#Gwen with chronic pain all in all just feels right

[localsamalicer]

Is there a specific reason you draw Gwen with a cane or is it just the vibes you got from her?

Thank you for asking!!!

I hc Gwen with Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, therefore she has uses a mobility aid (I chose to give her a cane mostly) at times and she has some tape on her wrists arms to help with mobility/ pain there too! (Altho understandably I think it gets mistaken as a sleeve pattern/design a lot oops) Sometimes I will give her ring splints, I can’t imagine typing away at a computer all day is good for anyone’s joints but that’s stubborn Gwen for ya

Tbh I forgot what gave me the idea exactly in the first place -probably just popped into my head randomly tbh- but once it did it stuck with me.

I personally am not diagnosed with a disability or any chronic pain that affects my mobility so it wasn’t me giving her something I have, and while I have been doing research I don’t have a large wealth of knowledge so I am still very much still learning about EDS / hEDS / Hypermobility. I am trying my best tho and will admit I am not the most knowledgeable and best for creating representation for such an aspect of a person!

On a tangent, I had given Elias a cane a while ago (not with the thought of it being a genuine mobility aid at first) and think now adays that if they shared something like that, even if they end up not being blood related somehow in TMAGP universe , it would be something interesting to tie them together.

Along with some rep it also just opens the door to deepen the perspective of the struggles and perseverance of these Bouchards n their lore to me and it felt right at home with them.

May or may not have a couple of ideas for some character relationship development moments through this, as well as some funny moments. As I learn I will probably come up with an even more well rounded understanding as well as as the series develops, and I cannot wait for it!

I have been kinda waiting for a chance to yap about this thank you so much!! Sorry it turned into ramblings that probably only make sense in my little pea brain haha

[milimeters-morales]

quick disorder / disability hcs under da cut for my own hyperspecific chatfic (💔). they all need glasses by default bc of the spider bites but the teens won’t truly need them until their late twenties

miles: autism + gad (always downplaying it) + ptsd (unaware) though he is like. cptsd can be developing just from the shit he’s doing as spider-man.? does that make sense hold on. okay yes. he is making it worse for himself.

gwen: adhd (denying) + cptsd (unaware) + dyslexia + chronic wrist and ankle pain (reason she gave up ballet but still tries it)

margo: autism + depression (denying) + some sort of anxiety issues from her sheltered upbringing and spider stuff

hobie: bpd + autism + cptsd (unaware of all) (unrelated but he’s intersex as well but not entirely aware of this, i was considering PAIS but i might just leave it up to reader so they can project)

pavitr: autism + adhd + cptsd (unaware of all, last will also cause insomnia to a degree i haven’t decided but will become a huge problem for him) (this mostly relies on my made up backstory for him)

ganke: adhd + already has pretty bad eyesight (extremely nearsighted) + i’m thinking anemia ? maybe only during his period? also look into that thing where taking T just makes you produce more blood or whatever, i could probably connect all this

comics miguel: ocd + autism + reactive hypoglycemia + cptsd (unaware of first three rn, wont do much diving into his traumas bc he thinks “acknowledged = done with it”?)

peter b: autism (not entirely convinced) + depression (recovering) + chronic back/feet pain. maybe during the pregnancy he had gestational diabetes? not sure i’m even gonna focus that much on the adults in this fic that much to the point where this comes up. besides “haha comic miguel is going to burn the building down if he has to send more emails” moments

SHITTT WAIT. is that bad to make the character i hc to have ocd the “fixer” of the spider society and turning it into like a true volunteer / community space. no right. i’m overthinking that. if that was the case the i would be making it his whole personality and making everyone involved in like general maintenance of the place have ocd. yeah okay it’s fine you aren’t an awful dude. 🙏🏾🎊 WELL IDK. JUST BE CAREFUL BRO

other characters that show up (like comic miles) aren’t gonna get hcs besides what i briefly mention… like being polyamorous or disliking a food .. peni is a special case bc i truly don’t get her no matter what . like she feels just out of reach and i have no idea why so i won’t have her in the gc but will still be present in the story #realism

[alexandersimpleton]

For a little while now, I've been bouncing the idea around in my head of Frederick suffocating to death in that chest. But what if he didn't? What if he stayed in oxygen deprivation just barely not long enough to kill him, but enough to put him on life support and cause permanent brain damage?

I was hoping that I could say that this brain damage was why he tripped so much, because it hurt his motor skills. The sources I found seemed split on wether or not that was a symptom, so if anyone reading this has experience with asphyxiation induced brain damage, reblog. Anyways, what they did seem agreed on were several other issues that have potential.

For example, impaired thinking and judgment/impulse control. It'd be cool if frederick's comment about Gwen was a result of hindered judgment and impulse control. Frederick would have some ANGST happening if that was the case. It's one thing to have your disability be embarrassing or have potential to harm others, but it's something else entirely to have someone actually get hurt because of it.

It also includes personality changes, which could help explain why kid Frederick is so different from the older Frederick, along with his trauma. He might even wish he could go back.

Other symptoms that have potential but I'm not sure if they're accurate:

Chronic pain. Frederick having chronic pain just- makes so much sense for his character. I don't have an actual reason why I like this, I just like chronic pain Freddy.

Speech difficulties. I feel like Frederick's family would be super embarrassed about it, and Leland in particular would shame Frederick for it a lot. The CPC might joke about it a bit too, and might even shame him for it when they first meet him. They drop it after they realize how uncomfortable he is with it tho.

Ok "I'm not a medical professional" section over

I feel like the media might gossip about it too. Like, it'd be a big thing across the plaid kingdom that the youngest prince has brain damage, I doubt they'd be nice about it either. It'd be one of those things that everyone he meets mentions, and it makes Frederick really uncomfortable every time. Sometimes they'd be all pitying and talk about how hard it must be to appear in public with his brain damage. Others would look down on him and bully him, tell him he needs to go back to the hospital whenever he trips because of the whole motor function thing, etc etc.

Blaine probably doesn't exactly put out the fire either. As much as I want him to have a redemption arc, it would certainly be a Redemption arc with a capital R. Right now, Blaine seems like the kind of hypocritical jerk to gossip about Frederick behind his back.

In general, the media media wouldn't have the best opinion of Frederick, and it wouldn't just be just because of his shrimpy stature.

These are my sources btw:

[ito-itonomen]

cute concept that came to me while I was at work.

Human AU where Eda's 'curse' is actually some kind of health condition that comes with chronic pain. Maybe she calls it 'the beast' as a joke whenever she has a particularly bad pain day to keep people from worrying.

She's married to Raine and owns 'the Owl House vintage shop' and lives in the large apartment above the shop with Raine and their kids. Eda has a raptor handlers licence to care for Owlbert who can't fly very well due to an old injury maybe from getting hit by a car in his youth. Owlbert lives in Eda's shop and likes to hang out mostly on his perch on the window or at the Register. Eda would fight God in a Denny's parking lot for him.

Luz is either be adopted when she was a baby or Raine and Eda's bio kid, but king was adopted by them as a baby and is known along with his sister as the tiny terrors of the town where they all live.

Lilith was either a cop or enlisted in the army right out of high school but either way eventually either quit her job or finished her service and moved on to become a lawer in the next city over and lives in a small apartment with her adopted son Hunter.

Raine is a high school orchestra and band teacher at the human version of Hexside. They also occasional perform at parties and special occasions at the request of their coworkers or neighbors, though they don't like to perform at large events. They are VERY protective of the kids in a sharp contrast to Eda's own laid back parenting style. The BATTS are their students whom Raine kept contact with even after they graduated. Eda often jokes she should have her sister draw up adoption forms for thise three as they hang around her shop so often just to spend time with Raine after their college classes. Luz fondly calls them her older siblings.

Luz is the star player of the soccer team there, just like her mama before her. Bump puts up with A LOT for the sake of keeping the 'mini Eda' on the team and kicking Glandus high butt every game.

Hooty calls himself the kid's uncle's, but honestly he's more like a distant cousin from Eda's great-grandmother's side of the family, he works with Eda at the Owl House and generally just hangs around to cause chaos. Eda applauds herself for not adding homicide to her criminal record every time her cousin shows up unnanounced in her house.

Gwendolyn has a strained relationship with both her children as Eda dropped out of school and ran away from home at 17 when her health condition started to get worse and Gwen was constantly making important medical decisions FOR Eda without ever asking what she wanted as well as completly neglecting Lilith. Gwen never went to Lilith's high school graduation or her college graduation OR the party Eda held to celebrate Lilith starting her own law firm with Kikimora as her business partner whom she has the oddest love/hate relationship with.

Feel free to add to this, or use this idea for a fic, I just needed to get it out of my system haha!

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

How does Arthur cuddle?? (Mainly with Gwen but you can do other pairings if you like also ☺️)

(Headcanon Masterlist) (Full Masterlist)

Aww this is really cute and I love you :D

SO, I'll do a few pairings, but not many, because they'll likely all be pretty similar :)

Arwen - He like sleeping on his back, but with Gwen cuddled up to his side/on his chest, with one of his arms around her. He just wants to hold her close, and even on nights when it's simply too hot to cuddle, they'll always be touching somehow, even if it's just the back of their hands resting against each other. If one of them wakes and they can't feel the other, they instantly snap to being wide awake until they know where said other is, and they can't get back to sleep until they at least know they're safe and happy, if not actually in bed with them.

Merthur - Arthur's on his back, with one of his arms stretched out across the bed, and Merlin sleeps on his front on top of that arm, with his own arm resting across Arthur's chest. So like... sort of cuddling?? But not really lol. Similar to Arwen, they HAVE to be touching, especially as this would be post reveal-of-everything, so they're constantly worried about the other, and need to know that the other is safe and breathing. This position, though not consciously decided, is a way for them to feel the other's chest moving up and down, even whilst they sleep. If one of them has been injured/upset/hurt in any way, the other is the Big Spoon for at least a couple nights. Gotta hold 'em close. I feel like they really struggle to sleep/can’t sleep at all unless they're together.

Mergwenthur - They rotate who's in the middle, depending on who's been having the shittiest time. Right after the reveal (if Mergwenthur happens super quickly after the reveal) Merlin is in the middle for a long time, because the other two are so apologetic and worried about him, and he has a lot of nightmares that they want to protect him from. When Gwen gets treated like crap in court, she's in the middle, when the council undermine Arthur/when his birthday comes around/when it's the anniversary of his father's death, Arthur is in the middle, when Merlin's nightmares/chronic pain flair up/when he's stressed because of destiny/when he's injured in some magical battle, he's in the middle, etc.

Arthurlot - Lance is the Big Spoon. This is never revealed to anyone, but Arthur loves it. Gotta be held, and Lance is just so tender and soft and good at it. Even if they weren't romantically paired, Lancelot is one of the few people Arthur fully trusts to have his back, so it makes sense that when they do get together, Arthur finds it comforting to have him limpet-ing to his back whilst they sleep.

Arwaine - It's a battle in bed, for the first while of their relationship. Just constant shuffling and swapping and figuring out what's comfortable, because as much as Gwaine is shorter, they're both pretty big, muscly dudes. In the end, they sleep sort of similar to Merthur, except whoever is on his front, is closer to the other, with his head on/above their shoulder nestled into the crook of their neck. It swaps around randomly who is on his back and who is on his front. However, they both run pretty hot, so the warmer the weather gets the further away from each other they shuffle in the night, they usually wake up holding hands/with their pinkies intertwined though, on the nights where they're barely touching at all.

~

Hope this is what you're after anon!! I love you, and this was super cute and fun to think about, I need to write some soft fics soon :D

[deeeelightfuldee]

What made you happy in the last 24 hours? hearing from K. getting a new backpack. 

What was the last book you read? I never remember the names. im not sure why, it just never seems significant to me to pay attention to the names.

What was the most fun thing you did in the last 24 hours? laying on the grass yesterday staring at clouds with nephews and their friends and naming what shapes we saw.

Have you done anything adventurous lately? no, not really.

What was the last thing you regretted doing (or not doing)? not asking more questions when I should have  What was the last thing you felt confused about? Ohhhhhhhhhk this is weird and embarrassing but i thought it was weird that K is supposed to be looking at homes but it seems hes at work (surprise surprise). its a day off for him, or was supposed to be. and thats so creepy that im looking, im struggling with not talking. i guess he should probably turn off location lol. 

What was the most delicious food you ate in the last 24 hours? ummmm dinner last night was good

Do you like the way your hair looks right now? no. its up in a bun and i have a headband on. its “get business done” hair. lots of packing and such. 

Do you think it rains too much where you live? it doesn’t rain enough. i would love for it to rain REGULARLY. 

What color is your laptop? silver. frick i love this laptop. its breaking apart but i can’t get enough.

Is your computer slow? Is it having problems? its not slow at all. it’s very efficient and speedy. I don’t use it for any heavy programming at all. 

Do you worry a lot, or do you live carefree? I spend probably most of my time leaning towards carefree. 

Do you have a Bible that’s falling apart? i do :) good sign it gets use, right?

What did the last pair of earrings you wore look like? These little white hoops. like extremely small huggie hoops. 

What is the next fun thing you are planning to do? ummmmmmmm... idk. birthday plans are starting to form.

Do you suffer from chronic pain? i do

What was the last thing you did outside? pick up a package from amazon.

Do you need to clean your room? mildly, yes. its chaotic from packing prep

Have you ever read the Bible all the way through? yes

Do you collect mason jars? not at all. i don’t think i have one single one? 

What was the last thing you decorated? my new backpack.

What’s on your floor? a rug. fans. slippers.

What was the last piece of candy you ate? chocolate

Are you wearing shorts right now? yes i am. thats all we will be seeing here on this body for the next like 2.5 months lol

Who was your first best friend? probably nea and gwen

Who was/is your last or current best friend? my last one was K. idk i feel without one right now.

Do you have a best friend currently? no

Are you lonely? yeah in many ways 

Have you spent most of your life lonely? i spend a lot of my time feeling alone not lonely. but lately kinda lonely. 

Did you answer your phone in the last 24 hours? uhhhhhhh no. lol woops.

What’s your favorite magazine to read? im not sure. magazines are so fun to flip thru maybe ill flip thru some on the plane tomorrow.

What color is the sky right now? I assume blue but i close my shades in the summer to try and keep the heat out.

Do you like the name Skye? eh

Do you want to have kids? I really would and im worried about it.

When was the last time you ate taffy? probably a couple years.

Name three toppings you like on a salad. bacon. egg. green onion

Do you like pineapple? i doooo

Would you rather visit Asia or Europe? europe

Do you know anyone who travels all the time? yes

Do you think it’s selfish to travel all the time, when most people can’t? no, i dont care what you do. 

Would you ever consider studying abroad? I almost did for a while. but the money was the concern. What was the last thing you ate? chocolate. i am so hungry.

Are you happy with your life right now? half of it is so great but the other half is really, really, rough.

What color was your first phone? silver

Do you remember your high school locker combination? I didnt have a combination because i didnt have a locker because i was homeschooled

If you’re a youtuber, list three companies you’d like to sponsor you. im not a youtuber. i would like the meal kit company, old navy, and dyson to sponsor me lol

Do you miss someone? yes. a lot.

If applicable, how long did it take you to grieve the loss of your best friend? im no where near the end of that. its bugging me big time and theres nothing at all i can do but try and just suck it up.

Do you wear flip-flops? oh yeah, regularly

Which do you like better: cacti, palm trees, or maple trees? maple first and then palm trees.

What type of tree do you see most of where you live? ooo lets see. oak, ash, willow, etc.

Have you ever seen fireflies? last night in fact.

Can you see the moon from your bedroom window? not right now, but ask me tonight. 

[fandom-blackhole]

First of all give Gwen a good belly rub and a kith om her head. I bet she is a good girl. Also, I don't know what kind of force bond thingy is this but you and I think in almost the same wa. No worries me likey!

AAA I was thinking about Fennec too! See told you we are connected,

Boba having grandpa moment sksksks but yes, he loves Fennec as much as he loves you,

Also, for the love of God, don't ask him to take photos of you,

All your selfies with him end up looking like this 😐Boba 🤗You,

Boba was feeling extra and bought two diamonds collars, one smaller for Fennec and a bigger one for you,

If, he was not a crime lord and didn't meet you he would end up being like a crazy old cat lady,

Is your head okay? It must be painful to have a brain the size of the universe.

Yes, yes, yes Paz definitely helps hurt animals and went out of his way to get rhe right diploma for that,

Din is butthurt when children flood him with question when will Mr Paz come again,

But he swallows his pride and totally participates in eco wokness classes,

Recently I watched a documentary on YouTube about japanese bunny cafe sooo

Paz has also area for the rabbits in the restaurant???

One day on his way to work Paz came across a pupper in distress and he performed a cpr on the dog, someone filmed it and it went viral,

You were scrolling through Instagram and had to double take

Wait was it? No it can't be

Omg Paz my hero, being friends with animals like a Disney princess,

I need you to lay down, your back must be hurt as well. Hurt from carrying this AU on your back queen.

Space themed room for Grogu 10/10 idea and your idea for the metal ball works so well!

Grogu + Din + Running = one day you end up tending to your boys, there are some scratches on their knees and elbows, but mostly Din took the damage(like it was bound to happen there are compilations of din landing on his butt),

Grogu's stroller must be made out of some, really resilient material (beskar??),

Grogu being freaked out by Fennec, like he sees a kitty but the kitty behaves like a doggo??? (srsly Maine Coons are the best high five bestie),

Boba tried to snap a pic of Grogu and Fennec, yeah, we know how it ended up looking,

Grogu desperately tries to steal and sneak in snacks for uncle Paz' pupper because it's so tiny, must feed it a lot! (oh bless his poor soul, little angel),

You and Din spent a whole day shopping for a space themed blankie, literally went to every shop possible, you were too dedicated to the cause but you ended up placing an order on-line,

When Boba had to go abroad for business, you settled on having a FaceTime date,

You wanted to surprise him so he would try his best to come back home as soon as possible,

You call him up appearing on his screen, wearing his favorite lingerie,

Only to end up to a close up of Boba's forehead and him saying

Princess I can't see you, can you hear me, baby girl are you there??,

Srsly what's wrong with him not being able to use the technology correctly,

You decided on sending him pictures, yours were really spicy, you wanted to show him what he was missing,

Well, he send you a pic too. You weren't sure if it was his arm, leg, or his dick.

Maybe you need to check if his camera is stuck on some type of foggy filter because it's just ridiculous at this point,

Sorry I kinda went all of the place with those. If you want to stick up to specific theme you can choose! Or we can just keep up the random brainstorming - 🐣

Kajdksmskaksb stop! You can't be this nice to me lmao. (Also its funny you mention that my brain must hurt bc I do have chronic headaches and migraines) oh and Gwen says thank you for the belly rub and kisses.....

Lmao Boba is a total grandpa when it comes to technology

He totally takes pictures for you like this

Diamond collar you say 👀👀👀 (Boba's princess is totally inscribed on the inside)

TRYING TO FUCKING FACETIME WITH BOBA OMFG

This man is just fuckinv holding the phone like you would when speaking on the phone, you're just seeing the side of his head

He totally tried to send a disk pick but he only got his thigh and like part of his left ball in the picture, not that you can tell

How the fuck does this man have a phone that has the ability to take pictures as good as the best cameras out there manage to only get pictures that look like they were taken with a flip phone?!?!?!

Din's students definitely ask every day when Paz is coming, they just love him and it takes sssoooooo long for him to come back lmao

Paz's restaurant has places for all types of animals, it doesn't matter what they are he has thought of something for them, and he has food for all of them

Paz totally accidentally becomes viral and gets interviewed by so many news channels, and of course he uses the exposure for good and makes an Instagram to show case the restaurant, his organization, and all of the charities he helps

The Instagram blows up and becomes verified and all the money he makes from it he donates to a new charity each month

(He starts hanging up all the fanart he receives all over the restaurant, especially the ones done by kids)

Ok so Din coming home just covered in scratches and your just like 'wtf happened?!?!!'

Turns out Grogu tried to jump out of the stroller while he was jogging and he had to catch him

Din's entire arm and knee + part of his cheek are just scratched to hell, Grogu hand has a small scratch and he's acting like its the end of the world

Grogu + Fennec = over protective pet and the child that it protects

Fennec is constantly pulling Grogu back from trouble by biting his pants leg

Paz's chihuahua (aaaahhh we need a name) loves abusing Grogu's feeding them habit, constantly begging for food around him and he A L W A Y S finds a way to give them some even if you are watching him like a hawk

Also I raise you, Grogu's favorite movies and TV shows are Star Wars

You are constantly trying to convince Din that he looks like Pedro Pascal, but he always deny it

Jokingly one day you say, "you know what you're right Din, Pedro is so much hotter."

He pouts for the rest of the day

For his bday you get Grogu a Luke figure and post it to Twitter, Mark Hamill sees it and retweets it telling him happy bday and may the force be with you

Grogu totally flips out in excitement

Din makes Grogu his own mandalorian helmet that he helps him paint what colors he wants

Paz gets Grogu a telescope and a book about stars

Boba of course spoils the kid and gets the giant lego star wars sets, as well as one of the actual blasters used on set of the OG movies (its one of the ones that that really cool green bounty hunter used 😏)

Also this is us:

Anyways, sorry I was all over the place, I just got so excited lmao!!!

(Send me THOTS!!)

[thatfanfictionchick]

MLQC SONG LIST

Does that make sense? Basically, songs I hear that I think fit different characters.

I’m a chronic over-explainer so, some of them fit because of the lyrics. Some of them fit more for the tone or the general feel it inspires, ya know?

There will probably be regular updates to this. 

[Gavin]

One Thing Right - Marshmello w/Kane Brown (MC, obvs)

T-Shirt - Thomas Rhett (morning aaafteeeerrr)

Just Like Fire - Pink

Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips

Crush - David Archuleta 

South Of The Border - Ed Sheeran/Camila Cabello w/Cardi B (that Mediterranean Date, y’all)

I’ll Be - Edwin McCain (this one was a little hard because I feel like it could fit all the guys, but “I’ll be better when I’m older” is so uniquely Gavin)

[Shaw]

Accidentally In Love - Counting Crows

Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain) - Gary Allan

When Your Heart Stops Beating - +44

[Kiro]

10000 Hours - Dan + Shay, Justin Bieber (I’ve seen other people use this song to describe Kiro and they’re all right)

Drag Me Down - One Direction

Tell Me You Love Me - Demi Lovato (Kiro can’t be perfect all the time, and at those times when he feels low he needs reassurance)

Hanging By The Moment - Lifehouse

Slide - Goo Goo Dolls

Geronimo - Sheppard

Intentions - Justin Bieber feat. Quavo

Like You Love Me - Tauren Wells

Fire And Dynamite - Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors

[Helios]

When Legends Rise - Godsmack (y’all have seen that bloodied Helios karma yeah?)

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

I’m With You - Avril Lavigne (MC & Helios, makes me think of that bone-deep sadness of finding someone you don’t know anymore)

Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy (Kiro into Helios: “I’m gonna change you like a remix, then I’ll raise you like a phoenix”)

[Victor]

Love Someone - Lukas Graham

Wherever You Will Go - The Calling

Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx (that Victor-going-to-the-future period hurts man)

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams - Green Day (in-the-future Vic again)

Graveyard - Halsey (MC & Victor)

You And Me - Lifehouse (the man loves hard alright)

Adore You - Harry Styles (okay but imagine Victor taking MC to some private beach destination and then they never leave the bungalow)

Never Let You Down - The Verve Pipe

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat (he's soft for MC okay??)

Nobody But You - Blake Shelton/Gwen Stefani

[Lucien]

Anti-Hero - Sekai No Owari

Memories - Maroon 5 (”there’s a time that I remember when I did not know no pain, now my heart feel like December when somebody say your name”)

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls (don’t cry...don’t cry...)

I’m Still Here - Goo Goo Dolls (cries really, really hard)

Cradles - Sub Urban (general creep and melancholy + “honesty is a one way gate to hell, I wanna taste consumption”)

Dissolve - Absofacto

Alligator - Of Monsters and Men

Joker And The Thief - Wolfmother 

Halo - Beyonce

Bad Blood - Taylor Swift

[MC]

Higher Love - Whitney Houston, Kygo remix

Dance Monkey - TONES and I (she always seems to be stuck on someone else’s stage)

Fight Song - Rachel Platten 

Brave - Sara Bareilles

Invisible Touch - Genesis (how does she manage to get all these high profile guys wound around her little finger??)

Absolutely - Nine Days

How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty

[jubilantwriter]

Jaspvid Week 2020:  Day 4 - Hurt/Comfort

(AO3)  @jaspvid-week

get ready for a gratuitous amounts of capslock 

Remember When They Were Bad Friends in Canon?  Well- NEVER HAPPENED.  Aha!  Oho!

Summary:  David was never good at the whole sleeping thing.  He’s been working on it, honest!  And he’s been getting better at it, even if there are some places he’s better at sleeping with than others.  But sometimes... sometimes when he falls asleep, all he wants to do is wake up.

Word Count: 3148

WARNINGS:  PTSD, Graphic Descriptions of Wounds (just to be safe)

David knows that dreams aren't real.  That the chronic nightmares that plagued his sleep as a child were nothing but the result of his fears and anxieties left unchecked and unacknowledged for so long.  He thought he'd gotten over that part of his life - sure, he still had bouts of insomnia every once in a while, especially at Camp Campbell, but he'd very rarely suffered from nightmares that had him waking up screaming bloody murder.  And it's all very rare indeed!  Gwen has only needed to wake him up a few times throughout their time working together.  

He really thought that he was finally okay.  That's what he thinks, when he looks down at hands covered in an inky red before looking back up to see Jasper, hunched over with hands trying desperately to stop the bleeding.

Jasper's bleeding.

Pained blue eyes, wide with fear as light fades fast from them, stare deep into David's own horrified greens.  

"Davey," he gasps out, before collapsing to his knees.  

"Jasper!"  He lurches forward and catches his boyfriend in his arms, and it's just a dream, just a dream, just a dream-

"You have to run!"  Jasper shoves David away as best as he can, already wheezing as blood continues to drip down his chest.  Long, deep gashes that look worse than they did years ago reveal themselves to David through a shredded t-shirt and it's just a dream just a dream just a dream-

"I'm not leaving you here!"  David grabs Jasper as he slumps forward, and it's just a dream just a dream just a DREAM-

His hands feel wet and slick and sticky and red red red-

NO.

Just a DREAM just A DREAM IT'S JUST A DREAM-

But he feels warmth, Jasper feels warm, he feels warm and wet and cold and wet and the wet feels warm and Jasper feels cold and Jasper is solid, solid in his arms and heavy and David can feel his body heave with every desperate gasp every pained shudder every wet cough-

JUST A DREAM!

JUST A DREAM JUST A DREAM JUST A DREAM JUST A DREAM-

BUT WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?

His vision swims and swirls and spins and he can't see there's tears falling from his eyes real tears streaming down his cheeks as he cradles Jasper's weak body and he hears every little "plip" and every little "plop" his tears make as they land on Jasper's face-

Jasper's face Jasper's pale face Jasper's dying face and David begs begs begs to wake up, please wake up he wants to WAKE!  UP!

He doesn't want to feel like he's losing his boyfriend like he's watching the same scene replay over and over again like he's letting things repeat like he's let this happen before one time two times three million times and he doesn't want to FEEL THIS ANYMORE!

HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE THIS ANYMORE!

WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP BLOOD ON HIS HANDS BLOOD ON HIS CHEST AND IT'S REAL AND WET AND OH GOD PLEASE WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP THIS ISN'T REAL THIS CAN'T BE REAL HE DOESN'T WANT THIS TO BE REAL WAKE-

"-UP!"  A deluge of cold water hits his face and he screams, log tossed into the air as Gwen steps back.  "David, shit!"

"I- huh- whu-?"  He pants heavily, looking wildly around the room as he tries to get his bearings.  And then he remembers blood on his hands and blood on his chest-

"Jasper- Jasper!  I have to- I gotta-"

"Woah woah woah!"  Gwen catches him just as he tumbles out of bed.  "David, deep breaths!"  Com on, with me now.  In, out..."  She guides him through a breathing exercise, calming him down just enough for David to finally make sense of where he is.

He breathes in, and he recognizes the cabin he’s in, and where this cabin is.

Camp Campbell.

He breathes out, and feels the heat all around him, hears the crickets, and recognizes what those all mean to him.

It's summertime.

And as he steadies his breathing, all his thoughts connect back to a crucial bit of information.

Jasper's at their apartment, waiting for him to come back.

Jasper's alive.  And well.  And far far far away from the forest, away from bears, away from childhood memories that still struck fear in both their hearts.

"What..."  He blinks blearily, looking out the window and realizing just how dark the sky is.  Or still is, rather.  "What time is it?"

"Three am."  Gwen rubs her temples, exhausted and sleep-deprived.  Whoops.  That was definitely his fault.  "You were shouting- well, screaming, in your sleep.  It was damn near impossible to wake you."  He looks down to see the mud-caked slippers she still has on and winces.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize."  She waves off his guilty look but quickly grows concerned again when his shoulders still droop.  "...Listen.  I called Jasper."  

"You WHAT?"  Though peeved at his shriek, she gestures for him to settle down.  

"Fucking relax, you weren't waking up and I thought he'd have some idea for how I could wake you.  He suggested the cold water.  The bucket was all me."  David blinks before remembering that, oh right, he's currently drenched.  Gwen tosses him a towel before he can start shivering.  Just like Gwen to be prepared like this.

Although he wishes she didn't have to be prepared for this kind of situation.

"Are you gonna call him?"  Gwen watches as he dries his hair, towel now resting on his shoulders as he looks to his phone.  The device sits unplugged, probably from Gwen yanking it from its charger in her desperation to find a way to wake David.

His very instinct is to dial up Jasper's number, but the time of night makes him hesitate.

"I... probably shouldn't."  Though the thought of hearing Jasper's voice, just to hear him breathe and sigh and affirm and reaffirm that he was okay and that it really all was just a horrible nightmare, he thinks about how Jasper also gets up early in the morning to drive to work.  If he calls him now, would the brunette even have enough time to sleep?  What if he crashes his car because he stood up all night talking with and worrying over David?  Jasper shouldn't have to risk that just because David had a nightmare.  "It's late and- he needs his sleep.  He has to wake up in like, four hours."

"Don't think your boyfriend will be sleeping tonight."  Gwen sits on her bed with a tired plop.  "He heard you screaming and was about to drive over here."

"What?!"  David leaps up from his bed and lunges for his phone.  "He can't do that!  I have to make sure he stays home-"  His speed dial calls up Jasper in a second and he listens to the rings anxiously.  "He has work in the morning, and if he comes here, he won't have any sleep AND he won't have any time to drive back-!"

"I know."  Gwen's smirk graces her lips just as Jasper picks up.  "That's why I convinced him to stay home already."

"Hello?"  David's mind blanks as Jasper's worried voice carries over from the speaker.  Of course Gwen took care of that already.  She puts in some earplugs and puts on an eye mask, already turning onto her side to resume sleeping as he struggles to create words.  "Davey?  Is that you?"

"A-ah."  Well, at least she's giving him some privacy.  That's nice of her, at least.  "I.  Um."

"It's okay, take your time."  Jasper's voice soothes him from miles away, and it's enough to get him to relax just a bit.

"...Right."  He closes his eyes and breathes through his nose, exhaling from his mouth and repeating.  Jasper remains quiet, but David can hear his breathing from his side.  And it's.  It reminds him of where he is, and that everything is fine here.  It was just a dream.  "Hey, Jasp."

"Sup, homeslice."  David sits with his back against the headrest, arm hugging his knees to his chest as he listens to every sound of Jasper he can catch.  "You doing alright?"

"More or less."  He laughs weakly.  "It was just- just a bad dream.  A really bad one."  

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I..."  Large gashes that span Jasper's chest flash in his mind.  Had they gone lower when he was first mauled by those bears...  He sucks in a breath and blinks hard, willing the tears to stay at bay.  "I don't think I can, sorry."

"That's okay."  Jasper assures him gently, and he wishes, really wishes, that Jasper was here with him right now.  It's not the first time he wishes his bed was tucked away in a corner of the room, and not just pressed against the wall.  If only so he could feel some approximation of a hug.  "...You want me to drive up there?"

"Don't do that."  Even though he desperately wants him here.  "Y-you have your job to worry about, and there's the bills and rent to pay-."

"I can take a day off, get my shift covered.  Wouldn't hurt to use up a little bit of my PTO."

"It was just a bad dream, you don't have to-."

"David."  Jasper's voice is firm but still maintains that gentleness he's held since they were kids.  "It wasn't just a bad dream."

"...Y-yeah."

"Bud, are you crying?"

"I'm not."  He sniffs and scrunches his brows together.  "...Okay, maybe a little."

"...I'm driving up there."

"No!"  David doesn't need to be there to imagine the shock on Jasper's face.  "Don't- don't come here.  Please.  Please.  Stay home."  His voice shakes and breaks as he speaks, and he's imagining Jasper in the forest, Jasper facing a bear, Jasper bleeding out and hurt-

"Shhh, okay, okay, I won't."  A gasp escapes him and, dang, he really is sobbing now.  "I'm sorry, I won't come."  He hears the distress in Jasper's voice and immediately panics.

"It's not because I don't want you here!"  He tries to wipe away his tears, but they keep coming, and god, god, he wishes Jasper was here.  Jasper could easily make his tears go away with his kisses and hugs, but Jasper being here is the last thing either of them need.  "It's just- you know, you left Camp Campbell for a reason.  And I'm not going to force you to come back here."  Just because I want you here, he thinks to himself.

"You're not forcing me to come over there but..."  He hears Jasper's weary sigh and imagines the brunette running his fingers through his hair.  "...Is this about your nightmare?"

"I..."

His hesitation is enough for Jasper.

"Okay."  The soft understanding is clear in his voice.

"Sorry."  He mumbles into the phone, feeling like an idiot.  "It's dumb- I'm dumb, I wasn't even the one who got hurt- it was you, but I'm sitting here waking everyone up because of a stupid nightmare and I wasn't even the victim, it was you and-"

"Hey hey, wanna slow down for me?"  Jasper's gentle tone has him stop long enough to breathe.  "What's this about me being the victim?"

"...You know.  The... bear attack."  There's a sharp inhale from the other side.  "It's just- it really shouldn't be me, right?  I shouldn't be the one getting nightmares about this, I don't even have the right to, I'm just-"

"You got some heavy thoughts bouncing around your headspace, my guy."  Despite David's words, Jasper still manages to chuckle.  "Listen man, what happened that day... affected both of us differently."

"...Mmmgh."

There's a creak from Jasper's side.  Like he's adjusting his position on the bed.  David closes his eyes and pretends for a second that Jasper's sitting next to him, one arm wrapped around him as he hugs him close.

"I'm not gonna lie - falling from a cliff and being attacked by bears was the most unwoke thing to have ever happened to me, like, ever."  David laughs a little, because of course Jasper would phrase it like that.  "I still hate nature, and I still hate that you're willing to go back to camp every year in spite of what happened.  But you got your own reasons.  Because that day changed you too."  He imagines Jasper leaning against him, pressing his head against David's as he lowers his tone, almost to a whisper.  "You saw me die nearly twice.  Once, when you couldn't save me from the cliff.  And the second time when you found me in the cave mauled and bleeding.  You saw my wounds and helped me back to camp.  You watched it all happen."

"Yeah, I sure did watch."  He grumbles into the phone and sighs.  "You were covered in scraps and scratches and then QM took your badge away because I used your shoes."

"To save me."  Jasper shifts again from the other side.  "Davey, you did way more than anyone else did for me that day.  And you were just a kid.  We were both kids, and you had to watch as someone your age nearly died because all the other adults barely did anything to help."  There's a slight hitch in Jasper's voice as he voices what David won't say.  "Maybe you’re not scared of bears like me, or even hate nature like me.  But Davey, that day made you so terrified of losing people.  Like, really losing them.  And that’s a real and justified and valid reaction to what happened, man.  Because you don't wanna see another kid fall from a cliff or come back covered in blood.  It messed you up real bad, even if you weren’t physically hurt like I was."

"I..."  David sighs as he thinks about what Jasper would be doing right now.  Kissing his temple?  Holding his hand?  Looking him in the eye while cupping his face?  Maybe all three, knowing his boyfriend.  "You sound a lot like my therapist."

"I'll take that as an 'I'm right' card then.  Just, don't beat yourself up just 'cause I'm the one with the physical scars.  It was a bad day for both of us.  Pretty sure if our roles were reversed, you'd be telling me not to beat myself over it too."

"I mean- yeah, I wouldn't want you to feel awful over something like this."

"Exactly."  A soft chuckle comes from Jasper as he jostles the phone.  "...Feeling better, Davey?"

"A little, yeah."  He smiles to himself as he cradles the phone close.  "I mean, as long as I can hear your voice, I think I'll be okay."

"What, just my voice?  You don't want the whole package deal?"  Jasper makes a wounded sound, drawing a small laugh from David.  "I thought you loved me!"

"I do love you, Jasp.  More than the whole world."

"...Aw, I'm blushing."  His laugh turns into a snort.  "Want a pic as evidence?  I think my selfie game is off the heezy now!"  

"As tempting as it is, I think I'll have to pass."  Jasper takes forever taking selfies.  Something about getting the angle right, then getting the right pose, then making the right face, then choosing the filters, and then he starts all over from scratch if he doesn't like it.  David would probably have passed out by the time Jasper manages to send even one selfie.  "I'd rather see you in person."  David continues to smile when he hears a soft squeak from Jasper.

...Wait.  Hold on.

"Is that an invitation?"

Oh hooey.

"No-"

"It's like, what, Friday today?  I can take the day off-"

"Jasp-"

"-It's no big deal, I'm good at faking being sick-"

"Jasp-"

"-Rent a room at that dank motel, it's a motel right?  All I know is that it's got rooms I can rent, and then we can be alone-"

"Jasper, oh my god!"  He covers his mouth to stifle his laugh, but the chortle comes out all the same.  "I still have to do my job!"

"Fair, fair.  But I can just wait for you.  Maybe sneak out during your lunch or something, give me a kiss on your breaks like I'm a prince waiting for a ride-by smooch from his knight in shining armor."

"You're being ridiculous!"

"Am I?"  He can easily picture Jasper wiggling his eyebrows on his face.  "Or am I just happy to hear you laugh?"

"Both."  His laughter subsides as it turns into a content hum.  "...I really love you, Jasp."

"I love you too, sunshine."  David giggles at the nickname as Jasper laughs along with him.  "I'll see you on the weekend then?"

"Alright."  It's not like he can stop Jasper once the man's made up his mind.  And... he really would like to see him again soon. 

"Most excellent, my dude."  

"Ah jeez."  He shakes his head as Jasper laughs again.  "I can't believe you're really coming up here."

"Anything to see your dorky smile."

"You're the dork!"  David rubs at his face, the little trails left by his tears now dried up and gone.  "...Um, Jasp?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks.  For.  Just talking with me."  He smiles against his knees, a light blush on his cheeks even if Jasper can't see him.  "It really means a lot to me."

"...Of course, Davey.  I know you'd do the same for me.  Hell, you already do!"  A sleepy smile matches the sweet laughter on the other side.  "It's getting late.  I'm gonna call in sick and take a nap.  You get some sleep too, alrighty?"

"Mhm."  Warmth blossoms in his chest as he gets up to grab his sleeping log.  "I can't wait to see you."

"Same, homey.  It's lonely without your goofiness to make things bright again."  

"Okay, I'm cutting this off before this continues any longer."  Jasper chuckles on his end before sighing.

"Right, have sweet dreams, Davey."

"You too, Jasp."

"That's easy when all I gotta do is think of you!"

"Jeez- good night, Jasper!"

"Night, Davey!"

He hangs up the call, a soft smile on his face as he giggles to himself.

Right.

It was just a dream.  A bad, awful, horrible dream, sure.  But it was just a dream.  Because Jasper is still here.  Being his goofy, lovable self.  And he'll get to see him on the weekend!  

So maybe he hasn't quite gotten over it as he'd hoped.  But... that's okay, in a sense.  He's not dealing with it by himself.

He never was.

He plugs his phone back in to charge and sighs as the time flashes up at him.

Well, two hours of sleep isn't so bad!

As he curls up on his bed, avoiding the damp parts of it in favor of the drier parts, he thinks he'll take a note from Jasper's methods.

And for those two hours.

He'll just have sweet dreams of Jasper.

[brandimolitor]

The Desire to be Noticed

As a kid growing up in a low-income, abusive and addict-based household, I escaped the pain I felt by fantasizing about another life. Being a child of the 80’s, cable TV and magazines promoted the latest celebrities and their wealth. Our society was propped up by shows like the “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,” “Dallas” and “Silver Spoons” as examples of how the world operated in success. MTV launched, fetishizing music icons with their extravagant lifestyles of freedom that came with their success and fame. I internalized this culture and rather than committing to marrying Sabastien Bach, I wanted to BE Belinda Carlisle which then moved to Gwen Stefani… someone who embodied edge and boldness. THAT, I thought, was IT. Coming from a family who couldn’t afford Christmas or trips my friends all took with their families, I believed money was the cure for feeling happy, loved and validated, and the only way to get money was through being important and known. I had to make and do something big. That was the only way.

Of course I never did anything that would bring me fame. I never sought after those types or careers, but there was a constant nagging that I had to BE SOMETHING IMPORTANT (….to the outside world).

I spent hours a day sketching “giant” houses I dreamed of living in one day. At the time, that included a house with more than one floor, a wrap-around porch and a long driveway. I wanted trees in the front. Eventually I thought I’d be an architect, until during high school I job shadowed with one and he told me to not follow through on that. He said “unless you land some big designs in big cities, you end up designing strip malls and struggling for the next job.” I threw my arms up in the air and decided no to architecture.

I realized I loved the Earth and animals, so I became committed to saving the environment through law after seeing a few big lawyer movies where the lawyer was the hero. There! I can be famous and make a huge impact AND be a savior. Until another internship where the environmental attorney said I’d be mostly working for the “bad guys” and paper pushing.

I searched and searched for meaning, often on my own, without input from anyone other than media and the occasional random adult who scratched my dreams.

These desires followed me well into adulthood, without me really knowing. They etched their way into my subconscious while I meandered through life following passions and curiosities, trying to find purpose with integrity. I attracted partners in life who also wanted to be noticed and recognized and have some level of fame, only adding to the belief I was a nobody unless I was a somebody. I constantly struggled with finding peace with my introversion and not wanting to be the center of anything.

With the onslaught of reality television, social media and “influencers” everywhere, my beliefs firmly rooted that I still didn’t have any impact on anyone and my dreams were failing, came rushing back. I compared and despaired, wondering how I suffered so much in life and still didn’t pay enough dues to get my break, while most seemed to of just gotten “lucky.” I enmeshed happiness and love with attention, recognition, admiration and money. I believed you couldn’t have one without the other. These beliefs were driving me and my incessant feeling of never being enough. I claimed I was ambitious and high achieving, but what I was really doing was still running from the pain of my childhood.

When I started to share about this, I learned I wasn’t the only one who had this running my mind… and we all know notoriety and money do not equal joy and love. :)

I slowly started to accept life and my place in it. I learned my self-esteem was being dictated by the outside world and to turn my attention inward and to create a life that felt good to me and not what other’s think about me or what I think they think about me. The process and release was really confusing and disorienting at first. I also grieved the loss of my manufactured identity. It took a whole lotta courage and a whole lotta trust and a whole lotta help. And, it’s still a work in progress.

My mission now is to leave the world better than I found it, bit by bit, sometimes in bigger gestures than others, and committing to a life and lifestyle of healing. Turns out, we’re all influencers; to the people we surround ourselves with, the cashier, the barista, the person we pass on the hiking trail, the animals we have in our lives, the earth we inhabit, the way we vote. When we lead a life of intention and source it from love, the impact is profound. If we are being influenced and influencing others by what the outside world is telling us is right or wrong based off of a capitalistic, patriarchal, privileged culture, we aren’t influencers at all. We’re merely followers.

Where do you see the need to get validation and the need to be noticed? What’s driving it? Is there a chronic push that enough is never enough and there’s a boogie man in your closet telling you you’ll never be anything if you don’t become what you once believed to be true? The driving story doesn’t have to be one of being raised in a traumatic environment, it could be parents who put a lot of pressure on you, siblings who you were told were better than you or prettier than you, a teacher who scolded you and said you weren’t good enough, a partner who decided to leave the relationship for “someone better.” The narratives we often hold in our minds we don’t even realize are there. Like I often say, these patterns and default narratives can be to us like a fish is to water, where we’re completely submerged in them, it feels like home.

One of my best investments in life was bringing others into my life to bring attention to these on-going narratives. Once released, I’m able to create peace and alignment. When we change the story, the doors to freedom start to open.

Hit me up for a chat.

[pets-beaty]

via How Webs | Information | Technology | Education | Entertainment | SEO | Lifestyle

8 Yoga Tips With Poses for Beginners | Yoga Poses

Yoga Poses | There are many good reasons to add yoga to your training routine. Yoga improves muscle tone, flexibility and balance, and it helps you relax and reduce stress, thanks to the characteristic pranayama breathing (which simply means you constantly breathe in and exhale through your nose). Some studies have even shown that yoga can reduce the symptoms of depression, anxiety and chronic pain better than traditional therapy alone.

Ready to try? Here, eight beginner positions - called "asanas" - are recommended by yoga teachers.

1 Easy Cross Leg (Sukhasana) for Stress Relief

Yoga Poses | Sit cross-legged on a yoga mat with your hand on your knees, with the palms facing up. Keep your spine as straight as possible. Push the bones you are sitting on down into the floor - your "sitbones" in yoga speaking. Close your eyes and inhale. "This is a great pose for beginners to use as a review," says Gwen Lawrence, yoga coach for the New York Giants and other sports teams and celebrities. "Just sitting on the floor gives you a perfect way to see and feel the external rotation on the legs." This posture also increases back flexibility and can help to relieve stress.

2 Cat-Cow Tip posing for back pain

Yoga Poses | Sit on your hands and feet with your hands directly under your shoulders and your knees directly under your hips. Divide your weight evenly over your hands and spread your fingers wide. Breathe in and around your back as you bend it up as you lower your chin to your chest; feel the stretching of your neck to your tailbone, like a cat. As you exhale, lower your back down to a scoop shape as you lift your head and tilt backwards. "Repeat a few times to loosen your spine and open your chest," says Susie Lopez, a New York yoga and wellness educator.

3 Tree Pose for balance

Yoga Poses | Start by standing upright in front of this posture. Put your hands together in the prayer position and lift them over your head. Balance your right leg. Bend your left knee to the left and press your left foot onto the inner thigh of your right leg. Hold for 30 seconds. Switch legs and repeat. "This posture helps the body stretch for a long time, from the heels to the tips of your fingers," says fitness trainer and wellness coach Shea Vaughn, author of Breakthrough: the 5 principles of life to defeat stress, to look good and to find Total Well . Being (and mother of actor Vince Vaughn). It will also help you to improve your balance and flexibility.

4 Downward Dog for Flexibility

Yoga Poses | Your body forms an inverted V shape in the downward facing dog. Start by placing both hands on the mat in front of you, with the palms facing down. Your hands must be something for your shoulders. Place your knees on the floor directly under your hips. Breathe out as you lift your knees from the floor and lift your buttocks and hips to the ceiling. Push the top of your thighs backwards and stretch your heels down towards the floor. Keep your head between your upper arms and in line with them, not hanging down. Look at your belly. "The most important thing is to create a long straight back," says Lopez. Hold the position for 5 to 10 breaths and try to deepen your stretching with each exhalation.

5 Child's Pose for Relaxation

Yoga Poses | This is one of the most healing of all yoga postures, says Lopez, reminiscent of the fetal position. When you feel overwhelmed or tired, you relax in the child's posture, she says. From a downward facing dog, simply bend your knees and lower your butt on your heels as you bring your chest to the floor over your knees. Lower your shoulders and go to the ground. Place your arms along your body, palms up, or you can support your head by folding your arms under your forehead. Breathe and relax as long as necessary. This pose is also good for stretching your back, says Jane Foody, New York area instructor, yoga teacher trainer and author of Guided Relaxation and Savasana scripts for yoga teachers.

6 Baby pigeon posing for hip flexibility

Yoga Poses | From hands and feet, move your right knee forward between your hands. As if you are performing a breakdown, slowly make your left leg straight behind you and hold the knee and the top of the foot on the floor. Now turn the right knee to the right wrist and lower it to the floor with your right calf flat on the floor and your right foot resting under your left groin. Lower your upper body over the bent leg, all the way to the ground or resting on your elbows. Breathe in slowly and exhale five times. Before you change sides, push your left leg back to stretch the calf muscles. Repeat with bent left leg and right leg stretched. This pose is a favorite for runners because it increases hip flexibility and also releases the buttocks and low back, says Lawrence. "If you run, lift, cross or turn, you have to do this to stay strong and flexible and improve your performance." It may be a challenge in the beginning, but you will learn to love this pose, Lawrence promises.

7 Standing Mountain Pose for relaxation

Yoga Poses | This pose is pure simplicity, says Lawrence. Stand still, with your chest open and wide and your hands beside you, and feel your feet on the floor and the sensations in your legs and back. Then analyze your posture for a mirror. Lawrence lets her athletes hold long pencils in each hand as they stand. "I say they have to look at the pencils and, like a compass, see how they point, are they the same, aim one point straight and the other one at three on the clock?" This pose will show if you have imbalances in your shoulders and give you instructions on what to work on. If a pencil is turned in a lot, your shoulder is like that too.

8 Legs Up the Wall (Viparita Karani) for restoration

Yoga Poses | This is a great end pose for beginners and people who have experience with yoga. Lie down on the floor with your ass straight against a wall. "Walk" your legs straight up, so that your body is in an L-shape with your torso flat on the floor and perpendicular to the wall. You may want to place a rolled up blanket under your lower back for support; keep your elbows on the sides on the floor for extra support. Bend the toes to feel a stretch in the backs of your legs. Breathe deeply and hold the position as long as you want. To free yourself, bring your knees to your chest and roll to your side. Advantage of this yoga pill: it revitalizes tired legs and brings renewed vigor in your step, says Lawrence.

8 Yoga Tips With Poses for Beginners | Yoga Poses

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[bitsandbobsofwriting]

What kind of drunk are they? I.e the oversharer, the cuddler, the one who falls asleep, the one that gets into shenanigans….

(Headcanon Masterlist) (Full Masterlist)

This... is incredible, anon, I love you. I'm so surprised I haven't thought about this before THANK YOU!!

Merlin, in the early days, is a giggler. He gets really dopey and smiley and even more clumsy, which people find either super endearing or really annoying, there is no in between. Later on, after his life has gotten significantly shittier and he's always tired and is basically suffering from chronic pain at this point, he's a quiet, withdrawn drunk. He just can't stop thinking about things that make him miserable, and his friends definitely pick up on that and like... don't know what to do about it. Because it's so different to how he normally is. He doesn't drink often at all, but the gang always gets this weird feeling that... this is what Merlin's hiding: how miserable (for unknown reasons) he is. He sometimes makes really vague comments about rather horrifying things, but nothing specific, and nothing that The Gang could use to figure out what exactly is wrong with him: “We’re all a little terrified of fire, aren’t we?” and “Sort of hoping I’ll be drunk enough to actually be able to rest tonight,” and “Snapping a neck isn’t that hard, as long as you get the angle right,” and “Tomorrow’s hangover is going to be worse than last month’s bout of torture, god damn,”. Things that would be really unnerving to hear from anyone, let alone Merlin.

I think it depends who Arthur is with. If he's just getting tipsy with other Nobles or whatever at a banquet, he is always at least partly in control, and everything is carefully measured to make him appear drunker than he is. Once he learns to trust his friends and he actually lets loose, he's a cuddler. Or maybe not an outright cuddler (with anyone except Merlin and Leon anyway) but he does lose all meaning of personal space. You can gauge how drunk Arthur is by how much he's touching another person. Sat shoulder to shoulder with Elyan? He's had a drink or two to relax but is basically sober. Plopped himself down in Gwaine's lap without seeing any problem with this? He's pissed. He gets cold easily, is always his excuse when drunk, and he has, on multiple occasions, made Merlin sleep in his bed with him for the body heat (literally just for he body heat. Merlin is warm and soft to lay on and that’s all drunk Arthur cares about).

Morgana gets flushed in the face and is a little giggly, loses her sharp tongue, but otherwise manages to stay very well put together, considering. Arthur likes it because she loses the darkness in her eyes and she doesn't look quite so exhausted; though he doesn't encourages her to drink too often, because he knows what that looks like, and he doesn't want her to have to rely on it to be able to sleep peacefully. Morgana is like... semi-aware of this, but chooses not to give it too much thought. Sometimes she’ll get this distant look in her eye, but she’s easily distracted, especially if Merlin or Gwen are there (for very different reasons, Merlin understands her, and Gwen is... Gwen).

Elyan gets sleepy. He's a sleepy drunk. He naps, BUT, he naps anywhere and everywhere. They're in a tavern? Under the table. They're all piled into Arthur's chambers? In front of the fire, or, if he's drunk enough, Arthur's bed. The woods? If it's dry, the floor, he doesn't care, if it's wet, then someone's lap. He'll just... pass out every so often for half an hour at most, wake up ready to party for a little while, and then sleep some more. He has the fewest and least severe hangovers because he always gets enough sleep and the whole thing is like.. a built-in way to pace himself.

Leon doesn't change much, but he does visibly relax as the night goes on. Compliments and affection will start coming even easier than they normally do, and though sometimes he's a little quiet, it's because he's sleepy and happy and warm and soft, not sad. His protectiveness shows through a little, and he'll often find himself sat with Merlin, holding his hand or with an arm round his shoulder; he likes to feel the younger man close, either because he's so young and naïve and innocent, or because something in his friend is broken and scared and angry and hurt, and he wants to be there for him, even if his drunk mind doesn't really understand that.

Percival is a rambler. He's not much of a talker when he's sober, he's a quiet and reserved man, happy to let his smile (or his stature, depending on who he's interacting with) do the talking for him. But when he's drunk that goes out the window, he just.... talks. And talks and talks.

Gwaine sits there all moony eyed and stares at Percival whilst he speaks, if he's with friends. If he's on his own, it's a different story. He's boisterous and flirty and the life of the party, but will also throw a punch given the slightest provocation, as we all know. I could go into the detailed angsty reasoning behind that (he's secretly a rather angry man and semi-enjoys being hurt because in some fucked up way it makes him feel alive) but... we don't need to. If they drink in public, he’s a mix of the two. He’ll spend most of his time focused on Percival or Merlin (again, for very different reasons), but he’ll also throw a flirty comment at the barmaid/barman, and will still throw a punch if his drunk mind deems it necessary.

Mordred doesn't drink. He is baby. Or at least the others stop him drinking (except Gwaine, he encourages it) more than a pint or two, but that's still enough for him to get pissed. Baby boy's tolerance is in the fucking basement, put him in a tavern and the fumes alone could have him tipsy. He’s just... giggly and flushed and childish, but also pouty if anyone points this out.

Gwen is giggly and a little spacey, but also cares way less about like... propriety. She has told Arthur to "fuck off princess I don't need your damn coddling" when he started being all... Noble about walking her home or something, and she DOES join in on Gwaine's fights, if he gets pulled into any, and she CAN throw one hell of a right hook. Gwaine and Gwen are such a chaotic duo when drunk and they are officially banned from drinking together unless they have someone else with them. If she remembers (she always does tbh, her drunk memory is incredible) she's always mortified the next morning.

Lancelot is the Mum Friend Supreme!! Doesn't matter how drunk he is, he has pain tonics and hair ties and bandages and skins of water on him at all times. Gwaine literally starts calling him Ma when he’s drunk because if you need something... Lance is almost certain to have it. He once went to the tavern early and stored a pillow in one of the cupboards behind the bar and pulled it out when Elyan started getting sleepy. When actually drunk, he is still the Mum Friend Supreme, but he’s also an odd mix of super fretful, and super laid back, and he’ll switch between the two at the drop of a hat. Without warning.

Gaius doesn't drink very often at all, but if it's insisted on he maybe gets a little spacey? He's just a little slow on the mental uptake, but is otherwise a perfectly functioning adult. Though he is always the first to somehow disappear and get away when someone (Gwaine and Gwen) gets them into trouble.

~

Hope y'all enjoyed that!!!😁 Keep 'em coming!!

[deeeelightfuldee]

What made you happy in the last 24 hours? hmm. uhhh getting to hear voicemails was great for the most part. ummmm whats really weird is not much. i’m almost always a long list full of why im happy but it wasn’t a particularly good 24 hours.

What was the last book you read? I never recall names of books.

What was the most fun thing you did in the last 24 hours? sleep. or this right now, surveys while under a mound of blankets and a good show on. 

Have you done anything adventurous lately? i went out in 7 degree weather to run errands for the family that i def. wasn’t feeling up to. Had to sit in the car for 28 minutes waiting for it to warm up cus we dont have remote start and mom lost the 2nd key. then each of my errands required the use of the window, which OF COURSE was frozen and wouldn’t go down. so I had to get out and coax the window to work. it was a bit of an adventure start to finish

What was the last thing you regretted doing (or not doing)? uhhh probably not taking a lactaid when i should have a few days ago.

What was the most delicious food you ate in the last 24 hours? the freakin food K sent me last night was BOMB. 

Do you like the way your hair looks right now? it looks horrible but its under my hat and its also in a braid so its wuteva. 

Do you think it rains too much where you live? I wish it rained more. 

What color is your laptop? silver

Is your computer slow? Is it having problems? It’s not slow at all. i freakin’ love this laptop its by far one of my favorite presents i’ve ever been given.

Do you worry a lot, or do you live carefree? I am a very low-worrier naturally. 

Do you have a Bible that’s falling apart? haha yes. its very worn -- which makes me happy. 

What did the last pair of earrings you wore look like? big gold hoops.

What is the next fun thing you are planning to do? uhhh probably going out on a date.

Do you suffer from chronic pain? oh yes. lupus & chronic fatigue syndrome

What was the last thing you did outside? I had to run errands for mom and gram in this bitter cold

Do you need to clean your room? just my dresser. i seriously don’t feel well and its driving me nuts that its covered. I just wanna have someone come help me where i can be like hi can you put this here, and that there.

Have you ever read the Bible all the way through? yep yep

What color is your laptop? silverrrrr why are we repeating this

Do you collect mason jars? i do not. not my thing.

What was the last thing you decorated? the house. Gotta tear it all down but thats an overwhelming thought physically.

What’s on your floor? my humidifer... a box of thread i’m organizing.

What was the last piece of candy you ate? m&m’s. I asked mom to buy me chocolate last time she went to the store and she forgot :(

Are you wearing shorts right now? no surprisingly.

Who was your first best friend? either brittany or nea&gwen

Who was/is your last or current best friend? em

Do you have a best friend currently? yea

Are you lonely? i am a little bit. thats kinda crazy of me cus theres no need for that. but i guess i am.

Have you spent most of your life lonely? no.

Did you answer your phone in the last 24 hours? ummmmmmm nope. i ignored a couple calls.

What’s your favorite magazine to read? hmmmm. i miss almost all magazines. 

What color is the sky right now? I imagine dark.

Do you like the name Skye? i automatically think of paw patrol

Do you want to have kids? I do want to.

When was the last time you ate taffy? gosh a long time. not my thing. 

Name three toppings you like on a salad. bacon. egg. cruton.

Do you like pineapple? yup

Would you rather visit Asia or Europe? europe

Do you know anyone who travels all the time? yes

Do you think it’s selfish to travel all the time, when most people can’t? uh? no. i dont think its selfish.

Would you ever consider studying abroad? i almost did! I was given an invitation to study at oxford. 

What was the last thing you ate? uhhh a couple chips.

Are you happy with your life right now? in a lot of respects.

What color was your first phone? black & orange

Do you remember your high school locker combination? i was homeschooled. no locker for me.

If you’re a youtuber, list three companies you’d like to sponsor you. I’m not. but ID LOVE to be sponsored by a food company like hello kitchen or w/e, makeup company of some sort, and clothing company like old navy lol.

Do you miss someone? i really do.

If applicable, how long did it take you to grieve the loss of your best friend? ill let you know when i figure it out.

Do you wear flip-flops? oh heck yea in the summer.

Which do you like better: cacti, palm trees, or maple trees? oooo. i love palms but i think maples win.

What type of tree do you see most of where you live? maples, elm, ash, walnut, oak

Have you ever seen fireflies? of course

Can you see the moon from your bedroom window? not yet