#HES SO CREEPY AND THEY JUST REPLACED THE EYES WTF

[ladywaterfall]

Absolutely normal Mickey Mouse

[sunnylands-world]

as someone who also thinks aidan deserves more apprietiation, can you do one where the reader has really cold hand all the time and he has to warm them up? orrr same cold handed reader suddenly has warm hands and he's like ".....wtF?! warming your hand was MY job dummy 🙄😥...wait who did it for you?!"

Lover's hands

Pairing: Aidan x fem reader

Summary: Aidan's out of town and he's expecting to come back and find everything just the way it was before but when he comes back he walks in on his worst nightmare, you replacing him…

Word count: 711

Warning: jealous Aidan, weird coworkers, reader has cold hands

Universe: celebrity

A/n: sorry for the wait hope you like it though

Nice thought, reblogs, and inboxing is appreciated and motivational ❤️

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The winter was extremely cold and you were glad you had Aidan to keep you warm in more than one way. Whether it was kisses on your forehead from his warm lips as the air blew or hugs when you stood in places long or simply his hand holding yours to keep your fingers from becoming popsicles. he'd scolded you about forgetting your gloves but you still did, partially by accident and partially on purpose.

Something about his hand in yours as the sky rained snowflakes and the ground covered in a light coat of fluffy white Ice.

He'd been gone for a bit so your hands began to chill till you blew puffs of air against them.

It wasn't until your friend Matt from work offered you his hand teaching you a method to keep them warm. It was a foreign feeling having someone else keep your small hands warm because that was just… Aidan's thing.

When Aidan did finally come back he spotted you with Matt planning to surprise you. Aidan had a…neutral relationship with him. He didn't like him but tolerated him nevertheless because you worked with him and nothing he felt was worth you losing your job because you loved working at the small coffee shop. Matt was very flirty with you and Aidan noticed, even if you didn't.

For some reason you had self doubts no matter how many times Aidan tried to show you how he saw you through his eyes. As Aidan stepped closer he noticed your hands resting in Matt's as he gave you a grin, his blue eyes sparkling with mischievousness and his smile didn't seem as sweet as he tried to make it look… or maybe he was just jealous.

Aidan didn't exactly tell you that he admired his fingers being laced with yours but he'd hoped his slight squeezes and circle rubs meant something to you. He tried to mask his anger and hurt as he walked over making you smile and jump into him for a hug. He hugged you back thinking of what to say as you loosen your hold on him.

"You and Matt having fun?" he asked sarcastically, his voice dripping with jealousy

Great job Aidan.

Before words even got out from you Matt interjected.

"Yeah! isn't that right sunshine?" He said to you more than Aidan pressing a kiss to your cold hand. Aidan clenched his jaw

"I was teaching her a technique to keep her tiny little hands warm. She said you usually keep them warm but you weren't here, poor baby…so I taught her another way!" He grinned. Aidan looked over to you seeing your eyes filled with worry…or was it guilt.

"I think that's enough, I'll take it from here," Aidan said, reaching his hand out for yours. You nodded timidly, standing to your feet but matt locked his fingers with yours stopping you from leaving fully.

"Matt let go of my girlfriend's hand…now," Aidan urged but Matt ignored him, looking in your direction.

"Do you wanna go sunshine?" He asked, giving you puppy eyes but you nodded with a firm yes.

He let go still staring to the point where it turned creepy as Aidan walked you out of the store, his hand tucking yours and his in his coat pocket.

"So I see you and Matt were getting quite comfortable with each other," he announced.

"He's my co-worker Aidan."

"Yeah because people hold hands with their coworkers all the time!" He said, rolling his eyes.

"Aidan, are you upset I let matt keep my hands warm?" You teased, on the verge of laughter.

"Okay, Yes I was jealous! but that's my thing! it makes me feel like I'm showing you the small things you know? Caring if you're cold and what not," he confirmed. You giggled, making a slight smile pull at the corner of Aidan's lips.

"Aidan, I know you care about the little things which is why you're the one I trust with everything. And for the record Matt is a terrible hand warmer. I prefer my boyfriend's way," you said, looking forward.

Aidan smiled letting out a sigh, he didn't know why he was worried about it when he knew in the end you'd always choose him.

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[gurggggleburgle]

Me sitting and laughing at my horrible skinzun neighbinghood horror idea going for the why not buy a skinzun going man someone should write a fic on that prompt.

Like conceptually the idea that if you are possessed by the poor idea to obtain a skinzun with money or by taking one from its skinhe results in some fucked shit is very fun to me:

But normal family moves into the neighbinghood one day because of work transfer and the family consists on little daughter, shithead son, parentals of 2. They accidentally ran over something on the way over. The neighborhood is nice their neighbors are lovely everyone is friendly but then they see the skin creatures and freak out and their neighbors laugh. Say that's normal. You get used to it. The neighborhood is after all for the most part normal...aside from there being only a few human children. When the parentals ask the residents merely point to their little skinhes and skinzuns. After all much like an olive garden when they're here they are family.

Anyway the family is little weirded out but it's fine. Everything is cool except one day the daughter comes in crying carrying a skinzun that shithead son hit while he was mindlessly throwing rocks. The family decides to help get the poor thing back to health and the skinzun keeps trying to leave even though they're just kind Samaritans helping a little guy out. The little girl loves her skinzun and keeps carrying him around the house and the family starts saying since he doesn't seem to have a home he can live with them.

The shithead kid who hit it with a rock thinks it's creepy as fuck as says to get rid of it. He hates this place thinks it's fucked up. The litte girl is acting strange but no stranger than any five year old so the parents don't notice the fact she seems smaller and that her skin is sagging.

There's a town BBQ and everyone is going to be there. It's very strange. For some reason they're serving milk. The little boy is like no that's weird wtf.

His sister is acting strange. She's only speaking in moans and groans and won't let go of the skinzun. He points this out to the parents who just roll their eyes. They say hes jealous and they'll get him a skinzun. A strange man in a covered wagon cart full of skinzuns rolls up and is selling skinzuns the parents argue and fight over the skinzuns trying to buy one. Shithead kid is like wtf.

The other few kids in the neighbinghood are laughing at him he's like the fuck you laughing at and they're just like: your parents are gonna die.

The skinzun cart shows up when people aren't supposed to be here to get rid of them.

Kid is like ok fuck all this I need to kill this cat abomination so he arms himself to go home alone on this thing and get his sister and leave because clearly his parents aren't listening but oh no sister is a skinhe now and the house is bingflesh.

Anyway midway through writing this post I went wait this is the plot of troll 2 essentially but like I'd read that fic especially if in the neighbinghood lore it's like a based on a true story film and like only one thing is specifically not true and it's like... that anyone would ever resist becoming a skinhe when chosen to be morphed by a skinzun in order to replace a lost young. Everyone wants a taste of that nipple...

[princess-from-another-galaxy]

Finale!! Let’s go!! (Gonna write as I watch)

1)The scene with Luke was so cute but also a little creepy. What was up with that?? Also!! The initial narration of episode 1 is Percy quoting Luke?!?! My heart, I love them so much 🥺

2)Omg!! The fight was good af! Did... did Walker's eyes change color???? Not Ares trying to kill them with his " true form" as a last resort, sore loser.

3) mom??? Bro, you just saw her statue in the Underworld.... holy shit!!! Mrs. Dodds!!! The helm looks cool af ngl. Percy is so cool, like damn. Oh, yeah, the deadline passed, which means Poseidon & Zeus are definitely at war!!! That's what started WW2?!?! Gods being petty bitches... damn... He's done running from monsters 😭 (I love the implication that Zeus is a monster. You're right and you should say it.) Annabeth gave him her necklace 😭😭😭, that's so cute. An email, Grover 😂😂

4) That's one way to get Zeus's attention, damn. Just dropped the bolt in front if the doorman 😂😂. What do mortals see when they see the bolt??

5) Olympus looks cool af!! Oh, Luke & Percy again! Annabeth is terrified of spiders! Things that are small and scary get squished. Oh Luke is in his big brother mentor era!! Love to see it!

6) the council room!! The thrones look cool af, I can't wait to see all of the God's sitting on it! Oh, I have no idea how they're going to replace the actor, he is perfect as Zeus!! Yes!! Read him to filth Percy!!!! Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poseidon surrended for Percy 😭😭😭😭, I'm- Oh, Toby Stephens always eat. Omg!!! They're speaking Greek!! Is it Greek Greek or ancient Greek. Does anyone speak ancient Greek. Everyone?? What are Apollo, Artemis, Dionysus, and Demeter??? 😭

7) Percy and Poseidon!! Omg! Patrus 😭😭. Poseidon's smile about Sally... Bro... Ares is a moron 😂😂 (they've done the family vibe of the Olympians so well! 😂). Answer the question, Poseidon!!! Do you dream about her!?!?!

8) I wonder if thet planted that tree specifically to be Thalia's tree or if they just found a cool tree they liked lol. They hugged!! Holy shit, Clarisse is still here??? What is happening?!?!?

9) Luke being a responsible leader! We stan!! Annabeth being all cool, I see her!

10) fireworks! So cool!! The mommy issues in Luke are through the roof. Wait does Luke look like he's crying?? Wait what??? What do you mean she didn't???? Wait what?!?! Wtf. Luke?!?! No. LUKE SAY SOMEGHING! NOT THAT!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?! HOLY SHIT. IM CRYING. NO.

Oh, he's making some good points. This are some valid points. Episode 1 Percy would be eating this up ngl. I mean, not to be a bitch, but like... Luke sounds like those girls that have been groomed... all like "he loves me! He's gonna take care of me!" Like... are you sure???

Are they trying their best Percy?? Are they really?? I'm not an expert, but maybe don't mention his dad to the kid you know has daddy issues, if you don't want him to kill you, just a thought. I kinda of want Percy to say he's and go apeshit on the Gods ngl. He apologized for hurting Luke 😭😭😭. Wait, what??? Annabeth!! No!! 😭😭😭 she heard everything, Luke's face, my heart 😭😭😭 I was not ready for all of this emotion

11) Armed escort lol. He doesn't want you dead, he wants you next to him. Very persuasive... sounds manipulative to me.... Mr D! He's funny af. I'm 90% sure it's Peter😂. I don't think so 😂. Kicking them all out, I can't, bro...

12) Annabeth is going to see her dad?!?! Omg her hair looks so cute!! Her talking to Thalia's tree is cute. Her dad is taking her to Disney world 😭😭. Percy telling her to be a kid 😭😭😭 Grover is gonna search for Pan!! Percy is gonna help him search the seas!! (The next one is called sea of monsters right?? Maybe that's the "main quest"???) The hug!!! 😭

13) I hadn't realized it earlier, the beach is Montauk!! Where his mom went missing! It's the beach house they came to. She's here!!!! Look at her!!!! 😭😭 hugging her baby boy 😭😭wait what??? No, Sally!! Where are you?!?! Wait, is that kronos?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? Is he sassying time itself?!?!!?! Bro.... 😭😂😭😂😂 what does he mean?!?!?! What?!?!

14) Sally!!!!!! She's here!!! The fact that he's only just starting 7th grade is wild... he's baby. Percy calling Kronos grandpa, I can't 😂😂. Sally is done with Percy's shit , I can't. "Kronos, Lord of the Titans, said that?" I love her 😂

15) blue pancakes?? They look good af ngl. It's a storm!! Poseidon is also there for Percy's first day of school 🥺. Didn't percy have a step-dad?? The asshole one? What happened to him??

16) oh, there he is. What an asshole. Sally changed the locks 😂. Good for her!! What a dick. Wait.. is that.... is that Medusa??? Omg! Holy shit!! That's hilarious!! 😂😂 good riddance!!!

I have no words. I need a new season now!!! This was by far my new favorite episode!! I love this so much!!! I'm heart broken. I need more!!!

[glitteringcrab]

Evil Morty's detachment

One thing that originally struck me as extremely, horribly cold of Evil Morty and, in fact, the worst thing he has done, was him killing the district Ricks.

It's the... callousness of the thing. Like, I could get why he attacked and killed Ricks when he wanted to scan their brains but this... this meant that he got up in the morning, and just told his guards to kill other Ricks in the meeting today (or maybe he didn't even have to tell them; they're Ricks, they're smart).

That's... cold. Calculating. PREMEDIATED. It's just a meeting! No one's attacking him. I get it that it was predictable that some Ricks would refuse to accept him as a leader and that he'd Have To Do Something About It, but still... think of other moments in other movies, stories, etc. The misbehaving underling gets a warning. A threat. We've even see Rick threaten and kidnap people to get what he wants, not immediately kill them (despite boasting to Dr Wong that "he doesn't solve problems; he incinerates them". Evil Morty is Ricker than Rick sometimes).

It was just a meeting, and while the rest of us revise notes before a meeting, Evil Morty told his guards to be ready to shoot to kill. I think it was the coldest premediated murder in the whole series.

And he did it while watching through a freaking mirror, too!! HOW CREEPY IS THAT.

It's Evil Morty's utter callousness and detachment that made me doubt the Freaky Mortys Theory after the S7E9 episode, because he was visibly upset when Rick died, when Bigfoot was grieving; because he said that he "refused to kill [Rick] again" and that's NOT how Evil Morty acts. Evil Morty does not get upset. Evil Morty does not care if people die gruesome deaths or if they get tortured. Evil Morty would surely not beg for Rick to not make Evil Morty commit murder again.

...Except, well... the mirror thing.

Someone has to be an extremely horrible person to kill another and be so freakishly unbothered by it that they only deign to look at their victim through a mirror. While they're getting a haircut.

...or it's done by someone who actually did not want to watch their victim getting murdered, who would like to be anywhere else and to look at anything else.

Obviously, he still has to commit said murder; after all, if the district Ricks do not obey him, they won't do as they told, and he won't be able to ever blow up to Curve. He'll never be able to leave.

So he kills them anyway, and has to look to make sure it's done, but he does not manage to face them, and does not manage to look them in the eye. I think that at that moment Evil Morty was trying to distance himself from it.

And it's worth pointing out that he gave them a way out. "I think it's important to be clear. Raise your hand if he speaks for all of you". Of course, there is some pragmatism to that because the terrified survivors live to make sure never to displease their ruler again. Had all of them died, well... their replacements might be a bit unsure about what exactly transpired and maybe get uppity.

I'm not entirely sure about this theory because after he poured himself a drink (without drinking it yet) he seemed to cheer up significantly.

In a similar vein, in the S5 finale, when the Operation-Phoenix-ed Ricks and Mortys were rerouted to the blender tanks and their blood and guts were siphoned in a giant tank, I was horrified. That seemed like extremely heartless murder of every single citizen in the Citadel, just out of spite so that no-one would survive, or so no-one would come after Evil Morty.

It soon becomes apparent to us viewers that their viscera was somehow needed to help open the rift (wtf Rick C-137, how on earth did you build the wall around infinity and why it has the be taken down that way? Rick C-137 knew that something like this might happen, by the way. He knew that a rift opening would result in everyone dying, and he didn't seem surprised by the blenders).

Morty Prime is, of course, horrified:

...while Evil Morty keeps his gaze down.

At that moment I thought he was a cold unfeeling psychopath who couldn't ever bother to look at the horrible thing that was happening; like it was immaterial.

But after S7E9 I'm wondering if he kept his gaze down because he couldn't stand to look at this.

He still does it, because there's no other way out...

...but (if the Freaky Mortys Theory is true) in S7E9 he begs Rick not to make him kill again. Unfortunately he doesn't get his wish (although I'm gonna say that the Vikings don't count: they live to get killed in Valhalla lol. The Vatican guards definitely do count though).

And it's entirely possible that him freeing the Big Foot was, while a pretty dumb moment (Evil Morty, you know better than this!! You know it's suspicious when someone appears non-threatening because it's your signature move!! You were Evil-Mortied by the Bigfoot!!) it's possible that it was Evil Morty's first attempt at empathy in a long while. There he had before him a suffering creature that he suddenly felt a kinship to, a creature that was mistreated and abused, that committed murder while reacting in rage and then felt sorrow. In hindsight it's not entirely unlikely that Evil Morty would find himself suddenly moved by this and to act against his better judgement.

[otakween]

Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning

So, I saw The Beginning yesterday at an AMC theater. I saw it subbed to keep things consistent. I'm gonna split up my reaction into two parts: experience and the movie itself. Angry rant ahead...

Side note: Why is this movie called "The Beginning?" Are they planning more...? (I mean, they're always planning more I guess lol).

Theater Experience:

Always such a delight to see an anime movie in theaters, it's becoming as common as every-other-month these days which is very exciting! It's very rare that I get to see a movie like this that's a continuation of a series. Usually I'm not caught up enough to do that (although I did watch the Shirobako and Jujutsu Kaisen movies without watching the shows lol).

I had no idea that they were going to give me trading cards as I walked in!! This seems to becoming a more common gimmick these days. When I saw the most recent MHA movie they gave me a mini manga. More of this please! I know it's just cheap junk, but it makes the whole thing feel like an experience :D

Theater was more crowded than I expected and full of geeks, of course. I heard someone's ring tone go off and it was a Digimon sound effect. When the ad for the vital bracelet played one dude proudly shook his wrist in the air. I saw a Gatomon plush and the dude in front of me got so hype for the digivolutions that he started filming it on his phone (which I don't condone, but it was kinda funny seeing how into it he was).

Not a single child in the crowd. I guess this movie is obvious millennial-bait tho, so that's to be expected. (Also it was 7pm on a dark Thursday).

Cute little intro interview with the director was cute. My brain had to adjust to reading subtitles on a big screen. I guess I just don't watch foreign films outside the home too often.

Movie Reaction (MAJOR SPOLERS AHEAD):

WTF did I watch!? This movie was batshit crazy and I have many conflicting emotions. I feel like it was simultaneously super intense and really bland at the same time? Let me elaborate...

Putting aside the new dude for a second, the 02 cast really didn't do much in this at all. They all kind of acted as a collective instead of feeling like distinct people with their own roles to play. Their entire motivations/existence revolved around Lui's plot line which is really a bummer. Some characters, like Iori and Hikari were especially sidelined and bland (not that Iori was that great to begin with lol).

The only scenes I really liked with the 02 cast were when everyone (especially Miyako) was telling Lui to cut the edgy crap and just talk to them. I like when aloof characters are called out like that. Also, I liked the part where Miyako accused Daisuke and Ken of flirting teehee (queer baiting!? In MY digimon??) That got a laugh out of the audience too.

Okay...moving onto Lui's story. Jesus Christ. I liked where it was going at first and thought the whole grimdark, Madoka angle (major Kyuubey vibes) was interesting (if not a little too over the top), but then (in my opinion) they COMPLETELY bungled things!! So essentially, Ukkomon kills Lui's parents and potentially multiple children in their efforts to "make Lui happy" by making all the humans in his life behave "correctly." Horrifying and effectively creepy (especially in the scene where they "puppet" Lui's parents). This all culminates in Lui "killing" Ukkomon and losing his eye (which then gets replaced with Ukkomon's eye). I was on board for this horror angle, but then the 02 kids were like "awwww, poor Ukkomon~" WHAT. THE. FUCK. A kid tells you that a monster thingy killed your parents and your reaction is "but did you try being their friend??" Nooooo! So basically the rest of the movie is the kids victim blaming/gaslighting Lui into submission and he's like "you know what? It IS my fault that my parents died! I should have been a better friend." NOPE. This madness just ruined the whole thing for me. Like, what the hell were they thinking? Anyway, rant over. I'll go back to talking about the not as heinous things now.

I liked Ukkomon's sea angel-based design. I didn't exactly find them cute but they were good at being creepy. It was definitely disturbing to see what happens when a digimon partner is HATED by their human.

The "Unkomon" joke was funny but they didn't give a translator's note or anything so I was wondering how many people in my theater got it lol (I guess it depends on how much anime you've seen).

Lui's digimon eye looked really stupid and I think they knew that because they covered it up for most of the movie. I think it was more effectively shown in brief closeups but anymore than that it was just too goofy looking to take seriously.

The scenes about digimon bonds and the (obviously fake) threat of losing them were boring and cheesy. I think they were going for heartwarming, but something about it was very forced. The stakes definitely never felt real.

At the beginning of the movie they used smartphones to digivolve instead of their D3s...wha...?

Speaking of D3s, when they faded away (weirdly slowly) at the end and Hikari was like "what even was the digivice for anyway?" I had to laugh. That's what I've been saying! The lore around digivices, D3s, Arcs (or whatever Tamers wanted me to call them) has always been so vague. Anyway, I feel like they should be more concerned. Doesn't this mean they can't digivolve now...? (They acted like the power of friendship would just make it happen somehow, but I'm not convinced).

The updated digivolution scenes were fun (and funny to see on the big screen), but after watching Tamers, they still seemed lazily done comparatively. I still dislike that they show the greater digivolution at the start of the sequence. What's the point of that?

The movie started with Bolero, because of course. I had to roll my eyes at the nostalgia pandering. We also got a random reference to the first Digimon Adventure short film. That felt jarring since the animation style is so different.

So like...Lui time traveled and told his abusive mom to "be nice cuz your son loves you" and that just stopped all abuse forever? Riiiight...What is it with anime's crappy handling of child abuse lately? They pulled this same shit in Belle. You can't stop domestic violence by going "tsk tsk" to the abuser!

Rolling my eyes at Lui's introduction: "He's the first kid to ever partner with a digimon AND he has a super special eye AND cool grey hair AND his digimon can grant wishes." Serious "My OC don't steal!!" vibes.

Wait...I don't think they ever followed through with the "Ukkomon is connected to a digimon God" plot thread. Is that for the sequel or something? (Digimon 02 2 - The End? lol)

We got a little shipping stuff with Miyako and Ken at the end there. They had zero chemistry in the show and they continue to have zero chemistry in the movie...yaaaay.

I feel like, other than Daisuke and Lui, they just gave all the other guys the same haircut and they faded into the background lol. Ken just looks like some guy now.

Ukkomon's eldritch design was cool. I wish they just let him be evil instead of misunderstood...

So yeah, the writing in this was kind of a train wreck but I had fun regardless! Very curious to hear the dubbed version someday. How many people reprised their roles?

[weirdcat1213]

YEY THE HORRORS i mean YEY THE BOOKCLUB :D

thoughts on volume 6 (oh boi we're almost halfway someone hold me pls)

chap 1:

-OH MY GOD ITS HIM I FORGOT ABOUT HIM FOR A MOMENT (not in general, ik he's in 98)

-HEY HIS WINGS MAY BE CREEPY BUT THEYRE ALSO BEAUTIFUL TO ME >:[

-HOWEVER i love how yeah they are scared af but also get that vash as a person is not bad and they don't leave his side

-WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR BF LIKE THAT STOP STOP STOOOOOP. IDC THAT HE IS A LITERAL LASER CANON HES STILL JUST A LITTLE GUY

-are we...supposed to notice how bad the state of the gun is or...?

-nono brandon is right, i would also not give good guns to cops

-vash i fucking swear-

-SHUT UP YOU FUCKING COP >:[

-BRO WTF

-YEAH BRANDON CALL HIM OUT

-MY FAVORITE WEIRD CREATURE IS HERE

-ok in my 1st read didnt get that, idk why but i was confused about meryl getting worried for some reason. but she has a (sad) point. will one day the ptsd related to violence and guns be enough to make vash not shoot his gun? shes asking an interesting question. shes literally asking how much can vash take imo.

-wait so...was the replacement gun...the one in stampede??? (i will compare them later)

-DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE EYES MAN CMON

-I didnt notice he took the punisher lmao

chap 2:

-:c wolfwood having nightmares its not even a hc, IT IS CANON

-NOT THE FLASHBACK OF VASH CRYING BLOOD OUCH NO PLS NO

-:c im not even mad at wolfwood calling vash a monster cuz it must be fucking TERRIFYING but it still hurts :c

-you could...but youre not gonna

-"so yeah you cant be there for every problem in the pla- HOLD UP WHERE ARE YOU GOING"

-lmao meryl is like me fr

-this time i got most of the fight but i think we can all agree the mpv was the table

chap 3

-YEY LEGATO IN THE.....metal handbag?

-YES ELENDIRA FUCKING READ HIM

-OH MY GOD HES HERE HES HERE OH GOD NO

-i remember i was so confused i didnt realize THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE

-also did double fang kill trail of death?

chap 4:

-OH I LOVE THIS SCENE SM. i also hate walking in a place with a shit ton of people

-YES IT IS BABY, THATS THE SAME CHILD YOU [so so redacted] WOOOOOOOOO (i love this chapter)

-oh...yeah that...oh

-"we cant survive without her power, neither can you" dude...dont...just dont

-ah yes. the hair. yeap. just a cool artistic decision. yeap.

-also i forgot how fucked up the last run was here

-oh he felt it, i saw that in his eye

-oh so he also went apeshit....ohhhhh. ok so if vash went apeshit cuz of a physical fight or flight reaction (I THINK) did knives go apeshit cuz of hate? the physical need to kill people in revenge? nice

-BRO WDYM "why not just end this crusade?" YOU JUST SAW WHY HE WOULD NEVER END IT

-oh that was his last straw. one thing is him being tricked by a human but that lie affecting his brother? the one thing he's trying to protect (yes ik he's not doing the greatest job at it) from humans? yeah no you gotta die

chap 5:

-NO. NO. NONONONONONON NOT THIS CHAPTER NO

-I HATE THE METAPHOR ALREADY (i love it. i want to yell at nightow my thoughts about it. i will never be normal about it)

-pls no. im begging you. pls dont make me read this again. this is when my sanity starts to break into little raggedy pieces of paper

-i just notices this change happens cuz he got HIS MEMORIES BACK WHAT IF I ENDED IT ALL

-i dont want to read anymore

-its just. so fucking hard. like ik we say hes jesus. but at the same time jesus never felt like that. jesus was born without sin but in vash's eyes he is full of sins and no one can forgive him. bro, honey, god would forgive you anything. you are his favorite im sure. but no matter the arguments for the allegory vash can never be jesus cuz he carries the pain of his "sins" everyday PLUS THE ONES FROM THE HUMANS. idk. im sad and tired. my baby. its ok i forgive you. and im sure rem forgives him. im sure. im sad

-anyway, back to the kinda normal thoughts

-also i think vash thinking he has to forgive himself is kinda flawed. like instead of forgiveness he has to accept what happened and i think those are different things. ofc yeah july was messed up but he never intended to do it. idk

-ANYWAY

-huh, those speakers look like eyes

-cant even swallow in misery in peace anymore lmao

-:c not the day drinking

-i think thats vash talking but yeah....nothing is easy for my guy. hes kinda right, better than crying ig...

-i prefer spike-isms but i will also take needle noggin-isms thank u

-that man can move in such unnatural ways *hears the uncanny vash people cheer at a distance*

-oof, the ptsd got meryl

-also the question is not whether vash was going to take the bullet or not, the real question is how hard does that question makes me cry

- SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-OOF, i mean i 100% get meryl but OOF

-also YES THATS WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. AND I READ THIS ON [redacted] A FEW WEEKS AGO. THE BALANCE BETWEEN EXTREMES ITS JUST NULL, ITS NOT A COLOR AT ALL. his love and faith in humanity vs the pain they cause him...that balance creates a colorless emotion and IM SAD ABOUT IT.

-i hate that final page. i fucking hate milly protecting meryl from her memories while comforting her while protecting her from the rocks, i hate the people still insult vash even when he was long gone, i hate to see the children who saw the same thing as their parents try to convince them to stop because they know vash would never hurt people on purpose only to be ignored..and more than anything i hate vash apologizing for something he has no control over.

-ALSO I ALSO FEEL LIKE CRYING VASH-

[let it be on the record that i needed a minute to continue with the volume]

chap 6:

-OH NO IT STARTS

-"how could i have known?" youre telling me you spent years studying yourself and other plants and never saw one with black hair? really? (im not saying its a plot hole, im saying he was too distracted being a dick)

-so that was his imagination im assuming

-TESLA MENTION WE WIN

-OH GOD OH NO PLS GET ME OUT OF HERE NO PLS NOT THIS

-i love her dialogue with the funny glasses lmao, she really was the only mom ever

-oh..here come the tears

-oh right..they used to be like this

-oh...oh god

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Do you remember the pizza delivery SpongeBob ending where the fish yells at SpongeBob for not giving his drink and SpongeBob crying and squidward defense spongebob how about the replace the scene with SpongeBob and squidward s/o and the skeletons how would the skeletons defend the s/o crying

Here's the scene for those who don't have the reference!

Undertale Sans - That's ok. He can buy the pizza instead. Who cares about some stupid guy who can't enjoy your perfect delivery? Sans is putting a little more effort to make you laugh that night.

Undertale Papyrus - Oh. That's not very nice. Papyrus goes knock on the door. "YOU HADN'T ORDER ANY DRINK, I WAS THERE. NOW YOU WILL APOLOGIZE TO S/O FOR BEING AN UNGRATEFUL JERK. THIS MOMENT." The man is offended. "Who do you think you are?!" Papyrus takes a deep breath, then grabs the man by the collar and drags you at your feet. He won't let go before the guy apologizes and pays for his damn pizza. Delivery men are not your slaves!

Underswap Sans - Blue goes to do a surprise police inspection of his house for no reason. His hands are twitching. At the first illegal thing he sees, he's dragging the guy out to take him to the police station. He is totally abusing his authority and you know what? No one will ever believe him if he says anything because Blue is loved by his colleagues.

Underswap Papyrus - He just sits with you on the sideway and offers you a hug. Some people are just jerks. He recommands you to report the guy to your workplace so he can't order pizzas again in your shop. Clearly, he just wanting to be annoying.

Underfell Sans - Well. Exactly like in the video, Red grabs the pizza, knocks back, and then slams the pizza in the guy face. Unlike in the video, he then proceeds to beat the shit out of the confused screaming man on the floor, just so he gets the message. Asshole. You don't hurt his S/O.

Underfell Papyrus - He threatens the guy to take the case in court and he's like the most feared lawyer of the town, so either the guy pays the pizza twice its price or he's screwed. The guy shits himself when Edge starts to recitate random laws lines, and gives him the money. See? That wasn't that hard.

Horrortale Sans - When he sees the ruined pizza, Oak's head twitches. Did that asshole just ruined a perfectly edible pizza? That asshole is dead. He takes a huge axe out of his dimensional box in front of your very "WTF???" eyes and slams the door open. "Here's Sansy~" he says with a very dark and cavernous voice. All you can hear next are screams and begs. Oak won't kill the guy, but scare him enough to pay the pizza back to you in panic. He doesn't even take the pizza. Oh well. That's ok. Oak just sits on the floor to hug you to comfort you as he eats the pizza. He's purring happily.

Horrortale Papyrus - Willow is mad. This is no way to treat delivery men and even less food people cooked for you! He blocks the door before the man can closes it and starts to lecture him to death on good manners and the high value of food. The guy is bored at first, but Willow is really good at this and soon the guy is crying because he realises what he did was horrible. He apologizes, pays for the pizza and even gives you a huge tip. You're looking at Willow in disbelief. That's some bad witchcraft at this point.

Swapfell Sans - First, he conforts you a little, then he grabs the pizza, localises the guy's soul, and drags him out of his house by it, forcing him to pass through the closed door. "My girl/boyfriend brought this pizza for you. You are going to pay it, or I'll send you back to your house through the wall." he says in a whisper, with a very creepy voice. The guy doesn't take him seriously at first, but then Nox made a gesture to slam him in the wall and stops him inches before he touches it. This time, the guy cries in fear and pays the pizza. Here you go.

Swapfell Papyrus - He grabs the pizza and explodes it on the guy's window. You two are then forced to run as fast as you can as the guy called the police. Rus is flipping his middle finger at him until the end of the street. He has no regret at all.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He teleports the pizza, whole, in the guy's stomach. The guy starts to choke. While he is agonizing on the floor, Wine tells him that since he ate the pizza, he has to pay. The guy is terrorised and gives him his whole wallet. That's the most expensive pizza you have ever seen, but eh, now you can go in Italy like you wanted to for the weekend!

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Coffee is angry, and goes to knock again. "That's not very nice! Pay the pizza!" The guy punches him in the face and closes the door. Now both you and Coffee are crying on the floor. That's a rough day. That's ok. Tomorrow is another day...

[too-pirate-to-function]

about to go off on a Pearl Boy rant, just read the ending and I have Thoughts. trigger warnings in the tags, please read

1. chapter 79 and 80 ruined this story for me, watching Dooshik lead a gang rape after all the trauma that he’s watched Jooha go through was one of the most jarring experiences i’ve ever had in reading. how did we get here? Dooshik is the guy who always fucking saved the victims, whether he knew them or not. the idea that he organized and supervises a gang rape, comes up with this method on his own, and doesn’t even flinch is crazy to me. i thought he was going to join in at one point, that’s how bonkers this story got. the fact that Jooha finds out about it later is so so fucked up. this could’ve easily been just a torture scene and that WOULD have been in character for Dooshik! nothing else would’ve had to change, Jooha could still find out, the twins could’ve had their big moment, but no, Dooshik had to become a rapist in the final season and destroy everything his character stood for. generally i don’t complain about SA in bl stories because it’s so rampant but this is a crime against characterization

2. why didn’t Jooha get to kill Pilwon??? i thought the story was building to this from the moment Dooshik put the scissors in Jooha’s hands! he even goes to Pilwon’s house to kill him! confronts him on the roof yet the only thing he gets to do is act as the damsel! and then Pilwon gets killed offscreen by a side character!!! i cannot believe the writer fumbled the story when narrative satisfaction was right there.

3. why the two drownings?! if they were always going to die why did they drown twice?! first when they jumped off the cliff together and then a second time for no reason after they had found a bitterly sweet happy ending. it feels redundant and honestly it cheapens the second one which was already the weaker one.

4. Jooha died twice. first when he lost his memories after falling, but hey he got to fall in love all over again without the trauma or understanding of what he’s gone through with the man he loves. then he dies for real after chasing his cats onto thin ice. i cannot. pick a tragedy lane and stick to it goddamn it. Jooha was who i finished this story for and i was so upset to see how dirty this finale did him. when he walked out on the balcony with Dooshik and Pilwon and a chain around his wrist i thought maybe we’d get another badass Jooha moment where he whips that chain into Pilwon’s stupid dick face. hit his other eye. or at least he’d inherit Pilwon’s fortune after he dies since there was some adoption paperwork in place?

5. the main characters die after Jooha chases their cats out onto thin ice. wtf. where did that come from?! it honestly fucking feels like the writer gave up and slapped us with her balls on the way out the door

6. Choonbae briefly appears to fight Jooha because??? and then that doesn’t even fucking matter since Jooha loses his memory!?! the friends Dooshik has and his family literally don’t even matter which is so frustrating because i enjoyed his host friends so much and i wanted to meet his sister.

7. Choonbae was another character done so dirty because the manwha introduced him and made him seem like he was going to get more involved with Pilwon right before it dropped him harder than me as a baby. if Jooha wasn’t going to kill Pilwon then Choonbae would’ve been an acceptable replacement, especially if he saw what a monster he really was.

8. the pearls completely lost their significance the last season, but i think if the world saw that one revenge porn video then Jooha’s secret might’ve come out? plus by the end Pilwon isn’t even doing this for the pearls anymore, not even as a creepy memorabilia type thing. i just feel like the importance of the pearls to the villains and the danger of people finding out got strangled by the narrative

9. the author’s note at the end that claims this story was written out beforehand, i call BS. i feel pretty confident i can tell what storybeats were planned out and which ones were slapped together and this dumb tragedy ending where they drown together after chasing their cats is obviously the latter. it’s so frustrating to see this story fumbled in the third season, in the final act.

10. WHO IS RUNNING THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT IF THE LEADERS ARE ALL ON VACATION. I JUST WANT TO KNOW.

[lustlovehart]

I haven’t had the time to read 4 or 5, BUT WHAT???? EXCUSE ME????? HE’S BEEN DEAD THIS WHOLE TIME????? I’m heartbroken, I’m crying. I’m already attempting to recover from Till in alnst, BUT SKULLY TOO???? At this point send me to the grave with him and It’ll become a Nightmare before Christmas x Corpse Bride crossover.

Imagine being Skully’s lover from when he was alive, and in an attempt to see your beloved Halloween king again, you’ve dedicated your entire life to finding a way to see him again. Coming across numerous solutions, even going so far as immortalizing yourself just to have a chance to see him again, disguising as an NRC student forevermore to remain in the only place of any memories you have with him.

At this point you’ve lost all hope, condemned to lose any semblance of self and remembrance of Skully, rotting alone in Ramshackle and mindlessly going on as a student.

Until you find a book with the group, getting sucked in with all of them, waking up in the lap of a man that seems… much too familiar. Yet, you can no longer place who he is.

“A kiss, to you lovely person.” This gesture is also, much too familiar. Going on with preparing Halloween with him feeling a sense of comfort every time you speak. Even when he goes rampant and knocks out Jack, he turns to you with a smile. Even with Grim fighting in his newfound pumpkin form within the sack, he acts as if he doesn’t exist, looking at you like you respect such decisions.

You know it’s wrong, you know it’s cruel, yet you can’t help but take his hand in yours and stride away.

When preparations are done, and your way home is nigh, Skully grabs you, excluding anyone from seeing as he hugs you with the intimacy of a lover. You’re unsure why that’s the case, but without realizing it you take your arms and wrap them lovingly around his neck. Tears are coming from your eyes but you don’t wipe them, salty rain drenching his alive skin. Alive…

Alive…?

“Skully… Please tell me you’ve come back…”

“I wish.” He leaves you with one last oath, to always love you beyond the grave.

When you come out of the book, there’s a sense of warmth you haven’t felt in a long time. But, it’s gone as quickly as it came, being replaced with the cold feeling of grief. What remains from your ventures in the book are only vestiges of a happiness, the events that truly transpired a forever mystery.

Except, it’s only when Crowley introduces the grave of the dearly departed king of halloween do you remember your dearly beloved. Cursed to forget your meeting, and forever trapped in a perpetual cycle of finding your true halloween.

Or alternatively You die and meet Skully in the afterlife and he’s like “wtf you’re not meant to be here yet.”

It’s really giving me corpse bride ideas. Skully practice proposing to your skeletal hand and it turns out you’re the creepy zombie that lurks around him every halloween!! It’s okay, you were the one he was gonna propose to anyway so all is fine <3

MERA THE SKULLY LORE

MERAAAAAAA THE SKULLY LORE

MY HEART IS IN SHAMBLES. EVERYONE IS DYING IN OCTOBER. THIS IS SO SICK AND TWISTED AND AAAAAAAAAA. T^T even if I suspected it from the beginning, I couldn’t believe it and yet………. somehow this makes his entire character even sadder. :(

(spoilers below the cut!!!!)

FORMER NRC GRADUATE!!!!! CENTURIES OLD. A STUDENT FROM RAMSHACKLE DORM, WHO POPULARIZED HALLOWEEN AND BECAME KNOWN AS THE KING OF HALLOWEEN. OMG HE IS EVERYTHING TO ME. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I hope he was buried somewhere in the Ramshackle cemetery. I need to be out there cleaning up around his grave and leaving fresh flowers and making sure everything is legible on his gravestone so that he’s never forgotten and always honored. <3

Thinking about you getting into trouble with Trein (caught sleeping in class one too many times), so as punishment he assigns you to write an essay about why it’s important to stay awake during class. It’s a very boring subject, and you think you’ll be smart with it (something something at least you’re not dead in his class), but then you trip over an old, overgrown grave at Ramshackle and you brush aside all of the leaves and vines and find a name inscribed. And suddenly you think you’ll do your essay on this person with their unique name. And somehow that’ll tie back into an essay about why sleeping in class is bad. 🤓☝️

In short, honoring Mr. Graves through an essay investigating his life and death hehe. In which you end up learning some sort of lesson. I JUST WANT TO WRITE ABOUT HIM MORE AAAAAAAAAA. OTL

[laryna6]

Hmm, Cha Hae-In... if she ran into Sung Jin-Woo at the sword school somehow and is ? that he smells good?

Sugar Mama Cha Hae-In + the Hunters’ Guild going ‘these two are adorable we are going to make this ship sail’

Also he’s adorable and her sword teacher tells her that he keeps getting injured but keeps going on hunts, people think he’s an idiot rich boy in it for the thrill but he doesn’t buy that, no defense and yet he gets wounded protecting their healer too.

Cha Hae-In using her vice guildmaster position to offer him a position on the resource gathering teams, and watching as he goes from shut down and dead inside to smiling and friendly and starting to actually talk to people. They’re like sure, he’s not the fastest/strongest worker, but he’s hard working and does his best and pays attention to instructions.

Meanwhile Sung Jin-Woo is ‘this job comes with medical insurance!’ and Jin-Ah is ‘I don’t have to worry about my brother dying anymore! The Hunter’s Guild would absolutely have like, whole guild social functions where you bring your family and Jin-Ah wanting to talk to Cha Hae-In and explaining the situation and being ‘thank you so much for saving the life of my last family.’

So Cha Hae-In is *manly tears* Such a wonderful big brother! So filial! So cute!

Sung Jin-Woo starts bringing her lunch to thank her and she’s ‘you don’t have to...’ (but it’s really good) ‘I am rich af let me pay you’ and Sung Jin-Woo is ‘sure’ because money.

... to skip ahead, shadow!Choi Jong-In continuing to do paperwork, corresponence and checking over payroll after death leaves him Not Impressed with Ashborn wanting to ditch Jin-Woo (especially after finding out Ashborn made Jin-Woo responsible for his army)

So like, the entire Hunter’s Guild is like, ‘Cha Hae-In has a boyfriend... but we already know him and he is a Good Kid not like, someone who wants to feel dominant over a powerful woman or any of that BS and oh hey this food is really good’ So Choi Jong-In goes ‘we’re going to have a cafeteria now and provide lunches for all the gate teams’ and puts Sung Jin-Woo in charge of it and people are like ‘this is why we call u a genius’

People are like ‘when are you going to ask him out’ and Cha Hae-In is ‘as vice guildmaster I’m his boss! I can’t hit on him!’ so Choi Jong-In is like ‘congratulations you own a restaurant in our guild building now with a lucrative contract with our guild’

Now it’s ‘i can’t hit on him at work! And he feels like he really owes me, I don’t want to make him feel like I was... expecting things’

They are like ah! She is such a good person for an s-rank! Ok, then they need Sung Jin-Woo to make a move! Plan 1: he seems to like watching her train even though he can’t follow a lot of her movements, so we’ll invite him along to watch a fight.

Next up is a double dungeon, but it appeared in a low rank dungeon and the measurements are still weak AF. So like, it’s a mission that the Hunter’s Guild can go on like, just to be sure! But almost certainly safe for an e-rank.

And then you have Choi Jong-In and Sung Jin-Woo scrambling to figure out the rules. Cha Hae-In carrying Sung Jin-Woo over her shoulder, someone else taking Choi Jong-In after he passes out burning up all his MP in the hopes of taking out the statue’s eye beams. 

So they’re around the altar with their unconscious boss and the e-rank up on it in the center to be safest, and they’re staring down the statues and debating ‘do we send Cha Hae-In out the door to carry the guildmaster and Sung Jin-Woo to safety, or does that door scream obvious trap because the rule is ‘prove your faith’ and wouldn’t leaving the temple be abandoning your faith?

And Cha Hae-In and Sung Jin-Woo are ‘that would leave you guys without any s-ranks against a very high a boss if not worse.’ and it’s the hunter guild’s duty to close gates first. This gate was counting down when it was reported as a double dungeon, they cannot let this boss gate breach.

The flames count down and, hmm, should the architect react like a thwarted bully or improv some new bullshit to act like everything is within his calculations? So he goes ‘to prove your faith you must now offer a sacrifice’ but instead of obviously giving up the weakling to keep the others alive they’re like yeah, fuck no (’if the porter/guest gets hurt the whole guild has failed’)

So he grabs Jin-Woo and unleashes the statues on the humans with orders to make it hurt but not finish them off, and tells him ‘get on that altar and you’ll be able to leave here with them.’

And Jin-Woo knew he was willing to die for Jin-Ah and Mom, but they’re safe now and he owes that to Cha Hae-In and everyone at the Hunter Guild’s kindness. so he’s ‘ok’ and they are ‘nonono’

He wakes up at the hospital, told he’s the only survivor and he’s been asleep for a month, which... he knew the boss was a lying bastard, monsters don’t spare humans, but he couldn’t just not even TRY/do anything.

...WTF is this? He thought seeing that screen before was some kind of pre-death brain screwery. Jin-Ah and the Hunter’s Guild b-team start coming in and he’s ?? are you guys seeing this? THey are ‘what did that thing do to poor helpless e-rank good boy?!’

Choi Jong-In measures him as an A rank, but instead of being happy Sung Jin-Woo is going through status screens on job class an abilities and...

And then he pales.

And summons the dead.

The boss said ‘he’d go home with them.’ Effing literal words... They can’t speak, but they touch his shoulder to say it’s okay.

...He...

Sung Jin-Woo ends up rejoining the Hunter’s Guild after leveling to S because without any S ranks it would have lost a lot of prestige and ability to take more valuable gates and pay for all the salary, benefits and expensive protective armor.

Doing the JeJu op and since he’s OP, replacing the Draw Sword guild as emergency call-in guild for southeast asia due to like ‘why would we charge you fees A rank gates are where the money’s at if anything we should be paying you for finding them for us’

But if Min Byong-Gyu does die and get turned into a shadow but talks to Baek Yoon-Ho re ‘hey I’m being forced to adore that guy his power is really creepy get me out of here’ and Baek is concerned about Choi Jong-In too...

Sung Jin-Woo’s reaction to the idea his friends are being FORCED to care about him/not be mad he was a useless e-rank and couldn’t save them...

Ashborn seeing Sung Jin-Woo with comrades that ~died with him, like he resurrected his fallen soldiers after did... even more ‘like me’ so earlier decision to not possess.

Ms. Selner going ‘there is great darkness in you’ and he’s ‘can you tell me anything else?’

Hunter’s Guild Shadow Squad wanting to powerlevel for Cartenon temple rematch and then they get sealed instead of getting to attack that bastard? FFFFFFFFFF

instead of ‘get necromancer class’ it’s ‘unlock a prestige class’ so he does get Igris.

He wants to get stronger so he can stop this from happening again, and making sure gates got cleared and people were safe is what they wanted... right?

More examination of using his power on humans/to preserve human souls since like, he can’t get valid consent NOW.

...Chairman Yoo going ‘those lizards killed my son, stole his equips, and made me pay them for being ‘kind’ enough to carry his body out, but I can’t do sh*t because the older brother’s an s-rank,’ and bowing his head.

So Sung Jin-Woo shadowing Jin-Ho, who gets adopted into squad happily. That way he can ask him to confirm ‘those guys did murder you, yes?’

Hunter’s Guild is guild conference rep for Korea OFC, people from guild helping Jin-Woo study up on who everyone is and the contacts they’ve got/are working on. Hwang Dong-Su kidnaps someone else.

During Ashborn meeting Choi Jong-In showing up to SHAME Ashborn for planning to sleep forever (suicide ideation) bc as a leader he should be more responsible than to ditch someone else to take care of the org he’s responsible for. If Choi Jong-In is doing paperwork from behind the grave, this guy isn’t going to get to lie around when humanity desperately needs more combatants at this level/Jin-Woo shouldn’t have to die alone.

[roblox-milf]

How to escape from yandere izuku works 100% every time

are you tired of planning an escape for months, building a bobby pin from a fork you stole, and pretending that you like being stalked? well say no more:

step 1.

when you wake up, most likely in his bed and he says hi ily just say ‘no inglés por favor gracias“ and he’s gonna be like 🤨🤨 wtf did you just say??

so while he’s distracted translating what you said through Google, you should use that time to roll off your socks and grip his rock hard sleep apnea pillow with your double-jointed Toes And get ready to swing.

and once he turns around, you throw that pillow at Mach 1, make a dent in his frontal lobe, discombobulate his hairline.

if he dodged/caught the pillow:

izukus relatively level-headed and calm, and sees you as a nothing short of a divine being that, as far as he's concerned, can do no wrong, so when he looks back and forth from the steaming pillow to you, he will wait for an explanation.

at this point, you wanna start using body launguage, wave your hands around, and muster the most apologetic face you can while saying a bunch of random shit that will force izuku to once again translate.

ex: "ja mappelle el churro mi gusta casa es familia lo siento burger yum yum sphagettti aaa"

even if he might not know what the hell your saying, he'll pick up on your apologetic body movements, and shake his head and reassure you with nervous hands waves that your good, theres nothing to worry about!

so while hes busy putting whatever mouth gravy you spat out through google translate, its gon be harder to do something as he'll nervously glance your way every 2 seconds.

but you have to remember: be creative.

shout at him and get his attention.

when he looks at you, point to your lower half and signal hey i have to take a fat shit can i go?? and 10 times of 9 he'll be like yeah ofc bb :DDDD

so when your in the bathroom, he wont watch you, thats creepy and not cool.

instead he'll make you keep the door atleast 1 foot open.

so when your in the bathroom, you gotta be fast and quick.

first off, start grunting and blowing raspberrys in the air, slap your thighs n shit just make sure that it sounds like you are taking a horrendous doo-doo.

while you do that, look around, a stray bobby pin or knife will do just fine. and once you find something akin to that, hide it in the waistband of your mom jeans that you are definitely totally wearing.

if you couldnt find a stray bobby pin or something sharp:

flush yourself down the toilet, your done.

If you did:

when you get out, point behind him and when he looks, with no hesitation, you stab both his eyes and get arrested for murdering number 1 hero deku after nobody belived that he kidnapped you, and live the rest of your life in prision questioning your life choices.

If everything went according to plan from the beginning:

after hitting him with the pillow, if everything went alright, he should be on the ground passed out.

He'll probably have you in like, hello kitty handcuffs or sm but thats okay, all you need to get out of any restraintments is this one trick!

eat through it.

so once your done, your gums might be bleeding and if your lucky you'll have a mild case of tetanus and rabies.

but thats ok! you can replace your teeth, but you cant replace your freedom.

Now you should disarm izuku.

this dudes stronk as hell, and for bonus points he crazy so you have to be creative.

go to the bathroom and put a chair infront of the shower and turn it on, so it sounds like the water is hitting something solid.

then, drag his ass to the bed and burrito him up in blankets, and then leave a note next to him along the lines of 'get some rest babe, ily -y/n p.s. if im still in the shower when you wake up just make dinner and wait, sorry if i dont respond if you call out to me lol im deaf'

ideally, if and when he wakes up he'll read the note and think 'oh i guess we dating idk why i cant remember but oh well yay'

best case scenario, that should keep him from being sus for like 6 hours before he starts feeling like somethings up.

So, your inside his house, check urself for any tracking devices cause hes a sneaky hoe, and then steal his money, get food, preferably beans, knife for protection, (also hide a fork in your sock just in case), and skedaddle.

so after crawling through a 2 by 2 inch doggy door, haul your ass to a salon and completely change yourself, new hairstyle, straighten/curl your hair, go bald, just look different.

after getting your cut, you should wear a mask and sunglasses, in the world of bnha little things like that wont be looked at twice as people would just assume it has something to do with your quirk.

now, create as much distance between yourself and izuku's totally alive body. By taxi is the best option, they will take you across the ocean as long as you pay.

by now, you should realize that you'll never truly escape him completely, you will have to start a new life and never talk to your family again, yes your away from him, but in a way, he's still always there.

That and he also implanted a tracker in your stomach so you were never really getting away in the first place.

[dangermousie]

CFC 195

1. He has steel bones in his legs? Cyborg He Yu, here we come!

2. So his story is he fell into the sea and got rescued by a random Australian ship and healed in Australia. Riiiiight, because a random ship totally sailed into a gun battle unspotted by the cops or the bad guys. And we all know that HY, if he was able, would never not contact XQC however heartbroken he was. And yes, there is the little matter of loyalty device right in his heart tho general public doesn’t know about it of course.

3. XQC thinks HY doesn’t come find him after he’s back in China because he broke HY’s heart. OMG dummy!!! I mean, yes you did, but why don’t you also think of all the creepy methods org has and check he is OK?

4. XQC wanting to text HY and being afraid and typing and deleting over and over and even writing it out with pen and paper and eventually just sending a hello how are you is - I remember HY agonizing over text messaging him and now the tables have totally turned and I love it. (I am not referring to HY’s heart-breaking “I am sick” messages but earlier and later less devastating attempts.)

5. But there is no reply even tho he waits for 24 hours, even tho he jumps every time a notification pops up and just - stop messing with XQC, he is and always will remain my fave and I feel like hunting down anyone and anything that hurts him even if it’s HY and even if there are reasons.

6. And he thinks of how HY sent a message when he was sick and suicidal and he didn’t respond and views it as karma and fuuuuuck. I am team go date Chen Man now and be happy, I don’t care how irrational and absurd it is (which I fully acknowledge), I just want XQC to stop hurting and as a reader, I will always pick XQC over HY, which is a bias I acknowledge but whatever.

7. XQC tried to call, no answer and now he just watches HY on TV as if to reassure himself HY is still alive and to see his smile even if it’s fake. Ohhhh, it kills me, because XQC’s love like everything he feels is so quiet and so contained and so unyielding.

8. He comes home to see his meds not neatly stacked but strewn about and is all “oh I bet it was Auntie Li” and takes his meds. OMG, XQC clearly you never had a talk about leaving your drink unattended, God knows what the fuck they’ve been replaced with, I am terrified now. Though tbh, most likely it’s HY sneaking in and seeing what XQC has been up to.

9. His body totally expresses what he cannot!

And he wakes up and puts his grief and longing away. Of course. What else can he do?

10. Yup, bionic foot(?) that aches in bad weather. Awww, they can have matching bionic implants /sarcasm so as not to feel sad. And XQC goes to bringa helpful med for HY even tho he has no expectation of being seen. Just stop - my heart can’t take it!

11. And guards check with HY and are all “dude you are lying he doesn’t know you go away” and gossip behind his back but XQC can hear. Too bad they didn’t fucking chop off your tongue instead, He Yu! I feel like I time traveled back to the fall of 2021 when all I wanted was HY’s head on a platter.

I hope HY fucking rots. (Yes, yes, there may be a plot reason and also HY could still be super emotionally hurt blah blah, rational Mousie has left the building and Rageful Mousie took her place.)

12. HY and XQC meet when XQC is carrying Ya Ya to sleep in the hotel. And HY is all “is this your child?” and when XQC says it’s his niece, he says “thought you were remarried.” WTF! Is he just being a bitch or is his mind really screwed with? And then before XQC can feel a teeny bit of warmth because maybe that means HY is jealous, HY is all “you should get remarried, you are getting old.” Oh, fuck off!

13. HY says “oh, it looks like one of your eyes doesn’t work, why?” and XQC responds “I forgot” and I cracked up so hard.

14. Even Ya Ya can tell XQC wants to cry, though of course he never will.

15. This is heartbreaking, XQC’s dream:

I do wonder if it happened but then how was the kid back in his arms when he woke up? So alas, probably just a dream.

16. HY offers him and Ya Ya a ride at the end of the chapter and I want to scream as in a horror movie: “don’t get in!” but also it’s the sexathon car aahahahah I can’t imagine how long it took to get cleaned, probably the entire time HY was in “Australia.”

17. HY either is pretending to look like a good little soldier or his memories got fucked with but either way, because of how he “died,” XQC thinks it’s just HY being done (and HY clearly was heartbroken tho this isn’t all of it) and doesn’t look further. Yet. I am sure he will and there will be more heartbreak.

In conclusion, great chapter, not feeling charitable towards HY because am always biased in favor of XQC, tomorrow come soon etc etc.

[bravequackcathal]

i thought of a v3 au earlier where the characters are replaced by characters from past games they share a va with (hiro/gonta, shuichi/leon, etc)

and now i cant stop thinking about hifumi as a robot bc he shares a va w kiibo

edit: gonna elaborate more

-he totally calls himself "robo justice" as a nickname

-he has a crying function but not an eating/drinking function

-hes close friends w akane bc ya know. ultimate inventor cause she shares a va w miu

-he doesnt have the weird hamster face (he makes the :3 face a lot tho)

-he has little wings by default bc he thought theyd look cool so he wanted them added

-hes not creepy like he is in thh bc i said so

some things abt other characters

-the kubs, instead of being replaced, are wearing mini outfits of the people they share vas with (monosuke has a black and white outfit since monokuma doesnt wear clothes, also taro still has his scarf bc yea)

-teruteru finds the mask uncomfortable so he doesnt wear it

-also, teru isnt a perv either because I Said So

-aoi actually wears a shirt unlike angie

-the deaths and stuff remain the same

-sayaka is tsumugi, but the tips of her hair are brown and one of her eyes are brown as well to represent chihiro

-leon has his jacket thingy open idk wtf its called

-soudam is real bc i said so

-hiro consistently forgets the names of bugs despite being an entomologist bc hes just An Idiot <3

-yes, nagisa replaces maki (i cant say much about him cause i really havent seen much of udg)

-the friendships in this au are different from canon bc different characters

thats all i can think of rn lmao

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

TMA fics ive thought about/am writing

Crack fic where mister spider is martins adopted father and Jon wasn’t eaten as a kid bc Martin had a crush

time travel fix it but it’s season 5 jon in season 1 and it’s 99.99 percent just him being allowed to process his trauma

Martin and jon laughing about the fact they’re both trans and that martin had originally been planning on choosing the name John after keats

Ghost martin haunting jons flat, occasionally possessing him to take naps and eat, and jon stubbornly refusing to acknowledge he can in fact see this ghost and that this is weird

one of the boys (undecided) sends their consciousness back to season one and accidently body jack the other, there by trying to A) seduce themself as the other without getting too weirded out (oh yeah, did i mention the other persons consciousness is still in there? Because it absolutely is and they are just going “wtf are you doing with my life”) B) save the world and convince the others to do things that will aid that goal without telling them whats going on C) Don’t be suspicious. 

cat boy jon

Martin is beholding and has been all along, just forgot it, and it makes many of his interactions with jon very awkward bc like that’s his archivist thats a part of his fucking BRAIN wtf but also crush is still a thing WHAT

Web Martin but season one and he meets Jon for the first time in the tunnels and temporarily kidnaps him to heal worm scars

Based directly on @fakecrfan au of martin x tapes where beholding is in love with martin and uses all of the institute staff to try and woo him and stalk him as he freaks out that all his coworkers have been replaced or possessed or SOMETHING! Elias tried to tell him how attractive his bone structure was. Tim and Sasha keep trying to convince him tape recorders are sexy. Jon’s nice to him???????????????????

Dom sub?

Martin Time travel fixes it alone but refuses to actually interact with the people he’s saving so from their pov its “WTF. My job burned down and our boss blinded, and the next day all four of us got calls for the same job that none of us applied to” and also he’s in a band

I ALMOST FORGOT TO SAY MER MARTIN FUCK! He may be a giant mermaid i am undecided on that sorry i can not help my little gt heart

Jon finds his entire consciousness stuck in the tapes but doesn’t know that’s where he is, him and martin go on quest to try and find out what’s going on

Beholding Jon but like. Less monster more just general creepy.

CORRUPTION MARTIN BABY!!!!!!! THIS BAD BOY CAN FIT SO MUCH LETS HIMSELF GET INTO TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS IN HIM!

 Selkie au possibly? Had it planned forgot for who

Ghost Martin AGAIN but he has no idea he’s dead and has been haunting the archives the whole time bc WHY did they have “you didn’t die here did you?” ONLY TO HAVE LIKE THREE FICS OF GHOST MARTIN IT’S LUDICRIOUS

leitner of small your archivist

borrower jon but everyone knows about borrowers in this universe 

EMPATH JON EMPATH JON EMPATH JON!!!!! HE’S LIKE THAT WITH MARTIN BC STOP GETTING YOUR SADNESS ALL OVER ME IT’S UPSETTING PLEASE JUST GO AWAY I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS RN and also he seems so bad at emotions bc he can’t tell what he is magically knowing they feel and what is just body langue or whatever so he makes up for it by pretending to get zero emotions ever

Martin literally turns into a spider

beholding martin again but this time he’s like actually beholding and never been human and also still in love with jon so it’s spooky. He also does not understand why his archivist is unhappy with the apocalypse and demands he take back his gifts of more eyes. He thought they were rather cute >:(

Martin is unsettling but in really mundane funny ways. Example: they get stuck Michaels corridors where the doors won’t open, and he casually pulls an entire doorknob out of his pocket. Jon gets hurt and he whips out an entire liter of blood he just happened to have on him. Is he supernatural? Nope! Is this ever explained? Also no! He is just like that the little weirdo 

Good omens crossover where crowley and azi are certain jon and martin are an angel and demon but can’t settle on which is which, jon is certain they’re avatars, and martin realizes half way through what’s going on but purposely stirs the pot bc it’s really funny

Aro sasha and everyone being unsettled by not sasha having a bf for reasons they can’t figure out :’(

again inspired by @fakecrfan but martin x tapes season 4 and it’s just the tapes very little possession literally just tape recorders trying to seduce him poorly would be entirely crack

((feel free to ask about or talk about any of these please Im dying. If I post these I will try and remember to link them here))

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 93 - Contaminant

Hope I haven’t upset Georgie too much. How can she be mad? She’s got you. Er, yep, that’s your arse. Thanks for that. Look, I know, I love you too, but can I have my lap back? - Jon

I LOVE ADMIRAL SO MUCH! (Also "Yep, that's your arse, thanks for that." is such a cat owner mood, it had me giggling weeks after listening to this episode just from randomly remembering it.)

Bet the world ends, and you do just fine. - Jon

Welp, that's a bit prescient of Jon!

Then, last year, the… unthinkable happened. Hereditary conditions, right? They… They can really ruin… everything. The doctors told us the chances of it happening were astronomical, like we should be proud of having something so unlikely march in and ruin our lives, but within ten months both myself and Greg were widowers. - Statement of Lester Chang

I didn't even have a connection to this statement giver yet but this was a real gut punch moment. He sets up this whole story of family life and then, just like that, it's all gone.

I didn’t handle it well. I was still deep in grief myself, and I almost broke down, pleading with him, telling him it wasn’t healthy. When I said that, he laughed. He actually threw his head back and laughed. It was one of the most unnerving sounds I’d ever heard.

I can imagine this scene quite vividly, including the unnerving-ness of the laughter.

I shook my head and turned to leave, but as I did so, I saw a small flash of colour in the bath. I pulled back the white curtain and looked down. Surrounding the edges of the plug’s pristine chrome was a small halo of purple. I leaned over to get a closer look. It appeared to be some sort of fungus, scrubbed away so only the faintest traces remained.

At the point where it became clear what this episode was going to be all about, my partner started to tease me a little because we, too, have mould (of the hopefully non-supernatural sort) in our bathroom and I have, at times, gotten a tad anxious and obsessed about getting rid of it (not cause of the health effects, just cause it looks ugly and also anxiety about what the landlord may say on the off-chance he actually comes around).

It looked like my father-in-law was moving, though. I remember, it was Breekon and Hope doing it; they had a depot a ways down the street, and I recall thinking how odd that was, using a couple of local lads with such a small van, given how much furniture they were having to load up from Greg’s house.

Hm, what ARE Breekon and Hope getting out of this? A stockpile of contaminated furniture?

I’ve already stayed here too long. It’s not fair, putting her in danger like this. Or the Admiral. - Jon

Yeah, don't endanger the kitty!

Are they a neutral party, carting round whatever horror needs delivering, just a piece of otherworldly infrastructure?

I adore the phrase 'otherworldly infrastructure'

Jon: Then, a couple of years ago, the Head of the Archives, Gertrude Robinson, she disappeared, and Elias, my boss, chose me as her replacement. Georgie: Why?

Georgie's got a sharp mind, gotta hand it to her. She immediately zeroes in on how Elias hiring Jon doesn't actually make sense.

Jon: Head Archivist. Georgie: Well that does make sense, actually. In context. (...) What I mean is, if there’s no-one above you, there’s no-one to point out you’re doing everything wrong.

She's being a bit rude, but also, she's not wrong...

Jon: Look, can we put my professional competence to one side, please. Because I’m trying to tell you monsters are real! Georgie: Okay.

This was both a "WTF" moment and a moment of relief. WTF because, well, that is NOT the reaction I expected at all, but a moment of relief because I absolutely loathe media dwelling on someone telling the truth and their friends and loved ones, the people that they should be able to trust, thinking they're delusional or lying. I can't consume media like that without becoming really, really anxious. So I'm glad TMA didn't go there.

Jon: Right, it’s… it’s just, I think I’m turning into one. Georgie: Really? That’s… not great.

Well, that's one way to put it!

Jon: What is something you would never choose to tell me? Georgie: When we first met I thought you were putting on that accent to sound more impressive.

Okay, but that's a hilarious thing to compel out of someone!

Jon: And sometimes they choose people to be… er, servants? Conduits? Georgie: Avatars?

Oooh, I had forgotten that Georgie coins the term 'avatars'!

Georgie: If your job is asking questions, I mean. You were always the one who pushed too far, and asked smart-arse, awkward questions. I always was surprised you never got punched.

Yup, Jon is natural Eye fodder.

Jon: Would be nice to meet a monster, and not have a scar to show for it.

Oh god. This line in hindsight...

My impression of this episode

I think on the first go this episode didn't impact me as much as it just did. Actually, the horror, the Corruption, here isn't the most impactful thing (though it's plenty creepy), but this time around I read it more as a story of the trauma of loss - the statement giver losing his wife and then losing his last connection to her (her father) through what he first thinks is mental illness caused by trauma (and there's where it connects up with real life) but turns out to be something worse. And that actually really got to me. Then there's the conversation of Georgie and Jon, which goes over a lot of stuff we already know but somehow manages to remain interesting despite that. And the cliffhanger the episode ends on - what is it Georgie knows? - is pretty exciting, too.