#HELP ? ? ? ? BRAIN NOT FUNCTIONING
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sick(?)
#messyr#doodle#vent art#?? well not really! just skl#coping through drawing bc its what keeps me from rotting in bed#my body cant keep up fjdshzhl and i just feel worse every time i try to 'function' even as basic tasks it makes me want to throw up AAAAH#this artist does not KNOW how to take care of themselves help help help help fsdjxhf#how am i supposed to fkin tell my dad nor my relatives im just so- PHYSICALLY- and MENTALLY TIRED without it perceived as lazy or an excuse#same goes to my professors bc ive been missing out ALOT in school lately and my classmates are also probably wondering where the hell I am#( group activities etc etc i want to km s - I've failed TWO MAJOR SUBJECTS BC OF HOW IVE BEEN DOING-AAAAAAAAAH)#if not physically then its my noisy ass brain that spirals me into depressive episodes where I literally cant do jackshit about
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I’m in a math class again don’t get me started on reading. Also math strategies are gonna fry my brain, the funniest thing is I’m considered the smartest student in whatever class I’m in I have no idea I hate it and especially in these instances because everyone think they got their answers wrong because I must be right 😭😭😭 please just let me be a dumb kid it’s too much pressure
#my art#comic#help me I’m dyslexic and people don’t understand how my brain functions#please don’t ever make me read things out aloud I’ll fall apart
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more kissy brainrot sketches
drawing these two kissing is the thing getting me through life right now :') why must things be so hard
#hollow knight#quirrel#the hollow knight#quirrelhollow#strange beast initiates the affection it deserves to initiate#i like drawing quirrel where he's just a little shaped critter#how does hollow kiss without a functional mouth? it’s the thought that counts#my brain is infested with these gay bugs i’m too far gone to be helped now#i promise i am also working on more detailed paintings im just aughhhhhhehehehhhhehehaugh#queruloustea
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keykid dump
#kh#kingdom hearts#khux#khml#keykid#kh player#kh brain#sou (keykid)#stray (keykid)#ok brains barely here but i might as well#this is also more sou than stray but thats just bc sou wont let me rest#anyway hi. im not dead. ive just been too keykidpilled to function#ive never felt as obsessed w any character than i do w my own damn keykid ocs. thats embarrassing right#like u have no idea how much theyve completely taken up my head#ive been writing down ideas as they come and i have over 60 . im p sure this has never happened to me before#send help im abt to make a twt alt just so i can post them more#myart
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Now seems like a good time to introduce a strategy to all my ADHD peers that I've invented so I wouldn't be Late to everything!
It's called...
✨️ Disaster Time ✨️
You know that feeling when you wait til the last second to do something and THEN it seems like THAT'S when everything goes wrong??? Right when you need everything to go smoothly?
You're thinking "the office is only 10 minutes away, so I'll leave 10 minutes before my appointment time!" And THAT'S when it happens; You forget to brush your hair, you can't find your keys, your wallet is missing, your GPS is glitchy, there's traffic, there's a detour, you hit every red light, there's no parking, you enter the wrong door, you can't find the room, etc. There's always SOMETHING.
I used to get SO MAD when everything would go wrong while I was on a time crunch. It seemed like when I least expected it, suddenly every object that could possibly get in my way would get in my way. I used to think, "The universe is out to get me 😔 No matter what I do, everything is gonna go wrong."
And that's when a switch went off in my mind...
Everything is gonna go wrong when I least expect it to!!!
Therefore -> I should stop being surprised and just. Expect it to!!
Every time!
Hence, the invention of ✨️Disaster Time✨️
Disaster Time (noun) the extra time you alot for disasters.
If you just KNOW something's gonna go wrong and then just PLAN for something to go wrong! Then you'll always be ready for it!
Because something is always is gonna happen, right? Something is always gonna go wrong. You don't know what's gonna go wrong, so instead of hoping nothing goes wrong and then being disappointed when something does go wrong, just alot some Disaster Time!
So you think to yourself "the office is only 10 minutes away, so if I give myself 10 extra minutes of Disaster Time for when The Disaster happens, then I'll leave 20 minutes before my appointment time."
Your assignment's due at midnight? Disaster Time! Make it due at 11:40 to account for when the [internet goes out / file gets corrupt / website doesn't load / grammar errors pop up ]
Your hangout is at 8pm? Disaster Time! Give yourself 10 extra minutes to [find your missing phone / stop and grab some gas / brush your hair / quickly eat a snack]
Work at 9? Disaster time! Leave 15 minutes earlier for when [you spill coffee on your shirt / your car light goes off / you forgot something and have to go back]
People used to tell me to do things "early" but I have adhd and time blindness! "Early" doesn't exist!!! "Early" is an abstract concept! And "early" isn't as motivating as "The Last Second"
So instead, alot a set amount of Disaster Time and adjust your "last second" to account for that pesky inevitable Disaster, and you'll always be on time!
If you EXPECT that everything will go wrong EVERY time and just *account* for that when you plan, then you'll always be on time!
#No joke inventing this strategy saved my butt so many times#i used to be the person who was late to EVERY social function#all because of the ''it takes 10 minutes to drive there so ill leave 10 minutes before it starts!'' mindset#Allotting Disaster Time has revolutionized my ETA to everywhere I need to go and my due dates for everything i need to do#anya rambles#adhd advice#adhd adult#adhd in women#adhd inattentive#adhd tips#time blindness#adhd problems#adhd things#actually adhd#adhd brain#adhd help#adhd issues#unsolicited advice#advice#adulting
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"i can't come up with a fantasy name for my world so i HAVE to use chatgpt to get the gears flowing" have you all forgotten what fantasynamegenerators.com has done for you
#we literally already have the resources people claim ai has introduced#'you're discarding a very helpful tool' we already have that tool in a thousand different varieties#and with the added bonus of not plagiarizing/lying/being utterly horrible for the environment#there are tons of prompt and name generators made for this exact purpose!#there are worldbuilding resources and lists all over the place!#need some music to listen to for inspiration? look up ambience playlists and you'll find tons with Real Songs!#there are whole composers on youtube who make fantasy specific music using talent and brains and it sounds better than ai cobbled noise!#people in creative communities have already used more functional forms of ai + actual brainpower to make you these resources!#if you would just spend 2-3 minutes googling you would find them!
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does anyone else feel like they become neurotypical while they're in the shower
#I know it's something to do with like the white noise/sensory input helping ur brain function properly or somethin#but I swear my ADHD just fully goes away for as long as I'm in the shower#and then as soon as I step out it shloops back into my brain#it's very weird#a lot of the time I step into the shower and I feel like my executive dysfunction fully goes away like I could do anything I want#and I'll start makin a to do list in my head like 'okay as soon as I'm done showering I gotta do this and this and this'#and then I step out and I'm like lol :P forgor#lyla's talking again#ADHD#autism
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googling 'how long is a hyperfixation supposed to last' and then sobbing profusely into my hands
#okay wait. cause i've HAD hyperfixations before#i'm neurodivergent as FUCK and i'm no stranger to the obsession#but. like. the other ones were MANAGEABLE#i could function fine#but this??? these silly gay losers??? these silly pathetic stinky guys (gn)????? i'm still LOSING IT FIVE MONTHS LATER#i'm still in that fucking bookshop weeping at the final fifteen#like thanks this is great i love the fandom i wouldn't change a thing but also. my brain needs to think ab other things to function so.#anyway this isn't a cry for help or anything eheh (HELPME)#good omens#crowley#ineffable husbands#good omens 2#aziraphale#aziracrow#go2#ineffable lovers#ineffable wives#good omens season 2#adhd#good omens brainrot#gomens#good omens hyperfixation
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symbol — for the single-word drive!
[AZEM /// THE TRAVELER]
#ffxiv#ffxiv oc#nira'sae#atlas#gpose#thank you ki'to for helping me get to this idea because my brain was. NOT functioning--#did i go a little too far editing this?#maybe. maybe so.#at deserves it though he doesnt get enough love from me at ALL lmfao#ask meme#ask answered
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VERY rough concept for a 3d modeled statue of Herbert West, just watched re-animator and it did something to me. Ive wanted to make and sell fan statues for awhile and this really lit a fire under my ass, but before i spend the next Several Weeks working on this it would help my motivation a lot if i got a vibe there are people in the world who would pay money for this lol.
I'm not sure how much it will be, since I'll likely be going through a POD provider since posting stl files online freaks me out, so final price will come up to how much production costs, but the ideal price rang is 20-40$ USD, with as minimal up-charge as i can allow myself. fans w disposable income tell me any and all thoughts <3
#reanimator#re animator#herbert west#reanimator 1985#reanimator fanart#reanimator herbert west#bride of reanimator#i specifically remember seeing a joke abt how reanimator fans r starved for content and i felt within my heart that i could help HSJKDHK#i dont really have the means or time or. executive functions to run a real business where i can paint these myself so just to really clarif#this would be a bit of a diy situation on the colors front#i would love to include like a paint guide tho i think that would be fun#this will come up to production price but ideally he will be 8-9 inches tall or taller. 1/10 scale Ish but jeffrey combs is so short it wou#ld be fudged to be a bit larger. technically 8 inches would be 1/8 but herbert is so small. it doesnt feel like 1/8#i might have to make the base a liittllee smaller for the sake of economy of space but id like to include all the details#economy of Your Space on whatever shelf you display him on#blood#tw blood#gore#tw gore#animal death#tw animal death#i might transfer that guys head into a brain if ppl arent rocking w the action figure of mr s crime.
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I just need to tell y'all that I just finished - as in, got paid and delivered final files finished - the BIGGEST art commission I have ever SUCCESSFULLY completed!!!!
#GUESS WHO ILLO'D A KIDS BOOK#and I did the print file layout so it can be delivered right to printers#adhd and art and me - actually finishing is a big deal#ames talks#children's book illustration#I wasn't even stressed or angsty#or late!!!#I was chill and on time for the most part#it's just good knowing you CAN teach the brain this stuff#my irl career has been so helpful to my ability to function as an artist
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girl over a year into a hyperfixation voice. I have GOT to learn morse code.
#EVERYONE KNOWS MORSE CODE#when the patcap hits.#it makes the patcapvers hits even harder#the idea that both havers and pat would know morse#and i have a vivid scene in my brain of cap being overwhelmed at some kind of social function#and getting frustrated and cant get himself out of it#and he's tapping in morse as a stim#and pat and havers know that when he gets like that it's time to help him#so they can sort of extract him from the conversation and get him somewhere quiet and calm him down#without having to say anythign#i dream of accessibility and understanding from someone like this#bbc ghosts
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excuse me i need to Muse on something for a moment
so in Wally's secret 'vinyl' audios, specifically the last few (if we're listening to em in chronological order), obviously he starts to sound more strained/distressed. his breathing is more labored, like it's taking all of his energy to make contact.
but the audio that really caught my attention was the "But i still can't see" one. cause he just said he has more eyes than he did before. he knows We draw them a lot, and it's thanks to that that he can see. but he still can't see?
so my question is: where is Wally physically? cause although he can (assumedly) see the WHRP goings on, he can see through the eyes We draw, that could all be on a, uh... more Intangible level of sight. like the spiral pit is forming an eye, and then there's the eye on the ceiling in the secret Staff Only section - could Wally be in the pit, that space between his reality and Ours, "watching" through the eyes? but unable to actually see with due to the pit being pitch black nothingness? is he somewhere else? is he stuck? he can see, but he can't... see.
(or is he trying to explain an abstract concept - he's not actually viewing anything, but he can sense it. like how he knows We're there, even if he can't see or hear Us. but he just doesn't have the words to describe it other than using physical senses - see, hear, look.)
and him saying "...that I can see. But it is still... I can't..." but it's still what, Wally? dark? something else that he doesn't have the words to describe, so he just says that he can't see?
i know that in the Livestream Trivia Document (compiled by @/the neighborhoodwatch) there was something said about Wally being in a box. my first thought reading that was "oh, so he's in storage? the physical puppet, i mean?" which would make sense - show's over, there's no more use for him. pack 'em up and put him away. but that paired with the "can't see" audio makes both seem a lil... connected.
Wally can't see > he's likely somewhere dark > the inside of closed boxes are dark > Wally's in a box. (or maybe the Neighborhood is the box? it's a stretch, i know, but the map is a box. television sets are often set up in "boxes". maybe it's less of a physical storage box and more of a 'boxed in' sort of thing...)
one question i've had since the Start of my interest in this incredible project is: how is Wally communicating? how has he connected to the site? how does he connect to our reality? the pit almost definitely has something to do with it - most likely acting as a bridge, or the deteriorating of the barrier between our two 'worlds' - but if Wally is in a box and Not the pit or even just in the puppet's reality... how is he reaching us beyond just seeing through the eyes he's given?
or is he in their reality, and he can contact through the pit or something, but he can't actually see the other side? Our side? he knows it's there - that We're there - but none of it is visible to him. maybe his apparent disassociation in the 14 bug audios is a demonstration of him contacting Us. we can see through him, but it's a one way street.
and speaking of the pit - i just had a thought. his whole thing with Us letting him in, opening... the pit on the neighborhood map is getting bigger and clearer. but the presumed Other Side, the one on the Staff Only ceiling, is small. it's the size of a ceiling panel. it seems to me that Wally is chipping away at his side of the pit or 'portal', trying to reach Our reality, but he needs Us to do the same thing on the other side. the QA can hear him calling, but there's no phone on their (Our) side of the pit. how do We call back???
there's a fundamental barrier & lack of understanding between Wally and the QA/Us. he's trying. he wants to be let in, but what does that mean, really? let him in where? open what? he's desperate. he wants us to understand. he's trying so so hard Without the right tools to clearly communicate what he wants. he can't see Us, We can see him, both know the other is there, but there's no way to connect. and the attempts are hurting all parties involved, however unintentionally
#and its very ah. Autistic/Neurodivergent Horror i think?#the Wanting To Explain but Being Unable To because the people you're trying to communicate with#function differently than you. they don't understand. they Can't understand. their brains are wired differently.#no matter how hard you try there will never be understanding. your attempts to connect are somehow Incorrect.#and often - in my experiences at least - being that Different gets you hurt. people perceive your actions/behavior as a slight.#or as intentionally malicious! and then they get mad and you just.. dont get Why? you didn't Want to hurt anyone. you wanted to Explain.#you wanted someone to look at you and Understand. say 'oh. i see you! i get it now!' and have that Connection.#but you will never be understood. never Seen nor Heard. left in the dark. you're accidentally hurting them. they're hurting you.#it takes all of your strength to try to reach them and yet you still. fall. short. because they don't reach back.#anyway ive had these thoughts simmering for a lil while#Knowing whether or not the bug audios are present day or not would cross some theories off and write up new ones i think#that confirmation seems Important imo....#homebogging#welcome home speculation#welcome home theory#then of course there's the question of how Home fits into all of this... in the early days i was a 'home is evil' believer but now??#nah. home's not outright Evil i think. there's something complicated going on between them and wally and its role in all of this#im just... unsure of what. i think confirmation of whether his morse code says 'help me' or 'hello' would massively help clear up the sitch#is home an accomplice? a victim? a perpetrator? a secret fourth option? who's to say (yet)#i have many Thoughts about it based on a couple different things - the distorted voice under wallys. the waLLy guestbook entry. etc#but this post has gotten long enough and its Not on that particular subject#*grips the bug audios & home's morse code* you two motherfuckers would clear so much up i stg-#the bug audio's timeline placement could tell us whether or not wally is with his neighbors or if the neighborhood is intact (in some way!)#home's morse code would give Major insight into their place in all of this!!!#AGH THIS FUCKING PROJECT MAKES ME INSANE. IT'S SO GODDAMN GOOD WHO AUTHORIZED THIS-#as always take my words with a Hefty grain of salt & i hope it's coherent!#anyway there's nothing more dangerous & all-consuming than the need/desire to be understood <3
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gonna be complaining abt feet until the end of time. anyways spider bernard wip :DD
I wanna do a cover art ish thing w it, so I'm also gonna have to learn how to do the spiderman font by hand bc yes i like to suffer
#i also still have to majorly fix the pose in some parts#i think i could've pushed it more yk?? it misses that oomph#tho tbf this is my first attempt eh#but still#should also probably get some sleep bc nothing in my brain is functioning which doesn't help when i'm tackling smth i barely understand#bernard dowd#dc#dcu#dc comics#spiderman benard dowd#spider bernard#spiderman#spiderman au#marvel x dc#dc x marvel#nicomoon69
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Dann in 'Flip that Coin'
#kingdom#the kingdom#dann#jeong seungbo#kingdomnet#nugudom#kflops#malegroupsnet#* my gifs#kd.gif#kd.sb#my brain is so mush rn and fighting a photopea glitch did notttt help#so if these look a little off sorry 😞 it was functioning much different than normal
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as we approach the start of a new semester i'm sending all the compassion and empathy in the world to students who struggle with procrastination and what I affectionately like to call the Shame Monster that goes along with it. it sucks to always be treading water and feeling like a fraud to yourself and others, especially when it's something you truly care about. if you're always thinking "why can everyone else be responsible and organized but not me," your brain is overgeneralizing. you're not the only person to experience being overwhelmed and stuck. and even IF everyone else balanced their life perfectly, that wouldn't make you a bad person for struggling. if you care about something but keep avoiding it and don't understand why, there is probably more going than you realize. if your physical and mental health are being neglected, then you're never going to be able to accomplish what you want to do because you don't have any gas in the tank. it took me crashing and failing last semester for me to finally admit to myself that i was suffering from some SERIOUS burnout. i had this whole plan for research i was going to do over the summer and all these opportunities i wanted to take advantage of that i couldn't do because i was neglecting to take care of myself. the worst thing my anxious brain told me could ever happen did happen and i'm still alive. i hope that doesn't happen to you, but know you can recover and come back better. also: it's okay to stop wanting what you thought you wanted, or to take a different path than the one you were "supposed" to. don't do things because you think other people expect you to, or because you think it's too late to change your mind. that isn't sustainable. your college experience is for YOU, not for other people. you can do this!
#these are things that have been said before and im sure other students have figured it out earlier than me#but as i go into my senior year this is the advice i would have given myself four years ago and the stuff im still trying to remember#so maybe it will help someone else :)#*me remembering how i flamed out 3 months ago* girl its FINE YOURE FINE#this was not my hot scholar summer. but it was my ''treat your depression and stop wanting to kill yourself'' summer so i consider it a win#still have makeup work to finish. i'll get there#also i hope this doesn't sound preachy#i have a significant amount of privilege as a student#i dont go to a prestigious uni but i have a full scholarship so i get to study want i want and not worry about loans (<- american)#i have professors who have been flexible with me and supportive family#i know other students have individual economic social familial etc. pressures that complicate what i said above#im finally trying to work with my brain as it is and get out of the AWFUL procrastinate->overcompensate cycle that i've been in for 3 yrs#i dont have adhd afaik but i find posts about executive function struggles EXTREMELY relatable in a way that is probably connected#to my anxious depressive brain#you can ignore my essay this is basically a therapeutic exercise lmao
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