#HOBBER MAN

[koustavmalick2019-blog]

HOBER MAN SERIES WILL LINK WITH ZERO WEB : AGE OF FORBIDDEN 5 SERIES IN THE COMING YEAR OF FEBRUARY IN 2024 IN 14TH FEB.

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[queen-kassiopeia-the-5th]

Personal opinion, but Radiants shouldn't have to be able to heal old wounds, even with stormlight.

During the books we see Lopen regrew his arm, Gaz regrew his eye, Hobber reanimating his legs after being slashed by Szeth in the previous book. All wounds are months/years old but they heal them the moment they become Radiants and could breath in stormlight themselves.

In my opinion it shouldn't be possible. They should only be able to patch wounds they got after they became Radiants. Renarin can only heal wounds on others if they are relatively new, there is a time bracket during which his powers are effective. I think it should be the same for Radiants healing themselves.

Now, I know what some of you want to say. The king of the Reshi isles, who was born a woman but always saw himself as a man - operating under the title King even before - became physically male when bonding a Spren. So the bond turns you into the perception of yourself, how you view yourself in a way - Lopen sees himself as still having two arms etc.

But I still think it's a cheaper writearound. Because think of it. These people became Radiant, but they still have a disability, an injury, and they cam still kick ass despite it! Lopen wearing a fake arm he can send as a projectile, Gaz hiding extra gems in his eye socket a la Aemond Targarian, for extra stormlight, Hobbs flying instead of wlaking, kind of like Rysn's Fabrial enfused wheelchair.

Kaladin can't get rid of his slave brands, because they are part of how he percieves himself now, the Shash is the symbol he is assossiated with, but he also hates them, so I don't get why they don't heal, too.

I think it would be better if this waan't one of the Radiant perks, and we got to see these characters navigating theur powers with their disabilities and turning them into advantages.

[ladystoneboobs]

possibly incomplete list of asoiaf characters described as having red or even "ginger" hair (or red-gold as opposed to red-brown or ghiscari red-black), never auburn:

mycah, the butcher's boy*

beric dondarrion (red-gold hair)*

lharys, member of the three stooges men-at-arms (wild rust-colored hair)**

unnamed and unfortunate mother of robert baratheon's doomed youngest child, barra (light red-haired mother of black-haired baby)*

tomard aka "fat tom", stark guardsman (with his ginger whiskers)*

horas "horror" redwyne (orange hair)*

hobber "slobber" redwyne (orange hair)*

unnamed red-haired whore leaning out a window the day of ned's execution (presumably not the same as above since she was joking about the king's death)*

melisandre of asshai (deep burnished copper. red and terrible and red.)*

a man called jaqen h'ghar (red on one side, white on the other)*

pug-nosed dancy from chataya's brothel (described as red-haired by tyrion in acok but honey-blonde in asos, so presumably hair dye must have been involved between those book mentions.)**

addam marbrand (hair the same copper color as his horse's mane)*

"ginger-headed" maester frenken*

unnamed beardless ginger youth among theon's crew at winterfell*

ygritte, a spearwife "kissed-by-fire" (bright red)*

arryk aka "left" or "right", lady olenna's red-mustached guardsman*

erryk aka "left" or "right", lady olenna's other, identical, red-mustached guardsman*

lord paxter redwyne (tufts of orange hair)**

anguy the archer of the bwb*

a red-bearded karstark rapist dead in a crow cage at stoney sept*

tansy, innkeeper of the peach in stoney sept*

meryn trant (rust-red hair)*

"red" ronnet connington

mero, "the titan's bastard", former commander of the second sons (bushy red-gold beard)

a red-headed soldier who came with stannis to the wall

shadrich "the mad mouse" (bristly orange hair)*

lord rykker's red-mustached maester

marwyn belmore, lysa's former guard captain (ginger-headed)*

lord benedar belmore with a beard that was "a ginger-grey horror"*

lord orton merryweather (reddish-orange hair)

"the red oarsman", one of euron greyoy's followers (fiery red hair)

unnamed red-haired sailor arriving at port in braavos*

lord clement piper

and his son lewys "little lew" piper, who served as squire to jaime lannister in the riverlands

unnamed red-haired youth who first escaped northward with varamyr from the battle at the wall

one of illyrio's washerwomen (dull red hair)**

jon connington (once red hair gone to grey, still red at the roots and eyebrows even when the rest was dyed blue. also had a bright red beard as a younger man.)**

rolly "duck" duckfield (a shock of orange hair)**

a young man among the wildling refugees at mole's town whose red hair reminded jon of ygritte*

the "sunset kingdoms" girl raped by tyrion in the brothel where he was captured by jorah**

hagen's daughter, only other woman among asha greyjoy's crew

roggon rustbeard, one of asha's men

mully of the nw (greasy orange hair)*

bloodbeard, commander of the company of the cat (fiery red whiskers)

"ginger" jack, a toungeless sellsword of the windblown sent to dany, face nearly covered by his bristly, orange beard

gerrick kingsblood*

and his son*

and gerrick's daughter #1*

and gerrick's daughter #2*

and gerrick's daughter #3*

ronald storm, son of ronnet connington

one of the 7 "choicest" enslaved girls from the yunkish ship who were sacrificed by victarion (red-gold hair)

an enslaved redhead boy in line for a well, asking tyrion about dany**

nail, apprentice to hammer, the armorer for the second sons**

maester tybald, redhaired maester from the dreadfort serving arnolf karstark

valena toland, heiress to ghost hill (bright red hair)

teora toland, valena's younger sister with the same hair

uther shett, knight arriving for sweetrobin's tourney (ginger-haired and whiskered)*

*characters whose hair is described in the povs of starks (or jon snow) who only use the terms auburn or red-brown for catelyn, robb, sansa etc. and do not compare said characters to said tully-haired relations

**characters whose hair is described by tyrion lannister, who spent significant time with sansa and exclusively referred to her hair as auburn (without anyone else telling him her hair color as catelyn told brienne)

the only asoiaf characters ever described as having auburn hair:

catelyn tully stark

robb stark (red-brown/auburn tully hair "so like" his mother's, with a beard redder than his hair)

sansa stark (auburn hair lighter than her mother's, most reddish glowing in candlelight)

brandon "bran" stark (hair not bright red enough for him to distinguish himself from young benjen at first glance in a weirwood flashback)

rickon stark

brynden "the blackfish" tully (once auburn hair gone to grey)

edmure tully (auburn hair with a fiery beard, likely brighter than his hair like robb's)

lysa tully arryn baelish

known tully descendants never described as having auburn hair

arya stark (darker brown stark-colored hair)

hoster tully (hair and beard gone from brown to brown streaked with grey to white as snow)

robert "sweetrobin" arryn (fine brown hair, thought by sansa to be his best feature)

fun fact: the only other character that i can find to ever even be descibed as having red-brown hair in the main series is rowan, one of the spearwives who accompanied mance on his mission to winterfell. (described by theon, who had psychological reasons not to think of any hair-resemblance to robb and co.)

tl;dr i suppose my point here is that auburn hair in the real world may be a term thrown around wildly as a fancier way of saying red hair, but grrm and his westerosi creations seem to keep to a much more specific (true) definition. not just specific, almost entirely unique to a certain family, a weird mutation passing down their line somewhat inexplicably, like the magic platinum hair of the targaryens. (ned stark's 4 tully-haired kids being sorta like alicent hightower's 4 targ-haired kids where nobody can really explain why it was so dominant.) except it's actually more unique to the tullys than either black hair to the baratheons or silver hair to the targaryens, with the velaryons also having valyrian hair as well as some people in the essosi free cities too. which i guess makes rowan the wildling the equalivent of an unknown dragonseed or a lysene woman who could pass as a targ, and regular brown-haired hoster and sweetrobin the equivalent of regular blonde-haired alysanne and alyssa targaryen. so the next time someone calls the tullys lame or whatever, just remember that in-universe they're actually more special than the dragonriders, at least hairwise.

[nevertheless-moving]

Continued from this au, where Kaladin gets strung up for a highstorm instead of thrown in prison during Words of Radiance, inspired by @gnecrognomicon

"The King ordered-"

Adolin rolled his eyes. "I am the King's cousin, you seriously believe I would go against his word and cut this man free? In front of a crowd of witnesses?" His tone somehow grew even haughtier the longer he talked.

"Now step back, I said l will speak with him alone."

The guards reluctantly moved away, and the prince stepped close enough that Kaladin could hear his low whisper.

"Say the word and I'll cut you free."

Kaladin blinked, looking at Adolin. He saw only open sincerity.

"...You're serious," Kaladin said.

"Sureblood is a minute's gallop away. I know you're not comfortable on horses, but a Rhysadium is different, he would never throw someone against my wishes. His saddlebags are already packed with a month's supply of food, not to mention enough bromes to hire passage on any ship in any port."

"Ship?" Kaladin asked, bewildered, but the princeling just kept going.

"We can make it to a stable in the outercamps before the stormwall hits. The moment the riddens start, we'll be gone - most won't be able to get their mounts out as early as us."

"Us?"

"Of course, they won't dare to shoot if I'm in the saddle, and anyway Sureblood wouldn't ride without me. I'll return once I see you safe to a port, there will be a punishment but -"

"Brightlord-" Kaladin said quietly. He was sure his expression was doing something strange. Hopefully the guards wouldn't read too much into it.

"Oh! A copy of your writ of freedom is also in the saddlebags - and your Horneater cook packed the meals! And when I say I packed enough bromes to hire a ship, I meant emeralds. You could buy a ship. You'd never have to work a day in your life, if you didn't want."

"Princeling, this is very -"

"Renarin will look after your men until I return, he won't let Elhokar or any of the Highprinces touch them, I swear. I wasn't able to get a spanreed, not without Aunt Navani noticing, but you should be able to hire one easily enough- I'll support your men in leaving the camps, it -"

"Adolin."

The prince finally stopped.

Kaladin took a deep breath, willing himself not to pull in stormlight to help with his throbbing headache. "I appreciate your willingness, I really do."

And he did, to his surprise. He was oddly touched by how much thought the brightlord had clearly put into the escape attempt. This wasn't a spur of the moment idea. Not to mention, there would no gain in it for Adolin, and quite a lot of risk.

"We can do it," Adolin said desperately. "Ten heartbeats and you'll be free. I can even get the soulcast manacle off completely, once we stop and rest, weaken it with -"

Kaladin laughed, the sound shocking Adolin into quiet again, the sound shocking even himself.

"I'll be alright, princeling." He smiled slightly, despite himself. "But thank you. Sorry to waste all your planning."

Adolin narrowed his eyes. "You swear it? This isn't a dramatic suicide attempt, after your earlier, equally dramatic ones failed?"

"I already decided against that, ages ago."

For some reason, the prince didn't seem comforted. The lines around his eyes tightened further.

"Your vow," he insisted.

Kaladin hesitated a moment, and he could see Adolin's right hand twitching to the side.

"I'm not going to promise I won't die," he said, exasperated. "You're a soldier, you know that there's no guarantees. I could get unlucky."

He lacked the delirious, instinctive confidence he felt last time he went into the storm. But he could feel the cool press of spheres, each from a different one of his men, sewn to the inside of his shirt by Hobber. So much more than last highstorm.

It had been difficult to breathe, in the worst of the tumult, but he also had a much better grasp on his powers this time, thanks to training with Sigzil, Rock, and Lopen. He should be able to draw in more than enough.

"I have...better reason then most to believe I'll survive this. I'll be alright. I'm not running."

Syl stood next to Adolin's shoulder. She had listened to the whole speech with thinly veiled wonder. Even though he knew she would be devastated if he broke his oath to flee, she had gasped and looked pleadingly at the mention of a ship. Kaladin smiled at her.

The prince glanced suspiciously at the air next to him, then started visibly.

Syl, in girlish form, giggled, sticking out her tongue, then turned into a ribbon of light, moving straight at the prince, causing him to blink as his yellow and black hair was shifted softly in the breeze.

She made a ring around Kaladins head, then zipped up, joining her cousins playing in the eddies above, the winds just beginning to pick up, sky growing dark.

It wouldn't be long now.

Adolin watched her go with a curious expression, then cocked his head at Kaladin.

"Stormblessed, huh?"

Kaladin just shrugged in reply. Well, he tried to anyway. The chains didn't have much give.

"Adolin, I gave my word that I'd see this through."

Adolin finally slumped, stepping back.

"Your men didn't think you'd run either. This still isn't right even if you do have... something on your side."

Kaladin didn't try and shrug again.

[miejcowydebil]

dude... when i thought hobber died, the first man kaladin saved, and then his crying voice "im no soldier anymore captain" IM TELLING YOU TEARS IN MY EYES

[chicaotaku-fanfics]

There’s Three of You?!

What if the Halstead Brothers had a baby sister?

No, no one asked me to write this. Yes, I thought about all this. Yes, I’m doing listening excersizes (just like in junior high aaaaaaalllllll over again) for the dialogues.

Warnings: foul language, might be some medical inconsistencies.

CHAPTER 1

It had been a long day at the hospital. Lakeshore having no mercy on my ass with all the cases, consults, pop quizzes from the doctors, etc. Add to that the stress from the kind of asshole I had for an attending, Dr. Hobber… and it just becomes even crazzier. Anna Gorgon, a friend of mine from the hospital, recommended me to go and try Molly’s -a first responder’s bar owned by three firefighters from Firehouse 51: Hermann, Dawson and Otis-.

I agreed and she gave me an address, so I went back home, hopped in the shower, changed into some dark denim skinny jeans, a dark gray long-sleeved shirt, black leather jacket and black heeled boots. I got some light makeup, my earrings and matching heart necklace that Jay got me for my med school graduation, grabbed my purse with my keys, car keys, wallet, phone and headphones and left the apartment after locking the door on the way out.

I texted Jay to let him know I was on my way and see if we could catch up, but it went with no answer. Weird? No, that man was so dedicated to his job that I’d be surprised if he ever looked at his phone during office hours or while working on paperwork.

I drove to the bar, listening to my guilty pleasure when it comes to music: Reggeton, and parked a bit down the road, I quickly walked into the place to escape the night’s cold weather.

Upon entering, my eyes zeroed in on my older brother, but what I saw made me mad -the three owners were giving money to a big-sized man, who they had called Arthur-, but the worst part was hearing what that man said next.

“See uh… my man Jay here. He’s been assessing your business. We’ll talk numbers soon.” Son of a… he’s doing undercover jobs again! So that’s why our calls are practically seconds long and we have to text as business people. I thought as I heard the man speak and saw the owners faces darken, I knew I had to do something to save Jay. I sent a silent prayer to God and my mom to protect me, took a deep breath, walked up to him and started with my act.

“Hey Jay! What you doing here?” I asked him as I hug his shoulders from behind, Jay turned to look at me, first with surprise, and then with a «I’m-gonna-kill-you» face, I just continued with the act.

“Don’t look at me like that, I heard about this place from a friend at the hospital today and decided to come check it out.” I then turn to look at the bigger man. “Hi, I’m Marianne, Jay’s sister.” I extended my hand for him to shake, he did. “I understand that there’s an ongoing tension here…”, I then turned to look at the three people behind the bar. “You three own the place, don’t you?” The three of them nod, and I nod back to them.

Arthur seems confused, he looks between them and me. “Look, Arthur right?” He nods. “We don’t want any trouble, just like I’d like to think you don’t want any trouble… so, how about this? I put in the rest of the money for them tonight and you go on your merry way out of here? Sounds good?”

He seems to think about it and then smirks at me, from the corner of my eye I could see Jay mentally cursing me to hell and back. “Sounds good to me kiddo.” Said Arthur, so I smirked too. I let go of Jay’s shoulders for a minute, took out my wallet and gave him 500 dollars. Jay, and the firefighters looked surprised. “Hope this covers it.” I said, he took the money and smirked again towards me.

“It does… for now.” He said.

“Great! Have a good night.” I said with a sickly sweet tone of voice and a fake smile on my face.

As soon as the man is out of the bar, I turn to Jay, my expression is now serious, the three owners of the bar seem to have a mental whiplash, their expressions showing confusion and -in the case of the woman, Gaby if I’m not mistaken- betrayal, but in this precise moment I don’t care.

“Ok, he’s gone. I gotta talk to you mister. Right now.”

“The baby of the house and she thinks she can boss me around.” He said to the three firefighters.

“Now Jay.” I said, grabbing him from the neck of his shirt and pulling him towards the back corner of the bar which was empty, I could feel the eyes of the three members of Firehouse 51 on us, trying to eavesdrop into our conversation.

As soon as we make it to the corner, my Irish temper makes its appearance.

“You doing undercover gigs again? Are you shitting me Jay?” I whisper-yell to him.

“Why the hell’d you do that for? You do understand that man’s dangerous right?” his own temper making an apparition too.

“So what?” I give him an attitude.

“So you just introduced yourself to him as MY SISTER you dumbass? What were you thinking?!” he whisper-yells.

“I was thinking about saving your ungrateful ass from a hell of an uncomfortable situation.” I said, annoyed.

“That’s not the point Lilly! You just put yourself in unnecessary danger.” he said with his overprotective-big-brother voice.

“Please. Unnecessary danger? With you in charge? That’s like walking into the wolf’s den, with you being the Alpha of the pack.” I sassed him.

“I’m not in charge, Organized Crime is. And it is an unnecessary danger.” he said.

I start getting even more angry.

“Then why do you do it, huh? That’s, from what you’ve told me, Antonio’s sister. HE should be the one doing this gig, not you.” I said, my anger still showing.

“It’s not that simple. He’s in Intelligence, it’s not his case.” he explained.

“Yes it is!” I exclaimed, ignoring his second sentence.

“Look, I had to-” he started, I cut him off.

“You had to what Jay? Do it? No you didn’t and we both know it. You volunteered for this you… you self-sacrificing idiot.” I said to him.

Jay’s about to refute my statement, but I hug him, effectively shutting him up.

“Listen to me you knucklehead. You may be an Army vet, and a police detective… but first and foremost, you’re my brother Jay. That means that I’ll always worry about you, ok? I need you to understand that I can’t just be fine with you always putting yourself in these kind of situations.” I said, mad, but showing that I’m really worried.

I feel as all the fight leaves Jay’s body and he hugs me back.

“I’m sorry LilyBloom. I don’t want to worry you.” I sighed, and tightened my hold on him, he did the same.

“Want it or not, I’ll always worry about you Jay, you’re my big bro… it’s in the job description.” I said, with a soft and warm tone in my voice, my anger finally subsided.

“Just like it’s my job to worry about you baby sis.” he said with the same tone.

“Love you Jaybird.”

“Love you too LilyBloom.”

We separate and smile at each other, we feel the firefighters’ eyes on us, still trying to eavesdrop our conversation. With our smiles still in place, Jay wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I grab that hand with my own. We walk back to the bar and Jay gets some bills from his wallet and leaves them at the table, hugging me again as soon as he’s done.

“Sorry for whatever inconvenience that man has caused you… we promise to fix it. Right now we’ll get out of your hair.” I say, we both start making our way towards the door, but Dawson stops us.

“Wait! We cannot thank you enough for doing what you did for us just now.” she says to me.

I give them a small genuine smile, the kind that my brothers say makes me look cute.

“You can repay me by doing your very best everyday at 51.” I wink at them “Again. We’re sorry, we’ll be on our way.” I apologize again, Jay chuckles -he says I over apologize sometimes- and we leave.

“Wanna grab a drink at my place and stay the night? I kinda need my big bro with me tonight.” I say to him, he smiles and kisses my temple.

“Of course Lilypad, I’ll be delighted to have a sleepover with my baby sis at her apartment.” He says with a teasing smirk on his face and happiness in his voice, I lightly punch his side, he chuckles again. “I’ll escort you” He said, I nodded and we separated from our hug. We each got into our cars and Jay followed me all the way home.

Once there, we both changed into our pajamas, Jay started leaving some clothes in my apartment, and I started doing the same in his… mutual agreement between us, and sat down on the couch with our beers in hand. We ended up watching a movie and falling asleep cuddled on my livingroom’s couch.

Two months after the bar incident I received a call from Jay, asking me if I could help him out with something, I agreed… what I didn’t expect, was that I was gonna end up dressed in civilian clothes, with my brother’s bulletproof vest, my own gun -Jay had convinced me to buy and register to own one, as a way to «know-you’ll-be-able-to-protect-yourself-if-I’m-not-there» kinda deal for his peace of mind-, and my hospital bag (full of medical supplies, of course), hidden in the back room of Molly’s.

“If this doesn’t work, I’m gonna kill him.” I murmured to myself.

Just then, I heard the door to Molly’s open, I leaned into the window to take a peak, there stood Arthur, my brother and another lowlife thug. Arthur started talking to Gaby -yeah, we’re on a first name basis now-, taking a bottle of liquor and pouring it on the bar table, all while threatening her. Arthur then took out a lighter and threw it on the area where he had poured the alcohol, and it instantly caught fire, Gaby seemed scared, and then, Jay decided to play hero, hitting the man beside him, but not covering his six.

A shot was heard, I dropped my medical bag and opened the door, I knew I could get in trouble for I was about to say, but right now, Jay needed me.

“CPD drop your weapon!” I exclaimed, pointing my gun at Arthur, he turned to look at me with a shocked expression adorning his face.

“You said you were a doctor!” He said, confused. I smirk at him, allowing some arrogance to color my voice.

“And as you can very well guess… I lied.” I say, looking smug. Jay used my distraction to sneak up to Arthur and place the barrel of his gun on his temple.

“You’re under arrest.” Jay said calmly.

“Son of a bitch.” Arthur said, annoyed and angry at my brother.

“Drop the gun Arthur. Drop it or I swear I’m gonna make you eat it.” Jay said to Arthur, but the idiot refused to listen. Jay hits Arthur’s temple with the handle of his gun and the big man fell to the ground, stunned.

“You got my cuffs. Cuff him.” My brother orders, I nod and do as I was told. I ran back to the back room, grabbed my bag, and then to Jay, at the same time, I took out my phone and called 911.

“This is first year intern Dr. Lillian Halstead, I’m at Molly’s Bar. Shots fired at the police. My brother, Detective Jay Halstead, badge number 51163, is at the scene, he was shot on the shoulder, I’m starting first aid treatment. The suspects are down. I need two patrol cars for the arrest and an ambulance. Please, and hurry.”

I sat Jay down and carefully helped him remove his jacket and shirt, I started to treat his wound, Gaby came to us while I was checking for the bullet’s exit wound.

“You’re one lucky man Halstead. It’s a clean through and through. I’ll clean and patch it up, but you’ll need stitches, which I can’t do here, and a quick visit to the hospital.” Jay groaned at the mention of the hospital, I just rolled my eyes, taking out some gauze, disinfectant, and a patch. “Yeah, I know it’s not your favorite place, but it's for my peace of mind. Please.”

The police and ambulance arrived, Antonio leading the arrest, taking Arthur and the other man into custody, the other paramedics -I think the man’s name was Cesar, I’m not entirely sure- checked on Gaby and Jay once we were all outside. Antonio came to check what happened, and saw me wearing Jay’s vest. He kept his eyes on me for a minute, I immediately took it off. Just then, the man joined me in front of my brother.

“Since you completed the mission, you get to choose your next assignment.” Antonio said to my brother.

“Intelligence. I want Intelligence.” I shook my head, but just resigned to my fate of having my brother wanting to join not only the most elite unit in the police department, but also the one with the most dangerous missions.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Antonio said, before he left, I turned to him.

“Please do. He’ll make me go gray before my time otherwise.” I said, half joking, half being serious.

“Sure Lilly.” Dawson said to me with a small smile, ruffling my hair before he left.

Hermann, Mouch, Otis and Mills arrive just in time to see the police cars leave the premises.

“What happened here?” asked Hermann, we all turn to look at him.

“I saved your bar” Gaby said.

“She sure did.” Jay added, grabbed his jacket and got off the gurney, I grabbed his vest, my bag and just smiled at the firefighters. Now came the hard part of my job: convincing Jay to get his ass off to Lakeshore.

“C’mon Jay. Get in the ambo.” I said, he turned to look at me with a confused expression on his face.

“What? Why?” He asked, and I wanted to slap him upside the head right then and there.

“Oh, just because I want you to. You got shot, you idiot, why else?” I asked, the first part dripping with sarcasm.

“I’m fine Lilly.” he tried to argue with me. I’ll kill you Jay, don’t try me I thought.

I could see, out of the corner of my eye, Mouch, Hermann, Mills, Otis, and Gabby turn to us.

“Like Hell you are, I heard you grunt when you took that bullet. Get in the ambo.” I ordered again.

“I can drive.” Is this idiot for real?! I thought while giving my brother a death-stare.

“Jay. Get. In. The. Ambulance.” I said, emphasizing every word as a command.

“I’m fine!” He exclaimed, my Irish temper came to life once again.

“Jason Joel Halstead I swear to God! Get in the ambulance, we’re going to Lakeshore to get that shoulder checked.” I ordered him again, Jay, honest to God, smirked at me.

“You really think that just because you’re using my full name it’ll have an effect on me, Lillian Marianne Haltead?” He challenged. The fuck you think you are? I’ll kill you Halstead.

“For the love of God Jay. Just get in the ambo. Stop being stubborn.” I said, frustrated and two seconds away from smacking the back of his head. Hard.

The paramedics, firefighters and even Antonio -the last one trying to do it discreetly, but failing tremendously- are all watching the entire exchange between us. As we argue, I can tell Jay is just holding back his laughter at this point, since getting a rise out of me -his baby sister- seems to be his favorite hobby.

Meanwhile, Heaven knows I’m trying my best not to strangle him where he stands.

“Are you even listening to me Jay? This is serious! I know you don’t like hospitals, but we need to get that checked.” I told him. He shook his head and gave me a small smile.

“Yes. Yes. Ok, let’s go.” He said. I had opened my mouth to argue again but close it with an audible click. I place the palm of my hand on his forehead, then on mine to compare our body temperatures.

“Are you sick? Or maybe the bullet did hit somewhere major?” I asked him, concerned and confused.

“No I’m not sick. Why?” He asked, a smirk on his face.

“You never listen to me.” I state matter-of-factly.

“Of course I do.” He says matter-of-factly, I snort, he gives me a confused look.

“I’ve known you since the day I was born Jay. No you don’t.” I say, grabbing my bag and his vest again, and making our way to the ambo, the snickers and giggles of everyone present watching our argument in the background.

They can laugh all they want, I’m still gonna worry about him.

[currymanganese]

O GOD NO, NOT MY BOY TARAVANGIAN ☹

Edit: nvm he'll be alright - I guess???

2nd Edit: Bruh....What the hell's going on?!

3rd Edit: Ngl, they could've really used Ym's skillset in the squad, oh well....🥴

4th Edit: "....mother's soul."

5th Edit: Oh God no! Not my boy Hobber!!!!

6th Edit: Oh Moash...I'm so sorry 😢

7th Edit: Kaladin not listening to Syl about this, this is not going to end well... 😐

8th Edit:

Dear Dalinar,

Dalinar, Dalinar, Dalinar...At your big age! I'm not mad........

I'm disappointed. Now, Navani said your wife wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box and she also said that you did not share this quality, but I think Navani just didn't want to hurt your feelings. I'm convinced you and the dearly departed were equally yoked in that aspect. You yourself have admitted that you aren't cut out for politics, and you supposedly hate the man you once were and yet somehow now find yourself going 2 for 2 with trusting decidedly untrustworthy men who were your besties back when your character was less than stellar by your own account. You almost died the last time you gave backstabber #1 the benefit of the doubt, what are you doing? You might as well hang a sign that says, 'Ned Stark Me!🥰' around your neck. Who's Ned Stark? Nevermind, I digress, don't worry about it.

P.S. If Lift dies it'll be my villain origin story!

9th Edit: Pour one out for my girl Pai - you're a real one 😔🙏🏽

10th Edit: *Taravangian invents eugenics*

Taravangian about Taravangian:

11th Edit: Also Taravangian about Taravangian:

12th Edit: Just started Oathbringer....Palona saying, "well, that's one problem solved," and everybody else in the room navel-gazing, avoiding eye-contact, whistling and twiddling their thumbs, but quietly thinking:

You know what Palona? You're so right 🥴

13th Edit: Dalinar grateful for Taravangian's pledge of support 😑

Me:

14th Edit: Dalinar being awkward and somewhat annoyed with his wife to be showing affection and concern for him before a battle (while keeping Navani's prayer in his pocket) is giving Charles x Diana & Camilla, omg I can't - 😬

15th Edit: Evi girl I'm sorry for speaking ill of you in the 8th Edit! 😭

16th Edit: O GOD NO NOT THE HORSE, DALINAR!

17th Edit: All these heads of state shutting down Dalinar's attempts at forming an alliance is so funny and predictable to me. I mean if the orphan crushing machine piped up one day about becoming UN General Secretary I'd have my doubts too...

[lost-boys-chapter]

I am continuing with the sa reread!! hopefully it'll speed up now bc the bartending ✨️chaos season✨️ (aka the euros) is over, so I should have more time. also am on holiday this week and convinced I can get through the entirety of twok by saturday. I'm almost to part 3. my thoughts are as follows:

who are the three guys in the ishikk interlude? I say this, knowing 2/3 of the answer. one of them is galladon, right? and another is demoux? I know one if them is the nale lookalike mentioned in the sa5 interlude preview? do we have any more info on why they're looking for hoid yet? I vaguely remember these three always confusing me.

are the epigraphs for p2 the letter from hoid to frost? the 'old friend' threw me off bc that's how sazed refers to everyone in tlm, but I'm increasingly sure it makes sense that it's hoid.

also, GOD, dalinar and adolin's opening chapters are boring. ik they end up being two of my faves in the rest of the series so I've been slogging through them but they just seem to....not be doing a lot. obviously a lot of the point of their chapters is that the vengeance pact is becoming long and drawn out, and more about sport than anything else, so it kind of makes sense thematically. but still, doesn't feel like there's a lot to sink my teeth into.

relatedly, increasingly it does feel like kaladin is the Personality Hire of the original pov characters. like, he's got a lot less to say in terms of worldbuilding and setup for the general arc of the first half than shallan and dalinar, but he's the only real character who you care about enough to sink your teeth into the plot and properly root for on first read. I definitely felt that way to begin with and I still feel so on reread, so. you can also quite easily see him becoming marginally less relevant in later books so I wonder if part of it really is that he's just the first character you can really begin to love in this series. not saying I don't care for him in later books, obviously. but idk just a thought

rock my beloved !! I had completely forgotten he'd become a bridgeman by putting chull dung in sadeas' soup LMAO he's my favorite ever. also, when him and teft were asking each other's names and teft asked him what his real name was, I immediately said, out loud, 'numuhukumakiaki'aialunamor.' not sure what it says that I remembered this but forgot other characters' entire existence.

the other bridgemen make me 🥰🥰🥰 also. it surprises me on reread that sigzil was one of kaladin's biggest critics to begin with. it reads as kind of weird to me but I suppose the realities of bridgeman life would strip the fundamentals of anyone's character. still, I'm yet to read the sunlit man and we know how much I've forgotten regardless so maybe I've been shaped by fandom perception a little too much.

dunny :( I've not got to the bit where he dies yet but I remember his being the bridgeman death that hurt the most in twok so every time he shows up I get a fun burst of sadness. also for some reason I thought it was hobber who originally almost died, not leyten, but maybe I'm right and just haven't gotten to that part yet lol.

just remembered that lopen exists too. looking forward to him showing up.

and syl!! I love her so much, it's cool in retrospect to see what spren lose and how they slowly regain their sentience while moving into the physical realm to form a bond. seeing her confused about understanding abstract concepts is great. I was listening to the wind and truth predictions shardcast the other day and someone came up with a theory that the way windrunners are recruited might be turned on its head in era 2. in retrospect that would be super cool to see.

speaking of, that episode of shardcast also convinced me that syladin is a possibility, which ruined my day.

unrelatedly: navani is such a badass, that text post that's going around that's like 'navani really showed up at the shattered plains and immediately told dalinar that her son is a loser' is so so real lol. I don't think I originally liked her in twok bc I didn't understand her... purpose, I guess? this time around I'm like 😍😍 mine scientist lady beloved.

also, could the stormfather really not think of a better way to investigate a possible bond than random prophetic visions? though the one we see onscreen first with the weird midnight creatures is very cool in retrospective.

regarding flashbacks: I'm not super invested in kaladin's past, once you've read it once it's not difficult to remember what happens so I'm pretty much just skimming. but I think rereading it a few years older makes it a lot easier to understand that lirin is a far more complex character than I originally thought, esp regarding row. obviously he's got kaladin's best interests in mind, but I feel like his moral reasoning is a lot clearer on reread. I don't think hes a great person, but i dont think hes necessarily more flawed than a lot of other main characters. I don't exactly remember what happens in row but I remember he gets... worse. I'm interested to see how my opinion changes.

and finally on a meta note: I know the first arc is supposed to thematically parallel a ketek, which I remember being able to spot elements of between wor and row. I'm super curious to see if I can spot anything in twok which might be paralleled in wind and truth. I do think I thought of smth regarding syl earlier but I forgot what it was 🫠-- maybe something go do with the recreance questions we're hoping to get answered?

this has been a very long post for which I am sorry but I'm open to discussion points!! would love to hear people's thoughts on my thoughts lol. will inevitably be back with more lukewarm takes

[gildedicicle]

So, I've reached Oathbringer for my third or fourth reread, and have just finished Chapter 37, The Last Time We March. As far as I remember, it is the only chapter in the series from Lunamor's PoV. And it's just so, SO good!

Even though I'm sure that Rock is widely loved by the fandom, he isn't really a character that is often spoken of by fans, and I think that it's because he largely feels like comic relief. He's loud and boisterous, often seen delivering playful insults to the other men of Bridge Four, as well as being a non-combatant. While he is undeniably part of their core, their very soul, and often provides wisdom, he is easily sidelined by other characters im the crew.

But then comes this chapter, and just... Everything about it.

It's about the way he understands people. The way he sees the needs of his fellows, and readily adapts to meet them. It's about the way he is willing to accept the greatness of something unknown, even if it defies long held traditions he holds dear, as is shown with Punio and the shiki(?). It is about how he knows and accepts Renarin's need not to be pushed into talking, but accepted and guided into understanding himself better. It is about how he helps Skar reach his potential. It's about his care for Hobber, whom he considers a subpar cook, but still wants as an assistant, and how he desires for him to suck in the Stormlight, and his pride in the man when he manages to do just that. It's about his respect for the spren. About his way of speech. About his deep love for his family, both the ones of his blood, and the ones of his burdens.

It's about how he knows that the most important tenet of war is understanding your enemy. Even if the enemy is his friends, and the battle is about how to best serve them cold drinks and warm stew, after a long day spent claiming the skies.

[agentrouka-blog]

I actually find it sweet that Alayne and Myranda didn't made fun of Wallace stutter. Alayne even helped him. Also during the feast he tried to make Alayne laugh like his nephew but failed to do. Alayne then leads the conversation to balance the situation. In this case a maiden helping and rescuing a knight. I could picture a scenario where Jon is dancing with Sansa but feeling awkward while Sansa tried to ease the tension.

Yes, I really like the interaction between them, and what it likely leads up to. Sansa isn't particularly impressed with him, but she is very much trying to take the pressure off for him.

Ser Wallace reddened. "I am no more a s-squire, my lady. My n-nephew knows full well that I was k-k-kni-k-k-kni—" "Dubbed?" Alayne suggested gently. "Dubbed," said Wallace Waynwood, gratefully. Robb would be his age, if he were still alive, she could not help but think, but Robb died a king, and this is just a boy. (...) After that Ser Roland Waynwood swept her up and made her laugh with mocking comments about half the other knights in the hall. His uncle Wallace took a turn as well and tried to do the same, but the words would not come. Alayne finally took pity on him and began to chatter happily, to spare him the embarrassment. When the dance was done she excused herself, and went back to her place to have a drink of wine. (TWOW, Alayne I)

Sansa, who cares a lot for social graces, tends to be a bit judgy when it comes to others lacking the talent for them:

Podrick Payne had changed as well, and looked almost a proper squire for once, although a rather large red pimple in the fold beside his nose spoiled the effect of his splendid purple, white, and gold raiment. He is such a timid boy. Sansa had been wary of Tyrion's squire at first; he was a Payne, cousin to Ser Ilyn Payne who had taken her father's head off. However, she'd soon come to realize that Pod was as frightened of her as she was of his cousin. Whenever she spoke to him, he turned the most alarming shade of red.

"Are purple, gold, and white the colors of House Payne, Podrick?" she asked him politely. (ASOS, Sansa IV)

She is unfailingly polite in those cases and tries to ease the flow of the social interaction.

But Sansa does have a bit of a wicked streak that goes back to her friendship with Jeyne and continues with Margaery and later Myranda, when it comes to making fun of others. (Arya certainly remembers her own unkind nickname, which Sansa may not have used but certainly tolerated.)

 Arya had seen them in the bailey a hundred times; the Redwyne twins, Ser Horas and Ser Hobber, homely youths with orange hair and square, freckled faces. Sansa and Jeyne Poole used to call them Ser Horror and Ser Slobber, and giggle whenever they caught sight of them. They did not look funny now. (AGOT, Arya V)

She even does it herself at Harry:

"Saffron?" Alayne tried not to laugh. "Truly?"

Ser Harrold had the grace to blush. "Her father says she is more precious to him than gold. He's rich, the richest man in Gulltown. A fortune in spices."

"What will you name the babe?" she asked. "Cinnamon if she's a girl? Cloves if he's a boy?"

That almost made him stumble. "My lady japes." (...)

"Little pointy beard and all?" Alayne laughed. (...) "I hope you joust better than you talk." For a moment he looked shocked. But as the song was ending, he burst into a laugh. "No one told me you were clever."

Sansa's is not above transcending the rules of courtesy but her own mockery is usually aimed at people at or above her own status. We never see her mock or laugh at someone below her station. She never laughs at Wallace even when Roland mocks him, because his "flaw" is fully outside his own control. Harry, though, is fair game because he's The Heir and behaved rudely toward her.

Wallace seems like the kind of guy who - like Podrick Payne - she is still prone to underestimating because they don't create an impressive image at first glance. She pities Podrick, but Brienne gets to see his ingenuity and bravery. Sansa is kind to Wallace but she is likely to come to admire him and learn to look closer beyond just offering a smooth path past a superficial weakness. I think Wallace will do something impressive, like @powderpowderblue has speculated!

Here's hoping that Sansa will take that insight into the future and step up a bit more to curb instances of mean-spirited mockery when she has the power to do it.

Though if she and Jon stumble over an especially mockable enemy together, all bets are likely off.

~~~

Your image of Jon on the dance floor is making me laugh!

Sansa: Awww, Jon is being awkward and sullen, I bet he hates dancing. Let me make some light conversation to ease his nerves!

Jon:

"Oh," said Sansa Jon. I am talking to him her, and he's she's touching me, he's she's holding my arm and touching me. (ASOS, Sansa I TWOW, The Awkward Bastard)

Sansa: Poor little lamby, he really can't wait for this social situation to end. I'll do the talking for both of us to spare him this torment.

[hussein-alfa]

1. Mother + son + cat 2. Sleeping ass + cat 3. Sleeping girl on couch 4. Sleeping girl in the garden 5. Sleeping child + cow 6. Café in Cairo 7. Snow + woman + Morocco 8. Snow + child 9. Ahwar 10. Head + hair 11. Licking shoulder 12. Licking Ice cream 13. Killing shadow 14. Children + gun game 15. Children + street phone 16. The kiss 17. Bathtub + Gaza 18. Pray + Petrol 19. Dad smoking 20. The pain of the herd 21. The freedom of the herd 22. Long hair 23. Hobber + the woman + the window 24. Hobber + the lovers 25. Autumn of Uppsala 26. The clouds of Malmö 27. Horses of Gävle 28. Two dead are kissing 29. Two naked girls run in darkness 30. Ass wants car 31. Watching through ass 32. Woman + cat + Iraq 33. The stupid bird 34. Girl blowing smoke 35. Loneliness 36. Blackness 37. Girl scrolling 38. Girl in a garderob 39. Antarctica 40. Men + the river 41. The man + the spider 42. Reading 43. Wine 44. I forget it 45. I forget it 46. I forget it 47. I forget it.

[phishphin]

OKAY!! This got a little more traction than I thought it would, so I thought I'd add some context to some of these songs! My reasons for adding, lyrical analysis and so on. (I'm not at ALL trying to avoid doing my assignments no not at all :>>>) This is going to be kind of long so strap in!!!!

1. Universal Soldier, Buffy Sainte-Marie Most of these lyrics are very Kaladin, upon listening this becomes very obvious, but I'll pick some of my favorites.

"He's all of 31 and he's only 17/ He's been a soldier for a thousand years" Kaladin starts out his career in the military incredibly young, and in Cenn's chapter everyone is appalled at how young but still in control of himself he is. This reaction to Kaladin's age continues throughout basically every book (most notably I think when Teft begins speaking with him, as well as the way Dalinar interacts with him). He's incredibly mature for his age, but the fact that he's still at most 19 shines through in some of his most pressing/traumatic moments. I think specifically of this specific moment in Oathbringer, where he's leaning over Adolin's body in Shadesmar:

“You know what you need to do. “I … can’t,” Kaladin finally whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I can’t lose him, but … oh, Almighty … I can’t save him.” Kaladin bowed his head, sagging forward, trembling. He couldn’t say those Words.” (I'm sorry! :))

"And he knows he shouldn't kill,/ and he knows he always will."

This is a pretty obvious lyric I think, at multiple points throughout the books Kaladin struggles with the fact that he was raised to be a doctor and surgeon, yet now his job, for better or for worse, is to do the opposite. That despite how he was raised, he's good at fighting and how his father despises it.

"And he's fighting for Canada, he's fighting for France/ He's fighting for the USA/ And he's fighting for the/ Russians and he's fighting for Japan/ And he thinks we'll put an end to war this way"

This lyric in part reminds me specifically of Kaladin's journey in TWoK and WoR. He fights in both Amaram's and Sadeas' armies (albeit against his will), then fights for Dalinar in an attempt to put an end to the evils Sadeas has committed against the bridgemen (and Dalinar, and Roshar, and and and etc.)

"Without him, Caesar would have stood alone/ He's the one who gives his body as the weapon of the war/ And without him all this killing can't go on"

So! Kaladin is quite literally the biggest trump card/pawn in all of the books. He gets traded and tossed around (like in the lyric above). One of the biggest reasons Dalinar can get anything done in WoR is because he has Kaladin and his bridgemen to rely on, Kaladin quite literally is the weapon. He killed Shallan's brother (unknowingly) as his one of his first heroic acts (which can be debated as to whether it actually was heroic or not- I would say his actual first heroic act was volunteering to go join Amaram's troops with Tien, but I digress) which now looking back on it and knowing who Helaran Davar was.. Well, you get my point.

2. Five Years, David Bowie

"I never though I'd need so many people"

Bridge Four. The Kholin family. Yeah.

"A soldier with a broken arm/ Fixed his stare to the wheels of a Cadilac"

All of the injured soldiers from Bridge Four; Hobber, Lopen, Dabbid. This imagery just evokes the same feeling I got during the scene when all of the bridgemen became Kaladin's squires and started to gain their powers (while some of them took a little longer than others, or believed they couldn't).

"I think I saw you in an ice cream parlor/ Drinking milk shalkes, cold and long/ Smiling and waving and looking so fine"

This reminded me of Kaladin's assorted flashbacks to Tien and his childhood. I also just believe that Kaladin should visit an ice cream parlor, the man deserves it. He should've been at the club HE SHOULD'VE BEEN AT CARVEL! DAIRY QUEEN! Insert ice cream store chain here. Anyways.

"And it was cold, and it rained, so I felt like an actor/ And I thought of 'ma and I wanted to get back there"

In the first part of this lyric I'm reminded of RoW, Chapter 80:

“The image of the dog in the rain felt far too familiar to Kaladin. Far too personal.”

And the latter half reminds me of the scene of Kal, Tien, and Hesina lying on their roof in the rain. 3. Brain Damage, Pink Floyd This song just reminds of of Taravangian and him sliding between intelligent madness and stupid empathy. I'll just list the lyrics for this because most of them are quite obvious.

"And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too/ I'll see you on the dark side of the moon"

"The lunatic is in my head/ You raise the blade/ You make the change."

^^These two remind me specifically of Taravangian's interactions with Dalinar.

"You lock the door/ And throw away the key/ There's someone in my head but it's not me"

4. Lucky, Radiohead

"Pull me out of the air crash/ Pull me out of the lake/ 'Cause I'm your superhero/ We are standing on the edge"

This lyric is incredibly reminiscent of how Bridge Four treated Kaladin when he started to train them while still working in Sadeas' bridge crews. Especially with how poor Kaladin's mental health was in comparison to how the bridgemen treated him (Cough cough, Teft). They were constantly in danger, always on the edge of death (whether it was when Kaladin was literally on deaths door after being tossed out in the highstorm, or being sent to die on bridge runs).

"The head of state, has called for me, by name/ But I don't have time for him"

Yeah, this happens to Kaladin at least once a book, if not more.

"It's gonna be a glorious day!/ I feel my luck could change"

AND FOR MY BOON! (Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up what are you doing shut up shut up shut up shut up)

5. Bigmouth Strikes Again, The Smiths

All I have to say is Morrissey had no idea how Joan of Arc felt, but Kaladin Stormblessed sure as braize does.

6. Lover, You Should've Come Over, Jeff Buckley

Hear me out. This song to me is very... Dalinar. Would he listen to it? Only while alone, and he wouldn't admit to it (unless we're talking post Oathbringer Dalinar).

"Maybe I'm too young/ To keep good love from going wrong/ But tonight you're on my mind/ So.. you'll never know/ Broken down and hungry for your love/ With no way to feed it"

Young Dalinar (feral Dalinar? Might I say) while married to Evi knew he still was in love with Navani. But he couldn't do anything about it. To me, it seemed that Dalinar did love Evi, but not as a wife, not in the same way that Evi loved him. Evi gave him Adolin and then Renarin, and nearing the end of their time together it was clear he respected her and that they were close in the ways they had to be.

But he still wanted Navani, and knew he couldn't have her (that's what happens when you take the L and your brother marries your first love. Dalinar's biggest L perhaps?).

"Sometimes a man gets carried away/ When he feels like should be having his fun/ Much too blind to the see the damage he's done/ Sometime a man must awake to find that/ Really has no one" Dalinar gets carried away many times in his youth. Every flashback of him in Oathbringer is him just playing a first person shooter irl no guns all sword. Part of that was the thrill, but I think what made him so susceptible to Odium and the thrill was the fact that that's just who he was. He was the brother of the king, he proved himself useful and absolutely ruthless in battle. Galivar would've never conquered all of Alethkar if it weren't for Dalinar, and once they'd finally had their kingdom? Galivar had the kingship, had Navani, he had an heir and a ridiculously intelligent daughter. And Dalinar was married to a woman he didn't truly love, he had two sons yes, but he was basically untamed from his years of constant warfare and his addiction to the thrill. Then, when Evi dies, what does Dalinar have? He doesn't have the throne (he scared himself shitless out of that), he doesn't have Evi (who, while he did not love romantically, she still was incredibly important to him and a large part of his life, adding onto the fact that he believed he'd murdered her), and he 'gave up' the thrill. So as many addicts do, he replaced one addiction with another and turned to drinking.

"It's never over/ My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder/ It's never over/ All my riches for her smiles/ When I've slept so soft against her/ It's never over/ All my blood for the sweetness of her laughter/ It's never over/ She is the tear the hangs inside my soul forever"

They're really my two favorite straight people. I must say. Dalinar risked a lot for his relationship with Navani, his political standing, the respect of the people. Because of Navani, Dalinar learned to read and was able to finally step away from Vorinism, where he originally clung to at least the facade of looking like he still believed in the religion. Navani was his biggest catalyst for taking the step into becoming a 'heretic' and making the moves needed to help his people. He waited, what, thirty or so years to marry her? Yeah. They're real yearners. They get it. I want to eat them alive.

7. Communication Breakdown, Led Zeppelin

FUCK YEAH. Honestly, forget why I added this to this playlist. It's kinda just like Freebird. Sometimes you just have to imagine fight scenes to dadrock you know. Guitar solo or something. You feel??

9. Black Sun, Death Cab for Cutie

NOW! MASSIVE PREFACE! One of you guys said this was a Kaladin song, and I've searched for hours TO SEE WHO POSTED IT AND I CANT FIND IT. If it was you please pm me and I’ll tag you, I owe you my life.

"There is fear in the eyes of your father/ And there is 'Yours' and there is 'Mine'"

Kaladin and Lirin's relationship to me is like the Bible. As someone who's father works in medicine and as someone who studied and worked in healthcare for a time and found it wasnt quite what I needed, I think about them a lot. Lirin makes no attempt to mask his revulsion for violence and warfare in front of Kaladin, and you can't necessarily blame him. He's had to deal with the effects of such violence in his profession and would much rather to not have to. Lirin's way is pacifism. Kaladin's way is, in some ways, 'ends justify the means' (I think his outlook on his actions is a little more nuanced, but it get's the point across).

"How could something so fair/ Be so cruel/ When this black sun revolved/ Around you!"

Lirin has to battle with how he originally saw his son vs how his son returned to him. A young boy who's intention was to study medicine (as much as that was placed upon him), his son who was incredibly helpful but always carried this sadness around with him. His son, who against his warnings, still went after his younger brother to protect him. And then the man that returned to Hearthstone during it's darkest hour, and instead of returning a surgeon, Kaladin returned as one of the most dangerous and powerful of soldiers yet seen (except probably for Dalinar in Rathalas lmfao). Not only that, but he practiced for it, and in a sense, enjoyed it. (I don't think Kaladin enjoys the fighting and warfare, however I do think I feels at home in it. It's what he knows, it's what he's trained for, and it's where his friends and family are. It's where he knows he can contribute the most with his skills.) 10. Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes

"I was raised up believing/ I was somehow unique"

Kaladin was raised being told he was supposed to be a surgeon. He was a high ranking darkeyes because of his fathers job, he was told he was above being a farmer, a soldier, a laborer. His parents gave him a lighteye'd name, as much an omen as Ialai's name. They believed he was destined to do something great (as many parents do with their children).

"And now after some thinking/ I'd say I'd rather be/ A functioning cog in some great machinery/ Serving something beyond me" As Kaladin got older, he grew to resent the lighteyes more and more (for good reason). He began to, through his distaste for them, prefer is station among darkeyes.

"I'll get back to you someday soon, you will see"

Kaladin, while Tien was still alive, wanted nothing more to get back to his parents with his younger brother and just serve his time and get out.

But you can't tell me there wasn't some part of Kaladin, the part of him that had always wanted to be a solider, that wouldn't revel in the idea of going back to his parents when he was done and being able to tell them he'd done well.

"I don't need to be kind to the armies of night/ That would do such injustice to you/ Or bow down and be grateful/ And say, 'Sure take all that you see'/ To the men that move only in dimly-lit halls/ and determine my future for me"

After Tien's death and having killed Helaran, Kaladin dug hard into the fact that he was a darkeyes as a source of pride. He hated Amaram for what had happened to Tien, for the deaths of his men for the shardplate, especially when he only had good intentions. (Especially given the fact that, as Lirin's son he hadn't wanted the shards because of how destructive they are. And how Amaram wouldn't have given them to him anyways. His punishment of watching his men fight for their lives and being slaughtered only because he'd fought well in battle, for Kal protected Amaram, the man he hated most, from Helaran and earned those shards protecting him).

"If I know only one thing/ It's that every thing that I see/ Of the world outside is so inconceivable/ Often I can barely speak/ Yeah Im tongue tied and dizzy/ and I can't keep it to myself"

While being transported in the slave caravan, Kaladin, nor anyone else in the cart with him spoke. They refused to talk about their lives before. But, when Syl kept 'bothering' him, finally he cracked and spoke with her. Eventually, the two of them began to trust each other and Kaladin would joke with her, they would plan and help each other.

"If I had an orchard/ I'd work 'til i'm raw/ If I had an orchard/ I'd work 'til I'm sore" When given the chance, Kaladin took every opportunity given (or just straight up schemed until he made it happen) to better the quality of life for the people around him, and thus himself. When told he needed to learn to ride horses to guard Elhokar, he took all of his people and they worked until they were quite literally sore. And many such examples lol. OKAY !!! THANK YOU FOR READING. If you have any comments, or recommendations or want to tell me im wrong or something let me know. If you're the person who said Black Sun was the Kal song please hmu, I owe you my life and want to make sure you're properly tagged in this. AND IF ANYONE SAW ME POST THIS EARLY BY ACCIDENT. No you didn't. I'll send Vyre after you.

Felt the need to share my Stormlight playlist. If anyone makes fun of it I WILL! kill myself no questions asked.

That said if you have questions, please do ask. :)

The playlist cover is a picture of when I hit a curb and got a flat tire (I felt like Kaladin Stormblessed)

[elegantwoes]

“It is better than the songs,” she whispered when they found the places that her father had promised her, among the high lords and ladies. Sansa was dressed beautifully that day, in a green gown that brought out the auburn of her hair, and she knew they were looking at her and smiling.

Our precious cinammon roll is enjoying herself (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

“His armor is bronze, thousands and thousands of years old, engraved with magic runes that ward him against harm,” she whispered to Jeyne. Septa Mordane pointed out Lord Jason Mallister, in indigo chased with silver, the wings of an eagle on his helm. ... The twins Ser Horas and Ser Hobber, whose shields displayed the grape cluster sigil of the Redwynes, burgundy on blue. Patrek Mallister, Lord Jason’s son. Six Freys of the Crossing: Ser Jared, Ser Hosteen, Ser Danwell, Ser Emmon, Ser Theo, Ser Perwyn, sons and grandsons of old Lord Walder Frey, and his bastard son Martyn Rivers as well

Look at Sansa showing off her skils in history and heraldy.

Jeyne covered her eyes whenever a man fell, like a frightened little girl, but Sansa was made of sterner stuff. A great lady knew how to behave at tournaments. Even Septa Mordane noted her composure and nodded in approval.

GRRM subtly reminding the readers that Sansa has a certain inner strength that is rivalled by few.

The most terrifying moment of the day came during Ser Gregor’s second joust, when his lance rode up and struck a young knight from the Vale under the gorget with such force that it drove through his throat, killing him instantly ... His cloak was blue, the color of the sky on a clear summer’s day, trimmed with a border of crescent moons, but as his blood seeped into it, the cloth darkened and the moons turned red, one by one

This is clearly a foreshadowing for the Mountain Clansmen interrupting the Winged Knight's Tourney and blood spilling into the Gates of the Moon.

She had never seen a man die before. She ought to be crying too, she thought, but the tears would not come. Perhaps she had used up all her tears for Lady and Bran. It would be different if it had been Jory or Ser Rodrik or Father, she told herself. The young knight in the blue cloak was nothing to her, some stranger from the Vale of Arryn whose name she had forgotten as soon as she heard it. And now the world would forget his name too, Sansa realized; there would be no songs sung for him. That was sad

I remember in the early years of being part of the ASOIAF fandom and frequently going on the forum site Westeros.org. This scene was often used to proof that Sansa was a sociopath. Which is weird, because first of she admonishes herself for her lack of reaction and in the end she's still saddened by Ser Hugh's death. Secondly, anyone with a brain can see this scene establishes that Sansa, like her brother Bran, can keep her composure in the face of death.

Ser Loras was the youngest son of Mace Tyrell, the Lord of Highgarden and Warden of the South. At sixteen, he was the youngest rider on the field, yet he had unhorsed three knights of the Kingsguard that morning in his first three jousts. Sansa had never seen anyone so beautiful .... To the other maidens he had given white roses, but the one he plucked for her was red. “Sweet lady,” he said, “no victory is half so beautiful as you.” Sansa took the flower timidly, struck dumb by his gallantry. His hair was a mass of lazy brown curls, his eyes like liquid gold. She inhaled the sweet fragrance of the rose and sat clutching it long after Ser Loras had ridden off.

It should be noted that while Sansa initially was taken by Ser Loras beautiful looks, what made her fall for him was the romantic courtly gesture of him giving her a red rose and unofficially declaring her Queen of Love and Beauty. Meaning in order to capture Sansa's heart you have to shower her with romantic gestures. Interestingly enough, the pedophilic characters who Sansa is often shipped with (*coughs* cujo come again *coughs*) don't show any sign of being romantic enough to court Sansa in the way she wants to be courted. The oone who does fit this description is our sour patch kid Jon Snow. Now he knows how to court a lady. Your ugly pedophile fave can never compare to him (✿◡‿◡).

“You must be one of her daughters,” he said to her. He had grey-green eyes that did not smile when his mouth did. “You have the Tully look.” “I’m Sansa Stark,” she said, ill at ease. The man wore a heavy cloak with a fur collar, fastened with a silver mockingbird, and he had the effortless manner of a high lord, but she did not know him. “I have not had the honor, my lord.” Septa Mordane quickly took a hand. “Sweet child, this is Lord Petyr Baelish, of the king’s small council.” “Your mother was my queen of beauty once,” the man said quietly. His breath smelled of mint. “You have her hair.” His fingers brushed against her cheek as he stroked one auburn lock. Quite abruptly he turned and walked away.

What I would like to know is WHY ON EARTH IS SEPTA MORDANE SITTING IDLY BY AS THIS CREEP IS TOUCHING SANSA. This old woman has one job and she can't even do it right. ╰(艹皿艹 )

Sansa and Septa Mordane were given places of high honor, to the left of the raised dais where the king himself sat beside his queen. When Prince Joffrey seated himself to her right, she felt her throat tighten. He had not spoken a word to her since the awful thing had happened, and she had not dared to speak to him. At first she thought she hated him for what they’d done to Lady, but after Sansa had wept her eyes dry, she told herself that it had not been Joffrey’s doing, not truly. The queen had done it; she was the one to hate, her and Arya. Nothing bad would have happened except for Arya.

imagine reading this part and not seeing how Sansa is desperately trying to convince herself that Joffrey isn't who she thinks he is and even then she barely convinces herself by the looks of the next passage:

She could not hate Joffrey tonight. He was too beautiful to hate. He wore a deep blue doublet studded with a double row of golden lion’s heads, and around his brow a slim coronet made of gold and sapphires. His hair was as bright as the metal. Sansa looked at him and trembled, afraid that he might ignore her or, worse, turn hateful again and send her weeping from the table.

Sansa shows signs of having the battered woman syndrome. Did the fandom notice this? Did they even care about Sansa and the horrible situation is in? Of course they don't. They are too busy hating on her. This is why I fucking hate a certain section of this fandom when they speak on the so called dangers of Sansa being the ideal westerosi noble lady. When you can't understand the great nuance to why Sansa made that choice during the Trident incident and why she chose to forgive both Cersei and Joffrey then you should keep your mouth shut and never ever talk about Sansa.

And Joffrey was the soul of courtesy. He talked to Sansa all night, showering her with compliments, making her laugh, sharing little bits of court gossip, explaining Moon Boy’s japes. Sansa was so captivated that she quite forgot all her courtesies and ignored Septa Mordane, seated to her left

Notice how only after Joffrey love bombs her that Sansa finally decides to forgive him and thinks that what happened at the Trident was only a fluke. Once again does the fandom notice? Of course not. They are too busy sucking off the fan favorite characters and don't bother to understand the nuance to Sansa's chapters, especially her AGOT chapters.

“Do you need an escort back to the castle?” “No,” Sansa began. She looked for Septa Mordane, and was startled to find her with her head on the table, snoring soft and ladylike snores. “I mean to say … yes, thank you, that would be most kind. I am tired, and the way is so dark. I should be glad for some protection.”

I swear this woman is the WORST SEPTA IN PLANETOS.

Sansa could feel the Hound watching her. “Did you think Joff was going to take you himself?” He laughed. He had a laugh like the snarling of dogs in a pit ... Suddenly terrified, Sansa pushed at Septa Mordane’s shoulder, hoping to wake her, but she only snored the louder. King Robert had stumbled off and half the benches were suddenly empty. The feast was over, and the beautiful dream had ended with it.

Sansa is clearly terrified by Cujo come again and yet some people have convinced themselves that this is a grand romance.

Sansa could not bear the sight of him, he frightened her so, yet she had been raised in all the ways of courtesy. A true lady would not notice his face, she told herself. “You rode gallantly today, Ser Sandor,” she made herself say. Sandor Clegane snarled at her. “Spare me your empty little compliments, girl … and your ser’s. I am no knight. I spit on them and their vows. My brother is a knight. Did you see him ride today?” “Yes,” Sansa whispered, trembling. “He was …” “Gallant?” the Hound finished. He was mocking her, she realized. “No one could withstand him,” she managed at last, proud of herself. It was no lie. Sandor Clegane stopped suddenly in the middle of a dark and empty field. She had no choice but to stop beside him. “Some septa trained you well. You’re like one of those birds from the Summer Isles, aren’t you? A pretty little talking bird, repeating all the pretty little words they taught you to recite.” “That’s unkind.” Sansa could feel her heart fluttering in her chest. “You’re frightening me. I want to go now.”

Sansa tries to start a conversation out of politeness and this nasty man has to derride her for this. He goes on to mock her skills and even when she makes a clever comment he still denigrates her despite knowing full well that her courtesies is something she should be fucking proud of. God this man is so hateful. He can't accept anything being good and kind. Everyone needs to be as equally miserable as him. (* ￣︿￣).

Sandor Clegane put a huge hand under her chin and forced her face up. He squatted in front of her, and moved the torch close. “There’s a pretty for you. Take a good long stare. You know you want to. I’ve watched you turning away all the way down the kingsroad. Piss on that. Take your look.”

This is the second older man that touches Sansa's face without her consent, but sure tell me how cujo come again, is so much better than Pedofinger and the King of Incels.

The rasping voice trailed off. He squatted silently before her, a hulking black shape shrouded in the night, hidden from her eyes. Sansa could hear his ragged breathing. She was sad for him, she realized. Somehow, the fear had gone away. The silence went on and on, so long that she began to grow afraid once more, but she was afraid for him now, not for herself. She found his massive shoulder with her hand. “He was no true knight,” she whispered to him.

Despite the fact that cujo come again has been so rude to her, had every intention to break her spirit and her ideals, Sansa rises above it, and shows us her unyielding side. 'He was no true knight.' And she's right. Even if the insitution of knighthood is corrupt that doesn't mean chivalry isn't worth upholding. In fact it's especially in face of adversity that you should stay true to the knightly ideals. Cujo come again take note from Sansa Stark.

The Hound caught her by the arm and leaned close. “The things I told you tonight,” he said, his voice sounding even rougher than usual. “If you ever tell Joffrey … your sister, your father … any of them …” “I won’t,” Sansa whispered. “I promise.” It was not enough. “If you ever tell anyone,” he finished, “I’ll kill you.

In case you guys didn't know, threatening to kill someone is a great way to start off a romance. /s

Next chapter our reluctant detective: Ned Stark.

[ettawritesnstudies]

Last Line Tag!

Thanks @thewritingavocado @writings-from-the-hart and @wordsofpaintandsmoke @sadsentinel @weaver-of-fantasies-and-fables and sorry I’m getting to this so late! 

This is from my newest WIP - A Stormlight Archives fanfic, since it’s the actual last line I wrote. If you were looking for Storge content, I shared the last lines of that in a Heads Up 7 Up tag, so you can read that here. 

Why did he rescue injured from the battlefield? Why did he spend his last spheres to buy bandages? Why did he labor over the knobweed sap? Why the campfires and stew? Why not let them die?

“You’re my men.” Kaladin said it with a shrug, as if it were the clearest thing in the world. When Hobber met his dark eyes, they were filled with an intensity of a man who’d challenged darkness itself to a staring contest, and made the void blink first.

Tagging @magic-is-something-we-create if you want :)

[im-a-ramblr]

Day 25, Resilience

(I know I skipped a day. I am writing day 24, it's just fighting tooth and nail against me.)

Rock was bellowing some words in a strange language, asking for a knife and ladder as he called for them in Althi moments later.  Teft joined in, demanding bandages and salve. Bled, Moash, and Earless Jaks dashed past the door to the Barracks, likely to fetch the ladder and knife. Dunny knelt and gathered some fresh bandages. He snatched the small bottle that held the sticky ointment.

He hurried outside and around the Barracks, just barely stepping out of the way of the ladder. He followed after it, pausing before he got too close to guards. It wouldn’t do to have them try to ruin the bandages or break the salve jar. Rock took the ladder in one hand and proper it against the wall. Then he stepped out of the way to left Teft climb it.

Dunny let out a horrified gasp. Kaladin looked less like a person and more like a mauled animal. Blood and water dripped off him, and the little of his skin that wasn’t cut or bruised was pale. His chest was moving, sometimes in deep rattling breaths that shook his whole body, and sometimes with such small movements it was hard to tell if he was still alive. Dunny thought he might throw up when the horrifying sight vanished as Teft cut the rope and Rock caught him.

The large Horneater lowered him to the ground, waving Dunny over. “Come! I need those!” The youth stumbled forward, handing them to the large Horneater.

“Is he’s going to be okay?” He whispered.

“Of course he is.” Moash snapped. “He’s stronger than this. He’ll bounce back.”

~POV Change~

Rock tore off a sleeve of his ragged shirt and used it to dry the worst of Kaladin’s injuries. Teft slathered on the salve on the ones that Rock had finished. He barked for the others to start wrapping them. Rock dropped his wet and dirt rag and took a banded from Dunny. The poor boy was pale and shaking.

“Now is not time to panic,” Rock told him. “It is very tempting to, but we must not. Worry later. Here, you know how to wrap these?” He showed the youth how, and slowly the youth started to. Rock looked up and narrowed his eyes at the soldiers watching. “We need guards. Those soldiers, I do not like them. Bled and Moash stood up, from where they’d been sitting. They glared at the guards but didn’t do anything.

“We can’t fight them,” Moash muttered darkly.

“No.” Rock agreed. “But if they start moving this way, let me know. I will carry him back to Barracks if they try anything.”

“He really is stormblessed, isn’t he?” Bled asked softly, glancing down, before focusing on his task. Rock frowned, tying off a bandage. They were doing to need more. He glanced at the man’s face, which was in the best condition of everything. It looked young, so much younger than anyone really thought. It was hard to think of someone as durability as he was a child.

Dunny stood, and rock reached a hand out to steady him. “Get more bandages. And the others.” Earless Jaks moved to take Dunny’s spot, letting Teft check the bandages he’d done. Rock tied several strips of cloth together to wrap about the unconcise man’s chest. It takes a village to raise a child, he thought lifting the still from up. Hopefully, we will be enough to heal one.

~POV Change with timeskip~

Hobber sat next to the man who had saved his life, wishing he could do more. He hadn’t been able to help care for him after the storm, still too slow to make it to where the others had bound his wounds quickly enough. But he’d been building up his strength and would be able to run soon. That was good. He’d draw pay again, meaning they’d have just a little bit more money to spend on supplies.  He sighed, brushing a hand through his hair. Kaladin stirred but didn’t wake. That was good right? Hobber let his shoulders slump as he watched the man. It had only been two days but he was tired of waiting.

He knew logically that it was going to take time; he, himself, was just finishing up healing from a much smaller injury. But he wanted Kaladin to be better now. Even more, then he wanted to be healed. He glanced at the doorway as it darkened. Maps gave him a sad small smile. “Up you get. It’s my turn.”

“I can watch longer.” Hobber protested.

Maps rested a hand on his shoulder.  “I know. But you need to get out and stretch. Build up your strength or something. I’m sure if he was awake he’d say something like that.” He nodded to their resting bridgeleader.

Hobber slowly stood, biting his lip. “I just feel- he sat with me when I hurt ya know? It feels wrong to just leave him. He’s done so much for me.”

“I get it. Trust me we all do, so let us help him too.”

Hobber nodded. “Okay. You’ll let us know if anything changes?”

“Crouse. Now scram.” Maps waved him off, and the gaped toothed man limped out.

~POV Change~

Maps sat down next to Kaladin and studied him critically. Teft and Rock had been having whispered meetings with him and Skar since they’d cut the youth down. Frantically pulled all their medical knowledge they’d decided to take over guarding Kaladin for now. While he didn’t see, to be doing worse they knew that was a very real possibility. They didn’t want the others to be caring for him if that happened.

Maps had been the first on the new rotation, so he’d be free to manage the rest of the crew if something did go wrong. He laid a hand on Kaladin’s forehead, wincing. On any other man, it wouldn’t have been a problem, but the brands there made him feel as though it was far more intimate than normal. It wasn’t as cold as it had been when they’d first brought him in, in fact it was almost feverish. That wasn’t good. He gathered the last few blankets that weren’t already being used to soften the floor or wrapped around the injured man. He layered them on top and glanced at the door.

He could hear Rock talking to the others. He was planning dinner, bless the man. There were a few strained laughs, though Maps didn’t hear anything funny. One of the others had portably said something, likely Lopen. The men piled into the barracks, and Maps raised an eyebrow. Before he could ask Teft called in a loud voice, “You heard the storming Horneater, get your vest and get out! We’re still on a practice schedule.” That hurried the men up, stopping the numerous side-eyes Maps and Kaladin had been getting.

“Teft.” Maps waved the grey-haired man over. He waited until the others had left and said in a low voice, “I think we might have a problem. He’s burning up.”

Teft paled and knelt down. He rested a hand on Kaladin’s forehead and swore softly. “That’s what we were worried about. Stay here and make sure he doesn’t get worse. And try to keep the men from finding out.”

“How in Roshar am I supposed to do that?”  Maps demanded.

“I don’t know, distract them if they come back in. I’ll go see if I can’t bully someone in to tell us how to care for him like this.” He stood and hurried out. Maps sat, thoughts bouncing between his sleeping companion and how to distract the others. Rock had them busy for the moment but what about after? He couldn’t just let Rock do all the work.

That gave him an idea. Why not have all the men work to get Rock a present? It would keep them busy and give them something to look forward to. He’d suggest it when they all came back.

~POV Change with timeskip~

Drehy cursed as Moash ducked out from under the bridge. “What do you think you're doing?” He snapped, but it was lost as Rock shouted for them to put their burden down. Drehy pushed through the bridgemen, arms crossed. Moash was standing a few feet from the barracks, frozen. Drehy glanced that way to see what had caught his attention.

Kaladin stood in the doorway of the barracks, dressed only in his worn trousers. He wore his typical stone-faced expression, firm as ever. He cocked his head, “You really need to practice what to do if one of you trips or stumble, men. When Moash topped abruptly you all about fell over. That could be a disaster on the field.” Drehy gapped at him. Mind processing. How was this man up? How was he giving them critiques like he hadn’t just spent ten days at death's door? How was that his first thought?

Kaladin smiled, and the spell holding the men back from their stupidly resilience bridgeleader broke. They crowed him, laughing.

[rainbowguardassemble]

Drabble written for the prompt, "They're so cute when they're asleep."

Renly/Loras, Margaery/Robb, G

'They're so cute when they're asleep,' Renly says in awe, leaning over the double buggy. Margaery straightens out her artfully messy top knot, brushing flyaways back off her face, and grimaces.

'They're cute all the time,' she says archly, but then nods. Tired. The twins are two months old, identical ruddy-cheeked bundles of hand-knitted cardigans and sparse auburn curls. Loras had, somewhat uncharitably in Renly's opinion, told Margaery they reminded him of Horas and Hobber, and despite being only two hours post-partum at the time, Margaery had made to climb off her bed and punch him right then and there in the maternity ward. Renly had had to quickly step in, telling her Loras was still tired from staying awake all night by the phone waiting for news of their birth, and then drag Loras off to the hospital canteen to find him the biggest coffee known to man. (He secretly agreed, however, at least until the post-birth bruising and swelling went down and left two cherubic and distinctly freckle-less faces behind.)

'They had their eight week jabs yesterday afternoon, so they've been up all night with temperatures, and Robb was on the late shift at the pub, so I was on my own with them until Sansa came over as emergency back up.' Her order is called, a venti black Americano with three extra shots, and she takes it off the counter and practically inhales half of it in one go. Renly smoothes the pad of his thumb over Ned (named after his grandfather)'s forehead, trying to straighten out the cowlick there, and Margaery snorts.

'Don't bother,' she takes another huge gulp of coffee. 'If Sansa and her wet comb can't get it to go away, nothing can.'

Next to Ned, his brother Max (Mace, on his birth certificate, but Max to everyone bar Her Majesty’s Government) was stirring, blinking open sleepy brown eyes. Ned was the spit of his father, pink-cheeked, blue-eyed and with the Tully red hair. Max showed more of the Tyrells about him, with Margaery's dimples and dark eyes, though he shared his brother's auburn curls.

'Hi, Max,' Renly coos at the baby, who fixes him with a very serious stare before his lower lip wobbles and he bursts into noisy tears. The commotion wakes Ned, who quickly joins in, and Renly is left apologising profusely to Margaery, who looks like she's already plotted the thousand ways she's going to kill him and is just wondering where to hide his body.

Thankfully Robb appears a few minutes later, once Margaery has produced a bottle for each of the twins. She's cradling Ned, the baby sucking furiously at the proffered bottle and blinking wet eyelashes at Renly, who is trying with far less success to feed his brother. Robb takes Max, puts him in the crook of his arm, and takes the bottle, and the baby settles as if by magic.

'Maybe it's a good thing Loras and I never had kids,' Renly says with only mild disappointment, watching the new parents. Robb shrugs.

'I think you'd be a great dad. Loras… Loras maybe not so much.'

'Loras is an excellent Cool Uncle,' Margaery says with a sage nod, 'but I worry about him being a father when I come home to see that he's holding Max upside down by one ankle to try to get him to stop screaming.'

'He said that worked,' Renly protests, feeling he should defend his boyfriend's honour. 'For a minute or so.'

Margaery raises her eyebrow. 'Until Max was then copiously sick all over your favourite jumper. The one Loras probably told you the washing machine shrank.'

Renly opens and then closes his mouth, narrowing his eyes, and excuses himself from the café on the basis that he has a world of pain to inflict on his lying, favourite-jumper-ruining other half.

But not before he kisses each twin goodbye on their tiny foreheads.