#Glad I got this done before the update came out though :)

[rokeas-finest]

Welcome, Folly.

[sserajeans]

just for a moment

hanni pham x fem! reader

synopsis: you and your co-star are tasked to make a song for your web drama's soundtrack. your co-star happens to be a childhood friend whom you've had history with.

genre + others: lsrfm! reader, idol au, childhood friends to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff, second chance ish?

notes: not requested, PLS READ THE LYRICS IT'LL MATTER!!!!, how i look delaying yail update 😂😂, also yes another hsmtmts inspired oneshot, pics from @/wiotas

"what do we even fucking write about?"

"y/n..."

"sorry..."

how did you get here? glad you asked!

it's the year 2025, and a team of producers at hybe are on the works for a minor project: a web drama promoting support for the lgbtq+.

you've talked about how odd it was to your best friend, and groupmate, yunjin.

"probably good for publicity, girl. like 'make everyone know we're not homophobic!' kinda thing." was all she had to say about it, which was likely true anyways.

you were convinced the casting was done at random honestly, but it was obvious they wanted a mix of groups to garner more attention. and that landed you the lead role with, you guessed it, ms. hanni pham!

why you two when you each had members who fit the actress role better? well, that's where you thought the random part came to play.

filming wasn't much of an issue. you were comfortable with hanni, and you two worked well on and off screen, just as expected considering your history. the director even pointed out your "remarkable chemistry", but she didn't have to know why it was that way.

as a matter of fact, you guys were about to wrap up in a few days. it was a wild past couple of weeks, but it was nice to get to spend more time with hanni again.

i mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like you two cut each other off when you moved to korea, but the talking definitely decreased, and the filming made up for lost time!

now, on one of the last days of filming, your respective managers sat you two in a conference room together, and dropped the news that you'd have to compose a new song just for the web drama's soundtrack.

the task in itself didn't bother you at all, and you were sure it didn't bother hanni too. you two were experienced in songwriting and composing, your names on a couple of song credits to count, so this was actually much easier than acting.

the issue was that you had enough going on for certain... feelings to resurface.

you see, the plot of the web drama hit a little too close to home for you. i mean seriously, childhood friends with feelings for each other, but couldn't take things further due to complications, then having to work together acting in some play.

it sounded a lot like your story.

hell, they even had your character do swimming! the same sport you excelled in back in australia.

the only reason nothing has gotten too awkward on that note yet, was because of your other labelmates being there like boynextdoor's leehan, minji and danielle, even your fellow members kazuha and yunjin.

with them around, you got to reconnect with hanni, but with a couple safe boundaries! now that you two were tasked to work on something alone though? you were scared things were going to be different.

so that's what brought you two here, together, in the music room. hanni seated facing the table with a pen and paper, you on the floor with your guitar in hand.

you were strumming to any chord shape that could come to mind in hopes of finding a melody that you could build off of, and hanni was tapping the end of her pencil on her forehead for any word, lyric, or rhyme that could work.

nothing came.

so engrossed in your respective tasks, the two of you didn't notice a shadow behind the translucent door, so when a knock came, you levitated off the floor for a millisecond, and hanni let out a soft yelp.

"hey you two~"

huh yunjin.

"how are my besties doing!" she came in doing a little dance, first walking over to check on what hanni was writing before landing on the floor beside you.

"we're stuck." you muttered, head against the wall behind you.

"oh... i see." yunjin shrugged her eyebrows in confusion, because she had just came from peeking over at hanni's notebook and was 100% sure she had lines written down.

"well, let's see... you got the genre down that suits the two of you so there's that. romance obviously sells, so there's that too. maybe you guys should try... writing while in character?" yunjin did her best to help the two of you, as the mutual best friend and seasoned singer-songwriter. "or if there's an experience you guys have had before, that would definitely help. real raw emotion ya know?"

"anyways," the eldest huffed and got up from the floor, messing up your hair and hanni's before heading for the door to leave the room. "i gotta get going. you two don't come home too late okay?"

you and hanni nodded before resuming. after a couple minutes, you realized that maybe you two will have to be communicating more if it meant writing a song together.

"hey han, do you have anything written?" hanni froze for a second before turning around on her chair.

truth was she did. she wrote them down specifically as yunjin started telling you two to write based on experiences.

"i... uh... kind of? just a couple lines, i don't know how i feel about them though."

"can i take a look? might help a bit."

"oh yeah... sure..."

there was a hint of hesitance in her voice, but it'd look awfully suspicious if she scratched out lines right before you'd check.

"ah..." the initial reaction was surprise for you, and a million thoughts came racing through your head.

"yeah! it's nothing much... but i figured it was better than nothing...."

"no yeah! for sure! i'm kinda getting the vibe, wait here." you turned around and picked up your guitar from the floor and took a seat beside hanni. "uhm... okay let's try... this?"

you freestyled a riff on your guitar, allowing your fingers to move on its own to play what felt right. it resulted in one of the most simple yet enchanting melodies that seemed perfect for your song's intro.

"hey that sounds perfect! i love it!" hanni cheered and gave you a thumbs up. "okay so... since you're doing your little guitar intro, perhaps we have the first line written in your character's point of view?"

"sure... okay... uhm..." it took you a couple seconds to think of something, or to get in character on the spot. but then you remembered yunjin's advice.

an experience you guys have had before.

"uh... how's this..." you fiddled with your hands as hanni nodded along, telling you to go on with your suggestion. after about half a minute, you had a two-liner with some sort of melody that matched your guitar intro. "i fell in love with the only girl who knows what i'm about."

hanni froze for a second, which didn't go unnoticed by you, but continued nodding along as she wrote down the lines. "i like your voice in this genre."

"oh..." you looked up from your guitar and faced her side profile as she was still facing her notebook. you felt your face warm a little, but not too much for it to gain color. "that's a lot coming from you. i have your lee mujin service episode on loop."

hanni smiled, a sight you'd never get tired of seeing. "a fan, huh? which part's your favorite?" she turned to look at you, a smirk on her face to mask the flustered and proud version of herself having received praise for her work from you of all people.

she continued writing a line underneath yours, a sudden burst of inspiration coming over her.

"probably lucky."

of course it's the song about being in love with your best friend.

she chuckled at your answer. hanni wasn't dense, and she knew you weren't either.

okay maybe you were, just slightly, but you pick up on context clues.

but point is, she knew what that implied, and what everything that came between the two of you the past few weeks could've felt like for you.

but just as she was getting somewhere, her train of thought was interrupted by your "burst of epiphany", as one would call it.

"oh hey, hear this out. i think it sounds like chorus material." you tapped her shoulder and positioned your hands across the frets of your guitar. you sounded a lot happier, more energy than you did earlier in the day as you finally got a feel of what to write and play.

when we're underneath the lights, my heart's no longer broken, for a moment, just for a moment

in that moment, hanni's mind rushed with too many emotions. objectively, the melody was beautiful. your voice made it better, the guitar felt like it had a voice of its own, and the lyrics. god, the lyrics.

she knew for sure you felt what she felt.

the two of you stayed in that music room a couple more hours, discovering a new type of comfort in a person the other has always known. like reading a book you've had forever, and feeling a newfound joy in a character that has always been there.

by the end of the day, you and hanni seemed to have switched roles, your guitar in her hands, and her notebook in yours.

you were finishing up a final copy of the first half of the song along with chords in case you'd forget the sound. there was also a copy of the both of you singing on your respective voice note apps. (which, unbeknownst to you, would be on repeat for hanni later that night.)

"here we go." you sighed, it took a lot of effort trying to make handwriting like yours legible. you've always hated it. teachers back in elementary all throughout high school would always mark your papers low despite almost flawless answers, just for your handwriting.

"i've always liked your handwriting..." hanni muttered as she admired your written work, unknowingly smiling to herself.

"oh.. thanks. i've always hated it."

"i know." hanni looked up at you, observing the sheepish smile on your face. she knew all about why you hated it, and she understood, but to her, it was an art. a part of you. she thought, "that's why i like it."

there was partial truth into that. besides it being a funny add-on to hanni's compliment, it's always been her thing to love stuff about you that you hated, even if it was something as small as handwriting.

back when you two were together (or whatever that was you had back in australia before you left, neither of you stuck a label on it), she'd always talk long speeches about how your handwriting was an art. something so significantly you that you shouldn't change, and that even if you hated it, she'd love it twice as much in place of you.

as you two shared a couple more laughs, a notification popped up on both of your phones. yours first, then hanni's a second later.

a snort accidentally escaped your system as you read the texts. "sorry.. is it yunjin?"

hanni let out the loudest laugh before nodding and exchanging phones with you to read what the older sent to the other. it was the same message in different forms, panicking to get you home before chaewon freaked out and took it out on yunjin, then proceeding to fear minji and her "wrath".

despite laughing at your member's worry, the two of you stood up to pack up, which really didn't take much anyways. you slid your guitar in its case, hanni hid her notebook in her bag.

walking out of the room to the lobby together side by side was probably the most stomach-churning activity of the day. and you literally had to write a love song about each other with each other. but there was something in the way it felt when your hands touched.

as you reached the part of the building where you finally had to part ways, the two of you faced each other. both expecting something, but not quite sure with what they were expecting.

"i.. uh... it was nice to reconnect today." she started off, awfully awkward at it too.

"yeah... it was..." you smiled, hand reaching for the back of your neck to scratch. a nervous habit. "i'll let you know if i think of anything tonight."

"yeah, same here." hanni nodded back, though a pinch of disappointment evident on her face. maybe she was expecting more, or maybe it was too soon. "see you tomorrow?"

"yeah... see ya." you slowly turned around, head racing.

should you say something? should you save it for another time? would it make things awkward tomorrow?

screw it. live in the present, right?

"han... for the record, my heart does still stop when i see you."

[zorrasucia]

"Just sleeping and fucking all day," I AM DEAD!!! and i revived just to BEG you to expand on this please i just love them so much 😭

I'm so glad you liked it, Anon! I came up with something but I'm like 90% sure it's not what you were asking for - I aimed to write more smut and it turned into saccharine fluff somehow. I apologize. Rest assured that the next update for this fic is business as usual, very spicy and contains Carmy finally ******* ****** :)

Teach Me Tonight - Deleted Scene 2.0

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Deleted Scene] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] Deleted Scene: [Part 8]

Reader x Carmy Berzatto (The Bear FX)

Rating: Mature (1k)

Tags: Set sometime after the opening of The Bear, Smut, Virgin!Carmy, Fluff, Miscommunication, Domesticity

"Hey, baby," Carmy mumbled with a smile, rolling over in bed and looking at you with sleepy eyes.

You had padded into the room and leaned over to kiss his neck, waking him up from his third nap of the day. In between, you had fucked - slow and loving, then quick and hard, then a mix of both. You felt tired in the best way - and still somehow you wanted him. But you could wait.

"Shhh. I'm not here for another round," you soothed, moving a lock of hair out of his face. "Got us some pizza," you settled across from him, laying the box between you.

He sat up and ogled you shamelessly. You were wearing jeans and one of his shirts, your nipples showing through the white fabric.

"You're gonna be the death of me," he shook his head and focused on the slice of pizza you handed him instead.

"I mean," you gestured at him, his naked torso and satisfied smirk, "likewise, Carm."

You shared a hungry look while taking a bite of pepperoni. He broke first, looking up at the ceiling, away from you.

"How's it feel?" he asked.

"Mmm?" you nudged his leg with your foot.

"You come like two, three times when I can only do one and be just useless..." he blushed, curiosity tinting his skin. "I was just wondering what that was like, if all women were like that."

You smiled. Sometimes you forgot that he was a virgin before you.

"A lot of women can, uh, come multiple times," you explained. "If it's done properly, if you work for it," you cleared your throat. "Some women can't come at all."

"That sounds, uh-" Carmy struggled.

"Miserable?" you supplied and he nodded. "It can be. But sex isn't always about coming, you know? It's about being close and getting to know each other."

Carmy hummed pensively.

Just now, between one round and the next you had fallen asleep still intertwined, spent, his arms around your waist and his softening cock inside you. It was nice, to be so close with zero expectations of it going anywhere.

"What've you learned about me? With sex, I mean," he asked, his blue eyes wide.

"That you're giving, uh, determined, a fast learner," you pondered for a minute while you chewed. "A bit of a control freak but we knew that from before," he chuckled. "And you think you don't deserve good shit, even though you do."

"Pretty spot on," he let out a shaky breath.

You caressed his calf over the bedsheets. It felt strange to be talking about this but it had been a fucking weird day, and discussing orgasms with Carmy while eating pizza fit right in.

"You're a great fuck, Carm," you said softly. "And that takes patience and care and- I love that you want to make me feel good. I do," his gaze was downward and you reached for his hand. "I just don't want you to think you need to be perfect for me here too, you know? There's no pressure."

Carmy nodded and his eyes met yours, he gave you a soft smile.

"Thanks," he brushed your knuckles with his thumb. Then his smile turned mischievous. "Just to be sure, you do like coming though?" he looked for confirmation, head tilted.

"Yeah," you laughed. "Obviously, yeah," you poked at his side and reached for another slice of pizza. "I'm just saying there's no pressure, okay?"

"Okay," he took a big bite of crust. "You didn't answer my question from before," he prompted, raising his eyebrows. "How does it feel?"

"Uh. Well, you don't know how good it's going to be until you're coming. Sometimes it slows down, becomes softer. Or you get halfway through the next and get stuck there," you shrugged. "Sometimes it builds up, becomes more intense each time-"

"Like the last one?" he asked.

You blushed - the memory of him on top of you, his chain dangling near your mouth, his hands holding your wrists above your head, taking up all your thoughts. He had fucked you through your first orgasm until you saw stars and your moans turned into cries of pleasure.

"Exactly like that," you replied bashfully like it wasn't you that had begged him to keep going and fuck you harder.

"How many have you done?" Carmy asked after a while.

"Huh?"

"How many times you've come in a row?" he repeated, that calculating look back on his face. "What's the max?"

"I don't know, five?" you laughed nervously. "I think you're getting the wrong message from this, Carm."

"No, I know," he shook his head. "I was guessing we could start with all that 'no pressure' thing tomorrow. And I think I still have one more round left in me today, so..."

"What the fuck, Carm?" you giggled.

You covered your face with your hands, hiding how flustered you were.

"I'm serious," he said, amusement still showing in his tone. You finally uncovered your face and looked at him. He was smiling but he wasn't joking. "I don't know how to be calm," he explained. "I don't know how to fucking relax and be normal. I never have. Being with you- That's the closest I've come to that," he said softly. You cupped his face tenderly. "But sometimes it gets so crazy that the only thing I know I can do well is make you feel good. That's why I can be a control freak and competitive and insane..."

You shushed him.

"You're fine, baby," you caressed Carmy's shoulders, scooting closer to him. "I love that you're all those things. I just- You push yourself to the limit. You can hurt yourself trying to make everything perfect," your thumb traced the edge of the dark circles around his eyes - all from early mornings and late nights at The Bear. "I don't want to be that for you - another weight, another thing that needs to be perfect."

"You're not," he whispered. "You've never been that, okay?"

"Okay," you sighed and surged forward to kiss him, his face between your palms.

Even after the kiss was over you stayed there, your forehead on his, and your noses touching.

"So," you said after a while, "how about we finish this," you pointed at the pizza, "and watch a movie?"

You had learned that watching a movie with Carmy was shorthand for a nap on the couch since he was always so fucking tired.

He chuckled against your mouth.

"I think I can manage that," he replied, guiding you by the hand to the living room.

~

[Part 8]

~

@th3h0nkz @faephoria @wadupppp

[muffinrecord]

Current Plans + Musings

I don't plan on playing Exedra to the degree I did for Magia Record, or playing it at all. Because of that, I won't be taking an active role in the community and archiving anything for it. Of course, if Exedra has like amazing gameplay and stories then this is all subject to change, but for now I think I'm done with phone games.

The two youtube channels will stay up and I'll check em periodically to make sure there aren't copyright strikes against the content. I've saved all my raw files, especially for the battle animations, so I can remake them in the future if the music ever becomes a problem for some reason.

Google Drive will stay up until Google rots away. I haven't recorded footage in a long time (as in stories, I do for the character doppels and such), but I'll upload things if they're sent to me.

Magia Union Translations still plans on translating things and making videos, especially leading up to the end, but also for after the game is over for whatever wasn't made in time. I'm not sure what form this will take in the future-- if it'll be manual captions added to the videos or not, but I know it WILL happen.

As for this blog, I'm not going to delete it or anything. However I'm going to be taking a step back. I'd like to say that I'll do liveblogs but I mean... *gestures at blog* I've been saying that for years and the only one I really did successfully was the Oriko one lmao. Ahhh oh well.

I'll have more words later, but it was really fun to be part of a fandom experience like this. I'm excited to work on my own original story projects though and quiet down a bit.

...

When I started this blog, I never expected it to have people actually read it. Or look at it. I just wanted a place to gush about how much fun I was having. I didn't even want to tag the posts with "Magia Record" at first because I was terrified people would be mean at me, haha.

But I'm glad I did. I made so many good friends through this game. I'm glad it existed. And it made me happy to have a place where people cared about what I had to say. Some folks actually got their news from here, can you imagine that? They had notifications turned on for this blog. My god.

Anyways, I'm going to be here for the next two months, and tomorrow I'll start reblogging fan projects and initiatives, plus general news. Maybe this blog will turn into a dumping site for art and fanfic reblogs, who knows. I might watch the remaining stuff and add various thoughts here and there.

Otherwise, you can find me on my main blog @malignmuffin, which only reblogs stuff (I don't talk much if at all there). I have another tumblr blog for my comic, but I think I'll reshare the name once I actually have content you can look at on it. It's pretty bare bones for the moment.

Actually it'll be funny if the end of this game is what makes me finally work on it again. I was in the process of working on it when NA came out, and it totally derailed me. Stopped writing, drawing, just focused on this silly little phone game. Now it's like those five years have gone by and I'm going back to where I started, except I think my lil comic is going to be a bit better than it was before. If I actually make it, that is.

If I ever do actually make my comic and start posting it, I'll be sure to update y'all here. hah

Anyways, thanks for being on this wild ride with me. The memories have been great, and I'm glad I had this experience, even if it had to end.

[instant-delusions]

OH MY GOSH are you a rafayel lover too 😭 i swear, i love him so much! and im happy that l&ds comnunity is growing here that a new ff of raffy is posted everyday when i refresh the tags! im glad u seem enthusiastic to accept requests 😔 my raffy brainrot is so bad i need my fix!

can i request? we know rafayel has some sort of "abandonment issues" and we know where it stems from and how it manifests (where he says mc can do what they want as long as they come back to him or let him know what they're doing 😭) and imagine that mc GENUINELY forgets bc she's tired from all the work as a hunter, and when she meets raffy again, he's quiet and she's trying to prod a word out of him but he won't budge cuz he's hurt 😭 and u can go on from there! aargh i love hurt/comfort so much.

happy valentines!! (in advance) 😔🎊🎂

YES rafa is my babygirl. my muse. my glubglubglub. my everything. HE'S SUPER RELATABLE TOO ??? HELP my abandonment issues are literally the same, I'm almost offended 😭😭💔 tysm for the request & happy early valentinesss 💓💓💓

ʟᴏ$ᴇʀ=ʟ♡ᴠᴇʀ !

rafayel x reader

cw: burn-out like symptoms, wounds/blood, arguing, cursing, hurt & comfort

𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓇼

6:00 a.m., you skimmed over rafayel's last message and told yourself to reply later - of course, as fate does, a super strong wanderer appeared which occupied you for an excruciating, multiple hour long fight. it was night when you returned home, stripping off your uniform and throwing your gun on the kitchen counter. You barely made it to bed, soaking your sheets in a bit of blood before completely passing out.

it was noon when you woke up again and evening when you were done with your report and bandaging your wound. finally, you were able to check your phone, and it doomed on you. rafayel's message stayed unreplied. you scrolled down his other three texts.

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

11am rafa: are u ok?

12am rafa: (y/n), can I come over?

1pm: are u serious? not this again.

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

you furrowed your eyebrows in regret, but exhaled painfully right after. your wound opened again.

you were forced on another, quicker mission that night, but it still left you exhausted, your former wound nagging at you still. once again you came home late, passed out, and woke up around noon. opening your phone, there were no new messages.

quickly, you pressed the call button and were shocked to find the artist wasn't picking up.

𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓇼

5:00 pm y/n: hey, sry rafayel. work has been a lot lately.

5:01 pm y/n: I'm rlly sorry

𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓇼

wincing, you sat down, your heart beating anxiously for some reason. 'what if this is it? I broke his promise. there's no reason for him to stay. it's fair, but I need him around. because...'

because you like him. it's selfish, you want him around although you barely fill his needs. suddenly, a very familiar dark cloud forms in your stomach and you feel depressed. deeming another relationship ruined by your work, you open social media to drown out the silence.

several hours passed until a knock at your door ripped you out your daze. quickly, you got up and open it. "rafayel." you say, his name coming out almost like a sigh of relief before you could register it. he was dressed in his white shirt, and white pants adorned with an intricate silver belt - he looked put together as always. you, on the other hand, were in an oversized tee, messy hair and deep eyebags with chapped lips. "hi." he simply greeted, making his way into your apartment.

you followed him, breathing anxiously at his unreadable aura. "listen, rafayel - I'm sorry, I wanted to reply and text you but.."

"you forgot." he replied, crossing his arms. there was a look of hurt and disappointment in his face. "it's not that simple." you argued, breathing in to continue, but he emotionally cut you off. "it is, though. (y/n), if you'd like me enough, a simple task like keeping me updated would be easy."

"rafayel. I like you, I like you a lot but..." you breathed in deeply, the harshness of his words getting to you enough to make your eyes teary. defeated, you sat down on your couch, burying your face in your hands. "these past days have been a lot, I could barely take care of myself and most of the time I was either fighting, passed out or tending to my wounds..." you trailed off weakly - due to your eyes being covered, you couldn't see rafayel's eyebrows raising in shock at your reaction, his arms slowly sinking.

"I swear if I'd have a normal life, I'd text you regularly, but it's not." slowly, you raise your head to meet his eyes - yours were puffy and red, tears streamed down your face. rafayel stayed silent, waiting for you to continue.

"it'd be selfish of me to wish for you to stick by me while i don't fulfill your needs, i know i'm not a good...friend. I try to do my best, rafa. you mean a lot to me, but i understand if you want to leave. you deserve someone better."

at this point, tears were streaming down your face freely, and soft sobs escaped your throat. rafayel lowered his gaze, afraid he'd sink to his knees and beg for forgiveness instead. after a while, he sat next to you, slowly intertwining his fingers with yours and brushing his thumb across your hand as he watched your body move with your sobs. "(Y/N), there is not a single part of you that is selfish."

gently, he holds your cheek and makes you look at him. his hand remains there as he continues talking.

"rather, it is me who is selfish. i crave your attention and validation, and feel hurt if i don't receive it. i'm sorry for being petty, i should've come over sooner. and..."

rafayel moves his hand to wipe away your tears and softly kisses your forehead, he smiles as he hears you breathe out softly.

"i could never bring it over my heart to part from you."

you gaze into his rich, magenta eyes and feel your heartstrings pull towards him. it's as if there were a bridge between your chests. closing your eyes, you feel your love for him blooming in the valleys of your bloodstream and bubbling out of your skin, and it weirdly feels as old as millenia, as if you'd known this love all your life, and all the lives you lived before.

"i'm glad." you smiled wobbly, "i feel the same." with a sigh, you leaned your head on his shoulder and let your body relax.

"i dunno how to feel about you calling us 'friends', though."

[mj-iza-writer]

I’ve been thinking about caretaker saying “you’re not so scary anymore huh?” To non human whumpee being captive or in a lab

The whumpee may not be able to talk but caretaker can notice by their eyes and by their body language that they’ve lost the fighting spirit. So human caretaker starts to let down their guard and finally start taking care of whumpee

Anyways i love your writing so much❤️

I know I say this a lot, but this one was a fun one. Thankyou so much forbthe ask, and I'm glad you enjoy my writing.

Lab Whump.... again. I'm sorry it's such a fun trope. You can literally do anything you want. -MJ

Caretaker sat in their office looking over notes from a recent transfer to their lab.

The monster came from a lab a few cities over. It had to be closed due to malpractice, Caretaker's lab was the only lab trusted to take on the beast.

The more Caretaker read, and the louder the banging down the hall occurred, the more Caretaker regretted taking that thing in.

The vehicle it was transferred in had to be retired because of the welts that the monster had caused.

"I don't understand why they didn't tranquilize it before the transfer. Less headache and stress for everyone", Caretaker stood to leave their office, "I guess that's why they closed for malpractice. Absolute idiots", Caretaker sighed.

Caretaker walked past the door of the room they had contained the monster in. A type of quarantine until their room was finished.

"I hope that gets done soon. This door might not hold", Caretaker ran their finger along the welts, "that is reinforced steel."

Caretaker walked into the viewing room, and had the guards pull up the video feed.

"Oh, they've stopped banging", Caretaker watched the footage, "they must have gotten tired."

The guards nodded.

"What is its name again?", a guard turned.

"Uhm, Whumpee", Caretaker frowned, "I might try to sneak it some food while it's tired."

"You're going to feed them", another guard looked at them in shock.

"Yes, can't let them starve. They're here to be taken care of", Caretaker turned, "from what the notes say, they have been subjected to many test and abuse. They're probably terrified that the same will happen here. Maybe they will become more manageable if we get them comfortable here and with us."

Caretaker quietly opened the door to the cell and tiptoed to a table to set the meal down.

They saw that the creature was asleep and, against their better judgment, carefully walked toward them.

'I've not gotten a close look at you yet', they thought to themself, 'I don't even know what I'm working with here.'

Whumpee opened their eyes and looked right at Caretaker.

"Crap", Caretaker gulped.

They both stared at each other for a few seconds before Caretaker tried to walk backward to get away.

Whumpee was quick to get up and chase Caretaker.

Guards quickly opened the door, providing an exit for Caretaker.

Caretaker didn't escape unscathed, though. Whumpee managed to claw at their back before they got out.

"What would you like to do with them?", the guard slammed the door closed and frowned as Whumpee started to claw and bang, "we can't just let them do that."

"Absolutely nothing. I startled them, and they reacted. I should have not gotten that close, I knew that while I was doing it", Caretaker sighed, "I think I need med."

"They tore through your lab coat and shirt. You have four deep cuts down your back", a guard started to follow Caretaker to medbay, "your bleeding doc."

"Trust me, I am fully aware", Caretaker sighed, "nothing happens to them, but from what I just felt. That room needs to be finished pronto, and we need to make sure it is equipped to handle them."

The guards talked as Whumpee paced throughout the room until they finally found the food. Whumpee seemed to relax once they had a few bites.

"They must have been starving", a guard frowned, "we'll record and update Caretaker once they finish in med."

Caretaker sat impatiently while their cuts were treated with stitches and staples.

"That beast may be better off being put down. This is insane", the doctor frowned.

"I have considered putting in the request, but it just doesn't seem fair to do it to them. They went through a lot of things at the last place. I would love to give them a better quality of life here", Caretaker sighed.

"Well, you need to think about yourself too... if the guards hadn't been there, you could have gotten hurt or even worse", the doctor tied the last knot, "consider this their warning to you. They are not to be messed with."

Caretaker nodded, "I'm going to get a new lab coat now."

The guards stormed the room Whumpee was in. Their guns raised, ready to fire.

Whumpee was shot several times with the tranquilizer darts.

"I told you all only three darts maximum. Are we trying to kill them?", Caretaker took their stethoscope out and listened to Whumpee.

"I don't even know what a normal read is for them", Caretaker sighed, "I hope that's normal."

Whumpee's new room was a bigger space for them to move in. It would be separated from the door by metal bars so people could get in and study them closer, but safely.

Everyone groaned as they rolled Whumpee onto a gurney.

"That's solid muscle under the fur", a guard commented as they looked at Caretaker, "you should have helped."

"Yeah, and pop a stitch... do you want the doctor to kill me", Caretaker smirked.

"I would like to weigh them before we get them situated. We really have no information on this one. I need some base levels to work with. Urine and blood would be nice, but I'm not going to push it."

"Uh, do you need a stool sample from them? I think I just stepped in one", someone grunted in disgust.

"I'll come back for it", Caretaker chuckled, "sorry about the shoe. Good luck cleaning it. Can I ask you to wear one of these so you're not dragging feces around the lab", Caretaker handed them a shoe cover.

Whumpee was left inside of their new cell. It was slow for them to come out of their unconsciousness.

"Yes, definitely way too many darts. We definitely shouldn't have used that many. Next time we start with one and add more if needed", Caretaker watched from the cameras.

Whumpee moved around the room to investigate.

"They seem comfortable", Caretaker marveled.

"Maybe they like the openess of the room a bit better. The holding room probably felt cramped. This is a little more roomie", a fellow scientist commented, "they may even realize that this is for them."

"Maybe", Caretaker agreed, "I think I'm going to go sit with them for a while. They do need to get use to our presence, but they also need to learn they are not here to be hurt."

"Just don't do anything dumb. I already know about your back", the scientist smirked.

"Yes sir", Caretaker winked.

Caretaker stopped by a vending machine to get chips and a drink. They missed lunch because of the room change.

Whumpee looked up and growled when Caretaker came in.

"It's okay, I'm not here to hurt you. Just thought you'd like some company", Caretaker was pulling in a chair, "for the sake of my back, I'll be staying on this side of the bars", Caretaker laughed.

Whumpee kept a trained eye on every movement Caretaker made.

'Who is this strange person', Whumpee leaned up against the wall, far away from the stranger. They didn't trust anyone in a lab coat. To many people hurt them while wearing one.

A bag started to rustle, causing Whumpee to back into the wall even more.

"I'm sorry, it's just a bag of food", Caretaker saw how frightened Whumpee was, "just some chips."

Caretaker held a chip up, "see, they're really crunchy", Caretaker tried to talk in a soothing voice.

Whumpee cocked their head to the side and lowered themself to the floor.

"Do you want to try some", Caretaker pulled one out and went to the edge of the bars.

They reached in and flicked the chip toward Whumpee.

Whumpee looked at it for a few seconds, contemplating what to do. They watched Caretaker turn and walk back to the chair.

In that moment, they got up, ran, and grabbed the treat, then back to their spot.

Caretaker had heard them running, and by reflex, they braced themself tonbe attacked again.

Caretaker was quite confused when they heard the chip being munched on.

They turned and saw that Whumpee was looking at them with amusement.

"Oh, you think it's funny, hmm", Caretaker smirked, "do you want more?"

Caretaker reached for the bag of chips and walked back to the bars. They then knelt down.

"You're gonna have to come get them if you do", Caretaker reached another chip through the gate, "let's build some trust between the both of us."

Whumpee looked at the chip, then at Caretaker. They slowly stepped closer and closer, taking constant stops to reassess the situation.

Finally they got close enough and stretched for the offered treat.

They never remembered the other white coat wearers offering snacks. They even finally had constant meals again.

Caretaker smiled while Whumpee munched on the chip.

Whumpee saw another one was offered, they inched even closer and grabbed it.

Caretaker started to reach for another chip when Whumpee reached out of the bars and grabbed the bag.

"Wait", Caretaker tried to grab the bag from them, but they were too late. Whumpee was already at the other side of the room looking at the bag happily.

Caretaker watched as Whumpee studied the bag for a few moments before sticking their giant clawed hand into it.

"Try to dump it into your mouth", Caretaker watched as they struggled.

Whumpee looked at them sadly.

"Like this Whumpee", Caretaker acted as though they were pouring chips into their mouth.

Whumpee still tried to pull chips out of the bag.

They huffed and grunted in frustration.

"Come here, I can help you", Caretaker sighed, "don't worry, you earned those fair and square. I can help feed you."

Whumpee looked at the bag again in defeat before cautiously crawling to Caretaker and handing them the bag.

They looked down shamefully while Caretaker straightened the bag out and started to put chips through the bars.

Whumpee carefully took each chip and munched away. They seemed to be completely relaxed for the first time since arriving.

When the bag was emptied, Caretaker gently folded it a few times before slipping it into their pocket.

Whumpee looked at the pocket longingly before giving a pitiful, doe-eyed look to Caretaker.

"Those were pretty good, hmm?", Caretaker smiled, "we can have more tomorrow. We need to probably set to work on a diet plan for you."

Whumpee looked around the room, then yawned.

"Yeah, are you sleepy?", Caretaker smiled, "you probably are. This has been stressful for you, I'm sure."

Whumpee's eyes connected with Caretaker's again.

"I wonder if you'll let me", Caretaker cautiously slid their hand through the bar and held it their.

Whumpee sniffed it a few times to see if there were any treats left.

Once satisfied that the treats were gone, Whumpee sat back down a few inches from the hand and stared at Caretaker.

"Well, I'm not currently being gnawed, so thats a plus", Caretaker started to pull their hand away but was surprised when Whumpee seemed to follow their hand.

"Did you want me to leave my hand in the...",

Whumpee suddenly nudged into the hand and rubbed their head up and down and side to side.

"Oh", Caretaker smiled in astonishment.

Whumpee rubbed more vigorously when Caretaker shaped their hand to scratch Whumpee's head.

The guards watching the video feed almost jumped from their seats with excitement.

Whumpee stopped and looked at Caretaker with relief.

"I'm sure that felt good. I don't think you have the movement capabilities to reach that spot very well", Caretaker smiled, "do you want more?", they opened their hand again and smiled as Whumpee started to get close.

Whumpee laid down against the bars and looked at Caretaker expectantly and hopeful.

"Oh, you just want all of my attention now", Caretaker started to pet and scratch on Whumpee, "you're not so scary anymore, huh?"

Whumpee sighed in relief and contentment.

After an hour, Caretaker could hear Whumpee snoring. They gave a few soft pats to Whumpee's side as they sat down and started to note what had happened.

They noted several spaces they had felt for observation, and even upon closer inspection, they noted possible growth of horns on Whumpee's head. They grew just above Whumpee's ears.

"What was that?", everyone turned to Caretaker when they walked in.

"An amazing breakthrough", Caretaker grinned, "I couldn't believe it, but they definitely looked relieved. Their are definitely some areas we need to follow up on, but I think we can build trust and get them back to health."

Caretaker went back daily with bags of chips. As they interacted with Whumpee, other scientists and doctors were able to get close looks over the beast.

It wasn't long before proper medicine could be administered.

After weeks, Whumpee seemed to be so much happier. They didn't fight anymore. They became like a lab pet almost.

They could often be found following Caretaker down the halls or sleeping on a bed in Caretaker's office while Caretaker worked.

Normally, an opened bag of chips or other treats was nearby.

Caretaker would always watch over Whumpee now, so happy they didn't change their mind or decide to put them down because of their difficult start together.

This was so much better for everyone involved.

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

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@valravnthefrenchie

[pseudowho]

Hi!! Thanks for the advice. From the way your ask was worded it seems like you've experienced this before too and I'm sorry. Here's an update.

So last night after I sent you the ask I decided to email my professor and ask him if I could get a new lab partner, and he basically said "Well, what did you expect? You're the only girl in a lab full of horny young men. What do you want me to do?"

As that was completely useless, I just complained about it to my boyfriend then got ready and went to my 8 am lab with this guy. As I was walking in, I read your response and decided I was over it.

Today my hair was down when I walked in (I was going to put it up as soon as I put my stuff down) and before I could put it up he came up behind me and grabbed all my hair, gathering it into a ponytail "offering" to do it for me. I loudly told him to stop touching my hair as it was making me uncomfortable and surprisingly he stopped for the rest of the lab.

But when it was over I got my stuff and left and I noticed he was following me. I guess for context there's a few things you should know about me. One, I was born and raised in the city of Chicago, and spent my childhood wandering around the city with friends or my parents and walking my dog by myself.

So needless to say, I have taken self-defense classes and am capable of fighting. I was also pretty scrappy and not afraid to trade blows a lot when I was younger so I do have more experience in fist fights than I probably should. On top of that, I may not be a particularly large or intimidating woman (I'm 5'4" on a good day, and weigh in at around 120-125 pounds. I think that's around 55 kgs and 162 cm). However, I was/have been a gymnast my entire life so I've always been made of pretty much pure muscle.

Okay, back to what happened basically I noticed he was following me, so I turned around and confronted him, asking what he wanted. He started yelling at me about how I made a big deal out of everything and that I had no right to embarrass him like that in front of our peers. When I got annoyed and turned to walk away he grabbed my arm.

While I wish I had reacted a little better, a mixture of my bad temper (I don't get mad easily but I do get mad it's not pretty) and some of my own personal trauma I reacted without thinking and broke his nose.

So yeah. He said he was going to press charges but I told him if he did I would press charges against him for sexual harassment so I'm pretty sure this is resolved and he won't bother me again (hopefully).

As someone who has broken their nose multiple times (a variety of gymnastics related incidents) I hope he gets racoon eyes and his face throbs like a little bitch for a couple of weeks.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that things worked out, and that I'm really grateful for your advice and words of encouragement! I'm sorry your baby was sick and hope they feel better! I've never heard of Darkest Dungeon. What's it about??

Fucking hell, you bloody legend.

He deserves it. This was a predictable escalation of events, and I'm glad we called it. Well done on the exceptional hit.

I would be careful, though. If it is at all possible, make sure you have your location shared with your boyfriend on your phone, let him know when you're walking alone. If possible, make plans to immediately call someone the whole time you're walking alone, he is less likely to attack you if he knows someone is a lovely listening for you. Make sure you send messages to people with this guy's full name, and notation within that he's sexually harassing you and that events have escalated, as this creates an evidence trail.

Make sure you do not have uncovered drinks. Walk with your keys held between your fingers. Remember, in the case of a fight, you can use the inner blade of your thumb to scratch that unnecessary top layer off the surface of his corneas. Instep, groin, eyes, bite, scratch.

I only say this, because being punched on the nose isn't suddenly going to make this man respect you. In a lot of ways, it's going to make him angrier. While I'm happy you fought back, I'm also aware that he is likely stronger than you if it really came down to a fight.

Refer your teacher's email to the correct department at your University. I suspect you're in a STEM course, contextually, and sexual harassment of women and minorities in STEM is absolutely rampant. Your teacher cannot be allowed to get away with that.

Continue making noise. Get louder, and louder, and louder if you need to. If you keep escalating it up and nobody listens, I'm sure the local press will be very interested. Make sure more than one person knows at all points.

Fight the good fight, kiddo.

EDIT: don't worry about me, I'm okay. Darkest Dungeon is a rogue like horror game, where you take a crew of ragtag bandits, plague doctors, highwaymen, crusaders, bounty hunters etc etc. to a dungeon filled with eldritch horrors, and try to clear it out. It's so cool, and harrowing, and I love it.

Proud of you!

Love,

-- Haitch, who would love to make him wish he'd never been born xxx

[andreafmn]

Running in Circles | Chapter 9

Word Count: 3.6K

Summary: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss, and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

A/N: can't believe it's been over a year since I updated this story. It was one of the first I ever posted but quickly got disheartened by it as I tried to follow the show's timeline (which is non-existent, honestly). I'm trying to get through season 6 as fast as I can because I've already written chapters for afterward, but I need to tie it into the show. Honestly considered putting the story on hold but I got the chapter done 😊😊 Also need to go back and edit this story, especially regarding the POV

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As if by divine intervention, (Y/N)’s phone started ringing. The vibrations matched the fluttering of her heart as she prayed that Hotch could have been thinking about her at that moment as well. Maybe then she could trick herself into believing that fate was playing its cards right.

“Hey, baby girl.”

“Derek,” she sighed quietly, trying her best not to voice her disappointment. “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“You mind some company for tonight? I got a bottle of whiskey with our names on it.”

“Know what? After the day we just had, sure.” She looked down at the pan of lasagna and decided if she couldn’t enjoy it with Hotch, she’d enjoy it with a friend. “I’ve got some lasagna going in the oven we can eat.”

“Sounds perfect. I’ll see you in about fifteen minutes.”

After the phone clicked, she decided the most prudent thing would be to send Hotchner a text message thanking him for the food and saying she’d update him on everything tomorrow. After everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, she needed a moment of calm and clarity. A moment with certainty rather than mixed signals and stolen glances. She just needed a moment to breathe.

As any evidence of the day shed from her skin in the shower, a loud knock rang through the house. She quickly stepped out of her bathroom and slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie before she ran down the stairs to be met with Derek already inside the kitchen, digging a fork into the piping hot lasagna, with Spencer staring at our friend as he ate like a maniac.

“You know, if you let it cool down a bit, you can savor the taste,” Reid chuckled.

“I know,” he spoke with a full mouth. “But I wanna get drunk tonight, and I won’t do it on an empty stomach.”

“There’s some garlic bread in the toaster oven if you need something that will soak up the alcohol,” (Y/N) laughed as her two friends came into view in her kitchen. “And it’s good to see you’re putting those emergency keys to good use.”

“Sorry, (Y/N),” Spencer responded quickly. “Derek said you wouldn’t mind. We waited five minutes outside.”

“It’s fine, Reid. But you could’ve checked who was at the door.”

“Well, I didn’t want to overstep,” he shrugged. “It’s not my house after all.”

“Good to know you have boundaries, Reid,” she chuckled. “Not that they stopped either of you from letting yourselves in.”

Derek only grumbled in response, too focused on serving the plates and stuffing his mouth. (Y/N) headed to the front door, unsure of who else could have decided to drop by. And though a part of her wanted it to be Hotchner, she knew better than to live in that delusion. He was back in his home with his son, while she had a house full of friends and him on her mind.

“‘Em,” the woman smiled as she opened the door. “Derek invite you too?”

“As a matter of fact, he did. But I’m guessing he didn’t tell you I was coming over.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t use your emergency key as freely as those two boys.”

“Well, you did say we should feel at home,” Morgan grinned. “I’m just doing what you told me to.”

“First time you follow the rules, Morgan,” Emily teased. “Although I’d rather you guys break into (Y/N)’s house than mine.”

“Geez, thanks, Em,” she chuckled. “You’re lucky there’s enough food and booze to go around. But don’t go too crazy. We still have work tomorrow.”

“As if you’d ever let us go hungry,” Emily laughed. “Your Italian blood would never let you.”

“All I need to know is if there’s anyone else that will show up out of the blue.”

“Not that I know of,” Derek shrugged. “Now open up that bottle, I’m thirsty.”

By the time midnight rolled around, Emily and Derek had gone back home. They had eaten enough and drank enough the exhaustion was making their eyelids flutter. And all of them knew that the longer they stayed, the harder it would be to make it back to their homes. Only Spencer was left, curled up on the sofa, still nursing the same glass of whiskey from the start of the night. His eyes were squeezed shut, a hand over them blocking the overhead light.

“You okay, Spence?” (Y/N) asked as she sat by his head, resting it gently onto her lap. She ran her fingers through his curls, massaging his scalp softly. “You got a migraine?”

“Something like that,” he sighed. “They’ve been going on for a bit, but lately, they’ve been worse. The pain is unbelievable, and it makes me sensitive to everything around me.”

“Have you gone to a doctor? This could be something serious, Spence,” she worried. “I have a friend that might be able to squeeze you in. She’s a neurologist and…”

“I’ve got it handled, (Y/N),” he chuckled softly. “I made an appointment for later in the week. I just have to power through the remaining days with sunglasses and pills.”

As soon as he mentioned the pain, a question popped into (Y/N)’s head that she did not want to ask. It was composed of words that could only bring back horrors from his past and the mistakes he was still paying for to that day. The last thing she wanted was to resurface that horrible period, but she had to know. For his sake, she just had to.

“I haven’t taken Dilaudid,” he said before she could speak. “It hasn’t even crossed my mind.”

“How did you…?”

“You were thinking too loud,” he responded as he grinned slightly, his eyes still closed. “And you’re the only one that still asks.”

“I’m sorry, Spence. I don’t mean to be so pushy, she sighed as she stared at the way her fingers ran through the brown of his hair. “If you don’t want time to ask, just…”

“No. I’m grateful that you do.” His free hand searched for hers, squeezing it softly as he enjoyed the warmth of her skin. “I sometimes feel that the team goes out of their way to pretend that part of my life didn’t happen or that it could never happen again. But it did, and it could. Still, I know I can always count on you to look after me, (Y/N). Even if I’m a couple of years older than you, you always find a way to take care of me.”

“And I always will, Reid. You’re a part of my family, and I take care of my family,” she responded softly. “Do you wanna stay here tonight? If it’s too bad, I don’t want you driving out there in the dark.”

“Honestly? Yeah,” Spencer breathed. “I don’t think I could make it home right now.”

“Alright, then. Why don’t you head on up and take a shower while I prepare you some tea and get you a cold compress for your head?” (Y/N) instructed. “You can take any of the sweats from the guest room, and I’ll fetch you some migraine pills so you can hopefully get some shut-eye tonight.”

“Thanks, Rossi,” the man smiled, finally allowing his eyes to open, finding that she had dimmed all the lights. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“And you’ll never have to find out,” she smiled. “Now, go on upstairs, and I’ll get started on the tea.”

“Fine,” he jokingly whined. “And can you not tell anyone else? I don’t want them worrying about me.”

“I won’t. Just, please keep me updated.”

“Copy that.”

As he disappeared to the second floor, (Y/N) couldn’t help but worry about her friend. Spencer had gone through things that were unimaginable. And though he came out of them with his life, they had slowly started to eat away at him. She knew firsthand just how debilitating anxiety could be to someone’s body, and it concerned her that he was downplaying his symptoms.

She set her kettle to boil as she searched for her own mixture of sleepy-time tea—chamomile, lemongrass, peppermint, and lavender. From her cupboard, she pulled out the purple and blue mug Spencer had always used since he had claimed it was able to keep his tea warm enough to sip slowly. Because apparently it had always been a big concern of his. After placing the tea infuser into the mug, she drizzled a few circles of honey to the bottom and a sprinkle of cinnamon. And once the kettle beeped, she drowned the leaves and the honey in boiling water.

(Y/N) could hear the shower running upstairs as she let the tea seep into the water, and all she could do was worry. Granted, it was something she did every single day of her life. She worried about her father spending all his time in books and his work and not enough on his personal life. She worried about little Jack having to grow up without his mother and a dad who didn’t quite believe he could do a good job as a father. She worried about Hotch, about what he did or didn’t feel. She worried about the team every time they went out on a case. And most importantly, she worried about herself and how she would ever live up to the people around her. Now, she added Spencer’s migraines to the list. If she ever made it to old age without a heart attack, she would have been very surprised.

Walking up the stairs with the mug and the pills, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She balanced the mug on the flat handrail and pulled out the device to see Hotchner’s name lighting up the screen. Her heart hammered against her chest, making her hands tremble with nerves. It was just a phone call., she told herself. He was probably only calling to thank her again.

“Hotch,” she breathed, her voice croaking more than she intended. “Hey.”

“Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No!” she answered quickly. “I was just heading up the stairs. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, you don’t need to worry,” he assured. “It’s just that Jack wanted to say goodnight and thank you.”

“Isn’t it a bit late for him to be up?” (Y/N) smiled. “I mean, it is still a school night.”

“I caved,” Hotch chuckled. She could hear the exhaustion still present in his voice, and all she wanted to do was help him. It was all she could do. To him, she’d always be just a friend, a coworker, his colleague’s daughter. “Please don’t hold it against me.”

“I could never,” the woman laughed. “I would have probably caved too.”

“Well, then, I’ll put you on.”

(Y/N) heard scuffling from the receiver before Jack’s voice came through. “Hi, (Y/N),” he said. “I wanted to say goodnight since we couldn’t say goodbye to you. I had a lot of fun this weekend.”

“Aw, buddy, I’m glad,” she cooed. “I loved having you over. You know you’re welcome any time.”

“Thank you, (Y/N)!” he beamed. “But I gotta go to bed now. I have school tomorrow. So, goodnight!”

“Good night, Jack,” she responded. “Now, why don’t you pass the phone back to your dad.”

“Alright. Bye bye!”

“Bye, Jack,” she chuckled. “I think that kid should be heading off to bed now, Hotch.”

“He is,” Hotchner answered. “I knew he’d want to after saying good night to you. I think my son likes you more than he likes me.”

“Oh, that’s nonsense, Hotch. He only likes that I’m all fun. But he loves you. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“Thanks, (Y/N),” he chuckled softly. “I’ve been saying that a lot lately.”

“Even when you don’t have to,” the woman sighed contentedly. “Now, go on. You have to sleep too. It’s not just Jack that is up past his bedtime.”

“Very funny, (Y/N). Good night.”

“Night, Hotch.”

(Y/N)’s chest wrenched as her heart accelerated, already wishing the days before could repeat themselves so she could wake and know that he was there. But there was no point in deluding herself. The man could not and would not ever see her as anything more than what she already was. Even their job would allow it. Nothing seemed to ever align for something between them to work.

She turned to the left once she reached the top of the stairs and headed to the guest room to leave the steaming mug for Spencer to find after his shower but found him already sitting on the bed drying his hair. “Was that Hotch on the phone?” She nodded in response. “You didn’t tell him about what’s going on with me, right?”

“Of course not, Spence,” she said in a low tone as she set the mug on the nightstand. “It’s not my information to divulge. Unless it becomes life-threatening, I won’t say a thing without your permission.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” she smiled, handing him the pills. “Anything.”

“What do you think these migraines could be?” The pain behind his eyes was more than visible, it was almost palpable. “I just… what if it’s something serious, (Y/N)?”

“Serious like what, Spence?”

“What if I’m starting to lose my mind?” His voice was frail, trembling at the terrifying thought. “You know, my mom…”

“Don’t go there, Spencer. You can’t go there,” the woman insisted. “We won’t speculate until you have an answer from the doctor. So, I’m begging you, don’t go there.”

“I can’t help it, (Y/N). Either there’s something seriously physically wrong with me, or it’s all psychosomatic. Neither is a good option.”

“I know, Spence. I know. But let’s just not jump to conclusions yet. Not until you’ve gone to the doctor, and we get some type of answer. Until then, I don’t want you to think of the worst-case scenario. It’s not gonna do you any good.”

“Fine,” he sighed as his shoulders slumped forward. “Can I ask you something else? Something that is so off-topic you’ll get whiplash.”

“Go ahead, Reid,” she chuckled softly.

“Do you still have feelings for Hotch?”

The question as innocent, no ill-will behind it. But it still made (Y/N)’s breath hitch in her throat. It had been a long time since any of the people they knew mentioned her less-than-secret infatuation with the unit chief, and it made her heart race like the first time he had confronted her about it. “Yeah,” she muttered. “It’s not something that’s going away any time soon.”

“Have you ever thought of dating someone else? It might help you get over him.”

“I might not be ready for that just yet,” she sighed. “I just can’t seem to stop holding onto hope.”

“I understand. Love… it’s hard, huh?”

“It’s one thing we can’t learn from all the books we read,” she smiled sadly. “But that’s enough talk. The pills should start to work soon, and you need to sleep.”

“Thanks, (Y/N),” he smiled as he got under the covers. “Thank you for caring.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that, Spence. Again, you’re family,” she grinned. “I’ll see you in the morning, alright?”

“Yeah. Good night.”

“Good night, Reid.”

The rest of the night, Spencer’s words floated in her head. She could open her dating pool and allow herself a little venture. Hotch wasn’t waiting for her, nor had he shown a smidge of real interest in her. Holding onto him only hurt her in the long run, making it harder for anyone else who wanted to take the place he did not want. But she couldn’t. Not now. Not just yet.

After a couple of days and a two-night case all the way in Miami, Spencer asked (Y/N) to accompany him to the doctor for the reading of his test results. He was jumpier than usual, his legs bouncing at a rapid speed as they waited for his name to be called. He figured with his fingers, picking at the skin on the corners until she placed her hand on top.

“You won’t have any skin left for our next case,” she chuckled. “Don’t start jumping to conclusions, Mr. Genius.”

“I can’t help it,” he worried. “It’s all I can do. I can’t just shut off my brain.”

“Then, tell me something. Something I might not know.”

“Easier said than done,” he snorted. “You know almost as much as I do.”

“Ah, you said almost as much. So, you believe there are things that you know that I don’t.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “Did you know that rubber bands last longer if they’re kept in the fridge? The unusual, lightly cross-linked polymer structure of the rubber used to create them react to the cold differently to what people might expect…”

“Right, the chains heat up when stretched, technically shortening them causing the rubber to contract and eventually snapping at the exothermic change,” she mused. “Cooling them would allow for a bigger stretch and life longevity because the release of energy is slower. Nice fact.”

“See, it’s not as fun with you,” he said with a soft chuckle. “The team would have been asking why I would care about rubber bands. You? You go into a simple explanation of thermodynamics.”

“Well, I ask you for a fun fact. I never said I wouldn’t analyze it.”

As Spencer was about to retort, a nurse came out to call his name, telling him the doctor would see him. He got up onto his feet, smoothing down his pants and taking a steadying breath. But he didn’t seem to do more.

“Do you want me to go with you?” (Y/N) quickly offered.

She was met with a soft smile and a gentle nod before they both headed into the office where Spencer’s worst-case scenario unfolded. The doctor told him there was nothing he could see that was physically wrong with him, the scans and the lab work all came back negative. If there was something happening, it was most likely in his head.

Those were the news Spencer did not want. They terrified him, and he let the doctor know. In his own way. “It’s not—I’m not crazy.”

“Crazy? Dr. Reid, I’m not saying…”

“I have headaches. I have intense sensitivity to light. Because there’s something wrong with me,” he asserted, his words spilling out faster than he could hold them. “Physically, not mentally. It’s not that.”

“That?”

“Listen, doctor, my mother’s a paranoid schizophrenic who’s been institutionalized. So I know very well what mental illness looks like,” Spencer continued. “Maybe even better than you, and it’s not that. It’s not.”

“Reid,” (Y/N) called as the man got up from the exam table and left the doctor with a shocked expression on his face. “I am so sorry, doctor. This topic is just… it’s a little hard for him.”

“There’s not much you can do to help someone who doesn’t want to accept their reality,” the doctor sighed softly. “Can you just see that he finds a way to manage his stress and his emotions? I truly believe this might be one of the biggest reasons for these headaches.”

“I’ll try my best, doctor,” (Y/N) smiled. “Thank you for seeing him.”

“No problem.”

She found Spencer waiting for her in the hall, his sunglasses on his eyes and his arms crossed in front of his chest. They remained in silence until they reached her car, the doctor’s pout evident on his face. She knew he was annoyed she had apologized for his behavior, but she couldn’t leave without at least giving a reason for his outburst.

“It’s not psychosomatic,” he stated. “It just can’t be.”

“Spence, we have one of the most stressful jobs on the planet. Day in and day out we see cases that astound even the most seasoned officers. And we get into the minds of the people that commit these atrocities,” she offered. “Don’t you think there is a possibility that these migraines are your body’s way of telling you that you need to balance yourself out?”

“If it was really the job like you say, all of us would be getting these headaches,” he said angrily. “But I don’t see Morgan or Prentiss doubling over because their brain feels like it wants to escape their skull.”

“Everyone is different, Spence. And I know you don’t need me to tell you this. Stress presents itself differently in everyone. Just because we don’t know how they handle their burdens doesn’t mean they don’t have them,” (Y/N) continued, maintaining the same calm tone as she cooled him down. “All I am saying, Reid, is that it might be psychosomatic, and you need to find new ways to handle your stress because I am certain this is not you going crazy. Or it might be something else, and you’ll need to get a second opinion. But regardless of what the outcome is, you can’t just get angry at your doctor because you don’t like your results, and I’ll be with you every step of the way. We’ll find you a way through this, okay?”

His stance finally softened at her words. His arms fell to his sides, and a soft smile tugged at his lips. “I was kind of an ass back there,” he chuckled. “It’s just frustrating and terrifying all the same time, and I don’t know how to process it all.”

“We take it one day at a time, Reid,” she smiled, taking a hand of his in hers. “You’re not alone in this.”

“It’s sometimes hard to remember that you’re you get than me,” he snickered. “I’m pretty sure you’ve babied everyone on the team at some point.”

“What can I say?” she laughed. “I just wanna make sure every single one of you is okay.”

And that was one thing she knew she would do for as long as they would let her. For now, her main concern was Spencer’s well-being. And she was grateful that it was enough to keep Hotchner out of her head.

Next ->

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[fatuismooches]

SMOOOOCHES!!! hello sweetheart!! ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১

I hope you’ve been well since the last time I came on here!! (little update on my test results: everything came back clean except a few things came back indecisive but nothing to worry about! Chronic illness doesn’t seem to be getting any worse as of right now.) but asides from that here’s a little drabble as I was re-reading a few of my earlier drabbles from last year!

We know fragile!reader despises examinations and having to endure the painful injections every few weeks when Dottore batches up a new medicine. However, what if it backfires completely? Causing fragile!reader to be in an even weaker condition, barely able to move and clinging onto Dottore as tightly as they can. Perhaps running a fever, feeling miserable as they feel as if though their whole body is being pricked by thousands of needles as they shake from their fever. Dottore would try his best to not let his emotions show, but deep down he’s panicking and trying to figure out how he can cancel out the current “medicine” running through their body. To say Dottore feels guilt is an understatement, he knows that any medicine that they take can easily backfire quickly, but he never would’ve thought the symptoms would be so severe. :( once their condition stabilizes I like to think Dottore keeps them close for at least a few days, just to make sure everything is fine. Even if it means they’ll be all clingy to him, he’d rather they be safe and alive rather than induced in a coma once again.

A bit of fluff: I like to think Zandy definitely also tries to cheer you up after the whole ordeal. He’s not sure why you weren’t visiting or reading books to him anymore, other than that “you were busy with Dottore”, is what you had told him. But even the little baby knows you look more weaker (even if it’s been a few days, your condition had still worsened anyways). So perhaps he tries to draw you adorable silly drawings, and also show you his “safe” experiments. (Lest he get a scolding from Zandik or the clones again…)

‘m giving you so many chu chus n cuddles like always smooches hehe gonna make your cheeks all rosy pinky! <33 I hope you have a lovely day n spend it with a smile like always!

-from your dear boo boo bear 🎐 anon! ౨ৎ

HELLO MY DEAR 🎐 ANON!! Ahh I'm so glad your results were okay! I'm so happy for you and for getting through all of this! *hugs you* And I LOVE this brainrot! ❤️ I've always brainrotted about this idea hehe because angst of Dottore failing... teehee.

Dottore, being the skilled scholar he is, never fails to concoct new medications and treatments for you in hopes of creating something that sticks, along with the actual cure. These meds always go through a few rounds of testing, on his experiments of course (as you said before) but sometimes there is only so little that can be done. After all, your body is very different from the average person's. So, there have been times when the things he's given you didn't agree with your body very well, but they were never anything drastic. However, that was until this instance.

Dottore is a confident man. He's smart, he plans ten steps ahead, and things always go exactly as he orchestrated or predicted them to. So that's why he expected nothing different to be with this batch, maybe you'd have a few minor side effects that he'd note and so on, but he expected you to be fine, to then whine about how all of this was so much work, and he'd only hum at your complains to which you'd pout at. In the beginning, you seemed fine. Looked fine, your vitals were fine. But in a matter of minutes, when you got off the operating table, all of that changed, as dizziness and blurriness.

You tried to wave off Dottore's concern, observing your worsened state immediately, but your resistance was futile as your knees buckled, though your husband caught you before you could fall. Your skin was on fire, sapping away your strength as you couldn't even bring your hand up to stop your hacking and coughing. You try to speak but everything hurts far too much for you to muster your words, and you can barely process the muffled voices, footsteps against the floor, and hands running over your body (he must have called a few segments in too.) You pass out soon after, unable to see the blank look on Dottore's face, how his hands don't shake, how he is unfaltering and flawless in his steady work to counteract what he put in his body. Unable to see what only you can see - what he's really feeling underneath everything.

You don't wake up until a few days later, to which Dottore spent trying to figure out where he went wrong constructing this medication. If only he had been more careful, if he had run more tests, perhaps this may not have happened. Perhaps he wouldn't be the cause of your even weaker state. But even when you wake up, you just smile at him, assuring him that you're okay. You'd never blame him. Even though this was all this fault. He despises it sometimes, how you're so kind and forgiving. It's a weakness.

Sure, Dottore has a lot of work to be done, and having you around so much serves as a distraction to his work... but he'll let it slide. Just for a bit. At least it is a reminder to him that you're not permanently sleeping again.

Zandy, despite being left out of the loop many times, mostly due to your insistence that he not be burdened with your own troubles, can still sense something is wrong after a while. Yes, he's a child, but he's a rather smart one. And a very attentive one when it comes to his favorite person, you. He can see how much time you spend for "check-ups" with the segments and Prime now, far more than what it used to be... how you always look exhausted but force yourself to perk up and smile around him, assuring him you'll play with him "next time", even though numerous "next times" have passed. Zandy doesn't know the exact details, but that's okay, he can see what you're going through. So obviously he's going to try and make you smile! In the time he's not with you, he spends it doing all the things you like to do too. Drawing you two together of course, in a happy little house in Sumeru where the two of you play outside together all day with no worries! Maybe he even tried baking by himself to surprise you with something yummy (quickly stopped by a segment before he hurt himself or perhaps blew up the lab.) Maybe the child should take up sewing... maybe he can sew a little Puffttore squish ball for you! Oh, but you always told him to stay away from needles... well, it's okay if you don't find out until after the fact, right?

[yourmomsawh0r3]

crossroads chapter 10: storm

javier pena x pregnant wife female reader

The sky was a murky gray as news of Hurricane William spread through the town. The storm was set to make landfall as a Category 3 hurricane, and the state had declared a state of emergency. Y/N, who had never experienced a hurricane before, felt a sense of dread as she watched the news. Her hand instinctively went to her growing belly, a protective gesture for the life inside her.

Javier, always the rock in times of uncertainty, was outside putting the finishing touches on their storm shutters. He had lived through hurricanes before and knew exactly what needed to be done. With a calm demeanor, he came inside to hand Y/N a list of supplies.

“Lots of water, batteries, non-perishables, deli meat, bread, coloring books to keep Elle occupied, and snacks,” Javier recited as Y/N read over the list.

“Got it,” Y/N nodded, trying to keep her voice steady. Internally, she was panicking, but she didn't want to show it. Not with Elle watching, her curious eyes wide with a mix of excitement and confusion about the coming storm.

The grocery store was a madhouse. Shelves were rapidly emptying, and lines snaked through every aisle. Y/N spent over four and a half hours navigating the crowded store, her anxiety mounting with each passing minute. She finally managed to get everything on Javier’s list and headed home, the car packed with supplies.

As she pulled into the driveway, she saw Javier laying sandbags in front of the garage door and the front door. She got out of the car and approached him, her brow furrowed in concern.

“Is this really all necessary?” she asked, trying to keep her voice light.

Javier straightened up, wiping sweat from his forehead. “Better safe than sorry, my love. We need to be prepared.”

Y/N nodded, though the tight knot in her stomach didn’t ease. She carried the bags inside and began to unpack, keeping up with their normal routine. She started making dinner, the news blaring in the living room with constant updates about the hurricane.

Javier came inside, his strong presence a comfort amidst the chaos. He walked up behind her as she cooked, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the back of her head. “It’s going to be okay, my love,” he murmured.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Elle hummed to herself obliviously while eating her food, her innocence a stark contrast to the tension in the air. The three of them talked about their day, trying to keep things as normal as possible for her sake.

After dinner, Y/N got Elle into the bath and then put her to bed, reading her a story until she fell asleep. Y/N and Javier both took showers, the warm water a brief respite from the day’s stress. During the shower, Javier noticed how tense Y/N was. He massaged her shoulders, his touch gentle and reassuring.

“I’m scared, Javi,” Y/N finally admitted, her voice trembling.

“I know, my love. Me too,” Javier said softly, pulling her close under the warm spray of the shower. “But we’re prepared. We’ll get through this together.”

After the shower, Javier filled the bathtubs with water while Y/N went around the house, closing the blinds and locking the doors. They were doing everything they could to prepare for the storm in the upcoming hours. Finally, they settled on the couch together, holding each other and watching the news.

The news anchor spoke with a somber tone, “God speed, everyone. We will keep you updated as long as we can.” As if on cue, the power went out, plunging the house into darkness for a moment before the generator kicked on, its steady hum a welcome sound.

“I’m so glad we have that generator,” Y/N whispered, her hand gripping Javier’s tightly.

“Me too,” Javier agreed. “Let’s check on Elle.”

The steady hum of the generator filled the house as Y/N peeked into Elle's room. The soft nightlight bathed the room in a warm glow, casting gentle shadows on the walls. Elle was nestled under her blankets, her favorite stuffed animal clutched in her tiny hands, breathing evenly in her sleep. Y/N let out a quiet sigh of relief and gently closed the door.

She turned to find Javier standing in the hallway, his strong silhouette outlined by the dim emergency lighting. He held out a hand to her, his eyes reflecting a mixture of determination and tenderness.

"She's sleeping soundly," Y/N whispered, slipping her hand into his.

"Good," Javier murmured, pulling her close and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Let's go sit down."

They made their way back to the living room, where the flickering television screen continued to display the latest updates on Hurricane William. The rain had started to pick up, tapping rhythmically against the windows and adding a layer of tension to the already stressful situation. Javier pulled Y/N onto the couch, settling her beside him and wrapping a protective arm around her.

"It's going to be okay," he repeated, his voice a soothing balm to her frayed nerves. "We're prepared, and we'll get through this together."

Y/N leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes for a moment as she absorbed the comfort of his presence. "I know," she said softly. "It's just... this is all so new to me. I want to make sure Elle and the baby are safe."

Javier gently squeezed her hand. "I understand. I'm here, and we'll face this together."

They continued to watch the news, the anchor giving updates on the storm's progress. The wind outside grew stronger, howling through the trees and rattling the windows. Suddenly, there was a loud boom from outside, shaking the house.

Y/N's heart leaped into her throat. "What was that?"

Javier was already on his feet, grabbing a flashlight. "Stay here, I'll check it out."

But Y/N was right behind him, grabbing her own flashlight. "I'm not staying here alone."

Together, they braved the 115 mph winds, stepping out into the darkness with their flashlights. The entire street was in a blackout, the roaring sounds of generators filling the air. As they made their way to the front yard, their flashlights revealed the massive oak tree that had stood proudly in their yard. It had snapped in half, barely missing their house.

Javier let out a low whistle. "That was close."

Y/N stared at the fallen tree, her heart pounding. "It could have hit the house..."

"But it didn't," Javier said firmly, his hand on her back. "We're okay."

A loud boom of thunder rumbled through the sky, making Y/N jump. "Let's get back inside."

They hurried back into the house, the storm raging around them. Once inside, they locked the doors and headed to bed, hoping the worst would pass quickly. Despite their exhaustion, neither of them could sleep. The wind howled relentlessly, shaking the house and keeping them on edge.

Y/N woke up first, the first light of dawn peeking through the curtains. She checked on Elle, who was still sound asleep, then headed into the kitchen with her bedhead and made a pot of coffee. The familiar smell was enough to wake Javier, who joined her in the kitchen, looking just as tired.

"Morning," he greeted, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Morning," Y/N replied, leaning against the counter. "I barely slept."

"Me neither," Javier admitted, sipping his coffee. "Let's go see the damage."

They stepped outside, the morning light revealing the extent of the hurricane's destruction. The neighborhood was a mess, with fallen trees, debris scattered everywhere, and some homes damaged by the storm.

Elle, without making a sound, appeared in the doorway, her bedhead just like her mother's. She rubbed her eyes, clutching her blankie in hand. "Daddy, look at the tree!" she exclaimed, amazed as she ran towards the fallen oak.

"Not so fast, squirt," Javier called, quickly scooping her up. "We have to be careful. Don't want you to get hurt."

Elle looked at the tree in awe from the safety of her father's arms. "It's so big!"

"Yeah, it is," Javier said, kissing the top of her head. "But it's okay. We're safe."

Y/N joined them, wrapping an arm around Javier's waist as they surveyed the damage. "We'll get through this," she said softly, looking up at him.

Javier nodded, holding his family close. "Yes, we will. Together."

After a quick breakfast, Javier and Elle set to work picking up the leaves and broken tree limbs from the yard. Y/N insisted on helping, though Javier made her promise not to do any heavy lifting. She agreed, taking on the lighter tasks and trying to keep busy.

As they worked, Elle tried to lighten the mood. “Look at my muscles!” she yelled, flexing her little arms and grinning from ear to ear.

Javier chuckled, giving her an approving nod. “Very impressive, squirt. You’re getting stronger every day.”

Y/N laughed, feeling a warmth spread through her despite the chaos around them. “You’ve got some serious competition, Javi.”

“Seems like it,” Javier said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He turned to Elle, who was beaming with pride. “Just remember, no heavy lifting for you either. We all need to be careful.”

Elle nodded seriously. “Okay, Daddy. I’ll be careful.”

After some time, Y/N found herself getting out of breath. She sat on the steps of the porch, watching Javier and Elle continue to clean up the yard. She took a deep breath, feeling the cool morning air fill her lungs.

“You’re doing great, guys!” Y/N called out, her voice filled with encouragement. “Javi, you’ve got some serious competition with Elle here. Look at those muscles!”

Elle giggled, flexing her arms again. “I’m strong, Mommy!”

“That you are, sweetheart,” Y/N replied, smiling. “And Javier, you’re not too bad yourself. I might have to enter you both into a strongman competition.”

Javier laughed, shaking his head. “We make a pretty good team, don’t we?”

“The best,” Y/N agreed, her heart swelling with love as she watched them work together. “Keep it up, my strong heroes!”

Y/N’s playful cheering and lighthearted jokes kept the mood bright as they continued their cleanup. She felt a sense of peace watching her family, knowing they could get through anything as long as they were together.

As the last of the debris was cleared away, Javier and Elle joined Y/N on the steps. Elle climbed onto her lap, snuggling close as Javier wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“See? We got through it,” Javier said softly, his voice filled with pride and love.

“Yes, we did,” Y/N replied, kissing the top of Elle’s head. “And we did it together.”

They sat there for a moment, enjoying the calm after the storm. Despite the damage and the challenges, they knew they had each other, and that was all that mattered.

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 7 ⤍ calvin klein

you were laying in bed scrolling through twitter and posting on twitter. you had been laying there for almost three hours now when you got a facetime from kazuha.

"KAZUHA!" you greeted excitedly only showing your forehead on the camera.

"hey" unlike you kazuha was already up, dressed, and at her desk with her phone balancing on it. "did i wake you? sorry i thought you were up"

"no" you shook your head, "i need to get up now i've been on twitter the whole morning"

"i saw" she chuckled.

"oh you saw that..." you slowly set your phone down leaving it to look at the ceiling going to scream into your pillow.

kazuha just laughed in response and once you were done screaming you picked up your phone like nothing just happened, greeting her again. "so how's your morning so far?"

"it was great. woke up to some great compliments, really felt the love" she responded.

"that's great. glad i could make your morning great" you grinned sitting up in your bed.

"i would ask how yours was but i can already tell by this call"

"why are you even up so early? we had the same night last night"

"i have to edit and post some videos to my channel. you make an appearance by the way"

"oh, did you do me justice"

"you'll have to watch it and see" kazuha grinned.

"please spoil it" you begged.

"my reacting to seeing you for the first time is in there" she told you.

"wait there's a clip! why haven't i seen it?"

"sakura recorded it. it wasn't on live"

"now i'm scared" you said nervously.

"don't be it's a good reaction. i didn't know i was on camera so mine is more embarrassing than yours, trust" kazuha laughed.

"i get to see kazuha down bad" you exclaimed, "and for me, it's the best day of my life. i can die peacefully now"

"i can't wait to film this video with you" she said.

"already can't wait to see me again?" you raised your eyebrow at her.

"oh definitely i haven't stopped thinking about you since i first met you" she said sarcastically.

"i knew it, you're obsessed with me already" you joked.

"definitely" she joked back.

"i'm obsessed with you too kazuha if that makes you feel better" you said.

kazuha suddenly hid her face before saying, "glad the feelings mutual"

you looked at the time seeing it was almost 2:00 in the afternoon, "well i should probably get up now"

"yeah, and i have to finish editing this video, i'll talk to you later" kazuha waved goodbye.

"bye bye kazuha" you hung up the phone and screamed into your pillow once again after you were sure the call was over.

you took a couple of minutes to cool down before making your way out of your room into the kitchen to eat something.

"did you scream?" gaeul asked when you came into the kitchen.

"no, wasn't me" you denied.

"oh. it was really light and you have noise canceling so i assumed it was you"

"probably hyunseo. you know kids, plus her room is really far" you looked in the cabinet as you spoke.

just then hyunseo walked in.

"are you okay, i heard you scream?" gaeul asked.

"i didn't scream. it was y/n. i walked past her room when she did it" hyunseo told her.

"snitch" you mumbled under your breath.

"fine. i was on the phone with kazuha and i screamed after we talked. don't tell rei or yujin" you threatened them with a random straw you got off the counter.

hyunseo made a motion saying her lips were zipped and you nodded contentedly before pointing the straw at gaeul.

"i'm won't tell them as long as you keep me updated on what's going on with you and kazuha" gaeul said.

"nothings going on we're friends" you said.

"that scream says different" gaeul muttered.

"i'll agree though" you finally put the straw down.

"is this why rei calls you down bad?" hyunseo asked.

"don't listen to rei. she's a bad influence" you told the younger girl before making your way into the bathroom to get ready for the day. you would eat later.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

i need friends to play games with

[zaebeecee]

To Sever a Loveless Bond

••RadioDust Soulmate AU••

Part 19/?

First chapter | Previous chapter | Next chapter

Read on AO3

•••

CW: more explicit references to the last chapter (but just references)

Sorry updates are coming slower, y’all, real life work that pays money and stuff has been picking up lately and I need to buy hot pockets

Also featured in this chapter: more examples of soul marks sucking for people. I’m glad y’all seem to like my take on Arackniss tho.

•••

In 1932, Anthony disappeared.

That was, Arackniss supposed, not exactly the right way to put it. ‘He ran away from home’ might have been more accurate, but he was an adult at the time, and the phrase was so… juvenile. But, while none of the family knew where Anthony had gone, Arackniss himself had one leg up on the others: he was the one who saw Anthony off, gave him some money for the trip, and hoped (for his brother’s sake) that he never ended up in New York City again.

In 1933, Anthony returned, and their father threw him in a sanitarium for being queer. That was, after all, what people did in their day. Hell, it was the reason Anthony had run off in the first place, trying to save himself from their father’s old-world homophobic, Sicilian rage. And after Anthony got out, everyone talked about how much he had changed. How different he was. How much colder he had gotten.

Arackniss, however, knew different. Whatever turned Anthony icy and cruel didn’t just happen in the institution. It started wherever it was he had gone, when he tried to leave the family behind forever. Something he saw out there broke him, and Arackniss never learned what it was; they didn’t get the chance to talk before he was institutionalized, and when he tried asking Anthony about it after his release, his little brother didn’t remember.

It was the lobotomy, probably.

Arackniss figured that was the start of his protectiveness over Anthony, an aspect of brotherhood that had never existed between them before. Something had wounded his brother, something Anthony might never remember and Arackniss—Bernardino, in those days—would likely never understand, and he thought that since he couldn’t protect Anthony from the pain, he could at least shelter him better from new wounds. It wasn’t easy, since they still didn’t like each other, but Arackniss was able to do most of it behind Anthony’s back, particularly once their father kicked it and Arackniss inherited the family business. Besides, it made Maria happy, and both of them would have done anything for their sister, in their own ways.

Wherever she is now.

It’s funny. She could be worse than either of us on her bad days, but I’ve never found her here.

Anthony died before either of them, a gruesome and painful death that could as easily have been an accident as suicide, though the cops called it the latter. Arackniss had heard the name Angel Dust several times after arriving in Hell before he ever realized that was referring to his brother, and their reunion had been brief and awkward. Even though they never spoke, he knew how often Anthony came to that one restaurant he managed. And, even though Anthony pissed him off… they were family. They were brothers.

Arackniss wasn’t going to let anybody use his little brother as a pawn in their political game, no matter how firmly he had promised to stay out of things where the Vees were concerned.

VoxTek tower was huge and gaudy, in Arackniss’s opinion; it was too tall, it was too sleek, and it was too ostentatious to be anything but a status symbol three overlords were holding over the citizens of Pentagram City. There had been a time that it hadn’t existed, and after that, a time the tower had seemed so out of place. But the Vees were powerful, moreso than any coalition of overlords should have been, and soon the aesthetic of Pentagram City’s center had fallen in line with Vox’s penchant for sharp lines and curves and unholy marriage of Brutalist and Googie architecture.

Arackniss had wielded power in life, sure—after he’d taken over the family, he’d run it from the forties all the way into the sixties before he got shot nine fucking times—but he’d never been a bragging asshole about it. People who wore their wealth like a badge of honor were just asking to get shot.

The security system was thorough, but with the paths Arackniss planned to take, they were nothing he hadn’t seen before. The loading dock was open, sinners and Hellborn busy moving something off the back of a truck and into the bay, and with Arackniss’s size and coloring nobody even glanced his way as he skirted around a couple of security guards and into the shadows of the back warehouse. He jumped from the floor up into the rafters, running along the metal until he reached the wall, where he hopped down to land on an air duct. He made short work of the screws on the vent, then dipped in, pulling the vent into place behind him.

Usually, air vents weren’t actually something you could navigate buildings in like they did in movies, but sinners tended to plan things as though their own size was normal, and most sinners were an average of four feet taller than Arackniss was himself. Plus… well, he was a fucking spider, he could crawl almost better than he could run.

After that came the most tedious part of any infiltration. He knew the rough layout of the building, but keeping everything in mind while scaling up ventilation shafts was a bitch, and he had to find air vents near enough the floor directories for him to make out what the fuck floor he was even on.

Of course, the Vees kept their personal shit near the top of the building, probably in part because of people like him. The further up he got, the fewer people he heard in the hallways, until the building seemed as cold and deserted as it looked. It was eerie in a way very much unlike the environment he liked to foster; while both were detached and impersonal, this place was worse, because it was so… fake.

The sounds of voices drew his attention, and Arackniss slowed so he made no noise as he finished his approach. He stopped out of line of sight of the vent, not wanting to risk anyone glancing up his way, and stilled himself to listen.

“—what with his little fanclub fucking converging on our lobby and still no official statement from your boytoy, the parasocialites are going to start being a real pain in the arse quite quickly.”

Velvette.

“What do you expect me to do about it?” Vox. “He’s happy enough now that he’s got the little whore functionally incapacitated. He’s never been smart enough to consider long-term consequences.” Arackniss heard them shifting around, but he couldn’t tell what they were doing.

“…you think he’s gonna end up dead, don’t you?”

“…I’ve considered the possibility.” Vox’s voice was neutral in a way that Arackniss could only call ‘politic’, concealing everything under a layer of pragmatism. “When Alastor kills Angel, Val will lose his shit, and he doesn’t stand a chance against the Radio Demon.”

“So why are you doing this?” There was a pause, and when Velvette didn’t get an answer, she continued, “You have to see how fucking insane this is. There’s no way you don’t. It’s unnecessary. If the mark is such a big deal, cut him from his contract. VoxTek made him and we can make someone else just as easily.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Vox hesitated, and it sounded like he reconsidered whatever he was going to say. “It’s a little late to change tack now.”

“You boys and your fucking dick measuring contests.”

Arackniss smirked a little, but only a little. Vox seemed so positive that Alastor was going to destroy his little brother, but after that evening…

When he found Valentino’s office, it was empty. Carefully, he let himself out, refastening the vent covering and soundlessly dropping to the ground. It smelled terrible, probably residue of the smoke from those cigarettes Valentino was never seen without, but otherwise it seemed like the office of any other sleazelord. Arackniss knew where he would keep copies of soul contracts (if he had any), but from what he had gathered, the porn overlord was a fucking moron.

The desk, then.

It wasn’t even locked, but the interior of the drawers were so disorganized it was almost a built-in security measure all its own. He found a disturbing number of pictures of his brother, as well as several other performers over a spectrum of different gender presentations, loose receipts that probably meant his books were a disaster, pens that probably didn’t work, toys that he did not touch, and a wide variety of odds and ends, most of which didn’t belong in an office desk.

The top middle drawer, usually reserved for writing implements, was full of loose papers… and a false bottom. Arackniss shifted the papers back and slipped his fingers under the latch, carefully lifting it and retrieving two objects: a photograph, and a contract.

The photograph was much different from all of the others he had found. This one was old, gritty and washed out the way photography had been in the late 70s, and the only two people in it were a far less garishly dressed Valentino and Vox back when his head was a far bulkier shape. Neither of them looked particularly well-off, and the photograph was a selfie that Valentino had clearly taken with his longer arms. It must have been before they were overlords, Arackniss thought, because he didn’t actually hear Vox’s name as anything but a sinner pushing television in Hell until the early 80s.

They both looked happy.

Arackniss slipped the photograph back in place and unfolded the contract, fairly certain he knew what it would be, and he was… half right. It was actually two contracts folded up together, both copies of different transactions.

One, his mission target, was signed by Anthony and authorized to Valentino.

The other was signed by Valentino and authorized to the name ‘Vincent’.

Arackniss frowned, staring at it—did someone actually own Valentino’s soul? And was Vincent…?—but this wasn’t his problem right now, and he fucking hoped it never would be. He folded the second contract back up and slipped it into place, just as the door clicked.

“Fuck,” he hissed under his breath, immediately ducking underneath the desk and slipping the drawer closed from below. The door swung open with a violent bang, and Arackniss heard a storm of manic muttering that sounded like it might have been Spanish as black velvet boots stomped over to the desk.

Valentino rounded the desk and stood in front of it, cursing quietly as he opened his desk drawers and began rooting through them in a way that sounded aimless. Arackniss held his breath, listening for any words he could recognize, but Spanish wasn’t as close to Italian as people who spoke neither one believed, and so he was only able to parse enough to determine that Valentino wasn’t feeling angry. Not exactly, anyway. Bitter? Or… maybe petty would be a better word.

“Perfecto,” Valentino muttered as he found whatever he was looking for. “Let’s see the Radio Demon ignore this.”

He sounded triumphant in his pettiness. That was not good. Arackniss didn’t know what kind of man Alastor was, but he didn’t have to in order to recognize that Alastor had a very short leash that had been frayed over what was likely a lifetime of building insanity and neuroses and was currently even more volatile than his past reputation would suggest. The moment Valentino left the office again, Arackniss slipped the contract into his jacket and jumped back up to the vent, opening it and slipping back in.

He just hoped that, if Valentino was intending to antagonize Alastor somehow, he could get to the hotel first.

•••

“Look, you really don’t need to do this, we’ll be fine.”

“It’s okay, really. Please, just stay here for now, until all of this blows over.”

Blitzø sighed, rubbing his forehead, before he looked back at Millie, Moxxie, and Loona. “What do you think?” he asked them, trying very hard to ignore the pleading look Charlie was giving to all of them.

“I actually think it might be a good idea, sir,” Moxxie said. “If the Vees are actually determined to get rid of us, we shouldn’t make it easy for them to find us.”

“It’ll only be for a bit, right?” Millie added. “Me an’ Moxxie’ll take you up on it at least, Princess.”

Loona shifted. “…I don’t want to go back through Pentagram City right now,” she muttered.

Blitzø held up his hand. “Okay. Okay, fine.” He turned back to Charlie. “Guess we’ll be hanging out for a while. Don’t worry, we’ll do our best not to break anything.”

Charlie shook her head. “I’m not worried about that. Besides, uh, you might have noticed… we aren’t exactly bursting at the seams with guests!” Her voice was bright, but Blitzø knew an emotional coverup when he heard one.

“Well, we’re irredeemable, but we’ll do our best to look like a crowd.”

Charlie took them up to the floor where, apparently, everyone had their rooms. She showed Millie and Moxxie to one (“You’ll be right across the hall from Husk, but I’m not positive he ever spends much time in there, so don’t worry about bothering him.”), Loona to a second (“Niffty is right next to you if you need anything, and just ignore— yeah, that noise right there, it’s apparently nothing to worry about!”), and finally, Blitzø to a third. It was nice enough for a fairly standard room, and Blitzø couldn’t help thinking that even unmodified it was almost as big as his and Loona’s apartment. He took a couple of steps in, looking around as he did so.

He could feel Charlie watching him with eager apprehension. “Well?” she asked finally.

Blitzø turned his head, raising an eyebrow at her. “Well?” he repeated back at her.

“What do you think?”

Tilting his head, Blitzø turned to face her, his hand on his cocked hip. “Why do you care so much what we think?”

Charlie looked like she was at a loss for a moment. “…because… I… why wouldn’t I?”

“Because we’re not your target demographic,” Blitzø said, frowning. “Because you’re letting us crash for free. Because we don’t write for some fucking travel magazine or something. Take your pick.”

“Oh.” Charlie shifted uncomfortably. “…well… to tell you the truth, you’re the first people from any other Ring who’s seen the hotel,” she said. “I know news circulated about it, and I know it was…”

She seemed to be struggling with phrasing, so Blitzø supplied, “A laughingstock?”

“…yeah,” Charlie said on a sigh. “And you— I mean, you know, you own a business, and you’re…”

“…the lowest form of Hell society?” Blitzø asked with a sarcastic smile.

Charlie frowned at him. “I didn’t say that, stop finishing my sentences in the rudest way possible.”

Blitzø shrugged at her. “No, you’re right. An imp owning a business of any kind is… weird, I guess. But I figured, fuck it, if my old man could run a circus, I could run a tiny assassination agency.”

She nodded. “Did people tell you it was… a dumb idea?”

“Among other things.” Blitzø tilted his head at her, just a little. “I’m not sure what, exactly, it is you wanna hear out of me.”

“I don’t know,” Charlie said, sounding exasperated with the universe as a whole. “That it… that it’s a nice hotel, I guess. That it’s not a waste of time. That it’s not… stupid.”

Blitzø smirked. “But it is,” he said. Charlie blinked, clearly surprised that he would say that to her face, so he took advantage of her silence to continue. “Of course it’s stupid. You looked at a long-standing murder ritual that the angels clearly fucking love, and decided that the answer was to build a voluntary rehab center for the worst parts of humanity to do the work on their souls that they couldn’t be bothered to do while alive on the off chance that maybe, somehow, that would get them into Heaven.”

Charlie’s shoulders sagged slightly. “It sounds awful when you put it that way.”

“But that’s what it is,” Blitzø countered. “And you knew it was stupid when you first started. I know you did, you’re not an idiot. But you did it anyway. Why?”

“Because…” Charlie threw her hands out. “I don’t know, because it was important to me?”

“Right.” Blitzø smiled at her, just a little, and Charlie lowered her hands to look at him again. “Everybody does stupid shit because the reasons are important to them. You just happened to have the drive to do something huge and stupid for a cause that you don’t even have any proof works. And y’know, good for you, most people would look at this plan of yours, laugh at it, and give it up. But you didn’t, and because you didn’t, you stopped an extermination, which has never happened before.”

Charlie’s expression had been softening as he spoke, and at that, she smiled. “…yeah. Yeah, we did, didn’t we?”

He snorted under his breath, smirking. “So, there you go. So what if it’s stupid. So what if the rest of Hell thinks you’re… I dunno, naive or childish or out of touch for doing it. Why should you give a fuck what they think? Even if redemption isn’t a thing, at least part of your hotel works. You wanted to bring people together, and you did. You wanted to protect people from the extermination, and you did. What the fuck have your naysayers done except bitch about other people’s ideas? Mammon’s never had a single idea that wasn’t utter fucking trash, and he’s had success with almost every single one of them.”

Charlie actually giggled, folding her arms. “I didn’t know you were a motivational speaker.”

“What? Oh, fuck that,” Blitzø said with a laugh. “I’m the absolute picture of demotivation. But you’re pretty okay, comparatively, and I’d rather watch them fume at your success than contribute to your failure because the first one is funnier.”

He didn’t like the way her lip quirked into an amused smirk. “Uh-huh. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you were being nice to me.”

“Stop that,” Blitzø said, pointing at her. “Or I will start being rude to you again.”

She shrugged, clasping her hands behind her back. “I live in a building with the Radio Demon, I’m not worried about you.”

He narrowed his eyes, dropping his hand to hang at his side. “…if I wasn’t pretty sure your girlfriend is faster than me, I’d call you a bitch.” Her laugh was startled and maybe a little scandalized, but it was a laugh. He sighed. “Well, at least you’re getting into the ‘I don’t give a fuck’ groove easily enough.”

“Oi! Blitzø!” a voice called from somewhere else in the hotel. That Cherri Bomb chick, if he wasn’t mistaken. “Get your ass down here!”

Blitzø groaned, letting his head fall backwards “I should ask Millie if this is what being married feels like,” he muttered before waving his hand at Charlie a little as he passed her. “It’s probably the nicest hotel I’ve seen in Hell, and I grew up in Greed. Do with that what you will.”

Charlie didn’t follow immediately, and Blitzø didn’t wait for her, heading back down the hallway and vaulting over the balcony railing down to the ground floor. “You bellowed?” he asked as he approached Cherri Bomb, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, bitch, I got something for you,” she answered with a sharp grin. It was only then that he realized she wasn’t alone; there was a very small sinner with her, a guy who seemed to be some kinda gray spider-like… something. He was crouching on the arm of the couch, which barely put him at Blitzø’s eye level, and he was giving him a look that was obviously daring him to be sarcastic.

Blitzø immediately had six comments he could make. Five of them were funny and one of them wouldn’t end with him getting shot, so he went with that one, because it was the middle of the night and his reflexes weren’t quite up to ‘avoiding death at the hands of an unknown sinner’ at the moment. “Your contact?” he asked Cherri Bomb.

“Arackniss,” she said. “And this is Blitzø.”

“Here,” the sinner said in lieu of any greeting, offering a folded contract out to Blitzø. “Don’t fuckin’ lose it, just get him outta this and do it fast.”

His accent sounds a lot like— “Ohhh,” Blitzø said as he took the contract, his eyes wide with understanding. “Yeah, I got you.”

Arackniss didn’t ask what his revelation was, and it really looked like he didn’t care. “Is Alastor here?”

Blitzø and Cherri Bomb exchanged looks. “…uh, maybe?” Blitzø asked.

“Don’t look at me,” Cherri Bomb said immediately, holding her hands up. “Bitch made me walk back on my own, I don’t have a clue where he went.”

“Keep an eye on him, as much as you can,” Arackniss said. “That Valentino bastard’s apparently planning something. He ain’t smart, but you don’t gotta be smart to be effective.”

Cherri Bomb sighed. “I’ll tell Niffty—”

“Tell me what?”

The explosive sinner jumped a little. “Shit, Niffty, where did you come from?!”

“Japan,” Niffty said with a wide grin, staring up at Cherri Bomb. “You’ll tell me what?”

“Arackniss here says someone needs to keep an eye on Alastor,” Cherri Bomb said.

Niffty tilted her head, then looked up at where Arackniss was still crouched on the arm of the couch. Her eye went incredibly wide, and Blitzø could have sworn it started glittering. “Ohhhh, you’re a bad boy…!”

Arackniss frowned at her, leaning back just a little. “…the fuck…?”

“Noooo,” Cherri Bomb said, reaching down to take Niffty by the shoulders and start ushering her out of the room. “No bad boys for you tonight. You go keep an eye on Radiohead and make sure he stays put, okay?”

“Okay~” Niffty said in a somewhat dreamy voice, still looking back at Arackniss as she was pushed several feet. She then giggled, scampering off to go find Alastor.

“Right,” Blitzø said. “Before this gets weirder, I’m gonna get going with this. He… might still be awake,” he said to himself, before shrugging. “Welp, he’s about to be.”

He was halfway to the door when he heard a voice. “Blitzø. Hold on.” He stopped and turned just as Vaggie approached him. “I’m coming with you.”

Blitzø frowned at her. “What— why? I can handle this, I’ve been there like a thousand times at this point.”

“You’re still a target for the Vees,” Vaggie said, crossing her arms as she stared down at him. “And, besides, I want to make sure you get there with the contract and get back with the info.”

Blitzø smirked. “What, you don’t trust me?”

“I’d say not as far as I can throw you, but you’re small.” As Blitzø’s expression turned into a frown, it was Vaggie’s turn to smirk. “You don’t get a choice, pendejo. Sorry ‘bout it.”

“Oh, no you are not.” Blitzø glared at her before huffing. “Fine. But I’m doing the talking when we get there.”

“Fine with me. So, you said you’re going to talk to Prince Stolas?”

“Yep,” Blitzø said, turning towards the doors. “This is gonna be awkward. So just remember that you decided to tag along,” he added, heading outside before she could respond.

•••

Normally, Alastor was excruciatingly patient. He almost never slept, he enjoyed watching plans unfold slowly over a long period of time, many of his pastimes were things that couldn’t be done quickly… even in life, Alastor had never really been one to be impatient.

That, he had decided, was one of the effects of having Angel Dust so present in his life now: he had only been back in the hotel for a few hours, and he was already getting agitated at the lack of news from Arackniss. He had fixed his desk and picked up its scattered contents—he certainly was throwing things quite a bit recently! How uncharacteristic of him!—in a matter of half an hour, which had left him with nothing else to do but wait. Normally, he would read, or listen to music, or even go out and eviscerate some unfortunate who decided to aggravate him in one way or another, but all he was doing was just… sitting.

Upon deep reflection of the past few days, Alastor supposed he felt responsible for what had happened. It wasn’t that he believed the Vees were holding Angel hostage now because he had neglected to break the bond; no, he was certain Vox had something else up his precisely starched and pressed little sleeve, and so too was he certain that Angel would be in a similar predicament to his current situation regardless of Alastor’s own actions. But perhaps, had he not left Rosie’s so rashly…

Alastor sighed and rubbed his forehead, his smile straining at the corners. There was little point in dwelling, and he knew that, but he couldn’t help the alien feeling that was broiling up in his gut and gnawing at him with a hot ferocity so unlike the hunger that perpetually clawed at his insides.

Am I feeling guilty?

But that was ludicrous. Alastor had felt regret in his time, certainly, but guilt? No. Guilt implied shame. Guilt implied his actions had been such grievous mistakes that he felt it necessary to assume fault for someone else’s misfortune. Alastor didn’t feel guilt, so why would this be different?

“Do you love him?”

The memory of the question made him twitch. In truth—and this was something he hadn’t wanted to divulge to anyone, let alone Arackniss—he wasn’t at all certain what he felt about Angel Dust. Over the past month, he hadn’t allowed himself to dwell on anything except the fact that they needed to bond, and the fact that he had been granted the opportunity to satisfy a number of intellectual curiosities that, it turned out, hadn’t been wholly unpleasant.

Don’t talk yourself in circles. You liked it.

The thought of touching anyone else still stirred even less than disinterest in him, but Angel’s presence was oddly soothing, in many ways. It was surprising, because Angel himself was so fucking grating when he wanted to be, and while he hadn’t had any interest in repeating their intercourse as yet, he found it pleasant when Angel touched his hand or leaned on his arm.

So what did he feel, when it came to Angel Dust? He liked him, certainly, which had come as quite the surprise. Upon their first meeting, Alastor had written Angel off; a porn star (boring) who worked for VoxTek (irritating) and kept propositioning him (absolutely not) was definitely not his sort of person, he thought, and he had resolved to be cordial and little else. He couldn’t even put his finger on when it was that he started liking the little spider, mostly because he couldn’t remember a time he had ever actually found his attitude that off-putting. Familiar, perhaps, but… well, he couldn’t begin to imagine why.

He found Angel Dust to be more than just likeable, of course. For example, he was infinitely aggravating: while he did understand a firm ‘no’ when he heard one, anything less than that seemed to be more of a challenge than an instruction or a warning to be heeded. He was also supremely confounding, and Alastor still couldn’t understand why Angel did half of the things that he did. He didn’t think Angel understood why he did them.

Alastor wasn’t a stranger to impulse, of course, and he had been known to act rashly at times. Angel, however, seemed predisposed to simply follow whatever whim made its way into his fluffy little head, which made him unpredictable and entirely illogical. He had never met anyone who answered the question ‘why are you doing that’ with ‘I dunno’ with such frequency, and never seemed bothered that he rarely knew why he did the things he did. Even Niffty tended to give a reason, even if that reason was out of left field.

But all of that just made Alastor wonder why he had even bothered. Normally, someone frustrating and confounding would be someone he would strive to avoid whenever possible, but Angel… Alastor laughed under his breath, putting his face in one hand. His first thought had been the mark again, but that didn’t explain why he had been speaking to Angel with increased frequency for several weeks before the damn kitchen incident. The mark, completely dormant at the time, had no hand in that, and Alastor wouldn’t allow fate to be the reason for his change of perspective.

No. That had been his own doing… and, in all likelihood, Angel Dust��s. What the spider had done, Alastor couldn’t begin to guess, but he did know that it wasn’t intentional. If it was, it never would have worked.

A soft tap against the glass of his only window startled him, and Alastor got to his feet, crossing to it and unlocking it. He wasn’t sure if he expected Arackniss or not, but when he opened it, there was no one there, simply a cassette lying on his windowsill. Raising an eyebrow, Alastor delicately lifted it between two claws, turning it back and forth curiously; it was unlabeled, but it didn’t appear to be… cursed, or anything of the sort. Just an audio cassette.

Shutting his window again, Alastor went to his desk and conjured up a cassette player, which landed on the wood with a hollow plastic clatter. Magnetic tape wasn’t the worst evolution in audio technology, he supposed, and it was absolutely easier to record on than wax cylinders, so it certainly had its place in the oeuvre of music as a whole.

Alastor slipped the cassette into the player and snapped it shut. It was already rewound, so he hit play, thumbing the volume control as it started up.

“Alright, baby, now come show me how much you missed me.”

Instantly, Alastor’s lip curled in distaste. Valentino? Why the fuck did he have a cassette recording of Valentino? He had half a mind to stop it immediately, but the next voice stilled him.

“Anythin’ for you, Daddy.”

“Angel,” Alastor muttered, his eyes now locked on the player in his hand. He could hear sounds that he wasn’t able to parse, shifting fabric and soft thumps, but it was followed by a sound he was growing to know alarmingly well: the wet, soft noise that two pairs of lips made when they met and then separated.

“You’ve been a very bad boy, Angel,” Valentino purred.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I wanna be a good boy. I’ll do anythin’ to make it up to you.”

“Anything?”

“Anythin’ at all.”

Alastor clenched his fist around the player as he heard sounds that he knew from the films of Angel’s he had seen, wet smacking and open-mouthed exhaling and the occasional choked gag, all underscored by Valentino’s satisfied, low groaning. Alastor hesitated, then pressed fast forward. When he hit play again, he heard the repetitive smack of skin colliding with skin, the occasional shift of furniture against a tile floor, and Angel’s voice, panting and crying out in that horrifically fake performance voice that sounded nothing, nothing, like Angel did when he was actually enjoying himself.

“Oh, fuck, yeah, Val, come on, Daddy, do it, harder, please Val, god, please, fuck m—!”

The cassette player cut off with a high screech as Alastor crushed it in his fist, and the tape along with it. The plastic and metal mechanisms fell to the floor, where they began smoldering, then burst into flickering green flame.

Perhaps he was overdue for a little bout of rash behavior.

•••

“Make me a drink.”

“You’re pleasant today.”

“Fuck you,” Cherri said, turning away on the bar stool and looking out over the lobby. She could practically hear Husk roll his eyes behind her, but the clatter of bottles and ice followed as he obliged her demand anyway. Cherri bit down on the side of her tongue, resisting the urge to turn around.

“How long d’you think it’ll take?” Husk asked.

Cherri couldn’t tell if he was actually interested. “Blitzø?” she asked. “Who fuckin’ knows. I don’t know anything about the Goetia or how long they take to do anything.”

“Can’t believe we’re dragging Hellborn nobility into this.”

“Hmn.” Husk set a glass down at her elbow, and Cherri turned just enough to see that he had his hand over it, preventing her from taking it. She narrowed her eye and turned further, glaring at him. “What?”

“Everyone is already on edge,” Husk said. “You don’t have to make things worse.”

“Oh, fuck off, Husk,” Cherri snapped, turning around fully and slamming one fist on the bar top. He didn’t even flinch. “You were the one who called me six fucking times in a half hour to get dirt on Angie months after basically telling me you never wanted to see me again.”

Husk’s expression shifted, just a little. “That wasn’t what I said.”

“It was clearly what you meant.”

He narrowed his own eyes at her. “Don’t tell me what my own goddamn words meant, Cherri. You’re not a mind reader. And you were the one who decided to leave the hotel.”

“You expected me to stay after that?” Cherri asked, incredulous. “After we— after it was— you were the one who said to act like it didn’t happen!”

Husk actually rolled his eyes. “Not this shit again,” he muttered.

Cherri tapped the countertop. “You brought it up, buddy,” she said. “You said that you wanted to just ignore it. You said you didn’t want it. You said you had absolutely zero interest in me and you never would.”

“Do you have to be so fucking unreasonable about everything?” Husk asked. “You were the one who was furious when it happened. And then you were furious when it didn’t lead to anything. Is there anything in this goddamn miserable existence that doesn’t make you mad?”

“You didn’t!” Cherri said, gesturing at him. “At least, not until you became such an asshole about… it! I can handle rejection and I don’t give a shit about soul marks or what the fuck ever, but there’s a big difference between you not being interested and you acting like I’m beneath you!”

Husk blinked. “…what?”

“I get it, I’m not good enough for you,” Cherri snapped. “You made that very clear. But you don’t get to dictate how I react.”

“…the fuck are you talking about?” Husk asked, his eyes narrowing again. “You didn’t want to be, what was the phrase, stuck with a drunken, washed-up, failed children’s entertainer?”

“You called me a bitch!”

“You are a bitch!”

“You’re a bitch!”

“Um…”

Cherri realized that she was on her feet, and both she and Husk were leaning forward on the bar top as they shouted at each other (or as close to shouting as Husk ever got). They both snapped their heads to the side and saw Niffty looking up at them, blinking her single wide and curious eye.

Cherri threw herself back onto her stool with a huff while Husk turned away. “What is it, Niff?” he asked, his voice infuriatingly controlled again.

“It, um. Cherri told me to look after Alastor.”

Cherri frowned at her. “Yeah. So why are you here?”

Niffty gestured helplessly. “Well… I can’t,” she said. “Alastor’s gone.”

•••

[final-girl96]

STOLE HEARTS CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Author's Note: It has been forever since I updated this, and I apologize.

~♡~♡~♡~

A WEEK LATER

I sat in the kitchen at my dad's house. After what happened with Eddie I went home and packed as much shit I could get in my car and came straight to my dad's. He wasn't home though; he was on his tour with the rest of the band. So I was here alone. Drowning in my own thoughts; replaying every word Eddie had said to me. I would have stayed in our house but when I told him not to bother coming home it only produced more harsh words from him.

“Well, congratulations, Eddie, you're a free man now. You can go fuck whoever you want and get as drunk and high as you cold icy black heart can handle. I'm done. We're done.” I began to walk towards my car, but stopped and turned back around. “oh, and don't bother coming home. I'll pack your shit and you can go live your life the way you want since I'm such a bitch.”

“Technically, sweetheart, that house is mine. I bought it and it's in my name. So you should be the one to leave.” His words were slurred but still very clear at the same time. “Don't need you anyway. Not when I can have any girl I want. Only used to get where I am now! Stacy is hotter than you and has a better pussy!”

I couldn't stop the tears that fell down my cheeks. He was drunk and didn't mean it. That's what I tried to tell myself. But you know what they say, “drunk words are sober thoughts.” I got in my car, went back to the house, grabbed as much as I could fit in my car, and left. I came to my dad's and the flood of tears I've been holding back that I've been holding in since the hideout. I cried until I fell asleep and when I woke up a few hours later, my eyes were still sore, red, and puffy.

It's been like that on and off for a week. I would cry until I fell asleep, then I'd wake up and force myself to eat something. I haven't gone anywhere or done anything either, just been curled up on the couch or in my bed all day. I didn't bother getting dressed, favoring pajamas or sweatpants and an oversized sweater. I'd slowly make my way into the kitchen and make myself eat something at least once a day.

Today I wore a pair of black sweats and one of my dad's sweatshirts, with a pair of wool socks. I was making my way downstairs when the doorbell chimed through the house. I stopped halfway down the stairs, my heart stopped for a second before picking up and hammering against my ribcage. I haven't heard from Eddie at all since I left that night. I was kind of disappointed and sad he didn't try to reach out, but at the same time I was glad he didn't. I was frozen on the stairs not wanting to check and see who it was; afraid it might be him.

What would I do? What would I say? What would he say? Would he try to apologize? Or would he beg for me to forgive him and give him another chance. Say that he didn't mean everything he said? The doorbell rang again followed by someone pounding on the door. I slowly moved down the stairs and towards the door. The person on the other side pounded on the door again and I moved faster, coming up to the door, and peaking through the peephole. Who I saw was someone I never suspected to be at my doorstep. I unlocked the door and pulled it open.

“You look like shit.” The door was pushed open and they pushed their way into the house. “Excuse you! You can't just barge into my house like you own the fucking place!” I closed the door. “Hargrove!” I walked after him, finding him in the kitchen sitting the bags of food on the counter. “What are you doing here? What the fuck is that?” He started to go through the cabinets. “Hello?”

“It's chinese. Where’re the plates?” I pointed to the cabinet to the left of the stove. “Why are you here?” I asked. He grabbed a couple plates, turned, set them down, and began to pull everything out of the bags. “Thought you'd want company. Also figured you probably haven't been eating much of anything other than ice cream. You women are pathetic after a breakup or any little inconvenience.” I raised my brow at him. “Excuse you? I have eaten more than ice cream, not that it's any of your business and I don't need comp…”

“Honey chicken?” I looked at him confused and he raised his eyebrows at me along with an annoyed look. I nodded my head and he proceeded to put a little over everything on the plates. “Sit and eat.” I sat in one of the stools with a sigh. “I didn't need any company.” Billy stayed standing while he ate and scoffed. “Are you going to tell me that you haven't been curled up in your bed crying all day for a week?” I shoved rice into my mouth and rolled my eyes. “No. Sometimes I lay on the couch,” I said with a small smile forming on my face. Billy scoffed out a laugh. “Oh well, excuse me.”

Silence fell over us for a few minutes while we ate our food. “Why are you really here, Billy?” I asked after a while. He shrugged, “Guess I just thought I'd come check on you. I know you're here all alone and what happened between you and E…” I gave him a look that cut him short. I didn't even want to hear his name. “Look, I know you probably don't want to hear anything about him or what happened at the bar…what he said was fucking…I wanted to knock his ass out for it. But I don't know if what he said is true. And before you bit my fucking head off let me explain why.”

I stood up, going over to the fridge and yanking it open. I pulled a water and a beer out, placing the beer in front of Billy. “Well? Go on. Let's hear why you think he wasn't telling the truth? I mean brink words are sober thoughts, right? That's what they say. But before you do let me tell you something you don't know.” He nodded his head and let me continue. “She was there at his last concert. She was waiting outside. We came back here because things started to get really rocky between us. It was a party every night after a concert…after a while I decided to stop going with him. He continued partying and would be out all night long not getting until sometimes four in the morning.”

I took a sip of water and looked up at him. “I have no doubt that she has been around for a while now. He was just drinking, Billy, and he was also getting high. I know talking about smoking pot either. I'm talking about cocaine. He swore it wasn't all the time and that it wasn't enough for him to get addicted to. It went from just being in the green room with the boys and a few girls the other guys would pick out of the crowd of fans to going out to clubs and being out until four in the morning. Also, It wasn't the first time he said something like that to me.”

[x22817]

^Herz at the hospital earlier today

This was the only picture I was able to get because I had to undress and put all of my belongings once we got onto the surgery floor

Health update under the cut

Scopes are done!

I had an endoscopy (they stick a camera down your throat into your belly) and a colonoscopy today. My OBGYN noticed I had really severe hemorrhoids the last time I had a physical exam with her. She was concerned enough I was referred to a GI surgeon right away.

This bitch is the coolest doc I've ever met. She came in with cat scrubs, a fish bonnet, and raccoons in trash cans socks. We walked through my entire, not just GI related medical history in about 45 minutes. The biggest concern are the hemorrhoids which have been causing me major problems lately. I couldn't poop without bleeding so much I would come close to passing out.

I was immediately scheduled for my scopes for today and for my CT scan in a couple of weeks.

The last scopes I got, I was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia, severe ulcers, diverticulitis, inguinal hernia, and "all-around general inflammation." I wasn't told what to do. Wasn't given any drugs or even supplements. Nothing.

All of my symptoms improved significantly when I was diagnosed with Addison's and started treatment. I also got much more strict with my diet. WFPB and a daily juice really helped a lot.

Alas, I never stopped having problems, then they suddenly got worse. Now we are here.

Having broken adrenal glads makes everything so much more difficult. This simple procedure had to be turned into a big event. When being sedated, I require an extra anesthesiologist who specializes with Addison's along with the regular anesthesiologist. This person is in charge of my 100mg injection of Sulocortef to substitute for my lack of cortisol.

The endoscopy revealed that I have really severe inflammation in my stomach along with the ulcers. This is probably why it always hurts to eat no matter what it is. The colonoscopy revealed that my hemorrhoids likely need surgery. We are happy I am not internally bleeding.

I have been given two medications that are supposed to help with the stomach issues. Fiber is the biggest thing that will help with the hemorrhoids outside of stitching them bad boys up. We are going to get a bidet because that helps with the pain, the bleeding, and cleanliness, though.

These are my least favorite health problems I have. I am not going to lie. I hate it all so much for so many different reasons.

BUT

I am so incredibly grateful for being heard by my doctors for the first time in my life. The nurse that did my IV, my specialist anesthesiologist, and my doctor herself all could not believe I had this procedure multiple times before and never treated for anything.

[oneshotnewbie]

ʜᴜɴɢᴇʀ ꜱᴛʀɪᴋᴇ ɪɪ - ꜱᴜᴘᴇʀɢɪʀʟ

Trigger warning! This one-shot includes the topic of an eating disorder, illness and an unhealthy eating behavior. These plots are presented. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle those subjects, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.

Authors note: Finally a little update on this story, yeay!

You leaned your forehead against the window before the train drove the last few meter into the station, seeking the comfortableness in it while calming your mind in a way. It was already dark when you arrived in National City and you got off exhausted. The nervousness and tension that had steadily increased along the way made your heart beat faster. The recurring dizziness forced you to get a small snack during the stop in Carthago.

A soft sigh left your lips as the native air crept into your nostrils. On the one hand you were happy to return home, but on the other hand you were afraid of it.

The first semester at Aetherford University had passed calmly but with a lot of stress. You had the chance to be mostly left alone by your and avoided engaging with them via video chat. Even Kara had avoided asking for a video call every third day of the week, otherwise she always had shaky hands just to see you again.

You needed this break, you had to think about a few things. A few months ago your body and mind had started playing against you. A trap had formed, which created more and more problems for you and also caused great fear.

At first you thought it was just happening because you were so stressed and everything was new, but it was not. You quickly found that trying to fight back was useless, because no matter what you did.. It got worse.

You were glad you were able to hide it; you did not know much people at university. At least not someone, who would really care. But it was slowly becoming clear to your professor and your room mate that you seemed emptier and weaker.

It started with just skipping breakfast, but over time it got worse. Breakfast turned into meals that were skipped and you started to survive only on snacks. Protein bars, apples, broccoli. Several times you came close to writing to your sisters, but immediately dismissed the idea. You were sure that they would immediately worry and take you out from university to bring you home.

At moments like this you wished Maggie back. The brunette would certainly have known a good solution or advice without telling Alex anything. But you could not ask her anymore, the contact broke apart.

Memories came flooding back of how Maggie and Alex had split up and you saw her boarding a train to another city right here where you were standing now. And even though you have been talked out of the fact that you could have done something about it, you still berated yourself for not at least trying. It had just been, on the whole, a heartbreaking disaster. Not just because Alex wanted to have children back then, no. Alex could not imagine a life without them and was forced to separate from her great love.

A final sigh left your lips and you took one step after the other in agony. Your head hurt and you did not know if it was because you had not eaten and drunk much today or if it was simply because you sat on a train for five hours straight with a baby crying almost non-stop.

But one thing was certain: It could not be because of the many books in the library.

Over the last six months you have been looking for answers and self-help in the library, but unfortunately you have not found any that helped you. Instead, it kept getting worse.

At first it was difficult for you to really take this problem seriously, as it was often unclear or you had suppressed it. It changed quickly, however, and the consequences became clearer and sharper over time, especially since spring.

That is why you were reluctant to let classmates touch or hug you. You also no longer voluntarily sought physical contact. You were afraid that others would be afraid of you.

A loud horn honk pulled you back to the here and now and you saw none other than Alex on her motorbike. You just hoped that the redhead would not get the idea to hug you right away. You did not want to let it happen until you got your illness under control.

"Look who we have here, the missing Danvers!" mocking, her voice cut through the street noise. You closed your eyes briefly and took a deep breath; now it was going to get serious and you had to be careful at everything. "C´mere, kiddo."

You quickly raised a hand in front of your body, and held it in place. "No hugs please. I, eh… pinched two of my ribs and it hurts like hell," you lied and in the same moment you could have slapped yourself for this statement.

Your sister eyed you intently. You looked ill in her eyes and even though she could not see your face directly because of the darkness, she still noticed how pale and tired you looked.

For several months, Alex Danvers wondered what was wrong with her youngest sister. He had noticed the rapid change in you, even when you were miles away. After all, she was not a DEO agent for nothing. And she wondered why you did not talk to her, you always did.

"Well, can I give you at least a kiss on your cheek?" she asked with a slight smile on her lips. You nodded and mirrored her facial expressions. Putting on a mask, a smiling face. A breathy laugh escapes my mouth so she can not see my pain. The redhead quickly leaned down and gave you three small kisses on the cheek before placing a helmet in your hands and gently wrapping an arm around you.

You felt her hand on your shoulder and instinctively wanted to shake it off when she pulled it back on her own to get her keys out of her leather jacket. You knew from her lingering eye contact that she was not satisfied with your previous answer and that she suspected something. Nevertheless, you were glad that she left you alone without forcing any questions on you.

[ghostssweetgirl]

crazy over you ~ simon ghost riley x reader slow burn/enemies to lovers

description: y/n gets transferred to task force 141 and quickly becomes friends with soap and gaz, but her and ghost "hate" each other for the first part. warnings: mentions of violence and death (duh), alcohol intake, smoking (at some point), nsfw (at some point), subtle flirting with soap. i'm new to writing? so don't expect this to be the greatest. this is not in line with the game campaigns or missions. the only characters i included are y/n, soap, gaz, price, & ghost. i have no knowledge of the military this is just creativity disclaimer: i do not own modern warfare or any of its characters.

chapters: next [switch] last

A/N - Very short chapter but it's because the last one was long. Update: Work has got me caught up so... Between editing what I was unhappy with in this story and work being extra, I've just started catching up with writing the rest of the story. Release times will be shorter from here on out. Just warnin' ya! I do have notes and stuff so it should make writing the next few chapters easier :) 

As you and Simon exit the hotel, you get into the passenger side of the vehicle.

"I had fun, Simon," you smiled at him. "Thank you for coming out with me..."

"Same here, doll." Weird, he was short with you again. Figuring it was just work, you let it go and enjoy the ride back, feeling happy with the outing.

Before the ride got too quiet, you made sure to compliment him. "You're... a good kisser, by the way. Never been kissed like that."

He raised his eyebrow, quickly peeking at you. "Hm."

"Is... everything okay?" you sheepishly asked.

"Affirmative, just work. One thing, luv. Ghost on the field and in front of others."

"Okay, understood, sir."

--

Arriving back at base, you walk into the safe house before Ghost does, and immediately go to find food. Soap and Gaz are in the kitchen and ooh-ing and aww-ing at the two of you.

"Fuck off, pests," Ghost spat as he made his way to his room. You look over your shoulder at him, noticing his sweet demeanor had, in fact, switched. No longer Simon. 

Sitting down at the table after grabbing some leftover scrambled eggs, you, Soap, and Gaz watch Ghost leave without a word. And as soon as he walks out the door...

Soap looks over at you, excited. "How was it?"

"Did you see his face? Is he ugly?"

"How was the movie?"

"... How big is it?"

You choked on your food at the last question, staring off into space, now trying to catch your breath at the randomness of Soap's ask. You laugh before you respond, chewing the last bit of your food. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"N-not like that, lass..." Soap put his head down, realizing how he sounded.

"No, it was fine. We watched Robin Hood... The Disney version... I didn't see his... full face."

"Did ya kiss?" he smirked.

Your smile instantly gave it away as you blushed at the thought, remembering being on Si-Ghost's lap like you were. 

"Ahhh! Was it good? Tell me," Soap took a sip of his orange juice.

You nodded, "Damn good."

Gaz shook his head in playful disapproval. "Done with your questions, Soap?"

"Aye... For now..." he squinted at you. "I'll leave 'er alone..."

You hummed, "We had pizza. And nearly 2 bottles of whiskey."

"Lucky bastards..." they spoke in unison, looking at each other as the words came out of their mouths. 

"We got to sleep in a real bed," you smirked, playfully rubbing it in their faces. 

Soap paused, "YOU GUYS SLEPT TOGETHER?! LIKE - IN THE SAME BED?!"

You furrowed your brows, "Yeah? I mean - he didn't sleep, I slept... on him. Jesus, I'm probably not supposed to be saying any of this... It was fun, okay, Soap? We had our own little time and got to know each other more. I'm just glad he doesn't hate me... anymore."

"Yeah, yeah..." he tutted, jealous - you weren't sure of what, though.