I really enjoy how Edwin subverts the expectations for his character archetype. Usually, if you had a character that was a mousey unpopular teenager who'd gotten bullied to death, they'd be shy and laden with insecurities, easily steamrolled by characters with more force of personality -- but instead, by the time you meet him in the show, Edwin's ego is basically bulletproof.
He is entirely confident in himself, and comfortable being himself, free to be as fussy, effeminate, and old-fashioned as he likes, because the only person whose opinion of him he gives a fuck about is Charles, and Charles thinks everything about Edwin is brilliant and he can do no wrong. Thirty years of Charles's radical acceptance has allowed him not only to be himself, but to be himself fearlessly.
And I think that's beautiful. :)
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the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.
the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.
friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.
if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!
what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!
people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.
you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.
your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.
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i wish sxf chapter 94 was an actual multi-chapter arc but i did like how loid is like yup ik ur innocent yor! \^o^/ he didn't suspect yor even a little bit he trusts her sooo much now 😭
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this is the kiss penelope asked for. a kiss. nothing she said implied she wanted more than this little peck..
but this is the kiss colin gave her. this is what he wanted..
and this is the kiss that opened his eyes. this is the brow-furrowing 'oh' moment. this was the kiss he wanted and needed..
and this is where he needed a moment. he needed a second to bask in the afterglow of their kiss before his lips instinctively inched back in to meet hers again..
this is the moment the hope for anything 'more than friends' with colin, ended for penelope. this is where she thought, 'this was just a favor! this was just my friend colin being kind. this is never going to happen again, but at least i had it once'...
and this is the moment colin saw the possibility of 'more than friends' with penelope
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