#HOW DO I NEVER NOTICE ANYTHING
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alligaytorswamp · 2 years ago
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i'd certainly benefit from being literate
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months ago
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Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
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[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
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slfcare · 1 month ago
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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lazylittledragon · 4 months ago
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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radiance1 · 5 months ago
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"May I help you, mister...?"
Pariah Dark paused, slowly looking the old (by human standards) butler up and down before slowly sheathing his sword and crossing his arms. He looked the butler up and down once more, before glancing at the mansion and back at him.
Hm.
Hm.
"May I come in?" The king asked calmly, voice kept carefully lower than he would usually speak with. He was aware that his normal tone of voice was 'loud' in human standards. The butler stared at him for a moment, before slowly stepping to the side. "Of course, sir. Though I am certain I have not yet gotten your name."
He pushed his foot forward, soon passing through the threshold as fire wrapped around his body as he shrunk. Armor being exchanged for more 'comfortable' clothing besides his cape as he stepped through the doorway and grunted. "You may refer to me as War."
The butler nodded, not batting an eye as the sudden shift in clothing or size. "You came at quite the convenient time. Would you like to join us for dinner, sir War?"
Him?
Eat mortal food?
Perposterous.
"If you would have me and it's no further effort on your part, I could make such an arrangement." He fell in step easily behind the butler, hands folding behind his back in a similar if not a bit more extra way as his cape and hair swayed behind him with his every step.
"I believe I can arrange something to your liking," There was a sliver of mischief in the butler's tone as he led the king to what he assumed to be the dining room. "So far, all of my guests had only good things to say about my hospitality. I do so hope you're among them as well, words of praise from one of your station is quite hard to come by."
"I trust that your hospitality be nothing but kind." The king said, coming to a stop at a door the butler soon held open.
"Please, make yourself comfortable while I go inform those who will join you and make something more..." There was a slight twinkle in the butler's eyes. "Attuned, to your pallet."
The king chuckled. "I look forward to it." Then stepped inside.
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tariah23 · 8 months ago
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oooooo white people in my replies really saying ‘I can excuse racism but I draw the line at homophobia’
Not surprised since this is the site that only talks about racism and thinks it’s a big deal when they see it demonstrated in the cartoons and comics they like *coughs* dungeonmeshi *coughs* (for example at least. I haven’t seen THIS many white ppl talk as in depth about racism on here as much as these fandom nerds, man. I stg. Like “Ohhhh, so you all DO acknowledge that racism is real? Just not in real life even if you could feel it slapping you in the face at high speed. Gotcha.” It’s crazy.
Tumblr is like, 90% white and is extremely centered around them. That’s why you barely see stuff that’s important to black and brown people ever trending here or being talked about. It has to be something incredibly huge to the point where even white people can’t ignore it like they usually do, to talk about it here.
They only talked about George Floyd here because the topic of his death became world news. Even people in other countries were talking about it. Before him, it was probably Ferguson and Trayvon Martin… most of them are still trying their best to ignore the genocides because it’s a “touchy subject.” What do you expect from white people who live in their own bubbles of comfort and refuse to pop it with a needle??? They find comfort in their privilege and faux ignorance (they love playing stupid to avoid conversations about important things outside of fandoms like, are these mfs born with half a brain dedicated to fandom or what.) That’s literally all these mfs make a big deal out of, especially on this annoying ass platform. The ao3 mfs will go to war for the site that allows racist ff and cp like it’s no big deal. I wonder how many people here even donated to the site while actively scrolling past dono posts from folks who really do need help. They act like they’re doing a civil service by defending this site that makes over the amount of it’s intended dono goal in minutes.
Then you already know as soon as you even bring up racism in the stuff they like, they start ganging up and harassing black bloggers especially, calling them TERFs and the whole nine. Anything to make that person look bad for being concerned about the racism that they have such an intense aversion to. God, it’s absolutely exhausting knowing that these people would have no problem choosing a cartoon character over your entire existence if they COULD. Isn’t that fucking sad, man?
#:(#it’s like what can you do#as a black person I get why sm black bloggers here have ‘don’t follow me if you’re white’ in their bios#they’ll call it racist or whatever (it’s fucking not you guys just treat black ppl like shit here and most of us feel unsafe to interact#with y’all. you guys always turn on us at the drop of a hat)#i remember commenting on a HS post funny enough years ago#because the punchline of the post was literally the white mfs saying nigga#and I was so annoyed that I told them off and one of my white mutuals unfollowed meanjsjsjsl#like right after that#and another unfollowed me because I talk about racism and the like a lot like this is a really well known artist too so I was like 🧍🏾‍♀️?#because I talk about racism a lot??? it’s weird lol#like they’ll tolerate you for a while then when they feel offended they start to act weird and act like you’re not supposed to talk about#the stuff that effects you#tkf replies#karmelarts#they don’t give a shit about anything if it doesn’t personally Involve them#they act like they can’t relate to anyone or anything it they aren’t marginalized themselves (being gay or trans which they treat as a#personality trait)#notice how you never see movies/ shows about black and brown ppl trending here? it’s always white centered shit no#matter how hot and popular that show might be#you’ll never see something like the wire snowfall or power trending here#all of the black ppl are on twitter anyway so#sm black ppl got ran off of here by annoying white ppl
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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months ago
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.
it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?
it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.
as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.
on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.
and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.
and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.
as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.
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starry-bi-sky · 4 months ago
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ty for contributing to the wasteland that is appreciating bruce as a parent and first child danny🙏🙏🙏
It’s a battle out here soldier but I am strong, like winter bear. Also I relate so hard to Bruce in a lot of ways and I think his initial concept is really neat. He tries his damn hardest, and he has so much hope for his city that it’s really admirable.
And as much fun as it is to poke fun at him for his questionable parenting and hypocrisy, there’s always the line of too much that the fandom tends to cross quite often, just as much as they do with the clone and ghost king stuff. Bruce is just as much of a good parent (or at least a trying one) as he is a bad one, and people tend to ignore his good qualities for the sake of a joke. His character is centered around the fact that he cares, he’s just truly shit at communicating it — which, cheers bro, I’ll drink to that.
And there’s already a ton of batfam prompts and aus out there where Danny shows up when the whole colony is already adopted, which means most of the attention goes to Danny bonding with the other siblings and having very little to do with Bruce. He’s kinda just. There. Whether that be as a prop or an antagonist or someone to point and laugh at. Which, I can’t blame people too much for — the cast is so big it’s hard to keep track of relationships and stuff.
However, I think it’s important for Danny to have some form of relationship with Bruce too and not them just be strangers, especially in a familial/platonic setting where Danny is joining the family.
They share a handful of qualities that I think would mesh well together — Danny’s canonically a pessimist while Bruce is a diehard optimist (you kinda have to be to be a hero in a place like Gotham, and he wouldn’t be Batman if he wasn’t) and they both believe in giving people second chances and have wells of compassion to tap into. Danny’s clever and resourceful, and one of his main character traits is that he’s got an iron will.
All in all, good dad bruce go brrrrr and oldest son danny is the perfect, underutilized concept to explore exactly that without distractions. I think they could get along like a house on fire, if given the opportunity.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#starry asks#blood blossom au#nightingale au#tales of the passerine#i didnt include Danny’s puns bc. well. duh that trait is obvious you dont need me to point it out lmao#blood blossom will ultimately focus on Danny and Bruce’s relationship and not the vigilantism#danny actually isnt planned to join the field for a while for non-health related reasons#but you can find me explaining why in one of my reblogs on the og post#this ask got away from me but when does it never do that#i am a certified yapper#anyways you’ll notice in my other aus too that i dont make a habit of bashing or making fun of bruce#most of the danny’s in my aus have a posi-neutral opinion of him inCLUDING cfau danny#clone danny and stillborn danyal are outliers but even then their negative opinions aren’t because of anything bruce has done and stillborn#is really the only one who could develop a bad opinion. clone danny is just scared of him finding out that he exists but otherwise holds#bruce in a posi-neutral light. he recognises the good he does for his city he’s just scared shitless of the dude finding out that he was#cloned. especially since danny was a victim of cloning himself and knows how violating it feels#stillborn danyal’s opinion weighs firmly on who finds out about who first. he only hates bruce if he finds out first bc his shit esteem#easily convinces him that bruce willingly gave him up and replaced him with Damian. he’ll eventually forgive and let go of that anger when#bruce tells him that he was told danny was stillborn and didn’t know he was alive.#everyone has a batfam member they latch onto and unfortunately for me mine is the og bitch himself Bruce Wayne
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harbingersecho · 7 months ago
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triglycercule · 23 days ago
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killer being like "yeah i know every single little thing about horror and dust" (because he watches them as a part time hobby (freak) (find something better to do)) and then he acts surprised when they do something that he wouldnt expect them to do in his little predetermined absolutely perfect concept of them
like what do you MEAN horror licks spoons clean when he's using them so he doesn't have to get a completely different one for the main course and the dessert. what do you MEAN dust has a lisp even though he speaks fluently and uses even more complex words than killer himself. horror knows how to sew and he often patches up their things without either of them noticing?? dust always wears oversized and clothes that cover him up just because he finds it comfy?? what??? out ra geous???? these guys have small little quirks to them that killer doesn't already know about???? killer immediately wants to know more. so he can expand his internal profile of them of course. not for any other more endearing and sweet reason. not at all,,,,,,,, (:3)
#AASHSHAHHHHH this one is so cute....... this thought. thank you brain for making this thought#it's like killer's experiencing sonder (except he's not aware of his own complexity of life because of his own derealization/personalizatio#actually i dont think this deserves to be a side blog post. this is too damn CUTE#at first the 2 were probably weirded out by killer watching them and now they probably dgaf...... killer comments less than youd expect#but now theyre used to his shit so they do all these tiny things that killer gets to pick up on and learn more about them#its so interesting...... killer can do as much reasoning as he can to try and find a logical reason for why they do these little things#but in the end if the real reason is just because they wanted to or they felt like it then how can killer comprehend that?#how can they just do that so easily and choose to do things based off a whim instead of having a calculated precise reason for personal gai#he wouldnt realize it on his own but noticing those little things coming fron horror and dust who used to be like him could help with the#everything is just a game and i am simply an avatar and the ultimate goal is the win aka be the most powerful#for dust and horror theyve already turned their consoles off. theyre out of their games theyve finished. their goal was just to beat it#(like if horrortale finally got the good ending it deserves because of aliza horror would have finished#if dust beat the player and due to extreme boredom (ITS GOTTA BE EXTREME EXTREME) decides to leave to explore the multiverse)#in killer's eyes theyve achieved their goals. but killer's still playing his game. maybe he IS the game. but eitherway he's not done#like they r. so taking into consideration how other versions of himself act when theyre finished with the game could he act like that 2??#did HE also finish his game and he never realized it? should he be basing these ideas off dust and horror when theyre kinda not the same gu#killer would find so many hoops to jump through to justify getting rid of the everything is a competitive game idea but there would be smth#IDK im just rambling. i gawt this idea from me imagining them fight. ya you wouldnt believe this sweet thing came from trio abuse :3#killer psychoanalyzing dust and horror is one of my favorite things eva. horror would HATE IT (if he were aware#and dust would totally be freaked out and keep to himself incase killer's planning anything against him#but uaaaghhh pretend this isnt canon this is triglycercule's ideal little world where they explore the mv and have fun#killer watching dust and horror sleep because he doesnt feel tired while theyre all in bed#and he's just picking up on how theyre positioned. how they breathe. the little things.......... djdjshahahaaahsushdjwbdsn ssosooooo cuuut#tricule hc#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#dare i say mtt poly. ok i dare say it. but like lowkey he'd do this whether theyre together or not...... killers just weird like that......
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moeblob · 7 months ago
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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
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deoidesign · 6 months ago
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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yuridovewing · 5 months ago
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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braceletofteeth · 4 months ago
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When society is robbed of Khabkluen moments as a dentistry student... JoongDunk to the rescue!
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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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