#HE WAS SO NICE AND I JUST 😭💖

[midnight-the-goth-artist]

THIS PIECE HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN FATHER-APPROVED ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

I ALSO GOT TO GIFT HIM ONE OF THE FATHER CHARMS I FIRST MADE A COUPLE YEARS AGO

Pspspspsps

Father simps, come get your food

[sunshades]

and kurokumo ⛈️ + blade lineage 🕊️ as well..... steeples fingers.

[lovinglin]

hope you feel better!! 🫂- @cherubdulce

NOEL?????????????

OH MY GOD AAAAAAA??? I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS I'M I'M I'M 🥺🥺😭😭😭‼️‼️ THANK YOU

THABK YOU SO MUCH. GENUINELY I- GOSH 😭😭 THIS LOOKS SO CUTE AND NICE TO LOOK AT AAA... 🫶🫶💖💕💕💕💖💖💕💕💖

[hislittleraincloud]

DirecTor: *sweat-drenched and sore, tries to sneak in as quietly as he can*

AB Wednesday: *turns on the light with a click*

DirecTor: *jumps* Heeey. There. Kiddo. How goes it?

ABW: Hey there, author. It goes quite fine. *takes out her phone, taps the screen, turns it to me* But care to explain to me what I'm seeing here?

DirecTor: *squints* That's uh...that's the Lords of Acid.

ABW: ...I know. I'm asking about the scene behind Gigi. *taps her little black-nailed fingertip on the screen over my disabled Weeble ass gesturing to the crowd to show me their pussies*

DirecTor: Well uh...see...uh — I was...there.

ABW: ...I know. But how did that happen?

DirecTor: *swallows* Well. I was seated sort of off to the side near the stage entrance and when Gigi called for people to come up on stage for 'Pussy (Round)', the dancer pointed to me. Probably because of my shirt.

ABW: *purses lips, and I can't tell if it's out of anger or irritance* Well, it is an attention-grabber.

DirecTor: Yeah, tell me about it. I got a lot of grins and comments on the way to the venue and then at the venue. I'm on a shitload of peoples' clouds. How'd you get that video anyway?

ABW: *clicks it off after she sees Praga Khan giving me a hug at the end of the song* I have my sources.

DirecTor: ...

ABW: ...

DirecTor: It was Fester, wasn't it.

ABW: ...Perhaps.

✨👹🔥🫠🔥👹✨

So...somewhere in this world more than a few people have pics and video of my thicc ass embarrassing myself behind Gigi Ricci (the current vocalist for the Lords). Face reveal!:

This is actually a screencap from a video I took of myself listening to the White Girl Drama next to me before the shows started. I wanted to stick an icepick into my brain to escape her blathering. She was with her friend and they were both dressed as Coop Voodoo U devil women, full-on red body paint and all. But because of their drama, they left before the Lords even got to 'Voodoo U' (and it was on the set list). Like...the yappy one had fallen asleep at her table at one point and her friend looked a little concerned. I asked her if she was okay and she said yes, but...she didn't look ok 😬

I'm so tired. I'm too old for this shit, but it was worth it because it seems that every time I go out and do something like this, people gravitate towards me. I got to shake Praga Khan's hand (he turned to me before the song and shook my hand after I climbed the short stairs w my cane...I was shocked to have even been invited onto the stage by his dancer ETA: WIFE, I learned it was Inja, Praga Khan's wife 💀), and then he hugged me after the song was done. He's so little and frail 😳 But very sweet. I haven't let anyone touch me bc of COVID, but he was the exception. The man is a legend, and the Lords still have it.

Gigi was topless! She didn't have any X tape taped over her nips tonight, unlike during the Philly show (the vids I posted).

I did have to leave a little early (they weren't done yet) because I wanted to beat the crowd to BART and I didn't want to get stranded late in the damn Tenderloin. I made a friend...of course he is a cultured, older European (Dutch, LOL). He was sitting alone before everything started and looked a little lost (his friends didn't show up). He too needed to leave early bc he lives in San Jose and also had to catch BART back. We chatted quite a bit and stuck together during the show.

Anyway. I guess time will tell re: if I get sick. I shouldn't, bc I don't think my gear slipped and the venue was not packed...it was a comfortable half-packed hall, so people could actually socially distance themselves, or dance and move around. The crowd was pretty geriatric (like me), but there were quite a few younger Millennials there too. I really should have a headache from all the headbanging, but I don't (and interestingly enough, my voice isn't hoarse either, despite loads of screaming). My feet and legs are dead tho. I'll probably be bedridden for a couple of days.

ETA: The dogs were all asleep when I got back, and my old boy was fine. I love it when they're well behaved. Someone was trying to get their dog into the venue (when I arrived at the hall, there was a short line of people waiting to get in). I don't know if they succeeded, but I didn't see the dog in there, so. It was a small, white fluffy dog with a 'service dog' leash on it. Even if it was a real service dog (and I don't think it was), why would you bring the poor thing to a freaking Lords of Acid concert? It's not a goddamn orchestal symphony. The Lords are LOUD. I kept thinking how horrible it would be for my baby had I brought her. Too loud! She's used to loud Lords of Acid since I sometimes play the Afterburn soundtracks when we go out in her little front pack, but not THAT loud. Damn, people. That's just cruel.

[1980ssunflower]

feeling so happy to hear my ryans voice again 🥺💖💖

[eunhos]

.

[ham1lton]

NOT A CHILL GIRL.

pairings: lewis hamilton x chronically online fiancée!yn

faceclaim: jordana brewster

summary: chronically online, funniest on the grid, and the proud owner of a face card that never declines—at least, according to yourself. your fiancé might raise an eyebrow at the first claim, the world might debate the second, but no one’s arguing with the third.

warnings: just jokes. don’t take any of this seriously.

author’s note: hope u enjoy bunny anon! :D

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

liked by lewishamilton, yourinstagram and 187,938 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: celebrity stylist, and fiancée of f1 legend lewis hamilton, yn yln took to instagram stories to share some concerning posts. what do we think about these captions, ham1ltons?

view all 23,837 comments

yourinstagram MAMA I MADE IT

— user1 yn you have dressed some of the top celebrities and this is what you’re excited over??

— user2 forget that. she’s fucking LEWIS HAMILTON!!! and this is what she’s excited over???

user3 this is a v tame post for yn LMFAO

— user4 like she’s posted worse 😭

user5 she’s so unserious i’m obsessed

— user6 my fav wag

user7 i love the fact she’s dressing zendaya, showing up to her hot fiancé’s races and still finds time to shitpost

— user8 she’s so me

user9 she should be embarrassed. she’s grown

— user10 she will never see this btw

user11 i need to know lewis’ thoughts on these posts

user12 she’s the moment. i want to be her so bad.

— user13 successful in her own right AND secured the bag. #needtoBEthat

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

INSTAGRAM LIVE

yn i’m using lewis’ ninja creami to make slushies and sydney isn’t picking up her phone because she’s on set. so entertain me, my little gladiators.

user1 what flavour slushie are you making and why is it pure tequila

yn no. it’s a margarita mix. mostly anyways. all about balance babes.

user2 worst red carpet outfit request you’ve ever gotten?

yn girl some actor asked me to dress him up in head to toe camo… i wanted to be sick.

user3 yn, when’s the wedding? lewis is literally ready to propose again.

yn not until jungkook confirms he’s off the market. i need to know i’m not leaving options on the table.

user4 did you see lando’s post underneath your birthday post to lewis.

yn i did and i’m angry. how dare he be funnier than me on my own shitpost.

user5 who’s better at gift-giving, you or lewis?

yn me. obviously. lewis once got me a pen because “it looked sleek.” it was a nice pen, but still a pen.

user6 yn, if you could style anyone in history, who would it be?

yn harry styles but in 2012. imagine the chaos if he let me near those blazers.

user7 how did you guys meet?

yn via a mutual friend at a party. i thought his choice of shoes was disastrous and he thought i was funny. so obviously i went home with him that night. then i fell in love or whatever.

user8 you are literally the blueprint for chaotic but lovable. never change.

yn never will, little gladiator. never will.

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

liked by yourinstagram, thirstystan1 and 1,098,125 others.

lewishamilton: sunday best, thank you theststyle

view all 19,827 comments

yourinstagram why won’t this damn app swipe RIGHT?!?!?

— lewishamilton wrong app sweetheart

— yourinstagram oh shit 😓 can you show me how to download the right one? ever since ashley madison shut down and farmersonly.com banned me for “unsolicited flirting,” it’s been tough out here.

— lewishamilton maybe try clownsonly.com—heard they’re taking new members.

— yourinstagram wow. this from the guy who once googled “how to impress a bad bitch” and got caught.

— lewishamilton a bad bitch was impressed, wasn’t she? checkmate.

— yourinstagram yeah, well, don’t get used to it. also, happy valentine’s, loser. 💖

— lewishamilton happy valentine’s, clown. ❤️

— user1 y’all are some weirdos 😭🩷

user2 YN GIVE HIM TO MEEEEEE

user3 #NEEDTHAT

— yourinstagram #TOOBAD

— user3 YN PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

user4 need this relationship NOW

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @aliciaablueprint @theblueblub @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @landososcar @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @sainzluvrr @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr @tetetoni @ssprayberrythings @heavy-vettel @tashisgf @daniskywalkersolo @c-losur3 @lestappenslover @linoscrly (see yourself tagged when you don’t wanna be? or you want to be and don’t see yourself? send me an ask!)

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

[4giorno]

i was gonna be pissed that in the act 2 romance scene astarion says so many more... sweet? romantic? things if you dont talk to the blood merchant before it and i did talk to her. but now that ive thought abt it i think the one where you talked to her is actually better

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Frosty

Summary: Jeonghan ‘sneaks’ away from group activities to spend the day with you.

Oneshot 

Fluff, Established Relationship au

Word Count: 1,293

Jeonghan X Reader

Requested: I feel like I *should* be requesting for Pentagon bc who else is gonna request for our beloved nugus but like —--- building a snowman with hannie 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Prompt: 2. Building a snowman together 

------

You look out your back window, watching the snow come down making the blankets of snow higher. You sip from your coffee and feel at peace. You look over at your calendar to see if you have anything planned. When you hear a knock at your door, finding nothing marked for today, you make your way over to it. You peek through the glass to see your boyfriend, Jeonghan, shivering and waiting on the other side. You quickly open the door, ushering him in, “I didn’t expect to see you today!” He shrugs but gives you a small smile as he says, “I was in the neighborhood.” You squint, “But you live a city away?” He nods, “The boys and I are filming a Christmas video at the abandoned building on the corner of Millerd.” You smile, “So, you snuck away to see me?” He smiles yet shakes his head, “It’s not sneaking away if everyone knows where you’re going.” You laugh, “They caught you?” He pouts, “Yeah…” You shake your head at him and ask, “You want some hot coffee?” He nods, “I’d like that.” You put some water on, “Instant, good?” He nods, “Do you still have my creamer?” You smile, “I always buy it.” 

While you wait for it to boil, you sit at your dining room table. And Jeonghan, out of his winter gear, sits across from you. You sigh, “I wish we weren’t so busy this time of year.” He hums, “Me too. But at least we're together right now.” You agree and hear the water boil. You get up, put three scoops of instant coffee into his cup, and pour the water over it. You stir it before putting the cream in and hand him his cup before sitting back down. He hums as he sips it, “You always make it just how I like it.” You shrug, “It's only two scoops.” He shakes his head, “It means more than that.” You give him a small smile as his hand finds yours. You relax back into your chair, holding Jeonghan's hand while you look out the window. Feeling at peace as you sip away your coffee. He clears his throat, “Why don’t we make the most of the time we have today?” You look over at him, “Like how?” He cheekily smiles, “I have a few ideas, but why don’t we build a snowman together?” You smile as you shake your head before drinking another sip of coffee. Putting down your mug and squeezing his hand, “I’d like that.” 

When the two of you finish your warm coffee, you get bundled up in your winter gear. You look over at Jeonghan, and he comes over and tucks your scarf into your coat. You blush but reach up and tie the strings of his hat underneath his chin. He gives you a small smile, and after you pull on your gloves, you both walk outside into the freezing cold weather. You look at each other as you both shiver, which causes you two to burst out laughing. 

You quickly make your way to the middle of your front yard. You look at him and go, “It’s cold. We better do this quickly.” He agrees, and you move snow together to pile up at the bottom. As you push in another bundle of snow, he asks, “How big should we make him?” You circle to the front, seeing that you both made a rather large base and go, “He’s looking pretty good right now. What do you say?” He nods, “Like we should roll up the middle and head.” You agree, and while he works on the middle ball, you work on making the perfect round head. Satisfied with the size, you get up to see him finishing up the middle, “Want to help me lift it?” You nod and come over, and together, you roll it closer before placing it on the base. You both back up and tell him, “Woah, it’s going to be tall.” He agrees, and you both move over to the head. You both pick it up, place it on top, and position it to sit perfectly before looking over it. You high-five as you move around to sculpt it and make it look pretty. 

Once that’s finished, you pull out a bag you both prepared filled with items to give the snowman ‘life.’ You hand him half and work on the eyes. You stick the carrot nose in and look down to see the brilliant coal smile he gave him. He goes, “He’ll need arms.” You nod and look around your yard for any leftover branches from fall. You find a branch with three prongs at the end, the perfect hand. You stick yours on the right side, and he sticks his two-pronged branch into the left. “We did it!” You both high-five before pulling back to look at it, “It’s missing something…” It takes you both a minute before you realize, “Oh! He needs a hat!” You pull off your hat, and he gasps, “He needs a scarf!” He wraps his scarf around the snowman's sculpted neck, and it finally looks complete. 

You smile as you both back away, and he pulls you into his side. You lean your head against his shoulder. Taking in his warmth, you snuggle closer in. He kisses the top of your head as you admire the snowman you made together. He asks, “So, what should we name him?” You say the first thing that comes to mind, “Oatmeal.” He blinks at you before asking, “Oatmeal?” The two of you giggle, and he says, “Frosty?” You smile, “Frosty is a nice name.” You take a few photos of Frosty and a few of you both besides Frosty. You look over the pictures he took as he looks over yours. When you hand each other back your phones, you tell him, “We did a nice job!” He agrees, “We did!” 

He looks at you and then at the front door, “Let’s get back in! It’s cold!” You smirk, “Race ya!” You both rush inside, yelling the whole way to the door, having taken the cold for too long and wanting to win. He wins by a millisecond and opens the door for you both. With the door finally closed, you both giggle as you take your winter gear back off. He asks, “Tea this time?” And you agree as you both head to the bathroom. He turns the faucet on to cold water. And you both put your stinging fingers under the water, slowly bringing them back to room temperature.

When your hands are finally warm and dry, you ask, “How much longer can you stay?” He looks at his phone, scrunches his nose, and says, “Let me make a call?” You nod and lean against the bathroom door frame as he sits on the counter. He laughs as soon as the other person answers. When he says, “Yeah, hyung, can I?” You realize he’s talking to Seungcheol. He hums to whatever he said before saying, “Yeah, yeah. I know. But I’ll film my parts tomorrow.” He grumbles on the other end, and you laugh to yourself. And Jeonghan winks at you as he says, “Yeah, my cutie wants me to stay longer.” You blush yet continue to listen and hear Seungcheol go, “Okay-” Before he can say another word, Jeonghan goes, “Great, thanks, now, if you don’t mind, the two of us have lots to catch up on. See you tomorrow!” With that, he hangs up and hops off the counter before wrapping his arms around you. “I have the rest of my day with you.” You smile into his chest as you tell him, “I’m glad.”

[landoughnut]

Nurse He's Out Again

♡ masterlist - request - emoji anons

♡ pairing - lando norris x fem!reader (fc - brooke shields :)

♡ summary - just lando thirsting on the main and giving being a pr nightmare, also him fighting for his life in the comments

♡ warnings - horny/simp lando, crack, some fluff, some cursing, one kms mention

♡ w/c & a/n - smau | wanted to do a social media one cause i love reading them so much so here we are! i really love this actually so i hope you enjoy xoxo

landonorris FIRST liked by yourusername

landonorris holy shit baby 😍🥵

landonorris please date me fhsusnygds 😻💍

yourusername already am my love 💗

username WOWWW

kendalljenner stunning bestfriend 💋

yourusername love you 😘

username lando having her notifs on is so cute 🥹

username im in love with you.

landonorris NO I AM. STAY AWAY 😡

username LANDO LMAOAO

vogue 🤍 liked by yourusername

maxverstappen1 🔥📸

yourusername thanks max ☺️

maxverstappen1 someone tell me how lando's dating her

landonorris HEY 😟

charles_leclerc real max

yourusername the real question is how did i get so lucky with him!!

landonorris SHHH BABY NEVER SAY THAT 😣

adele my darling you look beautiful 🩷

yourusername i love youuu mother adele 💗

landonorris IM DATING AN ANGEL WOW PLEASE MARRY ME

yourusername i love you so much 😭

landonorris CBGHNCHD I LOVE YOU MOST BABY 🥰😍☺️

oscarpiastri lando fell to his knees in a walmart parking lot

landonorris can you blame me?? 🛐🛐🛐

username no we cant lando

landonorris it was a rhetorical question 👺

carlossainz55 my favorite model 🙏 liked by yourusername

username can lando fight?? 🥵🤤

landonorris YES GET AWAY SHOO 🤺

georgerussell63 bro can notttt fight

landonorris fuck you george

landonorris I CAN RUN YOU OVER INSTEAD

mclaren lando norris we're having a meeting this afternoon

mclaren looking absolutely stunning 🧡

yourusername love you admin 💋

landonorris FIRST liked by yourusername

landonorris DAMNNN BABY COME HOME AND KISS ME

username oh no..

landonorris ON MY NO NO SQUARE

oscarpiastri the second hand embarrassment i have rn

alexandrasaintmleux what 😟 yourusername ill save you bae

landonorris get me pregnant. 🫃

mclaren no we need you in racing conditions

landonorris you need me? that sounds familiar 😏🛌

maxverstappen1 MY EYES 🤢

mclaren REPLYING TO MYYYY COMMENT???

oscarpiastri ON MYY PHONE??

yourusername osc look away 😨

ladygaga so pretty 🤩 liked by yourusername

username 😻😍

landonorris get these heart eyes OUTTA HERE

yourusername BABY STOP HARASSING PEOPLE IN MY COMMENTS

landonorris "baby" 😍 anything for u wifey 🛐

billieeilish so fineee bby

landonorris SCRAM BILLIE

yourusername ILYY BILLIEEE 🤍

username lando is fighting for his LIFE 😭

username lando trying not to simp challenge level impossible

landonorris GUESS WHO SHE WAS SMILING AT YALLLLLLLL

yourusername i love you 💗 im always smiling with you 💖

landonorris I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY FUCKING HELL

username you guys are the cutest to exist

carlossainz55 yeah until you hear them talk about each other 25/8

landonorris shut up carlos your just jealous

georgerussell63 you're*

landonorris 🖕🖕

harrystyles gorgeous

landonorris bye.

landonorris i cant compete with harry 😨

landonorris GUYS DONT LET HER SEE THIS

charles_leclerc too late i just heard a scream from the living room where she is with alex

yourusername HARRY OH MY GOSH HELLO I LOVE YOU JEHXBUYTNEGBYGYGXE

landonorris im going to kms. someone pick my casket now. he broke my girl.

mclaren our favorite girl 🧡

yourusername FIRST liked by landonorris

username im obsessed with them being first for each other 🥹

yourusername LANDO PLEASE I CANT 😭

landonorris THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE YOURE WITH MEE

charles_leclerc NAHHHH LANDO

oscarpiastri MY EYESS

yourusername IM SORRY OSC BBY

landonorris dont call him bby 😡 im your bby

username "tell your baby that im your baby" 🥺

username HELPPP bros fed up with the comments

username LANDO HAS A MOMMY KINK CONFIRMED 😋

mclaren you're done buddy. no more mr nice guy. meeting at 5pm.

username ignoring the caption but its so cute that the only thing he posts besides racing related pictures is her 🥹 my heart liked by landonorris

username she's so beautiful wow liked by landonorris

username her smile is the prettiest thing ive ever seen liked by landonorris

maxverstappen1 lando... what about us 😣

yourusername BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN 🗣️🤺

username how the tables have turned...

landonorris YEAH YOU TELL HIM BABY ‼️ THATS MY WIFEY 🗣️

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alexandrasaintmleux SHE WAS MINE FIRST 👹

yourusername im still yours love 💗

landonorris thats not what you said in bed last night

alexandrasaintmleux NAHH UNDER MY COMMENT??

georgerussell63 lando mate enough is enough 😀

landonorris literally leave no one wants you here

mclaren you've taken at least ten years off my life

username SOMEONE SEDATE HIM✊

username someone needs to get neutered 🫵🏻

carlossainz55 NO MORE PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT ☹️

landonorris pov my wifey after round five last night

username FIVE????

alex_albon NASTYY YALL FREAKYYY

mclaren why do I even try 😞

lewishamilton NURSE HES OUT AGAINNNNN 😦

[starshine-selfships]

SHAI SHAI SHAI LOOK WHO I SUMMONED IN MY MUDAE SERVER

ITS YOUR MAN YOUR VIOLIN MAN 🎻 🦋

THERE HE IS

I'm so glad it not only uses one of the mobage cards but it uses one of the good ones as well ✨️ I was in a server with someone who used the mudae bot and I have seen SO MANY anime man get summoned through it,,, the chances of rolling him,, , absolutely miniscule,, a one in a million kind of boy gracing my inbox today 💖

Also, here is the full image that one draws from 👀

[meowzfordayz]

hashira accidentally touch your chest

Author’s Note: pls and ty enjoy this tidbit of crack-fluff. 😆💖

hashira accidentally touch your chest

Hashira x Reader

Word Count: ~1,600

CW: explicit language, Fem!Reader, mild sexual content

Suggestion Fulfilled: Can we get all hashira accidently touch y/n's breast

~faqs~

Fyi, “chest” means boob. I was just worried Tumblr would block this post from tags if I included “boob” in the title lmao. 😉

Shocked 😳😖

“I apologize, [y/n]-san, it won’t happen again!”

Gyomei’s nearly in tears, he feels so terribly 😞

“These things happen!” you promptly assure him, “Besides, you technically won the bout.”

No need to mention that he always wins when training together 🥲

“I cannot accept such a tainted victory.”

“Himejima-san, though I appreciate your concern and respect, there’s truly no issue.”

Meanwhile, Gyomei’s rethinking his entire Breathing Style to ensure he never accidentally touches anyone’s boob(s) again 💀 

In cold disbelief 😐😐😐

If you don’t say anything, then he won’t say anything

Alternatively, if you do say something, then Obanai will immediately curl up into a ball and die

Spends the rest of his day recalling the fleeting warmth of your breast

He swears his hand doesn’t even get cold, so affected by the heat of your bosom

Your boob must be ✨magical✨

“Iguro-san,” you call out gently, noting his dazed stare, his dinner untouched while he sits crossed legged, “Is something on your mind?”

“No.” 😐😐😐

Well okay then 🙃

“About what happened earlier…”

🫨🫨🫨 <— Obanai is FREAKING OUT

“… Iguro-san, I didn’t mind.”

And then you stand up, take your dishes, and leave

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEEEAAAN?!?!?!

Good luck finding Obanai tomorrow 🫡 (the poor man’s been pleasantly overwhelmed)

He’ll avoid you for eternity now 😌 (not really, but at least until he can breathe around you again)

She giggles 🤭

Lol

“Oh my! [y/n]-san, I didn’t mean to touch you so intimately!” 😅

“No worries, it happens.”

Your face may or may not be burning up a storm, but that’s okay!

Mitsuri’s blushing too

A lot 😳

“I hope I didn’t hurt you?!”

Because like, What if I gripped too hard?! 😭

She’s well aware of her own strength

“You barely brushed me, Kanroji-san. I promise!”

Phew!

She grins, relief evident as she bumps her elbow against yours

“Don’t tell anyone, okay? I would be so embarrassed!!!”

“Kanroji-san, our secret is safe with me.”

I wish it would happen again… <— lowkey both of you thinking the same thing 🤪

As a medical personnel (among other roles), Shinobu accidentally (or even on purpose, depending on where you’re wounded) touching your boob isn’t entirely unreasonable nor unrealistic

Obviously it would be nicer if she was caressing you out of love and affection 😔

And not methodically cleansing then bandaging claw marks that just so happened to cross over your chest 😒

“You should make a full recovery,” she’s all business, “The demon avoided your nipple and didn’t puncture deep enough to affect the functionality of your breast,” fortunately, you’re too exhausted to be embarrassed by her bluntness, “It has a nice shape. I’m glad you survived.”

EXCUSE ME WHAT?!?!?! 😃🫠

Now you’re kinda embarrassed

More so preening, really 🤭

It’s like when a doctor randomly compliments the rhythm of your heart or some other characteristic from a mainly professional POV, but you’re still caught off guard because who tf compliments someone’s kidneys or bowels movements or?????

In your pain hazed delusion, you briefly contemplate somehow getting your other boob injured too… gotta make sure you’re matching in (nice) shape, y’know? 😌

Kyojuro can be discreet, albeit more so for your sake than his

“I APOLOGIZE! I DID NOT MEAN TO TOUCH YOUR BREAST!” <— how he could react 💀

“Pardon my slip, are you okay?” <— how he actually reacts, because he isn’t entirely lacking in social awareness and decorum 😆

“Oh,” you don’t mean to squeak, but it can’t be helped when the most handsome man you’ve ever known just casually grazed your boob, “I’m fine! Totally fine! Haha!” 🫨😵‍💫🫠

You’ve gotta be more convincing than that, or Kyojuro will never forgive himself 😕

He’s a lil oblivious when it comes to physical attraction

Not like, infantly so, but given this particular circumstance?

He doesn’t realize you’re flustered; he assumes you’re mortified 😖

“You sound decidedly less than fine.”

He’s softer now, worried about startling you 🥺

“I was surprised! But don’t worry! I’m not worried!”

Okaaay, but he’s worried 🥲

“Is there any way I could make amends for my indiscretion?”

Not only is he handsome, but he is such a gentleman 😭😍

“Rengoku-san, there are no amends to be made, I promise. I’m not mad, nor do I feel unhappy or unsafe. I forgive you.”

Your regaining of the ability to speak in complete sentences greatly reassures him 😮‍💨😁

“Ah. Well. I am grateful for your kindness and understanding. It will not happen again.”

…

…

Hold up 🧐

Why does she seem… she seems… disappointed? Should I have said it will happen again??

You’ve suddenly given Kyojuro something quite pleasant to ponder 🤔

After all, he isn’t entirely oblivious 😉

“Are you going to apologize?” Sanemi demands

“For what?” you screech

“For touching my hand with your boob!”

Your eyes roll, “Oh fuck off!”

“I didn’t ask to touch you,” he grunts

“I wouldn’t have given you permission anyway,” you retort 😒

Arms crossing over his bare chest, Sanemi scoffs, “Well I didn’t give mine either!”

“You’re ridiculous. It was an accident.”

You seem genuinely pissed 😬

Sanemi rethinks his approach

“You know I’m joking, right?” 😅

“Nooo,” your sarcasm cuts deep, “I thought you were flirting.” 😐

Uh 😀

Well 😃

Shit 😄

“Fuck you!” 

When in doubt, curse ‘em out 💀

You scowl, confusion lingering as your blood boils, “Fuck you!”

“I said it first.” 🙄

You stalk away, fed up with his antics

#man child #sort of #romantically inept is more like it

As tends to happen with epiphanies, yours doesn’t hit until you’re almost asleep

“WAS THAT MOTHERFUCKER FLIRTING WITH ME???!” 😳🥴😭

Best believe Shinazugawa Sanemi is about to have a Lesson 101 in flirting asap 😤😎

(assuming you’re older, like, mentor age to Muichiro)

Neither of you make a fuss about it

It’s like accidentally calling your teacher mom 😬

Or grabbing a random person’s hand in the supermarket thinking they’re your parent 🫣

Embarrassing, but not a huge deal — unless you make it one

There’re those three seconds of slow motion Uhh and What just happened and Oops 🫠

And then time speeds up to normal again, you have a quick conversation with your eyes (gosh forbid you speak and bring the unspoken into reality 💀), and it’s over

^^ Alternatively, if Muichiro initiates a conversation to clear the air, then you’re able to have a mature and concise chat that is respectfully and patiently resolved

Embarrassing/accidental encounters are part of growing up

As long as they can be navigated ~safely, there shouldn’t be any lasting harm

⚠️I also want to emphasize that I am talking solely on inarguably accidental/one time incidences⚠️

Hehehe

Giyuu’s hand is stuck 🫣

Only for like, a fleeting second

But omg 😭

He was already embarrassed, and now he’s triply embarrassed 🫠🫠🫠

“... Tomioka-san?”

You won’t lie; you aren’t especially bothered 🤭

But it is a compromising position to be caught in; Giyuu lowkey crushing you, one of his palms clearly cupping your boob 😬

#wrestling #or something #so maybe this isn’t super realistic #forgive me

You’re about to repeat his name when he finally springs to life, immediately rolling off you, standing abruptly, about to literally sprint away

And then he remembers his manners 🙃

He offers you a hand

His other hand; his boob hand is currently tucked away in his haori

He’s never washing it again

#closet perv

“Thanks,” you smile faintly, accepting his assistance as you lift yourself from the ground

You hope he can’t hear your heartbeat 💓

He definitely can 😶

But can you hear his?

“I don’t think we should train together anymore.”

Giyuu is swift and harsh with his solutions

“Why?”

Your question comes out stiffer than intended

He hesitates, unable to interpret the fear in your tone — the longing

“I always beat you,” he explains lamely, “Don’t you get tired of losing?”

You scoff cheerfully, grinning now as you squeeze his hand

Fuck, we were still holding hands?! <— Giyuu is in shambles 😳

“I could never lose!” you declare, feelings brimming in your throat, spilling onto your tongue, “Not when I’m with you.”

Then we should absolutely stop training together would be the responsible reaction

Attachments are the most dangerous game for a Hashira to play 😕

Instead, Giyuu’s rendered speechless, unable to shake his hand from yours

“Well alright then,” he mutters, stomach churning as he narrowly avoids the warmth in your gaze

In fact, you swear he squeezes back 💓

“EXCUSE ME! I HAVE A WIFE!” 😤😤😤

“You have three wives.” 🙄

Sputtering, Tengen shrieks, “I already have plenty of breasts to touch!” 

“Tengen,” you glare, not one to back down as you jab a finger into his own chest, “You touched my boob.” 😒

“AND I’M SORRY!” 😭

Much better 😌

“I don’t know what they see in you,” you scoff (you’re also lying, you can see plenty🤭), “They’re gorgeous… and you freak out when you accidentally touch a boob.” 💀

Tengen is 100% pouting now

“I don’t freak out when I touch their boobs,” he huffs

“Well aren’t they lucky.” 😐

“You could be lucky too!”

…

…

Tengen starts running 

You give chase

“DID YOU TALK TO THEM ABOUT THIS?” 

Tengen runs faster

“TENGEN!!!!!”

Tengen runs faster and faster

You give up

*insert gasping for air here*

“DO YOUR WIVES KNOW THEY’RE MARRIED TO A COWARD???!!!”

Oh well, you’ll have to visit their estate sometime this week 🙃

You’re sure to get an answer from Hina, Makio, and Suma ☺️

And you can’t wait to see more of Tengen 😏😋

Sorry, sometimes the horny just happens 🥴

[darlingbabyboo]

--"what do you mean your dad doesn't like me?"

♡ Synopsis: you love your boyfriend more than anything in the world... it's too bad that your parents don't feel the same.

♡ Content: Kageyama, Tsukishima, Iwaizumi, Kenma, Suna, Atsumu. Black female reader! I don't believe that there's mentions of height but I'm writing this from my view and I'm pretty short so be wary...

♡ Notes: I actually don't remember writing this, I think I got possessed for a minute but that's okay <3. Hope y'all enjoy, it's been a minute since I wrote for Haikyuu

Kageyama

Case of a bad first meeting

Kageyama is an awkward boy okay, and there's nothing wrong with it but it kinda messes things up when your parents are introduced to him

You've been talking about your sweet caring boyfriend who loves to take care of you and supports you when things go wrong and your parents have high expectations because of how much you've been gassing him up

They follow you to one of his games, and they're very impressed by his volleyball abilities

When the game ends with Karasuno's win, they accept the interaction with Kageyama to go like this❤️🥰😊💖😘

Instead Kageyama just looks at you like 😐

And they're not the biggest fan of that

"Tobio, baby, you did so good!" You exclaim as he comes towards all of you. Your parents watch expectantly, waiting for the sour expression on his face to disappear at the sight of you. A smile, grin, laugh, something.

Instead, he nods at the compliment, and starts staring at the nonexistent spot on the floor.

They frown, that was not what they expected.

Your mother leans into your father, "I thought he would be..."

"Sweeter," Your father finishes for her. They watch the encounter with dismay. You continue to send a barrage of compliments to your boyfriend only for the other's stare at the floor to turn into a full blown glare.

"I need to go," He suddenly interrupts your ranting. They watch, hoping that he'll redeem himself with a short embrace, but he only nods at you, and offers your parents a small wave.

"Isn't he great!" You gush as you watch the setter walk back to his team.

Your parents frown, not at all.

Bonus

"Bakeyama! Their parents definitely hate you!"

"Shut up Boke!" He yells back at Hinata, rubbing his cheeks like he can erase the red from his face. He could barely look you in the eyes with you wearing his jersey. It was the first time you had ever done something like that and he reacted like an idiot!

"You're so stupid!" The shorter male giggles, "I have no idea how you got with someone!"

He snarls, "shut up shut up shut up!"

Tsukishima

Tsukishima's a great suckup, you'd think he'd be great around your parents

...no, just no

Your mama's smart and she knows a fakeass when she sees one

Tsukishima might act all nice but your mama says, 'he got the devil in his eyes' she's right lol

He can't do nothing without absolute disgust being targeted at him 😭😭😭

He could be offering to help with dinner

And she offers back a side eyes him with a scowl on her face

Tsukishima is doing his best pray for my mans 🙏🏾

"Oh, ma'am, I can help with-"

"Don't bother," your mother cuts off, holding her hand up to stop the blonde from continuing his offer, "I don't need your help." She spits out. As she leaves to the kitchen she starts muttering something about him under her breath. He can't pick it up, but he knows it's not anything good.

He gives you a desperate look, it's been like this all night. He did his best to put on a nice smile and dress the best- he begged (though he would never tell you that)- his mom to bake some pie so that he could bring it to dinner just so everything would be perfect when meeting your mom, but it was all for nothing. It was an understatement to say that she didn't like him.

She fucking hated him.

You give him a look as if to say, what can you do? You did your best to talk Kei up, but as soon as she saw him, she decided she didn't like him. You put your hand over his, resting on the table.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, feeling horrible that he had worked so hard for nothing.

"It's just- I wished she liked." He interlocks your hand and squeezes it anxiously, "I don't know what else I should do."

You open your mouth to try to comfort him, but-

"Baby get in the kitchen, your mama needs help!" In a voice that leaves no room for argument.

You wince, you know that you can't say no when your mom starts talking in that tone. You give Kei an apologetic look and his shoulders slump, burying his head in his hands.

Iwaizumi

Worst possible meeting of your boyfriend

Iwaizumi has a habit of hitting you (playfully)

Your dad just happen to catch you two when it looks like he's hitting you

He is traumatized and horrified

Shitting crying throwing up fr when your father starts to threaten to end his life if he come near you again

"Where's my favourite member of Aoba Johsai~" You sing, playfully poking his shoulder.

He puts an arm around your shoulder and pulls you into him "right here babe."

You wriggle out of his grip, "you don't look like Oikawa to me."

He rolls his eyes, "fuck you." He knocks your head, not hard enough to bruise but enough to look threatening, he laughs at your flinch.

"Coward," He mocks.

You stick out your bottom lip and just as you open your mouth to respond-

"Fuck you say about my daughter."

He gasps when someone's hand grips his upper arm. The man's eyes are filled with pure rage, and his grip tightens so hard it's almost like he's trying to tear it out of his arm. He watches the man, and in a horrifying realization he sees that the man has your eyes.

It's your dad.

Shit.

"This is not what it looks like," He sputters out, in an attempt not to look like an abusive dickhead, "we just-"

"Shut up." The man grits out, and impossibly the grip on his arm tightens even more. "if I ever see you around my little girl again, I will fucking kill you."

"Dad-" You attempt to protest.

"No." Your dad interrupts your plea, "I told you to be careful around these trashy high schoolers- about getting yourself involved in these stupid boys." He shakes Iwaizumi like a ragdoll to further emphasize his point. "I never want to see you around him again."

You eyes go wide, "Dad, wha- that's not fair!"

Your father doesn't listen to your protests, harshly pushing away Iwaizumi and grabbing your hand. You fight against it for a bit but give up when your father won't let up. You turn around to face Iwaizumi, mouthing I'm sorry.

He just nods, and as soon as you're gone he places his fist against his forehead, wondering how he could have fucked things up so much.

Kenma

I love Kenma but he's not a conventional bf

Your dad wants you to be happy but at the same time he's looking at him and thinking, really, you couldn't do any better

He can barely hide the disgust when he's playing on his video games, slouched over like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and heavy bags under his eyes

You're telling him that he's a highly valued member of his team and then he sees him get winded going up a the stairs

Okay sweetie 🤗🤗🤗

Kenma finds the hate as more of an annoyance than anything tbh

He doesn't sweat too much about it, the only reason he tries is because he doesn't like you being upset about the uneasiness between your parents and him

"Hey," He says, all he can get out before he practically collapses against you. It was a long game and all he wants to do is melt into your arms. "'s nice tha' you came." He keeps panting, just on the brink of passing out.

"Hey Kenny." You say, running a hand through his hair and pressing a gentle kiss on his forehead, "you were really good in this game."

He doesn't have the energy to thank you, all the air practically gone from his lungs, instead he nods and buries his face into your neck.

After a minute of you carding your hand through his hair you say the dreaded words, "my dad's expecting you to greet him..."

He groans, "will he accept a weak wave."

"Not at all."

He groans louder as he painfully removes himself from your gasp. he looks up to your dad, who is predictably glaring at him. He gives a weak smile and wills himself to go towards the man.

What he'll do for you.

Suna

YOUR DAD DOES NOT TRUST HIM

He does not like him around you at all and thinks his precious baby deserves to be around someone better

Your dad finds him a little too nonchalant for his taste and thinks that his baby needs to be around someone that spoils you

Suna is surprised when he's hit with the hatred bcs he didn't think he did anything???

"Rinnie, you did so good!" You exclaim, wrapping your arms around his neck, he in return wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"Thanks," He responds, pressing his lips to your forehead.

He pulls away when he hears someone clear his throat. He looks at the other man, he looks like the spitting image of you. A smile creeps up his lips at how similar you look to your father.

He nods to him as a greeting.

Your father does not accept that.

"You too good for a handshake?" The man questions.

He opens his mouth, instinctively ready for a snappy remark, but he immediately closes it when your father glares. This is, apparently, no laughing matter, and he really doesn't feel like making things worse. Instead, he pulls his hand forward.

"Hey, I'm Suna Rintaro." He introduces.

"Hey." Your father mockingly echos (he exchanges a quick glance with you, did he do something? Why does the man already hate him), but he still accepts the handshake.

He winces when the older man squeezes, strong grip feeling like he's trying to tear his arm off. He drops his hand and puts it in his pocket, trying to shrug off the burning feel.

"Strong grip there Sir." He remarks, trying to make it come across light-hearted.

The other man doesn't show any positive reaction. "It's the grip of a man."

"Or a serial killer." He mutters. Apparently, not quiet enough, as you wince and the vein on your father's forehead bulges out in anger.

"We'll talk later, okay Rinnie." You say, offering an escape. He smiles, grateful for the opening. He'll take his escape while he still can.

"I'll see you later angel." He presses another kiss to your forehead and leaves, pretending he doesn't notice the glare of your father. That's something for another day.

Atsumu

Poor guy had no idea that your dad did not f with him 😭😭😭

He loves both your parents!

They gave birth to you and you're the greatest person ever!!! Of course he loves them

But apparently the hate is on sight with them

He starts to walk over and he starts scowling 😒

When you asked your dad why they didn't like Atsumu, he just clucked and said

'That blonde boy ain't right,' your dad muttered and offered NO OTHER INFO

"Hey princess, you like the match?" He smacks a kiss to your cheek and wraps a hand around your waist, "scored that last point for you."

"Just the last point?" You tease. "Were the other points for your other girlfriends."

"No other girls but you princess." He says, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

Your interrupted by your dad clearing his throat, very loudly.

You two break apart, and you offer your parents a sheepish glance.

"Are you going to introduce us honey?" Your mom says, with an odd look in her eyes that Atsumu can't decipher.

"Mom, dad, this is Miya Atsumu, the boy I've been talking about so much."

"It's a pleasure to meet you two." Atsumu says, giving his widest, kindest, toothiest grin.

Your mother gives him a weak smile back, while your father just watches him, like a predator looks at its prey before snapping its neck.

He waits for the two to respond, but they just keep staring.

After a few moments of nothing he coughs, "would you two like to join us for lunch- I'd like to celebrate my win with my favourite girl and her parents."

You giggle at that, but your parents show no reaction.

"It's getting awfully late for lunch." Your father says gruffly.

He laughs, "it's only 7."

Your father doesn't share his humour. He turns to you, "I don't want you out so late with some guy."

He bites his tongue at the last part, some guy? He's thinks you two have been together enough to be more than some guy.

"It's not even that late." You whine.

"The sun's about to set."

"It's only 7!" You reiterate, you turn to your mom, "Mama please!"

Your mom shakes her head, "I think you should listen to your father. It's getting late, and you should be careful who you share your company with." She gives a pointed glance to Atsumu.

It's like someone reached into his chest and ripped out his heart. He forces himself to smile, "ya'know, we don't need to celebrate today, I'll let ya get back home princess."

"But 'tsumu-" You attempt to protest.

"It's fine." He interrupts. He plays nonchalant and shrugs, "there are other days."

He grasps your hands and presses kisses to your knuckles. "I'll text you later, okay?"

You pout, but concede, "m'kay."

He offers a goodbye to your parents but they've turned their attention away, looking anywhere else but but at him. He swallows, he'll deal with that later.

[xiepheer]

hello!! see your new hehe can u do headcannons on what yandere beasts would be like with a spouse, whos real gentleeeee

Yandere Beasts with their gentle spouses! 💖

Hello everyone! Doing one of my first requests! I hope u like this! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Also reader here is GN so u can choose what gender this will take over!

Now unfortunately, due to the lack of information of the 2 other beast cookies, I would only do 3 which are the released cookies. I hope yall forgive me 😭🙏

Happy Valentine's my pookies!

Shadow Milk cookie

Ahh the master of deceit. What a surprise.

Now of course, with his spouse he very VERY loves would do anything for them.

The jester clown would do anything for his gentle spouse.

Everyone didn't expect the clown to have a spouse who is also very loyal to him.

The beast of deceit, having a spouse. Cookies wondered who even wanted to be with them? (me.)

His beloved spouse was not only small and petite that needed his protection, but also is gentle and is the only cookie that cared for him.

Now he is a jealous cookie.

He does NOT like male cookies that he doesn't trust or know.

This jester would do anything for his darling spouse.

He would kill

He would rob

He would destroy

All for his beloved spouse.

After the forks trapped them, he was worried. Scared.

Scared that another cookie might still his beloved spouse while he's sealed in the silver tree.

Worried that they might get hurt but he can trust Candy Apple cookie and Black Sapphire cookie, right?

Right and wrong.

Candy Apple cookie tried many ways to isolate or make her 'Master Shadow Milk cookie' hate his spouse but couldn't do so.

Candy Apple's jealousy just grew when she sees her master's smile grow wider when he sees his lovely beloved spouse.

Now Black Sapphire Cookie watch over his Master's spouse. He would make sure that Candy Apple cookie don't hurt them.

Or else not only Candy Apple cookie be doomed, but also him for not protecting them.

He would do anything for them. He would destroy everything. Cause chaos. Just for them.

Just to show his 'love' to them.

He would destroy everyone that has a problem agaidnt his spouse.

Have a bully? Sure no problem

Got someone liking them? He would NOT let the cookie that likes his spouse slide. His spouse is his only.

Got someone his spouse would like to get rid of? Sure he can make them into his puppets.

His spouse is only his and his only.

Burning Spice cookie

Now Burning Spice cookie would be the type of ruler with a LOT of spouses but of course, he has favoritism.

This specific spouse was the only soft cookie he has encountered in the Spice desert or Spice Kingdom.

All his other spouses were not the same as his chosen one.

They were all rude and mean, meanwhile his chosen one was gentle, soft, and kind.

This was what he wanted. Under all those destruction, he also needs some relief but couldn't do so since his other spouses acted so rude to him like how any ordinary spice cookies would be.

His favorite spouse is gentle, soft, nice, and despite his destructive personality, they would not leave him.

That is what made him want them more.

Their soft dough, cute dimples, soft cheeks, gentle and carefree personality made him go crazy.

He NEEDS to protect them.

No matter what. He needs to.

The Great Destroyer has needs too.

This Great Destroyer would go crazy for them.

He would destroy countless villages or cities just for them.

After the forks trapped them, he was cursing the witches for sealing him and his friends and most importantly, sealing him away from his beloved spouse.

He was angered. He tried the best he could to try and break free from the forks but the forks wouldn't budge.

Countless attempts of breaking free using his axe and nothing worked.

Now after he was sealed, he can only count on Nutmeg Tiger cookie to protect them and make them the ruler while he was gone.

Nutmeg Tiger cookie on the other hand, did the command. She knew too well what's gonna happen if she disobeys his command.

His other spouses whom he didn't seem to care about but his beloved spouse was angered.

They were all protesting, "Why didn't WE get a turn!?", "This is so unfair!", "let us do what we want since we're his spouses as well!"

Nutmeg Tiger cookie did nothing to them but use her guards agaidnt them.

Telling them if they ever hurted The Great Destroyer's beloved chosen spouse, he would destroy them with no second thought.

Meanwhile, in the silver tree, he couldn't stop thinking about his beloved one. He was actually scared.

Scared that his spouse mind get ended by his other spouses due to jealousy.

But back to the kingdom, they knew better than to mess with Burning Spice cookie.

And they came to the conclusion that his favorite spouse is his and his only.

Mystic Flour cookie

Ahh the cookie of Apathy.

She might not show it to her spouse but her spouse will know she actually loves them by how gentle she is with them.

She has not been gentle with any cookies yet since her corruption.

And yet, eversince she has found them, she felt the urgent need to protect them, to give them whatever they wanted, to love them like no one did to her.

She has always been caused chaos with the other cookies but after she married her spouse, she changed.

She felt an fluttering feeling she hadn't felt.

Now her spouse being the gentle cookie they are, always wanted her.

The cookie of Apathy wasn't expecting such thing.

She was gonna turn the cookie into flour when she couldn't bear to do it.

She has a feeling she has not felt before.

She vowed to protect her beloved spouse, bring what they needed for them.

She would turn any cookies and friends are NOT excluded into flour.

She would cause mass destruction and chaos in Earthbread just for them.

She would do anything for her gentle spouse.

She would love their kisses, hugs, and cuddles coming from them.

Now since those forks fell on her, she just knew she couldn't leave her beloved spouse all alone without her guard.

She desperately tried so hard to reach out for them but the seal closed.

Her beloved spouse was also reaching out as well.

Her days were filled in sorrow and sadness as the thought of her beloved spouse all alone out there, without protection filled her head.

Although she doesn't show it, she would cry a little as the thought takes over.

Her jam was also stripped away from her which made her feel a little weak but not weak enough for her to be considered as a normal cookie again.

She trusts that Could Haetae cookie would watch over her spouse and keep them safe until she has returned and until her soul jam has returned to her.

Now being with Cloud Haetae, they would try their hardest and best to keep their beloved Mystic Flour cookie's beloved spouse safe.

They worked for them, was there for them like Mystic Flour cookie.

With the reminder of the cookie of Apathy, they knew that her beloved spouse was needed to be guarded at all times and that was all they were doing.

Mystic Flour cookie let anyone know who her beloved spouse belongs to.

Hope yall like this! BTW I'm a retired wattpad writer cuz I lost all the motives 1 yr ago but now I think I'm feeling it again 😎

Anyways forgive me for my mistakes if I ever had some while writing this. Have a wonderful day!

[starlightervarda]

I can't sleep so Star Trek TOS/SNW dashboard simulator

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

to this day I can't understand why they're called the Three Musketeers if there's FOUR of them? Did Dumas just forget his own main character???

🪴 plantdad Follow

You've got to be kidding me

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

I know right? A mistake like this would never happen in Russian literature!

5,324 notes

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

After months of taking care of everyone else on this giant tin can I really earned this shore leave. Now I get to drink, relax, flirt with some lovely ladies and sleep until noon 😎 Just what the the doctor ordered!

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

Update: A fucking purple tree ate five crewmen. Again.

955 notes

🖖 iamspock Follow

Despite being among humans for close to a decade, I still find their tendency to overcomplicate and avoid aspects of social situations to be confusing at best and infuriating at worst. So much time is wasted on tedious matters such as who gets to 'make the first move' or 'not come off too strong'.

For example, everyone aboard my vessel is keenly aware of Lt. Uhura and Engineer Scott's 'budding romance'. But their need to extend their oddly avoidant courtship ritual, rather than outright state their interest in one another, is pointless, as well as frustrating to witness.

Why do they do this? Why not 'get it over with', as they say?

I encourage answers from all cultures, human or otherwise.

💅 janicethemenace Follow

I'm sorry Scotty and Nyota are WHAT

💉 xtinechapel Follow

DELETE THIS

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

SPOCK NOOO HE DOESN'T THINK OF ME LIKE THAT 😭

🔧 scott-free Follow

But I do! I thought you knew and were just being nice about it!

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

DMing you rn 😳

🖖 iamspock Follow

You're welcome.

24,103 notes

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

PSA: If you visit Antares VII, stay clear of any yellow plants, their pollen can have some...inconvenient effects on the biology of humanoid peoples.

My XO and I suffered through troubling symptoms until it was almost too late. Thankfully, we figured out a cure in time.

🪴 plantdad Follow

I can only find info on the symptoms. What was the cure? 👀

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

Do I really have to say it?

6,322 notes

💊 mmmbenga Follow

The galaxy if Klingons didn't exist

⚔️ glorytotheempire Follow

Wow. Humans are openly advocating for our disappearance yet Klingons are the bad guys? I thought your federation stood for peace.

💊 mmmbenga Follow

Cry harder you genocidal wrinkly-faced bitch I hope your planet gets sucked into a black hole

#If you think a joke is on par with what they do then book an MRI because you might have brain damage #fuck Klingons and anyone that sympathizes with them

35,007 notes

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

So I can either skim through this asteroid belt on Warp 2 for 3 hrs or on Warp 5 for 15 mins

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

Erica no! That's not how navigation works!

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

FLOOR IT???

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

ERICA NO

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

HOW ABOUT WARP 7 FOR 15 SECONDS?

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

ERICA YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH THE SHIP

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

I AM GOING TO HARNESS LIGHT-SPEED TO ZIGZAG THROUGH THE VOID

🚀 mitchiemitch

ERICA P L E A S E

112,517 notes

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

I know some species are very private, but you'd think they'd share the important stuff, esp when we should trust each other by now.

How are we supposed to enjoy my weekly dinners if you all don't tell me what to watch out for :/ This is the third time this happens to the same person and I had to get the answer why from our CMO

💫 numerouna Follow

Wait what did I miss while I was gone

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

Spock got wasted on my chocolate fudge cake and hit his head on the counter ://///

2,904 notes

[lewisvinga]

favorite girls | alex albon x fem! reader x lily muni he!

summary; after y/n says a special fact about her relationship with alex and lily, everyone seems to misinterpret it as her getting in between their relationship. luckily, her boyfriend, girlfriend, and their grid friends are always there to defend her.

fc; emilia mernes

warnings; slut shaming, cursing

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs

note; requested ! i love me some alex n lily

masterlist !

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and others!

alex_albon: my favorite girls. both of them, always and forever. ( p.s. lily and i made the FIRST move before she realized we loved her after manyyyyy hints and tries )

tagged; yourusername, lilymhe

lilymhe: y/n is such a pretty angel then you added a pic of me in pjs and w my dino

alex_albon: ‘that’s my y/n dino i can’t leave her🥺🥺’

yourusername: AWE LILSSSS

lilymhe:we gave her so many hints and it wasn’t until we kissed her that she finally realized 🕊️🕊️

alex_albon: she’s so stupidly cute 😞😞

yourusername: to be fair, lily is just super affectionate and alex is flirty without trying , how was i supposed to know🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

landonorris: when drunk alex and lily kept ranting to me about how much they love you while you were right next to me???

yourusername: i too was tipsy , norris !

yourusername: love u both sm💖💖 my fave ppl in the whole wide world 🥹🫶

alex_albon: love you both so much too❤️

lilymhe: AWEE I LOVE YOUU BOTH🥹

username: now i see why y/n said lily is like a puppy

username: #y/ndefenderuntildeath liked by alex_albon & lilymhe!

username: they’re so goals

username: the way they both pulled a bad bitch like y/n really had y’all questioning if they made the first move or not 😭

username: y/n honestly has looked happier ever since dating them! and even her aesthetic has been sm more colorful!

username: my parents 😖

landonorris: love u guys n all but u guys are gross

yourusername: aweee landooo ( ignoring the last part )

alex_albon: he’s just jealous i have 2 pretty gfs and he has none!

landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE

username: lily and y/n give me a gay panic

username: idk if i wanna be them or be with them

username: u guys need a fourth?? or a dog??? or a cat??😁😁

username: i still don’t like y/n. she gives me such an ick. swear she just ruined their relationship.

landonorris: well you give me the ick but you don’t see me commenting on your posts! y/n has made lily and alex very happy, so please fuck off.

georgerussell63: y/n is such a sweet girl, ask carmen, or literally anyone else on the grid! she’s loved by all of us and most importantly, alex and lily love her. frankly, your opinion doesn’t matter!

charles_leclerc: we don’t know you so it seems like your comment is irrelevant 😊😊😊 you clearly don’t know alex or lily well enough to know how happy they are with her! keep your irrelevant opinions to yourself next time 😁

lilymhe: yeah, what they said!

yourusername: awh, my boyfriends boyfriends are so nice 🩷

alex_albon: gross lando isn’t my boyfriend

landonorris: u know u want to baby😘😘

alex_albon: stay away from me norizz ❌

georgerussell63: so i’m your bf? 😦

charles_leclerc: and me?😧

lilymhe: that makes carmen and alexandra our gfs LETS GOOO🙌🙌

carmenmmundt: LETS GOO🤗

alexandrasaintmleux: GIRLIES FTW🎉🎉🎉

yourusername: i like this comment thread 😊