#HNMT

[agreenroad]

Deficiency of Enzyme Histamine N-Methyltransferase (HNMT) Linked to Nervous System And Brain Disorders - Drugs, Choline Deficiency Inhibit HNMT Enzyme

AGGRESSION AND IRRITABILITY ARE TWO EARLY SIGNS OF AN ALLERGIC REACTION, POTENTIAL HISTAMINE TOXICITY Aggression/irritability are early signs of allergic reaction."Histamine N-methyltransferase regulates aggression and the sleep-wake cycle"https://t.co/BXGkIHu0imHistamine N-methyltransferase regulates aggression and the sleep-wake cycle. 7. 10.1038/s41598-017-16019-8. https://t.co/bFhyfLnR8C—…

[thenarrativefoil]

more on HNMT dysfunction bc. uhhh that's where the dysautonomia is from holy shit:

For instance, the main symptoms of histamine intolerance within the nervous system are anxiety, dizziness, fatigue, insomnia, myoclonic twitching and unrest.[10] Overall, the symptoms of flawed HNMT activity are typical of symptoms of histamine intolerance, including allergic rhinitis, urticaria (hives), and peptic ulcer disease.[7]

wikipedia

[gravedigest]

HNMT drabble

”Deimos?”

Hm.

“Deimos? I can’t seem to find Deimos.”

The feet beneath the cot shuffle a little further into the shadows, near silent, but now fully hidden.

“I was going to give him some tablet time…”

… Nothing? Really?

“If he snuck out, they’re going to call security down. They’ll probably tell me to revoke snack closet privileges.”

There’s his little monster, springing off the back wall, claws outstretched. The kid fully wraps around his legs, mouth wide, they make eye contact as Deimos goes for the kill-

Just a light tap of his teeth against Doc’s ankle before he gets his mouth twisted in an evil grin.

He’s such an animal.

But, kids really are just animals.

“You brushed your teeth?”

“Nope!”

“Why not?”

“Poison attack.”

Doc rubs at the bridge of his nose, and gives Deimos a look.

The kid stares up, withered.

“… Vvvvenom attack.”

“Better. Go brush.” He scoots the kid with a foot, until Deimos detaches to get up to his feet and dash off to the washroom.

He should probably supervise.

Last time he let him go by himself, Deimos had started messing around in the eye rinse station.

Kudos to the designer, they created something with such an understandable design that a feral child could operate it first try. Then use it to trick scientists into demonstrating how the thing worked, smacking the button to start the flush when they leaned down to show him how one should put their face.

Utter nightmare.

“You have not had the time to brush-“ Deimos had come back to the room, toothbrush in hand-

Blood dribbling from his mouth.

“Bit m’cheek,” He hooks his own lip like a fish, trying to show where he’d hurt himself. He looks- Not panicked, but worried, as Doc drops to his knees to inspect the damage. “Does it count?”

Doc almost doesn’t hear the question through the fact that Deimos is talking around his own fingers. He tilts the kid’s head to see better, and- Yikes. He hasn’t chewed himself that hard since he’d first arrived. “Count for what, Deimos?”

“Bites? There’s blood.”

… His kid doesn’t live a normal life.

He inhales, exhales, then coaxes Deimos into just a little bit of eye contact. “What would a muzzle do if you bit the inside of your mouth?”

“… Nothin’?”

“Right. Let me find some cotton.”

The labs are filled with every type of swab and medium one could hope to find, this area used to be a place for chemical research. Then they got that new wing, and this place has been overrun by the more esoteric projects that no one wants to properly classify.

Or document.

Or acknowledge.

Not for lack of interest, but more-so the want for an amount of secrecy. Some things that happen here are completely inane and downright stupid, some things are above Doc’s own pay-grade.

Some things are packing cotton balls in a par-boiled clone’s mouth and emphasizing that he must not, under any circumstances, swallow the cotton balls.

Doc can tell he is really fighting the urge.

Admirable.

“If you swallow them, I’ll have to have Skinner pump your stomach again.”

“Noooooo…”

He’d swallowed several coins.

And a small desk toy.

And only got caught because he’d been eating erasers.

He is curious about something, though.

“… Does it hurt?”

Deimos looks puzzled by the question, finger in his mouth to press at the cotton like he’s keeping it in place. His brows are all pinched, slightly raised, like Doc’s an idiot.

He nods.

“… I’ve just noticed you don’t really tell me when something hurts.”

“M’I s’posed to?”

“I’d like to know. People usually say ‘Ow’ when they get hurt.”

“Ow.”

“Good enough.”

The kid beams with bloody teeth, and allows himself to be ushered back to his room.

Doc does fulfill the semi-promise of letting Deimos have the tablet for a while, watching him go through puzzles until the kid starts leaning more and more against the wall, until his eyes droop.

He has Deimos spit the cotton out before he konks out, the bleeding stopped for the moment.

Doc lingers for a while. He should be taking the chance to pop back to his apartment, perhaps get a few hours of proper rest on a flat surface, but the prospect of leaving the kid alone down here continues to be a daunting one.

Deimos gets into trouble, yes.

He’s not exactly concerned about that, because he gets in trouble for show. He has to have an audience to make it entertaining, and there are only a few scant researches that will make nighttime trips to this level, if they do show up.

And he isn’t afraid of Deimos being caught in an emergency, per say.

Deimos can quite obviously take care of himself if someone were to break in to the labs again, he has the upper-hand in the dark and the ability to hold his own if he gets a weapon.

He’s more worried about…

Well, he isn’t quite sure.

The sight of the kid with a bloody mouth, that he may hurt himself and have no one there to fuss over him, that he won’t take care of himself because he lacks the necessary reactions to reduce his own pain.

That he may get scared, waking up alone.

Or that he may wander off looking for Doc.

That he’ll have a bad dream.

He looks over the kid, in his too-big cot, swaddled in enough blankets to swim in.

He has the thought again, the thought that he should be in a house, that he shouldn’t subsist off what equates to mediocre hospital food, that there should be clothes that fit him and shoes he could wear.

It would be a mistake to have more kids for him to be around, this world is not made for children.

He doesn’t go back to his apartment. He finds a vending machine to get a bag of chips, and takes up on the uncomfortable couch in a nearby break room, writing out his notes until he can’t keep his eyes open anymore.

He’ll go home tomorrow.

He just won’t define where home is yet.

[englishlistwords]

. Food Intolerances, Leaky Gut and Histamine Toxicity Food intolerances and allergies play a starring role in the presence of eczema and its incessant itch. You may be doing everything perfectly to avoid mould and dust in the home, but that won’t be much help if your eczema is triggered by that yoghurt or Kombucha you are consuming everyday for breakfast! One person's medicine, is another's sleepless night itching. Histamine toxicity and leaky gutIt's hard to avoid fad foods when EVERYONE says they are "good for eczema", "good for leaky gut" etc. We get asked about fermented foods nearly every day, so we thought we would cover WHY you should resist this fad ...

Fermented foods can be the worst for eczema as they are very rich in histamines.What are histamines?

Histamines are a type of amine that is produced in your body during an allergic reaction - histamine causes the swelling and itchiness you experience when you eat a food you are allergic to. You can also eat histamine-rich foods and histamine-releasing foods in your diet. Dietary histamines require enzymes called DAO and HNMT in order break down the histamines so they don't accumulate and cause damage in the body.

The issue is this... The more histamines you consume in your diet, the more vitamin B6, vitamin C, zinc, copper, magnesium and other DAO supporting nutrients you will need in order for your body to cope. When you run out of any one of these nutrients, histamine toxicity can occur.

Histamine toxicity can make your skin crazy itchy. It's painful, and hard to correct once you fill up your histamine bucket. Histamine intolerance symptoms mimic an allergic reaction and can include: diarrhoea, headache, sinusitis, asthma, hay fever, low blood pressure, heart arrhythmias, hives, eczema, itchy skin (pruritus), skin flushing

Histamine-rich foods

I bet most of the following histamine-rich foods are your favourite foods, because histamine (amines) have flavour-enhancing properties that are highly addictive. Fermented dairy products, Yoghurt, Kefir, Cheese, Pickles, Kombucha, Sauerkraut, Cured meats (salami, sausages, ham etc), Cacao, Chocolate, Avocado, Mushrooms, Wine, champagne and most alcohol, Tofu, Soy sauce and tamari sauce

Vinegars (including apple cider vinegar), Slow cooked meats, Dates and other dried fruits, Leftovers from the fridge, Smoked fish, Fish that has not been stored properly, Eggplant, Spinach, Tomatoes, Broth

Note how many popular health foods are on this list. I feel a craving coming on now.

I really like these foods and in moderation (if you don't have eczema or histamine issues) they are totally okay to eat. Still, I totally understand why you may despair at this list. But ...Sometimes you have to give up the foods you love because they are hurting you.It's like giving up on a violent spouse or a friend who is bullying you. You eventually distance yourself from harm, because that's good for you.

High histamine foods could be hurting you but you won't know for sure unless you avoid them for a bit of time (then test them).

When I ate high histamine foods I felt anxious and depressed, and after about a year of feeling mildly unwell, I suddenly became itchy and developed body aches, especially when I ate fermented foods or caffeine (caffeine blocks the DAO enzyme needed to break down histamines). Now I have given up these foods, I feel energetic, happy and amazing on most days. I wake up feeling good and I don't need a coffee or tea to 'wake up' anymore. "Do I miss having a morning cuppa? Yes, occasionally, but what I love more is feeling young and energetic and happy - that's worth more than any cup of coffee or tea!"

Histamine toxicity and leaky gut

Histamine toxicity is associated with leaky gut - it's certainly not the only cause but it is a contributing factor. And leaky gut will worsen your eczema. So it's important to avoid histamine-rich superfoods such as kefir and kombucha in gut healing protocols...

I know these foods are commonly recommended in gut healing protocols (what the?). But one thing is clear: not enough people know about the dangers of eating too many histamine-rich foods all at once. It depletes your DAO enzyme and other important enzymes so your body can become unable to degrade histamines effectively. The new 'fermented craze' could be why histamine toxicity is becoming a growing problem. Histamine toxicity doesn't usually happen overnight (unless you get food poisoning), it's usually a gradual decline in health that can eventually trigger the immune system to become hyperactive.

What is a safe alternative?

The Eczema Detox is a book I wrote to help my patients and readers to get well. It is the new version of my older books The Eczema Diet and The Healthy Skin Diet (Exisle Publishing). Within the book there is a Food Intolerance Diagnosis (FID) Program specifically designed to help people with skin inflammation (eczema, TSW, psoriasis etc.) to work out their trigger foods. You may have heard of the FID Program online.

Rather than follow a diet blindly, with the FID Program you are working out YOUR specific trigger foods, so you know what foods to avoid and what foods to safely enjoy for clear, healthy skin. It's a science-based food program that is low in histamines. It's also designed to heal the gut and boost the health of your liver and skin. You can find out more about the book here.

5. Nutritional Deficiencies

If your body is low or deficient in magnesium, calcium, zinc, molybdenum, biotin or any other B-group vitamin, your eczema won't clear up until you correct the deficiency.

Your skin is literally made from the foods and drinks you consume.Your skin is made up of nutrients, essential fatty acids and amino acids from protein foods. These nutrients are essential for skin health and deficiencies in these vitamins and minerals result in impaired skin repair.

For example: Molybdenum is an important mineral your body needs on order to process sulfites. Without enough molybdenum in your diet, you develop sulfite intolerance which means you adversely react to sulfite-rich products such as wine, vinegar, dried fruits, some medicines, sauerkraut, pickles and cheese (to name a few).

When you consume molybdenum along with vitamin B5, you are less likely to have food intolerances and sulfite intolerance. I developed the Skin Friend AM (which contains molybdenum) and Skin Friend PM supplements after my daughter developed severe eczema, as I could not find supplements that were free of colours, salicylates, histamines, vitamin A, flavourings and sugar. (Vitamin A dries out the skin and causes flaking skin.)

For years I prescribed Skin Friend AM and PM to my eczema patients in order to correct nutritional deficiencies and support skin health. After years of feedback and testing, the supplements are now available online. If you would like more information you can read the customer and patient reviews on this page. Do you have eczema?

If so, do the following check-list to see if you have undiagnosed triggers:

1. Have you checked for mould in your home or office? Fifty percent of homes in the US have mould damage - it's not rare and it can harm your health. Consult an expert in your area if you are unsure what to do.

2. Have you had allergy testing and have you made your bed dust-mite proof? A zip-up mattress protector is a must.

3. Are you managing stress properly, or just complaining about it? Get pro-active - it's your life, you should enjoy it.

4. Are you eating foods rich in histamines or are you eating well but your skin is not getting better? You should try the FID program or the Detox Program to help you get answers.

5. Do you have nutritional deficiencies and are you taking supplements? Stop wasting your money on supplements that contain skin irritants, and ensure you are taking pure vitamins and minerals that do not contain tabletting agents, colors, flavorings, fillers or capsules. Purity matters.

[drritamarie]

Histamine Intolerance: Understanding the Causes and Managing The Symptoms

Histamine intolerance is a syndrome that is becoming more widely recognized in the functional medicine community. Histamine builds up in the body due to the disorder's decreased capacity to break it down, which is what causes inflammation.  

What Is Histamine Intolerance 

Histamine intolerance refers to a condition where there is an impaired ability to break down histamine, leading to an accumulation of this biogenic amine in the body. Histamine is a chemical compound involved in various physiological processes, including the immune response, digestion, sleep and neurotransmission.

Normally, the body produces enzymes, such as diamine oxidase (DAO) and histamine N-methyltransferase (HNMT), which help metabolize and regulate histamine levels. However, in individuals with histamine intolerance, these enzymes are deficient or not functioning optimally, resulting in an excess of histamine.

[ambersky0319]

Thanks for the tag!! <3

I'm using my normal playlist bc I frankly never use the on repeat one AND I put a lot of songs on repeat just to study so, going through my normal playlist is more fun - but keep in mind this playlist is over 2k songs 😅

1. Can't Stop Singing - Austin Moon, Maia Mitchell

Fun! I wouldn't call this my favorite song from the movie, but it's real catchy and I love listening to it when I just need to vibe. I do not, however, enjoy how easily it gets stuck in my head. Ironically, not even the chorus parts. It's the lyrics and beats between the chorus!

2. Yakko's World - Animaniacs

Ngl this is one of those that is on my playlist JUST because of the rhythm - I should probably actually memorize the names of all these countries though anyway 😅

3. Oh No! - MARINA

I think? I added this to my playlist after a dance show?? Maybe???? If not, again it's only here just bc it's catchy - but still a fun song to vibe to as well! That tends to be my criteria for my playlist lol

4. The Last Shanty - Short - VoicePlay, J.None

I like VoicePlay and sea shanties - and recently I added a shit ton of VoicePlay to my playlist. This isn't my favorite song from them tho, I just like it

5. A Story Told - Patrick Stanke, Mark Seibert, Mathias Edenborn

This is only on my playlist because Chi-Chi, Elsie Lovelock, and Annapantsu's cover is not on Spotify. I like the song, I prefer the cover so much more than the original, but this scratches my daydreaming itch just enough that I put it on the playlist

6. Perfect Time <HNMT> - Eliana, mpi

LISTEN. I will put pretty much any version of Perfect Time I can find on my playlist, okay? It's just one of those songs I hear that I am hit with nostalgia, no matter which version I hear. Also, a 6 minute version of Perfect Time makes for me having a perfect time.

7. What We Live For - American Authors

Just a vibe honestly. Like probably a song I would hear a lot on the radio but never knew the title of, and added it to my playlist because of the Discover Weekly (the reason my playlist is over 2,000 songs long). I like vibing to it but I definitely forget it's on my playlist until it plays lol

8. Clarity - Zedd, Foxes

Nostalgia definitely. I'm pretty sure I used to listen to amvs or like, those ship slides slideshows, with this song. I could not tell you which fandom though because it's been so long 😅 but this song also easily gets stuck in my head. Just that chorus - "If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? / If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"

9. Maps - Sam Tsui

Stars, I just love Sam Tsui. His voice is just. Ugjdhdhdcjdvhg. Maps especially I really love - idk why but his voice just, really suits this song? Or like, the way he sings this song in particular is just fantastic. This song - and Sam Tsui in general - is one with lyrics I can put on and still focus on writing/school work!

10. House of Cards (Full Length Edition) - BTS

I don't listen to kpop much anymore, but I do have a lot of older BTS songs - and that feels so weird to say, because I remember when Save Me and Fire and Blood, Sweat and Tears came out. I remember waiting with my best friends for those music videos to drop. And like. That was EIGHT YEARS AGO. But it doesn't feel more than like. Two. Four at most.

AnyWAY. I just really like the vibes of this song - it's haunting and weirdly relaxing to listen to.

Honestly surprised no Set It Off played - I think I have their entire discography on my playlist lol. Or maybe Spotify decided that it's shuffle mood would avoid Set It Off today after playing like 5 songs from them yesterday while I hung out with sib 😅

No pressure tags: @tacochippy @surohsopsisofclouds @aviesnapkindoodles @forsakenqueer @corrosive-cyanide @anxieteaspooks @frostseeker-draws @temtv @gh0stofyesterday and @ anyone who just wants to join ^^

okay I don't normally do these things but was tagged by @unsavorie and already in a music music mood so here we go!!

"Shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and list the first 10 songs that play, then tag 10 people."

"Don't Go Insane" - DPR IAN

I was obsessed with with one recently

"Loverboy" - young friend

and this one last year

"cough drops" - almost monday

and this one, recently again

"Something Super Sweet" - Rory Webley

and this one, again last year, and also a lot. i made up a dance to it

"*Equip Sunglasses*" - Hot Mulligan

I have been, am, and will probably continue to be obsessed with this one for a long time. I love it so much.

"ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?" - Negative 25

I also liked this one quite a lot but less than every single one so far lol

"Edge of the Earth" - The Beaches

this one i only very recently discovered, like within the last week, I cannot believe it made the list because I did not think I listened to it THAT MUCH 😅

"Sleeping on the Ceiling" - Friday Pilots Club

I wasn't obsessed with this one but I like how he says one of the lyrics so I always let it play, also this band has been making their way into my playlists more and more lately

"bl00dbath" - rosecoloredworld

this band got advertised to me on instagram not that long ago and I heavily fuck with at least three of their songs

"Addiction/Prescription" - poptropicaslutz!

this one has been my listen-again when it comes on shuffle lately, it's a mid yet fun song and I fuck with it. also I could have swore I'd heard of this band before but I went through their other songs and didn't recognize or like any lmfao

I was doing this and thinking "wow these are all such good songs that I love listening to" then it occurred to me that this is my on repeat and not my general playlist. on repeat means something 🤦

and I tag:

@vanguard @striders @letsrevince @hungry-hobbits @fluffy-flock @starssystem @langleyavenue @tenttle @adhdalistair @walnutsupreme @toadcroaky @babyprime

and anyone else who wants to do it!

[gayoonhyuna4minuteandcome]

Selena ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ https://www.instagram.com/gayoon_hyuna_4minute_and_co/p/BxABji-hNMT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5ovgrxuj6ozc

[conners-clinic]

Coughing & Sneezing & Itchy Eyes, Oh My! 🌼Excess histamine can cause a range of uncomfortable & frustrating symptoms. 🌼It is impossible to eliminate all histamine, but if you could, eliminating histamine can actually cause more issues. Histamine is helpful, but an unbalanced, excess amount can cause symptoms. 🌼Histamine Scavenger is one of our BEST selling products with an all time high re-purchasing rate…meaning that it works well! 🌼Histamine Scavenger supports normal histamine levels, reduces inflammatory responses to non-allergen exposures, can help the body repair leaky gut, & supports ABP1 & HNMT gene pathways. 🌼To avoid symptoms from excess histamine, you can also reduce your intake of high histamine foods. ✨To learn more about the balance of histamine, go to ConnersClinic.com/Blog & type in “histamine” in the search bar! 🛒Check out this amazing product at Shop.ConnersClinic.com It’s on SALE! 🌿 🌿 🌿 #health #naturalhealth #alternative #alternativemedicine #nutrition #nutrient #plant #plants #plantmedicine #herbs #herbology #holisticmedicine #natural #naturopath #naturopathy #homeopath #homeopathy #chiropractor #science #supplements #supplement — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/2Uq5sTf

[thetucsonazpreacher]

Ezekiel 13: “False Prophets” We’ve seen already how the Lord hates false gods, now we see how He feels about false prophets. In verse 8 it says, “therefore thus says the Lord God: ‘Because you have uttered falsehood and seen lying visions, therefore behold, I am against you, declares the Lord God.’” You see, when one makes the decision to speak falsely in the name of the Lord, they are actually speaking against Him. He now stands against them, and they will be punished. One of the phrases used here is that these prophets prophesied from their own hearts. The Bible says that our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9). It wasn’t about the Lord, rather it was for themselves. We see that today with false teachers, as they mislead the people for their own gain. We know from the scriptures that the Lord will deal with these people in His own timing. For us, we must know the scriptures in order to know what is truth, and what isn’t. Read your Bible and pray for understanding. #jesus #biblestudy #ezekiel https://www.instagram.com/p/CCyuZA-hNmt/?igshid=1uz34crgh4wbz

[agreenroad]

Dr J Williams On Histamine Intolerance - Natural Anti Histamine Vitamin E & Homeopathic Remedy; Histaminum Hydrochloricum

DR J E WILLIAMS: WHAT IS HISTAMINE INTOLERANCE, OR OVERLOAD? Histamine intolerance and DAO deficiency cause many of the symptoms associated with CFS/IBS and food sensitivities. Symptoms include nausea, vomiting, gas, bloating, abdominal pain, belly discomfort, constipation, diarrhea or diarrhea and alternating constipation, brain fog, rashes and other allergic skin and food sensitivities. In…

[thenarrativefoil]

Walk with me for a while.

ghost /ɡōst/ noun

an apparition of a dead person which is believed to appear or become manifest to the living, typically as a nebulous image."the building is haunted by the ghost of a monk" [oxford languages via google]

epigenetics /ˌepəjənˈediks/ noun

the study of changes in organisms caused by modification of gene expression rather than alteration of the genetic code itself. [oxford languages via google]

"Epigenetics can be thought of as a very specific sort of memory." "-most memories involve the [nervous system] storing experiences by altering connections between cells" [1]

"In a post mortem study on humans, Individuals [who died of natural causes] showed [altered] methylation in key areas of the hippocampus than those who died by suicide and those who died by suicide with a history of child abuse." [1]

"decreased levels of glucocorticoid receptor mRNA, as well as mRNA transcripts bearing the glucocorticoid receptor 1F splice variant and increased cytosine methylation of an NR3C1 promoter. Patch-methylated NR3C1 promoter constructs that mimicked the methylation state in samples from abused suicide victims showed decreased NGFI-A transcription factor binding and NGFI-A–inducible gene transcription" [2]

"muliebrity

if you’re raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. you will find him even when he is not there. and if one day you find that there is no angry man in your house— well, you will go find one and invite him in!" [3]

I don't know what to say about all this other than that it feels true. I've recently discovered that I don't feel things the way other people do. I have been slowly poking at what that means- feelings are something physical, a sensation in the body, like hot or cold. Some people actually get hot from emotion!

"Sympathy: I know how you feel Empathy: I feel how you feel Compassion: is there anything I can do to help?" [4]

I've leaned on compassion hard- to the point of annoyance, until I learned to ask questions before offering to help them solve the problem. But back to ghosts. Experiences change a person like a sculptor shapes clay. The creation of life from clay is a popular theme that appears throughout multiple cultures.[5]

Clay, before it is fired, can be mixed, shaped, dried, rewet, and formed again completely. It can be a hundred different things with no evidence of that in the final, fired version. Ceramics are "fired" (heated in a kiln) to different levels. Bisque means that bone-dry clay (greenware) has been fired once,at Cone 4-8, most commonly 6. Have you ever tried to exorcise a cup? Once fired, the ceramics can never return to its original state. You can smash it, you can grind it up into a fine powder. You can use ceramic powder as a metal coating, in filters;

"crushed fired clay ceramic-lime mortars are considered to be ideal for use in the restoration and conservation of ancient monuments and historic structures since they are fully compatible with the weak and porous traditional building materials" [6]

The jump from "fucked up cup" to ideal material for restoring historic structures seems too on the nose for me, as a ceramics artist who went on to restore monuments for a while. So we've got dna/clay and methylation/firing/trauma/memory/ghosts. There are ghosts of shitty cups in the cracks of restored buildings. I think of the tourists walking through, rubbing their hands on the walls and slowly corroding the monument with their acidic hand oils. Do some of the ghosts haunting me, that held my hands as I formed the wet clay, linger on their fingers when they leave? Can I put this down? Can someone else help me carry it? What is an artist but a ghost factory? I am making the ghosts, the ghosts are making me. It's an oroborous situation. I have GOT to get that snake some proper nutrition.

I had something else to say, but I forgot. My therapist tells me it's a way our nervous system protects itself from painful activation unable to be resolved.

Trauma changes the way our body functions, past emotional reactions, down to individual gene function. The war, the concentration camp, the abusive abused man, the abused child, like stacks of rocks placed on a grave in hopes of keeping the entombed inside. And yet, the undead rise! Moving strangely, covered in dirt, and stinking up the whole bus, we shuffle among the living. Some of us undetected! Most of us, well, we've got limbs falling off. We don't act right. So you're dead, but you really want to live. You go find yourself an exorcist, a physical therapist, a specialist who thinks they know what your problem is and has a strict regimen on how to fix you. Some things work, some things don't. You're still dead, but your skin is rotting less these days. Some days you wish Victor Frankenstein was real, someone with enough hubris to cut you up and zap you to life. But, you have to be what you want to see in the world. You're used to playing all the parts. You search for any information that can help you patch the function of your genes, behaviors and beliefs that will loch and dam the waterfall of your experience. You start believing in ghosts, and it's about time, since you've been haunted all your life. Try not to let it progress to possession, exorcists are really expensive.

[1] Transgenerational Trauma: The Role of Epigenetics

[2] Epigenetic regulation of the glucocorticoid receptor in human brain associates with childhood abuse

[3] Cut

[4] Quote from seananmcguire's dad

[5] Wikipedia: Creation of life from clay

[6] Use of crushed fired clay ceramics in the production of mortars

[gravedigest]

Gonna answer this over here, hope you don’t mind.

Oops it’s gonna be rambling I am so sorry

A lot of my writing winds up being freestyle, and getting something going takes four or five tries to stick the opener, like pulling the cord on an engine to get it to start. I have like three 2k word versions of how I wanted Doing Something to go, and one of them actually has Sanford in Hank’s place and Sanford’s more like a refrigerator than a runaway lawnmower. It wasn’t as fun to write, so I shucked it into the “neat concept, I’ll fuck with it later” bin.

Which is fine, I can have as many half-formed ideas as I want because I have the storage space for it.

From there I kinda write out little scene chunklets that I can rearrange or swap out with eachother, I’ll be thinking about the next scene I wanna do while I’m writing a different chunk, or thinking about an old chunk while writing a new one that I can slot in between that’ll make the overall story more coherent. So like, giving Doc a motive for specifically using Deimos to pilot Hank? I didn’t have one for a really fucking long time, then I was writing I think, like, Deimos’ meltdown and was like “Okay actually Deimos is going to be Doom. You can run Doom on anything.”

Then once I get my chunklets in a row I can go back over and add in more shit, and it makes it really easy to change details. Hank in the restaurant, how did he get to the restaurant? Fuck it. He was holed up in the tower this whole time and it was right next door. I’ll mention Deimos smells something burnt up in that other scene, weeeeee~

I kinda got this whole method from just writing vignettes? HNMT is a pretty obvious example of shoving a bunch of little scenes together to make something longer. I was using the research notes in that to kind of give hard stops so I didn’t need to stitch everything together as much. Because I’m lazy. And being lazy means you come up with fun ways to cut corners like that.

Tis how the first livestreaming video was invented. People didn’t wanna go stand up to see if the coffee was done, so they just hooked up a camera to a network and forced it to stream the video. I think I remember that right, take it with a shaker of salt, I ain’t remember shit good.

I highly recommend just doing a shitload of self indulgent vignettes though, just a bunch of scenes you want to read that don’t have to be connected to each other that you don’t have to do anything with. Eventually you might wind up connecting some of them together and extrapolating on a concept, and you can snowball from there.

Or just make a fun little oneshot, Workday is from a 30k document of what amounts to practicing each character individually in a bunch of scenarios, kind of just getting a feel of how I can have people interact and differentiate them from one another. It also just has a lot of stupid dialogue.

I fucking love writing dialogue. It’s really bad. But also neat when you can figure out how to give characters enough voice to where you don’t get confused about who’s saying what without having to say “he said, they said, x explained” yadda yadda. I use that thing as a reference for how I write each character to kind of gage consistency, and I’m not the best at it but I sure am getting better.

So, yeah. I get distracted really easily and this all sort of helps direct me being distracted into getting more work done than I would’ve if I had to follow a real outline, playing with legos instead of worrying about brick and mortar.

TLDR: Mostly freestyle, then editing in the plot beats that form naturally from that.

@ya-killin-me-smalls

[prominencesupport]

Use Promocode & get 5% off | Prominence Support

To get 5% off on your purchase of any of the appliance insurance, use the promocode HNMT at the time of payment. You will get a discount of 5% of the total value of your purchase.

To know more, visit here: https://prominencesupport.co.uk/

[badgalririlikes]

Congratulations @badgalriri who will receive the #President’sAward at the #naacpimageawards 2/22/20 https://www.instagram.com/p/B8Jznl-hNMT/?igshid=yc8ydspgv2dl

[nicolombaard]

In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured!.* #mtvilsofmalta 📸credit @wmurowany (at Floriana, Malta) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzyPyP-hnMt/?igshid=dsxb4wxf81m3