#HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM i yell at a character i made in a situation i put them in

[nellandvoid]

some silly sketches of silvia and stan from several points on their life! alliteration goes crazy

stan and silvia are divorced, but they are besties by the time the twins come to town and maybe there’s some unresolved feelings between them but who’s to say?

the two pics on the right are the first and latest time silvia helped stan with an injury, which was mainly just anatomy and expression practice

i’m falling in love with them more and more and they are burrowing further into my brain but i’m not complaining

feel free to ask questions about her please i wanna talk about her so bad!!!

[marstons-angel]

WHAT SET YOU FREE, BROUGHT YOU TO ME BABY.

rdr2 men + short blurbs about their favorite sex positions.

ft. arthur morgan, john marston, javier escuella, and charles smith.

✧ tags : SPOILER HEAVY, fem + afab!reader, unprotected sex, light angst (in the horny post is crazy im sorry fdkjjkds), very gendered language, javier says one thing in spanish (thank u @nanamimizz), a little sprinkle of plot with each (and some canon divergency), john co-parents w abigail, otherwise just horny. 18+

✧ wc : about 1.4-8k each (6.3k total)

✧ a/n : sorry for making a multi character post for the cowboy game its cooking me to death. my john bias is showing rip. title is from rebel yell by billy idol but i listen to the bvb cover

sorry about charles and javiers but if i edit this anymore im going to level an entire city using hollow purple technique. please rb if you enjoyed i worked kind of hard on whatever this is.

sorry for . the THIRD repost of this i promise i wont after this. its just really bugging me. PLEASE

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆ ARTHUR MORGAN + PRONE BONE ; 

It’s an odd feelin’ for Arthur. 

Wanting something, he means. Wanting anything as much as he wants you. He’s lived a less than quiet life up until now. And he ain’t the brightest, certainly, but living this kind of life teaches you many lessons. One of them being, it’s better not to covet anything. Coveting something you’re not entitled to, well—it’ll lead you places you wouldn’t want to go with a gun. 

Arthur has made the mistake of coveting love before, dreamed of a future so completely out of his reach he almost convinced himself it was possible. Dreamed of it so foolishly he’d even go visit a woman he very well ought to forget. It’s his problem, his burden to bear - always desiring outcomes unsuited to him. 

He’s just that sort of man he reckons. But he learned his lesson. He tries (tried?) to stay away from it after that. Tried not to pine too much for normalcy when such hopes had failed him twice. The loss of his child completely on his account and the loss of his love at the same fate. 

So, wanting you - well, he feels like the world's dullest fool. Really. How is it that Arthur had fallen in love with someone again? It had all just happened so quickly. You were another woman he’d saved from the O’Driscolls, though it wasn’t like you were no damsel. A lot of those men were dead by the time they arrived. That sort of perseverance would stick with you while you traveled together. Much like Sadie, you didn’t take well to housework - you liked to earn your keep. Though you’re not nearly so trigger happy. 

You’re quiet, thoughtful, well-read. Plus you’re good at making money. That’s why Dutch don't complain about you joining them, he figures. 

(Arthur tries not to pry into it too much at first, but he eventually learns that you’re gambling. Which is how you’re able to make such a fast turn around. A prim little lady like you makes for a fine poker player, and you love to play men out of their money. He thinks it’s one of the funniest and most interesting things about you. He can’t help but love you a little more for it. )

When the feelings in him start to stir, Arthur tries to overlook it. Arthur convinces himself, time and time again - that there’s no way he’ll grow more tender about you. Eventually, it’ll die down. You’re a decent woman is all, a kind one - who’s easy for him to love and even easier for him to confide in. In your time together, you often come to Arthur and you always seem to have some profound wisdom he is so sorely lacking. Someone easy to love, who does not expect much from Arthur at all. It’s only natural a lonely, covetous man like him would start to dream about you. He tells himself, it will pass eventually. Should he simply let it run by him, it will pass. But Arthurs a fool, you’ll remember. 

 Of course, by the time he understood all that - he already loved you enough that he couldn’t bear it. It was already too late and it wasn’t going to change any time soon. Especially not while everything changed around him. 

So, Arthur is undoubtedly a fool, but he’s lucky. He felt divinely blessed when you’d returned his feelings for him so politely. A coy little smile on your face, a laugh like you thought he was silly for being doubtful. Arthur tried to explain himself but you wouldn’t hear a word of it. Maybe that’s another thing he loves so much about you. There’s nothing he ever needs to explain. 

In any case, all Arthur seems to do lately is want you. Wants you when it’s inconvenient. Wants you before he wants liquor or a cigarette or some other vice. Any time anything goes wrong, you’re the first thing his mind can conjure up for relief. That pretty smile and that self-assured way of living. It’s hard to get time alone in camp. And Arthur is a man in love, so any touch could be enough to set him on fire. Last week you hugged his waist a little before giving him a kiss goodbye and he had to listen to you laugh yourself into a fit as he waited for…little Arthur to settle down. 

He don’t get many chances to be with you. Lay with you in that way that grown folk in love do. Though, if the two of you book it somewhere for a few days - the camp knows better not to ask where you’ve been. But it’s not often you get to really be together, where it’s peaceful to do that. Someone’s always hounding one of you to do something. 

Arthur is a lucky man though, like he said. Today he had time. Today he’s alone with you in a beat up little saloon and today he gets to do as he likes. He gets to be greedy. And it’s an odd feeling for him, really, to want something so bad he disregards everything else in the world for a little while. 

Feeling you, though - absolves the guilt for wanting. He’d be stupid to want you any less desperately. 

Arthur’s favorite way to have you is on your stomach. Laid flat, just barely pushed up against him as he fucks you deep. You’ll fuck like rabbits for a little while and Arthur will wear you out just like this, maneuvering you until you’re pinned all underneath his weight. You lose any fight you might have, too exhausted to worry yourself with pleasing him - and when you’re like that, you let Arthur take care of you. 

(He really ain’t talented at much, but he’s good with his hands. Being dexterous is part of being a talented shot. When Arthur has the time to spread you sweet in his lap and make you cum all over his fingers, he does so for as long as he can. At least until you beg him so sweetly otherwise. The same hands, soiled with gunsmoke, look so good so deep in you. At least in his eyes.)

Wet and pliable and helpless. Arthur loves you like that. He knows, he knows you’re anything but - but he’d be damned to pretend this don’t feel best. Tight, wet cunt so welcoming from all the pleasure he’s ripped out of you. Your bodies pressed together, your heartbeat pulsing through your skin. All sticky, honeyed need and animal desire as Arthur lets all of him sink on top of you. His heavy, lumbering form crushing you in - trapping you somewhere you can’t run from him. The curve of your spine pushed against his chest, ticklish. 

Every inch of his body that so wholly wants for you, Arthur aches to make you feel. Burn it in you lest anything happens that risks your forgetting. 

He can feel his hips meet your ass, backside squished against him - desperate for deeper friction. Whining. You’re whining to him so pretty, a pillow pushed underneath you to give friction to needy clit. 

Arthur can feel how much you want more. Maybe Arthur is greedy, but he likes that look much better on you. Your pussy is sucking him in so tight, silken walls pulsing with every shallow little measured thrust. Arthur lets his arm wrap around your neck, your face pressing into his bicep. You moan again and he laughs. 

“Arthur,” Your words come out in a messy slur. He lets his scruffy face press against your neck, a kiss behind your ear. He wants to kiss you all over. There’s not enough hours in the day. “Oh, god, Arthur,” 

“Still feels good, then, I’m guessin’,” 

“Shut up,” You huff and press your cheek into his arm. He doesn’t bother stifling his laugh. “Still feels…big. Stretchin’ me out—hicc—so much,” 

You really don’t try to rile him up - but you do a damn good job of it anyway. He groans, grunts as he pulls back and pistons himself in you. A gesture half-way between a kiss and the warning shot of a gun. The sound of skin hitting skin echoes, noisy and vulgar. Arthur don’t pay it much mind. He laughs against your shoulder.

“One of these days, that moutha’ yours is gonna get me in real trouble.” 

You giggle back at him 

“What kinda trouble is that now?” 

Even from your side glance, you’ve got that lovely little smile on you. Fuckdrunk and ingratiating, like you know he’s wrapped so tight around your fingers. And he is, like nothing else in the world could have him. A wave of possession curls up over Arthur, makes him press more of himself into you. Onto you. Another deep push of his cock, sliding against the tenderest parts of you. Staking some silent desire in you. He wants and wants and wants, and hopes that whatevers above him can forgive him for making the same mistake thrice. 

“Dunno,” Arthur comments, teeth grazing your shoulder and kissing the indentations “Got our whole lives together to find out, I reckon.” 

“I’ll hold you to it, Mister.” 

Arthur laughs. “Hope you do, Miss.” 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆ JOHN MARSTON + COWGIRL ;

John doesn’t say that he loves you lightly. 

Hardly a thing he says can be said that way. Could never afford too. In an alternate universe where nothing goes wrong in his life, maybe - but he has a hard time picturing what the hell that’d look like. A version of himself so untainted, without all of the violence and blood and gunsmoke? Foreign. John can’t picture it worth a damn. 

Who John is without a deadbeat father and a dead Ma is somewhere far beyond his reach. Ain’t nothing about his life, at any point, lighthearted. 

On top of all that mess, he’s got a boy at age four with a woman he ain’t married too. And that relationship is always on rocky waters, even though John’s decided to do right by his own flesh and blood sometime ago. Most things in the world he should feel good about he doesn’t, and most things he should understand render him clueless. He’s a mess on multiple accounts, and he still doesn’t know how exactly he’s meant to approach this life of his. He knows what he should do, but nothing about how to do it. 

John doesn’t come to love you easily ‘cause he wouldn’t know easy love if it hit him in his face. Quickly and painfully, but not easily. 

Your return to the gang was an odd one. You were an old presence and your disappearance was an even older story. John thought he’d never gonna see you again for sure. You’d been a part of the gang back long before all of the nonsense that took place in Blackwater and you left about the time Arthur’s boy died. John don’t remember why you left exactly. He thinks it was a fight with Hosea, of all things.

 Dutch weren't too happy about it neither, but Dutch back then didn’t make a show. 

So you left, and John buried every feeling he ever harbored. You found all them again up in Colter, where you’d been living out your days lately. According to you, in the middle of riding, you thought you’d heard Arthur. So, somewhat recklessly, you went chasing him. Didn’t matter if he was just something your mind conjured. According to you, if it was him, it was at least worth checking to make sure. You’d reunited with Arthur and after some tears, he rode with you back to camp. 

Upon your return, the gang welcomed you with open arms. 

You’d done a lot in your time alone.You spent most of that time just like that, a ghost wanderin’ the planes. You weren’t gonna stay with ‘em, but Arthur insisted and Hosea did too. That wasn’t enough to compel, so John was last to chip in. You should stay, at least until Valentine. 

(Silently he thought, you should stay so John can trace memories of you. It was so long ago, he should’ve forgotten all of it. You were a year older than John and always on his ass but easy for him to talk to. Didn’t fuss over his failures. You just barely grew into your womanhood when you set your sights on running away. You wanted more than this life, and John never really forgave you for it. His first heartbreak, maybe - but it’s all too blurry for that. 

You understood him though better than anyone, and one day you were gone. Nothing’s really the same.) 

You changed tremendously and not at all. He missed you. God, did he ever. Missed you a long time. Didn’t realize how much until you came back and everything in him felt right again. Your return stirred up old feelings and everyone noticed. He wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, but he really wasn’t trying to fall back into anything with you. Not how he did. 

Just like you did back then, you read John like an open book. And just like he did back then, he loved you all too helplessly for it.  It was just all too easy again, to be with you. 

You stayed out of the way at first, for the sake of his family. 

But, John ain’t a half-decent man even when he’s trying to be. So he set himself on being with you. It wasn’t easy - most things with him aren’t as you’ll see.  Having you around again straightened what was left of his common sense, at least. He told Abigail before telling you. He figured you wouldn’t even reply unless that was all out of the way. That turned out as well as you’d expect.

 It was settled between the two of you thereafter. He’s lucky she didn’t toss him into the street. 

Everything works out in a way. As best they can between broken people. You make peace with each other. His boy loves you like a third parent (you’re better with him than John is). Abigail commends you for straightening out such a worthless man though she’s a little melancholy.  John just tries to stay out of the way. You’ll be together in the end. There’s a plan with the five of you. 

But until it all falls apart, he doesn’t get all that much time with you. 

There’s moments like tonight, though. Rare ones. Together out robbin’, cooped out some place in the woods where no one is around. A place so shaded by nightfall that John can absolve himself of every sin he’s ever committed in his life and pray at the altar between your hips. John is convinced he might find worship like he’s always hearing about there whenever he touches you, the marred skin of his hands and knuckles reading the scripture of your body with careful precision. 

You might turn him into a literate man yet. 

John glances up at you. Only the light of the fire and the moonlight there to accompany as he watches you over him. You’re beautiful. John couldn’t picture a single thing more perfect in his life. 

Your hands against his bare chest, nails digging into the flesh as you lean forward. Your palm dug into the dirt, John finds his own hands rested at your hips. John looks at you awe-struck, cock twitching at the mere sight. His heart settles in his throat, but he’s calm all at the same time. With you, he forgets. All of it. The worst of himself. 

Bare naked and so close, he watches your face as you strain. You feel soft. Every inch of you in comparison to him is. A bead of sweat slides down the valley of your breasts. John cranes his neck up to catch it with his tongue, licking a stripe up to your neck - letting his teeth sink into the space between your jaw and neck. You want to make it last and John doesn’t blame you. It’s so rare you get to have each other so unrestrained. John can feel all the ways you want him, can see it in your face - all pinched with need. You’re holding yourself back, trying to get it to last as long as the night will allow. It’s cute in a way.

It’s different than how he’s used to seein’ you, all cocky or otherwise. You’re needy like this. Just needy. His stomach turns with lust, jolting through him like a strike of lightning. His cock twitches against your folds, sliding against them. Pure admiration watching the sticky mess of his pre-cum and your own arousal mix together and smear on your mound. You make a soft noise in the back of your throat, faint and tender as you fall forward just a little. John laughs against your neck. 

“Darlin’,” He says with a huff. Not malice. Something akin to bliss, where he can rarely afford it “Have I done something to piss you off today?” 

You pick yourself up and look down at him and frown. John kisses the corner of your mouth, resisting some crude desire to fuck up into you. 

“Just,” You grunt as the tip of his cock passes over your throbbing clit, your whole body wracking to a shiver. John looks awed. “Pent up. Goddamn it,” 

John figures it out quickly after that. It’s this part of it he likes. The proximity. The closeness. Feeling the tremble in your hands as they struggle to keep up right, muscles strained in your forearms. Being able to hold you, to keep the pace or let you take the lead. The clear view of your face as pleasure travels up through your spine and melts into you. He grabs your hips, the fat dimpling underneath his fingers as he moves you along. He can’t wait. You don’t bother to protest seeing John can’t seem to bear it anymore. You collapse into his chest, your tits pushed flat against his pecs.

His cock throbs near painfully, sliding against your soft cunt before finding himself lined with you. He thinks to himself that it’s this he was looking for, as he tucks your face against his neck and lets his tip stretch you out slowly. Such a vice like grip, stretching - resisting him like your whole body can’t anticipate the sensation of fullness. You gasp against his throat. 

“John,”  

What a sweet sound from your mouth, even sweeter as he bucks himself up. Keeps you steady and lets his cock stretch you full, feel you deep. “That’s right, my angel. Didn’t think you’d remember my name when you’re all worked up like this.” 

“You’re,” You gasp and John thrusts, thrusts hard until he’s buried to the hilt. You shudder, walls pulsing around him as he bottoms out and John laughs like the terrible man he is. He fucks you again, over and over - a wicked little smile watching “Awful. Just awful, John Marston,” 

“Ain’t that the truth,” He hums against your mouth as his hand snakes between your bodies, thumb rubbing against your clit. “Wonder what kinda woman that makes you,” 

“A foolish one,” 

John laughs. 

“I sure do love you for it,”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆JAVIER ESCUELLA + SIDEWAYS ;

Javier hasn’t thought about much other than surviving. 

It’s been like that. Been like that for a while, probably much longer than he cares to admit. He’s sure any sane man would suffer the same plight if they lead the same life. Anything but survival is little more than a pipe-dream, so Javier tries not to go for anything too strongly. In that aspect he’s like many of the members of the gang he’s in, perhaps that’s why he sticks to them. There’s that phrase Hosea’s always saying - that misery loves company. Javier will take any decent company he can get.  He’s desperate for it just like he’s desperate for most things - inwardly, silently. 

Some of that desperation may be symptomatic of who he is. After he killed a man in a crime of passion for a woman he loved and ran from a government who would sooner exile him than change, Javier decided to not dream anymore. Every revolutionary who dreams too hopefully pays the price in blood.

(Javier thinks there’s probably nothing in the world as true as this. A form of gospel. He remembers the first dream he ever had after his uncle passed. Not a nightmare but a dream. He remembers the exact feeling of waking up, cold and confused. What is a dream, except a memento of survivor's guilt that loyal people cling onto fruitlessly. When hope starts to feel like a debt he’s going to waste his life paying back, Javier loses sight of everything. The beginning of the end in some way.) 

His mind doesn’t occupy itself with anything bigger than that. Since Dutch found him starving, there was never a desire to try and live off aspirations. He pays his penance with loyalty and honor. Practices some form of humility and tries, not too desperately, to carve a place for him to fit. All without drawing too much attention or caring too much. If you ignore the bleeding in his fingers, his penchant for knives over guns, and his refusal to talk too long about the place he comes from - it’s nearly believable that none of it matters. 

Except loyalty. All Javier honors is that. It’s the only thing he has some part in choosing, so he choses it every time. Living like that didn’t make any difference to him. He was surrounded by mostly decent people. He didn’t hate the life he was living. 

It wasn’t important. It didn’t matter. His directionless-ness, his floating. Hadn’t since he joined the gang. At least not to anyone but him. He didn’t know what he’s meant to do or if he was meant to proceed with this forever. He was (is)  loyal to Dutch. To the gang. 

He hadn’t thought much about what comes after. 

And it didn’t matter until he met you

He’d sworn off love after seeing where it got him, at least until he could love more dispassionately. When the women bring you back from their outing from Valentine and beg Dutch to let you stay, Javier doesn’t think much of it all. He thinks you’re pretty, if it counts for anything. But he doesn’t let himself linger on you too long. 

But that’s the sequence with you two, really. The whole time.  He doesn’t linger until he does. It doesn't matter until it does. He doesn’t think about you until it’s all he can think about. 

You go for him first. And it’s in little, unimportant ways that might not mean shit to you but mean a whole lot to him. You have some kind of tenderness about you that you wear deep, runs through your blood like love ran through his once long ago. Some softness he can’t really measure with his own. It’s not that that gets him. It’s that sometimes you look at Javier like he's … someone you want to see. He forgot what that was like all together. It felt foreign to him the first time it happened. Seeing how you light up when Javier is around. 

You wanted to see him. You noticed that he’s gone. If he sang by the campfire - you’d sit by him and listen.  If he was out in the trees keeping guard, he’d hear the soft call of your voice to Grimshaw ask Where’s Javier? And sometimes the girls will make fun of you - but you wouldn’t deny anything they said. It’s so small and ordinary. He would’ve never considered himself simple before meeting you. Nothing is simple. Nothing. 

(But then, Javier thinks of the kinds of songs he sings and the way he takes care of himself and the clothes he wears and maybe Javier has some kind of affinity for preciousness that explains all of it.) 

When Javier confesses his feelings for you - he finds the affair to be like most things between you. Ordinary love, not really between outlaws but people. It’s up against a tree while you share a drink and he’s looking at the curve of your mouth and the plum color Karen’s so kindly put on you. And his head fills with kissing you so he does. A breathless confession between alcohol stains and the feeling of your hands curled in the lapels of his suit. 

From there, Javier is your lover. He’s not interested in the business of secrets, but he tries not to let it show too much. Not that he doesn’t want to. He wants to show you off more than anything - at least some part of him does. But the other part wants to keep you away from prying eyes, keep his love for you only where the both of you can see. If he could keep that pretty lovestruck face you make all to himself forever he would. 

When he gets a chance to whisk you away from everything, Javier jumps at the chance. Not often, but Javier makes time for you. Makes time to indulge in love he thought he’d  never find again. 

That’s why he’s here with you in the middle of nowhere, a ghost town where no one knows you.. A reserved room with a bed and lowlights all to yourselves. 

Javier can’t keep his hands to himself and he doubts you expect him too. 

For Javier, this sense of proximity is what intoxicates him most. The warmth of your bare skin in the slivers of yourself exposed. Javier is fond of finding you like this after a long day of horse riding. Of sneaking touches to your waist as you push back against him to sleep, only to find his desire for you - laid clearly. He likes hearing you whimper feeling his length poke against your back, the embarrassment when it dawns on you that he wants you after all. Always surprised, even though Javier tells you it so often. Whispers it along your neck and shoulders whenever you’re at camp together.

You like the feeling of his hands so Javier always starts with them. He squeezes your hips. Planes his palms over your chest before squeezing your chest, pushing the fat between his fingers. You like the way  they look when they grope you, his chin resting against your shoulder as you spoon. In the lowlights of a cheap hotel - Javier gets the perfect view of your silhouette. Your body is sensitive over the fabric of your gown, heat prickling through you. 

Javier who is always so gentle with you, rouses so deep listening to your whining as he explores your body. The suffocating closeness of a single bed intoxicates him. 

“Javier,” Your voice is sweet and thin. Plays in Javier’s head like music and makes his mouth curl up into a catlike grin as you push back on him.  You look slightly over your shoulder, lips pushed into a pout. “Please,” 

He tugs at the fabric of your nightgown. The top half pulls haphazard underneath your tits, nipples perky and sensitive to touch while the skirt pools at your waist. What gets Javier like this is the desperation. Wanting so much but not being able to look too long. A way for you to mirror him, it’s a matter of possession. In some stupid way. Bunching your clothes up, pushing the fabric of your panties to one side, letting his arm wrap around your waist to touch and tease.  All of these are imprints of his longing, tucked faithful into your side as he whispers sweet nothings into your skin.

His cock twitches as it pushes past your folds with finality, your hands curling up at your sides.  You whimper softly, let your cheek rest against the sheets as Javier takes you on your side. Terribly close, you fuss as you feel him slide every inch into you slow, your hands reaching back for purchase. It’s the fit of you against him so perfect, the silent strokes of intimacy, the hush-hush giggles between the sheets that Javier loves most about fucking you like this. Too enamored with you to look too closely, he lets his eyes flutter closed. He could get drunk just being in your space. 

He carves out space for himself inside of you, feels your cunt accommodate for him like it loves him. A feverishness breaks out as his forehead rests on the space between your shoulders, an uncharacteristic whiny quality in his words. 

“Ser mío,” Javier says - as a reflection of what he really wants, to belong only to you. “Belong to me.” 

Darling as you always are, you nod softly. 

“All yours, Javier,” You whimper, finding his hand. “Forever,”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆ CHARLES SMITH + MATING PRESS ; 

Wandering. 

He’s been doing it his whole life. Not something he’s proud of. Or ashamed of either, really. Just how things have gone for him until now. Charles doesn’t think his life has been any better or any worse than anyone else's. At least not when he weighs it with the same kind of pragmatism he does most things. It’s been a hard life, and a miserable one in so many ways. Still, it’s not something Charles is too keen to dwell on. 

There’s just something thematic about loss in Charles' life in a way he finds completely unpleasant. It’s more constant than anything. Loss of his home, loss of his mother, loss of his father in an attempt to find what’s best for him. It’s some overarching message that hangs over his head like a shadow. Everywhere he goes, trying to rectify his own solitude seems to come back to him. It doesn’t help that it’s an unfair world to start with, and would’ve been if he had just been black or just been native. But Charles is both, and has lived a life that reflects that specific injustice thoroughly. 

There’s not really anything Charles can do about it, at its baseline. When he left his father, the name of the game had simply been survival. He was well-equipped enough for that at least. But after survival comes trying to live and trying to live isn’t something so simple. Jumping in and out of gangs who thought they could get away with slighting him or generally being surrounded by unpleasant people. Trying to find something in pages of book and scripture, or in the way water ripples when it rains. 

He’s never felt any one way towards the gang. Even when he joined them all the way back in the Grizzlies. Lost in the cold, they’d crossed paths as Charles was out hunting. A lot of it feels like a blur. Of all the folks he’s met in his travels though, Dutch treats him fair and the rest of them (or most of them) are decent, honest folk. Charles stays in the Van Der Linde gang for such simple reasons as trying to stay alive and be somewhere that isn’t actively hostile towards him. He’s a good gunman, and a better fighter. The inner workings of gang politics and forging connection isn’t at the forefront of his mind, with the exception of the kindest few. 

The Van Der Linde gang is just a place where he can figure out what his purpose is meant to be, even if he doesn’t find it there. He’s never expecting anything to come out from his loyalties to it. 

Of all the things Charles expects of his life in the Van Der Linde gang, love is at the very bottom of the list. 

Maybe it’s about time he stops being surprised by these things happening to him one or way another.

 You were a member of the gang far before him, and someone Charles took to quickly. You’d joined the gang not too long after John from what Arthur tells him. Though the brunette speaks about you more fondly than he does his brother. A problem child at the start, according to Arthur - always getting into all sorts of trouble. Something you seemingly feel embarrassed about now and refuse to bring up. Charles has a hard time picturing it having only known you as you are. 

The woman you’ve grown into is someone else completely, and Charles sees that in you all the time. Compassionate like Hosea but charismatic like Dutch, and clever. And you’re beautiful, too, though Charles feels a little shallow admitting that’s part of what drew you into him. 

It wasn’t Charles that approached you first. You were the one who spoke to him, as often as you thought necessary but never in a way he found invasive. He doesn’t know what it is exactly about you that charms him near instantly. You’re enigmatic to a fault. It’s like you always know exactly what to say and exactly when to say it. Even more than that, you’re a terribly pleasant person to be around. Subtly warm and free of assumptions. When Charles talks to you about anything, you listen without making him feel like it’s any sort of burden to you. You don’t pry, don’t make missteps. Treat him fair, and then some. 

It’s unbearably simple, just how quickly and how easily he comes to adore you.  And, in some ways, Charles knows better than to believe that his purpose is loving someone. There’s more to it than that, surely - after everything. 

But then, he’ll watch you do something. Watch you do some kind of menial work that he could do for you instead. Thinks of skinning animals for new clothes and chopping wood and rubbing the soap off of you and all of a sudden it makes him feel anchored. Everything he could do for you. You anchor Charles easily, with a wispy smile. Make him want to find purpose in life with you. He never wants to be somewhere you’re not. 

He confesses it to you just like that, and like you do with most things - you accept and reciprocate without making too much of a fuss. 

For Charles, making love is an extension of wanting to ground himself in you. A distant siren song - the intersection of lust and bone deep adoration. Like most things, you’re the one to approach first every time. A soft hand on his forearm, a whisper that you want him. It’s with ease that he draws you away. Drags from you camp during nightfall with his horse and blankets and picks a spot with the perfect view of the stars. 

Charles watches you under the glow of moonlight, his vision adjusting to you easily. Naked underneath him, laid on your back with your legs folded at your knees - heaving deep breaths. He can see the sweat beading down your skin, your chest rising and falling - and the perfect view of your pussy. His hands and mouth are wet as you breathe out. He finds himself smiling at you, his own erection pressed against your thigh, pre-cum leaking out in a mesmerized haze. 

You lift your hands up and he leans down, surprised as you wrap them around his neck and pull him closer to you. Your mouths meet like that, and Charles laughs against your lips as you kiss him so eagerly. You blink at him, pretty. You’re always prettier than he remembers you being the last time he looks. 

“Charles,” You frown at him. “It’s impolite to keep a lady waiting,” 

He kisses the corner of your mouth. “Sorry, my love. I don’t want to hurt you,” 

“Well, I’m fine with it,” You repeat, almost petulant. Charles frowns. “‘Sides, it ain’t my first time taking you, you know?” 

“Well, I’m not fine with it.” 

You pout, looking at him all endeared. Charles couldn’t help but love you even if he tried. “You ain’t gonna hurt me. C’mon. Please?” 

“Please, what?” 

You look at him aghast before breaking out into a faux-scandalized giggle. “Now you—please fuck me. Pretty, please.” 

Charles feels something tickling against his spine hearing you say it. He couldn’t imagine getting sick of you in his whole life.  “Yeah, that’s good to hear.” 

You make an indignant noise but it’s silenced quickly as Charles positions himself against your entrance. He has plenty of discipline when it comes to matters like these, but right now - he feels like he’s going to lose his mind. Not nearly enough patience to wait. He lets his hands go up underneath your knees just to have something to hold onto. 

You make a little gasp as the tip of his cock pushes into you. Your walls are so soft, likely after all the orgasms he’d given you prior. You stop him in a shocked gasp, and Charles immediately readies himself to pull out. As if sensing his hesitance, you shake your head. 

“Charles,” You gasp, the words caught in your throat and hoarse “Deep. Want it deep,” 

His abdomen tightens, cocking twitching hard at your words. He agrees silently to your desires. 

When it comes to sex, there’s very little Charles dislikes.

But this is his favorite. He’s simple but no other position lets him see you so close. He likes the way your eyes widen as he pushes up underneath your knees and folds you underneath his weight. How you look pinned down under him, the perfect view of your eyes rolling back into your head and the proximity from your face to his. He lets his cock stretch you out slowly, throbbing each time your nails dig desperately into arms trying to keep your composure. Fuck you feel so tight like that. Soft pussy, dripping and sticky. You suck him in relentlessly, and Charles groans as he bottoms out. You take every inch of him so well. So perfect like the rest of you. 

Your eyes flutter open as he stays there, buried in you in complete bliss. You’re dazed. 

“Kiss?” 

Surprise followed by adoration, he abides by your request easily. Overwhelmed with it as he presses a chaste peck to your mouth, he laughs. “As many as you want.”

Anything you want, Charles thinks, he would give to you. 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

[selfloverrrrrr]

AMAZING!! hey lil ma😍😍I have a REQUEST..SMT LIKE yn has been working as a manager/secretary to her childhood bully gojo while he desperately tries get her attention for months and finally losses it one night when yn was working overtime in his office/place noncon ofcourse THATS ALL I'm really curious how you'll do it❤️❤️nd I really love the way to write I read all your oneshots😭😭🙏🙏OMG SO GOOD ND HAVE A NICE DAYY

I'm sorry if I'm too late 😭

Overtime~

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, torture, size difference....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

Y/n's POV

"this is the company? This office is really so huge" I asked. "Yes.... and best of luck" Shoko said. "You think they'll take me for the job? I'm so nervous" I replied. "Chill, girl.... don't be so nervous! I know you're capable of this. Thik about the money they'll pay then you won't be dealing with any problem" she replied placing a hand on my shoulder.

She's right. I really need money that's why I'm searching for a job. I've paid for my rent for almost three months. Shoko is making me food every day so I can save some money. But how many days can I go like this? Shoko is the one who told me about this company who is currently taking interviews for the secretary position. If I pass this my all problems will be solved.

I looked at her and smiled. "Okay...see you after the interview" I said and went out of the car. "Ok bye... I'll be waiting in the parking lot" she said and turned the. I took a deep breath and went inside the building. Some people were coming out of that building. "Gosh that CEO is so rude. Why is he so rude?!" They were talking with each other. What does they mean rude??? I'm sure I won't get this job.After waiting for almost 30 minutes they called me inside. I went inside the room. That room was as luxurious as the whole office.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU STILL COULDN'T FIND HER???? IT'S LITERALLY 3 FUCKING YEARS YOU ALL ARE WORKING TO FIND HER.... AND YOU STILL COULDN'T?! YOU ALL ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES!!!! MEET ME TODAY" I saw a tall guy yelling at his phone. He seems like the CEO. There were few workers in that room but I can tell by his dressing that he's the CEO. I couldn't see his face since he's facing the window. And why is he yelling at someone like that. Gosh I'm dead...he is literally so rude. He ended the call. "Who's next?" He asked annoyingly and then turned around. And we both froze.

Gojo's POV

Those damn dumbs.... can't even stalk properly?! Can't find a girl in the whole japan?! Y/n was in my college. She left the city just because I bullied her? How dare she? After graduation I haven't seen her. I tried to ignore the feelings I felt but I couldn't. I controlled myself for 2 years. But after that I hired some people to find where she lives and those idiots still couldn't find?! And on the other hand the annoying interview is going on. I ended the call then turned around.

And my eyes widened and I almost froze there. Is that y/n? Am I seeing right? She came to give interview?! Fuck.... I'm not dreaming right??? So it was in both of our fates? So I wasn't doing anything wrong? If our fate made this that really means she is mine...or maybe I've to make her mine? firstly I've been sure that she's y/n and not her lookalike. From her expressions I'm 99% sure she's y/n.

I sat on my chair. "So what's your name?" I asked. I can tell she's nervous. "I'm.... I'm y/n....y/n l/n" she replied. I couldn't hold back my smirk. After all those years I finally found her? And like this? Never imagined. And..... she's feeling uncomfortable. "So why do you want this job?" I asked. "I really need money.... I can't pay for my rent for months" she replied.

"okay give me your qualifications" I said. She handed me a file. My eyes scanned over the documents. "Hmm... okay. Gotta boyfriend?" I asked. "Huh?" She was shocked. "I mean I don't want destruction for my secretary" I said. "Oh...no. I don't have a boyfriend" she replied. RELIEF. "Okay... join from tomorrow and yuta? Tell the other interviews to go back" I said.

Y/n's POV

I left the room. My heart felt like it's gonna burst. Wtf did just happened?! The CEO is Gojo?! The guy who made me cry my whole childhood till the college? And now he just hired me as his secretary?! Fuckkkkkkk too much happened today. I don't have any other choice I have to do this job. I really need money. I sighed loudly and went to the parking lot.

"what happened?" Shoko asked as I entered the car. "I'm selected" I replied with a smile. My head was hurting so much so I thought not to tell her everything now. "That's great!!! I'm so happy! Today we're gonna order so many foods" she said and started the car. "Yes yes sure" I replied and we both went to her house.

After a month

After joining the company nothing really happened. Which I thought was surely gonna happen but it didn't. And I'm glad that it didn't happen. Work was going well. Gojo didn't spoke about any of those old days. It's almost one month passed. I was checking the files in Gojo's office when my phone rang. I checked my phone it was Shoko.

I picked up the call and put it on speaker while checking the files. "Hello?" I said. "What are you doing madam?" She asked. "What else other than doing these boring shits?" I said and we both laughed. "But I'm happy that you got this job....or else I was almost ready to find a sugar daddy" she said. "Yes a hot sugar daddy" I said and we both laughed.

I suddenly heard a scoff. I turned around and saw Gojo standing there. "Shoko I'll call you later" I said and hung up the call. "When did you come back, sir?" I asked. "When you said to your friend that you're doing some shitty work here" he replied. I cursed myself under my breath. I should look at my surroundings before saying things. "I.... It wasn't like that... I wasn't talking about your works-" before I could complete my sentence he cut off my sentence.

"yeah I know what you meant" he said and smirked. Fuck! I think my work is gone now. "Anyways I was saying we have a meeting tomorrow with the other company ceos you remember that?" He asked. Oh he's not throwing me out? Thank God! "Yes... yes sir I do remember" I replied. "Okay so make sure the files are ready and you have to do overtime after the meeting tomorrow okay?" He asked. "Yeah it's fine" I replied.

Gojo's POV

The next day

The CEO of other companies arrived. The meeting was about to start. We sat on our seats. I noticed that Sukuna was looking at y/n. I rolled my eyes. The meeting started. And he's still staring at her?! Tf does he want?! He has a secretary as well...why is he looking at mine?! WAIT! DID HE JUST LOOKED AT HER THIGHS?! those are mine to stare at. I can't blame that short skirt will make anyone stare but he shouldn't!!!

The meeting ended. Suguru Geto aka my best friend and CEO of another company came to me. We shook hands and we were talking. I looked away for a bit and I saw Sukuna approaching y/n. He went to her and called her. She turned around and gave him a smile. he offered a hand to shake. She took his hand. And suddenly HE HUGGED HER?! She doesn't look like she was expecting that. I went to them and called Sukuna.

"yo... Sukuna" I said. He looked at me and let go of her. "Yeah" he replied and came towards me. I offered a hand and he took it. I pressed his hand tightly. "Don't even look at her" I said with grinded teeth then let go of his hand. He looked at his now red hand then at me. Then smirked. "Well that's was a new way to say hello but okay.... gonna see you later and her as well" he said and they all went out. I clenched my jaw.

In the evening

We both reached my house. She has overtime today. My private office is just beside my bedroom. I told her to go there and I went to the bathroom to wash my face. My mind was replying Sukuna hugging y/n. I just can't stand it... she's fucking mine can't he just understand?!. I went out and went to the office and sat on the couch. She was standing beside the table and was checking some files on the table. And I was behind her.

She slightly bend over to see the files. Fuck....bend a little more lemme see what is mine. "Three products came for collaboration. One of them is beer. So I already declined that. You said you don't want to collaborate with any alcoholic product that's why" she said. "Hmmm..." I replied and my concentration was still on her ass.

"and then a Condom company. They said they made stretchable condoms which will fit everyone. And then a perfume company claiming that their perfume lasts more than 14 hours" she said. "Hmm" I replied. "If you agree I'll send it to the test then we can collaborate with them" she said. I stood up and walked towards her whose back was still facing me.

Y/n's POV

I was putting down the file from my hand when I almost tripped over the table from a force from my back. I turned around my head and saw Gojo standing there. His front pressed against my back. "What were you talking with Sukuna?" He asked. "What?" I asked. "I SAID WHAT WERE YOU TAKING WITH SUKUNA?!" He screamed. I got nervous. "N-Nothing.... h-he was saying h-he liked my outfit then hugged me all of a sudden " I replied.

"you're not lying?" Gojo asked. "N-No sir...i-I'm not" I replied. My heart pumping loudly. He smirked and made me turn around. "You know y/n... I miss those days..." He said and pressed his crotch against my thigh. "I really really reallyyyyyy miss your screams" he said. Then I felt his hand reaching underside of my breast. I stopped his. "G-gojo P-Please" I said. I felt like I'm going to cry.

"one touch and sir became Gojo?" He asked with a smirk. "G-gojo P-Please don't" I said. "You know what...." He said and picked up the sample condom from the table "why should I send it on test when I can test it myself" he said and chuckled. "No no no please" I cried out. He picked me up on his shoulder and took me to his bedroom. Then threw me on the bed.

He started undoing his shirt flexing his toned body. "Gojo please.... you're out of your mind" I said. He crawled towards me then pinned me underneath him. "Now you gonna tell me what to do?" He asked grabbing my chin roughly. His nails digging into my skin. I started crying. "ANSWER ME!" He ordered. I shook my head left and right. "N-No" I replied. "Then you should shut the fuck up" he said and I sobbed.

He pressed his lips on mine. Kissed me roughly. Forcing me to open my mouth and then pushing his tongue inside. Exploring my mouth. He bit on my lower lip. The giving open mouthed kisses from jaw to collarbone. Leaving hickeys all over. And the thing haunting me was his laugh. The evil laugh he's laughing. He sat up then grabbed his shirt and tore it off.

"g-gojo P-Please please don't" I cried and Tried to cover me. But he grabbed my hands and pushed them apart. "Do you remember the day you came for the interview and I was screaming on my phone? That I hired some people to find someone but they couldn't?" He asked. "I was talking about you....I hired them to find you and you know why?" He asked and brought his face close to mine.

"because I'm soooo fucking obsessed with you" he said then smirked again. I was scared instead of shocked because I know that's gonna make my life a nightmare.He took off my bra. I tried to protest but nothing happened. He looked at my boobs with lust in his eyes and didn't waste any time, crashed his mouth on my breast licking, sucking and teasing the nipple and squeezing the other one with his hand. I moaned in the sensation.

Then he took off my pantie."you look better without it" he whispered and then looked at my pussy. He rubbed his finger on my clit and whispered " so wet. You naughty little slut, I'm sure you were imagining your boss doing dirty things with you ~". Then he licked my pussy. I couldn't help but moan loudly. He smirked at my reaction and undo his pants.

His dick sprang out. It was too big and too thick. Fear grabbed me by my neck. " G-gojo no no no... P-please no... s-stop" I begged but didn't even listen to me and slammed his whole dick inside me in one slide. I screamed. Why was this happening with me?! I shouldn't have accepted to work in his office in the first place! He didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thrusting in and out roughly. I was through my legs with pain and begging him to stop. And he liked it so much. His thrust became harder and harder. I clenched around him tightly and he moaned loudly " ughhhhhh....ahhh s-so...ahhhh....so f-fucking tight " he started rubbing my clit with his thumb and I bite his shoulder scratched his back to control myself.

With a few more thrusts I came. He looked at me and smirked. "You liked it huh?" He asked and laughed. He was still thrusting roughly. "Gojo please" I sobbed. I was through my legs trying to stop him. But he seemed like he was liking it so much. His thrust became harder and harder. I clenched around him tightly and "look you saying you don't want this and already going to cum again before me"he whispered. He started rubbing my clit with his thumb again and my fell back moaning loudly his name. And that's what he was waiting for.

I came again. Shame grabbed me all over. I looked away and couldn't even look at him. "Awww is someone ashamed?" He asked. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. I tried to push him away with all of my strength." Ughh...no no no no...ahhhhhh...no please no....ahhhhhh..... n-not ahhhh.....not inside..." I moaned. He looked down at me. " Call me daddy.... say that it feels so good... and maybe I won't cum inside" He said while thrusting. I sobbed looking at him. He spanked me"come on...you can do better " he said. "I-It feels so good... daddy" I whispered to him. He kissed me and whispered"good girl". But he didn't pull out. His thrust became harder. "W-wait...you said you'll pull out" I said. "I said maybe" he whispered with a smirk. Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He pulled out.

"huhhhh... fuck I always knew you would feel so good. Those porn videos weren't working. Of course those weren't you.... I don't know how those stupids jerk off using those.... but who cares? I got you permanently " he said with a smirk look at my teary face.

Give me your requests guys...

I love when you give me your requests 💕

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Baby

❥Yandere Park Seonghwa x fem reader

SPOOKTOBER SPECIAL

➯a/n: this is a work of fiction and does NOT represent a healthy little and caregiver relationship, or a healthy relationship of any kind. this is messed up but i wanted to experiment with my writing and i think i succeeded. let me know what you think of this cause i would love love looooove to write more

✃ "You're my baby, say it to me." - Mitski, I Bet on Losing Dogs

✫彡wordcount: 4k

♡'･ᴗ･'♡(ಡ‸ಡ)genre: yandere, HEAVY angst

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: stockholm syndrome, mind breaking, spanking, mentions of bribery, mommy hwa (i cannot help myself)

⁂taglist: @stvrfir3 @tunaasan @marievllr-abg

✩index: little space; a regressed state of mind where one feels like a child. hyung; a name for an older male friend or sibling, used by other males.

MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI

    "I'm home, sorry I'm late!" Seonghwa called out as he entered the apartment, looking around the empty rooms. "Baby?" He peeked into the kitchen, dinner untouched on the stove. "San?" The living room, the news channel on mute. "Mingi?" Both of his roommates rooms, desolate.

"No!" Your shout calls him to his room at the end of the hall, followed by a clanging and a yell of pain from his friend.

"Baby?! Baby!?" He turns into his room in a panic, eyes wide as he witnesses the scene infront of him.

You're curled up in a ball in the corner of his bed- head in your knees- with San holding Mingis arm as he curses under his breath, one of your bottles on the floor at their feet. "Hyung," He turns quickly and picks up the bottle, pointing it at you accusingly, "she threw this at Mingi!"

"Baby, why would you do that?" He takes the bottle from San and slowly kneels on the edge of the bed, reaching for you.

You say nothing, only whining and kicking his hand away. So he turns his attention back to the younger members. "What happened?" He wants to scream at them, really. How could they make his Baby cry when they know everything he went through and continues to go through to have you as his own? But that would only make you more upset. You don't like when he raises his voice, so he keeps it calm. "Is she hurt?"

"Hyung... We really didn't mean to, we tried to-" Mingi is almost in tears, he truly feels for you. But it's been months. If he could have helped he'd of found a way by now. But they need Seonghwa. And some of the members wouldn't even dream of turning him in- even after what he's done. For selfish reasons maybe. But it doesn't matter why or why not. You've been stuck in their apartments for half a year. They'd thought all of your deficiency had passed. That they could pretend it was okay.

"What happened, Baby?" He turns back to you, gently touching your knee.

That little touch seems to make you snap. Screaming obscenities in his face as you go on and on about how you are not, in fact, his baby. You aren't his at all. You want to go home. You don't love him. You don't like San. You don't like Mingi. You don't like any of the members, actually. You don't like living here. You wish you'd never even met him.

All three of them watch aghast, jaws dropped as you yell insult after insult at them. Hot in the face and tears streaming down like a waterfall so harshly that they wet the collar of your baby blue dress and pool as a drop on your chin. You grab the little plushie that Jongho made with you and hurl it at Seonghwas face, hitting him on the nose.

He watches it fall to the floor and his eyes don't seem to move after that. He's forced to listen as you insult his character directly now. He's a insane person. He's a pervert. He's sick in the head. He's annoyingly overbearing. You loathe his guts. You wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire. You'd shoot him twice if you were in a room with him and a hungry tiger with only two bullets. You loathe his entire being. You aren't his Baby. You aren't even his girlfriend. He's delusional.

The words ring around his head hauntingly. You can't possibly mean those things. He takes care of you so well. He gives you the world and all he asks for in return is your love. And he's gotten it. At least he thought he had. He woke up with you by his side and went back to bed the same way. You gave him kisses on the cheek. You let him play with all of your favorite toys that no one else can touch. You let him bathe you and dress you. You let him do everything.

"Do you hear me?" You scream, throwing his neatly fluffed pillow at his already lowered head. "I hate you!"

The world stops in that moment, the millisecond that word slips from your mouth.

    It's silent in the room. In the apartment. Not only could you hear a pin drop—

    You can hear the single tear fall from Seonghwas eye and collide with the hardwood.

Both of them look at him. You look at him. He looks at the floor. There's a visible shift in his aura. He goes from unreadable to pissed in the blink of an eye. His shoulders tense up and his breathing gets shallow.

He stands up, almost robotically. He picks up his pillow and dusts it off, placing in back on the bed where it belongs. His gaze doesn't even bother to meet yours as you watch him with wide, fearful eyes. He grabs the plushie and sets it down as well. "...Get up. Bend over, Baby."

"Hwa, wait, pl-"

"Before I get the paddle."

He doesn't say anything else, glaring down at you as you move tentatively. After an incident with an unlocked window and some sheets resulting in you being dragged to Hongjoongs room by the ear, you don't even want to see the paddle. You had to sit on their laps or a pillow for two weeks straight, if memory serves you right.

    He doesn't reach to move you faster. He stands at the edge of the bed, deadly silent. He only intervenes when you look to Mingi and San beggingly. "You're not allowed to look at them anymore."

That was a rule when you first arrived. You only got that privilege a few weeks ago. You figured it was probably to make you feel distance to the fact that these were people, who could potentially help you leave him, and not just disembodied voices and lower bodies. A way to make you feel even more lonely. Even when they were so close that you could here their breathing.

Like now, Mingi lets out a few small sniffles here and there. Sans breaths sounds anxious. Like if he moves an inch that he will be next on his Hyungs list.

As you bend your body over the edge, they avert their eyes. They may be complacent with Seonghwas actions, but they will never cross that line. They, all seven of the younger members, promised it. Never touch you. Never take advantage of you. Never directly help Seonghwa control you in any way. In fact, most of them decided it would be best to help you however possible, without ruining all of their lives in the process. Getting you small gifts that Seonghwa pre-approved. Stealing you away to the other dorms for a movie night. Sneaking you an extra sweet or episode of cartoons when you were deep in little-space.

But there was nothing they could do when Seonghwa told you to do something. To go to bed early. To let him wash your hair. To give him a kiss. To suck on his thumb. To bend over.

So they could only look away with heavy hearts as he flips up your skirt and rips -quite literally- your underwear away. The sound makes Mingi cringe, your crying pleas for him make him want to disappear forever. "Ming, please, don't let him! I'm sor-"

Seonghwa doesn't even start easy on you, he smacks your bottom harshly, over and over again until your cheek is sore and aching all the way through to your hip. And then, for the briefest moment, you all think it's over when the loud echo of the smacks finally ceases. But that was only him moving to get a better angle on your other side.

    You cry loudly, and the sound officially makes Mingi cry. He lowers his head and turns his body away completely to try and distance himself from the abuse. San gently takes ahold of his pink in his own. It does little to comfort either of them, but it reminds them both of the pact that they made.

     All of their pinkies interlocked, a promise that they would do their best for their obviously challenged Hyung.

        Both of your cheeks bruising and hot to the touch, Seonghwa finally backs up. He moves his knees from their place on either side of you and lets you crumble to the floor in a pile of sobs. He stops briefly to pull your skirt over you half-hazardly before leaving you completely alone as you blubber into your arms.

     His palm is red, as angry as he was. He takes a deep breath as he takes a pump of lotion, rubbing it into his hands as he turns to the other men.

      "Tell me what happened."

    Mingi wipes his face roughly, straightening up as San speaks lowly, "we turned on the TV. We were going to watch a movie, but... but she saw it on the news before we could even change it."

    "What did she see?"

   "Her missing persons photo..."

✿

The door was locked behind them and there was no noise in the apartment. If you hadn't known better, you'd say they all left. But Seonghwa refused to ever leave you alone. Even when all of the members were busy. You either went with them or had a staff member watching you, one who'd coincidentally received a raise moments before.

You stayed right there on the floor for the longest time, sobbing and snotting all over the floor as you tried to calm yourself.

Oh, you really outdid yourself this time.

Even at his angriest, Seonghwa never left your side when there was a tear in your eye.

You knew he had no tolerance for that word. Hate. Ironically, you could say he hated it. Especially when it came out of your lips. You once said you hated the show he put on. He gave you a fourty minute lecture and three smacks to the behind.

And you just aimed it right at him. You meant to make him angry. And you succeeded.

Now, into the night, when he still hasn't returned, you start to wonder wether you snapped his last string of humanity. If he hated you just as much as you claimed you hated him. If he's out in the kitchen planning how to get rid of you.

Your body aches as you sit up, screaming at you as you crawl into the small pink tent in the corner of the room. It's placed on top of soft play mats and filled with baby-ish things that he insisted you needed every time he saw them. The softest blankets. The cutesy, most hug-able plushies. A small box of your favorite pacifiers and toys.

You untie the ribbon keeping the sheer fabric open and let it drape closed, as if it will shield you. Perhaps, in your fragile mind, it will. He never comes in here, only ever reaches in to grab the blankets to wash every other week.

You let yourself flop onto your side into the pile and find yourself sobbing all over again. Maybe, just maybe, in a fucked up, delusional way... Seonghwa does care for you. Maybe, just maybe, in his mind, he does all of these things because he believes it best for you.

You can still see Seonghwa in his room when he's not there. Maybe that's why you hate being cooped up in here. Always begging members to let you hang out in their rooms instead.

It's so neat. Even after the chaos of earlier. So color coordinated. Grey and white and warm lights.

You're the only exception. Toys and clothes and books strewn about in your little corner, just out of sight of his cam-corder.

   Maybe that's why you get so mad when you slip out of the little space he's built for you. You know you don't fit into his life seamlessly. You know the truth of your situation. So you may as well start making the best of it.

    With a groan of effort, you sit back up.

✿

   It's well past midnight when he turns the lock on the outside of his door. Which also means its well past your bedtime. You've become so well accustomed to it over your time together, he figures you've probably fallen asleep.  

       And he's right. He immediately spots you on his side do the bed, holding his pillow tight to your chest with your swollen eyes closed.

    A pant of regret hits him right where it hurts as he realizes just how much he made you cry. How much he made you hurt. His anger got the best of him, and it hurts his heart that deep down, he knows it won't be the last time.

     He's done it to everyone. His family. His members. Himself...

    His darkest thoughts reach out in the corners of his mind, saying that his Baby is better of without him. But he is quick to slap them away as he tip toes into the room.

    Somethings off, somethings different. Everything is in place.

    All of your toys and coloring books and short stories. All of your pacifiers and stuffed animals. They're on the shelf exactly how he puts them during his Sunday reset cleanings. All of your favorites are on the wall, your side of the bed. The multitude of blankets and throw pillows in your tent are folded and organized neatly. Your tears and snot have been wiped up. Your ripped panties in the bin.

    "Oh, my Baby," he whispers, immediately crawling into bed behind you and holding your back close to his chest, careful to avoid your bottom. He doesn't even want to fathom what he did to you... "My Baby..."

      He can't help but cry, though he tries to do so silently. He wants you to rest, you need it. But the smallest movement of the bed wakes you in your fragile state.

    When you stir, he expects you to crawl away. But you don't. Instead, you roll over to face him and shimmy into his arms. "Hey, sweet girl," he coos hoarsely.

     You were right, earlier. You weren't left alone in the apartment. San was sitting in the living room comforting Mingi as Seonghwa stormed off and went upstairs to Hongjoong. While they sat in silence, he screamed and screamed and screamed until he couldn't breathe.

     Eventually, Hongjoong and Yunho got him to calm down, and they talked and talked and talked. Yunho suggested, lightly, that you should stay the night with them. And then Seonghwa screamed some more.

     In all this time, your nighttime routine had never been interrupted. He had a very specific way the two of you did things before bed and he would have it no other way. In all this time, he's never let you out of his arms as he slept. Even that first night, you kicked and screamed and punched until you passed out. But you did so in his arms.

    "Mommy." It's a simple acknowledgment, but it calms him ever so slightly. He takes pride in that name. And it makes him happy you can still call him that after what he's done to you.

     "Are you okay, Baby?" He knows that the answer is no. But he'll give you the opportunity to speak for yourself. To tell him how to help.

     "Hurts," you sniffle as you press your face into his chest, " 'm hungry..."

     "Come on, Sweetpea, I'll take care of you."

    You koala hug onto him, arms around his neck and legs around his waist as he stands.

    And the nighttime routine starts now, a pattern of familiarity to calm both of your shot nerves.

    He gently sets you in your seat at the table, but not before pacing down a pillow he grabbed while passing the couch. It still burns even with the soft cushioning below you.

You eat in silence. Usually you would speak about your days, and the next one's plans. But there doesn't seem to be any words that either of you can find at the moment.

He rinses the dishes before picking you back up. No matter how many times you insist you can walk- he insists right back that his Baby must be carried. You pass Mingi on the way to the bathroom, and he gives you a small wave, his eyes bloodshot and his posture slumped. But he can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips as you wave back over Seonghwas shoulder.

The pillow goes down on the counter before you, and he starts your meticulous skin care. Your face wash, then his. Your toner, then his. Moisturizer, eye cream, spot treatment, the list goes on until your both brushing your teeth.

You will admit Seonghwa takes exceptionally good care of not only himself, but you as well.

He likes to massage your face after all is said and done. He says it's good for blood flow, which is true. But he does it for a few simpler reasons.

Your face in his hands. And a chance to admire you at the end of the day.

No matter how rough of a day it was. He could always count on this.

He cups your cheeks as he stands between your legs, massaging them gently. "My Baby." He whispers. So quiet you actually miss it. You're too busy melting into his affection. "You're my Baby." He speaks, however lowly.

"Mhm," you moan quietly, blinking up at him, not knowing what exactly he's meaning.

"Say it to me," he says. He pleads. His forehead rests on yours. Eyes growing wet as he uses your eyes as a window into your soul. "Please."

"I'm your baby," you whisper just as gently as he. Nodding against his head lightly. "I'm your baby, Mommy."

He nearly collapses as his shoulders finally relax. His mind flooding with happiness as he hears those words. You're all he's ever wanted. You're all he feels he truly has.

He knew it since the moment he saw you. So delicate, so beautiful and kind. He was overcome with an urge that he can only describe as a mix of pure love and anxiety. He loves you so deeply, how can he ever rest if he doesn't know for certain that your safe and taken care of? So he took matters into his own hands.

He's never felt it before. He knows he'll never feel it again. He will never. Never. Love someone as much as you. As much as his Baby.

You reach up and wipe his tears gently, the tiniest of smiles playing at your lips, "you gonna wash away all the stuff you jus' put on."

He can't help the chuckle that leaves him, leaning into your touch as it leaves a tingle on his skin, "you're right, Baby."

He gently, oh so gently, places a kiss on your lips before your routine resumes.

He leaves you to do your business as he goes to the living room and gathers your pajamas, and when he comes back he finds you all done, rubbing your bottom with a pout. "Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry! I forgot, it must have hurt on the toilet," a pout of his own forms as he crouches and rummages through the cabinet.

"Yeahm," you whine, watching him closely as he grabs a tube.

"Bend over, Baby." That simply sentence almost has you spiraling again before he reaches and rubs your head ever so gently. "It's okay, it's okay. It's numbing cream. Let Mommy put on you and it'll feel better, promise."

You hesitantly bend over the counter slightly, and are relieved to find he's telling the truth. He's barely touching your behind enough spread the cream, his touch is so light. But he manages to apply the treatment without causing you any more harm.

You know that this will be part of your nightly routine again when he sets the tube down with the rest of his products. It mocks you as you look at it. Knowing you'll have to hear those words over and over again until you're healed.

He helps you rid your dress and redresses you in one of his t-shirts before changing into his own pajamas.

As he carries you back to bed, you speak up while fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, "Mommy?"

"Yes, Baby?"

"Can sleep in my tent tonigh'?"

"Oh, Baby, you know I have to hold you to fall asleep. Baby can have a nap in there tomorrow, how about that?"

"No, Mommy too," you look to him with a pout as he closes the bedroom door behind you, "Mommy in the tent." You point to it as if he doesn't know what tent you're referring to, and it makes him laugh how adorable you are when you're so deep in little-space.

"Okay, Baby," he sets you down first and lets you crawl in, watching you with stars in his eyes as you curl up under the blankets and move to make room for him.

His feet poke out of the side even as he's curled spooning you, and he knows the sight is probably ridiculous. But it's very possibly the coziest he's been with you. The tent and the plushies inside of it smell like you. All of the soft blankets have accumulated into a weighted blanket of sorts and keeps you both warm in the cold October air. His chest pressed to your back and your numbed bottom snuggling back into his hips. Your soft, calm breaths luring him into a state of tranquility. He stays just like that, for a long time, it feels like. It almost feels like he's meditating. His soul being cleansed. He can see why you like it here-

Oh. Oh, he's really in here.

It dawns on him as he looks up. What is usually a white ceiling is a pink fabric just a few inches away from his face.

You invited him in.

Ever since he set it up three months ago, you made a strict 'BABY ONLY' policy. And you stuck to that. Not even Jongho, who was admittedly your favorite of his members, was allowed in. They were all confined to the play mat just outside.

But not anymore.

He thought after the pain he had caused, after the outside world had reminded you what he'd done, that your progress would be set back. That he'd back back to square one with a brat. But, you went ahead and proved him opposite.

You proved him that you are and will continue to be,

His Baby.

✿

[twstfanblog]

Little curious, but what’s Yuu’s genuine reaction to Malleus’s overblot and the first part of chapter seven? Like up to the point they’re still in Lilias dream? Like a lot of people said that it’s basically impossible for Malleus to overblot considering how much magic he has, but it’s legitimately supposed to be ACTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE for Idia considering his curse and he did.

But then comes Lilias withdrawl from school, the going away party, Malleus suddenly appearing with Silver, declaring he has a gift, Ortho yelling about an increase in blot, the students trying to fight Malleus and failing, Malleus’s signature spell, and maybe one of the last things Yuu sees before she are put into a magical sleep, is her date mates overblot before Yuu ‘wakes up’ in a dream

It's kind of funny in and out of context, honestly. Yuu basically crashed out during book 6. Like she was ripping panels and wiring out of shit to force open doors in STYX, home girl was NOT OK.

Book 7 is that X10. Literally Malleus overblots and she screams at him that he doesn't get to do this shit. Yuu's unknowingly and knowingly under a lot of mental strain and Malleus's overblot is just another two tons thrown on top of her. I've vaguely alluded to it and talked about it in private chats with mutuals, but my Yuu DOES have the prophetic dreams. She just doesnt remember them, and thats because Yuu is much more mentally aware in the dream scape.

There's story beat reasons for this. Because I also plan on Malleus trying to trap her in her own dream, but she fully rejects it. While Yuu's home life was far from ideal, she knows what her family was like and loved them anyway, anything different could never be accepted. But in an ideal world where everything is perfect and it's literally made for her happiness, the concept of loving but not LIKING your family isn't something Malleus could recreate properly. Yuu is happier in Twist, but she still holds a lot of fears about her situation and misses certain loved ones from her own world. The only way Yuu could have accepted her dream was a complete memory overhaul since her family trauma started basically when she was gaining long-term memory.

From what we see of the dreams, they're pretty standard 'What If' scenarios, and the characters arent really changed other than thinking one or two events went differently.

Yuu and Malleus will have a private chat in the void because Malleus genuinely does not understand why Yuu wouldn't want this perfected version of her family. Nor the false narrative that she always lived in Twist.

But during Lilia's dream, Yuu's just pushed down her own fears and emotions on the topic of Malleus's overblot and wants this to be OVER already. She is very 'Malleus, I love you, and your feelings are valid, but once this is over, I'm going to beat you to death with a laddle.'

[fortemelody]

AHHHSHFBTKFNTLFKGNFMDM SONIC 3 TRAILER SONIC 3 TRAILER SONIC 3 TRAILER IM LOOSING MY SHIT RN

here’s some things i noticed/wondered/loved:

- i think in that scene where tom is on the ground yelling for sonic, he is wearing a special forces suit. maybe he upgraded from cop to working with gun?? if so i think that’s a really good use of his character actually! he wanted to save a life and raise a family above all else yes, but he still got his previous dream of doing more serious cop work!

- shadow just. has a big ass portal?? like holy shit he’s just suckin the life outta earth and ig that’s one way to do it (or maybe it’s just a ring and i’m stupid idek)

- i’m sure we’ll learn more about this in the actual movie so i’m not too worried, but i’m super confused at the very beginning scene. apparently sonic didn’t change his heart…but he did tho? like he learned what being a true hero meant in the last movie. tbh i feel like that’s enough but hey i’m not against more character development for our boy so!! (also that bit where he’s like “in my lungs” was actually really funny to me, ben schwartz’ awesome delivery caught me off guard)

- GERALD ROBOTNIK ALIVE HUUUUH?! tbh i would’ve preferred if maria was alive, i feel like that would be an interesting dynamic. but also ig that would make it harder for shadow to learn anything so i totally get it. anyways i’m just glad they’re putting a little twist on the story, it keeps it interesting. they already sorta did that with the knuckles and iblis thing actually! (even if that show sucked ass and although that probably wasn’t intentional 😭)

- even tho bro only got like… 3 lines, i really think keanu fits shadow. he’s very soft spoken in comparison to the rest of the case which feels nice. also he’s like the “really bad” guy so ofc he’s not gonna be yappin on and on like sonic or robotnik and he’s gonna take things uber seriously.

- where was my girl maddie :( i think she was only in like a singular frame. hope shes in the movie a somewhat significant amount. i heart pretzel lady!! could live without wade tho like pls im so sick of his bowling soap opera 💀

- FAT ROBOTNIK FAT ROBOTNIK FAT ROBOTNIK!!! after fucking 3 movies they finally fulfilled jim carrey’s wishes!! let the man get creative like please i love jim carrey sm aughdfhfnfmschxj. also love how we got so much stobonik content within that short scene like jesus come get y’all’s food

- shadow at one point says something along the lines of “when we’re done, there won’t be anything left.” maybe i’m reading WAY to into this but what does the “we’re” part mean?? is he working with others? i feel like this is either gonna be team dark or some new movie exclusive character(s). edit: someone made a valid point that he’s actually probably referring to gerald (look at reblogs!)

-CHAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey wonder if the room therye in is like an amusement park or somethin like that

- no sign of amy :( but honestly my prediction now is that she’s gonna be the post credit scene teaser cus they always do a new character reveal there. first tails, then shadow. and honestly now i think it might be better that way so shadow can have a chance to breathe and show his story in full. i’m pretty sure i vaguely remember colleen (tails’ VA) being kinda mysterious about amy’s appearance when asked, and also the fact that it was confirmed that this isn’t the end of the movie franchise/universe. but ig we’ll just have to wait and see!

so sorry i stated this yesterday morning to give my initial thoughts but then got busy and completely forgot to post/finish it. and today i started (and am close to finishing) a very long edit of the trailer, so be on the look out for that too!

genuinely i feel like this movie is gonna somehow be even more record breaking than any of the previous movies and i am so here for the hype 🙏

[pseudoquiddity]

Me ruminating on the Stamatins and their religious faith again/their relevance to the Bible. Here goes:

In P2, Peter makes allusions to faith, whereas it's mentioned in the design documents that Andrey is a "staunch atheist." (The Stamatins in P2 seem to be in constant, opposing conflict over things. I wonder how that single-soul candle is working out for them)

But it's pretty clear that Peter isn't religious, per se, he's just desperate - which is something I'd imagine Andrey would take greater issue with than believing in God, but we'll get there. Peter thinks abstractly, not tethered to any real religion, about Heaven and Hell because "it turns out, all this was my hell after all." Peter comes across as someone who desperately wants to escape the torture of his own mind and body and so looks to Heaven as that escape, hence that "Never allow yourself any time to think. That's how you get to Heaven" line. Peter is wracked by a guilt that may be inspired more by suffering than regret. As a man who spontaneously considers suicide, it's safe to assume he doesn't imagine himself living very long. If he can't have oblivion in life through alcohol, he wants it in death, but Hell probably doesn't offer what he wants and now that he's on the maybe-precipice of judgement, he's suddenly contemplating Heaven and realizing he's not done a lot of good deeds.

Sort of the opposite of Raskolnikov's epiphany that religion isn't for scrubbing a person's soul pure and clean, and religion can be epitomized even in sinful people. Peter's grasping for help and doesn't really believe in it.

(Peter also prays when Grace is in danger, and the exchange he has with the Haruspex explains how Peter is using psalms more as a charm than as real faith).

Okay, Andrey? One of the most revealing conversations about his (P1) character is in the Changeling's route, and you have to ignore several Clara responses that are just her saying please stop yelling at me! It's great.

It's already initially interesting that Andrey is angry he and his brother are accused of being faithless. I don't think that Andrey is necessarily saying he is religious, but...

"the greatness of God's design" out of Andrey Stamatin's mouth, can you imagine. He is saying that he might be, that he knows more about God, cares more about God, than Clara does - and that the Polyhedron isn't a revolt against faith. It can grow alongside God, in the same way that we all live with technological progress but many people still keep faith and don't feel it's been disproven. Clara proceeds to stumble back to the Rod and says mama, "Andrey ruined everything."

People riff on Andrey for his hole spiel and that's good, that's deserved, that's drunk philosophy, but this block of yelling is maybe one of the most reasonable and coherent ideas Andrey has that stands (correctly) in the face of Katerina and Clara's views of God. Can you believe it? Andrey has a wonderfully synthesized point of view on religion and how it relates to himself and his actions. He's not the traditional heathen he's made out to be (Katerina isn't completely wrong about the Stamatins, she does accuse them of hurting the Earth).

There's this line in the Marble Nest where your response is a choice. You can make Dankovsky say he either believes or disbelieves in God, and I think a Dankovsky who does believe in God feels just about the same way Andrey does - that progress doesn't mean defiance, that he isn't trying to become God or spit in his face. He's just doing his own thing for the good of the people around him. Curing tuberculosis was once thought impossible and nobody thinks those doctors are heathens now. I wonder if this P1 view will carry over to Andrey in P2/3 or if he's too much of an Italian/Cellini.

[ Slapping my red-string corkboard ] So, JACOB'S LADDER. A man named Jacob in Genesis dreams of a ladder extending from Heaven to Earth. It's been interpreted that each rung is a virtuous step toward Heaven, that Heaven is reachable from Earth with enough dedication toward a more righteous self. Jacob's ladder is sometimes also a staircase.

Peter and Andrey were named after two brothers in the Bible, Simon (later named Peter) and Andrew, the "fishers of men," "Peter, the rock on which I will build my church." Very cool, but lay them aside and think about Jacob and Esau instead.

Jacob and Esau, in Genesis, were twins. Esau was the first-born, who grew up to be a hunter. The name Jacob was given to the second-born because it translates to "he who follows upon the heels of one," "heel-catcher," "restrainer."

In Genesis, Esau gives over his birthright as the eldest to Jacob for a bowl of stew. Later... their father favors Esau and wants to give him God's blessing. Before this happens, Jacob finds out and dresses as his twin in order to trick their blind father into blessing him. This is done successfully and because of this, the youngest brother has prominence over the elder. Their father says to an angry Esau: "By your sword you shall live, but your brother you shall serve; yet it shall be that when you are aggrieved, you may cast off his yoke from upon your neck."

Esau as an individual never "casts off his yoke." He's forfeited his position as the eldest and as someone worthy of special favor. He is often seen as less pious than Jacob, who goes on to have visions, fight an angel and win, and sires a nation.

So, that echos Andrey and Peter... as is obvious, but also in Andrey's statement in P2 that Peter will long outlive this town, including Andrey; "I can kick the bucket, so be it, but my brother must live. He is a genius."

Peter, trying to find some winding way to Heaven through his staircases, as a person who already reflects the Bible in his relationship with his twin brother, a pair of twins who never really make up for what [Peter] took and still takes from [Andrey], and yet simultaneously [Peter] complains of his persecution by [Andrey], a man depicted as a fierce hunter... etc. etc.

[applecoreyearning]

Is just me or does this season feel crazy predictable? I feel like season 1 + 2 each ep I was gagged? Like each episode had me on the edge of my seat. Idk if it’s the overall plot of the season, or the pacing, or the character development? something just feels off. It could also be that I’m watching the show with people for the first time or that it’s the first time i’m just watching it episode by episode.

Things that bug me (also if i’m missing some details i do have the memory of a goldfish)

Other tai just slipping in conveniently when she’s going to shoot coach and she’s NOT asleep - does she just have multiple personality disorder? is the trauma that made it develop from her grandmother passing or the plane crash? they could have put a scene or two of child tai sleepwalking/changing alters as a child, or another instance of other tai coming out in the previous season/or just subtle instances. BC it just seemed like a lazy/easy way to just progress the plot. but again maybe the rest of the season will tie it in better

The time jump is the biggest one. the cabin burning down was such a huge thing and to barely acknowledge that is wild. I also would LOVE to know how they survived the rest of the winter 🙂‍↕️ we have barely seen nat in a leadership role - how did she keep them alive? where did they live? how did they rebuild? once it wasn’t life or death how did they cope? this would have been a great place to start really developing the shauna/nat power struggle.

shauna being unhinged- i love it it’s great for her character and i get why she’s that way… but what happened to her relationship w tai? like yes she was unhinged in the second season but now it feels very shauna and melissa vs the rest of the group. ik she was pretty isolated in the cabin too but it feels worse outside? she has no other meaningful character interactions rn besides small one offs w nat…. also like give melissa more to her character esp if she’s a survivor? all ik about her is she stands behind shauna and yells one liners… like yea they kissed but how is that affecting shauna? is she realizing she was gay for jackie? or is she just dragging melissa along to keep her loyal to her? what’s keeping her tied to her humanity?

WHAT HAPPENED TO CRYSTAL

the yellow filter if it’s not a plot device

also like did they all have the same dream? if they did are they not going to explore that more?

lottie dying? like why what was the point of the shoplifting and coming over to shauna’s? did she know some one was after her? why the 50k?

The adult time line seems disjointed somehow?

them saying it’s getting cold again… where did the time go?

Overall there’s been just a lot of changes w/o context that feel jarring to the plot idk. this was also just a brain dump really! i def am going to rewatch after it all comes out fs 🙂‍↕️ this also isn’t to say i don’t love the show and im so happy we got another season!

[mymindhesmine]

His Favroite Star, The Sun

💌 pairing: Zayne X Reader X Sylus (Love Triangle)

💌author's note:

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to read this, this is my first post here on tumblr! Before starting the post please read this! This is a fanfic in an AU from the Love and Deep Space storyline. Details such as back stories, present events and others will differ from the games story. Please keep that in mind that this fic is not going to follow the plot of the game exactly. Some events will live up and others won't.

Also this js my fic and my writing, if you don’t like how the characters are written or the plot, feel free to exit.

And in this fic, it is a love triangle and reader is not MC from the game. in this fic, reader is a famous idol, as well as Sylus (Sylus is still the leader of Onychinus but in this fic the leader is faceless and unknown and goes by an alias), Zayne however is still a world renowned and highly recognizable cardiac surgeon/ doctor.

As well as this fic will have a music element where I will state the song of the chapter/section. Feel free to listen if you want to. Lyrics will be in italics.

🎼song: 'I Wanna Be Yours' by Arctic Monkeys

🍒tags: mention of previous relationship (Sylus X Reader), F! Reader

Thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoy!

🎀 synopsis: It has been your dream since you were a little girl that you would be a star, an idol, to let the whole world know who you were. But if the world knows who you are, they know everything about you from your work, to what you do personally and your relationships including past and present. The past of being with another famous solo artist Sylus, who is now your ex with the public knowing of the messy relationship and breakup from it. The present of being with a world-renowned cardiac surgeon Zayne. The limelight seems to shine too bright sometimes, and along with it following you, so does your past. Will it catch up to the present?

"Y/N! Please face this way! Smile!"

"Y/N! Do you have a moment for a quick interview?"

"Y/N, say hello to all your fans watching at home!”

Between all the yelling and bright lights flashing in your face, all you could do was smile.

Smile and pose, hands placed on your hips, turning slightly when you deaned it appropriate. Standing for a bit before walking down the carpet further and repeating the steps.

Smile, turn, walk, repeat.

That was until a large camera was pushed in front of you, a woman wearing a long floor length champagne colored gown with a slicked back bun approached with a microphone in her hand and a wide smile on her lips.

"Y/N! It is so lovely to see you tonight at the Golden Star Music Awards! How are you this evening?" The woman said, pointing the large microphone towards you.

"Hi! Good evening! I'm doing amazing, I’m so excited." You greeted to the woman, smiling brightly.

"You look absolutely gorgeous tonight, so beautiful as always." She complimented.

"Thank you, you look so beautiful as well." You complimented.

"What a sweetheart you are! I heard you were nominated for an award at tonight's show, do you think the odds are in your favor?"

"I have no idea, if I did win that would be so amazing but even it I didn't I applaud whoever does. Everyone deserves recognition on a night like this."

"Are you excited for any of the guest performances?"

"I am! I can't wait to see what is in store. I wish them all good luck, I know everyone will do amazing!"

"How sweet! And I see you came alone tonight, are you attending with friends or a plus one?"

"Actually my-"

Before you could finish your answer you felt a hand gently place itself on the small of your back, pulling you closer to a figure slowly. Making you tense up and then look up to see who it was.

"You made it, I didn't even know you were already here." You said smiling, as soon as you saw those familiar and warm green eyes you felt yourself relax.

"I wrapped things up earlier than expected, I just decided to find you instead of waiting inside." A soft voice said, as you felt the hand move from the small of your back to your waist.

"Oh my! Is this your famous doctor boyfriend I've been hearing so much about? two make such a cute couple!" The woman complimented, chuckling as you smile and nodded.

"Yes, he's-“

"Seriously, I think you two are perfect for one another. Obviously better than the last one right?" The woman said, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she chuckled and shoved the microphone closer to you.

"I-I um, I don’t-" You stutter to say, your hand gripping tightly at the skirt of your dress.

"I heard he's also attending tonight's show, do you think he'll…"

'It's one of those gossip reporters wanting to get more details in my life to sell an article or something.' You thought to yourself as you drowned out the rest of her conversation, you could feel you face growing hot and your hands becoming clammy with embarrassment.

"We should be heading inside and finding our seats soon, the show will be starting soon." You heard his voice respond rather strictly and coldly, making you look to him.

"I understand totally, I just wanted to ask since so many people have been curious.it was nice to meet you-"

"Let’s go before the show starts without us, it was nice meeting you as well." He said, taking your free hand in his own and walking off with you.

"Bye Y/N! Enjoy the show, hope to catch you after-" The woman said, but you had already drowned her out as your attention was faced to his broad back as he guided you down the carpet and to the entrance of the venue.

"Are you all right?" He questioned, his voice ringing with concern and worry as he watered your features.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." You managed to stutter out, not wanting to cause commotion with so many people around still.

"Some people just don't know how to respect others, regardless of status or attention. She shouldn't have asked such inappropriate questions." He stated, as you nodded in agreement and exhaling a long breath.

"Look at me." You heard him say softly, making you look up to meet his warm green eyes.

"If you don't want to stay longer or don't feel comfortable, we can leave. You tell me."He said softy, as you shook you head.

"I think I’m okay, thank you." You said, as he eyed you a bit.

"Even if you feel fine now, you tell me if anything changes. All right?" He said, and you nodded.

"I will. Thank you Zayne.”

You got inside the venue with no issues and were guided to your table by a staff member. Zayne had pulled out your chair, and you sat down as you thanked him. He sat down next to you as the staff around served water glasses to the both of you.

"Are you looking forward to the show?" He asked, as you sipped at your glass.

"I'm excited to see the performances, but I'm more nervous for the awards." You admitted.

"You were nominated for a few of the categories, no?" Zayne asked, as you nodded.

"Mhm, that's why I'm a bit nervous. I didn't really prepare before hand. It’s just a little nerve wrecking not knowing." You admitted, and he nodded understanding.

"But maybe I won't win, and that's okay too! I just hope if they do that they're more prepared than me." You chuckled.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. As the show is about to start." A loud voice boomed through the venue and the other guests started bustling to their tables.

As the noise died down, and the lights on the stage shone brightly on the host you and Zayne made small banter.

"Welcome to this years Golden Star Music Award Show, I will your honest for the evening. Who is ready to win some awards and watch some amazing performances?!" The host announced, making the other guests cheer in response.

The show went on as typical from what you expect, guest artists performing their latest and most popular hits with dancers and over the top visuals, awards being handed out with heart filled speeches and tears, all with you and Zayne bantering and basking in each others presence without a care in the world.

"Our next performance is from an artist who we all love for his sultry sound and unforgettable voice. Appealing to the masses with his dark image so far that his latest album sold tens of thousands of copies within the first week, made it number one on the charts and is nominated for awards in multiple categories at tonight's show. Please give a warm and inviting welcome to Sylus!"

The audience cheered loudly as the spotlight shifted to the center of the stage, you could see Zayne shift from your side slightly and you turned to him and smiled before looking back to the stage.

The lights surrounding the venue darkened, as solem tempo music started playing. You recognized the song all too well, it was on the radio on repeat so much and you did like it.

You saw the figure on stage, a band behind him as the spotlight shone bright and cameras panning across and showing his face on large screens to the audience who weren’t close enough to the stage. You had to admit he did have a nice voice, you’ve heard his previous work in the past and you did like it.

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

Breathing in your dust

I wanna be your Ford Cortina

I will never rust

You could see people slowly swaying in their seats, mouthing to the lyrics. You felt a soft brush against your hand as you looked to see Zayne interlacing his fingers with yours. It made you blush slightly at the small physical contact, and you quickly looked back to the performance.

If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

You call the shots babe

I just wanna be yours

A spotlight that was hung over the audience shown, carefully dancing across the guests until it slowed and rested its attention on you and your seat. You flinched slightly at the brightness, making you look away and resting your sight on one of the large screens. Maybe it was the camera angle on the stage but with how it was positioned, it was like he was staring straight at you.

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

Wanna be yours

You looked back at Zayne and although he was looking disinterested you could see how white his knuckles in his free hand look, balled into a fist. You carefully ran your thumb over his knuckles in your hand, seeing his tightened fist relax and his stance less tense. He looked to you and you gave him a soft reassuring smile.

You both knew what was going on.

He was playing games.

The show went on like clockwork, awards and performances continued and you waited with bated breath for the next awards announced.

"Now for the award for 'Best New Rising Star, with several amazing nominees. The winner for last years award will be announcing the winner." The host said, as the audience clapped.

"Please welcome back Sylus to the stage!" The host exclaimed, as more cheering and clapping ensued.

You could see the familiar figure nod to the host, taking the microphone they held along with the award. Once done they turned to face the audience at the stage.

"It is my honor to be able to give this award to the nominee who most certainly deserves it. "The winner of this year’s Best New Rising Star Award is…" He started, you bit your lip with anticipation.

The silence was slowly killing you, you just wanted this done and over with. You could feel your grasp in Zayne"s hand tighten and you tried to not chew your lip off.

"Y/N L/N." He said slowly, as the audience started clapping and cheering.

You face froze in shock for a moment, as you looked to Zayne who stood up from his seat and guided you to stand. You smiled and hugged him tightly, feeling tears threatening to spill as he whispered in your embrace.

“Congratulations." He said, as you let go of him reluctantly.

You wanted him to come to the stage with you but you knew it wasn’t the best option for now, instead one of the guests would help you up to the steps as you made your way up before getting on the stage alone.

As on cue, one or the guests who was often seen accompanying winners onto the stage held their arm out for you to take and you did so. Hearing cheers and whistling as you smiled and waved to the crowd, the cameras panning and following you as you made your way to the steps of the stage.

You thanked the kind guest before adjusting your dress and walking across the stage, hugging the host before they walked off to the far side of the stage.

Leaving you alone with all eyes on you, with Sylus.

"When I met Y/N, it was as if it was never meant to happen. Just a coincidental meeting that sooner became the start of a beautiful connection, as if faith knew it was destiny for us to meet. Only for years later I would be the one on this stage presenting her this award for the world to see." He started the speech, the crowd cheering and clapping as you did as well.

"From the first moment we met I knew I was in the presence the most talented person I would get the pleasure to know. When it comes to music, she has dominated the industry with hit pieces without failure. When it comes to personality she has always demonstrated kindness from the bottom of her heart. And when it comes to determination and work ethic, her work is never underestimated or undermined."

"Even with all these awards, music, recognition and status of being an artist, what counts is the person who put their heart into what they value. She succeeds it by not changing or letting herself be pressured into doing so. She has been able to accomplish so much while not letting the pressure change her into something she isn’t. Even if the times has changed along with many others things, she is still the same girl I met all those years ago."

"She is someone I respected highly, whom I hold so much pride and admiration to. Who I’m proud to say I know, proud to say I’ve looked up to and proud to say I love with my chest and won’t ever stop loving."

You felt your chest tighten, your hands become clammy as the crowd only got louder at the statement.

"I’m proud to present this award to her as she deserves it more than anyone in this world, ladies and gentlemen the winner of the Best Rising Star Award, Y/N." Sylus finished, turning to you as the crowd continued to cheer and all you could do was stand in shock.

Standing there as if caught in the act, surprise and fear etched into your face as everyone was looking at you. You could see the edge of a smirk resting on his lips from your peripheral vision, as you slowly got over the anger and nerves. Approaching him with your hands out, a tight smile on your face as you accepted the trophy from him.

His hand lingered as you grasped the award, before letting it go slowly and you approached the microphone on the stand.

"I want to thank everyone here tonight for the opportunity of receiving this award, this is such an honor to be nominated and win this so thank you again." You started, as the crowd cheered and you could see him sits, smirking from your side.

"Thank you to everyone who has even given me the chance to make this dream come true. From my team to my family, writers, producers, friends, colleagues, and the people closest to me that I love and hold dear to me thank you for all the support and love you have shown me. I hope to keep amazing everyone with all my work and hope you can see me continue to grow not only as an artist but as a person too. Thank you again, I love you all." You finished, waving as you held the award up again before quickly rushing to the stairs you came from.

You could hear footsteps follow you and already knowing who it was, holding onto the railing to make sure you didn’t fall. You looked to see Zayne at the bottom of the staircase waiting for you and you smiled in relief.

"Here, let me-"

"I’ve got it, thank you." You responded quickly, holding onto the railing and going down a few steps before reaching out to the outstretched hand before you.

Taking Zayne's hand once in reach and having him help you down to the ground level, clutching the award. Once you were stable, you looked at him and with the look that he gave you in return you could tell he wasn’t happy but more concerned than anything.

"I wanna go home."

💌 author's note:

Hello! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed, if you liked it please let me know! I hope to be posting soon!

[pocketgalaxies]

So, having finished the episode, thoughts???

ugh. SO GOOD. everything i was hoping for and more!! marisha was so so fucking incredible and stunning obviously. and matt did such a great job (as he always does) portraying a troubling parental figure, with all of their complicated love and selfishness and failures

the thing is. having an emotionally unavailable parent is such a common struggle, even if it takes on wildly different shapes and sizes for each person, and there are parts of the ep that i feel tied to in vague or inexplicable ways too. which makes my feelings harder to put into words and actually analyze in this moment lmfao

but ofc marisha did so many things that just made me ache. "that was a good fucking idea to handle a situation with a daughter that was clearly just wanting your fucking attention" and "i thought a dad was supposed to stay by their kid when they're having a fucking hard time" say SO MUCH about what beau's struggle was always rooted in. a girl who just wanted her parents to look at her and actually see her for once in their fucking lives, and making them proud was nothing but a guilty pleasure pipe dream. little eye rolls and head shakes when they both fall back into their shitty clueless habits because they will never fucking get it, even when she shows up at their doorstep drenched in rain and spits it in their faces. and "maybe i'm the one that's sent to humble you." because if i'm to be defined by the words of some random woman in the woods and not by my actions or my words or my efforts, then maybe they will also explain why you seem incapable of loving me.

other marisha things that hurt me include: trying not to listen when they were at the evening nip and nott and cad are telling jester "of course your dad loves you – what's there not to love?" still making sure to yell "mom! i'm going, mom." before leaving so she doesn't leave without saying bye. the waterworks as soon as TJ hugged her. OBVIOUSLY "well some things never change, do they, dad?" so many more. ugh marisha is so fucking good.

anyway at the end of the day, it honestly doesn't really matter how much your parents love you if they never fucking do anything about it. and it was neat to see m9 recognize that these people do love their daughter and perhaps they can do better by her in the future, but also recognize that their actions have made beau feel almost irreparably unlovable in her own home. and really interesting to see jester say "it's not worth it to carry this poison in you" while yasha says "maybe it's worth it to destroy this place, if it'll show you what you destroyed to get it." such an interesting contrast in reactions that says so much about these two characters too! WHAT A FUCKING GOOD EPISODEEEEEEE.

[oktopiasscarletqueen]

Neurotic Erotic (Bloodweave Fic) playlist

Alright, so, heres the playlist I made for the fic and unreasonable analysis I made relating the songs to Gale and Astarion.

I know writing all this is a touch cringe, but I’m at peace with that; BG3 is a special interest of mine, and so is musical/literary analysis. That being said, I’m not trying to write any kind of groundbreaking, profound interpretations here. Moreso, I’m yelling my funny words at you because I like to yap. And, sometimes this is what me and my little sister do for fun; J and I put on music and go, “ [insert character would like this sound in a Modern AU” or, “this song is incredibly [insert character]-core because…”

Before you jump in, I’m gonna warn you, the transition between ‘Francis Forever’ and ‘Cancer’ (track 6 & 7 respectively) is a touch jarring, as is the inclusion of ‘Cancer’ in the middle of the playlist  in general, lol. Second, I’ll warn you this list is bound to get updated here and there eventually. Also, I may update/add to these in future.

I have put the songs “in order”, or as best “order” as my brain can think of right now.

Oh, and of course, spoilers ahead for essentially the whole game.

Fic Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56262295/chapters/142934368

Youtube Link: https://www.youtube.com/@Oktopiasscarletqueen/playlists

Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3BIufG9W5783HUh3OvDboD?si=675313ddfbbe4664

Song list, and correlation (with my interpretation and justification, if that interest you at all, lol):

INTRODUCTION:

¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic) – Everything is a Lot by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

This song is about being obsessed with death, or the idea of dying; Theres something very Gale & Astarion about it (one being asked to die and the other literally being dead). Astarion being dead is a sort of representation (within this fic) of Gale’s later focus and near idolisation of dying, which really reminds me of the song. It’s title and the general idea behind it inspired me to write this fic. Mostly the title, its catchy and interpretive whether you know the song or not.

2. Maya the Psychic – Hesitant Alien by Gerard Way

So, y’know the tadpoles, right?

3. Starman – The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders from Mars (2012 Remaster) by David Bowie

So, y’know the “Dream Guardian”, right?

GALE:

4. Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine) – Everything is a Lot by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

Early game, Gale’s caught up on Mystra, and that’s an objective fact.  That’s what this song is in relation to him. Wishing to have her back, or at least her grace and favour. Like, imagine being cast aside by a god. A god who was your previous lover and kinda decides your fate.

5. First Love/Late Spring – Bury Me at Makeout Creek by Mitski

More Gale “pining” songs (you’re gonna see a lot of this). In the case of this one, the song is a sort of ‘love, life and duty is painful’. After the Mystra heartbreak, I can imagine Gale’s not exactly keen on letting anyone in else they abandon him again (Gale has a big ego, but he feels he’s not enough—he’s scared he’s not enough). Also, a few lines stick out for interpretation in regards to Gale. ‘One word from you and I would jump of this cliff I’m on, baby’ is very fitting for Mystra being like “lmao, kys” and how Gale is fully ready to do that as a show of faith. Another line that I wanna note, ‘And I was so young when I behaved 25…’ reminds me of not only Gale’s early magical prowess, but the fact  Gale being only 8 when he met Mystra for the first time; Gale had big shoes to fill, extremely high expectations to live up to and also an omnipotent, ever-present god leaning over his shoulder. This is where I’m gonna put a link to this Tumblr post because the OP does a fantastic job at dissecting all that (TW: mentions of grooming): https://www.tumblr.com/kirain/739521230081851392/i-want-to-take-a-moment-to-talk-about-gales

6. Francis Forever - Bury Me at Makeout Creek by Mitski

Kinda similar to above, but more “romantic” in a really twisted way. Gale really did love Mystra, I think; In the case of this song, it’s less about him as a character but more his past feelings and the grief there (obviously this isn’t what the songs exactly about, but we’re running on interpreting them into fictional characters, so… lol.

7. Cancer – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

So, y’know the Nether Brain fight and Gale’s Orb, right?

8. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Remastered) by Elton John

Acceptance and a return to the “average”. If you don’t let him ascend, Gale has the option to just live life at his own pace, and for me that’s his canon ending. My boy deserves a rest, and this song just remind me of that.

BLOODWEAVE (songs that just scream them)

9. Cannibal Queen – Tell It to the Volcano by Miniature Tigers

I just feel like the lyrics suit Gale’s feeling for Astarion in a really  fun way, idk man. It’s just weirdly them-core.

10. Baby You’re a Haunted House – Single (no album) by Gerard Way

Another ‘Gale to Astarion’ song. ‘…you’re a haunted house’ as a lyric reads as someone who has a lot of metaphorical ghosts in them (closet full of skeletons). Shout-out to the versus: ‘In the dark, we dance together…’  ‘In the dark we laugh together, because the misery’s funny to you’ ‘Sometimes you scare me, but I’ll come around to you… And I’ll find a way to scare you too’.

That’s just them (you’ll hear this from this section a lot).

11.  Red Moon – Everything is a Lot by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

First and foremost, this song is SO underappreciated (as is the album). It’s one of my favourites. This so in particular just sounds like the embodiment of Bloodweave. I take a lot of inspiration from this song when it comes to Neurotic Erotic (the fic). This song analysis would be paragraphs upon paragraphs long, so I’ll sum this up as simply as I can:

- Astarion is kinda ethereal looking (moon-elf-core) - Gales heart go doki-doki later in fic (referring to the 5th verse: 'Waxing to the rhythm writhing my chest’) - Gale and Astarion are drawn together by circumstance - They remain in each others orbit regardless of circumstance - Night is their time

Theres so much more, but I’ll leave some of the linking to you, lol

12. The Rhumba of Death – Camp Here & There: Campfire Songs Edition by Will Wood

*see to every other comment in this section*

13. We’ll Never have Sex - Single (no album) by Leith Ross

I think it’s not necessarily an argument that Astarion has issues around intimacy, particularly sexual intimacy. That’s what this is; this is why the song is here.

TRANSITION (A heads up to Astarion Territory, lol. Plus, I just like the song :P)

14. Interlude – Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance

Every playlist needs a good intermission, and this one has an Astarion-vibe to it. Serves as a good heads-up for whats to come and as a cool down from the previous song instead of just jumping right into a different tone. Plus, I’ve not gotten over my emo days, so…

ASTARION

15. The End – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

The end. The end of Astarions mortal life, the end of being under Cazador’s thumb while tadpoled.

16. Dead! – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

You can’t put ‘The End.’ without ‘Dead!’ and vice-versa. But, the lyrics do speak to me in encapsulating some surface-level Astarion plot, especially when it comes to his mortal, Magistrate days. Did Astarion get what he deserved? (referring to the versus: ‘I’ll be here waiting, babe; Did you get what you deserve?’). The BG3 artbook tells us Astarion was a corrupt magistrate, so this feel fitting. It’s speculative, but I think Astarion wasn’t too popular when he was alive, lol.

17. The Sharpest Lives – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

‘I’ve really been on a bender and it shows’Astarion doesn’t have the best coping mechanisms and skills, and this song is that. Plus, it’s another vampire-related song so it fits in well. And the lines below feel like they were written for him (y’know what I mean?): ‘You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow, Juilet loves the beat, and the lust it commands, Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo’

18. Brand New City - Lush by Mitski

I feel like Astarion has a lot of issues around control, like specifically in regard to needing to be in control in some small way. He’s emotionally withering away with his destructive ways, but it’s the only way he knows how to grasp onto some semblance of control over his life. ‘I think my ways are wearing me down, But if I gave up on being pretty, I wouldn’t know how to be alive,’

19.  The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You – Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance

This song is about Gerard Ways substance abuse and struggles with it, his addiction personified as a woman. In a similar vein, I’m using this song as a representation of Astarion’s own addiction (or obsession) to power and revenge. Its fuelling him, but its also slowly him a dark, toxic (and even dangerous) path.

20. Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! – SELF-iSH by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

Another case of a song about self-destructive behaviours that just really fits Astarions own trauma and his response to it. Will Wood is a genius lyricist, don’t @ me, and this is a prime example of his work capturing addiction and other self-destructive behaviours, feeling powerless in stopping/not being able to stop, even though you could (with a lot of effort of therapy, mind you).

21. Kill All Your Friends – Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

The opening lines capture more Astarion plot:  ‘Well, you can hide a lot about yourself, But honey, what’re you gonna do?’ Mainly, this song just feels like it fits him, especially with ‘I was killing before killing was cool,’.

22. Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!) – The Normal Album by Will Wood

Another vampire song, so naturally its here. A number of the lines in this song feel like inner turmoil within Astarion, but I can’t just copy paste the whole thing here, lol. Side note, this song has been in my private Astarion playlist for the past 2-ish years and I’ve always been like, ‘man, I wish I had the time to make an animatic to this (or Hand Me My Shovel) for Astarion’, and recently I stumbled upon an Astarion animatic someone made to this song and was SO SHOOK. So, I’m going to link it, because its fantastic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWKObQgHaGg

23. Your Body, My Temple - Camp Here & There: Campfire Songs Edition by Will Wood

POV: Astarion’s manipulating you.

24. Vampire Reference in a Minor Key – “In case I make it,” by Will Wood

Very Astarion-core song, but specifically in regards to his softer side (in the case of this fic, his feelings down the line for Gale). Obviously the vampire song is gonna remind me of the twink vampire.

25. The Chain (2004 Remaster) – Rumours by Fleetwood Mac

So, y’know Cazador and Astarions “siblings”, right?

26. Against the Kitchen Floor – “In case I make it,” by Will Wood

So, yknow the confession Astarion has in act 2, right? My canon ending for Astarion is him healing, finally. He’s a spawn, yes, but he’s making the most of that his immortal life as he can. I’ll say it again, Will Wood is a GENUIS and (most definitely because it comes from his own experiences) he captures the process of healing but not being fully there in this song. In relation to Astarion, this is him trying—genuinely trying to be better and work out what he’s going through. He’s not there, he won’t be for a long time, but he’s willing to try. Trying is the first step.

[jarofstyles]

Beauty and the Beast - Nightshade

The moment you've been waiting for, the answers are here :) sorry this took a literal year (and then some)

Check out our Patreon for early access and exclusive content!

wc: 6.3k

warnings: not many warnings in this one, just a reference to character's death

---------------------------------

This wasn’t his plan.

Harry never wanted her to see this room. At least, not yet. This was… an escape from his past. One he was slowly starting to try and move on from now that he and his love had finally expressed emotions and been able to give each other the proper reactions… but no.

He had never forbidden her from it, so he couldn’t really be angry. It did flare up in him, mainly because he was scared. Terrified of these memories and his past making her want to leave and forget him because he had held on to it for so long, but nothing was making sense lately. Not a single thing.

The only thing that made sense was how good it felt to hold her. Kiss her. Fuck her. She was what he wanted, and his head had never felt more clear in terms of what he wanted.

Her.

Finding her in the room, shaking like a leaf, he was terrified that she was going to leave. She wasn’t as sneaky as she would like to believe.

He had arrived earlier than he’d planned and as if he had a 7th sense, he heard her leave the bed. The moment she opened this door, however, he sprinted up the stairs.

It seemed… off. To see her in this room. Like it was a long time coming and yet, still a kick in the face. It obviously affected her, and he wasn’t sure how.

“My love?” He approached cautiously, not sure how to handle this fully. Did he touch her? Knock her out of it with his words? Why was she staring into the mirror in such a daze? And why was she shaking? “Beloved… what is wrong?” The rasp of his voice echoed in the large room.

“Do you know her?” Y/N asked, her voice calm despite how her blood ran cold with fear. She was in a daze and everything felt slow. It almost didn’t feel real.

Her eyes were still locked on the figure in the mirror, analyzing each feature as if her life depended on it. Millions of thoughts rushed through her head, meadows and laughter, images of sharing a loaf of fresh bread in secret, swimming in lakes… her focus blurred for a moment, thoughts became memories and her head snapped from the mirror to look at him.

“She…” his voice paused as he tried to word it the right way. She wasn’t yelling yet, which was a decent sign but he also knew he wasn’t out of the woods yet.

He completely would understand her anger at him for having a room full of a woman that wasn’t her, but he was going to take it down. Move on, because he had her… it just happened so quickly. He had hundreds of years to dwell on the past and only a few months in the future.

“She was why I had believed… that I was going to die.” He cleared his throat. “That was who I believed to be my beloved… and she was taken from me, years ago. I loved her very much. Usually, you die when your beloved does.” The voice in his throat felt rough, still not an easy topic to approach. Let alone to his new lover.

“So I thought… I was slowly losing it. And we lose ourselves to madness eventually, when our beloved are killed. However… all of the madness seems to be gone for me.” He was still confused on how that happened. He could have sworn that she was. But seeing Y/N standing in front of him now… he wasn’t sure at all.

The connection they had felt incredible.

“I’m sorry I’ve kept the things so long. I know it must be difficult to look at.”

“I’ve been seeing her in my dreams for months, Harry…” Y/N spoke, still too startled to express any emotion. “She practically lives in my brain.” She shook her head.

It was an odd feeling. Nothing Y/N could ever explain in words. He had loved her… truly enough to think she was the one. This woman who had been living in the shadows of her mind for months.

It seemed like she was the one going insane, not Harry.

“I’ve seen her at least once every week since I moved here… I feel like she has my eyes— don’t you think?” She asked timidly, swallowing the dryness in her throat to try and make sense of this. “Do you see her in me? Is that how I got here?”

Harry felt his already cold body freeze over.

Months?

“And you haven’t… you haven’t been in here at all?” He questioned wearily. When she shook her head, he swallowed.

Christ.

The vampire was positive there were no other hints of her around the house. This room was the one he came in when he wanted to think about her. It was how he kept sane for a good while. But the idea that she had constantly been seeing her… it startled him.

“I… I never really thought about comparing you to her.” The cool hands cupped her warm face, taking a look. Though, now looking at her… there were some uncanny similarities. The eyes. The lips. He knew them.. for far longer than he had known Y/N. “You are different. In most ways. I never thought of her in you, if that’s what you’re asking. You’re.. a very different person but you share some things. Some phrases… mannerisms. But I never put you both in a mirror.”

He liked her all on his own.

“I don’t know how this is possible.” He tilted her head up and stroked her heated cheek with his thumb, trying to wrack his mind over how it could happen. “Is she…  what happens in your dreams, love?” His voice softens immensely, trying to coax out more of her thoughts.

“She doesn’t hurt me or scare me,” Y/N spoke, lips more in a pout now that he was holding her face. “She just… she knows something I don’t and she’s trying to tell me,” Y/N explained and closed her eyes. She needed to ground herself.

Knowing Harry had never compared them brought her a lot of peace. That still didn’t change the fact that it felt like looking into a mirror.

“You spent lots of time with her outside…” Y/N spoke quietly, humming with her eyes still closed. “You would pick her flowers… you swam… she really loved you.”

If it was possible, he knew his heart would stop.

“How do you know that?” He asked, considering just how she knew his antics. How she was aware of the fact that they’d pick flowers and swim and kiss in the sunlight. When he would risk it all to be outside with her because the sunshine made her happy and warm.

“She’s trying to talk to you?” And she wasn’t trying to rip Y/N to pieces? That was unusual for her. Possessiveness was a main personality trait for her and he didn’t mind it at all, but he was curious as to how the hell she didn’t seem to mind if she was inside of her head.

“What is she trying to say, angel?” He placed his forehead on hers. “Hm? Is she just telling you what we used to do?” That would be incredibly peculiar. How was she even communicating with her at all? And how was a human capable of receiving those sorts of messages?

If he didn’t know better, Harry would have assumed she would read his journals. But he knew where she was at all times, and never had the girl ventured into this room or opened a book that didn’t belong to her.

“You went somewhere earlier…” She decided to skip over his comment, choosing rather to focus on how the hell she was recalling this information. “When I woke up Ida said you’d be out for longer—”

The thoughts in her mind seemed to relax and she was able to open her eyes and look at him again.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Y/N searched his eyes for something to hold on to, she felt like she could give him more answers if he was fully transparent with her.

“No more secrets.”

The man took a breath, closing his eyes this time as he tried to figure out just how to explain this part to her.

“Okay. No more secrets.”

His hand took hers and led her towards the velvet green couch, sitting her down on it and sitting far too close next to her. Clasping her smaller hands in his own, he took a moment to compose himself.

“I went to see if I could find the contact information for a witch. Someone who knows far more about the soul-bonding process and could explain to me what had happened, why I was feeling the way I was…” he paused, throat drying slightly as he squeezed her hands. “Why I feel the way I do when I thought we only have one chance at love.”

His green eyes met hers, showing that he genuinely was confused but he cared. He cared for her so much, he loved her. It shouldn’t be possible, but Harry knew what he was feeling.

“You know… I thought maybe I was actually dying. And I wanted to spare you from it. But when I woke up, I knew I had to dig for answers. I couldn’t just allow you to suffer along with me as we had gotten attached. So I went to a frequent spot for the… otherworldly.” He chuckled lightly at the words he used. There probably were better ones, but it would make the most sense to her.

“When she died… I felt myself mourn. I was in so much grief and pain and anger... I've never physically hurt that badly before and yet…” He licked his dark pink lower lip, eyes searching hers. Recognizing bits of them. Now that he was thinking about the connection… It was true.

“I never felt the snap. I never felt… like I was going to die. That's what I’ve always been told. For soul bonds to break, for one of us to have died, the other should have felt the severing. And I never did.”

“Did you meet the witch?” Y/N asked as if that was a normal question for a human to ask a vampire. It seemed like for the time being Y/N wasn’t entirely there at the minute.

She tilted her head and waited for his answer, eyes taking in every bit of his appearance. Y/N had a feeling that he knew something that would make sense of the messages in her head. The feelings she was feeling as her own.

“I… Didn’t.” He grumbled, letting his eyes fall again. Another area where he had failed her. Truly, he wanted to be good to her. He wanted to give her the best and he couldn’t even figure out why he had gone crazy.

“I put in an inquiry. They’re busy people and while I may have a lot of pull in this world, they’re the ones with the answers. I was told I’d have someone show up to give me some, but I didn’t want to pour my story out to a witch that wasn’t going to help.”

He let himself relax slightly as she didn’t seem to get angry at him now. She just looked like she wanted answers… answers that were very valid. He knew he had been a bit of a dick for not giving them to her right away. He should have been transparent but… how?

It was difficult, usually, to work humans into this world. It was actually a bit… strange how well adapted she was.

-500 years prior-

The worst day of Harry’s life had started just like any other.

Summer was quickly coming to a close and while he himself didn’t mind the shift to cooler temperatures and shorter days, his beloved seemed to mourn the summer. Celeste believed that there was nothing that would ever compare to the feeling of dunking yourself into the lake on a warm day. She believed that there was nothing that brought her more tranquillity than gazing up at the stars while the warm humid air hugged her skin. Even when bug bites adorned her legs Summer reminded her that she was still human.

“My darling, wake up. We have to go.” The familiar sleepy voice of her lover woke Celeste from her slumber. With a firm yet gentle shake, she allowed her eyes to flutter open and adjust to the darkness of their cottage. “Please, we haven’t much time.”

The sound of footsteps quickly approaching from outside left Harry in a panic, but he couldn’t let her see. And while he felt Celeste was blissfully unaware of the fate that awaited her, the look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

Celeste never thought her worst nightmare would actually come true. She had spent years protecting her home and the land around it. Her enchantments attracted nothing but positive light and all those who crossed her path were destined to meet her. All the animals knew they were welcome and always rewarded her for her efforts to enrich their earth. Celeste had spent her whole life here in the forest, only venturing into town when she urgently needed something. It wasn’t safe for witches in town, the common folk were terrified of magic and the creatures and spirits that fed off of them, but it was the job of her and her sisters to keep the city safe from any harm in secrecy.

She had met Harry by chance, she remembered the day so vividly. She stumbled upon him on her way home– She remembered the dazed look in his eyes and the blood on his collar. He looked so ashamed, crying against the back wall of the local bakery. Never had Celeste seen a vampire show so much remorse after feeding, but then again she hadn’t seen many vampires with her own eyes, to begin with. The Vampires upheld their deal of peace and ethics, as long as the witches protected them from the hunters.

The very hunters who were now trying to take her love away from her.

They’d been so careful. She knew that the safest place for Harry to be was with her. But it seemed that even her powers weren’t enough to overcome the evil that possessed humankind. The universe would always find its balance somehow, even in the cruelest of ways.

“Harry, they cannot know– I should not follow you, I fear they will question why I am not in my home at this hour should they find I am not here…” Celeste whispered, motioning down towards the tunnel in her cellar. They had talked about this plan before, but Celeste always knew she could never convince him to go on his own. So she never told him that part of the plan.

“My love, I refuse to leave you here alone–” A shout from the outside left his words to die in his throat. Harry shook his head, taking her wrist and pulling her with him without another word. Harry was cautious. Though he was aware that these men were after him and not his beloved, he couldn’t bring himself to trust those who have brought his kind nothing but shame and suffering. The hunters were everything but fair and if they had any reason to believe she was living with a fugitive, he knew she would be as good as dead.

He had dreams of them running away and rebuilding a home elsewhere, somewhere they could be truly safe. There were vampires who lived in the north who had mastered the art of camouflage. Rumors spread like wildfire saying they were mated and bonded, that they lived with humans who let them feed in a mutual exchange. Maybe it was wishful thinking on his part, but Harry would give up anything if it meant he could have the life he dreamed of with her. He just needed her there with him.

“My love, they shall not bring me any harm. The tunnel, it will bring you to the lake, you know your way from there. I promise I will find you once they see there is nothing for them to find here.” Celeste’s voice was soft as she reached to smooth the worry away from his brow. “Such a worry wort.” She giggled though she knew her fate was much to worry about. There could only be one reason the hunters would be suspicious of her. If her enchantments broke, it meant the fates had decided it was their time. Celeste, however, would never give him up, she knew he would wait for her forever. No, she could and would not let them find him.

Harry’s head turned quickly as he saw an orange glow begin to creep through the windows. He chose to be selfish in the little time he had left, pressing a kiss so full of love and longing that he hoped that it would somehow change her mind. The way her lips melded over his with a hunger she only saved for their most intimate moments, he swore they would be etched in his mind forever. He knew she wouldn’t let up.

“You must find me.” Harry breathed, his words a command as he pressed another desperate kiss to her lips. “My love, you are the only thing worth living for.” He hesitated, not wanting to leave this precious moment in fear that it would be their last.

With each second, he could hear the footsteps growing closer and closer, his eyes memorizing her form till he couldn’t anymore. A final stolen kiss was all he left for her as he disappeared into the cellar and ran like hell.

He shouldn’t have left her there, he knew that now.

In a sick and twisted way, he thanked the gods for sparing him the piercing sounds of her screams as she begged for mercy, for when he returned, the bloodied sight left him feeling hollow. She put up a fight, the way he always knew she would,  but it seemed that the hunters came with no remorse. How could they claim that they were ridding the town of evil when they had done such cruel and horrible things to the purest creature he had ever known?

“It should have been me.” He thought, swallowing down thick tears, but as he looked around he realized that this evil would not have stopped at him.

-end of flashback-

He hadn’t taken the death of Celeste well.

He had avenged her the best he could. Ripped the hearts out of every single person he could trace to her death, letting them die the way he felt every day without her. It felt like he had little to no emotion, feeling only pain when he woke up.

It continued like that for years until he became comfortably numb. Still questioning why and how. Living without her was worse than any death, worse than anything he had ever could have imagined. But there was always this little light that never fully smothered. Her voice in the back of his mind saying she would find him again. His own recurring dreams that he figured were just a comfort to his psyche. The hope.

Once he met Y/N though? It had gone away. Completely. No more dreams. Almost any yearning was gone. He felt like a patch had been placed on the gaping wound and it had made him feel very, very guilty at first until he realized that maybe she would want him to be happy.

Y/N was so familiar. Like a piece of him in her that had stolen his breath when she had walked into the estate. Sure, she resembled Celeste more than some others did but she was her own person. He had fallen for her knowing that.

Y/N’s thoughts were running wild in her mind, attempting to connect the pieces of the story that she herself didn’t know. The longer she looked around the room the calmer came over her body where normally she’d expect rage and sorrow. Another woman adorned his walls, but Harry was only really focusing on her.

“Y/N tell me what you’re thinking of. I wish you would have told me about these dreams sooner, but there isn’t much we can do now except wait for–” Harry’s sentence was cut off by a knock on the door.

“Sir, someone is here to see you–” Ida began her introduction, but the woman behind her seemed to feel right at home.

“Oh goodness!” The woman exclaimed, stopping to take a look around the room. She didn’t look to be that old, but her spirit was far older than Harry and Y/N both. “I had a feeling you’d honor my sister, but with such commitment? I see the fates wanted some entertainment. Bless your no longer beating heart.” She smiled, placing a hand over her heart before approaching the two. “My dear, how are you finding your new body? It’s good to see you again. I’ve been awaiting your call.”

“What?” Y/N blinked at the woman, cocking her head as she tried to figure out why she looked so familiar. How did she know her? Where did she know her from?

Oh god.

This was not the way he wanted it to go- nor did he fully understand what exactly was happening. His brows furrowed, tucking Y/N into his body in slight protection as he stood up straighter, keeping a hand on her. As if she would slip away.

“Harry? What is she talking about?” Her voice peeped behind him, her hand tangled in his shirt. A resounding ache echoed in his chest as he stared at the witch.

Astrid.

Celeste’s sister. One for who Harry harbored a lot of resentment for not warning them. For not protecting his beloved back then. She had been somewhat nonchalant. Telling Harry that Celeste would meet him in another life. Her lack of care had ruined their goodwill, making Harry feel as though she didn’t fucking care that the love of his life - well, past? It confused them- was gone.

“I don’t know, darling.” His grip on her was firm, making Astrid scoff.

“Calm down, Fangs. I’m not going to hurt my sister… though- I have a feeling based on the incredibly confused faces, you haven’t actually figured it all out yet?” She laughed, shaking her head as she tried to peek around Harry. “Should probably listen to messages all the way through- just got excited to see her again. Tell me.” She paused, growling slightly when Harry kept her from view. “What’s your name in this life, sister? What did you choose? Y/N or Violeta?”

Y/N felt her heart drop to her stomach, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat before attempting to speak.

“How did you– Y/N. My name is Y/N.” Y/N looked between Astrid and Harry, waiting for one of them to tell her what on earth was going on. It seemed Harry was hesitant to accept the help of this woman, but she knew her name. “What is going on?” While her heart was beating a million miles a minute, she tried her best to sound strong. She was angry that Harry once again was hiding something from her, he clearly knew this woman and this woman knew him.

“Darling, I feel as though this is something you should take on with your… well since you haven't bonded I’m not sure what he is to you.” Astrid chuckled, “Always cautious you are, Harry. So respectful of my sister, but still haven’t learned to trust now did you?” She smirked seeing the anger flare through Harry’s expression. “No need to get angry at the truth, Harry. You mustn’t lie to the girl any more than you have.”

“Look, if you came here to laugh in our faces, you might as well make your way out.” Y/N felt her jaw clenching. “I’ve been having dreams of this woman since I’ve stepped foot in this home, your sister? You think I’m her?” Y/N asked in a pointed tone, she refused to have any more time wasted.

“I didn’t lie.” He snarled, baring fangs. He didn’t want to make this any more painful or weird than it already was for them! “I wasn’t sure. That is why I called to ask!”

“Blah, blah. Harry, you’re dense. Y/N- I apologize if that’s how it seems. Harry and I have always had our differences since your passing.”

Y/N blinked.

What?

What?!

“I know you are. It’s adding up.” She began softly, lowering her tone. The poor thing didn’t actually know, and Celeste was trying to pop through and this humanity she had been raised with was something that was trying to push it back. “The dreams you’ve been having aren’t dreams. They’re memories.” She sat on the armchair opposite where they were standing. Astrid was overly comfortable and it made Harry irritated, but Y/N could feel a seedling of fondness creep into her tummy.

It felt like she knew her.

“When Celeste died- I saved her soul.” She began, kicking her feet up on the table. “She- aka, you- always had an issue fitting in. It’s why she was targeted. A vampire and a witch… everyone could see it. Harry was struggling at the time, still adjusting to coming into vampiric adulthood. You both were so in love, you couldn’t see that people were noticing things. The way she never got sick, the things she could conjure up… it was incredible for the time period.” Astrid rolled her eyes slightly.

“And Harry? He abused conjuring. He got whatever he wanted whenever you batted those long eyelashes. Whipped to the tenth degree.”

Harry winced because as crude as she sounded… she wasn’t wrong.

“Two fools in love. I found out too late about the plans. I couldn’t save your physical form- but I saved your soul. Unfortunately…” she had the grace to look a bit bashful.

“Someone stole it. Vanessa- she had always been jealous of you and Harry. She had broke through an enchantment and stole the bottle I had your soul in. I got it back only a bit ago. That’s why it took so long. And Harry, here.” She gave him a glare. “Ignored my letters for a good few centuries. Rude.”

It was all a bit much to take in.

Y/N wasn’t sure what she was expecting, after all, it did involve vampires and witches. This certainly wasn’t on her list.

“So, you have my soul?” Y/N asked as if it was normal. As if she had any idea of how she ended up here. This whole time she thought she was her own person but this was a part of her. It didn’t make any sense, there was still a piece missing to the puzzle.

“Well, when I got it back, I drove up north because it seems all the bloodsuckers moved— and I released it.” Astrid continued, “About… say how old are you?”

“Almost 23.” Y/N swallowed, noticing how Astrid seemed pleased at her answer.

“23 years ago sounds about right.” Astrid hummed, “You know Harry, you should be thankful I brought her so close to you— who knows what would have happened had I not come up here.” It was clear that she was teasing, just getting the vampire riled up for her own entertainment.

“Any who… If Harry had opened my letters, he would have heard all about it. I’m glad you two found each other, I know how deeply you care for him… always knew you’d try to outsmart the fates— but you better not mess about this time!”

“Astrid.” He growled, feeling the rage inside of him brewing. “This is not funny.”

“I mean.” She waved her hand. “It’s a little funny. You’ve got each other now, don’t you? She isn’t gonna stick out so much. I figured you’d have that stick out of your arse since you’ve gotten her back butttttt…”

“You could have rang! Found me! Told me so I didn’t live in misery all these years. Of course, I’m ecstatic she is back, but you played me. Made me think there wasn’t a chance.”

Y/N could see him bristling, stiff as a board, with hair standing up on the back of his neck. Truly, he looked a bit monster like as she looked at his bared fangs and the veins that blackened beneath his eyes.

Her favorite show hadn’t been too far off.

“Harry.” She whispered, placing her hand on his chest. “Please. You’ve got to relax. I’m upset too. I’m confused. But getting combative isn’t going to give us answers.” She wasn’t afraid of him. Despite what most humans would feel, Y/N wasn’t worried about him hurting her. He would never. His hands were meant to nurture her. Soothe her. Pleasure. Not hurt.

Harry felt the warmth of her hand on his chest, the stiffness of his body relaxed a little. The veins and fangs remained, but his gaze softened as it laid on her.

“I’m sorry.” He gently pulled her to lean into his side, hand cupping the back of her head and letting her be pulled into his embrace. “I know you don’t like to see me like that.”

Harry was confused, because despite Celeste’s soul being inside of her… he fell in love with Y/N.

Her laugh, her giggle, her cinnamon sugar toast. Her painting, her cadence, and the way she preferred rubies to diamonds. The way her hair fell into her face even when she placed it up into that sleepy, messy bun. Her stories from school and how she always wanted to save any animal she saw outside.

It wasn’t just Celeste’s soul, but the personality she had gained here.

“She said she’d find you did she not?” Astrid asked with a chuckle, “and she’s here! You should be thanking me! It’s your own fault you haven’t bonded with her yet.” She rolled her eyes, though the sight of her sister in her new form warmed her heart.

She was different now— it seemed that the time in limbo had done her some good. Y/N seemed more free, almost innocent, it felt like she had found herself again. That sweet little girl that found joy in the peculiar, had found her way back home.

“Look, it’s quite simple— you love each other no? Harry, if you weren’t such a coward you would have already figured all of this out but it seems I must spell it out for you.” The woman grumbled as she stood up to leave.

“Celeste is alive and well, she’s found a home in Y/N’s soul the day she was born. Of course, they aren’t the same person, but when Celeste died her essence got a fresh start in her.” She started, looking between the two. “The second you bond with her, her memories will come back— but it won’t be Celeste. Unfortunately, well I guess fortunately for you, unless I recovered her body I wouldn’t be able to resurrect her fully. But she lives on within Y/N.”

Y/N was at a loss for words.

It was a bit disheartening, to think that her whole existence was just merely a part of some witch's plan for immortality. But if Astrid was telling the truth and that she was just a part of her, then it couldn’t be so bad right?

Surely it would hurt to see Harry get excited about seeing parts of Celeste in her, but if she was her then surely not? it all seemed a bit confusing. She wasn’t sure how it would work, but she was scared, to say the least.

“I….” He swallowed.

It was complicated. A weird mix of relief for finally having her back with him, but sadness because he knew how this was going to look to Y/N. The situation was quite literally one that had never happened in history books before.

“I fell in love with her. As much as Celeste will always be a part of me… I’m a little bit confused.” He turned slightly to Astrid. “She’s going to be… she will be aware of those memories?” He tried to soothe Y/N, his smooth hands running down her back but he could feel the unease oozing off of her.

“Oh, yes. But it doesn’t have to be complicated. Y/N, you’ve always been a bit confused about the missing pieces, haven’t you? Why you always feel as though Harry is so familiar to you? He’s literally made for you. Your body is a different vessel, but you’re still having the same feelings. It’s always been right.” Astrid paused, thinking of a good example.

“It’s why when you first moved in and Harry was probably his cold self and kept you at an arms length, it probably hurt, didn’t it? You felt a bit weird internally but shut it down because you’ve always been a bit too rational. Knowing you didn’t have a ‘right’ to feel upset but you did. It’s your old memories, old feelings. Harry wasn’t one to ever skimp on attention so it probably felt odd.”’

Y/N wasn’t going to bother asking how or why she knew that. It seemed that Y/N was just better off keeping to her ignorant bliss. Astrid had proved to both of them she knew far more about this than they did and she wasn’t going to fight— especially when they knew nothing about this soul bonding process on their own.

“I-I… if you’re saying I’m Celeste then are you saying I’m a witch as well?” Y/N asked curiously, though, she was uncertain about how she would feel about her answer. It was entirely possible. Were there rules she had to follow? Was there anything she had to do once she came into those powers?

Y/N was overwhelmed, to say the least, allowing herself to fully lean on Harry for support. She felt like this new information called for a long nap and a delicious meal immediately after she woke up. Nuzzling her face against Harry’s side she closed her eyes, waiting for Astrid’s answer. She didn’t care if she was being rude. Poor girl was feeling a bit lightheaded.

His cold body was a relief to the flush of heat that was through her at all of the intense information she had just received. She could have moaned as he placed his hand on the hot skin at the back of her neck, clutching onto him in a way that made the vampire a bit stressed.

“Yes. You absolutely are. Come on, girl. Do you really think that people can get things as easily as you? The manifesting thing on steroids? The things you chant to make yourself feel better…” Astrid laughed at the pure ignorance. The poor thing had been blissfully ignorant of everything up until now. “The powers are mostly dormant, I’m assuming. Considering you haven’t burnt the place down with rage, my sister, you have been held back. My assumption is that when Dracula bites you, the powers will start to come back as the bond strengthens.” She could feel Harry blinking at her, making her toss her hands up in a ‘whatever’ gesture. “I’ve done my reading. Deducing. Much better than that Sherlock did.”

He hadn’t known this would be the outcome and he had mixed feelings about it all. His old love was his new love, vice versa. He felt like his feelings were a betrayal to both of them.

The good thing was, though, his beautiful Y/N wouldn’t age the way a human would. She could truly be with him. It would be a matter of the soul mate bond snapping back into place instead of this constant edging between their souls and hearts.

“Fates.” Harry closed his eyes, massaging the back of Y/N’s neck soothingly.  “Alright. Astrid- get out of my house. She’s feeling faint. Stay around the area, I’ll need you to return or at the very least, send one of your own to help her soon. She needs to be aware before I bond her fully.” He wanted Y/N to choose. Not just the older part of her soul.

“Alright, alright… but don’t wait too long, you don’t want to her find dead one morning.” Astrid sighed, half joking but there was some truth to it. Now that she was aware of the fates plan, there was only so much time left for them to decide.  “You’ll know where to find me.” With a wave of her hand, Astrid was out the door.

Y/N was far too in her own mind to have heard her last comment, but Harry heard it crystal clear. While he may be a vampire, he was no stranger to the way the fates worked.

The fates were fair and just— it was their job to maintain balance here on earth, both for humans and the supernatural. At times their job led to making harsh decisions, if anyone broke the laws of the universe then they would see their fate flash before them.

Harry had never met someone as pure and kind as Y/N surely she was on the fates good side. He simply couldn’t see Celeste in her the way it seemed Astrid could. Though he loved Celeste dearly, he knew that their relationship was bound to end in a bloody disaster— he’d expected himself to be the one to break but the fates clearly had other plans.

Y/N let out a shaky breath against his shirt, clinging to him to find some stability. She needed to ground herself.

She needed to lay down.

[irish-urn]

Hi! So I’ve been reading some LWD fanfics and it’s always weird whenever some stories make Abby as this cruel mom who abandoned her children and is never in their lives. Like if you watch the episode “Adios Derek” it is clearly said that she comes by almost every weekend from Toronto to see her kids (that’s more than Dennis does and he is seen in better lights than Abby). And in that episode you could see how much Derek and Marti loves their mom (We don’t see much of Edwin and Abby though since he has his own plot going), so it’s kind of disheartening to see people write Derek as if he hates or thinks of Abby as a stranger, Nora said it clearly “the kids misses you a lot but they’re even prouder of you”.

ALSO, as a science student, I could tell you first hand HOW DIFFICULT it is doing an undergrad in that field, so I can’t understand the difficulty of a doctorate, I have a professor who told us that with a thesis paper there’s an oral exam where the examiner can literally ask you the wildest question about your subject and YOU HAVE TO KNOW IT BY HEART AT THAT MOMENT and if you don’t the examiner will fail you. So with all that pressure, studying, lab work and seeing her kids every weekend (the back and forth driving), it must take such a toll on her.

I don’t blame her for her absence and neither do the kids (obviously), but some writers seem to hate her guts for following her dream and being a weekend mom. I think it’s admirable that they went this route, usually they either make the divorced mom devoted to her kids or a horrible person who doesn’t like her kids, but here you have a mom doing her studies and being a mom.

And not to mention, the episodes are a snapshot of some days, it doesn’t show everything, so there’s most likely days where Derek, Edwin and Marti spends days with their mom (ex: Fright Night) and we don’t see it because then we’ll be missing key characters on the show. I hate how some writers act like Nora is more their mom than Abby is, like??? It’s such a disrespect to Abby and the kids like the kids NEVER called Nora “mom” and I don’t think they ever will since they clearly see her only as their step-mom and Abby as their mom (ex: Fright Night where Derek and Edwin clearly don’t see her as an authoritarian figure they have to listen to (unless their dad is there) unlike when Derek had to break the news to his mom that he doesn’t want to go to Spain (he was so scared to disappoint her) or when George yelled at him in S1).

Most times I feel like nobody watched Abby’s appearance (she is such a cool character, you can clearly see why George fell in love with her and how Nora and her became friends), they just saw the scenes between Dasey and called it a day. I’m sorry this is such a rant, but I feel like moms are always so discouraged to follow their dreams because they have kids (whereas if the men does it it’s empowering 🙄), my mom also had to sacrifice her dream because of her marriage and kids, so when I saw Abby following her career and still being there for her kids, it was so refreshing and then seeing all the hate she gets for it…really disgusted me.

Hiiii!!! Yay let's talk about Abby and the parents and Derek (because he's my blorbo and therefore everything spirals back to him *anyways*).

First of all: yes. I think you've summed up Abby and how she's actually portrayed in the show MUCH better than I ever could (I tend to ramble, as I think everyone knows). She's a really cool, good mom; and actually, I think you made something spark in me which is going to change how I write her in my kick at the darkness series — I've always been really torn on whether she stayed in Spain/Europe or moved back to Canada, because the show never really says, but now I think I know what I wanna do with her...

Secondly: regarding your frustrations about characterization within the fandom — the most interesting thing to me about LWD is that it's marketed as a sitcom, but it's actually far messier than that. Most sitcoms put a lot of stock into tropes, both plot AND character tropes. Just look at FRIENDS or Seinfeld or B99. Although the characters are more than just their tropes, viewers (and writers) do tend to fall back on "character types" when it comes to sitcoms.

Now, what does that mean for the 4 parents: Well, we have to divide them up into pre-determined tropes, right? And if we already have a "devoted good mom" in Nora... That means Abby has to be her foil, right? I think this is a trap that a lot of writers fall into, and it's easy to do.

LWD is cool though, because they do play with these tropes. Because Nora is a devoted mom, but she also compromises for the good of her marriage, parentfies the HELL out of Casey, and has severe self-esteem issues. George is the well-meaning but absent-minded father, but he's also extremely lax and inconsistent with his discipline, a lawyer who seems to coast more on his charm than his debating skills, and the kind of dad who likes all the fun parts about raising a child while being really bad at all of the less-fun (and arguably far more important parts).

Now, we see this because George and Nora are part of the main cast, so we get a chance to see them develop these characters. Abby, unfortunately, gets very little screen time, and most of her character is told us by what other characters say about her. The fun/interesting/dangerous thing about that is characters are extremely biased and Derek is RIPE for biased perspective.

(Here's where I bring in my blorbo; apologies, but you knew what would happen)

Since Derek is our MMC, we see a lot of the world through his eyes; and I think Derek has a lot of mixed feelings about his parents. A good chunk of that is because of the divorce — I don't care how necessary or right a divorce is, it's gonna be traumatic for the kids. And even if Abby and George have a good relationship post-divorce, Derek (and Edwin and Marti) still had to go through watching their parents separate and their lives change forever. Judging by the (incredibly wack) timeline of the show, I think it's safe to say that Derek was probably 11/12 when his parents were divorcing. That's a BIG AGE. He's starting puberty. He has a new baby sister. He has a new school. He's trying to figure out who he is. And on top of all that, his parents are splitting up? The boy has feelings and scars.

Also, we need to keep in mind that Derek is a TEENAGER. They feel first and rationalize later. So if we pick up on any resentment or negative feelings from Derek regarding EITHER Abby or George, that doesn't mean they're bad people. It just means Derek has BIG FEELINGS and he's 16-18 and trying to figure out the world.

For instance, I'm writing the kick at the darkness series (I assume anyone who is on my blog for LWD content knows this series). I have two scenes of Derek&Abby planned for it: one is set in Derek's first year of Queen's, and one is set during his third year. ABBY AND HIS INTERACTIONS ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT IN THESE SCENES and 80% of that is because of Derek and where he is mentally. The difference between Derek at 19 and 21 is VAST. He's also just not in a good mindset in his first year and so he's not nearly as understanding of Abby as he could be; his interaction with his mom in his third year is really good though because his mental health and maturity has grown A LOT.

Both of these scenes and interactions can exist without either of them being OOC because people are complicated. I also suspect that Abby and Derek's relationship would get better over time as Derek matures, because he's gonna get a better appreciation of how difficult her choices were and how she did the best she could.

Slightly off-topic, but in the same vein: some people say that I'm harsh when I write George; but I actually find him hilarious and sweet most of the time. But what I'm playing with is Derek's growing pains and his changing view of his dad (also: the George&Derek relationship is MESSY AS HELL). Writing complicated characters and relationships is really difficult, and I struggle with it all the time. How do you balance all of people's flaws and strengths? Especially when, in fiction, there's almost always a conflict that's pushing the plot forwards that usually doesn't give people the chance to be their best selves (unlike life which is a cycle of peace and conflict). So, that might also be some of the explanation as to why Abby's writing in fandom is usually one-sided: a complicated character is difficult to write well; and if their main focus is Dasey, well... other characters may not be given as much effort to full flesh out. It's unfortunate, but understandable.

I also think that something that people might pick up on but might not recognize the complexities of is Derek's perception of himself. There's a scene in LWD when Derek tells George, "Do you have any idea how difficult it is being your son?" (or very close to it).

(Stay with me, I have a point)

George is a lawyer. Abby is a marine biologist. What do those two things have in common? A lot of education and focus and a clear career goal in mind. What are Derek's biggest weaknesses?

...His schooling, his focus, and a clear life goal.

What are the chances that a lot of Derek's mixed feelings about his parents come from HIS perception that they think he's dumber than they are? Do you think Derek sees his Ds and C-minuses and Fs, and then listens to his dad talk about his law cases, and his mom talk about her marine research, and he feels ashamed and stupid? I bet he does. I bet it makes him feel really small. And I bet it makes him lash out because that's what people do.

So, I know I went off on a bit of a tangent, and my thoughts went more in the realm of Derek's relationship WITH Abby, but I hope it was a good talk anyways? I ALWAYS HC that Derek and Abby have a really good relationship by the time he's, like, 21; and one that just gets stronger over time. I think she's cool.

[doofus-and-dragons]

This will more than likely be the last one of these I have. So, for the last time, here is my live reaction to the final season of TMA. These will be in no particular order because ice been listening to it over the span of a couple of weeks. I only listen to it at work.

TMA S5 Spoilers ahead

The cabin episode made me so sad. The eyepocolypse had even taken away their domestic bliss

I really don't remember the trenches that well. It's not a fear of mine, so it didn't shake me or stick well enough. Still good tho

The sickness episode sent me right back to senior year of highschool. I had to take a minute KXNSKXN

REVOLUTIONS WAS AMAZING I LOVED THE POETRY AND THE ACENGING OF SASHA BY KILLING NOT!SASHA. I love it.

At first I thought the worms was about Jane again but I was very wrong. It was a very interesting take!

Curiosity made me incredibly sad. I feel bad for Eric, Micheal, and Sarah(? Trinity? I don't remember. She was set on fire by a desolation avatar I think)

Also: Gertrude x Agnes perhaps???? Or at least solemn pinning? Maybe I just think it's slightly tragic to make it so and sometimes angst is good yknow?

Roots was ok, but the only part that stuck out to me was the jealous Martin scene. I listened to it like 3 times. I kept rewinding it just to list to it.

Fire Escape was SO good! It gave me a kind of manic energy as I listened to the descriptions of the fire.

Martin in the Lonely again made me cry. That's it.

"Who's this? Your boyfriend?" "Yes actually." "Oh...so is there anyway this doesn't end in me dead?"

The Basira and Daisy stuff actually did make me feel bad for Basira. Like, it's the apocalypse and she's having a whole ass crisis.

SALESA WAS INCREADIBLE

I wonder how he faked his death... man is talented and smart, I'll give him that

Skipping ahead to Martin's domain. Loved that. My boy isn't strictly human and I love that he can't deny that fact anymore.

Martin: Something something "one of you"

Jon, being a smug theater kid bastard boy: "One of us."

Like I heard that and I imagined him smirking ominously and gesturing with both his hands

He sounded so pleased that his boyfriend, as miniscule a role it had or that martin had, was like him, and I love that for him

I'm so glad Melanie and Georgie are happy. Though, the cult does weird me out (cults give me the heebie jeebies. It was a very nice touch!)

They deserve nice things.

Also, my favorite of the Cult members was Anil's character. I can't remember his name right off the top of my head, but he was wonderful. Anil did amazing with that little cameo/role

The scene where's he's arguing with Martin reminds me of that Jojo meme with jotoro and dio, but instead of stands they have their poetry clutched tight in their fists

"I dont need a poet." No, Jon, because you already have one. His name is Martin

Of course Jon gets trapped in the ocean when he doesn't have big string martin to row him out of it XD

SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE

Annabelle Cane is wonderful, I'm so glad Jon didn't kill her. She's so chummy with Martin up until she has to be a dramatic villain and I love that for her!

The ladder episode made me grin like a maniac manly because I would be the Martin in that situation. I love the feeling of falling/floating, but I hate actually getting myself to fall. I physically can't do it. I can barely dive into the lake from my papaw's boat

Martin, there are thousands of fanfics that dive into you two getting together without the trauma. Don't even.

NO JON THE PLAN

Hey, real elias! That's where him being a stoner comes from! Because he is one! Nice.

I love og Elias, and I would protect him with my life I don't care.

Oh wait it was just Magnus dreaming

JON NO THE PLAN FUCKING HELL

I almost cried when Martin was yelling at Jon. The boys are fighting

THE KISS HOLY SHIT ALEX SAKD THEY WOULDNT KISS THEY KISSED AH

They're somewhere else being happy and domestic now you can't change my mind

[liberty-mutual-138]

Okay, Pookie. I forgot my precious ask, so I’ll send in new ones for the other OC ask game. 👁️👄👁️

5. what was your character's dream job as a kid? is it different than what their career ended up being?

6. what is the thing your oc likes the least about themselves?

16. how does your OC feel about their parents? (No hope for Ozzy and Annika 😭)

23. what are your OC’s biggest flaws and biggest strengths?

26. least favorite food and color?

28. is your OC a dog or cat person?

Pookie I’m so sorry 😭

(5) Oz’s dream job was to play in the NFL, which he was extremely close to doing. He loved football, was very talented and got an athletic scholarship to a college known for its team. Two years in, ‘68, his little brother, Johnny, gets drafted. For Oz’s entire life, he was the one expected to go into the military as the oldest, so the guilt he had overwhelmed him into joining as well. That’s why he joined the Army.

Annika wanted to be a Veterinarian because of “her” childhood dog. (some crusty ass stray she found on the side of the street) He got sick and died, and she wanted to stop that from happening to other animals. (Boris is literally the reason why Annika has any semblance of empathy. Dawg was the best)

Now… oh shit. She’s a mass murderer who kills people for a living, dead opposite of what she wanted to be. Oh well, lives a bitch and then you die.

Abbey, as a kid, wanted to do anything that supported her caregivers’ ideology, which she truly didn’t know jackshit about. She thought that they could do nothing wrong and needed support; she would’ve died for them. Instead, Abbey also took the exact opposite route. She went into the FBI to take those people down. Another drastic change in the list.

(6) Oz hates who he was between leaving Vietnam and having Jenny. “A depressed, abusive, drug-addicted piece of human shit.” as he calls it. He hates it when he exhibits any behaviors that remind himself of that time. If Oz yells at Jenny, or feels the urge to relapse, he punishes himself by not taking care of himself.

Annika hates that she isn’t as ruthless as she used to be. She’d used to kill for money, for power, now Annika can barely kill for self defense. She wishes she could go back to being apathetic, but now that scab’s been peeled off, and everything’s bleeding out.

Abbey hates how obsessive she is. Not stalker-like obsessed; I’m talking obsessive-compulsive obsessed. There’s a constant presence in her head telling her how she should be, what she must do or else something terrible will happen. How deeply she thinks about how somebody else’s acting. Girl barely sleeps at night because of her rituals.

(16) Oz HATES his father. That monster abused him physically, emotionally, and psychologically for his entire life. Nobody believed him growing up that his father was abusive, not even his siblings, because Old Man Clancy was a ‘war hero’. War hero his ass. All Ozzy saw was a monster.

However, he was a Mama’s boy through and through. She was the only person that believed him, as she went through the abuse herself. They spoke to each other in German when Old Man Clancy was away and made dinner together for rest of the family. Best memories of his life with his mom.

Annika, it depends which AU. In the original one, with her as Bell? She couldn’t care less about her parents. They never had that ‘love and attention” thing that y’all seem to be obsessed with. Her parents were more coworkers than parents. Everything was transactional within the “family”.

However, in the AU where her dad becomes Bell, she’s only about 9. Girl looks up to him, wanting to do all the things he does, and loves him more than anything. Well, she was in one of the cars during the airport thing at the beginning of the story, so now she thinks he’s dead. She was screaming out for her dad while Mason was carrying her off.

Can’t do Abbey as she doesn’t know her parents 🙃

(23) Keeping this one short:

Oz’s greatest flaw: Chronically low self-esteem; dude hates himself so much he unknowingly takes it out on everyone around him.

Oz’s greatest strength: Resilience; dudebro’s gone through hell and back, and is already up for round 4. He ain’t giving up any time soon.

Annika’s greatest flaw: Pookie look at her. Her lack of empathy; she can’t understand other’s emotions too well.

Annika’s greatest strength: Her ruthlessness. She don’t give a SHIT. She will get the job done.

Abbey’s greatest flaw: She’s a perfectionist, about herself and the people around her.

Abbey’s greatest strength: Her genuine kindness.

(26) Oz is a macho man, he hates the color pink. Dawg has PTSD surrounding non perishables, he will not eat canned food cause he found a BUNCH OF COCKROACHES IN A CAN OF CORN DURING HIS DEPLOYMENT AHHHHHHH HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET IN THERE????

Annika hates meat. She’s a vegetarian, the smell of meat makes her gag. She’ll throw up if she has to eat it. She doesn’t like the color orange, reminds her of Captain Asshole (Adler).

What food DOESN’T Abbey hate? Girl is very picky, but her least favorite is ONIONS BECAUSE THEY SUCK. ONIONS SUCK. I FUCKING HATE ONIONS. THEYRE DISGUSTING. HOW COULD YOU ENJOY THEM???? SHE WILL GAG. Oh and her least favorite color is blue 😊

(28) Oz is a cat person through and through. Dogs remind him of Vietnam.

Annika doesn’t give a shit. If it has 0-4 legs, 0-2 eyes, makes an adorable noise (or tries to), she will LOVE it. Get her a rat, she’ll love and cherish it.

Abbey’s a dog person. They’re so funny and are always happy, and always serve as a good distraction.

THANKS FOR THE OTHER ASK! ITS ALWAGS NICE HEARING FROM MY POOKIE BEAR ❤️

[theholypeanut]

Isekai’ed into Kuroko no Basket? AND IN YŌSEN?

Isekai genre - when someone (usually an adult girl) dies in her life (usually by being hit by truck-kun) and gets reincarnated into a novel she read (usually with multiple male leads and steamy romance, also usually fantasy world)

Certain pre-isekai life assumptions: “You” are not from Akita, or any other north city of Japan, also AFAB character pre and post isekai

Comedy crack piece, cw: swearing and being mean about knb characters, simping for Daddy Harasawa

- U came back from your university wanting to just die from amount of work and studying you had to do

- You are just a casual student, not so great, not so bad, and for stress relief you read lots of sports mangas bc of pretty sweating boys

- You decided to go to the convenience store for some instant ramen, what is a main core of your diet, and then, in your least favourite sweatpants and dirty t-shirt, u get hit by a truck

- Thinking “well at least I don’t have to give the assignment tomorrow for econ” u just waited if they have anime in hell

- And then you open your eyes, and it’s not your bed, not your room

- Actually it was a very nice neat room, looked like belonged to some teenage girl, which is also kinda alarming, that someone like this rescued a wounded adult person who looked like a homeless beggar

- However you don’t feel any pain, which is weird considering you just get hit by a truck. You sit up and noticed that u look a little… skinnier? Also your hands looked diff- Hold up.

- You looked into the mirror and it was not your reflection

- Even worse, after all you assumed if you wake up in some other body, at least this time you’d be extremely pretty with big boobs and nice ass but no luck - you were pretty but also pretty plain. Also very young

- You saw a cute uniform hanging next to your mirror and got war flashbacks. It was not your high school uniform but the fact that it was here suggests that…

- …. You have to go back to school and you’d really rather just die, even if the uniform is pretty

- After eating breakfast with not-your-parents and wearing this pretty not-your-uniform, you fished for some information from them - which wasn’t hard bc they were very excited that you are starting your high school life today, in this prestigious Catholic school, that is well known from western influences and good food. But somehow they never told you the name.

- You tried to pretend to be very clumsy and asked not-your-parents “So what’s the name of my school again?”

- They looked at you like you are a cat who does silly tricks and not-your-mom said “Silly, how could you forget? You go to Yosen now”

- You froze. This name sounded too familiar, especially with your cute uniform. Hold up. If this is this Yosen then…

-“WAIT WE ARE IN AKITA?” You yelled with despair. At this point your parents were wondering if you have brain damage, bc how could you forget where you lived your whole life?

- U somehow convince your parents that you don’t have brain tumour or got concussed during the night, and you just had a very strange dream about living in Tokyo and confused reality with dreaming

- While walking to your dumb school in dumb Akita, you already were annoyed

- First of all, you fuckin hated snow

- And second of all, not only you got isekai’ed into a sports anime, which is probably the worst thing that could happen to the girl, because this teenage boys have basketball balls for brains, but also you ended up in Akita way away from the main plot, and you are back into your first year of highschool while mentally still being a college student in her 20’s, which kinda made you a creep

- Not only that, if this is really world of Kuroko no Basket, you ended up in a school with The Biggest (Talented) Whiny Baby and Emo Pretty Boy which seriously, are not the best cards you could get

- If you’d get into any school in Tokyo, at least you’d interact with the characters more, and if it’d be Rakuzan, it seemed like players in the team were just way more fun and diverse, while Yōsen’s whole plot was mostly Himuro’s weird homoerotic brotherhood and Murasakibara being a whiny bitch. Oh, and them being tall

- Also they show up in the anime only in Winter Cup arc, which means that you don’t interact with the main plot in the next half a year - so what the heck are you supposed to do till now?

- Also the fact that this is a Catholic school makes it even more ridiculous - if God exists, he’d sent you to Tōō so you can simp over the hottest coach in whole series, not send you to The North

- You found your way to the school and, well, to be fair: it was really impressive. Also people here were so freaking tall, it is ridiculous for Japan

- School for Giraffes I swear

- Building was huge, modern, pretty - no wonder your fake parents were so excited about you going here

- When you went to the announcement board to check the class you are in, very fast you realised that you are in the same class as Murasakibara

- Well, it does make sense, since this is a very typical plot armour situation - but also it makes you wonder - should you get involved in the plot at all? Become a manager for Yōsen team? Because honestly it seem like… a hassle.

- U found your way into the classroom and there was still no Purple Baby Giant. Also outside of that, everyone seem rather normal, no crazy hair colors, no one being two meters tall, no one being extremely pretty or handsome: typical NPC class in the anime

- You chose a chair next to the window, to get +10 to angst (as you are now a teenager, again)

- Bell rang and everyone took their sits, and there was still no familiar face. Is it possible, that all of this was just a huge coincidence, and you got reincarnated into some alternative universe where names are just way too familiar?

- Right when you were about to sigh with relief, the door opened and you saw a giant figure, that didn’t even fit into the frame. “I’m sorry for being late”

- I guess no one expected someone so big attend first class, so teacher asked if he is sure that’s where he supposed to be, while everyone else started gossiping. To be fair maybe later on you’d ask new classmates if they find it suspicious that his hair was purple. After explaining the issue, Murasakibara Atsushi, The Giant of Teikō, member of Generation of Miracles, sat right behind you, in the last place from the window. Well, that would be indeed rather inconvenient if he sit in the front.

- Teacher started intodrucing himself and there were some voting regarding class President - neither you or Murasakibara got elected, since it would be very inconvenient for the plot. However at the end of the lesson teacher requested all of you to write something in the notebook. “Ah, crap” you hear behind you. No freaking way, you thought. No way…

- “Hey” you felt someone touching you on the back. “Can you borrow me a pen?”

- As in a stereotypical shoujo manga scene, you took a pen out of your pencil case and turn around to face The Main Character of this school. He took it without changing his bored expression and murmured quiet thanks.

- As the break started, you were thinking about talking to him again, but just as hungry birds, people from your class gathered around purple haired boy, commenting on his height. “Whoa do you play volleyball?” “No, basketball” for a second it amused you, how interesting would be if Murasakibara get into Haikyuu (he totally should have come to Shiratorizawa). Since there was no chance to talk to him, you just took out some food not-your-mom prepared, which actually were some homemade cookies.

- “Hey” you heard the same voice again as before, but you didn’t turn this time. People were still gathered around, so he probably wasn’t speaking to you. However the crowd got quiet. “Hey, Pen Girl” you heard a little louder. If it was a car that hit you, not a truck, maybe you’ll be just peacefully dead, instead of dealing with this bullshit.

- You turned around. “What?” You said rather annoyed. You could hear how entire class collectively stopped breathing from fear. This dude was over two meters tall, and you are talking to him this way? Sounds like a death wish.

- “Can I have one?” He pointed at the cookie. Oooh… you made a fast calculation in your head. Do you want to be inserted into sports anime plot? Do you want to do this manager work and watch sweaty boys go around the ball in your free time? Do you want to make fun of Himuro’s bangs?

- You know the answer. So there was no other way. You took one more cookie into your hand, and put all others on Murasakibara’s desk. “You can have them, they are really good.”

- And there you are, a college weeb, making friends with The Whinest Highschooler in Kuroko no Basket.

- Getting a position of the basketball club manager in Yōsen was actually way harder than it should be. When you went to the coach with your application, you were denied on the spot. “We don’t need a manager” she said coldly. You did not expect that. But then she added “if you want to join Himuro’s funclub, you can do it from the spectator’s sit”

- Oooh, now it all makes sense. Amount of teenage girls who want to sniff Himuro’s sweaty towels made things harder for you. But you still decided to shoot your shot. After all, Yōsen coach was not so much older than you before you died.

- “Actually, I’m in Murasakibara’s class” you started. “We are very good friends” you put your application next to the coach on the desk, and bended a little closer to her ear and lowered your voice. “I know how to keep him motivated. Think about it”. After that you left the office and decided to put into motion your new plan: Pavloving Murasakibara

- It took one week until Coach asked you to come to the training. You’ve been preparing for this all this time. You knew that Atsushi was lazy, hated sweating and getting invested into the game, and treated everything like a hassle.

- For the past week you and Purple Giant became a very good friends. You’d always brought more food and sweets, so it wasn’t long until his mouth started watering whenever he saw your face. All according to the plan.

- “We have a rather important training match soon, and Murasakibara is not treating trainings seriously” coach sighed on your way to the gym. “It is really annoying how someone so talented has so little dedication”

- When you arrived, you’d see a crowd of girls from all classes watching guys stretching. Or should you say, one guy.

- Murasakibara was getting yelled at by the captain, probably hearing something similar you heard from the coach: to start training seriously. But the moment he saw you, his face got brighter. Ah, the power of conditioning. Thank god you took the psychology class on your first year.

- “Chibi-chin!” You heard his voice. Yes, it was a lovely nickname that he used, as you were way smaller than him. You smiled and waved your hand. Captain got distracted, as he probably never expected Coach to voluntarily bring a girl to the training. “If you can make him treat it seriously, you can be the manager. Just don’t steal Himuro’s shirts” “Can I steal his shorts tho?” Coach sent you a disgusted look. “Okay, that was a joke, no stealing”

- You went to Murasakibara. “Hey ‘Sushi!” At this point you wouldn’t be surprise if people assume you two are dating, since you had lovely nicknames for each other. “I heard that you have an important match soon” you touched his jersey and gently pull it so he will lean down to you. “You know, if you try your best on the training and win that game, I’ll ask my mom to make you a homemade cake, any flavour you’d want”

- He swallowed saliva. “Any flavour?” - You could hear excitement in his voice. “Yes” you smiled to him. “So work hard, okay, ‘Sushi?”

- That day, no one from oppose team could score any shoot against Murasakibara.

- You got manager position on the spot.

- If this was an Isekai Novel it would be called How I Became a Nanny to 208 cm Giant Baby

By slowlyholypeanut - dont steal, give credit, love live laugh or whatever

PS: I have no personal grudge against Akita, or Himuro’s bangs, however I do have a grudge against snow