#HELP I CACKLED
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Ey, how you doin with yer uh marriage? Happened real quick- so uh- congrats! How come I wasn’t invited to the weddin?🤨
- @scouts-numba-1-blog
Because my whole team was there, and I don't think some of them are exactly fond of ya...at all...
#HELP I CACKLED#scout tf2#blu scout tf2#tf2#team fortress 2#blu tf2#tf2 ask blog#tf2 rp blog#scout team fortress 2#blu team tf2#team fortress two
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Title: “Jojo Kaisen”
Book cover excerpt: “Appreciates Gojo because it's just one word different from Jojo. J also sounds like G. Coincidence? I think not.”
If you scroll down long enough you will see some Jujutsu Kaisen nestling between the Jojos. Can I interest you with a pair of JoBoxers?
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“The amount of Jojo amidst the Kaisen will blow your mind!” — The Guardian
"Certified yapper!" —The New Yorker Book Review
"AAAAHH SATOSUGU AAAHHHH" — Rea Pearson, The Observer
[ayo I just learned of your blog last month so I hope my summary is apt enough...?]
the summary is very apt excluding the non fandom reblogs which most sly consist of random animals/humans doing weird stuff
this truly was our jojo kaisen
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HELP LMFAOOO99
further proof that crowley is a self insert
#such a way with words#so eloquently said mr gaiman#literally the entirety of crowleys dialogue#<- prev tags#good omens#HELP I CACKLED#crowley#crowley good omens#ineffable husbands#neil gaiman#the sparrow squawks
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𝜗𝜚 BACKYARD BUNNY! — RORONOA ZORO.
synopsis. it's just your jinxed luck on halloween night to come home to a shattered window and a completely downturned house. well, guess what: surprise, motherfucker. the culprit is a hot guy in your bed with bunny ears and a cute tail, and now it's up to you to fuck him through his heat. wc. 4.9k (!!)
tags. dom top reader, bunny hybrid! zoro. reader has a cock, zoro has a pussy. marathon sex, lactation, squirting, cowgirl, mating press, prone bone, cunnilingus, (bit of somnophilia), cum-eating, creampie(s), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, scent kink, fingering, cockwarming, virgin! reader, zoro's also secretly a virgin lolol.
It wasn’t the first time you had seen this bunny before. You had noticed it lurking in your backyard a while ago. Strangely enough, it wasn’t eating any of the plants, so you had paid it no mind, even occasionally leaving carrot greens and blueberries for it to eat.
You squinted. And frowned.
“What… what are you looking at?” it panted out, cheeks flushed so dark a red you’d thought steam would come out of its ears. It was deeply embarrassed by something, desperately grasping the sheets of your bed as if it wanted to bury itself into the mattress. There was a shiny trail of drool running down the side of its chin, and it gave a low whine as you continued to scrutinise it shamelessly, ears coming down to cover its burning face.
But this bunny was different.
For one, it was much bigger than the one you saw in your backyard. It also had the face of a human, the body of one—mostly, save for the ears, the tuft of chest fur, and the cute fluffy tail right perched right above a round, perky butt that pushed itself temptingly in your direction. Presenting itself to you. It was all too inviting—you couldn’t help but follow the crease of its ass, lower and lower… until you reached the end of it.
Squished between two beefy thighs, was a glistening, fat pussy.
And above all… it was green.
… Somewhat. The hair was, anyway.
You must’ve made a noise of surprise or something, because the bunny—man—peeked out from behind his ears, letting out a shaky sigh as he followed your gaze. “Fuckin’ pervert. Gonna stand there and ogle all day, or what?” He wriggled his hips with a seductive smirk, the pink insides of his soaked cunt clenching purposefully as more slick squeezed out from his hole and dripped down his thighs.
God. How was he leaking so much?
You shook your head, coughing as you tried your best to avert his gaze. All of these were just distractions, and this was just too far. This man—stranger—intruder who had broken into your house and was now intruding on your private space, was clearly messing with you. You couldn’t believe you had thought this was your backyard bunny. And now that your evaluation had come to an end, you were more than pissed. “Is this some kind of sick joke?”
He arched an eyebrow. “What?”
You snapped, “You. This. Which one of my friends put you up to this? What kinda halloween costume even is that, anyway?”
The bunny looked exasperated, more than anything. “You think this is a halloween costume. Are you dumb?” He scowled, tail twitching as he shot you a sharp, disapproving glare, his earlier debauched expression and demeanour having completely disappeared. “I came here to take care of my heat. What luck it is, bumping into a fucking virgin.”
How did he even know that? And what did you being a virgin even have to do with anything? He started to get up and leave, but you shoved him back face-first onto the mattress with more strength than necessary, making it bounce.
“What the—”
You climbed on top of him, forcefully restraining his wrists behind his back with one hand as he tried to turn around, the other pinning his shoulder to the bed with all of your weight. “Where do you think you’re going?” you growled. “You fucking thief.”
“It’s Zoro,” he gasped out, and you could feel just how hot he was beneath your hands, powerful back muscles rippling beneath your touch. He could easily subdue you. Maybe. But he wasn’t trying to, for some reason. “And I’m not a thief.”
“Explain what you’re doing here, then.”
Zoro sighed, almost as though he were explaining things to a child. Which you weren’t. “Are you still under the impression that I’m wearing a halloween costume, of all things?”
You frowned. “What else could it be? You some kind of mutant?”
He scowled again, not liking the term that you used. “It’s called ‘hybrid’. And I’m not in the mood to explain how our anatomy works to you.”
Swallowing, you stared down at him, at two twin bunny ears peeking out from short green hair, a delicious red flush dusted on his neck and broad, sturdy shoulders, the cute perky tail that you found yourself wanting to squeeze, to see if he would be sensitive there. And that pussy. Fuck, it was practically drooling for you.
“You’re a… bunny,” you murmured distractedly, gaze locked onto the cute nub of his clit, peeking at you shyly from behind his sopping folds. You swallowed harshly. Everything about him was beautiful. “A bunny hybrid. Of a sort.”
“Yeah,” he breathed. “Whatever you wanna call it. So, now that I’ve explained things. Let me go.”
You gripped his wrists tighter, displeased with his authoritative tone. Like he was in any position to be making demands—you were the one who would be calling the shots here. “Just because you’re a bunny hybrid thing doesn’t give you permission to break into people’s houses. You didn’t explain shit.”
“I’m here, like I said, because I need to- need to take care of my heat, okay.” Zoro bit his lip, head turning to the side, the tips of his ears flushed. “Can’t do it alone, n’ it’s coming real soon.”
“Your heat? You guys have heats?” You blinked, taken aback. “Couldn’t you just—”
“Gods, if you’re not going to fuck me, stop asking so many questions and let me go.”
“Nah,” you retorted. “You broke into my house, still. You broke my window, and my living room is in a complete mess. What were you even trying to do, if you weren’t stealing?”
“I was…” he paused, ears shielding his face as though to hide from you, a habit you realised he did whenever he was embarrassed or shy about something. “Your scent, it smells really good, okay? I was finding things with your scent on them.”
You scoffed. Scent? What was he on? You were pretty sure you smelt the same as any other normal person did. “Flattery won’t get you out of this. It wouldn’t be fair if I just let you go.” You hummed, a wicked idea suddenly invading your mind. “Let me think. The media will have a field day about this if I turn you in...”
The body beneath you tensed, the atmosphere completely changing from somewhat playful to solemn in mere seconds. “...You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, I would.”
“I’ll… slice your head clean off.”
You crinkled your nose at the strange threat, but continued nonetheless. “I’m sure you can, in this position.” You smirked at his expression, leaning down to mutter hotly into his ear. “Stupid Bunny Breaks into House on Halloween Night, Scaring Tenants. And then there’ll be a photo of you riiight under. Wouldn’t this just be shocking news? The world’s first bunny-hybrid, found at my house. I’ll make sure to tell them all about the intricate details of how you tried to defile my eyes with your… state of undress.”
Zoro was quietly red with anger, and something more. Humiliation, you thought. It was just fun to watch his reactions to your groundless blackmailing. You stifled a laugh. “You should’ve seen your face. I’m kidding, bunny—”
Before you could get another word out, the world was roughly flipped. You yelped as your back hit the mattress with so much force, a heavy weight now settled onto your lap as a strong hand gripped your throat. There was also something else. A good, tingling sensation down below. There was something warm pressed snugly against your crotch, sending stings of pleasure up your spine, making you moan.
The hand on your throat tightened. “Pfft. Did you get hard just from watching my cunt?”
“Wh- at?” you gasped, struggling to speak. Zoro rocked forward, his front rutting against your very much awake cock, wet folds dragged up the bulge of your pants. “Wait. Wait, Zoro, hold on—”
He paused at the mention of his name, but paid your words no further attention. He was way too focused on pleasuring his needy cunt, small moans slipping past his lips as he watched the way your girth rubbed against his cavern, the way you were so hard your cock practically threatened to burst out of your tight pants. “Hnn. It’s… big enough, I guess.”
“Big enough?” you scoffed. “I’ve been told it’s much bigger than average, as far as I’m concerned.”
That was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that.
“We’ll see about that,” he breathed. “Take off your pants.”
“Wait. You want to go all the way—?”
He lightly squeezed your neck, shooting you a glare, which would have been effective in scaring the shit out of you if it weren’t for his cunt clenching needily against your length, distracting you. “Take. Them. Off.”
“Okay, geez…”
You unzipped your pants, and he got up from your lap for you to tug them off. You stared at him, trying to act unimpressed. “What now?”
“Boxers. Take ‘em off.”
“At least save me some dignity—”
Zoro had enough. You watched as he practically ripped your underwear in two, making your wet, leaking cock spring out. You were about to protest, but then you caught something in his expression that made you pause, eyes widening. Hunger.
“Fuck. Put it in already,” he muttered, climbing back on top of you as he grabbed your poor cock, already lining it up with his weeping entrance. The blunt head managed to slide out every time despite all the slick, and he whined in frustration, one hand gripping your shoulder for leverage. “Why’s it not— why’s it not going in?”
“Let me.” You slapped his hand away, pumping your cock slowly and getting a wet glossy glide of pre-cum all over it, and Zoro watched, eyes fixated on the way it leaked, the prospect of this going inside him, stuffing him full. Your hand crept up from below, and he shuddered and leaked as a finger brushed against his sensitive slit. “Gonna open you up first, stupid.”
He stared at you, lips parting as though he wanted to say something, but then looked away again, giving a small nod. “Hurry.”
“Don’t rush me.” You continued to toy with the entrance of his slit, starting to slide one finger in. He was so wet that it went in without resistance, sweet-smelling slick dripping all over your hands and thighs, and you put in another one, starting to scissor and stretch him. “It’s really- wet. Is it s’pposed to be so wet?”
“Shut up,” he panted, both hands now gripping your shoulders, squeezing. “Just happens when I’m- really aroused. I told you—my heat’s coming.”
It made you feel… good, knowing that he was so aroused, and somewhat because of you. You hummed, curling your fingers inside, earning you a sharp gasp and a quiet, almost petulant whine. “What happens during your… heat? Any, uh, precautions, stuff like that?”
Zoro frowned. “Hmm. No. J-just… fuck me good, and don’t stop.”
“... Huh. Sounds easy enough.” Continuing to thrust your fingers in and out of him, you reached a thumb out to play with his swollen clit, but he growled, grabbing your hand and pulling it out all the way. You’d never heard a bunny growl before. It was kind of hot.
“Put it in. I’m ready.”
“So needy. I’m not going anywhere,” you sighed, stroking your cock a few more times, getting his slick all over your shaft. Shuddering at the sensations, you lined it up with his hole, rubbing it over his folds. “Gonna make you scream, bunny.”
You yanked his hips down, at the same time thrusting up hard, and he wailed out loudly as you bottomed out, trembling where he was, seated perfectly on your cock. The wet lips of his pussy stretched perfectly around your girth, clenching with a squelch as a creamy, milk-white fluid began to leak out. “Oh, f-fuuck.”
“Did you just cum?”
“Sh-shut up!” he cried, jerking upwards, the action causing more slick and cum to drip out of his soaked cunt. “It’s just the edge off, come on, fuck me already.”
“Think it’ll be better like this,” you murmured, arms wound around his waist as you reversed your position, gently pressing him into the mattress beside you with you still deep inside him. You recalled all the videos that you had watched before—there was something called a mating press that you really wanted to try. It was primal, filthy and powerful, and you really wanted to put this bunny back in his place.
Zoro shuddered as you grabbed his thighs and folded them towards his chest, whining as it slid in even deeper. “Fuck me,” he repeated.
You started to move, shallowly thrusting into him, the glide thick and easy. And Lord, did it feel good. He was looking at you with bedroom eyes, lewd moans bursting out of his parted lips, grinding back against your cock as his pussy swallowed you up whole. He clenched around you every time your cock grazed something that made him see stars, so wet you could feel his slick smear onto your balls every time they slapped against the curve of his ass.
“Yes, fuuuck, yes,” he whined out as you started to pick up the pace, the pleasure almost cathartic. “Hnngh, fuck me, fuck me—”
And that plump, muscled chest. It practically jiggled with every hard thrust, erect nipples peeking out from soft fur, practically calling out for you to suck and bite and ruin. And you did just that, diving down to take his pec into your mouth, suckling hard enough to leave a bruise as he let out a shocked whine, shuddering in your grasp. So he was sensitive… there. Fuck, you would’ve never thought you would be so into pecs until you met him. He was bloody irresistible.
Zoro fisted the sheets next to his head, desperately holding on as you fucked him brutally into the mattress, plundering his insides in the most pleasurable way possible. “Close,” he panted, squeezing your bicep to get your attention. “T- touch me.”
“I am,” you replied, looking up where you were, latched onto his now red and swollen nipple. You gave it another hard suck for good measure, and he arched his back with a cry, shaking his head.
“Not there. My- my clit.”
You considered it. He was still leaking, and you were preeetty sure from the way your cock was pounding into him, his clit would be stimulated as well. He wasn’t asking nicely, either.
“No.” You retreated, thrusting into him with renewed vigour, aiming at the spot inside him you knew would make him tense up with pleasure, with the single purpose of giving him the best hands-free orgasm of his life. “Cum on my cock, or don’t cum at all.”
“M-mean,” he protested, but his eyes rolled back the moment you went back to sucking on his nipple, shaky whines spilling, hands clawing down your back and leaving scratches that you were sure would scar. One final powerful thrust and then he was crying out, legs trembling and cumming all over you and the bedding. Something flavourful burst on your tongue, and you latched harder onto the perky nub and sucking hard, like you were trying to pull something dirty from the depths of this bunny.
You paused, reeling back.
“What the… fuck.”
Zoro was doing the thing where his ears came down to cover his blushing face. “... ‘S just milk, don’t worry.”
“Milk? You lactate?”
“Not really… only during my heats, sometimes.” He sighed shakily, plain relief written all over his face as he rubbed and smeared milk over his nipples. “It’ll go away if you stop touching my chest, if you’re not… into it.”
“You kidding?” You stared at him, incredulous. “You lactate, and you forgot to mention it to me before we, you know…? And of course I’m into it. Don’t stop- don’t stop making milk.”
Zoro looked positively embarrassed. The way you worded things was just downright ridiculous—you didn’t fuck like a virgin, but you sure talked like one.
“Doesn’t— d-doesn’t—hngh, work like that,” he moaned as you took his nipple between two of your fingers, rolling the nub in between as more milk squeezed out, dribbling over your fingers. You brought it up to your lips to taste it, and it was too sweet, too divine. Was this even milk? You wanted more.
“How else would it work, then? Never mind that, you taste really good…” you murmured, kneading one pec as you sucked on the other, warm milk entering your mouth like ecstasy. Zoro was letting out high-pitched whimpers, writhing in your grip as you attempted on sucking him dry, one hand gripping your hair as the other dug its nails into your back, teetering on the edge of pleasure and too much.
“S-stop…” he sobbed, “I’ll give you more later, so stop, okay?”
His cunt squeezed around you, warm and wet, begging for your attention.
“Fiine,” you relented, giving a wet parting kiss to his swollen nipple before drawing back. “You better make it up to me, bunny.”
“It’s Zoro,” he growled, and you shivered at the memory of him choking you, earlier. “Not bunny. If you’re going to fuck me, ‘least call me by the right name.”
You sighed, starting to thrust into tight heat again, dragging your cock against his tight walls, relishing in the feeling of them gripping onto your shaft, as though reluctant to let go. “You’re so strict. It’s no fun at all, bunny. And don’t get the facts wrong—you were the one begging me to fuck you earlier.”
“Fuck me,” he simply repeated, pants slipping out.
“Sure, I’ll fuck your needy cunt.” You pulled out, lazily stroking yourself above his suddenly empty pussy. Pre-cum dribbled onto his slick folds, sliding into his cunt, and you watched his frustration contort into confusion as he furrowed his brows, because you were doing the opposite of what you promised. “Turn around, bunny.”
“Don’t want to.”
“You want to get fucked,” you said, “but you don’t want to listen.”
He levelled a wary look at you. “What do I get if I do as you say?”
“Your heat,” you muttered. “I’ll fuck you for as long as you like.”
Zoro’s eyes snapped to yours, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lip. “For as long as I like, you say?”
“Yeah.”
“It goes on for days, sometimes. I won’t even let you leave this room.”
“Whatever you want.”
He nodded, finally satisfied. “Okay. It’s a deal.”
Zoro shuffled, reluctantly turning around, laying on the mattress on his stomach as he watched you cautiously from the corner of his eye. You swallowed at the sight of his cute, fluffy tail, and it twitched at you. The folded lips of his pussy peeping at you, squished together under a perfect round ass. “Get on with it,” he gritted out, and you were glad to obey.
Zoro woke up to burning heat.
He was still lying on his stomach, sweating and trembling with his joints aching, a low heat stirring in his abdomen. Fuck. Was it his heat already? He had anticipated it would be coming, but not this soon. He propped himself up on his elbows the best he could in his groggy state, only to cry out as something wet and filthy swiped past his slit.
“You’re awake, bunny,” a voice muttered, and shit, Zoro must really be hearing things. The thing—a tongue, licked up the slick at his entrance lazily, smearing saliva all over him. “You can go back to sleep, y’know. This is a secret thing between me and your pussy.”
“What—are you talking about?” he moaned, burying his face into the sheets as he allowed himself to be consumed by pleasure. “What secret thing—”
It hit him.
A blurry figure holding him down by the neck, yanking meanly at his sensitive ears, pounding his sore pussy from behind, the wet clapping of skin against skin, the arousing blend of degradation and praise, spanking his tail whenever he tried to snark back, pumping him full of cum until it dribbled messily out of his cunt—fucking him so brutally he thought he had died and went to heaven.
It all came back to him within a matter of seconds, and then so did you.
You were eating cum out of his pussy.
Zoro whimpered as your tongue breached him again, and he pushed his ass back eagerly, slick leaking out. There was a pillow placed comfortably under his crotch, it seemed, for easier access.
“... I passed out,” he stated.
You hummed into his folds in affirmation, the vibrations making him shudder into the mattress.
“More,” he murmured, grinding his clit against the pillow, whining as you gripped his ass, tongue digging into the tender parts of his cunt. “Want you inside, my heat’s started.”
Your eyes widened, and you pulled back slightly to gaze at him, licking your lips. “Has it? Doesn’t feel any different.”
“You’re not the one in heat,” he sighed, hips continuing to rut down on the soft pillow, mindlessly chasing any sort of pleasure he could get his hands on. “But- I think it started earlier. When we were fuckin’. Hurry up and put it in.”
You gripped his hips tightly to make him stay still, knees caging his thighs and already complying. The bulbous head of your cock pushed against his pussy’s lips before sliding in with ease, the overwhelming warmth making you shiver. “Oh, fuck,” you groaned, bottoming out as he enveloped you whole, sucking you in deep like a greedy vacuum. Zoro whined in response, hands trembling where they clutched the sheets. “Bunny, shit, relax.”
“I-I am relaxed.”
You were both overstimulated, as it hadn’t been that long since the last time you had fucked him. Every drag of your shaft against him burned, but it would never compare to the fire lit by his heat, insatiable and all-consuming. You reached forward, towering over him as you grasped his hand, pressing it into the mattress. Offering him… comfort. It was the least you could do.
Zoro was leaking again.
Milk dribbled down his chest and onto the bed, and you flipped him over to taste him again. He whined but didn’t make any further protests as you leaned down to suck at his nipples, playing with the sensitive, leaking buds. You didn’t stop moving, not until he came twice, cream oozing out from between his throbbing folds, overloaded. Staring down at him, you frowned, dissatisfied.
“Gonna make you squirt, bunny,” you told him.
“Y-yeah? ‘s gonna be hard.”
“I’m gonna make you squirt,” you repeated.
“Okay,” he whispered, closing his eyes. He was already accustomed to how stubborn you could be.
You rolled your hips, loving the feeling of pussy wrapped around your girth. He was so tight, clenching around you with every thrust, drenching your cock with cum and slick and it was all too good. You wanted to make him feel even better. You wanted him to sing. Pressing a thumb to the top of his pussy, you started to stroke him in circular motions, stimulating his clit while you fucked him.
“Fuck,” he panted, because you were finally giving him what he wanted after making him cum untouched for hours. “Harder, please—”
You did just that, rubbing growing frantic, and his lips parted to let out a plethora of moans and whines, too fucked-out to form actual words. His cunt only tightened around you, a thick, creamy ring gathered at the base of your cock with just how much slick it was leaking.
Zoro was drooling openly now, and his expression looked exactly like the one he used when he had been trying to seduce you on your bed, just a tad more lewd, with his eyes half-lidded and his tongue lolling out. Cockdrunk. Satisfaction rolled through you like a violent convulsion, because this one wasn’t at all an act.
You had reduced him to this state—an animal in heat, no more no less. A pretty, slutty bunny, drunk on big cock.
“Zoro,” you moaned, head falling onto the mattress next to his shoulder as you took him. You were drunk on pleasure at this point, hips rocking back and forth while you played with his cunt relentlessly. “My pretty boy.”
He choked, a shocked moan bursting out of his lips as you pinched his clit with little care, but that wasn't all—the moment ‘Zoro, my pretty boy’ registered in his head, he threw his head back with a loud cry, because his pussy decided that she loved your words.
“Hnnngghh!” he sobbed out, ears stiffening and jaw slackening as he clenches around you with a vice-like grip, something like a waterjet shooting out of his gaping cunt, squirting all over you and your cock. “Fuckfuckfuck, I’m cumming—”
He was crying, legs jerking as they wrapped around your waist, only to squirt again as the action forced your shaft against his clit—and the sight was almost enough to send you over the edge. You plunged your cock deep into his overstimulated pussy, burying yourself to the hilt before cumming inside, shaking and groaning.
You were sure he had screamed.
“Zoro,” you murmured, and watched as he fought down a smile.
Zoro. Not bunny. Zoro.
Thinking back, it was quite funny that this was what made him squirt in the end.
He looked down at where your hands encircled his waist, firm and protective, seating him on your cock. You smelt of sex and him, coupled with the musk that he became absolutely obsessed with after catching a whiff of it in your backyard, and all of it was driving him crazy. He sighed, burying his face into your neck.
Fuck. He was going to fall in love with you before he knew it, and you were just his heat partner. A human. It didn’t make sense for a human and a hybrid to get together.
“Zoro?” you tried again, and he hummed. “You okay? Is your heat gone yet?”
“No. I told you, it lasts for days.”
“Oh.” You shuffled a bit from under him, the warm heat that stretched around you making you shiver. You bit your lip, staring at him—the side of his jaw, his muscled body, the scar on his left eye—and then his less human-like features, from his bunny tail to the fluffy fur on his chest to his long ears.
“What’re you thinking?” he grumbles, blinking an eye open to look at you.
“Your ears. Can I touch them?”
“You sure didn’t ask when you yanked on them earlier. Bastard.”
“Sorry,” you said, grinning. “You seemed to really enjoy it, though.”
He punched your shoulder, and you pretended to yowl in pain.
“... Touch them all you want.” I’ll have to leave after this ends, anyway. And then we’ll never see each other again. At least... not in this way.
Containing a smile, you carefully took them into your hands, and he shivered, a flush coming up on his face. They really were pretty. And sensitive. You noted that for future reference as you brushed a finger up its side and heard him whimper, clenching around you.
“Thank you,” you murmured, and you meant it. He was lending you a part of him that he probably spent years building walls around, keeping himself safe from being perceived only by his appearance. You hoped it wasn’t just because of his heat that he was doing this. But you could only hope.
“Stay,” you told him, but it came out more like a question, uncertain and wavering.
“What?” Zoro looked at you confusedly. “I’m not leaving until the end of my heat.”
“After that,” you breathed. “Stay.”
“I can’t,” he sighed, shuddering at your firm gaze. “Not for too long. People will start to notice, n’ then those headlines will really exist.”
“Then come visit,” you said, softly, taking his hands into your own and squeezing. Like usual, you didn’t say, because at the end of the day, he was your backyard bunny.
He looked at you, feeling like a crater had been dug out from his chest. He squeezed back. “Okay.”
You kissed him, loving the feeling of him under your touch, the strength, the sureness. His sturdy hands, one on your shoulder and the other on the back of your neck, pulling you closer. His heart was beating steadily against yours, and you found yourself loving its rhythm, too.
On the day Zoro’s heat ended, you woke up to an empty bed.
kinktober masterlist! main masterlist!
#kinktober ‘24!#✧ blood of reptile.#dom reader#top reader#zoro x reader#zoro x male reader#top male reader#dom!reader#dom male reader#one piece x reader#one piece x male reader#zoro#one piece#zoro smut#one piece smut#sub character#roronoa zoro smut#roronoa zoro x reader#zoro x you#sub!character#male reader#x male reader#roronoa zoro#bottom character#op x reader#sub one piece#bottom male character#op smut#kinktober#a/n: HELP i cackled a shit ton while i was writing this‚ hope you lot enjoyed <33
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#haha#cackling#i could not help myself#too good#too freaking good#omitb#omitbedits#omitbedit#only murders in the building#father of the bride#movie#movies#filmedit#filmedits#gif#gifs#gifset#3x9#mabel mora#steve martin#selena gomez#martin short#look how young they were#charles haden savage#oliver putnam
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Y'ALL READ THIS NOW OR I WILL FIND YOU AND TIE YOU TO A CHAIR WHILE I READ IT OUT LOUD TO YOU
Chapter 1: From Tradegy to Fantasy - Awakening in Another World
Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader
Warnings: reader's death, language
Genre: Isekai, Romance, Fantasy
Synopsis: Your life takes a tragic turn as you perish in a car crash, only to awaken in a whimsical world of fantasy with none other than Jujustu Kaisen characters as its main protagonists. But as if that wasn't enough, you're about to marry the prince version of Gojo Satoru. How will you navigate through this world of history and fantasy? Does your life take the same sudden twist of fate as that of your favorite characters?
Next Chapter ->
„Are you reading those strange stuff again…What was it called? Manga?”
“I’m only watching the anime because of that hot blindfolded guy.”
You don’t even try to look up from your phone, currently reading the newest publication of the Jujutsu Kaisen manga over some sketchy site online. That hot blindfolded guy…You’ll never understand why some girls are only watching Jujutsu Kaisen because of him, Gojo Satoru. This world has so much more to offer, so much more than this overpowered character not even Gege himself likes.
“It’s not exactly reading”, you mutter, so sunken into the drawn fight in front of your eyes that you simply can’t look away.
“(y/n), come back to reality. We have some classes to attend.”
Out of instinct, you roll your eyes. You’ll probably have to listen to that one professor who always talks about himself and simply reads through his presentation for three hours straight, not even allowed to look at your phone and do something useful instead. Urgh, being an uni student sucks.
“Give me a minute, I’m just finishing this chapter.”
When your friends start walking, you follow them without paying attention. This is it, the fight you’ve been waiting for. Maybe this time someone is able to defeat Sukuna, maybe this will be the day you’ve been waiting for. Fuck plot armour, fuck all the horrible things that happened last, all the beloved characters that had to die. Damn, you still miss Geto to this day. If they would have noticed sooner, he might be still alive-
“(Y/N), WATCH OUT!”
You always wondered about how death must feel like. Getting consumed by darkness, getting dragged into sheer empty space. Does it hurt? Will you die right on the spot and feel absolutely nothing? What about that myth about reminiscing your own life shortly before your death?
The second you looked into those blinding car lights, you knew exactly that you are next, that there is no way you’ll survive the hit that will sweep you off your feet, that throws your body into the air like a plastic bag.
How pathetic to die like this. Getting hit by a car while being glued to the sketches of fictional characters on your phone. What will your parents say, your family, your friends? You don’t want to die like this, but still…
You allow your eyes to rest against your harsh light, your phone dropping to the phone. You can’t escape the hit. Maybe, just maybe, you will wake up in a better world.
If stuff like that even exists.
When you open your eyes again, you brace yourself for an immense wave of pain hunting down your body, for getting greeted by those way too harsh hospital lights. But instead, your eyes open with ease. Instead, you get greeted by the dim light of a golden chandelier in and a well-painted ceiling in all different shades of purple.
“Where on earth…Am I?”, you mutter to yourself.
The second you look down on you, your heart drops to the floor. You aren’t wearing a pair of leggings and an oversized tee like you always do. No, you are covered in the softest white fabric you ever felt from head to toe, an elegant lavendel ribbon tied around your waist. And that delicate jewellery...
Immediately, you yank out of bed and almost trip over the hem of the white dress, coming to a stand in front of a mirror.
This isn’t possible. No, this has to be a feverish dream. Maybe they put you into coma after…
You swallow hard, reality hitting you with full force. You died. As soon as the car hit you, you were dead right on the spot and you knew it instantly. But why does everything feel so damn real? Frantically, your hands wander around the sweaty face that looks back at you in sheer horror through the mirror, stare at the lavendel eyes that don’t look like yours at all. But those facial features, the way your hair falls.
Is it…you?
A violent scream escapes your lips before you’re able to stop it, guts turning so uncomfortably that you feel like puking every minute. This can’t be true. This can’t be your reality now…Just before your feet give in, you grab the cool golden frame of the mirror, allow your spinning head to rest for a second.
“Lady Zenin, are you alright!?”
That distant voice, who is it talking to? Lady Zenin…Like Toji, Mai and Maki Zenin? Maybe you didn’t die but got kidnapped into a pervert cosplay party. Slowly, you turn around, face sticky in cold sweat.
But the man standing in front of you doesn’t look like a creep at all. No, he’s a truly elegant man. Maybe in his 50s, but it is clear that he’s taking care of himself. His eyes look at you worried, his gloved hands stretched out in order to help if you fall.
“Where…Where am I?”, you press out.
This isn’t your hometown. Fuck, this isn’t even your home country, not even your timeline. The stuff in this room looks so old and somehow magical, let alone that dress you’re wearing.
“I don’t understand, Lady Zenin. You are in your room”, the man replies visibly worried.
“What country?”, you probe.
“My lady, we are still in Avaloria…Are you feeling unwell? Shall I call the doctor-“
“In Avaloria. And I’m Lady Zenin…”, you mumble to yourself.
This doesn’t make any sense. You didn’t pay that much attention to geography, but you know for a fact that Avaloria isn’t a real country and that your last name definitely isn’t Zenin. But oh that last name is definitely familiar to you, so familiar that it’s frightening. Suddenly a shiver runs down your spine, dark foreshadowing letting your fingertips shake.
“What is my father’s name?”
You don’t want this answer. No, all you want to do is waking up from this dream, from this nightmare. You aren’t a lady, you aren’t a Zenin. You are nothing but plain (y/n) who adores anime and manga a little too much and still goes to university. You are nothing but a normal young woman.
“Your lordship…Your lordship is called Naobito Zenin, my Lady”, he stutters.
“And my brother’s name is Naoya, huh?”, you huff out.
This has to be a bad joke, right? What is this man, a stand-up comedian, maybe? You cross your arms in front of your chest, force your body to stop shaking. You need to put this madness to an end right now.
“Yes, exactly my Lady!”, the man in front of you literally cries out in relief while the ground is pulled underneath your feet.
No, nothing about this is right. These men, their names…They are nothing but an invention by Gege Akutami, nothing but drawn figures in a book adapted into an anime. They are nothing but fantasy, nothing but fiction.
“B-But…”
Your voice fails as your mind can’t process anymore. Is it really possible that…You were reincarnated into a world like this?
“Are you causing a scene again, sister?”
You don’t recognize the voice speaking behind you, but something inside you tells you that if you turn around, you will be greeted by…
Cold, sharp brown eyes.
Your very own orbs widen in sheer horror. Those dark green roots, the annoyed look on his face, his tall muscular frame. He looks exactly like the manga made him appear. But instead of wearing a kimono, he is dressed in a black uniform with golden and purple details.
“You’re looking like a fucking prince…”, you breathe out.
“Are you trying to upset me, (y/n)?”
“Master Naoya, the lady doesn’t appear like herself today. Shall I call the doctor?”, the older man speaks with low voice.
“Did you have a bad dream?”
He grabs your chin before you’re able to stop him, his cold glare hitting you with full force.
Naoya just touched you. Fucking Naoya Zenin is standing in front of your very own self, his fingers wrapped around your chin, staring at you so intensely that you feel like fainting any given minute.
“Don’t you dare to mess today’s meeting up because of your weird acting. It took father and I months to arrange a meeting with that lousy prince. Let’s hope that he finds liking in you or else I’ll marry you below your status”, he hisses into your face.
“You can’t just arrange my wedding. Who the hell do you think you are?”, you spit into his face out of instinct.
“All the attention must have gone to your head, (y/n). Who do I think I am? I am your big brother, father’s right hand. And you are nothing but a woman. Your only worth is to marry into a wealthy and influential family. I will never understand why the prince of our country found a liking in you. Apart from a pretty face, you have nothing to offer.”
He yanks your chin away roughly, forces you to take a few steps back and almost sends you onto the floor with the sheer force of his fingertips. Your body quivers in anger, hands balled into fists so tight that your knuckles stand out white.
“I don’t need a prince, I know my own worth you fool!”, you demand.
“Who taught you to talk like this? You are a lady, (y/n). Finally start to act like one or I will tell father about your behaviour. Maybe a venesection will cause your mouth to finally shut, what do you think?”
“A vene-what?”
“Urgh, just be quiet and get yourself ready. You will meet the prince as soon as you are presentable. And don’t you dare to disappoint us”, he hisses through gritted teeth.
And then he’s gone in the wind while you stand in the middle of the room, still unable to catch your shaky breath. Who the hell does this guy think he his? Where exactly are you, what world is this? Your head begins to spin so violently that you fear to lose your balance, your whole life crashing down on you like a house of cards.
This isn’t 2024 on mother earth anymore. This…this is something completely different. And that man who introduced himself as your brother made it all too clear that there’s no way you’ll survive here if you don’t play along. Maybe it’s like in that anime you just watched, the one with the girl names Raeliana. If that’s the case…
“Please call in my maids. I wish to be dressed”, you speak out monotone.
“Of course, Lady (y/n).”
You will play along. But there is no way in hell you’ll let him force you into a marriage with some strange prince you don’t even know. Your eyes are fixated on themselves, the new lavender color gleaming back at you being so unknown as well as all those women who scurry around you.
Who is this prince, anyway? If you’re really in some strange jujutsu kaisen verse, it must be another character. Maybe Geto…Oh, that would be nice. But what if it’s Sukuna? You shake your head, haunt away your stinging imagination. No, you won’t marry the king of curses. Actually, there aren’t many men you’d like as your husband.
How is this supposed to turn out good?
-at the salon-
You feel like fainting any given minute, heart pounding so roughly against your well-dressed ribcage that every beat sends a shiver down your spine. If the man standing in front of you isn’t called Geto or Nanami, you don’t want him. And apart from that…Aren’t you too young to marry anyway? Why does your family want to get rid of you so badly?
“It is so nice to finally meet you in person, Lady (y/n).”
Your heart drops to the floor.
That voice.
Fuck. It’s no doubt that it’s him.
“Let me introduce myself properly: I’m Prince Satoru, the future king of Avaloria.”
The second your brother steps aside, you get greeted by bright blue eyes and a cheeky grin.
This is Gojo Satoru, that “hot guy with the blindfold”, one of the last men you’d like to marry even if he’s dressed in a fine suit with red and blue details. Out of instinct, you cross your arms in front of your chest, narrow eyes staring him into the ground. You will never understand the hype behind his smile and eyes when it’s all too clear that he’s a player, a womanizer. A man like Gojo Satoru isn’t the husband you were imagining, not the man you were looking for since you were a child.
“I’m not marrying that man”, you announce into the silence of the room.
Soo, this was the very first chapter of my new series and it makes me beyond excited! So please, if you enjoyed it, it would make me beyond happy if you like/comment/reblog that work of mine and let me know what you think. Thank you guys so much for your constant support, it means the world 🤍
Tags: @m0k0k0 @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @risuola @fire-loving-siren @sunshine7queen @gatitam @kentocalls
#lee's brain food#lee's brain moots: ponderingmoonlight#gojo x reader#omg ok ok time to unpack#first of all:#“reading from a sketchy site online”#y/n is so real for that#“the hot blindfolded guy not even gege likes”#HELP I CACKLED#“getting hit by a car while being glued to the sketches of fictional characters on your phone. What will your parents say”#probably “that sounds like her” LMFAO#“you are nothing but a woman”#oops uh#i think i just accidentally castrated someone#my bad#“apart from a pretty face you have nothing to offer”#well that's still more than you have to offer naoya#“i don't need a prince i know my own worth you fool”#LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK#YOU TELL HIM Y/N#“i'm not marrying him”#well i mean#not what i would have said#HOWEVER#i understand where you're coming from y/n#he is a little shit but we love him nonetheless#ANYWAYS#this was so so good car#like already so invested and i love the way you wrote y/n she's so relateable#i can't wait for the next part!!!
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He loves his wife so, so much.
#my art#artists on tumblr#loz#doodles#tears of the kingdom#loz tears of the kingdom#tloz tears of the kingdom#legend of zelda#king rauru#queen sonia#rauru#sonia#totk#totk sonia#totk rauru#rauruxsonia#tloz#tloz totk#fan art#the legend of zelda#gotta thank a friend for helping me with the blur on the last one#i cant stop cackling at this gadjhsaa#loz totk#I havent seen this meme with rauru and sonia so i wanted to change that >:D
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This screenshot is so damn funny for no reason 😭😭
#failboy and gothwife real#look at Chuuya sticking to the wall like a cockroach#And Dazai dying beside him#Idk i can't help but cackle looking at it ejbgjlt#cockroach Chuuya canon#skk#soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#silly#silly skk
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skilltober day 19: hand-eye coordination
(HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DESIGN THIS BASTARD.)
#disco elysium skills#disco elysium#hand-eye coordination#fanart#skilltober#skilltober 2024#de hand-eye coordination#my art#he's literally just piss yellow im sobbing#then again everyone in motorics is piss yellow#more on the “fingers as mouth” thing: they basically make the scissor motion with their second and third fingers to mimic lips moving#maybe im losing it but like...him using a crooked middle finger as a frowny face is really funny to me#the fingers on his right act as blinders sharpshooter style - when hes shooting they cover the eye to help w focus#tmbat i saw your post and cackled.... our designs are magic hand ring twins#i really dont like this but what can you do
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shout-out to the best book review I have ever read & will ever read:
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gojo who marries a non-sorcerer black widow reader who is incredibly frustrated that he survives every single attempt on his life
#bee chats#you don't understand how it's happening#sometimes you think the knife just doesn't touch his skin but that's impossible#he thinks it's cute#also it helps that the elders are absolutely AGHAST at the whole situation#this is basically the addams family values now that i think about it#i'm cackling to myself about this
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“Hwey!”
- The Captain
#HELP ME I HAVE BEEN CACKLING AT THIS FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES IT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY 😭😭😭#I’ve literally seen my cat fall on my bed in the exact same way 😭#he’s so stupid and so silly I love him so much#bbc ghosts#the captain#bbc ghosts spoilers
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Originally i had leshy undergo the same thought process as kallamar and heket but cmon. Come on. Look at that guy. do you really think anything goes on in his head other than dancing fruits and cocomelon
Also Bonus! Lamb doesn't know how to read any of their minds in the same room
#sydneys doodles#sydneys videos#cotl#cult of the lamb#cackles maniacally#after promising myself id redraw it after so long-#shamura#kallamar#heket#leshy#the lamb#lamb#tag yourself me personally im leshy#i think if kallamar had hir own thoughts here (if i could edit it) it wouldve been hot to go instead hELP
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Lae'zel flirting with my Tav in front of the WHOLE squad (and Tavs GF aka Shadowheart) caught me very off guard
#made me cackle (and blush)#Baldur's Gate 3#she got my respect for that though lol#Baldur's Gate 3 Fanart#Shadowheart#Lae'zel#artists on tumblr#comic#digital art#NO WORRIES!! They are a throuple now >v<#Shadowzel#Lae'zel sure is quite the poet#I absolutely fell in love with both Lae Lae and Shadowheart#one of the most loyal companions and every little sign of affection by her makes my heart go WHOOOSH#My Tavs name is Màlee by the way#She is a *very* tall and *very* muscular high elf Druid#she's an absolute softie trying to help every person she meets#the companions are working hard to protect her from getting into trouble just because shes being too nice again#bg3
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You're serious, aren't you?
About what I do? Yes, not necessarily the way I do it.
#dwedit#doctorwhoedit#doctor who#cdwedit#cwedit#classic doctor who#classic who#classicwhoedit#third doctor#thirddoctoredit#jon pertwee#jonpertweeedit#*mine#*edits#i've been watching/rewatching some three serials over the last few weeks#i've got planet of the spiders up next wahhh#three my beloved i just adore him what a doctor#my favourite classic doctor i think#i cackle every time he says 'hai!' i'm sorry i can't help it#this is very simple but i've never done that text effect before it's pretty cool
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I actually found mob! Howdy and Wally character.ai! Here: https://beta.character.ai/public-profile/?char=ehPv8PY3PyAHazrSVnPE1HMzhaDasjvQ1vfvHRa7AIg&username=MilThePerson
(It's actually a crazy ride cause I wanted to rizz Howdy but Wally came out of nowhere?? I didn't even know it could do that lmao)
Ps: I'm new on tumblr so if these look weird, i'm sorry in advance hehe
O YEAH I SAW LITERALLY AFTER I POSTED
I haven’t used it (yet) but my friend has and confused the shid outta those two KDHDGHD
#I CACKLED SO HARD CHCHDJDJJD#Love the image they chose is the straight up m o u n t a i n pic#I quite like the detail that Wally is also there#kinda helps build more dialog since Mob!Howdy is very quiet#Welcome home#welcome home wally#welcome home howdy#howdy pillar#wally darling#welcome home mob au#how many times has these two been rizzed up?#World may never know smhhh#WALTER WHITE CANON TO THE MOB AU????#No he’s not smh#But closest is Dr Stone Face#I keep forgetting his first name is Stone last name Face#So it’s “Dr Stone” technically#Or Dr Face for more professional shids
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