#HOT GIRLS HAVE IBS

[shushmal]

Eddie sits and watches Steve’s kitchen clock slowly count closer and closer to their movie time—closer, then past. It’s 30 minutes gone from showtime when he hears the bathroom door upstairs close and shut, and Steve’s bedroom door quietly doing the same.

Wincing, Eddie counts down slowly from 100, lets Steve wallow for a bit, before he gets down from his stool to head up.

“Hey,” Eddie murmurs, sitting beside the lump under Steve’s blankets. The lump does not reply. “Baby, you okay?”

“No,” it whines, and Eddie’s glad Steve has shoved his head under his pillow because Eddie can’t help cracking a smile. “I’m dying, and I’m a shitty boyfriend, and you’re going to dump me.”

Eddie scoffs. “The day I dump you is the day you send me to the funny farm,” he says, mock serious. “You do shit a lot though, babydoll.”

Steve whines louder. “It’s not fair! You eat expired hotdogs! Raw! Straight from the fridge!!”

“Guts of steel, Stevie! Your upper middle class suburban tummy would shrivel and die in the face of things I’ve eaten.”

“It’s shriveled and died already, thanks.”

Eddie laughs, and rubs his hand along Steve’s arm. He knows better than touching him anywhere else when Steve’s stomach is upset. But the fact that he’s in bed, under the covers, must mean the worst is over.

“You want me to get you anything?”

“New organs and a surgeon to put them in.”

“I was thinking more like water? Toast? Pepto?”

“A quick and painless death?”

“I’m afraid I can only offer you kisses and cuddles when you feel up for it. And the aforementioned consumable items.”

Steve’s head comes out from under the pillow and he squints at Eddie. His hair is standing up in wild spikes, and Eddie chews his lip to keep himself from laughing.

“Who the fuck says shit like aforementioned, you absolute dork.”

“You love me,” Eddie says, grinning.

Wrinkling his nose, Steve sighs, flopping back down on the bed. “I guess,” he admits, looking up at Eddie through his lashes with a little, miserable smile, and taking Eddie’s breath away. Even when he’s miserable and whiny, Steve remains the prettiest person Eddie’s ever had the luck to lay eyes on. “I guess I’ll take a water. And a kiss, if it’s not too much trouble.”

Eddie grins, leaning down. “Anything for you, princess.”

[texaschainsawmascara]

[chronically-izzzzle]

When you’re in the middle of an insane IBS flare but you’re trying to remain positive.

[emmaspersonaldiary]

[2birds1pencil]

love being recognized for my accomplishments 🥇

[savs-sims98]

Ya I think it’s canon that Sylvannah has IBS😅 Astarion pokes fun at first, but now he will carry he around and rub her stomach for her.

I just picture Sylvannah laying on a bed roll one day sick. Astarion explains to the group what is wrong and everyone comes up with their own remedy to help🌿🥹

[naturegirl555]

Ibs flare ups cause you to say things like all shits no giggles.

[bunsoir]

My tummy hurts n I’m not being brave about it

[wolrith]

i havent posted in a while because i cant really be assed to be on socials rn. anyways this is a fun lil thing and my favorite thing is music i listen to so here's an excuse to talk about it

[literal-ray-of-sunshine]

“Hot people have tummy issues” I chant to myself every time I’m glued to the toilet

[texaschainsawmascara]

[lingle-dingle]

I must be incredibly sexy because goddamn do I be shittin.

[sleepystawbie]

What a night to have stress induced IBS

[candies-and-eyeliner]

Hot girls carry imodium in their purse

[valiantvillain]

I do so love ending a trip to the farmer's market early bc my bowels decided to be a bitch. At least I found an air-conditioned public bathroom for my trouble.

[iffnotwinter]

Bitches will have the tummy hurt disorder then be like why tummy hurt :(