#God. I am so glad that this is finally done. It was eating me for the most of this month. NOW OBSERVE THE FRUITS OF MY VERY STUPID LABOR

[0x1000]

IT IS DONE. It's been a while since I've written anything Ultrakill—and boy, did I write. 17k words worth of hot angel on sad old man action and/or wacky Hell politics. Give it a read, if you're completely insane!

[stark-ironman]

request: having your first time with hugh??

Night to Remember

18+ only No Minors

Warnings: some dirty talk, oral (f recieving), smut, choking, unprotected sex, a little bit of praise kink, hint of aftercare at the end.

"Want to come over tonight for dinner?"

Those words have been replaying repeatedly in your head since Hugh asked you out on a date tonight. You both had just finished a press tour for your new movie coming out and as you two were saying your goodbyes, Hugh nervously asked you to come over to his apartment. It was honestly cute seeing him all nervous and flustered plus it made you extremely happy that he still wanted to be around you.

The drive from the hotel to his place seemed too long, but it honestly was no more than ten minutes, and you had to stop yourself from running to the elevator.

Taking a deep breath, you knock on his door and he opens it a few moments later with a huge smile on his face. "Y/N! Ah, I'm so glad you made it." He exclaims, giving you a hug and a kiss on the cheek. You step inside, looking around at his apartment with approval. "I'm honestly surprised you wanted me to come over. Especially after the amount of time we've spent together the past year." You chuckle as he leads you into the kitchen.

"Well I plan on continuing to spend as much time as I can with you." He says with a smile, causing you to blush a deep shade of red on your cheeks. "What are we having?" You ask, trying to change the subject. "I made you my famous steak dinner." He winks, setting the plates on the table as your eyes widen in shock.

"Hugh, there's no way I can eat all this steak!" You exclaim causing him to laugh. "The amount of times I've seen you down a steak or tons of chicken wings, you're going to tell me you can't eat this?" His joke causes you to cover your face and let it a groan.

"I was drunk both times I done that and if you remember, I was hovered over the toilet that next morning praying to the gods above to take away the pain I was going through." You take a sip of your wine, watching him looking at you with a shine in his eyes.

"You threw up all over me that morning and I held your hair back while you did." He remembers. You shudder and hold your hand up. "We promised not to bring that up again." You try to scold but he just smiles at you.

The dinner is spent with jokes and laughs then Hugh cleans up while you sit on the couch, since he wouldn't let you help, and you can't help but feel your heart skipping several beats at the thought of being with Hugh alone. "I'm finally back, hopefully you didn't miss me too much." He winks as he sits down next to you, placing his arm behind you on the couch.

"You know I always miss you when you're not around." You flirt, suddenly feeling confident about yourself. Hugh smirks as he scoots closer. "I must say, I really was glad you agreed to come here tonight. You've been on my mind since we filmed our first scene together." His voice is low, full of lust as his fingers card through your hair. "What have you thought about?" You ask, leaning into his touch.

"Are you sure you want to know?" You nod and he continues, "I've thought about everything. Your smile, your laugh, how you're always so positive about everything, how lucky I am to get to know someone as amazing and beautiful as you but deep down.." His hand caresses your cheek as he looks into your eyes, "I think about the way your moans would sound as I'm eating out your cunt.. how your hands would run through my hair and pull on it.. how you would look cumming all over my cock.." Hugh's words shoot electricity through your body, straight to your core as you try to keep a straight face but he can tell his words have done something to you.

"Do you want this as much as I do?" He asks, moving until he's right next to you. You nod again but he shakes his head, "Words, darling. I need verbal conformation." His voice is stern but gentle and you can feel a pool forming in between your legs. "I want this, Hugh. Please." You shyly tell him, running your hand up his arm as the hand on your cheek pulls you closer.

His lips collide with yours and you swear the world stops, a content moan falls from Hugh as he deepens the kiss, pushing you back on the couch until he's on top of you. He pulls back slightly, his lips puffy from the kiss, looking you in your eyes. "You tell me to stop at anytime and I will. Okay?" He tells you and you give him the okay to continue, his lips reconnecting as his hips grind against yours.

You moan against his lips, his tongue immediately sliding in your mouth and swirling around yours, feeling his erection through both of your pants. He palms your breasts over your shirt as he grinds his hips harder into yours.

"Fuck, your moans already sound so beautiful and I haven't even fully done anything yet.." Hugh grunts, wrapping his arms around you as he picks you up and carries you to his bedroom. He throws you down on the bed and helps you undress, staring down at you with sinful eyes while he takes his shirt and pants off.

His hand grabs your legs, pulling you to the end of the bed and then kissing up your right leg, into your thigh, until he's hovering over your pussy. "I just need a taste.." Hugh moans as he runs the tip of his tongue over your slit, teasingly pushing his tongue inside your entrance, feeling a shudder run through your body.

"H-Hugh.. wait.." You choke out and he stops immediately, sitting up and looks at you with a worried expression. "You don't have to quit, I've just never had anybody... go down on me before." You cover your face with your hands as embarrassment starts to set in but he grabs your wrists and pulls them away.

"Do you want me to?" His voice is soft but has no judgement as relief starts to wash over you. "I want you to." He nods and moves you up to the pillows, slotting himself back in between your legs as his arms wrap around your hips.

Hugh kisses your thighs, smirking as he hears your little whimpers then kisses your clit softly. You breathe heavily, feeling your nerves start to bubble in your stomach but it's quickly gone when Hugh's tongue slides back up your slit, teasingly circling your clit as he looks up at you. His tongue flattens as it licks up your entrance, coaxing you to open up to him and gasps start leaving your mouth.

He starts eating you out like a man on a mission, lapping up everything you have to offer as you pull on his hair, his moans vibrating your thighs and you feel one of his fingers slide inside of you. "Fuck, Hugh..." You moan out, arching your back as he adds another one. His mouth encloses on your clit, sucking gently while his fingers work on stretching you open.

You start panting rapidly, your grip on his hair tightens as he moves his fingers faster and his mouth tightening around your sensitive nub, bringing you closer to your orgasm.

Hugh watches you come undone, smirking as you release on his fingers and lets you ride out your high. He kisses softly up your body then kisses you deeply, allowing you to taste yourself before finally sliding his briefs down. A sigh of relief escapes his mouth and you look down in shock as you look at the hard, thick erection in between the two of you.

"Like what you see, darling?" Hugh cockily smirks and you can't help but breathe out a laugh. "I don't know if I can take all of that." You whisper and he smiles, kissing you softly. "We will go slow and you tell me when you can." He assures as he lines up with your entrance, slowly pushing the tip in as you grip his chest.

A low groan escapes his lips as he pushes slowly inside of you, slightly pulling out before pushing back in. Your head falls back as he finally bottoms out deep inside of you and you quickly realize he's bigger than anyone you've ever been with but you take slow, deep breaths.

"You can move..." You tell him. He looks into your eyes to make sure before slowly moving, his hand gripping your hip to hold you in place. "You feel so good, darling. I honestly think you was made to take my cock." Hugh moans out, the praise causing butterflies in your stomach.

Hugh pushes your legs to your chest as he leans down to kiss you, the new angle causing you to cry out with pleasure. "Your moans are better than anything I've ever heard. Such a beautiful sound." He groans in your ear, nipping the lobe softly while his hips start moving faster.

Your nails drag down his back causing him to moan loudly, his dick twitching inside of you from the feeling. "You're all mine, darling. I'm never letting you go after tonight." You moan at his statement. "Don't ever let me go, Hugh. Fuck.. I need you." You whine as a growl escapes his lips, his hand coming up and choking you, but not hard enough to cut off your breathing.

His other hand comes down and rubs your clit, coaxing you closer to the edge as your walls start contracting around his length. "Come on, darling. Let me feel you cum all over me." He moans, holding off his orgasm. Your back arches, the pressure building in the pit of your stomach and tears start falling down your eyes.

You've never experienced any pleasure like this before and after tonight, you only want to experience it with Hugh. No one has ever made you this comfortable and pleasurable during intercourse, scratch that, no one has treated you the way he has and you know there's no one going to take his place in your heart.

A deep moan comes from within deep of your body as you release, your body almost convulsing against his. "Darling, where do you want me to cum?" Hugh breathes out, feeling his quickly approaching. "I-Inside... fuck... need all of you.." You moan as his hand grips your throat tighter, feeling him release inside of you.

Hugh glides slowly inside of you, letting both of your orgasms ride out before collapsing beside you and pulling you on top of him. He holds you close as you come down from your high, kissing your forehead and whispering praises in your ear as he does.

Your mind slows as you listen to his heartbeat, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. "Go to sleep, darling. I'll clean you up after your nap." Hugh assures and you kiss him softly, laying your head back down as his hand rubs your back.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Safe Keeping | 2

Part 1 2 3

"What say you, lady? Don't you think the Hound would make a fine husband? He would protect you, yes, and you would bear him many babes." I curtsy again but this time, my voice falters when I speak, "I- I think he would," I turn to my left, "Lord Sandor would make a fine husband... a fine father."

Sandor Clegane x Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, forced marriage, enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, smut (dub con, primal play, PIV, rough sex), emotional unavailability, The Hound being abrasive, canon typical casual misogyny, baby fever, typos, etc.

A/N: you guys, i dont want to edit the summary from p1 so i wont. also for future me here are the asks i got for this fic [x] [x] [x] which is like 🤯 cos i thought id get 5 notes on this tbh HAHAH originally posted on ao3 but felt like posting it on here

Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @otteropera @poisonsage808 @glitterandgoldfinds

I refused to leave my chambers when I woke.

Not only had I cried myself to sleep, but I had woken with puffy eyes and ended up crying all over again. I was glad that my doting handmaiden was so fiercely loyal to me. Lucy didn't think my weeping childish. She was understanding and eternally on my side. I am immensely grateful for it; I don't know what I would have done without her.

She helped me bathe and dress and eat, then entertained me with gossip from the servants. For a while that was enough.

As the day passed though, my thoughts muddled and left me restless. I could not do anything but obsess over the fact my husband left me after wifing me up.

"Do you think he will come back tonight?" I mutter as I stare blankly at my reflection on the mirror.

Lucy ceases combing my hair and takes my chin in her fingers. Paired with a hand on my shoulder, she silently urges me to straighten my back from my seat. I do just that. She smiles at me through the mirror, "my lady, if you wish it, I will look for him and make him come to you."

I release a breath, "don't be ridiculous."

"I am not being ridiculous," she sets the brush down, "I am being serious."

I feel my throat tighten. My lips quiver but I refuse to break down in tears again. I shake my head rapidly, unwilling to speak, for I knew I would crack if I did.

Lucy frowns in concern then kneels down on my side, grabbing my hand, "my lady, I would die for you."

I screw my eyes shut and break into a whine, "please-"

"I owe you my life," she clasps my hand with hers and brings it to her cheek, "you freed me from my chains. You clothed me, fed me, and showed me kindness none of my masters have ever shown me before," she looks up at me with a solemn expression then repeats, "I would die for you."

I shake my head and lean into her, "live for me, Lucy. I've forgotten what's it was like before you and I don't want to remember."

She kisses my hand and presses her forehead on mine before standing, "I shall do as you command."

She stands behind me and gathers my hair back. She strokes my locks and offers me a smile through the mirror once more. I smile back at her this time around.

The comfort she offers me finally seeps through me as she massages my shoulders.

"I pray the gods will swiftly bless me with a child so that I will have other things to do than await my husband so helplessly and forlorn."

"Well, you said that he pleasured you," Lucy tilts her head, "women who have not been pleasured still bea-

Lucy is cut off by the crashing open of the door. She and I both whip back, hearts in our mouths as we stare at our Lord Clegane, who was staring right back at us.

"What's wrong with you?" he demands. The metal of his armor clanks. I eye the one Lucy tidied to the side, the one I undid the night before, and turn back to him. His brown eyes look at me with such intense accusation.

I feel my hands tremble. I cannot for the life of me find the words to speak. 

What did he even mean? How could he ask me this?

"No one has seen you all day," he says, "have you not left this room once?'

"She 'asn't," Lucy snaps, "milady has been feeling-"

"I wasn't talking to you, wench," the Hound does not turn to her when he says this. His eyes are very much still fixed on me, "I'm talking to my wife."

My wife. I look away. That's right, all that I am now is forfeit to him.

I gasp and turn back when I hear him marching over. Lucy places a protective hand on my shoulder and I find myself cowering into her touch. I clench my jaw and gulp when he stops in front of me.

He gazes upon me for the longest second of my life. He furrows his brows, "what's wrong with your fa-"

I flinch when he reaches out to my cheek.

Instantaneously, Lucy tightens her grip on me and blocks him, and Sandor cuts himself off and recoils before he can even touch my skin. He steps a few paces back then clenches his hand as if he'd gotten burnt.

We both evade each other's gaze. Sandor's eyes finally land on Lucy, "has she been crying?"

Lucy's blood boils. She hisses, "yes," then harshly pronounces, "milord."

Sandor turns away and twitches. He rolls his shoulders back and stretches his hands. He knocks on his chest plate. He looks to no one when he asks, "are you hurt?"

Lucy takes no care in masking her scoff or sigh. I take her arm and she watches me shake my head disapprovingly.

I do not look at anyone when I reply either, "I cannot say I'm not... lord husband."

A thick silence builds in the room within a moment.

When I dare too look at the Hound, he is already looking at me and suddenly speaks, "leave us, wench."

I turn to Lucy. She does not move an inch.

I give her an urging shake, but she is steadfast in her spot. Our Lord Clegane turns to her and grinds his teeth, "you will find I do not make habit of repeating myself."

I shoot up from my seat when Lucy presses forward and quips, "and you will find that I will not allow you to treat milady like this."

"Lucy!" I admonish, yanking her back.

Lucy glares daggers at him as I attempt to pacify and persuade her to leave us. Her eyes do not leave him as I sweep her out the room. I instruct her to walk around the gardens for a while then close the door after.

I press my back against the wooden surface as I look back to the man I was now alone with.

Sandor watches me expectantly. I do not say a word, for I did not know what he wanted to hear.

He finally breaks the silence, "you walk well enough."

I am dumbfounded by his choice of words. I dare not respond when I feel my lips quiver; instead, I nod quickly.

Sandor deeply furrows his brows. He shifts on his spot and chances a step in my direction, "why didn't you come out your room then?"

I lick my lips and shake my head. I turn away from him and mutter, "do I appear like I am in the state to be walking around when I look like this?"

"Like what?" he draws nearer.

I whip my head, "THIS!"

Sandor stops in his tracks. He looks at me, expressionless, "this what?"

I scoff in disbelief, feeling tears immediately soak my face. I whisper, "look at me."

"I am, with both eyes."

"And you see nothing?" I mutter shakily, "feel nothing?'

"Should I feel something?"

My chest sinks; it feels like it's caving in. He might as well gut me and spit on my bones. I turn to my feet and wipe my cheeks, "no. I suppose not."

Sandor curses under his breath. He rips at his collar, suddenly feeling his armour weigh down on him. He feels unbelievably hot. He clears his throat, "it hurts."

I look up at him.

"It hurts the first time, usually," he clarifies, "or in times you're not wet enough." He nods, "you were wet enough."

My entire being burns at his words, at his nonchalance. My face is searing in embarrassment and shame.

I want to scream at him, want to hurtle into him and demand to know why he left me, why he was so removed, but then I find the answers in my head. It dawns on me that he acted carelessly because he didn't care. He didn't want this. He didn't want me. All of it was forced. And so I hold my tongue.

Instead, I calmly explain, "my hurt is not bodily, Sandor."

Sandor's stomach rolls at the sound of his name.

"I was," I turn to space between us, "hurt that you left me. And-" I shake my head as tears rush from my eyes, "I've realized now that it's wrong of me to be."

I put a brave face on in spite of my weeping and hold his stare. The man is as stoic and hard as ever. I scoff at myself for feeling this way.

"Worry no longer, Hound," I open the door, "I will not cause you trouble again."

I step back and make way for him to exit.

He looks at me for what feels like an eternity then marches out the door.

"And have you-"

Lucy and I gasp and turn at once.

"-named it yet, Lady Clegane?"

I chuckle guilty, "Lord Varys."

The man nods to me in regard, "good morrow to you."

I curtsy to him, as does my handmaiden. Lucy lifts her skirt as inconspicuously as possible in hopes to block what was behind her.

Varys catches this and waves his hands, "there be no need for that, my dear. The stray is an obedient one, isn't it?"

I share a look with Lucy before we step back and reveal the dog behind us. Daisy was panting and wagging her tail. She had her front paw bent, for it had been broken and healed that way. I had a maester examine it. In the end, he said it was pointless to put a split because it would not fix her leg and Daisy just kept chewing it anyway.

Daisy closes her mouth and sniffs the man.

"Ah," Varys smiles at the creature, "may I pet it?"

Lucy nods and eagerly explains, "she's Daisy; she is incredibly sweet, milord."

Varys cheerfully scratches the crown of the dog's head.

Though he laughs, my own face contorts into an opposite expression, "please make no note of it to my husband."

Varys looks at me exaggeratedly, as though he was offended.

I continue, "she makes me happy."

"One does not need to be told that to know," he presses his lips together. He links his hands, "I imagine you must be rather heavyhearted since the arrival of your womanly bleeding."

I drop my gaze upon hearing this. The master of whispers truly knew all. Lucy turns to me, then back to him, "milord, it's not proper to mention these things."

Varys measures my reaction before turning to Lucy, "yes. I suppose one such as myself has no business speaking of such things." He raises a finger, "still, if you should ever need assistance with that or your stray, know that my services are available to you, my lady."

I smile at him and nod, "I thank you for it, Lord Varys."

With that, he walks away.

"Do you think he will tell him?" Lucy asks as she grabs my arm.

I sigh and turn Daisy.

I've only had her for few days but she's given me purpose. I named her Daisy because she turned up from a bush of daisies while I read in the gardens. I was shocked, puzzled with how she got there, and a little scared she would bite me. When I noticed her injury, I figured she must be very weak and offered her food. She had my heart the moment she licked my fingers.

It was fate, I figured. I had not read in the gardens since the Hound berated me for it, and she came out of nowhere. When I imagine what would have happened to her if anyone else found her, I dread to think of the fact she could have been struck dead. The gods must have sent her to me, to remedy my sorrow and fill in for the absence of my Hound.

I was meant to save Daisy, and she was meant to save me.

I shake my head, "I'll have someone keep her tonight."

The Hound stops in his tracks when he witnesses what he does from afar. A blazing fury engulfs him as he watches two women walk away. The guard, who was spoken to, ogle their figures as they did.

Sandor laughs under his breath, but of course, nothing about this situation was funny to him.

He immediately charges when the guard is left alone, stupidly attending to an open crate-- he'll fucking bash it into his skull.

The guard goes back to his post and spots the approaching giant. At first, he is unfazed by the Hound but fear quickly finds him when he realizes he was heading straight for him.

He does not speak. The Hound simply grabs him by the chest plate, lifts him up and slams him on to the stone wall. He was angry-- worse, he was irrational.

"Why was she speaking to you?!" he snaps, "what business do you have with her?!"

The guard does not waste a second in spilling his guts, "Lady Clegane paid me to watch her dog!" He sounded like he was about to piss his pants.

"What?!" he seethes.

"The crate! The crate! There's a dog in the crate!" 

Sandor shoves him away and walks toward the crate. Lo and behold, the Hound sees the mutt, fur a light shade of brown, tongue out as it pant, right arm curled up.

He draws his sword.

Lucy and I head back to my chambers after eating supper. Our chattering is abruptly cut when he step in and see the Hound's hulking figure.

To say I am shocked is an understatement. I am terrified. He has not come to my chambers since the day after our wedding night, and now, here he was after Lord Varys confronted me. I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat, "my lord, I-"

"Don't you have one too many dogs now?" he growls.

Lucy is unable to hide the sound that leaves her mouth. My eyes begin to water as trepidation rips up my neck. I whisper, "Sandor."

Sandor flinches. He huffs, "what were you doing with it? You playing dolls with it, girl?"

"I saved her!" I explain with a shaky voice. "I fed her, gave her water-"

"Its leg is broken. You keep it in a crate. It's mercy for me to kill it."

Lucy gasps. My stomach drops and I run up to him, "no. Please. Please, tell me you didn't-"

I start when I see something move on the bed. I let out a shaky breath when a bark echoes in the room. I had never been more relieved to see Daisy than now.

Sandor growls, "OFF!" He marches to the bed and charges at the her. I shriek and grab his arm, holding him back. Of course, I nearly shoot forward for what was my strength against his? Still, he turns back to me and huffs. Daisy jumps down the bed and comes to my side.

Lucy grabs her and leads her to the corner of the room.

I continue to beg, "please, don't kill her. Please, I beg of you."

"You pay the guards to watch the mutt," Sandor yanks his arm away; the action hurts my hand. He seethes, "you're better off selling the bitch to a butcher as pig food."

I wail, "it was only this time! I have kept her with me since before." I drop to my knees, "please, I will ask nothing more of you," hot tears burn down all the way down to my chest. "I beg that you just let her live."

Sandor steps back and looks down at me. I can see how pathetic he thinks I am at this moment, and yet I find myself unable to care.

"You will ask me nothing more, aye?" he scoffs. His lips curl, "don't you want a child?"

My expression drops.

"You would rather save the bitch than have a babe?"

I am unable to speak. 

Why is he doing this to me?

"Well?!" he demands.

I screw my eyes shut when some of his spit sputters to my face. I turn to the floor, "she's been keeping me company in your absence. She's-"

"Ah, so that's why she feels so comfortable on the bed. You sleep with her."

I look up at him, about to explain that she sleeps on the floor and has never done that before. I do not have the chance.

"Well then keep your stray," he scoffs, "and have it fuck a babe into you."

The Hound storms off right after.

He grips his hand and his hilt as he marches away.

He should have killed it, he shouldn't have hesitated. The only reason he did was because it didn't flinch at his sword. The mutt was so dumb it had no fear. It even propped on the crate and tried sniffing the steel. Brainless.

His insides feel like they were boiling.

He knew the little girl would weep if he killed it, yet he didn't and there were tears anyway. He curses loudly. It reverberates in the hall.

He should have killed it.

Now it was too late.

"I see you make friends even with stray cats now, my lady."

I look over my shoulder after the cat I was petting runs off because of the voice. Lord Baelish comes up to me, sparing a quick glance to the orange feline that jumped down the wall. He turns back to me with a smile, "pardon me, Lady Clegane, I did not mean to frighten the kitty."

I shake my head, returning a soft smile. I wrap my arms around myself, still not entirely used to the light fabric and freeness of the dresses I've been wearing lately, "it's alright, my lord. The cats do not like people."

Baelish walks in front of me and smiles wider, "they must see you their goddess then."

I shake my head and give a soft chuckle.

"Where is your hound?" he asks.

I stiffen.

He clarifies, "I mean the one with the broken leg."

I release a breath and look out to the view, "I had my handmaiden bathe her."

"Mmm," Baelish looks out to the view with me, "thus why you sought the cats."

A breeze brushes past us.

I do not turn to him, but I know he turns to me. He speaks, "one such as you should not be left alone or unaccompanied."

"Why? Would you hurt me, Lord Baelish?"

He chuckles, "and risk getting mauled by the Hound? I would not."

I watch as a flock of birds fly overhead.

"Other things perhaps," he says.

I do not respond to him.

A moment passes with nothing but looking and silence.

I feel his hot breath when he sighs deeply, "I remember clearly the day I first met you."

Baelish speaks my first name and it's enough to finally make me to turn to him. In truth, my name sounds foreign to me. Who I was has been long overshadowed by Lady Clegane... or, more accurately, the Hound himself.

"You were a vibrant flower. Your fragrance wafted through the room the moment you stepped in," he says, taking one step closer. "Being around you was a privilege; conversing with you, a prize."

I blink at his words, taking in the lines of his face, "and now," I clasp my hands together, "I've withered away, have I?"

His Baelish-blue eyes appear to be solemn. My lips part when he takes my hands in his. He speaks under his breath, "you are more radiant than ever."

I do not move an inch.

"Take heart," he speaks my name again, "hounds are crushed under heels of goddesses."

I pull away from him and shake my head, "do not speak blasphemy with me."

He laughs, bringing his hands behind him, "ever devout and god-fearing." He raises an arm, "shall we part ways by the stables? I will be heading out of the keep."

I debate for a moment. Ultimately, I offer polite smile and decide to agree.

We walk with no sense of urgency. I never knew Petyr to be one for small talk, and so I am surprised that he asks me about my dresses. In truth, I really shouldn't have been.

"Your dresses are Dornish, are they not?" he raises a brow.

"Dornish-like," I clarify, "it was my usual tailor that made my new dresses. I feared if I asked a Dornish tailor for a modest silhouette, I'd be colder than I am now."

We share a soft laugh.

He shrugs, "the style suits you still," he smiles. "Undoubtedly, the Dornes would love to dress you in their more traditional clothing."

I purse my lips and raise my brows, "wouldn't you like that, Petyr?"

He chuckles, slightly in disbelief by the casual referral. He raises his hands, "I said the Dornes. I am not Dornish, my dear."

When we reach the stables, I stop in my tracks, not because we're about to depart, but because his words freeze me in my spot.

"Surely, our Lord Clegane finds it hard to keep his hands off you."

I do my best to stay neutral, to not give myself away. Baelish holds back a smirk.

"Wouldn't you like to know what me and Lord Clegane get up to?"

Baelish laughs, "if I'm being honest, I do."

I roll my eyes at him and nod dismissively, "farewell, my lord."

He nods back with a chuckles, "and you, my lady."

I promptly head to my chambers after this. As I walk on, however, I remember that another day has passed with me not seeing Lord Clegane. I am unsure if it was deliberate or coincidental, but it was the fact either way.

It had been a handful of days since my monthly bleeding passed. I was never a regular bleeder, and when it came this time around, it stayed longer than usual. I was glad with his absence then, in not needing to explain myself to my him. The moment it had finished, however, I expected I would at least see him once.

I did not.

This lead to my decision to be more... seductive.

And, well yes, or course, he yelled at me and told me to have my bitch fuck me instead-- truly, there was a large pit of dread in my stomach because of this, but people say a lot of things in anger, things they don't mean. He could not have meant that.

I rub my belly, willing the dread away.

I refuse to believe he meant that.

I suck in a breath and decide to head to the king's chambers.

Besides, I've been assured over and under that men really like making babies.

My breath hitches when I catch sight of the Hound, guarding the door. I see him do a double take when he spots me, and yet he gazes into space in the end.

"Good evening, my lord," I curtsy at him.

He grunts with exasperation, "what are you doing here?"

"I wanted," I measure my words carefully, "to request you not stay out late tonight."

The man turns his head fully to me, "what?"

I feel my throat itch. I clear my throat, "I was hoping that you come to my chambers before too late."

Sandor shifts in his spot. He eyes me up and down. I feel like I am being burned alive under his gaze.

He looks away and shifts back in place.

I open my mouth but I don't get to speak at all.

"Dog. Dog! Come inside, I-" King Joffrey calls but then ceases when he steps out of the room and sees me. 

I immediately curtsy, "my king. Good evening."

Joffrey raises a brow and demands to know why I'm here, referring to me by the house I was born into.

I offer him a smile, "I wanted to speak to my lord husband, your grace."

His face contorts in deep bewilderment. He opens his mouth and raises a finger, "why would you come h-" he turns to the Hound and stops himself. He breaks into a laugh. He laughs so hard that he clutches his stomach, "oh!" He wheezes, "oh, I've forgotten about that!"

King Joffrey calms down with a sigh. He from to his Kingsguard then to me, eyeing my attire. He chuckles under his breath as his eyes rake me down, "I see your wife has dressed to seduce you, dog." His looks up to my face, "or wouldn't that make you bitch?"

I do not respond for a moment, put on the spot by his malice, but then my wits finally meet me. I curtsy to the king, "I am what my king makes me to be."

Joffrey laughs airily. He shakes his head, "my, dog," he turns to his guard, "I've truly matched you well," he pats his shoulder plate, "too well, in fact."

He then retreats into his chambers, calling out as he did, "you're dismissed, dog. Breed your bitch as you like."

The door slams shut.

I release a breath once the king leaves, clutching my belly as I did so.

Sandor does not move an inch from his spot. He does not look at me.

I begin to get nervous all over again. I try, "husband?"

"You think I'll answer to your whistle just because you're dressed like a whore?"

My face hardens. I look away from him. I mean I expected as much.

I swallow the lump in my throat, "I only wanted to please you-"

He scoffs.

I look back at him, "I will dress more modestly if it is what you'd like."

"I'd like not to see you whoring around."

I am unable to withhold my scoff, "I am what my lord makes me out to be."

The Hound finally spares me a glance. I glare at him as I curtsy, "apologies for the impertinence." I turn on my heels and walk away. My anger and vexation gets the best of me. I cannot help but jeer, "if my dress angers you so, take it off me then."

Sandor shifts on his spot.

I continue down the hall.

His lips curl as he growls lowly, "run."

I do not hear anything but my own grumbling.

"Run, little girl!" he barks, making me jolt and turn back to him with a scowl. The irritation is apparent in my face as I stop at the end of the hall, "what?"

The Hound begins to march over. My heart races as I hear him warn, "run, if you know what's good for you"

I begin to shuffle back.

"I'll tear that shit off your body when I catch you."

I break into a sprint at the sound of his threat.

I don't look back. I heave heavily as I rush down the halls. I don't hear him chasing after me, though once I'm far, I see him treading fast as the times he's dragged me by the arm. My stomach flurries with anxiousness and regret.

When I reach my chambers, I mentally debate whether or not I should lock the door. I gulp at the idea of him breaking it down. I decide I do not want a memory such as that to be branded into my brain.

I gasp when he bursts into the room. I grip my skirts from the edge of the bed where where I sat.

The Hound locks the door before walking over to me. He grabs my shoulders and shoves me down on my belly.

I squeak when he grabs my skirts and rips it all the way up my ribs. He scoffs, "fucking parchment."

I hear him grab something by my vanity. I do not dare to look at him. I proceed to hear him undo his armor and his clothes.

I hear a pop. I yelp when he grabs my smallclothes and yanks them down. I groan into the cushions when I feel his fingers toy with my folds.

"Don' fink you nee' vis," he speaks like something was in his mouth. He pulls his hand away and suddenly the smell of my lavender oil assaults my senses. I hear a squelch. Something is thrown to my side; it's my vial.

I squeak when he grabs my hips. He sighs, "you're ready on your own." We both make noises when he begins to thrust into me. The Hound growls, "little girl likes to be chased."

I am shoved into the cushions. My entire body tenses.

"You want to dress like a whore," he taunts, "I'll fuck you like a whore."

His tempo is brutal and harsh. He does not relent or give me leeway. It's strange and shameful that my body even feels tingles of pleasure.

I cannot help the screams that rip out of my throat. Had I not been faced down on the cushion, I fear that I would have woken the dead.

I call out his name when he hoists my hips up. My toes could no longer touch the floor. He begins moving faster. My hands dig into the sheets. I feel my eyes water.

The Hound howls. He shoves me down and suddenly my feet are on the ground. He plunges deep, it makes my eyes roll back. His thrusts become increasingly irregular and after with a few more slaps, he stops.

I catch my breath, thanking the gods he's shown mercy.

I whine when I feel him pull away. I gulp and shift on my spot. I anticipate his next movements. I hear a rustle. I lift my head up and look back at him, confused by the sight of him tying himself up.

Was... was it done?

"Don't think to have that dress mended, girl," he pants as he grabs something from the floor. I roll on my back, feeling uneasy because of the wetness between my thighs. I watch him unlock the door and slam the door on his way out.

All hells were breaking loose. King's Landing was under attack, the castle was on fire, and Stannis Baratheon was winning.

All the women and children holed up in the queen's retreat chamber spilled out to gods know where.

My mind was racing, yet all I could think was: run, flee, Lucy, Daisy, Hound.

I was already running. I was already fleeing. I was doing both with Lucy in my grip. I had Lucy, but I did not have Daisy.

We were running up to my chambers. I left Daisy there, my poor Daisy. We were fleeing up the stairs in haste, sparing no time to catch a breath.

I had no idea what we were to do. We could bar the door, block it with our bed. Lucy and I could manage it, I think. Was it a good idea? Would it guarantee our safety? There was only one way we'd know.

I quickly open the door and lock it once Lucy and I are inside.

We take a moment to finally catch our breath. Lucy grabs my arms and I grab hers. I can feel her shaking. I rub her skin, "it will be alright. No harm will reach us here."

Lucy shakes her head, "milday, you and me both know that's not true."

My heart shatters when I catch the way her eyes water. "Shhh," I pull her into a hug, "have I ever failed you, Lucy?"

She seals her arms around me and whispers, "no."

"Nothing will happen to us," I rub her back, "I will protect you."

"And I, you," she pulls away, "as will Daisy," she wipes her tears before they fall, "and the 'ound."

We scream when we hear a voice in the room. We press our back against the wall and turn to the bed. A figure is sat on the floor by its side. What was said was, "your mutt is stupid."

Lucy and I clutch each other for dear life. I recognized that voice. I muster the courage to tiptoe towards the figure and breathe out shakily when I confirm the presence, "Sandor?"

The man turns to me as we walk up to him. Sandor had Daisy on his lap. She looked up and blinked at me before closing her eyes. She was being pet a bloody hand and did not mind at all.

"She was jumped on me when I walked in. She looked excited," he turns to Daisy, "stupid bitch. Anyone else would have chopped her up."

I find myself releasing a breath of relief. Here now was Daisy, and Hound. I had nothing left to think about.

I walk up to him, kneeling on his side. He turns to me. I examine his face, dirtied and bloodied, "are you hurt?"

He looks at me for a moment. I watch him slowly raise his hand. He cautiously touches my cheek. I clutch his wrist in my hands. He swipes his thumb on my skin, "save your tears." I didn't even know I shed them. "None of the fuckers got close enough to try."

He draws his hand back. He grunts as he gets to his feet. Daisy moves back, wobbling on her three legs; I move back too.

"Take your valuables," the Hound grunts, "we're fucking leaving."

I pull my head back. I watch the man survey the room.

Lucy runs up to my side and she wipes my cheek with her skirt. She watches the red collect on the fabric and wonders who it belonged to. She wagers it's not from her lord.

I shake my head in confusion as Sandor grabs a satchel and stuffs my jewelry in it, "I don't understand. Aren't you going to fight?"

"Fuck the fight," he quips as he shoves objects down and raids through the drawers and closets.

Lucy finishes wiping my face. I walk off and grab all my hidden pouches of gold. I hand it to Sandor, "what about the king?"

"Fuck the king," he takes the pouches and stuffs it into the bag, "fuck him especially."

Sandor then chucks the satchel to Lucy, who grunts when she catches it.

"The stupid fuck's done nothing but fuck around," he picks up Daisy, propping her front legs on his shoulder, "no good thing's come from that fuck." He takes me by the hand and mumbles, " 'cept for one."

He releases me only to unlock the door and hold me again. He does not let me go until we reach the outside of the keep.

The whole lot was in disarray; dead bodies, debris, and fire littered the scene. He hands me Daisy, and I struggle slightly to carry her, considering she was not a small breed. He walks not too far off and brings a wandering horse over.

It's a wonder we do not encounter anyone on this side of the castle, more so that we find a horse.

Sandor takes Daisy and puts her down before helping me mount the steed. My stomach rolls with how his touch lingered on my thigh once I was on.

Next, he took the satchel from Lucy and handed it to me. He then eyed her when she stepped forward, as if debating whether or not he wanted to bring her along. Before she or I could speak up about it, Sandor is already helping her climb up behind me. Lucy takes the satchel from me and eyes him after. He rolls his eyes.

He picked up Daisy and tried handing her to me. However, she struggled too much and could not fit in my arms, so he cursed and threw her back onto his shoulders. He grabbed the horse's reins and started walking.

"Fucking bitch, fucking wench, fucking horse, fucking war, fucking-"

[butterfly-lies-chase-them-away]

Daddy Issues - Johnny Seo x Reader

Now Playing: » Daddy Issues « The Neighbourhood 3:27 ─────〇─ 4:16 ⇄ ◃◃ II ▹▹ ↻

Pairing: Johnny x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 15,382 Total Word Count: 49,636 Part 3 of 3 (Part 1) (Part 2) -

Playlist Masterlist NCT Masterlist

Warnings: SMUT (p in v, cunnilingus, mating press, pet names), Age Gap, minor angst, not bad but not great relationship with dad

Summary: 🎵 Go ahead and cry, little girl Nobody does it like you do I know how much it matters to you I know that you got daddy issues 🎵 or No one makes Y/n feel more rejected that her father. That's what leads her to seek friendship with a bartender

A/N: bloody finALLY FINISHED!! I am literally at work as I post all of these, lol I am so sorry it took this long to publish this fic, I did not expect it to take this song, but I am so glad to have it done now, lol Anyways, I hope you enjoy this last part 💚

-

Johnny had texted her earlier in the evening. The message was short and simple.

I’m at work and it’s dead here. I’m bored out of my mind.

It didn’t take much for Y/n to offer to swing by and keep him company. After all, she wasn’t doing anything important, and Johnny always had a way of making her nights a little more interesting.

That’s how she found herself sitting at the far end of the bar, drink a dry lemonade with lime cordial while Johnny wiped down the counter. 

The place was nearly empty, other than a couple of regulars. Music played softly in the background, just loud enough to fill the silence without overwhelming it.

Johnny leaned his elbows on the bar in front of her, a grin tugging at his lips. “You didn’t have to come, you know. I was more than happy to just text you.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her drink. “Yeah, well, I figured you’d find a way to rope me into coming over eventually. Might as well make it easy for you.”

He laughed, that low, easy sound that made it hard not to smile. “What can I say? I’m persuasive.”

God, his smile mad her head roll.

“Oh, is that what we’re calling it now?” she teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, you’re here, aren’t you?” He gave her a wink before straightening up and heading toward the other side as a new customer wandered in. “Hold that thought,” he said over his shoulder, his voice light.

Y/n watched him work, effortlessly slipping into bartender mode, greeting the customer, pouring a drink, and making casual conversation as usual. 

When he returned, he placed his hands on the counter again, leaning slightly toward her. “Alright, where were we?”

“Me being the only salvation for your boredom,” she said.

Johnny tilted his head in mock offense. “Wow. I invite you to my workplace for free drinks and entertainment, and this is the respect I get?”

Y/n chuckled. “Free fizzy. Score!”

“Still counts.” He chuckled.

The night continued like that, easy banter and light-hearted teasing. As another hour passed, Y/n propped her chin on her hand, watching as Johnny restocked the shelves behind the bar. 

“So, how long until you’re done here?” she asked, glancing at the clock.

“About an hour, give or take,” he said, turning around to face her. “Why, tired already?”

“Nope, just wondering if you wanna grab something to eat after.”

Johnny smiled. “You gonna try pay this time?”

Y/n sat up straighter. “Fucking right, I am.” 

“We’ll see,” he said with a laugh before adding, “But yeah, that sounds good.”

And as Y/n sat there, watching Johnny work and listening to the low hum of music. It wasn’t a big night out or anything fancy, but sometimes, these were the best nights. 

As the clock struck midnight and the last of the bar’s patrons filtered out, Johnny flipped the sign on the door to Closed and locked up.

Y/n leaned back in her seat, watching as he went through the motions of shutting everything down, cleaning glasses, wiping down the bar, and double-checking the till. 

“Damn, you’re fast,” Y/n said, watching him place the last glass on the shelf.

“You learn how to close up quick when all you wanna do is get out and eat.” He shot her a grin before grabbing his jacket from behind the bar and slinging it over his shoulder. “Speaking of which, you still up for grabbing something?”

Y/n hopped off her chair. “Depends. Where are we going? Everything’s probably closed by now.”

Johnny glanced at the time on his phone and shrugged. “Yeah, nothing proper’s open this late, but…” He paused, giving her a knowing look. “I know a spot. It’s this little 24-hour fried chicken place. Greasy, messy, and definitely not gourmet, but it’s good. What do you say?”

Y/n’s stomach rumbled at the mention of food. “I’m down.”

“Let’s go.” He opened the door for her, locking it behind them once she stepped out. 

The night air was crisp, a faint chill brushing against their skin as they made their way to Johnny’s car parked out back. The ride was calm, the city around them dim and sleepy, with only the occasional streetlight illuminating their path. 

A few minutes later, Johnny pulled up in front of a small joint with a neon sign that read Fried & True - Open 24/7. Despite the hour, the place still had a cozy, welcoming vibe, with warm light spilling out onto the pavement.

They got out, and as Johnny locked the car, he gave Y/n a glance. “This chicken is, no joke, the best you’ll ever try.”

Y/n laughed. “Big promises for fried chicken.”

“Hey, this is very serious for me,” Johnny said, clearly joking.

Inside, the smell of crispy fried goodness filled the air. Y/n looked around the little store and smiled. When Johnny was about to approach the counter, Y/n rushed in front.

“Ah! No, you sit your ass down, you ain’t paying for this!” Y/n pointed to a table off to the side.

Johnny huffed out a chuckle before walking over to take a seat. Looking up at the menu, Y/n chose three different flavours of chicken and some chips to go.

As Y/n made her way over to the table, Johnny leaned back in his seat, eyes half-lidded but still full of that lazy charm. “So, did hanging out at the bar beat whatever else you had planned tonight?”

Y/n snorted. “You mean staying home doing fuck all? Yeah, you win.”

“Well, yeah. I was always gonna win.” He jested. “I’m pretty good company?”

“I don’t know,” Y/n teased, resting her chin in her hand. “You did trick me into hanging out at an empty bar for hours.”

“And now you get to hang out with me, that’s a pretty good deal,” Johnny shot back.

Before Y/n could respond, their food arrived, neatly packed in to-go boxes. Johnny grabbed the bag and held the door open for her as they stepped back outside. 

The ride back was quiet, Y/n rested her head against the window, content with how the night had turned out. Soon, they arrived at Johnny’s apartment. He parked, grabbed the bag of food, and led the way up.

Inside, Y/n made herself comfortable on the couch while Johnny disappeared briefly into the kitchen, returning with plates and drinks. 

He set everything down on the coffee table and handed her a plate.

“After this, you’ll never think of another fried chicken again,” he joked, opening the to-go box.

Y/n laughed, grabbing a piece of chicken. “I don’t doubt it.”

They ate together, the conversation flowing easily between bites. Johnny put on some show in the background, creating a relaxed atmosphere. The food was exactly as good as Johnny had promised.

“We should do this more often,” Y/n said, leaning back against the couch.

Johnny grinned, wiping his hands on a napkin. “Told you. Stick around, and I’ll introduce you to all the best things.”

Y/n chuckled, finishing off the last of her fries. Johnny leaned back in his seat as his gaze rested on Y/n, his expression calm but thoughtful. 

Y/n met his eyes, and for a moment, she felt that familiar flutter in her chest. Her mind drifted back to that night at the club, the things he’d said, the way he’d looked at her, the intensity behind his words.

Her heart dropped. It hadn’t left her mind since.

Shifting slightly in her seat and lowering her eyes to the floor, Y/n hesitated before speaking. “Uh, Johnny…”

“Yes, Y/n?” he responded, his eyes searched hers curiously.

“Do you…remember what you said to me at the club the other week?” she asked, her voice quieter now, uncertain.

Johnny’s posture stiffened just slightly, his gaze falling to his hands. He shifted in his seat, fingers tapping lightly against the armrest. 

“Yeah,” he said after a beat, his voice low. “I remember.”

Y/n took a deep breath, her heart racing. “Can you…explain what you meant?”

She didn’t want to tiptoe around it anymore. His words had been replaying in her mind all week, how he said he’d make her feel special, feel good, feel worthy.

But that night, they’d both been under the influence of alcohol, and she wanted clarity, wanted to hear it from him while they were both sober.

Johnny sighed, running a hand through his hair as if trying to figure out where to begin. “Yeah…you should know,” he said, his tone softening. 

He leaned back into the couch, settling in as if preparing himself for a long explanation. “My dad…left me and my mum when I was young.”

Y/n’s brows furrowed in confusion. What? 

“I was probably five or six when he walked out on us…I never knew where he went, but he still sent money to my mum every now and then,” Johnny said, his voice quiet, distant.

Y/n blinked, trying to process what he was saying. What on earth was he talkin–

Shit.

Suddenly, it hit her. Johnny had briefly mentioned at the club how he could relate to her daddy issues. Her heart sank as she remembered that moment. 

She hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now, seeing the pain on his face, she realised how deeply it ran. Her face dropped, filled with sorrow as she listened.

“I hated him,” Johnny admitted, his voice growing heavier. “He ruined my life without even being in it.” 

His jaw clenched, and he looked away for a second, as though trying to keep himself composed. “Then when I was seventeen, I got news from my mum that…he died.”

Y/n’s breath hitched, her gaze falling to Johnny’s hands. She noticed the slight tremor in them and how his eyes glistened, the emotions he tried to bury rising to the surface. Without thinking, she reached out and gently took his hand in hers, squeezing it in silent support.

“I didn’t cry when he left at first,” Johnny continued, his voice breaking slightly. 

“But when I found out he was dead, I couldn’t stop. That’s when I realised...I would never have a father present in my life. Not even the hope of one.” His voice cracked, and before Y/n could say anything, tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Y/n didn’t hesitate. She launched forward and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Johnny didn’t resist, instead, he let himself fall into her comfort, his broad shoulders trembling as he broke down.

Y/n had never seen Johnny like this before. He was always the strong one, the one who picked up her broken emotions, who made things better with his happy nature and warm presence. But now, here he was, vulnerable and raw, the weight of years of buried pain finally catching up to him.

“It’s okay, Johnny,” she whispered, gently running her hand through his hair. “You don’t have to hold it all in anymore. I’m here.”

He clung to her like she was the only thing grounding him at that moment, his tears dampening her shirt, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was being there for him, the way he’d always been there for her.

Minutes passed, and slowly, Johnny’s sobs began to fade. His breathing steadied, but he didn’t loosen his grip on Y/n. He clung to her as he released the emotions he’d kept buried for so long.

Y/n rested her chin on his shoulder, her hand rubbing slow circles on his back. She remembered how many times Johnny had comforted her, his words, his comfort, the way he always seemed to know what to say to make things better. Now, it was her turn.

“You know,” she began softly, her voice low but steady, “you are so amazing. You’ve grown up to be an amazing man. That fuckhead missed out on a wonderful son.”

Johnny’s breath hitched slightly, but he stayed silent, listening.

“You always make things better for me,” Y/n continued. “Whenever I felt like I couldn’t handle things, you were there. You didn’t judge me, didn’t ask for anything in return. You just stayed. And that helped more than you know.”

She pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, her hands resting on his shoulders. “I will always be here for you when you need me.”

Johnny swallowed hard, his eyes still glassy with tears, but she could see how her words hit him. He was always the shoulder to lean on, he never really had the sentiment returned until now.

Johnny sniffled, wiping his face with the back of his hand as he tried to sit up straighter, regaining his composure. “God, that was embarrassing,” he muttered, avoiding Y/n’s gaze.

Y/n tilted her head. “If that was embarrassing, then I should be humiliated after all the times I cried my heart out to you.”

Johnny paused, glancing at her, and for the first time since the conversation began, a genuine chuckle escaped his lips. “Go ahead and cry all you want, I can’t judge you.”

They laughed together, the tension slowly easing into something lighter, something more familiar. Without saying anything else, Johnny reached out, pulling Y/n into his arms. This time, it wasn’t for comfort, it was just to hold her, like a giant teddy bear, solid and warm.

Y/n leaned into him, letting herself relax against his chest. They didn’t need words. The TV played softly in the background, filling the room with a quiet hum as they sat there, wrapped in each other’s presence. 

This wasn’t the conversation she had planned to have, but it was one she truly appreciated. Seeing Johnny open up, laying bare emotions he usually kept hidden behind his easygoing exterior, made her realise just how much he cared. 

It wasn’t an easy conversation, but in that moment, she knew it brought them closer.

-

Y/n stared at her phone, blinking a few times to make sure she was reading the email correctly. 

Congratulations on your Achievement! You’ve been selected to receive an award for excelling in Biochemistry this semester. Please attend the prizegiving ceremony on… 

The words practically leapt off the screen, and before she could stop herself, a wide grin spread across her face.

She reread the email, just to make sure she hadn’t imagined it, and then immediately jumped to her feet, excitement bubbling up inside her. 

“Oh my god!” she exclaimed to herself, clutching the phone tightly.

For a moment, Y/n stood there, feeling a bit silly for how excited she was over a university award. It wasn’t like she was getting a Nobel Prize or anything, but still…it made her feel good. 

Better about herself, actually. All those late nights cramming in the library, those moments where she thought she wasn’t smart enough, weren’t for nothing after all. Someone had noticed her efforts, and that recognition, however small, felt like a win.

And hey, there were gift vouchers that came with these awards, which was definitely a nice bonus.

Still smiling to herself, Y/n couldn’t help but think of Johnny. She felt a little ridiculous wanting to tell him right away, but he’d always been the one cheering her on when she was doubting herself the most. 

She almost started typing a message to Johnny, but then paused, biting her lip. As much as she wanted to tell him, she knew Yangyang would give her shit if he found out she’d told someone else before him. 

She quickly pulled up his number and gave him a call.

“Hey, what’s up?” Yangyang’s voice came through, light and cheerful as always.

“I just got an email…I’m getting an award for being an excelling student in biochem,” Y/n said, unable to hide the excitement in her voice.

“Yo! Really?!” Yangyang exclaimed. “We have to go out to celebrate. Clubbing! Shots! Full-on party mode.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, laughing. “Yeah, no. I was thinking of something a little more chill. We already went clubbing a couple weeks ago.”

“Fine, fine,” Yangyang teased. “How about dinner, then? I’ll take you somewhere nice.”

“That sounds perfect,” Y/n said, smiling. “Thanks, Yangyang.”

“Of course! You deserve it,” he said sincerely.

Y/n hung up the call, still grinning from ear to ear. She clutched her phone tightly, her giddy mood refusing to fade.

She had to go tell her dad. He’d definitely be proud of her, she was sure of it. Y/n ran downstairs, her excitement bubbling over as she entered the living room. 

Her dad was sitting on the couch, watching TV, his attention fully on the screen. She hesitated for a moment, feeling a sudden rush of nerves before shaking it off. 

“Dad?” she called out, stepping closer.

His eyes didn’t leave the tv. “Mhmm.”

“I just got an email,” Y/n said, trying to keep her voice steady, though the excitement spilled through in her tone. “I’m getting an award for being one of the top students in biochem.”

Her dad’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Really? That’s incredible, Bub.”

Before she could say another word, he stood up, walking over to her. To her surprise, he wrapped her in a tight hug, patting her back firmly. “I’m so proud of you. That’s really good, Bub.”

Y/n felt her throat tighten, overwhelmed by the warmth of his words. He didn’t say things like this often, but when he did, it stayed with her. She hugged him back, savouring the rare moment.

“Thanks, Dad,” she murmured, her voice soft.

He pulled back, stroking her hair in that familiar, affectionate way. “I’ll take you out some time to celebrate.”

As he settled back onto the couch, Y/n sat down beside him, still basking in the moment.

“I’ll forward the email to you, with the details of the prizegiving and stuff,” Y/n said.

“Sweet,” He said, his attention back on the tv.

-

Y/n returned home after dinner with Yangyang, they’d laughed over pasta, drank glasses of fizzy, and toasted to her success. As she kicked off her shoes and flopped onto her bed, a thought struck her. 

I still haven’t told Johnny!

She sat up quickly, clutching her phone. She hit his contact and waited for the call to connect.

“Hey, Y/n. What’s up?” Johnny’s familiar voice came through the phone.

“Okay, so…I have some news!” Y/n blurted, still unable to contain her excitement.

“Yeah?” His tone was light, curious.

“I got an award for biochem!” she said proudly, her heart racing as she waited for his reaction.

There was a brief pause on the other end, and then Johnny’s voice filled with excitement. “Are you serious? Y/n, that’s amazing! Oh my god, I’m so proud of you!”

Y/n felt her face heat up at his praise, a giddy blush creeping across her cheeks. “Thanks, Johnny. It feels kinda silly being this excited about it, but–”

“Hey, don’t even start. You should be excited! This is a big deal!” Johnny cut in, his voice filled with genuine enthusiasm. “You worked your ass off. Honestly, you’re incredible.”

Her heart pounded at his words, and she couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. “Stop, you’re embarassing me.”

“You deserve all the praise,” he said with a chuckle. “Okay, so when are we going out to celebrate? My treat.”

Y/n winced a little, feeling bad. “Uh…so…Yangyang already took me out for dinner.”

“Damn,” Johnny muttered. “He beat me to it. What else can we do, then?”

Y/n thought for a moment before an idea popped into her head, her voice turning playful. “Well…we didn’t get dessert.”

Johnny let out a low laugh. “Dessert, huh? I’ll pick you up in twenty.”

Y/n giggled, feeling her heart flutter. “Okay. See you soon.”

As she hung up, she found herself grinning from ear to ear. Having a good meal with Yangyang, and now having desert with Johnny. 

Could this night get any better?

Twenty minutes later, Y/n heard the familiar rumble of Johnny’s car pulling up outside. She grabbed her jacket, still buzzing with excitement, and hurried out the door. As she approached the car, Johnny rolled down the window and grinned at her.

“Hey, superstar,” he greeted, his voice teasing yet warm.

Y/n rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “Don’t embarrass me, it’s just a uni award. And thanks for coming out this late.”

“Anything for you.” He winked as Y/n slid into the passenger seat and buckled in.

“Picked up a cake on the way. We can celebrate back at mine.” he said, reaching into the back seat and placing a box on her lap. 

Y/n opened the box to reveal a beautifully decorated cake, and her heart swelled at the thoughtful gesture. “Johnny…you didn’t have to do this. Ice cream would have been fine.”

He shrugged, putting the car in drive. “Of course I did. I mean, how often do you get an award? Gotta do it right.”

Her cheeks flushed, the weight of his words sinking in. She wasn’t used to someone going out of their way for her like this, and Johnny made it feel so effortless. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“Yeah, I do,” he said with a smirk, earning a playful shove from Y/n. “But seriously, you deserve it. Tonight’s about you.”

As they drove through the quiet streets, the excitement of the day still lingered in Y/n’s chest, but now it was mixed with a warmth only Johnny seemed to bring out in her. Celebrating at his place, just the two of them, sounded perfect.

-

Once they got to Johnny’s place, Y/n kicked off her shoes and plopped down on the couch. She watched as Johnny disappeared into the kitchen, rummaging around with an air of determined enthusiasm.

A few moments later, he returned, balancing a tray loaded with a couple of cans of fizzy, plates, utensils, and, of course, the cake, now topped with a single candle flickering softly. He set everything down on the coffee table and grinned at her.

Y/n raised an eyebrow, eyeing the candle. “Johnny, that isn’t necessary. It’s not my birthday.”

“Nonsense.” He gave her a playful look, lighting the candle with a lighter. “You’re celebrating something big. That’s worth a wish and a candle, don’t you think?”

She tried to hide her smile but failed miserably. With a small laugh, she leaned forward, clasped her hands together, and closed her eyes. “If my wish doesn’t come true, I blame you.”

Johnny chuckled. “Sounds fair.”

Y/n took a deep breath, made her wish, and blew out the candle. The tiny flame blew out, leaving only a trail of smoke floating into the air. Johnny clapped lightly, grinning like it was a real birthday celebration.

“Congratulations! What did you wish for?” he asked immediately.

You.

“I’m not telling! It won’t come true if I do,” she laughed, shaking her head as he grabbed the knife to cut the cake.

“Come on! You just said making a wish wasn’t necessary, now you won’t even tell me your wish,” Johnny said, slicing generous pieces of cake and placing them on plates.

“I ain’t taking no chances,” Y/n said as she accepted her slice. 

Johnny grabbed his slice of cake and plopped down on the couch next to Y/n, sitting close enough that their shoulders brushed. 

He handed her a fork with a little smirk. “Go on, you’ve earned it. First bite goes to the award-winner.”

Y/n laughed, shaking her head. “It’s not that amazing, Johnny,” she mumbled, taking a bite nonetheless.

Johnny leaned back against the couch, watching her with that same teasing glint in his eyes. “Don’t downplay it. You clearly worked your ass off for this. You should be proud.”

“You know what, yeah, I should be!” she replied playfully, flashing him a grin. “I’m amazing!”

He chuckled, reaching over to ruffle her hair. “There’s my good girl.”

Her fork froze halfway to her mouth, her heart suddenly racing.

“Oh, so you do remember what I said back at the club,” she muttered.

Johnny leaned in a little, resting his arm along the back of the couch. “Of course, I remember.” His tone softened, losing some of its teasing edge. “And I meant it.”

Y/n couldn’t look away from him. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest, and her mind scrambled to make sense of what she was hearing. 

Where was all of this coming from? There was no alcohol to blame this time, no hazy late-night atmosphere clouding their words. 

“You have no idea what I would do for you, Y/n.” His voice was low as he carefully placed his slice of cake down on the coffee table.

Leaning back, he allowed his gaze to sweep over her, as if taking in every detail, memorizing her stunned expression in that moment.

“If you were mine, there’s nothing I wouldn’t give you,” he said quietly, the sincerity in his voice sending a shiver down her spine. “All you’d have to do is ask. You’re too precious to be treated like an afterthought.”

Her lips parted slightly, but no words came. She was shocked, trapped in his steady gaze, the weight of his confession pressing down on her in the most unexpected way. 

“Johnny–” she began, but he cut her off with a sigh, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his head dropping briefly before he lifted it again, meeting her eyes with raw emotion.

“I know I shouldn’t be saying these things to you,” he murmured, his voice tinged with guilt. “I know I shouldn’t feel this way about you, but I can’t help it, Y/n. I can’t stop thinking about you. Every time I see you…it’s like nothing else matters.”

The longing in his eyes was unmistakable, and it pulled at something deep inside her. She swallowed hard, trying to steady herself.

“Johnny…” she whispered, unsure of what to say, yet feeling the weight of his vulnerability settle over her. 

There was no teasing smirk on his face this time, no playful comment to ease the tension. This was real, raw, and it left her breathless.

She didn’t know what to say, but she knew exactly what she wanted. Her mind was racing, yet her heart seemed to know the answer before she did. 

“Can you…tell me more?” she whispered, her voice soft but steady.

Johnny’s eyes widened in surprise, clearly not expecting that response. For a moment, he just stared at her, as if trying to gauge whether she truly meant it. When he saw the sincerity in her expression, something in his gaze softened, and the tension in his shoulders seemed to ease.

Y/n carefully placed her own slice of cake down on the coffee table and, without thinking too much, scooted closer to him. The space between them was now nearly nonexistent, and she could feel the warmth radiating from him. 

“I want to hear it,” she said, her eyes locked on his as she placed her hand on top of his. “I want to know how you feel…because I don’t think you realise how much it means to me.”

Johnny exhaled slowly, his hand turning over to entwine his fingers with hers. His thumb gently traced the back of her hand, grounding himself in the moment. 

“Y/n, you deserve so much more than you get, and I want to be the one to give you that,” he said quietly. “I want to give you everything your dad couldn’t.”

Her breath hitched at his words, a blush creeping up her neck. She wasn’t used to being spoken to like this. And yet, here Johnny was, laying it all bare without hesitation.

The air between them grew heavier, charged with something neither of them could deny. Y/n felt her pulse quicken as Johnny’s gaze locked onto hers, deep and unwavering. Neither of them said a word, but the tension between them spoke volumes.

Her heart pounded in her chest, and before she could second-guess herself, she leaned in slightly, her voice barely above a whisper. “If I was your little girl…what would you do to me right now?”

The question hung in the air, a quiet echo of the conversation they’d had back at the bar, only now, there was nothing playful about it. Her words were laced with vulnerability and something more daring.

Johnny’s eyes darkened, his expression shifting into something more serious, more intense. He inhaled slowly, as if steadying himself, and leaned in just a little closer, his voice low. 

“Whatever you want me to,” he murmured, his tone smooth and steady, but with an edge of restraint.

Y/n’s breath hitched at his response, a shiver running down her spine. He was waiting for her next move, giving her control over whatever came next. Her fingers tightened slightly around his, and for a moment, all she could hear was the pounding of her own heart.

“Then…” she said, her voice soft and her eyes flicking to his lips before meeting his gaze again. “Kiss me.”

Johnny didn’t hesitate. He jolted forward, closing the small gap between them, his free hand gently cupping her cheek. The moment their lips met, it was soft yet electrifying, the sweet taste of cake still lingering on their lips. Y/n’s eyes fluttered shut as she melted into the kiss, her heart racing faster with every second.

It wasn’t hurried or desperate, it was slow and full of emotion as if Johnny was pouring everything he felt for her into that single moment. His thumb brushed her cheek before falling behind her neck, holding her.

Her lips parted slightly, her own breathing hitching as her body leaned instinctively closer. “Johnny…” she whispered, her voice barely audible against Johnny’s lips, but it was all the encouragement he needed.

The kiss became deeper, more desperate, as if a dam had broken between them. His hand on her neck pulled her closer as his other arm wrapped around her waist. Y/n let herself sink into him, her hands gripping his shoulders before sliding up to tangle in his hair.

He pulled back briefly, just enough to murmur against her lips. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” His voice was thick, his hand at her waist tightening slightly, his thumb brushing the curve of her hip.

Y/n’s heart raced, her cheeks flushing as she met his gaze. “Good,” she replied, her voice shaky but teasing, a boldness rising within her. “Because you do the same to me.”

Johnny groaned softly, a deep, frustrated sound that sent a thrill through her. He leaned forward, pressing her back against the couch as his lips found hers again. 

This time, there was no hesitation, no holding back. His hand slid under the hem of her shirt, his fingertips brushing against the bare skin of her waist, sending a jolt of electricity through her.

Y/n gasped softly at the contact, her body arching into him instinctively. She could feel the tension between them building, unable to ignore it.

“Tell me to stop,” Johnny whispered against her lips, his voice raw and breathless. 

His forehead rested against hers, his chest rising and falling with the same uneven rhythm as hers. “If this is too much, if I’m too much, just tell me, and I’ll stop.”

But Y/n shook her head, her hands clutching at his shirt, her eyes locking with his. “Don’t stop,” she whispered, her voice firm and certain. “I don’t want you to stop.”

That was all Johnny needed. His lips crashed against hers again, growing more consuming. The intensity of the moment was magnetic, pulling them into their own world where nothing else existed, just the heat between them, their breaths, and the electric connection they shared.

Johnny’s lips left hers, trailing a path down the side of her face, slow and deliberate, as though savouring every inch of her. His mouth lingered at her jawline, where he pressed a series of soft, teasing kisses before suckling gently at her skin.

Y/n’s breath hitched, her eyes fluttering shut as a wave of warmth coursed through her. She tilted her head instinctively, granting him more access, her heart pounding in her chest. She let herself melt into his touch, her body surrendering entirely to him.

Johnny’s tongue slipped out, gliding along the curve of her jaw in a way that sent sparks shooting through her veins. He moved lower, his lips grazing the sensitive skin of her neck, leaving a trail of heat wherever they touched. The gentle scrape of his teeth followed by the soothing warmth of his tongue made her pulse race even faster.

Her hands clung to the fabric of his shirt, anchoring herself against the dizzying sensations he was creating. She felt her body respond instinctively, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. 

Every nerve seemed to come alive under his touch, every thought replaced by the overwhelming reality of him.

“Johnny…” she whispered, her voice trembling with the pleasure his lips promised. 

Her mind struggled to grasp what was happening, but her heart didn’t care, it was doing backflips, completely lost in the moment.

Johnny pulled back slightly, his breath hot against her skin, his gaze locking onto hers with an intensity that sent shivers down her spine. His eyes were dark, filled with a desire he no longer tried to hide. 

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me, Y/n,” he murmured, his voice thick, every word laced with raw honesty.

Her lips parted as if to respond, but the words never came. Instead, her hand lifted, fingers brushing against his cheek before sliding to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. 

Johnny didn’t hesitate, his lips finding hers again, capturing them in a kiss that was deeper. His hands slid to her waist, gripping her firmly, as though she were something precious in his grasp. 

She melted into him, her fingers tangling in his hair as the kiss grew more urgent, their breaths mingling as they explored this newfound connection.

But then Johnny stilled, his lips hovering just above hers as he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against hers. His breath came in shallow and his voice was quiet when he spoke.

“Y/n…” he began, his hands settling on her hips, steadying her. “You deserve more than this.”

She blinked up at him, dazed, her lips swollen and her heart racing. “What do you mean?”

He smiled softly, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead. “I mean you deserve better than a couch,” he said, his voice filled with warmth and care. “If I’m going to do this, if I’m going to show you how much you mean to me, it’s going to be right.”

Johnny broke their kiss with a sharp exhale, his chest heaving as he sat back on the couch, his hands still resting on her waist. 

For a moment, he just looked at her, his eyes tracing every detail of her face as if committing her to memory. Then, with a sudden movement, he rose to his feet, towering over her.

Y/n blinked up at him, her breath catching in her throat as he extended a hand toward her. His fingers brushed hers before he clasped her hand firmly, tugging her up from the couch in one smooth motion.

“Come with me,” he said, his voice laced with a determination that sent shivers down her spine.

She barely had time to process before Johnny was leading her through the dimly lit space, his grip on her hand strong and steady. He pulled her through the house quickly, basically dragging her down the hall.

He pushed open the bedroom door without hesitation. Johnny turned to face her, still holding her hand as he pulled her closer. His free hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against her skin as his gaze searched hers.

“I don’t want to rush this,” he murmured, his voice softer now but no less intent. “But I can’t keep holding back, not when I’ve wanted this–wanted you, for so long.”

Y/n’s lips parted, her heart pounding as she nodded, her fingers tightening around his. “I don’t want you to hold back,” she whispered, her voice trembling but sure.

Johnny smiled then, a mix of relief and longing, and he guided her inside, letting the door fall closed behind them.

The moment the door clicked shut, Johnny’s lips were on hers again, claiming her with a hunger that sent a shiver down her spine. His hands slid up to her shoulders, his touch firm yet careful as he guided her backward toward the bed. Y/n clung to his shirt, her fingers holding the fabric as if letting go would take her away from this moment.

With each slow step, the air between them grew heavier. When the back of her knees finally met the edge of the mattress, Johnny’s hands traced down her arms before gently pressing against her waist, easing her down onto the soft sheets.

Her breath hitched as she looked up at him, her heart somersaulting in her chest. The dim glow from the window cast shadows across his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw and the warmth in his half-lidded eyes. He loomed over her, his broad shoulders filling her vision, his arms on either side of her as he hovered just above.

Johnny dipped his head, his lips ghosting over her cheek as he whispered, his voice low and full of promise. “I’m gonna take real good care of you, Y/n.”

The warmth of his breath sent a delicious shiver through her, and as he pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, she knew she was his, and she had never felt safer handing herself over.

The kiss he pressed against her lips was filled with a hunger that neither of them could suppress any longer. Their hands roamed, fingers grasping and tugging at fabric, desperate to feel more skin, more heat, more of each other.

Johnny straightened as he reached behind his head, gripping the collar of his shirt and pulling it over his head in one swift motion. The moment he tossed it aside, Y/n’s breath caught in her throat, her gaze instinctively dropping to his muscular chest. The way the light from the window traced over his toned muscles made it impossible to look away, until Johnny’s eyes found hers again, dark with intent.

She pushed up onto her elbows, her fingers moving to the hem of her own shirt, but Johnny was quicker. His hands slipped beneath the fabric, brushing against her skin as he lifted it over her head and tossed it aside. Before she could take another breath, he was back, his lips claiming hers once more as she melted beneath him.

His touch was slow, his large hands gliding down her sides, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. When his fingers reached the waistband of her pants, he paused, his grip tightening slightly as if asking for permission.

Y/n arched her hips in silent approval, and Johnny wasted no time, pulling the fabric down her legs with a tantalising slowness that sent a thrill through her. 

Johnny pulled away again, and the loss of his lips left Y/n aching and breathless, her body instinctively leaning forward as if to chase him. But then his hand dropped to the button of his pants, and her breath hitched.

She didn’t look away. Instead, she slowly shuffled back toward the centre of the bed, settling against the pillows, waiting, watching. The anticipation in her gaze, the way her chest rose and fell in uneven breaths, it made Johnny pause for a second, his lips curling into the faintest smirk.

Johnny’s gaze lingered on her as he slowly undid his belt. “You’re making it hard to focus, Y/n,” he murmured

Y/n’s lips curled into a smile, her eyes not leaving his. “I’m not doing anything.”

Johnny chuckled softly as he grabbed his pants. “You don’t have to.” 

Johnny pushed his pants down, letting them drop to the floor before stepping out of them. His movements quick, trying to get back to her as quickly as possible. Y/n’s breath hitched as her eyes traced over the sharp lines of his body.

Before she could process anything else, Johnny was back on top of her, his hands slipping around her waist as he guided her back down against the mattress. She squeaked and grabbed his shoulders as he moved her.

“Relax, sweetheart,” he murmured, his lips brushing against her jaw as he settled above her. “I’ve got you.”

Johnny’s lips found hers again, his hands roamed over her body, fingers tracing every curve. His kiss was consuming, leaving her breathless, her hands gripping onto his shoulders as if he were the only thing keeping her grounded.

A soft hum escaped her as he pressed a trail of kisses down her neck. But then she let out a breathless laugh, tilting her head to the side.

“Johnny,” she murmured against his lips, “we still have our underwear on. Not much we can do with that.”

Johnny pulled back slightly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, his eyes dark with amusement. “Oh,” he murmured, dragging his fingers along her waist, “there are plenty of things I can do with it still on.” He leaned in, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear. “But since you wanna get to it…”

Johnny’s fingers traced the straps of her bra, his touch featherlight as he slipped them down her shoulders. His lips followed, pressing soft, lingering kisses against the newly exposed skin. 

He reached behind her, unhooking the clasp. His gaze darkened as he took her in as he pulled the fabric away.

“Wow,” he murmured, his voice filled with admiration.

His hands trailed lower, gliding over her hips before slipping beneath the thin fabric of her underwear. He took his time, savouring the moment as he dragged it down her thighs, letting it join the rest of their discarded clothing.

Johnny sat back for a moment, his eyes raking over her, drinking in every inch of her bare form. The heat in his gaze sent a shiver down her spine, anticipation churning in her stomach. His lips parted slightly, his breathing deep and measured as if he was trying to compose himself.

“God, Y/n…” he exhaled.

His own followed, discarded just as quickly, giving her no time to look herself as he was back, closer than before, his body flush against hers. His lips found hers again, hungrier than ever.

“I wanna taste you,” Johnny gasped against her lips.

Y/n’s breath hitched, her eyes fluttering open in shock. “T-taste me?” she stammered.

But Johnny didn’t answer, his lips curled into a smirk before he began his descent, trailing heated kisses down her neck, her collarbone, over the swell of her chest, and lower still. 

When he reached her hips, he grasped them firmly, pressing one last kiss to her navel before pushing her legs apart. His hands held her thighs steady, his grip firm as he settled between them.

A soft whimper escaped her lips as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the inside of her thigh, his fingers digging into the soft flesh. He was taking his time, savouring the moment, watching her every reaction.

Her heart pounded, a mix of excitement and nerves swirling inside her as he inched closer to her core. She barely had time to process the intensity in his gaze before he finally closed the distance, his lips latching onto her sensitive clit.

A sharp gasp tore from her throat, her back arching as pleasure flooded her senses. Johnny groaned against her, his grip tightening as he pushed her thighs further apart, making room for himself.

Johnny’s tongue performed magic, delving into her opening before gliding back up to flick against her bundle of nerves. The way he moved had Y/n unravelling beneath him, her body trembling with every stroke of his tongue.

The pleasure was overwhelming, unlike anything she’d ever felt before. A breathy moan escaped her lips as her fingers instinctively tangled into his dark hair, gripping tightly in a desperate attempt to ground herself.

Her thighs twitched, instinctively trying to shut, but Johnny wasn’t having it. His strong hands tightened around her thighs, keeping her wide open for him. He let out a low hum of approval, the vibrations sending a new wave of pleasure through her.

“Don’t hide from me, sweetheart,” he murmured against her, the heat of his breath making her shiver. “I want to taste every bit of you.”

Y/n whimpered, her chest rising and falling rapidly as Johnny continued, his tongue slipping inside her again before coming back to swirl around her sensitive bud. Her fingers clenched in his hair, tugging slightly, but Johnny only groaned in response, watching the way she was falling apart under his touch.

“Johnny,” she moaned, her voice trembling, her breath coming in short, desperate gasps as she felt her insides tighten as her orgasm neared.

Johnny must have noticed too, with the way her thighs tensed and the way her body trembled beneath him, because just when she was on the edge, he pressed one last, lingering kiss against her mound before pulling back completely, leaving her aching and empty.

A shocked whimper slipped out Y/n’s lips, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she stared at him in utter disbelief. Her legs were still open, her body overwhelming with unfulfilled pleasure, and yet Johnny was pulling away, his dark eyes gleaming with mischief.

“What the fuck?” she breathed, her voice filled with frustration.

Johnny merely chuckled, the sound deep and rich as he licked the corner of his mouth with his tongue. Without another word, he shifted, moving back up her body until they were face to face, his weight pressing her into the mattress.

His lips hovered just above hers, teasing. “Relax, little girl,” he murmured, his breath warm against her lips. “I just wanna feel you fall apart around me the right way.”

Johnny didn’t give her a chance to protest, not that she could have, not when his lips crashed back against hers, stealing whatever breath she had left. 

The kiss was deep and slow, and it wasn’t long before she tasted herself on his tongue. The realization sent a new wave of heat rushing through her, her body responding instantly to the way he moved against her.

His hands found her thighs, fingers digging in as he gripped them firmly, guiding them up and around his hips. The shift brought them even closer, her body molding perfectly beneath his. 

His fingers traced slow, soothing circles against her skin, as if grounding her in the moment. “You ready?” His voice was husky, thick with restraint, but his eyes were burning with need, they left no doubt about how much he wanted this. Wanted her.

Y/n swallowed hard, nodding as her fingers curled around his biceps. “Yeah,” she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. “I’m ready, Johnny.”

With one last lingering kiss, he adjusted his hold on her legs, pulling her in closer. Reaching between the two, Johnny lined himself up, right at her entrance. And then, finally, he began to push forward, inch by inch, stretching and filling her in a way that had her gasping his name all over again.

Johnny groaned as he eased into her, his grip on her thighs tightening as he fought to keep himself steady. Y/n's breath hitched, her fingers digging into his arms, anchoring herself as he filled her completely. 

He stilled for a moment, pressing his forehead to hers, giving her time to adjust. His hands soothed over her skin, trailing from her thighs to her waist, grounding her. 

"You okay?" His voice was strained, his self-control hanging by a thread.

Y/n let out a shaky breath, her heart pounding. “Mhmm,” she hummed, rolling her hips just slightly, letting him know she wanted more.

That was all it took for Johnny’s restraint to snap. A low curse left his lips as he pulled back, then pushed in again, setting a slow, deep rhythm that had Y/n gasping, each thrust sending sparks of pleasure through her.

“Johnny..” Her voice broke, pleasure unraveling her completely.

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he murmured against her lips before capturing them in a kiss. 

One of his hands slipped between them, his fingers finding her clit and sent her spiraling, drawing even more pleasure from her until she was arching beneath him, lost in sensation.

Johnny’s voice was a low murmur against her lips. “You like that, little girl?”

Y/n’s breath hitched, her chest rising and falling with every heated second between them. Johnny’s lips traveled to her jaw, pressing rough kisses against her skin. His teeth grazed lightly before he nibbled, making her exhale a soft, trembling sigh.

“You sound so sweet when you breathe like that,” he murmured, his voice thick with satisfaction.

Y/n gripped onto him, her body melting into his touch. “Johnny…” she whispered, the way she said his name making his grip tighten.

“Tell me what you want,” he coaxed, his lips brushing just below her ear.

Y/n’s lips parted, but all she could manage was a breathless, desperate, “More.”

Johnny’s eyes darkened, his grip on her thighs tightening as a slow smirk tugged at his lips. “More?” he echoed, his voice dripping with satisfaction. “I can give you more, baby.”

Without another word, he adjusted his hold, lifting her legs and hooking them over his shoulders. The new angle had her gasping, her fingers gripping onto his arms as he pressed into her deeper, forcing her body to submit entirely to him.

“That’s it,” Johnny murmured, his voice low and commanding.

Y/n’s back arched, her body surrendering completely as his pace grew more rough. He held her there, locked in place, making sure she felt every inch of him, every movement that sent her spiraling further into submission.

His name fell from her lips in broken, breathless whimpers, her fingers clutching desperately at the sheets beneath her. The intensity was overwhelming, his pace slow but deep, each movement sending heat curling deep in her core.

Johnny watched her, eyes dark and filled with something primal. “That’s my girl,” he murmured, his hands gripping her thighs as he pushed deeper, the new angle making her toes curl. “You feel that? How good you take me?”

All Y/n could do was nod, her voice failing her, reduced to soft moans and gasps as pleasure crashed over her in waves. Johnny leaned forward, folding her even further beneath him, his lips ghosting over hers as his breath mixed with hers.

“Let go, baby,” he whispered, his voice rough with restraint. “Give it to me.”

Her body trembled, the pressure in her core tightening, building to something uncontrollable. And when Johnny rolled his hips just right, she shattered, her cry muffled against his lips as her orgasm overtook her.

Johnny groaned, feeling her pulse around him, his grip on her tightening as he chased his own release. A few more deep thrusts, and he was right there with her, a low moan spilling from his lips as he buried himself deep, his body trembling against hers as he filled her with his hot cum.

For a moment, neither of them moved, their ragged breaths the only sound in the quiet room. Johnny finally exhaled, pressing slow, lazy kisses to her collarbone as he dropped her legs back down, his fingers tracing soothing circles on her skin.

“You okay?” he murmured, his voice softer now, laced with tenderness.

Y/n let out a small, breathy laugh, her arms wrapping around his neck as she nuzzled into him. “Better than okay.”

Johnny smirked against her skin, but this time, there was no teasing edge, just warmth. He pulled her closer, their bodies still tangled together as their breathing slowly evened out.

“You did so well,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. “Not just now, but with the award. I’m proud of you, Y/n.”

Y/n let out a sleepy hum, her fingers tracing lazy patterns against his back. “Mmm…Thank you, Johnny.” Her voice was drowsy, content.

He smiled, smoothing a hand over her hair. “You deserve it, you know? You work hard. And I love seeing you shine.”

A warmth spread through her chest at his words, and she tightened her hold around him. “Means a lot coming from you.”

Johnny chuckled, nudging her nose with his before settling deeper into the mattress. “Get some rest, baby,” he whispered, his voice softer now. “You earned it.”

With one last lingering kiss, they drifted off, wrapped up in each other, the weight of the night settling into a peaceful stillness. 

She didn’t know when her luck got so good, but she wasn’t about to complain. 

-

But of course, Y/n’s luck never lasted long. It never did.

The next morning, she woke to an empty bed, the warmth from the night before already faded. But that didn’t bother her, not after everything that had happened.

Sitting up, she stretched, the golden morning light spilling through the windows, casting long shadows across the room. They’d been too caught up in each other to even think about drawing the curtains. A small smile tugged at her lips at the memory.

Her gaze drifted across the room, searching for any sign of Johnny, but all that remained was the faint scent of him lingering in the sheets. With a quiet sigh, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, reaching for the scattered clothes on the floor, slipping them back on one by one.

As Y/n slipped her shirt over her head, she stepped out of the bedroom, her bare feet padding softly against the cool floor. The moment she entered the living room, she spotted Johnny pacing back and forth, his jaw clenched, one hand running through his hair.

She paused in the doorway, brows furrowing. “Johnny?” Her voice was soft, cautious. “You good?”

He stopped but didn’t turn right away. His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath before he finally faced her.

That’s when she saw it, something was wrong. It was written all over his face. The tension in his features, the way his fingers flexed at his sides, like he was holding something back.

Y/n took a slow step forward. “Johnny…what’s going on?”

Johnny let out a heavy sigh, rubbing a hand down his face before finally meeting her eyes. His expression was pained, conflicted.

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” he said, his voice quieter now, rough around the edges. “None of that should have happened.”

Her stomach twisted. “W-what?” 

She took a shaky step closer, searching his face for something, anything, that made sense of what he was saying. “Johnny, what are you talking about?”

He shook his head, exhaling sharply. “You’re too young. I should’ve never come onto you like that.”

Her heart clenched. “But I wanted it.”

“That’s not the point.” His tone was firm, almost bitter. “I should have never wanted it. I should have known better.”

Y/n opened her mouth, but nothing came out. The warmth from last night, the way he touched her like she meant something, the way he whispered her name, it was all unraveling before her eyes.

Johnny took a step back, putting distance between them. “It was wrong, Y/n. And I can’t take that back.”

Y/n took a step forward, her brows knitting together in frustration. “Johnny, I wanted it to happen,” she insisted, her voice firm but laced with emotion. “I like you. And I can legally be with you. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Johnny let out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head. “You don’t get it,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not about what’s legal, Y/n. It’s about what’s right.”

Her chest tightened. “It doesn’t matter,” she pressed, reaching for him, but he took another step back.

“It should..” His voice dropped lower, heavy with something deeper, something that made her stomach sink. 

He looked at her then, really looked at her. “Because I can’t have that weighing on my conscience. I can’t be the guy who takes advantage of you.”

Her breath caught. “You didn’t–”

“But what if I did?” he cut in, his gaze sharp. “What if that’s exactly what happened?” He let out a bitter laugh, his jaw tightening. “Yangyang warned you this would happen. Looks like I’m proving him right. And now, look at us.”

Y/n felt like the floor had been pulled out from under her. “Yangyang?” Her heart pounded, her hands curling into fists at her sides. “So what?” she snapped. “You’re just gonna listen to that guy? Act like last night meant nothing?”

Johnny exhaled sharply, his expression torn. “I’m saying it shouldn’t have happened,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “Because no matter how much I want you, Y/n…it’s wrong.”

Y/n’s eyes widened in disbelief before narrowing into a glare. “What about what I want?” she shot back, her voice rising. “Does that not matter to you at all?”

Johnny let out a frustrated sigh, dragging a hand down his face. “Y/n, you don’t even know what you want,” he said, exasperated. “You’re too young.”

Her jaw dropped. “Are you fucking serious?” she scoffed, taking a step back like he’d just slapped her. “You think I don’t know what I want just because I’m younger than you?”

Johnny clenched his fists at his sides, avoiding her sharp gaze. “I think you’re still figuring things out,” he muttered, but it sounded weak even to him.

Y/n let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “Wow,” she said, crossing her arms. “That’s actually insane. You didn’t seem to have a problem with my age last night.”

Johnny flinched, his face tightening. “That’s exactly the problem, Y/n.”

“No,” she snapped, stepping forward. “The problem is that you’re treating me like some clueless little kid who doesn’t know her own feelings. I know what I want, Johnny. I wanted you.”

He finally met her gaze, something torn and conflicted flickering in his eyes. “And that’s exactly why this is wrong,” he said, his voice softer now, almost pained. “Because I should’ve never let it get to this point.”

Y/n’s heart sank, a heavy weight settling in her chest as his words hit her like a cold bucket of water being poured over her. She felt defeated, helpless, as though all of her emotions and desires from the night before had been reduced to nothing but foolishness. 

Her stomach twisted in humiliation. Did she really look so helpless to him? Maybe she had made herself look desperate, foolish in her own eyes.

She took a shaky breath, trying to push the lump in her throat away. "I think I should go," she murmured, the words tasting bitter on her tongue.

Johnny looked at her with a hint of guilt, his shoulders slumping. "I’ll drive you to Yangyang’s," he said softly, as though offering some sort of comfort, but all it did was make Y/n’s blood boil.

Her eyes shot up to meet his, and she straightened, her posture suddenly brimming with defiance. "Fuck you," she spat, her voice sharp and cutting. "I can get there myself."

Johnny flinched, clearly taken aback by her reaction, but Y/n couldn’t bring herself to care. She grabbed her bag and made her way toward the door, her heart heavy but her mind set. As much as it hurt, she needed to leave, to get out of that space that now felt suffocating.

Without looking back, she stepped out into the hall, slamming the door behind her. Y/n's legs felt heavy with each step as she walked down the hallway, the weight of everything pressing down on her chest. 

She couldn’t stop the tears from falling, hot and relentless as they blurred her vision. She wiped them away angrily, trying to steady herself, but the humiliation of it all, of being rejected, of feeling like she was nothing more than a mistake, was too much. 

She pulled her phone from her bag, her hands trembling as she unlocked it. Her fingers hovered for a moment over the screen before she quickly dialed Yangyang’s number. The elevator doors slid open with a soft chime, and Y/n stepped inside, leaning against the wall as she waited for the call to connect.

The ringing seemed to stretch out, each second longer than the last. Y/n bit her lip, trying to choke back the sob that threatened to escape. The silence was only broken when Yangyang's voice finally came through.

“Y/n? What’s up?” His voice was calm, but there was an edge of concern beneath it.

Y/n took a shaky breath, trying to gather her thoughts. "Yangyang," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I need you. Please."

-

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Yangyang asked, his voice quiet but insistent, for what must have been the third time.

Y/n stared out of the car window, the tears still falling, too exhausted to wipe them away anymore. She could feel the weight of everything pressing down on her, suffocating, and she just wanted to escape it for a little while.

Yangyang glanced at her briefly before focusing back on the road. "Do I need to turn this car around and go beat up Johnny?" 

Y/n let out a shaky laugh, though it barely sounded like one. "No, he'd waste you," she replied, her voice hoarse. "I'll tell you when we get to yours."

She wiped her face with the back of her hand, but the tears wouldn’t stop. The silence in the car felt thick, and Y/n found herself staring out at the passing scenery, feeling more lost than she had in a long time.

The car stopped out fron Yangyang’s and the moment they stepped inside, Y/n made a beeline for his bedroom, her limbs heavy with exhaustion. As soon as she reached his bed, she collapsed onto it face-first, letting out a muffled groan against the sheets.

Yangyang shut the door behind them, crossing his arms as he leaned against it. "Alright, are you going to tell me what happened?"

Y/n sighed, rolling onto her back to stare at the ceiling. "You're just gonna call me an idiot."

Yangyang scoffed. "Yeah, probably. But what’s new?"

She let out a dry laugh, but it faded quickly. Swallowing hard, she finally admitted, "I slept with Johnny."

Yangyang’s eyebrows shot up, his expression unreadable. "Shocker…and?"

"And then this morning, he regretted it." The words tasted bitter on her tongue. 

Saying it out loud made it feel even worse, like it was something that was officially real, something she couldn’t take back.

Yangyang let out a slow exhale, rubbing his face. "Shit."

Yangyang sat down next to Y/n on the bed, the mattress dipping beside her. She turned her head to look at him, only to find the look of pity in his eyes. It made her stomach twist. She didn’t want to be pitied.

“You can just go ahead and tell me how fucking stupid I am,” Y/n muttered, forcing a weak smile.

Yangyang hesitated for a moment before sighing. “...I did try to warn you.” His voice was quiet, careful, but it still stung.

Y/n let out a humourless laugh, shaking her head. “Yeah, I know…I should’ve listened.” Her voice wavered, but she kept going. “I just thought I wouldn’t even have a chance with him, so there was nothing to avoid in the first place. I didn’t think this would actually happen.”

Yangyang stayed quiet for a moment, then asked, “Tell me what happened.”

Y/n exhaled, staring up at the wall. “I went over to his place after dinner with you. It was supposed to be a celebration…he got me a cake and everything.” Her voice softened at the memory before she scoffed at herself. “We made out…had sex…slept…and then morning came, and he told me it should’ve never happened.”

Yangyang squinted his eyes, questioning the situation. “So, what? He just acted like the whole thing was a mistake?”

Y/n swallowed hard. “Pretty much.”

“What an asswipe,” Yangyang muttered, shaking his head. “You want me to talk to him?”

Y/n let out a tired laugh, though it lacked any real amusement. “Nah, not worth it…I just wanna forget any of this ever happened.”

Yangyang narrowed his eyes. “You’re not still gonna be friends with him, right?”

“Fuck no,” Y/n scoffed, burrowing her face deeper into the pillow. “I can’t even face him again. He probably doesn’t even wanna be friends with me either. I mean, I’m clearly too young for even that.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm, but underneath it, there was bitterness.

Yangyang blinked, confused. “...Huh?”

Y/n sighed, for what felt like the hundredth time. “He said I’m too young to be with him. And like…maybe he’s right, but come on! He already fucked me, so what’s the issue now?” She let out a humourless scoff. “Oh, and he said you were right.”

Yangyang grinned, leaning back on his hands. “I’m always right.”

Y/n rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small, dry laugh that escaped her lips. “Yeah, yeah. But basically, he made it clear, I’m too young to even think about him like that. So that’s the end of that, I guess.”

Yangyang clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “Damn. He really fumbled.”

“Guess so,” Y/n muttered, but the ache in her chest told her it wasn’t that simple.

-

It had been a week since everything went down, yet the ache in Y/n’s chest refused to fade. She knew there was nothing she could do to change what had happened, that it was out of her hands, but that didn’t stop her from replaying it over and over in her mind. 

What could she have said differently? What could she have done to make him stay?

But no matter how much she thought about it, the answer was always the same. It didn’t matter. Johnny had made his choice. And now, she had to let go.

Tonight was supposed to be a big night. Prizegiving. The moment all her hard work would finally be recognized. Yangyang was coming to pick her up soon, and her dad was supposed to come straight from work. It should have been exciting. It should have been a night worth celebrating.

Yet here she was, sitting on the edge of her bed in her formal dress, twiddling her fingers in her lap, staring blankly at the floor. She should be happy. She should feel proud. But all she felt was hollow.

Johnny had tainted this moment for her. Because no matter how much she tried to push it aside, no matter how much she told herself it didn’t matter, the truth was, she wanted him there.

Y/n’s phone buzzed beside her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She glanced at the screen. It was Yangyang.

Outside boi!

Rolling her eyes, she let out a small sigh before grabbing her bag. She stood, smoothing out her dress, and took one last look in the mirror. Her reflection stared back at her, polished, put together, but she still felt out of it. 

Shaking off the feeling, she grabbed her keys and made her way downstairs. The house was quiet, almost eerily so, but she didn’t linger. She locked up behind her, stuffing the keys into her bag before heading toward the car parked at the curb. 

Yangyang was leaning against the hood as he scrolled through his phone. When he saw her, he let out a low whistle. 

“Look at you,” he grinned. “Flashy clothes and all.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes, slipping into the passenger seat. “It’s a formal event, you egg.” 

Laughing, Yangyang slid into the driver’s seat, turning the key before pulling away from the curb. “Alright, alright. But seriously, you look good.” 

Y/n stared out the window, resting her chin against her hand. “Thanks,” she muttered. “Wish I felt like it.”

Yangyang sighed, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as they hit a red light. He glanced over at Y/n, who was still staring out the window, lost in her own head.

“Look, I know you’re still thinking about him,” he said, his tone softer than usual. “And I get it. But you’re not gonna let some dumbass ruin your night, right?”

Y/n stayed quiet, her fingers tightening around the fabric of her dress.

Yangyang sighed again, shaking his head. “Come on, Y/n. You worked your ass off for this. You deserve to be proud of yourself. You deserve to have a good time tonight. And most of all, you deserve better than some guy who made you feel like shit for wanting him.”

Y/n blinked, finally looking over at him. “I know…” she murmured. “I just…I don’t know how to stop feeling like this.”

Yangyang gave her a small smile. “Then fake it. Cause I ain’t about to take pictures of you on stage mopping about. You better look about at this later thinking you’re the shit.”

A tiny smile tugged at Y/n’s lips. “You make it sound so easy.”

“It’s not,” Yangyang admitted with a shrug. “But you’re Y/n. You’ll be just fine.”

The light turned green, and he pressed on the gas. “Now, let’s go get you that damn award.”

-

When they arrived at the venue, the place was already filled with people. The hall was dimly lit, chandeliers casting a soft glow over the round tables draped in black cloths. Students, parents, and faculty were scattered around, chatting, laughing, and enjoying their meals. A stage stood at the front of the room, the podium set up with a microphone, waiting for the ceremony to begin.

Y/n and Yangyang made their way through the crowd, finally spotting an empty table off to the side, away from the main crowd. It was quiet, which was perfect, she wasn’t really in the mood to make small talk with anyone else.

As soon as they sat down, Yangyang’s eyes immediately landed on the buffet table across the room. “Yo, they got some good shit over there,” he said, already standing back up. “I’m getting some food.”

Y/n huffed a small laugh. “Figures.”

“You want me to grab you anything?”

She shook her head. “Nah, I’ll just wait here.”

Yangyang nodded before making his way toward the buffet, leaving her alone at the table.

Y/n exhaled and leaned back in her chair, letting her gaze wander around the room. It was a nice event, and she wished she could fully enjoy it.

At least Yangyang was here. And her dad would be showing up soon. That was something to be happy about, right?

She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to push away the lingering thoughts of the past week. This was supposed to be her night, she had worked hard for this moment.

Maybe, just maybe, she could let herself enjoy it.

Yangyang returned to the table with a full plate stacked high with food and a drink in hand. 

He plopped down into his seat and, without a word, set a plate down between the two of them. “Got some for both of us.”

“You’re a blessing,” Y/n said, already picking up a fork.

“I know,” Yangyang smirked before taking a sip of his drink.

Y/n glanced at the cup in his hand. “What are you drinking?”

“Beer.”

Her head snapped toward him. “What the fuck? Where did you get beer here?”

Yangyang shrugged casually, stuffing a bite of food into his mouth. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “That is your only drink tonight. You still have to drive me back, dumbass.”

Yangyang groaned but didn’t argue. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He took another sip before setting the cup down. “Just let me enjoy this one, alright?”

Y/n rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips. “Fine. But I swear, if I catch you sneaking another, I’m taking your keys.”

Yangyang snorted. “Noted.” Then he dug into his food like he hadn’t eaten in days, and Y/n shook her head, finally feeling a little lighter than she had all night.

Y/n picked at the food on the plate, taking small bites as the ceremony began. The event started with introductions, a slideshow about the course, and acknowledgments of the faculty. The speaker’s voice droned on in the background, but Y/n’s mind was elsewhere.

She glanced around the room, scanning the faces, searching for her dad. Still no sign of him.

With a quiet sigh, she pulled out her phone under the table and flicked him a quick text.

Hurry up, it’s started.

She tapped her fingers anxiously against her lap, waiting for a response, but nothing came. Putting her phone back down on the table, she tried to focus on the ceremony, but the empty seat meant for her dad weighed on her more than she wanted to admit.

About fifteen minutes later, Y/n’s phone vibrated. The screen lit up with her dad’s name, and a pang of hope shot through her, maybe he was outside, letting her know he had arrived.

She leaned over to Yangyang. “I’m just gonna take this.”

He nodded, mouth full, and she slipped her phone into her palm as she made her way out of the hall. The murmurs of the ceremony faded as she pushed through the doors, stepping into the quieter hallway before answering.

“Hey, Dad–”

“I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it, bubs.”

The words hit her like a punch to the throat.

She blinked, staring at the ground, her chest tightening as disappointment crushed her. She had told herself she wouldn’t expect much, but a part of her still held on, still thought, just this once, he’d show up.

He was still talking, saying something about work, how he’d make it up to her, how proud he was. But Y/n barely heard any of it. His voice was a distant hum, drowned out by the ringing in her ears.

Her fingers curled around the phone. She wanted to say something, call him out, tell him how much this meant to her, how he always did this, but what was the point?

Instead, she swallowed the lump in her throat and forced out, “Yeah…okay, that’s fine.”

It wasn’t. It wasn’t fine at all.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Sorry, bubba,” her dad sighed. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” she muttered before hanging up.

She stood there for a second, staring at her screen, the weight of it settling in. Then, with a deep breath, she shoved her phone into her pocket and forced herself back inside.

Y/n felt hollow as she walked back into the hall, her legs heavy like they were being weighed down with bricks. The voice from the speakers droned around her, blending into a dull hum as she made her way back to the table.

She sat down next to Yangyang, eyes fixed on the table, barely able to breathe past the lump in her throat.

Yangyang looked over, instantly noticing something was off. “What’s up?”

She blinked rapidly, trying to push down the tears welling up, but they betrayed her, slipping free and pooling in her lashes.

Yangyang frowned, leaning in closer. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Y/n exhaled shakily, voice barely above a whisper. “Dad’s not coming…”

Yangyang’s face darkened. He sat back with a scoff, shaking his head. “Fucking typical.”

Before she could say anything, he pulled her into him, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. That was all it took for her to break. She buried her face into his shoulder, the tears finally falling as she cried quietly, gripping onto his sleeve like it was the only thing holding her together.

Yangyang didn’t say anything else, he didn’t need to. He just held her, rubbing her back as the ceremony carried on around them like nothing had happened.

Yangyang glanced up at the presenter, then down at Y/n, his grip on her shoulder giving a small squeeze. “Hey,” he murmured, “award giving’s about to start. You should go clean up quickly.”

Y/n sniffled and nodded, slowly pulling away from him. She stood up, smoothing out her dress before making her way to the bathroom.

Inside, she leaned against the sink, staring at her reflection. Her eyes were red-rimmed and cheeks blotchy from crying. With a deep breath, she grabbed some paper towels and dabbed at her face, doing her best to erase the image of disappointment.

She fanned her face with her hands, willing the puffiness to go down, but there was only so much she could do. The mirror didn’t lie, she looked tired, drained, but at least she wasn’t outright sobbing anymore.

“This is as good as it’s gonna get,” she muttered to herself, straightening up.

Taking one last steadying breath, she turned on her heel and stepped out of the bathroom, heading back into the hall.

Just as Y/n stepped out of the bathroom, she heard her name being called, echoing through the hall, and a curse slipped past her lips. She straightened herself up quickly, wiping the last of the moisture from her eyes and forcing a smile, even though her heart still felt heavy.

Making her way toward the stage, she kept her posture perfect, doing her best to appear as composed as possible. Every step felt heavier, but she was determined to keep it together. 

She shook hands with the people on stage, each interaction feeling more like a blur than a moment, and received her award, a small trophy and framed certificate.

She saw Yangyang, his face was practically glowing with pride, his phone held high as he recorded the moment. She couldn’t help but smile at him, the smallest bit of warmth returning to her chest, just enough to push away the knot of tension.

Then came the moment of standing there, in front of the audience, while they listed off her achievements and took pictures. She stood tall, trying not to fidget even though her stomach twisted. Her eyes scanned the room as the flashes of cameras went off. And then, she saw him.

Johnny.

For a second, it felt like the air in the room went still, the chatter around her fading into the background. He had clearly just walked in standing at the back of the tables, his gaze locked on her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she instinctively glanced away, her fingers tightening around the edges of the award in her hands.

Even after she looked away, Y/n couldn’t shake the disbelief settling in her chest. What the fuck was he doing here? She had told herself she wouldn’t let him get to her, but just the sight of him, standing there in the crowd, sent a surge of emotions she wasn’t prepared for.

She hesitated, but her eyes found him again. Johnny was still there, standing tall, a smile on his face, not smug, but genuine, proud even. He wore a suit that helped him to blend into the crowd, but Y/n couldn’t look away, and the moment he caught her gaze, her heart stuttered.

The presenter stopped talking, and that’s when the applause started. Y/n watched as Johnny slowly took his hands out of his pockets, joining the applause for her. She forced herself to look away, not wanting to linger on him any longer than necessary.

She made her way back to the audience, her heart hammering in her chest. As soon as she reached Yangyang, she was greeted by his warm eyes.

Yangyang pulled Y/n into a tight hug as soon as she sat down, squeezing her in celebration. "Well done, you did it!" he said, his voice full of pride.

But Y/n didn’t respond. She was still frozen, her eyes locked on the back of the room, her mind racing.

Yangyang pulled back slightly, brows furrowing as he looked at her. "Hey, what’s up?" he asked, his voice softer now, noticing her tension.

Y/n didn’t answer him. Her gaze was fixed somewhere behind him, and Yangyang’s confusion deepened. He turned around, following her line of sight, and that’s when he saw Johnny walking toward them, making his way through the crowd.

Yangyang’s expression shifted instantly, a sharp defensive edge taking over. Without thinking, he stood in front of Y/n, blocking her from Johnny’s view. He pushed his shoulders back, trying to appear bigger, though it did little, as he glared at Johnny.

Johnny stopped in his tracks, eyes flicking between Yangyang and Y/n. It was clear he was expecting this kind of attitude, but he was ready. The tension between them hung thick in the air.

"You got some nerve showing up here," Yangyang said, his voice low, barely containing his anger as he kept his stance between Johnny and Y/n.

Johnny met his gaze, unflinching, and gave a slow, resigned nod. "I know," he said quietly, his voice carrying the weight of something more than just an apology. "I just...I need to talk to her."

Yangyang's expression remained hard, crossing his arms. "What for?" he demanded, clearly not trusting Johnny's intentions.

Johnny’s eyes flickered to Y/n for a brief moment, his plea more genuine than either of them could have expected. "Please," he said, voice barely above a whisper, though it was laced with sincerity.

Yangyang hesitated, then slowly turned his head to look at Y/n. His eyes searched hers for confirmation, his protectiveness still strong but giving her the space to decide.

Y/n met Johnny’s gaze for a moment before looking back at Yangyang, still shaken but steadying herself. She gave a soft nod, standing up from the table and smoothing her dress. "We can talk outside," she said, her voice more composed than she felt.

Yangyang stepped aside, giving her the space she needed. "I'll be right here," he said before watching as Y/n walked toward Johnny.

Y/n made her way to the end of the hall, her eyes fixed on the floor as her mind raced, trying to process everything. She could feel Johnny’s footsteps behind her, each step a reminder of the presence she hadn’t expected to face tonight. She could feel him drawing closer, his energy almost suffocating in its intensity.

They reached the door, and before Y/n could open it, Johnny held it open for her. She walked through it without a word, the cold air of the hallway brushing against her skin. Her heart was racing, but she didn’t stop until she reached the middle of the corridor. The noise of the event seemed to fade away as she turned to face him.

She stood still for a moment, her breath shaky as she looked back at him. He was standing there, just a few feet away, his expression unreadable. Y/n didn’t know what to say. How could she?

"Why are you here, Johnny?" The words felt heavy, yet so light at the same time, escaping her lips before she could stop them.

“I told you I would come,” Johnny said, his voice steady but tinged with regret.

Y/n scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. “And you think that was a good idea, after everything that happened the other day?”

Johnny exhaled sharply, frustration and guilt flickering across his features. He ran a hand through his hair, looking down for a moment, clearly upset with himself. “I...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that.”

Y/n’s eyes narrowed slightly, her expression a mix of hurt and exhaustion. She crossed her arms, her stance defensive. “But you did,” she said quietly, her voice almost too calm for the storm brewing beneath it. “You said it, and now here we are. You can’t just take it back, Johnny.”

Johnny’s eyes softened, a mix of regret and sincerity overtaking his usual confident demeanor. “I never should’ve said any of that, Y/n,” he began, his voice quiet but earnest. “I regret every word of it. I don’t want you to think I said it because I didn’t care or because I didn’t feel anything. The truth is, I felt more for you than I ever wanted to admit. And I–”

Y/n cut him off. “And what does this apology actually change, huh? You still regretted it.” She paused, her voice barely above a whisper as she looked at him. “You still regret everything.”

Johnny winced at the words, but never backed down. “I never regretted it, Y/n.” He stepped a little closer, his gaze unwavering.  “What I regretted…what I was afraid of, was what it would mean for me, for you. I didn’t want you or anyone to think I was some weirdo because of how much younger you were. I know how people would look at me, and I couldn’t deal with that. I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you, or that you didn’t deserve better.”

He looked away for a second, as if the weight of his own words had become too much to bear. "But that's the thing, Y/n. I shouldn’t have let that get in the way. You were never a mistake to me."

Y/n’s eyes narrowed as she processed his words, her emotions still raw, but somewhere beneath all of that hurt, a spark of curiosity flickered. She crossed her arms, looking at him like she was still trying to figure out if this was real or just another excuse. 

“So, what do you want, Johnny?” she asked, her voice steady, though there was a hint of vulnerability she couldn’t quite hide.

Johnny’s gaze softened, the usual guarded expression he wore fading into something more honest. “I want to be with you,” he said without hesitation, his voice low but firm. 

“I’m not saying it’s perfect or easy, but I don’t want to let this go, not when it means something to me. And I don’t care about the age, or what anyone thinks anymore.” He took a step closer, his words filled with a raw honesty that Y/n couldn’t ignore. “What I care about is you. I want to make this right.”

Y/n stood there for a moment, her mind racing, her heart still bruised but not as hard as before. She let out a soft laugh, the kind that was almost disbelieving but somehow light-hearted. “All’s forgiven, huh?” she said, her tone teasing.

Johnny smiled, the weight of the past few days finally lifting off his shoulders. “If you’ll let me,” he said, his eyes locked on hers, full of sincerity. “I’ll make it right. I swear I will.”

Y/n looked at him for a long moment, trying to read his face for any sign of doubt or hesitation. But there was nothing there, just the same guy she’d met at the bar.

“Well,” she said, her voice quieter now, “I guess I could give you another chance...but you’d better not mess it up again, Johnny.”

Johnny grinned, a genuine smile that seemed to light up his whole face. “I won’t, I’ll make sure of it.”

Y/n took a deep breath, her heart still a little heavy, but the tension between them had eased. She stepped up to Johnny, her arms wrapping around him before he even had the chance to react. Johnny’s arms came around her instinctively, pulling her close as if he didn’t want to let go.

“Atleast you actually showed up,” Y/n said, her voice muffled slightly as her face was pressed into his chest. “Fucking dad didn’t.”

Johnny pulled back just enough to look down at her, his expression a mix of disbelief and amusement. “You fucking kidding me?” he asked, a slight laugh escaping him.

Y/n shook her head, chuckling. “Nope.” 

She felt Johnny’s arms tighten around her again. She would’ve probably felt like shit thinking about her dad and how he had let her down tonight, but in that moment, with Johnny holding her, everything else just faded away. She felt…happy.

“There’s no chance I wouldn’t have come,” Johnny said softly, his voice almost a whisper as reached under her chin to tilt her head up. “I know how much it mattered to you”

Y/n looked up at Johnny, her heart racing as his fingers gently brushed her chin, lifting her face to meet his. His words hung in the air between them, soft and sincere.

“You always do,” she whispered back, her breath catching in her throat.

The space between them closed, and in an instant, Johnny’s lips were on hers. It wasn’t rushed or forced, but soft, like he was savoring the moment. Y/n’s mind finally quiets, letting the warmth of the kiss wash over her.

It was like everything outside of that moment faded away, leaving just the two of them, connected in a way that felt real, felt right. When they finally pulled away, Y/n’s eyes stayed closed for a moment, her lips still tingling from the kiss.

Y/n pulled back slightly, a playful smile tugging at her lips as she looked up at Johnny. “I’ve already got my award,” she said, her voice light. “We can totally just leave now, right?”

Johnny grinned, his eyes lighting up with relief. “Sounds good to me,” he agreed quickly.

Y/n started to turn back toward the hall, ready to grab Yangyang and get out of there, but Johnny gently caught her arm, halting her. He stepped closer, his expression softening.

“Before you go,” he said quietly, his hand reaching for her face once more, “can I’ve a kiss?”

Y/n met his gaze, her heart fluttering, and she nodded with a soft laugh. Without another word, Johnny leaned down, capturing her lips with his once more. Neither of them could hold back from smiling in the kiss, the happiness and relief that had been building between them for so long finally spilling over.

When they finally pulled away, Y/n was smiling, her hand lingering on his chest. “Happy now?”

“Very.” he said softly, her tone teasing like usual.  

She chuckled, shaking her head as she gave him one last look before turning to head back toward the hall to grab Yangyang.

Y/n couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this good. With Johnny, she found more than just someone who showed up when she needed him. He was kind, supportive, and cared in a way that felt rare to her.

As she made their way back into the hall, she realized that despite everything, despite her father’s absence, the hurt from before, she had Johnny who made her feel seen, heard, and truly valued. With Johnny by her side, the weight of the world felt just a little bit easier to carry, and for the first time in a long while, Y/n let herself believe that things might just be okay.

-

A/N: Just thought I should say that I do NOT condone drinking and driving! Anyways! Thank you so much for reading this fic, the next one of the series I'll be writing is Yuta~ so slay! hope you look forward to that Thank you again for reading 💚

[tyttamarzh]

Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter.

This will probably be very long, so if you want to read it, go grab some popcorn and get comfortable.

I have to talk about this because it's eating me up inside. I think I shouldn't give so much importance to comments coming from sewers like Twitter and much less Tiktok, but it makes me so sick (and I'm such a masochist that I even spend time looking for the shit they say to make me angrier and debate them xD).

I am very happy that it was finally made official, with papers certified by the federation, that Tallulah is the daughter of Philza and Missa, I think that was not entirely necessary for them, because they had assumed it for a long time (let's assume that Tallulah needed the pappers to end her W arc), although I suppose that more than anything it was done for those people who still cannot accept it or who deny the paternity of Phil and Missa (With Missa, although it bothers me, I can even understand it, he He hasn't been as present and many people don't know him, but god, it would be a crime to deny Tallulah's paternity to Phil, the man who has kept her alive and given everything for her throughout her life).

I'm glad that, although I have seen negative comments, the majority have been positive (even if it hurts them, it doesn't matter, it's official, screw them). Mainly, the negative comments have been from defenders of W and their arguments are so poor and weak that they are easily refuted. It is obvious that these people do not know Tallulah and have never met her, many do not even know how things turned out and say nonsense like that the current Llulah is an imposter, that it is not fair that they "rewrote" history and erased W (which It is false, Llulah's words make it clear that history was never changed, she simply moved on and that person remained in the past).

I refuted all those arguments on Twitter but screw Twitter, I hate the fucking character limit. So I'm going to expand (I have a lot of poison to get out of my skin). I have some points:

1- "That's not Tallulah" Of course it is her, those who witnessed her life and her growth during the year that passed, can realize that this was her natural evolution. She is the same girl who grew up overcoming her limitations, who suffered, who felt alone, who had abandonment problems, who everyone saw as a poor abandoned girl and who found comfort next to someone who has always loved her like a father and a brother who gave everything for her.

2- "They erased all her lore" No. Tallulah's lore is the one she built with Philza and Chayanne over the course of the year they lived together. Her relationship with W and her longing for him was only part of her story (although people made a lot of emphasis on that), but it was not the only thing that defined her, it never was and only people who never got to met her think that. They see her like an extension of that other person, as the only thing that kept him on the server, but did not see her as an individual character and definitely did not watch Phil's Vods and they never really knew her lore.

3-"How do they explain this in the lore?" Simple, there was someone in her life, someone who was her first father, but who spent very little time with her, who left a long time ago and who is currently no longer part of her life. She learned to let go of the past and focused in the family she has in the present, the family that loves her, that watched her grow up, that makes her happy and gives her security to believe in herself and that is the Death Family, Chayanne, Philza and Missa. Time passes, not all people stay, treasure those who are by your side and let go of what never brought you anything but pain.

4- "They should have created another egg and replaced her" Why replaceher? It has no sense or reason. She is a character who built her own story with her family, a story that never really involved that other person other than with one or another sporadic mention, why eliminate a character that evolved by itself? Little by little she separated herself from what she was at the beginning and that bond that she had with that first father was practically non-existent. What would be the point of eliminating it or replace her with another new character?

5- "No matter what other parents and appearance give her, she will always belong to W because she still carries the name he gave her" No. She never belonged to him. She lived with that man for 2 days and apart from leaving him the promise of a reunion, she did not contribute anything else to her life. She formed her own path, her passion for music was not because of him, it was something she already had before, her love for nature, for animals, everything was built in the days she lived with Philza (even with uncle Bad). She suffered for her first father but she moved on, she matured, she discovered her link with death and her powers as a medium, she acquired her own personality and little by little she built the Tallulah she is now.

She never belonged to anyone but herself and she always fought to prove that, but people insisted on dumping trauma on her and reminding her that she was an abandoned child waiting for someone who at a certain point was nothing more than an idealized dream, because There was never a real relationship between them, they never lived together long enough. She little by little made her decisions and chose the people she wanted to be her parents (and it's not that she had few options, Quackity, Bad and even F wanted to adopt her at the time and asked them to, but she was not a girl who was looking for parents). She could choose and she chose Philza, the person who had always been there for her and later she chose Missa, someone who despite not knowing her very well gave her his love unconditionally and gave her security when she needed it. Then she was able to feel the warmth of being part of a complete family.

6- "They should change her name because W gave her that name! That impostor is not Tallulah!" Why? Her name is not anyone's intellectual property, at the time it was given to her, it belonged to her for better or worse and yes, in some way it will always be a tie to her past, but a past she has already left behind and managed to overcome by creating new memories and dreams.

To a certain extent I understand those who became attached to her because she reminded them of that other person, but if they couldn't see her as her own character, it means that they never cared enough to make the effort to get to know her.

It would shock us all if a character we liked suddenly changed drastically and left behind what like us in the first place. But if they had really watched her, they would have realized that the change was not sudden, it was gradual.

She found in Phil a protective and understanding father who always put her and her brother before anything else, who suffered with her her pain and outbursts of frustration due to the depression caused by the absence of her first father. She found in Missa a cute and loving father who always showers her with love and helps her to have confidence in herself. She doesn't lack anything with them. She has closed a cycle of pain in her life and now she can heal.

She chose the look that makes her feel finally free to be herself, whatever the external reasons that led to that, she finally has a future ahead of her unbound by the past and prefers to be more like the people she considers her family now. If you can't see what all of this really meant to Tallulah and her evolution, it's because you never cared to see even 20% of her story. Well, since the middle of last year she began her journey to break away from a name and be herself, fighting to be seen for who she was.

If those people decide to continue supporting someone despite his shit, that is their right, but the server and the admin were also within their right to decide to kick him out and want to distance themselves from a person they consider unpleasant.

7-There were comments of another type, mainly from people who are really very lost with the lore, people who consider her the daughter of Quackity, even confusing her with Tilín (saying that Q didn't know if she was the daughter of W or Luzu and that she should get a DNA test), when we all know that from the beginning she was W's daughter as a single father and that the only reason Quackity could have become Tallulah's father was if to marry W, but that never happened, W didn't come back and Quackity was never able to develop that relationship with Llulah, she considered him a possible father because she knew W loved him, but Q always being kidnapped or something, they never really related much. There are people who, even with a certificate, continue to insist that Tallulah should have been given to Quackity to raise with Luzu (she had a tender interaction with Luzu and people were already asking him to adopt her, saying that she was alone and had no parents, I seriously hate them!) I shouldn't take seriously people who obviously haven't seen Philza even once and I know that many of those people are hispanic and are limited by the language barrier but if they don't have the slightest idea They shouldn't give their opinion… Tallulah is not an object to be passed from hand to hand, she chose and in order to do so she had to go through a very long and painful arc.

8- I firmly believe that it is a great win to now have a certificate that endorses who the people she considers her parents are, but I insist, it was not necessary, because that has been known for a long time and I am sure that if it was created it was to close the mouth mouth to all those people who are not capable of accepting that.

Tallulah is the daughter of Philza and Missa (and no one else), she is part of the Death Family, that is her story, it is not a whim, a whim is continuing to link her to something she is no longer a part of or wanting to make her a part of a lore that never happened or wanting to give her other parents different from the ones she grew up with (Quackity already had Tilín, Richas and now Pepito, I don't think she needs more children and Tallulah doesn't need any more shitty drama in her life).

Tallulah is a beautiful being, both with her old look and with the new and as Missa says "She deserves only the beautiful things in the world"

Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! Tallulah is Phil and Missa's daughter!!! And I can shout it a thousand times because it's true and she always was, but now it's certified by the government and no amount of complaining or tantrums can change that fact.

Sorry for my bad english. See you!! jajaja ando re agresiva, pero es que nadie se mete con mi familia xD

[skythighs]

Calista's Dream: Mother

Overdue, but it's here. I got caught up writing my next story because my brain wouldn't let me wait until this was done. I appreciate all of your likes, comments, and shares. Thank you for being here it means a lot to me. The pictures are from Pinterest and linked in previous chapters.

Warnings: 18+ choking and sexual content.

Word count: 1.7k

Chapter 9

The arena was filled with raucous chants as Feyd bested the last standing opponent. The one that wasn’t drugged. He had even removed his shield before the battle. In doing so the crowd loved him even more than they did when he first walked out of those imposing double doors. He was immortal to them. A living God whom they would serve without question or complaint. The Baron beside me looked pleased like his long awaited plans had finally been completed. 

I was instructed to meet him in the same room as before. Where he killed the nameless slaves savagely testing his blade. My stomach churned a bit at the thought, but when I arrived there was no evidence of the gruesome scene. Their bodies had been cleaned up and the floor was shiny and new again. It seemed wrong, for their deaths to be swept away like they never existed. 

The room is eerily silent, before I detect the prowling footsteps of a graceful feline stalking me as I slowly peruse the room. As the footsteps get closer I turn to face the illusive hunter only to be met with emptiness. As confusion clouds my mind three pairs of hands caress me from behind. I jolt at the feel of their cold hands, but I don’t panic. Not even as they pull the veil from my head, or slowly begin unlacing my gown. Once my gown is discarded and my supple flesh meets the cool air they guide me to their perch in the corner of the room. 

It’s soft with cushions and many blankets beneath me as I’m pushed flat onto the surface. At the sound of Feyd Rautha’s footsteps they pull away and await the command from their master before they devour me. He doesn’t utter a single word as his eyes leave a burning trail on my skin. He looks me up and over and down again, almost like he’s stalling. 

“They want to taste you. Straight from the source, they’re tired of only tasting you on my cock.” 

He looks bored as he speaks, but he can’t fool me. I see the truth behind his eyes as I always do. He’s feral at the very idea of them touching me, but they are his pets and so am I.

The implications of his words don’t go unnoticed. I was no fool, I knew he still sought them out, frequently. He was insatiable and for my sake I’m glad they exist. I was content to share him with them, and them alone. It was a mutually beneficial ecosystem. They would not overstep and I would not begrudge them. We would exist harmoniously. 

“Eat.” He snarls, curling his lip.

Eat. One simple word, that is somehow the command they’ve been waiting for. A small bubble of fear pops inside of me, these are cannibalistic women. What if they- A moan is ripped from me, shutting down my train of thought. 

No time wasted as one of the lovely darlings finds her face between my thighs feasting upon my cunt mercilessly. Her tongue was so precise as she circles my bud before slithering down to my slit and back again. She was perfect, but the others refused to be outdone even if they were too slow for the sweetest treat. They each latch onto a brown nipple working them with tongue and cheek sucking and caressing with only their mouths. They worked as a team, perfectly synchronized as they ate me alive. 

I struggle to open my eyes, I want to find him. I want to see his reaction. No sooner do I open my eyes do I feel him grip my throat harshly. He is behind me on the platform, my head resting between his legs. I was so overcome I didn’t even notice him there. When I look up at him he’s looking down at me in awe, but he tightens his grip on my neck and the air I need to breathe is being withheld from me. 

I begin seeing black spots in my vision so I grab his wrist and claw at him frantically. He loosens his death grip a smidge and allows me to suck in small amounts of air. It’s enough to calm me but the spots in my vision are still there. I feel myself going limp before he lets go all together. I can see his rage simmering beneath his flesh. Why would he allow this if it enraged him so?

I gasp, choking on the air I needed so desperately. I close my eyes trying to calm my heart. 

“Don’t look away from me. That was your punishment, wife.” His gravel voice whispers to me as he starts stroking my loose hair. Hands deceivingly gentle knowing he had just been choking me seconds ago.

As he leans back, I find myself craning my neck to follow him and he smiles pleased with my clear understanding. 

“Obedience is necessary in any good pet. Don’t you agree?”

I nod my head slowly, feeling the pleasure return to me as the darlings continue their worship of my divine temple. My puckered hole was now being devoured and a moist finger was probing, trying to work its way inside.

“I said eat. I did not say "touch.” He hisses baring teeth at the guilty party.

The finger withdraws as if burned, but the tongue remains, the pleasure remains.

I don't remember leaving that room but when I awake I’m alone in bed. I’m still naked, so I walk to the bathing chamber intent on washing away the stickiness when I feel a quiver in my womb. A twitch of muscles that could go unnoticed, but I also hear a still small voice. A voice that gains strength the longer I listen.

‘She is here. You must stop her.’

I ignore the need to clean myself and I quickly don a robe and tie it tightly. I feel my feet carry me, without me choosing a path. I’m led away to the guest quarters. Gray colorless fireworks light the sky through the vast windows, and the voice calls to me again. 

‘Stop her. You must stop her.’ 

I find myself at an unknown insignificant door, and I open it slowly. Feyd Rautha is on his knees before a Bene Gesserit sister.  A beautiful blonde seductress, opposite me in every physical way. I can tell she is tall and graceful even as she sits. Her blonde hair is pulled back and tame while my dark waves are loose and unruly.

‘Call to him, break the trance.’

I do.

“Feyd Rautha.”

He doesn't flinch but the woman's eyes flash at me curiously.

‘Margot.’

“Release him.” I hiss out using the voice, sounding near demonic in my pitch.

Her body compels her to follow my command. As Feyd takes in his surroundings he looks confused. Like sleepwalking he couldn’t quite remember where he was or how he got here. He moves away from Margot before he realizes I’m here in the room. Once he sees me his brow crinkles even more.

“Feyd Rautha, come here.” I’m speaking to him but looking at Margot. 

Feyd follows my order, not because I took away his will, but because he chooses to. Margot observes us closely, smiling as I step ahead of him. Shielding him from her with my own body.

“Calista Atreides. It’s lovely to finally see you up close.”

“Likewise, Margot. However I am surprised to find my husband on his knees before you. It’s so unlike him.” 

I lift my brow at her and she nods in understanding. The voice inside me is still once again, but I can still sense the source within me. Quiet but not gone. The Bene Gesserit knows she’s been caught in the act of manipulating my husband into her bed. Her attempt has been thwarted by me and she must now report back to the Reverend mother if Feyd lets her leave with her life intact that is.

“I’m just following orders, Calista, it's not personal.” She shrugs.

“It’s personal, Margot. He’s my husband, we are celebrating his child inside me. That’s as personal as it gets.”

 I reach behind me feeling Feyd there. He’s still dreamwalking even now. Whatever they used on him is potent, but he seems content beside me. He’s vulnerable, how could she do this to him in such a state. It’s wrong.

“If he was in the right state of mind he would kill you, I however will allow you to leave with your life.” 

She lifts her head, chin up now, trying to appear calm and in control. The bead of sweat falling from her hairline is a clear indicator she was not as confident as she looks. 

“I will tell The Reverend mother, you have him in your control. She will be pleased sister.”

“I’m no sister to you, or anyone. I’m my parents only child.” I turn away from her and exit with a tight grip on Feyd Rautha.

I guide Feyd to our chambers and tuck him into bed. He likely wouldn’t remember a thing about this night and I would never tell him. I would keep his vulnerability to myself. I would wrap it deep inside me and keep it safe for him. 

I feel that quiver again, a small twitch of my abdomen, before the voice calls out to me.

‘You did well, not to harm her.’

‘You did well, mother.’

Mother. The revelation is not shocking or confusing. I knew him before he was conceived. He showed me a vision even then. Him speaking to me now that his life had taken shape in the womb could not surprise me. My hand covers him where he’s safe and sound inside me, and I feel happiness. He saved his father tonight from the plans within plans just as he saved me all those years ago. I would always keep him safe.

“You did well. Thank you for your help.” I speak aloud knowing he will hear me.

‘Mother.’

 “Mother is God in the eyes of a child.”

― William Makepeace Tackery

Taglist: @mamawiggers1980 @drunkennunicornn @aoi-targaryen @lovereadingfanfic @avidreader73

@nemodeus @landlockedmermaid77 @wo-ming-bai

[beelzeballing]

actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

[astarioffsimpmain]

Misty Morning Respite

Pairing: Astarion x Aelene

Word Count: 1k

Author's Note:

Surpriiiiiiiise @charlenestrawart !!! 🥰😁 This is my gift to you for the Astarion Brainrot Discord autumn exchange! I used the "foggy mornings" and "soft blankets" prompts, and I really hope you enjoy it. ❤️ It's been WILD trying to keep this a secret from you, but I'm so glad I got to write for you and your beautiful tav, Aelene. I love you, friend!! 🥹

♡ ♡ ♡

The slow coming of morning filtered through the thin curtains of the Last Light Inn, but for the first time in 210 years, Astarion was not concerned. The gauzy cotton did little to hide his pallor skin from the slowly rising sun, but instead of scurrying to the far side of the bed or ducking beneath the covers, he lazily lifted his hand to the still-bluish glow, and admired the iron ring on his third finger. The crimson stone that sat at its center cast a ghostly shadow on the wall of the room, not yet glittering due to the clouded, dewy sky. A soft smile tugged at his pink lips, still plush from the previous night’s activities. He cast a glance down beside him to the woman resting in his arms. Her snow white hair fell over her face like a blanket, covering her wintery skin and most of her shimmering silver scales.

He took a moment to simply admire her as she slept, curled around him tightly, seeking the familiar comfort of his cold body. She had risked her life to acquire the ring he now wore. She had tangled with death to help him become a victor over the sun. She had done it with little more benefit to herself than having him beside her. She not only sought his freedom, she now also sought his joy; and gods had she found it. He chuckled quietly, imperceptible to the untrained ear, but his lover stirred slightly nonetheless, ever so used to his sounds that even in her sleep, she perceived them. He quieted, not wanting to wake her yet. The lines of stress and pain from the past still haunted her face sometimes - when he did not manage to kiss them away - , but in sleep she held none of that tension; slack-faced and innocent as she dreamed.

Gently, he brushed strands of hair from her face to reveal her angular scales; so light and metallic that they almost reflected his red eyes gazing down at her. It was fitting, he thought, that the stone in the ring that would allow him to walk in the sun again would match both his own eyes and the eyes of his lover. It seemed meant to be… like fate. He smiled, and another chuckle escaped him that the idea of fate - something he had always hated so desperately - would finally grant him kindness after 200 years. A second sound from him would not go unnoticed by his sleeping lover, and a pitiful whimper came from her throat as she slowly gained awareness.

“Good morning, darling,” Astarion murmured, swooping down to kiss her lips before her eyes opened. She hummed against his lips and smiled, her hands wandering up around his neck.

“Mmm, good morning, Astarion,” Aelene muttered against his mouth, tangling her fingers in his locks as she did.

“Now, my love, you can’t be too greedy before you eat something,” he tutted quietly, all the while, his fingers traced patterns on her bare thigh beneath the velvety blankets she had insisted on buying once they returned to Baldur’s Gate with their prize. “You must replenish your energy if you’re to keep up with me.”

She giggled softly, urging closer to him, as if she could meld with him completely. “Can’t you feed me once I’m well and truly spent?”

“I am not hand feeding you again. You bit me last night!” her lover balked in return, only half joking.

“You bite me all the time!” she rebutted, her laugh growing louder.

“I ask, darling.”

“Then may I please bite your pretty fingers while you feed me?” Aelene batted her sleepy eyes at him, and he chortled.

“Hmm,” he pondered, a finger coming to his lips. “Since you asked so nicely… no.”

“Astarion!” she laughed, her head thrown back against the pillows, and Astarion grinned down at her.

“Come on, darling. I want to enjoy my first sunrise in 210 years, with you.” He booped her nose gently with his index finger and she beamed up at him, her carmine eyes twinkling.

“Well, how could I say no to that?”

~ ~ ~

Moments later, they were dressed and leaving their room behind, blankets folded into packs and food for the road stuffed into pockets. The sky had begun to turn a rosy gold by the time Aelene and Astarion had settled beneath a large oak tree just outside the limits of the city, at a vantage point high enough to be unobstructed by the goings-on of the everyday folk nearby. Aelene had snuck under Astarion’s arm once again and was gently playing with his fingers as the rising sun vaporized the fog that still lingered on the damp grass. She cared little for the sunrise; she’d seen hundreds. Her focus was on her lover’s face. She allowed her head to fall against his shoulder as his glittering red-wine eyes stayed trained on the coming day; his eyebrows raised, his pink lips parted ever so slightly. He looked so young.

As the sun broke through the clouds of the morning, the sky erupted into brilliant shades of orange, red, and yellow, painting the clouds with vibrancy, and Astarion - her Astarion - looked on in captivated wonder. His eyes widened as he took it in, the sunrises he had seen in his time with the tadpole not even daring to compare to this. Aelene’s heart clenched as she watched a tear chase the length of Astarion’s beautiful face, another following close behind; and another, and another. His vision misted completely, and he brought his palm to his face, a sob wracking through him. Aelene’s hands came to rest atop his and he allowed her to move them, smiling through tears as she swept away his overflowing awe with her fingertips, kissing each place they had previously been as she went.

They watched the rest of the sunrise in silence, wrapped tightly in one another, and as the sky turned to its mid-morning blue, Astarion curled his fingers under Aelene’s chin and turned her to face him. “Thank you, my love,” he whispered softly, his eyes more tender than she had ever seen them. She rested her forehead against his, bumping his nose gently.

“I love you, Astarion.”

A beat of silence passed before he smiled.

“I love you, more.”

~

fin

[dollyfl1rt]

warnings: 18+ mdni, anal, smut, a really handsy ex police officer

6:49 am

everyone was either just waking up or eating breakfast. in your case, you had just woke up.

“y/n, theres a bathroom upstairs by my room you can use. andrea’s hogging the downstairs one” maggie suggested sweetly her country accent apparent “thank you, maggie” you smiled as she nodded.

you walked upstairs finding the bathroom she told you about. you entered it in awe about how stunning it is.

“those shorts are small..no?” you heard from behind you as you jumped a little “you scared me” was what word vomited “they’re thin, thought you said you were cold?” rick teased his eyes everywhere except yours right now “i am cold it’s freezing in here”

“let me warm you up” he shrugged his gaze finally meeting yours with that wicked smirk, you peeped over the railing of the stairs to see who was down there and who wasn’t. to your advantage, if rick seen something he wanted he went for it. which that something was you right now. just as you were about to turn around to brush your teeth rick’s chest clashed with yours. he pulled you into an embrace just looking down at you. you reached up for his cheek and kissed him, your lips moving fast. you were so eager it was insane. everything you’d been thinking about for the past few days.

rick placed his arms under your thighs and carried you to the bathroom, closing and locking the door. you softly moaned at how rough he was being. sad to say, shane was never rough with you. always so scared he’d ‘break you’. rick broke the kiss and turned you around, your stomach against the bathroom counter. he quickly unbuckled his belt pulling his pants and boxers down.

you felt his cock perked up against your butt cheek. maybe rick was bigger than shane, maybe. you squirmed against his length lowly whining. rick let out a low husky chuckle. he tapped his tip against your ass. “you sure?” you couldn’t be more sure of anything in your life. so to answer his question you nodded.he aligned his cock with your hole and pushed himself into you. your eyes widened and you bite your bottom lip. he was in your butt, you’d never done that before so it shocked you how different it felt.

his hands found their way to your butt cheeks. those huge, rough, calloused, hands gripping at the fat of your butt. once he found a steady pace he continued with it. soon enough whines escaped your mouth. rick licked his hand, reached down, and rubbed your clit. he fucked you hard against his chest “god you feel fucking amazing” he growled in your ear rubbing at your clit faster. you came. “mm fuck, right there” you moaned quietly holding rick’s hand.

“hush up baby” he demanded groaning. you did as you were told and eventually you were a mess. “please” you breathed out heavily as rick chuckled lowly and slapped your ass earning a whine from you. his thrust became sloppier but nonetheless they were still happening. you orgasmed, your body shaking a little bit. it was enough that he was in your butt, but him massaging you and rubbing everything all over? jesus christ. he pumped his shaft that for the most part, was still in your ass. after a few beats you felt him release in your ass. “fuck” rick dragged as your mouth fell agape.

“that..i never done that in my ass before” you breathed out leaning forward against the counter, rick smacked your ass again “glad to be your first” he winked with a lazy smile.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

My uni term is officially finished! I may still have a lot of exams to revise for but term is done, I did a little bit of revision today, and I took an exam today so I’ve decided that deserve to eat my random assortment of food (trynna clear out the cupboards) whilst FINALLY watching s2e3 of Arcane - my thoughts whilst watching below <3

“The people of the underground deserve to breathe” wait is C weaponising it? oh Caitlyn… I’m becoming more and more certain that we’re watching a Death of Innocence rn

Obsessed with that animation sequence

I can’t tell if they’re pushing really hard Maddie death foreshadowing or if they want us to be more worried about her so it’s more shocking when someone else dies…

WHAT is happening right now? Wait did we know Mel had a brother? WHO IS THIS? WHAT IS HAPPENING? I feel like I’m forgetting something but maybe it’s just the mystery???????

“Everyone in my life has changed promise me you won’t change” Oh Vi… wait-

Is she-

Are they-

OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING

IT’S FUCKING HAPPENING

I ACTUALLY JUST SCREAMED OU T LOUD

God the family dyanqmics in this show are fascinating

Oooo Lest is intriguing me…

Oh okay the brother’s missing I either didn’t know that or forgot that

The lack of response to “I didn’t think the topside would trust anything that important so deep underground” says SO MUCH

Omg omg omg

Oh, Jinx 💔

God Cait that was - wtf omg omg

God that little kid with Jinx (Isha?) looks so scared it’s giving us so much fascinating insight into Jinx’s early life w Silko

God why is no-one ever allowed to be happy (I lowkey live for the angst but I also don’t yk)

Erm Jayce wtf did you do…

NOT THE CRYSTAL BOUNCING AS A S1 CALLBACK ❤️‍🩹

“What have we done?” Very good question mate - NOW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

Oh god the drawing of them as kids shattering to them fighting I can’t

CAITLYN OH GOD CAIT DON’T-

Oh the sheer shock on her face is so interesting…

“I’m glad it’s you it had to be you” ❤️‍🩹

WHAT

Oh god I’m so scared rn

CAITLYN

WHAT THE HELL

Oh god oh god oh god

W H A T

Okay but Mel watching it from the other side of the glass and then all the people in the city seeing it and the young kids watching it across the water was so symbolic

“You stopped me” YEAH, GIRL

Caitlyn my love wtf are you saying right now I’m gonna scream

WHAT THE FUCK

AM I NOT ALLOWED HAPPINESS EVER ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Elora!?

OH FUCK

Mel!??

Ugh Salo stfu no one likes you go home

How is this a good plan? This cannot be Amassa’s endgame

OH it’s not her endgame but damn Cait might not be making good choices atm…

Aw Maddie my poor sweet girl (her name is Maddie right?? I’m doubting myself now oops)

That ending - ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW DO WE NOT HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH

HOW WAS THIS ONLY ONE EPISODE!!!!!!???

Omg this was incredible, I’ve officially lost my mind. The lack of Viktor in this episode makes me suspicious of what is to come…

IVE GONE INSANE WATCHING THIS OMG I CANT QAIT TO WATCH MORE

[dirtybitfic]

So wrong yet so right Final part

Smutt, graduation, relationship , Time skip .

Me and matt woke up enter twined in each others arms.

it was nice to wake up to him I know that there is no going back to a normal " professor student " relationship after last night but right now all I can think about is how happy he makes me feel.

We got up and showered then he made us breakfast and we ate and watched movies cuddling the rest of the day. I didn't realize that its almost the end of the weekend .

It's Saturday night right now and i'm dreading tomorrow But right now im content as matt is between my thighs eating me out like a fucking pro. I now believe the saying"older men do it better" because Jesus Christ ive never had head feel so good.

F-fuck matt oh my god I moan out as hes sucking and licking on my clit and my hands are entertained in his hair.

He hums against be causing me to buck into his and press his face harder into me. His fingers pumping in and out at the perfect speed as my 4th orgasm of the night is coursing though me .

He laps up my juices that are spilling out of me as im gasping and crying from how over stimulated I am .

I have to forcefully push his head away since he showed no signs of stopping .

Sorry baby you okay I just cant get enough of you he says while stroking my hair.

mhm im okay just overstimulated I sigh out as I slump onto the bed and wipe my tears away.

we fall asleep talking about childhood memories and crazy things we've done in our past.

.............................................................................................................................

Sunday morning rolls around and I groan as I turn over to face matt seeing hes already looking at me smiling.

good morning gorgeous

good morning I cheap back as I nuzzle into his warm bare chest .

after laying there for a bit I groan as I get up and stretch then head to the bathroom .

I come out and sigh as I sit next to him as hes reading something on his phone.

All the sudden the doorbell rings and his head snaps to the door .

fuck he says as he gets up and throws on a shirt rushing down the stairs I slowly follow as I hear another loud voice booming from the entry way. I look down the stairs to see another man looking a lot like matt just with longer hair.

I slowly make my way down the stairs and he looks at me smiling.

wow matt who is this he says pointing to me with a smirk

matt turns smiling as I walk up next to him.

this is y/n and y/n this is my brother chris

its nice to meet you chris ive heard a lot about you I answer honestly . Matt talked so sweetly about his brothers last night and I learned a lot about them.

its nice to meet you too he says smiling at me warmly .

well I just wanted to stop by since I just git back from the big meeting in New York and to drop these papers off to you Chris says handing matt a folder .

Thanks man im glad your back and that the meeting went well you and nick should come over for dinner this week. he says before hugging his brother.

yeah for sure ill next nick and see what day works best but ill leave you two alone . Love you man see you later he says before walking back out the front door and to his car.

so what should we do today matt says turning to me with a smile I return it with a small sigh.

I don't know but I do kinda have homework I say sigh dramatically looking off to the side. The homework im speaking of is for his class

what for what class he asks like he shocked I have work to do.

oh you know this writing class the professor loves to give us work over the weekend . What a dick am I right I joke as I smile up at him

well I hear that professor is very forgiving with his favorite student he says stepping closer with a smirk on his face

oh is he now I say smiling as my hand creeps up his shirt over his chest

mhm he hums as he picks me up and takes me to the couch .

He sits down as I straddle him as he brings me into a deep needy kiss.

I grind onto him and a whimper escapes my lips from the friction.

He unties his sweat pants as he pulls them down along with his boxers as his dick springs out .

gonna ride me like good girl yeah he says as he looks deeply into my eyes.

I nod as I move my thong to the side and slide down onto him causing us both to groan .

I start bouncing as moans escape my lips and deep groans leave his.

his hands grab my ass slapping it a couple times as I continue bouncing as his length fills me to the brim and his tip hits my spot every time.

my breathing is accelerating as my orgasm vastly approaches .

fuck gonna cum with me baby he groans as his grip on my ass tightens and I moan .

y-yes sir I moan out as I speed up my bouncing close to reaching my orgasm .

After a couple more bounces he twitches inside me and I shake and clench around him as I cum and he grabs my hips fucking up into me for a little until he fills me up.

Fuck he groans as we both sit there catching our breathe .

I lay my head on his chest as I slowly lift myself off of him but stay seated on his lap .

I look into his eyes as he looks into mine both sharing a look we cant write place.

I really like you y/n

I really like you too matt I say as a cheeky smile forms on my face .

after a couple hours of cuddling and watching movies we decide its probably time to take me back to my car I left on campus Friday night

I don't want to go home but I know I need to .

We drive back as we talk and listen to music .

I give his a final kiss good bye before getting into my car and heading back to my apartment.

Im sad I won't see him until Friday since he had to cancel class Tuesday for a business meeting with his brothers but I understand .

once I get home I take a shower and et some dinner before finishing up some work die tomorrow for my classes then head to bed giddy as I have flash backs of the perfect weekend I spent with matt.

.............................................................................................................................

Friday rolls around and i'm rushing to class way to excited to see him than I should be.

I enter the class room and sit down closer to the front as his eyes meet mine and we smile. I have to hold myself back from blushing .

Class went by fast as matt ends the class off with our writing assignment that will make up our final grade for the class . The end of my senior semester is closing in and im excited but also scared for what will happen when I graduate.

As im packing my stuff matt come over and places a paper on my desk smiling at me .

I look at it seeing its the name of a restaurant outside of town and a picture of a gorgeous convertible rental.

what is this I ask confused

all you need to know is to be ready by 6:30 ill be waiting outside in that convertible he says before walking back to his desk gathering his things and heading out the door.

Me and matt are at dinner right now talking and having a good time before he goes serious.

so I have something to ask you he says in a serious tone

o-okay I answer nervously

will you be my girlfriend he ask smiling

yes of course I say smiling so big my cheeks hurt.

he leans over the table pressing a kiss to my lips then sitting back down

so what do you plan on doing when you graduate he ask as he takes a sip of his wine

Im not quite sure I was thinking of trying to write a book I say as I look at him smiling.

you know where the best place to write a book is he asks smiling

hmm no where I say tilting my head

my home office he says smiling bigger

is- that your way of asking me to move in with you when I graduate I ask a bit take back

yes it is he says noting his head smiling

I guess that would be okay I say in a sarcastic joking tone

he smiles before shaking his head so is that a yes

yes thats a yes I say as I cant stop smiling

.............................................................................................................................

I just received my diploma and my college years have come to an end .

its bittersweet but exciting at the same time.

Im talking to my friends as matt come over giving me a hug .

Congratulations y/n I know you'll do great things he says keeping up the "just my professor" act up since we are in front of people.

Thank you professor sturniolo im really glad I took your class its helped me figure out I really like writing .

well I think you'd be an amazing writer he says smiling

thank you I smile back as my friend drew grabs my hand

come on we gotta got get ready for the party she says before dragging me away.

I smile and wave good bye before mouthing the words

"see you Tommorrow " making him smile

Me and my friends just got to the big ass end of the year party as everyone os drinking and having a good time.

Im deciding not to drink tonight since my stomach has been feeling weird this week and im not feeling throwing up tonight.

Were all mingling and talking reminiscing on the good times as Jay walks up to me looking upset . He was the guy I had been seeing on and off but since me and matt started seeing each other I stopped talking to him.

Y/n why haven't you answered my texts he slurs as he stumbled a bit

ive been really busy with homework and I kinda met someone im sorry I should have talked to you about it I say trying to loom like its sorry when in reality im not.

You - met somebody he asks looking like a sad puppy

yeah i... im sorry I just... he cuts me off

no don't be im happy for you he says smiling

really you are I ask a bit shocked

yeah cause I kinda met someone too his names Damian he says smiling.

I look at him jaw dropped I had no idea you were bi I say smiling

yeah I just recently found out myself but im glad were both happy and know I still love you so much you've been a great person to have in my life these past years he says bringing me into a hug

I love you too jay I say as I hug him back

well I should probably head home ive had a couple to many drinks but good luck with whatever great things you'll be doing and you better keep in touch

you too be safe I say as he walks off and I smile . That was the nicest way that interaction could have gone and im glad hes happy .

.............................................................................................................................

A week later-

I woke up this morning to my stomach feeling sick and I immediately ran to the bathroom throwing up .

Matt just texted me hes otw to help me pack all my bags and boxes into the moving truck he rented since im moving in with him today .

He just got here and were moving boxes when I feel a move of sickness wash over and I run to the toilet throwing up again.

You okay baby you feeling sick he ask as he runs my back .

yeah ive been feeling off these past couple of weeks and I threw up this morning when I woke up

im sorry baby ill make you some soup when we get home okay he says and I immediately smile.

I love that you say when "we get home" I say smiling at him

come on lets get these last boxes and get going he says with a smile .

After about two hours im fully moved in and im eating th soup matt made me .

I finish it and sit on the couch next to him nuzzling into his side when all the sudden I feel sick again I immediately get up and run to the bathroom throwing up again.

he comes in feeling my head

your not running a fever ... what are you feeling he asks looking down at me .

I don't know just tired and my stomach feels weird

how long have you been feeling like this

uhh maybe 4 weeks

he stares at me before his mouth opens slightly

do you think you could be... pregnant he ask looking at me with worry on his face

shit... that didnt even come to my mind I mean im on birth control but ... I skipped a couple days when I stayed over the weekend. I say instantly panicking

hey hey don't freak out its okay ill go buy a test right now

he takes some time to calm me down so he texted his brother nick asking him to go get the test and bring it over .

nick comes in smiling as he gives me a hug seeing I was upset

I know its tough but hey I wouldn't mind having a niece or a nephew he says making me laugh a little

okay I-im gonna go take this real quick I say heading into the bathroom .

I don't know whether to be upset or excited. I just graduated and moved in with matt and I know I want to start writing a book which I can do from home so thats a plus and matt has told me several times I don't need to get a job unless I really want to but he wants me to take time writing a book and see how far I can really go with it so .

My timer goes off and I grab the test still not turning it over as I walk out and matt and nick and now chris who I guess came too looked at me .

I cant look can - can you guys look for me I say as I hold the test out in my hand

matt take it before turning it over all of them smiling as they look up at me .

y-you're pregnant matt says

oh my god chris says as he gets up giving me a hug

I smile as he rocks me back and fourth

im so happy for you guys . Im gonna have a nephew ... or nice he says pulling away from the hug smiling so big I cant help but smiles too.

Im so happy this is good news right nick says looking between me and matt.

we. both look at each other before smiling ear to ear and nodding.

.............................................................................................................................

im about 7 months pregnant right now and I just found out my book is being published .

Me and matt are celebrating as we decide to discuss baby names .

We found out it was a boy a couple months ago but still haven't been Able to agree on a name so we brought matt and Chris over to help us decide.

okay we have 4 options

Theo , Silas, eros , and Luca.

oooh I like Silas its cool as fuck

I like eros but they are all good names its hard to pick

I knoooow I love Silas though

me too is has a ring to it Silas Sturniolo he says smiling

ahh that does sound cool chris agrees smiling

I agree I think ... its Silas then

I think its a beautiful name

we all smile nodding in agreement

.............................................................................................................................

3 years later-

Silas just turned 3 and both our families are here me and matt got married about a year ago and life couldn't be more perfect.

Ive been writing more books and people have been loving them . money is coming in from both of us and we are very conferrable .

matt is no longer teaching instead he then over a good amount of the buildings him and his brothers own and he now runs a publishing company the company that just is happens to publish my books .

our family get along so well and I just cant believe this is how my life turned out.

Old me used to say " this is so wrong yet so right" and right now all I feel is that it is right.

We met under questionable circumstances but only we know that our family's believe we met at a book signing event and thats how well keep it .... our own dirty secret that will die with us.

I love you mommy Silas says as he hugs me and runs off with Chris " his favorite uncle" and I smile .

I love you baby matt says as he hugs me from the back

always and forever I say back as we hold each other smiling and watching our life play before our eyes.

THE END 💋

tags-

@sophia-77n, @riasturns @milasturniolo @junnniiieee07 @blahbel668 @sturnsjtop @skyslondon

[unabashednightmarepizza]

After reading every blurb, one shot etc. from @radiant-reid, I can't help but imagine Spencer and a bubbly and friendly s/o.

Like, maybe she and Hotchner knew each other from before, like they started off as partners in crime together( he probably surprise adopted her at ine point with Haley) and are best friends and one day he just comes like "We have new people coming. Come with me and greet them." like a very demanding father whose child is insisting to not talk to her. relatives when they visit.

But s/o is so glad she did because wow, all these gorgeous people will work with us?🤔🙃And I'm finally blessed with beauty, elegance in all forms? 🥰💞🤩

S/o just takes a hold of Aaron's shoulder dramatically, bending slightly which makes the others worry but he already knows what's coming.

"How did you find all these gorgeous people? Pretty... So pretty and handsome- oh look! She is wearing the pink tone I love and a parrot necklace!" *aggressively shows Penelope with heart eyes, makes the woman suddenly shy and bashful because she never got complimented*

"Stop flirting with people, Y/N."

"When I see someone pretty, I need to appreciate God's work, Aaron."

*Aaron being done with y/n but still watches with a soft smile as she hugs everyone and welcomes them warmly.*

*The team being surprised since they didn't expect it but soakes it all up since Y/N is being a cutie*

*Y/N almost crying, having a slight meltdown when she hugged JJ and Emily because "Wow, I'm hugging two pretty women... 😭"*

Y/N almost hugging Penelope so thight that she was about to combust because all she felt was warmth and softness

Derek hugging her and ruffling her hair because damn, she is like a sister to him already with her bubbly and kind self.

"I'm so glad there are other people Aaron can finally annoy apart from me! He and his wife is always nagging me-"

"It's because you don't eat, kid. And We don't 'nag' you."

"Says the man who almost made me run extra laps because I didn't eat what his wife-"

*Y/N seeing Reid who was looking around shyly, quite unsure but turning to her when he felt a stare on his face* Uhm... Hi... I'm Spencer Reid...

*Y/N looks at him with a dazed look, sweet smile and glistening eyes that Aaron knew too well* "Y/N, no..."

"Y/N, yes... I found my new bestie! Look at him! So cute! And finally someone close to my age!" *later hugging him thightly and him feeling both emotional and awkward because he never felt this and he is all like 🥺🥺*

*Everyone being confused because he is a lil nerd and you are loving every second of it, even more when Hotchner lets out a sigh* "There she goes, adopting a new one... Just watch her do her magic now. You will not let her get away ever again."

*the team being confused even more but laighs as you excitedly show their desks and insist Spencer sits next to you because unlike others, you think he is so cool since he knows so much and his little facts are always so interesting*

Spencer just flushing and blushing madly since you don't sound fake and are genuinely so kind and welcoming, accepting of him that the boi literally falls in love in less than an hour and being teased by others for it.

But then, all of them falls in love with you when you came in with heavy boxes and shopping bags a few weeks later. Obviously late for the meeting and they expected Hotch to be angry but... he was just smirking knowingly, watching as you bounced up and down excitedly and was about to steal their hearts.

"So, before any of you says how late I am, I'd like to say that I had to do my usual welcoming party but I wasn't expecting any of you that day so... Firstly, here is all of your favourite drinks, snacks and meals for later... And Derek, your choice is so picky that I had to drive to the other part of the city, which is the reason why I'm late!" *Everyone widens their eyes as they see the mouth-watering meals they love while you bring the bags inside and clear your throat*

"Okay, okay... Derek, you said you wanted go to that one boxing match but was unable to do so since all the tickets were sold. Coincidentally, I know someone that works there and I was able to get you one, oh! And here is your new holster for your gun!" *proceeds to give it to him with a tiny dragonfly for luck.*

"JJ, I saw that you love scrabble a lot and also wristlets too, so I made a little charm for you alongside with an one year worth coupon for a Chinese take-out restaurant at the corner since you always gush about how amazing they do it!"

"Emily, I seriously didn't know what to get you at first, because you seemed like you don't enjoy jewelries that much but then I saw you looking at charms and playing scrabbles all the time too so I also made one charm with your initials into a keychain for you to use and got you the Lord of The Rings triology you have been wanting to have!"

"Oh, oh Garcia! I heard you were complaining how all the women's clothing were so dull and not like your style at all, wanting to have your dream dress at one point in your life... And remember I asked you to draw it? Welp, here it is! There may be some mistakes since I hadn't honed my skills in sewing and my friend helped me but I hope you like it and remember me whenever you wear them! I also got you matching jewelries too, and they are all bright colors, just as you like it!"

*Tries to catch her breath after talking for 10 minutes straight without breathing*

*Hotchner looks up and down at them as the first wobble of their lips could be seen, smirks as Garcia and JJ are the first ones to jump on you with tears because damn, no one ever loved them too much to notice all these details about them yet alone buying and making them*

"Oh wow, look at the little profiler here~" *Derek ruffling your hair to hide his own emotional eyes as you giggle, parting from them* "I've been working for like 4 years now but yeah-"

"Hey, kid. Are you not gonna show what you got for Spencer too?" *Aaron points out as you flush, your eyes beaming happily while getting out towards your car as Spencer looks confused and a lil bit hurt*

"I don't think Agent Y/N got me anythi-"

"I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED HOTCH BECAUSE-" *slams a huge box on her desk while other let out an audible wow* "I LOVE ALL THE THINGS I GOT HIM! I might as well go to a shopping now..."

*mumbles cutely as Reid's heart starts to beat harder and faster since... the box is huge and is that double chocolate and honey muffins he smells?*

"Firstly, here is your favourite coffee with lots of sweets just as you like it! And what coffee is good without some muffins next to it! I made two of your favourites, at least I think so since you always eat them, and just a heads up... I ate one because damn, did I do them so good!" *pushes them to his desk as he looks down at them with teary eyes because you spent your time doing something for him and up at you as you go on talking*

" Also here is one of the books you once mentioned reading, I think the historical one! That one was so hard to get and I had to follow you into the library you always go but I got distracted with how amazing it was... OH OH, AND I MADE YOU SOME CARDIGANS TOO! I noticed how you like wearing them and made them in your favourite colors! There are bow ties too! I had to hug you a lot of times to understand your body measures tho, I hope it was okay..."

"Then you mentioned you love pens of all kinds and I also bought some of the best ones I found and a notebook too... And the last is the best one!" *jumping in excitement*

"Hey Aaron, remember our hunt back in the national museum? And how the owner was so glad that he gave us free entrance for a year? NOW IT'S SPENCER'S, ISN'T THAT AMAZING! I expect you to bring me too since Aaron here or his wife doesn't enjoy me drowning them with sacred knowledge about the Ancient civilizations."

"Someone has a favourite, I see~" -Derek Morgan who is smiling like an idiot

"Oh please, since I kinda claimed him as my new best friend I had to do so. Besides, you are all my new friends too! Do you know how long I watched you..."

*Spencer slowly taking all of the items one by one as he looks at them, the cardigans being soft and comfy, his favourite muffins are still steaming and the pens... the pens were amazing!*

*Spencer looking at you as you wait for his approval with a smile, tilted head at him cutely and he does something he never did before: hugged you.*

"Thank you, Agent Y/L/N... You didn't have to..."

"Nonsense! You are my friend now, and you will feel it! And please call me Y/N!*gasps dramatically while turning to look at Hotch while still hugging Spencer who had a lovesick smile* "Can he sit next to me? Pleeeease!"

"Okay, okay he can...But you are not gonna sabotage his work- Who am I kidding?" *exasperated dad sighs as you pull him towards his new desk right next to you, excitedly telling him something*

"I bet my ass they are gonna get together in less than two weeks..."

Baby-girl 1: So... Mom basically called dibs on dad?

Baby-girl 2: And he wore cardigans? I KNEW THAT LOVE CAME FROM HIM!

Baby-girl 3: I want to be like mom so much...

Baby-girl 1: You did almost the same with your boyfriend in highschool 🤔🤔

Baby-girl 3: Yeah, I know...

Baby-girl 4: *baby noises*

*all the girls giggling as they continue to look at the photo Auntie Penny took at the first day where their parents are already looking at each other with love*

P.S: God knows all of them need a soft moment and someone loving them unconditionally.

P.S: How cute it would be if they sticked together for 16 seasons tho-

P.S: Am I too invested? Yes. Am I gonna write this? Yes.

*slowly writes it down on the wip*

[valaenatargaryensdragon]

How about something stepdaughter and Daemon with Rhaenyra? she finally accepts their relationship and rolls obscenities between everyoneI'm using google translate, sorry if it's not spelled right

A/N: I hope you like it!

pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Stepdaughter!Reader

summary: Rhaenyra finally accepts their relationship and rolls obscenities between everyoneI'm using google translate, sorry if it's not spelled right

Word count: 1,0K

Warnings: Fluff, smut

Masterlist 1

Masterlist 2

It came to you as a shock when your mother ordered a feast in honour of your wedding anniversary to Daemon. She has never done that before in your time as his wife. She usually celebrates their wedding anniversary with lavish feasts and many tourneys and each year it grew more lavish however your wedding anniversary always went by forgotten and instead you celebrated it together alone. You used to hate that day and would spend it mourning your youth as Daemon made love to you but ever since Baeron, your boy who was a year old now, this was your second celebration you had a smile on your face.

You wore a red dress you had intended to wear only for Daemon to see but now it will be seen by all lords and ladies in attendance. You had a smile of content on your face as your maids prepared you along your three daughters in the same room. All three were bickering on which piece of jewellry they wanted to wear. Jacaella wining with a huge smile clasped a dragon necklace around her neck.

"Please escort the princess to main hall" You ordered their handmaidens.

"You look pretty, muña" Mother. Jacaella complimented as her handmaiden helped down the platform she stood on. Elaerys nodded in response while Vael let out a sound of agreement.

"Thank you darling" You leaned down to kiss her forehead when she passed by. The handmaidens were quick to escort them away so you can finish getting ready. Your hair was braided away from your face and. your jewellry consisted of Valyrian steel that Daemon had gifted to you when you birthed Maelon.

"Even the gods envy me for I have the most beautiful wife in all the seven kingdoms" Daemon's voice paused all movement. The maids curtsied and hurried away giggling to one another. You looked at him threw the mirror you stood in front of. He was eyeing you hungrily that you feared he would eat you like you ate lemon cakes during your pregnancy with Baeron.

"Do you like it?" You turned around to face him. His face darkened at the sight of the low slit in the middle of the dress showing your cleavage.

"You look stunning, my love" He stepped over to you wrapping his arms around his your waist and pulled you flush against his body. He leaned down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss that left you weak in the knees.

"I am glad you like it" You whimpered as his lips trailed down to kiss a trail down your neck and one of his hands slipped down to grab a handful of your behind.

"As much as I am happy with where this is going-" You pulled away earning a small pout from his lips. You took a step back from him so you could compose yourself "There are over a hundred people waiting for us" You reminded.

Daemon huffed disappointed but offered you his arm so he can escort you. You smiled brightly as you walked through the corridors giggling with each joke Daemon whispered in your ear about the lords that were to arrive and you even made a bet if Aegon II was already drunk by the time you arrived or not.

"Prince Daemon Targaryen and his lady wife Y/N Targaryen" A guard announced you. The doors to the great hall opened in front of you. Your breath was stolen away by the beauty that greeted you, your favourite flowers were everywhere and your favourite song began playing in the background as you walked down the steps.

Your mother was sat in the on the table along with your sibling and children. You and Daemon approached aware of the hundreds pairs of eyes watching you two, awaiting a simple mistake to begin gossiping.

"Mother" You greeted. A smile broke through her strong facade. Surprising you she pulled you in for a tight hug, a hug you have not received in many years.

"Tala, forgive me for the way I have treated you" Daughter. She whispered in your ear. You pulled away to look her in the eyes. You took her hands in yours with a smile of your own.

"There is nothing to forgive" You assured. She giggled pulling you in for another hug, your loving mother had returned and you could not trade your happiness for anything.

Daemon sat in the middle of the table with your other on his left and you on the right, each holding his hand. His hardened heart softened at the sight of you two sharing laughs and smiles. He smiled watching as Rhaenyra pulled Vael on her lap and littered her face with kisses earning giggles from the small girl who attempted to wiggle out of her hold. Being a mother and a grandmother suited Rhaenyra like not one else.

Daemon would not trade the sight of your smile, the sight of you dancing with your sons and daughters clumsily in the middle of the room earning laughs from the people around you. He would not trade the look of love in your eyes when you two danced in the middle of the room alone to your favourite song, twirling and hold each other so delicately and so gently. He would not trade the laugh that escaped your lips when Jace and Luce took turns to dance with you, picking you up twirling you around or how you wiggled with one shoe on when Joffrey stole your other shoe and ran around with it laughing, or the way you gasped dramatically when Jace and Luce helped hide him and the shoe for you.

Daemon would not trade the way you held him as you two danced in your room with no music on, just holding each other close and swaying to the silence filled only with your love. He would not trade the feeling of your fingers as you undid his clothes or the feeling of your flesh when he undid yours. He would rather die than trade the gasps and moans you let as his fingers prepared you for his cock. He would defiantly kill anyone who heard your screams of pleasure as you bounced on his cock or your cries of pleasure as he took you face to face with your legs around his waist and your arms pulling him closer. Life was getting better and he can finally make a schedule of when to visit you and when to visit Rhaenyra, the two women he loved like no other.

[dmercer91]

ebug’s sister, dm91

part one / part two / part three

we're gonna ignore the drastic hair change and the fact that the people in pictures 2 and 3 look absolutely nothing alike despite being twins in the au

pictures saved from pinterest !

blakefriarr_

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06 and 4,867 others

blakefriarr_: my brother's an ubug, episode 3! birthday edition!

jj was not actually the ebug for tonight's game, he's just a huge suck and he got me devs tickets for my (our) birthday cause he LOVESSSSS MEEEEE

he was gonna get me a mercer jersey and then i apparently offended him by drawing dicks on the printed pdf of his 10 commandments

i can't not provide context for these photos, it's my brand. so buckle up.

one is me after unwrapping the gift my dad got for jj and accidentally put my name on. yes that is fire. yes this was our father telling jj to go get an actual job. yes i laughed. yes i kept it.

the next two capture jj and i's entire relationship visually, and they are me wanting to drink out of a much too heavy, glass bottle without using my hands. jj was incredibly concerned for his safety as well as the condition the floor would be in after i inevitably dropped the bottle and got glass everywhere. however, that did not happen because i am actually god himself. next.

dawson looks very displeased with whatever he is looking at (they were winning?????? the puck was in the o zone?????? hisch had the puck?????? idek. maybe he's got digestive issues)

the boys are having a pre faceoff chat. dawson is eating his gloves.

view 525 comments..

jj.friar31: i want that torch back

→ blakefriarr_: tough shit james

→ drayanewman: HIS NAME IS JAMES?!?!?!?!?

user6543456: dawson eating his gloves just like jack

→ user93456: will ny is the original sporting goods eater

dawson1417: happy birthday <3 hope you had a good night

→ blakefriarr_: this comment squished my heart like a pimple in the best way

→ dawson1417: you're welcome? 😭

→ blakefriarr_: thank you, handsome <3

→ dawson1417: i understand the pimple comment. good lord.

dawson1417: now that we're done being cute i do NOT have DIGESTIVE ISSUES???

→ blakefriarr_: it's nothing to be ashamed of, daws. just a tummy ache :(

→ dawson1417: i did not have a tummy ache i am a grown man

→ blakefriarr_: shit ur right my bad you've got functional dyspepsia

→ dawson1417: i've got WHAT

user230237: this is so chaotic

user098765: i love that everyone just goes with this

dawson1417: final comment i promise but why is your shirt half see through

→ blakefriarr_: why ISN'T your shirt half see through 🤨

→ blakefriarr_: lemme have a look

→ jj.friar31: this is why you didn't get a jersey

→ blakefriarr_: @/dawson1417 can i have a jersey

→ dawson1417: @/blakefriarr_ i will get you one from every theme night as long as they've got my number on them

→ jj.friar31: you're a TRAITOR, dawson.

njdevils: happy birthday, blake!

→ jj.friar31: happy birthday blake AND JJ. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOO. I'M THE EBUG!!! I'M MORE SPECIAL

→ blakefriarr_: i wouldn't say more special but you're definitely a different flavour of special

→ blakefriarr_: also technically your birthday was yesterday so stop acting like a colossal piss baby

→ jackhughes: huh

→ blakefriarr_: i REALLY did not want out of there bro i was hanging on for dear life

→ jackhughes: oh shit i thought dad had mad game

→ quinnhughes: then they wouldn't be twins ?

→ blakefriarr_: oh my god one of them has a brain cell

→ quinnhughes: glad i could be of service, congrats on being whatever age it is that you are

lhughes_06: i was gonna say happy birthday and then you said i had less braincells than quinn.

→ blakefriarr_: correction- i said quinn had one (1) braincell. therefore implying that you have none <3

lhughes_06: happy birthday jj

→ blakefriarr_: and you WONDER why i like quinn better

jackhughes: you were born on this day 🎉 jj wasn't, i guess. but happy birthday to him

jj.friar31: @/blakefriarr_ thanks for pissing off 2/3 of the hughes' i needed that

→ blakefriarr_: you're welcome it was your birthday gift

→ blakefriarr_: but just cause i'm butthurt i'll leave you with the thought that ellen would probably like me better

nicohischier: happy birthday to you and jj, thank you for calling me something normal

→ blakefriarr_: kinda weird that you don't find cap normal do you have something to share with the class

→ nicohischier: no i am 24 and i do not attend class

dougieham: i would never in a million years have thought you two were twins before your first post i actually just assumed you'd hid behind him until you got to meet us and that there was no correlation

→ blakefriarr_: is it cause i am really cool and he is just jj

→ dougieham: no.

→ dougieham: well actually sort of

→ blakefriarr_: aw thanks dougie

→ dougieham: i said sort of

ryangraves27: my head made it into this one

→ blakefriarr_: i can't tell what tone of voice this was meant to be read in

→ blakefriarr_: like are you sad?? thrilled?? terrified?? should i crop you out next time?? emote please

→ ryangraves27: i think i will not

→ blakefriarr_: this comment made me call my therapist

→ jj.friar31: thanks man she needed this

→ blakefriarr_: remember when both of the gifts had my name on them and nobody was shocked and the first one was money and things i was actually interested in and the second one was a propane torch that nobody will ever use unironically (remember which one was meant for you?)

→ jj.friar31: while ur on the phone with her can you make me an appointment too

→ blakefriarr_: she made it right before mine in case you need more time.

→ jesperbratt: you're joking about the gift thing... right?

→ blakefriarr_: they paid his college tuition

→ jj.friar31: they paid for part of your car

→ blakefriarr_: i drive an '11 civic and the check engine light has been on for a year and a half

→ jj.friar31: they pay for your apartment

→ blakefriarr_: we live together???

→ jj.friar31: that is definitely a point

view more comments..

[ghostofasecretary]

going insane. sasuga.

postulate:

when you want something to happen, it's good to take steps towards it or it probably will not happen

postulate:

people are likely to avoid things that feel bad

premise:

if both of these are true i have a fucking problem.

i hate! being this guy! i hate being up too late talking about how i haven't done my homework. i feel like i'm in high school or some shit and that feels *bad* on account of *high school fucking sucked* and i didn't like my life very much back then

(i mostly still did my homework except for the time i failed two classes. like. that did happen in midterms and i had a little mentie b or whatever. (after my grandma died? in senior year?? no, surely it was junior year, i remember how suicidal i was that break. it was...right, i think my school only did final grades, not midterms, i worked all Christmas to pull them back up.) i pulled my grades up through the power of generous teachers, actually. other people are often kind.

fuck!!!

question: if there is no reward for your efforts why make them?

answer: THERE ARE REWARDS, they're just long term ones!

also knowing i tried my best is usually rewarding but. at the moment. i think my best is pitiful and that feels bad

addendum: unfortunately for me, god's scrunkliest little bat, there are also a lot of ~adversives~ in this situation.

premise: shame is a bad motivator

supporting evidence: i haven't done anything since getting home and i literally just took my sleeping meds an hour after the Latest Possible Acceptable Time to do that and i didn't eat a real dinner and i'm still in my fucking work clothes

statement: i'm tired.

statement 2: taking a 7am class was a bad idea!

so glad i didn't take the 5am one! but also! when you know that you usually prefer to do One Thing Per Day, and to prep for that thing several hours in advance, in defiance of reasonable evidence-based arguments that you should do multiple things in smaller chunks per day. well. then maybe. you should make it so you aren't expecting yourself to wake up at 5am to prep for your 7am class if you want to do anything, OR stay up till midnight, or otherwise fuck up your sleep schedule *with no promise you'll actually get the work done or FEEL ANY BETTER*

issues:

- my skill level and knowledge base AS IT CURRENTLY STANDS makes doing this work. like. extremely difficult. it certainly feels like my options are a) put 8+ hours of work a week into it or b) fail.

- i'm intimidated by the people i'm in class with and i feel like i'm fucking up both my reputation + the environment of the class for everyone else

- in the past i HAVE tried doing the things i've done in similar classes. put, like, at least 4 hours of work in? i did thirty minutes of work earlier today. i'm not doing *nothing,* i'm just. fucking. failing?? it feels like no amount of work would be enough to keep me from failing???

- all i ACTUALLY have to do to "pass" is show up every day. this does not make me feel better because i like being good at things and feeling like my presence improves the world around me as opposed to the opposite of that

- i don't have a spare 8 hours! i barely have an extra four hours! this class happens on my Dedicated Study Day BUT, ALSO, CRITICALLY. IT HAPPENS AT 7AM.

- theoretically i could spend all my Monday coworking time and an hour after work each day on this? practically. i need to, like. do my accounting. fix my thrifted and old clothes. wind down after any long days of teaching. clean my room. eat food. make food to eat. and that would still only get me 6 hours. and i'm not sure that even fucking bridges the gap!!

[ - i need a second job so bad how the HELL am i supposed to manage any of this what the FUCK man]

- in the past i have prided myself on two things, academically. 1: doing the fucking work. 2: being willing to ask dumb questions and make an ass of myself if it means learning. turns out 2 is contingent on 1, at least in this context. as the kids say: Unfortunate.

- if i hadn't put this on my grad school apps i would seriously consider just. like. dropping this. i'm still considering that tbh. if the less advanced class weren't at, like, FOUR AM i'd consider switching to that and i've also considered emailing the instructor like "re: my failure to show up to your class prepared and able to participate. sorry. um."

and then i don't send that email, because i don't know what i WANT

- this isn't my first time failing a class. i've failed classes in high school. i went insane over them and somehow pulled it together. ...i'm not, like, objectively failing, i just FEEL like i'm failing.

- there's a fucking. easy bit of work we do every class that i could prep and i'd always rather do the Real Reading because that's what i *care* about but i don't have the *skills*

- last time i was this outclassed i WAS A FULL TIME STUDENT WITH A SUPPORTING LANGUAGE CLASS :/// SO I COULD DO 8 HOURS OF WORK AND IT WOULD MATTER!

and i still freaked the hell out a lot!!!!

(there were zero random respected profs there as my ""classmates""!!!!!!!!) (AND IT WAS IN THE AFTERNOON SO I COULD WORK ON IT ALL MORNING!!!)

- i can't afford to be this fucked up about this shit. i need to do other things with my energy and i need to feel good and i need to like living and i need to WANT to do this thing i do actually *like* when it's not *terrifying* and excruciatingly difficult!!

current thoughts:

i can actually just keep failing and showing up and disappointing myself and probably my instructor and classmates every day. like. there's no grade or threat stopping me, just Feeling Bad. historically that's not a great combo for me because i pick Feeling Bad over Massive Amounts Of Work While Feeling Bad every time and it never fucking feels good. since neither one feels good. and i'm tired and stressed so! what then!!

i should do Baby's Easiest Bit Of Work and then go to bed.

blaming everything on external stressors i chose to accept in the first place, especially when i have so much inner angst, feels very dumb. but that doesn't make it necessarily *wrong*

(also remember when my grandpa died and i showed up to class the next day? that sucked. this sucks! the material is fascinating and the language is beautiful and the people are lovely and i feel like i'm walking over hot coals made out of shame!!)

let's try, next week, a little experiment. the experiment is called Fuck It, I'm Just Showing Up. we'll do the very easy thing and nothing else unless we want to. rock up to class like i'm not a waste of space. listen and take notes and try to learn things and enjoy the experience.

i don't actually think it'll go well? but THIS (*gestures at the last ten-ish (non-linear) weeks of trying and failing to do the work adequately or. like. At All*) is going very badly indeed so something has to change. we'll try it.

the worst thing that can happen is that i'll feel stupid and look bad, right? and i already feel stupid and think i look bad.

...well, no, the worst option is that i'll feel stupid and like i could have done more and CHOSE NOT TO and i'll STILL look bad and it will be 100% my fault and i'll just be mad at myself forever.

find me 8 spare hours to spend re-teaching yourself a language and transcribing it between alphabets and translating objectively difficult language and then we'll talk, asshole. for now: FUCK IT. GO TO BED.

it is too late to chew over this for ages. you can ask friends for advice later. sleep!!!

[tia-amorosa]

Episode 2: unmotivated (Part 2)

Later at breakfast. Well, it was almost eleven o'clock by the time they ate their cold waffles. Accordingly, they were no longer juicy. “Cough, oh God…"/ ‘You wanted to eat later, hnhn’/ ‘h-hh, I didn't choke because they were cold, you just used too much sugar’/ ‘Really?’. He took a bite and had to admit that she was right.

Lisa looked at him for a moment and then had to grin mischievously. “What is it?"/ ‘Hn… Tell me, what do you see when you look in the mirror?’/ ‘Me, or what else am I supposed to see?’. She nodded and continued. “Mhh, of course, but I think… You look more and more like your father as time goes by"/ ”what, really? I honestly didn't notice"/ ‘hn, I do’.

“I'm glad you're amused by it. At least I didn't inherit his hideous monobrow.” She remembered his father's appearance only too well. The continuous, thick line of black hair above his eyes. They often made fun of it as children.

After breakfast, Lisa took care of her little roommate. “Aww, baby. You look so cute with your little stubby tail. I'm always amazed at how animals cope with the loss of body parts. Their tails are actually used to balance their bodies. But you're coping well, eh?"/ ‘I'll clean the mirror…’.

The mirror in the bathroom wasn't really dirty, but VJ still had to wipe away a few water stains. Once he had done that, he looked at his reflective counterpart. “hmm… She's kind of right… I really do look more and more like him. Holy crap…”

It was almost midday when Lisa heard the door lock being operated. It was always the same rhythmic sound when the key was turned. She could tell exactly who was coming to check on her. But she wasn't really expecting anyone on a Sunday. The door opened with a short, rhythmic knock.

After the door had closed, Lisa put on an annoyed face. “You know very well that I don't like it when you just drop by unannounced. I shouldn't have given you the other key"/ ‘I knocked… Are you okay, sis?’. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Hey, Ethan, two hours earlier and you would have caught us having sex"/ ”Ah… Thanks for that important information, VJ. Is everything OK with you?"/ ‘Did Mam send you?’/ ”No, I'm here today of my own free will. Holly wanted to go to the Summer Festival with the others“/”mhm… We're fine, as always…”.

“And how are you really doing?"/ ‘Oh man, Ethan, you ask me that every week’/ ”I know, but your eyes say otherwise. I know you're depressed. But there's no point burying your head in the sand. It may not have been enough to become a doctor, but you can still be an assistant“/”It's called a veterinary assistant“/”oh, yeah, right, sorry”.

“I just don't have the motivation at the moment, o.k.?"/ ‘Hhh… man, and I always thought VJ was the one who would lie lazy on his back’/ ‘hey, be careful with your words’/ ”hehe, I didn't mean it like that, o.k.? How's it going in the workshop?"/ ‘Good, the boss said they needed someone like me’.

“Why don't you at least get a mini-job or something first, huh? Or do you want to live in this trailer for the rest of your lives?"/ ‘I know it's not very nice here, but it will be one day, okay?’/ ‘This place is really lacking a bit of color’/ ‘Yeah, yeah… You better tell me how Holly is doing?’.

“She's doing well, Michael and Peter too. I didn't think living together as a flat share would go so well"/ ‘Well, they're both gay, so you don't have to worry about one of them coming on to your girlfriend…At least she can start her second semester now,’ said Lisa, rather depressed. “Now don't let this get you down, okay? You still have so many other options."/ ‘Yes… Let's see…’.

“and when are you coming to visit us again? You haven't been back for a while. Mam keeps asking about you, Darleen and Arlo too"/ ‘Hm… And Dad?’/ ”Him too, of course. He's currently training new soldiers. He's happy to finally be able to work in a barracks again. But he won't be called up for any more missions.“.

“yes, he can continue in his dream job, albeit with a few restrictions"/ ”you see, it's similar to you. Hey, you've still learned a lot. Just turn it into something good. O.k.?"/ ‘hh… I'm really still waiting for my click moment’/ ‘alright… will you come by anyway?’/ ”mh, o.k.“.

“And if you need anything, you know I'm happy to help… And as I said, a bit of paint wouldn't hurt the room"/ ‘well, as long as it's not pink’/ ‘hnhn… And… I'm sure you want to start a family one day, right?’/ ”There's still time. I want to finish my training in the workshop first."/ ”That's right, there's still plenty of time. But it will happen at some point, and then you both should be in a good financial position.“

A few seconds later. There was no ringtone, but Ethan's smartphone vibrated to signal that he had received a call. “Yes? Are you having trouble again? Yeah, okay, I'll be right there"/ ‘What is it?’/ ”That was Xander. Pauline's not at home right now and the little one is cranky.

“Well then, go and see him. I saw the little one the other day, she's turned out really cute"/ ”yeah, and he really loves her like crazy. I can hardly wait to be a dad myself"/ ‘then wait until Holly's back, then you can get started’/ ”hehe. And please don't let yourself go like that, okay? You can do so much more"/ ”o.k.” . Ethan said goodbye to VJ and the cat. For him, it was just a short visit to check that his sister was really well. He was always worried, no matter which family member it was.

After her brothers had left, Lisa went to the desk and watched VJ while he played video games. Surprisingly, he stopped quickly and then turned to her. “What, why are you smiling like that?"/ ‘You heard him, get a job and we can make lots of babies’/ ‘hnhnhn, oh man, VJ’.

“Huh…"/ ‘Really, sweetie… I quite like the idea of holding a little thing like that in my arms with you’/ ‘How long have you been thinking about it’/ ”For a while now. And I only want the best for our mini Alvi, so…let's really rake in the cash, shall we?"/ ‘Oh man…alright. hnhn, I love you’/ ‘mmh, that's how it should be’. Lisa is also surprised by her boyfriend's development. After they arrived in Bridgewood, he immediately looked for an apprenticeship in a garage. And he was already enthusiastic after the first few days. He knew it would be a while before he became a mechanic, but at least he would have learned a trade that can earn him good money. And Lisa? She's sure to find the right thing for her. We meet them again later.

------------------------------------------------------------

@greenplumbboblover , @solorisims , @plumbobgothica ☺

NOTE: I made a post at some point in which I wrote that I would really like to do a story with just the two of them. But they are not the only survivors, so I will visit all the others in turn. I will then decide spontaneously which household I will continue with next. :) or I will go with the surprises that the story progression throws at me.^^