#HELP LET ME SLEEP BRAIN
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I'm trying to sleep but anime intros are rotating in my head.
Now playing: KIMI DA YO KIMI NANDA YO OSHIETE KURETAAAAA 🎶
#your lie in april for those who dont know#its been hours#and its still playing in my head#why is this somg so catchy 😂#HELP LET ME SLEEP BRAIN
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“hold” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 488 words
this, but make it jegulus (i tried to get it as close to the original as possible)
Remus is sitting in an armchair doubled over with laughter. Sirius has fallen out of his chair and is cackling on the floor with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. Regulus is sitting on the couch trying his best to stay composed. And James in standing in the middle of the room with more passion and fire in his eyes than Regulus has ever seen.
“Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!” James is shouting.
“James—” Regulus tries to calmly interrupt.
“HOLD ON!” James looks pointedly at Regulus and his eyes look like they’re going to literally pop out of his head. “Her sister was a witch, right?” Regulus is trying so hard to hold back his laughter. “And what was her sister? A princess! The Wicked Witch of the East, Reg.” James is yelling, not unkindly just very passionately, looking directly at Regulus and nodding his head aggressively to emphasize every point.
James starts pacing in genuine distress. Sirius is rolling on the floor holding his stomach and laughing so hard his entire body is shaking. Remus has his hands over his mouth, which is doing absolutely nothing to contain his laughter.
Regulus stands up to meet James in the middle of the room. “I’m gonna stab him.” He mumbles under his breath, which makes Sirius laugh even harder—if that’s even possible.
James whips around to face Regulus. “You’re gonna looks at me and you’re gonna tell me that I’m wrong? Am I wrong?” James asks emphatically.
And the thing is—James is, in fact, very wrong. “It’s my favorite—” Regulus tries to interject but can’t even get a word in.
“She wore a crown, and she came down in a bubble, Reg!” And that proves absolutely nothing.
Regulus knows he’ll never get James to listen to him. “I’m not fighting with you.” He shakes his head, chuckling fondly.
James makes his way out of the living room. “Grow up!” He says over his shoulder.
“I’m not fighting with you.” Regulus says again.
“Grow up.” James seems to be losing steam as he leaves the room.
“Get educated!” Regulus yells then flops down on the couch and finally lets his laughter out.
Eventually Regulus, Sirius and Remus’ laugher fades into soft chuckles as they calm down and take several deep breaths to compose themselves.
It’s a few minutes later when James appears in the doorway with a sheepish look on his face—that Regulus thinks is adorable. He slowly makes his way over to the couch and sits down beside Regulus. He’s quiet for a few moments then turns slightly to look at Regulus.
“I’m not really mad.” James says in a small voice. “And you know I love you, right?”
Regulus chuckles fondly and takes James’ face in his hands. “Yes, I know you love me, Jamie.” He leans in to kiss James softly then pulls back the tiniest bit. “But you’re still wrong.” Regulus whispers against James lips.
#i couldn’t help myself#this was so funny to me - i was giggling the entire time i was writing it#but i'm also sleep deprived so maybe i'm just tired#i think reg and james would definitely have arguments about nothing like this#because they’re both so stubborn and can never let anything go#but even if it’s not a real argument james can never stay upset with reg#so he’s always the first to cave#the guy says ‘i'm gonna stab him’ which is obviously so very reg#i have no idea what this argument was about but reg loves the wizard of oz and wicked so he’s clearly correct regardless#wicked is still rotting my brain#i know this was ridiculous#i might write a real one after i get some sleep and i can think more clearly#i go to sleep now - good night my friends#regulus loves james#james loves regulus#jegulus#jegulus microfic#jegulus fanfiction#marauders fanfiction#regulus black#james potter#marauders#james x regulus#regulus x james#marauders era#harry potter#dead gay wizards from the 70s#starchaser#sunseeker#jeggyverse microfic
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I have said it before and I am saying it again: Ford should get to be a bit of a crybaby when regressed, as a threat 👏
He can unlearn the shame of crying better (speculation/hc since he's a man in his 60s--or late 50s if you want--that grew up in the 60s with a toxic father figure. I don't have a single doubt that Filbrick would've taught his children that. One way or another, even) when he's feeling small.
Plus, rather than supressing his fears, anxieties and etc he could just, let it out. It would be good for him, me thinks.
Yeah obviously it doesn't mean he would have a 180º change in attitude once he's done, and, hell, I think he would still try to supress it even when he's regressed and such, but I think the key difference is that he would struggle more to do so at that moment, and so he would end up in a puddle of his own tears.
And then later the shame comes since "boys don't cry", "men don't cry" and blah blah blah, but ya know, baby steps.
Or if he's with someone else he gets a nice hug and pets while he lets all the stress out.
He gets to be vulnerable, and soft, and to be the protected, as a threat.
#ever cried so hard you suddenly feel like you can breathe again? yeah he would benefit from it me thinks#what would make him cry I don't know#or maybe since he's not in adult mode he could get a bit more overwhelmed with things too#like multiple nightmares in a row#there comes a point where you just want to scream because you want to sleep!!! fuck you brain!!!#and him being little might have a bit of a hard time processing/rationalizing it#if I think about him too much I will be the one crying ough#he should get to be soft and pampered and spoiled a little#he deserves it#I also thought Fiddleford could help him too?#like Fidds is like “it's okay to cry hun just let it out” and so and ough#that could be for another work#I kinda started a series I think so I'm slowly introducing stuff#like in the next one Ford finds out that Stanley knows about his regression and such#Fidds will appear in a future work and etc#agere#age regression#fandom agere#stanford pines#ford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls age regression#gravity falls little space
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kisses him kisses him kisses him
@naffeclipse you've seen this one but I'm posting it today for the serotonin boost, so have a callback to the first doodles <3
*self insert is not a girl (he/ she)
og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!
#post let luce#dcamv#bloodstain fool#menace4menace#naffeclipse#my art#i did tax stuff and work emails on top of my normal work today and im still catching up on sleep#so i need to set this loose (luce) in the wild and get some serotonin from watching my self indulgence pop up in my notifs#also bc there is simply no brain left to do anything else today#tomorrow. i did all this bs today so id have a mostly free day tomorrow#i wanna just. soak in self indulgence for the evening#eclipse help me do my taxes please i need someone to validate my frustration with this program#how dare they call it magpie? i like magpies i dont want to associate them with taxes of all things#okay no yeah im. getting off track in the tag ramble so im just gonna hit post. gnight enjoy <3
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Where's the WIP Thursday post? Is my Tumblr glitching? /Genq
i didn’t post it actually bc i didn’t finish it. i’m exhausted and overworked and busy and miserable rn bc it’s exam season and winter, and i got overwhelmed and just…stopped posting?? i’m sad and ashamed bc i WANT to be posting. i dunno. i’m skipping my morning class tmrw bc i hate it so i’m praying really extra hard that i’ll have the energy to write tmrw
#i literally have the fic written in my head too i’m so frustrated#i hate it when my brain doesn’t let me do the hobbies i enjoy?? for whatever reason#noooooo we gotta sleep and sit in bed and doomscroll and feel like shit about it later. i’m sure THATS helpful thank u brain#ask
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Didn't felt like mentioning it immediately but shoutout to my sick and twisted brain for getting so triggered by an unexpected Christmas parade that I ended up havin the absolute worst panic attack of my entire life (potentially the only real one? I've had a couple other episodes I thought of as panic attacks but they were not even close to that so who knows) to the point where I spent the very last day of my 30th year on this earth in the ER, good times, good times 😊
#that was 10 days ago and i honestly was fine immediately after it ended so don't worry for me <3#but yeah this shit was crazy holy hell#like i knew intellectually that 'feeling like you're dying' is a symptom of a panic attack but *actually* feeling it is another thing...#and even at the worst i was like 'ok i'm clearly having a panic attack it's not nice but it's gonna be ok'#but there was a piece of my brain that was like 'ok but what if your mom or grandma had told themselves that...'#'when they were having heart attack? They would have died and so will you 😊'#and i was like shit can't argue with that better get my ass to the hospital before i die#spoiler alert: i didn't died#ironically enough the revolting state of our healthcare system is lowkey what helped me calmed the fuck down#because i was tiny but i do remember when my mom had her heart attack and they sure as hell didn't let her wait for 7h+#so when i realized that this is what was gonna happen after i spent a brief moment with a nurse i was just like...oh i'm fine actually lol#and then i had to go take the bus in my fake crocs that i usually never wear outside of the house smh#interestingly enough my phobia of hospital seems to have competely disappear! which makes me believe that it was more a trauma response#than an actual phobia#not that the name changes that much but still interesting development#also no i'm not wearing a mask because nobody gave me one#that's actually one of the thing that made me leave lmao#oh and btw the christmas parade is true but also a bit more complex than that#basically i had a full sleepless night and i was mad so i decided to go buy myself some weed#turned out that there was a huge christmas parade 5 minutes away from the weed store so i hade to find another way#and then i got lost on the way back#and saw no less than 3 big fights between different homeless people#including one man randomly kicking another man's dog (which kinda really messed with me tbh)#and then i smoked a big joint (first one in like 10 days) with 0 sleep and zero food in my body#and then i took the bus#and then the bus driver yelled at an elderly man for not waiting at the right place#and then i took a sip of water and for some truly strange reason my brain decided that the water had gone in my lungs#and that i was actively drowning#and the rational part of me was like...girl that's not what drowning feels like what are you even talking about??#and then my brain went 'well if we're not drowning than we're having a heart attack'
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Pokemon AU Rival Moe calls Alfonse "A Fucking Loser" after he wins and then it either gives him some potions or straight up heals his whole party. Moe wins against Sharena and apologises so sincerely OR Sharena wins and Moe enthusiatically congratulates her and hypes her up without a hint of animosity. Moe wins against Alfonse and truly does not know what to do w that information, this is unprecedented, until Alfonse ever the good sport hits it with the "You fought well ☺️" and Moe malfunctions and explodes
#moe tag#moe's status as an asshole rival or friend barely even rival is entirely dependent on if you're alfonse or sharena.#moefonse dynamic is always so funny to me like. despite knowing better moe really can't help but both idolize and resent him.#meanwhile i think alfonse can sniff this out right away and acts accordingly. entirely depending on what his goals are here.#which are. subject to change. depending on the mood of the day.#HELP WAIT. THE. i'm so sleepy but the. 'can't help but idolize/resent him' IT LITERALLY HAS A MIMIKYU........ COME ON.#mimikyu you are so famous... to me.#i need to sleep so bad but like. the sillies..... in my brain......#another thing that is so fun in my head though is moe being this pint sized freak of a thing#and alfonse being the normalest guy in the world NOTICABLY taller and more built than it#and he just. lets moe harass him and bully him and push him around. this is enrichment for him i think.#i think the key here is moe is never actually meanspirited and alfonse oculd break it in half.#adn fhey're... best friends...... just like really bad at it.#moe lore
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Perhaps my psyche is too fragile to immerse in this kind of stuff...
But because I'm sensitive and empathetic i care about it.
But because not much of it kind of starts making me fall apart.... i can't really do much. It feels like a lot but is barely anything
I want to do more than research and post things on tumrblr and facebook...
But perhaps i should put my own oxygen mask on before i try to help anyone else....
By then it'll probably be too late to help in any meaningful way.
#dilemma#ukraine#russia#i get involved in these stupid little comments#on YouTube and fb#if i look at them and they dont like me i literally cant sleep all night#i defend Ukrainians to everyone#i defend antiwar russians#i defend some opposition from each other...#i advocate for ukraine prisoners by.. posting on oppositon russians and get no notice#i post fundraiser for Ukrainian who needs help and no one looks#i watch stuff that probably dmagws my brain in unforseen ways#i watched stuff yesterday and#today im like crying at everything#i think of it at night it goes around in my head. if i cant sleep i fall apart#my one project is at dead end..#othrr project is like... will this do anything#im too small. like i screamed on fb and they thought “influencer#meant insta influencer. i meant just peace for ukraine influencer. they never even noticed my posts ;(#i want to get ir degree and#help understand world and fix it . lol#i want to get psych degree and make a camp for ukrainians with ptsd#art and horses animals nature...#lets see. how much fantasy is that.#i want to use osint to find ukrainians#is that even a thing#in some way focusing on ukraine makes me a better person#purpose makes me feel less like dying#artyom kamardin said in last word hes not emotionally stable and prison is hard fkr him.... 💔#anulia said he was emotionally stable before hand but after... i know i couldn't survive any of it.
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"we got 2 hrs of sleep, let's start the day 🥰✨"
No, brain, we went to sleep at 12 and work up at 2, why do I have to keep informing you 2AM is not a "good time to wake up", not is 3 or 4. Let me go back to sleep, the sun won't be up for another 2-3 hrs u ass-
I don't know how it manages to actually FUNCTION on said 2 hrs, and seemingly prefers it.
Tho it does result in more of me humanizing my brain and sometimes a little bit of extra delulu-ness so it's certified not 100% function
#i am tired but i will not sleep no matter the amount of hrs i lay after i wake back up#there is no 'going back to sleep' and it is ridiculous#i literally had to shortly deprived my brain of oxygen to convince it to let me sleep help#by that i mean holding my breath not like suffocation#might have to do it again bc it actually worked the first time but also#that is not smth i WANT to make a habit of man-#“oh how do you deal w sleep issues” i hold my breath like a toddler throwing a tantrum until my brain gives in and lets me sleep#i can remember the last time my brain let me have more than 6 hr at once#and not a single hr was willing#maladaptive daydreaming until i tucker put the fuck bc it never seems to shut#the scenarios role until thw position r hasy and the characters r acting out of script#once i was moments from falling asleep and was screamed awake by my brain like fuck man u rlly gotta be like that?#i could feel it would have been a good sleep toooooo 😔
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me + mayhem going on a stupid silly hike for my stupid silly mental health
touched grass and i am normal again (lying)
#i will get back to drawing soon let me just sleep for a few years shdjhkfds#anyway photo credit to mayhem again i cant take pictures to save my life lol#btw the caption is obvs reference to that one hike video tiktok i think so credit to that also its not my joke#anywqay it was nice did help me a little bit#been feeling a bit down due to some personal problems ykno#and also due to not being accepted into a med uni I rly wanted to (but didn't put enough effort I'll confess) and that almost no one getsin#but i was only missing one point o(-( i was the first in line outside the capacity limit hasjkdhsahd#even tho my brain is rly small for it lets be real hfjsdfhksd but like hhsdjhshdjkhd those biches at physiotherapy baited me hdsjd#mqf i have failed you lol#also i have accidentaly gotten back into one piece as I do for like two weeks periodically every few months or so dhjsdhk#so im revisiting my olde blorbo trafalgar which is just reminding me of a fact that this was one of the fuckers my itty bitty young self -#- wanted to pursue medicine beacause of lmaoooo#bad timing one piece fixation!! bad bad!! sdhhdjshdjakshd#whatevrrr whatevr whatevr io dotn care! enough of that hahhskj#but hey as some of u may remeber im czech so haa whats up with the mountains right since we are very cute and 'down to earth' state hahaha#its cuz its actually from austria :))#we went hiking there since theyre co by kamenem dohodil as they say#fuck english has the exactly same saying im moron that ruins my whole thing hjdsk 'a stone's throw away' whatever ignore that ig hahhah#so yeah very beautiful very powerful go touch some grass lads#also they are not stones throw away i was lying but close enough-#also random czechs stop jumpscaring me in other countries challenge why was there so many of us horrible horrible horrible
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BELLUM. it's bedtime and I'm yawning but I am being kept awake by sheer feels alone HELP
#is that a fucking gremlin ?? ( OOC. )#(( Elsa using her ice as a 'therapy' / treatment for helping with Spinner's chronic pain tho#will it work ? maybe a lil maybe it's not super effective and even if it helps it's not a total 'cure' like#nothing is gonna take away all the pain and make it entirely 10000 % better#but the fact that she's even TRYING something knowing that it might work#knowing that it might be what others would consider a 'waste' of her energy ; just on the off chance that it helps him even a LITTLE#hi leave me alone I have thoughts#I should sleep since I have to be at the store at 7:30 tomorrow morning BUT-#follow the simple rule of noticing my online presence after 10 PM#''if ye see ... let it be''#dfjhklsajfalkfa I'm sorry anxiety and shit has like. fried my brain lmao ))
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So. Everyone who yelled at me yesterday for making a ramble on Reynie going blank and then not resolving it, this is for you: (@lemondropletters, you have been tagged)
Also, it's in a Google Doc because it was definitely too long for a Tumblr post, and ~~I don't know how AO3 works~~
The (vague) premise is that, instead of Constance seeing Curtain's broadcast, they all get to the compound mentally sound, but once there, they split up to look for Mr. Benedict, and instead Reynie finds Curtain. This is the wrap up of what would have happened in the last episode.
#I'm sorry if it's also garbage#My brain hasn't been letting me sleep the last two days so I've just been working on this#And also I've never tried writing fic before so it is highly likely to be bad#But it was certainly a fun experience!#I was like “Oh I'll just rewrite that first post in this new format and then add the notes I had in my drafts”#And from there it somehow spiraled into a five and a half thousand word mess#But I think I learned some things!#And I'm sorry Miss Perumal isn't more help I got caught up in the emotion and I just really wanted the kids to work it out themselves#Especially since Reynie is normally the driving force for those kinds of solutions#But without him it took a lot longer than I expected#Also be warned I use a lot more em dashes then I think I'm supposed to#And I was trying the technique of mostly using the adult's formal names since the main perspective is the kids'#But the point is that I did it. I tried.#And if it's terrible then I will just never do it again#I'm sorry I didn't know how to end it so it's kind of vague and abrupt#I hope it's fairly in-character I tried really hard but messing up character voices terrifies me which is why I've never tried this before#I am genuinely so sorry if this is hot garbage it certainly feels like garbage#Okay shutting up now. Again my apologies#the mysterious benedict society#mbs#reynie muldoon#kate wetherall#sticky washington#constance contraire#miss perumal
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#thoughts#personal#mental health tw#it's complicated because I both want to address how fucking unhinged I very publically am at the moment#for which I am sorry if you have noticed#and also Not do that and pretend my weirdass behavior flies under the radar and I am being So Very Normal Right Now#which I feel we are past that point but also maybe who cares I don't think people notice but You Know#you get in the thought loop and then it's over#I used to have a private twitter to have weird meltdowns full of me immediately deleting everything I posted#and then I went “wow!! this is not happening anymore!! look at me being an adult about it!!”#and uhh lol#I didn't want it to happen here it's very humiliating to know you are Like This and not being able to affect it much#this too shall pass I suppose#normal posting (???) will resume shortly#I just get super manic when I have mental health cocktails like this + my brain Will Not let me sleep and I need to distract myself#all I want to say is: I'll be normal again at some point probably#it was on slow cook since maybe 9 months and baby it's here now#I'm supposed to go to my first industry event RIGHT after a very very tense burial and I'm already so disheveled like girl what#I'm so going to begin screaming at an industry legend for no reason and then immediately lock myself in a bathroom#anyway. common sense and self control will be back soon#and there are good chances I'll delete this post too at some point!! but. yeah.#it is what it is tm#hope you are as okay as could be#and if not all the courage and strength your way#sending many angry blue ganonpigs your way too. hope that helps! somehow!
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Head hurts eyes burn almost 2am but my brain is going "no you're fine, go crochet"
#help#my brain is evil#it won't let me sleep#crochet#hmmm#i think my eyes shut off for a second#the world blinked
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I just realized with all of these Futurama clips I save on my phone for no reason, I could literally be posting them on here smh
(CW: Alien blood ?? Idk, just to be safe)
#futurama#zapp brannigan#kif kroker#show clips#I forgot which season this is. I think it’s 5 ?? Idk my brain is fumbling and searching the quote on Google isn’t helping#Plus different websites and apps show the episodes in different seasons sooooo#I know it was before season 8 tho#Someone please let me know cuz being sleep deprived does not help
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Fml. I have mental illnesses for real fhat arent just garden variety anxiety and depression <- sorry it turned into a vent/rant in the tags. The perilous poster
#THIS IS NOTHING IM FINE !!!#i just had to remember earlier that sometimes i dont get to be myself#and i drove through my ahit moms town for no reason#and we got a kitten and of course i feel like the only one reasonably concerned#so idk if my concerns are valid or if im overreacting and i dont know how much of my worry is justified#what if im just being a party pooper?#ANDDDD on top of that i dont know where the kitten is rn. and its fine. ots fine#but my mind keeps flashing me images of him stuck somewhere or hurt or somethinf#and i was supposed to be watching him but i left to make food#but my family keeps going 'oh lets do a small trip' so i dont add anything to the list#and then they get a bunch of bs and i dont get any food#WE DONT NEED COSMIC BROWNIES MAN I NEED TO EAT A REAL MEAL THAT MAKES ME FULL PLEASE GOD#and our older cat hates the kitten and im worried the stress is gonna kill him because hes fucking 19#agghh aaghhhhhhh and i cant keep up with everyone and im overwhelmed and i think im just like#upset because i havnt had real food but fuck man idk what to do about that#i coukd bike down to the store and get a sandwich#but my stupid brain keeps going 'if you leave the kitten will die and its your fault'#even though thats not fuckong correct#and i just. aaghhh. aaghhhhhh#and im overheatinf rn but i cant go to my room bc aforementioned kitten desth prophecies#and i. just. aaghhhh ghhhhrrhhhh ghrrrr#im fine im fine i just need to complain i need to be a bitch#ANDDD im tired cause i coulsnt sleep which isng helping#god ive been having a bunch of panic attacks lately too i stopped having them so much after quitting school
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