#Got em in a charity shop

[imogren]

thoughts on my earrings, guys?

[asherbakugou]

When You First Meet

Jiang Kai | Kai Kalama

Reader rushed around the room with the other designers, placing the models clothes in their respective dressing rooms as they prepared for them to arrive. They hadn't yet been informed of their models so the room was filled with a nervous energy.

"So, who do ya think you're gonna get?" Alyssa asked, wiggling her brows teasingly.

"How am I supposed to know?" Reader retorted, bumping their hips together. Alyssa looked around conspiratorially, leaning in closer as Reader continued organizing her models chosen clothes.

"Well, from what I've heard–"

"Overheard, you mean."

"Hush. From what I've heard one of the ninja are coming to model for the company, to help raise money for that Charity you like so much."

"The Charity for Rebuilding?"

"Yeah, that one."

Before Reader could ask if she'd heard anything else they were called together.

"Alright! Listen up! Here is the list of designers and who your model is," Directin Lin announced, holding up said sheet. Alyssa leanes forward eagerly as Reader snickered at her friends eagerness. As the youngest designers it was doubtful either of them would get the higher ranking models.

Everyone surged forward to look at the paper but Alyssa and Reader held back for a moment. They both noticed how people kept glaring back at them for some reason but . . .

Shrugging it off they finally got a chance to see the list. And right beside Readers name was Kai Kalama, the Fire Ninja.

Freezing, both her and Alyssa just stared at the name. "I knew I had an effect on the ladies, but I never realized just how bad it was."

Whirling around they found Kai standing behind behind them with a smug look. And that was all it took for Reader to know how the rest of the day was going to go.

The entire session was filled with flirts and compliments that made her cheeks darken even when they didn't give him an actual response. Kai was not one to give up, but they liked his charm and hoped she'd get to see him model again.

Zane Julien

Reader sat in the shade of one of the large trees of the park, leaning back against its trunk as she sketched a rough outline of the beautiful fountain just across the way. Humming to herself she finished up for the day before carefully putting her sketchbook in her bag.

Done for the day, Reader wondered if they should have brought the car since she needed to go grocery shopping soon. As her mind wandered, she did not realize someone was heading right for her until she was slammed into and her bag ripped from her hands.

"Hey!" Reader shrieked, stumbling for a second before taking off after him. "Get back here!"

The man outpaced her but she didn't stop, her sketchbook was far too expensive for her to stop. Ice suddenly formed on the grass, and the man lost his balance tripping over his own feet and faceplanting into the ground, much to Reader's delight and shock.

Stopping before the ice, she doubled over as a stitch tugged painfully at her ribs. Another man, her age wearing a sweatervest surprisingly, came and retrieved her bag to hand to her.

"Are you alright, miss?"

"Umm, yes, thank you . . ." Reader trailed off, unsure of his name. She recognized him as one of the ninja but she'd never had any reason to remember their names.

"Zane, the White Ninja."

"Oh, well then thank you, Mr. White Ninja," Reader thanked, swinging her bag up onto her shoulder.

"I shall take him into custody and inform the police of his attempted crime. I do not believe it shall require your attention," Zane stated, turning to do so. "I hope the rest of your day is well."

"Uhh, yeah, I hope you have a good day as well," Reader said, taking a step away as Zane went to sling the man over his shoulder.

'Damn, love to watch 'em walk away,' Reader thought, before shaking her head. 'Oh my dragon, what am I thinking? That is so rude of me!'

Reader rushed away before she could become even more mortified by her thoughts, quietly hoping to see the very handsome man again one day.

Cole Brookstone

Reader smiled at the group who had just walked into their store, nodding for Miya to take their orders. The new hire gave them an anxious look, but they were not deterred. The best way to learn was through experience and this was a good start for her.

"Hello, welcome to Fairy Tale's Cakes and Stories, how can I help you?" Miya chirped, smiling through her nerves.

The group of teens was a little rowdy, but they didn't cause any trouble even when they spoke over each other, causing Miya to falter. Once she had finished up their order, the group of seven dispersed and Miya hurried back over to Reader's side.

"How did I do?"

"Really well, Miya. By next week you should be able to man the register without any issue, I just want to make sure you know how to handle any problematic customers," Reader stated, having seen Miya's face drop a little.

"Okay, thank you for this!"

"Of course. Now, why don't you go clean up some of the tables, I'll take the register till you're done."

A customer had walked in while they spoke, a young man on his own who was eagerly looking at the cake display case.

"Hello, welcome to Fairy Tale's Cakes and Stories, how can I help you?"

"Oh, uhh, what's in the Grimm Cake?"

"Its a milk chocolate base, dark chocolate glaze, orange zest buttercream, and a book made of chocolate and filled with orange cream," Reader explained, watching as the man practically salivated at the thought.

"I'll take a whole one!"

"A whole cake?" Reader asked, surprised. Most people only wanted a slice.

"Yes, please!"

"Coming right up."

When he was still there, over an hour later, Miya wondered over to Readers side.

"Is he going to sit there and eat an entire cake?"

"If thats what he wants to do," Reader answered, focused on the grocery list they were working out. The man came up to the counter where Reader was working so they paused in their writing, offering a smile. "How can I help you?"

"I just wanted to come up and say that that was really good! I don't think I've ever had a cake so good! I'll definitely be coming back!" Waving, the man headed back out the door with a bounce in his step.

"Holy shit," Miya whispered, jaw on the floor.

"Miya," Reader warned.

"Did you not recognize him? That was Cole, the Earth Ninja. One of the saviors of Ninjago."

Reader paused in their writing. They had not recognized Cole but they knew of him and his team.

"So, I just had one of the ninja in my shop?"

"Yes!"

"Huh."

They hoped he visited again, and not just because a ninja buying their cakes would boost business.

Jay Walker

Reader was heavily focused on the project Nya had shared with her, working to rebuild this engine piece for one of the ninja's vehicles. She heard Aaron talking to someone, leading them through the garage, but she ignored them for the moment.

"And this is Reader, I believe she was the one you were looking for?" Aaron asked, stopping just before her station, making her pause.

"Yep, thank you!"

Nodding, Aaron left, leaving Reader and the strange man alone. "So, is there something you need me specifically for?"

"Oh, uh, well, heh, Nya actually sent me," He said, smiling awkwardly.

"Nya did? So then you're one of the ninja," Reader realized. He lit up, striking a pose.

"The Lightning Ninja, at your service!" Jay announced proudly, making Reader giggle though she tried to hide it.

"Well then Mr. Lightning Ninja, what did Ninja send you up here for?"

"Oh, she wanted me to check up on the engine for Lloyd's new bike."

"Oh, yeah. I told I'd probably have it done by today, but I ended up having to help with some rich guys car." Reader shook her head at the memory of the rich asshole.

"She said she gave you free reign?"

"Yep. All she wanted was a fast engine for a bike, my specialty." Reader winked making Jay giggle as he went a little red. A good hour passed with them discussing the different engine choices and Jay happily lending a hand.

When he left, Reader couldn't help but miss his presence already. Very few people shared her passion, work ethic, and sense of humor, so Jay was, in her mind, a godsend. She hoped he'd come back one day so they could continue their converaation.

Lloyd Garmadon

Reader was hiding behind one of the numerous sheleves of comics as they put the comics back in their place. She'd noticed Ryker walking in the door and had hurried away to stock the sholves with the new comics.

For the past two weeks Ryker had been stalking them at her job, waiting for her to get off with the excuse that he wanted to walk them home. It was creepy and gross, and Reader wanted nothing to do with him.

"Hey Reader," Ryker said, having found them while they sorted through the massive amount of Starfarers comics to place on the shelves.

"Ryker, I'm working."

"I just wanted to say hi. You've been ignoring me, and leaving at different times. I haven't been able to walk you home," Ryker complained, his greasy voice sending shivers down her spine.

"I don't need you to walk me home, I'm just fine on my own," Reader snapped, feeling a bit like a chihuahua barking at a rottweiler.

"Oh come on, Reader." Ryker stepped closer, boxing them in, and making her heart rate pick up. "Just give me a chance. Just one date."

"I already told you, no. I'm not going on a date with you," Reader said, trying to sound stronger than she felt.

Rykers face twisted into something ugly, hand reaching out to grab them by the waist. "Really, is that really how you're going to be? A nice guys asks you out and you're gonna be a bitch!"

"Hey!" Someone grabbed Rykers wrist, the one attached to the hand squeezing Readers hip uncomfortably tight, and easily pulled him off. Now, Ryker isn't a small man, nearly 5'11 and 200lbs but the one who'd tugged him off was easily the same height but seemingly thinner. "When someone tells you to back off, you back off."

"Who the fuck are you?!" Ryker demanded, trying to tug his wrist away.

"Lloyd Garmadon, the Green Ninja."

Reader couldn't help the hot flush that spread across her face at the realization of who this was. While her personal favorite ninja had always been Jay, she liked his jokes and attitude, she did admire the Green Ninja. Ryker, on the other hand, seemed to lose all his coloring.

"That-why-what?! Why would a ninja give two shits about some ugly bitch?!"

Reader immediatley lashed out, slapping Ryker with an open palm. She felt a bit more confident with the Green Ninja right there, because what could Ryker do to them with him here. "Don't you ever call me a bitch again!"

Lloyd was a little startled, but he forced himself to not smile at the red mark slreading across his face. "Beat it. If I see you hanging around again, I'll knock you on your ass."

Snarling, Ryker retreated, a coward down to his bones.

"Thank you, for the rescue."

"Oh uh, it was no problem. Always happy to help a pretty girl in need of help." Lloyd froze, mortified by what had just slipped from his mouth. "Oh, FSM! I'm so sorry, that was–"

Reader giggled, holding a hand over their mouth to hide her smile. "No, no. It's ok. A compliment from the powerful Green Ninja. Lucky me."

A shout from the door had Lloyd wincing.

"Sorry, um, my team needs me . . ."

Smiling, Reader stepped forward to press a kiss to his cheek. "Well then you best get going, my hero." Giggling to themself, Reader sauntered away with the box of comics in hand.

Lloyd watched them walk away, bright red, jaw nearly on the floor.

Morro

Reader trembled violently as she and the other workers were lined up in front of the customer by the robber. He had barged in less than five minutes ago, an hour before they opened, barking out orders as he aimed a gun at them, with four others coming in behind him.

While Jason, the baker, might have had a chance at fighting one of them off, the rest of the morning crew couldn't. Reader could feel the tears pooling in her eyes before there was the loud crash of glass shattering as three of the ninja dove inside.

The Black, Blue, and Red ninja had broken through the front window and were taking out the first three robbers while the other two robbers reached out for hostages. Reader cried out as she was violently grabbed by her hair, just like Anya was. Both girls cried out, trying to pull away until the cold steel was pressed against their jaws.

"Please, please," Anya begged, tears pouring down her face as she sobbed. She had only been hired a week ago as a cashier, and now she was being held hostage by robbers.

Two figures came out from the shadows, the Green and Grey ninja.

"Hey, let's talk this out," Green began, holding out his hands, palm up. "You don't have to do this. Just let the girls go, and put the guns down."

"Why the hell would I listen to you!" The robber holding Reader shouted, yanking violently and ripping out some of her hair, making her shriek in pain.

"Let us go!" Anya screamed, and in a moment of brilliant, stupid bravery, she slammed a heel down on her robbers foot, and an elbow into his nose.

"Hey, wait!" Green shouted, lurching forward as Grey tensed.

"You little bitch!!" A gunshot rang out and blood splattered across Readers face, making her scream in terror.

Green lunged for the killer as Grey went for Reader. In a practiced move, he seperated them knocking the gun from the robbers hand before kicking him into one of the other ninja grasp.

Reader collapsed, no longer held up by her hair, and too afraid to stay standing. While she hadn't known Anya very well, the girl had been friendly and Reader had hoped they could be good friends but now . . . Anya would never experience anything ever again.

Sobbing into her hands, she didn't notice when the Grey ninja crouched down at her side awkwardly. "Hey, are you injured?" His voice was gruff, sharp, but Reader didn't seem to hear him, too shocked to take anything in.

Scowling behind the mask, Grey leaned forward. "Hey." Without raising his voice he managed to grab her attention. "Are you injured?"

Reader gasped for breath, scrubbing her tears away as she tried to focus. "My-uhm, my scalp. It hurts."

"Okay. Any other pain?"

"N-no."

Nodding, Grey reached out and easily lifted her to feet, startling her. Unable to stand she just collapsed against him, making him go stiff. "The-the ambulance is gonna be here in a minute to get you taken care of, alright."

"Okay." Reader was thankful when Grey didn't move, simply keeping his hands on her shoulders so she didn't slump back down to the floor. "Thank you. For saving me."

"Its what ninja do."

Once the ambulance arrived, Reader was escorted by the Grey ninja to be checked out. Tugging off his mask, he spoke in low tones to the EMT, before helping get Reader onto the ambulance.

As she was laying back on the bed, a small part of her hoped to see the nice ninja again one day. Even if she didn't know his name.

A/n: Can you tell who my favorite charactors are?

[rowanix-cos]

Trucy Wright and Mr Hat ~ Ace Attorney

Finally got round to editing some pics that were taken way back in March (oops). Trucy is such a favourite of mine, as is Mr Hat, and they were such a joy to cosplay (though I did keep spooking people at con who thought Mr Hat was a real person hovering over my shoulder 🙃)

I made pretty much everything myself, and I am so proud of it all! (Details below the cut, feel free to skip)

Mr Hat is made from 2 cylinders of eva foam with PVC piping (plus lots of nuts and bolts) for support. And that's not editing! There is nothing supporting him from underneath, and he is hands-free to carry around; he is attached to me at the waist via 2 belts that thread through openings I made in the side seams of my dress. All the wood detailing was engraved in with a dremel before he was painted, and I drafted patterns to sew up his cape and shirt. Similarly, his hat is also made from eva foam and covered with the same fabric I used for the cape. The hat fits me too, just only when I have my Trucy wig on or else it's much too big :') His head is also on a hinge so his mouth can open and close. He's basically a big puppet!

Some notes: There are magnets in the hat and gloves to hold his hand in place as well as magnets in his jaw to hold his head close but unfortunately I didnt use strong enough magnets and my lovely Apollo (pictured) had to keep fixing him. His head also started drooping towards the end of the day (this is why I always test my cosplays before entering any competitions!) and I'm struggling to think of a better way to stablise it - if anyone has any tips, please let me know!

In any case, I am so so proud of him! Now onto Trucy...

I've cosplayed Trucy before, but I updated her a bit to go with Mr Hat. I sewed up a new cape (used the old one to make Mr Hat's) and used some glittery iron-on vinyl for the patterns on the diamonds, and added bells so I jingle when I move around!

The dress I found in a charity shop but it initally was a lot longer and much too big for me, so I took it in and up and added the adjustable side-openings + padding on the inside to hide the bumps the belts would make. I made the buttons + the earring from Polymer clay, and the broach with a polymer clay encasing and a resin jewel (which i had to make a mold for. They don't sell em that big)

The bag I also found but sewed fabric over the top to make it look more like Trucy's + added the belt. The neckscarf and Mr Hat's bowtie I completely winged. I stuffed them both plus part of the globes to give everything that cartoonish shape.

I think that's everything. Let me know if you have any questions!

[our-trans-punk-experience]

So, I've got a question:

Is it anti-punk to wear other laced boots? I don't wanna buy 200 USD boots from a company, which I'm sure is rich and doesn't donate a lot, and risk them being chewed up by my dog (he's a husky). So, basically, my question is

if I wear boots that aren't Doc Martens but still ladder lace, is it wrong in the Punk scene?

No! Go for it! Provided you mean like, buying boots from a charity shop or just some other nice boots, and not. Shein. Cursed be it's name. If it's not built on sweatshop labour then lace em up

[midwestmade29]

Highest Bidder 💸

I wrote this one because I'm missing a certain cowboy and I'm anxiously awaiting his return 🥺 I am considering writing a continuation, but I'd love to know what you guys think! If you'd like more with this story, please let me know 🖤

Word count: 1.9k Divider by: @firefly-graphics GIF credit: @lonelyvampx

Disclaimers: None! Pure fiction, pure fluff! 🙂

This story is written from the POV of Hangman Adam Page 🤠

When Hangman's original arrangement changes, it ends up working out for the better...

I’m not totally sure how I let the chairman of the AEW charity foundation talk me into doing this, but here I am. Pacing back and forth behind the curtain waiting for the emcee to call us all out on stage, trying to down my glass of whiskey in hopes it’ll calm my nerves. When they first asked me to be a part of this live charity auction, I laughed in their face before realizing they were serious. 

“All you have to do is show up, look handsome and stand on stage while we auction off a one-time date night with you. All the money will go to our foundation. Come on Page, one night with some young lady in exchange for money for charity! Please say you’ll do it,”

Loud applause and high-pitched whistling brought me out of my thoughts, a voice speaking entirely too loudly blasting through the speakers as they introduced the auction.

“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Our live auction! Trust me, you’re not going to want to miss the lineup we have for you all tonight. Let’s bring em’ out,”

All 13 of us walked on stage in a single file line, every pair of eyes from the audience on us as we took our seats. I had been given the number 7, so there were 6 others ahead of me which meant I had to sit and be patient until it was my turn to get this over with. 

Each of the guys before me were getting decent bids from pretty nice-looking ladies. That is, everyone except for Austin Gunn. Poor sap ended up with a 70 something year old lady on his arm! She did seem spunky and fun despite her age. There were still a couple of guys ahead of me when my mind started to drift onto other things like whiskey and where I could get some. I must’ve zoned out longer than I thought when I heard the emcee make a joke at my expense.

“Well, it would appear that our cowboy is a little hard of hearing, but don’t let that stop you from bidding!” he teased. Seriously, where did they find this guy? “Come on up lucky number 7 and introduce yourself to everyone,”

I begrudgingly put one boot in front of the other until I was at the end of the catwalk standing next to the jackass emcee. I gave him a glare before taking the microphone from him and turning on my charm. 

“Good evening, everyone,” I greeted into the microphone.

A wave of flirty giggles and whispers went through the crowd before I continued my introduction.

“I’m Hangman Adam Page. An anxious millennial cowboy that likes whiskey and horses. I can’t do a cartwheel for shit, and I once tried to buy an upside-down frozen yogurt shop. Please be kind with your bids, remember this is all for charity,” 

All eyes were on me as some waited on the auctioneer to start and others trying to figure out if what I just said was true or not. The ones that really know anything about me got the joke.

The auctioneer started the opening bid at $50 causing the entire room to hold up their auction paddles. My eyes grew large as he continued raising the amount, more than half the room was still bidding even when he got up to $1,000. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but so far, I’m bringing in the biggest amount of the evening.

When the auctioneer slammed his gavel down, a date night with me had officially been sold for $1,300! I was handed a rose to give to the winner after they walked up on stage. Loud applause roared through the room as a tall blonde woman walked up the steps and embraced me tightly, making me stumble backwards a little from the sudden impact.

She held me close for entirely too long, whispering in my ear, “Hi cowboy, it’s nice to meet you. We’re going to have fun together; I just know it. One of my favorite songs is Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy after all,”

I cringed and handed her the rose, the woman then kissed my cheek and winked before making her way back to her table. At this point I’d gladly trade this lady for Austin’s 70-year-old date.

As I walked backstage, I repeated, “This is for charity. This is for charity,” in my head several times while my eyes searched the area for the cocktail cart. No bottle of whiskey was going to be safe from me tonight.

It was now Friday, the day I had been wishing that time would somehow forget, but no such luck. I was sitting at the table AEW had reserved for myself and the auction winner, swirling the ice around in my whiskey glass while I waited on my date to show up.

She was able to pick the location for our date after offering the chairman of the foundation an extra $300 to do so. Apparently, money was her thing but punctuality was not when I looked at my watch and noticed she was 10 minutes late. Although, I can’t say I’d be too upset if she forgot about it or changed her mind.

Just as I placed another drink order with the waiter, I noticed the hostess walking towards the table with some girl I’d never seen before trailing behind her.

“Here you go miss,” the hostess smiled as she pulled out the girl’s chair for her. “Enjoy,” She walked away before I could say anything. 

The girl and I sat in silence for a few moments just looking back and forth at each other. I decided to speak up after the waiter brought me my drink. 

“Um, I don’t mean to sound rude, but you have the wrong table. I’m actually waiting for someone else to arrive, so before this gets any more awkward, let me flag the hostess down,”

“That won’t be necessary, because I am your date,” the girl replied, absolutely certain of herself. 

I scoffed slightly at her remark before offering my rebuttal, “No, the woman I’m expecting is tall, blonde, and far older than either of us. She won an auction and if I remember correctly, she doesn’t look a thing like you,”

My poor choice of words made the girl’s face fall, but she recovered quickly. 

“Well, Mr. Page, while I may not be the blonde you were expecting, I am indeed your date for tonight. The auction winner is a friend of my mother’s, and she came down with the flu, so she had me come in her place. I’m starting to question her sanity though for having bid so much money to spend an evening with you and your silver tongue. I’m Y/N by the way. It’s lovely to meet you,” 

It's been a long time since someone has put me in my place like this, and that’s exactly what the little spitfire sitting across from me did. I can’t say that I’m mad about it either. 

“I’m sorry, I was raised better than to treat a lady like that. If I can be honest with you, I really wasn’t looking forward to having this date with your mother’s friend. She’s rather-”

“Flirty? Promiscuous? Bold?” Y/N interrupted.

“Yes, definitely,” I chuckled. “I only did the auction because it was for a good cause. Your mom’s friend got to choose the location of our date, and this isn’t really my scene. I don’t think her and I would’ve had much in common anyways,”

Y/N sat and thought over my confession for a moment, and I took the time to sit and get a good look at her. She had dark hair with light eyes, I could tell she was on the shorter side when she walked up with the hostess. She had to be about my age, possibly a year or two younger but something about her told me that she has an old soul. My attention was focused on her full, pink lips when she started to speak again.

“I see. And what exactly is your scene, cowboy? The rodeo? Or perhaps sitting around a campfire and howling at the moon?” she teased. After my little mistake earlier, she knew she had the upper hand here and was taking full advantage of it.

“A rodeo? Never been to one. Howling at the moon? Now that’s actually therapeutic,” I quipped, earning a bright smile from Y/N in return.

The sound of her laugh made me feel like a million bucks, something inside of me urged me to make her do it again. Before I had the chance, our waiter came to the table to check in. Y/N surprised me when she told them that we wouldn’t be placing an order, and we were ready for the check. 

While we sat and waited for the waiter to return with my credit card, I was a little sad that Y/N was cutting the evening short. She surprised me again when she asked her next question.

“Do you um, want to go get a burger or something? Fancy places like this aren’t really my scene either. I know a great place not far from here if you’d like to go. I’ll even throw in a howl or two at the moon if that’ll help seal the deal,”

“Okay, you weren’t kidding. This really is a great burger,” I praised as I took another bite.

Y/N really knows her stuff! When we were both finished, it was my turn to show off a little bit too. The last time AEW was here for Dynamite, I needed a quiet place to get away and breathe. The hustle and bustle at the arena had really gotten to me that night, so I was on the hunt for some place I could think and clear my head, and that lead me here. A small park on the outskirts of town where the only thing around was the blanket of stars above and the sound of nature in the background. 

For the third time tonight Y/N surprised me when she agreed to come here with me. She doesn’t know me and got thrown into this date mess just like I did, but she still wanted to come. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many stars around here before! It’s amazing how many there really are when you’re not surrounded by city lights,” Y/N said in awe as she looked up at the sky. 

“It’s good to step away from all the noise and brightness from time to time. Back home I like to saddle up and ride a horse out to the meadow and stargaze there. Talk about amazing,” I gushed.

We fell into a comfortable silence until I saw Y/N shiver. “You cold? Here, you can have my jacket,” 

Y/N stopped me before I had it all the way off. “Um, actually we should probably get going. I believe my mom’s friend only paid for a couple hours with you at the auction, I’d hate to take up any more of your time,” she suggested as she stood up. “If you tell me where you’re staying, I can give you a ride there if you’d like,”

I felt a tinge of something when I saw Y/N walk back to her car. Oddly enough, the night that I was dreading all along actually turned out to be pretty amazing. I hated to see it end. There was something about this girl that captivated me in the short amount of time we had spent together, so I had to think fast and figure out a way to see her again.

[whatiwishfanfiction]

Chapter 12

Once-ler turns evil. Gets dark at the end. Read the whole thing on Ao3. Excerpt:

It was nice when he could get a second guitar without even thinking about it. Perhaps even nicer than it would have been to someone who didn't have heartbreaking memories of always being told his parents couldn't afford a good one for him. After all, hadn't it been just the other day he'd asked for one on his eighth birthday in front of the music store window and gotten tears in his eyes when his dad told him no?

He didn't have any memories of clothes-shopping as a child either. All he'd gotten was hand-me-downs for short people from his church's charity drives. Surely other people had always gotten measured at tailors to get jackets and trousers of the highest quality to fit them perfectly. This, of course, justified the exorbitant bill when he bought a new designer wardrobe complete with extra tall top hats in his favorite black and bright green colors.

It turned out, the world was full of things he'd never been able to appreciate before he'd had money:

Clothes, drinks, cars, trips, events. There were so many more opportunities when you weren't just a poor helpless urchin…

He would never go back to being poor. Never. He was even worse than his Ma, after a short time.

"Oncie, don't ya think maybe we could take a day off to have a family picnic and celebrate the end of summer like in the old days?" she said to him one day.

Once-ler looked up from the photos he was studying for a new billboard advertisement. He'd almost settled on what he thought was a charismatic picture of himself with his arms spread wide and an eye-popping grin on his face, though Brett had remarked it made him look rather possessed.

"Ha!" He slammed down the photos. "You mean the old days when we were poor and miserable? Why don't we take the whole week off and have a real party? Or better yet, a month-long tropical vacation?"

His Ma blinked. "Sounds real nice, honey, but who's gonna run the company? Didn't you just get back from a cruise? Ain't ya gettin' just a little too extravagant these days?"

"Who cares? I'm rich! We got a million employees now. Besides I deserve it cuz of all the sufferin' I went through before."

This excuse got less impressive by the day as Once-ler's new luxuries quickly outweighed any misery he'd previously endured. His identity as a lower class citizen faded even more quickly from his own memory and personality than it did into the past.

"I'm so glad that in the last year I was finally able to discover the real me," was something he'd told everyone in his family more than once since they'd returned. It never occurred to him that what he meant was: "I'm so glad I finally have money to do whatever I want without any consequences."

***

2nd excerpt:

"I just wanted to tell you, the Barbaloots are dying."

Something got through the iron-clad self absorption that had enclosed Once-ler for the last few months. He was surrounded by terrible people all the time now, but when harm fell upon innocent creatures, it was different. He remembered the little Barbaloot that had given him a hug after the fiasco in the river.

"What do you mean dying? How can they be… Surely they're not actually dying ?"

"There was something in the water that made 'em sick. Something from your factory that set in quick. It's making 'em not move and lay around. And some of 'em…" There were tears in the Lorax's eyes. "Some of 'em ain't gettin' up from the ground."

READ THE FULL THING ON AO3!!!

[bonezone44]

'Charity'

Uncle!Ezra x Reader

tags: Hurt/comfort (no smut)

word count: 636

a/n: Uncle!Ezra got me through some tough months this year. 🙏

-----------------------------

"It's not fair, Uncle Ezra!" You sob into your hands as you ball up on the couch. "It's not fair that people gotta hurt!" Everywhere you looked all you saw was pain. Entire families begging for money at busy intersections. Expressionless faces with bruised eyelids working at the supermarkets and shopping malls. Your own kind-hearted friends struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation. It pained you. It made you angry. All you wanted to do was reach in and lift them outta the muck, point them in the right direction so they never felt pain ever again.

"I know, baby. I know it's not fair." He sits beside you with his warm hand moving up and down your back.

"So why do people do it? Why do people hurt each other?"

His lips go tight in his teeth and he sighs. "I don't know, baby. They just don't know no better."

It makes you sob harder. You want clarity. You want all the hurt to go away. "It's not fair!" Part of you feels like a toddler--and you see them, too, in your mind's eye as you cry. They're stomping and screaming trying to get what they so desperately desire. What you desire.

"I know it's not fair, baby. I know." Ezra wraps his arm around you, kisses you up and down your shoulder.

"I don't wanna live if it's gonna be like this!"

"Baby, don't say that. There's still plenty of good. There's still plenty of love to live for."

"But I just want people to be happy. I wanna be happy."

"There's happiness, too, angel."

"It's not enough. It's not fair."

"Angel, don't say that. There's plenty of good to live for. There's so much good and it's worth it. It's all worth it. I promise."

"It don't feel worth it. It don't feel worth it."

"I love you so much, angel. You are so sweet for wantin a better world for everybody. You don't know how special you are for feelin that way after everything you been through through. People who been hurt like you turn cold and hateful. And you've been so determined to never end up that way. I don't know if you see how important that is--how important it is to wanna heal people and be good to them. There ain't nearly enough people like you in this world."

"But I feel... I feel like I need to be doin more. Like I'm not doin enough."

"You're doin plenty, angel."

"I wanna do more! I wanna make a difference. I just--I just--I don't wanna hurt anymore."

"What's wrong, baby? Why you hurting?"

"I don't know. Cause there's so many people I wanna help, but I can't. I can't help em. I don't have the money or the-the-the capacity to give them what they need."

"Well that's not a reason to feel hurt. That's not your fault."

"I know but I see them. I see them hurting and I just wanna fix it."

"Aww, angel. You save who you can save. You're not the only one on this big ol' planet. It's not your job to save 'em all. All you gotta do is your part. You can't do other people's parts for them. They gotta do that on their own. And maybe by helping the one or two people you can help, they might get the idea in their head that they can help, too."

You sniffle. "So... helping people might help people... help other people?"

Ezra smiles. "Yeah, I think so. Helping people helps people help people."

You breathe deep breaths, the storm in your head and heart slowly dissipating. "Helping people helps people help people."

He laughs. "That's right, baby. That's right." He kisses you on the side of your head and holds you til you're all clear again.

----------------

a/n: this has been in my drafts for a while, so I figured I'd get it posted.

Also @xdaddysprincessxx , it's not smut, but it's our fave uncle 🙏

[rebouks]

I'm gonna be the realest with you rn and say that I haven't read Somnium (yet?) and I'm just following FIB as you upload, so I caught myself wondering what Oscar's job is! I'm not completely clueless though: I checked some older posts and from what I saw, I assumed he's a hacker and worked for a criminal gang? But what about now? Just a freelancer? And what about Courtney? What does homegirl got going for her? Tbh I'd love to know the profession of all your sims! Pls don't mind my lazy ass :')

Haaah! I can't say I blame you tbh since it's quite an investment at this point (still worth it imo tho LOL) but yeah, it's hard to catch up sometimes skjkdj <- me currently tryna catch up on a bazillion stories omg

Let's cover as many as we can! lmk if I miss any tho 🙈

But yessss.. Oscar is a freelancer programmer at the moment! He's VERY good at it but moved away from his naughtiness on that front for the most part 🤭 it works really well for him since he's not too great with structure and can work from home! (his office still SUCKS tho ;-;)

Courtney - Stay at Home Mom! She used to work at a garden centre and she's had a million n' one jobs before that too, she doesn't know what she wants to do 🙃 she'll think abt it some more when the kiddos are all old enough for school tho probs...

Ivan - Mechanical Engineer - haven't thought abt this one too much, I imagine he works at some kinda factory looking after/fixing all the machines tho idk 🤔

Bruno - Landscape Gardener

Noah - Artist! He has his own gallery now too and he scouts/stocks other peoples work as well as his.

Aspen - Yoga Teacher - kinda casual tho since Noah makes enough for both of em n' then some.

Sidney - Retired A&E Doctor! Still works the odd shift to help out tho cos she can't help herself.

Alton - Retired Charity Worker (FOR THE TREEEES! 🌲)

Alma - Semi Retired Medium/Tarot Card Reader

Mack/Kobe - Mechanics (still own their lil garage in the Harbor)

Darien - Accountant (a very GOOD accountant & only slightly dodgy these days, plenty of legal ways around the law u kno 😉)

Wyatt - Unemployed! Man's got enough money to last several lifetimes but messes with a lot of stocks, he'll tell people he's an Investor)

Brynn - Stay at Home Mom! She's quite social tho, I can see her getting a job in a cafe or smth when the kids go to school just for fun)

Tilda - Seamstress! She works with a slightly eccentric woman in her shop in the Bay

Tristen - Pizza Boy/Lifeguard! He works with Kara in a cute lil takeaway in town at night, but by day he picks up shifts as a lifeguard on the beach, especially in spring/summer 🌊 He has his own place now!! 🏠👀

Mia - Paramedic! She works a LOT

Suzie - Dog Sitter/Groomer - she has her own grooming station in the garage/outhouse so basically works from home!

Miya - Mixologist!

Rhys - Photographer - he's mostly done weddings/events in the past but he's working toward doing more projects of his own since he has a studio now! 📸

Tommy - Psychiatrist (Still doing his residency tho)

[theriverperson]

@badmusejail

It had been several days since the zoo and the hotel and River had actually made that doctor's appointment when Gaster returned the two of them home. They'd even sent him a message (in the middle of a few pictures of random animals they'd seen while out and about and several various conversational messages).

River: Gaster, The doctor says my magic looks fine. Injury to skull healed up too. He said that having someone there to ground me right after seems to have helped quite a bit. Something about giving me something 'real' to focus on. Makes sense I suppose. Dearly, CHARON (River)

At some point they'd just started signing their messages to him with their actual name and didn't really bother to examine it too closely. Just seemed more natural that way.

Today's work had them in Gerson's shop though. His new shop. He'd finally found a place that seemed fitting and they considered the old turtle a good, dear friend and were more than willing to (as Gerson put it) 'take advantage of that lack of aging to help some old joints get some stuff moved around'. They smiled as they went to pick up another two of the chairs from the van out front.

"So anyways, like I was saying," the old turtle rambled on while grabbing a lighter box himself, "all these so-called charity organizations are well and good and all, been helping quite a few of the younger monsters yanno?" River nodded along appropriately and waited for Gerson's much slower walk down the van's ramp. "And that's nice and all but if they had the kind of problems b'fore that needed 'em you can see how that might mean we've got our work even more cut out for us."

"Indeed," River replied, moving down the ramp more gracefully once Gerson was safely back on the ground and chuckling at the old turtle's side-comment of 'show-off'. The banter like that between them was just part of their friendship. "It gives many of us hope to see some of the humans so strongly on our side, though."

As they went to place the chairs down and get the door, they said, "and I'm glad you finally found a shop 'suitably antique looking'."

[fitzfortunee]

Just realized I haven't shown my development in my Doctor Who collection so here's a waypoint!

Past collection update posts:

[weedle-testaburger]

i feel like sharing some of my least prized possessions

my coll-shrek-tion- I've mentioned before but I have a thing where because I found a german copy of shrek 2 on dvd in a charity shop once, I look for more of em whenever I go abroad. I've got a french one and a dutch one to go with it, I looked for em when I went to denmark and sweden but couldn't find em I was crestfallen

the assortment of Things I Bought Because They're Memey And Were Cheap (inc. plushie rei, fisto, yak face, extremely bootlegged pomni and catboy loid)

both halves of my url (f for one of weedle's legs)

some of my steven collection

the pikachu I've had since I was like 12 whose eyes wore off and I replaced them by taping on hole punched bits of paper

and last but definitely not least, my Drawer Of Stuff- there's genuinely hundreds of pins, stickers and prints I've accumulated over like 9 years of going to conventions. it's like a lucky dip, sometimes I go through it and find stuff I forgot I even had

[fantasyinallforms]

WIP Sunday (except on a Monday)

I was tagged by @lordoftherazzles to share a snippet from my WIPs! I decided two share two, one from one of my posted WIP's Sparks& Gardens, and one from my not yet released Biker Gang AU

Here is a sneak peek at Chapter 6 of Sparks & Gardens 

“Welcome back, Mr. Baggins. I hope the florist was pleasant. Your handyman was lounging about, then started making a racket in his attempts to disassemble your patio table. He claims he was fixing it; however, I saw you purchased it just last Monday.” Bilbo glanced at Thorin for only a split second before continuing without missing a beat. 

“Well, I do apologize for the necessary racket. The table was indeed damaged when I bought it. It was absolutely stunning, and I could not pass it up knowing I had a capable handyman who could put it to rights. Though I will say that I’m surprised any racket Mr. Thorin could produce would cause such a fuss. Lunch for you must have been over an hour ago, as I just passed Mrs. Greenwood and her book club on her way to visit the park. You must convey my respect for their choice in reading this month; John Keats’ poems are truly inspiring.” Every word of what Bilbo said was dripping in polite kindness, but Thorin could tell he had Mr.Greenwood by the throat. 

“I will convey the sentiment. I shall not keep you on the street much longer as I know you must be busy with your charity work. You have always seemed to have a soft spot for broken things. If you find yourself in need of assistance, you need only knock. I would ask that you keep the charity from spilling out onto the street. I would hate for it to bring down the street’s appeal.” Mr.Greenwood turned and walked back through his front door. Thorin was bristling. The meanings behind Mr. Greenwood's jabs were not lost on him. He couldn't even take pleasure in the kind smile on Bilbo’s face with the words ‘charity work’ ringing in his ears.   

And a sneak peek at my upcoming Biker Gang AU

“Why does every person in my shop have a flower sticking out of their hair?” Thorin asked. Bofur popped his head out from under his bike. He had two flowers sticking out of his hat, making him look like a cartoon character.

“A nice cute fella came and gave em out this morning. He opened a florist shop just off Gladden Fields and was trying to meet the locals. Gave us all a free flower or two,” Bofur batted at the flowers in his hat cheerfully. This man definitely wasn't a local if he walked right into the shop and offered flowers. A florist was also not something you saw here often. As much as Thorin loved his town, Erebor wasn't the best neighborhood. That's partially why Durin’s Might came to be. Before his grandfather started the club, the place was damn near overrun with petty crime. New gangs popped up every few months battling for a piece of the town. It got a lot of innocent people killed. Now there was a status quo. The businesses pay a protection fee to the gang, and the gang runs undesirables out of town and keeps their shops safe. Everyone from town knew this shop was the base of operations for Durin’s Might and typically steered clear unless they needed assistance.    

“That doesn't explain why you’re all actually wearing the flowers,” Thorin said 

“The fella was incredibly friendly. He also had no clue who we were. Also, how often do we get offered anything? Besides, his face lit up like a Christmas tree when we accepted them. It was adorable,” Bofur reasoned. Thorin just rolled his eyes. “You’d be wearing one too if he was here when you were up,” Bofur testified in his defense. Thorin snorted,

“Doubtful." He finished Inventory just as the coffee started to kick in. His jet lag was finally starting to subside, and he was itching to get out of the shop for a few. He grabbed his long fur-lined leather biking jacket and threw it on. 

~I'll let you in on a secret. He does end up with a flower in his hair~

Non-obligatory tags: @conkers-theficwriter @scyllas-revenge @durinsheir @ironmandeficiency

[valkyrie-night-103]

Hey! Since time travel fuckery was abandoned I shall use both my ask and my break at the charity shop to ask about the reverse parent trap!

Hope you're having a great day :) <3

You spoil me! Love you <3

Wrote this at 3am a while ago and then had to rework it to make it coherent, so apologies if this makes as much sense to you as it does to my irl wrestling-fan-in-law boyfriend who sent this lovely ask!

Only content warnings that come to mind are Mild injury and bullying, but this is a pretty mellow Single Parent AU

When Jon Moxley is picking up his adopted/foster son from school for the first time, he feels terribly out of place. He’s already getting some judgmental stares from some of the soccer moms, and this does not improve when Yuta meets him in the parking lot, sporting a fresh bruise on his cheekbone, near his right eye.

It comes out on the drive home that he got beat up by a group of kids at school. Though Mox would happily fight a child that messed with his kid, he doesn’t feel like going to jail. So, he takes this as an opportunity to enrol Yuta in martial arts classes to give them something to bond over in the form of combat sports.

He does not expect the instructor to be his high school ex-boyfriend, Bryan Danielson. But he rolls with it, because that’s what he does. Besides, Yuta is a natural, and more importantly he’s having fun.

Over the next few weeks, the bullying persists, and he knows something has to be done after Yuta comes home with a busted lip and the sour attitude of somebody who got caught by surprise. Mox just wants to talk, he swears. It is Friday and after hours, so he’ll have to wait.

He doesn’t have to wait long, as it’s only 10am on Monday when he gets the call that Yuta has been in a fight and he needs to come in to discuss it or some shit.

He’s the first parent to arrive, and Yuta gives him the rundown right away. The kid, Danny, he calls him, was talking shit about their gym teacher, and so Yuta punched him. He says so with a shrug.

That explains the message from Eddie about the younger generation being feral and cursing the mountains of paperwork that a fight creates. Of course it was his kid that decked someone in his best friend’s lesson. Eddie will probably never let him forget it, he can almost hear him chuckling about it now.

Ya really know how to pick ‘em, eh Mox?

He tells Yuta to wait outside, and takes a seat. He does not expect the door to open, and Bryan Danielson to walk in. It seems the universe has it out for him, as the main offender in the group of boys bullying his son is none other than Bryan’s own son, Daniel Garcia. It quickly becomes apparent that the universe is not done, as the coach for the high school amateur wrestling team the year he competed walks in and sits at the desk, looking amused.

(Contrary to popular belief, Mox definitely did *not* have any weird sexual tension with William Regal. Okay, fine, maybe, but Regal started it. Sort of.)

After some accusations are thrown in either direction, accompanied by eye rolls, obscene hand gestures and a varied selection of curse words, Regal gets sick of the bickering that was childish even when they were still teenagers, some 20 years ago. When he raises his voice, Mox and Bryan cease their nonsense, and they actually have a productive conversation.

It quickly becomes clear that Danny is pulling Yuta’s metaphorical pigtails because he wants to be friends but doesn’t know how to show it. Bryan swears it’s just a phase and he’ll grow out of it, but Mox isn’t so sure, at least at first.

The more they talk about the kids, the more Mox and Bryan realise how alike they are. And so, for the sake of their sanity- and their son’s school places- they scheme to get their kids to be friends.

They did not plan to fall in love in the process.

[strscrossed]

✨actor au headcanons ✨ part 2

i was really feeling this last night so!!! here are some things that happened during production. i'll do a social media one soon.

historia and eren were shit stirrers and the problem children of the entire cast, doing the whole partying thing because they had to cope with so much fame so fast but they always covered for each other but eren fell into worse habits whereas historia was able to get herself out

eren was doing a stint in rehab during the final part's shooting so that's why he was largely not present during half of the season's episodes. he comes back for the final stretch of episodes and he's clean and cuts his hair and all that and is finally able to grow up after seeing his character's fate

arumika's date was largely a PR stunt because a) she'd just broken up with jean and b) the rumor mill was stirring that armin was fooling around with annie, who's currently in a relationship. rumor has it that they might've hooked up too but neither confirm it and armin alludes to them making out once in his tell-all.

armin writes a tell-all where he airs out all the dirty laundry (with everyone's permission) but he does confirm that annie was cheating with him for months while she was with bertholdt and the two of them got into such a bad fight that they had to rewrite scenes or shoot them separately because it was so so bad

as for the zeke-pieck thing. yeah the two of them had an affair while shooting their season 3 cameos. and yelena was his wife of 2 years at the time and it was a major scandal leading to a divorce because pieck got knocked up. they married the day after the divorce was finalized but they divorced a year later for reasons no one really knows. it was so bad that the "divorce" was written into the plot but they made up and remarried later.

eren and mikasa's relationship actually started on the second to last day of shooting right after their cabin scene and eren's fresh out of rehab. yes the cabin sequence is the final thing they shoot. so technically the last thing is the kiss and both of them realize that they don't want to end up like that so they confess their love for each other in mikasa's trailer that night. they marry a year later and they're one of those rare celeb couples that actually stay together and aren't surrounded in scandal.

mikasa is the set's hot girl because she's been on dates with most of the guys. she did go off and on with jean throughout the seasons though. they had a break up during season 1 and got back together and so forth. he was about to propose but she broke it off before he could because she knew she didn't love him in the way that he loved her. she had a brief fling with porco too and it was a fling for all intents and purposes that last for a month tops. she was going through it because eren was at his worst and they were rumored to have had a huge blowout.

maybe em hooked up once between seasons 3 and 4 and that sent eren hurdling towards rock bottom but also was his wake up call too.

levi's an enigma and his personal life is the subject of so much media scrutiny but he never comments. he's been linked to a few of his co-stars and even other well known celebs but he never never comments and he's rumored to have beaten up some sleazy journalist once. he has a side-gig and that's the owner of a successful chain of tea-shops across the world.

reiner becomes a huge mental health advocate and spends a lot of time helping out with charities. he's sort of a golden child which is why when he checks into rehab, everyone's shocked. turns out it's because of exhaustion and his mental health that he wants to take care of so he leads by example.

because so many characters get killed off, they get a free spa day, a meal at a nice restaurant, and a big bottle of wine followed by a "sorry, you're dying next episode" note from the writers and producers.

connie grows his hair out immediately after because he hates being bald

when shooting the epilogue on the boat, connie and jean recreated the "i'm flying" scene from titanic and it was put into the blooper real and they had no idea lol

if em were bad when it came to finally getting together, aa was really had at staying together for more than a few months because of all the media pressure and annie's own insistence to stay out of the limelight. they did finally stay together and married some years after filming wrapped. annie retired from acting and became an interior designer and that really did wonders for her.

hange actually has a phd in zoology so they brought that into their character and even went off-script several times but the writers loved it so much they just kept it.

ymir actually went onto becoming hugely successful and once she and historia get together, they're a complete power couple but they did play chicken with the media for years before announcing their engagement via the fake baby bump post on instagram. also both of them wanted a kid so they also announced historia's actual pregnancy via sperm donor and the rumor is that either armin or porco were the donors.

zeke and historia are distant cousins but they shared an ancestor maybe 8 generations back.

[freakingoutthesquares]

Pulp Words: Siân Pattenden Taken from Select Magazine, October 1994 Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

Russell Senior is the guitarist with "mad, staring eyes" and an interesting sideline in violin-playing with Pulp. He lives in Sheffield with his girlfriend and two children in a Coronation Street-style abode with a "certiflable lunatic" over the road who throws stones at his window. He is having a problem getting rid of the Artex that swamps the walls of the house at the moment, and has just finished painting the bathroom.

COCKTAIL SHAKER "I've always liked the idea of it, but only recently have I been able to afford to do it. The idea of sophistication like in a James Bond movie. It's just civilised values. Particularly in Sheffield, there's a tendency for things to turn into a Hogarthian nightmare. All these lairy people wandering about. It's for people like me to keep a stiff upper lip."

SUNGLASSES "I have so many. It started a few years ago in France. I wore these sunglasses, and afterwards in a nightclub loads of French people offered me money for them. I thought, Here's a way to earn money. So I bought loads of pairs and wandered around waiting for people to buy them. They didn't. Also, I've got these mad staring eyes. At concerts people'd be dancing, but there'd be a pool of emptiness in front of me, with people looking terrified. I started wearing sunglasses so I wouldn't disconcert people."

SOPHIE "She's my daughter, she's six. She's very into the macabre, Egyptology, vampires, things like that. Her favourite book is the Tibetan Book Of The Dead. Her teachers must think we're Satanists or something, because I see her school books and it's all drawings of vampires and stuff like that. I quite like horror films and horror books, but it's mainly her interest. She wants 'em."

JACKET "It's my own and I have worn it, but I wouldn't wear it to do the gardening. I got it from the cat shelter at the top of our road - a charity shop, not a place for beleaguered cats. I think originally it was the jacket that the mayor of a small American town owned."

GLASSES "These are from East Germany. I bought dozens of boxes of these in a car boot sale and they're the only ones left because they're so fragile. They're amazing, the kind of thing that would be in Modesty Blaise. They're completely impractical, which isn't really me. I like everything to be functional. I only use drinking glasses that are not made this century. It's tacky, new glass. I don't like tack and I don't really like the '70s either."

LAMP "You know lava lamps? I used to sell them. That's very Pulp, innit? That's a glitter one. The thing about your lava lamp is they take an hour to warm up, and they're good to look at but the light they give out isn't terribly interesting. Whereas the glitter ones give out a nice warm light. That's from my dealing days - kitch value that is, but I use it."

TREASURE CHEST "About three years ago Sophie found a large golden key in a wood near us, and recently she found a bottle with a map. We found this old tunnel from the map, and we came across this treasure chest. It's true. It had brass candlesticks in it, rum, spices, amber, old books in Latin, Roman coins - treasure. It was worth nothing individually, but accumulatively... it was everywhere the glint of gold. It's here to stand for the fact that I'm the treasurer of the abode, which means doing things like doing the books."

WALLPAPER "It's fairly neutral. The main thing in this house is getting round the Artex in the other rooms. I regard Artex as an affront to civilised values, a deeply cynical form of decorating. To me it's the epitome of bad taste, I try to avoid it."

CHESS "I play on tour. Touring is 90 per cent intensely boring, and there's always a tendency to do the most mind-numbing things - to be surrounded by screwed-up cans of lager, play Nintendo and have three kinds of music all playing at the same time. It's terrible. Whereas chess perks the mind up. I'm not a good player but it's one of those civilised things."

STEREO CABINET "I don't think it looks very nice. It's OK, but you've got to put it on all the black hifi stand stuff. I've got a thing about keeping any sort of reference to music out of the mainstream of my life. You won't see any Pulp posters in my house. I don't listen to our records."

MUSHROOMS "I use them in cooking, I pick them to eat them. I learnt about them from books. I had this chart with mushrooms on, I saw all these exotic things you could find in the woods. Fungi is an amazing world, but there's a certain snobbery involved - it's just an excuse to charge exorbitant prices for a meal. Most of them aren't as nice as ordinary mushrooms from a shop. That's the truth, as someone who's tried most of them. The best? A shaggy parasol is probably the finest."

HERBS "I like having all the herbs and spices there are, every nut in existence, every seaweed. I like going to shops to buy a nice vegetable or piece of meat, and come home and think, What are we going to do with you then? I like having every possible cuisine available to me. That choice. If I was going to live in London it would be because you can't get fresh basil in Sheffield."

RECORDS "I don't listen to that much, but I'd listen to Wagner and Bach quite a lot. The Rolling Stones are probably my favourite classic rock band. (Confidentially) I have listened to The Auteurs a bit, that's my concession to the '90s. It doesn't play a large part in my life music, at home."

SUNGLASSES STAND "Plastic and fluorescent, maybe luminous. I wouldn't have that kind of rubbish in my living room ordinarily, it's my one token Pulp thing. If you're going to say Pulp is all about '70s-ness and kitschness, well, it's one media perception that isn't me. There are other elements to Pulp of which I'm one."

VIOLIN BOW "To represent my amazing violin playing in the group, such as it is. My violin's at the practice room. No, I don't play it round the house to amuse the kids."

Kitten.

[the-new-hip-priest]

Go to your local charity/thrift/op shop! Even if you live in bumfuck nowhere, I promise you'll be surprised at what you can find. I have two favourite jackets that I'm often complimented on, and I got both of them from a little store ten minutes down the road. $15AUD for a proper leather biker jacket! One on them has a Bauhaus backpatch that I made by cutting up a 13 year old shirt, the other has a Milhaus backpatch that I knocked up myself on Paint. A lot of sp00py bands have fairly straightforward logos, too. Look them up on google images, convert the picture to black and white, and bam! You've got your own stencils. Print 'em off and go to town with a scalpel/stanley knife/cutter. If you fuck it up the first time, so what? Have another go. Hell, buy a plain black t-shirt from the op-shop and use it as dedicated patch material. I promise you don't need some inherent artistic skills, just go slow and enjoy it. And don't feel bad for doing the Cross and Cross-Bones Christian Death logo, it's a good start for when you're learning! In Australia, we also have stores we call 'two dollar shops'. This isn't to be taken as literally as Poundland for example (in so much as the items don't actually all cost two dollars, but I digress). These shops almost always have one fancy dress/costume aisle that has fishnets in every colour you can imagine. Grab some in your favourite colour, hack them with scissors, and safety-pin it to your sleeves. I'm pretty sure Killstar sells a piece that is literally just a t-shirt with two slashes through it, held together with safety pins. You could pay $40+ for that shirt, or grab a second-hand one and a packet of safety pins for about $7. Get some white-out or acrylic paint and get creative with spider webs and bats. You can bulk buy hundreds of studs from sites like ebay, and if you're working with leather, you can pick up an awl from your local hardware store for a few bucks. You don't to cough up for a stud press. Also, one of the best aspects is that it's your clothes. If you love Parálisis Permanente as well as Pusheen, go for it. Stick that little kitty somewhere! When I wanted some summer-appropriate shoes, I bought a cheap pair of sandals from K-Mart and a packet of toy spiders (alongside the studs I had left over from buying in bulk). I brought them home, got out the glue gun, and now I have cool, spikey, spidery sandals. I could've bought something similar from Dangerfield for about $70, but what's the point? They would've been the same basic quality as the sandals, and I can reattach anything that might fall off without the horrendous guilt that comes from knowing you paid good money for a poor-quality product. Wanna look like a horned demon/ess? All you need is a generic headband, a couple of toilet rolls/cardboard tubes, duct tape, acrylic paint, and hot glue - significantly cheaper than a $35 premade headband. Grab some black roses from a craft shop, if you're feeling fancy. I also strongly believe in donation karma. Is that The Cure shirt getting a bit too snug around the shoulders? Donate it. I promise the next time you come back to the store, you'll find something gorgeous exactly in your size. OP also acknowledged disability in regards to DIY. If you have a mate that finds it difficult to work with their hands, make them some patches! In the same vein, I have a friend who cannot move her lower body but is incredibly crafty and nimble with her hands. She's done some commission cross-stich for me in the past. Consider your options and support your local scene!

Actually I'll never forgive Punk Rave and Killstar and fast fashion brands for tricking people into thinking that being goth or punk or emo is expensive. Babygirl the only goth brand names you need to know are Rit, Good Will, Etsy, and Studs and Spikes, we used to shove safety pins through our ears and then they started selling earrings that look like safety pins for 15.99. We used to dye thrifted wedding dresses black and they started selling gothic gowns for 300 bucks. We used to put studs on boots we found in the back of the good will and they started making Demonias. DIY or die wasn't perfect it can be exclusionary to disabled people but whatever the fuck we've got going on right now is so much worse. It's not any more inclusive to the disabled and it is exclusionary to the people who made punk, to the people who made goth, to the people who made emo. If you've got the funds and you don't want to do diy pay someone else to do it for you but please let it be a small artist or a friend not some guy in a suit who's made it his business to gentrify punk. You can turn flats into platforms with flipflops, hotglue and gumption don't let anyone tell you different.