#HOW TO LIVE WITH MEANING- how to Motivational

[kyri45]

A final letter

Hello Everyone!

The queue is paused and everything is scheduled, which means we are ready for the finale!

I know that, in the end, this was just a silly side project for me, with everything else going on in my life. But for this occasion, I wanted to drop some words here and hope they make sense.

I started watching LMK only because a friend told me there was a "Sonadow-coded" ship. I ended up consuming the entire thing in one sitting on July 10th, 2024. At the time, I was still recovering from a bike accident that had left me with a broken right forearm—unable to draw for a little over a month. (I did try drawing with my left finger, but it wasn't exactly fun.)

Not only that, but it was summer, and I couldn’t enjoy the season or practice my main sport, windsurfing. To say I was feeling the blues is an understatement. I remember being in physical pain just from not being able to draw my sillies. But then, watching LMK did something to my brain chemistry that my little undiagnosed autistic self had never experienced before. It hit so hard that I’ve been physically unable to rewatch the show SINCE that very first day. (And y’all still call me the CEO of this fandom. Bro, I just work here.)

A lot of you have asked what inspired me to start this comic or to draw LMK fan art in the first place. While my usual answer is, "I saw Shadowpeach and thought MK could be their lovechild, given his appearance," the moment that actually started it all was THIS ONE—

(I HAD TO REWATCH THIS SCENE TO MAKE THE GIF AND IT HURT ME ON A MOLECOLAR LEVEL)

I have… a thing for characters who discover their entire identity was something else all along. It consumes my thoughts, my dreams, my every waking moment. I live for identity crises, for characters who thought they knew who they were, only to be forced to rediscover themselves, their existence, and their place in the world. If you give me a story where a character has to go through that, I will like it—regardless of how bad the rest of the story is.

Pair that with loads of trauma, daddy issues, the pressure of a legacy, and world-ending stakes, and congrats! Now I’m obsessed, and I will not stop thinking about it for the rest of my days!

At first, my brain just wanted to release some of that energy with a small, four-panel post about the monkeys discovering that MK was technically their kid.

That was supposed to be it.

But since I never seem to learn my lesson, it didn’t stay like that. Because once I started drawing, I just... continued.

And

I

never

stopped.

A lot of you have also asked how I found the motivation to draw so much, to never take a break. Well, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it one last time: I am my number one fan. No matter how much you laughed, cried, screamed, or went feral over this story, I did all of that and more. Because I got to think about the chapters months before they released. I got to daydream about them. I got to watch them come to life—first through sketches, then line art, then dialogue. And finally, I got to witness your reactions and see the incredible creations you made, inspired by my story.

So yeah, in a way, it was almost an addiction. A good addiction. Because, for the first time in my life, I actually understood what loving art means.

I’ve been drawing for ten years, working professionally for five, but I never loved art before. I just liked it because I happened to be good at it. But creating this comic made me understand why artists say, "Oh, I’ve loved drawing since I was a child!" This was the first time I allowed myself to create purely for my own enjoyment. Something I hadn’t had the privilege to do for a long time.

Other than making me feel even more single than I already was, this story somehow also helped me a little with my own family relationships. So yeah. Crazy how the gay monkeys changed my life.

Of course, I never could have predicted how much traction my AU would gain. Man, y’all were really starving to latch onto something this silly. /j

But yeah—thank you. Thank you for sticking around until the end, for having the patience and trust to follow the story even when I made you rage with angst and cliffhangers. (The statement in my bio still stands: I am not responsible for any physical or emotional damage my art has caused.)

I’m absolutely shit at thanking people, or at writing, or at talking in general, honestly. I’m the furthest thing from being good with words, so I hope the final chapter will be enough to show you my gratitude.

Through this story, I met so many wonderful, talented people. I watched as fans across different platforms found each other through memes and fanart of the AU. I saw artists start their own AUs inspired by mine, growing their own communities. I witnessed an explosion of creativity and collaboration through our takeovers. And I laughed along with you all.

And yeah—at its core, this story has always been about love. Whether it’s platonic, sibling, parental, romantic, or whatever the hell Mac and Wukong had going on for millennia.

At its heart, it’s a story about family.

And maybe, in the end… the real family wasn’t just the one in the comic, but the one we’ve found together along the way. 💛

See you all at the finale.

Love you all, freaks /affectionate

Jade

[dejaruhe]

I agree with everything in this post except the word normalcy. I hate the word normal. What does it even mean! How is it normal to ship beans from half across the world to a coffee shop, factory farm eggs and butter for a pastry that's made god-knows-where and also probably shipped to the coffee shop, make this accessible to consumers through exploiting the labor of the barista, the pastry chef, the truck drivers doing the shipping, farm workers... I guess if the definition of normal is that we're used to it then sure but if the definition of normal is closer to "how it should be" which is how I usually see it used then *no*.

I want poor people to have everything rich people have, luxuries included, but also no one should have some of the things rich people have, the structures we've created to make these little comforts accessible to whoever has the money for it are like, inherently evil. Which is frustrating because I'm addicted to caffeine! It's also frustrating because the only ethical failing in the scenario you've described is that poverty is a crime by the rich against the poor, and the only "punishment" should be the redistribution of resources, which wouldn't be viewed as a punishment by moral people but if you're used to privilege you view equality as a threat. Imagine having to live like everybody else does!

I believe we could build an ethical system for providing everyone coffee and pastries if we were more motivated to but I think we might have to lose all the people afflicted with affluenza for that to ever happen because they'll all fight it to the death. Luxury and convenience über alles.

listen the fact is that a lot of poor people ARE bad with money. i have terrible impulse control around spending 5 dollars here and 10 dollars there and i know so many people around me who have this problem too. but its not "this persons bad with money, so theyre poor"; its "this persons poor, so theyre bad with money". i dont know when i'll be able to get a little treat or eat out or buy myself something that will make me happy again so i have to do it now. idon't know when i'll afford food again so i have to buy it now. i don't feel confident in the fact i'll ever have the cushioning to genuinely enjoy expendable income, so instead of saving and hoping (only to have my savings routinely wiped out for moving, or medical costs, or a car accident), i spend it now so i can enjoy life now.

i think if you see poor people ebegging constantly but two days ago saw them posting about a fancy coffee and a pastry, you need to stop viewing "spending a few dollars you maybe shouldnt" as something that requires the Punishment of "can't pay the fucking bills". some of us, just like, need to feel like we have some kind of normalcy in our lives because being poor fucking sucks

[queenendless]

*°◇■¤ SHAPE OF YOU ¤■◇°*

A/n: Yeah the same English VA voiced all these dudes, and his B-Day is TODAY!

Tbh though, I wanna take a break from this one sided infatuated hellhole I dug myself into and write for other series again, that aren't dubbed with him in it. The irony of me saying that when I wrote this of all things. I ❤️ that madman though. Ah, the mess of a crush!

Pairing: Adult! Makoto, Anos, Jiji, Mash, Nagumo, Mikey, Lighter, Jinwoo, Ryoji X Fem!Adult!Reader.

CW: SPOILERS FOR ALL THE FANDOMS INVOLVED SO BE PREPARED.

Characters aged up 21+. Isekaied reader. All shows coexist in this anime world AU.

SFW and NSFW CONTENT INVOLVED. Kinda headcanons/daily life with the various tagged dudes, mushy fluffy romance with eventual brief short smut. Voice kink, lovesick/lovestruck reader, reverse harem vibes.

Getting reborn in a world choked full of anime characters would be any weeb’s greatest dream. Your inner wish finally gets granted, at last!

So many cameos, easter eggs, references serving the overstimulation you craved.

Urban dystopia, cyberpunk, fantasy, and even classic and modern day Japan structures this conglomeration that is the capital of this anime city in this anime world.

In one way or another, you yourself seek out such dashing men that all had their unique quirks and styles straight out of the gate. Even in this new life they still hold a place in your heart.

Unlike most leads in reverse harem stories, you wanted to embrace this fantasy. Your lovesick self literally gave off such an intense lovestruck aura as is. You crave that kind of affection and attention, in this life as the last.

Someway, somehow, it worked.

Your bois … them dudes … ah what a lineup.

Mash, the magicless exercise buff, secretly likes you watching him doing weight lifts with one hand and eating cream puffs with the other. While workouts with him are more casual, he still appreciates you wanting to bond over it, inspiring him to do his push ups and sit ups with you kissing him when his face gets close enough as his motivation and reward. That and sharing slash feeding each other cream puffs together whenever you get the chance.

“You don't have to dote on me so much. Even without magic, I will use all of my strength to keep you safe. And bake cream puffs for you every day. I'll dote on you all to show you just how much you mean to me.”

Jiji, the goofy quirky red-head that he is, despite the Evil Eye yokai of hatred using him as its vessel, slowly but surely wormed his way into your heart. The stupid jokes paired with those face expressions laced with the boundless energy he has despite the hell he's been through grew on you over time until his beaming smile got you turning to mush. Being able to wind down and relax when he started gaining control over his alternate self, taking naps with you got you being the big spoon for this cutie. Cuddles are inevitable.

“Your laugh is infectious. Getting you to smile is my daily goal. It really does make my day. Gets me smiling every single time. I never want this feeling to end. So let's have more bright filled days ahead together, Y/n~”

Lighter, the red scarfed honor bound Champion, rightfully won your heart with his protective romantic dorky self. Meeting each other through your shared friends that are legendary Proxies, you become entangled in each other's lives. Giving you rides on his motorbike went from convenient transport to enjoying the scenic drive together. Sharing some Nitro Fuel together as he quipped out some dorky puns all to make you smile. You keep him grounded in return. Kissing every single scar his past left him with, being able to let down his walls and be open with you, it all means so much.

“You can count on me to get the job done. Whatever it is, whenever you need me, I'm there. I'll fight for you until my dying breath. Hey now, don't cry. I'm not going anywhere. Not for a long time.”

Anos, the misfit that is the Demon King of Tyranny, exudes natural charm and strength that is indeed OP. Building bridges, ending divides, bringing everyone united in a new age for his descendants. So of course the strapping reincarnated man bewitched you as well. Sure he has his own group of comrades on the side – a harem in a sense from others perspective – but from his self awareness, you have an actual harem. He was amused, intrigued even, that you would see him as another potential mate, so he humored you. His parents were more than welcoming to meet a bride he wouldn't mind marrying one day. You're just that interesting to him.

“Did you really think that just because I was part of your little court, that I would be outdone by my competition? I'll be as savage as well as benevolent to my rivals. Why am I going along with it? Well … I'm enthralled by you, my lovely human.”

Nagumo, one of the strongest assassins there is, would deem crossing paths with you during a mission not as a coincidence but as fate. He felt light as a feather, walking on air, as he made small talk with you after finishing his tasks for the day, that elated smile that came with blood stains. The fact that you reciprocate his assassin lifestyle had the arrow of love striking him true, mirroring Sakamoto's reason for leaving the Order all to be with his own special someone. Introducing you to said former comrade at his convenience store came soon after.

“Getting close to me will put you at risk, no doubt. And I barely have time to see you as it is due to my job. But I'll gladly kill anyone that dares harm a hair on your pretty little head. I really like you, after all.”

Mikey, the leader of his own biker group, can be quite the handful. Being overprotective about keeping his family, blood bound and found, you were no exception. He'd do anything for you, day or night. He is as loyal as he is a kid at heart. He wears his heart on his sleeve in your honest opinion. Giving him PDA really lifts his spirits; loved fill squeezing hugs, smooching him senseless, and being a shoulder to cry on for those tough days.

“Oi. I'm grateful to you. Ya know that, right? When this city sees delinquents in a better life through the Tokyo Manji Gang, my brother's dream will finally become a reality. And I hope you'll be by my side when that happens. I can't imagine anything else worthwhile.”

Jinwoo, an E-rank hunter reawakened to become the next Shadow Monarch took the world and beyond by storm, sweeping all off their feet. Slaying magic beasts all around you to show off his growing strength and speed. Saving those that are genuinely worth it helped balance the OP aura he gave, winning your heart in his favor. Seeing his former self in you brought out his overprotectiveness, aiding in winning him over in turn. This Ruler rather carry you princess style himself than his shadow generals.

“We've both been at the bottom. But while I've been fortunate to have agency and power to lead a better life, you haven't been so lucky. If you wouldn't mind, I want to look after you. I … I care about you. Very much. I want to be there for you like you have been for me.”

Ryoji, the Appraiser of Nyx herself, could not believe it himself. He was back together with his friends, making new memories with this second chance. And he had you to thank for that. The anomaly that is many worlds meshing together to create this one has you literally radiating at its core, having him hone in on you. You're an angel in his eyes. Hence, serenading on the piano for you, affectionately swaying you over with his wise words about embracing life to the fullest, and wrapping his scarf around you for you both to share. You got Death wrapped around your finger.

“I didn't expect to be in the presence of an angel, yet here you are. Knowing you had a hand in making all this possible, allow me to thank you personally. Beneath this moon, beside this sea, will you share one dance with me?”

Makoto, the savior literally tied to Death itself, willingly gave up his life to save his world from the literal end. In this alternate life, he too had been given another chance to live a long life. And like his close friend, he gets drawn to your presence. But unlike the former, you're the affectionate one. Petting him, sharing headphones in exchange for letting him rest against you, even looking unto his big blue eyes had him blushing and ducking his head in embarrassment. This silent loner boi is not immune to your smitteness.

“You're strange. Putting yourself out there … because you like me? Sorry. I've had admirers before, but I've never wanted to ruin those friendships. So why …? Maybe Ryoji was right. You're like a kindred soul to us … to me. We've all died yet came back. All to meet one another. I've dealt with stranger things … but I don't mind. You, that is. I mean it.”

While they were all different, the similarities when it comes to their bond with you are all there.

Shaking their warm calloused hands, no other kind of handshake could ever hope to top it.

Those marvelous eyes fascinate you.

Their modest encouragement sends your heart ablaze.

The many things they do to make each day easier, comfy, worthwhile.

Their fingers rubbing sensually along your cranium down to your tense neck. Massaging the rest of your stressed sore body followed suit. Of course they'd flex for you as you return the kind act, giving their lean builds love bites and smooches in the process.

Your drained hum of thanks reaches their ears as you use their lap as your pillow. They would do the same if they're too drained to go to bed or they need your presence to cheer them up for whatever reason.

Their hand brushes through your hair strands, pushing them aside to trail along your flushed cheek, causing it to darken further because it's their touch.

Many times you fall asleep against them, whether leaning into their side or using their lap as a pillow, it always ends with them rearranging yourselves to sleep on the couch together with you on top on them or they carry you to bed and keeps you in their arms still as you cuddle amid la la land.

Their laughter, whether deep or light, is a musical score you cherish to hear much more.

Lounging together with you sitting up against his front, your legs in between his own, his arms wrapped around you, he held the console controller in your lap with his hands overlapping yours as you played whatever video games piqued both your interests.

Spotting you squeezing the life out of chibi plush doll versions of themselves always brought out their envy. But it was your comfort whenever you couldn't hug their real life counterparts due to work or any other occupying situations. But you do get the chance to see them again, cuddles and kisses come in tenfold.

Even being able to spend time with them along with their comrades and friends always ends up with you staying glued by their side.

Days turned to weeks and then months, for each passing moment you were interweaving a web of bonds that got you attached to these fine nine beings.

For they share the same voice.

God that voice …

Such versatility and tenor. So sultry, sensual, and sexy all at once. It should be a crime to sound that fine. Of course it will slide. That kind of voice times nine. Like a soul split into nine sublime forms.

Comforting words. Encouragement. Goofy impressions. The puns. Saying your name. Pet Names. Any and every word. You could never get enough.

Then there are the salacious moments.

Them whispering in your ears to utter any and all such things. Dirty, romantic, primal. Whatever suited the mood. Whichever made you both comfortable.

“Does my voice really make you come that much? Interesting~”

That exact sentence would become like a motto – a slogan perhaps – to these guys. Teasing you in that tempo and timbre all to make you melt. Never letting you live it down.

“The ways in which you talk to me~”

Your own tease earned you being pushed up against the wall, your free hand supporting you since your other hand was pinned behind your back. His free hand grasped your chin, tilting your face around all to devour you. Just one of many scenarios that play out between you and your many partners.

Your first time with each of them is equally special, ingrained into your mind and your core.

Whether decent or long, wide or thick, so much variety with every cock that stuffs up your needy pussy.

Smooth and sly or sculpted and rough are such fingers that get to touch you, trace patterns along your sensitive flesh.

To pinch and rub your pearls, leaving love bites on every inch of you to remind one another who you belong to.

Fondling and massaging your frame, suckling on your stretch marks along your fine as fuck dumpy, stuffing their fingers in both your mouths to lather up your essence, licking from your ass crack to your clit.

They all share the intoxicating crave for your addictive taste, devouring your cunt for hours on end, their faces squished between your quivering sweaty thighs, their noses buried in your pubic hair while they're sloppily making out as their dexterous fingers and skillful tongues went to work on having you come so many times.

Missionary, backshots, the mating press, against the wall, on the floor, across tables and couches, even on the roof — when there's a will there's a way.

They love replacing the pearls around your neck …

Titty fucking. Throat fucking. Ejaculating all over your sweaty sheen self. Jacking off through your thighs, your peachy hills, all to tease you so close to edge yet striving to be within you.

Of course, they let you have your way with them in kind. Their egos and hearts soar as you claim them, the bite marks and bruising sucks litter their lean firm vessels to match yours. The tattoos, the scars, those get you showering smooches like mad.

Whether hugging their waist or throwing them over their shoulders, they love to rub and grip your legs enough for fingertips to be left behind as your latch onto them is ironclad.

Weaving hands through each other's haphazard hair while tugging on them hair strands roughly amiss lust, interlocking their hands with yours that need that tether to keep hold onto through the hectic ride of orgasmic paradise.

Massaging your ever tight gummy caverns all to see your expressions of vulnerable passion, falling apart easily while stuffing their cream in you, hitting that sizzling bundle of nerves all to tip you over the edge.

Those feral groans, them unhinged moans, such breathless cries of euphoria with your name reading such a crescendo off their swollen wet mouths as they could never get enough of your vice grip firm enough to leave their fingerprints behind.

Your curling, squirming self crying and breathless as creamy goodness dripped down your valleys, their comforting warm bodies draping over your beautiful self, holding you while the highs of sex would soon calm down.

“Let me fight for you.”

“Laugh with you.”

“Cry with you.”

“Reshape the world for you.”

“Kill for you.”

“Protect you.”

“Rule with you.”

“Live life with you.”

“Love you.”

In this alternate universe, in a world full of vibrant people, with limitless possibilities and potential …

The shape of them — their very existences — ingrained in your type of mate. Partner. Perhaps the shape of their souls are all one in the same. All intense, driven and outrageous.

Maybe because of your preference in your former life. Through their voices all stemming from one. Perhaps your rooted desire for a significant other with that boundless voice created so many options and you finally hit the jackpot.

When the day comes you wake up amongst all nine men strewn about, bare to the bone the same as you, in sheen gleaming ecstasy, soiled sheets and pillows thrown about all over the spacious bedroom, as you smiled all dopey like at those peaceful sleeping dreamboats.

The shape of you might as well be a heart because you too wore it when you're with your favorites.

[invenusworld]

punarvasu

punarvasu (पुनर्वासु) means 'return to the light.' the shakti or divine power of this nakshatra is "vasutva prapana shakti" meaning the ability to gain wealth or substance. the presiding deity of punarvasu is aditi; the sanskrit word aditi (अदिति) means "boundless," "limitless," "freedom," or "innocence"

punarvasu is of the deva (godly) clan and belongs to the the merchant caste; its primary motivation is artha — the pursuit of wealth, material well-being and prosperity; artha (अर्थ) in sanskrit means meaning or purpose

the vimshottari lord is jupiter, brihaspati - guru of the gods; the realm of ether - the realms beyond space

for further insights into the cosmic function of punarvasu and aditi i will be quoting an excerpt from 'DIVINE HORSEMEN: THE LIVING GODS OF HAITI' — MAYA DEREN

here, I liken the haitian goddess erzulie to the vedic aditi as they represent the same archetype and symbolism

"Myth is the facts of the mind made manifest in a fiction of matter."

— maya deren, punarvasu ketu (below)

Erzulie: Goddess — The Tragic Mistress

Voudoun has given woman, in the figure of Erzulie, exclusive title to that which distinguishes humans from all other forms: their capacity to conceive beyond reality, to desire beyond adequacy, to create beyond need. In Erzulie, Voudoun salutes woman as Divinity of the dream, the Goddess of Love, the Muse of Beauty.

It has denied her emphasis as mother of life and of men in order to regard her (like Mary, with whom Erzulie is identified) as mother of man's myth of life — its meaning. In a sense, she is that very principle by which man conceives and creates divinity.

Thus, to man himself, she is as mistress.

Erzulie moves in an atmosphere of infinite luxury, a perfume of refinement, which, from the first moment of her arrival, pervades the very air of the peristyle, and becomes a general expansiveness in which all anxieties, all urgencies vanish.

The tempo of movements becomes more leisurely, tensions dissolve and the voices soften, losing whatever aggressive or strident tones they may have had. One has the impression that a fresh, cooling breeze has sprung up somewhere and that the heat has become less intense, less oppressive.

She is provided with a fresh white or rose silk handkerchief which she arranges carefully around her hair.

Perfume is imperative, and there may be powder as well. A white or rose dress of delicate cloth, with lace or embroidery, has been keps in readiness for her. And, finally, she is brought not one necklace, but several, of gold and pearls, along with earrings and bracelets and her three wedding bands.

The careful, unhurried accumulation of costume is an act which, step by step, rejects the primitive, the "natural condition", and, step by careful step, instructs the fortunate attendants in the idea of beauty, the sense of form, and, above all, the cumulative painstaking process by which a work of man — be it art or myth — is created.

The Goddess examines each article minutely; where alternative choice exists, her considered selection, her indecision are very pointed; each effect is critically scrutinized, often rejected and rearranged. The very process of this creative transformation becomes so significant that whether it is a large audience or a small family who await her, or how long they may have to wait, ceases to be of any consequence.

What is of consequence is the act itself, and the demonstration of the fact that such an act can transfigure the female into the feminine.

Her voice is a delicate soprano; her every gesture, movement of eyes, and smile, is a masterpiece of beguiling coquetry; with her, human relationship becomes itself significant rather than merely a means to an end.

She may visit her altar chamber and be pleased that the flowers are fresh, for flowers are her passion.

kalu uchis, punarvasu ☉

She may ask for a favorite song, for she loves to dance and is the most graceful of all loa; or she may simply give audience to her admirers, and by her postures and attitudes transform the crude chair in which she sits into a throne.

Above all, she favors desserts, decorated cakes and confections of all kinds. Or, if she has arrived on an impromptu visit, she may be content with a sip of the crême de menthe or the champagne which, theoretically, should always be ready for her appearance.

As Lady of Luxury, she gives gifts constantly;

her own perfume, the handkerchief she wears, the food and money which she distributes generously.

She particularly rewards those who are handsome, or who dance well, or whose personality pleases her. She never neglects one who is devoted to her.

an altar to maîtresse erzulie, mistress erzulie, metres ezili freda

As Lady of Luxury she is, above all, Goddess of Love, that human luxury of the heart which is not essential to the purely physical generation of the body. She is as lavish with that love as she is generous with her gifts. She treats men with such demonstrative affection that it might seem, at times, embarrassing. She will embrace them, and kiss them, caress them, sit with an arm around those to both sides of her.

Nothing is meted out or budgeted, there is more than enough; this is her way of loving, this is the divine fecundity of the heart. A heart is, indeed, her symbol, most often the pierced heart identified with Mary.

She, who is the wealthiest of the loa, the most frequently gifted with luxurious accoutrement, suffers for not being "served" enough.

She, who is the most complimented, most beloved, most often wedded in the sacred marriage of devotee and divinity — she who is Goddess of Love — protests that she is not loved enough.

Inevitably then – she begins to weep. Tenderly they would comfort her, bringing forward still another cake, another jewel, pledging still another promise. But it would seem that nothing in this world would ever, could ever, answer those tears. It is because of these tears that the women, who might otherwise resent her, are so gentle. In their real, reasonable world there is no grief like this.

this weeping is so inaccessible to reason that one thinks, inevitably, of a child's innocence of reason. It is this sense of innocence which emanates from her that makes her identification with the Virgin Mary somehow seem truer than her promiscuity, than even the fact that the devotion of prostitutes makes of her almost their patron saint.

She is the divinity of the dream, and it is in the very nature of dream to begin where reality ends and to spin it and to send it forward in space, as the spider spins and sends forward its own thread.

The labor of Erzulie is as endless as the capacity of man to dream and, in the very act of accomplishing that dream, to have already dreamed again. It is upon this diminutive feminine figure that man has placed the burden of the most divine paradox — He has conceived her without satisfactions, without balance, to insure an overwhelming balance against his own satisfactions. This is the meaning of the merciless muse, the most unhappy Medusa.

Erzulie is the loa of the impossible perfection which must remain unattainable. Man demands that she demand of him beyond his capacity. The condition of her divinity is his failure; he crowns her with his own betrayals. Hence she must weep; it could not be otherwise.

The wound of Erzulie is perpetual: she is the dream impaled eternally upon the cosmic cross/roads where the world of men and the world of divinity meet, and it is through her pierced heart that "man ascends and the gods descend.

jacob's ladder, william blake, punarvasu ☽

the following are some lyrics from songs by lana del rey (mercury in punarvasu) with many of this nakshatra's themes of wealth, excess, luxury, beautification, devotion, heart break, dreams, fantasy, etc

'video games'

I say, "You the bestest" / Lean in for a big kiss / Put his favourite perfume on

It's you, it's you, it's all for you / Everything I do / I tell you all the time / Heaven is a place on earth with you

They say that the world was built for two / Only worth living if somebody is loving you

'honeymoon'

There are violets in your eyes / There are guns that blaze around you / There are roses in between my thighs / And fire that surrounds you

It's no wonder every man in town / Had neither fought nor found you / Everything you do is elusive / To even your honey dew

our honeymoon / Dreaming away your life

'national anthem'

Winin' and dinin', drinkin' and drivin' / Excessive buyin', overdose and dyin' / On our drugs, and our love, and our dreams, and our rage / Blurrin' the lines between real and the fake / Dark and lonely, I need somebody to hold me / He will do very well, I can tell, I can tell / Keep me safe in his bell tower hotel

Money is the anthem of success / So put on mascara and your party dress

I'm your national anthem, boy, put your hands up / Give me a standin' ovation / Boy, you have landed, babe, in the land of / sweetness and danger, Queen of Saigon

[heartepub]

有緣無分

genre/warnings/wc. angst. indie film director!minghao x interpreter!gn!reader. weird books and copious insect mating descriptions (do those count as warnings?). unbeta'd, not proofread. 0.9k. note. for @studioeisa, in response to minghao + the last love letter from an entomologist, by jared singer. part of my 100 followers event !

As with any retreat house worth its salt, there are shelves filled with the most eclectic titles one could ask for. You’re reading them aloud, eyes bright with both curiosity and tipsy wonder. There’s a bottle of wine held loosely in your hand, which Minghao eyes as you run your fingers lightly over the books.

“‘Long Walk to Freedom’—Mandela, hm…‘I Could Pee on This’… ‘Almanac 2011’—Oh, NatGeo! …‘How to Live with a Huge Penis’…” you begin to giggle, finger still running along the spines as he makes a face behind you. “‘How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?’” Your giggles grow louder as he snorts.

Minghao doesn’t need to know what malarkey means to grasp the utter absurdity of that combination of words.

You pull something from the shelf, handing it to him. “It’s the only book written in Chinese.” Obliging, he accepts it from you, patting the space beside him on the couch as he opens the book to a random page.

You flop down, the wine in the half-empty bottle sloshing with your motion. He gently extricates it from your hand as he reads the first sentence his eyes land on. “Sexual cannibalism is common amongst praying mantises. Typically, the female is the aggressor, which encourages males to approach the female carefully and cautiously when mating.” 

Minghao raises an eyebrow, intrigued even as his brain doesn’t quite parse the words. 

You continue from where he left off. His mother tongue fills the air, your accent endearing as it always is. But it’s all fluff in his head, nothing quite as important as the weight of your head on his shoulder. 

It is well into the night; neither of you have bothered with watches, and the clocks here are wildly unsynced. It’s an hour for dreams; the amber warmth of the indoor lamps meet the remnants of the lights from the pool outside. The result is a hazy mix of blue and orange casting mesmerizing shadows across your face.

“Oh, this is interesting,” he hums, pulling himself out of his daze to listen, “Some flies have been found to be monogamous, challenging prior assumptions of polygy- polygynous relations. Though postmating responses in female flies has been diplomatic, emerging research indicates that copulation, including the exposure to mating-specific pheromones, reduces receptors in certain neurons among males. This results in a severely reduced motivation to re-engage in mating behavior. Neither male nor female would mate with another, leading to loss in genetic material should copulation be unsuccessful.”

Minghao skims the passage. “Not diplomatic,” he corrects, “documented.”

“Mm. ’Kay.” The alcohol has already clearly gotten to you. Your words slur, ever so slightly. “I’d like to be a praying mantis in my next life. A true man-eater. Maybe a fly for the devotion.”

Minghao snorts again, the sound more unrestrained than usual. Perhaps a consequence of the second bottle. 

“Must be easy to love if you’re an insect,” you continue to muse, “Just pheromones, sex, then you give birth, then you die. No such thing as ‘cheating’. No room for emotions or family drama.”

“Seems like guys get the short end of the stick,” he replies after a beat. “Maybe not for me.”

You just giggle again, digging your head into his shoulder, only letting up when he yelps in pain. “Good. It’s men’s turn.” He just grunts, pushing you off while nursing the soreness. The moment his hand stops massaging, your head has reclaimed its position. You’re saying something, but it doesn’t quite register—his mind has been weighing his next actions even as you talk glibly beside him. 

After a beat, he leans his head against yours. Your chatter dies quickly. For a while, you don’t move, until you shift slightly, allowing the top of head to rest right under his jaw. He doesn’t usually drink; tonight was an exception, but he’s not too concerned. Not when it’s you and your warmth pressing against his side.

Nearly everything has been said and done; his flight is a red-eye, the early morning right after your impromptu midnight screening (A special edition, you had pitched to the head organizer, after your mutual bid of creative madness, where we add subtitles to the silent portions of the film, giving voice to what had been previously left unsaid). He and you had promptly been sent here, amid nature, wine, and strange books, in the name of unleashing the creative spirit.

Tomorrow, you’ll both have left the retreat house, ready with your hard drive of the edited film. A handful of hours after that, he’ll be back in China, to his life of writing and directing, or perhaps preparing for the next screening in some other country, in another film festival. 

Perhaps he’ll meet another interpreter, though he’s sure no one would ever quite be the same. No one else could linger between the cracks of himself, as careful as he was to choose what brokenness remains seen in the final iterations of his art.

Silence rests between you, not a burden, but a weight nonetheless. Even a whisper would feel like a scream. There is a precipice, but neither of you will jump. Only yearning can fill this space.

(In the early morning after you part, he boards the plane, How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way? tucked into his carry-on. His first petty crime. A purely selfish way to remember how you laughed every when you read the title.

Minghao hopes that the Buddhists were right about samsara. If they were, he could learn to love with the vicious devotion only lesser creatures have. If it’s you, he wouldn’t mind his turn.)

有緣無分 . yǒu yuán wú fèn, destined to meet but not fated to be together (idiom)

note. praying mantis mating description from here ; flies one is straight out of my 2am brain. yet another outtake from a wip yet to be written—this will not be the last you see of this couple (kae hates to see me coming)

[residentwordsofaffirmationdealer]

dick's loyalty to anyone else who needs help, then bruce, in gotham knights

i've been stewing on this since November of last year. the 'retribution part 1: sons and lovers' arc from gotham knights (2000) was genuinely soooo interesting and not in the way that its like mindblowing but its just so weirdly well and and nuancedly written.

heads-up: its very outdated like bruce is being racist to dick -- for context dick gets told that suprise!! his grandfather (yoska graesinka) is secretly alive and wants to meet him and dicks surprised cause he though everyone in his family was dead already and so he asks bruce "i thought you checked that out years ago???" like if dick still had any living relatives and bruce says "your people are notoriously hard to keep track off" and its ambiguous if that means romani people or circus people and dick goes "my PEOPLE??? what's THAT supposed to mean" soo ummmm........ 

but anyway. for more context, yoska is not actually dick's paternal grandfather but was told he was by ra's al ghul (and yoska genuinely believed it) and dick is 50/50 on it but ends up liking him because yoska is a sweetheart and obv bruce is very very very very pissed off and doesnt believe yoska is actually dick's grandfather and is kind of very. like. cold to him and dick thinks he's being unfair and then he starts being cold to dick too. (also more context -- this is basically right after bruce officially adopted dick (it's still in the courts and yoska is petitioning it)

it's also set right after talia al-ghul is ignoring her father (she's now running lexcorp and going by talia head (if anyone else remembers that era)), so ra's gets very upset and bruce assumes that ra's probably "thinks the whole thing is [bruce's] fault" (THIS IS IMPORTANT LATER)

anyway, bruce and babs insist that dick meet yoska, and yoska calls bruce "your raya", meaning (not romani) landowner, and dick tries to explain that although bruce isn't rom, he is still family. the wordplay here is really interesting bc theres the whole vibe of You Don't Belong With Him + calling bruce dick's landowner kind of implies that their relationship is not permanent -- and also (as of the nightwing runs prior to that, i'm thinking chuck dixon specifically?) dick was insecure of this for a long time too when bruce didn't adopt him and he was only his ward. also, written by the same author, inheritance (and in an earlier gotham knights issue -- sibling rivalry), when dick is close to being 18 and he's scared he won't mean anything to bruce anymore because he legally won't have a connection to him. so in total, there's just not really a sense of permanence.

anyway. later when its revealed that dick fully has his own apartment, yoska is shocked and is like "he doesnt let you live at the manor????" and dick says "he would if i asked, but i have a life here" and yoska is like "THIS IS NOT A LIFE... all you have is rent and... job" (kind of a bar tbh)

but anyway, dick realizes that yoska's not his grandfather for real and ra's is playing all of them, and he explains that to yoska. they get startled but in the end it's just bruce, and yoska and bruce talk it out and and they all make up or whatever and dick is like oh btw you can live with me if you want to yoska and he says "you have no need of me, flying grayson. you have family enough right here" (which was cute!!)

then we see ra's missing his daughter, and he does (just like bruce guessed) blame bruce for ruining his relationship with his daughter, and thats why he tried to ruin bruce's relationship with dick

and then it goes to bruce officially officially adopting dick!! and they have a cute moment but then, as bruce explains ra's motives to dick

bruce acknowledges that dick's loyalty will not always be for bruce and bruce only but for anyone he thinks he can "save" -- "your loyalty is easily come by. it is offered to anyone you deem to be in jeopardy"

bruce explains how he thinks dick has a "I Can Fix Them" complex, talking about how he attaches himself to people who are always in some kind of trouble (babs, helena, kory) and dick feels like bruce is trying to tell him that bruce feels like dick is letting dick adopt him because of the same kind of attachment and that this will help Fix bruce etc etc

and so this is the finale. but the lead up to this? the emphasis on devotion? on saving people?

in issue #10 (about 10 issues prior to sons and lovers), tim and dick tag along a wayne enterprises meeting with bruce, and the fire alarm goes off as dick and tim play tag. tim suggests that they exit the building, but dick says "after we see what's on fire, whether anyone needs help, and where bruce is"

ITS MAKING THE SAME POINT BRUCE DOES, 10 ISSUES LATER. dick will always prioritize helping other people over bruce (and his own safety)

the second part where this is foreshadowed is where hugo strange (dressed as batman) interrogates dick about "if bruce wayne is batman" and dr. strange says says "admit that though you could shed these meager bonds and kill me with your bare hands, you won't dare as long as batman's safety is in question" and dick corrects him with "i wont endanger ANY hostage's safety"

even though obviously it means something very different (he's trying to make dr strange think that bruce isn't batman) but still dick admits to it.......... like ra's you were too right.... dick's loyalty is quite literally anyone who needs help and then to bruce... and look. here once again. even TIM knows that...........

if dick had to either save bruce or tim, he would save tim. (ik he doesnt fr and right after this scene, it shows dick trying to save bruce but. its more about whats being stated because this is all lead up....) i'll come back to this when i'm more coherent but does anyone else understand. i'm gnawing on the bars of my enclosure.

[learnfromurowncomic]

I have no idea if Kittycorn will read these. Maybe she will because she's clearly aware of some of the main points people are throwing agaisnt her, but I'd like to say something to her personally.

None of this contains threats or anything fucking stupid. If you harrass or advocate for harm of kit you're a horrible person too and harrasment of any kind is super counterproductive in any case. I don't support her actions either as someone who has been traumatized by proshippers but I just wanted to give my final thoughts about this whole mess.

Cw for discussion of the controversy, aka proshipping, groomers, incest

I can tell you that you did 100% fuck up. Most people here wouldn't really have given a fuck if it truly was all private, me personally, as also an incest victim, proshipping triggers me so I would just have been very disappointed but blocked and moved on.

Like okay whatever, let's say the insects thing and allat wasn't intentional, suuure. Sure. But,

If it truly had been private, and with people who 100% consented, HOW did it get leaked so fucking badly?

If it truly had been private, why were you also associating with proshippers (who apparently are also groomers? Can we focus on that for a moment? Because this is not really about the proshipping. It's about the individuals. It sucks and all but the fact that with you guys it's always defending predatory behavior from people that are on your side... For fucks sake. And it's also about...)

Why did you lie to your fanbase.

What's the point of building a fanbase, a safe space for people who feel uncomfortable with proship content and individuals, stating your 'boundaries' agaisnt proshipping over and over again, why do you have a damn anti proshipping plot in your main comic, and still couldn't at least be honest that you were friends with proshippers now and liked incest or whatever.

That's why people are mad at you, they felt betrayed. We feel betrayed and frankly disgusted. And I feel like it's also a bit unfair on the side of your proshipper friends too, if you wanna look at it from that perspective, because they were receiving constant asks and harrasment about you SUPPOSEDLY not liking them interacting with your content and how they broke your boundaries while you so happily indulged in incest behind closed doors. So you're not even a good person to them.

And again, reiterating the whole aspect of them being... Genuinely not good people. Seriously, can't you at least find better proshipper people to surround yourself with, at LEAST?

But hey, now you're being honest. So, I guess my message is...

Just go with them.

Just go with them, go with your proshipper friends, with your new fanbase. I don't know why you act like everything's over, yeah, your whole comic got leaked apparently, but do you have any idea how HAPPILY proshippers will receive an ex-'anti'? They LIVE for that shit. Come on. You're getting 50+ likes in each one of your guilt trippy posts. It's not over for you. And no, no one wants you to kill yourself either. I saw a guy trying to doxx but bro got shunned pretty quickly, because that's just fucked up.

Anyways... proshippers am I right? They're your new loyal fans now, Kittycorn. They won't care that the comic is leaked. They won't care about the spoilers, and they certainly don't care about the little THING, oh that thing, the thing you love the most, the thing that moves your world: fictional underage incest sex. Come on! Hey, I can't control what you wanna do, maybe you could actually insert your uwu comforts into the main comic this time. Do what you want forever, right?

Eugh, that phrase used to be such a big motivator for me. Can't believe the actual meaning. Oh well.

Anyways... Go with your proships, just be ready for them to also wanna make their own incest porn as well. As well as rape porn, pedo porn, bestiality porn, and just any kind of shit they wanna make, disregarding boundaries. Oops! No boundaries allowed in proshipper realm! But you're probably into that too, good for you I guess.

I just hope that if this is truly your truth, you're actually happy. Can't imagine how someone could be happy in such a shitty place, but, oh well, what I know. The worst thing we can do, is betray ourselves. So you decide how you wanna go on about this, but while it's overwhelming, remember the reason you're getting so much backlash is not only because of the community YOU built, but the lies you told.

Aaand also the people you're associating with. At least find people who actually stick to fiction, CMONNNNNNNNN. STOP SHIELDING GROOMERS.

But yeah stop acting like you lost everything when you already have a whole group of people who will accept you and take you in. Just understand the kind of people you're surrounding yourself with and your dishonesty. That's all I have to say as someone who has been a big fan since like 2018 and has constantly been making fanart since then and interacting with your blogs and comic and getting inspiration from your art and ocs. 7 years for this, man. Goodbye, goodbye sparklecare, goodbye Kittycorn, and I hope everyone who has been affected can recover. Don't do anything stupid and this goes for each one of you.

EDIT: To clarify this is just a rant and I don't actually want Kittycorn to come back nor do I encourage it due to her connections to groomers who have harmed actual teens thanks to her. I just think it's dumb kits acting like everything's oh soooo over when kits getting 50+ notes by proships on her posts who would happily continue supporting kit and kits comic

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

I'm gonna need Da On to learn the word no. Or a variation, or just words in general. And yes I mean Da On, I didn't get confused. I'm not in any way, excusing the behaviour of the other characters. But here is the thing. Da On doesn't speak up. He's living in a permanent state of avoidance and inaction. The only thing motivating him is avoiding whatever bad thing is happening at any given moment. And he is surrounded by people who can't help themselves but do something. Again not excusing, just explaining.

So when Ju Seong Hyeon asked him to stay by his side, he just wanted the bad vibes between them to end. So he stayed silent and eventually nodded his head yes. Nodded his fucking head. So when JSH gets way too into it, and he gets upset he still doesn't say it makes him uncomfortable, in fact he says it doesn't, when asked directly. He says the office is the problem and let's JSH drag him to dinner and photos.

When he gets dragged home by Kim Su Hyeon and he forces himself on him, he's still stays silent until KSH speaks and then he says: what if I said no? Which for me it was funny, because it's almost like it was testing out the word for the first time. I know it's not like that, it was just amusing given where my head was at.

He does tell JSH to leave when they talk in the car park the next morning, but we know why,so it’s not like it comes from some newfound resolve. Then, at the work event outside the office, he just tells him to give up if he’s tired. At that point, I was laughing. It seems the only person he can actually be tough on is his sister, which, you know, doesn’t exactly make him a great person. And by the end, when JSH tells him he won’t give up and will wait as long as it takes, he still says nothing and just walks away. And this was just the last two episodes.

And then he finally says NO to KSH and the ring (wtf was that?), and I thought, finally! He has a spine. But I was a fool. Because honestly this still made me cackle.

He was just assaulted. How about you talk NEVER? How about you run out and not look back? And call the police? Dude, at what point are you at least partly responsible for the mess you found yourself in?

Because I don’t want to be misunderstood or have people come at me, let me be clear - I’m not victim blaming, I’m script blaming. This character is a complete doormat. He’s living in a house on fire. He didn’t light the match, sure, but he’s also not grabbing the fire extinguisher that’s right next to him.

[aromacaque]

I've seen you say it before, but can you explain more or less what you mean when you say that Macaque idolizes/idolized Wukong?

I've talked about it a little in these posts too 1 , 2

I'm gonna break this down by chronological order for my own sanity lol

Before Attacking Heaven

We don't have a ton of info on this part of their lives, but I do think this scene, which if not entirely before the brotherhood, is at least before their plans to go against heaven.

I talked about this more in detail here, but this scene just kinda establishes what their relationship was before everything else happened, which is important.

Macaque getting hurt is a really small detail, but they wouldn't take the time to put that in for absolutely no reason.

He's willing to throw himself in fire for their home and/or for Wukong. Wukong checks on him to make sure he's okay and gives him some peaches. He realizes Macaque is a little annoyed at him, then tries to comfort him. This is also one of the few times we see Macaque genuinely happy. They're best friends! Cool!! Not much to say here about him idolizing Wukong, but this is where it starts.

I couldn't tell you if it was already happening during this moment under the tree or not, but at some point Macaque starts to kind of stop seeing Wukong as a person and more of an idea. Something above him. The first time we see this is during the brotherhood.

Again, talked about this a little bit in this post, but in this scene with the brotherhood, we see what their relationship has become. Macaque ignores his own worries, fears, and distrust in favor of Wukong. Whatever Wukong says goes.

Wukong doesn't do anything to coerce Macaque into acting like this. Macaque is choosing to place Wukong over his inhibitions. His blind faith and trust in Wukong is not healthy. It is codependent*

But really it's less these scenes and more everything after them that lets us see how bad this actually was.

Wukong becomes Macaque's obsession and this spirals out of control the worse their relationship gets. By the time we are at season 1, Wukong is Macaque's sole motivator until season 3, where Lady Bone Demon puts his life on the line.

JTTW Fight

We know we are missing a lot of information because what happens between their argument under Five Phases Mountain and in the fight that ended Macaque's life makes no sense if that's all there was to their falling out.

Macaque is much more reserved and hesitant in the past than he is in the present. To go from that to "Macaque, stop! Don't make me do this!" ? To a fight implied to be one of Wukong's worst memories? How? Why? Macaque is completely unreachable here. It seems like he refuses to even try talking it out while this time it's Wukong who isn't being listened to.

To go from his past self to how he acts in season 1?

We technically don't know what happened, but do we know enough to make sense of it? I think so. And yes, it has everything to do with how he "idolized" Wukong.

Wukong's Present Attitude Toward Macaque

WALK WITH ME HERE AND KEEP PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT I PUT ASTERISKS ON. I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THERE IS A POINT TO ALL THIS.

First of all, Wukong does not intervene with anything unless he believes it is a serious threat (ex. Lady Bone Demon, Azure, The Pillars) or something that MK can't handle on his own (ex. Spider Queen, LBD, Azure, Pillars).

It is worth noting that the first time Macaque shows up, Wukong doesn't seem surprised at all. He also isn't concerned enough to immediately confront MK about it upon noticing or confront him the second Macaque shows up despite knowing how dangerous he could be and clearly having followed MK to keep an eye on him. It's only once Macaque hurts MK that he intervenes.

Wukong, for whatever reason, possibly because he knows him well, doesn't treat Macaque as a serious threat. If anything, he treats him more as a nuisance,* but ultimately as his responsibility to deal with, not MK's.

MACAQUE: Come on! The old you would've leveled this whole mountain range to stop me! But you're scared of hurting some kid? Pathetic!

He also doesn't use his full power against Macaque. Macaque knows he isn't too. He treats Macaque in a similar manner to how he treats Spider Queen, only with a bit more force and power due to Macaque being stronger. Reiterating that Wukong doesn't see Macaque as a genuine threat LBD style. This is important.

WUKONG: Are you ever going to get sick of living in my shadow?

WUKONG: Oh no...

(The voice delivery here in particular is very um... exasperated.)

SIDENOTE:

MACAQUE: Oh Wukong!

IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT WUKONG WITH THIS GUY!!! HE WANTS HIS ATTENTION SPECIFICALLY EVERY TIME! This guy is literally obsessed with him. Wukong lives rent free in his head.

WUKONG: So what? You're her puppet now? I mean, makes sense, you always did have a sidekick kind of vibe.

WUKONG: So, you got bone demon powers now, huh? Well, it is on brand for you to have worse versions of everyone else's powers... Not gonna gloat? Monologue a little bit before scurrying off to your master?

*I'm gonna be honest, I don't think Wukong is saying any of these things as some admission to Macaque's inferiority as much as he is aggravated by Macaque's behavior.

Look, Wukong doesn't act like this with anybody else. The closest he gets is taunting enemies during fights which is never that serious, intentionally provoking someone to get a needed reaction (ex. DBK while trapped in webs), or adopting a serious demeanor with dangerous situations (LBD, Azure, etc.)

Macaque is an exception to Wukong's behavior. For obvious reasons, nobody else has that kind of relationship with him.

His words to Macaque are condescending, yes, but I don't think it's in the way it sounds. Macaque doesn't acknowledge his own faults, that has to be frustrating. Then he goes and acts like he's an extension of the people around him rather than his own person? And that actively contributed to their falling out? His grievances, as justifiable as some are, actively causes Macaque to continue to seek Wukong out to taunt him and drag other people into their drama?

I'm kind of lacking the words right now to describe this adequately but Macaque's behavior annoys Wukong. Otherwise, all things considered, he's relatively peaceful with Macaque in a way that is not reciprocated. Wukong is objectively behaving the most maturely out of the two of them. He doesn't go out of his way to seek Macaque out to taunt him. He isn't bringing others into their issues like Macaque is.

While Macaque obviously means a lot to Wukong, and there's a lot of history between these two, and it's so much more complicated than this, he's the only one out of the two that made any attempts to move on from what happened. To be clear, I don't think he ever really did. Wukong is very avoidant, it's easy for him to act like he doesn't care it's just that none of that information is relevant to this analysis, but the important thing here is that it is only Macaque who is behaving like this.

He only gets serious the second Macaque might actually cause pain to anyone else. He only attacks him AGGRESSIVELY when he caused Mei to get the Samadhi Fire.

When Wukong realizes Macaque isn't willingly working for LBD, immediately says "Wait, I have a plan!" as if he is willing to extend an olive branch to Macaque to help him, or at least keep him off their asses. When Macaque shows up after the LBD fight, he doesn't reject him being there, Macaque just easily annoys him and puts him on edge.

WHY DOES LITERALLY ANY OF THIS MATTER THOUGH?

Can possibly allude to what happened after their argument under the mountain. But more importantly...

Because it begs the question: Why does Macaque do this?

What Macaque's Relationship with MK Says About Him

Keep walking with me. I swear this has a point.

I can't get into detail about their relationship, it would take too long, so I am just grabbing relevant information only here.

Initially, he instantly equates MK as an extension of Wukong while also contradicting himself by encouraging MK to see himself as his own person in seasons 1-3. In a lot ways, this is self-projection. Macaque has a habit of projecting onto others. This tells us a hell of a lot more about Macaque than it ever has about MK's character.

Literally the entire sequence where he's "mentoring" (cough manipulating) MK, telling him to be the weapon is important. YES, this is him coercing MK to use too much power so he can take it, but we can't ignore that this is literally how Macaque fights. Especially when Wukong is involved*

This lesson has ulterior motives and bad intentions, but it is genuine to a certain degree. Underneath his personal vendetta is a real lesson he is trying to teach MK, as is the pattern between most interactions between these two in the first 3 seasons.

I think it is important to point out that the reason this lesson is bad and not Red Son telling Mei to "be the flame" is because of the attitude and behavior starting it. This lesson is bad for MK because it's inherently self-destructive*, not constructive.

In Shadow Play this is made like, really really really obvious. MK isn't wrong to relate more to the Warrior than the Hero. He feels abandoned by Wukong and way over his head. MK didn't get handed everything. I think the next seasons and especially season 4 and 5 make that abundantly clear, yet Macaque is so much more insistent on placing MK into Wukong's role. Believing that MK must have missed the point. And MK kind of does miss the point. He's too focused on getting stronger to keep his friends safe from a threat, but it's not because MK doesn't care. And wow! Doesn't that sound familiar to another stone monkey who was getting stronger to help protect the people he cared about! Except this time the threat is REAL.

Macaque views things in a very black and white manner. He either can't or is refusing to see the nuance in MK's situation, and by extension, in Wukong as well.

MACAQUE: Maybe it's just me, but these guys don't look too happy about being left in the shadow of the great Monkie Kid.

Yet... he has to orchestrate them fighting MK by taking control over them because they never would have done that willingly, simultaneously proving Macaque's point obsolete! Interesting!

I'm not gonna get into their entire relationship that would take too long, but the point is, he is always self-projecting onto MK. Making assumptions based on his experiences with Wukong, conflating them with MK, and giving him these very one-sided and biased cautionary tales that refuse to acknowledge anything he has done wrong.

But it is important because it reveals a lot about his perception of his self. Again, talked about it a lot in the other post, but Macaque has a very skewed sense of self-worth.

MACAQUE: As the hero's light grew, so too did his shadow.

This all brings up a lot of really important things about Macaque's self-worth, which in turn tells you a lot about how he "idolizes" Wukong.

Even now, in shadow play, he keeps referring to himself as Wukong's shadow. He keeps acting as if he is an extension of Wukong despite his clear disdain for overshadowing his own autonomy by constantly allowing Wukong to trump over him.

Wukong is this bright light for him, as he describes, that made him stronger. A hero who is equally Macaque's greatest memories and ambitions as well as his worst. He had seen Wukong as this symbol, beacon of hope, that it would be them against the world.

There's certainly a level of him believing Wukong believes he is lesser than him, but it's clear that he believes that has always been the case due to how he is treating MK, but also how he is narrating their relationship. But in the past, we get zero indication that Wukong viewed Macaque as lesser.

Macaque is projecting his insecurities.

I'm avoiding talking about this too much because, again, this post goes into that, but this goes hand in hand with his insecurities and how he's always knocking himself down. His skewed perception of Wukong influenced by his insecurities, trauma, and grudge results in Wukong being placed in some unachievable pedestal that he had never been to begin with.

It isn't until after season 3, in season 4, that he seems to be actually assessing this about himself in a slightly more constructive manner than before.

With his video game lesson to MK, it's a bit too convoluted, it's still not quite what MK needs, but it's a much more honest and real attempt to genuinely help him than it is to project his own issues onto MK.

It's also the first time he admits that he was part of the problem, even if it's very indirectly. He acknowledges he never made his own choices, which isn't Wukong's fault.

Then he decides to help Wukong in the scroll, they basically extend an olive branch to each other and y'know that development is happening. But before all of that, the issue was that he refused to see Wukong as anything but an uncaring power-obsessed self-righteous hero who wouldn't hesitate to abandon the people he cares about. Something that arguably has never described Wukong in the first place?

A lot of Macaque's issues with Wukong are very understandable. Wukong had been impulsive, reckless, oblivious, childish, and greedy. However, there's a lot of things that simply weren't true. He still projects that old and definitely outdated idea of a person onto Wukong even in the present until he is forced to confront his own faults and ways he has hurt others. Wukong was never uncaring, not about Macaque at least. We are actively shown the opposite. We are also shown it not being reciprocated very well by him, which is where Wukong's obliviousness comes into play.

Macaque lets the bitter feelings from feeling pushed aside as well as his own insecurities spiral when he is no longer with Wukong. He becomes a face to blame all of his problems on. We don't know what happened after their fight under the mountain, but Macaque admits he was on a path of self-destruction, something that is evident before he even verbally admits that.

*Codependency

That's the quick answer here. I just wanted to explain it more lol.

I've run out of steam here but I'm just gonna throw these at you and hopefully after everything I just said it will speak for itself.

"Toxic codependency is a term that refers to an unhealthy... emotional relationship between two people. In a codependent relationship, the needs of one person are placed above the needs of the other. This type of behavior can lead to resentment, emotional stress, and negative mental health outcomes like anxiety and depression."

Most sources on codependent relationships tend to word it like it's some black and white situation, but more often than not they are very nuanced. Macaque is in a giver roll and Wukong is in a taker roll, though neither of them had malicious intentions with this whatsoever.

The point is, Macaque placed Wukong's importance above him, it reinforced viewing himself as inferior, this was something that Wukong awarded (most likely unintentionally) and then it inevitably blew up in their faces and now we're left with Macaque who is struggling with the aftermath of everything it put them through.

Just to make it clear, one of this is to discredit how much Wukong did hurt him. Again, very nuanced situation and relationship and not an easy one to talk about without yapping for way too long about it.

This isn't super related but I made this like a year ago because of brain worms and I do mention this all a couple times, it's kind of what I was pointing out. It's super out of context though because there was a whole infodump accompanying it but I don't have that rn.

also i have a little bit of attitude in it because it was partially a rant at his mischaracterization but this happened in a conversation between my close friends who have heard all of this 1000x times by now BAHAHSDJKFHKAFSD so sorry about the possible tonal whiplash

[winpocalypse]

you get post hell dean better than anyone. honestly i could talk forever about how perfectly you capture his motives & his voice

i would love to hear more of your thoughts on him, and specifically about how sam had to get used to this new, more violent version of his brotherhusband. the fandom is always eager to blame s4 sam for every single little thing that he says/does, but people never talk about the consequences of him not being able to save dean in s3 and then he had to kind of accept it and go on, finding purpose in using his curse for good and saving people with his powers. and then dean comes back and sam obviously can’t let him know everything that happened in those 4 months (his fear of dean’s reaction) and this new dean is even more desperate for control over him, and while some part of it might come from his fear of sam turning into a monster, there is also so much anger & desire to punish sam and obviously it comes from the fact that sam is once again trying to “get away” from him, both physically & metaphorically, and it’s also why we have the siren episode

what do you think of sam’s feelings in all this? especially in the context of him trying to get used to this much more violent & controlling dean? i also think it’s interesting how even despite wanting to get away from him and be more independent, sam still lets him beat him and degrade him. the power imbalance runs so deep in their dynamic, as well as sam’s guilt

thank you love!!!!!

idk if i can be eloquent and i feel this is going to be long and very sam-girl biased but let's <3

what i think is interesting about post hell dean (and unfortunately under-explored in the show) is that he has to adjust to the world again as a human being when he was a monster himself, for years! his controlling nature, i think, is not even only about sam abandoning him again- we actually see him in s1 when they go through that temporary break up lol that he’s willing to ""let sam go"" and when he’s leaving in s3 he wants sam to cling to his forgiving nature and all, he doesn’t really want him to go all hunter mode (not saying he's got healthy attachments here, i mean ahbl hello???, but it's some nuance we wouldn't see in s4 dean). what, i think, shifts in post hell dean is that he subconsciously knows something he fully realizes only in endverse- sam makes him human.

and after the reveal of demon blood and ruby, he believes he’s the one who also makes sam human (after all, he left and look the first thing sam does). dean always had the more black and white view of the world, he’s always sure he has to do the right thing by killing a monster. sam has more nuance in relation to this. so of course, after going to hell, experiencing monsters and becoming a monster himself, the dude has to cling and grip and hold on to what makes him human- his conviction that all monsters are evil (therefore sam is going evil) and he has to keep his (and sam’s) humanness by being by each other’s side at all costs. yeah, the dude’s a hypocrite and we love him for it. the thing is, sam is a another human being entirely, he doesn’t agree with dean in everything, and before hell, dean hates it, yes, but he was still standing up for sam, he was protective, he pretty much made sure he dies before he has to kill sam himself, like his dad asked him to. after hell? he’s killing sam before sam becomes the monster everybody’s saying he will become (i’m still pissed we never got to see sam go fully monster mode btw the dude deserved to be unhinged, he was saving everybody’s lives and they were like “you are disgusting monster sir” kill urselves!!!! but anyways)

because sam doesn’t have such strict views on monsters, he still believes he’s doing good even with “monstrous actions”. and because he’s more sensitive (and logical i would say but whatvs) he understands dean’s side, he does, but he still wants to do his part, he doesn’t want to be the little brother forever. and the thing is, if dean had caved for him just a bit, he would have sam, because in this point in the story (s4) sam doesn’t even want to leave anymore. he’s not leaving for college. he’s in! he wants to stay by dean’s side, but! he wants to be able to do his thing, use his abilities, help people, turn his curse around, to be the one protecting the family. he gets power hungry for sure, but he doesn’t turn on dean (he begs dean to come along!!!!!!), he’s just doing the little brother thing of trying to up him, prove himself. he gets so unbelievably frustrated when he’s asking dean to back him up, to be by his side, and maybe before hell, dean would have. but post hell, there’s just no way (with ruby??? might as well step and piss on him). and it’s now we see what happens when sam fights back. sam always takes the punches like it’s another thursday, even when he’s stronger, because they always were in a power imbalance (and because the show is 2005 it’s like “this is how guys express emotions” or whatever), it just gets much more obvious in s5 when sam goes full guilt mode and dean goes full punishment mode. but when sam fights back in s4, it blows up in his face, so all he can do after everything is accept it. the first most heartbreaking thing sam accepts is that he’s never leaving. the second is that he can never break out of his role as the baby brother freak, you know? so in hindsight i don’t even think he saw dean’s more controlling behaviour as like dean’s issue, i think he saw it as an appropriate response for his own “unforgivable” actions, you know? 

i hate them :(

[the-bi-space-ace]

I love your thoughts and analysis posts so much I’ve missed yapping about TBB 🥹

Their stubbornness is what I love so much about them. The differences between them is what makes them such an interesting pair. It makes their relationship so layered. If the entire cast was just an echo (ha) chamber of each other I’d probably get bored. Having them have something to disagree on or push back at each other for is part of what makes their paths as characters so much fun to pull apart.

I immediately think of Echo being dissatisfied during Common Ground about helping Separatists. Tech was the one arguing with him then, offering other perspectives. I could do a whole other post just about this episode and everyone’s motivations and reasons for acting the way they do here and my overall thoughts on the episode but I’ll hold it in for the sake of focusing on Hunter and Echo here 😅 (someday maybe I'll make a post about it... maaaaybe???) It’s a moment that isn’t between Hunter and Echo but I think of it regardless.

Neither of them truly ever bending is one of the reasons I’m so fascinated with them. Of course Echo wouldn’t, we know him well enough by now, and Hunter has other priorities that he’s tired of compromising on. There’s a push and pull here. I love the idea that they want to stay together - that’s why they talk about this issue so much - but ultimately realize they’ll never both be happy compromising their positions to do that.

So they let go and part ways and do what is going to be best for them. Even if it hurts. Even if it’s hard.

Something I didn’t touch on in the original post (it was miles long I could’ve talked miles longer 😅) is the apprehension in that scene on Pabu. At least at the start of that conversation I can pick up on some tension. Not bad tension just the kind of… ‘I’m not sure I'm going to like what you’re going to say but I’m asking anyway’ kind of tension. The kind that says ‘I care. I’m scared for you.’ The conversation is friendly. They’re excited to see each other. Hell, Hunter was the first one at the ship when Echo landed, I think that’s sweet (I’m a sucker for anything that shows care and affection, especially small gestures, I can’t help it.) There’s been more of these small gestures. Hunter pushing Echo out of the way when they go to save Gregor, Echo helping Hunter into the ship, him patching Hunter up in S1. While these aren't suuuuper relevant details I just love them and couldn't help but bring these moments up. It's the little things, ya know?

As far as the line goes, I think there are plenty of ways to interpret it! In my eyes it has always been clear that one of Hunter's primary personality traits is 'worry'. He's been essentially packed with anxiety the entire show and his way of coping, from the very begin, has been to avoid it. Can't have anxiety if you don't ever think about it and keep going and don't stop moving and don'tmentionCrosshair'sname, ya know what I mean? He knows these people can take care of themselves but the galaxy is changing. In ways none of them have ever experienced and much quicker than they could have predicted.

Who wouldn't be anxious?

I definitely believe, with my whole heart, that he worries about Echo out there. We have a line from Tech about Echo not answering his messages and I think that adds to the 'worry about Echo' and 'worry about change' thing that's going on. I mean, at this point Crosshair is gone, Echo has left to build the Clone Underground with Rex, and in the very next episode they lose their ship.

(as another side note (how many times can I add a side note until it's out of hand?) I want to mention just how much the Empire takes. Not just with the batch like I've mentioned above, but with everyone and everything. No one is safe, nowhere is safe. The Empire will expand and it will take lives. Echo leaving to be with Rex, to save clones, to resist the Empire in a direct way, opens him up to have the Empire take even more.)

Ultimately, while I don’t like the ‘when will it be enough’ line, likely won’t ever like the line, other interpretations and discussions will always be up my alley.

I think of how few people the batch has trusted outside of their own, how little they've given of themselves to anyone else, and seeing them take Echo in and then trust him to make calls when necessary... I might cry. It isn't small at all that they'd trust him and accept him in this way. That Hunter would trust him with the rest of them so readily. They care so much about each other, I swear. It is so clear to me how much respect is between them. They never go for low blows, never place blame, never let it get out of hand. Why would they ever want it to? They are a team.

I will admit that Hunter isn't an easy character for me to like, never has been, and I found it difficult to truly connect with him throughout the series while I tended to connect with others right away. Echo, Crosshair, Tech, and Wrecker all came pretty easily to me. Regardless of that it is still fun to try to pick Hunter apart and it helps me understand him better. It's one of my favorite ways to engage with media other than constantly writing about my faves going through The Horrors.

Echo will always be my favorite and I'll always feel more aligned with his perspective, but each character has their own motives and perspectives that are also worth exploring and we'll all have our own thoughts to add at the end of the day.

It's what makes yapping about them so much fun (:

The Weight of Joint Leadership

Headcanons and Ramblings about Echo & Hunter

I talked about this in a post ages ago and then I think @saturn-sends-hugs asked to be tagged if I ever posted it. I’m finally getting around to posting this 😅 it’s been in the works for over a year now.

Hunter and Echo have a unique relationship that isn’t extensively explored throughout the series but one that still gets some attention nonetheless. One thing I really started to notice when I rewatched S1 a while back is that Echo and Hunter have this unspoken equal partnership where Hunter looks to Echo to push him and Echo looks to Hunter to ground him. Echo lends his expertise and opinion and Hunter questions the practicality of things with an emphasis on silent communication. These two are really in this together and they know each other very well and are able to hear each other without even speaking. Their motives often align it’s the way they think it’s best to handle things that differs. I think of it as them standing on opposite sides of a river. They’re both going one direction but they have to take different paths.

That doesn’t necessarily make either path wrong, just different.

Obviously I prefer Echo, I think that’s clear just from *side-eyes my blog* everything about me but it’s important to me to dissect every angle, even if there are ideas I identify with and prefer more.

Within S1 there are at least a good handful of times that they communicate either silently or verbally on issues concerning plans or the squad. Some of these silent conversations happen in mere seconds, the two of them only exchanging a look and a few eyebrow raises before Hunter announces what they’ve decided to do. Other times they talk to each other, even if just for a few seconds, before moving on and continuing their mission.

I think it’s highlighted best in ‘Entombed’. They keep looking at each other, clearly seeking input, and following the other’s lead.

Echo has no issues bringing up his displeasure, not to anyone, but there are certainly times that he waits until he and Hunter are alone to discuss it. Like in S1 E8 - Reunion. Echo brings up how they should’ve left with Rex, how they could be helping. Hunter doesn’t necessarily hear him out entirely but I think he isn’t exactly ready to either. He's focused on carrying out the mission at hand, not switching up their situation entirely. Then we have S2 E1 where Echo pulls Hunter aside to have that infamous conversation about how they should be doing more. I can only imagine how many times they’ve had that exact talk. How many times they’ve sat in the cockpit or on a bunk in the middle of the night and whisper-argued at each other until they came to a standstill. There had to be a breaking point where they realized they were never going to see eye to eye on this. The 'Nuna Nuggets' mission comes immediately to mind (their absence in ‘Faster’) as the place this happened. I can only speculate because we didn't see it but I think they took that mission solo because it was both easily accomplished with only a pair and they really needed some alone time to hash some things out. Without prying from the rest of the squad. Time to have an adult conversation.

I think they argued. I think they were arguing over what their future as a group was and I think they couldn’t come to an agreement. I think this disagreement eventually landed them in a place where Hunter had to let Echo go in order to keep the peace between them. Echo had to finally step away from the Batch, away from retirement, and towards the future he wanted, the way he wanted to resist the Empire. This is a big step for both of them. Echo won’t give up. He’s going to go save other clones. He’s going to go with Rex. The harder Hunter holds on and refuses to let go the more he will push Echo away. The more they all will.

And since Echo won't stop pushing there has to be give. If they keep butting heads and standing on opposing sides of the platform it will only make the rift bigger. At some point peace has to be made about this difference in ideology.

I think we see this struggle between them again in ‘Tipping Point’.

The following conversation is about their future. Echo asks if they’re staying on Pabu indefinitely and Hunter says it might be the best thing for them. When Hunter inquires about what Echo is up to the following conversation happens:

Echo: Rex and I have built up a small network of clones. Some are in hiding, underground, others act as our contacts within the Empire.

Hunter: Echo. You’ve seen the power you’re up against. You can’t defeat them.

Echo: it’s not about that. It about fighting for our brothers.

Hunter: I understand why you’re doing this but… when will it be enough?

They immediately get interrupted by Tech and the conversation never reaches a conclusion.

(Side note that I am tossing around this being purposeful. Echo hasn’t reached an end to his journey, he isn’t done yet. ‘Enough’ doesn’t exist for him. Not yet anyway. He still has work to do. I have my issues with the TBB and it’s overall ability to delve into its theme and complete a story and Echo’s lack of conclusion is one of them but that is a different post for a different day.)

Caveat that I can only speculate because we do not get a lot of detail surrounding this line or how either of them are feeling at this moment but we have gotten glimpses of their differences throughout the series. I certainly didn’t handle it well upon hearing this line for the first time. Now, I think what the writers were trying to do was continue to harp on this difference in ideology between them. This difference in motivation. Truthfully, I find this line to be an over simplification of what Echo is trying to do here and it makes Hunter look bad. Insensitive, apathetic. Especially given how clone force 99 feels about and treats the other clones this… doesn’t make clone force 99 seem empathetic. Having Hunter ask ‘when will you be done helping the clones?’ when they’re still trapped and being experimented on, trying to escape the empire, and in hiding is like asking why even start the race if the finish line is ten miles away? I think this scene would’ve benefited from some sort of challenge from Echo about this idea that he should consider giving up on his cause. Something to put more strength behind this disagreement and give Echo more of a voice here. Instead we leave it cut off (again, perhaps purposeful even if I don’t like it) and leave it just like that. Unanswered. If Echo had pushed back perhaps I would feel differently about the scene. Alas, the bad taste in my mouth remains.

Personally, I think this line is in poor taste given all we know about Echo and what is happening to the clones. But I’d like to take it apart a bit to try and reframe it as best I can and show that it still has those elements of ‘leading with the heart’ and ‘leading with the head’ that I talked about earlier. Pushing for more and grounding.

Echo is building something. He’s building towards bigger impact change. A way to network and build and grow. He’s saving the clones, fighting for them, refusing to give up. And that’s so integral to who he is at the end of the day.

Hunter is pumping the breaks. He often does. He always has, even with his own squad. Keeping them even a little bit in line had to be a challenge. He’s used to people pushing, Echo isn’t an exception to this. He reminds Echo how powerful the Empire is. How it would be impossible to defeat them on their own.

Here they are again. Echo pushing for more, to do good, to help those in need, while Hunter offers some wider perspective. They’re too strong. Taking down the Empire isn’t going to happen. Not like this. And, really, that’s not what Echo is after here but you know what I’m getting at.

All of this is to say that I still believe Hunter and Echo very much need each other. Not despite their differences but because of them.

At the end of the day they still believe in one another. Hunter puts a lot of faith in Echo’s skills, in his abilities. He knows Echo is the man to count on and I think that’s partially why he tries to slow him down in some of these moments. Hunter grounds Echo. We know the man can be chaotic. Jump in feet first and not look down until he’s half way through the fall kind of man. Hunter is there to remind Echo to breathe. That he has a place to come back to and that place - Hunter hopes - will be with them. Hunter gave Echo a space to grow. A space to find who he was after Skako. I don't think that's a small gesture in any way. Hunter is a way for Echo to find something steady. When he's ready to. Listen, Hunter isn't a talker. He doesn't do big conversations about feelings. He isn't that guy. And he'd never come right out and say it but the love is there.

Echo sees how paralyzed Hunter gets in the wake of the Empire, in the midst of massive change. Echo is no stranger to change. He’s changed all his life. Every stage has been another big step, another way to pivot, another path to follow. He’s used to this. Hunter isn’t. Echo can push Hunter to do more than avoid his problems, avoid the inevitable. Echo steers Hunter and brings him opposing ideas and glares at him when he thinks he’s fucking up. He argues with him and pushes back and doesn’t let him get away with any bullshit or hiding without at least some argument. He drives Hunter towards action instead of away from it. In subtler ways but he still does. We see this when he advocates to go save Gregor, when he advocates for helping Rex, when he insists on saving the clones, helping free people. He pushes on issues he is passionate about and he wants to make Hunter see him at the very least.

Truthfully, I think he does. I think that's why he looks to Echo when making big decisions, why he believes in his abilities so much, and why he knows Echo has it covered.

They are fire and ice. Fight or freeze.

They are two people who don’t usually agree but they respect each other. These two are constantly checking in with each other, seeing how the other will react, and eventually fighting it out on an empty ship until they ultimately decide that the best thing to do is to part ways. Imagine how badly that hurt everyone involved. Hunter and Echo came to a decision together, like they usually do, and I can only imagine Wrecker and Tech’s reaction when they brought the both of them up to speed. Echo will be leaving with Rex the next chance he gets. He’ll be gone for however long he is gone. He may never come back. It’s been decided. I can only imagine how hard it was to hear that Echo was moving on without them and nothing they could say would keep him out of the fight. They knew who Echo was when he joined them, though, and I can bet they saw this coming eventually. (I headcanon that Tech knew how strongly Echo felt about this because they've talked prior but this post isn't about them so I'll ramble about their relationship another day <3) Especially after meeting up with Rex is S1. But the hurt doesn’t mean his choice wasn’t the right one for him.

These two are important to each other. I hope that importance, respect, and love is highlighted the further we get from the conclusion of the show. I hope it can be expanded upon, dissected, and get more development eventually. Because they deserve it. Because I know there is love there and I’d hate to see it go to waste.

In my opinion these two characters aren't meant to represent apathy versus empathy - although I totally see where that is coming from. I see it as avoidance versus action. It’s having to choose between hiding in safety and fighting in the line of fire and what happens when one of you believes in a cause that the other doesn’t. It's choosing what matters to you and watching someone you love choose a different path. It's knowing they're making a choice that you may not want them to but doing what is best for you regardless. It’s two people who butt heads but still hold respect for one another at the end of the day.

It’s that Echo will go where he is needed. And Hunter’s path is different.

[spaceratprodigy]

✨❤️ Faith and Max | [ 🔍 AU ] ❤️✨

In my heart, I have but one desire And that one is you No other will do

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

[savyir-genesizz-the-wizard]

The rest of the answers because it's my house and I'm gonna yap:

12. [Thoughts] on his ghost? Do they get along?

Dun: "Better think about what you are about to say, Cogi."

Cogito: "Eh. I'll try. He's the best ghost in the world."

Dun: "All right, all right! Ack. No, I'd say we get along. He's quite good at being sensible and not putting us both in danger like some guardians do. And trust me, I know a lot of ghosts and some of them have really scary stories to say."

Cogito: "I feel that we just can communicate properly and that's all."

Dun: "Yeah, we're in this together."

13. Motivation for being a guardian?

"I live by a Titan creed of servitude to the Last City. Of course I live by it by doing study and research, as Warlocks do best, but this... well, I've spent much time with Titans guarding the Walls. Someone has to be responsible. Usually it's me."

14. What shape is their nightmare?

"... I don't like talking about it. It understandably makes me quite... upset. Especially as of late. In the face of Eris'es... her... death, well, listen, I didn't know her well but she still would send me moon rocks to study so I wouldn't be so troubled my nightmare... I'm getting off track, what happened was that me and Dun ventured there to... I suppose pay her respect by doing that work ourselves. I've almost forgot their terrible... that twisted image of who they were. Worst of all was what they said. If I'm forced to see Savathûn again I'll have something to ask her. I fear that... she's going to keep her word from a few months ago."

15. Favourite Guardian event?

"Oh, it has to be Dawning. I'll admit - I love pastries. Cakes especially. And it's the best time of the year to get a lot of them. I don't like the Guardian Games though - my Hunter friends get insufferable during them."

16. What does he do off-duty?

"I don't really have strict borders between 'off' and 'on'. Taking care of the entire sector of the Asteroid Belt is a lot of work and a lot of responsibility. If my scouts need my help I need to get there no matter what. My down time is sleep and eating mostly. When I'm not assisting someone or making samples to ship to City and Reef Cryptarchs I'm doing my own studies."

17. Does he interact with civilians at all?

"All the time! The Cryptarchs and Owl Sectors are in direct collaboration with me. Other then that I take care of buying supplies myself so I'm known by textile and food merchants, postal services and occasionally weapon dealers too. And of course Hangar workers. I used to be friends with Amanda Holiday when she was- I mean... I don't know much about the current management."

18. How much glimmer does he keep on him?

Dun: "Empty your pockets, Cogito!"

Cogito: "Eh. I've spend everything on supplies during my last trip to Petra Venji."

Dun: "And that one transmog?"

Cogito: "Shhh shhhh, man, c'mon."

19. What's in his pockets?

"Uh, let's see. (Unties his sash and reaches into the pouches by the belt hidden under it) Spare handle for my cane, a knife, magnifying glass, a... bone? Chicken bone? No... Anyway... My Prismatic Marbles obliviously. Ooo, it's a granola bar. Opalite, a very pretty synthetic jewel, you see. And bullets and battery packs of course."

20. Does he have any secrets?

"Do I look like a man who doesn't?"

21. Bonus random fact:

"Uh, um... I- oh, I have one! This little ribbon I got here used to belong to a Titan I used to know- I mean, she died. During the Battle of the Twilight Gap. This was the mark that the leaders of supply lines had, she gave me this to pass the leadership on to me. I wear it with pride to this day."

All right, if you want any facts on Cogito-4, feel free to leave a ❤️

[candle5000]

HTTYD SOUNDTRACK

good evening folks. i’m crying over the how to train your dragon soundtrack(s) and it’s killing me (again).

i hope somebody out there relates to the intense visceral feeling i get in the beginning of “stoick saves hiccup” from the second movie. pure childhood nostalgia. pure melancholy. pure tears because of the way powell constructed the song and how it uses that theme (which is so familiar that i feel like it was actually introduced in the first movie but im not sure). guys. guyyyyyys. that THEME.

i actually feel like i’m going to explode every time i restart the song. like every single time. because of that theme. i’ve put it in every playlist that suits it and in every tier of bittersweet melancholy sad playlist i have and yet i am STILL unsatisfied and i feel as though new playlist for a new tier must be created because this feeling is so intense and different

i might just be having a Moment because i’m writing this at 1:30am. but what. the fuck. (and that’s not the only bit that’s hitting me in the feels. it’s the WHOLE DAMN SOUNDTRACK. with specific songs giving me specific feelings. *screams*)

somebody please talk to me about how to train your dragon’s soundtrack because i’m losing my mind and i say that about a lot of things i love but this is so different and raw and strange

like i can’t even describe how much these movies mean to me and a huge chunk of that is the soundtrack. like i can barely type right now because all i want is to be able to plaster my feelings and the music onto this post because nothing else is working to describe it. i keep trying to speak but what comes out is “guh” because i want to express the music desperately and physically

(i saw it in a theater recently and that triggered this hyperfixation. got so many chills and tears during that showing. like i feel like im going to actually blow up just thinking about it)

anyways

[daily-hanamura]