#(There is ONE line that bugs me a bit still {ppl can probably guess which one it is lmao} but I can also chalk it up to this mostly)

[koushirouizumi]

Digimon Adventure / 02 / tri. / Kizuna / Adventure: [2020] A.M.V {Anime Music Video} (Un-finished PRE-VIEW) ~ O V E R T I M E + Koushiro{u} Izumi & Taichi Yagami {KouTai} / Taishiro{u} (as Semi canon Compliant) {Minimal spoilers for Tri through Kokuhaku, Kizuna up to partway through Final Battle, DigiAdv 2020 36 - Koushiro specific Moments}

Notes: This is what I was working on all up until November! I wanted to finish it in time for a fan event, but, it didn't quite happen in time that way. (Maybe I can finish it later this year?!) For now, please enjoy the preview! I was also working on this together with a mutual - the track choice was mainly their idea, but I was trying to help find scenes that'd fit, and I managed to make quite a few moments work; You'll notice it's slightly different from my usual styles, but I'm also trying to relate specific moments and framing rather clearly here!!

(I'll admit theres a couple lines I thought were harder to work with; I'll figure those out later, but the track was overall fun for them regardless and I really enjoyed trying to make this!!) {As usual, a bit of manipulating scenes does happen, but its not ultra-heavy edits; all of these scenes come direct from canon formats for the most part, with some simple scenic manipulating otherwise!}

Digimon Adventure Franchise (C) Toei Animation Track (C) The Strike THIS IS A FAN MADE WORK; NO $$$ IS BEING MADE OFF THIS WORK.

{DO NOT R E P O S T} {DO NOT RE P R O D U C E My Editing UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER} (Trust Me, I WILL Know)

If the embed doesn't show at any time; Please check back to this post later on, as the site's player has been having issues at times!! (If it continues to not show, please feel free to ping me!)

[cometcrystal]

schrucy songs. if you even care

since other schrucy nation ppl were doing it i wanna do it too.

this doesn't have any classical songs bc i don't really listen to classical at all. sorry schroeder. featuring select lyrics from each song

just what i needed - the cars

this song is simple and straightforward and could be applied to a lot of ships in a general sense but the reason it sticks out as a schrucy song to me is the insistence that the singer ENJOYS having this other person stick around and bug them and so on and so forth. schroeder POV obviously. echoes of the van pelt moving arc are here. also the line “i needed someone to bleed” god. idk where to begin unpacking that with them but its lots of fun. something something their best match is always gonna be someone who they can be a bit of a cunt around

i don’t mind you coming here / and wasting all my time

i guess you’re just what i needed / i needed someone to feed / i guess you’re just what i needed / i needed someone to bleed

i think you're alright - jay som

if i had to pick only 3 songs to attach to schrucy, this would be one of them for sure. my GOD i don’t even know where to begin. schroeder POV again. the blood on the concrete line referencing lucy’s hotheaded nature... maybe after a fistfight with a 3rd party. saying that someone is pretty, then that their smile is unforgiving; two contrasting statements at first glance. and then “i’ll place it where nobody can find” in reference to that same smile. this 100% reads as a song about someone being in love with someone who is mean and abrasive, but the singer still treasures them. and THEN, after all that praise, the singer’s just like “yeah you’re okay i guess” which is SO funny and good. idk man. just listen to it. if you get it you get it.

and god, you’re so pretty / your smile’s unforgiving / i’ll place it where nobody can find / i’ll play all your favorite songs

build me up buttercup - the foundations

this one’s a lucy POV and its pretty straightforward.... this is one of the most canon-compliant songs on this list. i don’t feel the need to elaborate too much its just a fun bop about an unrequited crush (or is it...)

although you’re untrue / i’m attracted to you all the more

she's always a woman - billy joel

of COURSE this song was gonna make this list. was there ever any doubt??? this is THE schrucy song. the amount of respect and understanding and ADMIRATION the singer has for this woman that sounds like a nightmare to deal with is INCREDIBLE. he talks about her flaws the same way you’d expect him to talk about her graces. this reads to me like a married, adult schrucy, who are very much settled into their lives and are in that stage where there’s not many surprises from either of them but they’re just cozy with each other

she never gives out / and she never gives in / she just changes her mind

she’ll bring out the best and the worst you can be / blame it all on yourself / cause she’s always a woman to me

ringtone - 100 gecs

YES i am putting a 100 gecs song on this list. if it fits IT FITS. we get both POVs this time! i think the original is kind of alluding to a breakup or something negative, but i’m choosing to make it about unresolved feelings for my own purposes. of COURSE a modern lucy would give schroeder a custom ringtone and be overjoyed whenever she hears it. schroeder hearing the ring that he has set for lucy on HIS phone and feeling sick because he’s realized that he likes her now. etc etc. anyway this song is fun and i like

it’s my way of trying to let you know / i’ve got a little thing for you / i’ve got a little crush or somethin’

mastermind - taylor swift

this song is so damn lucy it HURTS. once she and schroeder get together she’s probably very annoying (affectionate) about it and is like “I planned this all along >:)” and the mention of people not liking her so she has to actively manipulate the situation to make them like her???? ITS SO GOOD!!

no one wanted to play with me as a little kid / so i’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since

and i swear / i’m only cryptic and machiavellian cause i care

how to embrace a swamp creature - the mountain goats

this one’s a bit of a stretch but this is my list not yours. this could be from either of their POVs tbh... schroeder while he’s preparing to confess how he feels? lucy while she tries to grapple with the fact that her feelings are finally requited after so long? theyr’e both SUCH complex and messy characters and their relationship is no different. it takes them a while to stop feeling so strange, even if it is a good strange

i try to tell you just why i’ve come / it’s like i’ve got molasses on my tongue

end of post. no i will not put this under a cut. read my post boy

[dashboardcat]

woke up in the middle of the night, new beastars is up, sooo...

Was it alway's Legosi's idea to eat the bugs? I mean I guess it sort of makes sense in terms of speeding things up a little, but it sort of comes out of nowhere if you didn't know about it beforehand.  Everything else about that scene was more or less what I was expecting. 

We also seem to finally get a little bit of a real interaction between Louis and Ibuki, and, as Ibuki says to himself, Louis is finally starting to open up with him, even if the convo preceding it is "you gotta die for me, k?"

But, finally... we get Dressgosi.  After all this time of worrying that they'd cut it.  I gotta say, I think I prefer the anime version, Legosi's lankier animation rig gives him a more feminine figure, so  it feels a lot less like a "man in a dress" joke. im trans so I usually really dont like those kinds of jokes, but anytime Legosi puts on a dress it never comes with any sort of embarrassment or disrespect and this story's already so queer so I'll allow it (not that I can speak for all trans ppl tho, Ibuki's reactions sort of cross over the line a little).  He does still joke about how tacky the dress is, but thats probably more because he'd prefer to pick out something more his style and not Gouhin's ex-wife's hand-me-downs.  im glad that Louis' reaction still is mostly "damn Legosi leave me the fuck alone already."  Also here it's a little more obvious that whatever that is holding the flower on his head is actually part of the ensemble, I always thought it was bandages from his last fight, which was always the funnest part of the whole thing to me.

I don't remember if Pina went to confront Riz like that in the manga or if they, again, just needed a faster, more convenient way to explain how he got caught, but man, the video effect- and seeing Pina lose his cool- at the end was pretty chilling. 

The last little scene with Gouhin sorta really drives the point home to me like... why isn't Gouhin helping with this again? Like his whole job is to stop dangerous carnivores from killing herbivores, this seems like something he should be a little more hands-on with.  But it's not in the black market so it's outside his jurisdiction or smth

also

sdk;uSL;DFKJSDA;KHBD IT HIM

IT HER

that pic that Lego has as his phone's wallpaper is the cutest fucking shit tho Also... Louis realizing he fuckin gay... that look on his face... priceless.I still sort of don't understand why Louis couldn't just like, step out for the night, help Legosi with this fight, then come back to the Shishigumi, symbolism I guess.  and I don't really remember how it hit me when I read it in the manga, but this version of Ibuki's "you saved the Shishigumi" speech seemed to fall a little flat.  idk, maybe its because a lot of the Shishigumi's greatest characterizing moments come much later, but I feel like for the most part, none of them have really felt quite right this season

god... only one ep left... and its gonna be... something

[amandabe11man]

a VERY LONG post about Hell on Wheels

YEAH i forgot about this post in my drafts... it’s been like a year since i finished the show now and i feel i’ve barfed everything out into this post (that i can think of), so here it goes (you’ll have to shield your eyes after the spoiler warning if you don’t wanna be spoiled btw. i can’t seem to be able to add a read more-link...) :

SO... i finished watching “hell on wheels” at last, pm half a year since i started. it’s funny because i was under the impression that i’d sOMEHOW be able to binge all five seasons within just one month (reason: i wanted to watch it before my free trial on HBO’s website went out). honestly, that wouldn’t have been possible because it was a LOT more emotionally draining than you’d think at first glance... after being gutpunched three times in a row in season 4, any reasonable human would need a little break.

anyway, it feels-- weird. i’ve never been big on following tv-shows so i haven’t been able to relate to that feeling ppl describe once they’ve finished a show they’ve become so attached to, except NOW i can relate. the show’s not groundbreaking, it’s not perfect, but i’ve had a lot of fun. what a ride it’s been...

looking back, i’d say HOW’s biggest weakness is its tendency to forget or ignore certain plot points. i guess that’s not too weird, with such an arsenal of characters, but still, i find that’s what bugged me the most, if anything bugged me at all. for example--

[SPOILERS for those who might wanna watch it after seeing me go on abt it, idk]:

first off, what REALLY grinds my gears is how ezra dutson’s plotline was handled. it was set up perfectly in the beginning; having him escape from the swede (who promised him that, and i quote: “i’ll find you, ezra! i always do”), the original plan was obviously for ezra and the swede to “reunite” some time in the future so that ezra could tell everyone that the swede killed his parents, thus tying up loose ends and giving some closure to that whole arc. some might say this would’ve been too predictable, but i would rather have that predictable storyline than having it just end unceremoniously like it did, with ezra dying ACCIDENTALLY and off-screen by sidney snow’s hand, simply as a way to further bohannon’s pain and set the stage for ruth’s final arc. this might’ve been fine, if the writers had made it so that ezra actually, y’know, TOLD SOMEONE WHY HE’S AN ORPHAN TO BEGIN WITH. but they didn’t even give the viewer that form of closure, instead just deciding to use him as a plot device for the other characters’ increased angst... bohannon and the others were never even made aware of ezra’s last name, and this is all what bugs the everliving SHIT outta me: the only ones who know, or will EVER know, ezra’s full story is the swede and the viewer, tho after season 4′s end, ezra is never mentioned or acknowledged again-- not by bohannon, and not even by the swede. ezra went from convenient character with a PURPOSE to “nameless” orphan forgotten by history. thanks, writers...

then there’s the whole deal with campbell coming to town to reinforce The Law™, which wasn’t a bad arc, mind you-- campbell and his goons were the most infuriating little shits for a while there-- but the thing is; didn’t campbell LIE to his men about the president giving him the position as governor? i might’ve misunderstood it, but i’m PRETTY sure the president didn’t give him THAT much of an upstanding role, but that campbell just went ahead and took that position anyway? if that was indeed the case, then that’s another plot hole, cause nobody finds out about campbell’s possible trickery to become the governor. nobody rats him out, despite literally no one in “his” town liking him all that much, so they’d have no reason to protect his “secret”. (correct me if i’m wrong on this one though. i might be misremembering things)

then there’s the other pretty infuriating issue of bad guys never getting called out for doing bad shit (unless it’s the swede, who gets all the blame, all the time), for example:

major dick bongbendix(???idk he had a silly name like that) is presented VERY MUCH as a bad guy in the beginning. y’know, just casually beheading natives on all his missions and collecting those heads and taking them to the bar like a fucking nutcase-- those little details. he also seemed to believe in racial biology, so yeah, definitely not a good guy. but by the end, he’s been watered down into some quirky guy who’s ALMOST on friendly terms with the main characters. yeah, uh-- seems everyone (writers included) collectively forgot the whole public display of cut-off heads he had going on...

aaron hatch: started off as a guy too proud for his- or his family’s own good when he shot the police officer, BLAMED IT ON HIS FUCKING SON and then just kinda let bohannon hang the kid even though it was pretty obvious hatch was just shifting the blame away from himself. THEN he reappears with some other mormons and causes a full-on shootout in the town (probably getting some people killed, i don’t remember), TAKES EZRA (also a mormon) HOSTAGE SO THAT BOHANNON WILL COME WITH THEM WILLINGLY and passive aggressively forces bohannon to marry his daughter who bohannon knocked up. somewhere along the line, hatch’s bad side is just thrown to the wind, and bohannon at one point describes him as “a good man”. yeah, ABOUT THAT--

sean and mickey mcginnes: unlike the ones mentioned above, these two started out as seemingly decent dudes, but ended up pm as secondary villains in the end. however, like the ones mentioned above, they hardly face any consequences for whatever crap it was they did in boston, OR the fact that they killed and fucking mutilated/dismembered a man in cold blood (a man who WAS gonna kill them, yes, but HE did it because he thought they had killed his friend, which wasn’t a farfetched idea since mickey DID brag about killing the dude even though he didn’t actually do it). sure, they face their OWN demons as time goes on, they get ostracized, and they start losing faith in each other as well, which ends up with mickey killing sean before the latter can confess(?) his/their crimes. so, while sean was spineless and a creep, at least he thought about finally owning up to what he’d done in the end, whereas mickey lives on to keep doing shady shit, killing people, and getting increasingly more corrupt. he does end up pursuing new goals in the end, but it’s obvious he’s not happy about it anymore. that’s-- really all the comeuppance he ever gets, and the only one who knows about his shady businesses are pm just bohannon, durant and eva (also, personal gripe here-- they seemed to not settle for “just” tarring and feathering the swede and publicly humiliating him, but i’m pretty sure i recall mickey telling bohannon they were thinking about having the swede killed too. keep in mind, this was BEFORE the swede truly lost it and started killing people left and right. apparently, being kind of a douche about taxes is bad enough to warrant being tortured and cast out by the entire community... i’m obviously biased here, but still-- the mcginnes bros’ double standards are amazing to behold)

now that i’ve aired some of that out-- here are some highlights, according to me:

unexpected friendships, like that between eva and durant. i’d say the swede finding that stray dog and fawning all over him qualifies into this category too

durant and campbell fighting in the mud before finally coming to an agreement -- just- durant and his competitors being petty as fuck, honestly. it’s hilarious

bohannon trying to get through to elam by reminiscing about their friendship, especially since bohannon isn’t one to show his feelings often OR get sappy -- in fact, EVERY time bohannon loses his stoic facade is a good moment. when he was gonna bury elam and he just broke down completely for the first time since we were introduced to him... that shit had me in tears as well, but man was it a great scene

jimmy two-squaws

every time the swede opens his mouth (yes, even when he’s spouting some lies and bullshit like that)

ruth’s character development. i admit i didn’t like her at all in the beginning, idk something just felt off about her, but man did she ever grow on me. just-- how everyone kinda relied on her eventually, even though she’s only like in her 20′s or something... she still became a pillar of the community. bless ya, ruth :’ı -- also, her essentially adopting ezra was Pure as heck. I Lov it

the fact that this was the 1800′s and the only backlash the (openly) LGBT characters faced for it was pm just “yeah they’re a bit confused maybe but they’re not hurting anyone”. maybe that’s not very realistic but WHO GIVES A SHIT AMIRITE

mr tao just being a sweet old man

chang’s sunglasses, straight out of Django Unchained

mr toole’s complete heel-turn from racist POS to someone who sticks by his word to turn himself around. that shit was impressive coming from him, tbh

bohannon just calmly running into a buffalo by the train tracks

mei posing as a grown man instead of a boy (which is what she looks and sounds like, oml)

another thing i realized is that bohannon is a classic gary stu. there’s just no getting around that fact after seeing him being revered by most everyone he meets, how he’s somehow the only person able to build the railroad(s) fast and efficiently, and even wooing the literal PRESIDENT and becoming close friends with him-- all this despite his Bold and Brash personality. of course, there’s more to bohannon than these gary stu-symptoms, but i felt someone should bring it up, for the lulz

[diaryofanormalkid]

Today at work was nice ☺️

So aside from my hurt leg (knee and ankle), it was a decent day. People-wise though, not coworker wise. And time went by fast so I was glad.

Through the day, my leg was feeling better by the hour. Like I was even walking more normally. Pretty sure half my coworkers didn’t even notice I was injured.

Had it not been for me telling them, they probably wouldn’t have noticed. But I’m sooo glad it’s feeling better. I was thinking I wouldn’t feel this good until maybe Thursday.

So anyways, today at work I saw my short crush and my American Dragon crush and my ***work husband*** I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE I saw him today!!! He doesn’t work Mondays 😁

I also saw short guy 🙄 and then his coworker who he trained who I’ll give you some background info on later probably. It was a very... interesting day.

Short crush

I got to see him twice today! They were both the briefest of moments though, and he didn’t really pay me as much attention as I’d like! ☹️😩

The first time he was leaving from the seating area of the cafetaria. I was sanitizing my hands at the dispenser and my body happened to be facing the direction he was coming from.

So I spotted him and smiled, and he looked at me, but for some reason today I didn’t hold eye contact with him for long at all. And now that I think about it, that probably has to do with why he didn’t give me too much attention today.

💔😬 yikes. I think he thought I was annoyed/in a mood today so he was giving me my space. ‘Cause the second time he came, when I spotted him he was closer but didn’t say/do anything.

He was at the cash register and I believe he saw me from where I was standing but decided against looking up, purposely. I was like “okay, that’s fine 😭.” And minded my business.

But I know for sure he saw me before I looked over at him the second time because I was in his line of sight. So next time, I’m gonna be more friendly, because that probably turned him off.

I’m not bugging, it just kinda hurt a little when the attention wasn’t reciprocated because he usually isn’t the one out of all my crushes to avoid making any gesture/eye contact.

American Dragon Crush

So today he came in a little after my shift started and at first he was super quiet, to the point where I didn’t even know he came in until a little while after.

Once I went nearby his area, that’s when I took the opportunity to greet him and using his name. I’m not sure, but I don’t think I use his name while greeting him often? So it felt weird.

But good weird. And immediately after I had used his name while greeting him, he did the same and I kinda felt my heart melt a tiny bit because that typically happens when my crushes use my name.

Then for a lot of the shift he was bothering by calling my name and I kept like half blushing. I had it under control, but half the time I didn’t care enough to hide my smile so 🤷🏾‍♀️

One time I was going back and forth getting stock items and looking for things and I just so happen to be passing by him all of those times. So then he eventually asks:

“Why do you keep going back and forth?” And I mumbled I needed to get stuff to him, because he was busy serving a customer anyways so I figured he probably wouldn’t need to hear me.

And then I was going on my break another time, so I was signing out and he kept asking me questions. He asked, “can I see your hair?” And then pulled a braid.

Then he asked, “How much was it? $120 right? How much to do a guy’s hair like that?” And as much as I very well knew he was kidding, I still answered back “the same amount.”

He kept talking to me trying to make the conversation last as long as possible. And I was like flattered but also I was like “okay I’m going on break now!” Just to warn him.

I was enjoying his company too though. So when I was leaving, he was in our mini-room where we kept our schedule and coats and whatnot.

As I was leaving, I was like pulling the door and I said “here, you stay there.” Trying to lock him in the room just to flirt or whateva 👀😬😌 not that I *cough* know how to flirt.

So eventually I let him out and then I signed out and he was still trying to talk to me as I walked off for break but I was ignoring him and pretending I couldn’t hear him lol.

Also during that time, he made the randomest comment about playing basketball and “getting all the girls” or something and I laughed because it was just super telling of what he was thinking about 👀🙄

While I was on break, my Apple music was on my Top 25 most played songs playlist and the song it went to was “Electric” by Alina Baraz ft. Khalid which is such an intense romance song?

Romance is not the right word, but sexy doesn’t really fit it for me either? So idk whatever the word is for the song, if you find it and also happen to read this and listen to the song, then pls reply the word!

But anyways, when that song of ALL songs came on during my break, I couldn’t but be in my feels about my all crushes! I was just in the zone, unbothered. So, going forward:

The recurring joke for the day between us was him, my coworker and I all asking the other person “what’s up?” In which I respond “the ceiling/the sky.” But usually “the ceiling.”

That’s actually my go to response with any person who asks me that, but today I tried it on him even though I’ve tried it on him before but today he wanted to be extra about it lol.

So he kept asking me that today only to get the same response every single time. When I passed him one time, he was calling my name repetitively while asking the question.

And my other coworker who was in on the joke was standing close by, so I told her, “yo can you tell him to stop bothering me and calling my name,” even though I didn’t care.

I actually liked it, but he didn’t need to know that. So fast forward a little later, the workplace was a little on the quiet side because a couple of my coworkers had left.

It was still busy, but only on occasion. It wasn’t like rush hour time or anything. Every now and then I would look up and peep he was looking at me. Or it’d be vice versa and he’d look up.

OR we both would look at each other at the same time but super briefly and then look away! And it’s such a nice feeling to know someone who you ~kinda~ like also likes you!

And I am also just surprised at my responses to him looking at me or being caught looking at him are not more alarmed than this. Like, I’m such a nervous person?

Crushes and the sort make me a hundred billion times more anxious than I already am so the fact that I don’t respond nervously to him in that way is... shocking!

By the end of the shift now, since I was on cash, I went to the back to start counting cash. And then he came around the corner to... honestly I don’t even know what.

To watch? To linger? Like he literally had no reason to be where I was tbh, so IK that was just another excuse to be in my company! Which I didn’t mind at all!

While he was there, he was asking me why I’m so tall... again! He always ask me that implying like “why are you taller than ME?” Or “if only I was a little taller...” in his mind.

Because I think he realizes since he’s shorter than me, I’m kinda like not interested enough. That sounds so shallow, but like he’s too short. Because I’m only like maximum 5’7”.

Even if he’s only an inch or two shorter than me, for a guy that’s just too short. And lowkey that’s just a dealbreaker for me. So that’s why I don’t take this crush too seriously 😟

Little does he know that his age is also a deal breaker too. LOL like I think he thinks if he was taller, that would fix all the dealbreakers between us but oh no honey, that’s not it.

I think he’s like a year and a bit younger than me, but it’s enough to be like a bit difference for me! I’ve always preferred older guys because *mature* hello, so going younger would just be backwards lol.

There’s a looot more serious things where those came from, so don’t think I’m shallow as heck or anything for like not wanting a serious relationship with him because of those.

He’s cute or whateva, but it stops there. Like I’m good luv. But ANYWAYS, him being short was not where I was going with telling my story. Moving on:

He was lingering while I was in the back counting my till, and he was like “must be in your genes” [my height]. And then I nodded and he brought up my mom is tall too.

She is only about an inch or so taller than me. But yeah, I guess if that’s tall to him? So I was like yeah, I guess. And then he was like “how tall is your dad?” And I said “6’3”” so he’s like “woahhh.”

And I was like, “yeah, but you should see my brother. He’s 6’6”, past my dad’s height.” And he was like “what? Now I’m so shy about my height.” Which lol is so cute bc I think he meant insecure?! 😂

So then he goes, “my mom is tiny, she’s like here on me,” gesturing to his shoulder. Which, he’s not wrong! His mom is TINY. So I agreed, and was like, “aww, yeah you’re right she’s so little.”

I asked him how tall his dad was and he was like “my dad’s shorter than me!” I wasn’t even surprised by that, he outgrew his parents thankfully but he’s still short for me lol.

He was like, “when we go out, ppl think we’re brothers.” And I laughed. Height was implied because I bet he definitely didn’t mean age- wise since we weren’t talking about that.

Anyways wherever the conversation left off, I don’t remember so that’s how my day went with him!

Work husband

This little entry is so underwhelming because nothing really happened but I’m still gonna write it because I’m surprised I even saw him today to begin with!

I usually only ever see him on Saturdays so when I peeped him in his turquoise blue uniform I took a double take and couldn’t believe my eyes!

He was walking all the way down the hall and I was staring awfully too hard to try to make out if it was him. I was on the phone though so I think that partly just made me seem preoccupied.

Gratefully he was far away, like I said, so I doubt he saw me staring. As he got closer, I was too scared to look in his direction so I shifted my body so that I wasn’t facing his direction.

As I was on the phone, I was trying to look for him when he passes by just to make sure it was him but I am like 90% sure it was him because there’s no one of his exact features and build here.

He passes by super quick and I was really sad because I wanted to see him for longer but I was leaving. Sucks that I only got to see him when I was going home.

I’m just glad I got to see him in general though! It was a kind of off day afterwards because I couldn’t stand my two coworkers who also happen to be siblings.

Whenever they happen to work together, it’s for the worst because they never do anything. They’re always sitting down/doing the bare minimum.

If there was anyone that deserved to be sitting down today, it would be me because I’M the one that is injured! Smh, they’re so pathetic and worthless.

And I think I did more work than both of them combined today. Not that that’s anything short of the norm, that’s to be expected tbh. I was gonna do my task regardless.

Otherwise I would’ve been suuuper bored the whole shift. Because I’m not one to strike up a convo with them because they’re my least favourite coworkers, in that section anways.

Like I can tolerate them, but I definitely don’t like them. And I’m sure as hell not going to try to talk to them if I don’t even like them. It’s pointless. I think the feelings are partially mutual.

Or at least, we’re just indifferent towards each other. And I have my own agenda I can tend to rather than try to become best friends with the managers kids... lol.

Like gross. How are you gonna have your kids work here and be the laziest ppl here? That is full on taking advantage of the system. And I’m pretty sure they get paid more than most ppl.

And they don’t even work enough hours to get paid more than half the people who they’re getting paid more than... so isn’t that like illegal or something?

If it’s true, I feel sorry for them almost. They’re spoiled and will never truly know what hard work is. Seems they’ve just been handed majority of the things they have.

Like literally today the son walked back from break and was wearing AirPods. So I was like, “you have AirPods too?” Not even out of envy or anything, just because another coworker does too.

And her and I were discussing how if I were to have them, I’d probably lose them so easily so it’s actually my choice not to invest in any. Like I am not envious that other ppl have them because I don’t want them.

But anyways, back to the managers son at work, he goes “oh yeah.” And I just smiled and shook my head at him because like duh, he WOULD have AirPods, what do you expect?

But yeah, so today I was just super annoyed at them both literally being okay with sitting around and doing nothing while I do 80% of the work because they’re used to it.

Like how are you okay with letting an injured girl the work for you while you do nothing? Sounds familiar! their mom works SOOO hard, has two jobs (maybe more) from what I know.

The son and older daughter have nice cars, their dad has a motorcycle and I’m SURE when the youngest daughter is ready to drive, she’s gonna have a car WAITING for her at their driveway.

I’m trying to be objective and think do I sound envious right now? Because I am not envious, at least I don’t think I am? I just am annoyed at how privileged they are but they don’t even do any work.

And they can get away with it too because it’s not like I can just call out the managers kids? Ones my age though, that’s the thing. It’s the son, and it’s a damn shame. Like do better?

The younger daughter just started working there and she lowkey does a better job than him at everything. She’s had her fair share of mistakes, we all have, but c’mon now.

How are you gonna let your little sister who’s younger than you by almost 4 years outlaws your own skills working at a minimum wage job?

Like I don’t even know how long he’s been working here, but I am just... so over him. I can’t wait until he quits already. He’s so useless sometimes, like I can’t.

I think some of the times he’s actually eventually intentionally set me up/sabotaged me for my shifts when I come in after him. It’s actually so messed up to think about.

But I automatically jump to worst case scenarios once it comes down to him and his family just because that’s... what it has come down to unfortunately.

I don’t know what they think of me exactly but I know how I’ve been treated by them and I’ll never give them the benefit of the doubt after they’ve been okay with how they treat me so..

Anyways lemme stop ranting on this post before I let all this negativity outweigh all the good that happened today. To end it off, I’d like to say:

I’m glad American Dragon Crush and my other coworker were there today to keep me sane because I really would’ve been in the worst mood all day if it hadn’t been for them.

American Dragon crush really did lift up my spirits so much. Like, I don’t know if he realizes how much he did today. I was in such a bad mood before he came when I think back now.

As for my other coworker, she’s always so friendly. Like thank God for her. She’s an angel sometimes. I don’t know how much I could tolerate this job in general if it weren’t for her.

Also shoutout to my mom for coming down to see me a couple times today. Every time she saw me, all she had to do was look at my face and she knew exactly what was wrong.

Why and who too! LOL. After worked we talked about it allll today, and she wasn’t surprised. Never is. With those two siblings, it’s always the same thing.

But she really kept me sane today too, even if I only got to see her for a little bit each time. Thank God for them all ☺️

[ryouverua]

Oh yeah, youre right about him searching for ppls validation, i think! Like, even negative attention—it really does sorta feel like a child throwing a tantrum. At the same time, in contrast to his childishness—or maybe not, we never really do give kids enough credit—hes very… calculating? I guess. I mean its clear hes laying out pieces to do something, we just dont know what at this point. That aside i feel like… while he is wanting the attention of ppl hating him, even like outside of any plans he has, doesnt exactly negate like? Also feelings like he doesnt have to be “good” bc the ppl around him arent either—with his whole thought process that anyone can lie. Then again maybe theyre supposed to parallel/contrast like… kaito seeking positive attention/validation, and kokichi seeking the negative. Like a child screaming “look at me, look at me!”. So maybe him calling saihara a partner is less him seeing himself on par with others — though it may still be like that, just him seeking that validation as well — and more telling of how he views saihara specifically. I think how unwielding he can be sometimes mighta earned his respect, some. His search for the truth after kaede died leads him to putting his foot down to save everyone more than once during the class trial, which mighta earned some respect esp since the timeline of kokichis infatuation (cough crush cough) coincides with that. Though its unclear what his views ARE exactly on truth vs lies — but hes said he hates liars, hes also said that everyone lies, and that theyre what runs the world. So it seems like he views them kinda like a needed evil? So maybe he saw saiharas searching for the truth in a world full of lies, fools hearty, but also admirable. It could also explain why he got so pissed when he caught him in a lie—lying to him, about him. Also off topic but ive learned that in the art book its stated that saihara was originally supposed to be nb and i feel fucking robbed

As someone who spent a lot of time working with kids via volunteer/summer work in high school, trust me, kids can be very calculating when they want to be - and honestly, their minds move in directions that a lot of adults can’t anymore. The power of ~imagination~ or as Kokichi Ouma would say, lies, perhaps? What is fiction and fantasy other than beautifully decorated lies for people to enjoy and distract from their own lives…

mumble-Beatrice-mumble-KOKICHISHOULDMEETBEATRICE-mumble

Also speaking of Beatrice and Kokichi parallels - if Kokichi has a line about wanting Shuichi to solve him I spontaneously combust, probably.

ahem, anyway -

I’m trying to pin down in my head when Kokichi started focusing on Shuichi specifically and while it’s pretty obvious in Chapter 4, I also got his love hotel pretty early on in my playthrough as well as doing a few of his FTEs so my perspective might be a bit biased. 8′D With that said, he made a pretty big impression on Shuichi during the Bug Meet-n-Greet when he woke up to Kokichi’s shining face but that may have been because Shuichi was the only one who got knocked out. Hm…

Oh, potential idea about Kokichi’s look on lies in regards to Shuichi specifically - I wonder if this is the first time Shuichi has lied not only to him, but about him? As a direct counter to him? I’m probably going to forget some of the lies (and I didn’t get every single one either, despite my best efforts), but to bring some up:

Shuichi lied about hearing someone in the dorms - Chapter 2

Shuichi lied about whether the second death in Chapter 3 was instantaneous or not, and also about K1-b0′s light functions -

All of those were in service of revealing the truth and finding the killer. And I think having both of these here is important because both of those, I think, lined up with Kokichi’s goals in those trials.

But in this trial, where one of Kokichi’s goals is to force Kaito into a corner belief-wise (undermining the new apparent leader of the group), he finds Shuichi starts lining up with Kaito a bit too much as an unintended consequence - sure, he’s trying to reveal the truth and find the killer, but either a) these goals don’t align with Kokichi - he spends a lot of the trial throwing out breadcrumbs to Shuichi to reach a certain conclusion (I’m not sure that conclusion was supposed to be the truth or not, which is something I’m gonna think on later, because it really does seem like Kokichi dropped the culprit’s name out of spite rather than it being his actual plan), but after lying about being in the salon he does expect to be taken at face value or at least be challenged with evidence rather than perjury or b) Shuichi is, whether intentionally or unconsciously, barbing this lie with the implication, “I’m going to lie to corner you, Kokichi, the culprit of this case,” and Kokichi finds this offensive to both the spirit of the trial, but Shuichi’s apparent role as the truth-seeking, unbiased, logical Ultimate Detective. Despite his initial plans, Kokichi has his own moral code for himself and those around him, and seeing Shuichi cross a line that way snaps something in him that makes him lash out. Does that make sense? I could be completely sideways on this but - 8′D

Man, the mystery of Kokichi Ouma is going to be fun to unravel!

Oh and about that last bit - I’m actually not surprised by that tbh. They made him pretty androgynous and the fact that they unapologetically gave him love hotel scenes for all the guys and girls is pretty… telling. I actually wonder if it was a sort of apology for the protag-switch, especially considering Kaede would have been our first main-game girl protagonist - he seems to straddle the line much more than both Naegi and Hajime! But honestly though, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Fandom exists to rectify all the problems of canon (and sometimes cause some but that’s a different conversation), so if you want to write/draw/etc nb Shuichi, you can totally do that ~

[black-strike-otp]

part 98

When it’s hard to write becuz u feel like ur up too late keeping other ppl awake

Warm air moaned through the cracks and crevices of bent and misshapen metal. It gave off whistles and caused thinner pieces to wave in the air as a breeze came in from the Sea of Rust. There must have been a blistering storm going in order for the bots to feel the effects of it all the way to the colonial hideout. Luckily, it didn’t dampen the spirits or process of those hard at work.

Four bots stood together in a line, staring to the skies and the dark massive figure hovering high above Cybertron. Some bots dangling from chairs hanging from anchor points and rigged with harnesses, other climbing on ladders and even the structure itself as they received beams from Blackout to weld and bolt into place.

“Looks like they’re about done,” Barricade noted. “How tall did Blackout say it was?”

“I believe somewhere around the three-thousand foot mark?” Venus noted.

“At least it doesn’t require more than bare structure,” Novastrike whispered with awe. “Imagine if it was an apartment complex and the floors and walls we’d have to build.”

“May yet do,” Scorponok chattered. “If live long. See Cybertron reborn.”

The other three nodded with helms in various degrees of agreement. Although the possibility felt slim and out of reach, it was still a potential. The future was riddled with the unknown.

“That’s going to be one big target,” ‘Cade pointed out.

“No doubt,” Novastrike agreed. “But we need it to be tall enough to breech above possible lower level interference. It’s practically out of the atmosphere already, which means it should get a clear frequency signal out to space.”

Metal clanked as more beams rang against each other softly. As bots unhooked the tethers to beams they had secured, Blackout whirled around and came in low to pick up the final piece they’d be needing.

The top of the tower had been prefabricated and constructed on the ground. Its high-rise beams and adorning blinking lights to alert fliers and seekers not to hit the structure were attached. Bots from below and above were preparing the data streamers, cables, and power units from in various networks to make sure everything connected as smoothly as possible.

Blackout raised the massive composed structure off the ground effortlessly. Bots at various points on the ground and along the structure held on to extended straps to help keep it from swaying too much as his thrusters rumbled and he raised up with the item in tow to the very tippy top of the assembled piece. With nonstop progress, efficient workers, and a constant day and night shift of work, the project only had managed to take them roughly thirty days in total.

It was both a feet of engineering as it was a chronicle of the accounts of determination and willpower. If it stood, and worked as all hoped, it would be one of the most successful post Golden era achievements of the age.

In the opinion of all present and accounted for, at least. Some bots may be swayed to the belief that a synthetic energon could be adjusted over the years, though it still had not been perfected. Or other factors in medical care that had to be designed during the war were a good candidate too.

But the transmitter was teamwork at its finest. It held the hope of its builders in its simple commonplace design and with the very tippy top as Blackout held it into place for bots to begin checking, double checking, and triple checking every nut and bolt they put, every weld they placed. The antenna and various loads of equipment tucked snuggly at the bottom of it couldn’t be damaged, or all their work would be for nothing.

Blackout remained patiently still as the crew worked to assemble the remaining attachments and connect some vital last-minute wires between the computer and the antenna. Giving the thumbs up, some of the bots began to descend the behemoth whilst others got down the faster route: disarming their anchors and hanging to tethers and ladders still dangling from Blackout’s undercarriage to be taken down.

“Watching all these bots makes me wish I’d went into building fabrication,” ‘Cade stated thoughtfully.

Venus turned her optics to him, smiling sweetly as she speculated aloud, “That would have been nice, I guess I would have found a different mech to spend my time with at the institute.”

“Psh, I was only kidding,” he mumbled. “Building’s for chums.”

A working bot paused as he walked by, glancing to Barricade. The size of his derma were so massive that they protruded past a partially broken face mask he had in place. The bot gave a shake of his helm, walking away.

“I didn’t mean it!” Barricade called after him. “He knows I didn’t mean it, right?”

“Babe, maybe let the bots work in peace.”

“Besides,” he went on while placing a servo around Venus’ waist. “I like to burn rubber and cause too much trouble to stand in one spot for most of the day just doing the same task over and over again. I like to mix it up.”

Creating a soft ‘mhm’ in the back of her throat, Venus smiled with endearment as she leaned close to press a kiss against the side of his helm. The flashy cop purred his engines softly in response and returned the favor in kind with a kiss on her forehead.

“That’s gross,” Scorponok vowed with a tap of his pedes as he shifted himself and his gaze away from the couple.

“Don’t be mad just because you haven’t found a lady Insecticon yet Scorponok,” Barricade taunted lightly.

“Repugnant,” the scorpion clicked unhappily.

Pitying the poor bug for the josting he got too often, Novastrike stepped over to him and placed her servo upon his helm. He tilted his helm back so that three of his four golden optics turned to her, with one still focused on Blackout’s figure as he continued playing air life support to those getting off of the intergalactic transmitter.

Turning her optics to her beloved, Nova returned in watching as he helped down the last of the crew that awaited his pickup. He showed a tremendous amount of patience as he lowered himself softly to the surface of Cybertron and waited for bots to come unfasten all the tethers that had been latched on to various areas of his frame for structure. Even if Blackout liked to boost that he was more than capable of handling the weight easily, Novastrike found herself wincing inwardly. He hadn’t acted at all as of late like he’d been in pain, but when she truly thought about how he’d been spending day and night helping to get bots on and off the tower, lifting heavy equipment and rods, she felt a great deal of sympathy for her lovely mech.

Maybe she’d have to spend some time later with him if he would sit down long enough to let her give him some much needed TLC. A nice rubdown, a bit of polishing maybe, some well-deserved kisses while he just lounged.

Once the remainder of the fasteners were removed, Blackout reconfigured his armor around swiftly into his bipedal state. His helm gave an approving slight nod to the closest mech to him, saying something. They motioned with their servo up to the top of the immense construction project and then over to a nearby bot.

Unable to wait any longer, Novastrike darted around the workers pedes and over to Blackout. She could hear Venus and Scorponok try calling out to her. She guessed it was probably something about not getting in the way and being safe, but if the soaring pillar hadn’t fallen so far, she was pretty sure there was nothing to be concerned about.

As Blackout made his way over to a group of mechs stationed beside an enclosed monitor, Nova swerved to follow him.

“Evening Blackout!” the mech called out.

He nodded his helm respectfully.

“Just about to turn on the transmission signal you had recorded,” he stated. “The receiving unit should be finished in a couple joors. Some bots had to rewire a couple o’ things. But it’s not like our signal should be reading in the Andromeda galaxy right away since it has a lot o’ light-years to travel. You sure that’s where your friend is?”

Opening his mouth to answer, Blackout turned his optics down to the quiet huffing and puffing that came running up to his side. He raised an optic ridge down at Novastrike, grinning a little as she looked up to him.

“Hey,” she breathed out heavily.

“Hey to you too,” he rumbled, finding himself smiling a little wider.

“Are we about to turn this thing on?” Nova inquired, flicking her audio receptors forward.

“I was just about to say,” Blackout continued, turning his optics now to the mech. “That he was free to start transmitting. I’m not exactly sure where our ally is. I can only guess he started back to retracing our steps. Where we’d been and the area where we’d met up prior should have given him a good indication where to start working. How wide is our spectrum in the region?”

“About 8 light-years, give or take.”

“Well, we can certainly expect eventually to pick up some chatter and backfeed from the open receiver,” Blackout grunted with a nod of his helm. “Go ahead. Fire away.”

Bobbing his helm up and down, the mech turned into the partially enclosed monitor and moved around some wires into various plugs. He keystroked various things into the keypad and closed the box up.

Novastrike turned her helm back and squinted into the sky.

“Are we supposed to see if it’s doing anything?”

“No,” the engineer laughed. “It’s sending frequencies and coded encryption we can not hear; you won’t see anything but the warning lights along the tower maybe meant to indicate there’s a building so no one hits it.”

“How will we be able to receive anything back?” Novastrike asked desperately.

“Our coding indicates constant updates in the position and re-positioning of the tower as Cybertron circles its star,” the bot explained. “So long as there’s nothing that ends up blocking a sender's signal, they should be able to reply. It may get, how do I put this... back-logged, but so long as they put their message on a loop as we do, it will eventually arrive to the antenna.”

“There are two separate streaming data feeds. One sends, while the other receives. Our receiver isn’t ready; not a big problem as I said before as no bot will be getting our message instantaneously and if they are well, they’re close enough to Cybertron to turn their afts around and get here anyway. We should have it done not long from now. It offers a closed channel comm feed too that some of the crew and Blackout can privately access via their personal comm to check the receiver in real time to see if there’s any responses. Otherwise, we will have bots on manned duty keeping check on everything.”

“Sounds like a lot of work,” Novastrike breathed. She could feel stress just listening to this bot. She couldn’t imagine being in charge of any of this stuff.

Turning her optics up to Blackout, the little femme inquired quietly, “What did you send in the message, anyway?”

“I briefly left Nighthawk a status report that we were okay,” he responded. “Some minor details on our whereabouts, and an inquiry if he’d gotten any leads. I’ll have the loop changed if anything else comes up. Though, there will be no telling in what time or frame he may pick them up, if at all.”

Flicking her optics to the mech, Novastrike waited until he was walking away until she whispered, “How long can we loop our message through the antenna before some of these workers demand we start looping their messages in random directions hoping to get in contact with their friends?”

Blackout vented. “I don’t know. Considering this is the one and only way to currently communicate outside of Cybertron, it’s going to attract a lot of attention both from our own rogue faction as well as other bots. For the time being, bots are satisfied it’s complete and they know there’s a message getting out there. Vague, but out there. So we could get responses from any bot that technically hears the message.”

“Therefore,” he went on, “If we need to add more to the loop, there’s always the option of just making an extremely lengthy loop of data, or just debriefing specific bot’s names and a short mock of information they want to get out there. It’ll be like drawing straws if it comes to that though to decide who gets to grace the loop or not. We don’t need to add hundreds of names, it’ll just deter those who get the stream of information. No bot will want to, or may even be capable of, going through all that data to try looking for one name of someone they recognize and seeing a strange encrypted message.”

“Even if they do,” Blackout went on, “if we get a response, we would have to have a massive vote or some kind of elected mass to decide if we resume sending out the same feed, or try just signaling the one response we get with a reply to whomever the responder chooses to speak with.”

“Sounds... complicated,” Novastrike stated with an anxious smile. “You could have just told me ‘There’s only one message right now going out, it’s ours, and let’s hope to hear back from Nighthawk soon.”

Frowning, the obsidian giant drew his optic ridges together. “But that would not have been efficient as it hardly answered your questions.”

“Yeah, all the other stuff didn’t answer my questions much better,” she admitted.

Snorting back laughter, Blackout shook his helm slightly. He had a peaceful smile on his faceplate that warmed Novastrike’s spark as she watched him.

Extending his servo, the mech made a curling motion with his digits as he murmured softly, “May I?”

With a nod of her helm, Blackout knelt down and allowed her to climb upon his servo. As he rose to his full height, he brought her against his chassis. The thick, dark armor was already slightly warmed as the dark armored mech held her close to himself, directly over his spark chamber.

Snuggling back into her mech’s impervious armor plating of his chassis, Novastrike looked out at all the bustling bots walking around still. Some were congratulating each other, others were simply sharing dull-lit energon cubes, more still were wandering in the direction of the rogue base to probably get some much deserved rest.

She could make out Venus, Barricade, and Scorponok talking to a few of the bots in a huddled group. Some of the bots were making wild motions with their arms dramatically. The duo seemed invested in the conversation, though the scorpion not so much.

Nova had to smile a she watched ‘Cade take Venus by the servo. His arm moved back and forth with hers, their digits intertwined.

“What do we do now?” Novastrike whispered softly, turning her helm up to look into Blackout’s dark crimson optics.

He prepared a captivating small smile, just for her. With a twitch of his servo and rearrangement of his digits, Blackout managed to move his digits to be able to caress from her audio stacks down her backstrut.

She wriggled beneath the contact, purring vibrantly. Pressing her side against his armor, Novastrike looked to him with shimmering optics as she rested her cheek to him, listening to the mechanics of his body with her sensitive ears so close. The sound of his spark was just beneath the surface, pulsing quietly and humming an exceptionally beautiful tune.

“For now, all we can do is wait.”

[sophygurl]

Woot! Tagged by my new we-finished-a-series-at-the-same-time-and-desperately-need-to-talk-about-it book buddy @blackandwhitemotley​! (I seem to collect these - hi @wingedsaboteur​)

1) Name/Nickname: Rosemary is my name. Soph or sophy tends to be a nickname to anyone who met me on the internets first for obvious reasons. I will accept the shortening of my name - Rose - only if I can tell by the way you said it that you know the full name is Rosemary (I can tell okay). I only accept Rosie if my inner child is out because that’s HER name though I accept Rosy , from one friend who asked permission a long time ago (hey @ladynorbert​). I let any and all kids call me me Aunt Rose, not just my nieces and nephew (who is too young yet to call me anything), and my oldest niece still loves to call me by her baby name for me - AuRoo. This was probably a longer thesis on names than the question is meant to be, but that’s me!

2) Gender: Cis genderqueer woman is the best descriptor for my gender and sex. 

3) Star sign: Leo - rawr.

4) Height: 5′3′‘ - just short enough to have short people problems but not quite short enough to be seen as short.

5) Hogwarts House: I’ve had long conversations about this with one of my closest friends @c-l-ford, and we really can’t come up with a true consensus. I think I’m a combo of all four, but I realize that’s a cop-out. 

6) Favourite animal: Felines of any sort, though I’m an all around animal lover (bugs don’t count).

7) Hours of sleep: 8-12, though closer to 8 these days since the Lyrica is helping me to sleep more normally.

8) Dogs or Cats: Cats obvi, but I do love dogs. 

9) Number of blankets: Like, I know this is asking the number of blankets you sleep with on your bed, but the phrasing makes me wanna go around and count all the blankets I own. But okay - I sleep with a light blanket during warmer months, and throw a big comforter over the top during the colder ones. 

10) Dream trip: I’d love to take a cruise through the Mediterranean, taking stops in Sicily, Italy, Greece, Egypt, Turkey, Israel, Morocco, etc. 

11) Dream job: At this point, I’d really just love to be working again in any capacity. I miss it so much. I miss feeling like I had a purpose, and knowing I was doing a good job, and working harder the next day, and thinking about getting promoted, and just generally - yea - being my workaholic self. Which makes being too disabled to work for over 15 years now kind of a bummer. 

12) Time: 1:12 pm

13) Birthday: July 29

14) Favourite Bands: I’m never up on new music, so I’m gonna go with some of my classic faves here - Areosmith, Cheap Trick, The Doors, The Indigo Girls, Journey, The Monkees, R.E.M., Queen

15) Favourite Solo Artists: Ani DiFranco, Blondie, Dar Williams, Janis Joplin, Joan Jett, k.d. lang, P!nk, Tori Amos (and yes I added an s to make this one plural too, no fair asking for multiple bands but only one solo artist)

16) Song Stuck In My Head: Lady, by Styx

17) Last Movie I watched: Hidden Figures, though my stupid body fell asleep at the last third or so of the movie, so I’m gonna have to re-watch. (When I woke up, I turned to my friend and said “I missed the ending, did they ever make it to the moon?”)

18) Last Show I Watched: Madam Secretary (I’m a few eps behind though)

19) When Did I Create My Blog: I wanna say about four years ago??

20) What Do I Post/Reblog: So many. I’m a huge TV nerd, so lots of reblogs of gifsets and meta (and sometimes my own meta or short opinion bit) about lots of shows both past and present. I also dig me a lot of books and some movies, so those show up. Intersectional feminism is a big deal to me, so I signal boost a lot of stuff along those lines. I love memes, puns, cute animal pics, gender queering, and pretty shiny things. I might occasionally post personal stuff. I’m chronically ill and that affects my life to a large degree, so I’m likely to reblog stuff about that if it shows up on my dash. Around May - June, I’m likely to be posting about WisCon, my local feminist SFF con that happens Memorial Weekend each year. And in a couple of days here it’ll be November 1st which is when I let my Christmas nerd out to play, so there’ll be a lot of that then too. 

21) Last Thing I Googled: haha, it was actually the song Lady by Styx because I couldn’t remember who sang it, and because once I realized it was in my head, I wanted to listen to it.

22) Other Blogs: No other tumblrs, though I do (very) occasionally post on my Dreamwidth account - same name as this tumblr. 

23) Do I Get Asks: Not very often, though I love it when I do! I adore interacting with folks, so come at me.

24) Why I Chose My URL: sophy from sophia, the feminine divine aspect of god, and also just wisdom/knowledge in general (I was studying philosophy and religious studies when I came up with the sophygurl handle the first time). Then I added -gurl at the end because it was less likely to conflict with other ppl who wanted to combine sophy and girl together to make a name. lol

25) Following: 267 (this is why I can never catch up even on a good day)

26) Followers: 582 - can that be right? Do I have those reversed? I guess a lot of those are spam accounts. 

27) Lucky Number: 5

28) Favourite instrument: Drums of all kinds.

29) What Am I Wearing: lol a silky nightgown paired with an old comfy sweatshirt over the top and comfy pj pants underneath, and warm socks.

30) Favourite Food: Dark chocolate, broccoli, potatoes, and my family’s recipe spaghetti sauce - which I’m gonna make in a few days for the first time in ages woo!

31) Nationality: USian. 

32) Favourite Song: Imagine, by John Lennon. 

33) Last Book Read: The Root by Na’amen Gobert Tilahun 

34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: Oh geeze, most of my fave universes to read about/watch are not ones I’d want to personally be involved in, so let me think. Maybe the world in Practical Magic, Starhawk’s The Fifth Sacred Thing but only if I could be part of the Bay Area world and not the LA one, Realm of the Elderlings - preferably in the Rain Wilds over other areas.

Tagging: other than the one who tagged me - if you got tagged in the body of this post for other reasons, consider yourselves tagged to do this! Otherwise - tagging anyone who wants to. Make sure you tag me so I’ll see it when you do it tho! :)

[guardiandae]

.

I got so hyped for parts of TFA and towards the end really enjoyed it immensely but I still feel really cheated that the beginning was so rushed. It would’ve been so easy for them to just take five extra seconds to really sink the hook into me for each of the characters from the start, but it feels like if anything was originally there it got chopped out in favor of faster, faster editing or maybe they completely forgot to put it in there to start with.

Like, what makes me a little mad is that the stuff I wanted, actually was in the film, but way later, like I expected. Like, the fact that Finn was abducted, trained all his life as a trooper, and that was the first battle he’d ever seen. If they’d taken literally a second to drop that info right at the start. And I really think that Poe should’ve actually questioned Finn and his intentions for 2 freaking seconds when they first met, bc the convo they did have... doesn’t cut it for me. Poe is the best pilot for the Resistance, he’s just been tortured for info, and he doesn’t even think that a storm trooper conveniently trying to help him out isn’t a little suspicious? It could’ve easily been a trick?? Hell, even if they had Finn, while in the tie fighter, go, ‘why do you trust me?’ and have Poe spout some sympathetic understanding for storm troopers, that would’ve helped a lot. As much as I super love Poe and Finn becoming such fast friends, their limited interaction lacked the appropriate depth, and not necessarily for lack of time together but lack of just, realistic or proper communication. Literally five, ten seconds and some extra questions and answers, like what I suspected and Phasma later said, Finn was going to be reconditioned, which is probably an awful experience, so fuck yeah he wanted to get out of there right then. I was so on board and SHOOK by Finn’s first scenes, seeing a trooper die in front of him, the blood smeared across his helm, the way he hesitated, the way he tried to follow the motions but couldn’t shoot the innocent villagers, I was. so. there. but then they just rushed everything so fast and didn’t give proper dialogue to bring it home. Like yes we can infer what’s going on, yes we can find out about it in retrospect but in this circumstance it’s not the same? Especially since it makes no sense for Poe to trust him, knowing how awful the New Order is, and not getting any like.. convincing... thing out of Finn. No, ‘I need to leave, they’ll recondition me’ just hey buddy let’s run off together! Sure I suddenly trust you there’s no way this could stab me in the back or put the entire Resistance in jeopardy!

Like. I wanna have fun so badly but just take the extra five seconds to let me??? Especially since later on when they reuinite like... I so want that to be a 150% awesome moment and believe in their deep friendship BUT THEY HAD NOTHING TO BOND OVER? LIKE? POE 100% TRUSTED HIM FROM THE START (BUT FOR NO REASON) AND LUCKILY FIN WAS ACTUALLY A NICE GUY? THE FUCK? Don’t cheat me, JJ Abrams.

The other thing that bugged me was, when Rey and BB8 first crossed paths, I was so confused by the entire interaction. She saved him from tha alienn guy, but that whole interaction made it seem like she knew BB8, hence going straight to his rescue, and knew what the alien was doing, bc it’s something that has happened more than once already. Like, as if BB8 had been with Rey for a while, and she had to keep trying to get that little guy from scraping him. Which I was 100% cool with and then realized, uh, no, she has no idea who BB8 is. Only later it’s made clear that droids are basically treated like people .. or at least Rey and others treats droids like they are free and sentient people, I suppose sleezy scrappers might not. But it’s just... very bizarre, I don’t know. If they’d somehow made that sentiment clear, hat Rey considered BB8 their own person, then maybe that would’ve cleared some things up. Because honestly once I was like, “ok so they DON’T know each other” I was like “so why is that little alien taking shit from her? That droid could be sold for a lot of money.” It’d make more sense for her to be like, this is my turf, my droid! That or, ‘droids are not property, leave it alone.’

Like.. idk, stop leaving me confused for so long before making it clear later on in the film. It’s not effective storytelling, it’s not an ~intriguing mystery~, especially when there’s SO MUCH MORE PLOT to get to in the movie, it’s just making it harder for me to get on board with the fun because nothing makes sense and these ‘mysteries’ are THINGS THAT WOULD HELP ME CONNECT TO THE CHARACTERS I’M SUPPOSED TO BE CARING ABOUT. I WANT TO. I FUCKING WANT TO CARE ABOUT THEM AND CRY EVERY DAY AND YOU ARE STANDING IN MY WAY, JJ ABRAMS.

Also, I’ve got a lot of ppl on my dash heavily invested into this fandom, especially Hux/Kylo shippers, which is part of why I was so disappointed bc I thought it’d be so much more enjoyable from the start? Like yes it was enjoyable but the beginning had such poor storytelling... anyway, my Kylux shipping friends and fandom at large led me to believe that Kylo Ren was this emo baby who has temper tantrums and cries all the time and is always emotionally unstable and Hux is like his chill 2 cool for school 2nd hand man who has to like, hold Kylo together and take his shit and get the job done while Kylo is like borderline incompetent bc he is so sad and emo and tortured.

Except, the movie is none of that. In fact I had kind of the opposite impression. It’s probably 90% bc Kylo’s face is hidden most of the time, but Hux even from his first lines is acted with this extremely tense, constipated, agitatio like he’s ready to either explore or burst into angry tears at any time. Like, am I the only one who got that from this face? 

it’s like Kylo has his balls in a Force vice grip at all times, I’m serious, I had to just mentally accept that in order to tolerate all of his lines, like, this poor guy, he has to worry about his balls being crushed, I get it now.

Plus there’s this 

Like, you could take that Nazi fervor back a notch, you’re frothing at the mouth ,bud. It doesn’t feel like he’s seriously into it, it seems more like there’s some very painful threat against him if he fails .. like his balls being crushed... off screen (bc I did not catch any threats to him on screen? but even so, like, he should’ve been slightly more chill, then that threat should’ve been made, then he’s like, fuck bro my balls, and the constipated nazi thing would’ve been understandable? idk)

also this all made me remember that I’ve never understood the politics involved in the entire Star Wars series and ... yeah I’m really fucking lost at this point, for sure. and don’t really gaf about the franchise to go watch them all and see if it’ll click for me. More likely I’ll be madder about more dumb shit I never noticed when I first saw these films when I was like, 10. lmao. Altho... my wife Padme... >.>

But yeah like... Kylo gets mad and trashes shit with his lightsaber but that’s cool and also like, I get where his anger and connflict is coming from (tahbnks to FAN META AND NOT THE FUCKING MOVIE) but I don’t get where Hux’s also very visible emotional agitation comes from.

Also, Snokes. I only know Kylo’s backstory so much bc of meta, and they do state the stuff in the film, but it would’ve been nice to bring it together, maybe when Han was trying to talk to him? like, according to fan meta, and Leia, Snokes basically groomed Kylo into the dark side when he was young... Han, come on, there could’ve been a little more said. There’s supposed to be so much weight behind that story but it feels empty when nobody really touches on it as much as they should. Like, I don’t need lengthy exposition, I just need a smidge  more than the bare fucking crumbs you’re giving me. Tho the ‘I’m being torn apart’ thing was nice tbh but without understanding why within the story it still risks just sounding dramatic for no reason. But, we know Kylo was tempted away to the dark side by Snokes, killed a bunch of kiddos, and ..? Basically I guess. He says he feels tempted by the light, his family, but aside from a few shreds that’s kind of all we get. 

Like, idk. There’s so. much. in this film that should be touched on more and given more weight but, instead it’s like nothing ends up feeling impactful. Poe gets tortured, Finn has faced his first battle and was clearly traumatized by it (the acting was greattt even before he took off that helmet wow that’s why I got so disappointed) but there’s no moment to transition, just, HEY PAL, LET’S RUN AWAY TOGETHER, YEE HAW. We can have weighty drama and lighthearted fun for the kids. We can. We really can.

Also, Rey’s abandonment on the planet, only the bit where Kylo is getting into her head cements the fact that she is so lonely and was left behind (also Maz, I love Maz). Also, Han’s death, also the destruction of an entire solar system. It all just felt so rushed, not much was allowed to hold any weight, even stuff I knew was supposed to be important?

Maybe it’s just me though, maybe I’m just really fucking dumb and like things to be clearly spelled out and stated and cemented together but, .. like I said,  I don’t expect exposition, I just expect like, a little moment where maybe Poe is suspicious of Finn, maybe Poe is clearly not okay (post torture and all) but then pulls himself together and is lie, yeah let’s do this, like... let me cry.

The only time I did cry was seeing Carrie fisher appear on screen the first time. AAEAAAUUGGGHHH!!!!!!!! ;;;;;;;;;;;;

Also, what’s up with R2D2 being a convenient asshole who slept for ages apparently and then conveniently wakes back up with the rest of the map they needed after all the fighting is done like... u dickhole. 

Also Luke is an enormous dickhole I’m pretty sure.

Also like, how long do these people live? Bc like, only 20 years or so shouldn’t be long enough for Rey to be like, ‘wow I thought Jedi weren’t real wow I thought that was a myth wow, wow’ like bitch that’s RECENT HISTORY, RECENT VERY IMPORTANT HISTORY, THERE WAS A ENTIRE HUGE JEDI WAR VS STORM TROOPERS THAT WASN’T THAT DAMN LONG AGO, AND STORM TROOPERS ARE REAL AS SHIT, KYLO REN’S FORCE POWERS ARE REAL AS SHIT, WHY DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS, Y’ALL GOT WARPSPEED ‘GARBAGE’ SPACESHIPS LYING AROUND BUT Y’ALL AIN’T GOT THE INTERNET, TWITTER? THE FUCK. STORM TROOPERS WOULD BE POSTING VINES OF KYLO’S EPIC MELTDOWNS. (RIP VINE, BUT THIS WOULD BE VINE 3.0 IN THE FUTURE~)

Idk. Maybe I’m old and bad storytelling bothers the fuck out of me. 

But I recently watched Mad Max Fury Road and every single part of that ws fucking flawless? Like? I donnn’t even need flawless I JUST NEED YOU TO TAKE 5 SECONDS TO LET ME CONNECT TO THESE CHARACTERS THAT I WANT TO LOVE AND ALLOW ME TO UNDERSTAND SOME BASIC CONCEPTS SO I CAN ENJOY YOUR FUCKING MOVIE JJ ABRAMS YOU LENSFLARE SHIT. YOUR STORYTELLING AND PACING IS BAD AND U SHOULD FEEL BAD.

didn’t like Hux as much as I thought I was going to.. or even remotely :/

didn’t like Rey, Finn, or Poe as much as I really wanted to. I liked them, but I could’ve liked them so much more and I feel robbed.

Maz, special guest appearance by Bloodraven!!, and Crotchy Old Man Han Solo were really the saving graces of this movie for me.

also, Kylo was actually really well acted imo, and fairly relatable despite also suffering from that limited screen time, limited chance to connect to the audience .. he did get more than anyone else, tho. 

but I enjoyed the movie. 

5/10 would have to watch it again to try to sink more understanding and feels into it that I should’ve been allowed to know from the start.

but I don’t think I will watch it again, glad I rented it and didn’t buy it :/

BUT, I KEPT JOGGING IN PLACE DURING THE MOVIE AND I GOT MY 20K STEP GOAL TODAY SO LMAO