#Go redeem the coupons

[twistedrehabilitationprogram]

Hug armor, get ya hug armor here! Get protection from the friend’s claws as you hug the big fella for just 35 dollars!

// ah the sight of capitalism, taking opportunity from everyone's desire to hug that dang craft. XD //

[casketvamps]

customers will see that every single employee in a department is busy as fuck because of an event going on and still be like "um. no one is paying attention to me?? how dare you? somebody get me a manager"

[yoshistory]

its funny because when i went to get my free meal the people behind the counter messed up and funded me points because they couldn't remove my order when they accidentally added something so they had to like do something and didnt charge my card and restart the order but whatever they did funded my account enough points to get a free side

[muffinlance]

The only one clearly innocent is Fox because he is going to MURDER the brother that beat him to this

sw would have been so much shorter if one clone decided to murder palpatine in his office because. who are they gonna arrest. sadly the suspect looks like 1000+ other men and all of them forgot what they did last friday night

[greelin]

brother i’m going to be honest with you. i don’t give a fuck if he’s “redeemable” or not. what is this, the checkout counter? he’s not a fucking COUPON!!!!!

[woodelf68]

Anyone else remember when orange juice cartons used to be 64 oz. instead of only 52? :(

[kimarisgundam]

Your PCs have matching stickers on your guns?

Come on, you don't let people paste stickers on your guns unless you like them. The rockerboy PC is in love with your PC. Can you stop denying it Kim.

Why do you think our party's Rockerboy likes my Netrunner??? It's not like that. If you were around during our sessions, you would see how badly our characters argue. We are really just best chooms

Our Rockerboy has multiple different outputs. If he likes my character, I've got bad news for him: he already made a very bad impression by being unfaithful >_>

And I didn't ask. I snatched the gun and pasted the sticker. I've got this thing in game where my character collects stickers

Our Rockerboy opened his gonk mouth to make unwanted comments about my sticker hobby, so I retaliated by pasting something on his gun

It's a Mr Puggins sticker 🤣. I have a matching Mr Pugberg sticker on my gun 🤣

^ I love Safe & Sound 🤣. It's such a cute and informative cartoon! Teaches kids important stuff like how you should always keep a gun in every room of the house. And you should always put a gun in your bag too, incase

Plus our Rockerboy makes braindead comments when he watches the cartoon while high. So that's funny too

[hiimcanadia]

Ed and Stede give each other those stupid sex/kiss/hug/etc coupons, and at first they both think it's incredibly silly using them because come on, they're the most physically affectionate couple ever. They'll give each other those things whenever they ask, no "coupon" required.

But then one day, Ed notices that Stede's shoulders are starting to look a little too pink for his liking. But Stede is refusing to come back inside until he's done with his work out in the garden, so Ed marches out with his little coupon book and tells Stede that he is required to come back inside because Ed has a "free cuddle session" coupon to redeem

And maybe a few weeks later Ed is upset about a new project of his not going the way he wanted, and he can't seem to stop dwelling on it, so Stede pulls out a "free sex" coupon and spends the whole afternoon making Ed forget everything that has ever bothered him

Stede worrying that he's not good enough for Ed is met with a "sexy makeout sesh" coupon. Ed worrying that he's unlovable is met with a "BIG hug" coupon. They become less of a silly thing they use even when they know they don't need to, and more of a reminder to each other about how loved and desired they really are- enough that even just a simple hug or kiss or cuddle, something that they can have whenever they ask, feels like the greatest gift in the world

[milkycarnations]

Profiling the Creeps as Someone Who Works in the Service Industry

Basically, as someone who (unfortunately) has been cursed with a job in fast food, here are some things I think the creeps would do. Some of these things piss me off, some are just habits - not good, not bad.

Brian

Pulls through the drive-thru and asks for "his usual".

Always pays in exact change.

Always asks for fresh (insert item with long fry time). He will wait. No, he won't pull around.

Will always do those little surveys on the receipt.

Tim

Has tipped with a cigarette on more than one occasion.

"That'll do me."

"I remember when these were 97 cents!"

The card reader is beeping and he doesn't know where he is.

Toby

Tries to redeem a coupon that expired ten years ago.

Wants to use tap to pay but his car is way too far and he won't help reach the card reader so you just pull that cord as far as you can and hope for the best.

Will ask you what comes in each item in detail just to get the most basic item on the menu.

Paid in 15 counterfeit 1-dollar bills.

Jeff

"Hi, how are you?"

"Give me a number 8."

Asshole.

He wants to leave as much as you want him to.

Does not utter a word at the drive-thru window.

Jack

Refuses to get a drink with ice because mold, unless it's a cafe he can trust.

Orders enough food to send the entire kitchen into a panic.

The type of person to ask for 10 add-shots in their latte.

Insert chain-related joke you've heard eight times today.

Liu

Prefers to sit in the lobby rather than going through drive-thru.

Cannot figure out how to use the kiosk, but he's trying so hard :(.

Always uses his pleases and thank you's because he's a good man.

Demands a receipt.

Nina

Calls you babe the entire time.

Is talking on her phone and no, she won't hang up.

Thinks all coffee shops are like Starbucks and will ask you for an iced caramel macchiato or a Frappuccino.

Just doesn't understand coffee drinks in general, but if you can figure out her taste/order she will tip heavily.

Jane

Way too stressed to be here and not really listening.

Forgets to take that thing she hates off of her food but is too embarrassed to say anything about it.

Pulls her car into the parking lot and eats there because she can't trust herself to eat and drive.

Always asks for way too many extra sauce packets.

Ben

"I'll take a large diet."

"Alright a diet Pepsi :)"

"No, coke"

:(

Takes all of your napkins.

[whales-are-gay]

this... "coupon"... you say will.. go on a "redemption arc"... and in doing so will be "redeemed".. by this..... narrative known as the "barcode scanner"... hrm

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 12

PREVIOUS

If there was one thing no one would ever guess about FF it is that he unapologetically LOVES Black Friday.

You may be thinking. Ugh Black Friday. Everyone is so rude and tired. The deals aren’t even that good. It can turn into a blood sport at the drop of a hat over a toaster that is 15% off.

You are correct.

That is why FF loves it.

It is the one shopping day of the year where every single one of his instincts are correct, valid, and useful. He has pulled his gran out of the way of elbow drops, he has avoided the gaze of a woman in PINK sweat pants who was looking for someone to steal a blender from, and he knows without a doubt that the cashier hates him already so there’s no need to worry about whether or not they hate him.

It’s like a breath of fresh air!

Everyone is just as antagonistic and awful as he thinks they are!

Shopping is actually the blood sport he always feels like it is!

So there he is standing in a line at the nearest store (Target) waiting to be let in with the masses who all look ready to stab one another for better positioning for a TV. The jokes on them though because his only goal is the grocery section and he deals with the threat of repeated stabbings for BREAKFAST.

He spots an IHOP in the distance and hopes his gran doesn’t feel too lonely. They’ve gotten buttermilk stacks together at the IHOP by the mall for years after the two of them finished Christmas Shopping.

Someone elbows him in the side to get his spot in line but FF does not really care. Again, he doubts any of these people are going to be racing him to the all purpose flour.

It’s 4 AM and the barricades come down.

There’s a rush of people pushing and shoving but FF just steps to the side and watches as they all rush in. He’d mostly stayed in the line because the throng of people made it easier to stay warm. He had left his jacket back at the house because the five hour energy might be making his skin feel super sensitive but he is pretty sure that if he wore his nylon jacket he would die.

The five hour energy also may be upping his anxiety just a little bit.

He walks into the store at a leisurely pace and while the crowd fights over the carts he grabs one of the baskets. He can feel the eyes of other shoppers all wondering if he has some insider knowledge on a good deal that would only require the basket or if it’s a matter of who gets to the back to receive the ‘redeem’ coupon.

He sees a few shoppers get lured in by his siren call and much like a siren following anything that FF is about to do will undoubtedly lead to their downfall.

But FF doesn’t care about that.

He cares about HIS downfall.

So he makes his way to the grocery section and ignores the six different shopping assistants who try and guide him to where he ‘should’ be shopping and each of them only give him increasingly confused looks when he states his intention to go to the grocery section every single time.

Is it easier to ignore their stares when the five hour energy have set his baseline heart rate to something that might be too fast to register as a heartbeat? Maybe.

It is easier to ignore the confusion on their faces when he can see both the past (he asked for TWO favors from Andrew in one day how is he still alive???) and the future (still malleable at the moment apparently. There’s even a future where Andrew actually just is trying to make overtures of friendship but he dismisses that one as INCREDIBLY unlikely and looks at the far more viable one where Andrew at least makes his death quick while he enjoys his great gran’s brownies.)

It’s good to set reasonable goals for yourself.

So he arrives at the grocery section which is deserted aside from one employee who may or may not be asleep against a shelf. FF looks and….not a shelf he needs so he is not about to wake that poor man up.

So he gets everything he needs for his great gran’s brownies (he’s trying to buy his life here so he is not about to assume he can use ANYTHING in the house), the ingredients for a good breakfast (because he really needs to eat something that is not a five hour energy or sugar for the sake of his poor stomach and he may as well get enough for everyone), and (since Captain Neil mentioned it & he is trying to buy his life here) the ingredients to bake another pie.

While he grabs cinnamon he checks to see if they have grandma’s love in stock but, alas, it continues to be unavailable commercially.

He stares at the whipped cream for so long that the employee asleep in the other aisle woke up and asked if he needed help and, startled, he dropped it in his basket. “No I’m good.” He says before power walking out of the grocery department and deciding to brave the Home Goods section to buy some incense so that he can hopefully channel the spirit of his great gran to assist him in this, the darkest of his baking hours.

He arrives at the check out stations and finds the shortest line .

He can feel eyes on him, inspecting his purchases, judging them, judging him, who the fuck goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush?

FF.

FF goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush.

The cashier looks for hidden cameras but FF has no such thing accompanying him today or ever (as far as he knows.)

After a moment the cashier must look at the ever growing line and decide that whatever scheme they think FF is up to isn’t worth trying to figure out. They offer a membership card, FF valiantly declines to get one despite the two attempts.

He is out the door with four bags of groceries that all have a target on them that feels a little too correct. It’s 6 AM now (he really did lose a lot of time at the whipped cream section) and he’s walking back to the house in Columbia.

He actually feels a little bit better since he at least got to experience his actual favorite blood sport (sorry Exy) and he even got another 2 five hour energies while he was in the check out line so he could replace some of the ones that he had gone through.

“Smith?”

He would like to thank the combined weight of the groceries for keeping his feet on the ground when he heard Captain Neil’s voice.

He turns and Captain Neil is looking at him wide-eyed in his running gear that Smith has seen him in. “You were shopping??” He asks.

FF nods and lifts up the four bags as evidence. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” He asks.

FF almost scoffs but he doesn’t, “You can’t be distracted when you’re in a Target on Black Friday. That’s how you take an elbow to the eye.” He responds because it’s like Captain Neil has never experienced the WWE-like environment of Black Friday shopping.

Captain Neil blinks at him.

“Text Andrew or me next time you’re going to go off into the night or just let us know beforehand. Andrew would have driven you.” Captain Neil says and grabs two of the bags out of FF’s hand. “C’mon let’s get back and maybe you can get some sleep.” Captain Neil sighs.

“I’m fine.” FF adjusts the bags so he has one in each hand.

Captain Neil does not say anything so FF assumes that he has accepted that.

***

FF had not been asleep on the couch when Neil had walked through the living room. Neil, in a move that had Andrew fully waking up, went back to the room to check his phone to see if FF had texted him an update on going out. All that greets Neil is the impersonal series of texts that mostly confirmed when practice times had been changed, when the bus was leaving, and spelling on various Spanish words.

FF isn’t a big text person.

He’s more of an in-person kind of friend.

Neil likes that about him most of the time.

“What.” Andrew asks face still half buried in Neil’s pillow.

“Smith isn’t on the couch.”

That has Andrew getting up despite the early hour and their activities the night before. Neil watches as Andrew grabs his own phone to scroll through but seems to come up with the same lack of communication that Neil does.

Andrew does do the extra step and hit the call button.

But all he gets is the confirmation that the VM has not been configured that has greeted them every time FF misses their calls. (Voicemails make FF anxious so when he got his new phone he just…never configured it.)

Neil knew that FF was not pleased with them and somehow the calm request to either stop fooling around or let him out had hit him and Andrew harder than any of the screaming demands that the two of them were usually met with from Nicky, Kevin, Aaron, or any of the other Foxes.

“You said he wasn’t mad.” Neil says.

“He nodded.” Andrew confirms.

“Maybe he went on a walk?” Neil tries as they come out to the living room. They look at the front door and find that it’s locked but it looks like Aaron’s keys are gone. “He probably is going to come back if he took Aaron’s keys since Aaron wouldn’t be the one he’d be irritated with.” Neil rationalizes.

“He didn’t bring his jacket.” Andrew says looking at the black jacket still on the hook by the door.

“We can go and see if we spot him.” Neil offers.

Andrew nods and Neil heads out first since Andrew is still in his sleeping clothes and will need some time.

Neil had not expected to find FF walking back to the house with groceries for breakfast and the pie that Neil had mentioned hoping they could bake at the house.

“Is this for the pie?” He asks looking down at what was in the bags he was carrying as the walked back to the house. Neil managed to shoot off a quick text letting Andrew know that it was fine, FF just went grocery shopping.

FF just nods, “Got everything but Grandma’s love.” He says.

FF is a nice guy to brave the stores on a morning like this but FF also looks like he hasn’t slept a wink.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Neil asks.

“I’m fine.” FF repeats.

Neil really is starting to understand his friends’ hatred for the phrase.

They get back to the house and Andrew is sat out in the living room. FF stops and blinks at the sight of him sitting there.

It is a well-known fact that Andrew does not willingly wake up early most days unless he has to. Neil is glad that Andrew has a friend that he’s coming to care about the way Andrew cares about FF.

Andrew gets up and yanks the bags out of FF’s hands. “Go to sleep. Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.” He says with a scowl and walks to the kitchen to put away the groceries FF had bought.

FF just looks at where Andrew had gone uncomprehendingly for a few moments and Neil figures he’s just tired. Neil feels guilty that him and Andrew messing around in the car like that had rendered FF unable to sleep and the two of them had agreed last night that from now on when FF is in the car they can talk all they want but hands stay on the wheel and eyes stay on the road.

FF is plopped down on the couch when Andrew and Neil come out of the kitchen after putting away the groceries (“These are the ingredients for brownies.” Andrew had noted as he put away melting chocolate.) and he’s looking through his flashcards again and not sleeping. He hears Andrew make a disgusted noise next to him and the next thing he knows Andrew is smacking the cards out of FF’s hands.

“Go. To. Sleep.” Andrew enunciates.

FF stares at him, then down at the flashcards. “I don’t think I can.” He says which is better than him lying and saying he wasn’t tired even if the truth had Andrew’s mouth stretch into a thin line that meant he was beating himself up for something.

“Try.” Andrew orders. “Just lay down and close your eyes. Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” He says.

FF blinks but nods turning on the couch and laying down. The blanket is still over on the lazy boy that Neil had set it on the night before and Andrew rolls his eyes before grabbing it and tossing it over FF.

“Thanks.” FF says before closing his eyes.

Neil looks to Andrew who nods and Neil accepts that there’s nothing else to be done for now and heads out on his run.

***

FF can admit that he’s a bit adrift in what Andrew and Captain Neil are doing right now.

He really should go grab another five hour energy because falling asleep IN FRONT of an irritated Andrew Minyard feels like a death sentence but “Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” And having a blanket thrown over him did not feel like a threat even if he can feel Andrew’s eyes watching him.

FF is tired and when he’s tired he tends to make stupid decisions. So FF lets himself drift off to sleep while the man who was likely going to move him to a secondary location sat and watched.

His dreams are not peaceful.

He’s running, can’t escape, an echo of words he should have considered before letting himself drift off and he knows he’s going to DIE.

He wakes up with a start to the smell of bacon, eggs, and hashed browns with Nicky standing over him. “Hey there sleeping beauty! I made you a plate!” He says and hands FF a plate of breakfast that smiles up at him with a bacon mouth, egg eyes, and hashed brown hair.

FF takes the plate and digs in immediately. He needs his strength.

“Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.”

Andrew Minyard was going to hunt him for SPORT.

NEXT

Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES (closed)

Per Your Requests:

@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion​ @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @foxsoulcourt​ @blueleys @adverbialstarlight​ @elia-nna​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @nikodiangel​ @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat​ @hallucinatedjosten​ @satanic-foxhole-court​ @vexingcosmos​ @chalilodimun​

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly? (Cheesecookie whatever you did let me actually select you this time)

[t00thpasteface]

UPDATE 6/16/2024: TABLET IS FUNDED!! Digital commissions will reopen as normal. This page is to remain up as an archive and for possible future reuse.

These will work similarly to my digital commissions, only with a far quicker turnaround time and less emphasis on super fine polishing, hence the seriously slashed prices. LIMIT 3 CHARACTERS for halfbody; LIMIT 2 CHARACTERS for fullbody!

For purchases, questions, examples, and absolutely anything else you may be wondering about:

ADD ME ON DISCORD @ shebbz (preferred method!)

EMAIL ME at toothpaste.commissions@gmail.com

or message me here on Tumblr!

To futher entice you, I'm offering COUPONS! Redeem at checkout to get a discount on any purchase of a halfbody or fullbody:

$2 OFF if i've drawn this character before

$5 OFF for a drawing of a ship i ship

Coupons DO NOT stack; limit one per purchase!

CURRENT SLOTS:

closed for now!

SEE BELOW for what I will/won't draw (same rules as my digital commissions), as well as terms, conditions, and more:

Buyers will receive their artwork privately at full resolution in .PNG format. All commissions are signed and dated.

All commissions will also be posted here on my Tumblr, at a smaller resolution with a prominent additional watermark, after the buyer has received and approved the final piece. The buyer may be tagged in the post, or may choose to remain an anonymous.

Payments will be through PayPal. I will give you my PayPal once I agree to your commission. All payments are due up front in full.

Payment

After being completed, the commissioned artwork will be sent to you, the buyer, in .PNG format through email to ensure a near-lossless file. Alternate delivery methods are available upon request.

You must pay the entire price in advance, but only if we decide to go through with the commission.

Termination

You may cancel the commission at any time and receive a full refund of your payment until the commission is completed and sent. If I have already sent you the completed .PNG file of the commission, you are no longer able to request a refund for any reason. 

I may cancel the commission at any time and fully refund your payment if I feel I am being coerced into drawing something I am uncomfortable with, but I will not cancel a commission without giving several clear warnings first.

Rights

You may use the commission for any personal or educational purposes, including most social media profiles. You may repost the commission to social media or other websites as long as I am credited by clearly linking my Tumblr. You may use the commission for an icon, header, background, etc. on your personal (i.e. not business) social media profile as long as I am credited.

You may not use the commission for business purposes or profit off of it in any way, such as using it on icons/banners/promotional materials on a for-profit social media account (ex. Twitch, Etsy, official business Twitter accounts), uploading it to merchandise printing sites (ex. Redbubble, Cafe Press, TeePublic), tracing/spoofing the design in your own creative works, incorporating it into a larger creative project (ex. a book, game, or comic), etc. You may not license the personal/educational usage rights to third parties. You may not edit or repurpose the commission in any way that supports hate groups, promotes hateful or bigoted ideology, incorporates iconography and/or dogwhistles of hate movements, etc., whether implicitly or explicitly.

I reserve full legal ownership of the commission and I may repost it to any site. I may use, edit, and reproduce the commission for any and all purposes. In the event of a cancelled commission, you forfeit all usage rights for the incomplete assets and may not edit or repurpose them in any way.

By commissioning me you agree to these terms and conditions.

[allgremlinart]

imagine going on this terrible date with this twink who's misogynistic the entire outing and then he redeems it at the end of the night with this risky romantic gesture but then you go in to kiss him and he's weird about it and gives you a coupon and then when you DO actually kiss him its the most awkward and chaste meeting of lip meat ever animated and then he literally runs away into the night. I would kill

[duckprintspress]

Small Business Saturday Deals from Duck Prints Press

The busiest shopping weekend of the year is upon us, and I’m delighted to share (though sorry for adding yet more advertising to your life) that Duck Prints Press is running two big sales this weekend!

Kickstarter Flash Bundle

The Kickstarter campaign for our next anthology, A Truth Universally Acknowledged: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice,” is nearly 85% funded with 6 days left before the end. We’ve still got a bit to go to hit our base goal, though, and we’d love to hit some of our awesome stretch goals to get backers more rewards (without them having to spend a penny more!) and to get our contributors more pay!

To help us reach this goal, we’re offering a bonus flash reward level for new backers and current backers who’d like to upgrade: get A Truth Universally Acknowledged, all our campaign merch, AND e-book and print copies of all seven of our past anthologies, all for one massively discounted price of $290 – a savings of almost $100 over the list prices for these items! (Small print but not small: This level is US-only, and the $290 doesn’t include shipping.)

This is the best price we’ve ever offered for our anthologies! Wondering what Duck Prints Press is all about? This is your moment! Amazing books at an amazing price – now through Monday December 2nd!

Small Business Saturday Coupon

Saturday November 30th is Small Business Saturday, the day to show small and local business you appreciate them – and for us to show we appreciate you by offering great deals! Duck Prints Press has a whole lot of new things now available for the occasion, and we’re running our best sale of the year – 20% your entire (pre-shipping) purchase!

Use coupon code duckysbs01 to save 20% off your purchase, and check out our new shop listings!

Scrap Metal Angel by Nicola Kapron e-book and trade paperback

Scrap Metal Angel two-sided bookmark

Scrap Metal Angel Adrian and Kade poster

Scrap Metal Angel two-postcard set

In Good Company by Nicola Kapron trade paperback

Puppetry by Nina Waters trade paperback

Moongatherer by Willa Blythe trade paperback

Lightbringer by boneturtle trade paperback

Dux Prints Lanyard

Musketeer Dux die-cut sticker

Desire Dux die-cut sticker

Barista Dux die-cut sticker

…and so much more awesome stuff in the Duck Prints Press webstore!

Did you know? People who back our Patreon can get discounts at our shop year-round! $3/month and $5/month backers get a permanent 10% off coupon, backers at the $7/month and $10/month level get 20% off, and backers at the $25/month level get a whopping 30% off purchases from our webstore – the lowest price available – the whole year!

Join Duck Prints Press in shopping small this weekend – by backing our Kickstarter, and/or by visiting our store! And we hope you have a wonderful holiday season.

Coupon small print: Coupon usage and terms apply. Offer valid only on online purchases made between Friday November 29 and Monday December 2. Can be redeemed on US and international orders. Shipping & handling and sales tax do not qualify for discounts. This offer cannot be redeemed for cash or gift cards, cannot be applied to past purchases, and can only be used once per purchaser. May not be combined with other coupons, discounts, offers, or promotions. Void if altered, copied, transferred, auctioned, or sold. Valid for use purchasing in-stock items only. No rain checks issued. Other restrictions may apply. Cash value 1/10 cent USD.

[crescencestudio]

I really want to know what would each LI prefer to get as gifts (definitely not because Fenir's birthday is like more than a month away and I want to be sure for future plans), I kind of guessed they would appreciate anything MC came up with, but is there anything specific they'd like to receive?

U REMEMBER FENIR'S BIRTHDAY?????? ((he's blushing))

🎁 LI's Preferred Gifts

Kayn: i think because they've received so many gifts over the years, they would go crazy over sentimental kind of gifts. so like a locket where they can put a picture of you in it. a perfume/candle that smells like a place you two went to together... things like that!

Druk: likes experience-type gifts. so anything you two can do together or with friends. can be a small trip, a massage, a nice dinner, cooking class, etc. basically anything where you can make some memories!

Fenir: anything related to books/reading. can be an actual book or things that enhance the reading experience, like a comfy blanket or anything that he can use to make notes in his books (cute post-its, highlighter colors, etc.). feel like if kindle's existed in the alaris world, he'd go crazy over one

Etza: they're the type of person who doesn't like to spend money on themself, so i think any elevated, functional gift would go a long way! for example, they would be the type to use the most basic wired headphones and use those forever. so if you got them a really nice pair of headphones, they would be speechless.

Kuna'a: i legit can't think of anything this guy would want yall LFAJISELIFJSELIJ.... this is a man of SIMPLE MEANS... i literally think one of those "i owe you" kind of gifts would be best. like u know those cheesy gifts people give of like "one coupon to redeem a massage from me" and stuff like that? i think he'd go crazy over that.

Aisa: for some reason i feel like aisa would tweak out over something really simple like a bouquet--just like something they're not used to getting. i think as someone who's a bit colder/stronger, they don't typically receive gifts that speak to their softer, feminine side so i could see something like a bouquet making them melt

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

Random-Ass Benny Miller Relationship HCs

And yes, they all involve him being a hot dumb himbo bc I have brainrot and @sofietargaryen is an enabler.

- Benny tries to high-five after sex. He want’s another one after you sigh and actually give one to him. This could go on for minutes, he’ll just keep pointing out “cool things” you did that made his highlight reel

- One day he’d randomly put a gold star sticker on your shirt and when you’d ask what it was for he’d say "for sucking my soul out through my cock last night bc damn, that was— HEY DON'T HIT ME WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! PUT YOUR STICKER BACK ON, BABE C’MON!"

- Benny would proudly announce that the reason you were both late was because y'all were boning and Frankie would be like "THIS IS YOUR GOD-DAUGHTER'S BAPTISM WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU"

- "THIS IS THE LORD'S HOUSE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS"

- (Santi would just be like "no that's a valid excuse boning takes the time it takes")

- Benny would ask for sex coupons (redeem for 10 minutes of letting my hit it from the back, etc) for his birthday and try to redeem them at the most inappropriate times

- "I'm not letting you motorboat me right now" 

"but BABE" 

"WE ARE AT WILL’S REHEARSAL DINNER. YOUR PARENTS ARE RIGHT THERE"

- He’d want to hang out with you while you pee. Good luck trying to close/lock the door to keep him out bc boy will see this as a lock picking challenge and end up ruining your bobby-pins

-Weirdo would try to lace his toes with yours and get so confused/offended when you kick his foot away.

-He’ll try to sext you while you’re in the same room as him.

-He’ll also sext you when you’re mad but he’ll try and appeal to your kinks to make you forgive him.

- “Can we leave, I’m bored.”

“We are on a commercial air flight.”

“So ‘no’, then?”

- You’ll have to become an award winning actor when you both are at a party and he texts you ‘u up?’ or ‘what r u wearing?’ or ‘damn without me?’ like BOY I SWEAR TO GOD I’M TRYING TO TALK TO MY BOSS

-”Are you mad at me?”

“No, what are you talking about?”

“You’re being quiet—”

“WE ARE AT THE MOVIES BENJAMIN TF”