#HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS I LITERALLY REMEMBER LISTENING TO INNER ARTS WHEN IT CAME OUT

[mothbaaalls]

i learned a while ago that ia has her own equivalent of project diva for the ps vita...

i can't believe i didn't know about it before because it had pretty much all of the kagepro songs that feature her, plus "inner arts" (also by jin), "setsuna drive," (by 9mm parabellum bullet, which i've been deranged about for like 10yrs), "life-sustaining treatment" (by neru), "a realistic logical ideologist" (by goboumen, which i've also been deranged about for even longer than setsuna drive), and "wailing vampire" (by yasuhiro, which i've been deranged about for equally as long as setsuna drive. it's only in dlc though)

[beuxwhoyouare]

Escaping Holiday Responsibilities

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and all the boys. And who can forget about singing Hanerot Halalu after lighting the menorah. There’s symbols and entities representing all of the holidays. But outside of the season we enjoy our peace and quiet. Sometimes though a season is so rough you can’t really blame an entity for wanting to get away.

I may or may not be Santa Claus. I’d say the best perk about the gig is that when the time comes you’re almost guided to your successor who then dons the classic look. So it’s a give and take. I mean having the power to fulfill lists of gifts you desire is great, but acquiring the look of a tubby bearded old man isn’t all that. The coolest thing though is you may not know it, but just because you don’t write a list doesn’t mean you don’t have holiday desires. I can still deliver gifts based on the list you make in your hearts. Cute as hell right? I’m basically a mind reader!

Before all this Claus business, I was unemployed and recently divorced when I received the call to step into the good ol boots. So a gig is a gig. I took it and ran, but that was like 30 years ago. So now once I retire I’m actually gonna look old and ragged.

So there I was last night delivering gifts at this random place in Chicago. Doing my best to stay quiet, delivering gifts as low key as possible when CRAAAAAACK! I stepped on a large glass ornament I somehow missed. I thought I was in the clear after no one came to check what happened and as I headed on my way out a baseball bat swung at my head.

I took the hit like a champ but when I turned around to see I saw a man standing there in black sweatpants and a sleeveless shirt with the bat ready to swing again.

“Ho ho hey hey wait. I’m literally Santa.” I whisper yelled while showing snowy crystals come out of my glove.

Right as he began to swing again I pulled more tricks out of my hat.

“I know your name is Russell O’Connor. You got a gunmetal tricycle as a 4 year old because you thought the red ones the store had were tacky and wanted to look tough!”

That’s when he stopped mid-swing.

“How-how did you know that pervert? Have you been watching me for years?”

I began to hear his inner list….a young man now in his mid-20s regretting his life decisions to get a girl knocked up as a teen? Interesting. He desires to get away from the so-called mess he made.

“I can offer you a way out of the mess you made. If that’s what your true hearts wish is this Christmas?!” I pleaded to not be beaten once again.

“How do you know what I want freak?”

“Bro I’m Santa, I know when you’ve been like bad or good and whatever. Listen do you want to get away from the mess you made or what?”

“Yes okay but like how are you going to do it? You’re not going to kill me or anything?”

“Honestly no one’s really ever wished for this so I gotta be able to do it somehow. That’s the Santa magic!”

“Okay let’s go for it. Do it! Get me out of here!”

I closed my eyes and rubbed my gloved hands together and then pulled them apart. As I pulled them apart a spark started forming but I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I tried to hold it steady but before I knew it, the spark grew too wild to control. The energy then turned white and exploded.

There was a ringing and we both yelled but then black.

When I woke up I found myself pushing up from a bed? That’s weird I don’t remember finishing all my deliveries. I reached up to scratch my beard but instead of my long luscious white beard a more close shaved beard grazed my hand. Wait where are my gloves? And my beard?

I looked down at the bed I didn’t recognize before looking back up to walk over to a nearby restroom with the night light on. The dim glow painted a picture I couldn’t believe. Surely I’m dreaming?

I fumbled around the foreign room before locating the light switch, only to have the bright lights confirm what I was seeing. I raised both arms and posed….

“No fucking way!?” The cursing surprised me, being a Claus the job prevents your mouth from ever even forming a curse word.

I’m Russell? But the Santa step down process just returns you to your normal self not swaps you with someone? How did this? Could my desires have matched with his conflicting my magics intent?

I lifted the shirt barely hiding anything of my new body I now resided in. Woah…I wasn’t much of a gym person in my former life but maybe there’s reason to be. I mean look at this beef? I reached my muscular hand up to my new proud chest and squeezed. Ahhh grazing my new nipple I revealed a new found sensitivity I never previously had. Looks like that’s going to be fun, I nearly salivated.

I can do adult things again and live a life again! No more having to spend months working to achieve someone else’s dreams. Or maybe I’ll fulfill other dirtiest dreams. I mean this body should go to work somehow.

I’m sure OnlyFans would love to see how thick I am everywhere. It’s time to be a family man settle down the right way and make a good living by selling the best gift I’ve ever given myself.

My new tool hardening nearly pulling down my sweatpants waistband itself. I grabbed it before taking a peak at my new equipment. Ohhhhh looks like I’ll still be delivering gifts to quite a few people in different ways with this beer can.

[st-el-la-luna]

Thinking about @charliemwrites Charmed Slasher!Ghost

First of all:

Perfect Wife by Amigo the Devil

"And if I hurt you, please forgive me. Love makes you do funny things"

Music recommendations aside, let's crack in.

18+ Content. NSFW. AFAB reader you/your pronouns used. Mentions of mensurating, blood, period sex, oral (reader receiving), blood consumption

Charmed Slasher Ghost who, for one reason or another, has a nose like a bloodhound. Can smell the change in your hormones in the days leading up to your period. Can smell your blood. And oh, fuck, does he want more of it. More. More. More. More. More.

Will throw out or hide your medications, break your heating pads, get rid of the caps for your hot water bottle, leaving you with nothing. He listens to you whine and complain for a while before, casually:

"You know, I've heard an orgasm can help with that."

While a part of him wants nothing more than to take you right there, he waits. He wants you to come to him. Wants to see you all sad and pathetic. Pupils blown, cheeks burning, lips parted with laboured breaths, pouting, eyes watering, voice trembling with shame and desperation as you ask him to please please please help.

He's not going to make it that easy for you though.

"Don't you have toys sweet thing? Don't you have fingers?"

Simon's been watching though. He knows. Knows that you can't cum, not on your own. Knows your fingers can't reach those places that make you see stars and your toys just can't give you that final push over the edge.

He wants to hear you say it though. Wants you to tell him that you need him. Wants you to beg.

And you do.

It doesn't take long. In fact, it happens so quickly you almost get whiplash. In one moment, you're in the kitchen pleading with Simon, tears in your eyes.

The next, well... There are still tears in your eyes. Just for a different reason.

Blood soaked panties torn off, Simon wastes no time pushing two thick fingers inside. It's tight. It's warm. It's wet. When he pulls his fingers back, they're coated in red.

You whine at the loss and he doesn't disappoint, touching you in ways you've never been touched before. Fingers curling inside you, abusing this spongy spot that has your back arching, thumb rubbing against your clit so harsh it's almost cruel.

Your head is thrown back, eyes shut, slack jawed. You can't remember the last time you felt this good.

"How's that sweetheart? That feel good?" he croons, his eyes almost overtaken by the black of your pupils.

He leans in to your inner thighs, wet with arousal, spit and blood. His tongue lolls out.

Your eyes go wide. You reach down to grab at his hair, trying to pull him away. "Wait, I—"

He growls. Literally growls, his eyes dark.

"Thought you wanted help... You didn't expect me to do this for nothing, did you?" He asks lowly. His free hand goes from grabbing at your hips and massaging the fat of your ass, to holding your wrists in a vice like grip.

He lowers himself again, still working his fingers. His breath is hot and warm against sensitive skin. His eyes flutter. He lets out something between a sigh and a moan, inhaling the smell of your blood.

Is he...?

He is.

You realise, eyes widening, jaw going slack, from both shock and the way he's curling his fingers inside you, abusing your sensitive spots. He's actually drooling.

He groans, then dives in, flattening his tongue against your thigh and licking a long stripe, gathering your blood and arousal on his tongue. His eyelashes flutter. His eyes roll back. His hips buck against empty air.

"So fucking good..." He grumbles as he slips a third finger in, licking and biting at the meat of your thighs. "Taste so fucking good."

He works you to not one but three orgasms. Once on his fingers, once on his tongue and once on his cock. Until you're fucked out and sated, boneless.

He brings his fingers down, gathers up a heaping portion of his cum and your blood from between your legs, then brings his fingers to your lips.

"Open wide, sweetheart."

Please reblog to support my writing!

Masterlist

[savannahsdeath]

Hi <33 I love love love your writing and I really want your take on what fucking santa barbara!Ellie would be like if your up to it 🫶🫶

first of all THANK YOU💗💗 and yes ofc i tried my best !!

SANTA BARBARA!ELLIE X READER HEADCANONS + EXAMPLE ONESHOT

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! smut

writers note: its not like my typical hcs because this ones more like umm with plot?? idk how to say this but i hope ykwim😓ENJOY!!

🌿 she's definitely rough like im sure 100%

🌿 she would degrade you but she also praises you from time to time

🌿 now, hear me out, she doesnt have her usual smirk. like someeetimessss but mostly she looks so stern and focused youre literally scared to make a sound

🌿 she definitely doesnt care about making a mess. shed be sooo sloppy istg!!!!

🌿 she also doesnt care about whatever youre saying. she barely listens. everytime you hit her with a 'stop/too fast' she either completely ignores you or replies with some 'huh? what did you say?' and shed go even faster..

🌿 she def uses strap but also loves just using her fingers. she just wants to feel it ykwimmm

heres an example story(lets skip the plot)

its not really what i meant but whatever😓

You couldn't stop yourself from moaning, what seemed like an invitation for Ellie to shush you by pressing her lips to yours. It silenced you, but not stopped, as your inaudible groans were now caught in Ellie's throat.

You were unable to move, pressed against the wall, so she didnt need to hold you. With her free hands she started undressing you both, knowing you wont be able to do so by yourself. She didn't break the kiss though, only stopping for a second when she had to pull your shirt over your head and didn't have access to your face. She continued right after.

You're not sure when did you moved to the bed, but here you were, laying down beneath her.

She kissed your neck, leaving wet spots on it. She was moving down your body, as you played with her hair, shutting your eyes closed.

Not long after that, a few more of your body parts were red from her nibbling - inner thighs mostly.

Even though she took her time, it didn't take too long. She knew youre impatient and wasn't in mood to mess with you, not yet, not like that.

Soon after, she buried her face between your legs, planting the same messy kisses all over there.

Her hands were holding onto your thighs, preventing them from clenching. You knew her grip will leave bruises, painful ones too, but you didnt care.

Ellie's tongue was definitely doing a good job, playing with your clit, slidding in and out of your entrance.

Her fingers didn't loose up but her thumbs started gently tracing circles on your skin, which definitely made it seem less aggressive.

When she was finished with her mouth, one of her hands took the initiative. She was rubbing two of her fingers for a few short moments, before pushing them in.

You were finally able to see her face - her expression. She looked at you firmly, like one bad move could get you killed.

You were whining and whimpering, desperately begging her to slow down.

"Sh, shhh... Just take what youre given, will you?" The corners of her mouth moved slightly upwards, creating a little smile.

You nodded but continued squirming, your thighs trembling, breath shaking...

"Oh, dont be so dramatic. Youre doing good, you'll handle it, trust me." She reassuringly patted your side. "People survived worse things."

Did that help? Well...

But you knew its the best she can do when it comes to being nice. You couldnt blame her, not after you found out about her past. She killed more people than you ever talked with, after all..

Your mind went blank and you couldnt think of anything to say, so you kept mumbling the two words you always do - 'Ellie' and 'please'. At this point, it seems your mouth remembered how to say these. Your tongue knew exactly what to do to make them come out of your mouth, while it was struggling with any other word.

But it was enough for her to know what you want to say.

When youre finally done (she can tell youre close by the way you scream her name, so she knows when to go faster), she cleans you up with her toned expression.

"See? You'll live, atta fucking girl."

[treedaddymcpuffpuff]

Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five Six

TW: violence, choking, mentions of bdsm, abuse of authority, cops, unfair power dynamics, harassment, body fluids and drug use mentions, mentions of harm/accidents

For California, it’s a bit chilly out this morning. The sun is getting a lazy late start, just beginning to yawn golden orange and fiery yellow over the horizon. Julian’s hair in that light is the high shine of fashion magazine model locs, and you’re, as usual, opening your mouth before you think. “What shampoo and conditioner do you use?”

He seems thoroughly amused. “Honestly? You’re going to be mad about it.” 

“Try me,” you prod, slipping inside his little sports car that smells like lemon air freshener and coffee. 

He seems a little cramped in the seat, knees bent up and head almost touching the ceiling, and you wonder if he actually even tried to get into this thing before buying it. 

“It’s a rental,” he explains.

“Did you get into an accident?”

“A truck hit mine while it was parked.” 

“How are you so calm about that? I’d punch someone.” 

He looks over at you with a sculpted, raised brow. “I just cannot imagine you hurting a fly, y/n.” 

“Flies are innocent, truck drivers are free game.” 

He gives you a big laugh that strokes the flame of your ego. “You’re hilarious. I use men’s body wash.” 

“What?” Okay, he’s right, you are a little mad. You use shampoo and conditioner that are specifically supposed to soften your hair, but the poof on your head absolutely pales in comparison to his soft, beautiful mane that gets the luxury of … what? Old spice? Axe body wash? 

“I told you,” he sings, turning on the engine. 

Genetics is a bitch. 

He takes you to a fancy little French inspired coffee shop cuddled into the center of an outlet mall with salt lamps and big ferns and comfy chairs. You settle into a nook closests to the sunned windows so Julian can keep an eye on his rental, which is understandable. No part of LA is good to have a Porsche in, but especially not the inner city. 

“This is delicious,” you tell him through a mouthful of warm croissant, covering your lips in embarrassment when you realize that your table manners are less than adequately prepared for a date with a doctor. 

“They have the best coffee,” he agrees, taking a sip of his steaming latte. 

You don’t have time to stop your brain from comparing Julian to a certain cop you know who prefers his coffee black and bitter, or at least that’s what he told you when he saw you drinking your vanilla cream cold foam at the nurse’s station. 

Julian is talking, you think, and you’re only half listening while you remember how Tom had snatched that drink right out of your hands and held it up in the air. 

“Give it back!” You hissed, reaching up on tiptoes while he laughed at the pathetic rescue attempt. 

“Careful, honey, don’t hurt yourself for this pathetic excuse of caffeine. What is it anyway? Is there even coffee in here?” 

After he walked away with his discharge paperwork, your coworkers were understandably curious about the tall, puckish cop who fucked with you any chance he got. 

Miguel watched his ass move the whole way down the hallway and out the glass exit doors while literally clutching the rosary under his scrub shirt as if a devil had just walked by, then looked over at you. “What a man.”

“Are you alright?” Julian asks, bringing you back to the present conversation with a hand over your forearm. He does seem concerned, and it makes you feel like a piece of shit. This guy is a gentleman and here you are on a date with him fantasizing about the brute that is Tom Ludlow. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You wave away his concern. “Tell me about you, Julian. What do you do for fun? Doctor-by-night, Violin-player-by-morning? 

He chuckles. “Nothing that cultured. I like riding motorcycles.”

“Really?” You ask, genuinely surprised and trying to imagine Julian in a gang of bikers with cracked leather skull and snake jackets. 

“I love them.” He nods. “I have three that I take for long rides along the coast. You get lost in it, the wind and salt and sand. The rumble of the engine under you.”

“I’ve never been on one,” you tell him, “and I’m honestly surprised you ride them after what we see in the ER. Don’t you remember that guy that had his calf hanging on by a tendon? Or that woman who had half her face missing?” 

“Yes, I do. But I go the speed limit and wear the proper gear. And I like the thrill.” 

It’s not just the casual t-shirt and worn jeans or the way the light halos his thick silk nest of hair or the roguish grin that makes you see Julian in an entirely new way, now. “You’re wild, Dr. Mercer.”

He licks spilled cream at the ridge of his coffee cup, rubs at the skin of your forearm with his fingers, and winks. You wonder what he would look like between your legs doing the same thing, except with your fingers gripping that luscious hair. 

“You should let me take you for a ride, sometime,” he suggests, and for a minute you forget you’re talking about motorcycles. 

“Oh, I don’t know, Julian.”

“C’mon.” He nudges your knee under the table and relaxes back into his seat, now reminding you too much of someone else you know. Same height, same hair color, same facial structure. 

Fuck. Really? 

“Good boyfriends take their girlfriends on long, romantic motorcycle rides.” 

“But you’re not my boyfriend.”

His smile droops a little bit and it makes you feel bad for being so illiterately ignorant. Well, you feel bad until he opens his mouth. “I am, though.”

He paints it playful, but it sounds a little bit pushy-bossy, even. “I don’t know about that, either, Julian.”

He tries a different angle. “You know, believe it or not, most women would consider me quite the catch.” 

You hope your face doesn’t betray the little bit of ick you get from him saying something so egotistical. “I don’t doubt it, and you deserve someone that can give you what you’re looking for.” 

“You think you can’t give me what I’m looking for?” He leans across the table in sudden intensity, and you balk at the notion. 

“No, I honestly don’t.”

“Why?”

You start to say something, but he cuts you off. “And, I really mean why? Why can’t you give me what I’m looking for? Enlighten me.” 

“I’m not-I have too much baggage.” You unconsciously lean away from his swelling intensity. 

“That’s a little vague.” He frowns. 

“I’m not normal, Julian. You seem like you would like normal women.” You cringe at the childish sentiment, but truly have no idea how to get the point across except for basically telling him that you’re a freak with a bad past and worse coping mechanisms. You eat slices of bread for dinner and drink out of the milk carton. Julian probably irons his shirts. This will not work. 

“You’re assuming I’m normal?”

“Yes. I guess I am.” You lean back and cross your arms over your chest. 

“Well, I’m not. In fact, I’ll prove it to you.” He takes out his wallet, pulls a laminated card from it, and slides it over the table to you. 

“What..” It’s a little red card framed in black with big bold letters on the front advertising a BDSM club in the heart of downtown Venice. “What is this?” 

“BDSM is bondage, domination-“

“I know what that is,” you interrupt. “I just meant.. You go here?”

“I do.” He nods and takes a drink. “I occasionally engage in scenes.”

You decide that you should coat your suddenly very dry mouth and drink a big gulp of your coffee. “Like with a dominatrix?”

He laughs at you, puts his head in his hand and shakes his head. “No. I prefer to be the dominant one.” 

You look at-really, really look at this man for the first time and honestly cannot imagine him taking that role. 

He must see the confusion on your face, because his laughter grows. “That’s the usual reaction I get.”

Curiosity killed the cat. Curiosity killed the-you know what, fuck it. 

“So, what do you do at the club?” 

“A typical play scene, you mean?” How in the hell he can be so casual and relaxed about this you’re not sure. Because you can already feel the cold sweat breaking along your shoulders and neck. 

“I guess? Yeah.”

“Well, ideally the woman is tied up in some fashion, and of course there’s a safe word, negotiated limits. Perhaps a punishment scenario with pain play. Are you okay?” 

He looks at your table-clutching, white knuckled hands, searches your face, giving you a genuine concerned expression that makes you wonder what actually is going on with you right now. You feel like you're on a tightrope over a ravine of crocodiles and Julian’s on the other end lazily sawing at the rope with dull scissors.

“I’m fine,” you say breathily, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. “Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about all that.”

His gentle smile is nothing less than kind, though maybe also, a little disappointed. “I get that a lot too.”

“Is that…the only way you enjoy sex?” you ask quietly, leery of the blue-haired old lady just two tables away.

“No,” he seems happy to tell you. “Though it is…the way I enjoy sex most.”

You blink, digesting this with understandable trepidation. He’s basically telling you that it would be impossible to be in a relationship with him without dipping into this eventually. And you…? 

Are definitely intrigued, and you’re not really sure why.

“You said you have baggage,” Julien probes cautiously. You can feel him looking at you, but you’re not quite up to eye contact with him yet. You fix your gaze out the window. “Well, I do too. I haven’t had a perfect life. No one does, and I’m not interested in a perfect girlfriend. I like you, y/n.”

You feel your breath go out in an audible whoosh. It actually makes him smile-you feel it like rays of the sun. How can this man be so warm, and yet have such a dark side?

Well, maybe it’s not a dark side, you reason. Maybe it’s just…a thing he likes, and between consenting adults, what’s the harm?

“So…” You can’t help but think about how odd this is, discussing this in this coffee shop filled with mild-mannered caffeine addicts. What you really want to ask, is what happened to him that makes him like this kind of sexual play, but you know it would be too far, and you damn well don’t feel like talking about your own fucked up past. But there is something you do feel you have a right to know. “Is this something you want to do to me?” 

Again, he fixes you with that bad boy smirk that gives you chills and utterly ruins your panties. “Since the moment you stood up to me over that patient,” he admits. And maybe that should alarm you, that he wants to tie you up and hurt you for being defiant about something that deserved defiance. It does alarm you, but… It also… It sounds a little thrilling. “In fact-“

Julian and the rest of the world and even your own thoughts disappear when you meet a pair of familiar, sun tinted eyes out the window of the coffee shop. He’s grinning-when is he not grinning at you like he knows what it does to your helpless insides?-and licking his fingers, tearing off a yellow parking ticket to slap it under the windshield of Julian’s rental.

“Uh, Julian-“ 

“Just let me finish,” Julian insists. His bossy tone irritates you, but Tom brightens the mood by making a jerking off motion towards the doctor, and then winking at you. 

You can’t help but laugh. It’s honestly involuntary, the loud wheeze that tears from your chest and makes Julian look outside to see the yellow ticket shining under his wiper as Ludlow’s ass saunters away. 

You’re not sure what Julian’s plan is when he storms outside to catch Ludlow by the arm, but you’re definitely following ten strides behind to prevent his untimely death. 

“I’m parked legally.” His voice is a menacing growl instead of the smooth honey you’re used to, and yeah, maybe now you can see a little bit of that Dominant Persona he was talking about. 

“Not after 9AM,” Tom says, unbothered by Julian’s anger, still grinning like an idiot. 

“It’s eight-thirty,” Julian argues, tugging on Tom’s sleeve-that earns him a bent back arm and even the appearance of handcuffs. 

“Tom, stop it, fucking really?” 

“Sorry, honey, your boyfriend’s going to jail.” 

“For what?!” You and Julian both demand at once. 

“Putting his pristine fucking hands on what’s mine.” Tom tugs Julian up on his toes and clicks one handcuff into place. 

You hope he means his uniform, but you have a feeling he doesn’t. 

“That’s way too tight and you know it,” Julian grunts. 

“What, someone likes to dish it out but can’t take it? Don’t be a bitch,” Tom muses, grabbing Julian’s other arm and twisting it-not gently-behind his back. 

“Tom, you fucking dickhead.” 

He looks at you as he’s putting the other cuff on your date. “Oh, I’ll deal with you later.” His grin looks more like a snarl at this point, and you think that Julian could probably take some pretty good Dom pointers from Tom, because your heart is galloping and your clit is pulsing despite the absolute absurdity of the situation. Also-it's a miracle-your sassing mouth has snapped shut. 

After Officer Ludlow practically throws Dr. Mercer into the back of his Charger, slamming the door, he turns to you with a smirk and his thumb in his belt. Goddammit, if that fucking look doesn’t go straight to your lady parts.

“Tom…you cannot do this.” 

A tow truck has pulled up, and is in process of impounding the sweet little Porsche.

He steps up to you in those big black boots that make him a mile tall.

“You’d be surprised what I can and cannot do, sweetheart.”

“Please.” You hate how desperate you know you sound. 

He taps his chin. “Well, I do like the sound of that. But it would be a lot more convincing if you got on your knees and said it.”

“You asshole,” you seethe, even as you can feel the moisture pooling between your legs.

“That kinda language definitely isn’t going to get Doctor Bitch Boy out of my car.”

“What the fuck do you want then?” You know it was a stupid question the moment it flies from your mouth. He’s going to reply with something filthy, and demeaning, and-

“Have dinner with me.”

You’re going to need another tow truck just to get your jaw up off the ground. 

“You’re going to get in trouble for this,” you say. “This isn’t harassing a lowly broke-ass nurse. He is going to sue the shit out of you.”

Tom just snorts at that, unimpressed. “Did you know your friend likes to hang out at a BDSM club in Venice Beach? Whips and chains and shit? Bet this asshole has mommy issues from here to Pasadena. Come on, y/n, you don’t need that in your life.”

It almost sounds like he’s…worried about you?

Officer Ludlow has no idea how badly he’s misjudged you, now that he’s pissed you off. “Maybe I like it,” you snipe back, stretching up so you’re almost in his face. “Fact is, it’s none of your fucking business.”

Ludlow just narrows his eyes down at you, those dark orbs glinting like sharp obsidian. “Well, sorry, guess he’s not tying you up tonight, baby. He’s gotta cool down in the tank.”

He makes to go, but you reach out, not grabbing him, per se, but just touching his chest. He freezes, and you can practically feel him vibrating beneath your hand. With excitement, because he fucking lives for being an asshole, or…you hate to think you know the real answer.

His mitt of a hand covers yours, holding it just above his heart.

“Tom….” Caught up in this tension between you, you’re not even sure what you’re asking now. 

You expect him to say something dirty, or snide, but instead you swear that just for a moment, his gaze softens as he looks down at you. “Dinner?” he asks again, with a note of hope in his voice that is almost endearing, if he wasn’t being such a class A jerk.

“I can’t.”

His demeanor changes in less than a second, drawing up to his full height, his shoulders squared. He flicks down his sunglasses that were on his head, so you can no longer even see his eyes. His voice changes, drops an octave, something. The authority in it makes you shudder inside. “Wave to Dr. Bitch Boy, y/n, we’re going for a little ride.”

Before you can grab him, or do anything, really, Tom is behind the wheel, speeding off with a very pissed off Julian in the back seat.

Your heart drops to your feet as you are left standing there alone on the sidewalk without a ride, and completely at a loss as to what to do.

***

“I’m going to fucking sue you,” Julian grits, kicking the back of Tom’s seat for good measure. 

“Yeah, yeah, with your doctor money,” Tom grumbles, taking a big swig of coffee with one hand and steering recklessly with the other because it’s fun to watch that skinny fuck bounce around helplessly in the seat. 

“I’m not getting booked tonight, Officer Ludlow. I’m calling my fucking lawyer.”

“Sorry, Doctor Bitch, your Lawyer’s busy until tomorrow afternoon, didn’t you hear?”

“You son of a-“

Tom gasses the car over a big pothole and it sends Julian flying into the opposite door. It’s a sight he could almost get off to.

Julian, big goose egg swelling up on his temple, gets yanked out of the squad car and tossed on the shit smeared, needle peppered streets of South Central. “They probably need you here more than the hospital, Doctor. Have fun–”

“Wait! Fuck. I’m still cuffed for fuck’s sake!” Tom gives the little guy credit for being able to get up on his feet so fast with his hands behind his back and a probable minor concussion. “You can’t leave me here.”

Tom pauses with his hand on the lip of the hot car door, but only to memorize the sight of a sweat-stained, wild eyed, trembling distinguished doctor about to get his shit wrecked on the mean LA Streets. He’s guessing Julian’s never visited much outside of Hollywood, Venice, and Santa Monica, and the cute little horrified expression on his face is testament to that. 

Tom taps the hood of his car. “See ya, Doc.” 

“You know,” Julian says, “this isn’t going to stop me from seeing her, Tom.” 

Well, if he wants a fight. 

Tom slams the charger door, whips off his belt, backs Julian up until he falls on his ass into a steaming puddle of unknown origin, and loops the leather around his neck. 

He tugs him up by the belt, onto his toes, eliminating that fraction of height difference just so he can see the whites of this prick’s eyes. 

He doubles the wrap of the belt in his fist, and Julian sputters something unintelligible through a thick choke. 

“What’s wrong? Thought you liked this shit?” Tom pretends to wait for an answer that he prevents. “Oh, that’s right, you like being the one doing the choking. That gets your dick wet, huh? Beating on women?” 

He wants nothing more than to choke this fucker unconscious and leave him on the streets for the hepatitis rats to chew on his toes, and, fuck it, if he ends up passing out by the time Tom’s done saying his peace, then so be it. 

“You can see her all you want, asshole. Take her on as many dates as you like. But if I see one fuckin’ bruise on her-one red mark on that pretty skin-I’m gonna make the rest of your short life very fucking unpleasant. Comprende?” 

[elliespassagerprincess]

The air is getting crisp fall is coming so a bôa song is definitely needed can you do twilight by them

Twilight - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! Your wish is my command! Ugh I wish it was fall where I live, it's literally so fucking hot lmao... I hope you enjoy it <3

this story is based off the song Twilight by Bôa, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one!

HUGE Warnings: descriptions of violence, murder, death, gore, sadness, small mention of depression and graves (don't read this if you aren't in the right mental state)

Summary: In which you couldn't win Ellie's heart

Authors note: ladies and ladies, the violence is back! Idk man it's been a while since I've written something like this. Remember you are loved <3

Your word and my word and her word is

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

And twilight gives me, an inner sanctity

And you're feeling, and you're hungry for her

And you don't understand it

But you know you haven't planned it

Your feelings and mine are all lonely

And dawn comes you're there lying with me

And you reach out to touch me, but I am in the twilight

You heard Ellie let out a sigh as she continued venting to you about Dina.

Stupid Dina.

Seems like all Ellie could talk about was her.

Why her? Out of all the people on the fucking planet why did it have to be Dina?

"She said "hey Ellie" and she didn't even smile with me! like what the fuck???" Ellie practically yelled with frustration.

You rolled your eyes at Ellie.

"Ellie calm down maybe she had a bad day"

Ellie stopped pacing around the room to look at you.

"Yeah.... you're right! She doesn't hate me she's just tired" Ellie said with a small smile.

You watched as Ellie lowered herself onto your bed and she looked up at you with a shy smile. She reached out her arms in your direction "cuddle?" she asked softly.

You let out a sigh as got into the bed spooning Ellie. She let out a hum of satisfaction.

"Ellie you need to stop doing this"

"doing what?"

you only shook your head and thought: "making me fall in love with you"

"friends don't cuddle" you brought up.

"Friends do" Ellie argued.

"Dina wouldn't like this" you added.

"well Dina isn't here right now" Ellie spoke matter of factly as she snuggled closer to you.

All you did was sigh as you brought your hand up to scratch Ellie's head. She let out a moan and she closed her eyes.

"You are a great friend, you know that?" Ellie spoke through a yawn.

Yeah, you were a great friend.

Your feelings and mine are all holy but,

You know and I know it's untrue because

When day dawns you're there lying with me

And the dawn can fly away

And you know I love you but you know that

There's nothing you can do about it

Because you love her, and you still want me

If I could be her... but I'm not her and she's not me

And you're somewhere different, on a different planet

You loved Ellie. You loved her a little more than a friend should.

Every time you saw her, your heart raced. She made you feel hot by just giving you a smile. Ellie made you feel things. Things you've never felt before.

You loved her.

But you knew she didn't feel the same.

You lay many nights next to Ellie, listening to her complain about Dina who's oblivious to Ellie's feelings.

It hurt you.

Seeing how Ellie always smiled when Dina walked into a room. Seeing how excited Ellie got, every time Dina said something. Every time Dina complimented Ellie, she almost exploded with joy.

It made you sick.

You tried being Dina.

Maybe Ellie would love you if you were someone else.

Maybe it was the way you did your hair? Was it the way you dressed? Was it the way you looked? What made Dina so special?

You tried cutting your hair the same length as Dina. You started dressing like her. You even copied her stupid music taste.

You tried. You tried so fucking hard.

But you could never be her and Ellie would never see you like that.

You knew Ellie loved you. She wanted you, but not in the same way you wanted her.

You were her best friend.

The girl she could go to with her problems, the girl who would help her with her hair and outfits.

You were nothing more than a friend.

You wanted to be Dina and you prayed to the gods that you could become her. But you didn't. You were nothing more than a friend in Ellie's eyes.

You saw how much Ellie's crush on Dina affected her.

How much it hurt her knowing that Dina most probably doesn't feel the same. And you being the amazing friend that you were, you decided to help Ellie.

You made it your mission to get them together.

Even though it hurt you knowing Ellie would never love you, as long as she was happy, you'd be happy too.

That's how you got yourself in your current position. Sitting across Dina in her apartment.

"So" you stared as you took a sip from the orange juice Dina gave you.

"we need to talk"

"about?"

"Ellie" "What about Ellie? Dina asked confused.

"do you have feelings for her?" you asked.

You watched as Dina burst out laughing, you watched as she threw her head back from laughing.

Anger sparked in you.

Why the fuck was she laughing? What's so fucking funny about liking Ellie?

After a while of Dina laughing, she slowed down breathing heavily before she let out a "Why would I like her? She's weird".

You felt your eye twitch before all hell broke loose.

How dare she say that about Ellie?

Your Ellie?

Ellie loved her so much and this is what Dina had to say?

This was the girl Ellie loved. She didn't deserve Ellie. If only she knew the amount of tears Ellie cried for her.

fucking bitch

You leaped from where you were sitting onto Dina, you straddled her as you punch her over and over again.

"How-"

*punch*

"dare-"

*punch*

"you"

*punch*

You don't even know how long you sat on her, and listened to her beg.

"Please" she whimpered as she tried getting you off her.

You eventually got off her breathing heavily as you looked down at your hands.

Your knuckles were bruised, and your hands covered in blood.

Dina's blood.

You looked over at her, seeing her slowly breathing. She didn't move, she didn't even make a sound.

Maybe she was unconscious.

You couldn't even recognize her with all the blood and bruises.

If Dina woke up, she would call the police. She would tell Ellie. Ellie would hate you.

You couldn't let that happen.

You slowly walked back from Dina, as you heard glass shatter. Your head snapped in the direction of the sound.

You saw pieces of glass scattered everywhere. And your orange juice was all over the floor.

Fuck you wanted to drink that.

You slowly bent down to pick up a shard of glass, and you held in your palm.

You walked towards Dina and you slowly pushed the glass into her trachea. You watched as the blood seeped from the wound.

You took a step back, leaving the glass shard in place. The blood dripped all over her throat and clothes, blood came out of her mouth.

Soon after Dina stopped breathing.

You killed her. You fucking killed someone.

You knew you made the right decision by killing Dina, because now you finally had Ellie to yourself.

And you still want it

The inner sanctity

And it's an evil

But the evil is necessary

And you're still hungry for her

And you still want her loving

But she doesn't love you

You watched as Ellie sat next to Dina's grave. She was sobbing.

Why the fuck was she crying over someone who didn't feel anything for her?

After Dina's death Ellie really struggled. She struggled to accept that the girl she loved wasn't here anymore. And what hurt Ellie the most was that Dina never knew.

Dina never knew the love Ellie had for her.

You watched Ellie spiral. You watched how she suffered.

Your plan was get rid of Dina, not the hurt the girl you loved.

Late at night when Ellie would lay in your arms you would sometimes feel regret for what you did. You didn't know it would affect Ellie the way it did, and you never wanted to hurt her. The guilt you felt soon get's replaced with pride when you realize that you got rid of the girl that was only going to hurt Ellie.

You saved Ellie. You saved her from rejection and embarrassment.

You knew she would get over it eventually.

Ellie's life wouldn't stop because her crush died. At some point she'll just have to accept it and you'll be here waiting for her with open arms.

You quietly walked towards Ellie as she sobbed next to Dina's grave, you raised your right hand putting it on her shoulder.

Ellie looked up at you, and in her eyes you could see how broken she was.

"It's ok Ellie" was all you said before she continued to sob into her hands.

You let out a sigh at the sight.

Months after Dina's death you realized that Ellie wasn't going to forget so easily.

You watched as she printed out pictures of her and Dina, and she placed it all over her apartment. You watched as she went to Dina's grave every week.

You listened to Ellie cry almost every night.

Even though you knew Dina didn't feel anything for her, Ellie still wanted her. Ellie still craved Dina.

Yes, she got affection from you, but you were never going to be enough.

All she wanted was Dina.

And you knew in the years to come Ellie wouldn't be able to move on and forget.

Even though you were there for her through everything. Even though you showed her nothing but love, the only person Ellie ever wanted was Dina.

She wanted Dina's love. Dina's care.

You were nothing but a friend. The realization made you sick.

You did everything for her.

You even killed for her.

But you'll never be Dina.

All you could was comfort her and hope, she'll one day feel the same.

[misshuntereevee]

listen to hozier and read lads fanfiction (specfically sylus)

trust me. follow me on this journey if you will. of just pointing out hozier lyrics that painfully remind me of sylus and mc. if i have any comments, it'll be in small text.

francesca -

"Do you think I'd give up? That this might've shook the love from me?"

"How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?"

"If someone asked me at the end -- I'll tell them put me back in it. Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah. If I could hold you for a minute." (don't fucking look at me, this one hurts.)

"It was too soon. When that part of you was ripped away." (again, don't look at me.)

"I would not change it each time (I would not change it each time). Heaven is not fit to house a love."

de selby part 2 -

"And your heart, love, has such darkness. I feel it in the corners of the room." (how he's always telling you to embrace your inner darkness, and take what you want)

"Before the dawn has come, I'd block the sun. If you want it done."

first time -

"Remember once I told you 'bout, how before I heard it from your mouth, my name would always hit my ears as such an awful sound." (how we literally fucking gave him a name, i'm crying)

"Some part of me must have died. The first time that you called me baby. And some part of me came alive. The first time that you called me baby."

Some part of me must have died. The final time you called me baby. But some part of me came alive. The final time you called me baby." (The reverse of this is crazy to me. Like... he did come back alive because it was a promise to come back to her. So it was the last time, but it was just a promise to come back.)

work song -

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her." (again, i'm crying)

"But I swear I thought I dreamed her. She never asked me once about the wrong I did." (you always see the good in him T.T)

"My babe would never fret none. About what my hands and my body done. If the Lord don't forgive me. I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me."

"When I was kissin' on my baby. And she put her love down soft and sweet. In the low lamp light I was free."

it will come back -

"I know who I am when I'm alone. I'm something else when I see you. You don't understand, you should never know. How easy you are to need." ( i don't have clean thoughts about this connection :/ )

"Don't let me in with no intention to keep me. Jesus Christ! Don't be kind to me. Honey don't feed me - I will come back."

"It can't be unlearned. I've known the warmth of your doorways. Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you."

i'm stopping out of self-restraint. that's hanging by a thread

[confessions-official]

today, i found myself trapped at the bottom of a very steep, very long, winding hill (dont ask why, not gonna get into it). i was like well, fuck, guess i have to climb that shit. it was the only option. my day was absolute shit and the last thing i wanted to do was hike this monstrosity of a hill (i am incredibly unathletic with zero stamina whatsoever). but i had no other choice, so i did that shit. it took frequent breaks. but i did not give up and i think thats awesome. i had to motivate myself by saying things like "i deal with worse than this every day! i deal with things so much more painful!" (immensely struggling with my ptsd rn), and whenever i would think things like that, i would speed up despite how tired i was. i would think "i have hiked literal mountains much taller than this for much longer, and in high altitude, too!" (i <3 traveling to/hiking in mountainous areas) and that would power me up.

i dont know. it just felt like in those moments, my mind and my body were two separate entities, with my mind encouraging my body to keep trucking, and my body listening to my mind. it felt very nurturing—i guess i was being very kind to myself.

in the end, i made it up the hill. do my legs hurt like hell? yes. but also, i feel like i gained a new insight of sorts.

i feel like my hillside musings can be applied to so many things in life. i find it so difficult to push myself to do hard things, but i just need a way to motivate myself. i need to tell myself about all of the harder things i have done and do every day, and how whatever Menial Task i am dreading pales in comparison. i think that this mindset can help me climb a lot of metaphorical hills, and could even help me beat an addiction of mine that i have been battling for years. when everything in my body tells me not to do something, or to do something harmful, i need to have my inner voice push through the urges and lift me up that hill... i dont know.

i think that maybe my little epiphany could help some of you guys, too. so, here it is, my confession about how i learned a lot about myself after climbing up a very difficult hill by necessity. i learned that i have a lot more stamina than i thought i did, too. my feelings of pride and satisfaction far outweigh any of the pain—i need to remember this.

 

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Script Manifestations: The Astrology Edition - Using Mars+Neptune/Scorpio Placements & The Mental Power Of Mercury

Scripting manifestation involves us to use our minds to cultivate the story of our reality we would love to see for ourselves. When we grab does pens to write in those journals about the little things we want we must gravitate to what motivates us to want more. What dreams are we going after? What does your subconscious say about your desires? What does our hearts continue racing? This is why my theory for planets mars,neptune, & mercury come in as the 3 main planetary energies to focus on when writing your scripts to change your reality. Scripting is one of the best ways to dive into the reality we wish to see for ourselves, leaving nothing to chance.. and if you had the power in your hands, why would you?

Also looking at the sign placement of scorpio will help benefit us. If you ask why scorpio, it is simply because scorpio has the ability to use the power of their tongue to magnetize things to them. Wether you have scorpio strongly in your chart filled with stelliums, your big 3 or simply connecting to a certain house, this is how you will polarize the dreams/reality you want to you.

So for people who want to know the best possible way to script using astrology, heres a few theories/observations i picked up.

Mars is the forced within us, the drive, the motivation, the energy we use to go into something head first without thinking it through. Mars is the ruler of aries, but most don't know it is also the co ruler (and the original ruler in sidereal) of scorpio.

The reason why i used mars as the first planet to work with is because mars is the physical aspect of something coming to fruition. And from what I noticed, the script manifestations that did come through i had to ACT out something. Like it couldn't of happened if i didn't do the research, didn't go out there seeking and looking for something to do, or even commit to the thing that i was working on. For example, one day i randomly wrote about the day i wanted to have out in the city, i put it in real good detail (mercury) and even imagined how it would go (neptune). One thing that stood out that day was that i randomly walked passed a store where they were playing live music, at first i felt like i didn't have enough time but then i felt this 'pull' to go in and said fuck it why not lets have some fun! I went in and saw some people in there groovin so i started groovin too! I went home later and checked out the journal and you know what was in there? I literally wrote that i would have the opportunity to just break out and dance and feel myself feeling the good spirits in the area and thats EXACTLY what happened. I didnt remember doing that and thought that was crazy how i got it but overall it was a real special day (and i put that it would be a 'special' day too!)

So with that being said you should utilize mars in your story because you have to will it into your reality by putting the effort & energy forward to get that outcome. Don't leave nothing up to chance if you don't have to.

Now we're dealing with neptune and the imaginary tales that we face when we're alone. Our inner selves mirror the reality we currently live in. Do you not like where you are? Its your job to look into the mind to see what is happening. The power of the imagination can create worlds in our current reality to bring forth the magic we need in this lifetime. So using neptune isn't the easier of the bunch when manifesting and heres why: the imagination doesn't always bring us to the destination. It dissolves the cloudiness that was in the way of us remembering exactly what we want to do. Neptune is the creative force, but with mars it can be willed into reality by simply listening to the higher heart. Everything doesn't always make sense, but the intuitive side of neptune flows and presents us with possibilities for the imagination to show forth its creativity in many ways. Neptune dissolves the means of taking things too serious, so with scripting being in 'delusion' (and i say this lightly) helps with mars walking into the door of unknown territory. Focusing on the higher self and its wants brings longer satisfaction in the souls drive for the human experience to be what it wants and not what YOU and the ego/conscious prefers. In order for things to flow smoothly, we must first meditate (neptune) on what we want, let the mind follow up with the details & description of something (mercury) and then awakening into that idea/plan and going for it with no remorse (mars). Allow your brain to sore into your consciousness to see all the ideas and different places you can go to in your mind, because practicality never wins with neptune. Ever.

Now neptune and mars together brings things to a grounded level. Mars is only doing what the mind wants, so the conscious side of our brains moves to the assertion of what we need or want at that moment. Anything is possible, which is why mars is important in scripting. Once the idea is already plastered on a sheet of paper, we can now admit that we must lead to where the idea paints us to be in. And no matter what obstacles seem to be in the way, it will not stop you from making sure the idea pans out the way it is suppose to. No matter how much we have in store, mars and neptune never care to be prepared... somehow this where mercury comes in.

Mercury is the prepared and unprepared energy of the two. It is the trickster that uses its mind to get what it wants and a lot of times is quick on their toes. Mercury is the descriptive story teller and needs to write out its ideas in order to see the plan come into fruition. Mercury doesnt like doing everything without a blue print, this is the more 'practical' energy of the bunch. Connected to both gemini and virgo, mercury is strong with its power of the mind, the voice, and the brain. So when we're scripting our manifestations, we must ponder on the idea before we go in tooth n' nail. Mercury thrives off the detail of a story, and again, you are the creator of your story.

Now adding all three planets together, we have mars the force in getting the idea to come into fruition. We have neptune, the one that starts it off with the imagination, & our friend mercury who is the planner and the one who pays attention to detail. With scripting all of these are a must and the feeling you get when writing them down also counts for something. Aspects & house placements are important in this too. If you have any random placements like neptune-sun, or mars-venus, mercury-jupiter this detail is wonderful because neptune/sun should focus on the self expression of the imagination. Mars/venus expresses itself through what you have a divine love/passion for, & mercury/jupiter should focus on the optimism and what it believes to be true. Hope this helps as i will present more on the aspects/signs/and house later on.

Now I added scorpio because scorpio is the witch of the zodiac. Its the one that uses its tongue to will what it wants. It can create spells out of the power of its mind and is useful when scripting our realities the way we see fit.

I'd say it's the perfect energy when writing down a clause for the end of our script. It's the spell that magnetizes the fruits we wish to bare. So I say whatever placements you have with scorpio is helpful with script manifestation. For example lets say you have scorpio in the 5th house, this is the house of childlike expression, romance, and talents. So each script you make you can focus on love, sensuality and what ever you are extremely passionate about because THIS will magnetize itself into your reality much faster than anything else. Same for any other house. Scorpio is what we are most passionate about so focusing on the house its in is important. If there is a particular placement in scorpio this can work as well however my focus was more onto the house cause I believe this is fine little detail in script magic. Hope this helps! Part II on this soon!

Ask me questions on how you feel about your placements when working with script magic!

I will be doing a second part of this focusing a small detail on neptune/mercury/mars in the houses & sign. Thank you for listening <3 cheers!

[avisperocustom]

On spirals

Babe, we're having a human experience. We're part of god, we're limitless consciousness, but we're also inhabiting a body.

I got triggered yesterday. I mentioned my sps, the 3d responded badly..Or so I thought.

Oh boy. If you're in the same boat as me, this is for you and for me.

So, you got triggered. You got bad thoughts...Now what?

NOW YOU PERSIST, BAYBEEE! THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE!

See, when you get triggered it's you falling from one state of reality to a more unfavorable, and perhaps familiar, one. I know the state I fell to very well, it's low and it's full of anxiety. Horrible, sticky anxiety that fills my lungs and makes my heart beat way too fast. Boo, horrible, nobody likes it. My 3d reflected my fears and my assumptions. Babe, the 3d is nothing but a collection of your thoughts and feelings. I mentioned Teddy to my friend, whom I had built the assumption about that she hates him. What did I get? Exactly that.

SO. You know you fell into a bad icky state, how to get back to the better, more favorable state? I'm getting to that honey

FIRST AND FOREMOST,

Fulfill your basic needs: Hunger, Hygiene, Release, Sleep.

Try to sleep it off. It could be your mortal body that's screaming for help.

"[Redacted], it didn't help, I'm still triggered, I can't do this, manifestation isn't real, i'm crazy delusional and sp doesn't love me" It exists, we all have been through this honey, the feeling is normal, you WILL feel crazy and delulu at some point, it's completely natural, even more when you're going through this journey alone, but I assure you manifestation is real.

IF SLEEPING IT OFF DIDN'T WORK, IT'S BEEN MULTIPLE HOURS OR EVEN A DAY,

STEPS TO RESCUE YOURSELF OUT OF A SPIRAL:

1- Check your self concept:

WHAT, is being said by the unfavorable state? What are you thinking right now? In my particular state, it was a complete victim state. "Why does my sp hurt me, what did I do" (Babe I manifested my own hurt in that one reality lmao the fuck you mean "what did you do") "I'm so hated, abandoned and unwanted" "I'm not chosen" "I'm pathetic and forgotten"

2- Ground yourself:

Remember who the fuck you are. WHO ARE YOU? You're that bitch. You're limitless consciousness, and whatever you say in your reality is what goes. Babe you're, literally, a god. You're all powerful and all capable. You're wanted, you're loved, you're admired and you are capable of ANYTHING you desire. You're desired, you're absolutely gorgeous, chosen, pursued, sought after because you're so fucking rare and amazing. YOU, ARE LOVED. YOU, ARE THE SOURCE OF EVERYTHING HAPPENING AROUND YOU, LIFE HAPPENS THROUGH YOU, AND NOT TO YOU. IT'S YOUR INNER MAN THE ONE TELLING YOU, "LISTEN TO ME, I AM GOD, I CREATE FROM CLAY MY OWN REALITY."

3- Release that energy:

Baby it's time to get that anxiety physically off of you. Move around, dance, work out, shake yourself out of it. Rant to yourself how amazing you are. If you need to meditate? Do so. Listen to music. Listen to a subliminal, that shit doubles as affirmations being hammered into your brain and if the music is hype as a way to get that icky feeling outta you. Go walk your dog. Ground yourself on grass. Get straight in the ocean, or jump inside a pool. Anything. But get that shit out of your body. My only tip here is to not consume anything that isn't positive, manifestation content. Do not trigger yourself further. No sad songs, no "waaaa poor me" shit. REMEMBER WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE.

4- Persist, persist, PERSIST:

Remember that the 3d is fake. All of this is subject to change, from one second to the next. You didn't ruin your manifestation, nor even delayed it because you had a human day. You're a god living a human experience, training to be a higher being one day when your body is, at its right time and without intervention, gone. You're allowed to have flaws. You're allowed to have a bad day. You can talk about your fridge disappearing all you want, but if you KNOW you have a fridge, it'll still be there in the kitchen where it belongs. KNOW, that your manifestation is happening. No matter what you see, remember that from the first time you put your foot down and affirmed for your manifestation, it's already done. Nothing to seek, nothing to change, nothing to wait for. It's done, it happened. You revised successfully, and changed realities.

Moved back to the wrong reality? Boo, all you did was take the wrong bus. Just get your bus pass and go back to the neighborhood you should be at, silly. Your sp loves you, you have the money, your past is exactly what you want it to be, you're healthy, you'll be fine

Affirm. Or visualize, or script. Or idk float around somewhere. Whichever technique you use, remind yourself of what you have.

You'll be fine. I'll be fine. We'll be fine together.

And let me tell you.

I was spiraling so hard yesterday, I didn't even register I had solid, clear movement. More than once, I had clear movement. And I was so blind to it, swallowed up by my worries and pulling my hair and thinking oh god, I'll lose it all, that I didn't even notice.

My revision didn't go well, it went perfectly.

[wa3v3y]

Let’s talk about my first theory of relativity experience!

In the production I saw everyone was wearing white. Different clothes but it was all white and barefoot. It was really beautiful and I loved the look of it!

The opening number was amazing. The music was just perfectly written and performed.

The first song being I’m allergic to cats was so silly. It gave Leaf Coneybear Vibes to me except in another universe because Leaf loved cats. It’s a very silly time and the actor was fantastic.

Pi pt. 1: Watching this character come out for this the first time was amazing. I relate to them so much he’s so silly. I sit there and memorize pi because I’m scared of asking people out? Yes.

The end of the line: This is one of the two songs that I’ve heard before driving to this show and I loved the section I heard originally, but seeing the whole song performed live was beautiful. The story is just so investing and I love it.

Great expectations: this song is fabulous. The staging was amazing with the boards on stage. I really enjoyed it and it was so powerful. This song is just perfection.

Relativity (Reprise 1): brining the show back to the title was great. This song hit so hard after great expectations.

Footprint: This song was amazing. The way that the song and the actor told this story was perfection. The dog and then the sister and then the PARENTS. This song just hit so close to me for some reason. Perfection.

Pi pt. 2: I was so happy when this silly little guy came out again. He is perfection to be protected at ALL COSTS. I want to hug him.

Lipstick: This song was so cute. Her talking about hating the shade was so funny and him calculating how to graze her hand. Perfect rom com meet cute.

Apples and oranges: this song was so fucking goofy. I loved it so much and when Ryan (footprint guy) came as the guy that liked oranges. I was giggling and kicking my feet.

Me and Ricky: this song is amazing and executed perfectly. When she smeared the red lipstick on her white shirt it was just OMFG. When I first listened to this song in the car I was thinking of RTC Ricky which was funny. Like oh what if she’s Penny and he’s Ricky. I do have a question: did she kill him? TT

Promise me this: First, how is Erika e v e r y w h e r e. But this song hit so hard and I almost started completely sobbing. The way they staged it with her descriptions being shadows on the cyc *chefs kiss*

Julie’s song: I was sitting there at first being like “wait are these the fucking cats” but it was so cute and both of the characters are PERFECT

Pi pt. 3/Relativity (Reprise 2): I loved all the pi parts but watching him literally crawl out. This song made me so happy when he finally said he’d go and talk to her.

Relative pitch: for some reason I can’t remember this very well. The harmonies are beautiful though.

You will never know: This song with the lipstick people was even better to me. There was so much for me to walk and when they went backwards and then forwards. I loved it.

Person A reprise: bringing this back after seeing the whole story was the best fucking thing. No words just happiness.

Nothing without you: this song made me so sad and gave me such a boost I actually just wanted to curl up and cry for twenty minutes.

Cake monologues: these monologues being sprinkled in were GENIUS. I loved all of these monologues. And when her and pi kid got together I had the best time of my life. I’m literally him.

Nail monologue: this monologue was so long. Like respect for memorizing it. All the stories intertwining made me so fucking happy.

This show was with live accompaniment which was great and it also had a ton of awesome lifts. Perfection.

This show was AMAZING. After I thought “that show was so fucking good there’s no way I can like ride the cyclone more right” spoiler: I was wrong… very wrong. The music was amazing. The cast was amazing. Everything was amazing.

Thank you inner voice! And thank you for reading all of this TT

[knightsteapot]

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ CHIMERAS BEFORE FEELINGS

Chapter I | Chapter II

Jason Tood x Latina!reader

Action | fluff

Minors DNI, cursing, sexual references

Author's notes: This is the first chapter of the story I've been trying to write for so long! Check the info before reading to have some context 💕

Thank you for reading, no matter if you're a latina or not, just enjoy it 🔥

Here some things I want to share:

Wanna listen to the song Bizarro was signing? Here

Wanna listen to the whole sinful playlist? Here

Wanna see some art of the suit, wig, gadgets and Admena, your inner goddess? Here

Feel free to imagine the suit in the size your want, the same with the skin color. The illustration is only a visual.

You had to admit that the life of a vigilante was exciting. Everyone talks about the risks, how it can destroy your life quite literally, but what about the other side of the coin? Being a vigilante, a hero or anti-hero was indeed cool, however, few people was selfish enough to accept it. If being a vigilante boosted your battle lust, being magical, belonging to the Justice League Dark (from time to time because apparently they couldn't trust an anti-hero like you) was out of this world.

Probably, after being experimented on, your brain decided that you needed power to feel safe, you were aware but in denial because... power itself wasn't bad, despite the horrible things you did in the past (which weren't never your fault, you were just a mere little stupid puppet without will) you had a good moral compass. You'd take yourself to the extreme if that meant doing the right thing, not the politically correct thing, no, just what was needed to be done. That's why you liked it to work with this group of weirdos, exterminating magical threats under your own rules or sometimes Constantine's rules, which were... not rules but a "Do your shit right and don't get us killed"

Your current situation was no different from other situations, yes, probably using Admena's full power wasn't a good idea, her divine aura needed your vital energy to manifest but, fuck it, the job must be done, isn't it? Those words made you smile in the middle of an epic fight against a chimera, suddenly remembering your other team, the misfits you respected, protected and wished all the happiness in the world: the outlaws. You'd be lying if you say you don't have a favorite, but thinking about him just destabilize your mind, energy and dramatic heart, Jason Peter Todd was invading your mind again and meanwhile you were sealing the monster with Admena's aura, you couldn't help but wish your longing was everything but love.

With a deep long sigh you let your body rest against the rotten wood of the church, closed your eyes and tried to recover your energy, Admena even took part of your technology's energy, how ridiculous, you had to become stronger to have full mastery of your power, your mind and yes, again, your dramatic heart.

Artemis, that amazon was a fine piece of art. You probably had one or two wet dreams about her, nothing to be embarrassed of because no one would never know, but jokes aside, you looked up to her, she was strong, determined, a bit brazen but that was part of her charm. Inside the team you had a good dynamic and synergy, you weren't best friends, that was Kath's place but as coworkers you usually complemented eachother.

Once Kath and Constantine arrived the three of you contacted Batman to give a report, the case was still open after all. In the meantime you checked your phone again, Artemis wasn't exactly fond of social media so it was uncommon of her to text you, still sharing pictures or funny things could happen, why not?

With the anxiety in its peak you opened Jason's chat. You weren't really sure what was the problem until you realised something, Bizarro, sweet big Bizarro was using your Spotify account and despite having a bunch of playlists you had one, one with your deepest dirtiest thoughts... Hopefully Bizarro didn't expose you but the situation was pointing in that direction.

You bit your lip with your face contorted into a mix of worry, anxiety and fear, but when you were about to engage in the conversation and put an end to your suffering despite the consequences Constantine opened a portal and you three had to go. The energy was taking time to return to your body, so you stayed at the House of Mystery's gothic and beautiful sofa feeling like a very anxious and tired jelly.

You freezed and then acted in the most immature way. Your body sank into the sofa as your eyes focused on the chimney, angry fire burning and dim light illuminating the dark room, your body and some relics that John kept inside the house here and there. You took off your black gloves hiding your face behind your shaking hands ignoring your phone after evading a bullet Jason shot or that, actually, you shot to yourself. Silence was so noisy.

No matter how warm the living room was, you felt cold and so disappointed, who was James? Who? the only James you knew was the lilac haired guy from Pokémon and still you imagined a whole relationship with a non-existent person, great! Being honest shouldn't be so hard but fear, fear was so strong. Your life was a mess, one that you were trying to hold onto hard but that was crumbling little by little.

Jason wasn't reacting any better. At the beginning the scenario was funny, Bizarro was enjoying himself, then the situation made Jason feel a sparkle of excitement, he couldn't wait to tease the hell out of you and see what would happen, no one ever had created such unholy playlist for someone they wanted as friend. The moment he noticed his thoughts going too far from him, he stopped in his tracks and texted you.

Artemis saw the scene develop in front of her eyes, but once Jason ended up completely dumbfounded she knew something was wrong. Jason placed his phone aside and got ready to take a cold shower, damn expectations. Your relationship rested in a comfortable yet unhealthy uncertainty and neither you or Jason were brave enough to do something about it.

Who the fuck was that James?

[two-red-lungs]

Could you write reader finding out food tlb liked from when they were human/their childhood and making it for them as a gift?

I know you wanted a fic but I have so so many thoughts about each of the boys that I'm gonna collect them all in this post!

The Lost Boys: Their Favorite Old-World Foods

Marko:

The little Italian stallion <3333

I HC him as growing up in inner Florence, Italy, during the artistic revolution. He was fairly elite/in high demand as a model

Basically, a brat with an ego

Still despite rubbing shoulders with the greats, he loved to come home to his family’s little city house and eat his mamma’s cooking

I think Marko’s favorite ‘old world’ dish is Garmugia: a simple springtime soup with cured pancetta, lima beans, scallions, and all sorts of other green veggies

It’s not fancy or especially delicious at all. But I think the smell, the taste, would make him freeze up, flooded with memories

and maybe for a second he’d stop being a feral, combative, snapping undead animal, and you’d catch a glimpse of the athletic young human from centuries ago

Dwayne: 

My personal HC for Dwayne is he got put in a residential school for native Americans at a young age, basically ripped away from his family

He probably escaped, hightailing it out at around 16, and then survived alone on the streets of early 1800s colonizer cities with the rest of the dredges of society 

(Which to me gives him a very strong “I fucking hate capitalism I truly hate this country and deep down I do genuinely want to see this broken system burnt to the ground, also FUCK cops” mentality)

I think Dwayne’s most memorable old-world food would be Gingerbread. Not the gingerbread we know: a soft, cake-like bread flavored with molasses, ground ginger, and cinnamon. Very dark and not very sweet

He worked odd (and illegal) jobs to stay alive and when winter rolled around street vendors would sell big hot slices of the stuff

Bringing him some real, legit circa-1810-gingerbread would probably make him remember the far-distant, little moments of actual joy he had in his human life

AND you’d probably be able to convince him to actually talk about his past for once

Paul:

Country boyyyy, I love youuuu

In my mind Paul is rural midwest, late 1800s when the industrial revolution was really kickin’ off and the cities were poppin (with drugs and alcohol lmao)

He was probably raised on a farm & did farmwork most of the time. Picture him in a low ponytail and work duds, pitching hay. That was probably for the best because that dude 100% has dyslexia and a math learning disability

But oooooh he was prettyyyyy and he knew it: I think Paul eventually ran away from his family’s farm and basically became a partyboy in a big city, like New York, and was changed there

I think Paul’s favorite old-world food is (brace for the cliche) Apple Pie!

Probably a rare treat his momma and sisters would cook up in the autumn and winter: smelling a good, home-style pie now makes him think of barefoot evening sitting on the farmyard porch, listening to cicadas

Unrelated, but I think Paul- that’s right, partyboy druggie bonerboy Paulie- still remembers how to tie a hog

David:

I have conflicting thoughts abt this motherfucker

His backstory HC for me is still a little elusive, but I have some basic details for him

He comes from a pretty fucked-up biological family (probably a crazy-abusive dad and absent mother), was 100% drafted in a war at some point (I suspect the civil war), and 100% deserted his station in that war. Out of cowardice, fear, or distain, I don’t know. 

I don’t think David really has a favorite food?? He’ll eat plain rice. Plain, oily noodles. Hard-tack biscuits. Literally anything like whatever it’s not his personal thing

David like drinking and smoking. I think David’s favorite old-world vice is Irish Whiskey. Again, not the drink we think of. A lot less refined, very rough and coarse: it was the most popular and easily-accessible spirit in the 1860s 

I think it reminds him of ‘simpler times’: just him, alone, human, in a dingy old bar, getting the cheapest drink he can get, ducking his head to avoid being seen by military officials and wondering where he can run away to next

Give him a straight shot of Irish whiskey in an old-style enameled bar glass and it’s one of the only times he won’t be full-on Mansplain Manipulate Manwh0re: he’ll probably sit on a beachside bench with you, drinking in silence, watching the waves crashing far away. Lost in thought. Looking as old as he really is.

[teatitty]

Listen look I know it's 1am for me right now but I've been sitting on new Turas Realta for AGES waiting to get into how good the dialogue is in this chapter with Fionn and Diarmuid so! Under the cut as usual

Besties who are annoying together stay together <3

This is absolutely meant to be a dig at Diarmuid's incorrect reputation as a lover of many women [factually untrue lmao] but it's also not entirely wrong if you consider the love being referred to here as his love for Fionn and humanity as a whole. Also it's just very funny that this is Fionn's way of gassing his boy up

If you don't love Fionn being a menace you're WRONG and this look tells me that his jabs about Diarmuid's love being stronger than Rama's for his own wife was 100% intentional

I need FGO to give me payment because I've been saying this on my blog for literal years before this manga even started where are my credits

Unfortunately the same praises can't be given to Diarmuid's dissection, because they start off really good by acknowledging he was a victim and then immediately go "oh but he respected Grainne and despite their love starting because of a curse he fell for her anyway uwu" shut the fuck up you can't have it both ways

This part is almost directly taken from one of the Pursuit translations, except that translation was way more uhhh homoerotic, being that it was "his heart torn in two" without any further distinctions, implying he held more than just platonic feelings for Fionn. So they changed it here to get rid of the gay implications :/

BUT THIS PART IS GOOD BECAUSE YEAH FINALLY A PIECE OF FATE MEDIA THAT ACTUALLY RECOGNISES HOW CLOSE THEY WERE AND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO EACHOTHER

The first part is Fionn's inner thoughts and the second is Mash's! The boys are having fun

I still dislike how often they have Diarmuid say "my king" in this because he never fucking did that, Fionn was just Fionn to all of the Fianna, but seeing them having this much fun is good civ

And confirmation that most of this was them just fucking around for funsies

LETS GO BOYS THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE

Don't even get me fucking started on the emotions this look Fionn gives at Diarmuid's above statement I am FINE

I wish you were allowed to be super Overpowered and wipe the floor with everyone but alas you were made the antag which is still bullshit to me but whatever

He unleashes Mac an Luinn here and even in his weakened state and his Lancer class [remember that Mac an Luinn is his sword not his spear] it's still Very Fucking Strong

Diarmuid takes Rama's vishnu attack like a champion here

WHICH LEADS TO THE BEST FIONN EXPRESSION IN THE WHOLE MANGA EVEN IN THE RAWS YOU UNDERSTOOD THIS WAS HIM GETTING ANGRY AT DIARMUID'S WOUNDS

Ignoring the whole "Mash doesn't get why fighting is so honourable and important to these people" thing [I've already said my thoughts on that] this is just good Fionn panels

And Fionn's reaction to Mash's shield going up full force being a simple "I couldn't reach them" is great because he isn't even mad about it so much as he's speaking about being unable to keep his promise to Diarmuid. In the very next panel he describes Mash's phantasm as "incredibly beautiful"

My biggest issue with this manga was them setting up Fionn and Diarmuid as killing innocents and I'm so glad they didn't go that route and instead went with Fionn using his own magic to reinforce protections meaning he's not even at full magic strength during any of this fight because he's been keeping those shields up the whole time

"Let us speak vows to eachother" I've written FionnDiar fics I know these gay ass rituals by heart don't test me

[niightniines]

1. Love

2. rem 💕

3. 10 seconds flat

4. Misa Amane would do wonders in NANA

5. "actually I'm depressed"

6. op1

7. the second kira (I'm biased)

8. Naomi Misora's death had the perfect atmosphere and setup. wish she was around longer :(

9. Nine While Nine (sisters of mercy) fits Misa lyrically, but her vibe is more like Sweetest Chill (siouxie and the banshees)

10. I think all of them would find me insufferable

11. soichiro's death felt so anticlimactic paired with lights exaggerated acting and inner monologues I just couldn't take it seriously knowing the person he cared about most in that moment couldn't give less of a shit about the man if he didn't know mello's name

12. the nezz edit

https://www.tumblr.com/nezz-cringe-crib/747440840126889984/the-distance-death-note-edit?source=share

13. Lawlight and Remisa

14. my friends call me the Lawmane lovechild

15. Misa I'm a diehard kin

16. (from the musical) "if this body is to turn to sand and vanish, who cares about that? everything that I can possibly do, I'll give her." -Rem

17. how the fuck did L and Light go about their daily lives in the yotsuba arc? I wish we got a filler episode of their chained together misadventures.

18. id still opt for classic black but I will put my own sparkly stickers on it

19. my leather trench coat and whatever black frills I decide to put on underneath that

20. sour cream and cheddar

21. my Remisa Frankenstein au! I remember watching that movie for the first time and thinking "this is literally just remisa if it was hetero and in 80s suburbia"

22. despite what ohba says L did truly think of light as a friend. at least subconsciously.

23. "just because your genius deduction was wrong" he sounds so pressed and petty lmao

24. Misa obvs

25. when I started listening to the musical on loop

26. when Misa gives up her ownership of the deathnote for the second time. the shit of her in the apartment staring into space with dead eyes as the canary screeches inside its cage and light narrates that she's "just a normal woman"

27. ☝️🤓📓✍️💀☝️🤓🦅🦅🦅🎀💕🎾🌈📓✍️💀🔥🔥🔥🔔🔔🔔☝️💀☝️🧒☝️🧒☝️🧒💀💀☝️🧒🔥📓💀

28. the one where rem is flying around with Misa in her arms like her own personal chauffer

29. death note the musical

30. REM 🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Favorite chapter/episode?

If you had a Death Note, what would you want your Shinigami to look like?

How long do you think you could get away with hiding a Death Note?

If your favorite character weren’t in Death Note, what anime/manga do you think they would thrive in?

A scene that makes you laugh.

Which is your favorite opening?

Your favorite kira?

The death that affected you the most.

What song(s) fit the vibe of your favorite character?

A character you would hang out with irl.

What moment surprised you the most?

What is a fanwork (edit, fic, art, etc.) that you still think about to this day? (Pls link to the original!)

Favorite ships?

What character do you think you look the most like?

Which character’s personality do you relate to?

A line from the series that stuck with you.

A question that was never answered, but you wonder about all the time.

If Death Notes came in different colors, what color would yours to be?

What would be your staple kira catching outfit?

Favorite potato chip flavor?

A Death Note fanwork that you’ve made and are proud of.

A favorite Death Note theory.

Your favorite interaction.

Who do you think had the best style?

At what point did you fall in love with Death Note?

Saddest moment for your favorite character.

Lay out the plot of Death Note using only emojis.

Favorite official art.

Favorite Death Note Spin off media.

A character that needs to be mentioned more.  

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

rubbing rough things until smooth

my oldest and I are not connecting like we used to

my youngest and I are also having issues

it's me it's totally me hi I'm the problem it's me

but I guess I can tell them a story about it

it's awkward and rough but it's true

and tonight my oldest and I drove for a bit

and I tried to explain how I feel so different

how I'm kind of dead because I'm being sued for divorce

I'm melinoe and somewhere between legally dead

and dying before the legal system gives me

a new name I got to choose and I told him the name

and he said it was great and I was so pleased

because right before that he asked quite rudely

if I was going to be naming myself something dumb

and it wasn't even in a joking tone

but my sense of humor has been wounded

so I've been extra sensitive and told him

a few too many times he won't be talking to me

like he's watched the men in his life talk to me

and he's sick of being compared to guys

that he hasn't had a chance to grow into

so I told him that when I was eleven

I hadn't known much kindness from men

and maybe it would help him to know

that when I get to those places

those emotional flashbacks

where it feels like I've been thrown suddenly

into the past with all the emotions

but I'm still somehow here

when I'm crying and I'm fighting

what I feel like is the world

I might just be my inner eleven year old

in that moment and she had a really really

different life than he did and this divorce

and all these changes have me spinning sometimes

and I told him I know sometimes he and I start

spinning each other like we're on a merry go wrong

he goes unregulated and then I go down to meet him

and we're both crying and screaming at each other

staring into the same blue eyes

and it's fucking awful and the last thing

either of us want to do is hurt each other

but we do and we do and we do

and as long as we can meet here again

in the calm and remember each other

and say sorry and try to explain to each other

and try to listen and understand

because when we are spinning we are just

two thunder storms throwing lightning

at each other and clouds aren't immune

to lightning no matter what it still hurts

I told him I was becoming a new person

to a new family with a literal new name

and a new job and a new life and I'm good

at making changes but this situation

kind of has me in some of the worst places

I've felt like I've ever been

and also since my inner eleven year old

and his eleven year old self are so different

and have such drastically different lives

maybe he could teach me what he likes

how I can comfort him and what he needs

from me to feel loved and I've never had

a kid as big as him so I may suck at this

especially right now when it feels like

sometimes I don't exist

because all these old parts of me

really don't anymore

and fuck there is not directions

but here's the thing

I'd never read them anyway so...

but I'll learn as quick and fast as I can

if he could just tell me and we could just talk

and I don't feel as bad even though

nothing I said was perfect or even linear really

he told me thank you and asked if

we could watch young sheldon

which was one of the shows

me and those babies all watched

together before things got twisted and

I had to fall apart and recalibrate or something

connection connection connection

that's the theme today, right?

sometimes I guess it repairs itself

even in a situation where you just

awkwardly throw words at each other

and choose to believe them

if you listen with your heart