#God?????? They fuckin talked to god???? What the fuck

[nuemanfilms]

sam x bimbo reader pleaseeee

BREAK || S.W

Summary; Dean goes out on a food run, and Sam needs a break.

Content Warnings; PWP, piv, riding, praise, dirty talk, breeding kink, bimbo!fem!reader, soft!dom!sam, reader wears pink lace and has manicured nails, slight biting, brief finger sucking, this is just porn sorry.

A/N; i’m so fucking obsessed with bimbocore and sam pls, this is 500+

xoxo, roro <3

Dean was out on a food run. The stack of papers that littered the motel table were now scattered and discarded. Sam had his head buried in research for what seemed like hours. You eventually moved from the bed to then sit on his thigh, his arm wrapping around your waist to keep you still.

You couldn’t stay still though… his thigh bounced every once in a while directly up against your core. Causing your pretty, lace panties to just end up getting soaked with arousal. Your whines and pleas for Sam to give you some attention finally didn’t go ignored.

He knew you wanted him to have a break, and he knew he needed one too.

Your pink, lace panties were pulled to the side as Sam’s hands moved you up and down on his length. You were bouncing up and down like a sweet little bunny rabbit as your head tossed back giving him access to start mouthing at your neck. Your sounds fueled his ego, and the way you were squeezing his cock was telling him how you enjoyed it.

“God, Baby… y’pussy’s squeezing me- fuckin’ love this, don’t ’cha?” His raspy voice stuttered a bit. Your manicured fingernails scratching at his back had him groaning into your neck. He bit down hard before soothing the mark with his tongue. His emerald eyes darted from where his cock was moving in and out of your cunt to how your lips were parted.

Breathy moans left you which were soon cut off by two of Sam’s fingers shoving into your mouth. You wrapped your lips around them almost instantly. Sam’s left hand still gripped your hip tightly. You were fucking soaking his dick, your arousal dripping down to his pants that he wore. Which he previously tugged down just enough so he could shove himself inside of you.

“Sammy- I can’t, ngh.. I can’t- please.. t-too much-“ Your voice was broken, whimpers spilling just after you stuttered out that sentence. Sam had a cocky grin on his face, watching each time he nearly pulled out, his cock coated with your wetness.

“Y’got it, Honey. See? You’re taking it inside of this pretty pussy so well..” He praised, you let out a ‘mmph’ sound. The lewd noise of his dick slamming in and out of your cunt was vulgar. But so fucking hot, especially just looking at the way your bodies entwined.

“C’mon… don’t stop, keep riding it- that’s it, Pretty girl. Love shoving it inside this little hole s’much..” His dirty talk had your nails digging further into his clothed skin, leaving deeper marks. But it didn’t make him flinch, god, it made him feel the exact opposite. Knowing he was the one fucking you in half, knowing he was the one who got to stuff that pretty little cunt with his cum? It was euphoric.

“You’re so deep, Sammy… s’deep inside me- mm, can’t wait to have y’ cum in m’pussy..” Your brain was practically mush. All you knew was how Sam felt… how he was feeling. You only knew him.

He let out a groan again, “Yeah? You know ‘m gonna fill you up good, Sweetie. Get you all nice and leaking f’ me…”

[stoopidpigeonxx]

⋆˚｡⋆୨✧୧˚ 𝑶 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒎𝒚 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏. ˚୨✧୧⋆｡˚⋆ (PT. 2)

OKOKOK I MADE THE PART TWO PLS STOP YELLING AT MEEEE

NSFW under the cut. MDNI.

Characters/fandoms: Captain Curly, Mouthwashing Content warnings: Smut, obvi, p in v whatt, curly being a SLOPPYYYYY eater, praise (from you and him), boobs, tits even, curly being 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, alot of dirty talking, etc. Our boy curlys a bit of perv.

-Manners? What manners?

Curly is a, what do you kids call it... a munch? Yes. If he goes down on you, and he most likely will, he will be SLOPPY with it. I'm talking drooling all over your cunt, licking it from top to bottom, shaking his head side to side and pressing wet kisses to your clit. It's ironic, really, since he's so polite in and out of bed, but he doesn't really care about a mess if it means pleasuring you. What's a little mess? Sheets can be washed.

"Sorry *kiss* about the mess, sweetheart.. *kiss* can't *kiss* help myself."

-Beautiful tits. And rack. Love it.

When asked the question 'ass, tits or thighs,' he's gonna pick tits. He's a titty guy. Sure, your ass and thighs are nice too, and he gives them an equal amount of love, but nothing can beat the feeling of shoving his face into your boobs when he's thrusting in and out of you. It has something to do with hearing your heartbeat and how fast it is, but mostly he just likes suffocating between your twins. And if he's particularly stressed, he'll just set you on his desk and lift your shirt up and go to town. Sucking, squeezing, rubbing, all that. His favorite stress balls. And god forbid the day you get nipple piercings... He's mindlessly playing with the metal with his teeth, enjoying the feeling of the cold brass on his tongue. You'll have to wear bandaids. (which he'll apply, apologizing profusely.)

-Praise me for sin.

Call this man a good boy and he's whining and shaking. It goes both ways with him. He loves getting praised, and he loves praising. A few of his favorites.. "You're doing such a good job." "Look at you, taking everything like a champ." "God, you're gorgeous." "Good girl." "You're so pretty, baby.." "Atta-fuckin-girl." He knows you fold every time for that kind of talk, so he makes sure to say at least one while you're getting naughty. On the other hand, some of his favorites to hear.. "That's a good boy." "Thank you." (Manners.) "I love you so much." "You're too good." "Fuck, that's good." Hearing how good of a job he's doing is only fuel for him to keep going, and gets him hard as a rock. So, use that mouth. (Unless its occupied, wink wink.)

-He babbles when he comes.

When he's right on that edge, he goes a bit dumb. You feel so warm and good, and he's so fucking close, and his brain just loses all ability to form coherent thoughts. So he just mumbles whatever comes out of his mouth in that adorable whiny subby voice. (You know the one.) "Fuuuuck too good too good too good.. baby.. g'na make me come, coming, coming." Or just a chorus of 'yes' over and over. Its really cute because he tries to be quiet with it, but his brain is so broken that he can't control his volume too well. He has to shove his face into your shoulder or a pillow to muffle himself so the crew doesn't overhear.

-Can't stop, won't stop.

Will not give up until you come, no matter how sore his cock is or how cramped his legs are. He wants you to come as many times as possible before the night is over, and he's willing to overwork himself to achieve that. You've told him its okay, but he doesn't really care. Feeling you clench around him and ride out your orgasm is the best thing he's ever felt, so he's gonna have you coming at least 3 times each session. Unless, of course, you're begging him to stop since its too much. He'd never want to hurt you. He'd pull out and lay with you for a while and let your body calm down before starting up again. "Take it easy, angel. I'm right here. It's okay, you're doing so well." (Why does his dirty talk sound like him coaching you through birth?? 😭)

[stxrslut]

LET HIM REST 𐙚⋆.˚

pairing; s4 jj maybank x cupcake!reader

summary;  it's safe to say jj may have crashed out tonight, and you are the only person he can turn to. so you make it your goal to get him taken care of, and at least a little content after the turmoil of tonight

content; hand job, mommy kink, titty sucking, adjacent to s4 plot

authors note; as much as I am a season 4 hater I did happen to find a small bit of inspiration from it... so without further ado...

jj is pacing around your room, hands on the back of his head, breathing erratically. you’re sitting on your bed. his boots are loud against the wood floor which is the exact opposite of what he’s supposed to be being right now. he’s supposed to be laying low and that involves staying quiet so that anyone going past or around the house wouldn’t hear him. 

“jay.. just.. just sit down.” you sigh, trying to get him to be calm, but he doesn’t listen. he’s limping a little, only because he’d jumped off a roof after starting a whole fucking riot, not a big deal at all. 

god, if you weren’t being the responsible one here you’d burst out crying. he’s being so frustrating, you need him to be calm so you can be calm. 

“can’t— I can’t fuckin’ do this anymore!” he yells and kicks the wall, making you flinch. you need him to calm down. 

“jj.. jj please. please sit down.” you stand now, placing a hand on his arm only to be pushed away. you sigh, “jj.” the agitation in your voice is made obvious by the weary sigh you let out. 

“shit.” he kicks the wall again, it cracks a little. you’re not sure if it’s sweat or tears coating his cheeks, maybe both. 

“come here jj,” you pull him back, speaking with only a little forcefulness in your voice. “please sit down… please.. let me help you.”

he complies, though he’s still agitated and probably still ready to break something. you guide him to sit down on the bed where you were before and then you take a place next to him. you put an arm around him and rest your head on his shoulder in an act of attempted comfort for both him and you.

jj reaches a breaking point right about now, you think. now it is tears. you're certain of it as his breath becomes ragged and his body begins to shake with small sobs that he's trying ever so hard to hold back. 

“jj… oh jj dont cry.” you rub his side. you feel so much sympathy for him in this moment, his whole world has fallen apart in the last few days. there's no legitimate solution that you can offer him. the least you can do at this point is try to help him get his mind off of it. “what do you need? tell me what you need, jj.” 

he sniffles, “just.. just don’t wanna think about it okay. don’t wanna talk.” okay, you can do that, you can not talk. you press your lips into the side of his arm. he needs a distraction, you can do distraction. 

“hey… why don't i look after you for a bit… take your mind off it.” your hand goes to rest on his leg as you look up at him from where you are. his eyes are red and sore, filled with excess tears. 

he sniffles almost pitifully but he nods, realising now just how much he needs a distraction. “yeah,” his voice is breathless, from the tears and the yelling. “please.” 

your hand begins to run up his leg, stopping when it reaches the top of the zipper on his jeans. “just concentrate on me, okay. i'm gonna take real good care of you baby.” you pull it down, revealing his boxers which you also pull down by the waistband.

he exhales shakily, leaning back on his arms. you pull him out of his pants and slowly begin to work him with your hands. it doesn't take much to arouse him, despite all the turmoil, it's still jj. 

you start to jerk him off, slowly at first, you don’t want it to be over too quickly. when you’re sure he’s ready you begin to move. 

you guide him and reposition gently to have him laying down on his back, you get onto your side next to him. your hand keeps working on his dick with a practised skill.  

you don’t quite notice when his hand comes up to tug on the neck of your shirt. it takes you a moment to realise what he wants, but when you do you’re happy to comply. you pull the clothing off, revealing your tits to him. his lips part and he moved himself over to easily attach his lips to your nipple. 

“mmh.. m— ma-” he’s babbling incoherently, but it’s okay, you know what he wants to say. you’ll let him say it. 

“it’s okay baby… mama’s gonna take care of you. s’all gonna be okay.” you murmur, free hand tangling in his hair whilst you keep jerking him off. 

his whole body is reacting. his hips buck and jerk and his stomach ripples though you don’t see it through his clothes. he keeps letting out noises too, whimpers and whines, ones you know that he only lets out when he really needs to. 

you don’t care that your nipple will be sore after this, you don't care that your arm will ache from moving it like this, you don’t care that you’re not receiving an ounce of pleasure. you love this boy, you need to take care of him otherwise you’ll be good for nothing. 

jj’s hips move more, you can tell he’s approaching a much needed climax. you keep going until he cums, making a mess on the sheets and both of your clothes but you don’t care. 

“oh.. there you go.” you make sure he rides it out, and when he does you let go and bring your hand up to rub his side. 

“felt good.” he breathes out, his mouth is still not fully detached from your boob but you pay no mind, he has needs. 

“yeah.. I’m glad.. you just relax now okay.. just relax.” you stroke his head as he settles down to shut his eyes. he’s still messy but it’s okay, you’ll clean him up when he’s asleep. get him changed too, his clothes are mucked up and ripped. 

but for now, just for now, you’re going to let him rest. 

[darlingdaisyfarm]

Spicy chatting with Stan and Ford? Consider this ask my vote for that ❤️💙

(Love your writing, I've lurked for a while and finally remembered to follow)

sexting Stan and Ford headcanons

2 part of this

also thank you so much <3 im so glad to know you enjoy my writing !

tagging : @nekovmancer

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Stan Pines

✧ he tries. god, does he try. but his texts are a combination of filthy and absolutely unhinged, it’s straight to “doll im sittin' here thinkin’ 'bout how good you’d look bent over my desk.”

✧ typically sends a blurry pic of his bare chest, captioned, “betcha wanna get your hands on this masterpiece, huh?" and you’re just staring at the picture like. . . gosh, Stan, who took this? did he set a fucking timer? he looks hot though 

✧ so yeah Stanley sends you photos, usually unprompted and always blurry because he’s just an old man, dear, what did you except?? his clothes half-open, pants unzipped just enough to give you a peek of what’s underneath and next message is: “betcha wanna see the whole thing, huh? be a good girl and ask nice.”

✧ texts you in the middle of the day: “gonna bend you over the kitchen counter tonight babe. make you cum on my fingers before I even think about putting my cock in you. whaddaya think?”

✧ he loves it when you’re bold, you send him something like: “what if I sit on your face instead?” and he’s instantly typing back: “doll, don’t threaten me with a good time. ya know I’d keep ya there till your legs give out.”

✧ Stan worships your photos. you send him a quick pic of you in bed and he replies immediately: “FUCK look at you. LOOK at THAT body. im gonna make you regret sending me that when im back. you better be ready for this cock, doll, ‘cause im not holding back.”

✧ a huge tease tbh, he wants you to beg. “tell me what you want, sweetheart. you want me to spread those legs and eat you out until you’re shaking? or maybe you want this thick cock filling you up?“

✧ “you’re touching yourself right now, aren’t ya? cant stop thinkin bout me pounding into you, huh? go ahead, baby. lemme know how bad you want it.”

✧ he’s got no shame about jerking off while texting you, you say one dirty thing, and he’s already: “jesus fucking christ, you’re killin me here, doll. im so fuckin hard right now. If you were here, I’d have you on your knees, taking care of me like the good girl you are.”

✧ Stan’s aftercare starts in the texts. so after he’s talked you through your orgasm, his messages turn soft. “that’s my girl, bet you look real pretty all flushed and satisfied. get some rest, doll you’re gonna need it when I get home.”

✧ Stan LOVES it when you play hard to get. “cmon, baby, don’t leave me hangin’. I swear, I’ll make it worth your while when I get my hands on you again.” but when you finally cave and give him a little, just a little, taste of what you want, his reply is “yeah that’s better, let me see that pussy of yours. you know I can make you feel good. let me prove it.”

✧ as you have already understood, this man is shameless, and he knows he’s good at getting under your skin.

“been thinkin’ about that pretty little cunt of yours, doll. what’s it gonna take to get my face buried there tonight?

✧ if you send him something back, it’s over. he’s going to double down with something that makes your toes curl. “you don’t know how badly I wanna fuck that smart mouth of yours until you forget your own name.” 

✧ the man is a sucker for dirty talk. he loves it when you tease him back, but he’s the most eloquent in his replies

✧ “If I was there right now, you wouldn’t be able to get a single word out. id have you moanin’ so loud they’d hear you down the street. you like the sound of that?”

✧ “you know I could really go for you in that tiny skirt of yours right now. make you bend over and fuck you while you’re still wearin’ it.” damn

✧ he’s a man of action. his texts are short and right to the point. “im gonna make you scream my name tonight, sweetheart. better be ready.”

✧ sends you something filthy right out of the blue. "you’re really makin' it hard for me to concentrate on work, baby. every time I close my eyes, all I can think about is the way you looked last night, riding me till you couldn’t walk.”

✧ if you send him a picture, especially if you’re in lingerie or something that shows just the right amount of skin, he goes wild. “WOAH, sweetheart. you’re gonna make me LOSE IT. I wanna tear that off you and fuck you right here RIGHTJ NOW.” the author's spelling has been preserved.

✧ a lot messages like: “tell me, doll, what color are those panties you got on right now?“

✧ but the minute you call him on his antics in person, he’s all cocky smirks and “ya can’t blame me for wantin’ to spoil my favorite girl, can ya?”

bonus 

Stan: hey doll, you up?

You: it’s 1 AM Stan

Stan: exactly

Stan: perfect time to talk about what you’d look like on top of me 

You: …smooth 

Stan: c’mon don’t act all shy

Stan: you were thinkin’ it too. bet you’re wearin’ somethin’ cute right now, huh?

Stan: or nothin’. nothin’s good too! 👍👍👍

You: why are you always texting me at the most unholy hours?

Stan: unholy?? c’mon sweetheart i’m just here tryna spread a little late night joy

Stan: i was thinkin’ about you though

Stan: well. you. and about how that sweet little mouth of yours looked last night

You: oh my godd

Stan: what?! it’s the truth

Stan: bet you’d look even better right now

You: you’re horrible

Stan: and you’re fuckin’ gorgeous

Stan: now be a good girl and tell me what you’re wearin

You: literally in my pajamas Stan

Stan: cute

Stan: betcha look sweet all wrapped up in blankets… though you’d look sweeter wrapped around me instead

You: fuck

You: Stan! 

Stan: what? i’m just bein’ honest. you want me to lie? fine! i’m thinkin’ about taxes. there. happy?

You: oh, shut up old man 

Stan: nah i’d rather talk about how soft your thighs are. how they’d feel so good squeezin’ around my head. c’mon, sweetheart, gimme somethin’. don’t make me do all the heavy liftin’ here

You: only if you promise to return the favor

you smirk, biting your lip, already excited because god you love playing hard to get with this man. so you let the moment linger just long enough to make him squirm before snapping a photo, of course you were lying bout pajamas and Stan damn knew, he felt 

you send the picture: lacy panties of your favourite colour barely covering anything, paired with an oversized sleep shirt that’s slipping off your shoulder

Stan: holy fuckin shit

Stan: you’re gonna make an old man’s heart give out

You: what, you don’t like it? :(

Stan: don’t like it? baby i’m gonna FRAME this picture and hang it on my wall

Stan: better yet i’m gonna print it out and carry it around so i can show off what’s mine

You: wtf that’s absurd

Stan: no what’s absurd is how hard i am right now. fuck, baby, you’re gorgeous. every inch of ya

You: your turn, old man

You: prove it 

you don’t expect him to actually follow through, but then your phone buzzes

Stan: look at what you’re gonna get, babe. and it’s all yours

a photo. exactly what you imagined: poorly lit, shot from a slightly awkward angle, but still breathtaking and so damn hot. his cock is thick and heavy in his hand, flushed and glistening at the tip, veins are prominent, pulsing down the shaft, and his fingers, broad, calloused, strong, wrap around it like he’s ready to ruin you as he strokes himself 

your mouth goes dry, you blink at the screen, your lip caught between your teeth. hell, you’ve seen him before, touched him, tasted him, but this photo is something else entirely. your fingers twitch like they want to reach through the phone because you’d crawl through the damn screen if you could

your fingers hover over the keys, trying to think of something clever to say, but the words won’t come. thighs clenching instinctively as you just stare at the screen.

You: okay, not bad, old man

Stan: NOT BAD?!

Stan: sweetheart, you’re lyin’ through your teeth. i know you’re sittin’ there soakin’ through those little lace panties of yours

You: please, you think one dick pic is enough to faze me 

Stan: oh, is that right? big talk comin’ from someone who’s gonna be beggin’ for it by the end of this

You: you wish old man

Stan: nah I know. let me paint you a picture, sweetie

Stan: you, spread out under me, that pretty little pussy so wet i can hear it every time i slide in. your legs wrapped so tight around me like you’re scared i’m gonna pull away. and me, fillin’ you up so deep you can feel me in your fuckin’ throat

and there your smugness falters

You: oh god

You: Stan

Stan: what’s the matter? 

Stan: cat got your tongue? betcha you’re soaked right now, huh? sittin’ there with that pretty little pussy all wet, wishin’ i was there to fill ya up

Stan: admit it, baby. your fingers aren’t even enough. you’re mine. every inch of you belongs to me and i’m gonna remind you of that the second i get my hands on ya

You: you’re not winning this old man

Stan: heh sweetheart, i already HAVE

your fingers fumble on the keyboard as you type, cheeks burning

You: please come

Stan: there you go, now that’s my girl 

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Ford Pines

✧ he starts out so awkward it’s painful. you’ll send him something suggestive, and he’ll reply with: “Oh. Well. That’s… intriguing.” Intriguing, Ford? seriously?

✧ as we all know, Ford overthinks everything! it takes him forever to hit send because he’s convinced he’ll say something wrong and he’s so fucking nervous

✧ but as soon as he feels comfortable, he’s sending you long, well thought out messages full of science-y talk about how he wants to make you feel, because of course he’s analyzing you in a way. “I’ve been reading up on the physiological responses of the body during… how should I put this?… intimate interactions. Your body would likely respond most positively to the—” and then he gets really filthy without realizing it

✧ but Ford, dear sweet Ford, doesn’t always realize just how much of an effect his words have on you. if he’ll start spouting off his deep thoughts, you’ll send him, “Ford, I swear to god, if you don’t stop talking, I’m going to need to change my sheets.

✧ absolutely loves when you tease him, but he also knows how to turn it back on you. “Good girl, now tell me exactly what you’d like me to do to you, in vivid detail. I’m taking notes.”

✧ "I’d have you on your knees, darling. Holding you by the hair while I take you deep, slow. You’d love every second of it, wouldn’t you?"

✧ Ford LOVES playing the “I’m going to ruin you slowly” card. It gets under your skin every time. “You won’t be able to think about anything else when I’m done with you. I’ll have you begging for more.”

✧ you’ll send him a flirty text and two minutes later, he’s sent back an entire paragraph detailing how he’d peel your clothes off and worship you from head to toe

✧ as I said, he’s so damn descriptive, I mean bro literally wrote 3 journals, it’s easy for him. “I’d kiss my way down your stomach, slow enough to make you squirm. My fingers would trace your thighs, spreading you open so I could take my time tasting you, savoring every—” you’re already screaming into your pillow

✧ surprisingly filthy when he gets really needy and horny. long messages about exactly what he wants to do to you or what he wants you to do to him

✧ Ford is a huge fan of getting into your mind before he even thinks about touching you. he wants to know what makes you tick, what gets you wet, what turns you on mentally first

✧ he tries to stay composed, but the second you tease him, his composure shatters. you send him a pic, maybe just a peek of your thighs and he’s breathless: “What are you doing to me, darling? Do you have any idea how hard I am right now? I can’t stop imagining those legs wrapped around me while I’m making love to you, God help me.”

✧ “i would love to feel the warmth of your skin beneath my fingers as I slowly undress you. I’ll start by trailing kisses down your neck, your chest, until I reach the sweet spot between your thighs. Would you let me do that, darling?”

✧ embarrassingly vocal about how much he needs you. you’ll get texts like:

“I can’t concentrate on anything. I keep thinking about how tight and wet you felt around me last night. We need to make love again.” and then, seconds later:

“Please tell me you’re touching yourself right now. I need to know you’re thinking about me while you do it.”

✧ “God, I’d give anything to have my cock inside you right now.”

✧ If you send him a spicy picture, he just about short-circuits. “You��re exquisite. I need to see more.”

✧ “You don’t even realize the effect you have on me, do you? I’d ruin you in the most wonderful ways, darling.” you’re a puddle in seconds.  

✧ Ford loves when you’re explicit with him. if you’ll text him something like: “I want your cock so deep I forget my own name,” you’ll get: “Careful what you wish for, darling. I’ll have you screaming it by the time I’m done with you.”

✧ If you ever send him something too really dirty, all your fantasies and wishes, expect him to stare at your text, blink for a second, then type back: “That’s... unexpected. But I’m very intrigued. You must have an incredible imagination.” 

✧ sometimes Ford gets real quiet after a particularly hot conversation, nervous even. “I shouldn’t have sent that… I’m sorry if I…”

“Ford, don’t you dare apologize. I love it.”

bonus

Ford: Are you still awake, darling?

You: what do you think?

Ford: Well, considering you’re answering me, I’d say yes. I must say, you’ve been a distraction all day, sweetheart. I just keep replaying the way your skin felt under my hands the last time we touched… the sounds you made when I kissed you, your thighs.

You: sounds like you’re the distracted one, Doctor Pines

Ford: You’re the most beautiful distraction imaginable. Entirely your fault.

you smirk at the screen as an idea strikes

You: how’s this for distracting?

you send the picture: legs spread wide, your pussy glistening under soft light with two fingers pressing yourself open just enough to expose everything. you know Ford’s obsessive attention to detail, the way he adores every curve and line of you. oh god he’ll lose his mind over this

but. . . 

Ford doesn’t reply immediately. one minute. two now. the anticipation builds and your stomach twists.

You: …

You: Ford?

You: oh my god, say something!

You: was it too much? too forward?

five agonising minutes later, your phone lights up.

Ford: Darling… You are beautiful. Utterly perfect. Forgive my silence, I needed a moment to… compose myself.

You: five minutes of silence isn’t exactly reassuring, Ford

Ford: I assure you, I was not silent in my head.

You: damn

You: thought I broke you there

Ford: You nearly did. It’s taking all my willpower to stay coherent.

You: old man ur making me blush

Ford: I’m sorry! I wouldn’t dream of embarrassing you, my dear. I’d rather make you tremble with pleasure.

You: you really like it that much?

Ford: I’m obsessed, love. Now, listen carefully. Take those fingers, sweetheart. Slowly. I want you to trace circles around your little clit, soft and teasing. No rushing.

and of course you obey

You: im so sensitive rn Ford

Ford: Good, honey. Yeah, nice and slow.

You: like this?

Ford: Exactly like that. Does it feel good, darling? Tell me.

You: so good im already so wet for you 

Ford: Good. Now, slide one of those fingers inside. Don’t go too deep yet. Just enough to feel it.

You: fuck, Ford 

You: feels amazin

Ford: That’s my girl. Now, add another. Stretch yourself out for me, darling. I want you to imagine it’s my fingers instead. Feel how I’d curl my fingers to touch you just right, all your sweet spots. Don’t stop until I tell you to.

You: :((

Ford: Sweetheart? What’s wrong?

You: it’s not the same

You: you’ve got six fingers, i can’t make it feel like you

Ford: Ah, my darling… that’s terribly unfair of me, isn’t it? You’re right. No one else can touch you the way I can. But I promise, when I’m there, I’ll make it up to you tenfold. For now, let’s keep going. I want you to use your fingers, sweetheart. Make yourself feel good for me, pleasure yourself. Please. Slide them deep and tell me how it feels.

[jam3sacaster]

“I’m gonna have ‘ta punish ya’.”

(Rivals) Declan O’Hara x Reader

Suggestion by darling anon 🫶🏽 / You and Declan butt heads, and then some…

Set just after the pageant, messed with the timeline a lil i think but I managed to work the punch in another way <3

18+ FANFIC / SMUT GALORE, angsty & lots of swearing. Fairly long and very HEAVY smut, sorry x Declan you horny bastard, we love you. Reader character aged 21.

As always, request what you wanna see in the ask box 💋

“I can’t just stop working for Corinium, Declan. You cannot just waltz into my life and expect me to give everything up for you!” You shout, feeling rage seep through your veins. Declan and Rupert have been cooking up a ridiculous idea within an hour, desperate to overthrow Baddingham’s Machiavellian reign of television. “They have my balls in a fuckin’ vice, my love,”

“No, they HAVEN’T! You have thrown a ridiculous temper tantrum, on television, because you are so determined to get your own way because you’re a selfish, stubborn bastard.” You interject, slamming your reddened palms on the dinner table, face contorting in fury. “They want me to sell my fuckin’ soul, babe. To sit and judge these fuckin’ superficial pageants whilst that cunt Vereker gets MY spot on my fuckin’ show.” The Irishman bellows, leaning across the table and pointing his finger dangerously close to your face. Declan O’Hara is fucking scary when he’s angry, but my God is he sexy.

Rupert leans against the counter top, remaining silent in embarrassment. It was certainly better for everyone that way. Steaming with rage, you sit back in your seat, stray hairs sticking to the beading sweat on your forehead. “You can’t keep behaving like this, Declan. Like a fucking child.” You tut, avoiding eye contact with him. Declan frustratedly rakes a hand through his slicked hair before pouring himself an intoxicatingly large unit of whiskey. “I’m sure you can coax Tony into some amicable solution. It’s blatant he wants to fuck you. He would do anything for someone willing to open their legs for him.” Rupert pipes up and gestures towards you, cigarette smoke creating an ashy veil across his face. An excruciating silence ensued. Your eyes widened in absolute horror — Declan would certainly not take kindly to this joke. Rupert should’ve kept his mouth shut.

“You fucking what?” Declan asked him, walking towards him slowly, eyes frenzied with wrath. “Calm down, Declan, it was just a joke.” Rupert chuckled, offering his hands up in defeat. “What did ya’ fuckin’ say?” Declan asked again, containing to walk towards him until they were nose-to-nose. Another incredibly painful silence— even Rupert didn’t dare speak. After a few seconds, he opened his mouth to speak but Declan swung at him, landing a brutal punch with a wet smack. “DECLAN.” You bellow, grabbing his muscular arm and pulling him towards you. “Get out, Rupert. I’m so sorry, but just go home.” You shake your hands frantically as Rupert pulls himself from the floor and ushers himself out, clutching his face in agony.

“What the fuck are you playing at?” You scream, voice croaking under the pressure. You push Declan away from you as soon as you hear the front door click. “Ya’ t’ink I’m gonna let him talk about ‘ya like ‘dat? Talk about ‘ya spreadin’ ya’ legs for tha’ CUNT Tony?” Declan matches your enraged tone, pacing around the kitchen table but maintaining eye contact with you. You couldn’t reply to this. He was wildly protective of you — often infuriatingly so, but he could barely stand to see another man so much as look at you. Rupert’s joke was way too far.

“My job is turnin’ me into a fuckin’ laughin’ stock, you t’ink I’m a joke and you’re wavin’ your fuckin’ arse around in front of Tony.” He howled again, enraging himself with his own words. “Oh, fuck off Declan.” You spit, pushing yourself out of your chair and beginning to abandon the kitchen. “Don’t walk away from me.” He tuts, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards him. “Don’t fucking touch me.” You scream and the words can barely leave your mouth — a pathetic mixture of anger and despair. “I am fucking sick of you!” You immediately regret the words as Declan’s top lip curls in vexation. Oh fuck.

•

He hurtles towards you, pushing you towards the wall and almost taking you off of your feet. You close an eye, internally preparing yourself for the crescendo of noise he is about to create. Instead, he collides his lips onto yours, grunting in annoyance as his tongue pushes his way into your mouth. Feeling yourself melt under his touch, Declan’s hand rides under your blouse, ripping it off from the inside and exposing your bare chest — perky breasts wobbling with the force and nipples hard from arousal. The bristles of his moustache send a quiver down your spine as he kisses down your chest before taking your left nipple into his mouth: swirling around the pink bud and sucking it softly. A stifled whimper escapes your lift as you lift your hand to his trousers, rubbing across his hardening bulge.

“Bend over.” Declan demands, pulling away from you and pushing you gently towards the dining table. Hesitantly, you do as you’re told and bend over the table, skirt riding up your thighs. Not that it matters too much, as it was promptly yanked down, exposing your bare arse to the man that owned it. Running his rough hand across the right cheek, Declan smacked it firmly, the harsh noise of skin on skin reverberating across the room. “Ya’ do know I’m gonna have ta’ punish ya’.” He growled, readying his hand for another firm smack. “Mhm hmm.” You whisper, nodding your head, consenting softly. Another unyielding smack made you yelp with aching pressure — a reddened hand print beginning to take form. “Oh fuck.” He groaned, lowering himself to your level and biting firmly into your arse, pleasure taking control of his entire conscience. You keep your eyes firmly pressed shut, awaiting the next smack. Instead, you chomp down on your lip as you hear Declan’s zipper, and the subsequent sound of his trousers dropping to the ground.

“Do ya’ want it?” The Irishman questioned, teasing your slick entrance with the head of his painfully erect cock. You could feel yourself practically dripping as he placed a firm hand onto your waist. “Yes…” You breathlessly moan, pushing yourself towards him, aching to feel his girth inside you. “Yes, what?” He growled. “Yes… Daddy.” You whimper once more, desperation overtaking you.

“Good girl.” Declan praised, and pushed the full length of his cock into you, but thrusted slowly in and out. “Oh, fuck.” You wail, as the walls of your vagina grip him like a vice, already aching with the girth of his dick. “Ya’ like that? Do I feel good stretchin’ ya’ out?” He asks, grabbing a fistful of your hair and increasing his tempo with every wet smack of your arse against his pelvis. Eyes rolling back in ecstasy, teeth firmly planted into your bottom lip, mind fuzzy — you must definitely cannot muster a reply. “Tell me, girl. Tell me how good I feel inside ya’.” He asks again, hand reaching under to stroke your clit, coaxing you even closer to orgasm. Declan lolled his head back, pumping harder inside you as his fingers worked their rugged magic. “So fucking good, Daddy.” You manage to muster a reply.

“Ya’ so fuckin’ wet. Wrapped around my cock. Look at ya’ bouncin’ on my dick like a good fuckin’ whore.” Your lover groaned under your heat as he pounded into you, but the tension twisting inside your stomach was too much to bare. “Dec..Declan, I’m gonna…” You begin, but you feel him pull out in preparation.

The repetitive pounding of his enlarged cock on your g-spot left you in a dazed mess as you squirted onto the kitchen floor, legs trembling insanely throughout your orgasm. Declan watched the obscene mess he’d created with a terrible smirk on his face, full of adoration. “Good girl,” He affirmed again, “Look at the mess you’ve made for Daddy. Fuckin’ good girl.” He thrusted into you again, tempo increasing, hungry for his own release. “Are ya’ gonna let me cum inside ya?’ He asked, but he needn’t. You were already pleading with him to fill you with his seed. You needed to feel his hot, sweet cum inside of you.

“Please. I need it, Daddy. Please fill me up.” You begged, feeling Declan’s cock twitching inside you. The gratifying groans leaving his mouth prompted you to reach under your legs and stroke his cum-filled balls, luring him to ecstasy. “Fuck. Get ready, princess. I’m gonna fuckin’ cum.”

Bracing yourself to feel his warmth inside you, you kept your hands wrapped round his balls whilst pushing your arse into him, goading him to go faster. Spurts of hot cum covered the walls of your pussy, each rope accompanied with a pleasurable groan — absolute music to your ears. “Ahh, fuck.” Declan murmured, pulling his cock from your pussy and pausing for a moment to watch a droplet of his seed drip from your walls.

“Well done, my girl. You’ve fuckin’ milked me dry.” He chuckled to himself, slapping your arse once more playfully and huffing to himself.

[manikeri]

too rough..

content warming: rough sex, dirty talk, stomach issues (he tore your shit up), breeding, aftercare, little bit of begging, whiny dom! eren, sub! reader, enjoy!

summary: Eren just can’t control himself when he’s inside your pretty pussy! He goes so rough that you have cramps, don’t worry though. Your renny would never ever just leave you like that! Forgive him?

“Heyyy baby…” Eren coos while rubbing your back gently, his weight putting a dent in the bed as he sat next to your cradled body. Your knees to your chest with the blanket over your body. You nudged your body forward a little before wincing at the pain that shot through your tummy.

It was all his fault!! You had the whole day planned out! You were gonna go on a coffee run, go on a target shopping spree, maybe even grab a bite to eat! But nooo…

Don’t get it twisted you love your pretty boy, so much! He just has a problem.. an addiction.. to your pussy. Last night was the 3rd time this week he woke you up in the middle of the night to have sex!!!

I mean.. you weren’t sleeping anyways.. but that’s not the point!!! You were getting there, ok?!

“please don’t be like that.. I said sorry..”

“…”

“really? Silent treatment?”

“…my stomach hurts”

“i know baby, I’m sorry I brought you some aleve and water”

Eren kneeled in front of you as you sat up from your fetal position holding your stomach. You took the pills and drank the water while staring at him.. god he was so pretty

His forearms resting on his knees as his head was tilted to the side, you watched as he brung his tattooed hands up to your things rubbing them slowly. You couldn’t help but let your mind wander off to what happened last night

“fuck! too r-rough ren!” you screamed for the millionth time tonight.

“pussy feels so. fuckin. good. babyyyy… oh my god i love you so much” he whined as he continued fucking himself out in your pretty cunny

You layed your head back down as he gave you the most lethal backshots known to man, you tried putting your hand on his abdomen but that didn’t work.. he was saying things like

“shitt.. no, not right now baby. please don’t keep this from me right now”

“please baby please just let me have it. All of it”

“Stop doing that..! I need this so badly, please let me make the both of us feel good baby.”

All you could do was whine along with him! You both were so pathetic. Fucking each other stupid at 1 in the morning. Your eyes rolling back as you bit the blanket. His hips having a mind of their own, his cheeks dusted a baby pink, his eyes furrowed in pleasure, and his mouth hanging open as he watched where you both connected.

You started to throw it back a little on him, you hated seeing him do all the work. You never wanted to be a pillow princess. You love pleasing your man, and man did he love you pleasing him

“shit! you trynna one up me baby?”

“n-no.. just wanna make you feel good”

“makin’ me feel real good baby”

He let out a shaky sigh before grabbing your hips and ramming into you with all his might. You squealed into the blanket as you took his harsh strokes. Eventually you felt a tingly feeling building up in your stomach, Eren knew before you could say anything to him.

“I know baby i feel it, just let it go.. fuck me…”

“want you to cum with me!”

“fuck! You’re driving me crazy y/n… shit im gonna cum, cum with me please baby please”

You came on instant a loud moan leaving your lips as your eyes crossed and squeezed you eyes shut, a loud groan coming immediately after.

All that could be heard were heavy breaths and squelching as eren rode out both of your highs. He finally pulled out and laid down next to you, only to find you already dead asleep. He kissed your forehead before drifting off himself

“if you keep staring at me like that you’re gonna be complaining about your tummy for the rest of the week” he said poking the flesh and giggling after you kick his calf.

“Just jokes beautiful, come on, I got you a surprise” he says getting up and walking to the door before turning around and seeing you still on the bed.

“hey, baby.. im really sorry i went so rough yesterday. You have every right to be angry-”

“im not angry ren.”

“so why aren’t you coming wit-”

“I can’t walk…”

His mouth opens in realization before walking out with explanation, then back in with a bunch of presents. Your favorite drink, snacks, new plushies for your collection. Some bags from your favorite store.

You smiled and held your arms out for him to hug you, he put everything on the bed and walked over to your side of the bed with a smile

“I love you rennie”

“I love you more baby.”

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

Rotating Hans Jager Junior in my mind. I only had my dear boy for an episode and a the handful of times he came in clutch volunteering to do high level Cleric shit in the subsequent seasons and I adore him I adore him so much I want him, I need MOAR of this fucking man oh my GOD I am So Unwell over him ABSDKFGASL;DGFH;ASJDBGRFUH

You don't understand- you don't Under Stand, it's about the way he has no escape from the way people treat and talk about him because he has a literal divine voice in his head saying variations on Those Same Things that the others have used to bully him as long as he can remember. How the only difference is other people bully him to entertain themselves but the voice in his head bullies him to force him to be different. How he never asks anybody but Arkadios to treat him better because he can deal with discomfort from outside himself, but discomfort from inside himself is so insurmountable and unfixable to him and so he just keeps running and hiding and lashing out in little ways and fixing his gaze on whatever looks sturdiest moment to moment because he is not sturdy, he is weak and cowardly and pathetic.

I love him, I love him so so fucking much, I love how he's high level as fuck but doesn't see strength in himself; for all we know that could be part of how he *became* such a high level Cleric. The idea that he's placed so much of his soul and his life and his sense of safety and agency in the hands of Lathander, and his devotion and responsibility to the faith is the thing he leans on to supplant his own responsibility and devotion to himself and his sense of self worth. So when this horrible thing happens, he cannot do anything but find another church to hide in. He can't do anything but run and panic and cling to what little he has left of himself and realize just how little that really is and he well and truly feels pathetic.

Then he immolates a squad of minions and drives out a devil from heaven and he begins to ascend Mount Celestia and actually Become A Fuckin' Person and it's so wonderful I love it I love him I want more of him I love Hans Jager Junior AUGH-!

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 44

It’s Day 44 and this absolute fucks with my rules a bit. Junko’s barely in this, and it’s far more prominently focused on Ibuki than it is Mikan. So I’d consider this one of the weakest days of the whole Project. Am I being unreasonable? Probably! 

I do however have stories to tell, now granted on an older post on my main account I did tell this before, however it was cut down because it’s decently related to the fact that I ship Junkan, and that was a secret at the time.

So some of ya’ll probably know that I ship Mukuro x Sayaka x Ibuki, because I like to be in pain and what better form of agony is there than a Rare Pair so rare that by my count there are 3 pieces of fan material for the ship that weren’t made by me. One of them is fanart that existed before me, one of them is an AO3 fic you can only read with an account, and one of them was drawn by my girlfriend at my request. So what does that say about how fuckin’ Rare it is. 

Anyway, the reason I came to this ship is because of a dream. I couldn’t tell you the full details from memory because it’s been awhile, but essentially there was a moment where Ibuki was talking to Junko on a video screen, and Junko was concerned for Ibuki’s safety. And while still dreaming I found myself confused because “Hey wait, I ship Junkan, not (Insert whatever the ship name for Ibuki x Junko is)”

So in the strangest stretch I ever made, I reasoned out that it was actually Mukuro disguised as Junko like in the original game. But then came the issue of “Wait, I’m an Ikuzono shipper!” for you see, for some reason when it comes to Danganronpa I can’t for the life of me Multiship. I can do that just fine with something like, RWBY for example, but Danganronpa? I find one ship that appeals to me, and I do not stray from the path, as if I'll be fucking cursed the moment I do. The only time this has ever gone differently is when I read like, two Maki x Kaede x Miu fics and realized “God dammit I love this” after years of being an Irumatsu shipper. 

So i took the pain route and just made it a polycule. 

And now I stare at myself in the mirror and just plead to the reflection “Why?” in the middle of the night . . . okay not actually but it’d be funny if that was true.

Anyway uh, oh right the art. I really liked drawing Mikan just being a gay little dweeb over Junko while Ibuki is just vibing like an axolotl (there’s a drawing idea.)

And don’t worry everyone! They won’t take away focus from our Star Couple, but my highly specific polycule will return in the future. Fear it’s impending return. 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[actuallysaiyan]

Thank You For The Meal(Small Smite x Fem!Reader)

warnings: smut, oral sex(male receiving and fem receiving), Villain!All Might, insecurities, lewd content, cum swallowing, Small Smite word count: 1k pairings: Villain!All Might/Small Smite x Fem!Reader

dividers: @adornedwithlight

taglist: @thissaintjessi.  @cherryblossombankai, @thestarsystemsworld @pixelcafe-network

He doesn’t really understand what you see in him. He’s not quite sure why you show him any kind of affection. You’re an angel in his eyes. You aren’t without your faults, you keep reminding him. But to him, you are pure perfection.

The way you’re so quick to help him clear his mind when he’s got the whole world on his shoulders. The way you help remind him of his worth. The way you always listen to him when he tells you the story of his life and what caused him to become this way.

Even now, on your knees for him…how the fuck can you look up at this skeletal man and think he’s sexy?

“Oh god,” he groans softly. “So fucking beautiful.”

His big hand cups your face, gently rubbing his thumb over your cheekbone. You’re eagerly stroking his hard cock, the one thing that he’s happy hasn’t changed since the injury. Toshinori knows his cock is big and even if he can’t always be in his muscular form, he knows that he can please you with his dick.

“Always such a pretty girl for me. You love my cock, don’t you?”

You look up at him with such a cute look in your eyes. You look like an innocent little angel, but he knows the truth. You’re naughty; a filthy woman who rivals even his own fantasies. You’re like everything he loves about sex wrapped up in the sweetest person he knows. It’s such a turn on for him to have you eagerly stroking him.

“Love your cock,” you whisper hotly. You lean in and lick the tip.

Smite moans loudly, reaching down to tangle his hand in your hair. You are going to be the death of him. Honestly, he wouldn’t even mind if he died this way. What a way to go…

You pull him from his thoughts by wrapping those pretty lips around the head of his cock. Smite grunts as he looks down at you. He’s about to buck his hips when you beat him to it by taking him down your throat. Seeing his cock disappear into your mouth has his knees buckling.

“Holy shit…” he hisses. “Holy fuckin’ shit baby.”

You try to giggle with your mouth full of cock, sending vibrations down his cock. He shudders and closes his eyes in fear of blowing his load too quickly. He swears you’re some sort of temptress sent from hell sometimes because of the way you easily get him to the peak.

“Take it easy on me,” he groans. “I’m an old man…”

You lightly slap him on the thigh as a way of saying ‘don’t talk about yourself that way’. You’ve warned him and begged him not to say such demeaning things about himself so many times. You adore him,  despite the age gap. Toshinori is everything to you. Otherwise you wouldn’t be deepthroating his impressive cock right now.

He begins to pump his hips, moaning your name every time the head of his cock nestles in the back of your throat. You’re so good at not choking on it, though you’ve had a fair amount of training. He’s looking down at you now, his eyes full of lust and love. His fingers tangle in your hair, tugging you back and forth on his erection.

“Fuck I love watching you suck my cock,” he says with a grin. “You always look so fucking hot like this, baby.”

You reach up to begin massaging his heavy balls. By the way they are feeling, you can tell he’s been pent up. It’s not like you two get to see each other every single day, so you’re putting a lot of effort into this feeling so good for him. Smite growls, his legs shaking as he gets closer to that sweet release.

“Haaaah—fuck, baby girl, you’re gonna make me cum.”

You moan and swallow around him, making him tremble. He looks down at you and when your eyes lock, he can see only pure love for him in your eyes. It’s what sends him over the edge with a low growl of your name. His fingers tug on your hair harder, keeping you down on his cock as he spills deep down your throat.

When he releases you, you make a big show of sucking on the tip to get any remaining cum and swallowing it all. Then you stick out your tongue, proudly showing that you swallowed his entire load. Smite helps you to your feet, leaning down to kiss you deeply.

“Best fucking thing…” he grunts. “Such a good little cocksucker for me. Pretty baby girl is such a good cocksucker.”

He then picks you up, throwing you onto the bed with enough force to make your breasts bounce. He enjoys the way you so eagerly get in a lewd position for him. His hands come down to begin taking off your shirt. Then he nips at your neck, making you gasp.

“How about I return the favor, hm?” he suggests with an aroused tone to his voice. “I’ll lick that little pussy until you cum hard for me.”

Without another word, he begins to strip you. His hands feel like bliss on your skin, rubbing and caressing. When he spreads your thighs, your breath hitches in your throat. He smirks down at you, his eyes dark with need and lust.

“Look at this cute little pussy,  just begging for a little attention…”

Smite leans in, blowing air on your wet pussy. Your clit twitches with need. You try to reach down to tug on his hair, but he’s quick to pin your wrists to your sides.

“Let me take care of you, baby.” Smite says in a teasing voice. “You took such good care of me, I know you’ll enjoy this.”

He nudges your thighs apart once more, grinning ferociously as he comes face to face with your went cunt. He’s going to tease you  a little longer, but you know by the end of it, you’ll be a sticky, shaking mess.

“Ita-daki-masu.” Toshinori says in a mocking way before leaning in to lap at you.

reblogs and comments always appreciated!

©actuallysaiyan 2024– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!

[cptjimmy]

The radio in the cockpit crackled with static, before a sigh was audible.

“ Alright. Whoever’s in our airspace, knock that off. You’re fucking with the Tulpar’s navigational system. Autopilot is already detecting you as our own ship, and if this goes on for longer than necessary, I’m losing my whole fuckin’ paycheck. I don’t know how the hell you got it to read your ship as ours, but cut that out. ”

Well isn’t that a familiar voice.

@responsiblecaptain

He hears the old, usually busted radio crackle to life, making him nearly jump out of his skin.

"What the fu-"

He begins to mumble to himself before getting cut off by a somewhat familiar voice trying to cut its way through the static.

Jimmy scratches his head and stretches before grabbing the handheld to respond. He doesn't remember the last time he's used this thing I'd he ever even has.

Two things are for sure, there shouldn't be another ship out here other than the tulpar and no one tells him what the fuck to do.

He holds down the button pausing a moment before speaking.

"I don't know who the fuck you are or what the fuck you're talking about but you sure as fuck aren't gonna tell me what to do! I don't give a fuck about your god damn paycheck!

Whatever weird bullshit you're selling, we don't want any!"

He lifts his finger up off the button and places the handheld back in its spot.

[jazzically]

[1:09 AM]

Peter L.: Anyone up?

Peter L.: No?

Peter L.: Thank god

callumbrooding: i am

Peter L.: W.t.f. do you ever sleep

callumbrooding: sleep is for weak old people

fairestofchilds: it's easy for YOUR nocturnal ass to stay up youre a fucking child

Peter L.: Wait why are *you* up

Peter L.: Simon??

Peter L.: Jonah why is he up???

JimmyMagma: Good Lord, Peter, I am trying to sleep.

callumbrooding: just turn on dnd

JimmyMagma: I burned my phone years ago. The group chat resides in my goddamn brain.

JimmyMagma: Which, by the way, does not have a Do Not Disturb option.

callumbrooding: sounds like a you problem :/

Peter L.: What are you doing though simon

fairestofchilds: winning

JimmyMagma: He's stalking partygoers so he can kidnap them and throw them off Mt. Helen.

Hezekiah Wakely: How original.

JimmyMagma: I know.

Mikechtenberg: he literally stole that idea from me

Hezekiah Wakely: I was talking about the repetition. Do you never tire of pushing things off of high ledges and making them fall?

Peter L.: Of course he isn't he's practically a fucking cat it's so irritating

Hezekiah Wakely: All I am saying is that perhaps a little variety would widen his view a bit. How does entrapment sound?

fairestofchilds: blocked lmao

[9:46 AM]

livingmybesthive: gm guys how are we :3

livingmybesthive: going landfill scavenging again today wish me luck ✌️😘

annabelle: i'd rather not. superficial wishes are wasted in a world of unpredictability.

J: Wait which landfill

livingmybesthive: the one near oliver's house

J: @banksy11 Where do you live

banksy11: cul-de-sac on 44th st

J: Oh okay

livingmybesthive: why

J: You should go to the one near the abandoned takeaway shop they put all their leftover shit there and it's so nasty

livingmybesthive: ooooo ok thanks :)

J: Np

[3:21 PM]

The_Piper: Istg if one more neighbor calls about the noise I'm going to burn their house down

Jude perry: ??? without me???

Jude perry: piper what

Jude perry: this one hurts

The_Piper: That's the point of me :P

[8:05 PM]

Daisy: uuuuggghhh i'm so tired this bitch at work won't get off my case about some lawsuit or something

Daisy: it's not MY fault that a deer happened to cross my backyard and set off one of the bear traps

juuuulia: just one???

Daisy: i cleaned up a bit so you can actually see the grass under all the spikes now!!!

juuuulia: omg good job i'm so proud

treeeevor: about time. getting across ur fuckin yard is such a pain

Daisy: then i did my job well

Peter L.: See she hates visitors too i'm not weird

Dr. JD: No one asked

Peter L.: Image

[ID: A screenshot of a text message. The date is labelled a few days prior. It is from "Dr. JD" and says: "What do you mean your P.O. box has armed guards?? I get that you're with The Lonely and all that but are you serious"]

Peter L.: See? you literally did

Dr. JD: I *am* no one

Peter L.: Oh yeah mb

TMA au where everything is the same except all the avatars have a whatsapp group chat where they all talk shit, constantly.

Whenever you give yourself up to a fear you get added to it automatically- if you don’t have a phone, you get a phone- it’s like a little gift baggie

Jon is the only one who’s never in the GC (or whoever the Archivist is at the current time)

Because its funnier that way.

[keferon]

“Mistakes on mistakes until” ch 69 spoilers below!

Ahahahahahahah here I go again

Mistakes on mistakes until until I can draw Jazz with my eyes closed

I woke up, checked my phone, woke up for real and decided that whatever plans I had for this day yeah no they can wait a little bit kfkgnfk

Also. Consider listening this while reading. Or don't who am I to tell you what to do~

[lovelyrotter]

ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!

[queerdiazs]

tease tidbit tuesday 🫧

hi friends, i'm procrastinating doing my fema courses in favor of watching season 4 <3 have a lil bit of eddie vs the hoa

It’s just—Buck is big and it kind of drives Eddie a little crazy.  Like? God, okay. He’s a little stupid over it. You’ll have to forgive him.  He is so big, right, larger than Eddie and Eddie isn’t a small guy. He’s filled out since finishing his probationary year, settling in his career and getting comfortable in the life he chose for himself and Chris. He’s more functional muscle than big gains; his stomach’s soft, protected by a sweet layer of fat, but his core’s solid and his arms are twice the size they used to be when he was twenty-seven.  See? He isn’t small.  But, like, Buck’s just bigger, wider and broader and thicker, and there’s something so delicious about having somebody that large at his mercy, at his every beck and call. Buck has this quality about him, no matter his size, like he’s always ready to drop to his knees and let himself be taken care of, and it has Eddie’s head buzzing in a way that most definitely isn’t from the beer. 

tagged by @wikiangela, @jeeyuns, @devirnis, @disasterbuckdiaz, and @daffi-990 <3

tagging @spagheddiediaz, @puppyboybuckley, @evanbegins, @honestlydarkprincess, @exhuastedpigeon, @thewolvesof1998, @theotherbuckley, and @monsterrae1 if any of you wanna share!

[kingarmorking]