#HERE WE G O
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@rcmantorchwick | X
She HAD been about to bring the cigarette to her mouth before his cane tapped her chin, causing her to gasp sharply and literally bite her tongue gently, her gaze now completely transfixed on him.
Oh- Oh fuck what did she get herself into?
“You-… Just what the hell were you doing back there?” She blinks, eyes trailing to the slight wetness on his gloves… That was rain, right? Had to be… She hoped…
Her eyes follow the cane, then back up at him as the glass is slowly sat down on the table… Change the subject, quick. “…Haven’t seen you around here before, then again I’m new- Haven’t seen a LOT of people. What’s your name?” She hums, leaning on her paldean accent a little, letting the R’s roll a little more noticeably… Little nervous quirk, trying to calm her nerves with the vibration.
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Time & Space pages 1-2 ( This is the start || ao3 (not yet!) || next ) Starts less than 24 hours after the death of Willy Stampler. With the job done, there's finally time to sort some things out. They just need the right amount of space.
#dungeons and daddies#dndads#normal oak#henry oak#normal oak swallows garcia#dndads 2#fanart#kineticallyart#time & space#Coming at chu live from my first dance chaperone duty#Monkeys paw is not over btw! In case this made you nervous#I'll be doing both#Next 4 pages of mp already in the works#They're delicious you're gonna love them#Anyway canon didn't have the framework to peel apart the oaks like a surgeon with a grape#So here we go :)#Don't worry normal i gotchur happy ending#For you. Personally.#Anyway i don't have this planned quite as meticulously as mp#Plotwise#But the script doc is like 6k words long so there's gas in this tank#That said updates on this will be slower than on mp until mp ends#Getting mp done is still priority 1#Anyway (x2 combo)#Implied context here is that at the “Willy is dead and we saved the world” after party at the S-O-G's place#Normal kinda lost it#At who and what about doesn't really matter#No one's holding it against him#But the result is that they're not gonna let him pretend to be okay anymore#Normals done a lot of taking care of other people; time for other people to take care of him for a bit
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okay why-
Why
Is Xie Lian
So gorgeous
Any time I pause
#i mean#they’re all gorgeous#but xie lian-#i mean-#how do you take a design that seems so average#AND MAKE HIM A G O D#T H E GOD#THE O N L Y TRUE GOD#i’m sorry i’m having an epiphany here#heaven officials blessing#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#tgcf season 2#tgcf donghua#hualian#xie lian#hua cheng#because he is us#and we are fucking dying here
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Eve: "Regarding the lyrics, this time its about portraying the conflicts and feelings of the characters in Jujutsu kaisen. This kind of feeling inside me, made me choose the characters one by one and thus write the lyrics. I don't dare to say where or who..."
Also Eve:
Alternative translations: 1 2 3 4
The lyrics hit different after ch 271. I kinda want this to be the op for s4 ngl
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna#gojo satoru#sukugo#my post#this is all eve all I did was take a screen shot at the convenient time to further my Sukugo agenda lol#I think the characters this is about are Sukuna Megumi gojo and maaaaybe yuji and yuta#But I think it's mainly about Sukuna's feelings during the shinjuku showdown especially towards gojo#It's art anyone can interpret it the way they want#but “my passion that towards you only cuts through the air like a wish” while showing the prison cube getting cut in half... yeah...#Also “lost emotions”??? Like what? Nervousness? Lmao#Love is when he makes you feel nervous for the first time in a thousand years#“thoughts voice words and lost emotions and love spin and spin towards the chance of victory” I love the use of the word “spin” here#cuz mahoraga's wheel spinning was like a count down for the you know what#I like how it starts with Sukuna's finger box and ends with it note how it has this black sludge thingy around it in the beginning#but in the end it's cleared (watch the video)#“Expectations overlap with regrets” *Shows their hands reaching* o m g????? That other hand is definitely Sukuna's it has black nails!!!#The other hand we see coming out of an eye !!!!!!#“the memory and love to be hidden and the eternal identity till death shall it be fine to keep them staying” While showing the last finger#And that heart cut in half!!!! it's probably about kashimo but kashimo was only created to bring the subtext into text anyways sooo...#That brain is definitely yuta taking over and I'd like to think that broken sphere is yuta's domain barriers that shattered in ch 263#Expectations overlap with regrets indeed 😏 that being the slowest part of the song is so fucking funny Sukuna's really missing his wife#To me now this song is about Sukuna's unspoken love and regret and preserving this love and memory for as long as his remains exist#Also there's a line in the song about these feelings “riding on the past and future” which is just aghhhh reminds me of Kashimo's question#why mince your soul into cursed objects and watch all those years go by what were you looking for#Sukuna literally time travelled met his love said he will remember him for as long as he lives and died in the same fucking day#only for his remains to stay protecting japan and preserve that memory The body is the soul and the soul is the body yeah?#Also Sukuna is basically tengen now so the six eyes is bound to him 😉 Gojo is the reason Sukuna's memory is preserved and vice versa#kenjaku baby trapped him to do bad things gojo finger trapped him into becoming Japan's protector against curses... Gojo best wife
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scrolled a little too far back on mogetwt and found pure gold:
#i miss mitsumona… i love asumona y e s but mitsumona~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#‘where were you when this part of idol sengen was being serialised?’ trapped outside due to regionlock s o b s#man… looking at idol sengen on piccoma again like. gosh. 7.9 million hearts/likes so trueeeee#which do you think we’ll get first: mitsuki mv (a la gijirenai) or idol sengen s2?#the crumbs we get of her in mona mvs isnt enoughhhhhhhh aaaaa#even a 1 image mv would do!!! just give us a tiny bit more of her plsssss#i wanna know what made mona such a huge fan of hers~~~~~~~#though. the way mona specifies that she only likes girl idols will forever be funny to me#she really can’t care less about lxl huh… so true of her tbh#girl idols are a m a z i n g (<-weakling who tears up while watching love live live recordings)#like. man. props to the casting directors or sth bc. m a n their stage presence is unreal for idol vas#like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa if you told me the vas were idols themselves id believe you#rkk was so cute. and aik.yan was super cool (esp during her solo) a n d ain.ya was both cute and cool and!!!!!!!!!#but um!!!! i digress!!!! anyways stan girl idols (esp mona) lxl w h o—#i think i’ll forever be envious of those who’ll be able to watch nan.su’s mona oneman live though… no foreigners allowed (how sad)…#though y’all should def check out some of nan.su’s other songs!! her powerful songs are so cool (imo)…#but i think she’s actually really good at singing songs with cheering/chanting portions lmfaooo the monachan lives on#i think hw should give mona more cool-ish songs though… let nan.su show off her range!!!#though. while im on the topic. i think sena should have cool songs too. narumi sisters cool song p l s s s s s#(bc my hot take over here is that hw doesn’t let their vas show off their full range *c o u g h s* i m e a n—)#what am i even on anymore h e l p started on mitsumona ended up in narumi sisters cool song desires…#anyways!!!! stream silent sword (both the og by ama.miya sora and the cover by nan.su) that’s all goodbye
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Guess who had an Idea for a fanfic. sighhh
#is it sonadow related? mayyyybbeee but who's asking ;)#I usually write like in short bursts and never anything longer but IVE NEVER PUBLISHED ANY OF IT PUBLICLY HSJSH#it just hit me#Dropping the first part too noight#Since I'm not patient enough to start a ao3 account I am writing here on tumblr dot com#I just really wanted to write something ngl and I love Shadows character so here we are#g a s p I've said to mooch :O#baiiiiii <3#sonic#sonic the hedgehog
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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What is the most triggering Kingdom Hearts song and why is it Forze Del Male (Dark Riku's Boss Theme)?
#pricetag mumbles#listen#we all know why#HERE IT COMES#I T HO U G H T Y O U W E R E S T R O N G E R T H A N T H A T#I literally just got jumpscared by this song#kingdom hearts#kh#riku
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@essenceofjustice A continuation of { x } !!! 🧇
The initial sleepiness that Kaede was feeling after a very long and fun night of partying, melted away in a new wave of excitement when Mondo proposed the idea of having breakfast together at a waffle place, wiggling happily in his arms when he had picked her up. Trying new eateries that she hadn't been to before was one of her most favorite things to do, even moreso with someone else; that someone being her favorite biker, making it all the more better!
Even as she rides in the passenger seat in his motorcycle, Kaede wasn't afraid. After all, it wasn't a bicycle; that's different! Plus, she's gotten a little bit used to it, and with Mondo always making sure she's okay while riding in it; she knew she had nothing to fear. In fact, she was all smiles as she watches the passing scenery. "Ahh, I'm so excited to try this place out! I can't remember the last time I had some waffles; I can't wait to see what different kinds they have~! I know you said you heard of it, so will this be your first time trying it, too, Mondo?" She asks while looking up at him with a curious headtilt and smile!
#HEH HOO HEE HERE WE G O.... I hope you likey~! ✨.#SOMFT WAFFLE TIMES WITH THE SOMFTCORNWADA AND LEMONTEE~#HDFJNJ she not even sleepy anymore she's already like: ' :D '!!!!!!!!!!!#said bimbtee smile that will only brighten even more as they enjoy themselves tee hee hee~!#her blonde mini Kaito era shall Commence!!!#essenceofjustice#v;; hpa's finest chef || {main}
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Swan~
#we have not doodle this lovely in a l O N G time#serif doodling#swan#lustswaphybrid#the mainverse#i'm still not one hundo percent better but i did say i'd do some small doobles here and there
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𝙾𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚖 𝚒𝚜 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 😑
Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.-Lao Tzu
𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗠𝗣: 𝗦𝗧𝗙𝗨, 𝗦𝗨𝗡 𝝝𝗙𝗙 𝝠 𝗕𝗘𝝠𝗖𝗛 🏖️
𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙳𝚘 𝚆𝚎 𝙶𝚘 𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎 - 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝚁𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚡 𝚋𝚢 𝚈𝚘𝚔𝚘 𝙾𝚗𝚘, 𝙸𝚖𝚊
#lao tzu#x-heesy#my art#artists on tumblr#4/2024#knowledge#wisdoom#society#book quotes#quote#quotes#qotd#quoteoftheday#typography#kill all politicans#w r o n g#iphone art#aesthetic#political#sad#now playing#music and art#where do we go from here#yoko ono#tricky#contemporaryart#fuck donald trump#fuck trump#donald trump#eye h8 u
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So
I just finished Frontiers of Pandora for the first time
I uh…
I hope you guys aren’t expecting me to be normal
Because…
I won’t be :’)
Uh
Spoilers in the tags
Also
Also a l o t of screaming
#ALSHKAHAOEBSOKAGAKSIDBSJ#IM FUCKING SOBBING#OMFG#TEYLAN#HES BACK#MY BOY IS BACK#THW FUCKING MUSIC WHEN HE WAS TELLING ME TO LEAVE AND HE WOULD STAL#I WAS DEADASS GOING FUCK NO I WILL DRAG YOUR STUPID SELFLESS ASS OUT HERE BY THE GODDAMN TAIL IF I HAVE TO#TEYLAN SCREAMING AT ANQA WHEN THEY COULDNT REACH ME#AND MY IKRAN#MY BELOVED TEMEK#OH MY GOD#O H M Y F U C K I N G G O D AND THE SYMBOLISM???#THE FUCKING S Y M B O L I S M#BROTHER#B R O T H A#I CANT#I FUCKING CANT#ME TAKING TEYLAN’S HAND AT THE BEGINNING RIGHT WHEN AHA’RI WAS KILLED#AND THEN TAKING IT AGAIN AFTER WE LEFT MERCER#AAAAAAAAAAAA#A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A#THIS IS GOING TO BE MY PERSONALITY FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS OMFG#avatar: frontiers of pandora#na’vi avatar#dragon speaks#dragon is also FUCKING HYPERFIXATING BECAUSE GOD D A Y U M N
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Digimon Adventure / 02 / tri. / Kizuna / Adventure: [2020] A.M.V {Anime Music Video} (Un-finished PRE-VIEW) ~ O V E R T I M E + Koushiro{u} Izumi & Taichi Yagami {KouTai} / Taishiro{u} (as Semi canon Compliant) {Minimal spoilers for Tri through Kokuhaku, Kizuna up to partway through Final Battle, DigiAdv 2020 36 - Koushiro specific Moments}
Notes: This is what I was working on all up until November! I wanted to finish it in time for a fan event, but, it didn't quite happen in time that way. (Maybe I can finish it later this year?!) For now, please enjoy the preview! I was also working on this together with a mutual - the track choice was mainly their idea, but I was trying to help find scenes that'd fit, and I managed to make quite a few moments work; You'll notice it's slightly different from my usual styles, but I'm also trying to relate specific moments and framing rather clearly here!!
(I'll admit theres a couple lines I thought were harder to work with; I'll figure those out later, but the track was overall fun for them regardless and I really enjoyed trying to make this!!) {As usual, a bit of manipulating scenes does happen, but its not ultra-heavy edits; all of these scenes come direct from canon formats for the most part, with some simple scenic manipulating otherwise!}
Digimon Adventure Franchise (C) Toei Animation Track (C) The Strike THIS IS A FAN MADE WORK; NO $$$ IS BEING MADE OFF THIS WORK.
{DO NOT R E P O S T} {DO NOT RE P R O D U C E My Editing UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER} (Trust Me, I WILL Know)
If the embed doesn't show at any time; Please check back to this post later on, as the site's player has been having issues at times!! (If it continues to not show, please feel free to ping me!)
#koutai#koushirouizumi advs#koushirouizumi 02#koushirouizumi tri#koushirouizumi kizuna#koushirouizumi creates#(oK I DECIDED TO POST THIS EVEN IF VERY UN FINISHED)#(Because I was working on it together with a mutual but)#(THEN MY LAPTOP BEGAN HAVING KEYBOARD ISSUES)#(AND I CANT EASILY REPLACE IT RN)#(I WANTED TO HELP MUTUAL FINISH THIS FOR TAIKOUVEMBER AND COULDNT)#(YELLS INTO MY VOID BECAUSE I STILL LIKE WHAT I EDITED HERE)#('AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA')#(I WANT TO MAKE SO MANY A M V s BUT I KNOW WAITING FOR THE BEGINNING FOOTAGE EVEN SCENIC WILL MAKE ALL OF THESE 100 PERCENT BETTER)#({ALSO I HATE HOW WELL THEY FIT EVERY S O N G WE PICK OUT FOR THEM})#(There is ONE line that bugs me a bit still {ppl can probably guess which one it is lmao} but I can also chalk it up to this mostly)#(Being Taichis P.O.V and leave it at that!!1!1!)#(aka WHY CANT I BEAM 5 MILLION A M V S + FOR ALL S H I P S +FAVS I LIKE INTO THE FAN BASE AT ONCE FROM MY HEAD ALONE)#(BECAUSE I WOULD AND IM MAD THAT I CANT BC IM A HUMAN WITH LIMITATIONS!!1!1!)
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petition to let them fight over the ichigo au lait
#my bet’s on mona and her 2 cm height advantage#still can’t believe they shrunk yujiro im sobbbifngngng#t h o u g h! while we’re still cheering over the new mona mv!!!!!#can we all collectively agree to just… not repost/use moge’s ‘do not reupload’ illusts without permission?#stuff like. yk. saving the images and posting ‘em elsewhere/using them as your profile icons and such?#screenshots from vids and stuff are totally okay but not moge’s do not reupload twt/fanbox illusts h e lp#bc i just think it’s really unfortunate that moge has to make twt posts to address this when it’s clearly written as such on her illusts…#so let’s show respect to moge’s wishes and not reupload without permission okay~? link sharing should be fine i think but not reposting!!!#let’s agree to not be part of the problem of our goated illustrator#i mean i haven’t seen anyone on here reupload (i think) but it’s best to be aware of it just in case… i think#ahaha sorryyy i’ll get back to idol sengen… though. um. tling it should be fine… right? since it’s official media and such…#uhhhhhhhhhh well. um. at least i’m not making profits off tling it? i earn enough from my day job i s w e a r
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Hngnngng I think. I think we're good,
My funds for the month are drained but Alfie still has some as well as something like 1k on credit cards and. I know that's something that needs to be paid back but its so much wiggle room that I'm not used to
Like it's honestly frying my brain a little that I don't need to be constantly thinking about money this month. I still am ofc lmao but its...christ, I've been living so long with the certainty that I cannot afford my own existence. I literally do not know how to process the possibility that I'm covered
#im not. ready to beieve that we're okay#and...just *okay*. we still need to look for a new flat. we still both really need new jobs.#but even being Okay is such an outlandish borderline fantasy for me#im so afraid Something will happen and we'll have to beg again#and tbh im. i hate saying it like that i hate viewing it like that#cognitive dissonance of id never cast any judgement on other people seeking mutual aid but when its Me its Bad Somehow#im working on that too lmao becoming a well rounded person is a long ass process#i just...we're getting there. we're so close to just Existing and thats something ive Known for years id never have#tldr im feeling alot of thongs very weirdly rn and want anyone that reads this to know. Thank you.#i wouldnt be alive without the friendly folks on my phone#some of whom dont really even know me beyond what i vent on here#some of whom i absolutely neglect in talking to bc its So Hard so often#but yall have made it so i can just...exist. with the person i love.#we absolutely arent home-free yet but its...palpable. its something i can imagine being.#and that is a gift.#and i have yall to thank for it.#g o d i really gotta look into shipping stuff oversees soon#whole bunch of people vastly overdue for a Silly Little Gift
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