#General Tulius

[peppermintsaysrandomthings]

Adding more info about my Dragonborn because I can!

The thalmor they have met in Skyrim have always been extremely racist against Azul, even though they Khajiit and thalmor are supposed to be allies. Azul grew up in Elsweyr and the thalmor that are stationed in Elsweyr are at least polite, if rather dismissive.

They’ve never been a huge fan of the thalmor, since they have a very different set of belief. They were also pretty neutral on the empire, but do fight on the side of the empire in the civil war because well… the Stormcloaks are the stormcloaks.

Plus a few of the REBEL JARLS say that they reckon that Ulfric’s rebellion is for Ulfric’s ego and the rebel jarl of Riften literally thinks that something is wrong with her song because he spoke out against Ulfric! Plus quite a few of the rebel jarls are kinda incompetent.

^That does not mean that the imperial jarls are much better (Morthal’s imperial Jarl).

I also think it’s funny to join the empire + dark brotherhood, win the war for the imperials and then kill the emperor (or vise versa).

[moodcrab]

The Skyrim Opening Makes No Sense!

YouTube has recently been recommending a lot of people playing Skyrim for the first time, mostly from channels by young people exploring very old games... BETHESDA! This means for the first time in a decade I've watched the Skyrim vanilla opening over and over and... Well I guess I never really thought about it in detail. Before I started modding it was just something tedious to get past... But watching it retrospectively along with commentary from a fresh point of view I've noticed that the Skyrim Intro Makes No Sense!

So we wake up on the cart next to Ulfric, a man who is gagged because he can literally murder people with his voice... But all our hands are bound in front of us... Just like, take the gag off dude. Like it sucks that apparently that bit of cloth is more powerful than the Thu'um, but you could just reach up and take it out of your mouth, fuck we'll help you if it's at an awkward angle or whatever, this is literally all our lives and your whole rebellion at stake, that's all.

General Tulius is here, meeting up with the Thalmor that he totally trusts, that's totally not sus that they knew to be here at all... Makes you wonder why he didn't just execute Ulfric on the spot as soon as he was caught doesn't it? It's not like he's giving Ulfric a trial or anything, as far as the Empire is concerned Ulfric is guilty. Tulius for some reason just decided to bring Ulfric to a town to execute him, not even the nearest town to where he was caught either. Did he want witnesses? Ok just leave a handful of Stormcloaks alive, they aren't going to lie about seeing Ulfric beheaded.

Nevermind we're here now, quickly, kill Ulfric and bring a swift end to this mess... After I make a little speech. And after this priestess makes a little speech. And after we execute this nobody Stormcloak. And after we execute the random in the rags who we aren't even sure is guilty of anything. Why are we here again?

Oh yeah, we were "caught crossing the border" right? Take a deep breath before we delve into this hole that Bethesda dug for itself for literally no reason; baring in mind that in all previous games where you begin as a prisoner they never explicitly say why you are a prisoner. What crime are you accused of, are you guilty or innocent, that was all your headcannon and Skyrim needn't have been any different. So... Exactly what border were we caught illegally crossing?

Well, there are numerous examples of the game implying or outright stating that the player character is not from Skyrim, even if you choose to play a Nord. Every race specific response from Hadvar, for example, or when Galmar asks why an outsider would want to join the Stormcloaks. So you definitely crossed a national border... The only problem is, as Ralof confirms, the Imperial ambush happened at Darkwater Crossing, a location that is nowhere near a national border. Helgan is in fact closer to the border than Darkwater Crossing, but that doesn't matter because, as Tulius and the Fort Nugart Note confirmes, the border to Cyrodiil is snowed in, hence his recruiting locally and not relying on Imperial reinforcements.

The only border that Ralof could possibly be talking about is the Eastmarch-Rift border, both Holds that are Stormcloak territory, so why the Imperial Legion would care about someone random crossing it I don't know. And even if they weren't Stormcloak Holds, as we all know from actually playing the rest of the game, crossing Hold borders isn't illegal. In fact it actually erases your wanted level.

Again, nobody forced Bethesda to make it cannon that The Last Dragonborn was caught crossing a border they physically couldn't have crossed, illegally, despite the fact it isn't illegal. It's literally one line of dialogue, this was entirely avoidable.

What's that bone chilling roar? IT'S NOTHING! Hurry up and kill this obviously not a rebel (before Ulfric, the actual terrorist). It's fair to say they couldn't have guessed that that noise was coming from a dragon, but to assert that it's nothing!? With those oh so trustworthy Thalmor just down the street? Yeah probably nothing, keep Ulfric at the bottom of the list. Gods I fucking love damn lists!

Well it turns out that the terrifying roar didn't just come from absolutely nothing. It in fact came from absolutely something. Nobody could have foreseen this. The something it absolutely was, is a dragon, and in the chaos Ulfric somehow got away. Again, nobody could have foreseen this, in fact it's pretty much the opposite of what Tulius was going for here.

In our desperate escape we run straight past two giant city gates because Tulius ordered us to use the unnecessarily labyrinthian, giant-spider infested escape route through the keep that's literally collapsing on us instead.

We get a choice, go with Ralof, a fellow prisoner who has risked his life to save ours, or Hadvar, someone who was perfectly willing to kill us knowing full well we were innocent, but he feews weelly bawd abowd id 🥺. Fuck off Hadvar, you "just following orders, I'll pay your corpse more respect than your life, torture is a necessary evil" bitch! And fuck this opening for not letting me skip anything! I may not be a big fancy "great American novel" writer like Emil Pagliarulo, but still I think this could have used a second draft.

[mrsamuelstreameroutofcontext]

"Stop rebelling, okay? Pack it in. Otherwise, i'll be sending you, along with many dogs to Molag Bal."

-cut General Tulius voiceline.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B25GbUdot20&t=913s

[moodymisty]

Based purely on looks and sexiness, who would you choose between Ulfric Stormcloak and General Tulius?

Purely on looks? Ulfric 110% absolutely zero competition xD

[booksandblanketnests]

The civil war quest line in Skyrim always get to me when it comes to Whiterun.

I usually end up siding with the imperials for both personal and role play reasons. When General Tulius sends you off to Whiterun, Jarl Barlgruf will ask you to deliver an axe to Ulfric Stormcloak, basically as a gift and to test the waters in a way. When you do get to Wildhelm and try to deliver the axe on Barlgruufs behalf, Ulfric will apologize and turn you away. It’s important to mention that Ulfric and Barlgruuf used to be friends. And as far as I can tell, pretty good(and close) friends at that. I can only imagine how Barlgruuf feels when the Dragonborn shows up as a soldier and messenger in Whiterun, being told that his once close old friend plans to siege his home.

I can honestly see it in my mind. Barlgruuf offering his sword, asking his once friend to tell him it’s not true. Getting his sword pushed back into him, and told to stand. They cannot fight properly if he grovels, mourning a friendship that Ulfric feels is long over.

Both feel betrayed, but for entirely different reasons.

(Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I’m autistic and it’s been a long day) (on another note, do y’all have any thoughts?)

[ihatetheinternetandeveryoneonit]

Only One They Fear: A Skyrim/ Keeping Up Appearances Crossover fanfic

Chapter 1: A Most Distressing Holdiay

Richard Bucket was no mere mortal, his neighbors always said. His wife would be quite proud to hear that, just so long as she didn't hear the reason.

“Richaaaard!” Her vibrato rang over the Jerall peaks, echoing back to assault his ears on all sides.

“What is it now, Hyacinth?” He couldn’t bother to hide the exhaustion from his voice any longer; the journey on the overpriced cart had been far from picturesque, as Hyacinth had incessantly reminded him.

“Don’t you see that our pony is walking with his head down? It looks quite common.” She pursed her lips, clasping her handbag.

“He’s tired, dear. We all are.”

“Yes, but does he have to show it?”

“To who?? There’s not a single soul this way from here to Helgen!”

“Well, we must keep our dignity, mustn’t we?” Hyacinth said with a pat on Richard’s knee. “We cannot grow complacent, just because the countess of Bruma rejected our company to lodge at her castle.”

“We certainly cannot,” Richard grumbled, grimacing at the recollection of the scene Hyacinth had made at that revelation.

But he needn’t dwell on his mortification for long.

“You there!”

All three of their heads snapped up to a proper dignified level at the sight of two—three-four! Four quite large armored men rounded the corner ahead, sporting scaled cuirasses, blue cloaks, and a most unsightly standard of personal grooming.

“Thank Talos!” The first one cried. “Our supplies have run dry. Had to retreat in a rush, you see.”

Hyacinth was none too pleased with the way they eyed their cargo. “I will have you know, gentlemen, that I did not skimp on luggage and I refuse to let those efforts go to waste. I won’t be outdressed by the rifraff of Solitude just because I happened upon a few ruffians on the road!”

Richard buried his face in his hands.

Unsurprisingly, this small militia band was undeterred by her words. One soldier stood by the couple, hand pointedly resting on his sword, as the rest fiddled with the luggage straps.

“Mind the china!” Hyacinth squeaked. “It’s a wedding present all the way from Skingrad!”

“Hyacinth!” Richard hissed. “Shut up!”

“What Sheridan would say if he could see us now,” She tsked. “To see his Mummy mugged and relinquished of her designer luggage. And to see Daddy unarmed to defend her honor. At least we know he’s safe up in the college of the bards.”

“Perhaps Daddy would have a proper sword if Sheridan hadn’t taken 500 gold for a third set of ‘silken pyjamas…’” Richard muttered.

A snapping branch caught their attention, as well as that of the soldiers.

“An ambush!” The man beside them cried, unsheathing his sword.

But it was too late. A bolas flew his way, the cord wrapping around his arms and the weights flying tight around him and knocking the sword from his hand.

Richard and Hyacinth turned to see the rest of their captors stumble to the ground in a similar fashion and imperial legionnaires emerge from the trees.

“Ulfric Stormcloak,” an older imperial with fine armor approached one of the larger brutes, eyeing him down.

“General Tullius,” the brute replied.

“General?” Hyacinth perked up. “Finally, someone of significance. Perhaps with my guidance, he can clear up this mess.”

Richard rolled his eyes.

“Excuse me, General!” Hyacinth held on to her feathered silk hat, jumped to her feet and hopped off the cart. “Thank you ever so much for your assistance! Seeing as my husband came unprepared, perhaps you could accompany us to Solitu—?”

A sword trust in front of her face froze her to the spot.

“Check the cart,” Tulius barked.

“Stolen goods, no doubt.” A legionnaire peeked beneath the tarp at the pile of luggage.

Hyacinth scoffed. “Well, if you do mind!”

The sword pressed against her neck.

It took several minutes of rather uncouth handling of their valuables before reporting to their superior that it was, ultimately, just some mismatch of kitch.

To that, Richard shrank into a somehow more compact size than normal beneath Hyacinth’s gaze.

“Most likely a plot to smuggle these Stormcloaks into Cyrodill.” Tullius shook his head. “Arrest them too.”

Hyacinth squawked at the sudden manhandling as the soldier tied her wrists together. “This is an outrage. A couple of our social standing? Accused of smuggling? If we were associated with the criminal world, surely it would be over white-collar crimes! You really think we would let these—these flea-ridden ruffians anywhere near my fine stationary, much less my walking daytime hats?? No offense.” She glanced aside at Ulfric Stormcloack.

“Ooh, nice!” He rolled his eyes, before the legionnaires promptly gagged him.

[unromancable-favs]

General tulius' special reactions to the amulet of mara

As imagined by me.

Grumpy old bastard /aff

Before joining the legion

*no reaction*

>Are you intrested in me?

"?? Im intrested in you joining the legion"

After joining the legion

*No reaction*

>Are you interested in me?

*if youve asked before* "Why do you keep asking me that, *current legion rank*?"

*If you havnt asked before* "thats... not an appropriate question for your superior."

After winning the war

>Are you interested in me?

*If you havnt asked before* "Ha. Well, i certainly find you interesting, Legate."

>Im intrested in you.

"Oh- I *ahem* I see. Well im.. certainly flattered, but im afraid I'll have to decline. No hard feelings"

>Are you interested in me

*If you asked before* "You sure are a persistent one, arent you? Why are you asking anyway?"

>Im wearing Maras amulet...

"Yes, that you are. Should that mean somthing to me?"

>Nevermind. *ends conversation*

>Its a custom in skyrim that initiates marriage.

"Marriage? You've... been wanting to marry me this whole time? Legate, I... Well im sorry I didnt realize sooner. So thats... Us, then? Youd like to be wed?"

>I would.

"Well, i suppose thats that then. I, ah... Thank you. For your persistence. I look forward to our life together."

>No.

"*Confused and vaugly amused laughter* Then why did you keep asking?"

If you come back after rejecting him.

"Still wearing that amulet of mara, huh?"

>Interested?

"Changed your mind, then? Ill admit, my own feelings have not changed. Have yours?"

>Yes *same dialog as first scenario*

>No.

"Right."

If you abandon the wedding

"I will never understand it here."

[arlathen]

video description: oldolemar directs a production of the lusty argonian maid starring general tulius and ulfric stormcloak.

[medacarpyl]

Did I ever tell you guys I yassified General Tulius on accident. I installed hair replacers and NPC beautifiers for Skyrim and I ran into Tulius and he had a surfer boy haircut. I'm installing skimpy male default replacement armor mods as I type this, let's see how much I can yassify this man

[what-even-is-thiss]

Serana is also quite literally a unique follower. She’s got unique lines of dialogue and unique behaviors. When not in combat she looks at stuff, sits down, uses tools, and leans on things. Stuff that regular followers don’t generally do. She can also refuse sometimes if you ask her to carry things or wait somewhere. When I was doing the civil war quest line talking to general tulius she leaned over the big desk at the same time he did, giving off the impression that she was mocking him. She also makes commentary about how different cities look the first time you bring her there. She thinks that Riften looks sad and Whiterun looks unusually open and spread out for example.

She’s still kind of stupid, as every other Skyrim ai is. She often runs into traps repeatedly for example. But for a Bethesda companion? She almost seems like her own person with her own life who just likes tagging along with you.

Usually I don’t like taking followers in Bethesda games because they are often more annoying than helpful and ruin the vibe when I wanna turn the volume on and listen to a cutscene.

Serana from the Dawnguard quest in Skyrim though? She’s got an actual personality and actually feels like a friend that’s adventuring with you rather than a walking distraction. So when I finished the dawnguard quest line I was like you know what? You were stuck in a cave for a thousand years. You need some more adventure. You’re coming with me to fight Alduin, bud. Strap up your vampire boots, we’re gonna go save the world. No other follower in any of these games ever made me feel like that.

Except for maybe the adoring fan in oblivion but he’s everyone’s favorite.

[dovakhiindrabbles]

Tulius’s commanders after Rosalie Sr and Tulius become best friends after tormenting everyone for months with their fights

[mavenblack-briar]

Hot Take :)

[foulserpent]

if i was to do a fully in-character playthru of skyrim as solvej i couldnt do like half of the questlines bc she would be completely disinterested. llike shes focused on becoming a sorcerer warlord living god why the hell would she give a shit about your assassin cult/sewer club/mead hall

[judarud]

The Stormcloak racism is overblown. In TES everyone is racist, General Tulius is more openly racist than the Stormcloaks are ever shown to be.

People just took one slogan "Skyrim is for the Nords" and treated it as the only defining feature of the rebels.

I'll actually kill Bethesda. you mean that they not only acknowledge but explain the drastic discrepancy in the Nord religion as portrayed in Skyrim vs previous TES games, and it's the result of intentional, systemic imperial colonialism and religious/cultural erasure? you're telling me that for two centuries, the imperials actively worked to root out the traditional Nord religion and replace it with their own deified emperor to justify their imperialism and no one told me? you're telling me they intentionally conflated Tiber Septim, a Breton, with a Nord hero so that he'd be local enough for the Nords? you're telling me the Empire waged a cultural genocide on Skyrim only for it to backfire so spectacularly the Nords become out-and-out Talos fanatics willing to wage a civil war against the Empire for finally rescinding the whole Talos thing? and no one told me??? you're telling me they just casually hid this info with one (1) npc who has no quest importance and lives on the very edge of the map??? and no one told me????????

good lord that makes the whole 'imperial dragonborn vs nord dragonborn' that much worse.

[jorgaskr]

The smell of glory (part 1)

You wake in a dark and cold environment. Your back and neck aching. After scanning the room with your eyes and focusing your ears, you realize you’re in a basement. Your hands chained in iron cuffs to the big stone wall. And your feet bound by matching iron cuffs. You attempt to sit up, but you realize your head too is held in place in an iron bond, against a wooden plank on the floor.  You panic sets in, as you hear the sound of a heavy wooden door open, and see a faint light from the corner of the room. Heavy feet begin to tread down the stairs, as you attempt to wiggle in your chains. As the heavy door slams shut, and the light fades, the sound of mortal commotion of voices and laughter fades. You’re in the basement of a tavern and inn

The footsteps approach, as you finally make eye contact, and your heart drops. A tall blonde Nord stands above you, adorned in leather armor, with the stormcloack bear symbol etched into the heavy armor. 

He smirks followed by a laugh. “Good afternoon imperial. Welcome to the newly liberated Skyrim. You’ve been out for almost two days. Ulfric stormcloak has been crowned, and now sits upon the throne of a new Skyrim. Isn’t this glorious”? He scoffs. 

You attempt to speak, and curse at the almost 7ft nord. But then you realize, your mouth is gagged shut with tightly packed cloth. “Yes that’s what I thought. Along with our newly crowned King, we as well have had some new laws passed. Most of the surviving imperial dogs, will face court, according to their treason. Executions, imprisonments, deportations, and much is to come. However, after the fall of Solitude, and the execution of general Tulius, His Grace King Stormcloack has decided to allow some of us higher officials to….keep, the generals and higher ranks of your collapsing imperial army. So, I am glad to let you know, that from this day on”, *He lifts an iron contraption, that seems to be shaped like a penis* •oh gods, what could that be?• you think to yourself….he continues, “you will henceforth be known as Ash. For you no greater than the ash of the burnt imperial strongholds. You are now officially my property, on legal paper. And I am going to make sure that you spend the rest of your days, working to build back the true Skyrim. But before the construction projects begin, and in between your work, you will serve another purpose, imperial swine. Do you remember when general tulius said in his speech of war declaration, that we stormcloaks are worth that of a Cow’s ass? And that we smell of such? Well, you’re going to be remembering those words of your now executed general, for the rest of your life, scum”.

With that statement, he swiftly walks to the corner of the room, in which you can’t turn your head to see, and walks towards you with what seems to look like a wooden stool, with a hole in the middle. He then lowers it onto your face, and locks it into place with the wooden plank below your head. By the gods, you begin to notice where this is going. 

He then at the speed of light with no hesitation, removes his lower hide armor, and steps over you, his massive muscular back, and large muscular ass, looking over you. “Here’s to your new life, ash. If you behave, maybe you’ll be allowed some dignity…..if you prove to me you’ve learned the true place of an imperial in this world”. 

He then begins to squat, as you watch the massive and VERY HAIRY Nord’s ass consuming the opening in the chair in which you’re encased, and eventually blocking out most of the light. As you fight and struggle, and attempt to hold back tears, you feel the hairs of the ass cheeks tickle your nose, as your nose’s frame is glided into place between the massive hairy cheeks. You try to hold your breath for as long as you can, but eventually you break. The smell of weeks worth of ubathed sweat, fills your lungs. The air is hot, and smells of a ripe man.  Your hear him laughing faintly as he shifts, and let’s out a long, loud, and warm fart right up into your nose. Your lungs are filled  completely with the Nord’s ripe farts and ass sweat. As you squirm and attempt to scream. “Welcome to Skyrim imperial dog. This is your life’s purpose from now on. I want to hear you sniffing deep, and maybe I’ll let you out. I’ve got some book records to read. But because you are shaking so, you’ve just added 3 hours for yourself. Get to sniffing imperial slave. You have no other choice”

Will you ever be freed? Will you ever escape this hairy sweaty Nordic hell? 

Maybe so…..