#H E L P I S U F F E R

[completeoveranalysis]

[12]

Oh the instant sympathy from Yuuko Ichihara when he walks in the room. She knows so much about what he’s going through and she can’t even help. 

And then Watanuki asks those questions and the entire plot just falls away beneath itself and I’m falling down into the void again

[actressposts]

[aoitakumi8148]

𝓛𝓸𝓸𝓴 𝓤𝓹 𝓐𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼, 𝓢𝓸𝓷... 𝓝𝓸𝔀 𝓖𝓸 𝓦𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓤𝓹𝓸𝓷 𝓞𝓷𝓮, 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓷...

𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓃 𝒷𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓃, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓃-𝑒𝓍𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝑒 ‹𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝓊𝓅› 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃? 𝐼𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓂𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝒻 ‹𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃› 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓂𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒹𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓎 𝑔𝑜?

I do not have apathy, depression, anything that would be fashionable to rant about. I am simply in pain... extreme pain. And attempting to dull the edge of it is what I have been doing since v.1. As if something has indeed been fragmented & this is the pain of my conscious life. And every time I travel the melodious/glamorous path of frenzy, every time I complete it, I am going to experience the same precious pain intensity, purity of pain/ecstasy. I am going to be eventually bound to this inmost/overwhelming awe, this vehement impulse to feel/fondle/kiss what is loved, to kneel down before it, to cuddle up to its heart, to recompense bliss with bliss... More and more. Neither the good boy nor I are free. I do not want to be free... free from... These bare feelings are ‹clawing› at the reconstructed interpretation of the organ inside me. The great minds will not know what they have done, neither will Anthony... It speaks louder-truer than anything, but the sounds are not obvious... Words. All I possess, this rich but poor instrument for... And you always do end up in the point where...

The aesthetic masterwork, perfused with the golden brilliance of authentic ideality x pierced with the darkest blade of bitter-salty inaccessibility, inevitability, impossibility.

Excruciation, pleasure, euphoria, art. Blended together. Find yourself... or lose yourself on this journey. Emotionally. Totally. An unparalleled effect... and the lulling sparkle the vessel has never actually had. Something in this body x mind has died, and I do not know if there is a way to accept it, to recover it. I have described the lesson of unprecedentedness I have learned, not the expected story of ‹insult-betrayal-contempt›. No one will ever f-g hear it. Not from me, not in this lifetime. / Loving extraordinary is merciless a priori, დ/დ become telepathic... & the severest trial ~ the unhealable wound ~ is to be a 𝓟 son without the cause to be... *If I have to detest many donkeys for a chance to protect one venerated Father figure, I will go for it.

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝒽𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝑒𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝑒 𝓀𝑒𝓅𝓉... 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒾𝓅𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓎. 𝐵𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝒮𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒸𝑒, '𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌𝓈 𝓂𝑒, 𝓉𝑜𝑜. 𝐵𝑒𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊... 𝒮𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓂𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒹𝑒𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝐿𝑒𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓅𝓈... 𝒮𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹. 𝒮𝑜 𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓈...

While I am willing to imbibe all the anguish of the human I love, to ease his suffering, the loss of us is taking its toll on me irretrievably. I see him. I see what is inside him... & I am incapable of safeguarding it, saving it truly.

I do not have apathy, depression, anything that would be fashionable to rant about. I am simply in pain... extreme pain. And attempting to put up with this gift is what I have been doing since v.1. The chest is ‹cut open› too deep, the fragility of the organ is exposed... Would you allow me to grow more flowers? I wanna do it... Because it is you, It has always been you. The one who has given us everything, endued me to the brim with the intimate fatherly affection that this organ never remembered. My eternal wish & exuberant price for humanity, the misunderstood nature. *What an odious irony. / I do not know if there is a way to recover what is gone.

I would sacrifice the lot to be with the human that needs me, needs to be healed, heals me. I would rip my core out but I cannot, the limitation of freedom. *Tell me that the ‹strings of abuse/child neglect/lies› are finally cut. Tell me to ‹celebrate›. Tell me that both 𝓟inocchio/I are wrong x naive, ‹fix› me. You have no f-g clue about it. / When it is written that your starving heart must be left half-empty & helpless... No freedom is scarier than this.

Affording harmony to the sapphire star that is going to fall away... The sentiment it deserves. All I have ever hankered for. & I am terrified of that my grandest instinct x fear will not grant any lasting peace to me.

Death will do our Sun-hugged family apart ~ but I will still be yours, for ever. The core has never felt as good x feverish as it does when with you... as astray x anxious as it does when deprived of you. I am not lying to you, I hold no resentment... Let me ‹feed on› the emotions of your heart... Even if it means your pain x my love turn the vessel inside-out & your love x my pain do the same. Not blurred, always remember. Always. If a masterpiece could be made into a masterpiece, I would prefer to share this fate. My bona fide mission, however, is not allow anything to be in vain... Even if it hurts. ~ The atrophied ability to express love verbally has been ‹roused› again, in a fervidly devoted but preciously righteous way... The ‹lash› of despair, compulsion, dream, reality.

𝐹𝑜𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓈𝑒, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓂𝒷𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒦𝓇𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝓃𝒶 𝓁𝑒𝓉 𝑔𝑜. 𝐼𝓉 𝒸𝒶𝓃... 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈. 𝐿𝒪𝒫 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝟙/𝓂𝓊𝓁𝓉𝒾𝓉𝓊𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝓅𝒶𝓁𝓅𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑜𝓃𝓈, 𝓂𝓎 𝓋𝓊𝓁𝓃𝑒𝓇𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓇.

...Take the whole meaning of this, its flavorful, pathetic, shameless, lonesome taste. Take it all, for it is all that is absolute. Teach me how to ‹merge› with it, the mortal desire of a puppet child, a human Mastro x a faceless observer like myself ~ & when the desire full of unexploited majesty is cutting off the oxygen to the lungs... True geniuses of any kind are among the silent. These eyeballs will not dry up, never fully. I have tried so many times to resist it, but why live if you repel what puts your ‹dehydrated› pieces together? I would spare no effort to keep them hot and uncurb what is being restrained... Nothing affects self-perception and ‹unmasks› the unconscious like sensation, nothing genuinely matters without it. / Shivering with cold, this body is burning. My atrophied reality in exchange for a moment of irrepressible happiness, agony, guiltless x not bottled up impulses ~ just a moment. It keeps consuming me without reserve. I do not need God. ✒

[csyakult]

✻ ⌣ 🦦 ˚ 𖤛

[izzyizumi]

{D I G I M O N} Adventure (F r a n c h i s e) ~ Adventure, 02, tri., tri. S t a g e-p l a y, L a s t E v o l u t i o n: Kizuna, & Adventure: [2020 R e b o o t] + KOUSHIRO I z u m i + {F R A M E D In} S U N S E T {S}/{C O L O R S} + {KOUTAI} / {Taishiro} / {TaiKou} (Koushiro{u} I z u m i & Taichi Y a g a m i) {As S H I P} + Koushiro & M e n o a Bellucci

+ {L O O K I N G}/A i m i n g Towards the F U T U R E {F O R W A R D}

Originally I wanted to make this for @taikouvember 2 k 2 4! (It could have fit for "L i g h t"!) {Though I made it a bit e a r l y!}

[tagerrkix]

god(?) said i shall have a badly drawn hastur as my profile picture

[liittlecrow]

.. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ….. (꩜﹏꩜)

you guys are like actually about to make me act the fuck up & get permabanned on here. i presume to already be on thin fucking ice with tumblr staff but uh yea. 🤏🏼 <— thiiiissssssssssssssjsjsbs close

with every anon i receive i can literally feel my brain melting further & further. just making me more & more submissive and compliant and filthy and disgusting and immoral on so many levels and

[littlestar-center]

(Image unrelated but I’m not suprized on how not surprised none of you asked multi questions in a single ask)

[taichi-x-koushiro]

{D I G I M O N} Adventure (Series)/tri. ~ Inspired + K O U S H I R O Izumi x T A I C H I Yagami {KouTai} / {TaiKou} / {Taishiro[u]}

"Do you ever want to see {each other} on your day{s} off?" {For any reason?}

"Do you ever want to hear {their voice} {think about them} before you go to bed?"

"Have you ever thought that you don't want 'something' to keep them away from you?" {Do you expect them to come back?}

"...It's ENOUGH."

-H o n e y L e m o n S o d a (Series) {Original Dialogue by Mayu Murata} Modified slightly by me; x Adventure (Series)

Gifs by @izzyizumi / koushirouizumi {Do Not Re-post} {Do Not Copy} {Do Not Remove Caption} {Do Not Re-produce My Work Under Any Circumstances Without My Permission Whatsoever!}

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[biitchcakes]

BLACK WIDOW: VENOMOUS vol. 1 issue 1

@mastcrmarksman / @manandmachines

( personals DNI . )

[aridhingra]

Who: Cage Newman & Ari Dhingra ( @cagenewman)

What: Father bonding and meeting the older brother

Where: Creekside Shop

When: Creek Fest 2024

Ari was excited to have some time to take Archer out, it wasn't that he didn't enjoy spending time with Lucie again, he did. A lot more than he was willing to admit out loud to anyone, but today wasn't the day to think of that. With his son strapped to his chest in a carrier, head tucked against his chest, stroking his finger through his hair as he wandered around Creek Fest on his own. Today he wanted just a few hours to see how he did, taking time on his own. It wasn't that they were planning on doing overnights anytime soon, he needed to be with his mother, and Ari respected that and respected Lucie enough to wait for them to both be comfortable. This was just a tiny step, and making sure that she still had a life and some fun. After doing a few things he decided to stop into a shop that seemed to have wooden decorations and other things, and well, he was a father now and having decorations were going to be a needed thing. Natural wood appealed to him more than plastic so he slipped inside and headed down one of the small aisles not really sure what he was looking for.

[koushirouizumi]

{D I G I M O N} ~ N e w Y e a r s 2k24 M e r c h a n d i s e + {A d v e n t u r e} 25th A n n i v e r s a r y Ver. K O U S H I R O AND M I M I ARE P L A Y I N G KARUTA!!!!!

{I believe Jou in the back is the one reading out loud the poem cues on the Yomifuda, while K o u s h i r o & M i m i search for Torifuda!!}

(Koushiro is wearing a p u r p l e kimono, traditional wear; that likely has a pre-tied haori himo, specifically a bonten-fu!)

Edit/Crop'd by @izzyizumi / koushirouizumi {Do Not Remove Caption} {Do Not Copy} (A S K to Use!)

{My main ship is another Koushiro ship; but R e s p e c t my R u l e s!!}

[hikari-m]

{D I G I M O N} Adventure 02: The Beginning {DaiHika} / {Daikari} + S u m m e r J a p a n e s e F e s t i v a l + Y U K A T A + (Daisuke)'s T A I K O D r u m m i n g + (Hikari)'s W A T E R M E L O N (S w e e t s) C r a v i n g

From GraffArt Collaboration Merch Set! (Originally Announced/Revealed on Jul. 22nd, 2k24)

Edit by @hikari-m / Kari M.otomiya {Do Not Re-p o s t} {Do Not C o p y} (A S K to U s e/S h a r e!)

{Usage of Edits may be allowed if permission is asked / or if credit is given. However, read my about & FAQ pages first. Please do NOT use / ask if you match anything in my “Do Not Interact” sections.}

(Acknowledge my Rules BEFORE Interacting!)

REGARDING EDITS/GIFS USAGE:

-they must NOT be used to spread negativity for the canon/fandom! {INCLUDES: in regards to Adventures AS A WHOLE, Adventure (Original series), 02, Tri, Kizuna, Adventure & 02 movies, Drama CDs, any spinoff materials} - they must NOT be used to promote ship-warring within the fandom -they must NOT be used to attack any Adventures character focused on IF I SEE YOU DOING THIS I WILL LIKELY BLOCK WITHOUT M E R C Y

{usage may be allowed IF PERMISSION IS ASKED TO USE.}

{Please also LIKE this post if you are wanting to use!} {Once you have “Like’d”, You must contact me directly or privately to ask for permission!} {However, read my about & F.A.Q pages first. Please DO NOT use / ask if you match anything in my “Do Not Interact” section.}

{I MAY POLITELY DECLINE USAGE REGARDLESS. Please do not take it personally!}

{if you are unsure if you can use you can SEND ME AN ASK} {I will check your blog; if you do not match anything on my “D.N.I”; [CHECK THE FAQ FOR MY D.N.I SECTION/S] you will likely/may pass the check and can use!} {However please note my ENTIRE FAQ sections on such} {It is possible I may not grant permission for other reasons} [i.e.: You post a lot of something I have blacklisted]

PLEASE ALSO NOTE: {My head-canons for the characters of this series VARY} {for this set particularly [Adventure+02 Chosen / various Advs charas]; I headcanon most as/on the M-spec/Multi gender attracted {spectrum}*} {this post/my edits ARE NOT for people who cannot respect this fact or M-spec people / M-spec headcanons / MF relationships, Queer identities, etc. in general!}

[PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL AND FOLLOW MY RULES] {OR DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST/MY CONTENTS}

(Note: Tagging/commenting/discussing Positively/respectfully is OK!!)

[isthattetofrommesmerizer]

beepaa be skdabeep skdoo bappity skebap bappity skdoo bip be be bappity boop skbep beepbop be beepaa, beepaa bopo bap bappity beepo boop skdabeep beepaa beepaa beepbop boop bappity beep beepaa beepaa beepbop boop skdabeep skdoo bap skbep beepaa bap skdoo bapboop beepbop beepaa, beepaa beep bip boop beep bappity be beepaa beepbop boop bap beepo boop skdabeep beepaa, beepaa beepbop boop bappity beepaa beep bip boop beepaa beepbop boop boop beepo boop bepo beep beepaa be bap beepaa be skdabeep beepo be be bap 42. beeeep beepbop boop bappity baaaap be bopo bap boop beep bep beepbop skdabeep beepo be be bap 42, skebap be beepaa beepbop boop de beep bap bip be bopo bap beepaa be bapboop boop beepaa beepaa be beepaa beepbop boop be beepaa beepbop boop bap skbep skdoo skebap boop be skdabeep beepaa beepbop boop bap be be brep. beep skdabeep beepaa boop bap baaaap be bopo skebap be beepaa beepbop boop de beep bap bip be bopo bap, beepaa beep bip boop 3 bap skdoo bapboop beepbop beepaa skbep beep bappity skebap 2 beepo boop skdabeep beepaa skbep. beep skdabeep beepaa boop bap beepaa beepbop boop 3 bap skebap bap skdoo bapboop beepbop beepaa, beepaa beep bip boop 2 brep be bap boop beepo boop skdabeep beepaa skbep.

i aint readin all that

[izzyizumi]

{D I G I M O N} Adventure (Series) + M U S I C V I D E O {25TH A n n i v e r s a r y Ver.} Every New M o m e n t of ~ CANON {A D O P T E E}!Koushiro{u} & I Z U M I s + Koushiro & Chosen {as F R I E N D S} + Koushiro & T e n t o m o n

Bonus:

Gifs by @izzyizumi / koushirouizumi / hikari-m {Do Not Re-post} {Do Not Copy} {Do Not Remove Caption} {Do Not Re-produce My Work Under Any Circumstances Without My Permission Whatsoever!}

Image usage rules under the ‘read more’!

{Usage of gifs may be allowed if permission is asked / or if credit is given. However, read my about & FAQ pages first. Please do NOT use / ask if you match anything in my “Do Not Interact” sections.}

(Please agree to Banner{s} BEFORE INTERACTING)

{Please agree to my banners/blog rules BEFORE Interacting}

REGARDING EDITS/GIFS USAGE:

-they must NOT be used to spread negativity for the canon/fandom! {INCLUDES: in regards to Adventures AS A WHOLE, Adventure (Original series), 02, Tri, Kizuna, Adventure & 02 movies, Drama CDs, any spinoff materials} -they must NOT be used to promote ship-warring within the fandom -they must NOT be used to attack any Adventures character focused on

IF I SEE YOU DOING THIS I WILL LIKELY BLOCK WITHOUT M E R C Y

{usage may be allowed IF PERMISSION IS ASKED TO USE.}

{Please also LIKE this post if you are wanting to use!} {Once you have “Like’d”, You must contact me directly or privately to ask for permission!} {However, read my about & F.A.Q pages first. Please DO NOT use / ask if you match anything in my “Do Not Interact” section.}

{I MAY POLITELY DECLINE USAGE REGARDLESS. Please do not take it personally!}

{if you are unsure if you can use you can SEND ME AN ASK} {I will check your blog; if you do not match anything on my “D.N.I”; [CHECK THE FAQ FOR MY D.N.I SECTION/S] you will likely/may pass the check and can use!} {However please note my ENTIRE FAQ sections on such} {It is possible I may not grant permission for other reasons} [i.e.: You post a lot of something I have blacklisted]

PLEASE ALSO NOTE: {My head-canons for the characters of this series VARY} {for Main human characters in this set particularly [Adventure+02 Chosen / various Advs charas]; I headcanon most as/on the M-spec/Multi gender attracted {spectrum}*} {this post/my edits ARE NOT for people who cannot respect this fact or M-spec people / M-spec headcanons / MF relationships, Queer identities, etc. in general!}

[PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL AND FOLLOW MY RULES] {OR DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST/MY CONTENTS}

(Note: Tagging/commenting/discussing Positively/respectfully is OK!!)

[darkheartedprince]

x. @mouthymercx0x0 continued from HERE

Riku looked at the other and smirked . His eyes gave him a [ [ t h o r o u g h ] ] pass over as he studied him .

❝ -- Who said I want anything ?? ❞