do work [on it]. And the trepidation is like, 'I don't know what I'm doing.' I'm essentially the equivalent of a 13-year-old just going, 'La la la, I'm going to call this Ferelden!'" - "Some things bother David Gaider about the Dragon Age 1 map, still, and they occurred when artists prettied his sketches without his involvement. "Oh," he said awkwardly when they were presented to him. "I didn't want it to look like this, exactly." He says they added a lot more rivers and mountains, and flipping between his sketches and the Dragon Age: Origins map, you can see some have moved around, or gained prominence, and places like Redcliffe have shifted. Apparently people would take to the BioWare forums after the game came out to complain about the map's geography. "And I'm like, 'You know what? You got a point,'" Gaider says. This is mostly anger at himself, though, for not doing more about it. Similarly, he wishes he'd been able to sit down with artists and work out what the rest of the continent you don't see in his sketches looked like, so they didn't have to have "the continent just keeps going..."-like messages at the edge of it. "But to where?" Gaider says. But it speaks to something he's noticed in his decades working in games about artists and writers. "They really speak two different languages," he tells me. They process things differently and they tend to care about different things. There were reams of history and lore written in a "world bible" for the Dragon Age team, but getting artists to read it was another matter. They wanted clear visual cues, not piles of backstory. Dragon Age: Origins eventually found its setting in Ferelden, the kingdom in the bottom right bulge of the sketches, so it left a huge portion of the sketched world unused, which the team presumed no one would ever see. "We thought that was going to be the only one," he says of Dragon Age: Origins. "That's why when you get to the end of Origins, there's so many epilogues that cast off far into the future, which, if we'd known that we were going to keep going and keep going with history, we wouldn't have said, 'Oh, in fifty and one hundred years, this is going to happen.' I think we would have played our cards a little closer to our chest. EA apparently found the game very old-fashioned and thought no one wanted turn-based role-playing games like that any more, which of course now seems ridiculous given the success of Baldur's Gate 3. "Baldur's Gate just goes to show how wrong people are when it comes to industry wisdom," Gaider says."

-

"Nevertheless, when Dragon Age 2 eventually was green-lit, the scope of it, and the focus of it, would completely change. With it, BioWare and EA would push towards a console RPG experience that stopped and started less, and had more action-packed combat. And EA only gave BioWare 18 months to make it, so BioWare decided to make a much smaller, more tightly focused game. It seemed like a good idea at the time. "People at BioWare convinced themselves that the fans would be okay - it'll be fine if it's a smaller game," Gaider says. "And I don't know why we thought that was the case, but for a moment there in time, we were like, 'Yeah, sure, it'll be fine.'" As for the mapping, a tighter focus meant centering on one place rather than a whole region, so the city of Kirkwall on the Waking Sea became the heart of the game, and BioWare developed a time-jumping idea for the game so you could see it at various different points in your character's lifetime, which I still think is really neat. And because there wasn't a large region to explore, the game didn't need a sprawling map, so BioWare turned the map on its side to give Kirkwall some height and majesty instead. It wasn't particularly memorable, but it looked nice. The game didn't go down well. "Its highs were really high, and its lows were really low," Gaider says now. "It was very unpolished. If it even got six months more polish, I think the reception would have been a lot different." More importantly, it meant everything would need to change again for Dragon Age 3." - "In Dragon Age: Inquisition, the third game in the series, the map plays a starring role. It's built into the game world specifically so you and your Inquisition advisors can gather around it and push pieces about as you choose where to go next. Thematically, this fits neatly with the theme of running an organisation like the Inquisition, but the map was also required to cover a lot of ground. One thing BioWare knew the moment it started making the game was that it needed to be bigger than DA2. This time, the game would spread across areas of Ferelden we hadn't been to as well as some we had; up to Kirkwall and into surrounding Free Marches, and then west to the city of Orlais and onwards until it reached past the Waking Sea and arid desert land. But the sense of scale was an illusion. Dragon Age: Inquisition wasn't a continuous, open world, but a fragmented one, made up of a few open-world-like zones, some small parts of cities, and many 'you can't actually explore there, but you can read about it' text-window interactions. Again, this was Gaider's idea, to give the game "a feeling of breadth" without needing the art department to render it all in 3D. By the time Inquisition came out in 2014, the world of Thedas - the name an amalgamation of "the" and "Dragon Age Setting" by the way - had been reinterpreted for three games and touched by many pairs of hands. Gaider's writing team had plugged the holes he, as a single writer, couldn't fill, and the art team had shown us what the world looked like. There was even, fittingly, a Dragon Age encyclopaedia released, compiling the teetering piles of lore and backstory, and maps and imagery that BioWare created for it. People were now joining the team who were already fans of the series. This was no longer an imaginary world; Thedas felt real. And perhaps it no longer needed Gaider to steer it."

- "So Gaider left BioWare in 2016, having worked there for 17 years, most of it spent on Dragon Age. Really, he'd had enough of wizards and demons, and Anthem wasn't the tonic he sought. Eventually, he'd move all the way from Canada to Australia for a fresh start, where he'd start Summerfall Studios and make a role-playing musical called Stray Gods, which was released last year. That game, incidentally, only featured a small map for travelling between city locations. Today, he awaits the arrival of a new Dragon Age game - Dragon Age: Dreadwolf - like the rest of us, having had no direct input. It's an anxious wait, as you can imagine. "I was Mr Dragon Age for ten years," he says, "so there is a certain amount of attachment. I'm not sure how I will feel when Dragon Age 4 comes out. I have a hard time believing that if I play it, I won't spend a lot of the time second guessing any choices I see, like, 'Oh, hmm, I wouldn't have done that.' What if they bring back some characters that I wrote? They're going to Tevinter so what if Dorian's there? Gah! I don't know; I am of two minds as to whether or not I will even play it." "It makes me wonder about these people who create worlds, who draw them into existence - whether that's in a preliminary sketch or a lavish piece of artwork - and whether there's always a point where success comes with the consequence of ceding control. Had Gaider kept the world of Dragon Age to himself, a photocopied map, folded and stuffed in a back pocket, we'd never have played it. And had millions of people not played and enjoyed it, I wouldn't be writing about it now and have that feeling when I look at an image of one of Gaider's photocopies, that I'm in the presence of something special, something powerful. But it's no longer Gaider's map, and no longer Gaider's world. It's all of ours."" - "For Gaider, maps are snapshots of history, photocopied slideshows explaining how places came to be. And of course they are, because he was thinking about Dragon Age when he started in on maps, which meant that he was thinking about geography, sure, but also the passing of time, and the way the latter affects the former."

[source and full article]

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-zelda-fan]

Why Tears of the Kingdom's Story Doesn't Work

While I will defend the lack of nuance in the text of Tears of the Kingdom, what I will criticize is how the story was executed. TL;DR: The writers tried to tell a story like Skyward Sword, but were limited by Breath of the Wild's nonlinear gameplay formula. Read on below the cut. Spoilers, obviously.

Let's start with Skyward Sword's story and how it was executed so well. There are three arcs: Find Zelda, find the sacred flames to purify the Goddess Sword, and seek out the dragons to find the Triforce. The first arc is notable here, because it's a suspenseful mystery. Link is constantly a step behind Zelda. He's chasing after her with no goal other than to just reunite with her.

The story is able to move from arc to arc and tell a story that evolves over the course of the game because of how rigidly structured the progression is. You will go from point A to point B, whether you want to or not. That way, the writers could drop the right story beats at the right time. It's traditional storytelling, because no other medium has the same level of interactivity as a video game, and it works. Regardless of how it feels to play, you can't deny that the story was executed very, very well.

Breath of the Wild, by contrast, is nonlinear to a fault. You can go anywhere, anytime. The writers were cognizant of this, so they wrote a one-arc story that was compartmentalized into four entirely separate plot lines. Link has one goal that never changes across the game: free the divine beasts to defeat Calamity Ganon. You go to one region, free that divine beast, then go to another at your pace and discretion.

Nothing carries over between plot lines. Nothing you did for the Rito has any impact on what is happening to the Gorons, because every plot line had be to designed so it could the first or last one you tackle. This approach deprived the story of depth or any sense of momentum. They aimed to make up for this with the memories: cutscenes that tell a linear story with more depth, but can be discovered in any order then rewatched in the proper order for the "complete" picture. Critically, though, the memories only provide context to the current events. Knowing what happened in the past has no bearing on the present.

Now we come to Tears of the Kingdom. They went the same gameplay approach as BotW: complete non-linearity. But they tried to tell a mystery story. This fundamentally fails because, like BotW, nothing carries over between the regional plot lines, and they should be impacted by the dragon tears (TotK's memories) but aren't. There are so many ways this falls apart. I'll talk about it through the order I played the game in: Zora, Rito, Gerudo, Goron.

Once Link returns to the Surface, witnesses Zelda appear and disappear at Hyrule Castle, and tells Purah what happened, she instructs him to investigate the odd regional phenomena. So he goes to Zora's Domain and starts working with Sidon. Zelda appears to them, and at this point, Link--and the player--has no idea what's going on. After that, Link goes to Rito Village, finds Tulin near the huge blizzard, and they see Zelda. Alright, something isn't adding up. By the time Link gets to the Gerudo Desert and sees Zelda there, he must know something is wrong. That is not Zelda, and it's pretty obvious at this point. But he still acts as if he knows nothing.

Finally, when he and Yunobo are chasing after her on Death Mountain, there is no fucking way he doesn't know it's not her. Yunobo is all like "oh no, we have to find Zelda! We have to go after her! Is she okay after going into the ceiling like that?" At this point I am screaming in my head, "Link! Tell Yunobo it's not her! You know it's not her!" Because Link is clever. He can put two and two together, so why the hell isn't he? Well, it's because he's doomed by the format of the narrative.

This is made doubly nonfunctional once you find all the dragon tears. Once Links knows that Zelda is the Light dragon, there is no way on God's green earth that he is fooled by the Zelda that he sees with any sage afterward. But he acts like he is. Brother, Link talks so much in this game. He's constantly explaining shit to people. They really got their mileage out of his "moving hands as if explaining something" animation. But when it matters most, he is fucking silent. It's disrespectful to the player's intelligence and Link's character.

Look. When you're trying to tell a mystery, as your audience's knowledge of the situation increases, your main character's knowledge needs to as well. If the character witnesses a major clue, they can't just forget that clue so they can discover it again but in a different place. It just doesn't work like that. There need to be bread crumbs. There needs to be momentum. There needs to consequence, cause and effect. Mysteries are linear stories. But when you try to tell this kind of story in the nonlinear way that this gameplay formula demanded, it does not work.

What kills me is that each of the four plot lines in TotK are well-written and fun (quick ranking: Rito, Gerudo, Zora, Goron). But through no fault of their own, they decline in coherence and satisfaction as you progress through the game. I can imagine that someone who played the order opposite I did was as mystified as Yunobo, but screaming at Link to just tell Sidon that's not Zelda.

The nail in the coffin of this story's nonfunctionality is that the longest side quest has Link going around Hyrule's stables, trying to find clues to Zelda's whereabouts. He works with Penn to investigate and set these stories straight. But once Link discovers that Zelda is the Light Dragon (or at least, that the Zelda who keeps appearing isn't really her), he should be able to tell Penn the truth. But he doesn't, because he can't for the side quest to function.

I managed to put aside how frustrating all of that is by rationalizing "well it has to be this way for the gameplay to work the way it does", and that's fine, but they didn't have to write the story they did. BotW's story worked because they wrote it in a way that it can be thoroughly enjoyed in any order. TotK's doesn't because they tried to have their cake and eat it too: tell a story with depth, but tell it in any order. They could have written a story that worked with the gameplay, but they didn't.

TotK did a lot of things right. On their own, I think the regional plot lines are more compelling than BotW's (especially the Rito one, and maybe except the Goron one). Having the soon-to-be-sages follow Link through the dungeons was a good choice. The search for a fifth sage provided a feeling of momentum that BotW was sorely lacking. And from the moment the search for the fifth sage starts, the story works just fine because it becomes linear. I had a fantastic time playing this game. I wouldn't have played it for over a hundred hours if I wasn't enjoying myself. It's just a shame it didn't turn out better.

[twig-tea]

City Boy, BL, and when Queerness is "Allowed"

Alright. @stuffnonsenseandotherthings tagged me in a post about City Boy and asked if I'd seen the show, because I hadn't mentioned it. I chatted with them in the comments for a bit and came around to what I want to say about this show.

For those who haven't heard of it, this is a Korean BL framed as "real"; the four actors play characters with the same names as their real names, their social media accounts treat the events of the vlog episodes as real to their lives (both their personal accounts and the show accounts, as far as I can tell), nothing on the channel says this isn't real, and the show is framed as though it's actually happening and is filmed by the actors themselves as slice-of-life, with some 'found footage'-style additions. The season is over, but the accounts still post shorts with the actors acting as the characters, and they still do lives "in character".

First, I've seen the show, and it's very well done. The acting is good, the chemistry is good, the visuals are good, the kissing is good, the story is good. If they hadn't framed the show this way I would have been shouting about it. If you want to check it out, it's on YouTube for free with subs. Check out stuffnonsenseandotherthing's post linked in the first paragraph for more about the show if you're curious.

But I was uncomfortable with the way this show has been made and marketed, and so I've stayed quiet about it.

Here's the thing. In addition to the very real problem that fans have with separating the actor from the character, chemistry from real feelings, and business gay performances from being freed from the closet, there is also something really insidious about the way people are allowed to be gay in play only, but real gay men are often hated on by fandom. The things "straight" (I put in quotes because a lot of assumptions are made all the time about BL actors) actors are allowed to do that gay men are not is infuriating.

Several months ago two of the men who appeared on His Man S1 decided to create a BL together. These are two gay men who were "shipped" by fans but did not actually date in real life. They filmed a vlog in the style of 'what their 1 year anniversary date would look like' (clearly labelled that way, but the video itself was immersive), and they got so much hate that they took down the video and backed away from making any more, and made a public apology. The criticism was that it was "cruel" to the feelings of one of the men acting in the video--infantalizing, insulting, and just more evidence that fans do not understand the difference between reality and performance.

I should say, the main shipped couple from S2 of His Man who did get together also make vlogs--real ones about their actual lives--and they seem to be thriving, thank goodness. They have more subscribers and around the same number of viewers as Cityboy_Log. But they had the power of being promoted by the show they were on partially behind their success, and they get a lot of suspicious comments about whether they are 'faking their relationship for views'. They are affectionate but not performing any heat the way City Boy does, and while they both seem pretty shy and not like they're dying to make out on camera anyway, I'm certain they have to temper what they do and show on camera in order to maintain their paid partnerships and magazine spreads. Ironically the same actions that are getting the actors of City Boy attention are what would likely get SeongHo and JunSeong "cancelled".

Anyway. All this is to say, CityBoy_Log is well done but I worry about it as a concept, and what it's setting its actors up for (and what its encouraging in fans). One change of not using the actors' real names would have been enough to make me cool with it, but it is what it is. If you're going to watch it, please watch it knowing that it's not real, and knowing that Korean gay men would not be able to make it either as fake or real content without being rejected by the audience.

[mymblesbuir]

Kalluzeb Playlist

I've put together a playlist, on Spotify [here] and YouTube Music [here], following Kallus & Zeb's relationship from bitter enemies, through Kallus joining the rebellion, them falling in love, all the way to their happily ever after on Lira San. The majority are from Kallus' POV but not all. There's a very wide range of genres and styles haha

Here are the tracks (with individual YouTube video links), some relevant lyrics from each and my thoughts on including them!

1. 1000 Points of Hate - Anthrax "I hate you and you hate me"

Pretty much self explanatory, this is where they just plain hate each other.

2. Love the Way You Hate Me - Like A Storm "I'd rather be a sinner than a slave / I'd rather be an outcast than just bow down and obey [...] I love the way you hate me"

Still about hating each other, with a hint of why this time. This one's more from Zeb's POV as a Rebel.

3. Bitter Rivals - Sleigh Bells "You are my bitter rival / But I need you for survival"

Obligatory 'Honorable Ones' forced-to-work-together track.

4. Violently (Your Words Hit Me) - Hue & Cry "Wrapped in a cold world of my own devising [...] Violently, you came to me / Said I could be / A different man, a different man [...] A frozen survivor [...] But you chipped away until some poor soul appeared"

Okay, this whole song is so them, it was really hard not to just paste the entire lyrics here. If you don't listen to any of the rest of these please listen to this one.

5. Dare You to Move - Switchfoot "Welcome to resistance / The tension is here / Between who you are and who you could be [...] Maybe redemption has stories to tell"

Another Zeb POV one. Switchfoot are a Christian band so this is probably meant to be about Christian salvation but I don't care, it fits.

6. Metalingus - Alter Bridge "The time has come to change my ways [...] Could you set me free"

I came across this one on a tumblr post by @mayawakening saying what a Kallus song it is and she's so right about it!

7. For Good (from "Wicked") - Collabro "Because I knew you / I have been changed for good [...] And now whatever way our stories end / I know you have re-written mine by being my friend"

I mean come on. I couldn't not put this one! (I picked this cover just because I particularly enjoyed the sound of it.)

8. Stray Italian Greyhound - Vienna Teng "But you had to come along, didn't you? / Tear down the doors / Throw open windows [...] This feeling calls for everything I can't afford to know / Is possible now"

Here we have Kallus realising he has deeper feelings for Zeb but not being at all prepared for them!

9. Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse "I'm desperate for changing / Starving for truth [...] I'm falling even more in love with you"

I struggled with where to place this in the order — the opening lines feel like they should come earlier, but the chorus has to come after the Feelings Realisation, so I put it here.

10. Beautiful Surprise - India.Arie "Whatever it is you came to teach me / I am here to learn it [...] You are inspiration to my life / You are the reason why I smile / You are a beautiful surprise"

Kallus definitely never expected to befriend Zeb, let alone fall in love!

11. Don't Deserve You - Plumb "Your heart was golden, how am I the one / That you've chosen to love? / I still can't believe that you're right next to me / After all that I've done"

Another one I think is supposed to be about God (all the "you"s are capitalised in lyrics listings), but hey, Kallus pretty much worships Zeb, right?

12. Gravity - Vienna Teng "Hey love / That's the name we've long held back / From the core of truth [...] This is the fate you've carved on me"

I don't know, this one just makes me think of them early in their romantic relationship somehow.

13. Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette "You've already won me over in spite of me [...] I've never felt this healthy before"

Probably neither of them have ever really had a happy healthy relationship before... Kallus certainly hasn't!

14. Too Good to be True - Kacey Musgraves "Please don't make me regret / Opening up that part of myself [...] Please don't be too good to be true"

I think it would take Kallus a long time to stop being in disbelief at Zeb actually loving him back.

15. If I'm Unworthy - Blake Mills "My time before was wasted [...] What if I'm unworthy of the power I hold over you"

Poor Kallus still feeling undeserving.

16. Music of My Heart - Gloria Estefan ft. *NSYNC "Helped me to free the me inside [...] You opened my eyes / You opened the door / To something I'd never known before [...] You got through when no one else could reach me"

Another pretty self-explanatory one I think!

17. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now - Starship "Let 'em say we're crazy / What do they know? / Put your arms around me / Baby, don't ever let go"

I'm sure a lot of people thought Zeb was crazy to ever fall for Kallus, but that's not gonna stop him.

18. We've Only Just Begun - Carpenters "Sharing horizons that are new to us [...] We'll find a place where there's room to grow"

Married life on Lira San time <3

[doubleddenden]

A little more beta stuff was leaked recently- this time focusing on Legends Arceus and Scarlet and Violet.

So first off, I won't link anything outright to my blog just in case. Find it on Twitter, YouTube, or Reddit.

Second, there's nothing about beta Pokemon so far- and I kind of doubt there will be in the files given the games were rushed to a degree. But it is strange, both have elements in them that could have changed the final games a bit- probably Arceus moreso, as SV's is more on the graphics side.

Third, i am not a leaker nor do i personally have access to the builds- this is strictly commentary on *videos* you can easily find yourself. This is simply just thoughts I have- some may agree or disagree, I'm not arguing.

That out of the way: Legends Arceus

So first of all, we finally have confirmation that the modern bedroom found in LA's game files (as in the final distributed product) was indeed a remnant of what would have been before the official beginning we got. There were storyboards with it that depict the player watching a professor give their "Welcome to the World of Pokemon" speech, then it zooms out to reveal the player was playing a game on TV, they take a break to scroll on their phone, then digital shenanigans happen on the phone and the player gets sucked into a whole in reality.

This is old news to some- but there's also unfinished animation that depict this, basically only modeling the player and the tv- the rest is grey. It seems to be an idea they were serious about, but decided to cut it- I think it's for the best tbh. I never have liked GF's "kids and their smart phones" rhetoric and this made it seek like we'd rather be on our phones instead of playing the game.

Onto gameplay, there's footage of beta Hikari (has a headband instead of the bandana) and a Unovan Zoroark running and JUMPING around in the field. They battle with a Luxray in what appears to be auto battling with some limited commands from the trainer. This actually validates certain leaks for Legends Arceus and perhaps maybe even pre SwSh? Anyway, they claimed GF were debating intensely on a new battling system, and I believe one even compared it to Digimon World Next Order- this certainly matches the description, imo, but definitely dumbed down and in early phases. These rumors would persist a while during LA's marketing phase, so the decision to change to the system we have must have been last minute.

On a personal note, I know there are a lot of fans that are tired of the turn based battling system, but I'm personally glad we didn't go down the road of auto battling. It looked awkward to watch, and also it would make catching pokemon hell because there'd be a chance to knock it out when it's in the red. It does need work for sure- but I would argue it just needs work on an animation, camera, and overall aesthetic angle rather than try to fully shift things to a new system you know they wouldn't get right for a long time.

Back to the facts- there also appears to be a very early and very janky ability for the player to ride their Zoroark? I think? At the least, although both models are running on top of each other (developer beta, keep in mind), the player DOES seem on top of Zoroark, who does seem to gain a massive boost of speed in response.

Side note- this does harken to the supposedly canceled game: Pokemon Rodeo, where you ride Pokemon around. I believe footage showed the area where Scyther hang out in LA, and the project had been worked on since 2019. Perhaps they wanted to try to implement it in LA, but they scrapped the idea for accessibility via the ride system.

It's also clear they wanted to do something with Zoroark all the way back here- they weren't kidding when they said Arceus would be a very experimental game, it seems.

Onto the next game: Scarlet and Violet.

Scarlet and Violet beta footage doesn't really glean much other than a similar build of the final product (and let's not kid ourselves, the game is clearly unfinished). However, there is 1 unused music track, I think, towards the beginning of the game.

There's also a much different LIGHTING and SHADOW system compared to what we got in the end. It honestly looks way better than the final product, and it meshes with the environments WAY better imo. Most likely it was changed to the inferior one for performance purposes, as the game did somehow run slower than before (in an emulator, but still).

Personal take- I know some people's gut reaction is to immediately blame the Switch for being "under powered," but do keep in mind it could handle BoTW, ToTK, Xenoblades 1, 2, and 3, and more while still handling pretty decent shading. It is curious, however, that ported games such as Red Dead Redemption or Fate/Samurai Remnant might have some issues in a similar manner (there are some leaks of pc versions of some of these games being leaked, but they require very specific pc builds that would make them harder or impossible to run on much besides dev kit or Switch hardware). I don't know if this would be an issue with creating with the Switch 2 dev kit and having to downgrade- we know that from other leaks, GF had been experimenting with improved performance on Switch 2 dev kits as of one of the earliest Indigo Disk leaks- circa Dec 2022 or early 23. However, I don't think they had the kit during early SV's development, as it started in 2019 or so after SwSh ended development, and the Switch would only be 2 years old at the time- I think this is simply poor management and direction from people TRYING to get that BoTW look, but not wanting to update their tech or habits to properly accommodate it and not wanting to take their time with it. I think we all understand there was just a maelstrom of things going wrong for SV's development from the Pandemic, to trying to follow their same flawed release cycle, bad management, etc. It's a tired topic at the least.

As far as other things in the actual build, there does appear to be a... well, honestly? BETTER pop up menu for the bag and menu. It's stylized in a pretty unique way that feels nice and organic to the game vs the final product. The bag menu sort of overlays to the regular game like the finalized start menu does, but cleaner.

I can only guess this was changed because it affected performance somehow- perhaps related to the game's strange habit of being lit up when the battle menu appears in the final product, or maybe just another slow down like usual. It's too bad, it looks really good.

Between the bag and the lighting system, I hope both come back for gen 10. There's serious promise behind both.

As for anything else worth noting- like the LA beta, the SV beta has a lot of unfinished areas, nothing really worth noting on that angle.

But picnics- those loaded way quicker before, despite the game running slower on emulator. And sandwiches? Well, they were planned back then, too. It does appear to be an earlier build, as the guy was somehow tossing eggs from UNDER the sandwich to the bun, and underhand throwing the top bun on top instead of the finalized orbital drop method we have for both.

The only other things worth noting is that the player had a Lucario and Staraptor on their team (the Lucario is interesting considering Unovan Zoroark was in the Beta LA build). However the menu displays other things instead, such as Charizard (of fucking course), Poliwrath (not available in game until Teal Mask), MUDKIP (wouldn't be added in until ID dropped), and Nidoqueen- who isn't available in the final game AT ALL. Of course, these are just menu sprites and none of these actually appear in the videos- in fact, other than the creepy blacked out Koraidon, Staraptor, Lucario, and I think Staravia flying around, I don't think there was a SINGLE other Pokemon visible in the overworld.

Oh, and it does appear that the initial uniforms were planned very early, as the blacked out model matches the overall shape. Personal note- I hope they got that out of their systems. I hated it so much, and it was probably another time saving measure planned from the beginning.

Final thoughts: it's interesting hoe the beta build seems to be Scarlet- idk if there's one for Violet specifically, but looking on it, a lot makes more sense from a Paradox design and story angle if you just assume Scarlet is the canon game. It's easy to think of how a Great Tusk can kill a man in Area Zero 200 years ago, not quite how a robot could- and the final explanation certainly doesn't provide satisfactory explanation as to how it arrived there before the time machine was built.

As for appearance: Some of this makes me remember an official game freak reveal of early SV at Game Freak's CEDEC 2023

And this is officially revealed info. The Snorlax is definitely photoshopped in, but the shading and rock textures look a lot like this beta build. It does look better than the final build, there's no real arguing with that.

Again, I'm hoping whoever in charge thqt needed to learn a few lessons DID, because some devs were clearly TRYING to make some ambitious ideas work but just couldn't on the time alotted or the programs used. I think I heard they wanted to transition to Unity or Unreal for the next games anyway, so maybe programming it will be easier going forward and we can finally achieve these graphics they wanted. Probably not with ZA, but it'd be a nice surprise for Gen 10 or something.

That's all. Have a nice day

[linghxr]

I watched all the Chinese idol survival shows so you don’t have to (but you should anyway)

About three years ago, I watched 创造101 Produce 101 China, and it kinda changed my life. Yes, really! This show dragged me down a rabbit hole that eventually led to me watching many more Chinese shows and listening to almost exclusively Chinese music. I’m even branching out to cdramas now. All under the guise of, um, improving my listening comprehension!

OK, so “all the Chinese idol survival shows” might be an exaggeration. I’ll be talking about these three classic idol group survival shows from the “golden age” period of 2018-2021:

>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)

创造101 Produce 101 China

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)

以团之名 All For One

少年之名 We Are Young

Here is the order I actually watched these 10 seasons in:

创造101 Produce 101 China

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

以团之名 All For One

少年之名 We Are Young

I started 创造101 Produce 101 China in late 2019/early 2020 and finished 少年之名 We Are Young on Christmas Day 2022. I was literally tearing up. Three franchises, ten seasons, something around 1000 contestants, and three years of my life.

In order to refresh my memory for this post, I rewatched almost all of the performance clips from these shows. I didn’t watch the initial evaluations or any practice room videos (it’s simply too much content). It was simultaneously fun and exhausting. I will go over why you should/shouldn’t watch each season and give any other notable remarks. Let’s get started!

*Please note that for any YouTube links below, there is a risk of muted sections, parts/entire episodes being unavailable, and missing/out of sync subtitles. For official links, whether or not a VIP subscription is needed may change in the future. Fansubbed content may have sections or entire episodes missing.

>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)

iQiyi rebranded the series by changing its name from 偶像练习生 Idol Producer to 青春有你 Youth with You after the first season. However, they really didn’t change much about the format at all. From what I’ve heard, iQiyi doesn’t have as large a budget as Tencent, which you can see reflected in the show’s production quality. However, I’ve long felt that this franchise has a real charming quality that makes up for lack of flashy sets.

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch via Idol Producer Subs (English fansubs, missing part of finale)

Why you should watch it: Though not China’s first idol survival show, this show was the first of a new era. It’s iconic! The theme song is a bop, 10/10. Also, I had heard of all of the winners before I watched this season, so there’s some real cultural relevance. I can’t believe it was nearly five years ago! The whole top 20 remains iconic to this day. In most seasons, there are at least one or two popular contestants who I don’t really like or don’t see the appeal of, but that wasn’t the case this season. This season is also a lot shorter than later seasons, so it’s easier for those who are new to survival shows.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, there is a lack of flashy sets/stages here. The background of the stage often looks empty. There were some performances that were better than I remembered, but there were others that were...not. I’m pretty sure 黄明昊 Justin was 15 when the show began, which shocks me in a BAD way. And if you’re a Jackson Wang fan, I think he barely appeared in the second half of the show.

My picks: 郑锐彬 Zheng Ruibin, 周彦辰 Zhou Yanchen, 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun, 王子异 Wang Ziyi, 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie, 周锐 Zhou Rui

Favorite performance: PPAP A组 PPAP group A This was a powerhouse group. And it was hilarious to watch the boys’ reaction when they heard the whole song and realized the style was not at all what they had initially expected! They totally pulled it off though.

Iconic moments: 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun’s outfit (and ego) in the initial evaluation, B-A-L-A-N-C-E, when we realized 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie can sing too, 林彦俊 Lin Yanjun's platinum hair, one of the songs was called Mack Daddy which causes me great distress to this day, 周锐 Zhou Rui aka 周美锐 Zhou Meirui, I’m still laughing over 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie’s resemblance to 胡巴 Huba.

Verdict: Though this was not my first idol survival show, I think it would be a great first foray for anyone. It’s iconic for a reason. You should watch it (and I might rewatch it). 

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch via Qing Chun You Ni Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: This season is the forgotten child of the franchise, but it still had some great performances and a lot of talented contestants. The theme song is also probably my favorite out of all ten theme songs! It was love at first listen. Personally, I enjoyed this team of mentors more than the first season’s. I also feel that the vocal-based performances were stronger this season. For instance, there were great performances of 李荣浩 Li Ronghao songs.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: I feel that some of the magic of the first season was lost, and overall the contestants were not as memorable or charismatic in my opinion. There were also several contestants I found extremely irritating and some contestants who ranked much higher and last much longer on the show than I feel they should have based on their skill level...but I won’t name names.

My picks: 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu, 李振宁 Li Zhenning, 周士原 Zhou Shiyuan, 连淮伟 Li Huaiwei

Favorite performance: 隔壁泰山 A组 Neighboring Tarzan group A This is a very unusal song, but it’s so catchy and memorable. 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu really made this performance for me. And this song still gets stuck in my head months later!

Iconic moments: 冯俊杰 Feng Junjie and 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu trying to outdo each other, 胡春杨 Hu Chunyang looked angry 24/7 for no reason, they literally got 蔡依林! Jolin Tsai! as a mentor, 李汶翰 Li Wenhan was everyone’s older brother, their performance made me fall in love with the song 耳朵 Erduo, they kinda did a steampunk concept which I love.

Verdict: It’s not necessarily a must-watch, but I still enjoyed it. If you’ve fallen into the black hole of survival shows and want more, I think it’s worth your time.

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (English subs) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)

Why you should watch it: As iQiyi’s first time with female contestants, this season was highly anticipated. iQiyi stepped it up with subtitles, got Lisa from BLACKPINK as a mentor (I saw people say they came for Lisa and stayed for the trainees), and made a lot of content available on YouTube. As a result, some of the performances from this season have millions of views. It’s well deserved—a lot of the contestants are overflowing with talent and charisma. And honestly, you should watch this for 蔡徐坤. He’s a great MC/mentor to the girls and was truly a highlight of the season for me.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: This is the only season that I watched week by week as it was airing. It was EXHAUSTING. iQiyi started pumping out two episodes a week, doubling the overall episode count. I was literally burnt out by the finale. So if you watch this, please take it slow. Also, I forgot how much they did that thing where they cut away from the performances to show other contestant/mentor reactions and then have to go rewind on the performance...it really drives me nuts. They overdid it for sure.

My picks: 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin, 喻言 Yu Yan, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan, 刘令姿 Liu Lingzi, 许馨文 Xu Xinwen

Favorite performance: 不奉陪 No Company This was a tough choice! I went with this performance because I actively sought it out for relistens. That’s so rare for 主题考核 theme evaluation songs for me. All the members got to shine yet they were a very cohesive team.

Iconic moments: Bad Guy was the ultimate dark horse, how no one knew the song 想见你想见你想见你 Miss You 3000, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan defeated the evil quads, 乃万 Nineone basically replaced Jony J as rap mentor, seeing 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin with a wig was terrifying, they let the girls wear shorts if they didn’t like skirts #feminism, I still think about 张钰 Zhang Yu and 王清 Wang Qing’s initial performance all the time.

Verdict: I don’t think I could rewatch this season due to its length, but if you can commit the time, I think you should watch it. I’m sad I’ll never get to see a second 青春有你 Youth with You female season.

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on iQiyi (no English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)

Why you should watch it: This season was probably the one I felt most emotionally invested in. I feel like I got to know the boys and was in it together with them (parasocial relationships, I know). And the friendships between contestants were so touching. Like 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, this season was also extra long, but I watched this season after it aired, going at my own pace. There were so many charming contestants and memorable performances. The dancing especially shone, but we got some great vocal moments too. I think iQiyi did a really good job picking songs this season.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Sadly, the finale never aired. Due to the infamous milk-wasting scandal, the show was cancelled (but a winning group still formed and debuted). Even though I knew this before watching the show, it was still quite sad to never see a conclusion. Additionally, I believe this show started with more like 120 contestants, and I felt that increased number. Lastly, there was some painful singing and lots of very uninspired rapping. I feel like the gap in skill between the contestants was larger, and some of the teams felt very unbalanced as a result.

My picks: 姜京佐 Jiang Jingzuo, 杨昊铭 Yang Haoming, 十七 Shiqi, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei, 张思源 Zhang Siyuan, 连淮伟 Lian Huaiwei

Favorite performance: 燕尾蝶 Wings of Love This performance was everything I could ever dream of. 徐子未 won the world over instantly. He has the voice of an angel. Love the song, love the concept, love everything about it.

Iconic moments: 罗一舟 Luo Yizhou and 余景天 Tony Yu Jingtians’s friendly rivalry, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei’s back-to-back victories, Yuta’s adorable accent, 王南钧 Wang Nanjun would not shut up about 竹 Bamboo, touch 梁森 Liang Sen’s head for good luck, 刘隽 Liu Jun dances like he’s possessed (in a good way), that 雨爱 Rainie Love stage was a trainwreck tbh.

Verdict: Despite the scandals and lack of a finale, it was worth the watch for me. I feel so fond thinking of this season. Truthfully, season three has surpassed season two for me.

>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)

I read somewhere that Tencent officially licensed the Produce 101 name from Mnet, making this franchise more “official.” For season two, they ended up changing the name to 创造营 Produce Camp. The Chinese name remained the same for seasons three and four, but the in English they started promoting the show under the name Chuang. I think they wanted to beat iQiyi in the contest to see who can have the most titles for the same show.

创造101 Produce 101 China

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, episode 7 here, episode 10 here) Watch via Produce 101 China Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: This is the only season I’ve seen twice, so that says something I guess! This season holds a special place in my heart as my first survival show, so I rewatched it earlier this year with some friends who hadn’t seen it previously. One thing that stood out to me about this season was that it felt like there were several dark horses who started to shine closer to the middle/end of the show. I liked this because it’s boring when the debut lineup is completely predictable! And if you’re not already a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, you will leave as a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, guaranteed.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Not gonna lie, I was not a huge fan of this mentor team. I am fine with these people individually, but together it was not an ideal combo in my opinion. They collectively made some very odd decisions that I strongly disagree with. After my rewatch, I’m just kinda done with 黄子韬 Huang Zitao. I also realized there were a lot more instances of...rough singing than I remembered, so be warned.

My picks: 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi, Yamy, 刘人语 Liu Renyu, 许靖韵 Angela Xu Jingyun, 吴映香 Lucia Wu Yingxiang, 李紫婷 Mimi Li Ziting

Favorite performance: 别人家的小孩 Other People’s Kids This is one of the most iconic performances (and one of my favorites) ever from all of these shows! It’s so unique and really has everything you could want. It was truly a perfect collab performance.

Iconic moments: When they had to tap 杨超越 Yang Chaoyue so she wouldn’t miss the beat, 王一博 Wang Yibo’s blue hair was gorgeous, Triple A group reunion, Look What You Made Me Do with creepy marionettes was perfect, when 陈嘉桦 Ella went barefoot on stage, 黄子韬 Huang Zitao literally screamed at them all, I’ll never forget the iconic 乐华 Yuehua performance.

Verdict: Even the second time, this was a season filled with surprises. It’s not perfect, but I think it will manage to charm you anyway. There are some real hidden gems here.

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs)

Why you should watch it: This was the first ever male season I watched, and I remember being apprehensive. I ended up having a lot of fun! This season really tugged at my heartstrings with the touching friendships between the boys and the intense 导师推荐生 mentor recommendees segments. I felt like I went through the wringer with them as they were forced to repack all their belongings, endure the brutal F班 demotions, hike across the beach, and more. There were countless hilarious moments too. If I were to rewatch, it would be for 周震南 Zhou Zhennan AKA 南南 Nannan. He just dominates the stage (despite his short stature)!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: I’ll admit, this season probably has the greatest number of contestants that annoy me. Sometimes it’s for no good reason...I just look at them and go ugh. The first round especially has some pretty painful singing, so be warned of that as well. Also, my rewatch made me realize I remembered very few performances from this season, which probably isn’t a good sign. Also, a lot of the performances were very short, sub-three minutes, which personally bothers me.

My picks: 周震南 Zhou Zhennan, 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang, 姚琛 Yao Chen, 陆思恒 Lu Siheng, 李鑫一 Li Xinyi, 贺俊雄 He Junxiong

Favorite performance: 开门见山 Kaimenjianshan I’ll admit that this performance was not as good as I remembered it being (probably because now I’ve heard the original by A-Mei many times), but I picked it anyway to acknowledge the amazing 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang.

Iconic moments: 张颜齐 Zhang Yanqi giving away jars of 老干妈 Lao Gan Ma, we never saw 王晨艺 Wang Chenyi again, 姚琛来了~ (Yao Chen is coming), when 周震南 Zhou Zhennan had his hoodie on but his ears were sticking out omg, try saying 李昀锐 Li Yunrui's name ten times fast, they had 30+ year old men here, this was the OG 乘风破浪 chengfengpolang.

Verdict: Among so many seasons, I don’t think this season stands out that much, but I still remember it fondly. If you want a good laugh and some fun, check it out.

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3) Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3) Watch on Viki (English subs, no Viki Pass needed)

Why you should watch it: They went all out on the sets, the location, the accommodations, everything. The performance setup was that the seats were in the middle and various stages were located around the perimeter. The seats would rotate to face the stages!! Some of the stages were stunning. I also want to mention that there were some great vocalists this season and I feel like they got to shine, which always makes me happy. The best round by far was the second round (专业方向). We got some beautiful vocal performances and intense dance performances.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: This season felt messy to me. I think they tried to mix things up, but not everything landed. The beautiful sets almost got distracting…they were more interesting than some of the performances. Several very talented and promising contestants never even made it past the first round. And since the final group only had seven people, the finale was just a frustrating experience. I never want to hear that 小摩托 xiao motuo song or 夏天的风 Summer Wind again. I don’t feel this season lived up to 创造101 Produce 101 China (unless you wanted MORE comments about weight/thinness).

My picks: 王柯 Wang Ke, 华承妍 Hua Chengyan, 刘些宁 Liu Xiening, 苏芮琪 Su Ruiqi, 朱主爱, Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai, 王一桥 Wang Yiqiao

Favorite performance: Manta There were a lot of performances I liked, but I really struggled to pick a favorite. I ultimately went with this because it’s one of the most memorable dance performances I’ve seen on these shows.

Iconic moments: That thin waist contest was simply the worst, they were in a literal castle, we all went crazy for the band and 王柯 Wang Ke, 朱主爱 Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai won the collab stage, wtf stop filming 姜贞羽 Jiang Zhenyu, I want to ride that cute train up the mountain, 毛不易 Mao Buyi did not want to talk, pretend that 吴亦凡 Wu Yifan wasn’t there.

Verdict: This season was competing against 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, and I chose to prioritize 青春有你2 Youth with You 2. I would make the same choice now. If you decide to watch, just be warned it may be a frustrating experience.

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed)

Why you should watch it: I wasn’t sure I was going to watch this season because of its international theme. Having foreigners is nothing new, but such a large number was certainly going to alter the show’s dynamic. Well, I watched it anyway. Overall, I’m glad I did. There were some talented and lovable contestants that made this season all worth it. The mentor squad (mostly 宁静 Ning Jing, 邓超 Deng Chao, and 周深 Zhou Shen) were so entertaining. Lastly, compared to the 2019 season, there were more popular vocalists this season, which I 100% support. I’ll be honest, I didn’t remember a lot of the performances from this season, but I ended up pleasantly surprised by how many great ones there were!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: It felt like there was so much focus on Nine and Patrick, Santa and Riki, the Intersection boys, and eventually Lelush as well. The other foreign contestants honestly had very little impact. This didn’t ruin the show or anything, but sometimes I got a little sick of the Santa and Mika show, you know? Also, none of my favorites made it into the winning group unfortunately. While I acknowledge the talent of the winning members, for whatever reason I wasn’t really that invested in most of them.

My picks: 俞更寅 Yu Gengying, 井胧 Jing Long, 林墨 Lin Mo, 奥斯卡 Oscar, 张星特 Zhang Xingte

Favorite performance: Lover Boy 88 This performance was simply infectious! I even made my friends watch to it. 林墨 Lin Mo is so charming. And 张腾 Zhang Teng and 张星特 Zhang Xingte’s vocals were perfect. Just wish it had been longer!

Iconic moments: Mika and 曾涵江 Zeng Hanjiang = my last two brain cells trying to communicate, I still can’t believe Lelush went viral worldwide, 刘宇 Liu Yu broke the Produce curse, Nine and Patrick only learned Chinese for how long???, Caelan kinda does look like Leonardo DiCaprio, Oscar AKA 熊熊 Xiongxiong, the 网红 wanghong group was so talented actually.

Verdict: I think this season got more international attention than 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, and while I prefer 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, this season is worth a watch for its uniqueness and improvements over the previous year.

>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)

I watched both seasons of Youku’s shorter-lived franchise in 2022 only after (and only because) I had finished the other two franchises. I think Youku had a smaller budget and thus tried to stand out by shaking up the traditional survival show formula. I think they made some poor choices and some good choices. I don’t know the story behind the name change between seasons, but the seasons are so different from each other that it makes sense.

以团之名 All For One

Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs)

Why you should watch it: I’m going to say a lot of negative stuff below, but I wanted to add at least a few positive words. During the finale, the remaining contestants sang S.H.E’s 你曾是少年 Wings Of My Words, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so emotional over a performance ever. 任家萱 Selina was a delight throughout. I also really grew to appreciate 奶茶 Naicha and what a great and thoughtful leader he was.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, this show had some unique features that made it stand out. The contestants formed ten groups of eight, and the composition of the groups remained unchanged throughout. Entire groups got eliminated together. This created a dynamic where some really talented contestants went home too soon due to their group. It also meant that some groups were popular really just due to having one popular member. In the end, one group won...but I guess they realized this was a bad idea, so they formed a second winning group of the most popular contestants from the non-winning groups. I didn’t like this format and felt is really negatively impacted my viewing. Personally, seeing new team lineups form is one of my favorite parts of survival shows. And because the leaders were constant, they had there was too much focus on them. Also, the mentors were so harsh all the time. Maybe it was deserved, but it really bummed me out to watch them constantly talk about how disappointed they were.

My picks: 奶茶 Naicha, 田书臣 Tian Shuchen, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao, 赖煜哲 AJ Lai Yuzhe, 热亚提 Reyati, 赵品霖 Zhao Pinlin

Favorite performance: 饕餮 Taotie This was not one of the performances that stood out in my memory, but it stood out to me when I did my rewatch. I feel like they really nailed every element, and I don’t think the other teams could have pulled off this song.

Iconic moments: 何展成 Jonathan Ha gave up on speaking Chinese and 袁娅维 Tia Ray had to translate for him, the 王霏霏 Wang Feifei and 孟佳 Meng Jia reunion, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao’s beautiful dance to a Shawn Mendes song, I’m not sure why 奶茶 Naicha chose milk tea as stage name, AJ vs. the hidden snacks, they made 周艺轩 Zhou Yixuan perform a UNIQ song.

Verdict: Maybe you can skip this one. I definitely didn’t devote my full attention while I was watching it. And it felt like the show and the mentors were being mean to the boys all the time.

少年之名 We Are Young

Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs) Watch via We Are Young Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: They improved on basically all the issues I had with the first season, and I was pleasantly surprised. Also, this is basically a 青春有你1 Youth with You 1 mini reunion with a few 偶像练习生 Idol Producer alums plus some future 青春有你3 You with You 3 contestants. It was so wonderful to see how the contestants I already knew had grown, and I loved seeing them get new opportunities to shine. There was surprisingly a lot of good raps/rappers on this show! Also, there were some truly incredible performances this season that aren’t like anything I’ve seen on other idol survival shows. And I enjoyed almost every performance—there were only a few that I disliked or thought were, um, not good. The mentors did not always agree...but I don’t care!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Because they have to be different, when doing the initial evaluations, only about 50 contestants advanced to the next round. This was nice because it meant fewer names/faces, but wow, it felt so mean. Sometimes I wished they had stuck to a more traditional format. Besides that, I don’t have much else negative to say!

My picks: 郭震 Guo Zhen, 寇聪 Kuo Cong, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie, 李希侃 Li Xikan, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng, 杨超文 Yang Chaowen

Favorite performance: Don’t Start Now I don’t think I’ve ever seen this exact concept on one of these shows before. This performance was instantly a standout for me, especially because it had some of my favorite contestants!

Iconic moments: They literally had a corgi, 林 (Lin) MUA, everyone shipping 薛恩 Xue En and 程潇 Cheng Xiao, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan in a CROP TOP, 胡彦斌 Hu Yanbin told 寇聪 Kou Cong to wear less to show off his body what, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng’s entrance through the pink smoke, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie really bungee jumped with his eyes closed, how 郭震 Guo Zhen, 左叶 Zuo Ye, and 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan were in the same group four times without anyone noticing.

Verdict: This season ended up being better than it had any right to be! I think it’s worth checking out, especially if you are missing the boys from the 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You series.

>> Conclusion

If you actually read this entire post, I’m thoroughly impressed. If you, like me, have spent way too much time watching these shows, feel free to send me a message because I need someone to commiserate with. 

I honestly have this weird feeling that a chapter of my life is over. I have so many treasured memories from watching these shows—moments of laughter, tears, shock, pride, and more. They’ve provided a way to ground my language studies and engage with Chinese pop culture. They made me feel less alone during earlier COVID times.

Well, I’m off to find something to fill the survival show-size hole in my heart...maybe I’ll just rewatch 偶像练习生 Idol Producer.

[dontcryminecraft]

I saw people sharing thier favorite animatics related to November 16th/cwilbur, so I'd join in!

SO, in no particular order-

WOLFY WILL BE APPEARING AGAIN AND AGAIN! WOLFY NEVER MISSES WOOOO! The lyrics are wonderful and i love the blind in one eye look, it's so cool! watching cwilbur spiral in limbo as they reassess everything matches really well with song!!!!

I LOVEEEEE knp!!!'s art style and the moments they add line up PERFECTLY! Every chorus going "i miss you" at a different point in cwilbur's life as the song follows him through his story!

this circulates in my brain about three times a week MINIMUM i know i keep saying but i won't ever stop screaming about the LYRICS FITTING THIS SO WELLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!11!!!!!1 He didn't have it in himself to go with grace!! *points over and over again* And he can go anywhere he wants! ANYWHERE HE WANTS! Just Not Home! *curls up and sobs* and cphil!!!! "YOU HAD TO KILL ME BUT IT KILLED YOU JUST THE SAME ... YOU TURNED INTO YOUR WORST FEARS" MY LORD ROZU

i said Wolfy would be back and here it ISSSS!!! i ADORE explorations of cfundy's rocky relationship with cwilbur 'cause THAT'S HIS DAD *cries* and then switch to CPHIL and the CTOMMY, ommmmmgggg *holds gently* the family dynamics. yet it focuses on cfundy and i think we as a fandom neglect that part of the canon family or at least i can never get enoughhhhh

So this is ABOUT Revivedbur, and features a lot of flashbacks from the l'manberg eras as it changes alongside cwilbur. It's ctommy talking to cfoolish about cwilbur and i think about this conversation so often it's wonderful to see it in an animatic! it really highlights ctommy's philosophy and relationship with c!wilbur! ToKtopus

oh this one is so heavy but also so beautiful and i love it so much. This is where I adapted the headcanon into my brain that cwilbur had a l'manburg flag sewn on the inside of his jacket, over his heart, at all times. the silent monologue of ghostbur until the line at the end about everything around him being alive, except him.

sometimes i think wilbur and tommy listened to two bird right before starting the pogtopia arc and went "hey we should base our ENTIRE dynamic this arc on this" and then went live lol. I love this artsyle it's so cute and fits each character so well! I love the eyes in particular!

O to the Z to the Y to the MANDIUS wooo!!!! this changed MY brain chemistry and this changed the FANDOM's brain chemistry! if you are new here watch to change YOUR brain chemistry! and then go watch the rest of sad-ist they were one of the animators who popularized and showcased the lore of the dsmp arcs! Wilbur connects this poem to his character and it's so awesome seeing it read out and put to an animatic!

The mix of stream quotes with music is a SAD-ist staple and one of my favorite parts of their animations it just makes everything so hype! This just showcases the pogtopia arc up until right before the final battle so well! i love it every frame is a screenshot *chefs kiss*

And the odd-ball choice! Not cwilbur or ghostbur or l'manburg related, but instead it's that Oncelor song about the SCHLATT ADMINISTRATION! There is a eye strain warning in the title that gets cut off in the link, so I'm letting you know here! this is a really fun video and the colors are very saturated and fun! It has great humor and i laughed multiple times all while being very foreboding about what's going on in the Manberg era.

annnnndd there is a ten video limit so instead I'm going to link the last two:

knp!!!'s animatic "Not Your Fault" which is about cphil and his feelings after killing his son, going through the guilt and blame and all that good stuff. The chorus of "it was not your fault but mine, it was your heart on the line. i really fucked it up this time, didn't i, my dear?" just KILLS me every time!

The follow-up to SAD-ist's animatic above is "Dawn of 16th" and is amazing as always for balancing the music with the dialogue to create and wonderful narrative about that day!

[sebaztianlovesgeek]

Listing off parallels the non canon parts of the black butler anime have to the manga

Most of the information I got for this list is from the video "Black Butler Season 1 is NOT that great" by @weebalu483 (who is also on YouTube)

Link to the video

(these are not in any particular order I'm just listing down things for fun)

Undertaker being a grim reaper

An animal based servant. In the anime it was Pluto, a dogman, in the manga and canon parts it was Snake, a snake man, they also look similar and have the same hair colour

Queen Victoria having servants dressed in white. In the anime it is Ash and in the manga it's Charles Phipps, Grey and John Brown. In the anime Ash later turned out to be an angel and I also theorize the 3 canon servants are also angels (I'm honestly not so sure about the double Charles but I'm certain with John Brown), I've talked about my reasons why in a recent post

The characters designs of Joker and Drossel Keinz are very similar, probably because the circus arc in the manga was ongoing while the anime was in production

Ciel getting framed for crimes and then getting betrayed by Scotland yard

Bard, Meyrin and Finny's backstories. While in the anime a few things were changed they were all basically the same as the manga. Meyrin was an assassin, Bard was a soldier and Finny was some sort of experiment

Doll/zombie creatures. In the anime it was the dolls Drossel Keinz had made using real life girls he had kidnapped and in the manga it was Undertaker bringing people back from the dead and calling them his bizarre dolls

Vincent Phantomhive. At the end of season 1 his full face and name was shown in a flashback while Ciel read Tanaka's diary. In the manga Vincent's full face and name was not revealed until near the end of the circus arc

Alois Trancy being a parallel to the real Ciel, many people in the black butler fandom headcanon that if the real Ciel was the one to survive the cults ritual and the one to make the contract with Sebastian, he would've ended up a lot like Alois

Sebastian doing the dirty with someone to get important information

Grell getting very jealous after finding out what Sebastian did

Ronald Knox. I know it doesn't really count much but he made a brief appearance in season 2 but he did not show up until near the end of the circus arc in the manga

I apologise if I missed something

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT ECOMMERCE NEWS (INCLUDING ETSY), LATE JUNE 2024

Welcome to my latest summary of Etsy and other ecommerce news, relevant for small and microbusinesses online!

Get these updates plus my website blog posts via email: http://bit.ly/CindyLouWho2Blog Get all of the most timely updates plus exclusive content by supporting my Patreon: patreon.com/CindyLouWho2

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

Etsy has yet again changed how processing times work for some countries, and this time, they’ve opted everyone into working on every national holiday. [post by me on LinkedIn, with screenshots] Many people are happy they can officially opt out of working on some days, but not so happy Etsy opted them in. The next day, Etsy clarified that this is currently only available for Canada and the US, and is only for national holidays, not regional or provincial ones. 

The old Etsy listing form disappeared as promised on June 25, and the new one is still a mess [post by me on LinkedIn]. Etsy claims to have fixed numerous issues with the new listing form, including manual translations, bulk editing, and sharing to Pattern. No word on the numerous pricing issues that have affected non-US sellers in particular through the domestic pricing tool, and that have apparently changed both variations and shipping prices for US sellers. The latest new listing form fix is the inability to save drafts, although it doesn’t seem to be working for everyone. 

USPS seems to have reused its tracking numbers early recently, with widespread reports of labels created June 18 and later showing as already being delivered in April or May. I’ve updated that linked Patreon post with info on how to get Etsy to correct their own records, so that seller protection and Star Seller status are not affected. 

ETSY NEWS 

Wondering if your images meet Etsy’s minimum size requirements? I did a video for you [on Patreon] so you can easily check for yourself. 

Etsy is still pushing shop loans through YouLend, “up to two times your monthly revenue.” Thanks to Michele from Artologica for the screenshot of the dashboard notification, and some of what you see once you click it:

and a link to the Etsy program at YouLend. Please read the terms carefully, as they get repaid through your future sales. It appears to be US-sellers only. 

There’s a new “Made for You” page with a lot of links to various features for buyers, but I don’t see it linked anywhere on the desktop version of the site. I also don’t really see the point, but maybe we’ll have to wait and see how they use it. 

Apologies for missing this one, but sellers in Turkey must now use “ShipEntegra” to mail orders, unless they already use another service. In effect, this means all new shops in Turkey are required to sign up and only ship orders through ShipEntegra, as of June 3. 

Apparently the “Buy More and Save” badge Etsy applied to some listings that already had multiple quantity discounts is just a test [item 2] per Etsy.

ECOMMERCE NEWS (minus social media)

General

Facebook appears to be removing links to EcommerceBytes on its platforms. 

Amazon

Amazon's "Subscribe & Save" feature will be available for products that are not Fulfilled By Amazon items, as of June 27. 

Amazon's Prime Day 2024 is July 16-17th. 

“Ad Relevance” is Amazon’s proposed solution to the end of ad cookies; it has AI at its core. 

North American Amazon orders will stop using plastic air pillows by the end of the year. 

Amazon is facing another lawsuit on copying successful sellers’ products and manipulating the Buy Box, this time in the UK. 

eBay

As of July 1, eBay will be charging most of its sellers more for Express Payouts: $2 each time instead of 1.5% of the total. 

eBay is now charging buyers of luxury wallets and handbags an optional $40 for authentication, for items between $200-$499.99. Items $500 and up are still authenticated for free. 

The eBay Summer 2024 Seller Update included new tools and renamed programs, but some of them had already been announced. 

If you are using the eBay seller app, watch for draft listings disappearing. 

Shopify

Businesses selling through Shopify can now apply to sell on Target Plus, a third-party marketplace that currently has around 1200 sellers. 

Shopify now has a chatbot for site owners, called Sidekick, but it is currently only available to English stores in North America. 

Walmart

Walmart+ Week started June 17th, almost a month before Amazon’s Prime Day. 

All Other Marketplaces

Just a few months after ending selling fees, Mercari is laying off a substantial portion of its US-based workers. It’s also still looking for new sellers, offering credits that can be spent on the site for opening a new shop and inviting friends. 

Payment Processing

Apple Pay Later is being phased out in favour of “Affirm”, a third-party Buy Now Pay Later app that will be available in more countries than Apple’s own product. 

Shipping

USPS hopes to change its non-standard package surcharges by region, charging more when the package travels further. 

[yxnderewrites]

Hi hun! So I'm a big fan of your writing and I have a request! Could you do a yandere alphabet with all letters with yandere Sam or Colby or all yandere emoji prompts with yandere Sam or Colby?

Just which one that sounds easiest! Sorry if this breaks a rule or is too much. Thank you so much if you do my request! Please take care of yourself and have a great day/night!

-💛

of course! and thank you so much!! 🥰🖤

i’ll be doing this request in three other parts which i’ll link once i finish them! :)

Yandere!Sam Golbach Alphabet (All Prompts) 🖤

Attachment: How do they become obsessed?

It was a love at first sight for Sam. When he first saw you, it was like something inside of him clicked and he knew that he just had to have you one way or another.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get for their darling?

He wouldn't get messy as he would be afraid he would let something slip or leave something out so that he would get caught. He wouldn't be physically threatening, but mentally threatening towards others, but never to the reader.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling when they kidnap them? Would they mock them?

Kidnapping would be a very last resort for Sam. He would only kidnap you when he realizes he is at a dead end. So, when he would kidnap you, he would treat you the best he can. So, no, he would never mock you once he kidnaps you.

Delusion: How delusional are they when it comes to their darling? Do they believe their darling loves them?

I think he may be delusional when you show affection towards him, but that is only so you could find a way out. So, unless he figures out what you're up to (which he would after some time), he would be delusional at those certain moments.

Erratic: How unpredictable are they? How quick are mood changes?

Sam would never be unpredictable around you. He wouldn't let you, or try not to let you, see his mood changes, whether it be because of you or because of someone else. So, his mood changes aren't very abrupt/quick either.

Fight: How would they react if their darling fought back?

He would be so upset. Not with you, but with himself. In that moment, he would realize his wrong-doings and try his best to fix the situation he put you in in that moment and every day after that.

Guilt: What would it take for them to feel guilty about their actions? Or do they feel guilt from the start?

Honestly, it wouldn't take much for Sam to feel guilty. Just seeing you cry would make him feel so guilty and so upset with himself that he makes/made you so upset and angry at him.

Hell: What would be their darling's worse experience with them?

In all honesty, it would just be the kidnapping, if it were to get to that point (which it would). He just wouldn't be able to truly hurt you in any way physically.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Sam would definitely want you two living together at some point in the future. Also, he would want you to appear in some of his videos and show him off, if he feels you are capable in being on camera "normally."

Jealous: What makes them the most jealous?

Whenever someone else is showing affection to you that only he believes he can show to you.

Kidnap: How would they go about kidnapping their darling? How much do they plan out?

He would plan everything very carefully in order for his plan to be flawless, as he would not want to go back to jail. So, he would have everything he would need as far as things he would need the day or night of acting out his plan.

Love Letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Sam seems like a very simplistic man in my eyes, so it would start with talking through messages, bringing up topics that he knows you are interested in, just don't ask how he knows those things.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they acted before?

Honestly, no. He would still be the same person as he has always been.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He can't bring himself to do physical harm to you, so the worst that he would do is isolation, but that's only if his anger gets the best of him, which is very rare.

Outrage: What makes them furious?

Whenever you ignore him for a long period of time, which is quite often at first.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Sam is definitely very patient with his darling because he has an understanding of why you may be upset and/or angry, so he would be very patient with you.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

The brief answer is no. If you died, he would become hollow inside pretty much and almost leave the face on the earth on social media. If you left or successfully escaped, he would be up all day and all night searching for you, even if it would take days, weeks, and/or months.

Rage: How do they act when angry? How do they calm down?

He mostly just yells/screams, whether at you or just at nothing. He mostly calms down by trying to get some reassurance from you, if it ever gets to that point.

Self-Indulgent: How possessive are they? (if at all?)

Sam is very possessive over you rather than obsessive in my mind. He would absolutely be overly possessive over you, mainly in social events (for obvious reasons of course).

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry and/or isolate themselves?

His heart would literally shatter into pieces because he would know that he is the cause for your tears and your isolation away from him. Even though he knows this, he would try his best in any way to comfort you to the best of his ability.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He would perhaps give you slightly more freedom in a shorter span of time since as mentioned before, he wouldn't like to isolate you too much.

Vicious: How vicious can they get?

Honestly, not at all. Sam is someone who tries to keep calm when he's around you all the time and most of the time, it does work.

Weakness: What weaknesses can their darling exploit in order to escape?

In my mind, Sam loves spending time with you, whether it just be sitting next to him while he's editing a video or you and him are watching something together. With that, he would let you be by yourself more often as he would think you have trusted him fully.

Xenodochia: How quickly would their darling cut them off after escape?

It would be hard for a long time because Sam would treat you very well throughout being with him. So, it would be very difficult for you since he would almost give you everything you could ever dream of and more.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As mentioned before, Sam is very patient when it comes to you, so maybe half a year to a year, depending on what may happen.

Zero Tolerance: What is the thing that always makes them snap? What things would they not allow their darling to do under any circumstances?

Whenever you talk about someone that has done you wrong (which he knows, just don't ask how) since he knows that they were not good to you and should only talk about the positives in your life.