#HARD CHOICES HERE. REALLY DIFFICULT STUFF

[remitro]

cniki in a notes app on my ipad… Awesome

[sweetmodel]

How I became a master shifter (+ why methods aren't working for you)

Hello! I’ve been seeing a lot of disinformation lately, and I’ve noticed that some people might need help, so I wanted to chime in. I can shift whenever I want, and I see a LOT of limiting beliefs—but I understand because I was once on the other side.

Disclaimer: This is all based on my personal experience with how I became a master shifter. You’ll want to read everything—it’s important.

I first shifted around March 2022. I would always use methods. I would affirm, tell myself I was detached from this reality, and so on. During my very first shift, I literally affirmed all night long (if this sounds familiar, it’s because I used to have another blog here, lol). You know, really complicated stuff. Then... things changed. I couldn’t shift anymore. I kept using the same methods, but they didn’t work!

That’s when I started questioning everything about shifting and consciousness. Why was it that I could be in another reality where things like magic exist, but then suddenly I couldn’t shift anymore? Why were the methods, like lucid dreaming or the void, seemingly more powerful than the act of switching realities itself? Why, when I shifted from my Desired Reality to my Current Reality, all I needed to do think of my CR to shift back—but it didn’t work the other way around?

None of it made sense! And I’m sure many others have asked themselves these same questions.

I came up with two theories:

This reality has something unique compared to the infinite other realities. To shift from here, you need something extra, like a method.

There’s something else at play, something unrelated to the realities themselves.

I dismissed the first option. There’s nothing inherently special about this reality. So why do we use methods here but not in our DRs?

Then, I thought back to how I used to shift... detaching from my body, affirming until I shifted. It all aligned with my subconscious beliefs. The method didn’t work because that’s how shifting works, but because it made sense to my subconscious. Of course I would shift if I did these things—because that’s what I believed shifting required.

Well... kind of. As I said, it made sense because it aligned with my beliefs. So when the method failed, I wasn’t letting myself shift.

Did you catch that? I didn’t let myself shift. Of course, it wasn’t the method. At what point do you actually shift? Is it when you affirm? Do you really think the universe is just waiting for you to say the right thing enough times before it switches you to your DR?

No. It’s you.

So, you have two choices:

Find a method that truly aligns with your beliefs, or

Change your subconscious beliefs.

Changing your beliefs might seem hard, but I’m going to explain why it’s not as difficult as it feels.

All your life, you’ve had certain beliefs, but those beliefs came from somewhere. You weren’t born thinking you need methods to shift—it’s something that developed over time. Which means it’s not set in stone. It can be changed.

I realized that every reality holds the same weight. There’s NOTHING you can do in this one—no intrusive thoughts or negative emotions—that can stop you. Why? Because those thoughts and emotions are products of this reality. Shifting is simply changing what you’re aware of. That’s literally it. Anything outside of that can’t stop you.

Yes, we’ve all seen those posts saying things like, "Oh, you’re not focused enough" or "You spend too much time on X, Y, Z" or even "You don’t go outside enough" (I legit read this on here—y'all are wildin’). Are you in your DR thinking "Oh, I thought about failing to shift, it means I won't :("? Of course you aren't! But nothing can stop you from shifting. Nothing can stop you from being aware that you are a master shifter.

So, how do you become aware of that?

I started affirming throughout the day. I would tell myself these things:

I’m pure consciousness. I create my reality, and everything around me is just what I choose to perceive.

I’m a master shifter. I don’t need methods. All I need to do is choose to shift, think of my DR, and it happens.

Nothing in the 3D can stop me from shifting, because I’m in the 4D and pure consciousness.

I told myself these things constantly, and I truly understood what I was affirming. What being pure consciousness and being a master shifter actually meant. I stopped using methods. I stopped acting like this reality was special compared to the ones I wanted to be in. And then... it happened.

I shifted. During the day. I simply thought of my DR, told myself, I want to shift, and there I was—in my DR. It happened because, as I said, my subconscious beliefs changed and then manifested in my reality. The same way they did when I believed I needed methods.

Naturally, I stopped using methods. I stopped trying to shift. I no longer thought, Okay, tonight I’m going to shift, and I'm going to use X method. Because that’s not how you think or act when you’re a master shifter. I let go—why would I bother using a method before sleeping when I could just stand up, think about my DR, and be there? Why would I bother doing a method before falling asleep when I knew I'm a master shifter?

I allowed myself to shift. It was me! When people ask, What method did you use? What did you do to shift?—do you really, truly believe it’s the method that makes you shift? Of course you do, because you live in a reality that seems logical, and you apply that logic to shifting. But shifting isn’t logical! It just happens! I have no idea why—it’s literally just magic to me—but that’s how it works.

So, you need to understand: You make it happen. That’s a good thing, right? It means you don’t need methods, and you don’t need to keep searching for “the key.”

Anyway, I hope this helps someone. (Also yes, before you tell me, I know this is basically Law Of Assumption. But I wanted to explain it in more of shifting terms)

(Also if someone wants to post this to another social you have my permission- especially reddit since I was active in that community but I deleted my acc lol)

Edit: Hey guys there are some additional notes in the comments that might be useful!

[dymagamwedd]

psa. ok. i think i am gonna start using icons. i do feel weird having a non-actor's face attached to anything remotely nsfw (and frankly i feel weird about using 80s molly ringwald attached to anything nsfw) so i'll leave those threads iconless. if anyone is uncomfortable with me using damiano as ferry's fc, i'll drop the icons for those threads as well.

[barbiiecams]

doubts

drew starkey x younger!reader (like 19/20 sorry not sorry 😭), reader calls drew “papa” *not in a weird way*, smut, in love w the age gap concept cus of @native2princess ! <3

you watched yet another video on the internet of drew down at disney world without you, but with his friend group that all had a few years on you.

he would send pictures of everything that was cute or that reminded him of you, and you really did appreciate it. but it still didn’t swallow the lingering feeling in your gut.

you weren’t even invited. it was obvious why since you couldn’t even buy a drink legally, let alone not even close with half of them, but for some reason it still hurt and had you questioning things even further about everything.

you swore that you guys were drifting apart.

not only did that make you sad, but it also left you scared and questioning everything.

the only thing that made you wonder why you two were drifting like you thought you were was because of the age gap.

was he getting tired of you? was the age gap starting to become a burden? were you just too immature?

and let’s not even get started on how drew acted around his female friends — that were once again a lot older.

all you could do was just cry. it was a dumb reason to cry about, but you don’t wanna lose drew yet you really think you are. he was your first and you hoped he’d be your last, but who knows where you two may end up?

seeing how he acted with his friends currently was already ruining you. now you found yourself down a rabbit hole of searching through old videos of him before you were even dating.

it was crazy, of course you were aware of that. but it did nothing but further increase your worries seeing how he would act around these girls. all older than you and all more outgoing.

so now here you were, stalking your own boyfriend while you sat in your bed, silent tears streaming down your face.

currently, drew was now in paris for the fashion show. he wanted you to come, but it would be too difficult for you. plus school had just ended and both of you knew that you were planning to spend more time with your family this summer.

regardless of that, this feeling was awful. you’ve had old puppy-love heart breaks during highschool with guys you dated just to say you were in a relationship, but this is real. a real committed relationship you’re in with a guy a little over 10 years older than you.

he’s so mature. so are you, but not entirely. you still had a lot more to experience and learn, and he was always so patient.

but maybe now that patience was wearing thin.

you sniffle one more time before closing out all your apps and throwing your phone on the nightstand next to you. wanting to sleep it off and praying you’d wake up feeling better, your insides just were not letting that happen. not to mention you couldn’t fall asleep without at least getting a goodnight text from him.

laying down was no use. as soon as you tried to lay your head down on the pillow and just relax, the overthinking just continued to grow. there was no escape from these thoughts and it was just eating you straight alive.

you huff while turning over, switching sides and seeing if that would help. spoiler: it didn’t.

all you could do now is groan while sitting up. a certain thought ran through your mind that you really didn’t want to go through with, but did you have a choice? you already felt as if the end of things are near, so why let him break your heart (even though you’d be expecting it) when you can just do it the hard part first?

with a sigh, you reached over to grab your phone and open drew’s contact. everything was making you sick. you just stared at the screen, skimming over the conversation you had earlier.

it was the usual. ‘hows your day’, ‘i miss you’, ‘this reminded me of us’, all the cute stuff.

but it just didn’t hit the same. that feeling of him leaving you because of your age wasn’t going anywhere, and it was making you feel insecure on extreme ends

your fingers started typing. there were no real thoughts, just your pure raw emotions. you hit backspace a couple of times, you sat there and thought about the next few words you were going to say, but eventually you got it all put together it pained you type, but it pained you even more contemplating on whether or not you should send it.

‘hey drew. i’ve been missing you a lot recently and i know it’s weird and you’re going to question why i sent this after you read it, but im sorry. i really do feel like you’re leaving me soon and it’s taking a toll on me badly. i don’t want this to end but i can tell that it is and i just know + feel like we’re drifting apart. i feel like it’s because of my age so i really do understand and respect that. we can talk more once you get back because i hate to do this over text but i can’t just bottle my feelings anymore. goodnight 🩷’

a few more seconds of contemplation, you hit send and stared at the screen. you didn’t know how he would respond so you should’ve been shutting off your phone and running away.

but you didn’t. you stared at the screen and waited until he read it.

thankfully, it didn’t take him any longer than three minutes to open your message, and soon after, the dots were bubbling.

drew himself was lost. confused wasn’t even the word for the long paragraph you just sent him. he even started triple texting you.

‘???’

‘what are you talking about baby?’

‘i’m so lost’

you sighed reading his texts. he didn’t get it, realistically you shouldn’t have expected him to. it was out of the blue, and little to your knowledge, he didn’t think for a second anything was wrong between you too.

when you didn’t answer him as soon as you read it, he went back to typing.

‘answer me’

‘i’m really confused and worried. it’d be nice if you stopped leaving me on read’

‘call me now’

you didn’t even have a chance to start typing because you had an incoming call with drew’s name on it. you didn’t wanna pick up, but you knew you had to because if the roles were reversed, oh you’d definitely be throwing a fit.

swallowing quickly, you hit the green answer button to drew’s facetime call but moved your face out of the camera.

he’s walking, most likely back to his hotel with furrowed eyebrows and an expression that you think showed… annoyance?

drew’s the first one to speak up, “y/n, what the hell are you talking about?” he says sounding very confused and very upset as well.

“i feel like we’re drifting apart apart i don’t know.” you replied. your voice isn’t even a third as stern as his. it’s not stern at all nor convincing.

“where is that coming from? what are you talking about it’s our ages?” he questions you again.

you really hoped a fan wouldn’t come up to him. not because it would interrupt the call, but because they would be walking up on him pissed off and getting a taste of his very apparent bad mood.

you sighed, “it’s just how i feel. maybe i’m not mature enough for this.”

his face scrunches with confusion even further. he then looks down to his screen to see the ceiling you were showing.

“why do you all of a sudden feel this way? you are mature. if you weren’t, this relationship wouldn’t be a thing in the first place.”

this was something else you wanted to avoid; him being mad at you. you hated making him upset and now that you were already upset, and he was just getting annoyed with you, it wasn’t helping and it made you feel worse.

“show me your face baby. you know i don’t like talking to walls.” he says once you don’t respond to his actual voice this time.

reluctantly, you put your face in the screen. sitting up and cuddling onto your bed sheets.

“y/n, nothing is wrong. we aren’t drifting apart at all so i don’t know why you feel otherwise. we’re okay and you know this, baby. stop overthinking.” he reassures you.

before you could finally respond with anything else, you heard a few girls calling his name from the other side of his phone. good luck to them!

“i’ll call you back. we’re not done talking.” he says, then swiftly hangs up.

you wanted to puke. you hated being in any type of conflict with people, let alone being in one with drew.

a headache was starting to form, and it forced you to lay back down and sleep. you kept your phone right next to you on your bed, just in case drew woke you up by ringing your phone again.

—

you weren’t sure when the previous night you fell asleep, but you didn’t wake up until 12 the next day. and that was due to your doorbell ringing multiple times at once.

you whined at the fact you had to leave your warm bed, but you slowly made your way down your apartment’s stairs, rubbing your eyes and forcing yourself to wake up.

opening the door ready to curse out whoever had the nerve to wake you up at this hour, it was drew standing at the door with flowers in one hand and his stuff in the other.

now this is what really woke you up.

“how are you here…?” you questioned.

he exhales, “soon as we hung up yesterday i checked out and booked a flight here. we really need to talk in person.

you step to the side to let him in, then he shuts the door behind him and hands you the flowers.

both of you take a seat at the table. “i need you to fully explain what you’re feeling. that paragraph honestly made no sense and as soon as i read the whole thing i knew i had to get down here.” he says.

you press your lips together before speaking. “i’m sorry.”

he makes a face of puzzlement and also motions for you to keep going.

“maybe im not mature enough for this, drew. i don’t know.”

“what makes you think that? what happened or what did i do that has you questioning everything?” he asks, reaching out for your hand.

you sniffle before continuing, “i just feel like im holding you back. you’re buying drinks, going to clubs and hanging out with your friends who are all around your age and im still in school. it’s not working-”

he cuts you off before you can finish that. “those aren’t reasons, baby. it is working. do you feel left out or something?”

“no it’s just,”

there’s a pause before he says something again, “just what? i don’t understand what’s got you so in your head.

“i don’t know how to explain it. i just think you’re drifting from me because of where we’re at in life and i hate it.” the words finally form, and you can feel a little bit of weight being lifted off your chest now that you’ve got it out.

his expression now shows a face of understanding, then he’s standing up and swiftly making his way over to you, lifting you up before securing your legs around him.

you let out a squeal at the action. when he was balanced, he made his way upstairs to your room with you in his arms.

stepping into your decorated room, he throws you down on the bed then hovers over you. “i’m gonna prove to you that you deserve this relationship.”

his lips make their way to your jaw, leaving little lovebites on them, then down to your neck and chest.

your hands fly to his buzzed head. you let out soft sighs at his lips being on your body, a feeling you loved the most.

his hands travel to your pajama shorts then dipped into the waistband of your panties. as hes taking them both off at the same time, he distracts you by now placing his lips on yours, slowly making out with you.

now your hands are taking action, working to get is shirt off to see his toned body once again. when it’s off, one hand is still on his head while the other goes down to his abs, feeling on him.

now he’s starting to get quick, fumbling with his belt and pants, ready to do you into the mattress.

sooner than later, both of your clothes are off and in random sports throughout the room.

his middle and ring finger are inside you, stretching your out as you moan and grind into his hand.

drew’s cock is laying there on your stomach, practically reaching your ribs. this was just another reminder of how deep he really goes when fucking you.

you could barely keep your eyes on him while his fingers worked you. “that feel good?”

you moan out a “yea.” you definitely couldn’t let him go. the way he could make you fall apart with just his fingers is crazy as it is.

“i bet, baby. already so wet. you know what you want huh?” he coos.

this makes you nod. “want your cock, please.” you reach your hand down to where it rested on you, but he moves your hand away.

“i know you do. but i need this pussy stretched and ready for me.” he responds

“i can take it! promise! just give it to me,” you whine.

drew gives in at your begging. he removes his fingers from inside you before sticking them in your mouth.

he grabs his cock before lining it up with your entrance. he slowly pushes in, making you whimper around his fingers. it hurt a little bit, but the pleasure overrode the pain.

“shhh,” he hushes you, putting his cock in all the way and forcing you to take all that he gave you.

you continued to let out sounds because of the pleasure he was giving you. drew was letting out groans of content himself.

“feels so good, baby. so fucking good.” he throws his head back.

his words did nothing but turn you on more. your eyes squeeze shut before you guide his hand out of your mouth and onto your throat, signaling what you want from him.

he smirks before moving his other hand to your throat, choking you slightly but enough that you can still breathe.

“yea you like when i go hard on you, right baby? this pussy just loves when i go rough on her, doesn’t she?” he teases.

“mhm!” you squeak, loving the feeling of just taking all of him so deep and so rough.

he makes your legs cross completely around him before leaning down into your neck.

this was your favorite position. you being on your back, him groaning in your hear and putting hickeys on your neck, it was so much at once and you loved it real bad.

his lips are right next to your ear. “i’m not going anywhere, yeah?”

he lets out another sound before continuing, “you’re not leaving me either. neither of us are going anywhere.

your breath catches in your throat when he says this. maybe this was all you needed. some reassurance, and a good pounding to go with it.

he sits up before pulling out to turn you around. now that you’re flat on your stomach, he slides right back in with a hand on your lower back right before your butt and the other pushing your head down into the pillows.

you screamed out when he started thrusting all over again. it hurt so good, you just wanted to do this forever him.

you tried to move away slightly because he was just going ham on your poor hole. but all it took was you reaching one hand up, gripping the sheets and trying to pull away before he yanked your head back by your hair. he then brought your back up to his chest and held you by your throat.

“stop running, baby.” he growls into your ear.

“it’s so deep tho, papa.” your eyes squeeze shut as your mouth hangs open.

he kisses right below your ear, “you’re fine.”

that bubbly feeling started to form again. you were about to cum, and somehow drew could always tell too.

“know you’re gonna cum, mama. hold that shit.” he tells you as he pushes you back into the sheets.

right now that request just didn’t seem possible. “i can’t!”

he gives your right cheek a firm slap. “you can and you will. don’t make me say it again.”

you guys stay in this position for a while. him just hitting it from the back deep and all you needed to do was lay there and take it like a good girl.

his good girl.

suddenly, he flips you back over, then lays down himself setting you on top. now he’s got his feet planted on the bed, thrusting up into you.

at this angle, you guys can see the belly bulge happening from how deep his cock was. just proving how big he really is again.

“see that baby? that’s me. all up in those guts.” he says to you.

you throw your head back, but he cups the back of your head to bring you down into him, chest to chest.

“y’the only one who gets fucked like this. y’know that? only one who deserves it too,” his arms wrap around your waist now. “only fucking one.”

his lips are practically on your ear as he says this. you’re only able to nod, but he wants to hear your voice.

“tell me you understand that baby, say it.” his thrusts slow down, but there still deep, and he’s angling it to make sure he’s hitting that good spot.

“i…”

another slap hits on to your cheek. “say it, princess.”

“yes! i understand!” you finally moan out.

“yes who, baby?”

“yes papa!” your voice is weak now.

he smirks at your submission and continues to fuck you hard. more than just a few thrusts later, he’s letting out a lot more groans than what he already was.

“shit baby… y’gonna make me cum soon. you gonna let me put it in you, hm?”

“drew…”

his hips are starting to stutter. “know you’re ready to cum too. been holding it in like papa told you too, good girl. fuckk.”

his arms are really really squeezing around your waist, keeping you still so you can’t try and move from his brutal thrusts.

“cum with me baby girl. got a big load for you.” he moans.

“don’t knock me up.” as good as the moment felt right now, you were dead serious about that.

he chuckles, “i won’t baby. know you wanna feel that cum all in your stomach tho.”

you moan one last time before finally cumming around him. you couldn’t hold it back anymore, no matter how much he told you to wait for him.

but your own orgasm sent his off. he felt you come undone around him, and two seconds later you felt his hot sperm fill you up.

drew’s arms moved from around your waist to seriously gripping your hips down, not letting you waist a drop of what he had to give you.

moans and deep breaths were coming from the both of you. that was the most intense sex you guys had for a while, not to mention the first time he’s actually came inside you.

when he finally came down from his high, he slowly pulled out of you and just let you rest on his chest.

“thank you,” you quietly speak up.

he doesn’t respond, but he smiles and kisses your forehead.

minutes after just sitting in silence, he sits up against your headboard and takes your face into your hands.

“baby, when i say youre what i want i mean it. if you weren’t mature enough for me, i wouldn’t still be here.” he says. you don’t actually answer, you want him to keep going.

“i love you so much, sweetheart. nothing about that is going to change and nothing can make it change. i don’t know what you saw or if i did something, but im sorry. okay?”

you nod with a smile. “okay.”

he smiles back at you then pressed his lips against yours, giving you a nice firm kiss. which slowly turned into a makeout.

you guys pull away just to catch your breath, “we gotta get you packed up, sweetheart.”

“for what?” you ask.

“i’m taking you back to paris with me.”

[weneepie]

neighbours w/ eddie brock & venom rules | m.list

note. yes i saw the last Venom movie and no i'm not okay, but let's act like everything's fine okay? <3 feel free to request!

You had been living in the apartment for a while now, and as you weren’t really the type to sympathise with people, you had no idea who your own neighbours were. Until one of them became way too loud for you to ignore. 

It wasn’t like you were doing a really difficult job, even if it was still debatable. Being a writer was making you stay up all night long to keep writing your book with the hope of finally being able to finish it and, one day, find an editor. But the guy living next to you? He was making things impossible for you. 

You had decided to let it pass, hoping that it would simply stop by itself ; but it didn’t. Actually, you could swear it had become worse by the time. So one night, you decided that it was already more than enough, and you left your place to come knock at his door. 

You heard sounds of stuff breaking, a guy talking by himself, until he finally opened the door. He was all alone, and he seemed to be anything but okay. The guy was sweating in his grey hoodie, and he looked completely exhausted. You frowned slightly when he offered you an awkward smile. 

“Hi, I’m sorry about the noise.” He started, and you could only sighed at his words. How could you be angry at a poor guy who seemed to be just as in a bad state as you right now? You slowly shook your hand. “It’s fine, just try to be careful. I’m not sleeping much, but it’s hard to focus with all the noise you’re making.” 

You met his gaze when you heard him murmuring something. What was his problem? You were trying to be nice, there was no way he was really speaking under his breath. “Excuse me?” You asked with an eyebrow raised, and the guy quickly looked back at you. “No, nothing! Sorry again.” And with that, the conversation was over. 

After the ‘incident’, it was always like fate wanted you to meet your neighbour more often than it was the case before. In the elevator, when you were going out of your apartment to put the trash out ; anything. By the time, you learnt that your neighbour’s name was Eddie, and that he was a journalist. Both of you weren’t doing the same job, but you had the same troubles so it felt easy to talk with him, even though Eddie was a bit… strange. 

It was almost like he was never fully comfortable, something being awkward with him all the time. You might have sounded crazy, but you could swear it was like he was never alone in his own mind. Eddie was the type to talk to himself, in a whisper or louder than expected sometimes. You learnt to deal with it, but you couldn’t get out of your head this silly idea that Eddie was hiding something from you. 

One night, after some friends almost forced you to go out with them at the bar, you were walking alone in the street to go back to your apartment. You weren’t even tipsy, as drinking wasn’t much your thing, so you were sure that the noises you heard behind you were more than real. You tried to walk faster, but it was obviously not enough. Soon, your wrist was held by a complete stranger trying to get you to come with him. 

You didn’t have much time to fight him back, because he flew away suddenly. You opened your eyes wide, following his figure crashing in the wall, not understanding what had just happened before your eyes. It didn’t make much more sense when you looked back at where he was before and saw a large dark figure standing in front of you. 

Large white eyes, and even larger teeth going out of a stupidly wide mouth ; you were sure you were about to die here and now. The monster tilted his head to the side, examining your figure before it kind of smiled, making it even creepier than before. “The little human shouldn’t walk alone so late.” His voice was deep, deeper than anything you ever heard in your life before. 

“We’ll walk you back,” it said, and you weren’t sure if you really had the choice to refuse the offer. At least, he didn’t want to eat you alive, it was a good start. “Eddie says you’re nice, and we agree with him.” 

Wait… Eddie? You looked back at the creature with a frown, and you could swear you heard someone yell at the monster under all of those muscles. “Eddie says we can’t tell you he’s here, but he’s hidden,” said the black monster. The more he spoke, and the less you understood what was going on. Until it revealed you the truth hidden for so long. 

The dark figure disappeared, only to leave you in front of your neighbour, Eddie Brock, a black head with sort of tentacles going out of his shoulder. You blinked a few times, completely at loss of words. Eddie had this awkward smile on his lips, trying to find the right words. The silence felt like an eternity, so many thoughts flooding in your mind. 

“That’s Venom. You weren’t supposed to meet him, or to know he was… well, me? Kinda.” You frowned, your eyes now locked on Eddie’s face who wasn’t helping you at all to understand everything. “Venom? You have an alien inside of you?” You almost snapped at him, the confusion too strong to think straight. “

“A symbiote, but yeah, technically an alien,” he said, and a sigh escaped your lips. You had so many questions ; and now that you knew, you weren’t going to give Eddie the choice to explain everything or not. You needed to know what was really happening, and how it was even possible. 

This is how you ended up staying almost the whole night at Eddie’s place, with him and the symbiote explaining to you the situation. You quickly understood that it wasn’t a simple possession ; Eddie was a host and they both had this kind of situationship a bit weird that was going on. Venom was way less terrifying now that you saw him bickering with your neighbour. You could almost think he was fun, but it was too early for this. 

But after this, you started to spend even more time with your neighbour. Him and his symbiote, of course. Sometimes, when they were fighting too much, Venom would leave his host to come hide with you for some time. Not too long, because hurting you was the last thing he wanted, but enough to run away from Eddie. The man was never too worried, because he knew exactly where his stupid symbiote was. 

It was a weird dynamic between the three of you, but it was something which was working pretty well. You were spending hours and hours at Eddie’s place to write while he was working on his articles, and Venom would alway complain about how boring it was to have you both working at the same time while he had nothing to do. The symbiote was an attention seeker, you learnt that quickly. 

And when things began to evolve between you and Eddie, you knew Venom would always be implicated too. You didn’t expect to be in a relationship so soon, but even less in a polyamorous thing with a man and an alien. But nothing could go wrong, right? There was absolutely no reason to be worried, or at least it was what you were trying to say to yourself. 

But you were right. It was, actually, even better than what you had imagined. Eddie was the sweetest man you ever met, always taking care of everything for you and making sure you were doing good. It was probably the most safe and sane relationship you ever had, and it was strange to say that. Because Venom was the same, in his way. 

He was a bit clumsy, most of the time, but he was always trying his best. You never felt uncomfortable, even if he could be pretty bold or franc sometimes. It was part of his charm, you had to say. When he started to share his chocolate with you, you knew he was doing the biggest step to someone in his whole life. 

After all, it wasn’t so bad to be living in this shitty apartment.

thank you for reading!

[jarofstyles]

The Favor 6

Hello and welcome to the favor part 6! We are getting into juicier stuff now.. let me know your thoughts! 😈😈😈

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The Favor masterlist

WC- 5.1k

Warnings- exhibitionism, slight degradation, teasing In public, BDSM elements, mention of unhealthy relationship, Dom/sub dynamic, choking, spanking, mention of edging hehe

——-

Leaving Harry’s house was difficult. 

Even knowing she was going to see him on Wednesday for lunch and she was staying the weekend next week, something felt so wrong about going home to her empty place and just continuing about her week like she hadn’t just had a mind blowing experience during the weekend. 

Harry had taken incredible care of her. Not only had he bathed with her, tied her hair up in a scrunchie he had, washed her body with a soft washcloth and fed her fruit from his fingers, but he’d thrown one of his shirts over her body and brought her into a freshly made bed where he had her lay on her tummy and he rubbed salve into her ass that was still very much sore. He’d taken care of her, brushed her hair back and cuddled her as they spoke about what they did and didn’t like in the scene- which was overwhelmingly positive. Y/N had found out she especially liked his hand around her throat and when he’d pressed her face into the bed like he had at the end. She wasn’t sure about the edging quite yet but she was open to trying different scenarios and it was hard to admit that, but Harry’s overwhelmingly sweet reception of her hesitance made up for the nerves. He had said overstimulation was his choice over the latter in terms of subs, but he liked to edge himself more than anything and was open to trying different scenarios. Orgasm denial seemed more like a punishment to her, which he noted very clearly. 

The next morning she’d woken up with a freshly showered Harry who had finished his workout when she was sleeping. He’d woken her to check on her bum, but somehow it had turned dirtier. With Harry’s fingers tucked inside of her cunt, easily wet for him as he coaxed an orgasm from her with her hands pinned above her head and her body writhing under him, his palm slapping over her clit and her head light as he licked his digits clean afterwards. 

He’d made breakfast of eggs, toast and yogurt parfaits, remembering her affinity for strawberries from the night prior. He’d also remembered her chamomile tea, making sure it was steeped by the time they’d gotten settled in his dining room, Buttons sitting at her bare feet to keep them warm. 

Leaving had been hard, the man quick to give her a squeeze and kiss to the forehead after walking her to the car and putting her duffle in her backseat. He’d promised to text her during the week, which he had, but it didn’t do much to help her missing him that night. If anything, she felt lonelier than she had before she even met him.

Speaking of, Danny had been really irritating her. He’d barely texted her that weekend but as the week went on, he’d been texting her about some sports games, gossip at his job, shit that she really had no interest in. Not once had he made a real attempt to ask how she was doing. He made no attempt to see her, which was both a blessing and a curse. She wasn’t sure how she’d react to his touch right now. The thought had been floating in her mind if he truly grasped how intimate of a thing she was doing with Harry. If he knew, if he cared, even. The longer it was going on, the less she felt steady in a relationship she had been so desperate to keep afloat just 3 weeks ago. 

His name sent a sense of annoyance through her when she saw it on her home screen as she put her car in park, but the name above his had her tummy erupting in butterflies. 

Harry: Hi, love. I’m here, I got a table outside if that's alright?

Y/N: I just pulled in!!! Sorry a train was going over the tracks again. So annoying. 

Y/N: I’ll be there in just a minute :) 

Fluffing her hair, she adjusted her lip stain and hoped she didn’t look too disheveled as she got out of her car. Harry had brought up seeing her halfway through the week and she’d been looking forward to it since she left in the early evening on sunday. It’d only been 3 days and yet she felt giddy, walking into the patio and seeing Harry sitting and watching her as she approached. 

The outfit today was a simple navy dress with a tie in the back. Professional enough but casual to the touch, making it one of her favorite dresses to wear. It highlighted her body but in an appropriate way. It showed the dip in her wait and the flare of her hip, hitting right at the knee. Her brown flats were boring, sure, but she didn’t need blisters today. 

The tall man stood up to greet her, immediately wrapping her up in a hug she didn’t realize she’d desperately needed. Y/N had always been a pretty independent person in her life, not one to rely on people. She didn’t lean on anyone, kept mostly to herself and found it hard to let go- which is why she thought this weekend was probably so impactful for her. Letting Harry make the decisions had felt so good, so freeing, that she was craving it yet again. 

“Hi.” She mumbled into his chest, melting into him as he rubbed his hand against her back. His embrace was warm and safe, enough of a relaxing effect to make some of the tension she’d been carrying melt off her shoulders. 

“Hi, Darling.” He hummed, pressing his lips to her forehead. A sweet greeting that the sweet girl deserved. “Y’alright?” It was a trick question because he knew the answer. 

“Yeah, just been a bit stressed.” She admitted. Harry didn’t want to admit just how relieved that she was giving him honesty over the fake ‘I’m fine’ smile she would be sure to give everyone else. 

“Yeah?” He frowned, smoothing his hands over her shoulders. “M’sorry about that. Why don’t you sit down and we can talk about some of that? I got you a smoothie.” The girl visibly perked up, looking at the pink drink on the table. 

“Strawberry Banana?” She questioned, thanking him for pulling out her seat for her. At his hum of affirmation, a weird feeling settled in her stomach. It was so odd for someone to notice the little things about her. Harry remembered the smoothie she’d gotten with him last time, he remembered her general love of strawberries, and he’d seemingly be interested in knowing the intricacies of her stress. It felt a bit weird, maybe, to be cared for on this level by someone. Someone who wasn’t even her boyfriend. “Thank you.” Her eyes were lighter as she watched him sit down across from her, his gaze locked on her face as she took a sip of her smoothie. 

“You’re welcome.” It had been the hope that she’d like it. He’d been keeping his little notes in his head about things she liked. Y/N had quickly become a bit of a staple in his life and he liked to make her smile, even with something as simple as remembering what smoothie or berries she liked. “Now tell me about what’s been going on.” 

Y/N usually wasn’t one to vent- but the floodgates opened. She felt weirdly comfortable with the man, deciding to let him in on things happening with her work, how her mother had been pressuring her to come home more often when she didn’t really want to considering she knew it would just lead to questions she didn’t want to answer, how she’d been forgetting to eat because work stress had been irritating her and taking over the forefront of her mind and only remembered when he’d text her and ask what she ate that day. A lot of it was trivial and she knew that, people out there had it much worse than she did, but Harry didn’t make her feel judged in the slightest. Instead, his fingers stroked the back of her hand in a soothing motion as he studied her face. 

“And then Danny…” She swallowed the lump in her throat as she met Harry’s eyes apprehensively. “I’m just beginning to see things that I didn’t before. He’s not once asked me how I am, how the weekend really went, how I feel about it. He’s texted me to bitch about work and sports and ask if I was coming out this weekend with the lot of them, but there’s no.. there’s no interest in me. It’s all about him or trivial things and I’m starting to wonder why I haven’t noticed it before.” Her voice was small, wavering slightly as she broke their eye contact to look at the smoothie gone 3/4ths of the way. 

Harry pursed his lips as his hand flipped hers over, instead letting his fingers stroke her inner wrist as he thought of how to respond. It was something he’d noticed too. Danny had never asked how Y/N was that weekend, if she was alright. His phone had sat empty- like he didn’t care and had just dumped her on someone else with no second thought. It had pissed him off too but he didn’t feel he had a right to bring it up first. It wasn’t his relationship, even if he felt some type of way about it. He didn’t want to appear as if he was positioning her to make any sort of decision. It was all her, and he didn’t want her to think he was trying to swoop in and take her away…. Even if that had been a thought a time or three. 

“I’m sorry.” It was how he chose to begin the conversation because in all honesty, he was. He’d been in a situation where he’d felt uncared for not too far in the past and he could remember the emotional wounds- wounds that were still healing. “I know I may not have the most helpful things t’say and I don’t want you to think m’trying to push you in any sort of direction, but let me just say thing.” A large inhale was taken before he continued, hoping she wouldn’t take it in an offensive way. “I don’t understand what he’s doing. If I’m being completely honest with you, I’ve been baffled on how he’s letting this happen,how he even asked me to touch you. If you were mine, I’d never in a million years want anyone to even graze your skin. Let alone do the things m’doing to you. It would drive me mad to think of someone else knowing how you taste, how you look when you finish, and thinking of you saying someone else's name…” A bitter laugh exited him. “I’d be homicidal. So, I can’t wrap my head around how this has happened. But what I can say is that you need to take a look at your relationship and what you want objectively. If it was your friend being treated this way, how you’d feel. Go back and think on how you’ve been treated this whole time.” The next part was going to kill him to say, but he had to. He had to try to be good and supportive. “And I think you’d need to talk to him and tell him you feel neglected. From my eyes it does look that way, and it looks selfish, but perhaps being in a long term relationship makes him a bit lazy.” Harry couldn’t fathom slipping up like that, but again… everyone was different. 

“Bottom line is I want you to be happy, Darling. You’ll still have a friend in me regardless if you’re dating Danny or not. Relationships come and go many times in your life, and just because you’ve put years into it doesn’t mean you have to settle for poor treatment. Okay?” 

Harry’s heart ached when he saw her misty eyes, frowning as he motioned her to come sit on the chair next to him rather than across. The patio was mostly empty anyways, but he didn’t care either way as he pulled her into him for a hug. She didn’t fully cry, but he could feel some dampness on his skin as she nuzzled into his neck. Calming circles were ran over her back, letting her catch her breath as he stayed quiet. He was walking a fine line here. 

“Thank you.” She said, muffled by his shirt. She stayed there for a little bit before pulling out, Harry’s hand lifting to wipe away a few tear stains from her cheeks and smiling when she leaned into his palm. His heart skipped a few beats as he watched her eyes close, relaxing into his touch. God, if she was his he’d plant kisses all over her face and get those giggles back. He’d do anything in his power to make sure the only tears she cried were from pleasure. How could someone be so stupid? “I missed you. Is that weird to say?”

It had only been a few days since she left but she’d missed him quite a bit. Sleeping with him for two days, her own bed had never felt more cold. Never felt less comfortable. There was no knit throw at the bottom of her bed to throw over her shoulders as she made her way downstairs to see him making some sort of breakfast for her. There was no anticipation on what he may ask from her next, if he’d ask her to get on her knees and make him cum. It had only been the first few days and yet she felt addicted to his touch, how he made her feel. 

His smile was warm, thumbing over her cheek as he shook his head. “It’s not weird to say, Pet.” He mumbled, watching her breathing hitch. He’d missed her too. He wanted her back in his bed, back in his kitchen. It had been a tiny hint of what could be and his brain couldn’t stop thinking about if they’d had a proper shot. If he could take her on as not only a full time sub, but as his girl. If she’d sit pretty waiting at home for him when he went out, if she’d follow him around the house like a pup like she had the last day he had her like she was aching for any sort of pet or scratch. “Only two more nights and you’ll be back with me though, hm? Coming right t’my place after you're finished with work?”

“Mhm.” She nodded, eyes wide as she looked up at him. There it was again. That shift, so subtle in his tone but the energy could be felt between them. “I’ll come right to you, I promise.” 

“I know you will, Pet. You’ve already proven you’re my good girl.” His voice was soft as he felt her lean further into him, watching as she nearly melted at the term of endearment. Y/N was just so fucking sweet, he was going to get a toothache. “You’ve been behaving, hm? Not touching yourself like I asked?” 

“Promise.” She whispered. “I was sore for the first day and- and then I remembered what you promised me if I listened. It’s been hard because…” Her face flushed. “Because I keep remembering what we did and how good it felt and then I get all worked up but… I want t’be good for you, sir.” Her voice was soft so it could be kept between them, but Harry knew he was starting something dangerous. His cock twitched in interest as he looked at her slightly wet lips, remembering how he’d felt slipping between them. How she’d been so needy, wanting to take him all the way inside of her throat. 

“I believe you, Puppy.” He chuckled under his breath. “But I hope you know you aren’t the only one who’s been thinking about it. Not only about how good it is, but how many other things I want to do t’you. Just got a bit of a taste for it and my mind’s already running rampant with filth.” He moved his touch to her lip, brushing over the bottom as he let out a sigh. He wanted to hear her cum for him again. Wanted to feel her clench around him, smell her scent on him as he went back home. “So if I tell you t’go to the restroom and wait for me, you’ll be a good little Puppy and do it?”

Her heart rate picked up as she picked up what he was laying out. Oh, god. She hadn’t expected to do anything like this today but she’d never deny him. Maybe that would be a fault of hers later on down the line but there was no way she could say no to him or his touch. “I’ll go right now.” She nodded, standing up on shaky legs the moment his touch fell away. Grabbing her bag, she placed it over her shoulder and walked briskly towards the bathroom, feeling herself heat between her legs as she did so. 

Public play and risky touch was something she’d wanted to experiment with and she was sure Harry remembered that too. It amazed her how much he paid attention to detail and how thoughtful he really was, all things considered. Her legs felt shaky as she stood at the mirror, waiting in anticipation for the man who’d been taking up the majority of her mind the whole week. It had been near constant thought of him when she hadn’t been texting him, talking to him more frequently than her own official boyfriend- but she was more connected with Harry than him at this point in time. She winced at the thought of not being with him in the future, but she never allowed herself to think of the fact that her and Harry had an ending date, even if neither of them knew it. 

The focus now was pleasure. 

Her body jumped as the bathroom door swung open, the man confidently striding in and pointing towards the biggest stall. Wordlessly she nodded, following the unspoken instruction to get in there. 

It moved a bit quickly after that, or maybe her head was just fuzzy from the dominance leaking off of the man. His large hand gripping her jaw and tilting it up so he could kiss her the way he wanted, tasting him on her tongue with a soft moan as he pressed his other hand against her ass and began to ride her dress up. 

“Did it on purpose, didn’t you?” He growled, tugging it up until her ass was exposed to the open air. Her thong was doing her little favors as his hand came down in a sharp smack, making her whimper against his lips as his fingers dug into the stinging flesh. “Wore a cocktease of a dress yet again so I’d take you in here and make you cum. Puppy wants t’be a whore for me?” He pulled their lips apart so she could properly answer. 

“I-I didn’t mean to, but I want you, Sir.” She blinked up at him with hazy eyes, gasping when his hand swatted the other side of her ass. 

“Didn’t even wait for the bruising to go all the way away before you got a hand on that pretty ass again. You’re filthy.” He clicked his tongue, holding on to the heated skin as he laid another kiss on her lips. “What’s your color, Puppy? Can I play with you in here?” 

“Green, so green. I promise.” She swallowed, near close to begging. “I- I want to try this, anything you give me. I’ll be good, I’ll do ask you ask. I missed you, Sir.” Her insistence obviously did something to the man, his features softening slightly at her words. 

“I missed you too, sweet thing. M’not gonna give you my cock today because m’gonna keep myself at the edge this whole week. We’re having plenty of fun this weekend… but since you’ve been such a good little plaything for me and listen so fucking well, m’gonna let you cum on my fingers. A little reward.” He pecked her sticky lips again, releasing her ass to slide his fingers towards the front. “Is that good enough for you, Pet?” 

“Mhm, anything Sir, Anything- Oh.” She gasped as her panties were tugged roughly to the side, his digits sliding through her slit and making her breathing catch in her throat. The moment he got her hands on her she knew she was turned into mush, pathetic and wet, but Harry seemed to enjoy it. 

“I know. You’ll take anything I give you, not like y’have much of a choice. I’m in charge of you and your greedy holes.” He whispered, thumbing over her clit. “Got so fucking wet in such a little amount of time. Or did you get worked up just by the sight of me?” He theorized correctly. “Remembered what we did the last time we were together, how good my cock fucked you out… Is that what happened?” His words were taunting, slightly condescending as she rolled her hips into his hand. He’d pushed her back against the wall, the cool brick making her shiver slightly- but nothing could compare to the heat he was making her feel. 

“Mhm, I-I couldn’t help it.” She felt like her tongue was twisting as it usually did when she fell further into this headspace. “I always think about how good you make me feel, Sir. It’s so amazing.” Her voice slurred slightly as he pushed the first finger inside of her. 

“I know, sweetheart. It is amazing, how your body turns you into the filthiest whore I’ve ever met the moment I walk into a room.” He sighed, slipping knuckle deep inside of her as she squirmed. “God, got such a greedy cunt too. Sucking my finger right in. Know it’s been hard for you to keep those dirty hands off, but your cunt belongs t’me now. M’so glad you’ve kept enough smarts even when you’re horny and gagging for it t’know that I’m the only one who gets to touch.” Harry loved knowing that, actually. She had given herself over to him and made it so he was the one in charge of her orgasms, he was the one who was going to make her feel good and no one else. Y/N had slipped into being a sub for him so easily he had to wonder how she hadn’t ventured into it earlier. She was a natural. 

He watched her eyes flutter shut as he slipped his grip from her jaw down to her throat. He didn’t squeeze quite yet, instead holding her as a form of ownership. If only she knew she owned him just as much. “I’ve been thinking about it too, pretty pet. Been thinking about how much m’looking forward to taking you to the club this weekend and showing you off, how lucky I am to get t’train such a perfect little sub. You’ve been incredible, y’know that?” Slipping some praise in there had her cunt quivering around his finger, making his smirk grow. 

“Oh, Puppy likes being called good. I knew that, but how are you going to feel with all those people watching you prove it? Gonna make them so jealous that you’re so good for me, that you take my cock so well.” Harry purred the words out, rubbing his cock up against her hip as he entered another finger into her sopping cunt. She was drippy and slick, just the way he liked it. It was a shame he was a glutton for his own punishment, but he knew that his orgasm this week was going to be fucking incredible. 

“Sir…” Y/N didn’t even know what she wanted to say, her mouth opening and closing as he curled his fingers right into the spot she needed. It was almost embarrassing how quickly she was coming to an end but she had figured out that he liked that. Harry loved giving her pleasure and making her orgasm, so he was pleased. 

“I know, my needy pup.” My, my, my. Y/N’s brain focused on that claiming title, making her whimper. “I know, you’re gonna cum all over my fingers like the perfect slut you are. M’obsessed with this cunt, you know that?” He laid on some more compliments. “Perfect for my cock, so snug and hot… gets sopping wet just for me.  Love the messes you make. If we had more time I’d slip myself into you and use your cunt to make myself cum, let you walk out of here with my spunk dribbling down your leg. And you’d love it because you love everything I give you.” His fingers applied some pressure on the sides of her neck, giving that headrush she’d been craving ever since she got it last. 

“Yes, yes, yes, yes- anything.” She babbled, eyes watering as his fingers nailed right into the spot and the heel of his palm smacked against her clit. It was only a moment later that the door opened and someone obviously on the phone came in, making her eyes widen. Harry instead, though, shook his head. 

“Keep fucking quiet and cum.” He whispered into her ear. “Don’t want the nice woman to know you’re being finger fucked in this stall, do you?” He nuzzled his nose against her cheek. “C’mon, sweet pup. You can do it, be nice and quiet for me. If she listens close enough she’ll be able to hear how wet your cunt is around my fingers, we don’t want that do we?” His taunts were pushing her up and up… 

Harry felt drunk in this moment, overly smug and in power. Y/N was loving every single bit of this as she clung to him, her arm over his shoulder keeping her from falling down on weak knees. He could see on her face how close she was, her eyes watering slightly as he kept the same pace up. It had been ages since he’d indulged in anything like this, let alone with someone so deliciously reactive to him, and he felt an addiction begin to grow as he felt her tighten around his fingers. 

“There we go, you’re right there. Cum for me, baby.” He coaxed, groaning quietly against her skin as he felt her let go. The gush around his fingers, her body trembling as he moved to cover her mouth with his own and the nails digging into his shoulder as she squirmed in his hold. 

The sink went on, the woman still on the phone as she washed her hands and the sound of the automatic paper towel dispenser rang throat the bathroom as he kept his grip on her throat, waiting patiently for the door to close before he released her. A shaky, loud inhale sounded in the echoing room, Harry pulling her into his body as his finger slowly pulled from her cunt. 

“There she is… You did so fucking good, angel.” He whispered, rubbing the back of her neck as he let her recover. “You’re so amazing,y’know that? Kept so quiet for me. Bet that felt so good, didn’t it?” He pulled back to look at her face, cooing at the fucked out look on it. The pride he felt for being the one to put that look on her was filling his chest. It was an honor that she allowed him to do this sort of stuff to her, that she placed all her trust in him to make sure she was safe and felt good. It wasn’t something he took lightly despite the teasing he could give her while in it.

“So good.” She whispered, her head thudding against his chest. He let out a laugh as she lifted her other arm, wrapping it around his shoulders and leaned into him which he fully allowed. Hugging after such a filthy thing was something she would have prior assumed would be awkward, but it wasn’t in the slightest. She felt safe. Cared for. His hand running over her back as he held her, whispering praises. “That was amazing. I… I always wanted to do something like that.” 

Harry remembered that. His lips pecked over her hair, letting her regain strength from her orgasm before moving to grab a bit of tissue. “I remembered. I told you I wanted t’give you all the things I could.” Gently he wiped her clean, apologizing when she winced in sensitivity. “M’sorry, sweetheart. Got to clean you up.” He had to make sure she was good. “M’gonna leave you in here while I wash my hands and I want you to use the bathroom, yeah? Need to be safe.” It was better for her to use it now that to wait. 

“Kay.” She sighed, not thinking twice before leaning up on her toes and pressing a kiss to his lips. When she pulled back she froze, blinking with wide eyes as she looked up at him. “Oh, shit. Is that okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t think about it. I don’t know if you want to keep that just in scenes or if you wanted me to-”

Lips cut her off. A deeper kiss was pressed to her mouth, answering her question for her before he even pulled off. “Don’t overthink it. You can do that whenever you want.” He mumbled, wiping the corner of her lip for her. 

While washing his hands Harry knew that he should have made a boundary there. They shouldn’t be kissing outside of scenes, they shouldn’t have this casual affection, but he would be damned if he ever rejected her in that way when he craved it just as bad. Perhaps allowing that sort of thing was setting themselves up for a world of hurt, but Harry couldn't find it in himself to care. Y/N wasn’t getting what she needed from the very man who pushed her into his arms to be an experiment for her. It wasn’t his fault that they had overwhelming chemistry. 

He already had a hard time denying her. Y/N had quickly become his weakness, one he hadn’t expected. But when being with someone felt this good, it was hard to imagine it being anything but right. 

[shanastoryteller]

happy valentine Shana!!! I can't believe i made it finally jgfcjjcgjgx i would love to see some fma (Sacrifice is free/ed&ling betrothed/What They Expect) or more of Lord Arthur De Bois, or time travel Jiang Cheng/drarry, or Avengers' Three Faced Goddess! (can anyone tell I Cannot choose favourites? They're all so gooood) and if none of those sound appealing, dealer's choice! thank you!!

continuation of 1 2 3 4 5

It's sort of awkward, because Eden insists on thick tights and long sleeves and keeps her gloves on, but Catherine takes it in stride and doesn't react with anything more than a single raised eyebrow. Maybe she thinks she has some sort of terrible skin condition on her limbs, or something, because she's perfectly fine with plunging necklines and the lacy bras Catherine shoves at her.

She hasn't worn anything besides a sports bra since she's had breasts. They're not exactly comfortable, but compared to the constant, background ache of the automail it doesn't even make a blip on her radar.

Besides. They make her look like a girl, shoving her breasts up front and center, and their size had been an annoyance when passing for a boy and a comfort when she looked at herself naked in the mirror, searching for the girl she was rather than the boy everyone saw, but this is different.

"Wow," Catherine blinks, tilting her head to the side.

Eden flushes and wishes that at any point she'd learned how to talk to pretty girls outside of life or death situations. "I hadn't realized they - I'm not used to wearing, um, girly stuff."

"You look good in it," she says, touching Ed's back and shifting her to face the mirror.

She's in black tights and boots with a chunky heel, taller than the ones she normally wears and sleeker, stopping just below her knees. She's wearing a dark green dress with a deep neckline. She's used to be hard lines and sharp edges, but she looks soft here, her hips and breasts curving out from her waist and the dress somehow minimizing the breadth of her shoulders, or maybe it's just that with all the skin on display in the center, her shoulders just don't get as much attention. She'd had to build them up, to make the automail balanced, to make sure her body could support it, and she'd always hated how masculine it made her look. But looking at herself now, she wonders if that just wasn't in her head.

Green's never been a color she gravitated towards, but the dark color makes the gold of her hair shine, brings out the warmth of her eyes and the pink of her lips.

"You're really good at this," she tells Catherine, throat tight.

Catherine grins. "You are a beautiful canvas, Eden. It was not difficult." Ed's face burns. "Do you have plans for dinner? We could have it at my home. I am, honestly, dying to curl your hair."

Ed hesitates, because her shade of blonde is rather distinctive, then takes a second look at herself in the mirror. No one is going to think she's the Fullmetal Alchemist looking like this. "Okay, yeah. Sure. That'd be great."

~

Catherine knows that Eden is military at first glance, seeing her elder sister in the way Eden stands and moves. She looks young, but she can't be that young, not when she has the stance of someone who's been enlisted for years.

She figures that Eden is looking for clothes to wear outside of her uniform for the first time and something in her softens at how insistent Eden is on keeping certain parts of her body covered. Her siblings have scars too.

When they get to their home, Eden seems slightly surprised at the grandness of her home, but gets over it quickly, which Catherine almost expected. She hadn't looked at a single price tag as they'd been shopping and had paid for her bags of purchases with a nonchalance that spoke of a familiarity with money, although that leaves Catherine to wonder how she ended up in the military in the first place. She hadn't gotten a last name out of her, but Catherine is familiar with most military families, and she would have heard if any of their daughters had enlisted.

"Your bedroom is so pretty," Eden says, looking around at her pink, frilly room filled with flowers and clothes and gilded in gold with a soft wistfulness.

Catherine loves her. "Thank you. Here, sit at my vanity, let's play."

Eden laughs and pulls her hair out of the hasty ponytail she'd pulled it into, letting Catherine run her hands through it and carefully brush out every knot. It's gorgeous, thick and silky and the most wonderful shade that Catherine's never seen on anyone else.

People always act so oddly with her because of her family, even those similarly situated looking down at her for her choices, to be neither an officer nor married to one, but that's just not what she wants right now. It's nice to hang out with another girl that just treats her like a friend.

"MY BELOVED SISTER HAS RETURNED!" booms from what sounds like the first floor.

She sighs.

Eden goes rigid in her chair, eyes wide. "What - why-"

"It's just my brother," she says soothingly, concerned with how pale Eden has gotten. "He's harmless, really."

"Brother," Eden repeats. "Fuck. Fuck! I'm so stupid-"

"It's okay," she says in alarm, "Eden, what-"

She gets to her feet, grabbing her hands and looking at her a desperation that Catherine doesn't understand. "He can't know I'm here. Who I am. Do you understand? It's important."

She doesn't understand. "Eden-"

There's the sound of heavy footsteps heading their way and Eden wrenches herself away, bolting for the other side of the room. She claps her hands together, then presses them against the wall, and in flash of light she's disappeared.

Catherine stares. mouth agape.

She's familiar with alchemy. The skill has been passed down her family for generations.

Eden didn't use a circle.

"I HEAR YOU HAVE MADE A FRIEND, DEAR SISTER!" Alex shouts, flinging open her door and flexing in the doorway. "I WISH TO MEET YOUR NEW COMPANION!"

She picks up a pillow from her bed and lobs it at him, hitting him right in his stupid curl. "We're having girl time, go away!"

"Ah, girl time!" he says. "A storied tradition that has been passed down the Armstrong family for many generations!" He looks around, seeing her empty room, and his eyebrows dip together.

She grabs a makeup brush, holding it up threateningly. "You know what else has been passed down our family for generations? The art of knocking! Go bother Momma!"

"Where's," he starts.

Catherine throws the brush, pointy end towards his eyes.

He ducks, retreating to the safety of the hallway and closing the door just in time for the brush to hit it.

She takes a deep breath, calming her racing heart and smoothing her hands down her skirt. She crosses the room, knocking against the wall and whispering, "Eden? He's gone."

There's nothing for a moment and then there's light and heat and she's looking at the the inside of her house, pipes and insulation, and Eden standing there in the center of it, eyes blown wide and lips trembling.

Eden, who won't let her look at her limbs and doesn't know how to wear girly things and uses alchemy without circles and recognizes her brother from his voice alone.

"I'm sorry," Eden whispers, arms wrapped around herself, trying to make herself small. "I just wanted-"

Catherine interrupts her, reaching out to place her hand over the arm Eden had been careful not to let her touch and is unsurprised to feel hard, unyielding metal. "The art of secret keeping had been passed down the Armstrong family for generations."

Eden's eyes snap to hers and Catherine smiles, squeezing her arm and hopes that she can feel it. Slowly, wondrously, Eden returns it.

[tiredmamaissy]

Ralak te Sepwan ieyk’itan: Special Episode II 

Concurrent Tides

An Illustrated Collaboration with @zestys-stuff

Masterlist ; Rut/Heat/Knotting Info

🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞

Hyperlinks are attached to specific paragraphs that when clicked on will lead you to its illustration by Ralak's creator @zestys-stuff. Most illustrations are now on her patreon.

Characters: Metkayina!Ralak (24) x Sully!Omaticaya!Reader (19) Warnings: nsfw, smut, fluff, profanity, age gap, aggressive rut cycle, heat cycle, dom/sub dynamics, jealousy/posessiveness, knotting, marking, scenting, praise kink, breeding kink, size difference, p in v, mating/bonding, multiple climaxes, creampie, ralak is a bit of a meanie in this, let me know if I forgot anything? Word Count: 10k Requested: Yes || No Author’s Note: the second special episode is finally here. sorry it took forever to get it out, but better late than never :') i hope you guys enjoy <3 theres another part to come after this one! 🤍 Synopsis: what happens if you and your new mates cycles sync? 

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——

“Only I knot you.”

That was the first time you’d ever seen Ralaks eyes shift in colour. That same night right after he pulled you out of his memory of his first rut. A beautiful, deep blue, glistening before your honey glazed orbs. It’s barely been a week since that night, yet it replays over and over. Day and night. How he looked at you with nothing but unadulterated greed, hardly catching his breath as he tried to steady his galloping heart. It was something deep-rooted and primal. 

Something animalistic. 

Since, you’ve longed to see him fully immersed in such a state. A state where self control and sexual desire no longer coexist. He’s always too concerned with you and what he thinks you can and cannot manage that he never allows himself to do what he truly wants. The level of restraint you feel through the bond is indescribable. A level you nor any other na’vi could conceivably attain. Regardless, most nights you find yourself fantasizing about this ‘lack of control’ right before bed. 

Nights like tonight. 

Where the stars shimmer so brightly that you need to draw the curtains, and the air is exceptionally cold and crisp that you need to huddle closely together for warmth. When your nose is buried so deep into his chest that there's no other choice for his scent to fill your lungs. And tonight he smells extraordinarily good. The salt of the sea mixed with leather hide. And oddly enough, he smells like… home. The forest and its greenery. It’s quite ironic but perhaps it’s Eywa’s way of saying that this man is truly yours. It's so comforting and right. Like a cup of hot tea on a stormy night, never failing to put you to sleep. A remedy that works in seconds — but not tonight. 

Tonight you’re restless and he can sense it. 

“What is it?” Ralak husks, shifting his position to hold you a little closer. “Cold?” 

Truthfully, you’ve been feeling a little off. Your body has been restless and haunted. As if it could sense some sort of change of shift in the atmosphere. Or perhaps it was between the two of you. “No.” You mumble, lifting your head to look up at him. “Just can’t sleep.”

Ralaks ears twitch, a little surprised his typical soothing techniques aren’t working. He sits up quite quickly, bringing you up with him as he scoots back into frame of his bed. His brows lower when he ponders about what could be keeping you so on edge. He takes note of your flushed appearance and the minute changes in your eyes, they’re glowing a little brighter recently. 

His brows jump when the realisation dawns on him. 

Could it be? He knows it’s close but is it really already affecting you? How is that possible? And does that mean it will be even more severe this time around? 

He had every intention to stay but perhaps it’ll be more difficult than he expected. He should really tell you, but he knows exactly how that would play out. You would get your way as per usual, it was hard for him to deny you of anything you wanted. A quick swish of your tail and it was yours. Ralak took pride in caring and providing for you. But not for this. This was just plain dangerous. And therefore he couldn’t allow you to figure it out. It’s ultimately safer that he keeps it to himself, at least until you’ve adjusted to him a little more. Your intimate moments together are very few in number after all. 

“Why is that, tanhì?” He asks in a low, steady tone, fixing his mask of indifference tightly to his face. 

You may be a slow learner, but you weren’t slow. You could sense that he wasn’t being all that transparent with you. 

“I don’t know. Something feels off about you.” You say in an almost accusatory tone, finally sitting up to look him in the eye. He’s pale in the face and his breath becomes raggedy. “Tell me, Ralak.” 

You watch as his pupils constrict, leaving nothing but a black dot in an open sea of blue. Within a matter of seconds, they deepen in colour and his eyelids flutter shut. He clears his throat, and waits a few seconds to open his eyes. They’re back to normal but you could’ve sworn they looked different. Just like they did a few nights ago. 

“What just happened to your—” Your heart begins to race as you utter the words, only to be cut off by Ralaks hasty voice. 

“Inland. Tomorrow morning. Overnight hunting trip.” He grinds them out as if it physically hurts to say the words. Anything to keep you from figuring it out. 

What? Is he — lying to you? 

This isn’t like him. He avoided trips inland at all costs. Anything to stay with his tanhí. He’d even go as far as faking an illness, despite rarely getting ill, to get out of accompanying Tonowari. Especially for overnight trips. 

“And why did you not tell me earlier?” You manage to squeak out a closing throat, backing away to create a little distance.

He shakes his head as he blinks rapidly, staying put to allow as much space as you need. “I was hoping I did not need to go.” He utters, dropping his head to lock his gaze on your twiddling thumbs. His eyes trail up your dark blue frame, taking note of how your body is already almost trembling —already responding to him— all out of your control. He bows his head, hiding his face. “But it seems that I cannot get out of this one. I am sorry, my paysyul.” 

For a fleeting moment, you really thought this was the beginning of something bad. Something deceitful. But, his words instantly bring you comfort, slowing your leaping heart and putting your mind at ease. 

But the funny thing is that there was no lie. 

There was really an overnight trip inland with Tonowari. One that Ralak arranged himself. Tonowari was especially taken aback by Ralaks suggestion of a hunting trip and immediately queried if he was alright, putting a firm hand on his forehead to determine if he had some sort of fever. But once Ralak explained himself, Tonowari was smiling and laughing, smacking a few blows on his back as a form of approval, teasing him yet again about ‘the love story between an Akula and an ilu’. 

Your sigh brings Ralak out of his deep thought, chin leaving his chest to witness you sliding back into bed, turning on your side and backing up onto him. A smirk pulls at the his lips as he joins you, enveloping you in his warmth once more. A wave of relief washes over him as he rests his chin on the crown of your head. He’s thankful that you didn’t press any further. Otherwise, he would’ve had to reveal his best kept secret. 

His upcoming rut. 

—— 

The harsh thump of Ralaks heart rouses him to the sight of his mate clung to his chest. He admires your beauty, allowing his eyes to fall on your chest, watching closely as you breathe slowly. He gently pulls back the thin sheeting covering your body, exposing your puffy nipples to the cool morning air. When they stiffen into peaks, saliva pools in his mouth. At this point he would have looked away because of basic na’vi decency, but this morning is different. 

He allows himself to stare. To take in every detail on your chest. To sear it into his memory so he can visualise you just like this as he relieves himself. Exposed before his eyes, supple skin glistening as the rays of sunlight reflect against your freckles, exposed, stiffened nipples, that act as the perfect bait to lure in a hungry predator. 

Predator.

That’s what he’ll be in a matter of minutes. Nothing but a slave to his own urges and instincts. Ravenous. Insatiable. Voracious. With not even a sliver of self composure left to hold onto an ounce of rationality. He can already feel it creeping up on him, the hunger deep in his core turning him into the beast that he appears to be on the outside. It’s always been like this. A little too much. Too overwhelming. 

Too aggressive. 

And as the years passed it only worsened. Six unmated years. With no one but himself to make it through the tortuous few days. He just knows that he would be too rough with you. It’s his biggest fear, after all. To have no self control. To hurt the one thing he loves more than Eywa’s gift of life itself. He would sacrifice his own (life) if it meant to save yours.

He was hoping to endure it. Bite his tongue through it and be by your side. Perhaps take a long bath in the lake and crawl into bed after you’ve gone to sleep and relieve himself as quietly as he can. But now that it’s here in full bloom, he’s already having a hard time containing his urge to spread your legs and use you as his own personal fucktoy. 

But you’re more than that to him. 

And this is why he’s choosing to leave before you wake. Before he can no longer contain himself to just staring at your bare chest. Before he pulls the sheet down even further and parts your legs—already trembling from his leaking pheromones—and has a taste of his sweet, sweet tanhí. Rather, he uses his last shred of self composure to plant a firm kiss on your forehead before quickly gathering his gear and heading out the door. 

Unbeknownst to him, you were awake the entire time. 

You could feel his eyes bore into your tiny frame as the crisp morning air grazed past your nipples, just like you could feel the roughness of his kiss right above your brow. You wanted to open your eyes but the way his pheromones waft up your nose had you in a foggy trance. Your eyes burned under your eyelids and your body felt so heavy and hot. 

You couldn’t help but think, is this his rut?

To be influenced by his cycle? You had felt it before. His first rut in the flashback, but it was nothing like this. Sure, it had you shivering and a little on edge but this was to another level. You could barely open your eyes, much less get out of bed. This entire time your body has been sending warning signals that its mate was peaking in his cycle — restlessness, clinginess, the nesting. You had unknowingly gathered enough fruits and grains to last you a few days. Even in this murky state of mind you finally manage to link the pieces of the puzzle together. 

Listening to his footsteps as he walks out the marui, you muster up as much strength as you can to open your eyes. It’s blurry and honestly all just one blob. You could only make out a few colours trailing behind this gentle giant—green, blue and orange. All of which mix together and move like the aurora in the night sky. If one could see what a pheromone looks like, this would be it. When you finally get enough strength to part your chapped lips to mutter his name, the colours disappear as the marui flap closes behind him. 

You really thought that once he left and the room aired out, that the influence of his pheromones on your body would lift as well. But you were wrong. Instead, the heaviness of your body grew tenfold, making it hard to breathe. It’s as if your lungs were filled to the brim with cold water, yet they burned as you squirmed around to fill them with air. The fire in your lungs quickly spread to your extremities, leaving your entire being in a sweltering inferno. 

This feeling is familiar, yet foreign all at once. A desire so extreme it burns from within. The desire to be connected with your mate on all levels known to the na’vi. To satiate the itch of your empty, fertile womb by filling it with his seed. 

Why did you have to get your heat now?

You call for Ralak a few times in your dazed state, only for you to be reminded by nothing but the crash of the waves that he’s gone. Soon the heavy rumble of the waves is drowned out by your whimpers and whines as you call for your mate to no avail. All you can manage to do in your feverish haze is kick off whatever cloth is stuck to your body, curl into a ball and rock to ease the unbearable sensation between your legs.

All until you hear a familiar, husky voice. 

“I was doing some sessions with Ronal and—”

“R-Ralak?” You call out in relief, hoping your prayers have finally been answered. You roll onto your side and squint at the figure in the door frame. 

“Uh. Not quite.” He quickly mutters under his breath, moving his forearm to shield his nose from your strong pheromones wafting his way. “Eywa—” He mumbles the great mothers name like a curse as he looks around the marui for your mate. “Where is Tak?” 

Tak?

The more you squint your eyes, the more you’re able to make out who this figure standing in your doorway is. Your blurred vision clears just enough to reveal the unforgettable, brawny features of no other than Ka’ani. 

“Ka’ani?” You say the name slowly, unsure if you should believe your eyes. 

“Hah. What do you know…” Ka’ani scoffs, moving his arm from his face to lean in to get a better look at your condition. You’re panting yet shivering, glazed in your own sweat and slick. He smirks a little as he pulls back, spitting out the words, “…bitch in heat.” 

“What are you... d-doing here? You should leave!” You try to shout, although it comes out more as a hoarse cry. 

“Why should I? It looks like you need a hand.” Ka’ani jesters, physically extending his hand towards you as he wiggles his thickset fingers. 

“Haa. I really don’t.” You pant, hugging your knees to your chest even tighter.

“You’re sitting in a puddle of your own sweat.” Ka’ani’s voice is harsh, yet laced with concern. “And whatever else is coming out of you.” His jaw clenches and unclenches as he looks away from you, seemingly out of — respect? He catches sight of the full bucket of fresh water at your bedside, along with empty drinking bowls.

Has she not been tended to all day? Not a sip to drink? Ka’ani thinks to himself, concerned as to why Tak’s mate would be alone, uncared for and in heat of all things. 

You finally muster up the energy to tug the sodden sheet over your naked body and scoot back further to the frame of the bed. “Ralak said he will be back soon. You should leave if y-you want to live.” You lie, feeling a little threatened that a male na’vi has barged into your marui while you’re in heat. 

“Yeah, I don’t believe that for a second, y/n. None of this makes sense.” Ka’ani speaks, taking a few steps towards you. 

You shuffle even further back only for your back to make contact with the bed frame. A rush of fear surges through you. The type of fear that has your heart twisting behind your ribs. You cross your legs over one another, bunching up the sheet between them and beg with trembling lungs, “P-Please, Ka’ani. Don’t.” 

Ka’ani stops dead in his tracks, seemingly offended by your assumption that he’d be approaching you to do something that the great mother herself would look down upon. Sure, he tracked your scent last time, but he was here atone exactly for that. 

“Syor [relax]. I would never do such a thing.” He says through gritted teeth, storming towards the bedside and quickly pouring you a drink. “No matter how strong your scent is. Although, you don’t smell all that great now that you’re mated.” He chuckles lightly as he hands you the drink. Your eyes jump between him and the cup in his hand before you struggle to sit up. His hand instinctively reaches out to assist you, but you bat it away and continue to pull yourself up. 

“Just — let me help you.” He snaps, supporting your back when you finally give in. “Drink.” He commands, plunking the cup in your hand, taking a step back and crossing his arms.  

You gulp down the water greedily, finally quenching your thirst and hoping it will provide some level of relief to your febrile condition. You hum to yourself as the water makes its way down your throat, but groan when you feel no better. Meanwhile, Ka’ani takes in your state, feeling a twinge in his heart for you when he sees how you’ve been suffering. You look more than uncomfortable. You look like you’re in pain.

“You’ll be alright, y/n. Just tell me where he went and I’ll go fetch him.” He speaks in a more gentle tone, taking the empty cup from your hand.

“I-I don’t — haah. He said he went… He went inland to hunt.” You blubber out, feeling your body heat to a dangerous degree. It has you shaking as you ease yourself back into a more comfortable position. 

Ka’ani shakes his head a bit, “Inland to hunt? Really? When his mate is in heat? Tak would never. The only time he’d ever do that is if he is also… in rut.” Ka’ani stalls on the last few words that slip off his tongue, tasting them in his mouth as the realization sets in. Ka’ani quickly fills the cup, sets it next to you and bolts to the door. Before he ducks under the flap of your Marui, he looks over his shoulder and reassures you.

“Sit tight, forest girl. I know exactly where he is.”

— —

It’s been a few hours since coming to his usual spot — the waterfall with the coldest water known to the reef people. It is Ralaks most private and intimate place aside from his humble abode. A place where only a select few people know about. He’s most drawn to the low temperature of the water, making it a perfect environment to endure the heat of his rut in. 

Despite doing this for the past few years, each cycle gets a little more intense. And this one is certainly no exception. 

Ralak sits underneath the overhang, right in the dip of the plunge pool, and allows the water to beat on his back. He’s maintained this position for the past few hours, only releasing himself when the pressure in his core grows too much. A pressure so immense it would have his body acting on its own accord — a wandering hand finding its way to his swollen cock. 

Truth be told, he hated the feeling. 

He hated feeling so out of control. To be nothing but a slave to his own primal impulses. He’d fight it as much as he could, just like he is now, until the sensation is just too intense to ignore. Until he’s grunting and squirming with a body so heated it has him grinding his teeth. 

He quickly stands up, tilting his head back and covering his face from the stream of the water with his hands. At this point his cock is so swollen that it’s outright painful, throbbing and pulsing from the lack of attention. He thinks of you — your thin tail and tiny stature. The way you lay in bed this morning before he left. Naked and exposed before his eyes. Eywa, how he wishes you were here. How he could finally spend his rut with his mate, but he just knows it would be too much for you to handle. 

The thoughts of you make this no easier, sending his hips thrusting into the air — the running water stimulating his thudding cockhead. He groans from the immense pleasure a little water brings him. He’s neglected himself so badly to the point that he feels like this could really make him cum. But how many times has he cum by now? 

Once? Twice? Thrice? 

He lost count after the fifth time, not that he was keeping track anyways. If anything he was downright denying himself the pleasure, and convincing himself that he remained in control. But fuck, the image of your delicate body —the possibility that he could break you if he weren’t careful— pushes him over the edge. Before he can stop himself, his hot cum is spilling from his slit all over the length of his cock and he’s unable to keep his noises at a minimum. 

“Mmmph.” His deep growl rumbles, a hand grabbing a firm hold of his jumping cock. 

He squeezes what’s left out of his slit, finally looking down to see the state of himself. It’s red and raw — spikes fully erect and balls drawn so close to his body they’re practically hiding behind his thick knot. He lets out a loud sigh. 

Relief. 

Finally, he leans back against the rocky wall and slides down into the plunge pool, immersing himself chest deep into the water. He lightly treads back to the bank and makes himself comfortable — allowing his head to rest and body to relax. He takes a few deep breaths and tunes into the burble of the waterfall. 

All until he hears the click of a — 

Ka’ani?

“Tik-Tak.” Ka’ani clicks melodically, cautiously approaching the giant submerged in the waterfall. Ralak doesn’t budge. He remains fixed in position, eyes shut, head and elbows resting on the edge of the river. His chest heaves harshly as he attempts to remain in this less than tranquil state. “Never thought I’d see the day Ralak leaves his mate in heat. To be soaking in a waterfall of all things.” 

Perhaps Ralak heard wrong. Leaving his mate in heat? Ralak would know if his mate were in heat. He would sense it. Whatever rubbish he’s spewing out, Ralak doesn’t have the time, nor patience, for it. 

“Skxawng, what are you on about? Leave me be.” Ralak huffs, wiping the sweat from his face with a quick hand movement.

“Just as I thought. You’re all hot and bothered too, aren’t you?” Ka’ani chuckles. 

“Leave.” Ralak says angrily, his purplish-blue eyes finally snapping up to meet Ka’ani’s. “I have just calmed.”

Ka’ani’s brows knit together, offended and a little confused with himself for being upset from the way Ralak is shooing him away. 

“Oh c’mon brother. All I’ve been told today is to leave!” Ka’ani’s hands fly up as he takes a step forward. “First your mate, and now you. Am I really that unwanted?”

Now he’s got Ralaks attention. 

Ralak gets a whiff of your sweet, sweet pheromones on him. As if he’s been around his tanhì. Scenting his tanhì. Touching his tanhì. His primal urges devour him once more, eating away at him until nothing but a possessive beast remains. One of pure territorial instinct. 

“What did you do?” Ralak growls through a clenched jaw as he jumps out the water and approaches Ka’ani. “Scenting my mate again?” His voice booms as it increases in volume, yet lowers in depth. “Answer me. Did you touch her?!” 

“No!” Ka’ani blurts out, now taking a few steps back with his hands splayed out in front of him. “Is that what you both really think of me? This is the last I ever do some—”

Ralak remains silent, taking quick, calculated strides directly towards Ka’ani, who is now backing up into a tree. Once his back hits the scaly bark, Ralaks' balled fist slams into the trunk, barely an inch away from Ka’ani’s skull. 

“Alright! Alright. I know what I did before. I-I’m sorry. I came looking for you to apologise for that but I found her in heat. Okay? I came here as soon as I realized.” 

Unsure of whether or not to believe a word coming from this skxawng’s mouth, Ralak steps away from his prey, bloody knuckled and full of uncertainty. But the one thing he is certain about is the fact that he wants no other na’vi to find you if you really are in heat. With a huff of defeat, he pushes past Ka’ani and bolts for the shore. 

——

The trek back to the marui is twice as quick. Your pheromones are thick and potent, affecting him even a few feet away from the marui door. And when he steps through the marui door, he’s completely inundated with the thick fog of your pheromones. He feels lost in himself, struggling not to succumb to his instincts. Struggling to regain control.

“Ma’ L-Lak?” You mewl shakily.

You can smell him, just like he can smell you. It only drives you further into your heat, your trembling body now shaking a little more. Sensing that your mate is in close proximity, your scent glands release more of your aphrodisiac to lure him in. In turn, this has its effects on your body — sending you into a submissive state where you feel too heavy to even lift a finger. You lay there, legs splayed out and glossy fingered. 

You watch through blurred vision as the tall and thick silhouette quickly makes its way towards you. Ralak grabs and firmly holds your legs back as he leans in close, making the confirmation that his mate is indeed in heat. He lingers a little longer than he can control, taking everything in him to pull away and calm down — panting and out of breath. 

“It is true.” He huffs, towering over your tiny, shivering frame. “In heat.” The two words drip off his tongue, much like the thick nectar dripping from your slit.

“Lak. Oh — lak. ’ts you.” You cry out in relief, clawing at his thigh to bring him back to you, “‘m so happy it’s you ‘nd not someone else.” His teeth grit as your hand grazes his thigh, but he remains fixed in place, unsure of his ability to keep his composure if he allows himself to give in to your touches. 

What is he supposed to do now? 

He didn’t think this far into his plan… for once in his life. Typically he’s quite calculated and certain of his next move but now — now he’s not sure how he’s going to deal with this. He just knew that he couldn’t leave you alone. Not for another man to find and claim you in the way that only he should. But he has to remain himself. For you. He swallows down his uncertainty before speaking. 

“I should have stayed.” He looks down at the flushed, puffy flesh between your legs with a rapacious glint in his eye. “I am sorry.” 

“Don’t be. Just p-please. It’s to-o much. T-Too hot. It aches, karyu.” Ralak winces when you groan the last few words, it’s almost painful to resist you at this point. You go to claw at this thigh once more, only for him to shift away. “No, don’t do that. Not right now. N-Need you so ba—”

“My rut came. This morning.” He’s quick to cut you off with a strained, yet monotonous voice, unable to peel his eyes away from your swollen cunt. 

“I-I know.” You pant, earning a twitch of Ralaks brows. “‘nd t-that’s good. Ngh—that’s really good,  I-I can help you too.” You mumble, sticking your hand between your legs to fondle with yourself. With the way he grimaces one side of his face, it seems as if he wants to look away, but can’t. 

“No, tanhì. We spoke of this.” His accent is thick as he struggles to string the words together, “No control. Trying hard…” he inhales quickly, eyes plastered to the sight in front of him, “…not to lose it.”

At this point the haze of your heat has you lethargically shaking your head from side to side, mumbling whatever frustrated-fueled words that first come to you “…haven’t cum yet…”, you squirm around to find a position that allows your wandering fingers better access to your hole, “…need to cum.” You slur the words as you barely slip two fingers inside you and you quietly sob when they provide very little release. 

“Ralak!” You cry loudly enough to at last lure his gaze up to yours, the night sea finally meeting the roaring flame. Your voice quiets down into a soft whimper, “Please. Just t-try. Please.” 

A moment of silence passes where you and Ralak stare at one another, hearts pounding and chests heaving, understanding exactly how the other feels. The burning desire to come together. The resistance, yet the lack of control. The eternal flame within. The heat. 

Ralak breaks eye contact to glance at your slender fingers working as hard as they can. He breathes a heavy sigh, feeling a pang of guilt for leaving you when he sees just how raw you are from being in heat all alone. He’s responsible for you even being in this bad of a state, isn’t he? Leaving you before sunrise with nothing but a kiss on the head. If anything that only made it more intense for you. He wants to — no, needs to care for you. It’s what every part of himself is urging him to do. 

“The thought of another finding you… like this.” Ralak rasps as he closes in on you, “so vulnerable… it makes me — haah.” He cuts himself off with a shaky sigh and a clench to his jaw. Beads of sweat ball on his temples, slowly rolling down his angular jaw to eventually meet and drip from his chin onto your stomach. He looms over you, his hair flowing forward when he suddenly grabs and tugs at your wrist in one swift move, yanking your fingers out of you. 

“Ss-ah!” You hiss with a wince, heart skipping a beat when you realise that he’s barely there anymore. “I-It makes you, what?” You ask quietly — nervously, even. 

A bestial growl begins to rumble in his chest, causing a shiver to ripple through you—hardening your nipples into peaks within seconds. Jawbone fluttering from his reluctance to answer, he harshly cups your pussy with his hand, causing you to gasp. His sharp, intimidating stare locks with yours, brows tensing as he allows two, thickset fingers to slip down to your slickened opening. His growl fades into a single, drawn out word. 

“Nìfmokx. [jealous]” 

His admission slips past his lips just as his fingers sink into your aching core, leaving your mouth agape and hot tears spilling over your cheeks. Jealousy isn’t an emotion Ralak is used to feeling. Much less something he would subject you to experience with him. But you could see the raw emotion in his eyes, as they flicker from a dark blue to something even deeper. It’s the way his stare bores into your innermost being as he fills you up with his digits alone, telling you that you were his, and his only. 

He hooks his fingers right into your gummy walls, holding his position as he moves his hand in an up and down motion at full tilt. The tips of his fingers repeatedly slam into your swelling sweet spot, coaxing out broken, filthy noises from your throat. He hums with pride, yet his face remains stone cold, minus the occasional twitch of his jawbone. He’s trying so hard to keep at a steady pace, and not to be too rough with your fragility. 

“Oh f-fuck.” You curse under your breath, both hands grabbing a firm hold of his forearm. You’ve been unintentionally edging yourself all day that you’re already almost there. And no matter how hard you squeeze and claw at his now-veiny arm, he remains unmoving. 

“Go on, then.” He huffs impatiently as he looks down at you, feeling your walls clamp down on his fingers. Your heels sink into the bed when you push your hips into the air, fingernails digging into his skin as you near your first release. You begin to whimper, bucking your hips to chase the feeling of relief. It’s right there. It’s so close; and you just need to allow it to wash through you. You tense up so badly your whole body shakes, sending your teeth chattering and your bottom lip quivering. You swear you can see the stars from the night sky litter your vision and feel your heavy lids flutter shut.

“Look at me.” Ralak demands in a sharp, gruff tone. Your glossy eyes shoot back up to his, and you start to sputter out whatever gibberish comes from your mouth — a few curses mixed with his name and your fathers’ mother-tongue. He continues to glare down at you with a rigid face, tensing his jaw as he wills himself to be gentle and patient with you. “Good. Now cum, little one.” 

Your pathetic noises suddenly fade into a sweet, little cry. A cry of relief when your frustration washes away as you finally come undone on his fingers. The alleviation is so intense that it’s almost consuming; “T-Thank—” you collapse back down onto the bed, “—you. Thank you—haah, thank you karyu.” You pant repeatedly, his forearm ripping from your grip when he unexpectedly wrenches his fingers out of you. You squirm from the sudden emptiness, “Wait—” 

“Do not thank.” He spits the accented words as he stumbles back to create some distance between the two of you. He pants as he attempts to recollect himself, his face of stone finally screwing into something of a grimace. “So…if another na’vi found you, would you thank him too? Hm?”

“Lak. I… N-No.” You stutter, unsure of what to even say. 

“You are mine. My mate…” he growls through thinned lips, “My duty. Understand?” 

“Yes.” You nod quickly, feeling your cheeks heat up. It arouses you to see him so jealous. So possessive. So assertive. 

Ralak slams his eyes shut and gulps so hard it’s audible —visible even. You could see the bump in the column of his throat quickly undulate, his chest heaving harshly and his shoulders dramatically rising and falling with each breath he struggles to take. And for a while, there’s nothing but silence and his heavy breathing that you feel the overwhelming need to break it. 

“Ralak.” 

Your trembling, tiny voice snapping his head back up to you, once tightly closed eyes now flying open to reveal the most beautiful shade of mauve. They pierce into you like a spear through an unsuspecting prey, full of nothing but pure, unadulterated greed. 

You never thought you’d see them again except in that vision. You get lost in them for a little, studying how the gold ring around his blown pupils still remains even in a sea of indigo. 

You sense that he’s in the thick of his rut now and you need to relieve him soon, like he did for you. Or only Eywa knows what will happen. You allow yourself to finally take in the man before you in full, eyes trailing down his sweaty, muscular physique — perfectly carved v-lines and six fingered tattoo — until they land on his aching cock. 

Oh, fuck. Is he bigger? You think, admiring his mushroomy head and erect spikes. It’s oozing and dripping, unable to keep still from how hard it’s pulsing. It’s at least an inch bigger than usual. 

You look away to study his facial expression and by the way he’s looking at you, you can tell he’s waiting for your command, trying his hardest to prevent himself from pouncing on you and fucking you senseless right here and now. You’ve never seen him this way before. Straining so hard to keep himself in one position and struggling to keep his hands to himself. 

“Ralak… More.” You spread your legs as wide as they can go, holding them apart by the bend of your knees, exposing yourself completely. His heavy lidded eyes widen almost as much as your legs, pointed ears flicking upwards in excitement when he sees you assume such a vulnerable and submissive position. 

“Y/n.” He groans, voice thick with arousal and want and maybe a little desperation as he takes in the sweet sight of your still-pulsing and swollen clit poking out between your folds. “I am… losing control.”

Hearing your name fall from his lips in this way — this tone, instantaneously reignites the flame in your core. In seconds your slit is practically dripping, forming a pool of your slick underneath you. “Good.” You pant as you stare up into his slit-like pupils. You swallow quickly before mustering up the courage to invite the beast in. “Now…remind me who I belong to.”

How could he resist now? 

With the way you’re talking and your pheromones so pungent that they fill his lungs to the brim with no space for any other option but to fall into the thick of his rut. Before you can formulate another thought in your foggy state, Ralak has your legs pinned back and is diving nose first into your cunt. 

He wastes no time to have his fill of you, lapping up your juices so desperately your body moves from the force of his licks. He has been wanting to taste you ever since you made a mess on his fingers, fuck — ever since he got a whiff of your scent from outside his marui door, but denied himself the pleasure in the case he couldn’t stop himself from going any further. But now, all restraint and denial is now left out at that very door. 

The flat of his tongue trails up your inner thigh and then back to your folds, tasting a mixture of the sweetness of your slick and the saltiness of your sweat. He groans when his tongue finally grazes past your clit, feeling it throb against his taste buds. He lingers there for a while, swirling and sucking on you until he unlatches to come up for a quick breath of air. 

“Fucking ftxìlor [delicious].” He gasps out a curse, shoving your legs even further back to have seconds of his meal. 

It becomes evident that he’s doing this for himself. Because if he were doing this solely for you, he would have made you cum by now. He’s eating you out as if he’s been starved for weeks, sucking and popping off your clit just to lap up the sweet, sticky nectar seeping from your hole just to coat his tongue. 

He’s nowhere near as quiet as he usually is, grunting and groaning as he swallows your juices. His fingernails dig into your thighs as he tries to keep himself from being too rough with your tiny, dainty body. But, his attempts prove to be futile once you feel your hips lift off the ground from his grip tightening around your thighs. You stare at the sight of your mate between your legs, crinkling his forehead and squeezing his eyes shut as he can’t stop himself from indulging in his urges. 

“Fuck me!” You let out a frustrated moan, your heat having you so on edge you need to cum again. 

His eyes fly open, and within moments he’s tucked under your hips, pelvises flush together as he rests his throbbing, neglected cock between your folds. His tip touches your belly button with ease, beads of precum oozing out of his slit one after the next. 

“This is what you want, yes?” He bucks his hips into you, the tip of his cock smearing his slick all over your deep blue skin. 

“Fuck, yes.” You whisper shakily, chin meeting your chest to look at the masterpiece he’s painting on you. “I want my mates cock.”

He only responds with a rough growl, flipping you over and pushing you onto your stomach.

“Oh shit.” You mutter under your breath, a little afraid of what you’ve gotten yourself into. But you trust Ralak. 

You know that even in rut he would never hurt you. Not intentionally, at least. Of course this is not to say that he would be gentle —you expect that anything but.

With a firm hand to your upper back, his body is pressed against yours and his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck. He breathes in deeply through his nose, holding it in his lungs, and then letting out a hot, shaky breath against your skin, finally allowing himself to really take in your scent. 

He almost becomes drunk off it— at least it feels that way for him. Your scent has him feeling like he’s downed two full bottles of fermented fruit with no chasers in between and he simply can’t get enough of it. 

Hand moving swiftly from your back to your head, he pins your face to the bed as he trails his tongue along your jawbone to the nape of your neck. He lingers a little longer than he can help, suckling on and grazing his pointed canines against the skin. It sends shivers down your spine until your tail curls into the air and back arches in complete submission. You push back into him, feeling his hardened length pressed between the swell of your ass and base of your tail. 

Fuck, you just want it inside you already. 

“Lifting your tail for me, hm?” He huffs, puckering his lips against your skin and suckling tenderly. You can feel the emptiness creep back in, and that maddening itch deep in your womb. You moan softly, like a low hum under your breath, which only riles him up more. He feels like he wants to make you his all over again.

To mate with you. 

To mark you as his in every way so that no other man would even dare look your way. Without warning, Ralak pushes up off you, his sinewy arms caging you in with one hand binding your wrists and the other keeping your head pinned to the bed. His legs hold yours down, his knees locking your ankles in place. 

“You belong to me.” He growls next to your ear, his hand abruptly leaving your head to reach for the base of his skull for his kuru. With a quick tug, he brings it over his shoulder and pops it into his mouth to hold with his teeth. He reaches for your kuru that lies innocently in the dip of your back, and brings it towards his mouth.  

A wave of anxiety washes over you when the image of Ka’ani finding you earlier in your own mess flashes before you. You can’t help but wonder if he would see that if he made tsaheylu right now. Imagine how he’d react when he realizes Ka’ani saw you naked and covered in slick? Your body squirmed at the mere thought, only making Ralak tighten his grip on you. 

“Wait!” Is all you could blubber out before you feel the connection —the bond. Your eyes bulge when you feel him surge through you, two minds becoming one. It takes you by surprise, he’s never one to hastily or unexpectedly make tsaheylu with you. But tonight he makes the bond as if you were a tsurak to be tamed. 

What he sees next drives him further into his territorial urges — your interaction with Ka’ani. The way Ka’ani barged into his home. How he saw your naked, vulnerable body. The fear that you felt when another man invaded your space. When he helped you. Innocently touched you. 

“He touched you.” He says between pants, a mixture of emotions washing over him all at once. But the sharp pang of your heat transferring through tsaheylu has him entirely succumbing to his own urges and carnal instincts. 

He’s simply not there. 

His hips start bucking uncontrollably and his cock is poking and prodding at your puffy folds. The crown of his cock jabs at your clit a few times before finally parting your folds and with a quick snap of his hips he’s probing your entrance. 

It stings when his swollen cockhead breaks past the resistance of your tightness, and he can’t help but lay hold of your hip and hiss from how tiny you feel. This is the first he’s ever had his cock stuffed inside a pussy during his rut. The feeling is all-consuming and he unapologetically yearns for more.  

Hips snapping back, he pops his cockhead out of you only to shove it back in again. And again. And again until he’s repeatedly using your tight, little hole as nothing more than a fucktoy for his own self pleasure. 

He leans back to take in the hazy sight, admiring the way your hole stretches perfectly to accommodate the sheer thickness of his cock. And when he sees the mushroomy part of his head slowly emerge he can’t help the way his hips stutter just to sink it back inside you. 

It’s torturous, not having all of him inside you when that’s what your body is pining for most. He’s so much bigger than normal and you know that this is an itch that only he can scratch. “God—” You whine the foreign word, “—just fuck me already!” 

“Agh. Quiet.” He lets out an irritated grunt, both hands flying to your hips to shove you down onto his cock — a loud, audible smack permeating the air when your sticky pelvises collide. 

It almost overpowers the hoarse yet piercing cry that escapes your quivering lips. You’re so tender that the sudden stretch is too intense and with no time to adjust to his size you find yourself shuddering like you did after he took your innocence —your virginity. 

His head dips back in ecstasy just when his tip kisses your cervix, his eyes screwed shut as he tries not to spray his seed inside your womb right now. His fingers sink into your skin, surely leaving bruises behind that will last for weeks. 

“Hngh — woman.” He groans longingly, dropping his head forward and opening his ineberated eyes to witness how your cunt is sucking in every single inch of his cock with glee. 

He grinds himself inside you, tugging at your hips and pushing against the resistance as if he were trying to stuff more of his cock inside you. Your high-pitched shrill fades out into a pathetic little whimper, your wobbly elbows and knees struggling to keep you up.

It’s all too much and your fucked out mind goes blank. You can’t even process how your body is submitting to its owner and his rough touches, opening itself up to be bred already. You sense what’s coming next. Your back bows, elbows and knees burying into the softness of the bed as you try to ground yourself for Ralak to use you for his own relief. 

He does exactly that— hunching over you and shuffling his knees closer so he can gain more leverage to fuck into your slippery cunt. He puts all his weight on you, his fingernails almost piercing your skin when he begins rutting into you like his life depends on it. 

He sets a merciless pace right off the bat, pounding into you as if he were angry with you. He huffs and puffs from trying to catch his breath but fails because he can’t stop himself from humping at you. His body won’t let him, not until he’s ensured you're full with his seed and will bear his child. 

Hands quickly leaving your hips, he grabs your wrists, binding them together once more and the other grips your kuru and yanks it back. Your neck is exposed and your mouth hangs agape as you’re given no other choice but to take the jackhammering of your life. He’s never fucked you so hard or fast and perhaps it’s the haze of your heat but you just want more of him. 

“F-Fuck. FuckFuckFuckmeFuckme— yes!” You beg deliriously, pushing yourself back onto him. You can feel the way his cock is bulging from your lower stomach, but you couldn’t care less because you just want it even deeper inside you. Fuck, it hurts even but it feels so good that you can’t stop begging for more. “Deeper — oh, yesyesyes!” 

Ralaks groans become drawn out and he’s burying his hot face into the crook of your neck as his pulsing tip bullies its way past your cervix. It’s like white hot pleasure surging through your entire being and it has you so lightheaded you may actually pass out before he’s finished with you. 

His cock heats up inside your cunt, becoming so veiny you could practically feel each vein press against your gummy, slimy walls. He’s now panting open mouthed against your throat, his tongue darting out to lick your skin. He shoves your head down so he can access the back of your neck—a hot spot for your pheromones— and grazes his canines against you. Every fiber of his being is urging him to sink them into your skin and see if you taste as good as you smell. His fangs throb in his mouth at the mere thought, his hot saliva dripping off their length and down your neck. 

You’re so overwhelmed and overstimulated that you can’t form a coherent thought much less process the fact that you’re quickly nearing your climax. It’s as if you’ve surrendered all control over your body to him and he’s dictating what happens next. Your pussy walls tighten around him so much it aches and he outright whimpers. 

“Sst-ah.” He pulls away from your neck and slams his eyes shut, grimacing from the way your cunt is gripping his cock. At this point you’re so on edge that you’re just pinching him, locking him inside you and almost cutting off his blood supply. It’s more than painful for him, and he becomes peeved that you won’t ease up. 

Irritated, he aggressively slams himself into you so that you stop with your pathetic little pinching, but all that does is tip you over the edge. Next thing you know your cunt is helplessly fluttering around his cock and your pussy juices are trickling down your thighs.

“Mmm-fuck I’m cumming!” You moan the words so quickly they jumble together, “Cu-cumming! Cumming!”  

You throbbing around him has his eyes rolling into the back of his head but the more your body convulses underneath him the more he grows frustrated with you. How could such a little thing put on such a big performance? Why won’t you just stay still?

So he thrusts. And thrusts. And thrusts. 

Taming you in the only way his body knows how. Fucking into you without mercy or sympathy. He lets out a hiss, the first he’s ever directed your way, and tightens his grip. “Keep…” He pulls out of you until only the tip is left inside, “...still.” Ralak’s deep voice rumbles next to your ear as he slams every inch cock into your cunt, the mere force of his thrust almost knocking you onto your stomach. You let out a broken whimper, coming down from your high and already feeling the coil in your stomach wind and heat up again. 

“Haa—‘nna…make you swell.” He groans the fragmented sentence like a dying man, grinding so deeply inside you that his swollen balls rub against your puffed up clit. Your bruised cervix feels so good against his cock as he uses it to massage the most sensitive part of his tip. 

Experiencing nothing but absolute rapture, Ralaks head slumps into the crook of your neck, where he’s flooded by your scent. He only grinds harder. And harder, until he’s panting like a viperwolf against your skin.

“Fuck — please…” You beg through a shaky whisper, trying to free your hands from his undying grip, “I j-ust c-came.” 

He’s just so fucking big and deep that he’s touching parts of you that have never touched before, and he’s only getting more aggressive the more you push away his advances. Right now, you’re just a squirming, noisy bitch in heat that needs to be put in her place. To surrender and submit. And the pheromones wafting up his nostrils only drive him further into his bestial urges to claim you as his.

His teeth and gums throb in his mouth once more when the urge to mark you as his becomes indubitable. Much like the urge to keep you still enough to make you into a vessel for his seed. He indulges himself, yanking your head back to expose the bend of your shoulder. He hovers open mouthed over your flawless skin and gives you a kitten lick before ruthlessly marking you. 

Your eyes bulge and pupils constrict into nothing but dots when you feel his lengthy fangs plunge into your flesh. The wail evading your throat is deafening and only gets higher when you feel your shoulder set ablaze. His jaw locks into place and he holds you still as he incessantly claims you as his in more ways than just marking. Your eyes start to water and your body stiffens when you feel it. 

He’s bulging inside you. 

Stretching you out until your shoulder isn’t the only part of you on fire. You lash around, clawing at whatever’s in your way until your nails are dull but the more you move the more it burns. “Y-You’re getting bigger inside me!” You release a high pitched squeal, your elbows and knees finally collapsing under you. Now all his weight is on top of you, pinning you flat to the bed with nowhere for you to go. He begins groaning low and deep, drawing it out until it turns into a depraved growl. It feels as if he’s swelling inside you, as if he were doubling in size. As if he were — oh fuck. 

“You’re — you’re knotting me, lak!” You yell when you come to the realisation. It feels like there’s two of him inside you, stretching you to unfathomable lengths. Despite your continuous attempts to get him to let up, he continues to bulge inside you. “You’re knotting me.” You repeat the words in a weakened, croaky voice of defeat, finally giving in and accepting your fate. 

Riding out his high, his hips stutter out of his control — a familiar sensation now flooding your core. A rush of warmth inside you. It’s his hot seed pumping inside you, his cock thumping with each spurt. He groans and moans until you’re so overloaded with his cum it begins to drip down your thighs and mix with yours. 

He unlatches from your shoulder, lapping at the wound to prevent it from bleeding too badly. He plants a few rough kisses on the double crescent shaped mark and works them up to the lobe of your ear. He’s panting and sweating and he can feel the fog lifting now that he’s had his release. “‘m sorry.” He mumbles between wet kisses, now trailing them back down to the fresh wound to lap at it some more. “‘m sorry.”

“Ralak, I-I” You stutter, overloaded with all these new sensations. It’s burning worse than a hellfire wasp sting but at the same time it’s everything your body hungers for. “Haah.. it-it hurts” You whimper quietly, looking behind you to see the most inebriated eyes you’ve ever seen on this man’s face stare back at you. He releases his pheromones to help your body calm down and feel less pain, ultimately scenting you all together.  

“Mawey.” Ralak huffs, trying his hardest to stay still now that he’s quickly coming to the realisation that he’s knotted and marked you in one go. “Doing… so well, tahnì.” He tries to praise you but truthfully he’s still in and out of it, dazing off when he feels the occasional throb of your walls. 

“Am I? Am I helping you too, lak?” You ask in a surprisingly optimistic tone, proud that you were able to do what you were told was unmanageable. He musters out a nod, grunting as he finishes emptying himself in your womb. 

Feeling some level of sense and rationality, you ask him a question that’s been on your mind. “I’m going to get pregnant, aren’t I?”

“Mm.” He hums, nodding his head as he nuzzles himself into the dip of your shoulder, inhaling your seeping scent. 

“Is that what you w-want?” Your breath hitches as you flinch from his cheek resting on your shoulder.

“Mm.” Another grunt, followed by an unexpected, fervid thrust — his body answering your question on his behalf by ensuring every last drop of his essence is inside your fertile womb. 

You focus on steadying your breathing now that you’ve gotten your answer. 

“Irayo, muntxate [thank you, wife].” He says weakly, finally rolling you both onto your sides for some much needed rest. You chuckle. A weak one, but a chuckle nonetheless, and repeat his own words back to him.

“Do not thank.” You say with a smile, getting yourself as comfortable as you can for the long night ahead. 

—— 

[miguel-ohara-lover]

Can u do one where he gets mad at female reader bc we try and help miles so he fucks reader out of hate Frustration? you dont have to it you dont want to!

I’m so sorry it’s taken to long… Also idk how good this is, it’s been so long since I’ve written this stuff.

CW: 18+, smut

You knew this day was coming. I mean, you had seen what happened to the others, or what the plan was for their fate. You knew standing by while Miles escaped meant directly going against your boss. After hearing the whole story, though, you couldn’t help it. You saw both sides, and made your choice.

Now here you are, standing outside the doors to Miguel’s observation room. He had been calling spiders in for days now, you were surprised so many others had defied him with you. They were all kicked out, had their watches taken away, even a few Miguel wouldn’t want to see leave. But he had to do what he had to do.

Your hand trembled slightly as you reached for the door, Miguel never scared you before, but you weren’t on his bad side before either. He’s always been known for his temper, anything could happen. If you’re lucky he’ll send you to your dimension after some strong words. At least you’re hoping that’s what he’ll do. You didn’t actively stop him from perusing Miles either, you just didn’t help. How much harm could that have caused?

Miguel stood on his platform, looking over the dozens of monitors displayed in front of him. He looked intimidating as ever, and that’s something you wouldn’t have complained about prior to this. You approached slowly, as if advancing towards a dangerous animal. The tension was thick, he could almost feel the hesitancy in your steps. It almost made him laugh, how frightened he could make such brave heros, especially ones that were never scared before.

“You know why I’ve called you in here, yes?” He started, stepping down from the platform. “I don’t need to hear your reasons or excuses. I’ve heard enough of those today.” You let out a sigh, knowing your termination was coming next. He stepped closer, now looming over you, the height difference so much more obvious to you than before.

“I don’t want to bring an end to your position here.” You can feel the frustration building, he wears him anger, never hides it. “I never expected you of all spiders to go against me.” He reaches out, and pulls you in closer. You felt your face warm up as he brings you to his desk. With a swift motion he has you pinned to the desk, his broad chest pressing against your back.

Miguel lets out a sigh. “These past few days have been difficult, and the more faces I see, knowing that they have directly gone against my orders…” His claws dig into the metal. “I need some stress relief.” He growls into your ear.

With those same claws he rips through the fabric of your suit. That is mildly annoying… but a problem for later. It takes a few seconds for it to register that your suit is ripped. As in… you’re now exposed to him. He seems pleased with himself as he makes the crotch of his suit disappear.

Miguel pressed you further into the desk, allowing you to feel his rather large cock. You bit your lip, anticipating what comes next. Slowly, he pushed into you, stretching you slightly and making you take the entire length. You tried hard to contain your noises, letting a few groans slip out here and there. He wanted to hear more.

You felt his hands on your hips now, claws gripping at your skin as he began to slowly move back and forth. You felt yourself coming undone beneath him. It felt oh so good. The slow pace only lasted a few thrusts before he started pounding, fucking his frustrations out. He groaned and growled in your ear as he used you for his own stress relief. You didn’t mind of course, especially after this.

The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping skin, your panting and moans, as well as his low growls. The scene is hot, and the memories will plague your thoughts for weeks to come. Now you really hope he isn’t kicking you out. His thrusts sped up, he slammed into you with so much force it jostled the desk.

Your moans only got louder as he got more fierce, more aggressive. Soon you felt his hips stutter, his grip tightening, you knew he was close. He lets out a low groan as he spills inside you, his claws piercing your skin. You moaned louder as he came around his cock. He continued to thrust, riding out your orgasms together.

Miguel slowed as you both came down from the high, pulling out once you’re both calmed. You pant softly, using the desk to keep yourself up. He noticed the struggle, your wobbly legs struggling to let you stand, and he rolls his eyes. He sits in his chair, pulling you into his lap to aid you despite the attitude. You’re grateful, for however long this softness lasts.

Perhaps he’ll keep you around longer, he can forgive one mistake… even if it’s a large mistake, he can forgive…

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

The State Birds Initiative: Pennsylvania (#2)

Welcome to the second official poll of the State Birds Initiative! Before the poll, though, one thing real quick. My suggestion is that you read the post below before voting in the poll below. That's especially important if you're lacking any context about the birds being presented as the new (or old) State Bird of the Keystone State, Pennsylvania. This is to be fully informed as to why these are being presented, and to make your choices appropriately. Lastly, some of these birds, you will notice, may go against some of the rules listed in the introduction post. All is explained after the jump where the explanations are, I promise you that. But with that...OK! Here's the poll! More choices this time, but that's definitely a bit deceptive. Trust me, read the stuff after the jump, you'll see why.

LET'S GO PHILLY

Kidding on two fronts. One, not a massive sports fan, and not really a fan of any Philadelphia teams (I love Gritty, though. Always and forever.). And two, this is obviously not a post about Philadelphia. So, let's talk about the Quaker State, Pennsylvania! The capital is Harrisburg, while its biggest city is Philadelphia. Pennsylvania is, of course, the first capital of these United States, and arguably the seat of the country. It's the home of Benjamin Franklin (even though it wasn't his birthplace), the Liberty Bell, the Constitution, and Rocky Balboa. And of course, its perfect symbol: Gritty.

God, he's beautiful. The perfect mascot. Who cares about the Flyers; Gritty's who I'm rooting for. Anyway, amazing and unassailable symbols of chaos aside, we're here to talk about Pennsylvania's natural world. So, what are we looking at. Well, it's a mostly deciduous forest-dominated state, so we're looking at seasonal forests and probably seasonal birds...for the most part. At the very least, our ideal bird is a forest resident and breeder in the state. Nothing too unusual or difficult to find.

Birding in Pennsylvania is pretty stereotypical to that of the northeastern United States. There are a few major spots, especially those that graze the Appalachian Mountain Range, which runs through the state. As for conservation concern, habitats of focus are the Appalachian forests that are often deforested for development, especially in the areas near Philadelphia. No real surprise, but that's a good target for conservation focus.

As for Pennsylvania's culture, it's famously descendant of the Quakers, who founded the state under the leadership of William Penn. This isn't to say that Pennsylvanians are Quakers; if you've been to Philadelphia, you know that's not true. According to a few accounts I've seen, that essentially means there's an attitude of helpfulness to your neighbor within the state, as well as a cultivation of the value of hard work. It's also a state that prides its history pretty thoroughly, from Philadelphia's various museums and public historical monuments, to the historical communities that thrive in the state, like the Lancaster Amish. Not sure how either of those will translate themselves into birds, but...hey, we'll see, right?

I also saw somebody refer to PA as heavily into "snack culture". And I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I WILL take the opportunity to say one thing: do not waste money on the cheesesteaks at Pat's or Geno's. It's meant to attract tourists, and they aren't worth it, BELIEVE ME. There are better cheesesteaks in the city, from what I've heard, but those two are...not worth the money. Just trust me on this one.

That said, it's time to look for a proper state bird for Pennsylvania. There's some emphasis there on the "proper", and the first entry in the following section has an explanation by that. With that, let's go for it! State Bird nominations for Pennsylvania below the jump!

Ruffed Grouse (Bonasa umbellus)

OK, let's start with the current bird highlighted by Pennsylvania, the Ruffed Grouse (Bonasa umbellus). Now, I love these guys. If you've never experienced it, walking through the woods and suddenly hearing a deep thrumming echo through the trees is...it's a unique sensation. You wonder where it's coming from, why and how it's so loud, what's making it, and then...it just pops up. Maybe it sees you looking for it, and you flush it out and watch a panicking male run away. Maybe he just looks back at you puffed up and stands his ground a bit (which is unlikely, but still). Either way, these guys never cease to put a smile on my face.

This behavior is called drumming, by the way, as pictured above. A male grouse will position themselves on a hollow fallen tree, and use it as a megaphone to send out these vibrations across swathes of territory. It is, unsurprisingly, a territorial behavior for the grouse, and iconic in its own way. Now, a few more facts about the Ruffed Grouse. The name, by the way, comes from the feathers on the sides of the male's neck, which are erected during courtship and territorial displays. It's obviously colored to camouflage in the fallen leaves of deciduous forests, where it resides throughout the year. They're granivorous members of the Galliformes (grouse, pheasants, quail, etc.), and fairly common in the Eastern United States. But with that said...here's the big problem with this choice for State Bird.

It isn't a State Bird. It's a State Game Bird.

Yeah, remember the Delaware Blue Hen from the last poll (assuming you read it, here it is if you didn't)? I suggested that it should be the State Game Bird of Delaware, rather than the State Bird. Well, right next door to Delaware, Pennsylvania already has a State Game Bird in the form of the Ruffed Grouse. Why, you ask? Well, first off, the Ruffed Grouse is actuall known as the "King of the Gamebirds" colloquially, crowned such by William Harnden Foster, the father of skeet shooting. Yes, actually. But anyway, the bird was declared the State Game Bird in 1931, but there was not real reason why outside of popularity with hunters. So...OK, fair enough. It just means that the Ruffed Grouse is not a State Bird. But should it be?

The question asked here is, should the Ruffed Grouse be promoted to a State Bird, since most Pennsylvanians seem to think of it as such anyway? Well, looking at the guidelines we've previously set and established...I don't know, honestly. And my main reason for doubt, personally, is the fact that the grouse, while found in Pennsylvania, is BARELY a breeder in the state. Only 0.4% of the bird's overall breeding population is in Pennsylvania, and only 13% is in the United States at all. And yes, that means the species is mostly found in...

So, when you think about it, is this truly the answer to the PA State Bird question? Well, it does represent much of the biome of Pennsylvania, a forest-dominated state squarely in the temperate and deciduous zone. It has a history and culture of hunting, and the grouse is certainly one of the most popular species on that front. And they're certainly iconic, and easy to hear in most forests, not to mention fun to look and listen for for beginning birders. The first time I stumbled on a Ruffed Grouse was, lemme tell you, a delight. And the second time, I LITERALLY stumbled on them, because a mother and her chicks were running away from me, and one of the chicks ran between my feet from behind me to join its mother, and I have NEVER BEFORE FELT MORE LIKE A DISNEY PRINCESS UNTIL THAT MOMENT IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL

But, yeah, with that said, I submit the Ruffed Grouse for your deliberation as a State Bird. And as for a State Game Bird...oh, I've got a thought on that one, too. But I'll save that until the end, I think.

Scarlet Tanager (Piranga olivaceus)

So, as before, let's start the replacement options with a bird suggested by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, and a solid-ass pick for a number of reasons. The Scarlet Tanager is one of the most striking birds in the eastern United States, and there's no state with a larger breeding population of these birds than Pennsylvania. 13% of the species' global breeding population is found in PA, making the state a major staging point for the species. Native to and dependent upon the deciduous forests of the state, this is a hidden ornithological icon.

Chestnut-sided Warbler (Setophaga pensylvanica)

Well, if I had the Ring-billed Gull (Larus delawarensis) listed for Delaware, it only makes sense to list the Chestnut-sided Warbler (Setophaga pensylvanica) for Pennsylvania! Similarly, it's the only species that have Pennsylvania as a state in the species name. And trust me, this is a rare luxury, either because most states have no bird species named for them, or a LOT of bird species named for them. Just wait for the Carolinas or California, believe me. But that said, is the Chestnut-sided Warbler a good fit for Pennsylvania?

Well, it certainly breeds in the state; the majority of the global population breeds in Canada, like the Ruffed Grouse, but a good amount still breeds in the deciduous temperate forests of the USA. The PA breeding population represents 3% of the global breeding population, and as compared to Michigan's 7%, Pennsylvania still doesn't have the majority. But again, let's put that statistic to the wayside. Is there anything else about the Chestnut-sided Warbler that represents Pennsylvania in a meaningful way? Well...no. Not, not really. There is a story of John James Audubon (yes, that Audubon, the racist one), and his first AND ONLY sighting of the Chestnut-sided Warbler, which took place in eastern Pennsylvania, alongside his hunt for the species throughout his life. So, hey, there's a tie. But other than that, this is another opportunity to choose an handsome looking bird that serves as a unique bird to look for for Pennsylvanians, any of whom can say, "Hey, I've seen that bird! Cool!"

...Wait, I just realized something about this category of choice. Pennsylvania has more species name reputation than I thought...indirectly. Hmm. Let's combine their entries.

Philadelphia Vireo (Vireo philadelphicus) Bonaparte's Gull (Chroicocephalus philadelphia) Mourning Warbler (Geothlypis philadelphia)

There are, in total, three species that are named after the great city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. And this is both the only one with the city name in its common name...and also the worst choice of the three. At least the Bonaparte's Gull (Chroicocephalus philadelphia) and the Mourning Warbler (Geothlypis philadelphia) breed in the state. And for the record, those are up for debate for this spot if anybody world prefer those go in there. But if those are better options (barely; both birds also barely breed in Pennsylvania), then why choose the Philadelphia Vireo?

Is it iconic? To birdwatchers, maybe, but mostly because it's a pretty difficult bird to get when you're starting out. I've seen them, but it's not easy to find them. And to the layman? It's a little green bird that lives in green trees. Oof. Hard sell for a state bird. At least Bonaparte's Gull (above) is visible on bodies of water, and a fairly common bird alongside being an unusual-looking gull for most people. Plus, hey, they're kinda handsome and cute in my opinion. What about the Mourning Warbler (below)? While also somewhat difficult to find by virtue of being a little green bird, has a notable and memorable appearance. But you could also argue that it belongs rightly to other states instead.

But the Philadelphia Vireo? Yeah, it's the worst candidate of the three, but...it's also the only warbler who once carried the name Brotherly-Love Vireo. Yeah. As in Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love? That is a good reason. However, you could argue that, given the fact that the work "philadelphia" is literally Greek for "brotherly love"...it's still a flimsy argument. But hey, I'd be remiss if I didn't include these guys on this list for State Bird, even if I...doubt they're gonna get any votes.

Pileated Woodpecker (Dryocopus pileatus)

For one of two conservation-related entries of this post, let's take a look at the Pileated Woodpecker (Dryocopus pileatus). Now, to get this out of the way, the Pileated Woodpecker is all over the Eastern USA. These big, crow-sized woodpeckers (and these guys are HUGE when you see them for the first time; love 'em) are a common sight in deciduous and coniferous forests (the predominant habitat in PA), and are most certainly breeders in Pennsylvania. They're iconic enough, fun to find, and can be detected through signs they leave in trees. Namely, of course, I'm referring to the nest hollows they make in trees for their offspring, as well as holes made to search for insects. But, OK, same question as always, why suggest it for the PA State Bird?

The pileated woodpecker, as the big bird it is, is an ecosystem modeler. What this means is, those holes they carve in trees are used by other species, including owls, squirrels, weasels, ducks, and various others that live in the same areas. Pennsylvania's wildlife isn't above using Pileated Woodpecker holes for their own uses, making the birds extremely important for other species. Ecosystem architects are not uncommon in nature. Most of your probably think of the American Beaver (Castor canadensis) or the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis) when that topic comes up, but there are many others. In ecology, there's a term for species that modify their environments in ways that become significant for the survival of other species. Because other species rely on them, they're referred to as keystone species.

Get it?

Pennsylvania is also known as the Keystone State. And, like beavers and alligators before them, woodpeckers are also keystone species. This isn't a commonly talked about aspect of woodpeckers, but the Pileated Woodpecker in particular is getting some recent attention as a keystone species. So, why not highlight this recently proposed classification and give the Keystone State a Keystone Species for its State Bird? It serves as a lesson in ecology for everyone, school kids or the uninformed, and it's a great way to make the State Bird about Pennsylvania's ecosystems. Conservation-focused, and an iconic species to boot!

Do I think the Pileated Woodpecker is the best species for Pennsylvania on it's own merits? I don't know, honestly. Like I said before, it's a fun-to-find iconic bird, it breeds in the state, and there's not real reason it shouldn't be the state bird. But I really like the idea of giving the Keystone State a keystone species, and not a lot of North American birds act in that role. If anybody has a better suggestion, I am all ears, but I think this one works pretty well. Plus, hey, there's only one woodpecker amongst the State Birds, which is a shame! Who doesn't love woodpeckers?

American Goshawk (Accipiter atricapillus)

For the other conservation entry of this list, we once again turn to a raptor, and a damned cool one at that. Previously referred to as the northern goshawk, the American Goshawk (Accipiter gentilis) is a silent and efficient predator. One of the most skilled forest flyers amongst the accipiter hawks, these birds specialize in rodents and birds that live in the trees, and are amazing at weaving through the understory to catch their prey. I adore goshawks, and they're honestly a bit terrifying. I used to work at a raptor rehabilitation facility which bred these guys in central New York, and they're beautiful and terrifying. Also, I've held one in a towel burrito, and that was a highlight of my life.

Now, with that said, the goshawk is barely found in Pennsylvania in recent years, although it used to be quite common. The Fish and Game Department, alongside Audubon, have this as a species of major concern and focus in Pennsylvania, despite (for because of) a very small breeding population. But there's a sad reason for this, making this a VERY good candidate for State Bird. See, in the 1900s, goshawks were considered pests, due to their love of chicken and wild game birds. Therefore, they were regularly shot, and Pennsylvania in particular offered rewards for their bodies.

By 1931, goshawk populations in Pennsylvania plummeted. This was also when the early 20th century environmentalist movements started, and this issue in particular was noticed by environmentalist and suffragette Rosalie Edge. To save hawk populations in Pennsylvania, she purchased a piece of land to bar the hawk-hunters on the property. This was called Hawk Mountain, and was founded in 1934 as the world's first raptor preserve. Yeah. Not only was it the first of these, but one of the first (if not THE first) created by a woman. Let's fucking go. Rosalie was a known bad-ass in conservation, and regularly did shit like this for what she believed in. An unsung hero of conservation and ornithology.

The hawk hunts ended alongside the Pennsylvania Game Commission in the 1950s, and raptor conservation continued on as a major movement in the state of Pennsylvania. Hawk Mountain in particular became a massive centerpoint of this, and today, it's maybe the most famous place in the United States to watch the annual fall and spring migrations of raptors. The raptor counts at Hawk Mountain Sanctuary are an annual bonanza, attracting birders from near and far. Haven't made it there yet myself, but it's on my list of must-bird locations. I implore you to learn more about this wonderful place. Check out their YouTube channel if you want to know more from their perspective! And it's all based on the impressive conservation story of the American Goshawk. I think that makes it a pretty goddamn good candidate for State Bird. Brings attention to conservation history, and on a major natural phenomenon that can be seen every year in Pennsylvania. Pretty goddamn cool.

The hell is even left after that? Well...

Wild Turkey (Melagris gallopavo)

OK, hear me out here. Of ALL the birds in the USA, if there is any state should have more federal recognition, it's the Wild Turkey (Meleagris gallopavo). It's the only bird that essentially has a holiday dedicated to it (OK, dedicated to killing and eating it, but you get what I mean). It's also, notoriously, the alleged runner-up for national bird, having lost to the Bald Eagle (Halieetus leucocephalus). To be fair, here, that's a potential urban myth, but an important one regardless, especially to Pennsylvania.

Other than this, though, everybody knows what a Turkey looks like. It's arguably one of the top 5 iconic wild birds of the USA, and is very common throughout the country. It is, in fact, found in every one of the Lower 48, and in Hawaii (introduced there). Not Alaska, though. Which is good, because frozen turkey is dangerous. Ha ha ha. But is that an argument for Pennsylvanis to have it as the State Bird, or even as the State Game Bird? Because that's also an option, for the record. I argue, though, that Alabama, Massachusetts, Oklahoma, and South Carolina already have it as a State Game Bird, which especially makes sense for Alabama, which is prime turkey-hunting ground. As is, for that matter, Pennsylvania. Turkey season here is longer than in most places, and according to HuntStand, it's basically a culture there in and of itself. So, yeah, appropriate on that front alone. But that said...Pennsylvania should own the turkey for one more important reason.

I mean...Benjamin Franklin. Come on. You gotta give it to Pennsylvania's favorite son. I've been to the Franklin Institute, I KNOW how beloved he is in PA. And Benjamin Franklin, famously, loved two things: wild sex parties with older women, and the Wild Turkey. AND I QUOTE:

For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly. ...For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America… He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.”

Now, contrary to popular belief, this is not Franklin saying the Wild Turkey should be the national bird. This is, instead, Frankling saying that he fucking hates the Bald Eagle, whom he sees as a lazy, thieving, selfish, disrespectful, manipulative asshole. So, yeah, in retrospect, not an inappropriate symbol for some parts of the country. But regardless, he's right about turkeys: they do not give a shit about your boundaries if you're on their land. Trust me, I live in an area of New England where there are some BIG fuckin' turkeys, and they WILL CHASE YOU if you mess with them. I SEEN IT

With that, though, I think we've covered the major candidates for the State Bird of Pennsylvania. Any I've missed or forgotten? Any suggestions you may have? I'm all ears! Make sure to vote, and come back for state #3: New Jersey. Which...I think a lot of us have thoughts on. Although, hey...I don't hate the State Bird. Well, as a bird, anyway; I'm indifferent to it as NJ's bird. More context next time, I promise.

See you soon, and happy birding!

[adhd-languages]

Keeping up your Languages when you’re Busy

Confession: I’ve been slacking on Japanese recently because my life has been so hectic recently. So here are some of the ways I’ve been trying to keep it in my brain when I can’t dedicate a lot of time to studying.

CHANGE YOUR PHONE LANGUAGE

This applies to computers as well! This is the easiest way to ensure you see at least some of your target language every day. It’s good for any level, even beginners.

If you haven’t already done this, do it now. I understand that some things are important and you need to be sure you understand them — in that case, you can always change individual apps to have different languages, just look up the app name in settings.

Podcasts/Music

Find some podcasts in your target language and listen to them before bed, during your commute, whatever. There are lots of podcasts made specifically for learners, or you can look up topics in your target language to find a podcast you might enjoy.

Music is also an amazing way to hear your target language being used. If you find an artist you like, that’s another good way to study your TL! Follow them on socials, look up interviews with them, etc.

Talk to Yourself

Any spare minute you have, talk to yourself in your target language. It doesn’t need to be out loud. You can have a conversation with yourself, try to express how you’re feeling, make up stories, or just describe the things around you in your target language. This is also a good way to see what kind of vocabulary you’re missing.

Apps

Duolingo has fired a ton of translators and started using crappy AI translations — so they’re probably not the best choice.

I’d recommend dictionary app that has some sort of flash card feature is also good, or an anki deck. Drops is good, and has a lot of languages, but keep in mind you’ll need audio. Anything that’s easy to get out and do for even just a few minutes is perfect.

Apps won’t teach you a language on their own, but doing a little every day helps remind me the language exists and keeps it in my mind.

Texting/Writing/Posting

Whether your friends know your TL or not, force them to experience it by randomly messaging in Japanese! Or, if you feel fancy, download an app like “HelloTalk”, “Tandem”, “Speaky”, “Tabee”…there are a lot.

If you keep a digital journal (like I do…inconsistently), try to write some entries in your TL.

If you have a blog, which I assume you do, post in your TL. Even if you’re a beginner, you can make a sideblog dedicated to saying stuff like “I’m hungry” and “Green is my favourite colour” in your target language.

Open your notes app and just write random words you can remember or sentences you can string together.

I know it’s really difficult, and don’t beat yourself up because you aren’t studying as hard. A language can be a lifelong companion — you’ll have phases of studying constantly, and sometimes it’ll take the back seat, but there’s no rush to learn it. Have a great day :)!

[repulsive-manwhore]

THE 10 BEST VIOLENT JAMES DEEN PORN SCENES (in my opinion)

when it comes to male porn actors, there's none i look up to or attempt to mimic more in the bedroom than James Deen. he is simply porn's "golden boy." the way he talks, acts, carries himself, and (of course) fucks in every rough scene he stars in is what i aspire to be. picking only 10 of his craziest documented sexual endeavors was difficult, but i think i've got a good list here. so without further ado, here it is, the 10 best JD scenes, in my humble opinion. go on, google is free, have some fun while you read. ❤️

Whore Wife (Cherry Torn, Kink™) - classic gangbang scene which is conveniently also where my header image is from.

Extreme Anal Queen (Adriana Chechik, ANALIZED.COM™) - rough bathroom anal scene. doggy over the sink is my favorite part. there's also a toilet involved. nasty stuff.

Pornoromance (Lia Lor, James Deen Productions™) - this scene has it all. any scene fully produced/released by the man himself is a good choice, this one is a cut above though.

Pornstar Punishment (Ashli Orion, Brazzers™) - schoolgirl scene. you'll notice there's a "fuckpig" element in most or all of these but this one especially, so much at times that some versions cut out some of the facial play/humiliation. i guess Brazzers wasn't rocking with it lol. if you can find one with the full footage, save that shit for real, cuz i ain't giving you it lmao.

Ravished By The Wrong Man (Lia Lor, Kink™) - second entry in this list with Lia Lor, this time with bondage. if that's your thing, then just like the last one, this too has it all. ropes, ball gags, i think a taser gets pulled out at some point? yeah.

BANG! Casting (Yhivi, BANG!™) - god, where do i even begin? the best chemistry on this list. Yhivi is absolutely adorable and she's having the time of her life in this scene getting used like a ragdoll. just violence, a couch and smiles. my personal fav.

Casey Calvert: Show Me Rough (ANALIZED.COM) - shifting over to the reality aspect now, from staged scenes and radical angles to camcorder vlogs and single recording positions. still hot as fuck. starts out with a great convo, then goes 0 to 100 seemingly almost out of nowhere.

James Deen's 7 Sins: WRATH (Carmen Caliente, Carmen Callaway, Dani Daniels, Delilah Davis, Janice Griffith, Jessica Ryan, Sadie Santana, Shay Ryan, Trinity St. Clair, Vyxen Steel) - i mean, i think the title and the cast list explains enough.

The Slutmother (Kelly Divine, Brazzers™) - another classic scene from the days of old. Deen really laid the hammer down with the face slapping in this one, which is funny bc it's a Godfather parody. don't know why he went so hard for something so comedic, but i love it.

BANG! Casting (Abella Danger, BANG!™) - struggled with this last slot but had to throw in another casting couch banger. this one is a doozy. i like the Yhivi one more because she's much more submissive/less aggressive than Abella is here but i mean jesus, this bitch gets trashed and thrashed in this one. there's a part where he chucks her into the wall and i laughed the first time i watched it. nasty, just nasty.

HOPE Y'ALL GET A KICK OUT OF THIS ONE YOU SICK FUCKS. ENJOY.

[boredzillenial]

Coworkers

You and your new coworker find yourself in an awkward position. (Continuation of “Is That My Shirt?”)

Themes: college AU, Moon boys are in separate bodies, f!reader, ridiculous amounts of awkwardness in the library, momentary NSFW, kissing

Wordcount: 2.1k

That was rough. You’d managed to slip past Marc’s confused stance while Jake was chasing Steven down the hall. For the last week you’d been ignoring Jake’s persistent texts teasing you about Steven along with his repeated Venmo requests for the coffee. You were sure sooner or later they’d corner you in one of the many buildings on campus. For now you hid in the one place neither Jake or Marc would go, the library.

Deep in the bowels of the staff area you sorted through a pile of returned book carts, getting everything together as orderly as you can when the familiar tone of your supervisor cuts the silence.

“Hey hey, figured you could use some help.” Her tone betrays that she is about pawn some sort of responsibility onto rather than help.

You didn’t bother looking up when you reply “Oh, hey Donna.”

“This is Stevie, I need you to show him the ropes. Thankssss.” Her voice fades as you hear her footsteps disappear. This can’t be happening this can’t possibly be-

A familiar soft voice interrupts your internal panic, “Hello, sorry I didn’t realize you work here…” You look up slowly, taking in his oversized sweater and slacks. His curls are a bit disheveled and he’s got some dark circles under his eyes.

“Hi Steven,” you try to tilt your voice up a bit, it wasn’t his fault Jake was giving you such a hard time. Judging by how tired he looks he’s probably getting the same treatment.

His eyebrows furrow a bit, worry flashing across his features as he wrung his hands. “I don’t wanna make your work difficult. If you’d like me to leave I can.” He takes a breath and stuffs his hands in his pockets, looking awkwardly at the stacks of books, “No where else on campus is hiring currently but, I can find something.” He shrugs.

You take a deep breath of your own as you watch him, pity pushing you to a choice that definitely wasn’t in your best interest. “No, don’t do that I - I think we can make this work. We can at least try right? I mean nothing really happened.”

He can’t hide the bit of excitement that flashes across his face at your decision. “Yeah? Thank you. You won’t regret this I promise.” His growing smile pulls a twitch at the corner of your own lips before you can tamp it down. You didn’t exactly like how much you were enjoying his enjoyment.

“Come on, grab a cart we gotta return these to the shelves.” You point to a cart and wheel your way out of the backroom and into the main entryway. “I like to go floor by floor. All of these are first floor. I want you to take your time, pay super close attention to the numbers on the spine so you put them in the right spot.”

He nods, his expression a little too serious as he listens to your instructions. “I won’t let you down.” He sounds as if you’re sending him off on a war mission. You chuckle a little at how concentrated he looks as he starts at the first book on the cart and wheels around to find its proper place. You make your way over to the elevator, off to put away the cart full of books for the second floor.

One Week Passes

Steven’s first week at the library is uneventful. He made a few mistakes here and there but he’s really getting to know his way around the first floor. Full of mostly fiction, children’s books, and DVDs the occasional student rents.

Though Steven had been hard at work at his tasks for this past week you couldn’t help but watch him. I mean you were supposed to keep an eye on him. But your gaze lingered in a way that disquieted you. That cuddle session hadn’t meant anything, it couldn’t. You kept your distance as you watched.

But now Donna has decided he should take on more responsibility, and help you on the higher floors. Full of medical journals, textbooks, and stressed students. Anxiety began to fill your gut.

“That one.” You point at a cart and make your way a little too quickly to the elevator. Trying to steady your erratic heart you take a deep breath. You can hear Steven’s light trot behind you and the squeaky wheels of his own cart as he catches up.

“You alright?” He asks gently as he stands beside you. Close beside you, why was he nearly touching your shoulder with his own Jesus Christ.

“Yeah fine, why.” You force a light tone which, judging by his face he catches immediately. The elevator dings and you both make your way into the cramped space.

“It’s just, you’ve been a bit short today. Didn’t know if anything was wrong or if - if I was doing somethin’ wrong?” He looks at you with a mixture of a plea and cringe at what you might say.

“You’ve been doing fine, great actually.” You say softly as you hit the button for the third floor. The doors close infront of you, the shiny metal reflecting you both. You meet Steven’s gaze in the reflection, you heart thundering so hard you began to wonder if he could hear it, “That’s why Donna wants you to help up here.”

His gaze shifts in the mirrored door, settling on you directly. “Do - do you want me to help up here?” You meet his gaze, brows tilting up at his sincerity.

“I -“ your sentence cuts short when the doors open, you quickly scoot out of the cramped space and disappear into the stacks.

You think you’ve momentarily freed yourself from the awkwardness of the elevator till you hear Steven clear his throat behind you. “I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable-“ you whip around and he throws his hands up in surrender “I’d just like to know if I should make myself scarce yeah?” He whispers.

You take another steadying breath, “You’re fine Steven, I’m just having a tough day. Let’s knock this floor out, we’ve got more carts waiting downstairs.” You whisper back to him.

He nods once and takes a look at his cart, picking a textbook off and sorting it carefully on the shelf. As you both begin your work in that aisle you hear a soft, rhythmic creaking. Confusion furrows Steven’s brow as you feel like your heart is about to jump out of your throat.

“What’s that?” He whispers and looks toward the direction of the noise.

You sigh and pinch your brow to gather your nerves, “Just, brace yourself.” You both silently shift through the stacks toward the noise. Please don’t be what you think it is for the love of everything please.

You make your way to a small seating area in the very back. When you look across the sets of conjoined carrel desks you don’t see anyone at first. But what you hear struck a nerve in your core. A muffled whimper and the wet, soft, steady sound of skin hitting skin.

An unintelligible look crosses Steven’s face as he blushes. Normally, you’d just drop a heavy textbook to send horny students scattering in different directions. But what you saw shocks you, Steven was creeping toward the sound.

Dumbfounded you follow behind him. Curious as to what the fuck he thought he was gonna do. Steven froze just as he must’ve caught a glimpse and when you round the corner you see exactly why.

There was Jake, rutting into a girl bent over the desk, one hand clasped over her mouth. His other hand gripping her exposed breast, twisting her nipple in tandem with his thrusts.

“Jake!” You gasp, the girl beneath him jolts and looks at you with wide eyes. Jake however, only slows his thrusts momentarily. Keeping her pinned in place as he looks at you.

“Give me five minutes and I won’t give either of you any more shit.” His mixture of a growl and a whisper send lighting through your nerves. It must’ve done the same to her as she whimpers beneath his hand.

You shake your head, grabbing Steven’s arm and dragging him quickly back into the stacks.

“I can’t believe - does that happen a lot?” Steven stammers, that ruddy hue across his cheeks spreads to his ears. His eyes are a bit wide and his breathing shallow.

“From time to time, usually very late at night and never Jake. I didn’t even know he knew there was a library on campus.” You try to joke, to somehow break this awkward heated tension thrust onto both of you. Was Steven as turned on from what you both witnessed as you are? A quick glance down confirms your question.

Steven returns your awkward laugh with his own as he follows you back to your carts. You hoping to whatever god will listen that your underwear will hold all the slickness pooling in them. At one point you could’ve sworn you saw Steven turn away from you to adjust himself, his bulge a little less noticeable once he turned back.

You both work in silence for the rest of your shift, but there’s something different in the air surrounding you two. Steven keeps brushing against you. Whether it be back to back as he moves past you, or the back of his hand grazing yours as he stands beside you. You shake your head to try to clear it. He was probably just distracted from earlier.

You catch his eye for a moment, a flush returns across his cheeks as he quickly looks away. “You alright?” You ask softly.

“Yeah, it’s not the first time I’ve walked in on Jake with a girl.” He tries to shrug but the movement comes off awkward. “It’s just -“ he starts to say but quickly stops himself.

“Hey, we don’t have to talk about it.” You put a gentle hand on his arm, squeezing the soft fabric of his sweater and feeling his toned muscles beneath.

“It’s embarrassing really but, Jake won’t come off it. I kinda feel like he’s doin’ it on purpose sometimes. Like some sort of weird motivation to get me to-“ he stops himself again, the blush spreading to his ears again “get me to lose my…”

“Oh, you’re a…” you aren’t quite sure how to finish that sentence. Virginity was nothing to be embarrassed about but with Jake’s behavior you’re sure Steven must get an earful.

“Yeah, I just haven’t found the right person yet. Most people are such knobs I just-“ his voice trails off as he rubs the back of his neck. His mixed look of frustration and hesitancy stirs something in you. “I’m not looking for some big romantic thing at this point. I wanna get it over with, just to say I’ve done it.” He rubs his hands across his face.

“I could -“ the words jump out before you can stop yourself.

Embarrassment roils in your stomach, did you seriously just offer to-

“You’d do that f’me?” He says softly, his eyes matching his tone with an edge of something else. Something a bit hungrier. “I don’t wanna make things awkward for you, with Marc and Jake I mean.”

“Oh I think Jake and I are pretty even now. In fact.” You pull out your phone. Deny his latest insistent Venmo request and make one of your own:

$20 : you know why.

You look up to Steven just inches infront of you. His deep brown gaze locked on your lips, his breathing uneven. “Can I?”

“Ye-“ before you even finish his lips are crashing into yours, his hands gripping your face in an almost too firm grip. The sheer intensity, the hunger of his kiss draws a moan from you.

You feel him shiver, returning your moan with one of his own as he pushes you against the bookshelf behind you. The force of it knocking a few textbooks loose and landing with loud thuds. You jolt for a moment, “Steven hang on-“

“I can’t,” he kisses you again, snaking a hand behind your head to hold you against his lips. You feel his tongue glide against your lips, causing you to groan. Gods you can’t believe what’s happening right now as you put your hands firmly on his chest and break the kiss.

“You have to.” You whisper firmly. His pupils are blown wide and his chest is heaving as he just manages a nod.

“Oh-okay.” He brushes loose curls out of his face as he takes a shaky breath. “When can we, y’know.”

You catch your own breath as you contemplate for a moment, “I’ll text my roomie to sleep somewhere else tonight. She owes me a favor.”

————

MoonKnight Bingo Masterlist

Taglist: @moonknight-events @melodygatesauthor @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ominoose @romana-after-dark @lunar-ghoulie @flowercrownonapegion @howellatme @mooksmouse @ahookedheroespureheart @beezusvreeland @auntiegigi @moonkxit @faretheeoscar

[kooahae]

After Last Night: The First Date

So...I got encouraged about starting the ALN drabble series since I kind of hinted at it, and received feedback to do so...you voted and the first date wins!

Summary: It’s official! Jungkook wants to have the perfect first date. 

Pairing: best friends to lovers, Jungkook X female reader 

Warnings: None really, maybe a few curse words, light choking during a kiss, This is really fluffy and cute. Jungkook is a simp and we love that for OC! Pet names, kissing, just super cute!

Word count:3K -got carried away bc I love them :)

Read part 1 here if you haven't already <3

Read the next drabble here

It’s been about two weeks since he asked if he could be your boyfriend. He has been busy with work and everything, but he’s still made time for you. He just knows you deserve more than cuddles and sex -not that he hates either of these by any means. Jungkook has been on his A-game the whole time. He's made sure to plan the most perfect date. You haven’t pressured him about one, but he still feels he should treat you like a princess.

He had Jimin call up Yoongi- who is really hard to get ahold of. Partially because he’s revealed he plans on expanding on the restaurant he owns with Jungkook’s older brother. Luckily today, Yoongi had a bit of free time. He even tried Taehyung, but he was busy helping Namjoon set up a new space. Namjoon left the company due to Seojun’s promotion. Hobi was out of town working on some fashion pieces for his upcoming collection. Your brother was way too obvious, and If he had tried his older brother Jin- you really would have known. So yup, that leaves Yoongi. 

Jungkook’s currently in the flower shop getting a custom bouquet of both of your birth flowers. He was still stuck on what color paper to get them wrapped in.  He swears he didn’t know it would be this difficult. He just wants you to be impressed, he wants you to feel like you made a good choice trusting him with your heart. So today has to be perfect!

“Hi, do you need help?” An elderly woman approaches him at the perfect time. Paying attention to her clothes, Jungkook can tell she works here. 

“Uhh…Yeah what color paper should someone get, does stuff like that matter?” He asks her as he looks at all the different ones in front of him 

Jungkook has bought flowers before, but he never went to an actual florist for them to make his own bouquet combo. He would just buy someone the ones in a grocery store most of the time. 

The older woman chuckles “You’re asking about paper? She must be special, I’d get a neutral-colored paper so it doesn’t take away from the flowers. Plus, you’re gonna put them in a vase. Don’t think too much.”

He nods. She’s right, this is her field of knowledge anyway. 

He’s still not satisfied though. 

“Mmm, can I double the amount of flowers? This doesn’t seem like enough.”  he rubs his palms against his jeans, his bottom lip poking out at the bouquet in front of him. He’s down bad, and there simply aren’t enough flowers to give someone as pretty as you. 

“A big bouquet? she’s definitely special! Sure thing. I’m gonna take a guess and say you’re the tiger lily in the situation?” She questions him gathering more flowers. 

He runs his hands through his hair and looks down at his shoes. Damn, he really is obvious. It’s not his fault, he just loves you that much. “How did you know?” He questions. 

“You have smitten lover boy written all over you. You’re worried about paper. I’ve never seen someone so stuck on that. Most men just let me wrap them in whatever, or choose black.” She continues. “Would you like to add a message?”

He nods and takes the pen and card from her. Writing a simple and sweet message. He pays, thanks her for the help, and makes his way

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His next stop is setting up the rooftop of your favorite childhood hideout.  He even asked Jimin and his mom for baby pictures of you both to put into a snow globe. He’s been coming here thirty minutes before work every day to make sure the floor was swept, the area was free of any trash or things that could make you fall. You guys haven’t been here in a while. 

He decides to check in with his older brother Jin, to see if he thinks what he’s planned is a good idea.

“Hello?”- thankfully he answered his call. 

“Hey hyung, are you busy? Do you have a moment?” Jungkook is desperate for a second opinion. 

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I’m really nervous. I know you’re probably tired of me calling you about my girlfriend, but can I tell you what I’ve planned? Can you tell me if I’m being a little paranoid about her not liking it ?” He says while glancing over his work, phone pressed to his ear, scuffing his feet as he walks to have a seat. 

“Sure Kook, go ahead. I’m listening. Also not tired of hearing about your girlfriend, yet. At least this is one I actually love, and approve of.” Jin really does love you, you’re like his little sister in a sense. Always at the house to spend time with his baby brother as a kid. He’s fond of you for sure. 

“A rooftop dinner, at our childhood hideout”

There’s nothing but silence. 

“Uhh…Hyung…why haven’t you said anything? Is It childish?” Jungkook is really nervous. What is taking Jin so long to answer?

“I’m here. You had more than one so I had to think. The one on the roof? That’s cute man! “ Jin’s impressed. That’s a good sign. 

“Yes, that one! I made a bunch of her favorite foods, set up a projector for movie night, and got a flower bouquet It’s a mix of our birth flowers, and bean bags for the movie, I also got her a gift but like is that too much?” He’s really questioning it all. Normally Jungkook wouldn’t be so unsure. You’re just his everything. You fill him with a great sense of joy. Getting this right is crucial. 

“She’s going to love it.” His brother states on the other end of the phone calming your boyfriend down. 

“You’ve known her your whole life, don’t be so scared Kook. You know her better than anyone else and luckily she feels the same way. Be yourself, that’s who she fell for.” Jin tells him. 

“You’re right hyung! Thank you for always listening to me. I know I’m a lot.” Jungkook makes sure he expresses his gratitude. He’s thankful for Jin. Truly means it. 

“Yes, you are a lot. Now make her the happiest girl on earth.”

“Will do!” Jungkook states before hanging up. He takes one last look around. Everything is finally in place. So he gets up and then heads home to change.  

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Once he gets home he takes his phone out to text you. He forgot to check in with you while he was on the rooftop. 

-Hey baby, how’s your day going? 

Naekkeo🤍🪽: I miss you and I’m hungry!

Yoongi won’t feed me! He’s being weird, can we order dinner?

Jungkook smiles as he reads your message. Yoongi must be getting asked a million questions about food right now. He can already see your frown forming about the lack of nutrients in your body. In your defense, Yoongi does own a restaurant with Jungkook’s older brother Jin. Being food-deprived by him is weird. He decides to play it cool when he responds, but he’s also honest. 

- I can’t wait to hear about your day in person. As far as dinner, of course. See you when you get here!

Jungkook hurries and changes into something comfortable. He knows sweatpants and a hoodie seem crazy for a rooftop dinner and movie. It’s one of his more expensive ones though and he also knows you’re gonna want to cuddle while watching a movie, and that rooftops get a little chilly. He should be himself like Jin said. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

 He finally hears the door open and smiles at the sound of you walking in. He knows you’re doing your usual entrance routine with Bam. Teaching Bam to give you high fives was the coolest thing when he was a puppy. It’s cute that you still make sure he’s included when you walk in. It’s really nice to have you back home too.  

You finally walk into the room and see your boyfriend smiling at you as he sits on the bed, you climb onto his lap and kiss him. 

“Missed you so so much!” you’ve been waiting all day to see him. The excitement in your voice is evident. 

“I missed you too baby.” He says and then he watches you sit your head back up, noticing your brows are now furrowed in. 

“Wait, why are you dressed and not in home clothing? What’s the reason for this shirt blocking my view?” You ask him, tilting your head. You try and lift his shirt but he swats your hand away, cracking up in the process. 

“You can see me shirtless later! You’re about to change into something too. My hoodie is over there. You can keep your jeans on, but I recommend wearing sneakers.”

You tilt your head some more and Jungkook kisses the middle of your forehead.

“Always worrying. I’m taking you to dinner. Go change.” He pats you lightly on the butt.

You smile and get up. Dinner out of the house sounds like fun. You wouldn’t care if it was fast food. You genuinely love spending time with him. Always have. 

You throw on his hoodie and your sneakers since he recommended it. He holds his hand out for you to take, and you both head to his car. Once you’re both inside Jungkook starts searching for something. 

“Ah almost forgot. Blindfold time.” He says flashing a smile, his nose scrunching a little. 

“If you’re trying to kill me for taking so long to be your girlfriend, Jimin will find you.” You joke and he laughs. 

“No one is dying here. If you’re gone, then I can’t be your boyfriend. That would suck.”  He assures you but then continues. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t take you on a proper date, hmm?” 

That makes you smile, per usual. You really weren’t expecting a date today. You would have prepared more, but you trust him. He would tell you if you looked crazy leaving the house for sure. Plus, you’re kind of already done up from hanging out with Yoongi.

“Anything you do is great. You would be a mediocre boyfriend though.” You say while pointing at him agreeing. You’re so cute. 

“And I don’t want that. I want to be the world’s best boyfriend. Come here.” He responds

You let him slide the blindfold over you, stealing a kiss before he can adjust the tightness to make sure you can’t peak. 

“You barely hesitated to let me put that on you. You probably like that, don’t you?”He’s laughing. Something you’ll never get tired of hearing. You pick up on his little comment though. 

You reach to feel for his arm since you can’t see, and once you do find it, you slap him playfully. 

“You’re always being kinky!” You say and he laughs some more. 

“You literally tried to strip me of my clothes a few minutes ago on the bed.” Fair point.

“I just wanted a peak!” You can’t even see him but it’s making your heart flutter. Putting one hand on your thigh as he puts the car in gear.

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“Okay, I’m gonna open your door, and crouch down to get on my back, okay baby?”

“You keep calling me baby, only future husbands can do that .” You say as you follow his instructions crouching down. 

“That’s not a problem for me at all. Been waiting my whole life for a chance. We can get married.” He is serious, whether you believe him or not. He doesn’t mean now of course but eventually, he’d love it. 

If Jungkook knows how to do anything- he knows how to make your cheeks red and have you smile like an idiot. You wish you could see his face right now. He probably has a smile as big as yours on his own. 

Once you’re on his back he starts walking and you recognize the movement of him going up some steps. You smile to yourself. He really could have told you to walk but he’s carrying you up flights of stairs, on his back. How can he be so manly but so cute all the time?

“Okay, we are here. I’m gonna sit you down now.” He crouches down and lets you off. You’re safely in the middle. 

“I wanna see!” You say. The amount of enthusiasm you have makes Jungkook’s heart skip. Seriously, Why are you so cute? He’ll have to remember to thank your mom another time for making you. 

He hurries and walks to the table he set up to get the flower bouquet and then he walks to you. Undoing your blindfold and smiling. 

“It’s officially our first date, I wanted to surprise you.” He sing-songs looking at you with the biggest smile on his face. Stretching his arms out to hand you a bouquet. It’s beautiful, just like him. The message with them makes you feel warm inside. 

’Thank you for choosing me, 

I am so happy that it’s finally us!  

HAPPY FIRST DATE TO  MY GIRLFRIEND  (never gonna get tired of calling you that)

- Koo &lt;3 ’ 

As you look around, you feel your eyes get teary and then you smile and look at him. 

“Jungkook! This is so nice!!” You say and reach for his face, kissing him softly on the lips. 

“ I just want you to know I feel really lucky to be your boyfriend.” He holds you close to his chest

“Kook, you really did all this for me?” You say peeking up at him. Jungkook looks down at you. Your pretty eyes glancing back at his. You’re always going to be his type. 

He smiles and nods his head proudly. “Well yeah… because I love you.” He says matter of factly. 

You return his smile. “I love you. I feel really lucky to be your girlfriend.”

“It’s me who should be thanking you for always sticking by my side. You have no idea how horrible things feel when you aren’t there with me. You deserve all of this and more.” He says kissing your forehead. 

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You’re now situated on the bean bags while the projector plays movies. Sitting in his lap-Just like he knew you would be.

“Do you remember when we found this place? ” He asks you as he holds you, bringing your hand to his lips to kiss it. 

“Yeah, I remember someone dragging me up a weird staircase at ten years old..” You giggle and poke his chest while looking up at him. 

“In my defense, we used to love a good adventure. It wasn’t anything too dangerous. We always stood in the middle. We always take the staircase that leads up here and not the ladder, it’s been a foolproof plan for a while.” He points out and brushes your hair out of your face. You guys have been reminiscing all night. The food was excellent, so now you’re paying minimal attention to the movie. He kisses your cheek and then he just stops. He’s staring at you…

“What?” 

“You’re just really fucking cute.” He says as he leans to kiss you passionately. Jungkook continues “And I’m glad you liked my idea, I spent all day trying to impress you. This just worked out way better than I expected.” He holds you tightly and then remembers something…

He didn’t even show you the snow globe he got to commemorate the occasion. He was too busy making sure you were eating.  He will never forget your face when he got you the first one, he also broke that one but…it was an accident.  He swears! He just finds it cute how happy you get every time he gives you one.

You part your mouth interrupting his thoughts. “I’ve been impressed by you my whole life, you have officially ruined me for any other guy. I was impressed back then, I’m impressed now.” You make sure he understands, as your fingers play with the zipper on his jacket. 

“Thank you, I’m glad that you love me just as much as I love you.” He says again smiling. He’s been doing that a lot lately. So have you. You’re with the right person and it couldn’t feel any better. 

 “You have a present on the table and I forgot to give it to you.” He’s looking at you. Dimples on display, eyebrows raised and another cute little grin is plastered across his face. 

Your head shoots up, so he stands up leading you to the table. Then hands you the box to unwrap the snow globe. A childhood picture of you and a young Jungkook in matching panda onesies from his 4th birthday. You’ve been asking for this photo for years and he always told you no because it was his favorite. 

“Koo! Oh my god! You really are gonna let me have this?”

He nods yeah one more time. He watches you shake the snow globe and skip around out of happiness. He’s happy just watching you enjoy it. Your joy shines through in this moment. He loves it. He loves you.

“If four-year-old me knew the girl who spilled banana milk on my panda pajamas would be the love of my life. He might’ve smiled more in this picture, instead of sticking his tongue out at you.” He says wrapping his arms around you from behind. 

“Interesting, you put your tongue into my mouth nowadays.” You’re so unserious, What is he gonna do with you?

“Now who’s the kinky one? Come here.” He says as he wraps his hand around your neck tilting your head upward lightly choking you as he swallows your moans into the kiss pushing his tongue into your mouth. 

“Proving me right?” You say raising one eyebrow and he nods his head yeah while grinning. Then pecks you one more time on your lips and kisses the tip of your nose. 

“One more gift.” He says. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Jewelry box for tonight’s final touch - a necklace with his initials on it. He carefully places it around your neck. 

“There.” He says kissing the crook of your neck. 

You reach and touch the JK that now sits perfectly on your chest. Jungkook Is the man of your dreams. No question about it. 

“I love this! I’m never taking it off!” You say spinning in his arms to face him and shower him in kisses

“I got a necklace!” You start kissing his right cheek

“And it’s got my favorite person on it!” Now you’re kissing his other cheek. 

“I’m never gonna..” You say kissing him with all your being.

“Take it off.” He says finishing the phrase for you and smiling at you. You’re both giggling and just smiling at each other as he sways you back and forth in his arms. The fondness between the both of you is obvious. 

You both just stare into each other’s eyes for a while until you break the silence. 

“Wanna go home?” You ask him.  

He pecks your lips one more time spinning you in his arms. Your back is now to his chest. So, he slides his hand over your heart, sits his chin on your shoulder, and whispers into your ear.

“I’m already there.” 

Best. First. Date. Ever. 

Taglist: @diorh0seokie @taesungx @kimber-kook @jennafromhome @joyfulwobblerhoagieegg

[oopsallfictives]

I'm gonna take a stab at creating an alternate definition of the word delusion, since I'm not a fan of the one commonly used in a medical context. This is gonna deal with some unreality and paranoia-inducing stuff, so read at your own risk.

The definition most commonly used for delusion is a false belief that a person can't be persuaded isn't real or true, even if they're shown evidence to the contrary. This is a flawed definition for a number of reasons, chief among them that sometimes people are just wrong and stubborn about it. We know that it can be incredibly difficult for people to change their minds once they're personally invested in an idea, but that's not the same as being delusional. A person who still believes vaccines cause autism probably isn't delusional, they're just personally invested in the idea because it validates their view that autism is bad and gives them a scapegoat to blame for the existence of autistic people. That's an ideology, not a delusion.

Another flaw is that some things can't necessarily be confirmed to be untrue. One of the most well-known (and commonly mocked) delusions is some variation of "the government is spying on me". This isn't something that's easily verified as either true on untrue, and it's also something that literally does happen to people. I live in the US, where we know the government spies on people. We know that in the wake of 9/11, US intelligence agencies undertook a massive campaign of surveillance of Muslim and Middle Eastern people living in the US. So "the government is spying on me" might not actually be a false belief, and you probably can't know that for sure.

Attempting to rely on a belief being false can be dangerous, too. I remember reading the story of a person who was labelled as delusional for saying Obama followed them on Twitter, and was incarcerated in a psych ward until they lied and said they'd realized they were delusional and Obama didn't follow them. The thing is, he did. It was true and verifiable, but the medical professional evaluating them refused to check if it was true so they didn't "encourage the delusion". Sane people tend to believe they have an absolute and correct understand of reality, and a lot of them would rather call you delusional than adjust their worldview. And if that person is a medical professional, they can completely turn your life upside down and stick you in conditions that the UN has called torture.

So here's my proposed alternative: a delusion is an involuntary belief that isn't rooted in logic or evidence, and that a person can't stop believing even if they know it isn't true.

Let's break that down. The involuntary part is important. Delusional people don't have control over our delusions. We don't believe them because we want to or because we think they're true, we just believe them. It's true that delusions can draw on voluntary beliefs, including bigotry, but believing the delusion isn't a choice. We can't just stop. In the case of delusions rooted in bigotry, the person is still responsible for holding those bigoted beliefs in the first place, even though they don't have control of the delusion that came from them. This is an important caveat, because people love to call bigots delusional for things they chose to believe.

The second part is that it's not rooted in any kind of logic or evidence. If a person believes something untrue due to faulty logic and/or misinformation, that's not a delusion. That's called being wrong.

Lastly, I chose the wording "even if they know it's not true" very deliberately. Some delusional people know, either always or sometimes, that our delusions aren't real or true. I personally always know, but that never stops me believing them. If you've never experienced this, it can be hard to imagine what it feels like to know something isn't true and still be unable to stop believing in it. It's contradictory and confusing and really hard to put into words. Of course, there are also delusional people who don't know their delusions aren't true, or who're confused and can't figure it out. It's not the same for everyone. This part of the definition also covers being presented evidence and being unable to accept it as true.

For some people, being told their delusions aren't true can also be extremely distressing and even push them further into it. Never reality check a delusional person unless they ask you to, or it's part of a crisis plan you made with them. The same goes for playing into or confirming a delusion. Do your best to remain neutral on whether or not their belief is true, and try to focus more on their emotions and how it's affecting them. If you know a psychotic person, it's a good idea to ask them (preferably while they're not having a psychotic episode) how they'd like you to handle it.

I'm open to critique from other psychotic people, but if you're aggressive or mean I'll probably just ignore you. This is just an idea, a rough draft, and I'd like to know what the community thinks. Nonpsychotics can reblog, but keep your thoughts to yourself

-Oliver (it/its)

[kechiwrites]

meant for each other

toxic baby daddy!ghost x reader

3/?

synopsis: after ruining your very rare date night, ghost has some choice words for you.

wc: 2.3k

cw: afab!reader, a bit of dom!ghost, angst, choking, headlock (the hot kind), language, unprotected sex, creampies, jerking off, threats of a facial (is that a thing?), possessive!ghost, threat of cervix penetration (that is a thing, my friend taught me so). no use of y/n ever.

author’s note: for the anon asking for very toxic ghost (i couldn’t go too hard tho, he still wants redemption after all)

read this first for context or don't! It’s pretty stand-alone friendly. mdni

Cutting your date short had been humiliating to say the least. Neil had been polite, but undeniably angry and uncomfortable, slapping his credit card down to cover both of your drinks and your unfinished appetizers before leaving the restaurant. 

The car ride home is filled with a choking tense silence, one Neil only breaks when he pulls into your driveway, putting his car into park behind Ghost’s giant “fuck-off” SUV.

“Look, I get that the co-parenting thing is difficult, but you may want to decide whether you and your ex are really over or not before you decide to go on a date again.” Your chest burns with embarrassment, you’re grown, this should not be happening to you. This night should’ve ended with this man’s head between your thighs at least, now you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t block you before you get through your front door.

You nod along, if only to have whatever painfully awkward lecture he’s trying to give end as soon as possible. “I know. I’m sorry, Neil. He wasn’t supposed to-” You cut yourself off. Obviously Ghost wasn’t supposed to show up to your first date in years, with your son in tow no less. “He shouldn’t have been there. He has a problem with boundaries.” And keeping his hands off your ass in public, apparently.

“Right. Well, I think maybe there’s some stuff you two need to talk about.” Neil is short and dismissive, and sure, you get where he’s coming from but your contriteness is slowly curdling into anger with every pedantic word. 

“Understatement of the goddamn century.” you speak under your breath, “Thank you Neil.” You grit through your teeth, tossing him a half hearted goodbye before you tear out of his car, bone tired and almost shaking with irritation, into your dimly lit driveway. The cream colour of your front door sings to you like a siren, teasing at the peaceful, uncomplicated oasis that lies behind it, at least until you remember what’s in there waiting for you. Neil pulls his car out of your driveway before you can even fish your keys out and you kiss that avenue of relief goodbye forever. 

Your exhaustion seems to double when you cross your home's threshold to find Ghost sitting on your couch, manspreading like he fucking lived there. Like he belongs there. A headache is already beginning to build in the back of your skull, and you just pray to god he’ll say whatever he wants to say quickly and fucking bail. Your skin feels like it’s weighted down when you drop your bag on the carpet by your door, legs heavy as lead while you toe off your shoes.

“Welcome home.” Beyond the rise and fall of his chest and shoulders he barely moves an inch, keeping his attention glued to your television, more eyeballing the sitcom rerun than actually watching it. You were not going to rise to his provocation. He was going to get the silent treatment from you, you wouldn’t utter a goddamn word-

“You were so out of line tonight.” You stomp all over your own vow before you even finish making it, letting your annoyance and his arrogance win out.

You’d meant for your accusation to sound more angry, but your fatigue seeps into every word and sucks out all the venom.

“Sure. Come here.” He spreads his thighs wider, until there’s a, frankly miniscule, space on the couch between his fucking tree-trunk legs, assumedly created for you to sit in.

“You want to act like a fucking child, leave my baby out of it.” You stay rooted to the spot, not because you're tempted to follow his command, you’re just worried you’ll attempt to slap the shit out of the soldier. 

“Our baby.” He grunts, folding his arms across his chest. His bandana is back in place, but somehow he still manages to look petulant. 

You’re going to need to see a doctor about your blood pressure for sure.

“You know what, Ghost? I’m here, I assume Thomas is asleep, so you’re done for the night. I suggest you go wherever the fuck it is you go when you aren’t here making my life hell. Oh and next time-”

“Enough.” He thunders, and your jaw snaps shut. It’s a special talent of his to feel so intimidating even when sitting in the midst of a painfully suburban living room. God knows where he learned it or why. “Come here. I won’t ask you again.” The dark tone of his voice shoots up your spine and pushes your body into action, heart thudding in time with your footsteps. Your ex watches you comply, eyes heavily lidded when you stand in front of him, looking down at the exposed half of his face, the twice broken crookedness of his nose bridge, the long lashes rimming his eyes. 

“What? Do you want?” You hiss, hands balling into fists at your sides. 

“Sit.” You start to obey, you figure you know what he wants and it’s hard to deny him when you’d had hopes of riding the guy you’d met at the convenience store into the sunset. You attempt to straddle him, raising your knee to the sofa before he stops you.

“No.” He murmurs, heavy hand on your shoulder. “Like this.” He pushes you down until you’re kneeling between his thighs. Until he eclipses your vision and the warm, off-white light of your living room forms a halo around his head from above. Ghost makes quick work of his fly, fishing his half hard dick out of the open zipper. He pumps a broad, rough hand over the length of it, working himself over until his erection is full, angry red, and leaking precum onto the tip of your nose. Your gaze bounces from his cock to his face and back again. Eventually, he decides his precum isn’t enough. 

“Stick your tongue out.” He groans, circling a hand around the root of his length, and angling it towards you. You do as you're told, palms sweating where they sit uselessly on your lap. You’re sure you make a pretty picture. Soft, obedient, pathetic. Weak when it comes to him. Weak when it comes to getting what you think you need.

Ghost drags the ruddy head of his cock over the slick pad of your tongue, once, twice, three times, until the salt and skin taste addles your brain. The sound of your spit against his heat under the heavy jerks of his hand fills your ears, shaking loose your last little bit of dignity. All of a sudden you couldn’t care less that the lecture you’d planned to deliver is being swallowed down in favour of drooling over the dripping head of Ghost's dick. You couldn’t care less that he’d ruined any chance of a second date with Nicholas or Nate or whatever the fuck his name had been. 

“Do not move.” He spits, teeth clenched, while he works his hand over his length, his free hand keeps you crumpled below him, so he can fill your sight with the heavy, veined curve of his cock, brushing your lips and the tip of your nose with his knuckles while he fists himself.

His cheeks flush the softest shade of pink and his barrel chest heaves as he gets closer to finishing over your face. Satisfied with your position, he removes the hand weighing down your shoulder and lifts your face. 

“Knees.” You almost sob with relief when you turn to face away from him, letting him carelessly tear your jeans and underwear from your body, exposing the soft, slick lips of your cunt to the open air. 

The solid thunk of his knees meeting the hardwood floor of the living room is the only warning that preempts him breaching the warm clutch of your insides. He fucks into you slowly, slower than you ever thought possible, and you wonder whether it’s to stop himself from coming or to punish you further. His hulking frame bends over you, covering your back with his obscene warmth, even through your clothes. His zipper scratches you when he forces your pussy to accommodate his girth, filling you over and over until you're punch-drunk and gasping, hands slipping against the floor with every hard thrust and grind against you. Ghost’s hips rock and stutter when you cry out, bending further down, bringing his mouth to your ear to hiss at you to shut the fuck up, lest you wake your son. 

You’re stuck oscillating between sighing or crying, stuck wanting to surrender and wanting to fight back, screaming and shouting and grasping at straws to get you the fuck out of this because you’re frightened. You are scared of him, of what he can do and has done. To you, to your son. You’re scared that ultimately, deep down, you are meant for each other. Meant to stay locked to one another, holding hands while you inevitably sink into deep black nothing, choking on each other’s frustrations and wants, your shortcomings and would-be’s. 

Empty and unchanged. Fighting the same fights, wishing the same wishes. 

Then, Ghost speaks your fears into reality.

"You're mine," he huffs over you and you are so thankful he can't see how you need to bite your wrist to stop from moaning aloud. When he finally lets up, leaving your back woefully cold, he clamps his palm around the back of your neck and pushes, until your cheek is crushed against the floor and he can mount you properly, fucking you with what feels like all his strength, his leg hitched up to reach deeper, so deep it almost hurts.

"Hate me all you want now, but that kid back there means you will always belong to me. I will always be the man who gave him to you. No matter what poor sod you try to replace me with, I'll be the one who makes you feel like this. Eventually things will go back to how they're supposed to be.”

It’s probably the most words he’s said all week, in your presence anyway. It chokes you, fills your mouth, your lungs until that familiar drowning sensation threatens to pull you under. But not before you hear him mutter to himself;

“They have to.”

You can barely breathe underneath the pressure Ghost seems to bring with him everywhere. When you don’t respond to his claim (as if you could say anything with him taking your mind apart piece by piece), he hooks his arm around your throat, pulling you up against his chest, which of course, doesn’t make breathing any easier. Ghost drags his teeth over the shell of your ear, dropping his free hand low to draw small, deliberate circles against your clit. Air flees from your lungs while your hips twitch to follow along with his hand. The tip of his dick brushes your cervix and you yelp in response, the inevitable throbbing pain sending a lightning bolt right to your brain, and accompanied with the feeling of breathlessness, the sensation forces you to come over the length of his cock, the slick walls of your pussy clenching tight around him. When his arm finally slackens, you slump in his hold, eager to draw in lungfuls of precious air while Ghost batters the inside of your cunt while he continues to hold you upright. You groan loudly and he covers your mouth with his palm, soaked in your arousal. The light overhead feels like it’s blinding you, your skin feels raw and exposed, nerves on nerves that Ghost plucks and brushes to reduce you to rubble, nothing more than ruins underneath his practiced hands. 

You screw your eyes shut, heavy breaths from your nose are the only thing keeping you from blacking out, your pulse pounds in your throat while your mind tries to catch up with your body. 

Ghost lets his forehead fall to your shoulder and he finishes inside you, murmuring something you can’t hear while his hips knock into yours. He’s tense against you, before his limbs go languid and soft, brushing his half-covered nose against the side of your neck. You bat uselessly at the arm circling your midsection with a shaky fist, urging your ex to release you. It’s too much, you can smell him on your skin, feel him drip down the inside of your thigh, and you need it to be over now. He complies and you fall forward, unprepared for the sudden weightlessness. In a flash, his hands are back on you, grasping at your forearms and pulling you against him. It’s a breeze for him to drag your lax body onto the couch and cover you with the flimsy throw blanket you usually just laid over the back of the sofa. Your mind spins with the change of position. You don’t even know when he’d pulled out of you. 

For now, you’re just content to have the heavy curtain of sleep close on the events of the day, the funny little tragedy that your life has become. Content to have Ghost tuck you in and pull his favourite disappearing act. 

You mumble dreamily; “The invisible boyfriend!” Your arm flailing upwards in a mock flourish. You think that maybe, you hear him laugh at you. A quiet huff of air, muffled by a skull themed bandana. You think that maybe, you hear him flick the lights off in the house, like you usually do before bed. You think that maybe, you hear him check on Tommy in his room, cuddled into what is undoubtedly too many stuffed toys for his tiny mattress. You think that maybe, he sits on the floor by the couch and goes back to watching television while you drift off into a dreamless sleep, resting his head against your blanket-covered knee.

But, like always, he’s gone when you wake up. So maybe what you think you heard doesn't really matter.

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