#Gilbert Wilkinson

[monkeyssalad-blog]

1936 Christmas Pie magazine by totallymystified Via Flickr: Illustration by Gilbert Wilkinson.

[cosmictap]

Been watching a lot a lot of taskmaster recently

Currently watched: 1,2 (most of) 3, 6,7,8, and (first half of) 14

Favourite moments: (under read more bc spoilers)

- Season seven when Rhod Gilbert just kept bringing up that one picture of Greg Davies..

- ‘some WANKY WORK AROUND’ - Joe Thomas from S8

- The Hula hoop incident.. (S7 James Acaster)

- Al Murray just pissing into an egg cup essentially?? (S3)

- S3. Paul Chowdhry. ‘I creamed myself’ ‘You are a man who likes women.?’ ‘Bastards crying innit.’

- Joe Wilkinson (?) and the potato throw. (S2)

- Tim Key cheating the ENTIRE season (S1)

- Joe Thomas full stop (S8)

- Rob Becket suprising Alex with a power washer while dressed as a nan. (S3)

- Rhod Gilbert in that one team task where they had to build an extension to the house (S7)

- ‘Find the cat’ (S3?)

- Greg and Alex.

-The dichotomy between Joe + Sian and Paul, Lou + Iian

- ‘Excuse me, I’m shooting a TV show for comic relief, would it be possible to give you a high five’ (S1 Tim Key)

A very much non extensive list

[workingonit-currently]

[mysticalbasementwitch]

@teecupangel

Ac3 Prompt

Everyone helplessly pining after Connor and he can’t understand why people act so strangely around him. Not obligatory but situations I imagine are:

1. Connor being completely oblivious to someone trying to bed him

2. Haytham being upset whenever someone hits on Connor (not out of protectiveness, really, honestly, shut up)

3. Lee being annoyed by everyone talking about how good Connor looks. That is until he finds out that Washington is also pining, and he figures out a way to use that against the general.

4. Hickey making snide comments about Connor, usually when the elder Kenway isn’t within earshot. Hopefully.

5. Connor is confused why people go out of their way to help and befriend him. At first he assumes it’s just politeness, but it starts to get ridiculous.

6. Connor is concerned that people always start staring and whispering whenever he enters a room. He is also confused why women try to keep him away from other women. Is he making them so uncomfortable that people have to stop him from talking to others?

7. Haytham feeling a small amount of pride and smugness for making a good-looking child.

[panelshowsource]

i’d love to know, what are some panel show moments you think about a lot?

omg like just off the top of my head?

just the whole episode of cats after jimmy's tax avoidance scandal

"good evening your majesty you tax-dodging bitch"

david mumbling "chancellor of the exchequer" in small font

when the horne section was doing macarena on catsdown and the rose was so limp WHY WAS IT SO LIMP

the greatest breath smeller game

"this makes me so angry because they wouldn't show the clip of me attacking my mother with a taser! i thought it was really funny!"

josh groban being an absolute wizard at singing intros followed by martin freeman being an absolute wizard at guessing them to the point production asked him to slow down giving the answer because he was too good

when stacey solomon said she likes teresa may and jimmy carr, gino d'acampo, and carol vorderman were absolutely speechless

alex’s reaction after joe says he has pineapple in his ass

when jimmy used the 30 seconds to wax his leg??

the way the queen’s pussy being haunted was like genuine headline news

mark sending greg 148 texts and getting 0 points ("what a terrible waste of time")

when that nude model came on for jimmy to (pretend) to live draw and lee mack was so gobsmacked at that man's penis he violently elbowed david o'doherty going "look at that!"

"you wouldn't do that during shakespeare, would you?"

on outsiders when joe wilkinson couldn't believe david mitchell is only 47 and literally said "do you live outside"

phil wang roasting ed gamble and saying "ed's girlfriend is such a dog i tried to eat her"

"you cannot imply that only gay people eat vegetables"

♪ but bin men get sad ♪

when those podcasters were reading joe wilkinson his own tweets and he was sweating so much and then just covered his eyes and went "what's wrong with me..."

"stephen fry wouldn't read 'pussy-friendly finger'"

when johnny vegas was literally eating a tin of fucking dog food and kathy burke was like "what's happening??" and jimmy so nonchalantly went "we're just eating dog food :)"

when noel ate some of alex's beard and greg said "you are aware that when we're at home alex is only allowed to move around like a snake?"

every joe & rachel hug ever here's a cute one :')

claudia completely bodying this lie and everyone's animals being so cute and funny and rob and lee complaining just the whole thing

on rhlstp when richard was Being Richard for the last hour and louis theroux was Over It and richard went "have you ever tried to suck your own cock?" and louis just died and then muttered "...do we have to..."

"i don't really eat potatoes it feels a bit irish :/"

johnny vegas pulling something out of rhod gilbert's pants, sniffing it, and then scandalising the entire room by saying "i've been told i smell better from behind than i do from the front, lovers have told me"

gosh my rotted brain is always rattling around panel show moments ..i wish to be cured

[fairuzfan]

Can you help me break down my family's arguments? It's just that they're on Israel's side

And they say that Palestine deserves what is happening

Their arguments are:

"But Hamas started, taking people hostage, raping women and killing children. Israel is just fighting back. If someone did the same to you I would kill their family."

"But the hospitals on Palestine are Hamas' bases"

"But cutting off energy and telecommunications in Palestine is just to prevent Hamas from communicating"

"But Gaza is a place promised by God to the Israelites, Israel is taking what is rightfully theirs"

"But Hamas was trying to make an exchange between the lives of the hostages and Gaza with Israel and Israel did not accept it because Gaza is theirs, and Hamas should have released the hostages instead of exchanging their lives"

Hello, thanks for asking. I'm going to generalize these arguments a little more just to make it more widely applicable.

"Well Israel is just taking revenge/defending itself"

Well a couple things. Taking revenge is not an actual reason for people to attack other people. Just naturally, it's not a good ideology we should ever live by.

About claims that it's defending itself: Israel is a military powerhouse dropping TONS of bombs, I mean literal TONS. To say that anyone is defending someone with that level of ammunition and pure destruction, is just cruel. No one should experience that even in an equal footing type of war. Shouldn't we strive to protect people? Isn't it right to help others?

Now for your specific case, if they're arguing that they would "kill their family" as revenge, I'm not gonna lie, I think you're going to have to delve into that with them and dismantle that idea by emphasizing revenge is never justified.

You should center the humanity of Palestinians and emphasize that they should never experience such horror in their life.

"The hospitals are Hamas bases"

There is absolutely no evidence provided of this other than Israeli propaganda. I'd show them this video, which is a testimony from a European doctor.

There's also this pamphlet they released saying that they "know that Hamas is safe" and still willingly bombs the people of gaza anyways.

You should center the humanity of Palestinians and emphasize that they should never experience such horror in their life.

"Gaza is promised by God to the Israelites"

Why is it necessary to enforce one's religious beliefs on someone else? Why must the Palestinians experience violence in order for Israel to exist? Besides, if it was "promised" to them, does that mean God is allowing them to kill people indiscriminately? Does God, the most loving Being in the Universe, ever condone such acts of horrific violence on people? I speak as a Muslim that grew up being taught that Judiasm, Christianity, and Islam are quite similar religions, so I doubt that any of these religions would condone such large scale violence.

I'm not an expert of actual religious scripture of different faiths, so I can't provide quotes or anything like that, but I'd argue that God's main purpose in our lives is to remind us to love each other.

You should center the humanity of Palestinians and emphasize that they should never experience such horror in their life.

"Hostages—"

I'm not sure what the argument in your specific case is, but I think any argument having to do with hostages does not make any logical sense. Wouldn't Israel want to protect the hostages? Isn't bombing indiscriminately dangerous for everyone, but especially the Hostages?

But even hostages aside, Palestinians shouldn't have to suffer en masse! They've been sectioned off into the largest open-air prison for 20 years! It's just plain cruel to blame them for the genocide they face when they've been victims for 75+ years!

I'd recommend introducing them to this resource that explains the history of Palestinians from around 1948 to now:

There is also this that has scholarly research for and by Palestinians:

Let me know if any of this is useful. Good luck, and thank you for sending this in.

[thebeesareback]

Where to find multiple people from Taskmaster outside of the show

Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned: David Baddiel, Frank Skinner

Big Fat Quiz of the Year/Big Fat Quiz of Everything: Mawaan Rizwan, Judi Love, Noel Fielding, Dara O'Briain, Sarah Millican, Jo Brand, Romesh Ranganathan, Asim Chaudhry, Rose Matafeo, Mel Giedroyc

The Cleaner: Greg Davis, Asim Chaudhry, Sian Gibson

Cuckoo: Greg Davis, Asim Chaudhry

Doctor Who: Mawaan Rizwan, Ardal O'Hanlon

The Inbetweeners: Greg Davis, Joe Thomas, Susan Wokoma

Eight out of Ten Cats/ Eight out of 10 Cats does Countdown: Josh Widdicombe, Roisin Conaty, Romesh Ranganathan, Katherine Ryan, Richard Osman, Joe Wilkinson, Paul Chowdhry, Rob Beckett, Sara Pascoe, Lolly Adefope, Aisling Bea, Nish Kumar, Alice Levine, Liza Tarbuck, Jessica Knappett, Phil Wang, David Baddiel, Rose Matafeo, Daisy May Cooper, Johnny Vegas, Lee Mack, Morgana Robinson, Chris Ramsey, Judi Love, Sophie Duker, Fern Brady, John Kearns, Sam Campbell

Frankie Boyle's New World Order: Frankie Boyle, Sara Pascoe, Nish Kumar, Desiree Burch, Fern Brady

Feel Good: Mae Martin, Charlotte Ritchie

Fresh Meat: Joe Thomas, Charlotte Ritchie, Rob Beckett

Ghosts: Lolly Adefope, Charlotte Ritchie, Jessica Knappett, Katy Wix, Bridget Christie, Keill Smith-Bynoe

The Great British Bakeoff: Rob Beckett, James Acastar, Sue Perkins, Mel Gierdroyc

Hypothetical: James Acaster, Josh Widdicombe, Roisin Conaty, Liza Tarbuck, Phil Wang, Lou Sanders, Rose Matafeo, Guz Khan, Victoria Cohen Mitchell, Judi Love, Dara O'Briain

Have I Got News for You: Roisin Conaty, Dave Gorman, Mel Giedroyc, Nish Kumar, Alice Levine, Liza Tarbuck, Phil Wang, Jo Brand, Richard Herring, Desiree Burch, Munya Chawawa, Sarah Millican, Ivo Graham, Julian Clary, Lucy Beaumont

Off Menu Podcast: James Acaster (host), Ed Gamble (host), Greg Davis, Nish Kumar, Alex Horne, Dara O'Briain, Katherine Ryan, Joe Thomas, Joe Lycett, Lolly Adefope, Bob Mortimer, Jamali Maddix, Morgana Robinson, Bridget Christie, John Kearns, Keill Smith-Bynoe, Mae Martin

Outnumbered: Hugh Dennis, Katy Wix, Lee Mack

Late Night Lycett: Joe Lycett (host), Katherine Ryan, Daisy May Cooper

The Last Leg: Josh Widdicombe (host), Romesh Ranganathan, Lolly Adefope, Jessica Knappett, Johnny Vegas, Sophie Duker, Lucy Beaumont, Jo Brand, Frank Skinner, Joe Thomas, Katherine Ryan, Greg Davis, Russell Howard, Roisin Conaty, Aisling Bea, Joe Lycett, Victoria Cohen Mitchell, James Acaster, Sally Phillips, Nish Kumar, Alex Horne, Kerry Godliman, Phil Wang, Jamali Maddix, Guz Khan, Desiree Burch, Munya Chawawa, Susan Wokoma, Rose Matafeo, Kiell Smith-Bynoe

Miranda: Joe Wilkinson, Mel Giedroyc, Sally Phillips, Liza Tarbuck, Katy Wix

Mock the Week: Dara O'Briain (host), Hugh Dennis (every episode), Frankie Boyle, Josh Widdicombe, Romesh Ranganathan, Katherine Ryan, Al Murray, Mark Watson, Nish Kumar, Kerry Godliman, Rhod Gilbert, Ed Gamble, Desiree Burch, Chris Ramsey, Sophie Duker, Sarah Millican, Ivo Graham

Man Down: Roisin Connarty, Greg Davis, Mike Wozniak

Not Going Out: Lee Mack, Hugh Dennis, Tim Vine, Katy Wix

Parenting Hell: Josh Widdicombe (host), Rob Beckett (host)

Paul Sinhar's TV Showdown: Paul Sinhar (host), Rob Beckett

QI: Romesh Ranganathan, Katherine Ryan, Richard Osman, Dave Gorman, Sara Pascoe, Hugh Dennis, Lolly Adefope, Aisling Bea, Mark Watson, Nish Kumar, Tim Vine, David Baddiel, Jo Brand, Rose Matafeo, Johnny Vegas, Alan Davis, Desiree Burch, Victoria Cohen Mitchell, Bridget Christie, Dara O'Briain, Ivo Graham, Jenny Eclair, Julian Clary, Sue Perkins

Quickly Kevin, Will He Score?: Josh Widdicombe (host) (busy guy), Ivo Graham

Rob and Romesh vs...: Romesh Ranganathan (host), Rob Becket (host)

Russell Howard's Good News: Russell Howard (host) (obviously), Roisin Conaty, Romesh Ranganathan, Doc Brown, Joe Wilkinson, Aisling Bea, Iain Sterling, Lou Sanders, Ed Gamble, Chris Ramsey

The Russell Howard Hour: Russell Howard (host) (obviously), Paul Chowdhry, Jessica Knappett, Lou Sanders, Desiree Burch

Would I Lie to You: Richard Osman, Bob Mortimer, Phil Wang, Rhod Gilbert, Joe Thomas, Lou Sanders, Sian Gibson, Jo Brand, Katherine Parkinson, Lee Mack, Sarah Kendall, Desiree Burch, Ardal O'Hanlon, Judi Love, Munya Chawawa, Sarah Millican, Lucy Beaumont

Very Modern Quests: Alice Levine, Greg James, Joe Lycett, Phil Wang

Enjoy!

[ghostbird-7]

Categories of taskmaster contestant

Old and could not give a fuck if they were paid (and they are), delightful- Jo Brand, Alan Davies, Hugh Dennis, Richard Herring, Julian Clary, Frank Skinner, Frankie Boyle

Young foppish man who is inexplicably and hilariously into it-Ian Sterling, Ed Gamble, Chris Ramsey

Oddly capable and also I’m super gay- Sophie Duker, Bridget Christie, Aisling Bea, Mae Martin

Makes you feel delightfully like you’re on acid- Lucy Beaumont, Sam Campbell, Bridget Christie, Bob Mortimer, Mike Wozniak, Fern Brady

Young whippersnapper who’s having an absolute ball of a time- Alice Levine, Lenny Rush, Lou Sanders, Sian Gibson, Rob Beckett, Sara Pascoe, Joey Lycett, Lilly Adefope, Katherine Ryan

Lost their fucking minds- Rhod Gilbert, Joe Wilkinson, Liza Tarbuck, Daisy May Cooper, Katherine Parkinson, John Kearns

[yesterdayiwrote]

After reading @vro0m's post suggesting Grill the Grid should take on a Taskmaster format, please have my ‘not entirely definitive’ list of Which Taskmaster contestant the 2023 F1 grid would most be like...

Max Verstappen : Kerry Godliman - Wants to win. Doesn’t want you to know how much they want to win. Until you tell them he’s done it wrong and then he argues the rules with you incessantly. Probably loves a laminator. Bosh, done.

Sergio Perez : Paul Sinha - Should be really good at this. Is getting a bit old though and inexplicably fucking the whole thing up. Is really trying but just permanently perplexed about how this isn’t going better for them.

Charles Leclerc : Judi Love - Is trying really hard, still not quite understanding what they’re being asked to do but not wanting anyone to realise how confused they are. Most likely to ask ‘Is there a duck on my face?’

Carlos Sainz : Joe Thomas - Is also very confused, but slightly less chaotic with it, not exactly hiding how confused they are, just openly having a breakdown while their brain stops working. Liable to suddenly argue back about how unfair it is and how hard they’re trying.

Lewis Hamilton : Liza Tarbuck - Knows what they’re doing, minimal fuss, just gets on with it and ends up winning everything. Is starting to get mildly irritated you’re asking them to do it still, decreases effort throughout proceedings, yet still somehow manages to do really well

George Russell: Mel Giedroyc - George is Mel. Rushes into every task with enthusiasm. Highly competitive. Tackles every task with a cacophony of Britishisms spilling from his mouth in place of swear words to hide his frustrations, whilst simultaneously congratulating the crew on what great tasks they’ve come up with. (There is also a really strong argument for Ivo Graham here. Bringing big Eton energy but slightly more angsty about his failures)

Lando Norris : Nish Kumar - Is trying really, really hard. Is also failing really, really hard by failing to notice generally what’s going on around him.

Oscar Piastri : Richard Osman - Just getting the tasks done in a calm, sensible manner. No bells and whistles, just taking it all in his stride.

Esteban Ocon : Jessica Knappett - Goes rushing in to everything with enthusiasm and positive energy and falls face first into failure. Tall and lanky and just very happy to be here.

Pierre Gasly : Iain Stirling - Tries really hard, really wants to win, but you can’t shake the feeling that you’re watching a Love Island episode whenever you watch him attempt anything (just for wildly different reasons).

Fernando Alonso : Rhod Gilbert - Quietly confident of their own abilities. A bit of a lone wolf and hates team tasks because he just wants to win for himself. Has an uncanny knack of finding a loophole and winning tasks thanks to some dirt he has on the taskmaster from many years ago.

Lance Stroll : Paul Chowdhry - He’s not entirely sure how he’s ended up here, or what he’s supposed to do, but he’s giving it a go anyway. Appears unenthusiastic about everything but actually wants to win, just with the least possible effort he can muster.

Valtteri Bottas : Hugh Dennis - Very calm about everything, even his own failures. Actually not that worried about where he comes, just happy to be taking part. (Valtteri would actually be Fred the Swede but he’s not a contestant so he can’t be)

Zhou Guanyu : Charlotte Ritchie - Appears like they have it all together. Calm and softly spoken, yet strangely chaotic when given a task. Seems really eager to please but kind of low key stressed and anxious. (A certain element of Sophie Duker or Mawaan Rizwan entirely for the great fits though)

Yuki Tsunoda : Fern Brady - Is very stressed about everything and would very much like to go home for a big sleep because being competitive is exhausting

Daniel Ricciardo : Joe Wilkinson - Chaos. Full stop.

Nico Hulkenberg : Lee Mack - This is one of the harder ones because he could be any of the ‘uncontroversial older guy’ contestants. Went for Lee because he’d probably keep dropping dad jokes in there but not a total chaos demon. Just does…fine?

Kevin Magnussen : Ardal O’Hanlon - Similar to what I wrote for Nico but with a bit more chaos and confusion thrown in, but just politely smiling his way through it. (See also Alan Davies)

Alex Albon : James Acaster - Has a severe dislike for whoever organised this, would quite like it to be over. Would also like to win. Doesn’t want to look desperate with it but is actually trying very hard. Is very angry that he’s not winning and ends up ranting about how unfair it is to hide his disappointment.

Logan Sargeant : Desiree Burch - American. (Look, I ran out of ideas for Logan I will admit)

[remidyal]

Fantasy High Characters and the Taskmaster Competitors I think they'd be most like

This is something that's meant to appeal to myself, @wrenrix, and maybe like two other people but hey!

Riz: Josh Widdicombe, season 1. High energy and also short.

Gorgug: Richard Osman, season 2. Bigger than everyone else, surprisingly good at lateral thinking, and overall very effective.

Kristen: Fern Brady, season 14. Cheerful, eager to be there, and also says completely mad things from time to time.

Fig: Morgana Robinson, season 12. Good singing voice (by Taskmaster standards), charming, absolutely willing to go all out to harm Alex if needed.

Adaine: Jo Brand, season 9. Can't be bothered with any tasks that don't strike her interest, but an actual god at Horse or Laminator.

Fabian: Iain Stirling, season 8. Loud and bragging and maybe regretting that after the fact some, and also definitely falls on his face when he most shows off. (See getting run over by the Hangvan twice.)

Ragh: John Kerns, season 14. Less for the sad parts, and more for the shockingly strong performances at anything physical.

Aelwyn: Rhod Gilbert, season 7. Less worried about winning and losing than about being funny and mean to Alex and Greg, and also a borderline maniacal level of disregard for dignity, health and safety, and rules.

Jawbone: Bob Mortimer, season 5. I thought about Mel for Jawbone, but decided the completely impossible stories overrode the niceness factor.

Gilear: Joe Wilkinson, season 2. This yogurt tastes like potatoes in a golf hole.

[steelycunt]

moments from british comedy panel shows i think about regularly. a masterlist compiled for my own benefit

qi they say of the acropolis where the parthenon is

bob mortimer would i lie to you we do beg your pardon but we are in your garden

eight out of ten cats christmas special carrot in a box

taskmaster rhod gilbert hiding in greg davies wardrobe until sunrise

qi they never named the giant tortoise because people kept eating it

eight out of ten cats jimmy carr tax evasion episode

taskmaster mark watson nish kumar im always seeing you do cool stuff

eight out of ten cats sean lock spine in a bag

eight out of ten cats does countdown sean lock rectum of the year

would i lie to you kevin bridges we accidentally bought a horse

taskmaster mark watson text challenge

taskmaster joe wilkinson potatogate

david o’doherty would i lie to you making leg warmers for birds

[dovand]

P.G. Wodehouse characters on panel shows

Because I had A Thought in the jerver (Jeeves x Wooster server) and had to expand it to Many Thoughts, owing to my normalness about both Wodehouse and britcom :)

Long & incredibly niche post (x"D) under the cut!

Preface: Characters covered vary and I may not be entirely accurate as I have not consumed as much Wodehouse as I'd like. Polite discussion entirely welcome (and, in fact, desired)!

QI

Jeeves would do well fact-wise but, owing to the fact that he does not watch the show and thus does not understand the format, would, on attempting to make a joke, be klaxoned to hell and back (possibly via goading by Alan). Unless he very carefully managed to dodge the goading he would not win and would be very bitter about it

The Elves would absolutely adore him btw. There'd be a behind the scenes photo of him looking puzzled/slightly scared while the Elves who are there on filming days all pose around him and grin at the camera

Would never forget to use his buzzer (regardless of how embarrassing it is) because he feels bad about interrupting. Would be very much unnerved by Stephen (obviously) and perhaps a little intimidated by how flamboyant he is. Aisling Bea would like him I think

Wooster would have no idea what was going on but would be endearing enough to make up for it entirely. Sort of like Johnny Vegas. He would have to be stopped forcibly from going on long rambling anecdotes a la Gyles Brandreth. If the host is Stephen he will not be paying any attention to anything being said the entire evening. Might win entirely by accident because he's saying nothing remotely relevant & thus is never klaxoned. (Though tbh he might have a heart attack before even starting the show on account of seeing a man who appears pretty much to be Jeeves wearing colour!)

Would get along well with Bill Bailey I think—agents of chaos the both of them. Alan would make fun of Wooster for being posh (a la the way the panel usually makes fun of Stephen). Would do very well on live demos. Stephry would adore him & he would not know what to do with it ("why is campier Jeeves so enamoured of me?"). Sandi would LOVE him. Might bring a blue whale plushie along for emotional support

Ukridge (and here my Wodehouse knowledge starts to thin) would very confidently be very incorrect but would be so charismatic about it that the Elves would forget to klaxon him until he was done speaking. Almost Rhod Gilbert-y levels of accidentally-on-purpose annoying (see: Rhod claiming that it gets totally dark at night in Denmark for like 5 minutes). Gyles Brandreth-levels of ability to talk at length. He starts spontaneously filibustering in the middle of the episode

8oo10cdc

(A.K.A. 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, but the full acronym is so much more fun)

Jeeves wins. Obviously. He would be guest team captain I think, and he would absolutely carry. Jon would be awkward the whole episode because he's being outperformed by this weird posh guy. The jokes about Jimmy being weird and non-expressive and android-like would be redirected at Jeeves and he would just kind of stare blankly at them

His mascot would be something very simple or something very strange/non-humorous (like. Not even a lucky fancy pen, just a fancy pen that writes well that he can use for the working-out). He'd get the conundrum immediately

If Joe Wilkinson was on to do A Bit you'd be able to see him looking confused in the background the entire time

Wooster is hopeless. Maybe if he's on a team with Jon or Jeeves he'd be able to scrape some points but, realistically, he's drawing on his paper the whole time. He takes to the mascot-ing with abject glee & does very well with that. Panel is not sure whether to make fun of Jimmy or Wooster for being posh. Russell Howard would like him

Would be delighted by a Joe cameo. Would be very polite when requesting his letters and/or numbers. Would delight Susie Dent

Ukridge is in Dictionary Corner fucking shit up. If he knows how to work PowerPoint then he's got a PowerPoint to back up his little bit of standup; if not he's got hand-drawn posters. Nobody is quite sure what he's talking about. There's something about ungulates in there. Possibly a mention of cellular respiration. He spends the whole episode asking Jimmy for money. He gets on with Joe.

Corky, for reasons* that go entirely unexplained sits quietly next to Ukridge in Dictionary Corner for the whole episode. He is not mentioned by name once. People in the YouTube comments are asking who the weird silent guy is & if anyone else can see him & if it's some avant-garde Bit that they're doing. Someone says they wish that they'd've tried this Bit out with Jimmy

(*He's emotional support)

Archie Moffam starts crying

Mock the Week

Wooster is entirely unfamiliar with current events. Lends a Milton Jones air to the whole panel. Dressed similarly to Ed Byrne; they are both made fun of for wearing waistcoats

Jeeves is not asked onto the show because he would start doing actual fully-fledged political commentary and being so good at it that nobody would feel comfortable interrupting him

Ukridge would have either Egg Scramble (i.e. Ed Gamble) or Milton Jones vibes for reasons I cannot explain. Would get distracted by the flies & start trying to catch them in his hands

Corky is too soft-spoken to get a word in edgewise

Would I Lie To You?

Jeeves has an excellent poker face & ability to distinguish truths from lies, rendering him excellent at parlour games. Unfortunately he does not understand what there is to be enjoyed in them & as such is only invited on for one episode. He does get into a good little argument with David about something horribly pedantic, though. Also Rob makes fun of him by doing his O.O face into camera and Jeeves entirely misses it

Wooster is great at telling stories but horrible at lying. Everyone loves having him on because he tells a captivating story but it's so so easy to tell when he's lying. Might team up with Lee to annoy David. Rob really likes him. Starts spinning on his chair when they're doing pick-ups, distracting everyone

Ukridge is pretty good at playing. His comedic rant abilities rival David's, except he's not actually really trying to be comedic. All his stories end up being about Schemes & he writes them down during the episode planning to try them. People think this is a bit. It is not.

Only Connect

Jeeves is far too literally-minded for the connecting board but he does remarkably well on the rest of it. Victoria pokes fun at him the entire episode for being posh. He does not notice

Wooster's mind works in such mysterious circuitous ways that he's actually rather good at the connecting board. Unfortunately he is bollocks at the rest of it

Big Fat Quiz

Jeeves does not do very well. Too much pop culture for him

Wooster also does not do very well. His mind is like a sieve except the sieve has very big holes. Or maybe even no holes tbh. So basically his mind is like a sieve if you took the mesh out and all you have left is the metal loop around the top. Essentially he remembers nothing about anything. He brings homemade* sandwiches for the snacking segment. He is goofy & delightful enough that he does quite well be he is not invited back on account of performing so terribly. He does wear a spiffing outfit for the occasion though

(*i.e. Jeeves-made)

Ukridge does surprisingly well. He does start talking about his schemes though. He tries to get Jimmy in on them. He does not succeed

Corky is apparently the only chap who reads the newspapers. He does quite well!

Reggie Pepper also reads the newspapers but he is too busy being inexplicably hot while phoning people from bed so he only gets the barebones of most stories

Taskmaster

(I don't know if this really counts as a panel show, but what the hell.)

Jeeves takes everything literally and is very polite to Alex during all of the tasks. His prize tasks are almost all underwhelming except for one that is accidentally genius. He is so single-mindedly focused during studio tasks that he looks like he is about to murder someone the entire time. Surprise tasks/extra rules that he didn't notice prompt him to stare blankly into the middle distance. Greg is baffled by and attracted to him in equal measure throughout the season. The fanbase is very starkly divided on him. He probably wins the series but not many episodes

Wooster is a sort of Mike Wozniak figure. Endearingly baffled the entire time. Moves in an odd but captivating manner. Committed to the bit. Starts telling anecdotes while he's meant to be doing tasks. Absolutely delights Greg. Is probably lifted up in a studio session at least once (a la Jacaster)

Archie Moffam continues crying

Ukridge wears his mackintosh to studio sessions. He is overly familiar with Alex, who looks despairingly into the camera every time he is manhandled or asked to help with a Scheme. Every prize task is either an opportunity to get Greg in on a Scheme, or to offload things he does not need from previous unsuccessful (i.e. all) Schemes. He gets second place and is pleased as punch about it

That's about all I have at the present moment. Perhaps I'll update with more characters once I've ventured further into the House of Wode. Tootle-pip for now!

[danglovely]

Ranking Taskmaster Series

15. Series One

Even the worst series of Taskmaster is really good. The show hadn't figured out how to maximize the in-studio dynamic yet, so it comes off a little awkward. Tim Key constantly trying to cheat and Romesh Ranganathan obliterating a watermelon is still good television.

Best Task: Eat as much watermelon as possible.

14. Series Three

Alex and Greg are always consistent, so series quality becomes highly dependent on how memorable the tasks are and how how good the cast is. This series was a bit forgettable on both counts, but I'll never forget Rob Beckett's surprise for Alex.

Best Task: Communicate to your teammates the names of these films, books or TV programs.

13. Series Six

Iffy cast chemistry and tepid task designs. The standout moment comes because Lisa Tarbuck thinks showing love means making someone sit in a cake. Long live Team Funk (Alice never agreed to that name).

Best Task: Get the highest score in darts.

12. Series Four

This is definitely an unpopular opinion. This series has so much going for it with Hugh Dennis trying to find a loophole in every task and Mel Giedroyc naturally being the victim of three solo tasks due to relentless optimism. While the moments are good, I'm not sure the whole amounted to more than the sum of its parts.

Best Task: Put as many different things in the bathtub/Seal the top of this bathtub with cling film/Fill the bathtub with water.

11. Series Two

A shorter series and one where the show was still finding its footing. It probably would be lower if not for Joe Wilkinson. The first contestant to realize very early on that he wasn't going to win brought us Potatogate, a lovely scramble platter, and the knowledge that there's strength in arches.

Best Task: Place these three exercise balls on the yoga mat on the top of that hill.

10. Series Seven

Another unpopular opinion, it really speaks to the quality of the show that I have potentially its most popular season so low. James Acaster refusing to acknowledge Alex, Jessica Knappett falling off the stage, Phil Wang's pendulum. What brings this series down for me is twofold: (1) Kerry Godliman's constant indignant anger at perceived unfairness and (2) Rhod Gilbert's abuse of Alex and Greg -- funny at first, wore a little thin after awhile. Rhod still managed to steal the series with the finest workaround on the show.

Best Task: Tie yourself up as securely as possible.

9. Series Fifteen

Fifteen seasons in, it feels like show doesn't benefit from the contestants having watched so much Taskmaster. Mae Martin knew every trick coming in, and they built a lead that was as expert as it was uninteresting to watch.

Best Task: First to complete a line or four corners wins.

8. Series Nine

A lot of intriguing stuff going on here. This is a cast that just genuinely likes each other, but it also brings some of the most contrasting energies to the table. Ed and Jo are polar opposites in scale of competitive energy while David can always be counted on to find the worst way to approach a situation. The only reason this series isn't higher is the lack of standout task design.

Best Task: Put the most gold rings on this drumstick.

7. Series Thirteen

This is the first series I ever saw and it's a gem. Every contestant almost feels understated in how brilliant and hilarious they are. Judi Love is the best last-place of all time; Bridget Christie is the wild card we never knew we needed in our lives.

Best Task: Get the most ducks in Alex's basket.

6. Series Fourteen

I always seem to prefer the contestants that come in last over those that come in first. John and Fern were so fun and Dara was so weirdly intense. This would normally make for a mixed series if they hadn't completely exploited that dynamic by putting them all on a team with each other.

Best Task: With your hands on those hips at all times, put the most sand in the shopping trolley.

5. Series Ten

Johnny Vegas and Daisy Mae Cooper are top tier Taskmaster contestants, but I really love this series for the location tasks. Printworks is just a dark and amazing setting. Plus, Mawaan tried to fill an egg with helium in hopes that it would float.

Best Task: Complete the most tasks. There is one task behind each door.

4. Series Twelve

Couldn't this series let everybody win? We have an Alan Davies Wow Monster, Desiree pulling off the worst task performance of all time while always looking collected. Victoria learned how to ride a bike on national television and Morgana showed why being chaotic is a strength. I welcome any number of new revelations from Guz in the lab.

Best Task: Pop the balloon.

3. Series Eleven

Mike Wozniak elevates the series by himself. Lee was a big get for the show, Jamali's antagonistic relationship with Greg is fun, Sarah and Charlotte are delights. However, Mike is a unique pleasure and any series with him in it is bound to be one of the best.

Best Task: Say the word "metronome" between every tick of this metronome.

2. Series Five

This is what many believe to be the best series of the lot and they're not wrong in doing so. Bob Mortimer and Sally Phillips are legends for obvious reasons. Mark and Nish pleasantly bond over the underdog roles (despite Mark almost winning). Aisling brings her own level of unhinged energy. The tasks are on point and this cast just jives. It's a tragedy it didn't get ten episodes.

Best Task: Eat one item, throw one item, balance one item. 1. Series Eight

My favorite series is one of the least popular for one reason: Iain Stirling's competitive rage. This doesn't bring me down though -- The show has a hypercompetitive contestant almost every season (you could argue Lou Sanders was even more so) and everyone there seemed to genuinely like Iain (He and Lou are friends and Paul said he received an unfavorable edit on the podcast).

But mostly it just can't overcome all the good. It is a unique delight to watch Joe Thomas constantly be baffled by his own existence; the trainyard is the best location task setting the show has ever done; Paul Sinha in a phone booth. Throw in some unique Japanese theming and some peak task design -- at least for me, Series Eight reigns above.

Best Task: Get as close as you can to Alex without him noticing you.

[burlveneer-music]

Godtet +Strings - dub jazz goes cinematic with the addition of a sting quartet

Recorded live in concert with an acoustic string quartet in a colonial-era gaol during VIVID Festival in Sydney 2022. GODTET is: GODRIGUEZ: guitar. ANDREW BRUCE: keys. DOMINIC KIRK: percussion. JAN BANGMA: bass. TULLY RYAN: drums. Strings: Novak Manojlovic: Composer, conductor, additional synthesiser. Jack Ward: Cello. Phoebe Gilbert: Viola. Lydia Sawires: Violin. James Armstrong: Violin. Auxiliary live effects and soundscape: JACK PREST Recorded live in concert at Cell Block Theatre, National Art School, Darlinghurst, on June 1st 2022 Photo: TOM WILKINSON Design & Lettering: LUKE EBERT

[panelshowsource]

britcom comedians & panel show personalities who share your sign

AQUARIUS ♒ dara ó briain • frank skinner • glenn moore • guz khan • hugh dennis • lucy porter • maisie adam • mark watson • phil wang • vic reeves

PISCES ♓ aisling bea • alan davies • dave gorman • ed gamble • jenny eclair • katy wix • michael mcintyre • rose matafeo

ARIES ♈ andy parsons • desiree burch • ed byrne • gary delaney • jamali maddix • john kearns • josh widdicombe • josie long • roisin conaty • romesh ranganathan • rory bremner

TAURUS ♉ al murray • alex brooker • catherine tate • greg davies • joe wilkinson • john robins • mae martin • milton jones • morgana robinson • rhys james • rob brydon • sally phillips • sandi toksvig • sean lock • stephen mangan

GEMINI ♊ alan carr • bob mortimer • david baddiel • fern brady • judi love • julian clary • london hughes • mel giedroyc • noel fielding • paul sinha • rich hall • richard ayoade • sara pascoe • sarah millican • shappi khorsandi • sindhu vee • tom allen

CANCER ♋ adam hills • alice levine • david mitchell • katherine ryan • harriet kemsley • ian hislop • jack whitehall • joe lycett • paul merton • peter serafinowicz • phill jupitus • rosie jones

LEO ♌ bridget christie • cariad lloyd • chris ramsey • daisy may cooper • frankie boyle • isy suttie • lee mack • jo brand • nish kumar • victoria coren mitchell

VIRGO ♍ alex horne • dane baptiste • darren harriott • ivo graham • jimmy carr • johnny vegas • lolly adefope • miles jupp • nina conti • stephen fry • sue perkins • tim key

LIBRA ♎ diane morgan • harry hill • jack dee • jon richardson • limmy • nick helm • rhod gilbert • robert webb • tiff stevenson • zoe lyons

SCORPIO ♏ angela barnes • chris addison • elis james • ellie taylor • holly walsh • liza tarbuck • jonathan ross • kerry godliman • kevin bridges • matt forde • mike wozniak • sofie hagen • susan calman

SAGITTARIUS ♐ adam riches • david o'doherty • jessica knappett • larry dean • miranda hart • richard osman • seann walsh • simon amstell • steven k. amos

CAPRICORN ♑ ahir shah • angus deayton • bill bailey • claudia winkleman • james acaster • mark lamarr • paul foot • rob beckett • suzi ruffell

[thepeopleschampionofchampions]

Round One Polls Begin Tomorrow!

I've seeded the contestants by their percentage of votes in the first round and used a tournament bracket generator to match up contestants so apologies if your faves are up against each other right away- blame the numbers!

Once again I'm doing this round in two parts, so Round One: Part One will go live tomorrow (Saturday 11th March 9.00 AM GMT) and Part Two will go live the day after (Sunday 12th March 9.00 AM GMT)

Keep reading if you want to see the match ups in advance.....

Round One Part One (Saturday) Mike Wozniak vs Noel Fielding Rhod Gilbert vs Alan Davies Tim Key vs Jon Richardson Joe Wilkinson vs John Kearns Mawaan Rizwan vs Alice Levine Judi Love vs Bob Mortimer Liza Tarbuck vs Mark Watson Nish Kumar vs Joe Lycett

Round One Part Two (Sunday) Joe Thomas vs Guz Khan Sara Pascoe vs Charlotte Ritchie Fern Brady vs Romesh Ranganathan Rob Beckett vs Victoria Coren Mitchell James Acaster vs Bridget Christie Ed Gamble vs Sophie Duker Rose Matafeo vs Iain Stirling Mel Giedroyc vs Katherine Parkinson