#HELP this makes my life sound interesting

[cutehoons02]

Run through my heart

*pairing: illegal racer driver Jungwon x good Girl

*trope: frat/bad boy x good girl

*synopsis: Jungwon at only 20 is in the top 5 of the state for being one of the drivers of illegal races all over Korea but what would happen when your best friend and Jungwon’s best friend’s girlfriend invited you to see an illegal race? Jungwon is totally the opposite of your ideal boyfriend but with his bad boy charm but also gentlamen vibes you will be able to not fall for his charm?

*tags: A lot of humor,fluffy,jungwon loves to flirt with girls especially with the protagonist, pervy Jungwon, both the protagonist and jungwon love to tease each other, masturbation (f. receives it in public) fingering, pussy drinking,unprotected sex (don’t horny ppl)+18,pet names (good girl,princess) (wildcat)

(English is not my native language)

10.5k (🐈)

💌The request and ideas were written by @jayjw16enxp for this story (thanks a lot for your help)

The smell of burnt tires permeated the cold night air, mixing with the metallic scent of petrol. The headlights of the illuminated cars created light games that made the road look like a movie scene. You were standing next to your best friend, hands crossed on your chest in your padded leather jacket, You were grumpy since your best friend in the car had told you that for that night you would not go to Karaoke and eat fried chicken but to see Jay’s bff running and you had a skeptical look on cars in line.

"I don’t know why I came," you muttered, watching Jay waving animatedly with a group of guys near a black Nissan Skyline. "The underground races? Seriously? This is the height of your genius?" you told your best friend.

Your best friend laughed, settling down next to Jay. 'Come on, relax! It’s just a different evening, try to have some fun!, you’re here with Jay and me, nothing will happen to you, and in less than two hours you’ll be in your warm bed thinking about the adrenaline that you’ve experienced, trust me for once, Y/n'

"Having fun? Getting into trouble? Great idea. If someone from the press studio finds out my scholarship will disappear instantly, I’ll ask for financial damages to your boyfriend full of money." You shook your head, adjusting your hair behind an ear for the nervous. You were about to make more biting jokes when a soft, vaguely amusing voice interrupted his thoughts.

«You don’t seem like the type of place. Who did you take Jay to see an illegal race? The little mouse in the library?»

You snatched him up, and you saw him Jungwon. His eyes were sharp as razor blades, his smile bold and just curved his lips. He wore a leather jacket that reflected the lights of the headlights and leaned with ease to a shiny black car, probably his own a car that looked fast even when it was stationary.

You were caught off guard by her presence for a moment. "I am not," you replied, crossing your arms. "And apparently, you don’t seem like the type to... break the law either."

Jungwon laughed, a low and slightly dangerous sound. «It’s up to someone to add a little adrenaline to these monotonous lives, otherwise you know how boring life would be without a bit of a kick.» He pulled away from the car and approached you slowly, with the cat’s step of who knows exactly what effect it has. «And then, it is not so bad, right? Look at this crowd, the energy. Aren’t you a little curious to feel your blood pumping much stronger inside you especially your body to make you feel the sensation of adrenaline, of the anxiety and fear of being discovered in such a place where surely good girls like you should not be?»

"Not enough to put my life on the line for a four-wheeled ego race or to risk my money on a guy who’s gonna be even smaller than me," you said, clenching your lips.

Your words, however, did not shake him at all. He seemed to enjoy himself even more. He leaned slightly towards you, his eyes as bright as those of a cat having fun with its prey. «Interesting,» he said quietly. «Usually people either fear me or admire me. You, on the other hand... You’re a beautiful mystery, who would have thought that the good girl had such a sharp temper.»

You raised an eyebrow, determined not to be intimidated. "Maybe because I’m not interested in impressing a guy who thinks he’s a hero just 'cause he can drive fast'."

Jungwon stepped back, raising his hands in surrender, but the smile never left his face. «Touché. But don’t underestimate the speed. It’s a feeling that changes you and makes you feel alive. Maybe you should try it at least once.»

"It will never happen," you replied

«Never say» he muttered with a small smile before a voice called his name in the distance. He turned, gazing at the crowd, then looked back at you. «Hold on to your skepticism, 'good girl'. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll change your mind.»

And with that phrase and a smile full of arrogance, Jungwon walked away, leaving you with a mixture of irritation and something more difficult to define. Something that made you feel a shiver down your back, even if you didn’t want to admit it.

"God, it’s unbearable," you mumbled between your teeth as your best friend burst out laughing next to you.

'Unbearable, of course,' said your friend, giving you an elbow. 'But admit it, he has left you speechless. Both because he knows his stuff but also because he is crazy hot with that bad boy aura but at the same time with those cat eyes that look at you attentively as if you were his next prey'

You’re sunburned, your cheeks are starting to pinch. "Don’t even joke about it."

But in your stomach, a spark had been lit, and you weren’t sure that you could put it out so easily.

The roar of the engines was ringing in the air, covering up any conversation. You watched with wide eyes the cars lined up next to each other, ready to snatch like wild beasts. The headlights lit up the asphalt, and for a moment everything seemed to be still, as if night held its breath.

Jay was standing next to you, his arm resting protectively on your shoulders and his girlfriend’s. <<Relax,>> he said, a reassuring smile on his lips. <<It’s all under control. No one will touch you.>>

"I’m not worried about myself," you mumbled, even though it wasn’t entirely true. You felt like a fish out of water, but there was something in the atmosphere, the electric energy of the crowd, the roar of cars, the tension before the shot that made your heart beat a little faster. Maybe it was fear, or maybe... excitement...that was the feeling Jungwon described earlier?

The deafening music that had flooded the road until a few minutes earlier suddenly ceased, leaving only room for the roar of the engines. All eyes were on the racers. Cameras and phones stood up, ready to capture the start of the race. Jungwon was in the front row, his face calm and focused as he held the wheel.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him. There was something hypnotic about him: that arrogant ease, the confidence in his movements. It was as if the adrenaline ran through his veins instead of blood. He didn’t even seem nervous.

<< So, what do you think? > asked Jay, lowering his voice so that only you could hear him.

"What?" you replied, trying to mask the disturbance.

<<About him. Jungwon. He’s good, isn’t he? >

You shrugged your shoulders, trying to look indifferent. "I don’t know yet. He has to prove it."

Jay laughed, shaking his head. <<You’ll see.>>

The air vibrated when the start signal blinked. The cars sprinted forward with a deafening roar, the tires leaving black tracks on the asphalt. You held your breath as you watched Jungwon take the lead immediately, zigzagging through the corners with impressive precision.

The track was an urban course, full of tight curves and straight lines that tested the skills of each driver. Jungwon steered with almost inhuman ease, cutting corners to the millimeter without ever losing speed.

<< Look how he enters the curve,>> said Jay enthusiastically. << No one drives like him. He is not afraid of anything.>>

You watched him, fascinated, the other cars tried to keep up with him, but nobody could keep up. It was as if the machine were an extension of his body, and he knew exactly how to push it to its limits without ever losing control.

After two laps, it was clear that he would win. No matter how much others tried to get over him, Jungwon was always one step ahead, calculating every move with surgical precision. When he crossed the finish line first, the crowd burst into a roar of exultation.

Jay clapped loudly, pulling you and his girlfriend into a hug. <<I told you!>> he exclaimed, laughing.

You were very quick. "He’s good, I admit. But he’s too young for all this. It’s ridiculous to think he could be so good, he just turned 20."

«It’s not ridiculous,» said a voice behind you.

You turned and there he was, Jungwon, still with his helmet in hand and the arrogant smile that lit up his face. He looked triumphant, but in his eyes, there was a challenge.

«I’m twenty, not ten», he continued, leaning nonchalantly against a parked car. «And it doesn’t matter how old you are when you’re the best.»

You crossed your arms and smiled shamelessly. "The best? In your head, maybe. People talk, you know? Not everyone is so convinced of your abilities."

Jungwon laughed a low and funny sound. «Let them talk. The numbers don’t lie, i'm in the top 5 of the state racers. And trust me, it wasn’t easy to get there.»

"If you say so," you replied, trying to ignore the shiver that had passed through your back as you looked into his eyes.

«You must not believe me,» he said, taking a step closer. «But sooner or later you will understand. Speed is not just about money or perfect cars, it’s about the heart.»

The evening seemed almost quiet. You were sitting on an old wooden stool, holding in your hands a mojito that was melting too fast. Your best friend, laughing next to you as Jay strutted in the distance, probably telling someone how good Jungwon was.

'It’s not so bad, isn’t it?' said your bf, giving you a slight push on the shoulder.

"It still doesn’t convince me," you replied, sipping your drink. "Too much confusion, too many people... Not my world."

Your bf laughed. 'I know, but sometimes you have to try new things. Maybe there’s something here that...'

The girl’s words were interrupted by a sudden and deafening noise. Screams, immediately followed by the unmistakable sound of police sirens. The crowd exploded into a chaos of excited voices, bodies pushing and shoes pounding on the asphalt.

You got stuck, your heart was pounding. "What’s going on?"

'The cops, they’re here!' shouted someone, and the crowd began to scatter in all directions.

You looked around, lost, looking for your bff with your eyes, but before you could understand what to do you felt a strong hand holding your arm. You turned around and found Jungwon staring at you with a serious, almost impatient expression.

«You,» he said, bowing without waiting for an answer. «Come with me.»

"What-? Wait! No!" you tried to protest, but he didn’t give you the time. He dragged you through the crowd with fierce determination, dodging people and fallen bottles, to his car parked near the main road.

Jungwon opened the passenger door and almost pushed it in. «Get in.»

"I don’t even think so!"

The sirens came even closer, and you had no choice. You sat in the seat with your heart in your throat, slamming the door just as he was getting into the driver’s seat and turning on the engine.

«It’s written on your face that you’ve never been to such meetings,» he said as he set off. «Too scared to move.»

You stared at him. "I’m not scared!"

«Oh, you are,» he replied, and before you could fight back he put the gas on. The machine slammed forward at a speed that took your breath away. You clung to the seat, white knuckles, as the landscape began to flow at an impossible speed. The sirens were still behind you, but they got farther and farther away.

"You’re going too fast!" you shouted, trying to make yourself heard above the roar of the engine.

Jungwon did not answer, his face focused while he was dodging other cars and taking sharp turns without ever slowing down. His calm was frightening.

"I said slow down!" He turned his head slightly towards you, a funny smile that curved his lips. «What is it, speed scares you? I thought you were more brave.»

That was the drop of water. Without thinking, you raised your hand and slapped him on the arm. "Slow down!"

Jungwon laughed, the sound was low and incredibly calm for the situation. «It doesn’t work like that, princess. With the police on your tail, you run or lose.»

You stared at him, furious and terrified at the same time. "You’re out of your mind!"

«Maybe» he replied, giving the pedal a further push. The car accelerated even more, and you felt your heart go up in your throat.

«Tell me where you live,» said Jungwon, suddenly serious.

You exhibited, still tight to the seat. "Why?"

«Because if you don’t tell me, I don’t know where to leave you. Unless you want to stay with me all night.»

Your cheeks burned. "You’re an idiot."

«I take it as a compliment.»

With an exasperated sigh, you gave him the address. He nodded, turned the wheel with impeccable accuracy, and put a side road in.

The speed was only slightly slower, but not fast enough to feel the ground under your feet.

When it finally arrived in front of your palace, your heart was still beating like a drum.

He stopped the car, putting an arm on the steering wheel as he looked at you. «All together, see? It wasn’t so bad.»

You struck him with your eyes, but you did not answer. You opened the door and came down, almost stumbling as your legs trembled.

«Good night, princess», said Jungwon with a smile as he looked at you.

"Good night a horn," you mumbled, slamming the door. But as you ran home, you couldn’t ignore the fact that, despite everything, a part of you had felt that adrenaline... and you almost liked it.

The atmosphere at the university was unbearable. Every conversation seemed to revolve around Jungwon: the young prodigy, the boy who had rushed like lightning in the last run and left everyone speechless.

You sighed every time you heard his name. It was everywhere. In the boys' talks, in the girls' whispers. Even the professors seemed to mention with a veiled interest "that young pilot of whom everyone is talking".

But to you, Jungwon was just an arrogant boy with a passion for risk and a smile that irritated you more than it was allowed. Yet, there was something you couldn’t get out of your head: the night of the escape. The speed, the shiver, the way you felt alive... and vulnerable. It was a feeling you hated and, in part, wanted to forget.

One afternoon, as you were desperately trying to ignore the avalanche of messages in the groups on Jungwon, your bff approached your desk with a complicit smile and a colorful poster in hand.

'Look here,' she said, waving the paper before you.

You looked up from the book. "What is it?"

'One race,' he replied enthusiastically. 'But not a big one. It’s a training for the top 5, a private event. Only a few can attend.'

"So why show it to me?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

'Cause I want to go there,' she replied with a smirk. 'And I thought you could come along. You know, as my partner in crime.'

"Not even in my dreams," you cut short, back to the book.

'Really?' sat down next to you, lowering his voice in a provocative tone. 'Are you sure? Maybe you can take the opportunity to thank that guy who saved you last night.'

You were blocked. Those words hit a nerve. You promised to thank him, despite everything. After that night you didn’t see each other anymore, and not that you cared particularly... or maybe yes?

"I’m thinking about it," you murmured at the end, leaving your satisfied bff in her place.

Two days later, you were exactly where you swore you would never be: a private track just outside the city, surrounded by a select few spectators. There was no crowd or chaos, only the roar of cars preparing to go down the track.

Despite initial reluctance, you could not deny that the atmosphere was fascinating. The shiny asphalt in the sun, the smell of burnt rubber, and the electricity in the air. It was all so... different.

You settled next to your best friend, who chatted animately with Jay. But your eyes were immediately caught by a figure in the distance: Jungwon.

He was there, with his pilot’s suit half open on the chest, helmet under his arm, and that cheeky smile printed on his face. He was laughing with a group of girls who seemed to be hanging on his lips.

You were staring at him, unable to look away. It was impossible to deny: he was beautiful. Perhaps too beautiful. His cat eyes shone with a light that seemed magnetic, and the dark and slightly ruffled hair fell perfectly on his face as if they had been designed for him.

And that suit... God.

"Oh, no," you muttered, looking away. You couldn’t, you didn’t have to admit it was nice. He wasn’t. He wasn’t even your type.

'Are you all right?' she asked, giving yourself a curious look.

"Yes," you answered, clenching your fists. "It’s all right."

But as Jungwon put on his helmet with a fluid gesture and approached his car, you noticed that your heart was beating faster. And it wasn’t the noise of the engines.

Coming fourth wasn’t exactly the result he wanted, especially considering he had raced against Heeseung and Sunghoon, two legends in the underground races. He had given everything, but against them, it was like fighting a storm.

As he stepped out of the car and took off his helmet, his gaze wandered through the small crowd of selected spectators. He looked for Jay, knowing that he would be somewhere with his girlfriend.

When he found it, however, Jungwon was stuck for a moment. Next to Jay was she: the good girl.

She was still, her arms crossed and the expression swaying between embarrassment and a strange determination. Although the light of sunset played with his features, giving his figure an almost ethereal aura, it was evident that he was not at ease in that environment.

Jungwon approached, his disappointment for fourth place temporarily forgotten. Curiosity shone in his feline eyes. «Wow, who sees again,» he said, a sneering smile that curled his lips.

You looked at him with your usual exasperated expression, but with a slight blush that colored your cheeks. "Hi, Jungwon."

«I didn’t think these places were your kind» he continued, slightly bowing his head. «Have you decided to add a little adrenaline to your monotonous life?»

Roll your eyes, ignoring the provocation. "I’m not here to have fun."

«Oh, then why are you here?»

Take a deep breath, determined to say what you had to. "I’m here to thank you."

Jungwon stared at you, surprised. «Thank me? For what?»

"For having me... Saved, if you may say so, the other night," I replied, looking down for a moment before raising it to meet his eyes.

For a moment he laughed, shaking his head slightly.

«Saved, eh?» she said, approaching by a step. «I would say that I have only given you a moving passage.»

"Call it what you will," you replied, trying to keep your cool. "But still... thank you."

Jungwon stopped laughing and stared at you, his eyes twinkling like something that looked like a challenge.

«And what do you think I want in return?» he asked, his voice low and almost hypnotic.

You looked at him, confused. "In return?"

He leaned slightly towards you, his face so close that you felt the warmth of his breath on your skin. Then, with a whisper that made your blood freeze in the veins, he said: «A kiss.»

Your eyes widened. "You’re kidding, right?"

Jungwon straightened, smiling with the same arrogance as ever. «I never joke, princess.»

You stared at him for a long moment, trying to figure out if he was serious or not. Finally, he crossed his arms and raised his chin in defiance. "Then you will be left without thanks."

He laughed as if his answer amused him even more. «We will see» and walked away with a sure pace, leaving you there with your heart still beating wildly.

It was a quiet evening, of those you preferred. Your best friend had gone out with Jay, and for once the apartment seemed to be in a pleasant silence. You were sitting on the couch with a cup of hot tea and a book, finally free to enjoy some peace.

But that peace broke suddenly when the intercom rang, making you jump. You were not expecting anyone. You did a little bit of showing, but then you went and checked the screen.

Your breath was blocked. On the monitor was Jungwon, hands in his pockets and that relaxed expression that seemed to say "I’m always in the right place at the right time."

"What’s he doing here?" you murmured, nervously tightening the oversized pajamas you wore. He put his hand on your mouth, trying to collect your thoughts.

Despite everything, you opened.

Jungwon’s steps rang up the stairs, and before you could get ready, he was standing at the door, tall, confident, and with a slight smile on his face.

«Hello, princess,» he said, leaning on the door frame.

You looked at him, confused and with a mixture of irritation and nervousness. "What are you doing here?"

He did not answer. He entered without being invited, taking off his shoes naturally as if he were at home.

"what.." you stopped when you saw him walking around the apartment, observing everything with curiosity.

«Nice place,» said Jungwon, passing a hand on the kitchen cabinet and then taking a look at the sofa. He moved with the grace of a cat, calmly exploring every corner.

"You can’t come in like that," you protested.

«Why not? » he answered, turning to look at you. «I’m doing nothing wrong.»

You crossed your arms, trying to keep calm. "You still avoided the main question: what are you doing here?"

Jungwon came a few steps closer, reducing the distance between you. His gaze was piercing, and the sneering smile had never left his face. «I have come to take my thanks.»

The heart missed a stroke. "What?"

«I told you, didn’t I? I don’t leave anything halfway.» He leaned slightly toward you. «And I don’t accept excuses.»

You roast, feeling completely overwhelmed by his presence. You tried to appeal to your rational side, but couldn’t find the right words. "I... I don’t understand why you’re doing this. I owe you nothing."

Jungwon tilted his head as if he was weighing up his words. Then he laughed softly, a low, warm sound that made her shiver. «You’re always so sweet, aren’t you? And scared.»

"I am not afraid," you protested.

«Oh, yes you are,» he replied, getting even closer. His eyes shone with malice, but there was something else too, something deeper that you could not decipher.

I stepped back, but you found yourself with your back against the kitchen table. You were trapped, and Jungwon seemed to know it.

«So?» he asked you, with a smile that seemed like a challenge. «What about my thanks?»

You looked down, your face was red. "I don’t know what you want from me..."

Jungwon laughed again, this time more softly. He raised his hand and pulled a lock of hair from your face. His touch was light, but enough to hold your breath.

«All right,» he said, in a strangely gentle tone. "Perhaps I’ll let you choose how you want to thank me. But remember, princess, I never forget.»

With those words, he finally left and returned to snooping.

Jungwon was still looking around, moving like a curious cat, when his gaze fell on the couch. Without thinking too much, he dropped with a soft thud, stretching as if he were the master of the house. «Nice and comfortable here," he commented nonchalantly.

You were staring at him with your arms crossed, trying to keep a serious tone. "I didn’t invite you to get comfortable, you know."

He ignored you as his eyes were set on a book left on the pillow next to him. With disarming speed, he grabbed it.

«Let’s see what our princess reads,» he said, flipping through the pages.

"No! Give it back!" you exclaimed, approaching quickly.

But it was too late. Jungwon read aloud one of the most sappy passages in the book, imitating an overly sweet voice. "And he stared at her intensely, unable to resist the temptation to kiss her..."

You suddenly blush, embarrassed. "Stop it, give me back now!"

Jungwon burst out laughing.

«I never thought you were a fan of romantic novels. Aren’t you the one with the study books?»

You came to grab the book, but he pushed it away, holding it high above his head. "Jungwon, I told you to give it back!"

In an attempt to catch him, you swerved, falling on him on the couch. Both of you ended up lying down, you on top of him, the forgotten book on the ground.

For a moment everything seemed to stop. You looked up and met his feline eyes, so close that he could see every detail of their depth.

With a slow gesture, he raised his hand and stroked your cheek, the thumb that touched your skin with disarming delicacy. «Soft,» he murmured, almost in silence, as if he was making an incredible discovery.

Your heart was beating fast, and your face turned even more red. "J-Jungwon..."

He slightly tilted his head, his gaze curious and fascinated. Then, with a speed that caught you by surprise, he made you a slight tickle on your hips, making you burst into an involuntary laugh.

"Hey!" you protested in laughter, trying to move, but Jungwon kept teasing you with that funny smile.

«I like your laugh», he said, stopping at last. His voice was warm and low, and for a moment the atmosphere among you changed.

Before you could say anything, Jungwon leaned slightly towards you, his feline movements controlled. Then, with a confidence that seemed to leave no room for doubt, he laid his lips on yours.

The kiss was soft, but firm. There was no hurry, just a gesture full of respect and curiosity. You felt his big hands leaning around your back to hold you closer to him and with a sigh you let his tongue enter your mouth; It was the best kiss you had ever had and Jungwon looked so good at everything he did and you felt the heat of the contact immediately that broke down all resistance.

When you left, Jungwon smiled at you, his eyes shining with something you still couldn’t define. «Now I can consider myself thanked,» he muttered, the mischievous tone but strangely sweet.

Jungwon looked at you with a smile that mixed mischievousness and tenderness. «You know, I must admit,» he said in that witty tone that you now knew well, «you’re quite good at kissing, princess.»

You opened your eyes wide, the redness immediately rising to your cheeks. "Jungwon!" you protested, lightly hitting him on the shoulder.

He laughed, the low and relaxed sound that always seemed to make fun of you, but in a surprisingly affectionate way. Before he could fight back, he wrapped an arm around your waist and gently pulled you to himself, causing your head to rest on his neck.

«Then relax,» he muttered, as he slowly stroked your back.

Part of you couldn’t help but wonder: How can I feel safe with him? Jungwon was everything that represented chaos, risk, and defying the rules. Yet there, in his arms, was a calm you could not explain.

«Do you feel safe?» he asked you as if he had read your mind.

You did not answer immediately, clenching your fingers against the fabric of his shirt. At the end, you whisper, with a thread of voice: "It makes no sense, but yes."

Jungwon smiled, and his warm breath tickled your hair. «Maybe because I’m less dangerous than you think.»

Before you could answer, Jungwon moved slightly, breaking contact. He stood up, stretching with a grace that seemed almost feline. «But now I must go.»

You looked at him, still sitting on the sofa. "Doing... illegal things?" you asked, your voice a little jokey but also a bit serious.

He laughed softly, shaking his head. «In a way yes. I have to do something very illegal for the human being, imposed from above.»

You stared at him, confused. "What?"

«Study», he replied with a sly smile.

You blinked, incredulous. "Study?"

Jungwon nodded, putting his hands in his pockets. «Right. You don’t seem convinced.»

"I’m not," you admitted. "You... study? Really?"

«Of course. I study law.»

His words left you breathless. "Law?" you repeated, incredulous. "You? The boy who runs illegally and seems to ignore every rule... Do you study law?"

Jungwon laughed again, amused by his reaction. «I know, I know. It seems a contradiction, doesn’t it? But what can I do? I have a passion for rules. Only I prefer to decide when and how to follow them.»

You stared at him, trying to process that new information. "You are... a living contradiction."

«Interesting,» he smiled maliciously at you. Then, he slightly bowed his head. «And you are adorable when you are confused. See you, princess.»

And with those words, he left, leaving you sitting on the sofa staring at the door. And you thought that Jungwon was a riddle that you didn’t know how to solve yet.

After days of life seemed back to normal, you were immersed in your journalism studies, trying to forget the chaos that Jungwon had brought into your life. You were focused, determined to keep your head on her future, away from distractions.

But when your colleague at the university newspaper asked you to write a piece about clandestine racing, you suddenly found yourself back in the center of that world from which you had tried to get away.

'Are you sure you want to do it?' asked the colleague. 'It doesn’t seem like your environment.'

You raised your chin, determined. "I can do it. I’ll go with my best friend, no problem."

And so, that Saturday night, you found yourself again immersed in the racket noise. The pre-race was a chaotic party: deafening music, neon lights that illuminated the improvised track, people laughing and drinking everywhere. Your best friend, she seemed perfectly comfortable, but you don't.

Despite everything, you took your notebook and you started working. You had to do a detailed report, so you started to observe the machines and transcribe nicknames, technical notes, and the general atmosphere.

"The Panther" had a black and shiny livery, and "The Eagle" a silver car that seemed to slip in the air. Each pilot had a nickname, an identity that made them bigger than life.

But when your gaze was set on a machine unmistakable, your heart stopped. It was there, in all its glory: the hood painted with shiny stripes that reminded of claw scratches, and the name he had already heard whispered by Jay: The Wildcat.

Next to the car was him. Jungwon.

Your heart sped up when you saw it. Lying nonchalantly beside the car, he wore a dark leather jacket left unlaced, revealing a tight-fitting T-shirt that highlighted his dry physique. The messy hair looked even softer in the neon light, and the cat eyes shone with a mix of challenge and fun. He was not alone. Three, maybe four girls were standing near him, laughing and flirting openly. One of them had put a hand on his arm, and he didn’t seem at all annoyed.

The pen you held in your hand stopped. You felt a wave of conflicting emotions: annoyance, jealousy, irritation, and that bit of insecurity that you could never get away from when it came to confronting other girls.

'Are you all right?' asked your bff, noticing your sudden silence.

"Yes," lying, looking down, and pretending to take notes in your notebook.

Jungwon seemed perfectly in his element. Every movement and every smile seemed to be designed to attract attention, and it worked perfectly. Everyone was watching him, and he knew it.

When one of the girls came closer to him, laughing and putting a hand on his chest, you felt yourself burning inside. You turned, pressing the notebook against your chest. It shouldn’t have mattered. It didn’t.

But then, as if he had felt your gaze even amid the chaos, Jungwon looked up and saw you.

His smile stopped for a moment. The feline eyes were fixed on you, curious and perhaps surprised.

You held your breath, unable to look away.

Then, Jungwon’s smile returned, slower and deeper. She pulled away from the car and stepped over to you, the girls who were quietly protesting about the sudden lack of attention.

You were juggling between the machines, trying to ignore the knot of emotion that had formed in his stomach after seeing Jungwon. You kept taking notes in his notebook, writing down details about the race, the drivers, the nicknames... but your heart could not calm down.

You were focused on describing a car with a fiery red livery when suddenly you heard a hand grab your notebook. You slammed your eyes and you saw it.

Jungwon was there, a few steps away from you, with that cat-like look in his eyes that seemed to be light inside. His eyes shone with mischief and amusement, and his lips curled in a sneering smile. «Hey, princess,» he said goodbye, holding the notebook carelessly in her hand. «I missed something or are you trying to write a book about us?»

"Give it back, Jungwon. I’m working."

He slightly tilted his head, studying it. «Working, eh? You didn’t find a minute to come and say hello? All the other girls did it.» His voice was a mixture of provocation and challenge.

You’re sticking your jaw, trying to keep calm. "I didn’t come here to make friends, Jungwon. I have other things to do."

Your words made him smile. He leaned slightly towards you, your eyes straight in his. «Let me guess... Are you jealous?»

You blinked, surprised by her question. Then you sat down, raising your chin with determination. "Not. Why should I be jealous?"

Jungwon stared at you for a moment, his smile widening as if he were having a great time. «I don’t know, but usually the girls who look at me like that have something to say.»

You get stiff, feeling your face getting warmer and warmer. "I wasn’t looking at you in any way. I have other things to think about."

He laughed softly, a sound that seemed to wrap her like a caress. «Sure, princess. As you wish.»

You ripped the notebook out of his hands. "Stop calling me that. And let me do my job."

Jungwon pulled back, raising his hands in surrender, but his smile did not fade. «All right, all right. But don’t take it too hard. You know where to find me if you change your mind.»

And with a last look that seemed to promise trouble, he turned around and returned to his car.

The race was a whirlwind of emotions. You were with Jay and your bff, watching the chaos of cars sprinting under the spotlight. The engines were roaring, and the adrenaline felt palpable in the air. Jungwon was third, fighting ferociously to reach the podium and win that prize which meant more than just money.

You couldn’t deny that she was nervous. Every tight turn, every overtake, every calculated risk made her hold her breath. The gaze was instinctively set on Jungwon’s car, recognizable by its aggressive stripes and proudly painted number.

But then it happened.

The Panther made an illegal move. A sharp cut to the trajectory, too close to be a simple mistake. Jungwon’s car skidded, losing control, and went off the track with an impact that made the silence in the air resound. No one laughed, no one spoke.

"Damn it!" cursed Jay, sprinting into the pit area to see what had happened to Jungwon. You looked for Jungwon, but he was as if disappeared, swallowed up by the darkness of the track. The crowd around you had already started to celebrate, shouting for Heeseung, Sunghoon, and the Panther’s victory as the spotlight turned on the winners.

You were lost. You couldn’t think of anything but the car that was off the track and the guy driving it. Where was Jungwon? Was he all right?

"Hey," a deep voice brought you back to reality.

You turned around and saw a boy coming towards you. It was the pilot of the Panther, the one who caused the accident.

"What is a pretty girl doing here with a notebook in her hand?" he asked, looking at you with interest.

"I’m working," you replied coldly, holding the notebook to my chest. "I’m a journalist, I have to write about the race."

He laughed, a sound that had nothing genuine. "A journalist, eh? Well, maybe you could write a piece about me. You know, I’m the star of the night."

You stared at it, the obvious annoyance on your face. "I don’t think I’ll write about who plays dirty to win."

The boy’s smile cracked slightly, but before he could answer, a movement behind him caught both of their attention.

«I don’t think he wants to write about you,» said a familiar, low, and tense voice.

Jungwon was there. Hair sprawled, a small wound on the eyebrow that bled slightly, and an expression that promised trouble.

The Panther’s pilot smiled, raising his hands in surrender. "Oh, there it is. I thought you were still licking your off-piste wounds."

He didn’t have time to finish the sentence. Jungwon advanced with a lightning move and punched him straight in the face. The boy staggered back, a hand to his nose.

«If you want to win, do it playing clean» growled Jungwon, his voice low but full of anger.

Stood still, my heart beating like a bat. You had never seen Jungwon so full of fury and determination.

He turned to you, his feline eyes staring at you with an intensity that made you hold your breath.

«Is everything okay?» he asked you, his voice suddenly quieter.

You are slow and unable to formulate a response. He watched you for a moment longer, then turned to the pilot of the Panther, who was still recovering.

«Never come near her again,» said Jungwon, his voice dangerously low. And with those words, he took your hand and led you away from the crowd, leaving chaos behind.

You found yourself catapulted into the car of Jungwon, almost without realizing how it happened. He was furious, his face tense and his cat eyes shone with a disturbing intensity. His hands held the steering wheel tightly, and the silence in the car was broken only by the soft hum of the engine.

You look around nervously, trying to figure out where you are going. You did not dare to speak, but you could not ignore the charged energy that was breathed into the air.

In the end, Jungwon stopped in a poorly lit parking lot, away from the chaos of the race and the festivities. He turned off the engine but said nothing for a moment. He ran his hand through his hair, visibly irritated, and then turned to you, approaching dangerously.

«What the hell were you thinking, Y/n?» he growled, his voice low but full of anger.

You stared at him, confused and slightly intimidated. "I... was working. I just asked questions and took notes for the piece I have to write."

Jungwon came even closer, his eyes peering at you. «Working? With that ridiculous little skirt and the top that leaves everything in sight? Where is the good girl I kissed the other day?»

You looked at him, surprised and irritated by her reaction. "Sorry?! What’s the matter, Jungwon? It’s not your concern what I’m wearing. And, for your information, I’m still the same person, even if I don’t dress like a nun to come to these stupid races!"

He raised an eyebrow, the sneer smile returning to his face. «Ah, so now you like to be a rebel? Interesting.»

"It’s not about rebellion!" you broke off with your arms crossed. "And stop judging me. It’s you who runs illegally, not me."

For a moment, Jungwon stared at you in silence, then his smile went out, and his gaze became more serious. «I don’t want you to get into trouble. Not with people like that, and certainly not in a place like this."

You were silent, struck by the sincerity in her voice, but you didn’t want to give it up. "I’m not a child, Jungwon. I can take care of myself."

Now your faces were a few inches apart. «You don’t understand, do you? It’s not just about looking after yourself. I can’t stand the idea that someone else could even look at you like that guy did.»

You suddenly felt confused and vulnerable under his intense gaze. "Jungwon..."

But he didn’t give you the time. With a strong gesture, he took you by the face and kissed you, his lips pressing against yours with overwhelming confidence, but not without sweetness. It was a kiss that spoke of unresolved emotions, confusion, and desire.

You stood still for a moment, but then you let go, returning the kiss. You didn’t know what that meant, but at the time, in his arms, you felt inexplicably safe, even though Jungwon represented everything he had to avoid.

The anger, tension, and that strange, irresistible attraction that Jungwon seemed to be kindling in you all exploded at once. You grabbed him by the collar of the shirt and pulled him towards you, kissing him again with more passion, as if you wanted to make him understand once and for all how confused she was, but also how lost you were for him.

Your hands trembled as they sat on Jungwon’s sculpted chest. You felt the muscles twitch under your fingers as if he was struggling to keep control. The heat emanating seemed to burn her skin, but she did not want to stop.

Between one kiss and the next, he pulled away slightly, his lips still dangerously close to hers. «Wait,» he muttered, with a smile that seemed to hide a thousand secrets. «Move slightly from the seat.»

You looked at him, confused, as he moved swiftly into the passenger seat. She pointed with a sure nod to his lap. «Sit here.»

You stared at him with wide eyes, heart pounding in your chest. "Jungwon, we’re in public..."

He chuckled, the sound low and incredibly charming. «Nobody is watching us. And even if they did... who cares? Trust me.»

After a moment of hesitation, you moved in embarrassment, and you sat on his legs. Your arms instinctively clenched around Jungwon’s neck, as he laid his hands on his hips, holding you firmly against him.

«See?» he whispered, in a tone that had a disarmingly sweet sweetness. «There is nothing to be afraid of.»

He, on the other hand, seemed comfortable, but there was something in his eyes that betrayed a darker depth. His fingers began to trace little circles on your hips, and his smile became more intense.

«You’re so beautiful,» he said, his tone suddenly serious, as he stared at you as if you were the only thing that mattered to him in the world. «You don’t realize what you’re doing to me, do you?»

You shook your head slightly, unable to find the words.

He tilted his head, his gaze becoming darker but at the same time incredibly sweet.

«I don’t want anyone to look at you the way I do. Is that a problem?»

"Jungwon..." you mumbled, but he didn’t give her time to continue.

He drew his lips to your ear like a kitten huddled in its den, sank his face against his neck, inhaled your scent, squeezed you tighter, and began kissing you and making little pacifiers.

«You are so sensitive,» he murmured, as he heard how you tried to deny the moans of pleasure. «I love to see how you react to me, I bet no one has made you feel like this in your life, princess.»

This time she touched the edge of your lace panties slightly.

"Jungwon.... not here," You said as you felt his big fingers sear your panties.

Your words seemed to light something in Jungwon. His smile grew wider and more dangerous, and a bad boy’s flash lit up his face. «Oh, princess» he whispered, tilting his head slightly as his hands slid into her life. «I want everything of you... but I’m not sure I can wait.»

Before you could answer, his fingers moved with an exasperating slowness under your skirt, and he began to draw light circles as you felt that slowly you were already excited for him. You held your breath, feeling the heat that spread throughout your body.

Jungwon, amused by your reaction, drew little circles with his fingers, stroking the slightly moist fabric. «So wet»

You whispered in a tone that mixed sweetness and provocation. «Is this all for me?»

You nodded weakly with your face becoming increasingly red.

He came near your ear again, letting his warm breath caress her skin. «I would like to take everything of you now, but not in this car. Not like that. You deserve more.»

Despite his words, he did not stop at all. He started touching your pussy but a grin formed on his face and looked as if there was someone outside and with a strong movement touched the lever that was under the seat and lowered it. «Lie down Y/n, I will make you feel good while I kneel.» Jungwon laid you down in the seat and began to slide his hands on one of your legs, lifting it to leave a kiss trail up to your thigh, Stopping occasionally to admire your soft skin that was illuminated by the moon and the intense look you were throwing at him. «I promise you that I will make you feel so good, you can’t be touched by any boy from today»

He moved his head under the skirt took the piece of your panties between his teeth and slowly pulled it down, moaning audibly as he watched a series of excitement drip from your heart. His cock was already pulsing in his pants but today he just wanted to make you feel good, there would be other opportunities that he would be well.

You looked at him a lot embarrassed but also extremely excited when you saw him with your panties in your mouth and pulled his hair and carried him back down into your pussy.

"Jungwon, I’m... you can lick it pls» Jungwon started laughing and tricked his tongue on your inner thigh, capturing your excitement on his tongue. «Fuck, baby, you’re so good. Let me eat your pretty pussy» You slightly widened your thighs and moaned instantly when he licked and licked, without even thinking about it, before reaching his hand behind you with his arms stretched out to pull you closer, guiding your hips down with force "Jungwon," you panicked. Your brain got a little confused as it pushed your thighs away, then lifted them up and away so that you could bury your face deeper between them. «Look at you, you’re getting your pussy licked in the middle of nowhere by the only guy you find irritating»

Jungwon took a second to smile at you, stroking your slimy thigh with his cheek, and pressing a small lingering kiss on your warm skin. His tongue was hot and wet against your pussy, practically melting against your folds, making long and deliberate passes up to your clitoris before you concentrate on it and suck it with a fervor that sent waves of pleasure.

Unable to hold your voice, you began to emit gasping and stuttering moans, unintentionally lifting yourself into his mouth as he licked and sucked your clitoris, feeling your cheeks burning more and more long he looked into your eyes.

"I am... oh my God, please" greedily caress your clitoris pulsing in quick and deliberate circles with the thumb, automatically bringing two fingers to your pussy, your greedy hole sucked them up to your knuckles, without hesitating to push them in and out of you. Once your legs hooked to her waist, she quickened and pumped the rhythm of her fingers, your moisture now so palpable that it was beginning to leak out of you.

«Come princess, only for the wildcat» you exhaled, licking your lips and savoring the remains of yourself on your tongue, Striking him in a way that made you fight the urge to let your eyes roll down to the bottom of your skull and come between his fingers and with a gesture he took her to his mouth and sucked her as if it were the best thing in this world.

Yes, he got up slightly and felt his cock and balls extremely tight and hard in the pants but it was worth it, he had just made the "good girl" come off the university and knew that she would think for not how long to this episode of him bowing to her to suck their pussy.

You had spent a few nights writing your piece, trying to maintain a balance between your natural contempt for the illegality and that subtle attraction for the adrenaline-fuelled world that you had discovered recently. In the end, you delivered your article to the local newspaper, knowing that it would create a sensation, especially among the pilots.

You described the atmosphere in vivid words, talking about the roar of engines, the smoke from tires on the asphalt, and people who seemed to live only for those moments.

Extract from the article:

"There is something irresistibly hypnotic about seeing those riders challenge everything and everyone, putting their lives on the edge of a razor for a ride of glory. But despite the obvious danger and illegality, I can not deny that I also felt the heartbeat accelerate, the shiver of every curve taken to the limit. It’s a world that makes you want more, even when you know you shouldn’t."

You also mentioned the most famous pilots, dedicating a part of his article to the young and mysterious Wildcat:

"Among the many, one stands out for his early talent and rebellious attitude: Wildcat. At just 20, he has shown a mastery of the steering wheel that defies logic. But it’s not just his ability that makes him interesting: there is an energy in him, an aura that makes him unmatched. Despite his age, he drives like he was born to do it, and there’s a dangerous confidence in his feline eyes that makes you wonder what lies behind that provocative smile. Who knows if, behind the bad boy mask, there is something more... is a bad boy as everyone says or is different with the people he loves?"

Jungwon, sitting on the couch at home, had read the article carefully. The newspaper folded on his knees, his eyes shone with a strange combination of annoyance and amusement.

'So he thinks I’m hiding something, eh?' he murmured to himself, "And it describes that adrenaline so well... Maybe she’s not so different from me after all.'

Then he stopped to read another part:

"It is clear that risk is an integral part of this world, but perhaps this is what makes it so irresistible. Once you enter, it’s hard to get out of it, especially when you meet people who seem made for living without rules. And although I do not share this lifestyle, I cannot deny that there is something fascinating about observing those who are not afraid to challenge any limit."

Jungwon laughed slowly, was it perhaps a hint of what happened in the car between the gold two the other day?

'Good girl, eh?' mumbled. 'You’re so convinced that you don’t want to be part of this world, but underneath I know you like it. And I’m the only one who can take you beyond that limit, Y/n

He decided that he could not let go of the matter. He had to see her, tease her personally, and above all make her understand that no one could talk about him in that way without suffering the consequences.

You had just come out of the shower and heard the bell ring. Your best friend was not in, and you were not expecting anyone. And on the screen of the video intercom was: Jungwon, with the folded newspaper in his hand and that dangerous smile you now recognized too well.

You opened the door, trying to keep calm. "What are you doing here?" You asked, crossing my arms.

Jungwon didn’t answer immediately, just entering with a disarming security. «So you wrote an article about the bad boys of the city Y/n? Pleased with the comments you received?» He said in a low, sharp voice, waving the newspaper before you.

"It’s just my job," you replied, trying to keep a professional tone.

Jungwon chuckled and slowly approached, leaning slightly towards you until your faces were a few inches away. «No one speaks of me in this way. Not even you.»

You instinctively backed away, but he followed you, the paper still in his hand, his eyes shining with an intensity that made her tremble. «Wildcat, eh? Feline eyes, dangerous smile... tell me, were you writing or fantasizing about me? what is it you missed already my touch?»

"Don’t get your head in the sand, Jungwon. I just brought the truth."

«Truth?» he repeated with a grin, getting even closer. «And what is the truth? That you like this world? That you like what I make you feel?»

You felt trapped, and your heart was beating too fast. "I... I don’t..."

Before you could finish the sentence, Jungwon dropped the newspaper on the counter and took you by the side, lifting you up easily and making you sit on the kitchen island. He stood between your legs, his eyes fixed on his.

«Spare me the apology,» you whispered, his voice full of desire and a touch of possession. «I know exactly what you’re trying to hide. It’s in your eyes every time you look at me.»

You tried to talk, but before you could say a word, Jungwon leaned over and kissed you with an overwhelming passion. His hands seized your hips with force, pulling you even closer as if he wanted to erase all distance.

The kiss was different from the previous ones: there was not only passion but also a kind of affirmation. He wanted you to know that you were his, that no one else could get close to you like he did. «Never again write about me in that way,» he whispered against her lips, her voice low and hoarse. «I don’t want anyone else to know how good I am at making you feel this way. This is just for us.»

Jungwon caressed your face sweetly, a striking contrast to his possessive grip on your hips.

You felt his fingers trace the skin of your hips under your shirt until it reached the breast that was completely uncovered because you had just washed, His fingers were slightly cold to contact your breast and Bud tickled you and made you slightly arch your back. «You are already so sensitive to me and i touched you only with a finger what will happen when you fuck princess?» Jungwon took off your shirt and started kissing you and tickling your breasts, your poor nipples were turgid and with one hand he held you still and with the other, he massaged you alternating to tighten your left breast. He sucked you as if he was obsessed with your breast but had other things for the head that he wanted to do, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him and he with one hand ran through your leg from the knee to the inside of the thigh, making you lose breath, a smug smile took shape on his lips as he tilted his head watching your reaction as his fingers approached your core, the tips traced him around your pajamas shorts and groans at the touch of his fingers around your core still dressed.

"Jungwon...I need" Your hand moved to touch his cock through the pants of the suit, making him moan, pulled down your pajama shorts, and when he saw that you already had your panties slightly wet a grin set up on his face, «God, already so fucking wet for me» and you kept massaging his cock, and I also took him off in his pants and made him spread a little 'the stain of the pre-ejaculate in his boxer shorts.

He took you in his arms as you kissed and kissed, and brought you to your room and laid you gently by the edge of your bed, you were perfect for him, It was months that he dreamed of fucking you and having you all to himself and finally came the time to see that the good girl who everyone loved at university was not so much a good girl when she was with him. He quickly removed your panties and his fingers finally touched your clitoris, winding around the bundle of nerves, throwing it every time you moved your hips trying to get more friction; «look at you, you are already so eager to have my fingers around you, where has the good girl gone?» You groaned and tried to move easily but Jungwon as usual was teasing you.

"Jungwon, stop being like that. We both know that underneath you were pleased with that article" Jungwon looked at you with serious eyes and without saying anything two fingers entered your already sensitive core, making you shudder.

“Fuck, oh yeah!" Jungwon started pumping your fingers slowly though and you moved so much that you accidentally touched his cock in his boxer shorts with one hand he held you tight and with the other, he touched you but Jungwon had other plans with you.

«The other day in the car I made you come, now it’s your turn to show me what you can do, I really want to see if the good girls can be good with dicks» You looked at Jungwon slightly embarrassed and opened your mouth to the surprise of his words.

Choking a groan as his fingers curled inside you again. Your hands moved quickly to lower his boxer shorts, releasing his huge cock, making you open wide eyes but your mouth was even more flooding with desire for him.

Your hand quickly distributed the pre-seminal liquid, and your thumb gently moved it while you watched his reaction, smiling at seeing that you were making him enjoy only with his cock in hand, whimpering as he added a third finger, By widening even more. Your pussy was already sore and super sensitive by the overstimulation of his fingers and you kept on teasing their cock and sucking it "Jugwon, please" the guy in front of you laughed slowly and he also mooed something incomprehensible

and said: «What do you want, use that beautiful mouth you love to tease people to tell me what my princess wants» moaning loudly when he pumped all three fingers around your pussy it was beautiful but you wanted more.

"I want...I want you, pls" When he heard those words he let out his fingers and spread your legs and your pussy was super shiny, stimulated, and ready to take his dick. His tip only went in a little to drive you crazy, but there was not much you could do while he held your legs apart and on the edge of the bed. Your hands went into his hair, pulling it slightly as you watched Jungwon’s cock disappear inside your pussy, slowly driving you crazy.

It didn’t matter if you begged him he would take it his way, he quickly pulled out all his cock before you could even get used to it if he was back in full again, and repeated it a couple more times before his hand that had been on his member before, It would move on your clitoris making circular movements as it kept burying itself deep inside you and pulling everything out. Moaning, invaded your room and you pulled him even closer to you with the other hand he stroked your cheek and put his thumb in your mouth, and sucked it slightly

«good girl» Nodded while you felt his cock now in your stomach clothing you and it was a wonderful feeling to see Jungwon so lost of you and inside you.

«Look at you, I want you to look at me and groan my name as I hear you hold me with that sweet little pussy of yours, yes?» You nodded and groaned as it hit the exact point of your G-spot and felt the overstimulation of his thumb touching your now swollen clitoris.

«Come for me, come around me, be a good girl, and come all over my dick.»

"Jungwon, please...oh fuck!"

Your high quickly found you while he kept jumping inside of you looking for his release, and you felt his seed and his cum inside you gushing out of your pussy after a while he got rid of his cock around you and gave you little kisses in your neck and made you lie down in the bed and put on his shirt and went straight to get wet clothes to take off everything, the sticky sperm from your legs and after a little while he lay down next to you and hugged you and cuddled to you placing his head in your neck and leave you small kisses and light caresses.

«I hope it didn’t hurt, princess. I... I never felt these things for a girl and you» didn’t end up gently putting your lips on hers and he smiled at you.

"I have never had these feelings for anyone but Jungwon, i don't want this thing to be just for fun…”

Jungwon hugged you and held you close to him

«No, you have not for months now mine and you have not even realized it. This thing is not only for fun for me, I want to make it work because when I win I need my journalist of trust who describes me as his Wildcat!» You laughed and it was extremely true that you and Jungwon could not be so different but at the same time, you were complementary.

Comments and reblog are appreciated❤️

©cutehoons02 all rights reserved 2025.

[honeyhae-svt]

Hello i saw your wonwoo's headcanon when he falls for someone, can u do the same but for Shua pls? Thanks 🫶🏼

joshua's headcanon when he falls for someone (you)

joshua hong x gn!reader

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tags / genre: joshua x reader, seventeen fanfiction, slow burn romance, heartfelt confession, mutual pining, slice of life, fluff, soft romance, emotional connection, tender moments, reader insert ੈ✩‧₊˚ warnings: n/a (just lots of sweetness, soft feelings, and a lot of kisses. mwuahhh) ੈ✩‧₊˚ wc: 3124 (124-ilyyy) ੈ♡ a/n: 2/13 ! like i said, i will be making one for every member, but if you request it, i'll start on it asap. thankyou anon for requesting ! also maximize that volume of yours and play pretty u rn ! a pretty song for a pretty man whose name is joshua. he's honestly such a darling, i'd melt for him. ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Pretty U (Seventeen) ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮

ੈ♡˚ ༘ joshua's headcanon when he falls for someone

when joshua falls for someone, it’s like the warmth of sunlight gently breaking through a cloudy day—subtle but undeniable. he’s the kind of person whose love manifests through his kindness and thoughtfulness, making you feel special without overwhelming you.

joshua has a knack for noticing what makes you happy, and he’s quick to incorporate those little things into his actions. whether it’s remembering how you like your coffee, recommending a song he thinks you’ll love, or bringing you something that reminded him of you, his affection is all about showing how much he pays attention. he’s naturally charming, but when it comes to you, his charm has an extra layer of softness, like he’s trying to make sure you always feel comfortable around him.

in group settings, he’ll make an effort to ensure you feel included, casually steering conversations to your interests or gently teasing you in a way that draws you closer. he doesn’t overdo it; it’s all in the way he lingers just a little longer when you speak, or how his laugh sounds a bit more genuine when it’s you making the joke.

when joshua is in love, he has a way of balancing sweetness with calm confidence. he won’t rush things; instead, he lets his feelings unfold naturally. he’s patient, preferring to let the connection build over time, but that doesn’t mean he’s passive. you’ll find him initiating small, meaningful moments—asking to walk you home, offering to help with something even when he doesn’t have to, or just sitting with you in silence when words aren’t needed.

joshua is a firm believer in communication, but he might hold back on fully confessing until he’s sure the timing is right. he’s a romantic at heart, so when he does tell you how he feels, it’s with thought and intention. maybe it’s under the stars, or during a quiet moment when it’s just the two of you, and he says something like, “i wasn’t sure how to say this, but you’ve been on my mind more than you realize.”

when joshua is jealous, it’s quiet and understated—he’s not one to get possessive, but he can’t help the subtle furrow of his brows or the way he stands a little closer to you. he’s protective in a gentle, non-obtrusive way, always making sure you know he’s there for you without needing to draw attention to it.

with joshua, falling in love feels safe and warm, like coming home after a long day. he’s the type to remind you that love doesn’t have to be loud to be real—it’s in the small, consistent moments, the quiet support, and the way he makes you feel cherished without even trying. when he loves you, it’s steady and sincere, like he’s found something in you he’s never going to let go of.

it was late. joshua sat at the kitchen table, his hands wrapped around a warm mug of tea that he’d barely touched. the light above cast a soft golden glow, and though the room was calm, his heart wasn’t.

you were sitting across from him, cross-legged on the chair, scrolling through your phone with an occasional laugh escaping your lips. joshua glanced at you, the corners of his mouth lifting in a fond smile before he quickly looked away, hoping you wouldn’t catch him. it was becoming a habit lately—watching you when you weren’t looking, soaking in the way your presence made the world feel a little brighter.

“josh,” you called, pulling him from his thoughts. “what’s with that smile? did i miss something funny?”

he blinked, startled, and laughed softly, shaking his head. “nothing. just thinking.”

“thinking about what?” you pressed, leaning forward, your curious eyes meeting his.

he hesitated, swirling the tea in his mug as if the answer lay at the bottom. how was he supposed to explain what he was thinking? that the way your nose crinkled when you laughed made his chest feel too tight? or that the way you casually said his name felt like the softest melody?

“just stuff,” he finally replied, his voice gentle but evasive.

you narrowed your eyes at him, unconvinced. “that’s vague, even for you.”

joshua chuckled, setting the mug down. he loved how you weren’t afraid to call him out, how you always pushed for more when you knew he wasn’t being entirely honest. “alright, you caught me,” he admitted, leaning back in his chair. “i was thinking about you.”

the way your eyes widened and a faint blush dusted your cheeks made his stomach flip. it was a bold thing to say, and he wasn’t even sure where he’d found the courage. but once the words were out, he didn’t regret them.

“me?” you asked, your voice softer now.

he nodded, his gaze steady but warm. “yeah. you’ve been on my mind a lot lately.” he paused, watching the way you fiddled with the hem of your sleeve, the way you looked down as if trying to hide your own smile. “i don’t know how to say this without sounding cheesy, but… i think i like you. a lot more than i should.”

your head shot up at his words, eyes wide with surprise. for a moment, joshua worried he’d misread things, that maybe the connection he felt wasn’t mutual. but then, slowly, you smiled—a soft, shy smile that made his heart race.

“you’re not the only one who’s been thinking about someone,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

his breath caught. “really?”

you nodded, your fingers nervously tapping the table. “i didn’t know how to bring it up, but… i like you too, joshua. probably more than i should.”

the tension in his chest eased, replaced by an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness. he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as he reached across the table, his hand brushing against yours. “well, that’s a relief,” he said with a small laugh. “i was starting to think i’d have to spend another hour working up the courage to say something.”

you laughed too, your fingers curling around his. “guess i saved you the trouble.”

the two of you sat there, hands intertwined, a quiet warmth settling between you. for joshua, it wasn’t the moment he confessed that stood out the most—it was this. the way you looked at him, the way your hand fit perfectly in his, and the way the silence felt full instead of empty.

in that moment, he realized love wasn’t something that needed to be rushed or dramatized. sometimes, it was as simple as sitting across from someone who made your world feel a little less lonely, and knowing they felt the same way.

ੈ♡˚ ༘ kisses and cuddles with joshua

joshua is naturally gentle and thoughtful when it comes to physical affection. he’s the type to wait until the moment feels just right, never rushing or forcing anything. he thrives in the little things—the brush of your fingers, the way your shoulder leans against his, or the quiet moments when your laughter makes him smile without meaning to.

one evening, you’re both sitting on the floor in his apartment, surrounded by half-empty mugs of tea and a mess of polaroids and postcards spread out in front of you. the soft hum of a playlist fills the space, his voice occasionally cutting through as he shares stories behind each photo.

you catch him watching you as you laugh at a particularly ridiculous story, his gaze lingering longer than usual. joshua isn’t one to overthink, but there’s something about the way you look so at ease—like you belong in every corner of his life—that makes his chest ache in the best way.

he doesn’t realize how close you’ve shifted until your knee brushes against his, and even then, he doesn’t move away. instead, his hand moves almost instinctively, his fingers lightly tracing the edge of one of the photos near your leg. it’s subtle, but you feel it: the shift in the air, the quiet closeness that doesn’t need words.

"what?" you ask, raising a brow when you notice his silence.

"nothing," he replies, a small smile tugging at his lips. but the way he says it—the soft timbre of his voice—makes you feel like it’s everything.

ੈ♡˚ ༘ the first kiss the first kiss happens when neither of you expects it, but it feels so natural that it doesn’t catch you off guard.

you’re walking together late at night, bundled up against the chill. the city is quiet, with only the occasional glow of streetlights and the crunch of snow under your feet. he’s telling you about something—his words soft and warm like the scarf wrapped around your neck.

when you stop to admire the way the snow glitters under the lamplight, he pauses too, standing just behind you. joshua doesn’t rush to fill the silence. instead, he watches as your breath fogs in the air, your head tilted slightly upward.

he doesn’t think about it too much—he’s not the type to overanalyze. he simply steps closer, his fingers brushing yours before he turns you gently toward him. the way he looks at you is enough to make your heart stutter, his eyes carrying that quiet, unspoken affection he’s always held just below the surface.

when he leans in, it’s slow, as if he’s giving you every chance to stop him. but you don’t. his lips meet yours softly, a tentative but deliberate press, warm against the cold of the night. it’s the kind of kiss that lingers long after it ends, the kind that makes you forget about the cold entirely.

when he pulls back, there’s a faint pink dusting his cheeks, though whether it’s from the cold or the moment, you’re not sure. “sorry,” he murmurs, though the smile tugging at the corner of his lips betrays him.

"don’t be," you reply, and he laughs softly, his breath visible in the winter air.

ੈ♡˚ ༘ cuddles with joshua cuddling with joshua feels like wrapping yourself in a blanket of warmth and quiet reassurance. he’s not overly clingy, but he has this way of making every touch feel intentional and meaningful.

it starts small—like when you’re sitting together on the couch, his arm draped casually along the back. as time goes on, he’ll pull you closer, until you’re tucked against his side, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on your arm. he’s the type to hum quietly or ask about your day, his voice low and soothing.

on lazy mornings, you’ll find him lying on his back, one arm stretched out as if waiting for you to crawl into the space beside him. when you do, he’ll pull you closer, his hand resting against the small of your back. his touch is gentle, never hurried, as if he has all the time in the world to savor the moment.

sometimes, when he’s particularly tired or in need of comfort himself, he’ll rest his head on your shoulder, his arms loosely wrapped around your waist. he doesn’t say much during these moments, but the way he holds you speaks volumes.

his favorite way to cuddle, though, is lying side by side, your head resting on his chest. he’ll absentmindedly run his fingers through your hair or along your back, his breathing steady and calming. every now and then, he’ll press a soft kiss to your forehead, murmuring something sweet that makes your heart flutter.

with joshua, cuddling isn’t just about the physical closeness—it’s about the quiet, unspoken connection you share. it’s in the way he holds you like you’re the most precious thing in his world, and in the way his presence alone makes you feel at home.

┊ ➶ ｡✩‧₊˚ bonus joshua kisses with intention. everything he does has this thoughtful, deliberate quality to it, like he's not just kissing you—he’s showing you how much he cherishes you. his kisses are gentle yet firm, the kind that leave you feeling warm and safe, like you’re the only person in his world.

the first time he kisses you, it’s under the soft glow of the streetlights. you’re walking home together after a late-night outing, your laughter fading into the quiet hum of the night. joshua’s been stealing glances at you all evening, his usual soft smile lingering just a little longer than usual.

as you stop to admire the night sky, he hesitates for a moment, his hands tucked into his pockets. he stands a little closer to you than necessary, and when you turn to face him, there’s a flicker of nervousness in his gaze.

“you know…” he begins, his voice softer than usual, “i’ve been wanting to do this for a while.”

before you can even ask what he means, he steps closer, one hand gently brushing your cheek. his touch is featherlight, and the way his fingers curl around your jaw feels so tender that your heart skips a beat.

when his lips finally meet yours, it’s like the whole world quiets. the kiss is soft and slow, his lips moving against yours with the kind of care that feels almost reverent. it’s not about passion or urgency—it’s about the unspoken feelings he’s been carrying for so long.

as the kiss deepens, his other hand moves to your waist, pulling you just a little closer. his touch is steady, grounding you, as if he’s afraid to let go. you feel the warmth of his breath against your skin, the way his lips linger just long enough to leave you breathless.

“you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that,” he murmurs against your lips, his forehead resting gently against yours. his eyes are soft, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks, but there’s a hint of mischief in his smile. “and now that i have… i don’t think i’ll ever stop.”

from then on, joshua’s kisses become a quiet yet powerful expression of his affection.

on lazy afternoons, he’ll tilt your chin up with a finger, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your lips, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. when you’re feeling down, he kisses your forehead first, his lips lingering there before pulling you into a soft, lingering kiss that somehow makes everything feel okay again.

but when the moment calls for it—when it’s just the two of you, tucked away from the world—his kisses take on a new intensity.

one evening, you’re curled up together on the couch, a movie playing in the background that neither of you are paying attention to. joshua’s arm is draped over your shoulders, his fingers absentmindedly playing with your hair. you’re mid-sentence when he leans in, cutting you off with a kiss that catches you completely off guard.

this kiss is deeper, hungrier, but still carries that same sense of care that only joshua can give. his lips move against yours with an unspoken urgency, his hands gently cupping your face as if to keep you close. his thumb brushes against your cheek, his movements slow and deliberate, as though he’s savoring every second.

when he pulls back, his breathing is a little uneven, his cheeks flushed. his lips curve into a small, bashful smile as he gazes at you, his eyes filled with nothing but love.

“sorry,” he says softly, though there’s no regret in his tone. “i just… couldn’t help myself.”

and you can’t help but smile back, because with joshua, every kiss feels like a quiet confession of how deeply he cares for you.

⊹˚. what exactly are you to joshua?

to joshua, you’re not just a person—you're the person. the one who brightens his world effortlessly with your presence. you’re his muse, his source of quiet inspiration, and the reason he finds himself smiling even on the toughest days. to him, you’re someone who feels like home—comforting, warm, and safe, yet exciting in all the ways he didn’t realize he needed.

⊹˚. how joshua falls for you

joshua’s feelings for you come like a melody—soft, sweet, and so natural that he almost doesn’t notice it at first. it starts with the way you make him laugh, the way your eyes light up when you’re talking about something you love, and the way you get him without him needing to explain.

for joshua, falling for you isn’t an “aha” moment. it’s a collection of little things: the way you remember his favorite coffee order, the way you unconsciously hum while doing something, or the way you’re always genuinely kind to others.

he’s the kind of person who falls in love through shared moments—a late-night conversation under the stars, a quiet coffee date on a rainy day, or even just a random moment when he looks at you and thinks, "how did I get so lucky?"

example: one evening, as the two of you are walking home together after an impromptu late-night dessert run, you laugh at something he says, your voice echoing in the quiet night. joshua glances at you, the way your hair catches the moonlight, the crinkle of your eyes when you smile. that’s the moment he realizes: this is it. this is where I want to be—by your side.

when joshua confesses, it’ll be thoughtful and heartfelt, but never overwhelming. he doesn’t want to pressure you; he just wants you to know. maybe it’s after a casual hangout, when he walks you to your door and lingers a little longer than usual.

"i’ve been meaning to tell you something," he starts, his voice soft but steady. "i don’t know when it happened, but… you’ve become really important to me. like, more than just a friend. and i just thought you should know."

(ㅅ´ ˘ )♡ when joshua loves, it’s like a warm embrace—a constant presence that makes you feel cherished and appreciated. he’s attentive, always noticing the little things about you, and finding ways to make your life easier or happier.

he’s the kind of person who’ll send you random texts throughout the day, just to check in or make you smile. "hey, i heard this song, and it made me think of you. listen to it when you have a minute." or "don’t forget to eat something today, okay?"

he loves in ways that feel thoughtful and intentional—remembering your favorite flower and surprising you with it, or noticing when you’re stressed and planning a relaxing day for the two of you.

like when you’ve had a rough day, and you find him waiting at your doorstep with your favorite snacks and a playlist he made just for you.

and when you’re with him, you feel it in the way he looks at you—soft, tender, like you’re the only thing that matters in that moment. his love is steady and unwavering, a kind of comfort that feels like it was meant just for you.

his hand always seems to find yours, even in the smallest moments, as if it’s a silent promise that he’s there for you, no matter what. and when he kisses you, it’s soft but full of meaning, like he’s pouring everything he can’t say into that one moment.

joshua’s love feels like coming home, every single time.

ੈ♡ a/n: do check out the wonwoo version over here ! the next few updates will happen if there's a request on it ^^ if you want to know whether there would be any updates, just check out my seventeen masterlist and go to the headcanon section and there you will see which members has this "headcanon when he falls for someone (you)". thankyou and ilysm <3

[thegreatstoryteller]

The Great Shift: Awkward Tales - Vignette 2: Athletics Run in the Family

“Hey dad! Ready for that workout? I think this football jersey is getting a bit tight. Might need a new one later.” Kyle boomed as he bounded across the hall. The sound loud enough to cause his dad, Bill to jump!

“Oh uh… yeah sure Kyle. Maybe we skip the workout today. We could go shopping and get you new clothes.” Bill offered, gulping as he walked over to his towering son.

“Haha! Very funny dad. I know how you always said that every workout skipped, is a day wasted. I finally get it now! I just beat my PR for bench presses last week! Pretty sure I could do it again this week too if we keep at it! Now let’s go!” Kyle smiled and carried his dad to the car.

Bill sighed. Kyle wasn’t wrong. Before the great shift Bill was a retired amateur athlete. He never could quite go pro, but his passion for working out and fitness was always there. It was something he tried to inspire in his son Kyle, but it never took. Kyle was always more artsy. More sensitive. Less in the physical space and more in the mental. Bill didn’t even care that his son was interested in men, only that he tried some kind of athletic activity. Even as he was making his way through college Bill held on to hope that Kyle would find some athletic spark in his son. Something for them to bond over, but it never came… despite how many times he tried to force sports on to Kyle.

It turns out he should’ve been careful what he wished for. After the great shift, Kyle had landed into the body of a professional athlete, Dallas Turner. Now his one shrimpy son was a 6’5, 250lb titan of athleticism.  Suddenly, Kyle finally understood what his dad was talking about. Running around, lifting weights, hell even playing football. Kyle was in love! The consistent amount of fitness planning that Kyle had done in the 1 year since the great shift was more than he’d ever done in his entire life! And the results had shown! Kyle had gained over 10lbs of muscle since he’d got that body!

NFL scouts had even come around and asked him if he’d consider joining the league after he finished college! After all, a majority of former athletes were now in much smaller bodies that couldn’t play anymore. Kyle was considered a top prospect!

Meanwhile Bill was experiencing the opposite end. Where as Kyle had gotten huge from the shift, Bill was on the smaller end. Previously Bill was a proud 6’3, and now as a modest 5’0 he was seeing the world from a whole new perspective. Not only had he gotten significantly younger, now around the same age as his son, but he was not blessed with the same athletic disposition. Somehow most of his body was much smaller everywhere, but he maintained a bit of pudge around the belly, almost like a reminder of the beer belly he had once before. Only now smooth with no hair. 

Needless to say, it was clear that Bill’s new body was not built for physical activity. That didn’t stop Kyle from dragging his dad to every possible gym that was open post shift. Kyle loved testing the limits of his new strength. At first, Bill liked it too. Helping Kyle reach his physical potential is what he’d been waiting for ever since he had a son. However, the longer they worked out, the more tired Bill became. Not only from the actual exercise, but also from discovering his new sexuality at the gym with all the hot guys in the area.

Bill had gone from a sternly athletic father, to a nervous gay nerd quite quickly. His behavior became more shy and reserved. He began to understand more and more why Kyle liked things like music, art, and games compared to football. Most importantly he even understood why Kyle could never focus around his athletic peers. Every time Bill and Kyle went to the gym, Bill would get distracted after a new hunk began their workout! Kyle was too, but more so happy to show off his incredible new bod!

These thoughts raced through Bill’s mind as Kyle drove them to the gym! Bill could only hope that his secret crush was there. The handsome bearded bodybuilder was a large Arab man who was some sort of janitor in his previous life. Now this guy was second only to Kyle in the gym the more he worked out and showed of his manly body. Bill had already rubbed one out in the gym locker room thinking of him.

By the time they arrived Kyle got to working out as Bill went to refill their water bottles. Then as he joined the gym floor he was stunned to see Kyle talking to the big bearded gym crush!

“Hey dad! This is Amir! I said he could workout with us. It’ll be nice lifting with another huge guy who could keep up with my lifts. Maybe if I play my cards right with him I could invite him over for dinner.” Kyle gave his dad a confident wink.

“W-what?! I mean. Are you sure? You just met him and-” Bill sputtered as the large man came over and shook his hand. The young father was mortified. The guy he’d been obsessed with at the gym. Here? Now!? Talking to Kyle!?

Amir didn’t seem very interested talking to Bill. His banter was mostly with Kyle as they worked out. The two of them matching their routines and flexing at one another. Bill was practically seething with jealousy as Kyle and Amir tossed their sweaty workout towels at him. They were so lost in their workout and getting to know one another they'd completely forgotten about Bill.

“Hey it’s pretty nice of you to bring your little brother to workout.” Amir smiled as he spotted Kyle.

“Oh that’s my dad. He taught me everything I know about working out.” Kyle corrected, as Bill blushed.

“That so? I’ll have to thank him, because he sure made a handsome son. I hope he won’t mind seeing more of me. Especially if I’m gonna be seeing more of you.” Amir arched an eyebrow and smirked.

Bill’s hands were over his face. His son was gonna start dating his gym crush. It couldn’t get more awkward than this!

[rosenclaws]

Could I pleasssse request a smut/fluff fic with Logan where he secretly likes the reader and doesn't like the readers bf? The reader is in their early to mid twenties and has been best friends with Logan for years and he snaps one night when her bf is being an asshole 👀 thank you so much 😭

warnings: Angst to fluff, asshole boyfriend, he's mutant hating low key, threats, fighting

a/n: Hehehe i fucking LOVE a good jealousy fic, also I based the asshole ex on multiple asshole exes of my own lol.

Things were well and truly complicated. You always knew what being a mutant meant for your relationship life. Having to dip your toes into the water to see if they the kind of person who wanted your kind dead or if they were more open to the idea of mutants.

Even then you ran into all kinds of assholes. If you could even get past the first date then you'd have to drop the bomb that you work at a mutant school with mutant children. Safe to say your dating life was pretty empty.

"You here again sweetheart?" You roll your eyes when you hear Logan's voice. It's Friday night and you're sitting in the living room of the mansion with a root beer.

“Yeah, so are you.” You bite back. He just chuckles and takes a seat next to you. Spreading his legs until his knee knocks into yours.

“Weren’t you supposed to go out with that kid, what was his name Jacob or…”

“Jason. Yeah he canceled when he saw the pick up address.” You remember the absolute terrified voice he spoke to you in, afraid you were going to melt his bones through the phone or something.

“You really know how to pick em.” You shove Logans shoulder as he laughs.

“Fuck off, I don’t see you getting any action lately either.”

“That’s because I’m not interested in dating some stranger.” He grumbles.

Truth is Logan hasn't been interested in anyone except for you for a while now. Its been years and as pathetic as it sounds Logan was too afraid to say anything. But there's no reason to mess up a good thing right? Plus it's not like you've been showing any interest in him.

“Look, any guy would be lucky to have you sweetheart, you just need to find the right one."

"Feels like I've been searching forever. Feels like I should make a marriage pact or something." You say with a groan.

"A marriage pact?" "Logan questions.

"Yeah you know, if we haven't found someone by the time we're forty we just, get married."

"We?" Your eyes widen and you start to flounder. The last thing you want is for Logan to think you're a creep or something. It's not like you fantasize about Logan or anything. Totally not.

"Not you, I mean if you wanted to then sure but I was just talking hypothetically you know. I mean god could you imagine you and I?" The words tumble out of your mouth with no filter. You just can't stop yourself. Logan cocks and eyebrow and you pray for something, anything to happen to help you shut up.

"Yeah...hard to picture you and I" Logan's face hardens as he talks.

Like he thought before, you don't want him. You could just burst into flames right here and now. The tension is palpable. Logan has been your friend for a long time but he never fails to make you a little nervous. He shouldn't have this hold over you but god he's just so big and intimidating.

"You know what? We should go out." You say abruptly.

"What? Hey give that back!" You grab the beer out of his hand and he looks at you confused.

"It'll be fun please, I'll buy the first round." You offer and he thinks for a second.

"Fine."

You don't really know what drove you to want to come here. It was loud and crowded and you and Logan had gotten separated after the first drink. Maybe you just wanted to avoid the odd feelings you get whenever you're alone with him. Plus that last conversation was awkward as hell.

You sigh as you swirl your drink around. You spot Logan across the room. He's leaning against the wall while a very pretty red head is all in his space. Your heart clenches as you notice the cocky smile on his face and how he's not pushing her away. Guess someone is getting lucky tonight and it isn't you.

"Hey, couldn't help but notice a beautiful girl all by herself." You look to your side to see a guy slide into the seat next to you. He seems nice enough. He's cute and all.

"Oh I'm here with a friend." You say looking back at Logan.

"Yeah, he seems busy to me. The name's Carter. Let me buy you a drink, no strings attached I swear." He offers. You take one last look at Logan, that woman's hand snaking up his arm. Fuck it.

"Alright deal."

Things since that night have been, a little off. You went home with Carter after Logan had disappeared. Carter was nice enough, at least he was at first. He treated you nice, bought you flowers. He didn't care you were a mutant or that you worked at a mutant school. He was the perfect gentleman. For the first couple months.

It happened so slowly you didn't even notice at first. You spent less time at the mansion, instead now spending it with him. The kids started to miss you and so did your friends but you were happy and they were happy you were happy.

You rarely saw Logan anymore. Ever since you came home from the bar he had been avoiding you, or something. Carter would come by the mansion but his nice guy persona seemed to fade the more he spent with everyone. It didn't help that one of your students accidently lit him on fire once. That's when the fights started.

He didn't trust the kids there, said they were dangerous. He would tell you that he liked mutants but h was worried for your safety. And he really didn't like Logan. The first time the two of them met it ended in a fight on the car ride back to his place. Logan was a strong personality and the two men clashed.

Soon every time your job got brought up it ended in a fight. He'd talk bad about your students, about your friends, about Logan. Carter wanted to keep you away from there because he loved you but they were your family.

He loved you, you had to believe it was all because he loved you. I mean you had spent so long looking for a man who didn't care about your job or your mutant abilities and Carter was that guy. At least you thought he was. You won't find anyone better. Carter liked to say that. It's hard to come by someone who's okay with what you are. So you just had to believe he did it all because he loved you.

"Do we really have to go to this stupid thing? Can't we just stay in..." Carters hand snakes up your leg but you bat his hand away making him huff.

A pissed off look on his face as you drive to the mansion. It was a simple staff party but it had been too long since you got to relax with all your friends. Carter had insisted on coming along but right now you wish he had just stayed home, especially if he was going to complain the whole time.

"This is really important to me. We don't have to stay long I promise." You say in a cheerful tone but Carter just rolls his eyes.

"Whatever." It was exhausting. To Carter anything he wanted to do was fine but as soon as there was something you wanted to do it was a chore.

"Don't understand why you're so obsessed with being around these...people." He mumbles under his breath. Not this again. You plaster on a fake smile as you pretend you didn't hear him. He loves you for who you are right?

The party was in full swing by the time you get in. You greet your friends, trying to hide your feelings as Carter says something about getting a drink.

"You finally made it." You turn to see Logan standing behind you.

"Logan! Didn't expect to see you here." You tease. Parties were never Logan's thing.

"I heard you might show up, can't miss that now can I?" He opens his arms and you don't hesitate to hug him. You missed this. Your nights used to be filled with movie nights and late night snacking with Logan. It's been so long since you got to do any of that.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Logan clocks the fake smile immediately. He's noticed the ways you've changed. You're deflated, tired. It's all that assholes doing and he knows it.

"Yeah every things fine," Logans hands rest on your arms, he's about to press you a little further but Carter comes back.

"Hey man get your hands off my girlfriend." Carter almost seems to puff out his chest as if he was trying to appear bigger than Logan. Logan rolls his eyes.

"Calm down bub, just saying hi to my friend."

"Well she's my girlfriend."

"Yeah she's also a person not a fucking object." Logan growls and you step to get in between the two of them. The last thing you wanted was a fight right now.

"It was great seeing you again Logan." You smile as Carter wraps his hand around your wrist.

Logan reluctantly lets go of you as you're taken away by your boyfriend. He feels this anger burning inside of him. Every time he sees that bastard touch you he wants to rip off his damn arms. Every time he sees your smile fall or hears your fake laugh.

"Jealous much?" Scott comments, a smirk on his face as Logan turns to glare.

"I ain't jealous." Logan snaps as he stalks away.

Yes he is, he's very jealous. He's jealous that asshole is your boyfriend and not him. He's jealous that he's not the one who gets to hold you at night and call you his girl. But he was too late. So he's got no one to blame but himself.

Carter hadn't left your side since your moment with Logan. Normally you'd be happy about this but he was doing nothing but complain every chance he got.

"Can we just fucking go home already. You saw your little friends."

"It's barely been an hour Carter. All I asked for was this one thing! These people are my family would it kill you to try and act interested." You snap, finally fed up with his attitude. He scoffs and crosses his arm.

"I am trying. It's not my fault your family are freaks! Especially that fucking monster." He says with an extra glare towards Logan. Heads start to turn as he raises his voice.

"They're not freaks and don't call Logan that! He is not a monster!" You hiss. You've had it up to here with Carter. Everything you thought about him was crumbling down. If this is what love was then you'd rather be single.

"Of course you come to his defense. What are you fucking him on the side?" He spits.

Logan looks ready to pounce but he's being held back. If he could he'd maim this guy until he's nothing but blood and bones. He doesn't care what insult this guy spews his way but the second he disrespects you, all bets are off.

"He's my friend that's why I'm defending him. I will not let you talk about anyone of these people like that! You are nothing but a hateful asshole. You can go home and don't wait up because you're done."

You're seething with anger but there's a sense of relief that washes over you. You can feel every ones eyes on you but you don't care. You turn around to walk away but Carter grabs onto your wrist.

"Don't fucking walk away from me!" You wince at how hard he grabs you and that's when Logan snaps. Like an animal he's on Carter in an instant. Claws out and a murderous look on his face.

"Get your fucking hand off her before I slice it off." Whatever arrogance Carter had was gone in an instant. He lets go of your wrist and grabs at Logan's arm but Logan is unmoving.

"Listen here bub, you're going to get your sorry ass out of here and never come back." Logan leans in, just close enough that Carter is the only one who can hear his next words.

"If you even think of contacting her again I'll find you and I'll rip you limb from limb." Carter scrambles out of Logans grip and falls to the ground.

"You're all fucking insane." He yells as he runs out the door.

There's a weight that falls off your shoulders the second he's out of your sight. You let out a sigh as you turn to face everyone. Some of them were looking at you with pity and others were happy he was finally gone.

"I am, so sorry for ruining the party."

"You didn't ruin the party sugar, we're glad he's gone. Now we can really party." Rouge says with a smile, you're grateful for her as this breaks the awkward tension.

Things seem to go back to normal but you slip outside, not really feeling a party mood anymore. You hear the door open and foot steps behind you. A root beer is placed in front of you and you gladly take it. Wordlessly Logan takes the spot next to you. Man you can't remember the last time you got to sit down with Logan.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry." You say. He shrugs and throws an arm around you, pulling you closer.

"Nothing to be sorry for sweetheart, asshole had it coming." He takes a sip of his beer and you sigh, leaning a little closer to him.

"How could I be so stupid, things went south way before tonight. I just...didn't want to see it."

"Hey, you're not stupid. You were in love." Love makes you do a lot of things. Turn a blind eye or in Logan's case. Pretend like the feelings aren't even there.

"No I wasn't. Not really. I think...I was so afraid of never finding someone that I latched onto the first guy to give me an ounce of attention." You groan. What's so wrong with wanting to be loved huh? Nothing. But you deserve a guy who isn't a complete asshole.

"There will be other guys, anyone would be lucky. to have you"

"Yeah? Like who?" You say with a snort.

"Like me." Logan says simply. Your eyes widen as you taken in what he just said.

"What?" You ask in disbelief.

Logan shifts where he sits. Fuck this isn't how he imagined telling you, in fact he thought he never would. But Carter made him so angry and he'd be dammed if he let another dick come and take you away again.

"Like me, I want to be the lucky bastard."

"I...Logan how long have you felt this way." You ask, a hand coming to rest on his chest.

"It doesn't matter,"

"Yes it does, please. I need to know how much of an idiot I've been." You beg and Logan frowns, he doesn't like it when you call yourself an idiot.

"Years sweetheart, I've been in love with you for years." He confesses.

All this time. He's been there. As your friend, as something more. Too wrapped up in his own shit to say something at first and then by the time he worked out some of it, it was too late. He hates to admit it but that asshole did one thing right, it pushed him to stop hiding how he really feels about you.

"Logan..." You whisper as your lean in close to him.

His hand snakes around your waist and pulls you closer. Your lips ghost each other for just a moment, before he leans closer and kisses you. Your lips move together slowly. Logan groans against your lips as he pulls you even closer, if anyone were to look outside they'd see you practically crawling onto his lap.

His other hand cups your cheek, keeping you right there for him to kiss over and over. A part of you is kicking yourself for not saying anything to Logan sooner. So much pain and annoyance could have been avoided had one of you just confessed, but the other part of you is too happy to care. Too happy knowing that he felt the same way and that he was finally yours.

"I wish we had done this sooner."

"Me too sweetheart, but you have me now." He says as he kisses you again. A thought lingers in your mind and you pull away from Logan much to his dismay.

"Fuck, I need to get my shit from Carters place." You say with a groan.

"Don't say his name ever again," Logan grumbles and you laugh.

"I'll take care of everything so you never even have to think of that asshole." Logan buries his face in your neck, kissing every bit of skin he can reach.

"Now, lets ditch this party and make up for some lost time." Logan purrs.

God there's so much time to catch up on, you mourn what could have been but Logan taps your cheek. Snapping you out of your spiraling thoughts.

"You alright sweetheart?" You nod, shaking your head free of those thoughts. That's all in the past now, it took a while but you found your way to Logan and that's all that matters.

"I've never been better. Now, take me home."

[sporadicallyanenthusiast]

First of all, let me just thank you for taking the time to explain all of these points! There were many contexts here I didn't know about and it helps make more sense of the story! So thank you so much ❤️

And the thing about Ancient Greek and color is really fascinating! Kudos to the people that first began translating the ancient texts, because oh boy! Hahaha @mari--lace also mentioned in the replies how it is not a consensus on Athena's eye color either. I've only ever heard about the "wine colored sea" point, but never had the thought to dig deeper and learn more. I am definitely going to change that hahaha There are so many interesting things to learn, no wonder so many scientists have been studying the topic for centuries.

I'll have to admit, our poor Menelaus really did suffer a lot, dear Gods. Since my first contact with him was through the Odyssey and some fandom posts, sometimes I forget Agamemnon was his brother. And yes, as much as he loved Odysseus, learning about your brother's death like that can't be easy to digest. And the timeline of how long he stayed shipwrecked was a little fuzzy to me, so it makes sense that after 7 years, his memory would be hazy! I see what you mean when you refer to it as a vision/dream now. I didn't know Aegisthus had them exiled either, so that definitely adds even another layer to the hell Menelaus' life was at that time! We talk so much about Odysseus' hardships, but oh my, poor Mene didn't catch a break either, I'm appalled 😰 I have yet to wrap my mind around the fact the the poems were supposed to be performed out loud as well. A lot of the narrative choices make way more sense when you remember that, it's not just a regular book. I suppose that is why some things sound jarring when you read it for the first time.

And yes! Oh my, I never thought the texts would be so expressive and so warm, you know? We tend to have this idea that people from different times were too cold and distant, but they were still human at the end of the day. Of course they'd be affectionate to the ones they loved! And to be honest, it reminds me of when I read Sherlock Holmes for the first time. It really caught me by surprise how Sherlock and Watson were described and how they talked about each other in such a loving way. I don't know when we stopped writing platonic relationships so beautifully like that, but it truly is a loss to modern literature, in my humble opinion.

And I had no idea about Odysseus' own prophecy! I did know he tried to avoid going to war, but I just assumed it was because he had a newborn son and wanted to be there for Penelope. In that scenario, it really is fair to point out Menelaus trying to warn them wouldn't change much. On that note, Athena herself also told Telemachus Odysseus was alive and he didn't believe her, the Wisdom Goddess hahaha I hadn't thought about that before, but it really does illustrate how hopeless all of them were. If Telemachus didn't believe Athena, you're right, he wouldn't really care about Menelaus' letter either.

I knew about the law of Xenia, so I assumed that was the only reason stopping them from sending the suitors away. I admit I was a tad bit confused why Telemachus didn't force the suitors to leave once he outright had Athena's and Zeus' blessing, so your explanation really helped me make sense of everything!

It's such a nice and sweet detail to have Telemachus and Odysseus going through their journeys at the same time (Telemachus' first journey and Odysseus' last journey, even!), only to meet again at home and taking back control of their palace together. Maybe I teared up a bit, can't deny nor confirm hahahahaha

You are still way more knowledgeable on the topic, and your academic background gives a perspective other people might not have. So I think it's fair to call you as such 🥰❤️

Oh, I see! Sorry, I'm a bit too anxious at times and end up worrying too much that I gave the wrong impression or was rude by accident hahaha

This has been a lovely discussion indeed! Once again, thank you so much for being so kind to explain everything, I'll definitely be reading the books with new perspectives and insights!

Telemachus is so much stronger than me for real. Cause if I had traveled for days, by sea AND land, arrived at the palace of my father's friend and my mother's cousin to humbly ask if they know anything about my missing father and instead of just fucking telling me already, this mf started a monologue about how gay he is for my dad and about the time he captured a God that granted him wishes three, I'd already be telling him to Hurry The Fuck Up. IT'S BEEN TEN YEARS, I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

But if the same motherfucker then turned around and told me that he had known FOR YEARS NOW that my dad is trapped on an island AND THE MOTHERFUCKER DIDN'T TELL ANYONE!!!! NOT A SINGLE LETTER!!! I would have already strangled Menelaus with that fucking blond hair of his in front of his wife and children, unhelpful son of a bitch.

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m still riding a high from that beautiful episode on Monday. So I’m sharing a bit more from love in a series of bursts & inches, the fic I wrote for Ramadan last year wherein TK and Carlos host an Eid party for Marjan to introduce her parents to Joe. This scene is pretty relevant to the themes of the episode, and upon rereading this fic over the last couple nights I found it to be a really cozy supplement to what we got on screen. I welcome you to give it a read if that’s something you’re interested in 💛

Her eyes misted when she opened the box, the scarf was wrapped neatly in soft pink tissue paper. It smelled faintly of vanilla and cardamom, the scent instantly transporting her back ten years; to Saturday afternoons shopping with Sahar, trying on outfit after outfit, layering on bangles and dancing in the showroom to see what they sounded like when they clinked together.

She held the scarf up to her face to get a deeper whiff of its fragrance. “It’s beautiful, TK, where did you get it?”

He ducked his head and rubbed a hand across the back of his neck before looking bashfully at her from under his lashes. “I called Sahar? She told me about the boutique y’all used to shop at when you were kids. I ordered it from there.”

She dove across the center console to hug him, and they both broke into a fit of giggles when the seatbelt she’d forgotten she already buckled hamstrung her and pulled her back in her seat.

When they were on the road a few minutes later TK shifted towards her in his seat.

“Have you talked to your parents about Joe yet?”

When her parents suggested coming to Austin for Eid she’d been surprised. It’s been five years since she moved to Austin, and she hasn’t returned to Miami for an Eid since. She’d always assumed she would go to them. However, her father had been recently cleared to travel, and both of her parents were eager to see the life she’d built in Austin. She couldn't deny them that, even if having Eid in Miami would have helped her avoid the Joe situation a little longer.

“They know about Joe,” she said dryly.

“I know they know about Joe,” TK responded softly. “But do they know he’s gonna be at Eid? Or is this more of an ambush situation?”

“It’s not an ambush,” she winced. “It’s kind of a …soft intro.”

“You’ve been dating a year, there’s not really any in between here, Marj.”

“I know.”

“What did they say when you told them about him?”

“They said they’re happy for me, that they’re excited to meet him.” She gave him an anguished sidelong look before flicking her turn signal on. “My mom asked if he was from Austin.”

“That’s great!” TK said, balling his hands into fists and foisting them in the air in a cheer. When she rolled her eyes his enthusiasm dimmed and he dropped his hands back to his lap. “That’s not great?”

“She’s gonna want to know all about his family. And then she’ll be all concerned that he’s American.”

His face scrunched in confusion. “Umm, Marj. You’re American.”

“I know I am,” she shrugged, “but it’s different.”

“…is it?”

“My parents raised me in America, yes, and I am American. Just like you. They’ve accepted that Sahar and I weren’t brought up in the same tradition that they were, but they also raised me in the culture and they still have certain expectations.”

“Look, Marj,” TK began slowly, like he was choosing his words deliberately. Trying his best to be compassionate yet reassuring. “I know I don’t know your parents super well. But I did spend time with them, and I think they just want you to be happy. Joe makes you happy, I think they’ll see that and be happy for you.”

As his words began to settle in, a small seed of relief finally appeared, blooming in her stomach with slow surety like a magnolia flower on an early spring day. That small part of her knew he was right. She wanted to believe he was right, that her parents would love who she loved, and just wanted to see her happy.

But it was still a risk.

She’s been afraid for three years now, of pushing too far on her parents’ claim that they love her no matter what. She doesn’t know what she will do if introducing a new man leads to another shift. What will happen if her parents can't accept Joe, or if they can't accept her with Joe.

Thank you for the tags @heartstringsduet @nisbanisba @everlastingday @bonheur-cafe @paperstorm @annoyingcloudearthquake @thisbuildinghasfeelings @whatsintheboxmh @carlossreaders @alrightbuckaroo @eclectic-sassycoweyes @henrygrass 💕

Tagging @futures-tense @emsprovisions @carlos-in-glasses @orchidscript @basilsunrise @hereghostslive @laelipoo @chicgeekgirl89 @ladytessa74 @iboatedhere @tellmegoodbye @ironheartwriter @literateowl @the-126-family @firstprince-history-huh @captain-gillian @welcometololaland @lightningboltreader @liminalmemories21 @freneticfloetry @sapphic--kiwi @herefortarlos @filet-o-feelings @tinyluminaryzombie @kiwichaeng @guardian-angle22 @rmd-writes @reyesstrand @never-blooms @decafdino @certifiedflower @irispurpurea @rangersoup and OPEN TAG 🏷️

[igglemouse]

Week 1 ~ Introducing Marisol ~ Saturday

I invite her inside because she seems infinitely interesting to me especially because I noticed she was wearing a pretty big ring on her hand. I suspect she's about my age and already married? I couldn't help but ask.

Isabela: It just sort of happens I guess? We were dating for some time, he asked, and the answer just fell out of my mouth.

Marisol: Well, it is a really nice ring and we must follow our hearts.

Isabela: I think he spent more on it then he probably should buuuut...I guess that makes it mean that much more to me.

I can definitely see that! I can't really imagine how she feels because if there is a such thing as love I've never experienced it. Nothing even close. My past relationships were always of desire and that, ladies, is something that can burn out quickly. I start to think about Hugo and wonder if what I felt for him was just pure desire or the beginning of, well, love? I guess it doesn't matter but...

Isabela: It's been a whirlwind ever since and thankfully I do not regret saying yes! He's amazing! I couldn't really imagine my life without meeting him.

Marisol: Awww! Now that sounds sweet!

Isabela: I used to be opposed to the whole thing you know? Just seemed like an anchor. Married and children? I don't know, it felt like once you make that step you can't go backwards. Only forwards, for better or worse.

Marisol: I guess it just depends on who you are going forwards with.

I say as if I have the experience to know. I don't have experience but I guess I do have the intuition of an artist and that counts for something.

Index ~ Next

[thewhumpcaretaker]

⚜ 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕎𝕙𝕠 ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕃𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝔽𝕠𝕣 - ℂ𝕙. 𝕏𝕍𝕀𝕀: 𝕊𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕤 𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕃𝕚𝕗𝕖 ⚜

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ ✧.*★ Thank you to @kavalyera for the beta read!

Summary: Vincent and Chidi withdraw to a more private winter home to escape the bustle of the High Table for a while. And it's helping - Vincent is getting better. ...But does that mean he won't need Chidi by his side anymore?

TW: mention of drug addiction, lots of angst

The master of the Gramont house set out again, leaving Il Palazzo as vacant as he had left Versailles. Where there was no conquering to be done, he and Chidi could never linger. Onward they went, chasing the frontier. Fittingly, the United States came first. New York. Dallas. Later, Osaka. Casablanca. Chidi watched these cities pass in front of him with mild curiosity. They interested him primarily for the power Vincent held over them. He traced the lines of Vincent’s network with his own footsteps, his own jet trails, and saw firsthand how power ensnared the whole globe. There was nowhere where anyone could possibly escape from the Marquis, and nowhere where the Marquis could escape his constant work. Christmas had come and gone by the time the alliance with Gianna had reached enough stability to give him a moment’s rest.

“À ce rythme-là, ils vont encore me mettre à terre. [They’ll run me into the fucking ground again at this rate,]” Vincent said, in a Beijing hotel, severely jet lagged. He lay prone, his face half buried in a pillow. It was the kind of night on which he was liable to whine about wanting a hit, and if Chidi wasn’t careful, he’d get one.

How many days had it been since the last slip-up? Eleven? That was a new streak. Chidi closed the curtains against the city lights and pulled his Marquis’ head into his lap. “Je suis fier de toi. Ils ne vous ont pas encore mis à terre, et je ne les laisserai pas. Que pouvons-nous faire ? [I’m proud of you. They haven’t run you into the ground yet, and I won’t let them. What can we do?]” Can I kill someone about it?

Vincent made a small, unhappy sound and blinked up at him cheerlessly. “…Je pense que j’aimerais devenir complètement inaccessible cet hiver. Disparaître de tout le monde. […I think I’d like to become completely unreachable this winter. Just disappear away from everyone.]” Very softly, “Sauf toi. [Except you.]”

“"Je ne voudrais rien de mieux, monsieur. [I’d like nothing better, sir,]” said Chidi, playing with his hair. “Où pouvons-nous nous retrouver enneigés ensemble ? [Where can we get snowed in together?]”

In the northern part of France, near Calais, the Gramont family kept a summer home (which Chidi quickly understood to mean a small castle dating back to the 16th century). Àlderic had barely set foot there, Vincent explained, but the young Comte had enjoyed a lovely few months there once when his father grew tired of him. “Il m'a plutôt envoyé déranger les tuteurs pendant un été. [He sent me away to bother the tutors for a summer instead],” said Vincent, and laughed in a way that tore Chidi’s heart open without noticing anything unusual about it. “Mais la plaisanterie était contre lui, car c’était le meilleur été de ma vie. Beaucoup de temps pour lire et pratiquer le piano, et courir autour du lac pour me lier d’amitié avec la sauvagine locale, au grand dam de ma nounou. [But the joke was on him, because it was the best summer of my life. Plenty of time to read and practice piano, and run around the lake making friends with the local waterfowl, much to my nanny’s chagrin.]”

Chidi smiled, picturing it easily. “Cela semble parfait. Même si vous aurez de la compagnie cette fois-ci. [It sounds perfect. Though you will have some company this time.]”

“…Je vais. […I will.]”

Chidi liked ”Château de la Lune” just fine. To the south, it overlooked a lake where he might go walking or riding anytime, and to the north, a vast forest of hunting grounds. It was a patchwork of eras, renovated several times and partially rebuilt in the wake of an 1850s fire, but retaining its old gothic grandeur in its west wing. Thanks to that eclecticism, it didn’t strike him as such as frighteningly rigid place as Versailles, nor even as curated as Il Palazzo. It simply was what it was – unique and historied and extremely comfortable.

Besides, he liked any place where Vincent was to be found, and where there was hardy work to be done. His friendships with Vincent’s attendants and secretaries and his own favorite trainees among the guards had grown into something dependable. He spent his days making sure that everything ran smoothly with all of them. But Vincent remained the one and only person who understood him not just in part, but in full. The Marquis was the only person who could motivate him not just to take general pride in his work, but to go into a kind of adrenaline-fueled frenzy over something as simple as making sure Vincent got the exact kind of crème brûlée that he wanted for dessert. To say that Chidi enjoyed this work would have been a vast understatement.

They were so perfectly settled. And Vincent had never struck him as a settled sort of person. Chidi waited for the restlessness, for the explosion. But instead, something heartier was unfurling in the evenings when Vincent sat playing him sonatas or dancing with him or joining him for an evening walk. The Marquis talked more. He made jokes. And when he went quiet, it was with calm, private reflection, not with emotional shutdown.

A reflection that Chidi couldn’t enter into.

He went quiet like this more and more often as the days turned to late February and the dismal cold started to wear on Chidi’s nerves. He had to be thinking about something, but wouldn’t say what. The Marquis had started to work alone in his study, to dismiss Chidi outright from time to time. But no matter how many times Chidi asked if he was okay (which provoked Vincent into irritation more than once), the answer was always the same – yes, he was perfectly content. And he could meet Chidi’s eyes when he said it. His voice no longer shook with concealed pain. He really was okay, and upon that realization, Chidi’s fear shifted.

He was watching Vincent pull away from him with newfound independence, he realized. He tried to be happy for him, and he was, sometimes so happy he could hardly contain the heartbreaking joy. But at the same time, it made him feel physically sick, adrift. Me, as Vincent's protector... What a joke. It's him who has protected me from purposelessness all these years, Chidi thought. First Vincent had been a daydream that he’d hoped for as a child, then the man he met and pined after, and then the lover he served. But this was the tragedy of his situation: that if he ever succeeded in healing the man he loved, what would be the need for him? Only then did he understand how much he needed Vincent.

Once, when Chidi could no longer contain himself, he asked, “Mon amour, tu penses que les choses changent entre nous ? [My love, do you think things are changing between us?]”

Vincent simply said, “Oui,” and smiled maddeningly. Chidi walked out that night into the forest. He walked until many layers of barren branches had hidden the lights of the castle windows, and the reflected glow of yesterday’s snowfall sparkled as the only, unearthly light under the stars. Then he screamed himself hoarse.

The worst part was that he couldn’t even blame Vincent. His favor had always been a fortunate and perhaps temporary blessing. He was the wildest person Chidi knew, and he loved him for that. To restrain him…it wasn’t worth seeing him trapped in yet another gilded cage.

So when Vincent announced that he planned to spend a few days without him in Paris, Chidi felt the ground drop out from under him. He had no real reason not to trust Vincent to go on his own. He couldn’t say no, even knowing that the reason could well be an affair or just…time away. Time enough to contemplate a permanent severance between them. The best he could manage was, “Je préférerais de loin vous accompagner, maître, pour votre sécurité. Es-tu sûr? [I would greatly prefer to go with you, master, for your safety. Are you sure?]” And Vincent said he was sure.

He kept in constant contact with the guards who did follow the Marquis. His fear, he told himself, was all for Vincent. A protective rage just like every other. But it didn’t abate when they told him that all was well. “He’s in the best spirits we’ve ever seen,” wrote his second-in-command. “Practically skipping. And no, not from intoxicants.” Chidi looked down to find that he’d shattered the glass tumbler he was holding.

Another text shattered him on the second night of Vincent’s trip, this time from Vincent himself. “Je rentre demain matin, tôt. Retrouve-moi au bord du lac à 7 heures. J'ai quelque chose à te dire. Habillez-vous bien – c’est important. [I am coming home tomorrow morning, early. Meet me by the lake at 7. I have something to say to you. Dress well – it’s important.]”

Chidi shut his phone and let his chest shudder with silent tears for five whole minutes before he could bring himself to answer. “Oui, monsieur.” And then his chest fully caved in, and for the rest of the night, he was, whether loudly or silently, inconsolable.

So it was with finality, with resignation, that he donned his grey suit for the last time, held his pin to the light till it flashed in his eyes, and stabbed twice through his lapel as he had done each and every day. One piercing on the way in, one on the way out, each one a rending deep in the fabric that left a small but irreparable hole. For your freedom, Vincent, I will tear out even Cupid’s arrow. I will do as you say.

It was the warmest morning in quite some time. There was mist over the lake, and it settled into Chidi’s skin and into his eyes, that vast damp blurring of an uncertain future. Would he at least be allowed to stay at Vincent’s side, enjoying the torturous sight of his master’s unreachable perfection? To guard the gate of a life into which he would never again be permitted? Damn it all, but he hoped for even that small pleasure. Because if he could never see him again…

But Chidi couldn’t bear to think of that after catching sight of the Marquis, picking his way over the dormant winter grass in riding boots. He must have risen hours ago and seen to his appearance somewhere on the road, in a hotel perhaps. That majesty might look unstudied, but Chidi alone knew the effort that went into it, the thought and the fretting. His own morning routine seemed like nothing to him by comparison. Vincent’s lips, pinkened by the chill of morning, kissed him softly while the dew beaded on his polished shoes and kissed his ankles with flecks of sweet cold where the grass had poked its way under his starched hems. He let himself be present in his body and hold the Marquis, their breath intermingling in air, looking out across the dawn in silence.

There, on that glassy surface turned to agate by the rising sun, a pair of swans circled. The first of the spring. “J'ai entendu dire qu'ils s'accouplent pour la vie. [I’ve heard they mate for life],” said Chidi. “Quand l’un meurt, l’autre aussi. [When one dies, so does the other.]”

“J'ai entendu dire qu'ils pouvaient tuer un dogue allemand avec leur bec nu, [I’ve heard they can kill a great dane with their bare beaks],” said Vincent, “pour être sûr que cela n'arrive pas. [to make sure that doesn’t happen.]” For a second, Chidi almost laughed, but he didn’t trust the choked sound that came out of him, and quieted it back into soberness.

He turned to his master, searching. His eyes came up against a wall of porcelain and glass and placid smiles. In his desperation, he found himself asking for the first time, “À quoi pensez-vous, monsieur ? Vous me désavantagez, et je – [What are you thinking, sir? You have me at a disadvantage, and I -]” His voice broke against that impenetrable wall. “Je sais que tu n'as plus besoin de moi. Je suis si heureux de te voir plus heureux. Je ne peux tout simplement pas supporter ce... suspense quand je sais que tu... finis-en, juste – [I know you don’t need me anymore. I’m so glad to see you happier. I just can’t take this…suspense when I know that you…just get it over with, just - ]” He narrowly prevented himself from collapsing onto Vincent’s shoulder and instead turned the other way, face hidden by his hands.

“Chidi. Non, Oh mon Dieu, je ne voulais pas dire… [Chidi. No. Oh god, I didn’t mean…]” Vincent’s arms were around him then. “C'était un plan stupide. S'il te plaît, ne pleure pas. Je n’aurais peut-être pas dû être aussi mystérieux, mais ce n’est pas comme si je voulais tout gâcher… [It was a stupid plan. Please don’t cry. I shouldn’t have been so mysterious maybe, but it’s not like I meant to ruin it…]”

“Attendez. Quoi? Détruire quoi ? Non, vous n'avez rien fait de mal. Je comprends. Tu n'es plus obligé de me vouloir, c'est juste – c'est juste dur pour moi, je suis désolé – [Wait. What? Ruin what? No, you haven’t done anything wrong. I understand. You don’t have to want me anymore I just – it’s just hard for me, I’m sorry – ]”

Vincent grabbed him by both shoulders so roughly that he was shocked out of his tears. “JE te veux! Bien sûr, je te veux. C’est exactement de cela dont il s’agit. [I DO want you! Of course I want you. That’s exactly what this is about.]”

“… Je ne pense pas savoir ce que tu dis. […I don’t think I know what you’re saying.]”

Vincent just pulled him close, and whispered, “Soyons heureux, d'accord ? C'est un moment spécial. Il y a un photographe sur la colline qui va le capturer, alors… dis-moi quand tu te sens prêt. [Let’s be happy okay? This is a special moment. There’s a photographer on the hill who’s going to capture it, so…tell me when you feel ready.]”

Chidi hastily tried to clean up his face on his sleeve, but he still wasn’t following. “D'accord. Je vais bien, je suis prêt. Mais je ne le fais vraiment pas… [Okay. I’m okay, I’m ready. But I really don’t…]”

And then he looked back to Vincent to find him on one knee.

“Oh.”

Vincent, he realized, was faintly shaking. So was he, rather more violently.

“Dios mío… [Oh my god…]”

Time went surreally slow. With the motions of a person underwater, the Marquis was pulling a small velvet box from the pocket of his overcoat. To his surprise, Vincent spoke in somewhat stilted, practiced Spanish. “Una vez me devolviste algo que pensabas que había dejado caer. Me lo devolviste cuando sentí que... como si no tuviera nada. Me encontraste en mi punto más bajo y me ayudaste incluso entonces. Eso fue más que una amabilidad. Cambiaste mi vida permanentemente con ese acto. Pero aquí está el problema: quería dejarlo. Lo intenté para que lo disfrutaras, porque quería que hubiera alguna conexión entre nosotros. Así que ahora te lo doy de nuevo. Para siempre. [You once returned to me something that you thought I had dropped. You gave it back to me when I felt like – like I had nothing. You found me at my lowest, and helped me even then. That was more than a kindness. You changed my life permanently with that act. But here’s the problem: I meant to drop it. I intended it for you to enjoy, because I wanted there to be some connection between us. So now, I’m giving it to you again. Forever.]”

There in the box: a gold ring, with a band of clear resin at its core. And embedded in that band, amongst flecks of gold leaf, were flecks of white. “El pétalo de rosa blanca. [The white rose petal.]”

Vincent nodded, unable to speak. Finally, he managed it. “¿Quieres casarte conmigo, Chidi? [Will you marry me, Chidi?]”

And again, Chidi saw that bottomless depth in his eyes. That desperate, hidden thing that had called out to him with irresistible compulsion from the first sight. Vulnerability.

And again, he answered its call. “Sí. Dios, sí. [Yes. God, yes.]”

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Image Sources: One | Two

[atangledfate]

She tried her best to get to known Duo, learning about his past and why he came to them in the first place. It didn't help that the lad was pretty jumpy and a bit timid. But in training he seemed to catch on real fast and, was always on point when she needed him. It had been a rough that first day but she'd come to rely on him somewhat. He was calmer then tangle and more personable then Whisper. Lanolin had really sort of taken to the kid, though she always felt he was hiding something. Everyone had there secrets right?

Walking through the library it really was a grand place. It reminded her so much of the archive at restoration only less work and more a place of learning. She could probably have gotten lost here for hours and not even realized. Though she was happy to find whisper in a corner with a stack of books she'd picked out. Though the two nearly missed her the way she could blend in even here was earie at times. The wolf watched the two pass by with an eye peeking open though didn't interrupt the two in there task.

" Well... whisper is where she said she'd be... not to surprising. Looks like she's found something of interest... let's check on Tangle... Honestly more worried about her then i am anyone else... "

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Back in the Magic section Tangle gripped the big lizards hand Gentle knowing her Tail could easily CRUSH steel and bend titanium! The last thing she wanted to do was accidently hurt somebody! She was pretty good about controlling her strength though! her bright smile and up beat demeanor had always led her to easily making friends, and being a jot to be around. Like a ray of sunshine, people did seem to flock to her.

" Oh WoW second big royal type i've met! What are the odds..."

She rubbed the back of her neck a little surprised he'd wanna see her in action! though she guessed they were as curious about them as the other way around.

" Heh, You'd be the second Sensei i'd picked up in as many weeks! I'm sure Mighty wouldn't mind, he's always saying i should keep pushing my limits! But i wouldn't mind... Long as the boss sheep is ok with it..."

" Oh my tail? Eh well its pretty special! not even my brother can do what i can with mine! We mobians are sometimes born with gifts. Sonic got his speed, Lani can control sound! and i got a super stretchy tail! in retrospect... guess i got the weird power! "

============================================

Lanolin crossed her arms from here they could see Sedan and Tangle talking and, they seemed just fine. Though she did wonder who they were exactly. But by Tangle's body language she was enjoying the conversation. Which only left Duo missing, and that kind of worried her. Her hand on her chin as she looked across the magic section and back across the rest of the library. Yet before she could get to worried a gentle tap on her back made the sheep let out a cute BAA! in shock! causing both her hands to clamp over her mouth! well that was embarassing!

" AH! "

She whirled around to find Duo reeled back as if he'd done something wrong! clutching a book in front of him! how he managed to sneak up on them was a mystery, and yet there he was a history book on application of magic in every day life.

" ah---umm Ma'am... sorry you walked right past me, an i heard my name an--- ah are you ok? "

Reyna could see that, Duo seemed to have a steady head on his shoulders. Plus, there was the fact hopefully Whisper could help them as well.

"Hopefully he'll be alright then. I'll trust your stance on him." She says nodding. She doesn't see Tangle in fiction, but it's pretty close to magic. So she leads Lanolin down that way, figuring that the Lemur might have tried to head there instead. They would pass through the sections Whisper and Duo were in too, so it was a win win.

Sadan is impressed by the dexterity with the tail. Very few people have such skill, even if it's clear this isn't a normal tail by any means. He shakes it happily, very interested in this Lemur already.

"Sadan, Emperor of the Ancient Empire. A pleasure to make your acquaintance Tangle. If you seek a teacher, I'm sure I could find time to give you a lesson or two. I, for one, would like to see your own skill in action. Very few can use their tails with such dexterity after all." He introduces himself, admitting his admiration.

As they don't see Duo, Reyna feels confused. She was expecting Tangle to move, especially since fiction wouldn't offer as much insight as magic. However, she wasn't thinking Duo would be somewhere else.

"Huh. Where do you think Duo went?" She asks Lanolin. The sheep would know the cat better than her, so it'd be wise to ask.

[crazycurly-77]

A well-meant Plan

Oh man, the boss could be really stressful. He didn't have any hobbies other than building his boat, which was probably the reason why he didn't pay attention to the time of day or night or to private appointments.

His mood also fluctuated between bad, worse and terrible.

On this day, the latter was more the case, which Tony and you have already felt.

After Gibbs had loudly reprimanded you both for the second time, he went to get a coffee and you could finally take a breather.

"Phew, it's best to avoid the boss today," said DiNozzo as he came to you for a short chat.

"Yes. And because we have to work overtime again, I had to cancel another date," you replied, annoyed and disappointed.

Suddenly Tony started grinning and shouted: "I got it! That's THE idea!"

That sounded interesting. You looked up at him curiously: “What’s up? Tell me!”

He leaned towards you conspiratorially, lowered his voice and said: “He needs a woman!”

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. That was just too absurd.

“Are you seriously trying to set Gibbs up? Are you crazy?”

“No! Listen: he doesn’t have a private life of his own, which is why it doesn’t bother him at all if he makes us work overtime. A woman at his side would complain if he just sat in the office all the time. That would inevitably mean less work for us too,” he argued and paused briefly.

Then he continued: “Think about it… finishing work earlier and sleeping in on the weekend, being able to meet up with friends without constantly having to worry about being called and having to leave...”

The argument was extremely convincing and you were excited about his plan: “You know what? We’ll try it! And I already have the perfect candidate for it!”

Tony was thrilled: “Tell me.”

Grinning mischievously, you described your friend: “Sue is tall, confident, independent, pretty and has red hair.”

“Hey! She’s perfect! Call her right away!” Tony called out. You immediately picked up the phone and asked her to pick you up from the office in the hope that Gibbs would be back by then.

And indeed, he came back a short time later, fixed you with a venomous look, sat down at his desk and continued working.

A few minutes later, Sue arrived and immediately after entering the office, she eyed up Jethro and he assessed her. Of course…she had red hair…Tony and you just winked at each other. Your plan seemed to be working.

You watched with excitement as the two of them approached each other and actually made plans to meet up that same evening!!!

My goodness, contrary to expectations, it went brilliantly!!! If something developed from this, you would finally have a chance at a solid life outside of the office!

Your plan seemed to be working.

In the next few weeks, Sue actually visited more often to pick up Gibbs for an evening together. He was really in a better mood and he stopped calling you all the time after work.

But the longer the two of them met and the more often you had to watch them chatting intimately, laughing and leaving the office together, the unhappier you became.

You couldn't explain it, but it was true.

At every meeting, Sue raved to you about her meetings and evenings together with Jethro. She told you so enthusiastically what a gentleman he is and how wonderful their time together is that you could see the hearts in her eyes.

With each of her descriptions, you were happy for the two of them and were just waiting for the official announcement that they were a couple. But with every meeting, the stab in your heart and the pain of loss grew.

At first you couldn't explain it, but at some point you had to accept that you were in love with him yourself. But now the chance to be happy together was gone. And you had only yourself to blame.

While he became happier and smiled now and then, you became more and more sad. And when you couldn't stand it anymore, you decided to talk to your friend Abby about it.

Desperate and seeking advice, you sat in her lab and talked everything off your chest.

"Tony and I just wanted him to be happy again, but the plan backfired completely... I wish them both all the happiness in the world. And that's why I'm going to ask for a transfer."

Abby looked at you in shock: "Why?"

Sadly you hung your head and replied quietly: "Because I love him."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Jethro's deep voice suddenly sounded behind you. Damn. That wasn't planned.

When Abby saw him, she gasped and your heart almost stopped in shock. 

You turned red and wanted to flee, but he was standing right behind you and stopped you by gently holding your wrist.

That screamed for an urgently needed discussion between the two of you.

With a quick “I'll leave you alone and visit Ducky,” Abby left her lab to give you some privacy.

After she left, nothing happened at first. Neither of you knew how to begin, even though there was so much to discuss.

Silently and with a thousand questions in his eyes, Gibbs looked at you and finally asked quietly: "Why didn't you say anything?"

You were very uncomfortable being confronted by him about this, which is why you tried to evade him with an equally quiet "It doesn't matter."

"No, it DOES matter!" he insisted in a firm voice while he continued to hold your wrist, fearing that you would run away as soon as he let go of you.

"No, it doesn't." Your desperation grew. How were you supposed to explain to him what was going on inside you? He would only say that he wanted Sue and not you and that you should forget everything.

You knew that this was probably best, but you couldn't bear to hear those words from him.

But he showed no mercy and continued to try to get you to talk. He looked you straight in the eyes and spoke forcefully:

"It DOES matter to ME. So why? Why didn't you talk to me?"

That look that felt like he could see into the very depths of your soul... you could no longer withstand it.

Sighing deeply and closing your eyes, you gave up your resistance.

You gathered all your courage, opened your eyes again and looked at him firmly. "I wanted you to be happy and that's why I set you two up. But over time I realized that it hurt me to see you leave the office together." 

You had managed the first part of your confession. But the hardest part was still to come and the thought of it made your heart sink.

A big lump formed in your throat and you tried with all your might to hold back your tears. But that was no longer possible and you felt them slowly starting to run down your cheeks.

Jethro didn't say a word during your little break. He stood in front of you and still looked at you expectantly. When he saw your tears, he began to stroke your arms soothingly and maybe help you somehow.

"Every time Sue talked about your time together and I saw how she beamed with happiness, I was happy for you. But it hurt me so much and every time I think my heart is going to break into a thousand pieces with grief," you said, getting quieter and quieter, trying to reveal your inner feelings to him. 

With every word you spoke, your hopelessness grew. But the worst was yet to come: releasing him. It felt like you were ripping your own heart out, but it had to be done. For Sue. But mostly for him.

You hung your head and collected yourself one last time before you could look at him again. He was completely blurred through your veil of tears. If you hadn't felt so miserable, you would have found it amusing. But no, you weren't in the mood to laugh at all.

Jethro continued to hold your hand patiently, stroked the back of your hand soothingly and waited. He had the feeling that you weren't finished yet. So he waited.

Finally, you continued: "I'm very happy for you two and wish you all the happiness in the world."

Then you took a deep breath and started again: "...and that's why I'm going."

Your words took the ground from under Gibbs' feet and all his self-confidence was gone. He couldn't let you go. He had to somehow convince you to stay with him. He couldn't lose you.

Nothing happened for a few seconds. You just looked deep into each other's eyes in the hope of finding out what the other was thinking.

Then he stroked your cheek with his thumb and wiped away your tears. "You silly thing," he scolded you gently.

He carefully put his arm around your neck and came closer and closer to you. He hoped fervently that you wouldn't run away.

He closed his eyes and blew a tender kiss on your lips. When he noticed that you didn't resist, he softly placed his lips on yours and gently pulled you towards him.

It was enough to make you melt. For both of you, it was finally the fulfillment of all your dreams, but suddenly you tore yourself away from him and slapped him.

"How dare you?!” you hissed at him.

You had just torn him out of a beautiful world and he no longer understood anything. In his confusion he just stared at you: "What do you mean?"

You wavered between the breathtaking feeling of being in his arms and pure despair. Why didn't he understand that?

"How dare you kiss me? Kiss the woman you love instead!" was your advice to him.

"Yes, exactly," he agreed and took another step towards you.

"What are you doing?" you asked cautiously.

He grinned confidently: "Follow your advice." Before you could react, he grabbed you, pulled you into his arms and pressed his lips to yours again. At first you tried to resist, but after a short time your resistance weakened. And when his tongue gently stroked your lower lip and asked for entry, you finally surrendered.

As your tongues danced together and carefully explored each other's mouth, fireworks exploded in your hearts. That was exactly what you were both looking for.

But it was wrong. He was in a relationship with your friend, your mind switched on again.

Reluctantly, you ended your kiss and wanted to tell him that you shouldn't do that. But he gently put a finger on your lips and whispered: "There is nothing between Sue and me. There was never anything and there never will be. We only met and talked a few times. We are just friends. But I'm glad that it made you recognize and understand your feelings. And that's why I'm taking your advice... I'm kissing the woman I love.”

To emphasize his words, he kissed you again and you were absolutely speechless at his confession.

“But...”

"No buts."

Again he stole a kiss from you and now that he had finally tasted and felt your lips, he could not and would never stop kissing you.

“Do you still want to go?” he asked you almost shyly.

“No! I'm staying with you!” you cried, beaming with joy and threw your arms around his neck.

He burst with joy, took you in his arms and laughed “I'm so happy!”

The two of you stood in Abby's lab, hugging each other tightly, sharing the deepest kiss ever and it said more than words could have ever expressed.

The End

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Masterlist stories - Part 1 (finished ones)

Masterlist stories - Part 2 (finished ones and ongoing ones)

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Tags: @ilovemark1951, @hobby27

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[lunaflvms]

omg guys idek if anyone cares but life update since i stopped writing 🤞 ok so the start of this year i came back from malaysia and then i went iceskating and posted about it and had this really weird talking stage with the guy he was kinda super ugly but he was like super nice to me until he wasnt and like he kept thinking he was in some mafia wattpad smut shit cuz like he kept asking me for fucking nudes and ofc i said no but dawg I TOLD HIM NO SO MANY TIMES and then he asked me out on valentine (he asked me out 6 times before) i was late to meeting him I CANT BELIEVE I WAS SO GULLIBLE CUZ HE SAID VALENTINES JUST AS FRIENDS but he got me like shit for vals and i felt bad cuz i was extremely late and i didnt get him a gift and said yes THAT LASTED 4 DAYS CUZ HE TREATED ME LIKE SHIT i ended it anyways i dropped him cuz he was so ass and he kept asking for nudes and MADE JOKES HE WOUKD SA ME IF I LEFT???????? anyways hes fycked up next i was kinda like in my hoe era like i was pulling bitches which was funny cuz i never did and then i started talking to this dude that was from a diff state big regret cuz u never know if theyre honest or not anyways i didnt really like him but then i woke up as his gf BRO DIDNT EVEN ASK and i felt bad if i said hey were not together but i shouldve said it and i dragged it out for two weeks and ended it with him anyways i decided to like stay away from the male specimen and like focus on my studies and go out with friends AND THEN this really cute guy came along who is now my bf 😇😇🤞🤞 and hes super sweet and cute and literally the best like weve been together for 3 months and he got me roses for that 😞😞 HES THE BEST anyways OMG I FORGOT TO SAY BUT AFTER I BROKE UP WITH bf that didnt ask to be my bf i went to the hospital cuz i was ill 💀 and then it was my birthday two days later and then a week or two weeks after my bday my grandpa sadly passed ☹️☹️ so like i had an 8 hour notice and then was rushed to malaysia for his funeral 💔💔 i miss him ANYWAYS thats all i think 👍

[blackkatdraws2]

There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]

[brummiereader]

@mischievouslittlecreature fantastic chapter, Lily 😍!

I'm sorry I'm getting so behind on reading 😩. I've currently got a nasty case of bronchitis that won't fuck off 😭, so forgive me if my comments on this chapter don't make much sense.

He nodded. “There was a message pinned to it. Look down on earth and see the seeds you have sown,” he shook his head. I love how the title of this chapter echoes that pinned note. You're so clever at connecting everything together.

He closed his mouth, eyes narrowing down at her. “You’re so bloody stubborn, you know that?” But there was no bite in his words. If anything, he just sounded very, very tired. Lucy touched his chin delicately. He didn't really think she'd listen to him did he 😅? Poor baby, I couldn't help but notice how tired he was in this exchange too. He sounded like he was stating facts more than having a conversation with her 😔.

Together, they sat, listening to the shrill squeaks and squeals of Charlie’s violin. All the while trepidation sank deeper and deeper into their bones. Although the image of Tommy having to sit and listen to the screeching noises of Charlie's violin always makes me giggle, I've never really looked at this scene and it's deeper meaning until your descriptions. They're constantly trying to simultaneously keep up some normality for Charlie's sake, all while internally losing their minds with stress with everything going on. I wonder if they both ever ask themselves if it's all worth it?

“She likes the life, ey? Well, find one that hates it. Look at him,” Tommy gestured to Arthur. “That’s what he did, and now he’s chairman of the board.” I never really understood what Tommy meant when he said this. Seems pretty counterproductive coming from a gangster 😂. But I can definitely see why Lucy picked up on this comment in particular. She's already pretty fragile when it comes to her own self worth in Tommy's life, and she has a tendency to pick apart small remarks like this until she's convinced herself that Tommy doesn't want her 😩.

How could he not fall in love with Lizzie? She was sweet, beautiful, the mother of his child, and he had known her for years. It's interesting how Lucy only ever points out Lizzie's nicer qualities. Because those far and few between positive aspects of her are often completely buried under the hatred Lizzie shows 😬.

Once that happened, she would be done for. Because when Tommy loved someone, really loved them, like he did her and Grace, he would do anything for them. Why can she never see herself in this equation too 😭? I know he often fucks up when it comes to noticing Lucy's need for reassurance, but I fear she'll never fully see how much he loves her. And I feel like this is only going to get worse as the series continues 😬.

Lucy snorted. As if Michael had any reason to be mad after he’d just lost all their fucking money. Ha, exactly Lucy! Urghh I loathe him.

I love how you explored what Polly would potentially have felt about the situation if things did continue to get worse while she was still there. Because as much as Tommy and Lucy are right about Michael,and as much I think Polly would have agreed with them, there is no fucking way she'd let Tommy take him out. I get the impression that Tommy really doesn't give out second chances to people he's not romantically involved in.

Loved this chapter, hun. I'm eager to see Lucy and Gina's interactions in the next parts 😬!

Part 26: Do You Love Me

Summary: Tommy and Lucy begin to suspect Michael of a far worse betrayal than what happened on the stock market.

Word Count: 6,076

Warnings: Violence and insecurity.

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 4: The Seeds You Have Sown

Lucy rubbed at her eyes with the heel of one hand as she descended the stairs sluggishly. The house was always disconcertingly quiet in the mornings. Even more so with Lizzie and Ruby gone. Normally she got up with Tommy, which helped to cloak over some of the eeriness that the huge house exuded in the early hours. Especially in her dark, isolated wing of the mansion. 

But this morning she had woken up alone. Well, the second time she woke up, she was alone. The first time she had stirred at movement beside her, rolling over with an arm seeking out Tommy’s space beside her in the bed only to find it empty.

“Go back to sleep, love,” he had said, large hand passing over the top of her head. Rather than laying beside her, he was sitting on the edge of the mattress, already mostly dressed. 

“Mm. Why aren’t you here?” she complained, patting the spot next to her, even as she nuzzled back down into his pillow.

“There’s something I need to go check. Won’t be long.”

“Want me to come?”

“No, sweetheart, just go back to sleep,” he kissed the top of her head.

She drifted in and out for awhile after that, but it was hard to find true sleep without him there. Finally, she’d risen out of bed with a sigh, yawning and stretching and slouching her way over to the wardrobe to pull on her clothes for the day. 

Dressed and at least half awake, she was just making her way to the dining room in the hopes of finding a warm breakfast waiting for her when Charlie came exploding in through the front door. His shoes clattered loudly on the floor as he raced towards her. 

“Lucy! Dad wants you,” he skidded to a halt, nearly colliding with her. “He’s outside in the garden.”

“Charlie, what–”

“Miss. Winters, there was a phone call for Mr. Shelby’s office phone that he just missed,” Frances appeared to her left. “And Mrs. Milligan is here for Charles’s violin practice.”

Who the fuck has violin practice this early in the morning?   

“Alright, um, Charlie, you go with Frances to your lesson–”

“He said I’m to play extra loudly today,” Charlie giggled. “Because there might be some bangs outside. Do you know why, Lucy?”

Her blood went cold, eyes snapping to the windows. Suddenly wide awake. She looked back at Charlie, forcing what she hoped was a reassuring smile to pull at her lips. “Yes, Charlie. I think I do. You said that he’s in the garden, did you?”

Charlie nodded.

“Right,” she turned to Frances, who had gone a little pale. “Where’s the teacher?”

“In the drawing room.”

“Charlie, go with Frances to see Mrs. Milligan. Frances, keep everyone inside until we get back.”

“Yes, Miss. Winters.” Frances took Charlie by the hand, quickly leading him away. Lucy waited until they’d gone before running to the cupboard in which they kept a small artillery. She snatched up a tommy gun, some extra ammo, and raced outside. 

She found Tommy seated on the grass by the barren fields, smoking and rubbing at his face with hands smeared with dirt.

“What’s happened?” she asked, hooking the strap of the submachine gun over her shoulder. Her eyes darted around wildly, searching for any signs of danger but finding none. Until her gaze landed on the middle of the field, where a scarecrow was erected on a wooden cross. Lucy stared at it, breath catching in her throat. 

They didn’t have a scarecrow in the field. Not at this time of year, anyway. There was no point when there wasn’t anything planted in it anyway.

If she squinted she could make out that it was dressed in clothes eerily similar to Tommy’s daily attire: a dark coat, trousers, waistcoat, and white button down shirt, with a pocket watch dangling from its neck that glinted in the sun, and a peaky cap a top its burlap head. 

Tommy looked up at her with bleary eyes, chest heaving up and down. 

“There are landmines in the field.”

“What!?”

He nodded, gesturing with his cigarette towards the scarecrow mounted in the center of the barren stretch of mud. “All around the scarecrow. Fucking miracle that I didn’t step on one.”

“You went out there?”

He nodded. “There was a message pinned to it. Look down on earth and see the seeds you have sown,” he shook his head.

“Fuck,” she looked out at the field, watching whisps of white mist float across it. 

“In our own fucking garden, Lucy.”

“Yeah.” Already, her mind had begun to work. Who? Who would do such a thing? They were not lacking for enemies, but she struggled to immediately think of any who would be so bold as to do something like this right under their noses. 

“Charlie almost stepped on them. He came running onto the field to get me. If I hadn’t grabbed him in time…” Tommy trailed off, shoulders shuddering. Lucy’s lips parted, eyes widening. A sick feeling twisted in her stomach at the thought of what could have happened to their sweet boy. A hand went to his shoulder, clapping onto it both for stability and in an attempt to offer comfort. 

Distantly, from within the mansion, she could hear the sounds of a violin starting to play. She closed her eyes against the sound. Normally, she wasn’t particularly taken with Charlie’s violin playing. Often she caught herself wishing he’d chosen a less…shrill instrument to learn. Like the piano or even the harp. But today, she relished in the shriek and squeaks of the bow against the strings. 

“He’s okay,” she said, to Tommy and to herself. 

“Yeah.” He heaved out a massive sign, head bowing. She rubbed back and forth across his shoulder, feeling the tension in his muscles even through the material of his coat and the shirt he had on underneath.     

“What do you want to do about the mines?” 

“We need to take care of them,” he heaved himself to his feet, “so no one risks getting their leg blown off if they step out there.”

“Alright,” she unhooked the strap of her gun from where it was secured on her shoulder. “Should I shoot at the ground from over here, or…?” “No. They’re only around the scarecrow. I think.”

“You think?” 

“If there were ones anywhere else in the field, I’m pretty sure there would be bits of me scattered all over the garden by now.”

She cringed at the mental image, heart twisting upwards into her throat. “Don’t joke about that.”

He looked over at her, saw the expression on her face, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head. “Sorry.” He reached for the machine gun clutched her hands, but she pulled it away. 

“What are you doing?”

“Well…I need…” he had enough foresight to look sheepish at what he was implying. 

“I’m not letting you walk back out there alone.”

“Luces, please…”

“No! I’m not just going to stand here and watch you get blown up.”

“It’ll be fine–”

“Then you should have no problem with me coming with you.”

He closed his mouth, eyes narrowing down at her. “You’re so bloody stubborn, you know that?” But there was no bite in his words. If anything, he just sounded very, very tired. Lucy touched his chin delicately. 

“Look who’s talking.”

A ghost of a smile danced on his lips for a second. “You really would rather risk getting blown up with me than just wait right here?”

“Yes,” she said, without even a moment’s hesitation. His eyes softened, and he didn’t even need to say anything for her to know that she’d won. 

“Alright, then,” he sighed, looking back towards the scarecrow. “Just stick close to me, yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

Through the mist, Lucy could just make out the outline of another tommy gun laying on its side in the mud. He must have dropped it in his haste to get Charlie out of the field. 

“Come on.”

She followed him towards the gate that led out into the rows of soft, damp earth. She was careful to stay behind him and follow the path he cut through the mud, since he knew where the landmines were. He scooped up his gun where it lay on the ground, shaking dark tendrils from his fringe that had fallen forward out of his eyes. Immediately, he started firing upon the scarecrow. He emptied an entire magazine into it before coming to a halt, releasing the magazine drum to let it go tumbling to the ground, sliding a second one into its place with a click. Lucy’s finger found the trigger of her own gun, raising it once she came to a stop at his side. Squinting at the dirt around the scarecrow, she squeezed her finger around the trigger.     

The ground around the scarecrow erupted, dark soil and boiling flames exploding with a furious blaze into the sky. They were standing close enough for Lucy to feel the heat from the explosions on her face and smell the charred scent of smoke and burst metal. 

The explosions came one after the other as they swept the ground with bullets, setting off landmine after landmine, each bursting in its own mini inferno. 

And then all was quiet. 

Black smoke roiled upwards, rolling over itself, momentarily blotting out the sun above them before being broken apart by the wind. 

“You think that was all of them?” Lucy asked, lowering her weapon, glancing over to see Tommy doing the same.  

“Yeah. We’ll have to dig them up later.”

“Not now?”

He shook his head. “Charlie said that there was a phone call for me.”

“Yeah. To your office phone. Do you think it has anything to do with this?”

“Maybe.”

Mist danced around their ankles while he started to lead the way back to the house. She eyed him as they walked side by side. His entire face was pinched with stress, shoulders wound ever tighter than usual.

Michael was supposed to be coming back today. She knew that Tommy had been dreading the day; the tension within him seeming to build more and more as the date grew closer. 

Not that she could blame him. She felt it too; that sense of deep, approaching dread building in her stomach, hairs on the back of her arms standing on end, alarm bells blaring in her ears that danger was approaching. 

Once they were inside, she took a quick detour to lock both of their guns back up in the artillery cupboard before meeting him in his office. He was already on the phone when she slipped in, cocking it slightly when she came over to stand next to him so she could hear static crackling through the receiver, and then the buzz of the line ringing.

Whoever was on the other end picked up, and for just a second, she heard Michael’s voice before it was silenced. And then an Irish lilt filtered through the receiver, the voice introducing herself Captain Swing. Lucy’s brows pinched, stomach twisting into knots as Swing explained that Michael had been caught onboard the ship he’d taken from America, in his cabin making deals with men in Belfast who wanted Tommy dead. In the background, Lucy could hear the faint sounds of Michael’s voice, screaming that Swing was lying. 

Swing offered that she could have Michael killed then and there, or she could send him home for them to deal with. Tommy chose the latter. 

At Swing’s revelation that Michael was discussing with their enemies how they’d divide up the racetracks after they’d blown away Tommy’s legs, Lucy froze. 

That was a very specific way of wording things. And a very specific type of death. 

Her eyes shifted to the windows, looking out at the misty field. Despite the mines they’d detonated around it, the scarecrow was still standing on its cross, the wind ruffling its clothes.

How did she know about the mines?

Either what Swing was saying was true, and Michael had been in on the planting of them, or Swing herself had been involved in some way.  

“What the fuck,” Lucy said, soon as he’d put the phone down. Tommy looked as if he were seconds away from a stress-induced stroke, turning his back to the room to instead stare out the window while lighting a cigarette. “Do you really think…?” “I don’t know,” he shook his head, voice dropping to a whisper. “I don’t fucking know.”

It wouldn’t be entirely out of the realm of possibility for Michael to betray them. He’d done it before, during the vendetta. But at least then he’d had the excuse of choosing loyalty towards Polly over Tommy. 

“Fucking kid…” the shock was beginning to give way to rage. “We should never have taken him back in.” If it weren’t for them, he’d be some boring accountant, probably for a firm in London somewhere. Or maybe still trapped in that little village that he hated so much. How fucking dare he try to move against them? “He’ll be in Liverpool soon. Assuming that Swing actually lets him go and he doesn’t try to run. I could go to the station and assess him. Find out if anything that Swing said was true.”

“No.” 

She opened her mouth to argue, but Tommy put a gentle hand on her arm, drawing her in closer to his side. 

“I think that if either of us were to see him right now, we might kill him on the spot. I’ll send Polly and Arthur to pick him up.”

“He might not even show.”

“Then we’ll have our answer.” He lifted his cigarette to his lips, movements slow. 

“Even if Polly and Arthur clear him, I think we should quarantine him for a while. Just to be safe.”

Tommy nodded. “I’ll have him and the American girl he’s bringing with him put up at the Midland.”

“Good idea.” The Midland belonged to them. All eyes and ears employed within its walls were theirs. Every phone call, every activity, even every fucking thing that Michael ate would be reported to them. 

“And have some of our boys see what they can find on this Captain Swing and her people.”

“Will do.”

There was the click of heels against the floor outside, and then a few rapid knocks on the door. Tommy’s chest heaved with his sigh, lifting a hand to scratch at his brow. 

“Come,” he called, voice gruff, not turning from where he was still staring out the windows. His voice sounded very far away, and Lucy knew that he was currently locked within his own head, turning each and every possibility over and over in his mind. She inched a little closer to him, and when his arm draped around her shoulders, she looped her own around his waist, hoping that the warm press of her body against his side would help to soothe him. 

Frances came in, bringing with her inquiries from the violin teacher about the bangs she’d heard. Tommy waved away her concerns with an explanation of testing fireworks. One glance at the housekeeper’s face, and Lucy could tell that she didn’t believe him for even a second, but knew better than to pry.

“Also, will Mrs. Shelby and Ruby be home for dinner tonight?” she asked instead.  

“I don’t know.”

Lucy looked down, feeling the all too familiar pang of guilt wash through her. They’d had next to no contact with Lizzie since she’d left. Both of them too afraid of making things worse if they did not allow Lizzie her space. 

But God, it was eating her up not being able to see Ruby. The little girl was like a bright beam of sunlight in the otherwise dreary, melancholic house. The whole place seemed a shade darker in her absence.   

Surely Lizzie couldn’t keep her from Tommy forever. Despite everything, she was still his daughter. She would have to let him see her sometime. 

Him, maybe. But not you. You have no claim to her. No matter how much you love her.

She squeezed her eyes shut. The idea of never seeing Ruby again made her want to curl in on herself and weep. 

Approaching footsteps had the three of them starting and turning to see Charlie standing in the doorway, violin clutched in his hands. Excited to show Tommy the new tune he’d learned that morning. 

“And what have you learned, my boy?” Tommy asked, and Lucy detected that he was making great effort to lighten his tone so Charlie would not notice the deep tension practically radiating from him. He slipped down into the chair behind his desk, a hand on Lucy’s waist urging her into his lap. She settled there, arm around his shoulders and head leaning against his.

Together, they sat, listening to the shrill squeaks and squeals of Charlie’s violin. All the while trepidation sank deeper and deeper into their bones. Regarding Michael. Regarding whoever had planted those land mines in their garden, like deadly flowers waiting to bloom in a fiery inferno. And regarding the danger that seemed to be coming at them from each and every direction. 

∗ ∗ ∗

They stepped into the Garrison to find it utterly trashed. Broken glass crunched under their shoes, half filled and empty glasses littered the tables, and spilled booze seeped into the floorboards. There were only two people occupying the pub: a girl, who roused at Tommy scrapping a barstool against the floor to perch on, and Finn, who remained fast asleep spread out in a booth despite their less than silent entrance. The girl rushed to gather up her clothes and hurry out the door at Tommy’s command.

While he and Arthur set to work dealing with Finn, Lucy grabbed up a broom from the supply closet and started sweeping up some of the broken glass littered all over the place. They seemed to get through to him alright, though Lucy couldn’t entirely shake the wariness that had settled within her when it came to Finn. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it was something not unlike how she always felt around Polly. That instinctual knowledge that, no matter what she did or how many times she proved her loyalty, Finn would never truly accept her as a part of the family. 

At his mention to Tommy that he’d found a girl he wanted to marry, she started. Jesus, she kept forgetting that Finn wasn’t a kid anymore. In her mind, he was still that little boy running throughout the streets of Small Heath with dirt smeared across his face, grinning as he weaved between the adults’ legs at the betting shop. 

That might explain some of his recent behavior, however, what with the running head-on into danger half-cocked. Whoever this girl was, he was trying to impress her. 

“Tell me about her,” Tommy requested. 

“She likes the life.”

“She likes the life, ey? Well, find one that hates it. Look at him,” Tommy gestured to Arthur. “That’s what he did, and now he’s chairman of the board.”

She frowned, grip tightening on the broom that she was holding, catching her lip between her teeth to worry at it while she shifted uncomfortably. Finn was dismissed, though Lucy barely noticed.   

Was that what he really thought? That all of them were better off with women who hated the lives that they’d chosen to live? 

She did not fit into that category. But Lizzie did. 

Of course he missed his daughter and wanted her to come home. Lucy missed her too. But it had not even really occurred to her that he may be missing Lizzie as well. 

Her fear that Lizzie would someday replace her was a constant, forever presence in the back of her mind. Sometimes it was quiet, hardly even a whisper to be heard. Other times it was a scream, a blaring siren warning her to brace herself for heartbreak that surely would be coming at any moment. The volume of it ebbed and flowed like the tide. 

His words ran on a loop in her head, doubts growing. Maybe the type of person that she was no longer appealed to him. Maybe Lizzie was what he really wanted. A nice, normal woman. Not some basket case who woke up most nights screaming from nightmares, or who flinched at unfamiliar touches or loud noises. Who didn’t find even the smallest enjoyment out of the sport or kind of work that they did. Who rode a horse sidesaddle rather than with a leg on either side.          

Did she like the life anymore? She honestly couldn’t say. The life had caused her an awful lot of pain, as the aches in her shoulders or the twinges in her heart so often liked to remind her. But it had given her Tommy. And if the life of a gangster was what she had to lead to be with him, she’d do it all again in a heartbeat. Without even the smallest hesitation. 

She swallowed hard, shifting uncomfortably. A combination of excitement and dread opened up inside her at Arthur’s report that Lizzie and Ruby would be home later that day. She couldn’t wait to see Ruby. But the idea of having to face Lizzie, especially after the fight they’d had and Tommy’s latest comments, left her feeling nothing but anxiousness. 

Tommy started to give Arthur orders for how to handle Michael once he arrived from Liverpool, but she barely heard him. 

She knew that Tommy cared for Lizzie. That had never bothered her. She cared for her too. But the idea that he might someday fall in love with her terrified her. Because if he loved her the way that Lizzie so desperately wanted him to, there would be no room for Lucy in his life anymore. No love left for her. 

A part of her had always figured it was an inevitability. How could he not fall in love with Lizzie? She was sweet, beautiful, the mother of his child, and he had known her for years. Even longer than he’d known Lucy. It was impossible that he could spend so much time in such close proximity to her–both emotionally and physically–without certain feelings beginning to bloom. 

Once that happened, she would be done for. Because when Tommy loved someone, really loved them, like he did her and Grace, he would do anything for them. And the first thing that Lizzie would ask of him would be to toss Lucy out onto the street like an unwanted dog. 

Everything she had, she had because of Tommy. She was not naive enough to think otherwise. Without him, she would lose everything. Hell, he was everything to her. Some days, she doubted she would even be alive if it weren’t for him. What would she even have to live for? Without Tommy she was completely and utterly alone. 

“Lucy?” Tommy called, and she started, realizing that he had stood and gone to the Garrison’s doors, waiting for her to follow him.

“Sorry.” Setting aside the broom she was holding, she wiped her hands down on her overcoat and moved to trail him outside, giving a sharp shake of her head to try to dislodge the thoughts banging around uncomfortably inside her mind. 

“You alright?” he asked, once they had made their way to the station and seated themselves in a compartment on the next train headed for London. The floor vibrated under her shiny black boots as they started to pull out of the station, beginning the journey south. She looked away from where she was gazing out the window with her knuckles resting against her lips to find Tommy eyeing her, mild concern shining in his eyes. 

She thought about asking him what he meant by what he’d said in the Garrison. But she didn’t have the courage to open her mouth and let the words come out. Too scared by what his answer might be.  

“Yeah,” she said, instead, shifting so that her temple leaned against the cool glass of the window. “I’m fine.”

∗ ∗ ∗

“Excuse me?”

Lucy looked up from her desk into the face of a bald man with a pointed nose and a dark mustache. He had his hat clutched in his hands, running his fingers along the fine material.  

“Yes?”

“This is the office of Thomas Shelby, correct?”

“It is.” She put down her pen. From his desk across from hers, Adam shot her a nervous look. “How can I help you?”

“My name is Stacker. I need to ask Mr. Shelby some questions. Is he in?”

“What sort of questions?”

The man shifted from foot to foot. “There was a shooting two days ago of a journalist who was in here to meet with Mr. Shelby the night before his death. I’d like to speak with him about it.”

“You’re police?”

“Yes, Miss.”

“Police aren’t allowed in here.”

“I’m here in a very…unofficial context.”

“Mm,” she cocked her head, both of them aware that wasn’t truly the case. But flat out sending him away might do more harm than good. “Adam, go find Mr. Shelby and tell him that there’s a policeman here to see him.”

Adam nodded, standing and slipping past Stacker to rush out the door. 

“You can wait in his office,” Lucy said, standing and walking around Stacker to open the double doors, leading him inside. “Who’s your Chief Constable, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Chief Constable Wyatt, Miss.”

She nodded. Good. They knew Wyatt. “Mr. Shelby will be here in a moment. Can I get you something to drink, while you wait?”

“No thank you. I’m alright.”

She went out into the front office, plucking up a folder from her desk and flipping through it to appear busy while waiting for Tommy and keeping one eye on Stacker. The policeman prowled around the office, examining the papers and trinkets spread out on the big desk, then moving to inspect a painting of a white horse surrounded by a golden frame and hung on the wall behind Tommy’s chair. He didn’t touch anything, though Lucy was sure he was making mental notes about all that he was seeing. 

Heavy footfalls announced Tommy’s presence, entering the office with his briefcase in hand and Adam trailing in behind him. 

 “His Chief Constable is Wyatt,” she murmured into his ear. He nodded.

“Five minutes, then come tell me I’ve got an appointment or something that I need to get ready for so he’ll leave.”

She nodded, going to lounge behind her desk while he went in to deal with the officer. 

Just another day in Parliament, she thought to herself as she lit a cigarette, puffing smoke up towards the ceiling, keeping an eye on the clock for when she would need to rise and rescue Tommy from the clutches of the lawman.

The police investigating Levitt’s death wasn’t a particularly unexpected occurrence. Nor was them coming here to talk to Tommy about it, considering that Levitt had died not long after seeing him. Their boys had done good work on the hit, giving it enough flourish to send a message to any other journalists looking to try something, all while ensuring that the police wouldn’t be able to link it to them easily. If at all.  

Didn’t mean that their poking and prodding around wasn’t annoying, though. She had hoped that the police would simply assume that Levitt’s death was a result of conflict caused in his personal life, and they could avoid being pulled into the investigation all together. But apparently not. 

The clock chimed, and she rose from her seat, grabbing up some documents that she needed Tommy to look over anyway, going back into his office just as the last chime sounded. 

“Mr. Shelby, you have a meeting with an MP from Essex in a few minutes.” She reported, placing the documents she’d brought in on his desk. Tommy turned his gaze onto the policeman.

“Your time’s up, Mr. Stacker.”

Stacker said nothing, throat working. Whatever Tommy had said to him before she came in, it had either given him pause, or made him very angry. Perhaps a bit of both. His eyes flickered between them, and then he rose from his seat. 

“Thank you,” Tommy called to his back as he retreated from the room.

“Did it not go well?” Lucy asked, once she heard the door close shut behind Stacker, watching Tommy’s face while he moved around his desk to his chair. 

“He’s suspicious. But I don’t think it’ll stick. If it does, I’ll have a word with Wyatt about him.”

“Alright.”

Tommy’s eyes shifted to the clock. She glanced over her shoulder at it. 

“Arthur was supposed to call me at three,” he huffed, as they watched the minute hand tick over to the right. 

“It’s only two minutes past, love.” She moved around to his side of the desk, touching his shoulder. “Arthur isn’t always the most punctual.”

He just grunted, and she smiled fondly at his grumpiness, rubbing his shoulder a few times to try to massage away some of the tension she felt in his muscles. When she moved to retract her hand, he caught it in his, dipping his face to peck a kiss to the back of it. His eyes squinted at her, assessing. 

“Something’s bothering you.”

She looked down and away. His thumb rubbed back and forth across her hand where it was still clasping it. She glanced anxiously towards the door.

“There’s no one who might see us except for Adam. And he already knows about us,” Tommy said, reading her mind. “Talk to me. You’ve been quiet since we left the Garrison this morning.”

“It’s…it’s nothing, really.”

“Then why don’t you want to tell me?”

She finally looked up at him. The hard wood of his desk was digging into her back where she was leaning against it. She opened her mouth to tell him, then closed it again. It all felt a little ridiculous when she actually tried to put it into words. “Because I’m just being stupid.”

His brows pinched, fingers squeezing a little against hers. “Well, now you have to tell me.”

Her lips pricked upwards. His hand smoothed up her arm, nearly to her shoulder, rubbing a few times before finding its way back to her hand, raising it back to his lips. “Hm?” His head cocked, tempting. “Come on, now, talk to me,” he said, in a voice like a honey. Lucy huffed, trying to stifle a shiver at the warm rumble of his words, struggling to gather her thoughts into coherent sentences.

“I’m happy that Ruby and Lizzie are coming home. Really. I just…” she sighed, glancing away again. Tommy’s thumb massaged across her knuckles encouragingly, his piercing gaze fixed on her patiently while he waited for her to finish her thought. But she found that she couldn’t. She wasn’t strong enough to actually speak the words that rested on the tip of her tongue.

Am I not what you want anymore?

Are you falling in love with her?

Do you still love me?

And yet she didn’t need to. Both of Tommy’s hands landed on her hips. “Come here,” he drew her in closer, head tipping back to peer up at her through his dark fringe, gaze so softened with affection that it nearly stole the breath from her lungs. And she was left suddenly feeling very foolish that she could ever possibly have doubted his feelings for her. 

“I love you.” He laid a quick kiss on her lips. “I love you, not her. That’s never going to change.”

Her hands came to rest on the nape of his neck, skin warm under her fingers. Relief, that he understood what she was trying to say without her actually having to utter it, had tension that she hadn’t even realized had built up in her muscles melting away. A relieved breath released from her lungs. 

She lowered her head to press her lips to his hair, closing her eyes, voice dropping to nearly a whisper. “I know.” And she did. Deep down, she always did. It was just that sometimes the voices in her head screamed so loud that they drowned out everything else. “Sorry. Sometimes…sometimes I just get scared.” 

His eyes grew sad. “Don’t be sorry,” his thumb circled against her hip. “Brains can be stupid, ey?”

A quiet laugh left her. “Yeah. They can, can’t they?”

“Mm,” humming in agreement, he dropped his head to kiss her shoulder.

The phone on his desk started ringing, popping the little bubble of contentment that had formed around them. Tommy let out a soft groan, lifting his head and reaching around her to grab at the receiver. He tilted it just so against his ear so that she could lean in and hear what was being said on the other end. 

“Arthur?”

“Yeah,” the older Shelby’s gravely voice rumbled through the receiver. “Polly says Michael’s telling the truth.”   

“Did you see him?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“He was angry with us.”

Lucy snorted. As if Michael had any reason to be mad after he’d just lost all their fucking money. 

“Got some American girl with him, too,” Arthur continued. “They got married on the ship on the way here. Name’s Gina Gray. Formally Nelson.”

“What’s she like?”

There was a snort. “She’s got an attitude on her, that’s for bloody sure. Got rooms for them at the Midland. Michael’s mad as a swarm of hornets about it, but he agreed to stay there.”

“Good. What did you think of Michael?”

There was a long pause. “Honestly, Tom…I thought he was awfully fucking defensive for someone who supposedly doesn’t have anything to fucking hide.”

Tommy nodded, looking out the window, lips pursing together.

“I have my revolver with me,” Arthur said, after a moment. “I could probably catch up to them before they even get to the hotel…”

“No. I want to speak with him first. Before we make any permanent decisions. Just have our people at the Midland watch him, for now.”

“All right.”

Tommy hung up the phone, and then let out a groan, face falling forward to rest on her chest, arms looping loosely around her waist. Lucy laid her palms on the back of his head, hugging it to her while her chin rested on his soft dark hair. 

“Well, at least we can keep an eye on him here,” she murmured. With a sigh, Tommy raised his head. 

“Yeah.”

“If you change your mind and want him taken care of, just say the word.”

“We have to be absolutely sure.”

She examined his face, understanding. It wasn’t about Michael. Not really. Not anymore. Maybe at some point it would have been, but most of the good will that Tommy had towards his cousin had dried up long ago. 

This was about Polly. 

If he ordered Michael’s death without provable provocation, he would lose Polly forever. Hell, even if they were able to prove that Michael was trying to have Tommy killed, that may not be enough to sway Polly to their side. At the end of the day, Lucy believed that she always would side with him. Even over the other Shelbys, if she had to. And understandably so. Michael was her son. 

But Tommy loved Polly enough that he would not have Michael killed. Not until he either had no other choice, or he was confident that Polly would support him on it.

Delicately, she brushed a few tendrils of hair out of his face. “It’ll be okay.” 

He looked up at her with eyes worn ragged, stress pinching at the edges of his mouth and in his brow. She stroked his face, smoothing away the lines, drawing his head in close to rest on her chest again. He nuzzled into her with a sigh, eyes sliding closed and cheek resting comfortably atop her breasts. 

She wished terribly that there was more that she could do for him. All she wanted was to be able to help him. To help lessen the burdens that he carried. But there wasn’t much more that she could do. Not now, at least.

So instead, she just held him.  

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[musical-chick-13]

Regarding the whole "Fandom Is An Escape, so why should I have to care this much about misogyny/racism/ableism/transphobia/etc." thing. Idk about the rest of you, but it gets kind of hard for me to "escape" when I keep seeing people say the same vile things about characters who share aspects of my identity that I hear all the time in real life.

[foreverxdaydreaming]

x

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!