#God i beg no weird ppl liking this... Be normal guys

[abortionado]

I have a real life tale of Homeric Epic proportions for you all. I do not condone the actions of anyone in this story

My senior year of high school, I was entrenched in a preposterous scandal between two of my friends.

Guy 1 was this completely indescribable, sexually ambiguous, utterly ridiculous little xc/debate club twink who was an armed libertarian leftist, HYPERfixated on working class history, and VERY intelligent but so hyperactive and deliberately loud/obnoxious that all of our teachers hated him anyway. He called me “Rosita Bonita,” and was accepted to Princeton and CalTech but was going to a mid-tier school nearby because he didn’t want to leave the mountains. 🥺

Guy 2 was an extremely easygoing, widely-beloved football player with a FIANCÉ he’d been with for 3 years (religious people in small towns get engaged young) who was a devout environmentalist and was planning on going to trade school in Italy after graduation. No real reason, he just thought Italy was dope, which I respect. 

Both good guys, both weird

We were all the same friend group (me, the dudes, the fiancé, & several other ppl), and those two were really close. Like if I was slightly more heterosexual I would say “bromance.” The summer before senior year, those guys, another friend of ours, and the fiancé went on an educational environmental science trip to Peru, where they, like, hiked around and camped out in the mountains. I don’t know or care what they were supposed to be learning about the environment up there, I just know that they split their little group of 4 up into a boys tent and girls tent, and these two boys who the Lord God put on this earth to play high school sports started fucking each other in tents in the rocky mountains of Peru.

Which would normally be like, okay, so what, Rose, why are you telling me these dudes’ business, but you have to remember that the second dude had a fiancé, a female fiancé no less, who was on the trip and was sleeping just a few yards away from where these boys were fucking each other. And this is where it morphed into everyone’s business

My friend, the only member of their little group who was not involved, called me from a hotel one night when they’d gone back down out of the mountains and into a town (and thus had cell service again), and she was like, “Rose, you need to help me.”

And I was like “What? What’s wrong?” Panicking, because my four dear friends were very far away in a weird mountain town and I had no idea what could possibly have happened

And she goes “I think that [guy 1] and [guy 2] are having sex, and I don’t know how to tell [fiancé].”

This is news to me, because I was previously SO sure that guy 2 was straight. I was like “I really think you’re losing it”

So we talked it out a little bit and decided that the high altitude was getting to her, and our friend wouldn’t cheat on his fiancé, who he really loved, and our other friend wouldn’t sow division in our close-knit group like that

School started back up however long after they got back, and things were just like. Completely normal for a while, and then after like a month of the whole thing being forgotten and under the bridge, guy 1 becomes overwhelmed with guilt and decides to tell the fiancé that he was in fact fucking her beloved in the Peruvian mountains.

Now, this was a MAJOR blow to the law, serenity, and order of our group, as im sure you know if you’ve ever been involved in a situation where a member of a friend group was cheating with another member of a friend group. All of my friends are very progressive, so it was much more about the cheating and lying than the fact that they were both men, but I would be wrong to say that that was not also a concern, because it came so completely out of nowhere. We were all blindsided (except for my friend, who I had accidentally gaslit into believing this wasn’t happening and she was going crazy from mountain air 🤪)

So. This is where it gets wild

Guy 2 takes the logical path out and decides to just lie and say that this never happened at all. Like, he straight up denies everything guy 1 is alleging.

I don’t know why he did that. You should never lie about something if the other person has screenshots, which guy 1 did. He had screenshots like you would not BELIEVE.

And he IMMEDIATELY took to the public Internet, which my mother uses, with these screenshots.

A lot of people had heard rumors about this by now, because these guys were both athletes and guy 2 was like “popular” or whatever, so it just kinda gets around. Guy 1 decided to feed the people and send the screenshots to the school gossip IG acct (“____ high school tea”), and of course, the person running the page was THRILLED to have such top-tier content so early in the school year, and it was all posted for their 1,188 followers to see.

The screenshots told a story that ran much deeper than two dudes fucking each other on a field trip. I had initially kind of assumed was just a “gay-for-the-stay,” messing around kind of thing, but there were screenshots of texts from guy 2 about getting MARRIED, telling guy 1 that he was his SOULMATE, telling him he “set my heart to flame,” “I love you more than anything,” etc etc., and, most notably, a picture of guy 2 in the act of SUCKING GUY 1’s DICK. Some of these things dated from WEEKS AFTER they got back from Peru.

So, it was clear to me that guy 1 AND the fiancé both felt (justifiably?) extremely fucked over by guy 2 at this point. The previously-airtight group was on the verge of collapse, as all of us had been dragged into this conflict between these 3 mfs. The girl called off the engagement.

Guy 2 wrote a notes app apology to the entire school claiming he had dissociative identity disorder and blaming the entire affair on his gay alter ego. Then he wrote a sad rap begging his fiancé to get back with him.

But the most insane part of all of this is that, since guy 1 AND guy 2 were both 17 when the explicit pic was posted on “[redacted]hstea,” the POLICE got involved. Guy 1 was investigated on CHILD PORNOGRAPHY charges for a picture of him getting his own dick sucked by a peer, as was guy 2, AS WAS the person running the tea account.

(This tea account had ruined lives, so when her identity was revealed, she literally transferred schools within like a week. Or maybe she’s in jail idk)

The charges were dropped and the boys were let off with a warning, because like. From a legal standpoint, who cares, but we All had to go to an internet safety assembly run by cops where they lectured us for two hours about not taking nudies, and EVERYONE was looking at me and my friends, because even though we had nothing to do with it, they KNEW we were affiliated with the defendents, and that was enough for them

Then guy 1 shot out the back window of guy 2’s car, which was the catharsis of the whole event, and it effectively blew over within another month or two.

Our group was split in half by loyalty (we joked and said guy 2 and his fiancé were like our divorcing parents), and I did not see those two in a room together for SEVERAL months, but then there was one weekend in like February that we all got together like old times (except for the fiancé who had moved on to a better man, as she should), and we were talking about going to a party with some of guy 2’s football friends, and guy 1 was like “I’m not gonna do that. You know what they say about me.”

And guy 2 tucked guy 1’s hair behind his ear and said with ZERO hesitation, “But you know I won’t let anything happen to you.”

This is a completely benign interaction, but imagine being me, witnessing this after 8 months of general social hell, child pornography charges, ruined friendships, Megan is missing assemblies, THE most dramatic breakup I’ve ever seen in my life and subsequent SoundCloud raps, shot out car windows, and a fake DID diagnosis, ALL because guy 2 wanted to avoid allegations of gay behavior. For WHAT.

Anyway coronavirus happened and idk what’s going on with them now and I don’t care but that’s my villain origin story

[yibuo]

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[littlebabycrybtch]

internet pleading session number 2 billion;;; for the love of god stop allowing ableism. stop leaving disability and mental illness allyship out of your activism. im dealing with this shit EVERY SINGLE day and so much of it is just inexcusable laziness and selfishness on the part of ignorant self proclaimed activists like. holy shit it is getting so. Unbearably fucking bad. i dont understand how ppl in modern day are letting it get this bad. its never been Good obviously but its like,,, we were being included in activism topics for a while and gaining a lot of traction with everybody else when all of a sudden smth happened (cringe culture) ((aka the normalization of validating whiny unnecessary judgments)) and we got totally left behind and ppl even turned on us. wtf like?? whats wrong with us when was there a meeting where yall unanimously decided we’re being kicked out of the ‘caring abt this groups Oppression’ board like. a lot of yall CONTRIBUTE TO IT? what right do you feel you have to act this way to us?????? holy shit stop abandoning us please im begging this shit is too hard to deal with like stop idk what on gods green fucking earth we are actually doing to you to make yall turn on us like htis and leave us and our oppression at Your Hands completely out of your mind but im tired of the utter disrespect and disregard for what i deal with. i fucking hate it here like jkshdfjksdf yall its hell enough to just Be autistic and/or psychotic .... its almost unfathomably cruel to just. be SO hateful abt that and not give a shit. idc if its weird or makes you uncomfortable bitch ur grown get over it!! im the one dealing with it firsthand!!!! ive had too many crying meltdowns asking why i was ‘made like this’, wondering what kind of punishment im going through to be put somewhere i literally am not meant to be, where every part of how i work is different than most other people, where im told to exist where nothing exists for me and no one will care, just to have everybody talking about ‘progress’ while they let ableism run literally RAMPANT with people saying the r word and making memes out of our severe psychological distress and trauma. 

idc what anybody says about that stupid ass faux offense ‘you cant compare oppressions’ topic anymore bc tbh i NEED YOU , im begging bc i NEED YOU TO HELP ME AND SUPPORT ME for gods sake, and i dont really KNOW how to DO that anymore so like. yes im ‘comparing’ ableism to other shit yall care about, and asking outright why you Presume you get to think we’re different. why our history of forced lifelong imprisonment in asylums, our eugenics and experimentation, our still modern day medical abuse, parental abuse, and social abuse, is Different and Does Not Have To Matter Just Bc You Dont Want It To. if you can call people out for saying other slurs you can call out the r slur! you literally are showing you have the capabilities to do this, but just dont care abt us specifically!! that's FUCKED and you should know it!! if you openly fight back against disrespect towards the minorities you respect, but laugh at or even are part of the people mocking the cringe nd people, you are a self serving piece of shit!! we deserve respect. we deserve basic human respect no matter what, and we deserve more considering how much blood yall allistics and non psychotics have on your hands. i mean for gods sake how is that ignored, how does our shit mean absolutely Nothing to you!!! its one thing to have to deal with it, to be blatantly shown OVER and OVER again how LITTLE people can care, how they cant even BRING themselves to TOLERATE caring... thats whats so damaging. thats the real shit that makes me wish i wasnt me or wasnt here, bc god... i KNOW i cant even SAY smth like that, like ‘i wanna die’ without someone out there reading fighting back a giggle. without expecting an insult. cuz im an embarassing fucking r*tard whos display of feelings is just fucking weird and uncomfortable for people. im a stupid weird ass different ass bitch and no one feels they should have to care abt anything im going through bc im not easy to vibe with. and especially when my pleas for respect are like This, long and ranty and ~irrational~. bro. i try. how. the fuck am i supposed to Stay rational. im being Tormented day in and day out, and left to my own devices by ppl i thought would stay by my side. i feel like im losing my mind dealing with this alone......... so my question is, to all the ppl who call themselves a decent person. where are you hiding from this topic. where on earth ARE you guys lmao fuck

[do-what-the-knight-tells-you]

Elements from the Broadchurch novelization that were of particular interest::

- Ellie is a bit uncomfortable returning to work because her “suit feels strange after three weeks in a bikini and sarong”. You go get it, Ellie. Anyone wanting to write confident-and-body-positive-knows-she’s-got-dem-curves Ellie, here’s your semi-canonical backing. mother of two, rockin’ a bikini. Excellent.

- Although the division of work/responsibility between her and Joe worked for them, Ellie Worries that ppl will “think he is emasculated”, or that he will begin to feel “emasculated”, so while “the other wives are on the phone begging their husbands to come home in time to put the kids to bed, she is virtually throwing him out of the house and into the pub”, really trying to encourage him to hang with the guys or whatever, whenever the opportunity presents itself.

- Hardy is already on the edge when we first see him, talking to the farmer whose tractor has had its gas siphoned. He’s carefully staying away from the edge of the cliff, scared it’s going to induce vertigo and heart palpitations.

- The sections that are a close POV on Hardy have way more detail about the Sandbrook case than was originally clear in S1 (I assume, because the book was published after the bulk of the writing/story construction stuff was finished for S2). For instance, When Hardy is first inspecting Danny’s room, he’s struggling, trying not to think about [Pippa]’s room (she’s not named here, but it’s clear that’s the child he’s referring to). in the midst of this turmoil, he notices the height measurements on danny’s doorframe, and is overcome by the realization that there will never be any more above them. And then there are these heart-wrenching sentences: “For some people, tears dam behind the eyeballs. But when Hardy wants to cry, he has to hold them in using the back of his throat. He sometimes feels it’s the only strong muscle in his body.” yeah, c’mon, just fuck me up.

- Maggie being into women is present from the beginning here! She has a partner, Lil, whom we see/meet several times! First time she is referenced is when Rev. Paul Coates invites Maggie and everyone to that first church service about Danny. She mentions that a predecessor of his made it clear she was unwelcome there, once. He assures her that’s not him, and that she is welcome, and Lil too. She says something like “as it should be, “ and ends the convo without indicating whether or not she will come. Excellent.

- At one point the inside of Ellie’s car is compared to the inside of a bin/trash can, with empty cans and food wrappers strewn about. This further reinforces my theory that Ellie and Alec need each other to balance out their eating habits to something actually healthy. He eats very well, as far as nutrition is concerned, but he just sort of stops eating when there is work to be done. She is going to eat, goddamnit, come hell or high water, but it is plenty likely to be anything from an entire loaf of bread to whatever the vending machine has. It’s a wonder neither of them has died of malnutrition. (she also makes mention that she’s lost weight, in a probably unhealthy way, by the end of the investigation, and has a sudden realization that she’s maybe kind of, turning into Hardy).

- End of Chapter 17, Ellie offers a hand to help Hardy in or out of a boat, he has a realization “unexpectedly painful” that he cannot remember the last time he held a woman’s hand.

- In general the poor bastard really is constantly on the edge of vertigo and panic attacks.

- Reminds me again, whatever did happen with Ellie’s sister??? did we ever see any kind of furtherance or resolution of her gambling issues in the later seasons?

- Oh Shit. “I didn’t take your money.” The money Joe gave Danny, that SOCCO found taped beneath his bed, that was Ellie’s holiday money, and she assumed her sister had stolen it. Shit. What a shitbag.

- One of Hardy’s favorite things about Tess was the ability to come home, throwing last minute ideas and theories at each other, being able to pass idle thoughts back and forth, turn them over, hear them in a new light, and see what they grow into. (incidentally, exactly what he’s developing with Ellie)

- The exchange between Alec and Ellie after SOCCO Brian hits on her is great here as well. She giggles, he asks her why, she figures she needs to share this with someone, and tells him. she thinks “his face froze in another one of his Does-Not-Compute expressions”. So he seems just as weird to her as to us, does a terrible job hiding the awkward nerd within. And she totally thinks it’s cute. Bet me. Goes on to think, after they talk about SOCCO having dirty hands, “ ‘Dirty Brian’, Hardy says, with a playful roll of the ‘R’ ”. They’re totally playing with each other and it’s adorable. “She thinks to herself that it’s the first moment of genuine humor they’ve had between them, so of course she immediately messes it up.” asking about Sandbrook.

- Oh Shit, Jack’s wife shows up at his funeral. hides her identity the entire time, and Spits in Karen-the-reporter’s face before she gets in a car and disappears again.

- Hardy has a panic attack after calling Daisy and giving up for the night. “I can’t do this, Hardy hears himself say, and the words are followed by an agonizing pain, a huge fist squeezing his heart to the bursting point. He staggers back until he hits a wall, and slides helplessly down it. Hardy assumes his childhood comfort position, knees pulled up to his chest, so close that he can rest his chin there. Experience tells him that he can hold this pose for hours and hours. He remains motionless amidst the debris of his investigation until his heart rate returns to its version of normal. By the time he gets up with a low wheeze and click of joints, it is dark outside.”

- Ellie calls Joe to say she’s still stuck at her desk and she’ll be late, on the night Susan Wright is arrested. He says it’s okay, but she can hear in his voice that it is not. (So, is that the last straw? she keeps staying late, it’s clear that this shit is going to drag on forever, and his family and life are NOT going to return to normal, no matter if he keeps getting away with his crime? And this is the window, his only window maybe, where she might be too busy to intercept if he confesses? This is the opportunity to confess to Hardy, and not her?) because very shortly thereafter (and leaving his kids alone and unwatched???) they receive the call from Danny’s mobile, and they catch him out at the cabin... and holy shit, even knowing it’s her (and he must know it’s her), he slams the cabin door open into her face, probably hard enough to beak her nose, and then minutes later shoves her to the ground so hard the reader spends a moment wondering if she’s broken her wrist.

- AND THE FUCKER TENDERLY PICKS GRAVEL OUT OF THE CUTS THAT NIGHT

- (if someone wanted to write an AU, one where he is also injured that night, and his failure to hide that injury tips her off the next day, or that night, and so she is the one to put together the pieces.... and arrest him? god that would be heartbreaking. But perhaps would enable a situ where she doesn’t beat the shit out of him in custody, thereby invalidating his confession, so that shit actually sticks...)

- When Hardy gives the interview to Maggie and Ollie, the book makes it clear that he expects his confession of being cheated on is going to cause them to regard him with pity and shame. He is embarrassed to have been cheated on. He calls himself a cuckold in his head. poor bastard. so confused when they respond with empathy and admiration for him, and disapproval and dismissal toward his wife.

- Happily, an answer to the argument Jack saw, between the Postal worker and Danny. Turns out, the punk had had his truck keyed, and knew Danny on his paper route was one of the only ppl who would have been out and about at the right time of night/morning to have done it. he confronted Danny, and that’s what Jack witnessed. He comes clean to the police towards the end, insists that that is as far as it ever went, and admits that he lied because he was afraid that having had that argument, having had sort-of-a-motive, that would make him a suspect.

- Fuck, I mean, we all know Joe is dangerous, but talking Danny back off the cliff and back into the house consciously with his paramedic voice, with the kind of experience and calm honed over years of professional work... goddamn, so many ways in which he had power over young Danny.

- The moment she believes Joe could have done it. She says it can’t have been him, because the boat was burned while she was away. He would have had to leave the kids alone while he did it, and he would never take that risk. Hardy confirms that he did, that he left them, and Ellie (immediately believes Hardy, btw) finally truly understands that the moral partner she’s been building a family with no longer exists, if he ever did in the first place.

- Hardy briefly considering telling Ellie about Tess, to empathize with her pain and betrayal, and immediately knowing the situations are too different to be useful. being disappointed in himself for having thought it. pulling on every little bit of experience and training he’s ever had to try to get through the conversation.

- Oh shit. the slug trails. the slug. that little bit of symbolism didn’t feel established in the tv series, she just squishes a slug the last time she enters the house. but in the novel, her merry war trying to find the slug is a constant recurring thing, seeing the trails on the carpet, but never able to find it, the thing only coming out when they’re asleep, Joe cleaning up the slug trails after they come back from vacation. Her staring at them in despair as she cries into the carpet one night, over Danny. and then, after Joe has been revealed, she comes home and there the bastard is, big fat slug that’s been lurking in her house all this time, sitting, glistening, in plain sight. and she squishes the hell out of it. And I was so caught up in the story that, even though I BEEN KNEW how it was gonna end, I never picked up on the fucking foreshadowing until that last moment. Am I just dense, or is it just good storytelling? XD

[sweetandsavageautistic]

Hey, I found more. Get ready to lose some more brain cells:

I don't know if this is weird but I find teens and adults with autism are really cute.

Just make autism illegal. Simple. (This isn’t infantilization, but it’s ridiculous).

All the people with autism are so lovely 😊. They see the world around then in a different way. They areinnocent and kind in their heart ❣.

People with autism are so beautiful and adorable. They're parents are heroes

people don't talk about autism as much as they should. people with autism are fucking adorable okay like theye beautifulllllllll i fucking love how theyre so creative and nice and funny and can just light up a room i love them so much stop sleeping on them thanks.

Say hello to Jay. I had the privilege and honor to spend this afternoon with Jay. Jay is a 28-years old young adult with autism. Jay is almost non-verbal and speaks only in short phrases or sentences and is completely and totally dependent on others in his daily living. The look in his eyes and the smile on his face just lights up the whole room. Children and adults with autism display the highest levels of innocence and purity of mankind. They are truly exceptional in every aspect of their lives and they have exceptional parents too. Stay tuned for more news about an upcoming collaboration between Shift to Shine and Autism Sings. How many Hellos would Jay get? Please share, comment and like in order to support Jay and Autism Sings so we can create a better way of living for adults with autism.

Although our son is still a teen and has severe autism, I can imagine that this will be us too. Many children and adult children with disabilities (who I know) are very affectionate and have this innocent love.  ❤

That's freaking sad 😔 to do to ANYONE; especially w/ SPECIAL God GIVEN talents and skills grr; also known as Aspergers disorder 😔. They are very sweet, MOSTY INNOCENT 😇 kids and adults which I know some of them 😳 💥 fr!!

It is evident that you have never in your life interacted with a child or person with special needs, and for that I am sad for you- as you will never know the meaning of true innocence.

"LOVE this book! Captures the humor, personality, innocence, and essence of a character with autism, as well as the concerns of a family dealing with their own issues--grief, adult siblings, responsibilities, assumptions, etc.

Thought-provoking topics and awareness presented in novel form that is a fun read for anyone (not just autism parents). Full disclosure: I am a parent of a young man with autism. I have over 25 years of experience--reading fiction/nonfiction books, newsletters, articles, legislation and science reviews, and watching movies and television episodes depicting characters on the autism spectrum. This novel is, by far, my favorite depiction." --Renata Irving

The beauty in Cameron’s disability is that his innocence remains protected.

All the people with autism are so lovely 😊. They see the world around then in a different way. They areinnocent and kind in their heart ❣.

Honestly I believe children and adults with autism are actually normal because they are innocent and don't really know the craziness of the world they are just pure at heart ✌️

(I’ve shared this next one already, but fuck it. We’re gonna look at it again, cuz why the fuck not?)

Dear families I am begging you to listen to me. Over the last few years I have heard heart breaking stories of our young adults getting into trouble with the law in a variety of ways. The individuals with autism are usually innocent, entrapped or unaware of the situation unfolding. Several of these young adults have served time and families have lost huge amounts of money trying to protect their children from the system.

Here are my recommendations based on these families experiences.

Here is my plea: 1. Get guardianship. You can always give it up later. 2. Teach your child to reach out and use you as a resource. Teach them to ask for help even as adults. 3. Being a helicopter parent is important as we release our adults in the world. There will be a huge transition and we should be actively involved in double checking they are handling life okay and not being taken advantage of or bullied in any way. (NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO!) 4. Be brutally honest about your child’s strengths and weaknesses and put measures in place to help them build those weaknesses up. Set goals and really think about what tools they need and create them. Denial is not your child’s friend. 5. Understand all the technology your child uses and double check it. There are people including law enforcement on social media and playing games who may entrap your child without the child knowing they are doing anything wrong. According to Homeland Security Officer I talked to there is no privacy in any of the technology platforms and every thing is recorded. 6. Make sure to put your child thru the Be Safe Program. Be Safe helps our young adults interact safely with law enforcement. One of the issues discussed is understanding their right to remain silent and their right for an attorney. You have to understand this right to get this right and it needs to be explicitly taught.

We want our individuals with autism to be included in society but society does not always accommodate them and that is ESPECIALLY true of the legal system. I have tried for years to do trainings for courts, so far I have trained people who work within the system excluding the real people needing the training like judges and prosecutors and defense attorneys. Our Be Safe Program has made huge changes in our relationships with law enforcement but the legal system is still a train wreck. So we must be very vigilant and protect our kids!

Autistic people are so innocent and cute i just can't 

RIP Joe Clyde Daniels; It saddens us when you wake up to hear news like this. People with autism are so loving and we can learn a lot from them. Heaven has a new angel.

I wish more people with disabilities such as autism would be given more employment, always happy and helpful. Too many useless able bodied people with no customer service skills

'Atypical' on Netflix makes me want to cry, group of folk laughing at a guy cause he has autism,people with autism are so precious It's horrible how in this age people say autistic as an insult. People can't help autism and people with autism are precious

happy autism awareness acceptance month! ppl with autism are the most precious people ever and we don't deserve them

Always trying to understand how my brother actually feels,People with autism are just as precious as ones without it

'Atypical' on Netflix makes me want to cry, group of folk laughing at a guy cause he has autism,people with autism are so precious

Happy forever children's day to the people having autism.

(But bitch, I’m not done. There’s more, but I’ll wait a bit)

[peachyteabuck]

loving him was red

summary: you’ve never had sex on your period, but when you find yourself heated during aunt flow’s visit while at an event with steve, the perfect opportunity arises for you to try it out.

pairing: steve rogers x reader

words:  2381

trigger warnings: menstruation mention, some graphic descriptions of blood, smut (oral, fingering, vaginal sex), lots of swearing, the lords name in vain a few times

notes/other: HI PLS READ THIS ESP IF YOU NORMALLY DO NOT i based this p heavily on my own experiences with menstruation + other accounts i’ve heard. it is very important to remember that there is never one singular way to experience a period NOR is there a WRONG way!! all ppl who have periods are individuals with intersecting health/economic/work statuses. this has been ur daily menstrual health psa from lukis peachyteabuck.tumblr.com

ask box / masterlist / faq / ko-fi

Pro: you currently look fine as fuck, and are on a date to some Very Important Thing with Captain freaking America.

Con: He’s horny (because you look so hot) and won’t leave you alone about it.

Pro: He’s horny (because you look so hot), and you’re horny (because he looks so hot).

Con: You’re currently on your period. Not only that, but the heaviest day of it is today, meaning your current tampon is acting as a floodgate to the Red Sea. Aunt Flow. Blood Moon. Red Scare. Hellstorm. Bitch in Red. Crimson Tide. Shark Week.

You get the picture.

When he thinks no one’s looking, Steve slides his hands down to your ass. You tense and squeeze your eyes shut.

“Babe, stop,” you hiss through your teeth, but you don’t sound very convincing. A waiter comes by with glasses of champagne and you grab two. You’re gonna need them to get through the next few hours, both because the...whatever you’re at is boring as hell and because all you want to do is jump your boyfriend’s bones.

“Why?” Steve says lowly into your ear. You take another sip of champagne, trying to quell the desire in your stomach. “You look so hot, your tits and ass look so good. Can’t wait to get home and give you all the bruises you want. Can’t wait to make you cum under me. Just wanna fuck you until you can’t remember you own name, until you’re begging me to stop.”

You grab the table in front of you and moan, other patrons be damned.

“Babe,” you whimper. “Stop, seriously.”

He laughs a little. “What? Can’t take the heat, should’ve expected this. In that dress? You know, I can’t tell what’s hotter, you in or you wi-”

You take a large drink from one of the glasses and turn to face him. You use your babysitting voice, the one you use with Peter when he pulls some dumb shit and no one has the courage to shame him. Damn Tony, doesn’t want to grow a spine and discipline Peter for fear of making him hate the man. “Steven Grant Rogers, I am on my period, and unless you want to beat your meat on the couch tonight, I’d recommend you cut it out.”

He’s stunned, a little. You snapping at him is extremely uncommon, you’re normally a total sweetheart with him (Who wouldn’t be?). Steve’s mouth hangs open a little as you turn back to face the crowd.

You engage with the rest of the Avengers who came - Sam, Tony, Pepper, and a few other people who you’d been wanting to talk to. A designer, some singers, a movie producer. You have lively conversations and Steve’s hand stays safely above your waist the whole time.

This time, it feels awkward. Not...sexual, like usual.

Now it’s just supportive, a way to tell you know he’s there. That’s it.

You feel bad, so bad. He was just telling you how attracted he was to you and you literally snapped at him like he was a petulant child! God, what’s wrong with you? Why were you so angry out of nowhere!

Oh, you’re in your period.

Right.

Once you’re too tired to stand in your heels, Steve moves you into the limo that’ll take you back to Stark tower. He holds your hand the entire way back, even carries your heels for you once you make it through the entrance.

He’s so amazing. And sweet. And kind. You want him to rearrange your guts.

You’ve been together long enough that he knows the minute you get into your shared apartment you want your dress unzipped so you can hunch over a take a deep breath. He guesses (correctly) that you need it undone even more so now that you’re bloated. When comes behind you to grab at it, you sigh.

“I’m so sorry for losing my self control earlier this evening...it’s just…”

You turn around, facing him. He looks so sad and you feel like you’ve kicked a puppy. Or stepped on a flower. Or thrown a fire blanket over the sun. Or slammed a baby’s hand in a car door.

In short, you’re a horrible person and all you want to do right now is cry dramatically surrounded by roses and candles. Or maybe while you stress eat banana bread.

“I’m so fucking horny when I’m on my period, and I’ve always just...I know guys find it so gross and frankly, I guess I unders-”

Steve tilts your chin up with his knuckles. It’s a sweet gesture, grounding. You stop talking, enchanted by his beautiful eyes. “I don’t find it gross at all.”

You gulp, remaining silent as he spoke. What?

“Let me fuck you, please. I find you so beautiful, and a natural and healthy body function isn’t going to change that.” The dress slips down your body and he first kisses down your chest, then your stomach, then lands on his knees right in front of your pussy. The dress, with its deep, wide neckline didn’t allow for a bra, so he skips right down to your panties. Menstruating had made your lips extra sensitive, so you told your stylist specifically to give you a simply black cotton panty.

Steve, someone who has seen you in much fancier, much more expensive, and/or much sexier lingerie, doesn’t seem to mind. He still pulls them down with his teeth, and massages your inner thighs. You want to look away so badly, so worried about what he’ll say when he finds the string of your tampon, or if he sees your more pronounced belly due to bloating.

When the panties hit the floor, you want to scream. Why is he doing this? Why does he find you sexy?

“Okay,” you finally get out. You immediately regret your response. Okay!? What was he asking you, what he was getting for dinner? You could at least say please!

You try to breathe, to calm down. But you can’t. You absolutely cannot calm the fuck down.

“Open your legs a little for me, babe,” he whispers. It’s low, calm. The kind of voice you’d use if you’re trying to pet a stray cat on the street. He’s trying to get your heart to stop racing, for your palms stop sweating.

You follow his orders, opening your knees a little bit, attempting to relax your muscles in the process. He coaxes the tampon string down from where you tucked it in, pulling it out slowly.

When he pulls it away, it’s a deep, ugly brown. Not earthy, or some deep coffee-like brown, or a beautiful oak in a desk at Ikea.

It’s gross. Just plain gross.

You wince a little at the sight, and he tosses it into the trash can under your desk.

“Now that we have that out of the way,” he inches his strong hands back up your legs, digging a little into the sore muscles.

Right before they can ghost your clit, you sigh.

“Wait,” you say. Steve hands stop and you close your eyes.

You can’t look at him, you’re so embarrassed.

But you want to do this, and you want to feel good while it happens. “Lean me against a wall, it feels better on my lower back if I have something to lean against...also I’m really sensitive right now, so going slow would be appreciated.”

Steve nods, standing up and pressing you into the closest wall. “Anything else, darling?”

He’s eye-level with you now, and fuck you love him so much.

You shake your head. “No...just, thank you...for this.”

He descends again and smiles. “Anything for you, my love.”

First he circles a thumb around your clit, inserting some of his middle finger into you. It feels so good, especially since you haven’t gotten off at all this week.

You blame it on being too busy, but you know why.

It’s never something you could understand, why you were always so ashamed of being on your period. Maybe it was societal influence, maybe it was because once a kid pulled a tampon out of your purse in high school and called you a she-demon, maybe it was because once your period started while having sex with your most recent ex-boyfriend and he called you a nasty bitch and then broke up with you...while you were both still naked.

Whatever it was, you knew three things:

One, you have the best boyfriend in the world.

Nope, scratch that, the universe.

Two, your boyfriend cares for you a lot and wants you to be happy.

Three, whatever he’s doing is incredibly erotic and you love it.

It’s absolute ecstasy, the way he pumps his fingers in and out of you in rhythm with circles around your clit. You knead your breasts and moan lewdly, and it only drives Steve to work harder.

When you cum, you cum hard. He fucks you through it with his fingers, smiling at the amount of pleasure coursing through your veins.

“Fuck,” you mumble. “That was so good.”

He chuckles. “Glad I could be of service.”

You laugh a little, running your hands through his hair. It’s thick, golden, warm. He’s like the sun.

You bite your lip, preparing to speak.

But he does so before you can. “Want to go to the bed?”

It’s sounds like such an innocent question, but you know better.

You nod, letting out a deep exhale. “Just be warned, changing my center of gravity is gonna...it’s gonna be weird...”

Steve laughs a little again. “Babe, I know what I’m getting into.”

He then picks you up and carries you to the bed. The second he lays you down, you start to feel that familiar feeling you can only describe as a stomach ache, but if it was also a waterfall.

The second you start to look how you feel, Steve becomes concerned.

“You okay?” he asks, eyeing you up and down to look for injury.

You squeeze your eyes together. “Yeah...just feeling weird.”

Steve laughs a little. His hands were stained with your blood, and since he had picked you up, smudged handprints riddled your body. You thought you might be disgusted, or he might be disgusted.

But it was beautiful, art. A painting made with you, by Steve, on you.

A masterpiece.

Steve seems to have the same thought. “Should draw this and sell it to that damned museum we were just at...hang it up for all the world to see just how beautiful you are…”

You think Steve is about to just fuck you, and you’re totally okay with that.

Not expecting to get fucked and then getting fucked is a wonderful surprise, one you welcome.

But then he kisses down your navel again, and lightly licks and nips at your clit.

The minitrations illicit loud and broken moans out of you. Your fingers fly to the back of his head, pulling him impossibly closer to you. His blood-stained hands hold you hips up, keeping them from bucking. It’s good, it’s so good.

He removes one, and begins to fuck his fingers in and out you. It’s good, your clit in his mouth, his fingers in your cunt.

You cum with a cry. If the first time made you see stars, this time you’re able to identify the Big Dipper. Before the orgasm was surprising, almost juvenile. It reminded you of getting fingered on the bleachers, or in a bathroom.

This one makes you feel like an adult. An actual, real life adult woman with actual, real life adult woman desires.

“Fuck,” is all you can muster.

Steve crawls up to you, resting part of his body on your chest, which is still heaving. He places a hand on your hip, his thumb rubbing supportively.

“Was hoping you’d say that,” he says, smiling. God, you want to hit him.

Not in a sexual way, though. Not right now, at least.

You groan a little at his gloating. He looks like a cheshire cat. “Shut up and fuck me, you insolent bastard.”

“Yes ma’am,” he says before positioning himself at your entrance.

Despite his sarcastic nature, he watches you for any sign of discomfort while he slowly enters you. It’s sweet, and sickeningly slow.

You moan, wrapping your legs around his waist to give him a better angle. This is exactly what you needed to make you feel less shitty, some good ole fuckin’ with your exceptionally attractive boyfriend.

By the end, you two are a moaning mess. You finish again, your hand on your clit and Steve kissing your neck. This time, the crystal clear pleasure is gone, and you feel like a giant fuzzy cloud of “holy fucking Jesus H Christ that was amazing.”

While your pussy pulses around him, Steve cums inside you. When he pulls out and collapses next to you, you’re finally clear-headed enough to take in the scene around you.

It looks like you should section off the bed with caution tape. Steve’s dick, hands, and face are absolutely covered in blood, as is the bed.

That’s when it hits you. White sheets. Deep red and brown clumps of your uterine lining. An absolutely perfect but sometimes forgetful boyfriend.

“Steve, babe?” you question, attempting to pry him away from the edge of sleep.

“Mmmrf,” is all he says, face down, head resting between your breasts.

“Did you forget to pull a towel down before we fucked?”

He lifts his head, smile sated. “Maybe.”

You sigh, and let his head fall back down. Finding a way to non-suspiciously change your blood sheets is a problem for tomorrow-you. Right-now-you just wants to run your fingers through Steve’s hair, his light snores filling your room and giving you something to fall asleep to.

“You know I’m gonna make you do this next time, too, right?” You ask, suddenly just as tired as Steve looks.

He nods a little, then turns his head so you can hear him. He kisses your breast before he speaks. “Of course, baby. Would do anything for you, especially when it comes you makin’ love to ya.”

You smile. “Good. Because after that, there’s no way I’m ever letting you go.”

Steve chuckles. “Ditto, babe.”

[softboyholland]

Ok ok I need ABSOLUTELY NEED a petermj celebrity au with t*mdaya teas pls

ok ok headcanon time binches

ok so i decided to go with supermodel!mj and regular ol’ peter parker

except everyone knows that he’s spider-man now

he did the whole reveal a year ago (it was very iron-man like)

and now he stays at the avengers mansion with the rest of the avengers

ok so peter makes a friend in wanda

because she’s young too and she was ROBBED of her childhood and basic societial skills and pop culture because of her powers

so when peter gets over his fear of her, he makes it his personal mission to help her experience being a teenager

(even though they’re all in their early 20s here)

ok so wanda gets a little invested in fashion and makeup

peter knows nothing about that BECAUSE HE’S A NERD

so he begs tony to get him and wanda two seats to a fashion show

of course everyone knows that they’re scarlet witch and spider-man so they’re honored to have two heros present at their fashion show

so they’re at a chanel fashion show in paris and PETER IS BORED OUT OF HIS MIND

he tries to look interested for wanda but i mean sure the clothes look cool??? but what else is he supposed to do??

he’s just very awkward

and everyone seems to know each other and wanda feels a little out of place AND IT’S NOT LIKE HE KNOWS WHO THESE HIGH FASHION PEOPLE ARE

so he can’t exactly introduce them to wanda

but because this fashion show isn’t like any other, they all have tables and they have dinner and everything

the girl next to wanda whom he’s pretty sure has been watching the two of them for the past 10 minutes with the same bored expression on her face sighs overdramatically and turns to wanda

“i’m michelle jones. are you wanda maximoff?”

wanda nods nervously and peter pretends like he isn’t listening in on the conversation

“i love your lipstick. you’re really pulling off the color, especially with that skirt.”

and then michelle is introducing wanda to her stylist and her stylist is complimenting wanda’s outfit and wanda seems genuinely happy it’s so heartwarming to watch.

so michelle hits it off with wanda and peter isn’t as bored anymore because at least wanda’s happy now

when they finally leave the fashion show, peter asks wanda if she had a good time and wanda thanks him

but then she shoots peter a text which is just a number sequence

peter’s like, “are these the codes for some sort of launch?”

and wanda laughs, “that’s michelle’s phone number.”

PETER GETS DEFENSIVE BECAUSE HE DOESN’T NEED HER PHONE NUMBERNO-

and wanda’s all like chill, “she offered to take me shopping tomorrow so you know where to find me, in case you can’t get me.”

peter’s all red now and then wanda jokes, “it could totally mean something else if you want.”

peter groans and ignores her teasing.

it’s really nothing, peter really does not have a crush on mj. he really doesn’t. no like i’m serious you guys.

he only starts like REALLY NOTICING HER when he walks into wanda’s hotel room like after 2 days of minding his own business and working on web formulas

she’s laying on wanda’s bed and they both have facemasks on and bathrobes on and michelle is asking wanda all about being an avenger and “is black widow really THAT badass? i bet she is. i can’t believe you get to see her almost everyday.”

it’s really cute actually

not MICHELLE NO SHE’S NOT CUTE

wanda having a friend is real cute

and then she stops talking when peter walks in and wanda’s like, “hey! i haven’t seen you in days!”

michelle is unusually quiet throughout the whole thing

finally she gets a call

AND THIS MIGHT BE THE SECOND TIME HE REALLY NOTICES HER

because she removes her bathrobe and lets her hair down from it’s messy bun and she’s tugging on her heels and she’s slipping on a trenchcoat over her gymwear???

and she does everything in under a minute and it all happens in slow motion for peter (like in those rom-coms he makes fun of wanda for watching)

she hugs wanda goodbye and tells her that she’ll see her soon and wishes both of them a safe flight

she goes to hug peter but peter goes to shake her hand (HOMEBOY IS STILL A LITTLE STARSTRUCK OK) and they hug all awkwardly and he can literally see michelle cringing for a split second before she leaves

walking LIKE A FUCKING MODEL

SHE’S LITERALLY ONLY JUST IN A HOTEL AND SHE’S WALKING AWAY LIKE A DAMN MODEL

peter feels like, and probably looks like the heart eye emoji

wanda smirks at him and he shrugs it off

there’s some sort of commotion downstairs and there’s literally a whole crowd because of her, “jesus, how famous is she?”

“she’s a supermodel, peter.”

“WHAT?”

“she’s a supermodel, an activist, a fashion and feminist icon…” wanda drawls out, watching peter from the corner of her eye.

he looks like he’s about to short-circuit.

when wanda teases him, he claims that he was just shocked he’s never heard of her before.

sure, jan

when they’re back in new york, mj invites wanda over to visit her on the set of her photoshoot

OF COURSE, WANDA BRINGS PETER BECAUSE SEEING HIM GET FLUSTERED/SHOOK OVER MJ’S MODELLING SKILLS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER

ofc she doesn’t tell him that they’re going to visit mj

and then, bam!

and her shoot is literally by the poolside right

so peter thinks, oh wow we’re just going to a fancy hotel with a pool and a really nice view

AND THEN BAM! SHE’S IN THE WATER

AND SHE’S POSING FOR THE CAMERA

AND WANDA LITERALLY GRIPS ONTO PETER’S ARM TO KEEP HIM FROM FALLING

literally, of course

i mean can u imagine

so we’ve been focusing on peter

but LET’S TALK ABOUT MICHELLE

SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT PETER BECAUSE HE’S ALL WANDA EVER TALKS ABOUT

and okayyyyyyy so she did initially think that he was a little cute because he kept on looking around at everyone in the fashion show like a lost, confused, puppy

it was quite hard for her to believe that HE was spider-man

and then she befriends wanda and wanda tells her all about how peter wants her to experience a normal life and he’s the one who got her the tickets to the show and

NOW MICHELLE FINDS OUT THAT HE’S NOT AN ASSHOLE???? THIS IS NOT GOOD.

and so what if she got caught off guard the other day when he walked into wanda’s room, his lab goggles resting on the top of his head, messy brown curls and all

SO HE WAS CUTE OK

FINE HE WAS CUTE

and then now!! wanda brings him to her photoshoot

which she’s totally cool with yep no big deal but now she has the need to look 100x cooler than she already does

IT IS NOT A CRUSH OK

and her photographer is hyping her up

and he’s wearing a very thin, white tee that shows off his muscles and for the first time since she’s met him, she’s like, “hot damn.”

then she’s biting her lip and not-so-subtly ogling him

wanda smirks at her and she looks away

BUT THEN PETER IS JUST.STARING.

HE’S NOT EVEN PANICKY ANYMORE

HE’S JUST. DROOLING.

wanda snaps it

the avengers tease him for days

after the internet does it’s thing and everyone is like ‘get u a man that looks at you the way spider-man looks at something in the far off distance’

and wanda invites michelle to the mansion one day

and mj totally freaks out when she sees black widow AND t’challa

HOLY SHIT

peter’s sparring with natasha when wanda introduces them

AND GOD, IT’S SO CUTE WATCHING HER FREAK OUT OVER SOMETHING

because she usually looks so cool, and calm, and collected

and maybe he does get a teeny bit jealous when mj gushes over black panther being the coolest superhero ever

so from then on, she spends a lot of time w wanda in the common room

AND BOY, IF PETER WASN’T ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS ALL DOLLED UP,,,,Y’ALL KNOW HE’S A FUCKING GONER WHEN HE SEES HER LAUGHING AT WANDA’S COMMENTARY OF A HORRIBLE ROM-COM, with a bare face, in nothing but sweats and a tee

she’s throwing popcorn at wanda and she’s laughing– his heart flutters

ok so NOW HE ADMITS

he may have a thing for her

but she does befriend peter eventually,

after he stops being weird about his crush on her, he does realise that he’s going to have to hangout with her if he wants to hangout with wanda

and then he finds out that she’s really, really funny

like she makes you clutch your stomach because you’re laughing from too much pain kind of funny

and that makes him fall even harder

so they become close too right

and he snapchats ALMOST EVERY INTERACTION WITH HER

she doesn’t have snapchat

so ppl inevitably start shipping them together

because if you add peter on snapchat

sometimes it’s just 4 second videos of michelle laughing uncontrollably

LIKE WITHOUT CONTEXT

thats his whoLE DAMN STORY

then whenever he goes shopping with her and she gets irritated at his fashion choices

you’ll see peter zooming in on michelle with her arms crossed and rolling her eyes at him from the opposite side of the room

IT’S HILARIOUS

BUT THEY ACT LIKE ACTUAL BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND

fans always see them out together

and peter’s always posting shit about her

also, he visits her shoots regularly

unless he’s gtg save the world he’s usually snapchatting michelle going from hot to a dork in 0.5 seconds from behind the camera

and peter totally takes candid photos of her that fill his instagram

at this point, falcon and bucky take to teasing him about his ‘girlfriend’ all the time

IT ALWAYS MAKES HIM GO RED

sometimes they always have little impromptu photoshoots

(if y’all follow cole sprouse, you know he has little impromptu photoshoots with his girlfriend aka lili reinhart all the time and THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THESE DORKS DO)

OOH AND I CAN’T FORGET THEY TOTALLY SHARE CLOTHES ALL THE TIME

like michelle will show up to a shoot wearing a flannel that’s a little too loose on her shoulders, and is way too big for her tiny arm AND EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS WHO IT BELONGS TOO BUT

no one says anything cuz she always gets so damn defensive over it

and PETER TOTALLY STEALS HER HIGH FASHION SHIT

he IS an avenger

that means, attending tony stark’s parties

and michelle always styles him and occasionally lets him borrow her stuff

they never return to her

THEY HAVE THE SAME SIZE FEET

PETER STEALS HER COMFY SHOES ALL THE TIME

IT’S REALLY CUTE BECAUSE HE WEARS IT EVERYWHERE. WITH ANYTHING.

IT’S FUNNY AND DISAPPOINTING

so at this point, everyone literally thinks they’re dating

BUT THE THING IS THAT THEY’RE NOT

because like in every spideychelle fic ever, they’re always too oblivious of their feelings for each other

then one day, they’re literally mobbed by paparazzi

the poor children are literally just watching some nerdy movie that peter wanted to watch together

and everyone’s asking them if they’re dating

WHICH THEY ARE NOT!!!!! SO THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYONE THINKS THEY’RE TOGETHER

its fuckin weird

(lmao no its not)

they keep getting followed by paparazzi

so much so that all the snaps stop

and NOW THERE’S LITERALLY NO TRACE OF THEM HANGING OUT TOGETHER

almost everyone on social media thinks that they’ve broken up

so they meet up in secret

like they literally only hang out at night

she’s either at the compound

or he’s at her penthouse

that’s literally the only way they get to hang out w each other

but because they’re an ass backwards couple,

as the whole internet, thinks that they’re broken up

they kiss one night

and tHEN THEY START DATING

(it happens because peter’s staring at her and she throws a pillow at him and tells him to stop but he doesn’t stop and then they’re kissing)

SO NOW AS EVERYONE THINKS THEY’RE BROKEN UP, THEY’RE OFFICIALLY DATING

so everything is lowkey

and ppl still think they’re broken up

but one day

there’s a paparazzi photo of mj leaving some event

and then fans realise that her lockscreen looks very suspicious

so after zooming,

they realise that it’s literally just a photo of her pet cat and some guy

if only they had better pic quality

but that’s not even what gives them away

what really gives them away is when peter parker who NEVER uses his twitter account accidentally posts a photo of MJ

you can only see half of peter’s face but like ANYONE CAN TELL IT’S HIM

ok and on peter’s chest is a sleeping mj, and you can very clearly see the smirk on peter’s face

IT’S THE CUTEST PHOTO EVER

but by the time he deletes, there are already 2 screenshots and they’re circulating stan twitter ALREADY

when mj finds out about this, she really almost rolls her eyes so hard that they fall out

but it was bound to happen anyway

so tony is forced to increase security around them

but they become everyone’s relationship goals

it’s great

hope u liked it!

[quadratic-shipping]

Kay, new icon is Vriska’s dice cause the gradient was lame, and every Vriska blog halfway to sunday has already had every photo of her face as their icon twice. It also works cause of yknow liking dnd and stuff. one thing I really liked about my last vriska pic one was the negative space made it feel like it popped and I feel like this one has sort of the same thing going for it. Wow, it can be that deep. I’m just rambling cause it’s 3am and yet again I have stayed up this long. I can;t wait til it’s winter again so I can force myself back into a normal sleep schedule. I stayed up all night a couple nights ago, and that gave me one decent night of sleep so I might just try that again tonight. Rest put under the readmore because it’s irrelevant and sleep deprived rambling I wouldn’t dare subject my beautiful followers and browsers to.

While I’m here, posting a late night thing no one will see or interact with; thank god; I was cleaning and I came across one of those neck warmer things that legit just a tube you pull up your face to keep your nose from freezing off because Canada Winters, I never can use them because I always fog up my glasses, and I just wanted to say that Niqabi gals with glasses are so brave? Legit if I had to deal with my glasses fogging up I’d die, I’d rather lose my nose to frostbite than fog them up (like I go outside enough loll) so for them to deal with that everyday is like, legendary. I mean, I guess if you were pretty antisocial you wouldn’t have to deal with it much but still, point totally stands. 

While we’re on the positivity train? Lesbians? y’all really like Vriska HUH? Thank you for interacting, I appreciate, yall are so valid. I’m torn between “You have good taste” jokes and “Yall will just like anything w/ vriska in it” and either way it takes too strong a stance on my own content to feel good about it. Obvs goes the same way for all the NB and Trans ppl interacting, yall are also Excellent and I appreciate yall. Obvs I’m cis so I don’t have any real godtier takes or anything abt. gender, but reading your guyss stuff is excellent please keep making it.

Uh sexuality update; Still labelling as bi, IDK if I really want to date men tho, before I actually and FINALLY get a taste of the other side; please; because I feel like the problem with my relationships re; dudes is just that I can’t just be myself, I’m just 900000% in my own head about it and not even like; trying to be idealized, idk whats going on I just have a hard time connecting w/ them and it’s defo my fault so idk bro. IDK it’s fun to have crushes but dating is BORING from my very limited experience with only guys which is why a gf would be excellent. Or girl aligned partner. I feel like maybe what I’m attracted to is like, femininity, not necessarily femmes or women. IDK bruh it’s weird. doesn’t help I can’t even figure out how to get and keep friends LOLLL it’s 3am. Sorry

Honestly before I started vrisrose posting I felt so useless yknow cause in the vriska circles there are a lot of intelligent people who understand canon better and are overall smarter and better spoken so I just felt like everything I had to say was just old hat and not very interesting. But the thing I like about VrisRose is no one else is talking about it as frequently ( I was searching the tag and my blog came up in the recco’s for blogs up top and I was very happy) so I feel like, hey, this is my niche. That one engineer of useless inventions quote: The best way to become top of your field is to specialize:, I jsut love rarepairs so much! I think it’s such a great way to approach character analysis because no one exists in a vaccum so seeing peoples interactions and what people like is so fun!!!! I say, invalidating all my personal issues lollll

CHARACTER ANALYSIS! FUCK TALKING ABOUT INTERACTIONS OR ACTIONS ON THEIR OWN OR THOUGHTS OR HC’S, I STAND BY MY ONE TAAKO ‘vriska did nothing wrong’ QUOTE; Trying to understand what characters morals, and their opinions on certain things by analyzing their opinions and interactions in canon is 500x more productive seeming to me than other things. Like, say taako’s thoughts about vriska, V and Lucretia are p similar actions wise, and he was pissed at her but that was mostly cause of the personal connections, when it doesn’t affect him Taako doesn’t seem to have any moral objections to any of the icky moral stuff; think robot planet or whatevs where they were gonna genocide the place and lup was like no and that was like the only reason he didn’t I’m pretty sure, I’m not too big brained on taako or adventurezone either so don’t take my word; So I think that Taak’s would be chill with Vriska. Another thing? The Lucretia thing was like, giving up which Taako is not ok with and Vriska thigns were about not giving up so I do legit think he would be totally coool with her, even if she were real, unless obvs she hurt one of the seven bird red robe people and their new friends.

ISN;T THAT SUCH A FUN METHOD OF CHARACTER ANALYSIS? I’m not drunk or in an altered state just tired enthusiastic and with a lot of pent up thoughts. Speaking of which, this song just came on it’s “Slowdance with you” by the Marcus Hedges Trend Orchestra and it is SOOOOO good, it’s on a vrisrezi playlist I put on bc I’m rereading song of the pyre because it was vriska day and it’s super good soo so good. It’s on loop now, legit best

Quick detours before I lay out some more hs thoughts; 

Overwatch:

-Ben “Captainplanet” came out w/ a new article and I LOVE IT so much and I want hhis job so bad I wanna get into stats so much ahhh  please so good it’s giving me a , this is crude but it’s the best way I can phrase it, a math erection. I love math so much <33333333

-The Shock, my faves, are doing well and I’m happy for them! I hope they go 7-0, I believe in them! I’m lying I am so fucking nervous for literally every match they have they’re gonna 2-5 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Why am I so INVESTED? They technically could take first spot but that’s require titan’s to lose every match left and the shock to 7-0, but the thing is I thought that I wanted that but 

-then I watched the titans london match today, and I HATED the thought of titans losing. And losing so hard to other teams too, and I didn’t realize this but I think I do actually kinda like the titans?The thought of them not being a great team makes me sad. I think it’s like I really like them and shock as rivals, yknow, stage one and two, then this upcoming map? If Titans aren’t still Good in this meta it just sorta makes their rivalry not fun. Kismesis vibes is what I’m gonna say cause I’m TRASSSHHHHH pls stop my terrible hands from typing also if I ever saw actual ship stuff I would kill whoever made it. Like I’m not gonna check their socials or anything but if they’ve got a match against most teams I’d probs root for them. The Wolf section today was so funny lollll

-I think I might hate the London Spitfire. I have literally no reason to? I think all the players are good and I like them as people and I would never actively hate on them? But I’m like. Really mean to them in my head. I was so satisfied seeing htem lose to Florida, and Titans like IDK? Also they’re hella overrated so anticlutch jfc. Hate the franchise, love the players if that makes sense. IDK WHYYYYYYYYYYY

-Also I’m gonna miss tomorrows shock match and I’m so scared rip.

Misc: 

-Tripped backwards and somehow upturned my moms glass scale and it fell on my foot, that shit hurted.

-Oh My God I’m Projecting a million different things right now because I feel like this will not have an audience if you see this I’m begging you please don’t interact I’d die of embarassment keep the fact you’ve seen this a secret from me

HS:

-JFC song of the pyre is an excellent fic, I wish it would ever get updated it’s so fucking good guys

-I need to read more vrisrezi long form

-Non-sgrub vrisrezi is best vrisrezi

-My ideal Vrisrezi au would be like HS canon, diverge into non-sgrub and they completely fall out of touch, Killing Eve season 1, then Song of the Pyre. THAT is what I want.

-Killing eve season one and two would be an even BETTER VRISROSE AU AHHHHHH

-I once read a very good trollstuck rose but it was an eri-rose ship so basically what I want is that persons troll rose but paired with vriska. For how much I blog about it I’ve read very little vrisrose fic but almost everything I know comes from this fic. . Oh uh this is not the erirose fic that I read w trollstuck although it does unfortunately have erirose but I can excuse it when the vrisrose is this Excellent

Alright I’ve run out of hyper juice, have a nice night, sorry for posting thisssss

bye