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kingdoms-and-empires · 25 days ago

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After Dark Review (Zombies!)

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@dalekowrites

Synopsis:

A few years from now, in Little Peak, Michigan, a teenager is ready to go to sleep.

While the heavy industry is more active than ever, the effects of global warming are evident, with higher temperatures, dying bees, and animals acting weird.

It has simply been another normal Wednesday, but little do people know that it’s the last day of normality Mother Nature has granted them.

After Dark is a scientifically accurate apocalyptic horror. You’re tired of zombies rising from the ground for no reason? You don’t believe in ghosts? Glittering vampires aren’t for you? Then you have to try one of the three different stories that unfold in After Dark.

When a global pandemic starts to transform people into dangerous monsters, which path will you choose? Will you fight for humanity? Will you stay for your family? Or will you run away in search of a better future?

Review:

The Good: Why does every IF Zombie game have the authors kill themselves in the coding department? This is in the good section, so it isnt a bad thing, though sometimes I worry for the sanity of the author lol. Anyways, After Dark is ambitious! Here are some of the things the author implemented:

Three different routes with three completely different stories. (1 is being worked on right now, the other two have not yet been implemented yet as far as I know)

A phone with a social network, gallery for the ROs, a newsletter, and a weather forecast app... of which you need to charge without it being annoying thankfully!

Characters remember what you talk about and will bring it up in future conversations, so you cant be two faced lol

A romance autonomy system that you can switch on that allows ROs to flirt with you!

Random encounters to encourage re-playability.

An inventory system.

A weather system, that can be prepped for using the weather app on your phone.

Hourly progression system, there are only a set amount of hours in a day that you can use to do things without affecting you.

Discoverable side stories.

A private journal that keeps track of stuff for you. Kinda Elder Scrolls coded and i jive with it haha

And crazy enough, there's more. The above sounds complicated and overwhelming, but it isnt for the reader somehow. The author was able to integrate all the above without it feeling intrusive or annoying.

As for the story itself, remember this is currently one route. The writing is well done, it isnt overly flowery or super descriptive to the point of walls of text. Instead it gets to the point effectively and without losing points.

It made me want to read more, and that is exactly what we readers look for as we scour the IF space for more stories.

ABBY

I really like Abby. She's the preggo lady you can find, and I love the humanity she brings to the story. She does some things thatll make you go:

All of the characters feel grounded and not tropey if that makes any sense. And the dynamics of the group can change with the MC's input, or lack of it.

And then food. Holy shit, the need for food actually felt immersive lmao, whenever id find a snack or something id snatch that mfer up

The Bad:

I would like more zombies. The characters, the narrative, and the plot works well. But I'm worried of being presented with more human on human conflict/drama instead of the undead, and to that I recommend the author to introduce more scenes where we can see the horror, eeriness, and sadness that such an apocalypses would induce. Make a scene where the player is being chased by the undead because of a fuck up, it can be MC's or one of the characters to create tension or drama and it can even make an RO moment occur. Or a scene where you can enter a school, or one of the FEMA camps and see the aftermath of an incident where the zombies break in or someone infected got in. Of course, the author is steadily updating, and what I just said may very will be in the cards of a future update! But I do think something involving the zombies should occur sooner than later, as the beginning scene with the parent and the chaos, horror, and tension of the scene still stayed with me, and i was hoping to reach those emotional heights again while playing!

The Ugly:

Other than a few gender variable errors of the ROs and the regular grammar mistakes found in any IF, the biggest issue i had was with presentation. I'd recommend the author to clean up the spacing between paragraphs in the future when they have time alongside the new update.

The Aftermath:

Zombie IFs just don't seem to miss. Almost all are able to land within the "good" category whenever one releases, and this has the potential to land right in the "Chef's Kiss" tier. I'd recommend this game to anyone craving a zombie IF, and im excited to see this develop more in the future! The characters are grounded, flawed but not annoyingly, and capable. The story is plausible, and the narrative makes sense. Honestly? I want more and I want it now!

#after dark #interactive fiction #dashingdon #hosted games #choicescript #choice of games #if wip #interactive novel #zombies #if review

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bassdaily · 1 month ago

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The Complete Visual Guide to Bass (from Mega Man) in the Third Dimension That No One Wanted or Asked For: A Checklist

Articulated "Action Figures" (including model kits):

Tamashii Nations D-Arts Forte [4.5"] - 2013 Tamashii Nations D-Arts Gospel Jazwares Series 1 Bass [6", short helmet fins] - 2003 Jazwares Series 2 Bass [6", long helmet fins] - 2004 • Remote Mine [teal colorways]

Bandai Mega Armor Iron Buster Forte model kit - 1997 Bandai Power Buster Rockman Forte candy toy [4"] - 1997 Atelier Sai Forte garage kit - 2009 Crossover! Megamix Forte garage kit - 2015 Jazwares Bass [3"] - 2004 • Remote Mine [teal colorways] The Loyal Subjects Bass - 2020 • [metallic colorways] • [battle damage colorways] • [glow in the dark colorways] The Loyal Subjects Treble - 2020

Canceled: Jazwares "Minimates-style" Bass (proof of concept) • From the collection of nightram56 on Youtube • "These prototypes are from Jazwares […] the designer called these "Minimate-type" figures. They are not related to Minimates from Diamond Select Toys, but it seems at one point Jazwares wanted to mimic the brand." Canceled Jazwares Treble Darkstar 3" line vehicle [riding cars] Canceled: Jazwares Retro Roto Bass (picture is a custom) • Custom by hankhillp65 on eBay • Announced for a future Retro Roto release but it doesn't look like there were any prototypes, this custom gives a glimpse of what might have been. Canceled: Bandai Iron Buster metallic plated vers. [gold colorways] • From the collection of u/Last_Disk on Reddit • "Is that a gold Forte ironbuster I see? What's the story on that?" "Prototypes from ex bandai employee."

Bonus - Articulated Dr. Wily:

Funko Action Figures Dr. Wily - 2018 Jazwares Dr. Wily [from "Dr. Wiley's Lab" playset] - 2005 Canceled: Jazwares Retro Roto Dr. Wily

Figurines, mini figs, statuettes:

Tamashii Trading Super Model Spirit Rockman Forte - 2010 • A [standing, open palm] • B [jumping, fist] Unknown MM7 Bass minifig [purple] 25¢ Capsule/Dollar Store Bass minifig - early 2000's

Tamashii Chogokin 10th Anniversary Forte metal mini [4cm] - 1997 Bandai Rockman & Forte Forte candy toy ["puzzle pieces"] - 1998 Bandai Battle Brushers RM7 set Forte mini - 1995 Jazwares Wrecking Station Bass mini [playset] - 2004 • Clear minifigure [yellow colorways] (bonus with 6" S2 Proto Man)

Chibis:

Funko Pint Size Heroes Bass - 2017 Mitsubishi Pencil Forte pencil topper Banpresto Forte keychain [4.5cm] - 1998 Bandai Rockman Chasers Battle & Chase Forte and Gospel candy toys [riding cars] - 1997 Planeswalker chibi Forte and Gospel statue garage kit Q's Workshop chibi Forte and Rockman minifig garage kit - 2024

Keshigomu:

Unknown Battle & Chase Forte and Gospel [riding cars] Bandai Rockman 7 3D Encyclopedia Forte [assorted colorways] Bandai Rockman Fighters Forte [assorted colorways] Bandai Super Forte [assorted colorways] Bandai Rockman 8 Chibi Forte [assorted colorways] Bandai Rockman 8 Gospel [assorted colorways]

None of the images are mine, most are collected from public auction and sales listings, toy news sites, review sites. I have a lot of additional information on some of these, as well as a lot of thoughts about scale and which lines work together. At some point I'll put together something for Forte.exe too.

#mega man bass #rockman forte #action figures #garage kits #keshi #mega man #long post #bass #treble

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chai-and-cherries · 2 years ago

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5 Insanely Underrated (Dark) Queer Book Recs for Your TBR (No Spoiler Reviews!)

I ain’t gonna beat around the bush, folks--this post has been a long time coming. Over the past year, I have somehow stumbled into my new favorite genre, leaving the careful days of YA comforting fantasy reads behind (but not forgotten!). I used to never be one for the dark, grisly, and not so man-made horrors beyond comprehension. But with the help of time, mind devouring storytelling, and gut wrenching emotions the world loves to carve out of us all, tastes have changed! So without further ado, let me recommend 5 of my favorite (darker) queer reads of 2022. Titles are linked to official Goodreads summaries while I have included my no-spoiler reviews below.

Some of these are horror, some fantasy, some tragedy, and most a mix of the above. As the new year draws closer, if you’re feeling ready to branch out (or branch in!!) please consider giving these severely underrated titles a read. And support lesser known authors while you’re at it!

As the title of the post implies, these books tend to brew darker than your average cup ‘a joe. So please heed included trigger warnings and take care!

1. You Will Love What You Have Killed by Kevin Lambert

(Original title: Tu aimeras ce que tu as tué. English Translation by Winkler Donald).

Genres: Adult Fiction, Horror, Canadian Literature, Queer AF

Review: If you’re not a fan of blood, gore, and every horror under the dying sun, scroll away now. Starting off incredibly strong and incredibly twisted with French-Canadian Lambert’s debut novel, You Will Love What You Have Killed, this novel is neither for the faint of heart nor some of the hard of heart. I went into this book knowing next to nothing about what was in store and left somehow feeling more empty than before. As arguably the darkest and most gory book on the list, this surrealist take on childhood rage and post-humous revenge on the town that discarded you before you had a chance to fight back is bound to haunt you long after you’ve finished it. Lambert’s own style of dark and nauseatingly twisted humor will either seal the deal for you, or leave you running for the hills. To be honest, I loathe this book as much I appreciate the queer, surrealist landscape of apocalyptic vengeance. Brownie points for being flat-out strange.

Content Warnings: if you can think of it, chances are its here. loads of death and murder, including that of children, suicide; ableism; homophobia, transphobia; pedophilia, rape, sexual abuse, explicit sexual descriptions, abortion, necrophilia; animal abuse, killing of animals; child abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse (by the narrator); cancer; 9/11 (comprehensive list via Ashton on GoodReads)

2. Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

Genres: YA Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi/Dystopian, Queer AF

Blurb: In this world on the brink of man-made/god-induced apocalypse, trans-boy Benji has to fight not only to survive a hellscape determined to burn itself to the ground, but also his own role in bringing about the End. Hell Followed With Us is a queer rage manifesto, the gospel for those forced to become monsters by the same society that weaponized and then condemned them for being such. White’s novel not only brought healing to a large part of my own religious trauma, but it helped me embrace the very “monster” the so called righteous would have damned. Because when the world will villianize you anyway, revolution may very well be embracing the monster within--the monster the world forced into being. This one is definitely a keeper, and definitely a re-reader. The character diversity in this book is incredible, also for the simple fact that it isn’t forced or seemingly “trying to meet a quota”, and for canonically calling out [redacted].

Content Warnings: For a comprehensive list courtesy of the author himself, please visit his website here.

3. Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca

Genres: Adult Fiction, Horror/Psychological Thriller, Short-Stories, Queer AF

Blurb: Shorter but no less impactful than the rest, Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke is a twisted foray into the psychology of human obsession. After reading the blurb, I tried to prepare myself for the following unease and depravity I was promised. And god was that promise delivered on a silver poisoned platter. Set to the backdrop of chat forums and online messaging, LaRocca weaves a sadomasochistic love story between two women searching for deeper connection. But love isn’t exactly the right word, is it? After all, things can only get worse from the start. Suffice to say, wholesome does not live in these pages. And I need more.

Content Warnings: animal cruelty/death, body horror, gore, mental/emotional abuse, exploration of kink, very toxic example of a dom/sub relationship.

4. Angels Before Man by Rafael Nicolás

Genres: Adult Fantasy, Mythology Retelling, Romance, Paranormal, Queer AF

Blurb: I try not to pick favorites on list recs, but as my most recent read of the year, Nicolás’ debut novel has quickly been shelved in my mind and heart’s hall of fame. Angels Before Man is a queer retelling of the fall of Lucifer from a paradise that may not be as, well, paradise as it seems. With narrative prose so poetic that epics of the ancient world come to mind, and themes of religious rebellion and queer rage reminiscent not only of other novels on this list but also the lives of countless individuals whose love warns at revolution, Angels Before Man tells the story of the greatest disobedience Heaven had to face: the creation of sin, born from the first love that turned a jealous god to rage. As ABM only released weeks ago, I sincerely hope it’s only the beginning for this book and author. Bible? Who needs her. The Word of God? I don’t even know her. I’ve got Angels Before Man. And so will my friends because I’m gifting them this heavenly-gem (heh, see what I did there?) for the holidays.

Content Warnings: Courtesy of the author himself (list also included at start of book): Blasphemy, off-page sexual assault with related internal monologue post-incident, Self-harm, Atypical depiction of grooming, Animal death, Abuse (emotional, physical), Sexual content, Body horror, Graphic depictions of violence, Incestuous term use, Potential correlation to homosexuality being sinful, Depictions of mental instability

5. Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

Genres: Historical Fiction, Historical Fantasy, Magic Realism, Queer AF

Blurb: Of the 5 recs on the list, I have to be honest and say with full disclosure that this is my one cheat as I have not actually finished it yet. But as I can attest from the 60% progress I have made, along with two of my close friends who recommended her in the first place, Siren Queen is a breath of fresh air in a genre that is understandably stifling at times. Interweaving the monstrous industry of Hollywood with actual monsters, Siren Queen explores the sacrifices made and prices paid for the chance at stardom and just being seen, all while embracing the monster society demands of us. Largely character-driven, this book has been a slower read than the rest, but its commentary on workers’ rights and inequalities, among other social issues often at the forefront of WASPish-run Hollywood, has kept me engaged since the start.

Content Warnings: racism, racial slurs, fatphobia, violence, family violence, homophobia, sexism, drug abuse, addiction.

#book recs #book recs 2022 #queer book recs #you will love what you have killed #Kevin Lambert #hell followed with us #Andrew Joseph White #angels before man #rafael nicolás #things have gotten worse since we last spoke #eric larocca #siren queen #nghi vo

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matttgirlies · 6 months ago

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Matt & Me🎀

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

a story heavily based on Priscilla Presley’s Book “Elvis & Me” based in the 1950’s - 1970’s.

fem! reader x singer! matt

disclaimer!! - in no way am i saying matt would ever support or do these kind of things, for the sake of the book certain unethical things do happen at times.

warnings - mentions of guns,, drug use,, threats,, mentions of affairs

y/nn = your nickname for any confusion🩷

Chapter 21

Putting together the best musicians, sound and lighting technicians, costumers, and choreographers, he was taking no chances this time. He scoured the music scene for the top sidemen in the business. Auditions were held and he handpicked each player—names such as James Burton, John Wilkinson, Ronny Tutt, Glen D. Hardin, Jerry Scheff. He loved the sound of the Sweet Inspirations, backup group for Aretha Franklin, and he hired them on the spot as a warmup act and to sing backup vocals. He also hired his favorite gospel group, the Imperial Quartet.

Before leaving Los Angeles, Matt rehearsed at RCA Sound Studios for ten days and then polished the act for a full week prior to the opening. It was the event of the summer in Vegas. Colonel Parker brought the preopening publicity to fever pitch. Billboards were up all over town. On the third floor of the International, administrative offices bustled with activity. No other entertainer coming into Vegas had ever stimulated this kind of excitement. The hotel lobby was dominated by Matt paraphernalia—pictures, posters, T-shirts, stuffed animals, balloons, records, souvenir programs. You’d think Barnum and Bailey were coming to town.

Back home there was also excitement as we girls discussed what we’d wear to the opening. “I want you to look extra special, Baby,” Matt said. “This is a big night for all of us.” I hit every boutique in West L.A. before finding just the right outfit.

Though it had been nine years since Matt had given a live performance, you never would have known it from his opening. The audience cheered the moment he stepped onstage and never stopped the entire two hours as Matt sang, “All Shook Up,” “Blue Suede Shoes,” “In the Ghetto,” “Tiger Man,” and “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” He mixed the old with the new, the fast and hot with the lyrical and romantic. It was the first time I’d ever seen Matt perform live. Wanting to surprise me, he had kept me from rehearsals. I was astounded. At the end he left them still cheering and begging for more.

Cary Grant was among the stars who came backstage to congratulate him after the show. But the most touching moment was when Colonel William arrived with tears in his eyes, wanting to know where his boy was. Matt came out of the dressing room and the two men embraced. I believe everyone felt their emotion in that moment of triumph.

I don’t think we slept that night. Nate Doe brought in all the newspapers and we read the rave reviews declaring, “Matt was great” and “He never looked or sang better.” He shared credit for his new success with all of us.

“Well, we did it. It’s going to be a long thirty days, but it’s going to be worth it if we get the reception we got last night. I may have been a real tyrant, but it was well worth it.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” we all agreed, laughing. “You were a tyrant.”

The International Hotel was delirious over Matt’s performance and the box-office receipts. The following day they signed a fiveyear contract with the Colonel for Matt to appear twice a year, usually around the same time, January and August, at the then unheardof salary of one million dollars a year.

Matt literally took over Las Vegas for the entire month he was there, playing to a packed house every show as thousands more were turned away. No matter where we looked, all we could see was the name Matt—on television, newspapers, banners, and billboards. The King had returned.

Initially, Matt’s triumph in Las Vegas brought a new vitality to our marriage. He seemed a different person. Once again, he felt confident about himself as a performer and he continued to watch his weight and work out every day at karate.

It was also the first time that I felt we were functioning as a team. I made several trips to New York, trying to find unique accessories for him to wear onstage. I bought scarves, jewelry, and a black leather belt with chain links all around it that Bill Belew would later copy for the famous Matt jumpsuit belts.

I loved seeing him healthy and happy again, and I especially enjoyed our early days in Vegas. The International provided an elegant three-bedroom suite that we turned into our home away from home. During his show I always sat at the same table down front, never tiring of watching him perform. He was spontaneous and one never knew what to expect from him.

On occasion, after his midnight show, we’d catch lounge acts of other performers playing Vegas or we’d gamble until dawn. Other times we’d relax backstage, visiting with entertainers captivated by his performance. This was the first time I’d been with Matt at a high point in his career.

With the renewed fame came renewed dangers. Offstage he could be guarded by Sonny and Red. Onstage he was a walking target. One night that summer Nate and Sonny were tipped off that a woman in the audience was carrying a gun and had threatened to shoot Matt. A true professional, Matt insisted on going on. Additional precautions were taken and everyone was on the alert. Matt was instructed to stay downstage, making himself a smaller target, and Sonny and Jerry were poised to jump in front of him at the slightest sign of suspicious movement in the audience. Red was positioned in the audience with the FBI agents.

The show seemed to take an eternity. I glanced at Patsy apprehensively and she in turn grasped my hand as we comforted each other, longing for the night to end without incident. James remained backstage, never letting Matt out of his sight and praying, “Dear God, don’t let anything happen to my son.”

Because of this and other threats, extra security was arranged wherever Matt appeared. Entrances through backstages, kitchens, back elevators, and side exits became routine.

Matt had his own theory about assassinations, based on the murders of the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert F. Kennedy. He felt that the assassins gloated over their “accomplishments,” and told his bodyguards that if any attempt were made on his life, they should get the killer—even before the police. He didn’t want anyone bragging to the media that they’d killed Matt Sturniolo.

Sonny and Red lived in so much tension these days that they were constantly frenzied. Suspicious in crowds of overzealous fans, they were quick to respond to any sign of danger. Compared to Sonny’s diplomacy, Red’s reputation was to act first and ask questions later. Eventually, numerous assault-and-battery charges started piling up against Matt. When James warned him about Sonny and Red’s aggressiveness, Matt said, “Goddamn, Red. I hired you to keep the sons of bitches away from me, not get me in any legal binds. Somehow you’re going to have to control that redheaded temper of yours.”

Although Matt would joke about the death threats—and there would be several more throughout the Vegas commitments—the fear and constant need for security heightened the pressure of nightly performing.

In the beginning when Matt began doing regular Vegas engagements, we girls visited frequently. We’d fly in over the weekend, sometimes bringing our children, spend three or four days, and then return home.

On the days we were apart I’d take hundreds of Polaroids and home movies of Charlotte. She was growing so rapidly I didn’t want him to miss out on her development. Daily he’d receive his “care packages,” as I’d refer to them, including tape recordings of me teaching Charlotte new words and Charlotte mimicking me. Each week, upon my arrival, I’d paste photos on the mirrors in his bedroom to remind him that he had a wife and child.

During his first couple of engagements he still seemed humbled by lingering doubts of whether the public was fully accepting him. At this point he had no interest in outside affairs or flirtations, his concentration on daily rehearsals and performances every evening excluding everything else.

Later he would become more cocky. The crowds’ admiration took him back to his triumphs in the early fifties and he found it hard to come down to earth after a month of nightly cheers. His name on the International’s huge marquee would be replaced by the next superstar. The offices on the third floor would be cleared out and incoming calls for reservations would stop.

Thriving on all the excitement, glamour, and hysteria, he found it difficult to go home and resume his role as father and husband. And for me the impossibility of replacing the crowd’s adoration became a real-life nightmare.

At home in Los Angeles, there was just the usual group around—strictly a family atmosphere. This abrupt change was too much for him and soon he developed the habit of lingering in Vegas for days, sometimes weeks, after a show. The boys were finding it increasingly difficult to resolve the conflict between working for Matt and maintaining a home life.

Crazed with inactivity and boredom, Matt became edgy and temperamental, a condition exacerbated by the Dexedrine he was again taking to control his weight.

Sometimes, to ease the transition home, Matt would insist we all pile into cars and head for Palm Springs. Since our marriage we had spent-many weekends there sunning and watching football games and late-night television, but after Charlotte was born, my needs changed. The Palm Springs heat was too much for her, the long drive boring, the idleness of resort life wearying. One weekend I suggested, “Matt, why don’t just you and the guys go down?”

From that time on, the guys developed their own lifestyle in our secluded desert home. Occasionally we wives would be invited to spend the weekend, but by and large, Matt now considered Palm Springs his private refuge.

He made it clear that this time away was good for him, giving him a chance to think, to hang out with the guys. In reality Matt was lost. He did not know what to do with himself after Vegas. He escaped in more powerful, unnecessary prescribed drugs to raise his spirits and ward off boredom.

After he had conquered Vegas, it was agreed that Matt should go back on the road. Colonel immediately began booking concert tours around the nation, starting with an impressive run of six sold-out shows in the Houston Astrodome, which earned over one million dollars in three nights.

The night I arrived in Texas to watch the performance, Amber, Judy, and I flew in on a private jet. I looked down on the Astrodome and found it hard to believe my eyes. The length of a football field—and already sold out. It made me nervous. I could imagine how Matt felt.

Matt too found the Astrodome overwhelming. “Goddamn,” he said when he first walked in. “They expect me to sell this son of a bitch out? It’s a goddamn ocean.”

However dwarfed he was by the giant facility, he electrified his audience. Houston was our first run-in with mass hysteria. The limousine was strategically parked by the stage door for Matt’s immediate getaway. Even so, screaming fans surrounded the car, frantically yelling out his name, presenting flowers, and trying to touch him.

If anything, Houston was an even greater victory than Vegas. The King of Rock and Roll was back on top. The strain of sustaining such a hype was just beginning and, for the moment, I could believe that everything would still be all right. I did not realize the extent to which Matt’s touring was going to separate us, that this in fact was the beginning of the end. After Houston Matt began crossing the country, making one-night stands, flying by day, trying to catch some sleep to maintain the high energy level demanded by his performances. From 1971 on, he toured more than any other artist—three weeks at a time with no days off and two shows on Saturdays and Sundays.

I missed him. We talked constantly of being together more, but he knew that if he let me join him, he couldn’t refuse the requests from regulars whose marriages were also feeling the strain of long separations. For a while a group of us would fly in from time to time, but this didn’t last long. Matt noticed that his employees were lax in discharging their duties to him when spouses were present, and he established a new policy: No wives on the road.

I didn’t really miss the one-night stands, a tedious routine at best: Jump off the plane, rush to the hotel, unpack as little as possible, since you had to check out the next day, go to the performance, then back to the hotel for a little rest before heading back to the airport. Everything was the same except for the name of the town.

It was the day Matt suggested I come to Vegas less often that I became really upset and suspicious. He’d decided that we wives would attend opening and closing nights only.

I knew then I’d have to fight for our relationship or accept the fact that we were now gradually going to grow apart as so many couples in show business do. As a couple, we’d never sat down to plan out a future. Matt, individually, was stretching as an artist, but as man and wife we needed a common reality.

The chances of our marriage surviving were slim indeed as long as he continued to live apart from Charlotte and me, and in bachelor quarters at that. It came down to how much longer I could stand the separation. Matt wanted to have his cake and eat it too. And now, as the tours and long engagements took him even further from his family, I realized that we might never reach my dreams of togetherness.

I had trouble believing that Matt was always faithful, and the more he kept us apart, the more my suspicions grew.

Now when we went to Vegas, I felt more comfortable at the openings. He was always preoccupied with the show and I felt he needed me then. On closing nights I always felt uneasy. Too many days had gone by, enough time for suspicions to poison my thoughts. The Vegas ma��tre d’s invariably planted a bevy of beauties in the front rows for the entertainer to play to. Curious, I would scan their faces while watching Matt closely to see if he seemed to direct his songs to any girl in particular. Suspicious of everyone, my heart ached—but we were never able to talk about it. It was to be accepted as part of the job.

Backstage one night James was jokingly negotiating for a key that had been tossed to Matt. She was an attractive middle-aged blonde—James’s type. Matt said, “Dad, you’ve got enough problems at home with one blonde. You certainly don’t need two.”

“Well, okay,” James said. “You’re going to have problems of your own if your wife goes out in the street looking like that.” I had begun wearing skimpy knit dresses and see-through fabrics that were daringly revealing. Steven and Charlie whistled and gave wolfcalls, while Matt proudly showed me off.

The jokes I played on him were also efforts to get his attention. One night, after he’d left early for a show, I put on a black dress with a black hood and an exceptionally low-cut back. When it came time for Matt to give away kisses to the girls in the audience—a regular part of his show—I went up to the stage. Instead of kissing me, he kept on singing his song, leaving me to stand there. With my hair hiding the dress strap around my neck, I appeared from the back to be nude from the waist up. I could hear the “oooh”s and “ahhhh”s of the audience. They were under the impression that a topless girl had cornered Matt and that he couldn’t figure out what to do.

I kept whispering to him, “Kiss me, kiss me, so I can sit down,” but he decided to turn the joke on me, and made me wait in the spotlight for the duration of the song. Planting a big kiss on my lips, he surprisingly introduced me to the audience. I felt a bit embarrassed and made my way back to my seat.

Later in the show he’d strut back and forth onstage, tease his audience, talk to them, tell them stories, even confide in them. “You know,” he’d say, “some people in this town get a little greedy. I know you folks save a long time to come and hear me sing. I just want you to know, as far as I’m concerned, there won’t be any exorbitant raise in price when you come back. I’m here to entertain you and that’s all I care about.”

Matt was having an ongoing love affair with his audience and the next time I was home alone I knew I had no choice but to start more of a life of my own.

It was with that thought in mind that Amber, my sister Michelle, and I planned a short trip to Palm Springs. In the course of the weekend I opened the mailbox to check the mail and found a number of letters from girls who had obviously been to the house, one in particular signed “Lizard Tongue.” My immediate response was disbelief, followed by outrage. I dialed Vegas and demanded that Nate find Matt and bring him to the telephone. When Nate said Matt was sleeping, I told him about the letters and insisted I speak to Matt. Nate promised that he would have Matt call as soon as he woke up. He did, but it was clear that Nate had filled him in on the situation and Matt had his explanation ready. He was totally innocent, the girls were just fans, they were out of their minds if they said they’d ever come to the house, and besides, it was their word against his. As usual, in the end I apologized for putting him on the spot, but things at this point were becoming too obvious.

He said, “Get out and do things while I’m gone, because if you don’t, you’re going to start getting depressed.”

Although my choices were limited—he still objected to my taking a job or enrolling in classes at college—I continued my dancing and started taking private art instruction.

Matt was a born entertainer and although he tried to avoid crowds, disliked restaurants, and complained he “couldn’t get out like a normal person,” this life-style suited him. He handpicked the people he wanted to be around him—to work with and travel withand they adjusted to his routine and his hours and his temperament. It was a pretty close clan throughout the years. A few arguments erupted and a few couples left over some misunderstandings, but they usually returned in a week or two.

My view of life had been fashioned by Matt. I had entered his world as a young girl and he had provided absolute security. He distrusted any outside influences, which he saw as a threat to the relationship, fearing they would destroy his creation, his ideal. He could never have foreseen what was happening as the consequence of his prolonged absences from home. A major period in my growth was beginning. I still feared our separations but felt that our love had no boundaries, that I was his and if he wanted me to change, I would. For years nothing had existed in my world but him, and now that he was gone for long stretches of time, the inevitable happened. I was creating a life of my own, starting to achieve a sense of security in myself, and discovering there was a whole world outside our marriage.

Over the years of playing Vegas, other pressures began to mount. There were more death threats and lawsuits, including alleged paternity suits and assault-and-battery charges. Jealous husbands claimed they’d seen Matt flirting with their wives, and others continued to charge that Sonny and Red were manhandling them. Matt began to get bored with these nuisances as well as with the sameness of the show. Inevitably, he tried to change the format, but then he felt it just didn’t have the same pacing as the original. He’d add a few songs here and there but then revert to the original. Pointed suggestions that he make changes before the next Vegas date added to the pressure.

Bored and restless, he increased his dependence on chemicals. He thought speed helped him escape from destructive thinking, when in reality it gave him false confidence and unnatural aggressiveness. He started losing perspective on himself and others. To me he became increasingly unreachable.

Excerpt from: "Elvis and Me" by Priscilla Beaulieu Presley. Scribd. This material may be protected by copyright.

a/n - welll..🎀

#matthew sturn #matt stuniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #Spotify

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colorisbyshe · 3 months ago

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Monthly Music 08/24 Hehehe

Albums/Multi Song Section:

Taemin released a mini album. Honestly, listen to all of it, even the more ballad-y fare but honestly... Sexy In the Air is a track EVERYONE should give a shot. It's what it says on the tin--sexy. Highlights: Horizon, if you like Kavinsky but want a kpop, energy-infused twist, try this out! (ITS A REACH BUT!!). Crush has some MJ-esque delivery that is very enthralling. Deju Vu is for the people who want to feel songs vibrate in their bones and in their [redacted]

Tinashe released her follow-up to the (superior) BB/Angel! My faves are No Simulation, Thirsty, When I Get You Alone, + No Broke Boys. Chill, alt R&B. Ethereal, sensual. Tinashe and Taemin should collab or at least do choreo to each other's songs tbh. NBB is a modern reimagining of No Scrubs

Foster the People is baack. BIASED REVIEW because I'm a longterm fan. See You in the Afterlife (oddly cunty??), Feed Me (cuntier except some of the instrumental could've been produced on Gene Belcher's random sound keyboard), Paradise State of Mind (Tame Impala knock off, mayhaps), & Glitchzig (discordant, extraterrestrial).

Fromis_9, a kpop group, has had a mini release. Here's a mini review: Supersonic & Beat the Heat have a throwback appeal. Simple, joyful pop with a non-obtrusive vocal power behind it. Talent wins <3

JPEGMAFIA released a new album and it's... beyond explanation? Alt hip hop with an amazing infusion of rock, gospel, dance elements. Dark, funny, slick as hell. Highlights: i scream this in the mirror before i interact with anyone, sin miedo (my fave, I think), don't rely on other men, vulgar display of power, Exmilitary (great use of samples), JPEGULTRA! (denzel!!!!!!!!! HORNS!!!!!!!!1), either on or off the drugs (one of my faves, absolutely), & loop it and leave it. If you're like "that's a lot of songs," okay well the entire album is good. 9.9/10 album

Recent Releases:

"Feel The Way" Peggy Gou. Just a solid dance track.

Ibibio Sound Machine's Black Notes is groovy and vocally ascendant.

"Leave" Low Hanging Fruits is Krock that feels straight out like... mid 2000s alt-pop rock. Just lively and lovely.

My blog title was taken from a Chase & Status song, so of course I need to shout out their collab with Stormzy, "Backbone." Just goes hard, is grimy as hell, and goes WUB WUB.

Want something that goes harder? Petit Brabancon, Japanese metal supergroup, is back and "Gankou" is... growling and intense and also just kinda fun.

Not here for music that might be a bit scary? "Edge of Saturday Night" The Blessed Madonna, Kylie Minogue is some eurodance to take the edge off.

If you like that track, try "Urallineed" by Jazzi Bobbi for some vaguely dancy indie pop. Love her voice.

This could've gone on the album review but honestly... Monkey Majik's new album is kinda Maroon 5-y and doesn't deserve a full shout out but give HYLMN a listen if you want to hear a fun, misremembered rip off of Blur's Song 2. Also, I guess the song Imposter.

"Check" by Flo is like... the kpop tracks inspired by Tinashe but... not kpop. Does that make sense? American, Fifth Harmony-esque song that feels like a kpop GG ripping off American Tinashe. A perfect feedback loop. Delectable.

"Out of Touch" Four Year Strong. Throwback, pop punk sound with a modern flourish.

"Nissan Altima" Doechii. As a Nissan driver, I had to rec this lmao. Great song, great flow, GET YA TITS SUCKED

"Tokyo" Sable Hills. Screamo :3 The guitar fucks

Older tracks: Keep Away by Carly Rae Jepsen (song to sway to), Bloom by Macico (the Japanese sound Harry styles tried to rip off), Thanks for Your Time by Gotye (dour and sensual) and Miss Fatty by Million Stylez (music to shake your ass to)

Posting this early because I know more music (Chungha, Bree Runway) is coming and uhhhh this post is already too full

#monthly music #sorry for the tinashe section beign so short #i just feel like i postabout her enough where like...y'all are either with it or you're not #y'unno?

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zinphandel · 8 days ago

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The Life of Pablo- Kanye West

hello again, its time for another kate rates dans favourite albums. Todays album is a fun, exciting, yet controversial one, we are listening to The Life Of Pablo by Kanye West!

Initial Thoughts?

• RIGHT let's get the obvious out of the way, Kanye West is a bad person. That being said if we separate the art from the artist (I'm unsure what my thoughts are on this as a concept but we move) you cannot deny that he is one of the greatest artists in hip-hop probably ever, his impact on music and producing is pretty unmatched, early kanye stuff is absolutely fantastic! In my opinion this is the last good kanye album. (fuck kanye west though)

Is this a first time full album listen through?

No! I've listened to this album before! not my favourite kanye album but definetly not my least favourite lol (looking @ u everything post 2018) lets get into it!

Listen through:

• Ultralight beam is fucking unreal sorry haters! production is gorgeous, fantastic opening to the album, the gospel choir is just soooo good, I'm not a chance the rapper fan but he is great on this track

• lol my relationship to this album is soooo entwined with when I would hate watch keeping up with the Kardashians bc this was like PEAK kim and kanye times, and I feel like this album was spotlighted so much on the show lmao

• Father stretch my hands pt 1 is also incredibly strong, kid cudi feature is fantastic. pt2 is less strong but still great, absolutely best if listened to as one song rather than seperately

• RIHANNNAAA god i love u and miss u please come back. 'Famous' is a good song but is difficult to separate from the taylor controversy of it all. iconic but probably not for the best reasons. Rihanna feature eats though, and the sample is fantastic and used perfectly used.

• feedback reminds me of yeezus kanye. looove it

• This album is brash, audacious and unapologetically kanye. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. Truly peak kanye 'i am a god' west

• The tracks are messy, some feel unfinished and I do not think anyone EXCEPT kanye could have put this out to critical acclaim. Despite this it is still great lol. Kanye's genius is his biggest downfall.

• This is a fantastic snapshot of 2016, the culture, music and landscape are preserved within the album

• When kanye is at his best (rapping really well over an incredible beat ) he is just so good, feedback 4 is a great example of this

• Waves is fantastic, its just RUINED by chris brown. knobhead. such an unfortunate feature because the track is beautiful.

• FML is sooooo good (but again it reminds me of KUWTK bc they would use it alllll the time lol)

• The album could defo use some editing, but like who is going to tell kanye west that lol

• Wolves the BEAUTY that u are. has to be listened b2b with Franks track for the ultimate listening experience in my opinion (franks track is obviously a 10 from me. u cant go wrong with frank ocean.)

• So unfortunate that i cant be a full time kanye hater when he makes good music

• Kendrick is fantastic on 'No more parties in LA' This album feels like an amalgamation of everything kanye has done before- and spotlights the features brilliantly, tbh they may actually overshadow kanye in a lot of the songs.

• This album is shamelessly kanye, for better or for worse.

Favourite song(s)?

ultralight beam, feedback, wolves (plus franks track)

Least favourite song?

i love kanye, its iconic but feels like the beginning of the kanye downfall

Would i listen again?

yeah, i would, not my favourite body of work but it is great. it could have been fantastic with some editing n my opinion

Do i recommend?

its not the kanye project i would recommend- but it is defo worth the listen, especially with the cultural context

What would I rank it out of 10?

7.5/10

read my 2015 reviews here

read the rest of the my 2016 reviews here

listen to the playlist of highlights from dans favourite albums here

#dan and phil #phan #dnp #dan howell #phil lester #amazing phil #dan album review: 2016 #dan album review #kate zinphandels dan howell album of the year review and rating

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rabbitechoes · 3 months ago

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wow!!! august was a pretty stacked month for new releases and it seems like september will be pretty busy too. there were quite a few great records this month - one being my current album of the year. also trying out a new format so these posts will be easier to navigate. i've started linking to the full reviews on my rym page instead of just pasting them over here. i figure it's much easier to get through that way!! to check out my thoughts on some of the songs that dropped this month click here!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

Imaginal Disk - Magdalena Bay

🥇 BEST ALBUM OF THE MONTH

◇ released: Aug. 23, 2024 ◇ genres: neo-psychedelia, synthpop, chillwave, dance-pop

to call it a triumph would be an understatement, the sophomore album from Magdalena Bay is a delicately detailed experience that doubles as an immensely enjoyable pop record. to put it simply, i'm feeling diskinserted 💿

my review of Imaginal Disk

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Sky Hundred - Parannoul

◇ released: Aug. 3, 2024 ◇ genres: shoegaze, noise pop, emo, indietronica

on his strongest album yet, Parannoul further refines his sound without sacrificing the scrappiness that made his music so endearing in the first place. my review of Sky Hundred

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NO NAME - Jack White

◇ released: July 19, 2024 / Aug. 2, 2024 ◇ genres: garage rock revival, hard rock, garage punk

Jack White has crafted a staggering garage rock record that perfectly soundtracks a world on fire. my review of NO NAME

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Wild God - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

◇ released: Aug. 30, 2024 ◇ genres: singer-songwriter, art rock, gospel, baroque pop

unlike the more meditative approach of 2019's Ghosteen, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds return with a renewed sense of urgency and a striking crop of songs that are sure to make u feel something. my review of Wild God

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cheshire days - ashley ninelives

◇ released: Aug. 10, 2024 ◇ genres: glitch pop, neo-psychedelia, synthpop

the long-awaited new album from ashley ninelives is filled to the brim with exciting ideas and vibrant production that's easy to get lost in.

my review of cheshire days

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I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU - JPEGMAFIA

◇ released: Aug. 1, 2024 ◇ genres: experimental hip hop, hardcore hip hop, rap rock

JPEGMAFIA is here to stay … whether u like it or not. my review of I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU

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Romance - Fontaines D.C.

◇ released: Aug. 23, 2024 ◇ genres: indie rock, alternative rock, post-britpop

Fontaines D.C. shed their gothic veneer in favor of warmer sounds on their new record, while unfortunately stumbling into style over substance territory amidst a few incredible tunes.

my review of Romance

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Flight b741 - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

◇ released: Aug. 9, 2024 ◇ genres: boogie rock, roots rock, blues rock

the refreshing collaborative spirit of this new King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard record is its biggest strength, but not enough to make this an essential project in their vast discography. my review of Flight b741

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Paradise State of Mind - Foster the People

◇ released: Aug. 16, 2024 ◇ genres: synthpop, nu-disco, chillwave

the fourth album from Foster the People, my favorite band when i was in 6th grade, is an existential ode to synth funk and disco of the 70s/80s that sounds great, but doesn't leave much of a lasting impression.

my review of Paradise State of Mind

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Quantum Baby - Tinashe

◇ released: Aug. 16, 2024 ◇ genres: alternative r&b, trap soul, pop rap

the second installment in Tinashe's BB/ANG3L trilogy is a substantial step down from the first primarily due to its reliance on more mainstream pop/r&b sounds.

my review of Quantum Baby

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Cellophane Memories - Chrystabell & David Lynch

◇ released: Aug. 2, 2024 ◇ genres: ambient pop, ethereal wave, ambient, drone

David Lynch always has a strong vision for what he wants to convey in his art, but unfortunately, this new collaboration with Chrystabell isn't one of his most worthwhile endeavors. my review of Cellophane Memories

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Short n' Sweet - Sabrina Carpenter

◇ released: Aug. 23, 2024 ◇ genre: pop

Sabrina Carpenter's new album should be a bold statement priming her to be the next big thing, but instead it just falls into the same exhausted clichés we've all come to expect with big mainstream pop releases.

my review of Short n' Sweet

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Aghori mhori mei - Smashing Pumpkins

◇ released: Aug. 2, 2024 ◇ genre: alternative rock

Smashing Pumpkins' surprise new album isn't as horrible as their garish rock opera ATUM, but it's just as self-indulgent and outright boring as what we’ve come to expect from the band.

my review of Aghori mhori mei

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F-1 Trillion (Long Bed) - Post Malone

◇ released: Aug. 16, 2024 ◇ genres: contemporary country, country pop

Post Malone sticks out like a sore thumb in every genre he inhabits and that continues to be the case with his first full-length country album - his worst record thus far by a considerable margin.

my review of F-1 Trillion (Long Bed)

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Vultures 2 - Ye & Ty Dolla $ign

◇ released: Aug. 3, 2024 ◇ genres: pop rap, trap, alternative r&b

Ye and Ty Dolla Sign return with a disastrous album full of anthems for divorced dads who were most certainly in the wrong.

my review of Vultures 2

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Popular Monster - Falling in Reverse

◇ released: Aug. 16, 2024 ◇ genres: alternative metal, trap, rap metal

no.

my review of Popular Monster

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this section will be used on occasion to briefly discuss projects i didn't write full reviews for, but i still think are worth checking out. beginning with ...

Sophcore - Moses Sumney

A decent EP, but I would be lying if I said I was a little letdown. Still very pleasant on the ears, just lacking in substance. Sumney still has a very striking voice. Here's hoping the next project is a bit more substantial.

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Some Songs I Wish I Wrote Vol. 1 - This Is The Glasshouse

I didn't have high expectations for a covers EP, but this one really floored me. I really loved his album from last year, As Small As Ants, and it seems as though he's only getting better. He has a really good ear for layered instrumentation, it's certainly this EP's strongest aspect. The arrangements for his cover of Xiu Xiu's "Sad Pony Guerilla Girl" and Steve Reich's "Clapping Music" were big highlights in particular. Definitely give this a listen!

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The Vault - Maruja

A few months after their Connla's Well EP, Maruja surprise dropped a compilation full of improv jam sessions. It's a bit of an undertaking, but for those who are fans of the band this is definitely a treat. There are so many cool instrumental passages here and it brilliantly showcases how many brilliant ideas are swarming around when the band is in the studio. Their chemistry is off the charts. Here's hoping we get some weird jam stuff on their full-lenght debut, whenever that comes out.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thanks for reading :3

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walker-extended-universe · 1 month ago

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Sammy Reborn, Chapter 4

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Tags/Warnings: Kidnapping, Brainwashing, Stockholm Syndrome, Delusional Dean Winchester

Summary: Cordell brings the tracker into the fold and August settles into his new life

Written for @whumptober Day 18: Loss of Identity

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

--------------------

Cordell flipped through the file on Colter Shaw. He had to admit, the man had an impressive record and nothing but positive reviews. On paper, he was the perfect person to trust to find his son.

But Cordell had dealt with plenty of these mercenary types before. The private investigators, the citizen police, rewardists- whatever they might call themselves, they tended to operate the same. Stomp all over the investigation, act like they were smarter than the cops, and usually end up causing trouble that could’ve been avoided if they had basic respect for protocol. He wasn’t sure he could trust someone like that with something as precious as his family.

But the FBI wasn’t making progress and he wasn’t allowed to do his own investigation, not without James breathing down his neck. Not that he’d be able to do much investigating in fucking Kansas as a Texas Ranger. He could take a leave of absence and do whatever he wanted but without department resources, it would be a difficult job. He’d need at least one partner to help and he couldn’t ask Cassie or Trey to put their careers on hold like that.

So, where did that leave him?

He could wait for the FBI, he could risk his badge, or he could make a phone call.

He looked at his watch. It was 3AM and he was no closer to finding August now than he had been when Cassie gave him this file.

How long could August afford to wait for him to make the right call?

Without another moment of hesitation, he dialed the number on the file. What else did he have to lose?

—--------------

Sammy was slowly learning himself again.

Dean had moved him out of the dungeon after his little health scare and he was doing better. He was keeping his food down and he stopped arguing with his big brother. It wasn’t much, but it was progress.

There was still so much for Dean to teach him. He had to learn how to use a gun, how to exorcize a demon, and more. But Dean was happy to teach him. That’s what big brothers are for.

But Sammy was talking to him and listening to him and clinging to his every word like it was gospel, the way he used to. He didn’t talk back or refuse his name or ask to go back “home”. That was a good enough start to keep him out of the dungeon, though it would be a while before he would let Sam out into the world again. Sam just needed to prove himself a little more. Then maybe they could go hunting again.

But for now, Dean would content himself with this. He set a proper burger in front of Sam. “Eat up, man. You’re too skinny.”

Sam looked up at him, only giving him a slight bitchface before digging in. “Thanks,” he said, muffled by the burger.

“Dude, don’t talk while you’re eating. I raised you better than that.”

Sammy made a show of swallowing before continuing. “I know,” he murmured. “Thank you.”

Dean ruffled his hair. “Hey, man, what are big brothers for?”

—-----------------

Cordell Walker had been a Texas Ranger for over a decade. He had an impressive case closure rate and his superiors praised him for his work ethic. He married his high school sweetheart soon after he retired from the military and was a father of two. He was a well respected member of the community and a badass with a badge.

All the information Colter Shaw and his team had dug up on the ranger didn’t manage to prepare him for how intense Walker’s gaze was. They were sitting in a bar and Cotler felt like he was handcuffed in an interrogation room.

“So, could you tell me a little more about this case? Your email didn’t say much besides what you were willing to pay.” Normally, he wouldn’t have even taken a job like this, but the paycheck was too good to turn down and his gut told him it was the right move regardless.

Cordell nodded and pulled out a file, passing it across the table to Colter. “My son was kidnapped by a dangerous psychopath a few weeks ago. The FBI is actively on the case, but they’re not making any headway and the furthest we’ve gotten in the investigation is that this guy has a base somewhere in Kansas. Since I can’t work on the investigation myself and the FBI is going nowhere, I took a chance on you. I want you to find my son, and I want to go with you when you do it.”

Colter read over the file while Cordell talked. Just looking at Dean Winchester’s rap sheet made him shiver. Getting August out of there as soon as possible was a priority, but he wasn’t sure he was the right guy to call. Colter specialized in tracking and that did sometimes involve dealing with some level of psychopaths, but this was a whole different league of crazy. “This isn’t the kind of job I normally get called for,” he said carefully. “Rescuing a teenager from a serial killer is really more in the FBI’s wheelhouse.”

“And, as I just explained to you, the FBI isn’t making a lot of progress on that front,” Cordell emphasized. “I understand your normal jobs are more…tame. I do. And I know I took a risk calling you. But nothing is being done in the office and I can’t just sit on my ass while God knows what is happening to my son. My only other resort is just going at this on my own, and I’m still somewhat level-headed enough to know that’s a terrible idea.” He sighed. “I need help. If you want more money I can-”

“Don’t worry about that,” Colter said. “The offer you gave me is more than generous, and I assure you I only collect upon success. I just want you to be aware that this isn’t my normal wheelhouse, nor is working with a partner.”

“I know. I know. But I had to try.”

“And I’m going to help you,” Colter promised. “I’ll do whatever I can to bring your son home.”

Cordell smiled, relief flooding his features. “Thank you. When do we start?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

—---------------

August was just playing along. He was responding to “Sammy”, he was laughing at the right jokes, he was eating the right food, and reading the right books. It wasn’t anything serious. He was just playing along long enough for Dad to find him, that’s all.

It was a safety precaution. He’d learned the hard way that actually trying to get away wouldn’t do him any good. It was self-preservation, that’s all. Just staying alive and trying to stay sane in this completely insane situation.

Dean slowly started to trust him more, so the leash was let out bit by bit. Dean would leave the bunker for supplies and to make phone calls he didn’t want August to hear. And he would sit in the library and read the books that Dean would smile at him reading while he waited for Dean to come back.

After another week, Dean started showing him around more of the bunker and teaching him how to use the guns in the shooting range. August already knew how to use most of them thanks to his Texas heritage, but it was good practice anyway. He made note of where Dean got the key to the gun room from. Maybe, with a little more patience, he’d have a way out. If he could stomach hurting another person that way.

So he bided his time, laughed at every joke, ate every hamburger, and responded to every “Sammy”. And Dean rewarded him with time alone and the occasional trip outside. The more Dean trusted him, the more brotherly he acted, asking him for his opinions on different songs or books and ribbing him for his answers.

He should’ve been scared, but it was almost enjoyable to have someone care so much. It’s not like he got much of it at home, what with everyone having a million concerns besides him. It was nice to be in the center of attention sometimes. It was nice to be praised. It was nice to see his efforts rewarded. Not that he was enjoying it here…. He did want to go home. But still.

Then, one day, he passed a test he hadn’t even been studying for.

He always kept an ear out for Dean when they were in the bunker. Even if Dean was on the other side of the place, he seemed to have a shortcut to every room, so it was important to be on alert. He was in the library, as usual, when he heard Dean come in. Dean was saying something, but he hadn’t heard anything important yet, so he ignored it.

“August?”

“It’s October 18th,” he muttered in reply. What was with the random date question?

“That so, Sammy?”

Sam looked up from his book. “Yeah? Why?”

Dean smiled. “Nothing. What do you want for lunch?”

Sam shrugged. “Same thing we always have, I guess.”

“Alright. Grill’s on!”

Sam rolled his eyes and followed his brother to the kitchen. Someone had to make sure the place didn’t burn down….

#whumptober2024 #no. 18 #loss of identity #fic #walker #supernatural #tracker #my writing #my fic #updated fic

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mormonbooks · 1 year ago

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Stripling Warrior

4/5 STARS

Summary: This collection of comics (3 issues and an Annual) has the worlds first ever Gay Mormon Superhero! In fact, it has a lot of different Queer and Mormon (or Mormon-adjacent) characters, all fighting against injustice.

The main character, Sam Shepherd, gets visited by an Angel soon after marrying his husband Jase. The Angel (Abish from the Book of Mormon) calls him to be The Hand of God and punish sinners. He fights homophobes, misguided missionaries, and Cain himself, alongside his companion, Fe, who also received powers from Abish.

Read at your own risk: This book is has a complex approach to mormonism, as well as deceptions of queer sex (Not explicit but pretty nsfw). I think it's a lot of fun, and is an honest portrayal of queer mormon experiences, with fun fantastical versions of Mormon beliefs (Like a Holy Ghost Force Field).

Overall, I enjoyed it! I've been dying for a Mormon Superhero, and queer mormon superheroes are even better. I would love to see more stories with Sam, Fe, Jase, Shonda, and Riley in the future.

Spoilers and Review Breakdown Under the Cut

1. Well written - 3.5 Stars.

Overall, I think the writing is done well. Some of it is cheesy, and there are a couple of deus ex machina's but it feels like it fits in the genre and with what the comic is trying to do.

2. Fun level - 4.5 Stars

I really enjoyed it! I read the whole thing in one sitting and it was engaging and exciting and it made me laugh.

3. Complex faith - 3.5 Stars

This one is complicated to answer. This definitely feels like media aimed at ex-mormons. Most of the characters are Ex (or "Jack") Mormons, and don't have high regard for the church as an organization. They do believe in Angels and Heavenly Mother (cause that's where their power comes from) but the church officials (like mission presidents) are shown as villains. It's a very irreverent story. And there's a part in the last issue where Heavenly Mother and Heavenly Father are pitted against each other that I didn't really like.

The only exception is Riley, an asexual missionary who states his firm testimony a couple of times. He is one of the heroes, but still firmly believes in the gospel.

I like it because it has characters from all over the spectrum of mormonism (from actively serving a mission to "my parents were mormon but we don't really talk about it" and everything in between), which I think is cool, but it's also definitely got an exmo bias.

4. Homophobia scale - 5 stars

it's so gay!!!!! They have a character for each letter of LGBTA, it's delightful.

It is also NSFW. Nothing explicit (?) but characters are often naked, and the two married couples are shown being intimate quite a few times. I don't normally love stories like that, but for a comic that is about the sacredness of queer intimacy, I understand why it's included.

5. Mormon weird - 5 stars

SOOO much mormon weird. Abish is an angel. The heroes have Liahona Guides. The big villains are Cain and Ammon. It's so much fun.

6. Diversity of characters - 4 stars!

The main character and his husband are both white guys, but Fe is latina, her wife is black (and trans!), and Riley is a POC.

7. Other problematic stuff - 3 stars

I love this comic but I don't think it's for everyone. On top of being irreverent and nsfw, it also incorporates some indigenous american culture into the mythos in ways I'm not sure about. This is going to happen with anything that talks about Nephites and Lamanites, but mostly I don't know why Ammon has a pet Quetzalcoatl. 🤷

But, like I said, I did enjoy it. I think there's a lot of potential in these characters and I would love to see more stories with them

#mormon representation #mormon #lds #book review #Stripling Warrior #brian andersen #james neish #exmo #gay mormon superhero #queer mormon #sam shepherd #fe fernandez

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married-2-the-music · 11 months ago

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K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Jonghyun

Since this is a very special review, I wanted to start off not with my “credentials” or with a disclaimer but with a story. I’ve been a casual k-pop fan since early 2019 and a deeper fan since March of the year after, when I discovered Red Velvet. In late November of 2020, during lockdown, I lost one of the people I loved most in the world. I was still a teenager (barely younger than Jonghyun was when he debuted in SHINee), and I felt alone and isolated, and I became depressed. And just three weeks later, on December 18th, I was scrolling on social media when I came across posts memorializing Jonghyun. I had heard him mentioned, through Yeri of RV, but had never taken the time to listen, and I finally did.

I saw people mourning, people celebrating, and most of all, people remembering. The k-pop world had just lost two more idols to suicide, Sulli and Hara, and the messages surrounding mental health had never been stronger. It was this that got through to me, like a lightbulb going off, and I went, “Shit, I think I have depression.” And I started taking medication. Now, I’m not going to credit him with saving my life because I have no idea what would’ve happened, but I try to continue what he did for me. But all I can do is what all of us can do, which is remember who he was, respect the art he created, and continue the great advocacy he started. So, in this review, I’m trying to do all three, and I’d love it if you came along with me.

Crazy (Guilty Pleasure) is first on the list, and immediately had me feeling nostalgic. There’s something about his voice that’s so instantly recognizable, and a song like this that oscillates between his more subdued style and the strong emotions of the chorus fits it so well. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the rap, probably because of the vocalizing behind it, which helped it blend in seamlessly. On the whole, I liked this one! Its strings and immaculate sense of drama reminded me of Taylor Swift’s Don’t Blame Me.

Deja Boo begins with Jonghyun’s classic sound of smooth R & B and his crooning voice. I enjoyed the constant starting and stopping of the instrumental, as it made what could be a boring song far more interesting, and while I’m not usually a fan of rapping or choruses so heavy on vocalizing, I actually liked both here, since they felt like they were there because they fit the song and not because someone thought that they “should” be. The “Okay, next” at the end gave me a good chuckle

It’s a testament to how strong this first EP is that, before this deep dive, I had no idea which of these songs were actually the title track. Beautiful Tonight’s distinctive whistling hook, Hallelujah’s beautiful gospel choir back-up, and Love Belt’s gentle words (and references to a real car accident that Jonghyun was in) all do something unique with what could be such simple R & B melodies, ensuring that the piece feels cohesive but never same-y. My favorite was definitely Neon, though, whose funky catchiness snuck up on me, and I ended up replaying it twice.

End Of A Day has always been one of my favorite singles of Jonghyun’s, and I’m not alone. There are few songs as heartfelt, and led by only his quiet, comforting voice and a gentle piano, it feels like a warm hug from someone you love. Telling the listener to “lean on my shoulder” and “let me cheer you up”, it features Jonghyun at perhaps his most earnest. I paused what I was doing for a few minutes just to appreciate the peace that this one radiates, and take a deep breath in and out.

The Collection “Story Op.1” is so called because it was written by Jonghyun based on the stories the listeners of his radio show Blue Night confided in him; it’s a very special album for that reason, because it truly feels like a group effort between him and fans. I enjoyed U & I’s sprightly piano, interesting percussion, and cozy guitar, Diphylleia Grayi’s gorgeously sad lyrics and strings, the falling rain sound effects and comfortable energy of 02:34 (which I think was my favorite), and the interpolated phone conversation in Maybe Tomorrow. This is one of my favorite albums of his, and has some of his most excellent imagery.

She Is, despite being super popular, is not a song of his I’ve listened to much. It leans more into funk and is lighter than his other singles (Crazy, End Of Day, Lonely, and Shinin’), being about having a crush. It’s a nice break from the sadder and darker aspects of his discography, and it’s also really catchy. I even liked the sing-talk aspects, though my favorite part was definitely the vocalizing in the post-choruses.

From the She Is album, I liked the “you, you, you” and finger-snapping in White T-Shirt, the ethereal quality of Moon, the layers of falsetto vocalizing in Aurora, the intentional vocal fry and minimalistic background of Cocktail, the sped-up quality of Red, and the vulnerability in Suit Up.

I admit that when listening to the She Is album, a part of me had forgotten the reason I was doing this review in the first place, but Lonely had me remember immediately. Lonely is, in hindsight, both gut wrenching and haunting, with its lyrics about feeling isolated and alone. It’s a beautiful song, don’t get me wrong—the piano is so lovely and Taeyeon and Jonghyun’s voices work beautifully together, each making the other sound richer—but it’s one of those tracks that you just can’t listen to more than once in a while.

The Collection “Story Op.2” follows where the first collection left off, with more stories inspired by the callers on his radio show. I enjoyed the calm guitar of 1000 and the gentle groove of Just Chill, but Let Me Out has been one of my favorite songs since the first time I heard it. It’s one of the most genuine, gripping, painfully open k-pop ballads I’ve seen, and it never fails to make me want to reach through the screen and say “No.”. Overall, though, this album is definitely a more subdued and peaceful album, although I might be imagining more melancholy with the benefit of hindsight.

Less than eight months after the release of his second collection was, again, December 18th, 2017. It’s a day that’s become so infamous that in the k-pop community just saying “December 18th” will likely get your message across. It gives me no joy to say that he had a plan; his last album, Poet | Artist was released just a month after he left the world; a final gift to the fans who had watched him grow up for both so long and not nearly long enough.

Shinin’ is the single from the album, and uses a glowing, minimalistic electronic synth background that expands with some percussion in its choruses. Jonghyun’s voice is at some of its smoothest here. It’s one of those songs that’s happy and sad at the same time, and its happiness feels…muted? It’s hard not to be emotional when the song ends with “always be with you, you, you.” Without the story behind it, it’s a simple love song. With it, it’s a promise that he’s managed to keep for the last six years. I do admit that I got a good laugh out of the super 80’s animation, though.

Before Our Spring wasn’t intended to be a single, but after his passing, SM Entertainment decided to make it a tribute video for him. It follows in the footsteps of End Of Day, as it’s a peaceful, piano-led ballad, but undeniably heartbreaking: “Before spring comes, before the sun rises, I’ll meet you when everyone is asleep. I’m okay, don’t worry, spring will come to me too.” I hope it does. Depending on the day, sometimes I listen to it and feel comforted, and sometimes I listen to it and just feel heartbroken. Thankfully, watching it with the video made it just a little easier. It’s good to hear him laugh.

Poet | Artist is Jonghyun’s last, posthumous album, and is one of his strongest. I loved the disco-y synths of Only One You Need, the tongue-in-cheek humor of #Hashtag, the chorus’ explosion in Grease, the ethereal encouragement in Take The Dive, the brighter and funkier delivery of Sightseeing, and the quietly anthemic quality of Just For A Day.

My top 5 songs from Jonghyun are End Of Day, Only One You Need, Take The Dive, Hallelujah, and U & I, with Neon and Let Me Out as honorable mentions. Jonghyun’s work gets a 9.25 out of 10 from me, which is probably about as surprising as TWICE announcing a comeback. In all seriousness though, I know that I’m super biased, but hey, we started with a sob story and that’s how we’re going to end.

I can’t really put into words the feelings I have about this review. Writing it has reminded me how grateful I am, not only that I found Jonghyun and his story, not only that I became a Shawol, but that I became a k-pop fan in general. As Jonghyun wrote in his book (which I haven’t been able to find a full English translation of yet, but I’m still trying), “Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.”

Jonghyun broke boundaries in k-pop, with his openness, his self-producing, his prolific writing, and his advocacy. Both our community and the world as a whole was very lucky to have him for as long as we did, which still wasn’t nearly long enough. He changed the lives of so many people—he changed mine, without me even knowing who he was at the time he passed away—and overall, he made the world just a little easier for everybody else, no matter how hard it was for himself. All this is to say, he did very, very well.

I’ll be taking a break next week because it’s the holidays, so I’ll see you again in the new year for a girl group, folks. Thank you so much for reading, and please, take care. Tschüss, und Fröhliche Weihnachten (Happy Holidays)!

#k-pop #review #k-pop deep dive #k pop boy groups #Jonghyun #SHINee #Onew #Taemin #Minho #key #shining #Shinin #let me out #lonely #end of day #she is #depression #tw: suicide mention #Spotify

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kingdoms-and-empires · 1 month ago

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Adoriel's Tears Review

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

@adoriels-tears-if

Synopsis:

Adoriel's Tears are a gift.

A light offered to the inhabitants of Terrybiël to end the conflicts that oppress the Four Peoples and eradicate the evil that was crawling on the continent.

But every light has its shadow and sometimes gifts are poisonous. For if magic comes from the heart, it takes a soul to master it, and fortunate are those who manage to find it. Without a counterpart, without a familiar, a Tear is nothing.

Just a curse. A child of madness. The darkness on Terrybiël. What must be destroyed before they destroy you.

Adoriel's Tears are a gift. At least for the others.

You're long past the point where your heart and soul should be singing together, and yet you're gifted. That's what made you lose everything you had as a child. Now, an opportunity presents itself. Should you take it, is it the right thing to do?

Without a soul and with a magic you can't control, the journey will be a risky one.

Especially since the smell of madness and blood is getting heavier and heavier on Terrybiël. Will you be able to fix everything, to find what you're looking for? Nothing is less sure.

And yet, this voice is calling you, whispering:

Come ! Come to me ! Come to me and don't be afraid.

Review:

The Good: Tobias is Ken, do not fight me on this.

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Also, i wasnt aware what Snow was until i looked it up:

SO FREAKING CUTE!

Anyways, I had a lot of fun with this one. It lures you into a false sense of security and wholesomeness only to abruptly show the player and MC the reality of the world. That their mother had been protecting them for a reason. The family dynamics, relationships between characters, and drama crafted got me in my feels enough to care! I also got to name my plushie rabbit Optimus Prime, which was fucking hilarious:

Also i had alot of fun with the parental drama the MC can have with their father

Ashleyn:

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And with his fuckboi bros:

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Adoriel's Tears does that thing really well, that thing that lets the reader fill in the blanks and make up their own assumptions for the characters until we actually meet them. Plus it lets us act out and be brats so we can break the hearts of all the adults around us that try their best!

Also there's moments like this:

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That honestly just adds that bit of humor that works without cause friction for the rest of the tone.

There was also a specific passage that felt emotionally charged and intense. Youll know what im talking about once you reach it, because it is very memorable. Without spoiling, it feels like justice coming forth to smite those that have wronged you.

The Bad: I know that Chapter 1 is a transfer from the original Choicescript, and it shows. The author has already expressed wanting to polish and clean it up, which i think is the right step as the second chapter and onwards have a clear jump in quality. There were numerous spelling and grammatical errors, but given that chapter 1 is four years old, and that the author is not a native English speaker (is French) that can be excused and fixed. I was able to submit errors I came across, so the author will be able to fix what i found in a future update. I do recommend that those who play any IF out there to submit anything they find as authors need us to beta test! Their eyes literally begin to glaze over the words theyve seen for the thousandth time lol.

The Ugly: I encountered moments where the MC feels very sensitive and too friendly, or the opposite where the choices can give an extreme negative reaction in response. I'd like for the inclusion of a more middle ground MC. In addition to that, there where times where my immersion (self insert, remember) broke as my boy MC felt too "feminine" without letting us choose to act it or not. Idk how to describe it other than that lol, but it stood out to me.

The Aftermath: I would recommend this to anyone that wants a good family dynamic/drama, and if characters and their relationships with each other are important to you. There's a lot of promise, potential, and "oh shit" moments that can/will happen (18+ tag, remember?) that only leaves me wanting more. The worldbuilding done allows for some really gripping story telling, and from what we see so far, itll impact the story. Seriously, the worldbuilding here is unique, and WILL stand out as we keep seeing the same ole same ole elsewhere in this genre. It's a fantasy story that keeps itself grounded by using likable characters who have realistic flaws that provide entertainment for us.

#interactive fiction #twine wip #interactive novel #if review

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