#Gets his ass beat by a giant bug (twice)

[beastoftheblackhole]

‘Godzilla Vs Mothra’, or ‘Godzilla just has the worst fucking day of his life’

[revchainsaw]

Bumblebee (2018)

Good Evening worshippers, and welcome! Today the Cult of Cult goes a little more mainstream than usual. It's been a while since i've tackled a big Hollywood superhero film. But I do believe that these sorts of films will be remembered fondly my small groups of people in the future, especially the smaller films that are being overshadowed by the big bad MCU, films like 2018s Bumblebee.

The Messsage

Bumblebee was originally released as a prequel to the Transformers franchise that had started all the way back in 2007. However, reboots had really hit the market as a way to breath new life into struggling franchises, and the Transformers series had already gone to just about every absurd extreme you could imagine. No changes were made to the movie as it was released, but with it's more childish and heartfelt tone, and a new aesthetic that was softer, smoother, and all around just generally more pleasing to the eye, I think it was a wise choice to rebrand Bumblebee as a new beginning.

Our story is of two friends from two very different worlds and how they came together. Our first character is Bumblebee, then known as B- number sign/it doesn't really matter. Not yet Bumblebee is a soldier set with securing a safe location for the Autobots to regroup and make their home as they suffer a pretty serious defeat on cybertron at the hands of the tyrannical Decepticons. Optimus Prime, here again voiced by Peter Cullen and looking so much more like himself, assigns this task to Bumblebee promising him that they will meet him there when the time comes. Then Optimus fucks off for the rest of the run time making way for our little hero.

Bumblebee lands on Earth and is immediately set upon by John Cena and his military goon squad. It probably would have been wise for Bumblebee to avoid John Cena but in his defense, he couldn't see him. Hardy har har. In his attempt to flee his voice box is damaged, he seeks sanctuary by taking the form of a run down little VW bug, and suffers from amnesia.

Then we have Charlie. Charlie is not like other girls. She likes cars, all the retro music, which wasn't retro when the movie takes place, so I'm supposed to just think she's a rocker but it kinda seems like she'll listen to just about anything. I think in 2018 liking Motorhead and The Smiths (who are used ad nauseum in this movie) is perfectly common, but I feel like in the 80s that was a much different and much older attitude to take.

Anyway Charlie's poor family lives in a super fucking nice house and are poor because the dialogue keeps insisting they are so it must be true despite all the shit they have that actually poor people would sell blood and teeth to attain, but hell, this is Hollywood and Hollywood poor is like regular people upper middle class. Charlies family is so poor that instead of giving her a one time graduation/birthday present to buy a part for a car she already has, they just give her a moped, She also spends all her time at a pull apart where the manager (who might be her uncle that wasn't super clear) is willing to just give her a Volkswagen so I don't understand why she didn't already have the project car up and running. Whatever, it's a plot contrivance. All you need to know is that Charlie is tenacious and hard around the edges cuz her dad is dead and she's not yet mature enough to process that in a healthy way. Maybe her character arch will teach her to let others in, we'll have to find out.

There's also a wacky nerd named Memo, and some bad guys, and John Cena. They are all also pretty archetypal and contrived and don't really do anything of note that isn't just filling a beat that this kind of movie needs to walk. Charlie starts Bumblebee up, discovers he's a robot and the two begin to bond. Charlie learns to make a friend, and bumblebee is learning about himself. They get into hijinks and get revenge on a bully girl who makes Regina George look like a saint, she pretty much only picks on Charlie exclusively for having a dead dad.

The moment Bumblebee is woken back up, some technology goof em up that both he and Charlie are unaware of brings two Decepticon baddies into the picture. I don't remember their names, but since I love The Venture Brothers let's say they can be "Jet Boy and Jet Girl". Jet Boy and Jet Girl are sometimes cars, sometimes various flying military vehicles, and they make friends with the deep state and plan to get all the adrenochrome from all the orphans, or just to go find Bumblebee and beat his ass good cuz their bad guys. Let me tell y'all though, Jet Boy and Jet Girl are so bad that they don't even care that the government is listening when they reveal that they are planning on bringing a Decepticon Invasion and after they rough up Bumblebee real good they are going to destroy all life on this planet. So they start by killing a military scientist.

John Cena is after Bumblebee and he's homies with Jet Boy and Jet Girl until the military scientist butt dials him and he hears the evil plan. John Cena goes from heel to face and helps Bumblebee and Charlie save the day. It's a giant CG clusterfuck climax a la any superhero film in the last 10 years and I basically stopped watching. BumbleBee pulls a Hellraiser on Jet Boy, and then he hits Jet Girl with a freaking boat. Charlie uses her diving skills do dive down and save him, but he's a Giant Robot and he was okay and it was literally pointless for her to to except as a way to show that her character has completed her arch by doing the thing that was representative of her connection with her lost father.

Bumblebee turns into the Camaro from the first movie, meets up with Optimus prime, and the stage is set for this prequel to squeeze more prequels out. So it wasn't very creative, but was it bad? Let's find out.

Please Stand to receive the Benediction.

Best Aspect: Transform the Franchise

Bumblebee was directed by Travis Knight of Laika fame and it shows. This movie marks a stylistic change in the transformers franchise, as in it doesn't look like utter dog shit, but it also represents in many ways a tonal shift. It does hold on to a lot of gross sleaze that has unfortunately been forcibly jammed into the DNA of the franchise but it also attempts to be a more heartfelt entry. The characters of Bumblebee might all be sort of a waste of time, but at least they are doing something with emotions, even if the emotions of the characters are only explored as deeply as a children's cartoon I'm glad they are there. In the previous installments the only thing the characters did between running from action piece to seizure inducing action piece was drool over underage girls like a bunch of chimpanzees at the facility where they test experimental E.D. meds. It was nice to see that at least somewhat tampered. This transformers movie feels more like it's for kids and young teenagers, and strangely that more friendly tone makes for a much less juvenile product.

Worst Aspect: Remember I Love the 80s from the 2000s

I hope you really like Stranger Things. I do, but because Stranger Things was so successful it' s going to be everywhere. Not true Stranger Things just 80s nostalgia porn. This 80s nostalgia is going to be forced on you whether you like it or not, and it's not going to be fun. It's gonna be in your shows, in your music, in your Sunday like Bacon in 2010. It's that or Marvel Franchise Brand Whedonisms. Bumblebee is that brave movie that says, "Why not both?" It would seem fitting that a property as quintessentially 80s as Transformers should feel completely comfortable doing a period piece set in the 80's but it's so fucking half hearted it's depressing. It wasn't done to appreciate the roots of the IP, it was done to cash in on a trend and it feels it. All they did was throw up a date and insufferably force an 80s soundtrack down your throat as if that was enough to convince you that this movie needed to be set during this time. Other than that you could have told me this film was set in 2007 and I couldn't tell you any different.

Best Character: Charlie's an Angel

I liked Charlie. Sure her Arc is predictable, her taste is dumb, and she isn't exactly a master of her own destiny to any degree. But at least she is a woman in a transformers movie who's got something going on. Sure she's defined entirely by grief, but that sure is better than pretending that being able to work on cars is a feminist character trait instead of a weird fetish thing. They certainly do that thing with Charlie, but at least it's not the only thing they throw at the wall. Bumblebee is by no means out of the woods in this department, but it garners a lot of goodwill for trying. Like a racist uncle who just started his journey out of ignorance, but hasn't yet realized he has to stop asking mortifying questions to the barista at Starbucks. Okay, maybe that's an extreme metaphor. I'm saying that perhaps Charlie is not a great character but she's a great character for a Transfomers movie.

Worst Character: It's JOOOOHHHNNNN CEEEENA!!!!

Why is John Cena in this movie? I don't hate the guy, but his character seems pointless. You could remove him from the movie completely and replace him with any one of the random military goons at any point and it changes nothing. What was with that dumb salute at the end? It seems like they put him in this movie in post and it was just to pump up cast list. I wish he was given anything to work with. I can't remember his characters name, and it's not like John Cena did a bad job, I was just annoyed every time they kept giving him hero shots. I felt like I was watching a trailer for a different movie.

Best Actor: Optimal Primo!

Every time Peter Cullen speaks I want to listen. There's a reason they haven't had Chris Pratt or somebody with a bigger name come in and take over the role at this point. He's why the audience keep coming back. Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime, and there's no changing that. He also wins twice. He's the best actor in the movie AND he's barely in the movie. Good call Peter.

Worst Actor: Mean Girls 2, Meaner and Girlier

I don't want to be cruel so I'm not going to go into to much detail, but there's an actress in this film who's performance is so mustache twirlingly evil and stupid that it ruined my suspension of disbelief when i knew going in that i was about to endure a 2 hour toy commercial about robots that turn into cars. Beldar Conehead was a more convincing human being than Tina.

Best Effect: Goo Be Gone

I really appreciated when the bad guys shot the government nerd into a blast of snot. That was pretty fun for me. Best part of the movie hands down.

Worst Effect: Live Action?

Bumblebee is a cartoon. It's a great looking cartoon but it doesn't sell itself that way. If we were doing a Roger Rabbit thing I'd have no gripes. However, I think CG is just getting worse. I'm criticizing this and it's still lightyears better than the previous entry's on the franchise. No transformation or fight sequence in Bumble Bee had me straining to make sense of what I was looking at. I think it was a great idea to start using some basic shapes and outlines to these characters, and return somewhat to their 80s designs. But at certain points, especially when there were no humans in the shot, i was pretty convinced I was watching Clone Wars. There may not be anyway around this, as the Transformers concept might not be able to be pulled off in any more effective manner. It's a minor gripe, but I just didn't think it looked like anything other than a very expensive cartoon, and in this franchise that's a compliment, because it least it looked like SOMETHING!

Best Scene: Space Opera

I am not a Transformers fan. I missed the boat on the cartoon as a kid. I would sometimes catch it at friends houses but I was more into Batman, Star Wars, and Ninja Turtles. By the time I came onto the scene the world had moved on to Beast Wars. I did one day arbitrarily decide that my favorite Transformer was Sound Wave. He looked great in this. I am a big fan of the return to form with a lot of the character designs in this. They really did keep the things that worked from the other adaptations, and they are steadily removing the things that didn't. For this reason, the scenes on Cybertron, particularly the battle with Soundwave (i prefer for personal reasons) looked great and were exciting to watch. I remember thinking Cybertron used to look like a Marilyn Manson shot a music video from inside to dumpster. This is so much better.

Worst Scene: Blocking the Box

There's a scene in Bumblebee where Charlie's family decides the best way to save their daughter was to cause a pile up of vehicles in an intersection, and it's pure contrived writing that saved any character in that sequence from being killed in a horrific traffic accident. It was stupid, played for laughs, and it wasn't exciting as much as it was anxiety inducing. I also thought that there was no reason the covert military group covering up extraterrestrial life wouldn't just disappear this family of fucking morons in their little piece of shit car. The logic of the scene was just so childish like, "No they won't hit me, I'm a good person."

Summary

Bumblebee may be remembered fondly in a decade. I think especially if the Transformers franchise were to end here. It didn't get the publicity of the other films, and that really is a shame. For my money, this was the best Transformers movie so far. I was very tempted to give Bumblebee a C, it does just enough to right what was wrong from the other movies to make me appreciate all that work. This movie has heart, and if you are at all into Transformers then l think you should see it. It's still pretty stupid, and pretty basic. It's not offering anything new to the genre, and it feels like a commercial for more movies. I really wish we could just get movies that want to tell a story. I thought it over and decided that it wasn't fair not to grade Bumblebee on it's own merits. Bumblebee is substantially better than the films that preceded it, but that's not saying a lot, when the films that preceded it are joyless exercises in self abuse.

Overall Grade: D

[soundofseventeen]

Play It Again (Lee Chan)

Happy birthday to my (and our) soulmate @peachy-hoon​!!! There aren’t enough words to convey how much we love and adore you and the 3M/Trash Royals wouldn’t exist without you. Thank you for....everything, really! 

Word count: 3065

Inspo: Play It Again

Chan wondered why he was here tonight. He could’ve been at home in his favorite pajamas, stuffing his face with popcorn and shielding his eyes as the next jump scare popped up on the screen. Instead, he was sipping a beer with his friends in a parking lot behind an American themed style restaurant his friend Joshua worked at and in the midst of the conversation between Jeonghan and Seungcheol, he wondered why the Americans were so strange. 

He knew Joshua was born and raised in the famous Los Angeles, California, home of the celebrities, endless beaches and endless beach parties. Chan would’ve understood if he had gotten a job at a surf shop or anywhere that required being outside to remind him of home. But Joshua’s job as a waiter required him to dress like he was going to a rodeo….one that he had only seen in the movies.

Any other time Chan would’ve laughed at him, but tonight they were in the same boat. He looked down at his outfit, feeling too warm in the jeans too heavy for him and the boots that suffocated his feet. He didn’t even wanna think about the ten gallon hat on his head nor the handkerchief around his neck. But it was a party and the only way to get in for free was to look like a cowboy. At least he didn’t stand out, but he felt like a fool nonetheless. Maybe he was at a county fair. He wouldn’t have doubted it with the way the American country songs he couldn’t even understand blared over the speakers, the hay littering the entire place and even the way the vague scent of manure carried around. (Which in his opinion crossed the line a little.) At least the food was good, the barbecued stuff especially and the cold bottle wrapped around his hand wasn’t too bad either.

He couldn’t tell if he was enjoying himself with the way he caught up on his life with his friends or if he was passing time until it was acceptable to go home. He laughed at their jokes, even spitting out some of his beer when Soonyoung gave an accurate impression of Jeonghan, and he had to turn around to compose himself. However, he just wanted the comfort of his couch, swaddled in his favorite blanket and go on about his life until he felt it appropriate to go out again. That is, until he saw you sitting on the tailgate of someone’s pick up (he couldn’t believe how far these owners went to give it the Western country feel but he was impressed), laughing at whatever someone was saying, which he pinpointed as Joshua. Your hand was on his shoulder, clearly amused and Chan wondered if Joshua was there to work or actually flirt with you when he could’ve done so off the clock.

“You wanna go over there?” Vernon motioned when he noticed Chan staring.

“I’m fine here, but you guys can go if you want.” Maybe he wasn’t as subtle as he thought.

“Let’s go,” Seungcheol ushered the small group that had formed. “I have to talk to Joshua about some missing dishes that disappeared last time he was over.”

“Channie, when was the last time you were in a relationship?” Jeonghan asked casually, slinging his arm around the youngest boy’s shoulder.

“The last time was when Hoshi hyung got his ass beat by Woozi hyung in that tournament. I think?” He ran forward a couple of steps when he heard Soonyoung right behind him, hearing the older boy complain about how Chan was never supposed to bring that up ever again and he laughed as loudly as his lungs let him. He honestly felt like he was in high school again; the only difference was that he could legally drink now. He turned around, walking backwards, taking a swig of said alcohol. “Why?”

“I happen to know someone who’s single.”

“I don’t know who you bribed, but I’ll have to decline. Again.” He saw that you were finally alone and you looked up to meet his gaze. He liked the way your face broke out into a wide smile and you waved at him (and them) enthusiastically. If only his heart could calm down a little, that’d be great though. But then Joshua came back with two plates of food and he felt a little disheartened. Which was good in a way. At least he wouldn’t try to steal you away from him.

“Your loss,” Jeonghan shrugged. “I’m hungry. You, come with me.” He grabbed Seungcheol’s wrist and dragged him away from the group, the oldest whining that he could’ve taken someone else because the fine china in question was more important. Soonyoung then excused himself to buy another beer, saying he’d be right back with Seungkwan following behind him, begging him to buy him one. It was just him and Hansol and he wasn’t sure why his nerves were getting the best of him. It’s not like something was gonna happen.

“Are you still interested in buying that guitar we saw the other day?” Hansol asked, making conversation. He took off his own cowboy hat and fanned himself with it, blowing out a huge gust of air.

“I wanna but I keep thinking if it’s worth the money. I dance and create new dances. But I want Joshua hyung to keep teaching me without having to borrow his.” Chan just realized in that moment that he really had no other hobbies. Friends, yes...but things to do? Not really.

Hansol nodded, throwing the hat back on. “I get you. What if I help you find one?” He raised his hand to wave. “Joshua, hey! Hi, Y/N!”

The giggle you let out may have melted Chan’s insides and forgot about the instrument. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. He really had to snap out of whatever trance you managed to put him in. Especially with one of his best friends in the picture. “Hey! Nice night, huh?” He figured he could at least afford to sit next to you, right? He handed you the beer bottle, placed his hands on the tailgate and jumped up. 

“It’s too hot,” Vernon whined. “Josh, I don’t know how you do this every night.” He pulled the bandanna around his neck to prove his point.

“I get paid enough to suffer. At least I think I do.”

“Joshua, you’re such a baby about this most days. I tell you not to go all out, but ask him if he listens.”

Joshua stuck his tongue out at you. “Well you never listen to me. But anyways, I need to go find my boss and ask him about my pay. Come on. The inside of the restaurant is a lot cooler than in here.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” Without missing a beat, Vernon grabbed the employee by the flannel and dragged him away.

Chan jumped a little when you tapped him on the shoulder. “Want some? If I have any more of these ribs, I’m gonna puke. Joshua swears if I don’t eat every few minutes, I’m gonna yell at him.”

“Maybe he’s just being a good boyfriend,” Chan shrugged, the last word making him internally choke.

“Joshua Hong? My boyfriend? I hope you’re joking.” You threw your head back and laughed. “Oh my god, you’re too funny!”

“Wait, you’re not dating? No way.” He couldn’t stop the giant grin from forming. There’s no way you couldn’t have been dating him.

“Nah, he’s just hoping I can set him up with one of my friends. This is just him trying to bribe me.”

“So you’re not gonna help him out with that?”

“Don’t need to. The feeling’s mutual, but he can’t really see that and I’m not gonna tell him. Anyway, I heard about your new job. Congrats!”

“Ahh yes. It’s every man’s dream to run a cash register and have people threatening me for doing my job.” He downed the last of the drink. Maybe water would be good from here on out. If another bottle didn’t get him buzzing....then surely your laugh would. God, you had such a cute laugh. Chan didn’t know how long he stayed talking to you, nor that his friends had basically ditched him and watched him, but he didn’t care. He felt on top of the world; like he was immortal; like he could take on any challenge possible and he could win blindfolded with one arm behind his back; like-

“Oh my god!” you screamed, jumping off and bringing Chan back to the present moment. “This is my song! I kept bugging Joshua about playing this!” And before Chan could register anything more, you had pulled him off the tailgate. “Come on Chan! I wanna dance!”

Luckily, his reflexes were faster than his current state of mind so he managed to follow directions. Somehow between the spinning around and the music that suddenly seemed too loud, he managed to pull you close (making him more nervous than he already was), and be in the moment. “Wait, how do you know this song?” he asked.

“Joshua and Vernon play it a lot when we hang out. I guess it got stuck in their heads and when I heard it, I fell in love.”

Chan couldn’t understand the words, but he saw your eyes and the faraway, dreamy look they held and maybe it wasn’t too bad. He liked the way you moved easily with him as if you were reading his mind, and he liked that you couldn’t stop singing along and he liked that no matter times you kept looking away every time you looked at him, you couldn’t stop looking at him. Man, he was in trouble. He wasn’t expecting it to end so soon, nor when you suddenly kissed his cheek and pulled back with a smile. God, he just wanted to yell to whoever was in charge of the music to play it one more time. It seemed like his night couldn’t get better. He couldn’t believe that he almost missed this for a scary movie he could watch 100 times.

“Joshua, play it again,” he heard you whine to no one in particular, which he found both endearing and humorous.

Was he falling in love with you? He could feel his heart beating out of his chest because you hadn’t moved away from him nor had you let go of his hands. It felt too warm for him now. He was sweating and he just wanted to fan himself to cool off but he couldn’t move; he didn’t wanna break whatever spell you cast on him. At least, not yet anyway. 

“Hey Chan?”

“Yeah?” He swallowed. Part of him wanted you to confess your feelings for him so he could remind himself to breathe again...but he also wanted to have this moment forever just in case he was misreading the signs. Mostly, he just wanted to kiss you now but he had to hold back.

“I think your friends ditched you.” You let go of his hand to point out the fact that his friends were indeed leaving the parking lot, trying not to look like they left him behind. “Asshole...Joshua did too. There goes his date.”

He snickered. “I didn’t know you could be so petty.”

“He said he wasn’t leaving without me. But joke’s on him; I have his house keys.” Sure enough, you pulled them out of your pocket and laughed. 

Maybe he was going into cardiac arrest. His heart was beating faster than ever. He could feel his cool composure slipping every time you did something he considered cute and even though he liked it, he couldn’t get used to it. “I could...um t-take you home i-if you want-t.” Oh god; he was stammering now. He wasn’t even sure how you managed to make him nervous. Oh my god….what if you rejected the idea. He really just blurted the idea out. Wait, what if you weren’t even ready to go home? Oh my god, you were probably thinking that he couldn’t wait to get rid of you, and that wasn’t even the case! Wow, you really made him nervous.

“I mean, if you don’t mind...I wouldn’t say no. I have an early shift tomorrow and my boss will kill me if I’m late.”

Or maybe he really had to stop overthinking things. “Come on then. Just show me the way.”

*

Okay, maybe he didn’t plan on you living on the outskirts of town or even the way the radio played absolutely nothing that catered to his taste so late in the night. If only his car had the Bluetooth system or even something that could provide an aux cord but nope, he couldn’t afford that yet. He was lucky he even made it this far since the last time he had a job.

And he certainly didn’t anticipate you falling asleep somewhere along the way. But at least it prevented that awkward silence or him oversharing some embarrassing story just because his nerves didn’t let him focus. He probably would’ve blurted out how he couldn’t believe Joshua didn’t have a crush on you, no offense to your friend. Or maybe he would’ve been too forward and asked you to marry him or something. Something told him he would steal all the stars in the sky for you and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

Chan continued changing the stations to keep his mind empty with the exception of finding a song or station that would satisfy him. They all played the same tunes, censored the same words, talked about the same topics so it was a lot harder to find something he’d like. He came across a couple of songs in French, one in Spanish, four in English and a shit ton of kpop which made him smile. 

In another lifetime, he figured he could’ve been one of those idols who won fans over with his charming smile and sweet words. He was modest about his dance covers but he effortlessly kept up with even the hardest choreography. Maybe then, he could have your attention but he wasn’t sure that’d work. He’d be busy and he wanted to have all the time in the world for you. Maybe a kpop idol wasn’t his best bet for that. He’d try again in his next lifetime. Right now, he was happy where he was.

When Siri announced he was here, he gently shook your shoulder to wake you up and you swatted him away. “Y/N, you’re home.”

“Two more minutes,” you mumbled and you were lucky he had nowhere else to go the following morning.

He let you be and turned his attention back to the stations, each time more unsatisfied with the last. He needed to be smarter and at least invest in buying some CDs even if they were outdated. The radio, Chan could conclude, sucked more everyday than when he was a kid. And yet he still searched.

 An explicit rap that sounded better when the curse words played...a catchy pop song that he would eventually come to hate because it would be overplayed...he was pretty sure this was a Japanese song he heard at the mall once...a throwback from when his parents were his age...a commercial for tires….more pop songs he could tolerate at the moment….this sounds like Y/N’s favorite song….a jingle that would probably be stuck in his head tom-wait…was it? No it cou-....it was your favorite song.

Chan slowly turned to you, still fast asleep and he tried one more time. “Hey, I found your song.”

“They don’t play it on the radio...” You frowned a little, trying to fall back asleep.

He turned up the volume, patiently watching the way you woke up rather quickly when you finally recognized it. “Oh my god! This is my song! We’re hearing it again! Chan, here it is! It’s playing!”

He couldn’t stop that smile from spreading from the way you moved in your seat. “Let’s go on a date next Friday.” Oh crap...that’s what he was afraid of. The no filter and the way you stopped dancing. Maybe he should just lie down in the middle of the street and pray someone would run him over. If he just got out slowly…

“Sure...I’ll ask my coworker to trade me shifts.” Though you weren’t looking at Chan when you agreed, he could see that smile on your face and how you touched your cheek. 

Oh my god, you were adorable and he was in love with you. “Would I get bonus points if I learn to play this song for you? Joshua hyung has been teaching me how to play the guitar these last few weeks…”

“If you learn to play this song-” That smile on your face that just widened at the thought said it all for him. He was gonna learn it and he was gonna woo you with it and he was gonna make sure you thought of him every time it played.

“We have a deal.” He watched you get out slowly, him turning the volume up as high it could go so you could hear the whole thing and not caring if the neighbors complained about the noise. You were the happiest person in the world right now and he wasn’t gonna take that away from you; not now or ever. 

You were already at the front door when you ran back up to Chan’s window and tapped on the glass. “Yes? Did you forget your keys in here?” He turned on the light and looked at the seat which he didn’t find. “They’re not-” His sentence was cut short with you grabbing his cheeks pressing your lips to his and kissing him giddily and pulling away just as quickly. “Thank you.” 

Despite him fumbling with his seatbelt and nearly falling over on his way out,  he managed to kiss you properly with the dumb song he couldn’t understand a word of still playing and the soft wind blowing, the headlights being the only source of light in the cool night and he wished someone would play it again to keep kissing you.

[quickeningheart]

Twenty-Four

   "You guys got back awfully late last night," came Charley's idle comment at breakfast the next morning. "Where'd you go?"

   Alley paused, fork in mouth, as three pairs of curious eyes turned her way. Behind her, she could almost feel Stoker's smirk. She affected her best casual air. "No place special," she mumbled around her fried eggs. "Just took a drive around the city and then walked a bit."

   "Crashed a wedding," Stoker added, making her choke on the eggs.

   "We did not!" She glared over her shoulder. "They didn't know we were there, remember?"

   His eyes crinkled as he grinned. "You're a pretty good dancer. You only stepped on my toes twice," he teased.

   Cheeks growing hot, she turned her back on him. "'Cause your big feet kept getting in the way," she grumbled, shoveling more eggs into her mouth.

   "Hmmm…" Charley waggled her eyebrows. "You do know what they say about men and big feet, right?"

   The mice exchanged confused glances. "Nope," Stoker admitted. "What do they say?"

   Alley slapped down her fork. "For heaven's sake, Charley, don't encourage him!"

   Her cousin laughed, and Alley decided she'd had enough breakfast. "I'm done," she muttered, getting up to take her plate to the sink. She turned to leave the room, only to be brought up short by a tug on her ankle. She glanced down to find the tip of a metal tail had snaked around it, holding her in place. Her glare snapped up to clash with Stoker's impish gaze and she pursed her lips with displeasure, raising an eyebrow.

   "Sorry, honey. It's got a mind of its own sometimes," he said, the very picture of innocence.

   "Yeah. And I'll bet it's attached to your dick," she snapped, yanking her leg free.

   Vinnie guffawed and Charley nearly spit out her coffee. Modo raised his single eye heavenward with a sigh, shaking his head. Throttle raised an eyebrow and peered at her over his specs, amused.

   Stoker just grinned and gave her a wink. "Cheeky brat."

   "Horny goat," she shot back, turning to stomp off to her room, their laughter following her.

     ~*~*~*~*~

   Alley tried to tell herself that Throttle wasn't really avoiding her; it was just coincidence that every time she tried to get him alone, he was nowhere to be found. She'd been trying for most of the week to corner him and talk, to no avail. As determined as she was to hash things out and get it all sorted, he seemed equally determined to ignore her altogether.

   Her frustration was reaching its boiling point, and on Friday morning, after spending nearly an hour searching for him—Really, how does a six-and-a-half-foot mouse just up and disappear?—she decided that enough was enough.

   She stomped down to the garage, where Modo and Vinnie were tinkering around in the engine of a beat-up minivan. Charley had decided to take Alley up on her suggestion of having the boys help out more around the garage, and had dragged in an old clunker of a van for them to work on. "If you fellas can get this thing up and running and not manage to blow up my garage in the process," she'd challenged, "then I'll know you're ready and able to take on the real work."

   Throttle was, of course, nowhere to be found. But his bike was parked right next to the other two in its usual spot, so he had to be around there somewhere. Right? Her eyes narrowed. "Anyone seen Throttle lately?" she asked with as much sweetness as she could muster.

   The two mice exchanged glances. "He was around a little while ago," Modo said.

   "Yeah, 'til Charley came in, sayin' you were lookin' for 'im. He muttered somethin' about somethin' an' took off like his tail was on fire," Vinnie added with a shrug. "Ain't seen 'im since."

   "I knew it!" Alley stamped her foot and muttered a string of words that made both of them raise their eyebrows in astonishment. "He's been treating me like a walking disease all week! I wanna know what bug crawled up his ass, and I wanna know now." She pinned them with a glare. "I don't suppose either of you could shed a light on the subject?"

   The bros exchanged uneasy glances. "You should be askin' Throttle," Vinnie mumbled, focusing his attention back on the engine. "I dunno nothin'."

   "Gladly! Any ideas on how to glue his feet to the floor? Seems like the only way I can get him to stand still long enough to talk! Is he pissed off at me about something?"

   "Nah, he ain't pissed," Modo denied. "I think he's feelin' guilty."

   "Because of … what happened the other night? Because of Carbine?" Her cheeks turned pink. "We didn't get that carried away," she complained. "It's not like we slept together or anything."

   "I ain't hearin' this!" Vinnie screwed up his face and stuck his fingers in his ears.

   Modo huffed. "It ain't 'cause of Carbine why he's feelin' guilty." He paused to consider. "Well, okay, maybe it is. A bit. But I think it's more 'cause of … well, that." He gestured vaguely at her, and she glanced down at herself, confused.

   "Sorry, I'm not following."

   "Those, ya know … the bruises all over ya," he mumbled.

   Alley couldn't be sure, but she suspected he was blushing. Vinnie definitely was; his ears had turned dull pink through the fur to prove it. Unfortunately, so was she, if the heat in her face was any indication. She sputtered, "What, haven't you guys ever seen hickeys before? The way he was—" She cut herself off, shaking her head. "It's normal! And most of 'em are faded already! 'Sides, I'm sure he's left plenty of 'em all over Carbine in the past!"

   "I ain't hearin' this!" Vinnie scowled at her.

   She scowled back. "Then little boys ought to leave the room until the grownups finish talking," she snapped, earning a laugh from Modo.

   "Look, I dunno what Throttle an' Carbine get up to when they're together, but considerin' she's covered in fur, whatever it is ain't so … so…"

   "So glaringly obvious," Vinnie finished with a snort.

   Alley felt like she'd been punched. "So, you're saying he's … what? Disgusted every time he looks at me now? Guess he should've thought of that when he was practically ravishing me by the lake!"

   Vinnie abruptly threw down the wrench he was holding and muttered something about root beer before stomping out of the garage. They watched him go for a second, before Alley shook her head. "He's gonna have to get used to it if he's gonna insist on dating my cousin," she said dryly. "I'm sure he'll be leaving his fair share of bruises on her in the future." She grimaced. "Actually, I kind've agree with him. Stuff I don't wanna know."

   Modo chuckled. "Those two'll be fine. As for you an' Throttle, it ain't that he's disgusted. Like I said, he's feelin' guilty. He ain't got experience with humans, ya know. Ya'll are so delicate compared to us. He probably thinks he hurt you. An' where we come from, any male hurts a female is the lowest sorta scum."

   Alley sighed and shook her head. "That dumbass," she muttered. "Why do I always manage to fall for the boneheads? My taste in men sucks."

   He raised an eyebrow at that, a corner of his mouth pulling up. "Guess you two really do gotta have a chat," he commented idly. "Ya look up on the roof yet? We don't go up there much in summer. Too hot. But with the weather coolin' down an' all, makes for a pretty good thinkin' spot."

   In point of fact, the roof was the one place Alley hadn't even considered checking, given it was flat, dirty, and held nothing of interest. And yes, much too hot during the day, especially for those rare folk who happened to wear fur coats all year round.

   "Thanks. I'll take a look," she mumbled distractedly as she turned on her heel to head up to the apartment, hardly hearing the amused "Good luck!" that followed her.

     ~*~*~*~*~

   Throttle was indeed on the roof. He sat cross-legged on top of the small metal utility shed that housed the building's breaker switches and several maintenance supplies. His back was toward her and, given that he hadn't even turned his head when hers appeared over the top of the fire escape, he must have been deep in thought.

   Or maybe he'd just fallen asleep; she couldn't really tell from that angle.

   Alley sucked on her teeth, pondering the best way to get his attention as she crept quietly over the ledge onto the roof. Shoving him off the shed felt like a good idea, but after a moment's thought, she settled for a more subtle approach.

   She shuffled at the gravel with one foot, searching until she found a suitable stone, slightly rounded from wear and not too large. Would have made an excellent skipping stone at the lake, she mused as she hefted it in her hand a few times, testing its weight. Ah, well. It was adequate for her purpose now. She drew back her arm, took careful aim, and lobbed it across empty space toward her target. She had just enough time to think she'd have gotten at least five skips out of that one, before the pebble inevitably reached its goal and bounced smartly off the back of Throttle's head.

   He yelped in shock and, to her delight, she had the added bonus of watching him fall off the utility shed anyway, landing on the opposite side. Score!

   He popped up in an instant, glaring around the rooftop, shades knocked askew. Surprise flickered when his eyes landed on her before the glower returned full-force. "What did ya do that for?" he snapped, rubbing his abused skull.

   "There," she sniffed, crossing her arms. "I just put a bruise on your thick head. We're even. Now will you kindly stop acting like such a jackass?"

   He gaped at her for a second. "H-huh?"

   She pursed her lips, eyes narrowing. "We need to talk."

   His expression shuttered and he turned his back to her again. "Ain't got nothin' to say," he mumbled. Then he yelped when a second pebble bounced off his skull. "Ow!" He glared over his shoulder. "Stop that!"

   "It's funny. All these weeks I thought you were a giant talking mouse, not a giant talking chicken dressed like one," she taunted.

   He glowered. "You lookin' for a fight?"

   "Sure!" She held up both fists. "If that's what it takes to get you to open your big mouth and talk to me, bring it! I can take ya!"

   He gaped at her … and then promptly dissolved into laughter, bending over and clutching his stomach in his mirth.

   She pouted. "Now who's lookin' for a fight?" she grumbled, dropping her hands to her sides. When he continued to chortle, she huffed. "Fine. Keep laughing. When I break your arm you won't think it's so funny." Of course that threat only served to make him laugh harder, leaning against the shed for support. Despite herself, her own lips started twitching in response. He looked so cute when he was caught in the throes of uncontrollable hilarity.

   His chortles finally died, and he leaned back to catch his breath, wiping his eyes under his specs.

   "Better?" she asked with saccharine sarcasm.

   He glanced at her, a snort escaping as his mouth started twitching all over again. At her glare, he managed to pull himself together, jerking his chin at the shed before hopping up to its roof again.

   Taking it as an invitation, Alley climbed the rusty ladder screwed into the wall, seating herself beside him on the roof with her legs dangling over the edge. "So," she began amicably, "why are you avoiding me? Is it because of the other night? I'm sorry. Maybe I should've stopped it sooner, but I was kinda … caught up in the moment." She blushed and glanced away. "I'd go back in time and fix it, but that's not really an option. So can't you just forgive me and move on?"

   "Th-that ain't why—I'm not mad at you," he sputtered, gaping at her.

   "Then why have you been skulking around acting like I've got some contagious plague all week? The only time I ever see you is when everyone is together. It's like you're afraid to be alone with me."

   He pushed up his specs to rub at his eyes in a tired gesture. "I already said I don't blame you for any of this. I'm the one who lost my cool," he muttered. "I got too carried away. I … hurt you." He looked down at his hands folded in his lap, shamefaced. "All those marks … I didn't know I'd been so rough with you."

   Alley sighed deeply, reached up … and calmly brought her fist to the back of his head.

   "Ow!" he yelped in shock. "Why do you keep hitting me?"

   "Because you seem to be permanently stuck in stupid mode," she said dryly. "I figured whacking the reset button a few times might knock you out of it, but it doesn't seem to be working."

   His jaw dropped, eyes wide behind his specs as he sputtered for a comeback.

   "Throttle, if you'd been hurting me, do you honestly believe I'd have let it continue?" she snapped. "Sure, you're bigger and heavier than me, but one well-placed knee to the groin would've put an end to it real fast. I doubt even big, tough Martian mice are immune to that sort of pain."

   He flinched, shifting away ever-so-slightly, and she chuckled. "But … I bit you," he reminded her, embarrassed.

   She considered. "Yeah. You did. That kinda stung. Don't do it again," she told him sternly. When he proceeded to look even more miserable, she rolled her eyes and gave him a playful shove. "I'm teasing, you idiot. Stop looking like I just kicked your puppy."

   He frowned and turned to stare out across the city. She gave his arm a shake to draw his attention back to her. "Look, the important thing here is that when I told you to, you stopped. There aren't a whole lotta guys I can say that about," she continued. "Most of the dates I've had, those guys wouldn't back off so easily. They could have definitely used a lesson or two from you on how to respect a girl's wishes."

   He shrugged, looking away again. "Their mamas didn't raise 'em right, that's all," he mumbled.

   "Their mamas didn't raise 'em at all. I suspect most of 'em probably crawled out of a sewer, given their manners," she joked, trying to get him to smile. It didn't work. She sighed and idly kicked her feet against the metal wall.

   "Why date 'em then?" he asked after a moment.

   She blushed faintly, shrugging one shoulder and looking away. "They asked. And they were all cute, so why not? I've always liked a pretty face. I'm kinda shallow that way," she mumbled, embarrassed to admit it to him.

   He considered for a moment before sliding her a sidelong glance. "This mean you think I'm cute?" he teased.

   She blinked at him, surprised, before a smirk touched her lips. "First off, what we had wasn't a date," she sniffed. "But … sure. You're not hard on the eyes." She gave an offhand shrug. "Once you get past all the fur."

   "Gee, thanks," he deadpanned.

   She smiled. "I wouldn't have made out with you if I didn't like you, Throttle."

   He glanced away, shifting uneasily. "What about Stoker?"

   Her smile disappeared. "What about Stoker?"

   "You two've been awful chummy lately, takin' all those late-night rides and all," he mumbled.

   Her frown deepened. "Well, yeah. It's part of the plan. Remember? That plan where I go into Limburger's tower, risking life and limb to hand over a set of papers that'll hopefully bring the next big bang to his planet?"

   "That ain't what I meant."

   She shook her head, confused. "This setup depends on Limburger believing that I weaseled the info away from Stoker, and to do that, he needs to see us together. As often as possible. So us going into the city and acting all … lovey and stuff is kinda necessary. But it's just a ruse. It doesn't mean jack. Besides, we haven't done more than hold hands. Well, he's walked with an arm around my shoulders once or twice. And there was the dancing that first night. But that's it! He knows not to push the boundaries."

   "Maybe not. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have his sights on you."

   Alley cocked her head. "Are you jealous?" she asked, a slow grin spreading across her lips.

   "What? No!" he yelped, eyes wide. "I just don't wanna go steppin' on anyone's toes, is all! Bros before babes. It's the Freedom Fighters' Code!"

   "How unbelievably sexist of you," she sniffed. "I suppose the 'babes' don't get any say in the matter?"

   "No, that ain't—"

   "What are you so worked up about, anyway? You have a girlfriend." Alley turned in her seat, crossing her legs under her to face him fully, expression serious. "Let me make it clear. In case you didn't already figure it out, I really like you, Throttle. Like, way more than any of those other guys I dated. There's this saying, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Well…" She blushed and glanced away, shifting. "You're my prince," she mumbled shyly. Upon seeing his astonished expression, she hastened to add, "But I don't have any intention of getting between you and Carbine! And I don't have any desire to be some stand-in for her until you can see her again. You are unavailable and I respect that."

   He tried to talk, but she held up a hand.

   "As for Stoker, he flirts a lot but … flirting is just flirting. And I can't really take him seriously when he acts that way. I don't dislike him, though. I respect him, and I certainly don't intend to play on his supposed feelings just because the guy I want doesn't want me back. That's a shitty thing to do to anyone."

   Throttle looked like he wanted to protest, but the rumble of an approaching truck caught her attention, drawing her eyes to the road. A large, bulky van was lumbering down the street, bouncing over the pitted ruts, swerving to avoid the worst of them. It started to slow as it reached the garage. "Oh. Charley's supplies delivery must be in. Guess I'd better go help her check them in," she said, getting to her feet. She suddenly wanted this conversation to be over, embarrassed that she had said so much. Had she really just told Throttle he was her prince? Like some sappy little teenage fangirl? She supposed she could be grateful that he hadn't laughed her clean off the roof. Ugh.

   She stretched the kinks out of her back, dusting stray rust flakes off her jean shorts. "Anyway," she said, turning to face him and forcing a smile to her face, "how about we both do ourselves a favor and just pretend this entire thing never happened, okay? Just put it out of our heads. We're friends, that's it. I don't make any weird advances, and you don't tiptoe around acting like I'm gonna jump your bones next time I see you. Deal?" She held out her hand.

   He gazed at it as he got slowly to his feet, his own hand extending. His fingers slid and meshed with hers, palms pressed together. Her heart skipped a few beats at the contact. "Maybe that ain't why I was avoidin' you," he murmured, his serious gaze meeting hers over the top of his specs. "Maybe I was just tryin' to avoid temptation." He stepped closer, eyes lidding. "Knowin' how you feel … it's makin' things mighty difficult," he added, his husky voice deepening to a low, sensual purr. "Maybe it's your bones you should be worryin' about."

   She sucked in a breath as his free hand slid into her hair. His thumb stroked lightly along her jaw and she unconsciously leaned into his touch. "Th-that's not fair," she protested around a shaky sigh. "H-how are we supposed to stay friends when you keep saying such unfriendly things?"

   She felt his heat as he stepped even closer, breath stirring her hair. "Maybe we ain't," he replied, before his mouth came to rest against her parted lips.

   He kissed softly, slow and gentle, and although she wanted to protest, she was helpless to act as he draped her arms around his shoulders, then slid his about her waist, pulling her close. His tongue dipped in, tasting carefully, and she was lost in his scent and taste and touch, just as incredible as she remembered. His tail snaked around her leg, and she decided that she was perfectly content to stand there and let him thoroughly seduce her on the hot, dirty tin roof.

   Unfortunately, the loud, highly-obnoxious clearing of a throat quickly put an end to that idea.

   They broke apart with startled gasps, panting for breath, staring at each other with wide eyes before turning reluctant gazes toward the fire escape.

   Alley was both gratified and annoyed to find Charley standing on the ladder, chin propped on the crossed arms resting on the ledge as she watched the show with raised eyebrows. "Sorry to disrupt, kids, but Stoker just brought home a very nice surprise. Thought you'd both like to know." Without another word, she clambered down the ladder.

   They glanced at each other, before Throttle hopped off the shed, reached up to lift her down, letting her slide along his body until her feet touched ground. She forced her shaky legs to move as she followed him along the rooftop to the fire escape, clambering down to her bedroom window and climbing in. He was already at the apartment stairs, and she hastened to keep up as he took them easily.

   There were people in the garage, she realized. Several of them. And she didn't know them. And every single one of them had fur and tails. She stopped dead in her tracks, nearly running into Throttle's back; he had also stopped to gape, looking as flabbergasted as she felt. "Who are they?" she whispered.

   One mouse in particular seemed to have caught his attention, his eyes locked on a small female with pale gray fur and long black hair. She turned to him, a smile brightening her scarred face at the sight of him. "Hey there, stranger," she called softly, and Alley felt an immediate sinking in the pit of her stomach. She knew who this was.

   "C-Carbine." The name slipped from Throttle's mouth on an astonished breath, and all the strength seemed to flood from his legs as he abruptly dropped to the floor.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 167

There’s about nine or ten days left before the Cell Games.   Dr. Brief is busy working on fixing Android 16.    He has specs from Dr. Gero’s lab, but they’re for android 17, and 16 has a completely different design, because 16 is truly an android, and not a cyborg like 17.    Meanwhile, 16 plays with Dr. Brief’s cat.    I’m not sure if it’s safe for the kitty to lick so close to 16′s open wound, but I’m not a robot or a robot doctor or a cat, so what do I know?

Bulma’s mom serves up cake.    Eat, drink, and be merry, I guess.  

Oolong and Roshi start stuffing their gross fingers into the cakes to claim them, and it’s pretty friggin’ gross.   Seriously, I’ve seen Frieza cut in half, but this scene is what really bothers me.    Those two can’t even eat that much cake anyway, so it’s just disgusting.   Chi-Chi is right to want to keep Gohan away from them.

The others all chill out and watch TV.   This looks like a pretty cozy scene.   

I really want to know what the deal is with this show.   

Vegeta can’t sit on the floor like everyone else because he’s the PRINSUVOLLSAYINS or whatever. 

Yamcha gets restless and decides to go outside to train for Cell.    Krillin offers to join him, and then Vegeta gives them shit for being no match for Cell.    Yamcha reminds Vegeta that he’s no match for Cell either, so maybe he ought to keep his mouth shut.   Yamcha’s like “Yeah, welcome to our world.”   And Krillin starts chanting “One of us, one of us.”

Then Bulma arrives, having returned from Kami’s Lookout, and she’s all anxious to see how Future Trunks is doing, to the point where she crashes into these guys. 

This whole part right here just bugs me.    I don’t like how Vegeta gets lumped into a comedy gag like this.    Why wouldn’t he just move out of the way?   Or simply murder Bulma before she could get near?    That’s kind of his bit, isn’t it?  Also, I don’t really see Bulma being this kind of character.    Chi-Chi, sure, but not Bulma.   It just feels off.  

She calms down once she knows Future Trunks is okay, and then Baby Trunks grabs onto his hair.    Everyone laughts.    Well, not Vegeta.   

Never mind that shit!   Here comes Cell!

This whole scene fucking rules.    Cell just smashes his way into a city, makes a giant hole in a TV studio, and when he puts his hand on the reception desk, it deforms as his hand moves towards it.     I’d call this Big General Zod Energy, except General Zod wasn’t anywhere near this cool in Superman II.   

He asks where they film the TV that gets broadcast all over the world, and the frightened receptionist tells him that he needs Studio B on the top floor.   Cell just floats straight up and the floors rip open as he moves towards them.    None of that elevator nonsense like in Movie 7.    Cell just goes where he wants, how he wants.   

Back at Capsule Corp, Yamcha slips on Krilin’s bald head.    Vegeta’s probably watching them from the window.     “They’re right,” he thinks to himself as he watches Yamcha plant his bare feet into Krillin’s face.   “I’m one of them now.”

Meanwhile, Roshi watches aerobics girls on TV, and I guess in Dragon World they film that shit live, because Cell floats up into the studio and ruins the shot.  

They change it to a cooking show, and he’s there too.    

Then they switch it to... I guesss this is some sort of stage musical?   I don’t understand how TV works in this world.    They filmed all of these shows in the same building, live, and aired them on three separate channels?   

I don’t know what this was supposed to be, but it’s not shown from Bulma’s TV, so maybe this one was being taped.   

Finally, he ends up at Studio B, and smashes through the anchorman’s desk.   

Hyperbolic Time Chamber Update: Gohan has a nightmare about Cell killing Chi-Chi and Piccolo right in front of him.    Holy shit!    How does he know what Cell looks like?    How did Goku know what the androids and Vegeta were doing while he was laid up with the heart virus?    

I was telling a friend of mine how this liveblog is helping me recalibrate for the fanfic I’m writing.   I didn’t think I needed it, but this helps me remember what it is I’m trying to work from.    I gave my Super Saiyan OC a lot of reasons to have trouble sleeping, and at times, I felt like that was kind of dumb and cliche.    But now I realize why I did that in the first place.    Nightmares and sleepless nights are par for the course for Super Saiyans.   The only reason we don’t see Trunks having bizarre prophetic nightmares is because he grew up in one.    Showing him sleeping poorly seems kind of redundant, you know? 

Turns out, Gohan had a fever, which isn’t too surprising, considering the extreme conditions of this place.    Once again, Gohan apologizes for not being good enough or strong enough to live up to the expectations he has for himself, but Goku’s totally cool about this.    Goku’s been there, after all.    More importantly, Gohan is far, far stronger than Goku ever was at his age.    To put this into perspective, Gohan probably just now turned 11.    Goku was 12 when Bulma first met him.    As much as Gohan looks up to his dad, I think the reverse applies too.   

Goku tries to tuck him in, and  Gohan murmurs something about his desire to protect the others.    Gohan’s laser focused on this.    He may not enjoy fighting, but he’s completely devoted to the mission.  

Back to business, Cell is here on TV to announce his new tournament, the Cell Games.   First he introduces himself as the monster who killed all those people in Gingertown, Nickytown, and elsewhere.   He says he no longer needs to feed on people, but he will be kicking the ass of everyone who shows up at his tournament in nine days.  

Is that Piccolo’s TV, or Tien’s?    Either way, I find it hilarious. 

Basically, the Cell Game only resembles the Tenkaichi Budokai in the sense that you can lose by giving up, or by falling out of the ring.   Otherwise, it’s a very different format.    Instead of an elimination bracket, it’s a gauntlet match.    Cell stands in the ring, and fights each competitor.    If he wins, the next guy steps up and he fights that guy, and so on.    The idea is to see how many of these fights Cell can win in a row with no time to rest.    In theory, the more fighters who show up, the better chance of them wearing Cell down.   

Perhaps most critically, lethal force is not illegal, as Chi-Chi speculated.  If Cell kills you, you lose, not him.   Frankly, that just makes sense.    In the Tenkaichi Budokai, the idea was to defeat your opponent, not murder him, so lethal force would get you disqualified.    

But the Cell Games are for the fate of the Earth.    If Cell wins, he plans to kill everyone on the planet.   So why should he spare his opponents?  Why should he disqualify himself if he accidentally kills an opponent?  

On the flip side, why should his opponents worry about killing him?    If there was a no-kill rule, and Goku managed to kill Cell, that would technically make Cell the winner, but who would care?   Also, what would happen if Goku managed to beat Cell by ringout?  Would Cell abide by the rules?   He never really explained what would happen if he lost.   I assume he just didn’t see that as a possibility, or maybe he expected his opponents to try to kill him no matter what, so it wasn’t important.  

I’m not the kind of Cell fan who spends a lot of time looking for ways he could reform, although I do feel like it’s a shame that he couldn’t see the value of sparing the Earth and making the Cell Games a regular thing.   Like, let’s say he held this competition, and he survives to the end, win or lose.    Wouldn’t it make sense to stage a followup tournament for next year?     If the Saiyans could give him good sport twice, why not a third time?   And then the Cell Games just becomes this annual event where everyone gets together to see how many fights this bug man can win.   

But the reality is that Cell’s too big a dick for that.    His perfect form was built on thousands of innocent victims, and his tournament ring is sitting on top of farmland owned by a guy her murdered.   He killed that news anchor right before he announced this game, and he closes his announcement by blowing up part of the city he’s in.    Yeah, Cell loves fighting, and you might talk him into doing Cell Games II next year, but he also loves terrorizing helpless people, and he’d be doing that for the entire year until the next event.   I suppose this is what sets him apart from Vegeta and Piccolo.

Anyway, everyone is suitably terrified by Cell’s announcement.    Cell is the first villain to announce his presence to the world since King Piccolo conquered it over a decade ago.   The Saiyan invasion was known to the world, but there was very little understanding of what was going on.   Goku’s role in that battle never made it to the news media, and the other Z-Fghters who did get televised all died in battle.    To the world at large, they just knew that East City got destroyed by aliens, then there was a battle in some remote location, a bunch of martial artists and camera crews died, and then the aliens were gone.   

This is something that’s always interested me about Dragon Ball, because I’m used to comic book universes where the main heroes and their adventures are well known to the public.  I guess Superman was sort of the origin of that whole idea, since he worked for a newspaper, and he was such a powerful character that it was big news whenever he did anything, even in secret.     In some of Superman’s earliest outings, he seemed very interested in keeping a low profile, like he didn’t even want people to know he existed, but the costume sort of undermined that idea.    Eventually, he settled into the formula of being a public figure, and then writing about his own adventures as Clark Kent. 

Other superhero franchises have followed that premise, although it gets kind of strained in places.  If Mr. Fantastic invented a flying car years ago, why does everyone in Marvel still use real world technology?   A lot of fantasy worlds try to sidestep that problem by having the super-powered characters exist in secret.    Harry Potter’s whole deal is that wizards are real, and they have a whole secret society going on under the nose of the rest of the world, although it’s not very clear why they felt it so important to do this in the first place.   The real reason is that J.K. Rowling wanted Harry to grow up in a normal household, instead of some parallel world where everyone knows magic is real.  

Dragon Ball sort of tries to have it both ways.     It’s mostly like the real world, but it can have advanced technology like the Hoi-Poi capsules and hovercars, and then there’s remote parts of the world where they don’t have those things.   Trucks with wheels are still a thing, probably because Toriyama likes to draw real cars and made-up cars and he saw no reason to have to choose.   As for Goku, he just goes in, whips ass, and leaves.    If there’s media attention for his actions, so be it, but he’s not interested in it, so he doesn’t pursue it.    One day the Red Ribbon Army got wiped out, and the world has no idea how or why.    One day, King Piccolo got taken down, and the world found out about it, but they knew almost nothing about the boy who did the job.   One day, Vegeta got sent packing, but he eventually came back, and no one knows who he is, or what happened in between.  

And Goku’s fine with that.    He sees no point in giving press conferences, or explaining What Just Happened to the rest of the people.    He’s a very minor celebrity for participating in the Tenkaichi Budokai competitions, but only hardcore martial arts fans would have heard of him.    I’m a pro wrestling fan, but I’d have to look up the last three winners of the G1.  

And maybe this is one reason I dig this show so much.    Over the years, western comic books have gotten increasingly mired in pointless details.    You look at the new Spider-Man movie that’s coming up, and the general idea seems to be that Spider-Man needs Nick Fury to tell him what to do.    That’s how the comics have been for decades now.    These days you can’t be a superhero without some government agent telling you which way to pull up your tights.    It’s bullshit, but the writers think it’s more “realistic” that way.    Come to think of it, pro wrestling fell into the same trap a while back.    It used to be that you’d turn on wrestling and they’d just show a bunch of matches, and it was taken for granted that some unseen authority booked the card.    Now every American wrestling promotion has to waste time on all these in-story CEO’s, general managers, commissioners, and assistant general managers, and they all argue over which of them outranks the other.   It’s dumb.   Just let them fight.    Dragon Ball’s gonna let them fight.   

[whatrealityisthisagain]

Ganesh

‘Neith the eclipsing moon I sat. Tiny dagger in one hand, plain carved wand in the other. A green candle alit, its flame flickering before me next to the small ceramic elephant purchased that same day. . . My eyes remained closed, so I could imagine a forest in front of me, around me. That’s how it was supposed to work. Imagine yourself in a forest the ritual said and imagine a magnificent elephant charging through the trees to you. When he reaches you, imagine the divine being lifting you onto his back with his trunk and charging through the thickened forest. As he runs, use the knife or anthem to cut the branches from your path - each branch an obstacle holding you back. I’ve never had problems imagining anything. I was picturing all of this crystal clear before reaching my little clearing in the outskirts of town. I went through the ritual in my head and before sitting under the full moon on the night of the lunar eclipse. I was even adding words to some of the branches when I pictured what I’d do when the time was right and imagined as some of them scraped across my skin while we charged through them, but as I sat there . . . no new image came to my mind. I tried so hard to see a forest around me, an elephant with majestic cloths draped atop him and strings of jewels decorating his godly form coming to me to aid me in cutting down my obstacles. To give me strength. But every time I tried to conjure a forest - it would flicker into view for a nanosecond, then return to the small canyon clearing I sat in. I gave up - I thought - but don’t remember if I opened my eyes or not. I was just staring off into the distant trees, a very small line of them behind the 3 or 4 spaced out around my clearing. I was getting ready to look back at the moon and watch my beautiful eclipse when I spied movement. I squinted into the darkness - my night vision is usually impeccable - and watched a large silhouette become more defined as it got closer. I just sat there in a stupor as the elephant approached me. Not a giant, decked out, glittering idle; but a plain grey elephant. He wasn’t draped in tapestries and colorful cloths, He wasn’t decorated in gems or golds. He was a medium-sized, naked, grey elephant with strikingly deep brown eyes. He was so much more beautiful than I ever dreamed possible. When he was in front of me, he turned back around and waited. I don’t know why, but I knew that I was to walk with him. He never spoke a word or made any other sign towards this conclusion. He just stood there and waited. So I got up and we walked. I didn’t know how to walk with a God, I’d never been around one before you see. So I tried to trail behind a bit, but he only slowed with me. We walked beneath the eclipsing moon, passed the few trees between my car and the thicket of trees. We walked slowly through the patches of dried grass, uneven dirt, and pockets of weeds. I could feel the rocks through my shoes, the bugs flying and jumping around me, and feel the cattails catch to my pants as we walked the short distance in silence. He never let me fall behind, I never tried to lead. We walked side by side, shoulder to shoulder (if my shoulder would reach his, the top of my head was lower than his armpit). It was all relaxing, calming. I was able to breathe at ease walking side by side with Ganesh. His mere presence giving me peace. It didn’t even take half a minute to reach the trees, and only took a second to venture through them into a shining oasis. Like crossing through worlds, it went from night to day; from a cold uneven clearing next to a water tower, to a beautiful spring with a diamonds glistening on its surface under the sun and beautiful long green and blue grass flowing with the breeze. 

“. . .”

“. . .”

“That was a lot different than what I imagined...” Were the first words to come from my lips. 

“How?” His voice wasn’t a thunderous boom, or full of frightening power.

“Well, you were supposed to put me on your back, and we were supposed to charge through a forest while I cut down all the branches. But instead of that, you walked with me...”

“Why do you think that is?” He replied with a glint in his deep brown eyes.

“Well, to be honest it felt like you had me walk next to you to say that I’m not above or below you, and wouldn’t let me walk behind you because I’m not more or less than you. It felt like you were showing me that I’m equal to you and that there’s no more strength you could give me that I don’t already have.” Would I be torn to pieces or abandoned for my arrogance at these words? Would he laugh and tell me how stupid I was? I couldn’t even believe that I was saying the words . . . to a God . . . even if he was just in my head. At this point, I was convinced that he wasn’t though. I never had trouble guiding my own daydreams or imagined escapes.

But he nodded. 

He Nodded! 

Then we sat there. 

We sat there in silent awe and revelry as we watched the bugs play on the water, and the diamonds shimmer ‘neath the sun’s warm gaze until it was okay to leave. 

When I opened my eyes, I was in a small clearing, I held a tiny dagger in one hand, a plain carved wand in the other. A green candle’s flame flickered before me next to the small ceramic elephant smiling up at me with a gleam in His eye.  

*******************************************************************************************

Fast forward to a dark day. Not because of the weather, but in my own thoughts and heart. A day where doubts were overwhelming me and family was making it worse. A day where I was curled on my bed barely able to breathe with tears burning my face until I was dried and too exhausted to do anymore. My elephant stared at me, and I stared back. “help” was all I could say, though it was barely a whisper. Then my phone rang. 

. . . 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, beautiful! How are you?” my friend said. 

“To be honest, I’m having a shitty day. Depression is kicking my ass, and my family is only making it worse.”

I explained to her the doubt I was being given, explained the hurt I was feeling, the lists I had written. And she gave me the most amazing advice! 

“Customer service their asses”

“. . .”

“Tell them you appreciate their feedback and will take it into consideration.” I wasn’t dry after all because I could cry tears of laughter no problem! And my Elephant’s eye even twinkled for a blink, just long enough to let me think I could have imagined it. 

*******************************************************************************************

A month after that, the darkness was back. The fear that my fighting was worth no reward, the haunting whispers of failure beating me back down a hole. My savings were almost gone, my bills still needed to be paid. I’d just taken my dog to the vet for an emergency bump, I was a hindrance to everyone, but couldn’t seem to find a new job. I wanted to scream, wanted to throw things and break them. “A little help would be nice” I said to the ceramic elephant on my little alter. A lot of good it would do, He may not even be real. And even if He was I wasn’t worth his time. There were nicer, more worthy people who didn’t question his existence. Besides, he’s already helped me enough, why would he want to help me aga-

My phone began to ring. Caller ID told me it was one of the places I had interviewed. I answered. I got a second interview. When the call was over, my elephant had a smug smile, his gleam was still present in his eye. 

My phone rang again. 

Another second interview. 

Then it rang twice more after that. 

My elephant almost looked like he was laughing, his eye giving its little twinkle as mine swelled with tears. I had 3 second interviews and one first. “Thank you” I told him, once again barely a whisper. A warming embrace seemed to engulf me. 

A week later, I had a job. 

-whatrealityisthisagain

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Episode 51 Review.

That time Yaito’s cheap security broke Meijin’s neck.

Just like his neck. ;P

The episode begins with a recap of Forte vs the Gospel beast, where he tries to fuse with it, but then suddenly blows up and Gospel reappears.

After the title card, we see Rockman in pain because of something going on with his arms that seem to be extending through his bodies.

We are reminded that his friends are trapped by Magnetman’s magnets, Gutsman tries to break free with no avail.

Ok, time out! Gutsman’s arms were free in the last episode.

What happend here animators?

Meanwhile, Magnetman and Elecman are still fighting eachother.

That cage must be bigger than I remember to have all of this taking place.

After Netto’s friends fail in pluggin out their Navis, Rockman begs Netto to use the Extra Code.

Going back to Elecman and Magnetman’s battle...

I talked about this cutted scene in an old post, poor Elecman is stabbed and then Magnetman stomps on his head.

Netto finally decides to use the HP+200, I mean, the Extra Code that fully restores Rockman.

And we get this other scene cutted from the dub where Rockman shoots at Magnetman in the head twice.

That’s Rockman’s revenge for all those kicks in the last episode.

Just like last time, the Extra Code activates the Aqua Custom Style and Rockman immediately fights Magnetman, and by fight I mean beating the cyber crap out of him.

So much hate for Magnetman! Of course this was cutted out from the dub too.

Netto sends the Spreader chips and the Aqua Custom style multiplies it to create the Hyper Burst Program Advance, however, Rockman’s body starts acting up again.

Magnetman tries to take advantage of this but Elecman holds him in place to make sure Rockman doesn’t miss.

As Magnetman and Elecman are slowly desintegrating, Netto tries to tell Elecman to let go, but the Count tells him to stay and both Navis are deleted.

Even though he lost Elecman, the Count thanks Netto for helping him defeat his brother.

With Magnetman gone, the magnets holding Rockman’s friends in place dissapear. The Navis rush over to where Rockman colapsed.

Just a small detail, but I like how Roll runs like a girl here. :)

Rockman’s data is slowly falling apart, conviniently, a portal opens and the Navis carry him out of there.

We then cut to Gauss who is begging for mercy from Wily.

Whaaaat? Who would’ve thought that Wily, the man who use Navis and people to do his evil deeds, was using Gauss all along?

We then cut to the Net Agents HQ with their Navis evacuating Internet City, not all civilians leave though, for Numberman decided to stay behind to protect Higure’s chip shop.

Numberman is trying to do something noble and Higure just doesn’t seem to care. Poor Numberman.

Netto and friends head to Yaito’s secret base to check on Rockman’s status, but his data is trying to seperate and Yaito tells them that they need a genius to help him, and that’s enough to summon Eguchi Meijin!

I’m not sure why they cutted this funny part from the dub, it happend to Masa at the beginning of episode 5. Maybe it looks like that thing broke Meijin’s neck. Anyway, you still have to wonder why would Yaito have something so simple as her security for the base, it makes the automanic lawnmower look cool.

Meijin explaines that Rockman has a bug in his system due to Forte scanning his memories.

Makes sense, I guess.

Meijin says that any regular Navi would’ve been desintegrated by now, but since Rockman was created by Yuichiro Hikari, Netto’s dad, he might be able to resolve it on his own. So all they can do now is wait and hope for the best.

Meanwhile, Gospel arrives at Internet city where the Otoko-maru from episode 47 makes a comeback, with Woodman and Skullman firing beams at the beast to get its attention.

With Gospel behind them, they pass in front of Higure’s Chip Shop where Numberman gets the biggest scare of his cyberlife.

I find Higure’s and Numberman’s interactions funny.

The Navis lure Gospel into the Net Coloseum where the Net Agents activate a force field to trap it, by using an easter egg extra code for Mega Folder+2.

I admit I almost missed that code.

While Gospel struggles with the force field, the Net agents surround the area with satelite dishes to activate what they call “Deletron”. As soon as Gospel destroys the force field they fire the Deletron.

During this, Meijin is trying to keep Rockman’s data from colapsing with no luck. The Net Agents raise the power of the Deletron but unfortunately, Gospel’s power creates some kind of shokwave that destroys the satelite dishes. The Net Agents’s PETs blow up, their Navis are consumed by Gospel and Rockman’s data disappears.

The Commander begins to lose hope, until Saloma and Miyuki alert him that a new powerful energy source is heading for Gospel.

ROCKMAN?! O0O

A new bad ass looking Rockman appears face to face with Gospel. Meijin explains that the bug combined with Rockman’s Ultimate Program created a new style change.

“I am promoting BN3, even though it’s a little late for that at this point”

Wily, who is watching everything from his monitor, wants Gospel to absorb Rockman’s Ultimate Program. Gospel attacks but...

Bug Style Rockman is compleately OWNING Gospel!

Rockman doesnt seem to be his self since he begins to absorb the bugs created by Gospel.

Gospel does a sneak attack on Rockman and captures him, it tries to absorb him but the Bug Style is way more powerful than expected because not only does Rockman absorb Gospel, but he quickly begins to absorb everything around him.

Even with Gospel gone, Rockman isn’t stopping, he continues to absorb data making the whole cyberworld dissapear.

Rockman seems to be struggling with the power, Netto decides to help him by...Uh... I’m not exactly sure what happend here.

I’m just as confused as you. Netto walks towards a bright light and is suddenly in cyberworld facing a giant Rockman.

Netto begs Rockman to wake up, but the giant Rockman is somehow able to grab Netto..

Both Netto and Rockman dissapear into the darkness until something happens, Internet City starts to regenerate along with all the Navis devoured by Gospel including Blues, Airman and Thunderman. Rockman’s Ultimate Program was able to restore the network.

Wily admits that his plan failed right before the robot he murdered in the last episode stands up and it is revealed that Forte is controling it. Forte walks away, Wily tries to stop him by grabbing his arm but it falls apart, which was cutted from the dub.

And the episode ends with Netto calling out for Rockman on his PET who then appears announcing that he’s home and everyone welcomes him back.

Awww.

What do I think? 

This was a great episode, from Count Elec finally defeating his brother to the whole net being destroyed by Rockman’s new power. This marks the end of the Gospel arc but the season isnt over, there are still five more episodes left.

This is the first and only time we see the Bug Style, the Bug Style is obtained when Rockman battles viruses while having a bug in his system when the player loads a program wrong in the Navi Customizer. In this form, Rockman can get diferent abillities depending on the various bugs you can create, such as having a barrier at the begining of a battle or being able to drain HP from enemies.

The ending makes you wonder what’s going to happen next now that Forte has gained the ability to exist in the real world. Personally, I think we didn’t get to know Forte very well in this season, he only spoke once and that’s not enough to understand his motives. I guess that adds a little mystery to his character since BN3 explains his true origins, even though the anime and the game have diferent storylines.

Something I didn’t understand was why Forte was obsessed with obtaining Rockman’s Ultimate Program in Stream and in the movie. It is explained that he wanted more power in order to counter Duo, the main antagonist of the season, but looking back at the first season it didnt seem that Forte saw Rockman as anything more than just a way for him to get Pharohman’s memories.

 My theory is that when Forte fused with Gospel he couldn’t maintain his form as a reference to the second game where the Forte copy became the Gospel beast after the bug fusion was compleated. So, that might mean that Forte became part of Gospel’s brain, he was still conscious when the Bug Style Rockman appear and beat him up. Forte became intrigue with Rockman’s Ultimate Program because he experienced how powerful it can be. Forte has proven that Rockman is no match for him even with Netto’s help, but he does know that Rockman’s true power is in his Ultimate Program, the power to destroy and regenerate the entire Cyberworld.

[xannified]

𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 ✧ k.yg | 二

Yugyeom tried to focus on the run they have made. He tried to force his head in the choreography that had been circling his mind all day. He'd been so excited about choreographing, possibly being allowed to record it if it was approved. But now, no matter how hard he tried to concentrate, he simply couldn't ignore the other in the room.

Jiwon had been dancing on her own for a while now. She was distracting, in ways more than one. They have separated ideas for a while to come up with more. But he was actually getting miserable.

Music from Yugyeom's laptop instantly filled the silence of the room as he tried to dance again. It was already apparent that the song focused more on fast beats rather than lyrics, and the dance routine Jiwon have planned must going to be complex and fast-paced. He knew this because his eyes can't stop looking at her figure.

If Yugyeom would be honest, the routine that Jiwon would always choreograph are the hardest to master. He groaned, "Hitting every beat is impossible with you."

She looked up at him and said, "I'll take that as a compliment. Come on, I want to finish this as much as possible."

For the thousandth time today, he scoffed cockily as he rolled his eyes, "Why? So we can head out and bang right after already?"

"Your eyes are going to be permanently stuck at the back of your head if you keep doing that," she commented, positioning herself a good distance from him.

He could only laugh. He shook his head lightly and said, "Oh please, you'll be the one who'd have her eyes rolling as I fuck you good later on."

Jiwon does not mind him an continues. And it kind frustrated Yugyeom how much she can just ignore him easily. He could only sigh heavily to mind his own ideas. But instead of coming up with an actual idea, he had an unrestrained one.

His smile grew and his nose scrunched up in the sexiest of ways. Jiwon can't help but avert his gaze to the other side at the sudden little commotion. She rolled your eyes as the song changed and watched Yugyeom fluidly step back into the dance moves. The way his body moved like water to the beat of the music and the look on his face when he rolled his hips rhythmically. She could feel herself becoming anxious.

He seemed to notice that air in the room shift. She shook her head violently, trying to remain calm through. He bit his lip and gave Jiwon a testing look. He slowly walked up to her and leaned in close, causing her to back up until her back was pressed against the mirror. He asked in a whisper, "Is something wrong? Does choreographing stress you out?"

All of this was just merely a hookup since she knew that Yugyeom needed satisfaction on his nonexistent dating life. She thought that after the one night stand, it would casually stop like the usual. However, Yugyeom wanted more, but not more than that, if that would make sense.

Yugyeom was a handsome guy and undeniably sexy. Girls would die for just wanting to talk to him, and even crazier ones could if they can date him. Everyone looked at him like he was a god whenever he dances. He was so good, that a lot of urges have created thirst. This is a form of disrespect though, because he looked very angelic.

But he was not angelic at all. He was commanding behind closed doors and he was the complete opposite of being cute.

Even though he may be treated like a giant baby publicly, Yugyeom was a man. He knew how to get his way. He knew how to dominate. And most importantly, he knew how to make her beg for him. All of her control completely goes off whenever his eyes looks straight in hers.

That was it. Jiwon knew she was in trouble. Without hesitating, he placed a rough kiss on her lips. His hands tangled in her hair as she pulled her closer. She was frozen, but eventually thawed as he brought her to her feet.

Jiwon pulled away and looked him in the eyes. She tried to stop him because heck, they were doing something more important than this. She breathed, "Yu-Yugyeom... not-not here, please. There are... uh, mu-must be c-cameras... around."

Completely ignoring her, Yugyeom shook his head slightly before claiming her lips. He kisses her back instantly because it's as easy as breathing. With a low sigh, Yugyeom presses his crotch on hers. The familiar sensation of them slowly getting hot against each other is setting his nerves on fire. He is just about to let his hands slip under her shirt, to feel the soft skin and relax with every breath when Jiwon breaks the kiss, panting heavily. He whispered, "Stop fighting, Jiwon-ah."

The occasional moans and groans escaped their lips as he roughly kissed her again. It was only then Jiwon realized just how much sexual tension was actually squeezed between them.

"Fuck," her lips quiver at the feel of his Yugyeom's bulge straining against his skinny jeans. Desperate to feel Jiwon again, Yugyeom unbuttons his pants carelessly. He yanks them down and pulls her leggings only to see that she was wearing a g-string.

Jiwon cursed herself for forgetting that she should not wear leggings whenever Yugyeom would be there. Because then she would also have to wear the certain underwear for the leggings.

"You're so naughty. Must be ready for me," Yugyeom teases and Jiwon wants to trash and scream and hit his pretty face but she is so desperately turned on. Her own clit was swelling more and more. She was yearning for his touch. It's sad and unhealthy, but she'll take what he can get.

Hurriedly, he helps where Yugyeom has already started to pull his underwear down himself, taking it as an excuse to let his palms stroke up and down his strong legs before settling them onto his thighs, squeezing gently. Yugyeom shivers, muttering impatiently under his breath and only then does Jiwon lift his head to kiss him.

Jiwon wishes she could melt into the feeling, wishes they had time to totally liquefy. But there's only hushed, hurried touches at the moment. Anyone could knock on the door at any moment. They were working together for a choreography which should not be suspicious.

And there hasn't been a lot of time lately. Jiwon had other things to do as a choreographer. Yugyeom was preparing for their comeback. Schedules are stacked, overlapping, and sometimes it feels like they're dizzy under a smothering tower of obligations. But there's never been a lot of time, alone or otherwise, in this business.

They take what they can get, and right now it's just this—Yugyeom pulling the band of her underwear in the practice room, palms whispering across her abdomen, and quiet, suckling kisses into his neck. Yugyeom pulls down his pants more, pressing his dick on her clit. He pulled her closer for more friction as Jiwon whined into the sensitive spot under her ear. Jiwon gasps at the tickle of his breath, and tries to interpret the desperate sound as best she can, moving swiftly to pull up Yugyeom's tee so she can touch his skin.

Jiwon  wants to bury her face in his neck, wants to hold him still for just a moment longer. But Yugyeom's busy, focused: hands jamming down her underwear completely.

Yugyeom huffs impatiently as they get stuck where they've bunched, and he resorts to peeling the legs down more slowly over his muscle. Jiwon squirms as Yugyeom flattens his palm against her, then tracing the outline of her clit with wet sloppy kisses.

Now he's taking Jiwon into his mouth, soft lips popping over her wetness with a familiar little moan. Yugyeom is an all-consuming—tender and teasing one moment, brandishing burning eyes and heavy hands the next. Jiwon's eyes flutter as the wet heat suctions him in, hand instinctively curling around Yugyeom's nape to tug him closer.

They continue like this for some moments, Jiwon moaning, his hands shaking in Yugyeom's hair as his fingers clench and unclench rhythmically with the movements of Yugyeom's lips. Once he can tell that Jiwon is close, he uses Jiwon's momentary distraction to let the hand that is not furiously working his own cock travel up and around, sharp fingernails digging into Jiwon's ass seconds later.

She can feel his eyes closing in pleasure. The wetness adds to the thrilling feeling of Jiwon's fingers carding through his hair and Yugyeom's hips bug whenever they catch in it and pull at his roots, both of them used to the smooth glide of straight, soft hair. Yugyeom was pulling her body more towards him from behind. She instinctively swallows around Yugyeom's tip. She managed to breathe, "P-Please, Gyeom-ah."

Her pleading didn't need to be repeated twice because Yugyeom pushed the head of his member in. Even from behind, he didn't have a problem on slipping his member in her hole. He pushed his way through the tight ring of muscle. It felt ten times better than his tongue.

Yugyeom absentmindedly groaned out, holding onto Jiwon's hips as he pushed in. The way the other's hole stretched around his dick was a sin and if he didn't know better, then he swore he could feel his dick growing even harder.

A drawn out moan left her throat when Yugyeom pulled out again, before pushing back in. His jaw was slack, letting out continuous sighs of immense pleasure. Jiwon was trying hard to control her breathing but nothing seemed to work. Yugyeom's dick stretched her so good, leaving her breathless and ready for more and more. She couldn't wait for him to mercilessly pound into her.

Lowering his head, his lips trailed wet sloppy kisses on her neck. She could not help but hold on the rail by the mirror for dear life.

Jiwon felt how Yugyeom sped up a bit. It was becoming for her to keep her voice down. He haven't even reached her spot yet but she was already feeling this good, "H-harder."

Her pert ears got filled with the sound of Yugyeom's hips colliding with her ass cheeks as he thrusted into her. She could feel how Yugyeom tried to angle his thrusts to find his sweet spot. The sound of her entrance squelching around his dick, as well the sound of her own moans combined with his low grunts made her contented. When Yugyeom found it, he tried to kiss Jiwon and press their lips together but it was nearly impossible.

"L-look at me," Yugyeom breathes, his voice so weak Jiwon would have missed it without the insistent tug Yugyeom gives his hair deliberately this time.

As if in trance, she opens her eyes, gaze struggling to find Yugyeom's in the massive mirror of the practice room. When she finally does, she could feel the other constrict around her. The intense look in his eyes making her forget her hurting knees and almost cramped up wrist in seconds, body getting ready to chase her orgasm.

She's never had mirror sex before and she's a bit delirious, but her mind tells her this is the best sex she's ever had.

Her hands weaved their way through the thick locks of his black hair as he slammed back into her, hitting her g-spot. Jiwon tugged on his hair and encouraged him to go faster, earning a groan coming out of his mouth. He gripped her hips, moving at a steady pace as she felt herself at complete bliss.

Looking at each other's eyes through the mirror as Yugyeom made her feel good was incredible. It was totally out of this world.

Her hands reached for his back and gripped to push their bodies closer. Yugyeom increased his speed in a brutal pace making her body shake. She moaned loudly as she hit her orgasm, "Fuck you, Yugyeom."

"I know, baby. Fuck you too," he chuckled in her ear softly.

Yugyeom also climaxed after more thrusts, riding out of his high as he moaned her name. He shot his load inside he. Her legs were shaking uncontrollably, and Yugyeom pulled her closer from behind to hug her. At the same time, he remained being inside her.

He lowered his head down again to plant a rough wet kiss on her neck. Yugyeom continued to kiss her until down her shoulder blades.  

They remained like that for a couple of seconds. Yugyeom's arms were wrapped around her waist as his eyes remain closed. His body pressed against hers through the embrace.

However, she knew he didn't want to get caught. So he said, "I'm pulling out, so close your legs. I want me inside you and I don't want my cum leaking out of you."

It was the hottest thing that she have heard from him yet. Yugyeom knew that she was on the pill. Jiwon shuddered at his words and she could not believe that they just had a quickie in the practice room.

Yugyeom slowly stood straight, lifting her hips up. She clung to his arms, letting out silent choked gasp when he accidentally yanked in her. His warm thick liquid filled her. Yugyeom slid out of Jiwon carefully and she could feel a bit of the warm semen run down her thigh which he sucked, as he helped her pull her underwear up in place.

He made sure that all of him was her, and that she was not wet so it would not stain.

Thankfully, they have composed themselves before people started coming in the practice room an hour after. Yugyeom told Jiwon to remain her legs closed, seated on the stool.

Even though she was currently in a lowkey fling with Yugyeom, she always had a soft spot in her heart for Jackson from the start.

It wasn't inappropriate in any way, unlike Yugyeom. Jiwon just thought of him as a wonderful oppa, since he has always been nice to her since the first time.  Out of all the boys besides Yugyeom secretly, she was the closest to Jackson.

Currently she was with the boys as they were having a little talk before they turned on the V-app for a short live.

Jackson decided to stand near her as she remains seated on the stool. She didn't think anything of it of course. Jiwon turned to him and smiled noticing that he was handing her a water bottle.

He took his handkerchief from his pocket and quickly dabbed the sweat that was on his neck. She did not realize that she still had sweat. She said, "Thank you."

"Are you okay? You seem tired. Keep hydrated. It's hard to get sick," she nodded as he smiled at her sweetly.

That was when Jaebeom called all the members to gather around. Jackson ran off as he smiled again before running off. When he sat on the couch with the members, Jiwon noticed that Yugyeom had his eyes on her. She also noticed that his jaw was clenched and his hands were in fists a sign that something was bothering him. Though, she didn't made a big deal out of it.

After the short live, Yugyeom immediately made his way to her. She and him were having idle chatter as he randomly told jokes. Her laughter filled between them. The way Jiwon laughed and the big grin that followed was infectious, making Yugyeom follow suit.

Suddenly, Jackson's presence erupts. It eradicated any calmness that evolved previously. He hopped into the empty spot between Jiwon and Yugyeom, "Hey! What are you two talking about?"

Jackson immediately pulled Jiwon into his arms, hugging her tightly. She stammered "Jackson, I can't—"

"Ah, sorry," he chuckled. Yugyeom bit his lip. Simultaneously, he bit down on any upcoming remarks that could have escaped. Despite freeing you of his grasp, Jackson's arm lingered on your shoulder.

"You became so cheery all of a sudden," she remarked with a slight giggle. Jiwon ignored the new darkness that had clouded Yugyeom's sharp features.

"It's because we talked to the Ahgases. And you're here, of course," he chirped. He sneaked a wink also. Yugyeom had caught onto what his bandmate was doing yet remained determined to not let it affect him.

The three continued to chat, as normal. The guys bounced eye contact off one another without Jiwon noticing. Whenever Jackson made contact with her, he'd make sure to steal a glance at the younger. Yugyeom's jaw was clenched. He wasn't sure what about Jackson making so much contact with her riled him up. They were all friends now, so what must be the tension?

But, Yugyeom felt himself nearing the last straw. Jackson interjected a silent moment and complimented, "Do you want to go to my house for dinner? I mean, I can try cooking dinner for you... and maybe, the guys too?"

A rose-coloured blush tinted your cheeks. Yugyeom instantly met eyes with him. Jiwon was lost for words at the friendly invite. No guy have ever asked him to dinner like that.

All of a sudden, Yugyeom shot out off the sofa and stormed out. Your eyes were fixed on him as he angrily left the room. Jackson quickly asked, "What set him off?"

Jackson did invite the members to his house. But Jaebeom did not believe about him actually cooking, so they decided to just order instead.

Throughout the whole time, Yugyeom found himself intensely glaring at the his hyung while Jackson kept talking to Jiwon. What even made him flare up is when Jackson was refusing to acknowledge the maknae although Yugyeom had just asked him were the drinks were.

Yugyeom counted to ten in his head, telling himself to be calm and patient like he had fought so hard to become after the countless times he had lost his temper before, and got up from where he had been sitting comfortably on the sofa to drag himself into the kitchen, too hungry and tired to deal with what was making him mad.

But it was not easy to contain one's self at all. He muttered, "Hyung, maybe if you can't stop hitting on Jiwon then could you at least tell me where the drinks are?"

It seemed his—banmal—statement was what was required to get Jackson's attention, because the reaction was instant. Even all the members looked at their maknae.

Jackson whipped his head, staring at Yugyeom accusingly. But it was Jaebeom who asked him, "Mworago?"

Yugyeom's eyes were fixated on Jackson. It was filled with so much rage and anger, his jaw clenching. Jackson has always been kind. But the tone of the accusation right now triggered him. He asked, "What the fuck did you say? You've been keeping up the attitude since earlier."

Jiwon tried to feign disinterest. Her eyes dropping from Yugyeom's immediately although she had yearned for him to look at her delicately in the same way Jackson does. It hurt something inside her chest that this was the only way Yugyeom would look at her, with anger burning in his eyes. Like she was only a thing he uses and is selfish of. Jiwon told herself she did not care, but really, she did.

"Nothing, I just said it so you'd get my attention. So sorry about that, I guess," the words wore out of Yugyeom's mouth. The sarcasm was spilling venom in their wake.

"Screw you, you meant your words and you're not sorry," Jackson spat before Yugyeom stood up an stormed out.

Bambam stood up to follow his friend. Groaning, Jiwon felt the need to be the one to follow Yugyeom. So she softly patted the Thai on his shoulder as she gave a half smile. The problem was not supposed to be like that. And if she didn't talk to him, he'd just lash off more.

There he saw Yugyeom standing. His eyes was still full of anger, and when it landed on her, he sighs and grabs her wrist. She tried shaking her off, "What in the world is your problem, Yugyeom?"

Yugyeom rolled his eyes, but when Jiwon tried to stop him from dragging her, he was quicker. He only tightened his grip on her wrist as he forcibly made her get in the passenger's seat.

When he got in the car, the glare Yugyeom threw her was petulant. His eyes looked straight and then he started driving. He was aggressive but still very careful. For a moment, Jiwon was quiet. She just watched how Yugyeom looked behind, his left hand on the steering wheel as the car backed up.

Jiwon was not letting Yugyeom evade this argument, not anymore. They needed to sort this out, or it would affect the whole group sooner rather than later. If not in any other way then at least talk it out because it was driving Jiwon crazy to have Yugyeom acting like this. She asked, "Where are we going?"

The words and the intensity of Yugyeom's glance upset Jiwon's focus enough, "Doesn't matter where we fucking go."

She leaned back in her seat folding her arms, wondering why he was behaving like this. She didn't want to press the situation in the car and wait until they arrive somewhere. The streets were familiar, and they were heading to his place.

Yugyeom was still being cold with her and ignoring her all the way. He opened the door and entered first which he never did, leaving her to follow him and shut the door. There was no choice now. Jiwon cannot leave just like that even if she wanted to.

She was about to tell him off for how he behaved but her words were caught in her throat as she looked him over. He was glaring at Jiwon, his usual brown eyes were now black with anger as she assumed. His teeth were clenched so that his jawline stood out and both his hands were in fist making his muscles and veins on his arms pop. Jiwon couldn't help but get turned on at the sight of him.

Jiwon gulped trying to formulate words but couldn't. Before she knew it he had stormed his way in front of her and slammed both of his hands on the wall behind her. Jiwon was now stuck between him and the door and there was nowhere you would have rather been, she couldn't help but bite your lip in lust as you stared up at Yugyeom.

"You're really a slut, aren't you?" he snarled at her. He then added, "I just fucked you and you're seducing Jackson hyung? With my cum in you? You want him to fuck you too?"

Jiwon pushes off the wall. Yugyeom is quicker. Grip tight on her elbow, he presses her back. Jiwon gives a slight struggle, tries to fight him away with a shove to his chest, but Yugyeom is stronger, bigger. Easily holds both of her wrists and uses his body to blanket over him. She said, "You're hurting me, Yugyeom."

From experience, she knows how fast this can go downhill. How easy it is for the two of them to fall deep into each other, disregard for authority and consequences. Blind to the naysayers and reality, fueled by adrenaline and instincts. It's reckless, desperate, and careless.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. Jiwon writhes her wrist, whimpers. Yugyeom sighs, lips a faint brush against his skin. He doesn't miss the way she shivers, "But I don't know why I was like that. Maybe I didn't like the fact that there's another guy hitting on you."

Yugyeom is pissed, horny, and temperamental all at once. But she was starting to feel corrupted. She told him, "I'm a girl for fuck's sake, Yugyeom. He was just being nice and sweet. Is it bad to be friendly with someone for once?"

It hurts at first, to see Jiwon flinch as an initial reaction to being touched by him, gaze hard and unforgiving, but she knows that Yugyeom is still as caught up in their mess as he is, his heart racing under his palm more than telling. Yugyeom growled, "Do you think I'd be like this if it was okay?"

They were fucked up. Both of them. Bringing out the worst in each other, at the same time filling the satisfaction of the need from each other. But for her, it was getting harder than she expected it to be and she did not know what to do anymore. She whispered, "If you have a problem with me with other guys, maybe then we should stop fucking around."

He glared right back at her getting angrier, Jiwon could feel his breath on her face as he pressed closer to her. His voice was deeper than the usual, "No."

At the words, his eyes darkened even more if possible. Yugyeom took her lips roughly. She moaned into the kiss as she felt his erection beneath which was still restricted by his jeans and underwear. He swiftly lifted her up as they stumbled through the walls, clumsily finding Yugyeom's room.

Once they were in, he immediately threw her on the bed. Yugyeom desperately rocked his hips so that his erection was adding pressure to her covered clit. He pulled away from the kiss and groaned before attaching his lips to her sensitive neck. He immediately began to suck, lick and bite leaving hickies all over her neck. There were tears on her cheeks but her eyes remain closed.

Jiwon could feel that familiar feeling start to grow in her stomach and she moaned loudly.

Yugyeom stood up as he made her rest her back on the bed. He He slowly undid his jeans taking it off as well as his boxers. He said darkly, "You're mine, and I want you all for myself alone."

His eyes were still dark as he maintained eye contact with her. Yugyeom pushed her down roughly and climbed above her as he began kissing his way down her neck. He left a dark hickey at the center of her breasts before he continued his way down to her almost soaked underwear. He kissed down her stomach and finally reached her underwear.

Jiwon was wet. Yugyeom pulled her underwear down slowly, loads of cum slipping down and pooling. His semen was still in hers as he began gently rubbing her clit with two of his fingers.

She gasped when he inserted two fingers into her without warning. Jiwon shut her eyes close as he began moving his fingers in and out of her while curving them up to hit that spot. He stated possessively, "Only I can make you feel this good."

Yugyeom pulled his fingers out immediately making her whine but before you could even say anything he slammed his massive erection into her making her scream his name in pleasure. Jiwon wrapped her legs around him as he began to slam into her.

It felt so good, the way he filled her up, it was a perfect fit. He was fucking her so hard and fast and she was feeling all the pleasure. Her nails dug into his back sure to leave marks as he pumped in and out of her at his pace. He stared deeply into her eyes as he fucked you.

"No one can ever touch you like I do. No one should ever," he thrusted harder, making Jiwon tug on his hair and arch her back.

Seeing her in this much pleasure just made him fuck her harder and faster. Yugyeom wanted her to feel him in her and cum around him. He attached his lips to her neck sucking harshly wanting to leave yet another hickey as moan after moan left her lips. Jiwon could feel the build-up in your stomach begin again as he rocked into you.

Yugyeom began rubbing her clit with one of his hands faster and faster. She squeezed her eyes shut as the feeling of complete pleasure over took you. Jiwon clenched hard around him, "I'm... fuck, I'm c-close."

As soon as she came, he moaned out her name and came in Jiwon. When she opened her eyes, Yugyeom moved to lay down beside her. They were both catching their breaths, and she can't help but still think about what the real tension was.

Jiwon turned her back from him. And Yugyeom only pulled her close to his bare body to spoon, pulling the covers over them both.

Maybe it's the pleasant buzz still fizzing beneath her skin, or the fact that Jiwon has yet again slipped into some kind of subspace—or maybe it's Yugyeom, making her feel contented despite the conflict. But she sheds tears quietly as she quickly wipes them too.

Because no matter how much he makes her feel so good, it was not okay. Jiwon did not expect things to turn out like this. She wanted to get out of it, but she does not want to. He never treated her sweetly and delicately. Yugyeom have never made her feel romantic. And she craved that.

There's only the briefest moment like this where Jiwon gets the feeling that it was alright. The reminder that she cannot cross the certain line drifting off through her mind. But as all the times pass, it becomes harder and harder to hide it.

Jiwon just wanted to feel him in that way. But she was afraid that if they talk it over, it would all end. And for now, she's contented to let Yugyeom fuck her again and again.

Or so, she thought she is contented.

 一 ⏪⏸⏩ 三

[italicwatches]

Animal Sentai Zyuohger vs Ninninger - Part 2

Okay, let’s finish this beast and get it behind me. It’s People In Animal Masks vs Some Ninjas Who Are Bad At Their Job, part 2! Here we GO!

-So right when we last left off, everyone’s dead! Oh no! Twice in a row we’ve started with everyone dead, that’s not a good pattern for the Super Sentai. And Yoshiharu is in despair.

-While Runrun is having a pretty great time now that his job is…done…?

-Those were ALL training dummies, as the shinobi reappear with the crew in tow! A mass illusion and hiding, to trick Runrun into revealing his true nature! But how? Well, it helps that Yakumo and Kasumi suspected something wasn’t entirely adding up with Runrun from the start, so they’d been watching him.

-And back when they were interrogating Misao, he managed to charades his way into showing them that the mask was a trick…So as soon as they got it off and he told them how it had been talking on top of him, they left an illusion behind and went to meet with the Zyuohgers…Who had totally already taken a hostage.

-But they were willing to talk, to form a plan…A plan to catch Runrun out! And now with his trickery revealed, they can stand together! Also Takaharu thinks his comrades are cool as hell, while Yamato is just frustrated that his crew didn’t tell him a single thing. So Runrun is mad.

-And off comes the Teletubby-ass facade, to reveal that Runrun really looks like…

-Well mostly like Swampfire from Ben 10 with some extra flare.

-Also his real name is Girumaada. So the shinobi swiftly pull a smoke-bomb escape, and the team is able to stand together on the roof!

-To nobody’s surprise, out come phantoms of foes the Sentai teams have faced before. Some Ninninger guys, and Bunglay and the first-episode shitty general for Zyuohger.

-But fine. Instincts Awakened! THE CHANGE! NIN NIN NIN! NIN NI NIN NIN! Shuriekn Change! RED! BLUE! YELLOW! WHITE! PINK! STAR! NINJAS! WOW! And also animal sounds.

-Champion of the soaring skies! ZYUOH EAGLE! Champion of the surging waves! ZYUOH SHARK! Champion of the savannah! ZYUOH LION! Champion of the forest! ZYUOH ELEPHANT! Champion of the snowy drifts! ZYUOH TIGER! Champion of the world! ZYUOH THE WORLD! Animal Sentai, ZYUOHGER!

-A splendid rampage! AKA NINJA! The roaring clouds! AO NINJA! The shimmering calm! KI NINJA! A petal blowing in the wind! SHIRO NINJA! The wavering mist! MOMO NINJA! The colorful star! STAR NINJA! We may be shinobi, but we do not hide! We may be shinobi, but we party all night! Shuriken Sentai, NINNINGER!

-Instead of hiding, we awaken our instincts!

-And so it’s a big movie fight, with the matching pairs fighting these villain costumes gotten back out of storage! Of course, they’re tough…But the first one falls to Ao’s magic and Elephant’s raw strength! As Lion and Ki double-team their foe, Lion’s ferocious fighting spirit pushing him on as Ki brings out tricks from shinobi of old!

-And the girls all team up to take on this phantom of Bunglay, who gets run the fuck over with mechanical transformations, and eats a whole set of finishers! Even as a phantom, he’s tough.

-The World and Star have their hands pretty full, but still find time to take a selfie. The World made a new friend! Good for him. Now duck! ALL BEASTS UNLEASHED! The World kicks through their foe’s armor, and then flips him into the air, where Star’s got some Lightning Rock Star waiting to zap him! Now that’s a party.

-Oh and Aka and Eagle got firebombed. So they’re not having a great time. But Yoshiharu leaps in with his ninpou, trying to rescue them…He’s not letting his father fall, not here! And that’s when they’re joined, by…A sealing shuriken? It slashes against their greatest foe a few times, giving Eagle room to pull out a Gorilla’s strength, before the little shuriken falls into Yoshiharu’s hands…

-Forming into a new Aka Ninja Shuriken! The strength of his legacy…! You changed the script, kiddo! The power of the Super Sentai, and of shinobi, holds strong! This is what you’ve earned, come to aid you!

-And that’s when Aka’s father arrives, because the sealing shuriken leapt out from inside the house and he chased it all the way here and yeah that’s Kibaoni, their greatest foe, being fought by a gorilla. And this is your grandson from the future. He’s taking this surprisingly well. But, one stand together?

-One stand together! Three generations! AKA NINJA SHURIKEN! THE CHANGE! NIN NIN NIN! NIN NI NI NIN! Shuriken Change! RED! NINJAS!

-The slashing whirlwind! A splendid rampage! Fair weather today! AKA NINJAS! Past, present and future, forged into a crimson force! This is their fight now, Zyuohger! Get Girumaada! And as Gorilla bails out, they unleash wind, fire and lightning upon this phantom, and a triplet slash that cuts deep into his armor…

-Now, the triple finish! RED! RED! RED! NINJA! And the fight is won.

-While Gorilla corners Girumaada! When Naria arrived with Azald and Kubar to help…And Bard finds them.

-But SEIZA CHANGE! He’s met…By another red. A very lucky man. The luckiest man in the galaxy, Lucky! Also known as, Super Star! SHISHIRED!

-SEIZA CHANGE! Four more join him!Another Sentai team, huh—

-SEIZA CHANGE! They’re not five strong…They’re nine strong! Azald is confused, and Naria brings on the mooks. As you can imagine, it’s a big display of the next Super Sentai team and their grand skills. As you can also imagine, seeing how little I know of them, describing it in any detail is a bit difficult, especially with a nine man team. And honestly, all you need to know is they kill mooks real good and beat up the named villains because they’re the New Hotness.

-Oh and their finisher involves a star formation! GALAXY! They all bring their power into the center, and then blast it forward, as Azald eats it full force! Because you can kill a man who can reform. They are, the ultimate saviors! UCHUU SENTAI! KYUURANGER! Naria is mad, but has to call for a retreat…And hey, kids, remember to watch them when their season starts!

-And Bard implies that this team was actively manifested by the changing of history, born out of a twisting of time.

-But back to the actual movie, as everyone brings up overlapping finishers to destroy the phantoms! I, am not, trying to unpack all those narrator cries. And Gorilla is fighting Girumaada all on his own…But he is never truly alone. For he has his friends and loved ones at his back, the hopes of a future burning in his soul!

-And also?

-He’s got a fucking Whale.

-With arm cannon and blade both blazing with power, Whale delivers shots and slashes to Girumaada, before slamming that cannon into his gut and racking up a ZYUOH FINAL shot, up close and personal!

-Holy crap this guy’s still standing.

-…Fine. The others arrive, and everyone back him up! Full flow! ZYUOH NINNIN FINAL BAKURETSUHOU! FIRE! Can I just say how much it frustrates me that TV-Nihon still doesn’t translate attack names?

-Anyways Girumaada gets blown up and gobbles up some Continues that Naria gave him just in case and now he’s big. Are you surprised? Don’t be surprised.

-So what do you do with a giant villain? What do you do with a giant villain? Make a big mech and punch him down, early in the morning! Complete Animal Combination! King Shuriken Combination! WILD TOUSAI DODEKA KING! KING SHURIKENJIN!

-The problem is he’s really big even compared to them. So this is not an ideal situation to be in. Bug they’ll just have to go all in! KING HATENKOU GIRI! ZYUOH DODEKA SHOT! The finishers go out…Aaaand accomplish nothing. Because of course.

-So how’re they going to get out of this one, as Girumaada’s vines ensnare them and start banging them together like a rowdy child’s action figures? Their mechs shatter, all twelve are sent to the ground, full of despair…Oh no! What can be done?!

-And that’s when Yoshiharu’s shrunken dives in, and with 40 years of legacy, the shuriken forms a shield…And for a split moment? A vision.

-The teams are met…By the 38 Reds who have stood at the precipice of disaster before them. You are not alone, heroes. You have never been alone. The Earth and all its smiles are not in your hands alone to protect…You ave guided by a legacy, by the past to protect the future! Take their strength, their honor, and fight for the justice they forged!

-The vision is done, as Girumaada’s attack is repelled…And now? To bring it all together! And forge Wild Tousai SHURIKEN KING! Twelve strong! It might be small, but with the power of ninpou fueling it, this mech can punch and take punches well above its weight class! But they can’t hold this for long…They’ve got to finish it fast! Drive the spear home, and…!

-As one, as a singular force! With the strength of all their predecessors at their back, and all of their descendants waiting for them still! They are joined by the strength of countless mechs, as it all comes out in a single glorious beam to cut Girumaada down! It is DONE!

-And then, as soon as it came, that power is gone…To await the next time they are needed, when one or even two teams aren’t enough…

-In the aftermath, Yoshiharu has to return to his own time, to see the man his father becomes with time to live…And after a big farewell, he’s gone in a flash of ninpou, to return to his own time.

-Which is when Tusk realizes…How could Yoshiharu exist if Takaharu’s supposed to have been dead by now?

-…So…Here’s the thing…

-You WHAT?! And not even his own family knew! His sister and his father didn’t get to be at the wedding?! Yamato, after being stepped on, quietly despairs at the absurd handful that is this pack of shinobi. His own crew is so much easier to deal with than this. Also it seems Misao and Kinji are gonna start hanging out more off-camera, which is really, really good. I’m super happy for him, legitimately.

-And Takaharu immediately latches onto the idea of hanging out and going camping again because that stops the argument and Yamato just has to run after this gaggle of heroes before they get into even more trouble.

-Credits!

Well, it had its problems, but that managed to be a good bit more fun than I was expecting. Really, the only problem with it is how shoe-horned in the legacy stuff was, especially for the higher budget and runtime that a movie should get. They kind of did the legacy stuff better in the 2000th episode special, and those were just, like, TV episodes.

Also I can already tell the Kyuurangers are gonna frustrate me real bad if/when I do that season. They were a little much in the two minutes we got with them here.

But hey, movie’s done, so we can get back to the story arc next time, in episode THIRTY NINE of Animal Sentai Zyuohger! Wait for it!

[nakamurasuzuki]

No grave Ch.5

We had stopped off at a tiny seaside town to restock and rest. I split off from the group and worked on improving the time I could use observation haki without getting a headache.

I had stopped to grab something to eat and drink when I felt it. The pang of terror went straight to my heart, so I quickly paid for my sandwich and coffee before hurrying out the door, intent on helping whoever was so terrified that they were unconsciously reaching out for help like this.

I turned down an alleyway and froze when I saw two full grown men standing over the curled up, broken and shivering form of a tiny child with blue hair and a bright red nose.

Buggy.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I snarled, stalking towards the two.

“It’s just a worthless brat, what do you care what happens to it?” The larger one of the pair mocks. I shoved past them, removing my hat and putting it on the poor kids head, pushing it over his eyes.

“Close your eyes kid, and don’t open them until I tell you it’s safe. This isn’t going to be pretty.” I said in a low voice.

“What can a weak woman like you do against two big strong men like us?” The other one scoffed at me, looking down at me.

“Tch, you must be really stupid if you thought I’d start a fight I knew I wouldn’t win. This ‘weak woman’ is a devil fruit user with 6 years of experience and a bounty worth more than the both of you combined. So how about you say that again.” As I said that, I slowly shifted into my hybrid state, four arms unfurling from my back and extra sets of eyes opening and settling into a glare as coarse fur covered my face and shoulders.

“M-Mon-ack!” One of them tried to yell, and the other dropped into a dead faint, only to have six palms slammed into his gut. I spun a web and webbed his entire face, cutting off his oxygen.

I looked at my spilt coffee in distaste before dumping the rest on the one who had fainted. I cut the transformation, turning back to Buggy. He was shaking like a leaf.

“Kid, you can open your eyes now. Can you tell me your name?” I crouched in front of him, and he blinked teary blue eyes at me.

“Bug..Buggy.” He said, and I let a soft smile cross my face.

“Alright Buggy, I’m Solaris. Can I touch you? I need- Woah, okay. This is fine.” Buggy had launched himself into my arms and started sobbing into my chest. My heart dropped when I saw his leg, swollen and very clearly broken, and not a clean break either from the looks of it.

“They were, they were gonna kil- gonna...gonna kil-“ he choked on the word, and I felt all my organs collectively decide to drop out my ass, and my blood froze.

“Okay, Buggy. I’m going to pick you up and I need to to keep your legs as still as possible. I’m going to take you to my ship and get you all fixed up. Is that okay with you?” I kept my voice gentle and low. He nodded into my neck.

I manoeuvred him so that I was holding him in a princess carry and slowly stood up. I stomped on the man I left alive, ignoring the squelch my foot made as I squished his head under my heel.

People gave me a wide berth as I walked down the road, and I’m not sure if it was because of my face or the blood and brain matter caked on my foot. Could have been both.

“Solaris, what’s going on? I could feel your fury- Oh shoot!” Sterling hissed when he saw Buggy, who had a look of pure terror on his face.

“Buggy, this is my twin brother. He’s a magic doctor, and he’s going to fix you up.” I pointed at him with my chin.

“There’s no such thing as magic.” He giggled, and though he was definitely still scared, it was an improvement.

Sterling caught on and grinned.

“Sure there is! I’ll show you once we get you on a table so I can get a good look at your injuries.” He smiled and Buggy giggled again. I smiled and walked onto the ship, heading straight for Sterling and I’s shared room. We didn’t have a table, so I put him on my bed, being careful to not jostle his leg.

Sterling crouched down and placed his hands on either side of the fracture, his hands glowing softly. I could see the bone moving under Buggy’s skin, and it only served to make me even more angry on his behalf. He worked for a while, and finally brought down as much of the swelling as he could.

Buggy’s eyes lit up as he looked at his leg in awe, before he made a jaw cracking yawn.

“I forgot that it takes a lot of energy to fix big things. Sorry Buggy. Take a nap and when you wake up, I’ll finish.” Sterling rubbed his head, creating a mess of blue hair.

Buggy blinked tiredly at us. “Oh… Ok…. Can you stay with me?”

I smiled and nodded , pressing my forehead to his. He closed his eyes and laid down, and he was out like a light. I tucked him in and put my hat on his chest. A soft smile crossed my face before it fell and I had to cover my mouth to muffle the whimper that escaped.

I stood up abruptly and left the room, closing the door behind me. I walked a bit down the hall before I yelled and slammed my fist through the wall. I slid to my knees and covered my mouth as tears gathered in my eyes and my shoulders shook violently.

“He’s just, he’s just a baby!” I let out a high pitched whine as I pressed my head against the wall.

“Sol-chan? What’s wrong- Shit. Seagull, go get Captain. Now.” I was pulled into someone’s lap. The purple fabric bunched in my fist told me it was Rayleigh.

“He’s so ti- He’s just, he’s so fucking tiny and, and they tried… they tried to kill him! He’s just a baby, why, why would they-“ I hiccuped and sobbed into his shirt, and fingers scraped against my scalp in an attempt to calm me down.

“What happened, Sol?”

“I- I found a kid in, in the alley- alleyway and, and, and there were two adults bea-beating him up. They were, were gonna kill hi-him, and he wasn’t- he wasn’t tryna fight ba-aack! Whyy was-wasn’t he tryna fffight back?!” I cried.

“Where is he now?”

“In- He’s in our room.” I sniffled.

Rayleigh picked me up and carried me back to my room. He sat me on the bed next to Buggy.

“He’s right here, and he’s okay now. That’s all you have to worry about for now. You can worry later once he’s up and walking. You’ve done all you can for right now, so step back and let others help while you breathe.” Rayleigh put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

He left when Roger returned to explain the situation.

Sterling leaned his head against my back, and I took the time to compose myself, and by the time the kid woke up the only evidence of my breakdown was the scraped skin on my knuckles and dried tear trails on my cheeks.

After Sterling fixed up all the bruises, cuts, scrapes, and broken fingers-how the fuck did I not notice those?!- Buggy grabbed my hand, smiling up at me.

Jesus, I know that I’m tall for my age but how the hell am I twice Buggy’s height?! Fuckin’ 5’9” 13 year old bullshit, that’s what this is. I’m gonna be taller than Roger if this shit keeps up.

“Hey Buggy? Do you have anyone waiting for you back home?” I asked even though I knew the answer, just from story context. Why would a kid join a pirate crew if he had a family? Unless Roger originally kidnapped him, which is highly unlikely.

Buggy’s hand tightened around my fingers, and I could hear my bones creaking.

“Don’t make me go back, I’ll do anything, just don’t leave me here!” Buggy babbled, and my heart broke. I scooped him up and placed him on my hip.

“I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. I only asked because I was worried. If it makes you feel better, you can hold onto my neck. I have to talk to Captain, and I’ll do my best to get him to let you stay.” I smiled at him, and he wrapped his arms around my neck,tucking his head under my chin.

“What happens if he says no?”

“In the unlikely scenario that he says no, I’ll jump ship and we can be our own pirate crew. I’m not about to abandon you, kid. You’re mine now, my brother.” I said and opened the door. Sterling snickered.

“I think you mean our brother, Solaris. You know that we’re in this together as always, right?”

“Obviously.”

We walked down the hallways and up to the deck where Roger was talking to Rayleigh. He saw us and stopped what he was doing, giving us a giant grin and walking over to us.

“There you two are! Rayleigh told me what happened. This must be Buggy.” He bent down to our height and offered his hand to Buggy, who hesitated but took his finger because Jesus Christ, Roger’s hands are fucking huge.

“Buggy, this is our Captain, Roger. Captain, we have a favour to ask.” Sterling said, and Roger got serious.

“Buggy has nowhere to go. The people here don’t care for him like they should, and I already killed two people to protect him.” I said.

“And you want him on our crew.” He said. I nodded and he sighed.

“God damn it, why do kids keep ending up on my crew because of terrible circumstances? You both know that I would never turn away a kid in need, but I only allow them on the crew if there is absolutely no other option. Buggy, do you have any family members on another island that we can drop you off with?” He asked. Buggy’s arms tightened around my neck, enough that I probably should have started struggling to breathe.

“The only family I know of is my father, but he skipped town when he found out about me. He disappeared.” Buggy said, and I squeezed him closer.

Roger swore and dragged a hand through his hair. Buggy and I both tensed.

“It’s not that I don’t want you on the crew Buggy, I just don’t like the circumstances. There is never a happy reason for a kid your age to be joining a pirate crew. I’m only willing to make you a cabin boy for now, but I’ll do my best to teach you everything I can.” He placed a hand on Buggy’s head, ruffling his hair.

“Welcome to the crew, kid.”

[queennicoleinboots]

Swamp Business on Crack, part 1

Joebear growled as I walked in the woods while wearing leaves to cover the essentials. I had finished eating my vegetable soup and had taken my shower. Now I was ready for Joebear's fat ass. 

"Bae Whuhh!!!!" I shouted. 

But Joebear's fat ass was not ready for me. He was taking a shit that made even swamps smell like fresh cut roses. It seems that the sewer was flying out of Joebear's sacred fat ass. It was sexy, BUT IT STANK!

Our young black and white cat named Oreo came storming into the swamp. Kissy, our female orange cat that grew to be twice the size she was a week ago, followed Miss Oreo. Garfield was sitting near a tree and farting. It was sexy, BUT IT STANK! 

"Hoowoo Bae Whuhh you sexy!" I said. At that moment, I started my period. I had swamp vagina. I needed business more than ever. "BAE WHUHH!!! I NEED BUSINESS BAEWHUHH!!!"

"Kissy! Kissy!" Joebear said in a high-pitched voice of excitement. Kissy ran over there to lay with him. Oh shit the cats are getting involved. "Bae! Come lay with me!"

I laid with my bear. A barbeque chicken pizza fell out of the sky. My bear ate pizza. I ate pizza. 

Colonel Mac rode over to us while he was eating pizza. 

Peter also was eating pizza, but he was off the toilet and dancing in ballet style around in a purple T-shirt and a pink bekini. The bottom of his tummy would show when he would skip in the air.  

Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing and Megara were also eating pizza. They had three female cubs, but the cubs were up in Tennessee visiting Megara's big mother bear. Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing sang opera while we enjoyed our dinner. 

Paul the Goat rode Hollywood while they both ate pizza.

Kissy then ate my pizza crust and meowed as though she were a wind-up toy. 

Her meow called upon a Giant Angel that descended from the Heavens. He was bald and tall. His eyes were a beautiful hazel mix of 40% blue, 50% greenish brown, and a few minor colors flaked in the large irises. He looked younger than all of the bears and Peter, but he looked older than Paul the Goat and Hollywood.

(Peter looks like he is 40 even if he is 55. He is a special kind of asshole. What Fountain of Youth does that fucker drink from?) 

Colonel Mac blinked as he looked at the Giant Angel and took a bite of his pizza. "Apparently we have entered Heaven. This pizza tastes like Heaven. Excuse me. I have a bear call to make," he spoke before he growled a great bear growl. 

Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing did some vocal exercises before he, too, joined in bear chorus. 

Joebear growled in bear chorus before Miss Oreo stole a bite of pizza from him. "OREO, lay down!" he growled at her. Miss Oreo stared at him before she continued to chew. 

Paul the Goat bleated before Hollywood neighed loudly. 

Peter started to bleat before he looked up at the Giant Angel and asked, "Who the hell are you?"

The Giant Angel spoke, "I am Michael, a man with regrets, angel wings of redemption, and have traveled across many planes of existence. A cat called upon me. What shall she have me do?"

Kissy looked at Miss Oreo. Miss Oreo looked at Kissy. They were confused cats. 

Michael spoke again, "I heard a cat that sounded like a wind-up toy."

Kissy looked at him and meowed. "Sorry about that. I was excited about pizza crust. When I eat pizza crust, I'm in heaven. Thank you for coming."

"You're welcome," said Michael. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Well, we are having a great swamp party," Kissy said as she meowed. 

Pauno, a Greek God with green eyes and black curly-hair and Kendrick, Peter's ex-girlfriend and Pauno's current wife also wandered in the swamp. They also were eating pizza. 

Peter sighed his trademark sigh before he spoke, "As if this party isn't awkward enough... my ex shows up with her husband. And here I am in a pink bekini." He looked down and sighed again. "What's the point?"

The swamp bubbled up before Peter's therapist started crawling from the large puddle in the middle of said swamp. She was covered in mud. 

Peter smiled and gestured toward her. "Answers my question!"

Joebear then growled a great bear growl before announcing, "That's great, and now excuse me, I need to shake my bear ass." He got up and started shaking his bear ass to the random song that started playing, "The Bear Necessities of Life" from The Jungle Book because because Michael the Great Arc Angel decreed it.

Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing growled loudly. "Yesssss!!! As do I!!! MEGARA!!!!" He started to dance with his wife while shaking his big bear ass.

"This will put your body to good use," Megara said as she started to dance and shake her big bear booty. 

Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing then started to dance with her while slapping her ass to the beat of the music. 

"BAE WHUHH!!!!" I shouted and said as I shook my booty and did the backfat dance in front of him. I still was bleeding like a stuffed pig.

Joebear growled before he mauled me and started to dance with me while slapping my ass to the music. 

Michael the Great Arc Angel laughed before he spoke to Kissy. "Would you like to dance with me?."

Kissy looked at him in excitement before she meowed loudly. "Sure, but I simply meowed out of enjoying pizza crust," she said before she got up on her hind legs and danced with him.

"BEAR NECESSITIES! THE BIGGEST BEAR NECESSITIES OF LIFE!" Michael the Great Arc Angel sang loudly.

Kissy made a series of short mechanical malfunctioning meows before she shouted, "WHAM BAM!!!!"

Michael the Great Arc Angel then manifested a slice of pizza and ate it while he danced with Kissy. 

Garfield danced with Miss Oreo.

Now the only person not eating or dancing was Peter's therapist. I did not like that woman. She achieved my dreams before I did (I wanted to be a counselor, but I can't be a counselor because it's too much part of the system, and we all know that I can't have that. Point is, Peter's bitch therapist is a sell-out). And she has bigger boobs than I do. Nice DD-rack. She has a shapely butt, too. Not to mention that she is truly a redhead. Oh, and she really really really really really really likes Peter. Bitch.

Peter was smiling at her. Apparently the asshole really really really really really really liked her, too. Asshole. "Thank you for emerging from the swamp. As you can see, from my pink bekini, I'm having some real problems," the curly-haired asshole said as he was failing miserably to suppress laughter. 

She looked down at his pink bekini with her green eyes that happened to be the same shade as Peter's and grinned before looking back up at him. "Hmmm. Yes, it seems you are a bit gender-confused today," she said as she ran her hands along his sides to tug the strings to his bekini. "Society says that maybe you should be more manly..." She then started untying the strings to his bekini. "Let's start by taking it off."

Those must be his therapy sessions all the time. No wonder he feels better after therapy. What an asshole. This is the same bitch that gave him his silver Toyota Highlander. Or it could be gray. Who cares? I hate that fucking car! Because SHE gave it to him. 

"I'm starting to feel more manly already," Peter said as he was eating another piece of pizza. 

"ASSHOLE!" Kendrick called out to Peter as she flicked him off. 

"He is an asshole. That's why you are married to me, Pauno, the Greek God of parties, wine, and crack cocaine," Pauno said with authority as he ate another slice of pizza. He then manifested wine and crack cocaine.

Colonel Mac and Michael the Great Arc Angel ran to get wine and take a few lines of crack cocaine. 

Megara followed suit by downing a glass of wine and a line of crack cocaine. "I could definitely put these items to good use."

Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing also drank wine and took lines of crack cocaine. "NOW THIS IS A PARTY!!!" he shouted with a celebratory growl. 

Colonel Mac growled in series of quick growls. He then was popping wheelies as he flew over roots. His brown eyes were bugged out as he shouted, "WOO HOO!!!!"

Hollywood neighed in a high pitch and galloped over to where the lines of crack cocaine were. He was grazing on the crack cocaine. Paul the Goat flew off Hollywood before snorting lines of crack cocaine like his life depended on it. Hollywood then started galloping through the forest randomly. Paul the Goat ran after Hollywood and started neighing. 

Smeagull from the Hobbit also started snorting crack before following Paul the Goat and yelling, "My precious."

I drank a glass of wine before I sang! "PETER IS AN ASSHOLE!!!!!!"

Joebear growled loudly as he also got drunk on wine. He danced and let out a loud fart.

"Ooh hoo Bae!!!!!" I shouted in excitement. 

Peter took off his shirt and started drinking a bunch of wine and doing lines of crack cocaine. "I'll show you asshole! I'm the biggest asshole in the jungle!!!" Peter shouted.

"I'd say. You're a hot asshole, too," His bitch therapist said in a seductive tone as she began to stroke his hard cock. She used her other hand to cup his balls before she looked in his eyes. "I remember you like when I do this."

"Oh yeah I do," Peter said with a loud moan. "Eating pizza, drinking wine, doing lines of crack cocaine and getting stroked is heaven." He then started cumming all over his therapist's face.

"I'M GLAD I COULD BE HERE FOR THIS MOMENT!!!" Michael the Great Arc Angel shouted with a strong voice.

Colonel Mac let out a bit of suppressed laughter before speaking really quickly, "Well, I suppose that's what angels are for. I enjoy eating pizza, drinking wine, and doing lines of crack cocaine, but if only I didn't have to get back to work as a nursing home administrator, that would be great! Could you help me find a better job?" He was downing wine like it was going out of style.

"I sure could. Would you like to work for the government?" Michael the Great Arc Angel asked. 

"Anything would be better than working for and in a nursing home!" Colonel Mac said with conviction. He thrust his fist repeatedly in the air for effect.

"Would you like to work for the DEFACS office?" Michael the Great Arc Angel asked with a laugh. 

"Actually, I want HER job!" Colonel Mac said as he noticed Peter's therapist rubbing his body and leaving kisses all over him. 

Michael the Great Arc Angel looked at him in confusion and great disgust before he burst into a fit of laughter.

Colonel Mac gasped and shuddered. "Oh Christ! Not on him! On women! I'd like to be government-appointed sex therapist FOR WOMEN! I'm not gay, HOLY SHIT I'm not gay!!! Holy Shit I'm not gay. I'm NOT gay!" Colonel Mac said with vigor. 

Michael the Great Arc Angel let out a big sigh of relief before he laughed again. "Oh Thank God!" Then he got super serious. "Yes, I grant thee that job!" he exclaimed with authority. 

Colonel Mac then turned into a government-appointed sex therapist. His blonde hair was gelled down, and his beard was more epic than Santa Claus's. He wore a white long-sleeved button-down shirt with khakis pants and suspenders. "Thank you," he said with a big smile.

Peter looked down at his bitch therapist as he was rubbing her large right tit that was covered in leaves. The bitch was six feet tall, so she was only a foot and four inches shorter than he was. "Would you like some pizza... crack cocaine... wine?" He smiled awkwardly.

"I'd rather have your cock," she said as she looked up at him before she ran her mouth along his shaft and started rubbing his butt.

Peter gasped as he looked down at her. "WOW! You are good at giving blowjobs lady, wow!!!."

"Asshole!" I shouted as I ate another slice of pizza and drank wine. I threw a branch at Peter's head.

Joebear finished eating a whole pizza and growled. "Now I want tacos!!!!" he shouted. He then lifted me in the air and yelled "The Circle of Life!!!" Then the song from the Lion King started playing loudly in the swamp.

"Yes Bae Whuhhhh!!! Taco Tuesday!!!!" I shouted. "I'm hungry again... also, The Circle of Life!!! AS IT MOVES US ALL!!!"

"BY THE WAY, I love tacos, but you know what I like more?" Colonel Mac asked as he spun in a circle in his power wheelchair. 

"What? Macaroni and cheese?" I asked before I growled like a bear. 

Colonel Mac returned my growl. "Yes, but you know what I like more than macaroni and cheese?" he asked with random giggles. 

"What?" I asked.

Hollywood weighed randomly before eating swamp ass grass. Paul the Goat bleated as he fed his remaining slice of pizza to Smeagull. Okay, they're there.

"Taco Mac!" Colonel Mac yelled with loud laughter. 

The cast of PeeWee Herman started screaming. Apparently, "Taco Mac" is the phrase of the day. 

[clarenecessities]

spooky pranks

Word Count: 1627 Rating: PG

Summary: i guess this fic is just standing around and talking about pokemon now Chapter Warnings:  cartoon violence

[First] [Previous] [Next]

“I don’t know about this,” said Adrien, frowning at Marinette and Nino as they fiddled with a piece of string.

“No dude, no, it’s fine, don’t even worry about it,” said Nino. He was kneeling next to the front door of Marinette’s apartment, holding one end of the string against the frame as Marinette held the other, casting some kind of enchantment on the string itself. From the feel of the magic, Adrien was pretty sure it was a stiffening charm—hence his anxiety.

“I mean, what if somebody gets hurt?” asked Adrien, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Adrien, please. We’re professionals,” said Nino, clasping his free hand to his heart.

“Professional… pranksters?”

“Professional Alya wranglers,” Marinette corrected, smiling broadly.

“Yeah, you know, weirdly, that doesn’t make me feel better,” said Adrien.

The trouble had begun about thirty seconds ago, when Alya went downstairs to greet her mother and had left her bag upstairs. Nino had immediately decided it was a golden opportunity, Marinette had agreed, and Adrien had never been so scared in his entire life.

“Okay,” said Marinette, dropping her end of the string to the ground. “We’re good.”

“Have you done this before?” Adrien asked hesitantly.

“Nah,” said Nino, getting to his feet with an exaggerated groan, “You think we could pull the same shenanigans twice with that girl?”

“She’d see it coming a mile away,” Marinette agreed, solemnly shaking her head.

“She’d make us trip our own trap. She’s done it before and she’ll do it again,” said Nino. “Why make it easier for her?”

“I don’t think I understand human friendship,” said Adrien.

“It’s terribly straightforward,” said Plagg from the kitchen, poking his head out from behind the refrigerator. “They just do what they want with no rules or mind games or anything. Terrifically boring stuff.”

“I mean there are some rules,” Nino disagreed, “We’ve got like, a Bro Code.”

“But if you break it, do you lose like… an arm or your voice or something?” asked Adrien.

“All of your luck, perhaps?” added Plagg, grinning.

“Uh… no. I mean you might lose some friends,” said Nino, rubbing the back of his head. “If you had lent them like a movie or something you probably wouldn’t get that back. I guess yeah, generally, there aren’t any straight up curses involved in human friendship.”

“Oh, I disagree,” came Alya’s voice from the stairwell. “Only true friendship has curses. You have to get through it together.”

“Maybe the real curse was the friendships we made along the way,” said Marinette, grinning as she leaned around the door frame to see her better.

Alya slowed suspiciously as she reached the landing, eyes narrowing as she looked at Marinette. “Why do you have your guilty face on?”

“She feels bad for trash talking friendship,” Nino supplied innocently.

“Uh huh,” she said dubiously. “And the string on the ground?”

“Heck,” said Nino, with such force that he might as well have just sworn.

Marinette sighed, waving her wand to disenchant the string, stepping over the threshold and wrapping her arms around Alya. “Alright, fine,” she said dramatically, “You win this round, Césaire. We’ll get you next time.”

Alya wrapped her arms around Marinette in turn, snorting good-naturedly, “You’ll have to do way better than an extremely visible tripwire.”

“It was Nino’s idea,” said Marinette, pulling away to make a face at her.

“Hey I know it was a longshot, but like, imagine if it had worked!” said Nino, scooping the string off the ground and stuffing it into his pocket. “She woulda never lived it down!”

“And you’re not like, mad about this?” Adrien asked Alya, a little nervously.

“What, that they’re trying to catch up to the number one prankmaster? Hardly. I’m only disappointed their efforts were so… remedial,” said Alya, removing one arm from Marinette’s waist to put a triumphant fist against her own hip.

“Things are really different out here,” Adrien murmured, half to himself, half to Plagg.

“Oh, can you even imagine if someone tried that in a sídhe?” his guardian asked with a snort remarkably similar to Alya’s, “The charm would be absorbed in about a second. Even if it managed to trip somebody you’d more likely end up with blighted crops.”

“Jeez,” said Marinette, frowning a little, “that sounds kind of rough. I thought the sídhe were all about having fun and living free.”

“Oh, we are,” said Adrien sincerely, “It’s just that most of the aos sídhe take themselves way too seriously, and also that blighting crops is super fun.”

“Well it is,” said Plagg. “Haven’t you ever just like, smashed something? Started a fire? Popped a balloon? It’s a real rush. I’d do it all the time if people weren’t going to die or whatever.”

“Aaaand on that note, I’m out,” said Alya, rolling her eyes. Marinette passed her her bag with a rueful smile that the kitsune returned in equal measure, ruffling her bangs affectionately. “You keep the boys in line another day, huh? I’ll text you later.”

“You’d better,” said Marinette, in the warmest threat Adrien had ever heard.

“Later, nerds,” said Alya, giving a two-fingered salute to the room. “Oh, Mari, your parents said they’re gonna be downstairs for a while. I guess they’re reopening the potion bit for a few more hours, since things have calmed down. Your mother says, and I quote, ‘tell Marinette that she’s in charge and under no circumstances should anyone follow Plagg’s advice.’”

Plagg yowled in protest as Alya left. “I give great advice!”

“You give terrible advice and you know it,” said Adrien sourly. “Do you remember what you said to me before class yesterday?”

“Yeah, your first day of school ever, which I very helpfully took you to and arranged in the first place?” muttered Plagg.

“Yes, that one. What did you say?”

“I told you to go in and fight the biggest kid in the room, so everybody would know not to mess with you.”

Marinette and Nino groaned in tandem.

“What?” demanded Plagg, “That’s how you establish dominance!”

“If I were going to cat school, which is for cats,” said Adrien. “This happens to be a little more multicultural than you’re used to, Plagg.”

“Excuse you, I’m very cultured! I’ve been serving in the Fairy Court for almost—”

“No, like, a more multicultural school, Plagg,” said Adrien, rolling his eyes.

“What’s the difference?”

“Well,” said Marinette, “I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t most members of the court like, seasoned representatives of their various groups?”

“Mostly,” Plagg allowed, his flattened ears swiveling forward in interest. “Sometimes you get lone wolves such as myself, who just happen to be especially powerful and awe-inspiring.”

“But everyone involved is lobbying for a voice in the court,” she pointed out. “Kids go to school to like, learn.”

“Oh,” said Plagg, blinking. “Oh. I hadn’t actually thought of it like that.”

“You hadn’t thought of school as being for learning?” asked Adrien.

“Well excuse me for being used to refinement and political intrigue—”

“In what universe does ‘fight the biggest dude in the room’ equal refinement?” Nino asked, laughing incredulously.

“In the aos sídhe world,” said Plagg, turning his nose up primly.

“He’s actually right about that one,” Adrien admitted. “Like, if somebody walked in right now and put Plagg in a headlock, I’d pretty much have to respect them. It’s in like, my genes.”

“I mean I’d respect anyone who’d be willing to put a cat in a headlock,” said Marinette. “That many claws, that close to your face? Talk about guts.”

“Well let’s clarify, the toughest dude or the biggest dude? Like I’m definitely bigger than you guys, even if I couldn’t beat Catdad in a fight,” said Nino.

“Not you too,” groaned Adrien.

“Look, it’s adorable, I’m not gonna miss out on that. But yeah like, it would be significantly less impressive if somebody just came barreling in here and put me in a headlock, you know?”

“I suppose strongest then,” said Plagg, tilting his head to one side as he considered.

“Good, ‘cause like, biggest is def-o Ivan, but I don’t know if Adrien could take him,” said Nino, grinning at Adrien’s affronted gasp.

“He’s a giant rock monster Adrien, what did you expect,” Marinette laughed.

“Um, a little faith?”

“Dude I’ve known you exactly a day and I am one hundred percent certain Ivan would kick your ass. This isn’t even about faith, it’s about keeping you from getting squashed like a bug.”

“Well, who’s the strongest, then?” grumbled Adrien, unable to deny it. He was smiling in spite of himself, surprised at how much he was enjoying the gentle ribbing. He’d never been very good at taking things personally (though he could hold a mean grudge when pressed) so it was almost… refreshing, to be in an environment where he could relax a little, and know that teasing was just teasing.

“Out of the class?” asked Nino, frowning. “Hm… I guess it depends. In straight combat, probably Ivan—but as we saw today, our Marinette’s got a great head for strategy.”

“I’d say you could give Ivan a run for his money, Nino,” Marinette pointed out, smiling wryly. “You’re stronger than you realize, and your agility blows his out of the water.”

“Ha!” said Nino, grinning over at her, “Nino used Agility. It’s super effective!”

Adrien blinked.

Marinette, apparently picking up on his confusion, smiled over at him. “Oh, it’s from this game called Pokémon. I think Nino mentioned it earlier?”

“Yeah!” said Adrien, brightening, “Yeah, he actually showed me a couple episodes last night! It’s a game?”

“You bet your sweet cat ass it is,” said Nino. “Marinette, grab us some consoles. Things are about to get wild.”

[milominderbindered]

thirty days of skam fic: day eighteen aka, four ways that even and isak try to beat the heat this summer

beginning. accusation. restless. leaves. rainbow. flame. formal. under. move. silver. prepared. knowledge. denial. cans. order. thanks. look. summer. transformation. tremble. tent. mad. thousand. paper. winter. luxury. letters. promise. simple. future.

[ READ ON AO3 ]

i.

So, Oslo is in the middle of a fucking heatwave.

Isak didn't sign up for this. Summer is nice, sure, a bit of heat is great. But he's still Norwegian and he's pretty sure that means he just wants built to deal with endless weeks of baking hot sun. It's so warm that nothing helps; his and Even’s tiny flat turns into a sauna, no matter what they try and do to cool it down, because buildings like theirs were built to keep the heat in.  Isak is trying to complain less these days, but when it comes down to it, he feels rather justified in constantly whining about the heat. 

“Ugh,” he spits out, finally giving in and starting to tug off his jeans. He's been laying around the flat shirtless all day, but wearing anything at all seems like a pointless exercise when all he's doing is overheating. “It's officially too hot to wear clothes.”

From across the room, Even glances up, raising his eyebrows and watching Isak shuck off his jeans, followed by his sweaty underwear, until he's just lying naked and starfished out on their bed. 

“No complaining from me,” Even says, grinning. In theory he's supposed to be drawing, but Isak’s been watching him for ages and he knows Even has spent about twice as much time staring off into space as he has looking down at his sketchbook. So he doesn't feel particularly bad about distracting him. 

“Ehh, it's not actually any better though,” Isak complains a moment later. The problem isn't that he was wearing too-warm clothes before, it's just that the air itself is too hot, and that means there is nothing Isak can do to escape. He feels sweaty even just lying back against their blankets. “There should be some kind of rule of the universe, saying it's never allowed to get so warm that you're even hot when you're naked.” 

“But baby, you're always hot when you're naked,” Even says, grinning as he throws down his pencil and starts heading towards Isak. Isak just rolls his eyes, but watches rather happily; Even’s shirtless too, wearing just an old pair of basketball shorts, and he looks all long and gorgeous and starkly pale in the bright, warm sunlight filtering through their open windows. His hair’s a bit sweaty and sticking to his forehead, but Isak imagines he doesn't look any better either; Even is still the most gorgeous sight in the world.

As Even drops playfully onto the mattress and crawls over Isak’s body, Isak warns him, “It’s too hot to have sex, Even.”

But somehow, they end up spending the whole afternoon fooling around. Neither of them get anything done at all -- and that is why ‘just don't wear any clothes’ eventually gets shelved as an idea on how to beat the heat. Their lives would grind to a complete halt if they tried that every day. 

ii. 

At first, it seems obvious to just leave all the windows and the doors to their little balcony open, so some air can get into the flat and cool it down. But there are two problems with that. The first is that there isn't actually a breeze coming from anywhere, so it's just as hot outside as it is inside, and that means the stale heat just sits around the flat as if the whole place was sealed up anyway.

The second problem is that every bug in Oslo seems to take that as invitation to invade their home.  After spending a whole hour one night catching giant moths in cups and setting them free outside, because Even is terrified but also refuses to let Isak kill anything, Isak nixes the window idea as well.

iii.

“Why don't we just go out?” Even says, one particularly hopeless day when they're taking it in turns to stand in front of the open freezer. “There must be somewhere nearby with air conditioning.” 

“A coffee shop?” Isak suggests. That's one of the problems with living in a country not built for this sort of heat; of course old buildings like theirs don't have air conditioning, but there's no guarantee that shops do either. But a relatively big cafe opened up just down the street recently, and he's pretty sure they will at least have a fan.

So Isak messages the guys, and puts on the bare minimum amount of clothes he can justify, and they head off. The walk is sweltering but the first step into the coffee shop makes it all worth it -- Isak is immediately hit by a glorious wall of cool air.

Just spending all day away from their flat might not be a perfect solution either, though. The guys meet them there, and it's fun to hang out, especially since Jonas and Magnus are both working this summer, and Mahdi’s been away visiting his aunt, so they haven't all had as many chances to hang out as usual. But there's only so much you can do in a coffee shop. They can't drink or skate or get high or even have very loud conversations. After about an hour, it just gets relentlessly boring, and by hour two Isak is almost wishing for their hellfire-temperature home. 

Because that's the other thing; as much as Isak is loathe to admit it, being with Even has turned him into a total homebody. He still likes seeing his friends and going to parties and stuff, but at the end of the day, Isak would rather be curled up in bed with his boyfriend watching a movie and getting his hair stroked than going on any sort of vast adventure.

They do hang out with the guys for a bit longer, eventually going back to Mahdi’s cus he has a basement room which stays a bit colder. They play video games and Even teaches Magnus some terrible dance moves and it's fun, if still way too warm to get anything productive done. 

Still, Isak and Even are home by 21:00 that night, and Isak immediately drags Even into bed.

“Can we just stay home tomorrow?” he asks, from his safe space cuddled up in the crook of Even’s arm.  “I don't care if it's gonna be a million degrees in here all day, going outside is exhausting.”

“You're so antisocial,” Even teases him, but it sounds fond as he presses a kiss into Isak’s hair. “Of course we can stay home, baby. We’ll just pretend it's our own private sauna.”

iv. 

The water pressure in their shower is awful. When he was younger and it got too hot in the summer, Isak used to just take lots of hour-long cold showers, but here it barely makes any difference -- it's like standing under a gentle rainfall and just ends with Even complaining that their water bill is gonna go up, when it's already too high because all too often they try to shower together and end up making out against the wall for an hour and forgetting to turn the water off.

Their tiny flat doesn't have a bath, either, and Isak resolutely refuses to break into another private pool for as long as he lives -- no matter how many time Even goes on about how romantic it would be to recreate their first kiss -- so he's long given up on water-based solutions by the third week of the heatwave. 

Even, though, has always been the more enterprising out of the two of them, and one day he comes home from the morning shift at work with nothing other than an inflatable plastic kiddie pool tucked under his arm.  

Isak bursts out laughing when he sees it. It's the kind you'd use to cool down a toddler, not try and cram two adult guys who are both over six feet tall and have enough limbs between them that even their double bed seems like a tight fit sometimes. He says as much to Even, but Even just grins, and twenty minutes later Isak somehow finds himself stark naked and folded into the inflatable pool in the middle of their living room floor. 

They really are too big for it. They sit across from each other, both with their knees drawn up to their chests, ankles tangled, most of their limbs knocking together because of the lack of space between them. The cold water barely comes up to Isak’s hip, so the pool isn't even doing its job very well.

“This isn't as romantic as I imagined,” Even admits, when he tries to lean forwards to kiss Isak and ends up sloshing water out the sides of the pool. Isak laughs at him.

“This isn't romantic at all. I just have a cold ass and the rest of me is still burning.”

It's lucky that Even looks so cute, sat there with his flushed pink chest and big rueful grin, or Isak might actually care about being uncomfortable. As it is, he just smiles back -- and then, all of a sudden, lunges forwards and tackles Even right out of the pool. Water sloshes everywhere and they wind up in a tangle on the floor, laughing and soggy and squirming all over the place until Isak finally manages to pin Even down.

“Kiss me,” he demands through a smile. Even does.  Isak thinks maybe this wasn't such a terrible idea.  And he thinks that maybe, the heatwave isn’t so bad if he has Even by his side.  Actually, as he lays down and lets Even kiss him some more in the puddles of cold water, Isak thinks this is the most fucking blissful summer of his whole life so far.

(Of course, the next day, when the downstairs neighbour asks if Even and Isak know why a damp patch has suddenly appeared on her ceiling, Isak does decide to throw out the paddling pool. For the sake of their lease.)

[kazosa]

Second Chances - Jeff x Reader: Chapter 19

Summary: Reader and Jeff work a project and become fast friends. The project ends and they go their separate ways, neither forgetting the other. With Hollywood being a small community, you two bump into one another either at events or projects, but there is always something keeping you apart. Will the obstacles ever end? Chapter 19 Summary: It’s 2005. Reader and Jared go out for drinks. Jeff comes home early. Warnings: language (as usual), angst, accusations fly A/N: Please leave comments or let me know if you want to be tagged, etc Word count: 2500 Catch up here: Masterlist Tags: @jml509  @jasoncrouse  @yellatthetopofyourlungs  @bookchic20  @prettyepiic  @rizflo-blog  @curious-sub7  @backseat-negan  @warriorqueen1991

     As usual, the summer went too quickly, and before they knew what hit them, you were back on your familiar routine of riding the Norton from Jeff’s house to the Gilmore Girls set in Burbank. Weeks turned into months and it got to be 2005 in a hurry.      Jared wasn’t on the show as much anymore and you missed your friend. When he was in town, you spent at least one of those days out on the town making the most of things. Since he’d just turned 21 before filming started, you half-way felt like you needed to go out with him just to keep him out of trouble. If his mouth didn’t get him in hot water, you were literally picking his huge ass up off the floor. Not an easy feat when your buddy is seven inches taller than you. It took effort from you to get Jared in your Jeep, but you always got him home safe. Jeff was less appreciative of the time you spent with Jared because he was the one you called to pick you up from Jared’s house and then drive you back to get his truck home or load up the Norton. When Jeff was away working you’d just stay at Jared’s. To you Jared was your giant, little brother.

     He had no right to be mad and he knew it. There were countless times he’d gone out after work for drinks, smoke his throat raw and never think twice about it. When she would call him to get her, he knew she was doing it to be safe by not driving herself. He hated to admit it, but it sometimes irritated the shit out of him that she was out partying with another man, a younger man than himself. She did, almost always, remember to let him know where she was. This time though, he’d come home to an empty house with only Bisou to greet him. It’d been dark for a while and (Y|N) wasn’t home. When he’d gotten cleaned up and taken care of his luggage, she still wasn’t there, so he called her. …. straight to voicemail. He grabbed his coat and keys and slammed the door behind him as he went to the garage and his truck.

     You’d wanted to go home after your second drink, but Jared can be very convincing. Plus, he hadn’t yet learned the art of pacing oneself. He wasn’t sloppy drunk, but he was definitely having a good time. As usual, you’d taken his keys as soon as you’d gotten to the bar, which was within walking distance of his house.      You were throwing darts with some people you’d met that night. It was in the back of the bar away from the crowd. You little group suddenly got quiet and were staring at something behind you.      “What?” you asked.      One of the group pointed and you turned around to see a shirtless Jared grinning from ear to ear at you and there was an equally tall, but much more muscular man, behind him with his hand on Jared’s shoulder.      “Shit,” you said to yourself.      “There’s my (Y|N|N),” Jared was extra happy.      “Does this belong to you,” the bouncer asked, clearly unamused.      Your little group forgotten, “Did he break anything?”      “Nah, just get him outta here,” the bouncer said, turning Jared over to you.      Looking up at your slightly wobbly friend, “Dude, where’s your shirt?”      He shrugged, “I dunno, I was hot.”      He hugged you close and wiggled.      “Oh, my God, you’re gross! Please tell me that’s sweat!” you were not thrilled with his sweat being transferred to you.      “Yeah, probably some beer, too,” he grinned again.      You grab his arm by the elbow and start leading him out of the bar. He was pretty compliant, so you let go of his arm. You were about to the door and were going to say something to him when you turned to look for him and he wasn’t there.      “Goddamnit, Jared,” you grumbled and spotted your jolly giant easily.     You went to him and took his arm again.      “(Y|N|N), you’re a party pooper,” he giggled.      “Because you’re my family and I love you, is the lonely reason I’m not ditching your drunk ass right now. C’mon before the bouncer throws you out,” you urged.      He grumbled a little more, but not too much and let you take him outside to your Jeep. He hated riding in it, but you refused to let your soft-top Jeep sit outside all night, you didn’t care what kind of neighborhood it was, it was too easy to break into. When he was sober enough, he could walk his ass back to his truck and drive it home.      You pulled into his driveway and put the Jeep in park so Jared could get out and open the garage door. He moseyed in and grabbed a water from the refrigerator he had in the garage and guzzled it. You shook your head hoping that it wouldn’t revisit too soon.      Once you had the garage door closed and were inside his house, “You staying?” Jared asked.      “May as well,” you told him. “Jeff won’t be home until sometime tomorrow.”      You didn’t think you’d be staying out late that night, but it was after midnight and you both had worked that day. You really just wanted to sleep, but Jared’s place was a solid 30-minute drive from Jeff’s house and you weren’t sure you’d make it home.      “Make yourself at home, you know where everything is,” he said as he walked away to his room. You knew he’d be taking a shower.      It wasn’t until you opened the door to the closet that it finally occurred to you that maybe you spent too much time at Jared’s place. In the closet was your extra blanket, you needed it even in winter because Jared kept it so cold inside, and a basket with your toiletries and clothes to sleep in inside of it.      A sick feeling settled into your stomach and it wasn’t because of the rum. You grabbed your things and went into the spare bathroom to take a shower, wrestling with what the right thing to do was. Do you take a shower and go home or do you stay? Either way, the stale bar smell needed to go, not to mention the Jared cooties. Stay or go? Your guilt was winning.      Finishing quickly, because sleep was calling to you, you went out to the kitchen to find Jared rummaging for food. He had a pile of food out on the counter that could feed five people. He was wearing gym shorts and that was it. You were cold and you had on sweats and one of Jeff’s old t-shirts and were still cold. Jared had the metabolism of a flippin’ humming bird, not even a hint that he was cold.      You put your folded clothes on the coffee table and the basket with your toiletries on top. It made you think to check your phone for messages. You reached inside your purse to the inside pocket for your phone. Holding it in your hand, you were almost scared to turn on the display. The blue light was flashing though…      Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit… Jeff had called and text twice.      “WHERE ARE YOU?” was the text from Jeff.      “What’s the matter?” Jared asked, shockingly sober and holding another water.      “Jare, I need to go, Jeff is looking for me. I think he’s home,” you told him, your guilt was rising quickly.

     Jeff went by the bar first, it had already closed. He didn’t see (Y|N)’s Jeep, but he did see a lonely truck he assumed was Jared’s. He made the trip to Jared’s house in moments. He knew the way, he’d picked up (Y|N) several times, but he’d never been inside or met Jared, she was always outside waiting for him when he would pull up and the house would be dark.      This time, it was like the house was lit up like it was on fire. Good. He’d been thinking about what he was gonna say when he walked in, better to have everybody on the same page. Now was as good a time as any to get the answers to questions that had been bugging the shit out of him. If he had to beat Jared’s ass, so be it.      Amped up, he took the steps to the porch in one leap and was banging on the door like a madman and ringing the bell at the same time.

     The banging on the door scared the hell out of you. Before you could say anything, Jared was walking toward the door and opening it.      “Who the hell…” you got up to see who it was.      You heard the door bang against the wall and boots on the tile floor. Jeff’s deep voice echoed off the floor and walls. Jeff looked around the corner and saw you. You had obviously just showered and he reeled around to look at Jared standing there in just his shorts. It looked bad, it looked really bad.      “One of you want to tell me what the FUCK is going on here?!” his voice boomed.      You wanted to hug him to calm him down, but he didn’t put off the “I need a hug” vibe.      “Jared, this is Jeff. Jeff, this is Jared,” you introduced them.      “Nice to finally meet you,” Jared held out his hand. “(Y|N) usually hauls my ass back home so I can pass out in my own bed.”      Jeff didn’t take Jared’s hand. “Is that what happened tonight?” he asked.      You only nodded.      “I wanted to go out tonight. (Y|N) can’t drop the big sister, production-assistant-protector role, so she came with me.”      “I make sure he gets home safe and if I’m too drunk, I stay here, if not, I go home,” you told Jeff. “I was just getting ready to leave.” You pointed at your clothes and things stacked on the coffee table.      “You keep things here? When I’m gone, just how often are you here?” he was starting to fume. “Are you two screwing around behind my back?”      “Don’t you dare give me that shit. I know full fucking well you go out for drinks after work and don’t think I don’t see how women look at you. I was one of them for fucks sake. I saw Serena every damn day for a month be all over you and that was at work where there was no alcohol to loosen inhibitions. Do I say one goddamned word about it? Fuck no, because I trust you and know that you wouldn’t do that to our relationship!” A terrible thought suddenly wriggled its way into your brain, “Are you screwing around on me? Are you trying to make this about me when it’s you that’s messing around?”      Jeff was taken aback by your words.      “Yeah, kinda sucks when someone assumes you’re fucking around, doesn’t it? Maybe I should just stay here after all,” you couldn’t believe this shit was happening. Todd had screwed around on you and now Jeff? He didn’t really answer your question, maybe he was just too stunned? It was kinda tough to be with someone that didn’t trust you to hang out with your guy friend. Jared had never made a pass at you and you were pretty sure he meant it the way it sounded when he said you were doing your “big sister” thing. Jared was definitely a good-looking guy and you loved him, like family, but he was so not your type. Jeff was your type, the real-life version of tall, dark and handsome. He was goofy as all hell and his laugh was so great. You loved to tease him as much as he liked to be dorky for you. And damnit, when your guy laughs (hard) at your stupid jokes, what’s not to love? Jealousy. Yeah, you did spend a lot of time with Jared. Yeah, you kept things at his house. At the time, you didn’t feel guilty. Showering and putting on clean clothes after a night at the bar didn’t seem like a bad thing, until that night.      Going home with Jeff was not something you wanted to do at the moment. For the first time ever, you didn’t want to be anywhere near him. He was right there and you couldn’t even look at him now. You left everything right where it was, including a too-shocked-to-move Jared, and went to the spare room. At that moment, there was no point in discussing it further, you would only yell and that wasn’t helpful. A few moments later, you heard the front door close and Jared turned the locks, then Jeff’s truck as he drove away. It was two days to Valentine’s Day.      Jared knocked on your door, “(Y|N), can I come in?”      “I don’t want to talk, Jared,” you called out to him.      “That’s bullshit, you make me talk when I don’t want to,” he said and tried the door, finding it unlocked.      He sat on the end of the bed.      “So, that could have gone better,” he said.      You were lying on your bed, a sobbing mess.      “Did he say anything to you?” you sobbed between breaths.      “He killed me with his eyes, but that was it,” Jared answered.      “Why’d I walk away?” you sniffled.      “You’re stubborn, just like him, I’m guessing. Call him tomorrow……later, and talk it out,” he suggested. “For now, I’ll get you tissues,” he said, his big hand slapping your thigh as he got up to get the tissues.      Boy, I really fucked this up, you thought.      You laid on the bed trying to calm down. Rational thought was not coming to you. You were mad that Jeff didn’t trust you to be with Jared and not make a pass at him and that he thought you wouldn’t stop him if he did make a move. Jeff would be gone for a week or two at a time and you never even considered he might mess around. Lord knows, he would get plenty of opportunities any time he went out. If you let yourself think about what he was doing when he was out without you, you would probably get jealous, too.      You made yourself think about things from Jeff’s perspective. The nights where you’d call him to pick you up from a friend’s, no… a guy’s house that he’d never met. A guy you talked about often and spent all day with. A guy you would go out for drinks with and made sure he got home safe. A guy at whose house you kept a change of clothes and toiletries.      You wrestled with what to do for a long time. Go home now? Sleep then go? Stay at Jared’s (or somewhere) for a few days until Jeff wanted you back? Eventually, you fell into a restless, nightmare-ish, sleep.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

"Resident Evil 7: Biohazard" spoiler-filled review

Well, I went ahead and replayed "Resident Evil 7" after finishing "Resident Evil 8" twice. I wanted to see if the former was still as good as I remember it being when I first played it several years ago.

Sure enough, it is still my favorite RE game so far (I have only played 4, but still, I don't think any of the other games will beat RE7 in my eyes) and one of my favorite survival horror games (my favorite gaming genre).

RE7 is why I even got into the RE game franchise at all. I always (and still do) prefer "Silent Hill's" games, and never had a strong desire to play any of the RE games. I just...wasn't impressed, I suppose, with what I saw and knew.

RE7 changed that and now I have played three other games in the franchise and have the intention to play most of the others (the ones on PC only because I don't have, can't afford, and don't need a console right now).

I actually have less to say about RE7 than I do about RE8, but that isn't a bad thing, mind you.

Anyway, onto the review!

The Good

Setting/Locations

I liked the location the game took place in. It was a departure from what RE had offered so far, bringing us back to the roots of the series in a way. The original "Resident Evil" took place in a creepy mansion, and RE7 takes place in three creepy, rundown houses.

Horror games taking place in a city (which RE2 and RE3's remakes did) doesn't mean they're not capable of being intense horror experiences, but I just like the classic aesthetic and age-old trope of "haunted" houses. Also, by taking place in the woods and not in a city (nowhere near a city from what I could tell), RE7 increases the tension by making you feel completely isolated. There's nowhere to run, except the woods, and who knows if you'll find help in time.

I also loved the part where you play as Mia and you have to initially explore the wrecked ship without any weapons, thus causing you to have to be cautious around monsters while still trying to get things done. Even when you get ammo, it doesn't turn the segment into a walk in the park.

Plot

The story was good, starting off as a bunch of fucked up mysteries (What happened to this house? What happened to this family? Were they always crazy? What's with the ability to "glue" severed limbs back on? What's with the crazy regeneration ability for Jack? Why is Mia so crazy and violent? What's with the mold?) and does provide answers at a steady pace as you progress until all is revealed by the end.

Still, it's not like it makes things less disturbing. In some ways, it makes it even more so. I mean, we have a kid with special powers who actually just wants a family but seems to lack any sense of compassion or mercy, probably because she was kept in a lab all her life. We have a family she "corrupted" and led to the deaths of 3 of the 4. Then you have Mia, Ethan's wife, who has been forced to turn evil on occasion, even against her own husband, and she nearly died. And, well, we have Ethan who is stuck in the middle of this giant mess.

It's not an over-the-top horror story, and while it relies on some horror game tropes, it never gets stale. It uses the tropes wisely, creating an atmospheric survival horror experience.

First Person

I am not a big fan of the 3rd person perspective that the other RE games have (minus RE8). I'm not a fan of it in general, and it actually makes the game less scary. You know you're playing as a character because you can clearly see them, so it's more like watching a movie, I guess. It can still be scary just not as much, in my opinion.

The first-person perspective is perfect for horror games because they make you feel like you're there. You are seeing things from the character's own eyes, like you're in their place, so the danger feels much more real. I'm so glad RE7 seems to have broken this trend as is possibly steering the franchise towards first person.

Weapons

Now, I was debating whether to put this in "the good" or "mixed thoughts" section, but I'm keeping it here. RE8 does have the benefit of weapon customization, so you can give your weapons more firepower, decrease their reload time, have them carry more bullets before reloading...RE7 has none of this. What you see is what you get.

Now, I don't see this as an issue, in fact, it's kind of a good thing. Since the weapons you find are going to remain as they are for the whole game, including the shotgun which only holds 4(?) rounds, you have to be smart. I think there is less ammo in RE7 than in RE8, too, so you really have to be careful. If you're not implementing some sort of strategy in fights in RE7, you could find yourself running out of ammo or not switching between weapons fast enough. You can only hold 4 in the active slots, too, which limits you further because you may have to swap two weapons during a fight.

It's not annoying...it's horrifying in its own way! I mean, if you have a bunch of ammo laying around and you can make your weapons Doom-style in terms of power, then where is the fun? Where is the horror? You can just blast away all day at enemies. By limiting what you have like RE7 does, you feel like it's a much more intense gaming experience, not to mention a more realistic one. I mean, in reality, you wouldn't be able to even carry that many weapons at once, nor would you be able to easily craft lots of ammo, nor would you be able to upgrade your weapons on the fly.

Graphics & Soundtrack

The soundtrack was very fitting, adding additional chills to the already haunting atmosphere but never forcing the "mood," so to speak. Graphics still look fantastic even now after 4 years have passed. Sure, RE8 has more polished visuals, but RE7 still is a very attractive game in terms of graphics quality. Lots of great lighting effects, including a lot of shadows to build more suspense since you're not running around in broad daylight or in places that are fully lit (most of the time).

Characters

While there aren't any remarkable characters in the game, I think they're all still memorable.

Jack is an absolute psychopath who loves to stalk Ethan while taunting him. When you see what he used to be like later in the game, it's almost sad because you can tell how distraught he was at what b became of him and his family.

Marguerite is the crazy bug lady, trying to get you to eat her gross food.

Lucas is the wide-eyed, sadistic killer who likes to make his victims play morbid games.

Zoe is the only sane one in the family and provides Ethan with much-needed guidance.

Mia comes off as the typical "wifey" type but she can actually kick some ass and knows how to use guns.

Ethan is a very resilient and noble character who cares about his family and would do anything for them.

Eveline is a creepy, weird girl (a trope but it still works here), but her backstory is kind of sad when you think about it: She has been raised in a lab her whole life as an experiment and has no concept of what love and compassion are, and acts out like a disturbed child more than an evil monster.

Bosses

I thought the boss fights were all pretty challenging, especially your final encounter with Jack and the fight with Marguerite. Eveline was easier to deal with, but when you think about it, it was still messed up considering you had just killed her and now she was mutating into a horrifying monster in an attempt to get revenge.

Sure, there weren't many boss fights, but a game doesn't need to have a dozen of them to be good. As long as what you get is entertaining and challenging, then it's all good to me.

Mixed Thoughts

The gross (and sometimes goofy) mold monsters posed a significant threat, a lot of it because you have to deal with them in small areas. They're so weird-looking, so inhuman, yet they make up the majority of the enemies in the game. It's the mold monsters and Marguerite's evil bugs.

They served their purpose well and provided some decent jump scares, but I wish there had been a bit more variety. I'm not sure what considering the location but I feel like there could have been one or two more monster types (like the nasty spider babies from "Not a Hero"). Hell, even having some gators around for Ethan to deal with would have been fun.

The Bad

Nothing!

Final thoughts:

I really love "Resident Evil 7." It's fun to play and chilling all at once, which is what I want out of horror games. It's easily the best thing to happen to RE since probably RE2 or RE3 (the original versions), and gave the series a much-needed change in direction.

Grade: A

Resident Evil Village: B+

Resident Evil 2 (2019 remake): A-

Resident Evil 3 (2020 remake): B-