#Gender therapist online free

[st-dionysus]

(The Poem is named) Emetophobia CW

It’s 2024 and I’m in a 20 year old drag bar, watching the very first trans-masculine performer to compete on their stage, he gets second place even though he deserved first.

I show up to the men’s bathhouse on trans night to get free entry and get turned away at the door, and told it’s for transgirls only, bitch you could have put it on the flyer that transmen need not apply.

I’m doing a line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I get banned from the camsite for listing myself as transgender when I don’t have a dick, I complain online and get told that the trans-masculine body is to grotesque to be fetishized and I should be grateful.

I wear a packer and hitch up a skirt, walk the street, get $20, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Cissie puts a TW #body-mutilation tag under my thirst trap. Tranny puts a TW #dysphoria tag under my thirst trap.

T-girl with a callout post pedojackets me, Enby with TME in bio pedojackets me, T-boy with a self-deprecating joke about men in his bio pedojackets me.

I do another line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic wearing a mask – not cause I’m compromised (I am), just to hide my beard – avoiding making everyone uncomfortable.

I am getting re-diagnosed with BPD, which just means I have bitch disorder and no one trusts me.

I take my pills and throw them up. I drink my liquor before the beer and throw them up.

I am just 14 when the picture and videos go up. Remind me that I have it easy, they were only pictures and videos.

I am just 17 when the recording of my proof stops before it happens, my phone memory is full, I’m called a liar and now I can’t see buttered crackers, thanksgiving, or sriracha sauce without wanting to kill myself.

No one gets me therapy, but they still want to convert me, she puts her hands down my pants, at least I’m 19, to remind me I’m a woman – tell me how they love trans men again.

I do a third line of ketamine off the table, realize it doesn’t effect me, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I call myself a dog, I start biting my lovers and I have to hold back from ripping out a chunk of flesh, I don’t think I’d throw it up.

I am reading the statistics, 40% of BPD patients try and kill themselves. 1 in 2 transgender men try and kill themselves. I’m one of them. I’m 12 and I swallowed all the pills. I’m 14 and the gun is empty. I’m 17 and I put the box-opener against my throat. Therapist calls me a liar, there is no scar, and my words don’t count for anything.

I’m using he/him pronouns for Stormé DeLarverie, like the stonewall veteran association said to, and telling you he started the riot, calling it stealing transfem valor from a woman who told you she didn’t fucking do it.

I’m shoving my fingers down my throat in a fit of mania, convinced I can vomit up my uterus. She tells me I should be grateful, she’d do anything to be able to get pregnant.

My brother in the struggle gets bottom surgery without top, calling it stealing transfem valor to feel comfortable in his body.

It’s 2024 and I’m at trans pride, the announcers tells everyone to give a round of applause for trans woman, a round of applause for gender-queers, a round of applause for transfems, a round of applause for the enbies, a round of applause for trans-masculine people. You forgot someone. Did you know a trans man started the first ever transgender pride parade?

A book on queer history talks about gay men and lesbians and trans women and the women who dressed as men for better job opportunities. I’m reminded that my invisibility is a privilege, if you aren’t seen you don’t get bashed.

I’m 13 and they throw me in the girls bathroom, pin me down, beat me, and in black sharpie write “dyke”, write “tranny”, write “lesbo”, and pull my hair out the cap I shoved it in.

I’m 19 with D cups that a binder can’t hide and a beard I refuse to shave less I break the mirror and kill myself with the shards of glass I would swallow.

Man at the bus stop calls me tranny and tells me I’ll never be a woman. I’d laugh if he didn’t have his hand on my throat. Calling it stealing transfem valor.

I’m 21 and have to pull a taser on him, cause from the back, even with short hair and top surgery, I look rape-able.

I’m 23 and in the gay district when they chase me down the street, calling me faggot.

Make another forcemasc post, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Read an article about a trans man prostitute that kills himself and ends up another female statistic.

Read an article about a trans man shooter, they blame the HRT he didn’t have access too.

Going to read a callout about me, five pages on Google Docs, does this post make it on the list?

Do a final line of ketamine, write the final line of a poem that makes me want to die, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I puke and miss the toilet.

[authormars]

I'm so sorry to ask, but what do you think about Luci x extremely Paranoid, depressed, and some kind of "polite but very sarcastic" mc?

And no offense really, i...just...I've been dealing with paranoia and depression for many years, and I really just need a bit comfort. If you don't want to do it, just ignore, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or think I'm some kind of cringe weirdo.

Dude, that MC is basically just me. But of course! I'll take any request, don't worry, you're not a bother

As always, with any of my x MC content, MC is gender neutral!

Lucifer read your file, so he already knew about the depression. He and Diavolo had already agreed upon some accomodations for it. You wouldn't be penalized for missing RAD and all of your work would be online, if you wanted to skip the day or the whole week. They had a therapist on hand, both human and demon, if you wanted someone to talk to, and you were free to ask Satan or Lucifer for help if you were behind on work because you missed an important lecture.

Lucifer kept his distance from you mostly. He was busy man and, outside of your penchant for pacts, really only interacted with you if you came to him or if he needed a report for Diavolo.

That was, until he heard you hadn't come out of your room in days. He had researched depression before signing off on your file for the exchange program, but even this was out of the ordinary. No matter who texted you or knocked on your door, you didn't answer. Eventually, he had to take matters into his own hands.

To say it was terrifying when he busted down your door in demon form is an understatement. You had already been feeling absolutely awful and had barely left your bed outside of grabbing the occasional snack to not die. Thankfully, none of the more high energy (Mammon) brothers were with him.

"MC. Why haven't you been answering your DDD?" Lucifer seemed annoyed to even have to come here, making you feel even worse. You were a burden to him. "I know about your depression, but you must complete at least a little work or at least answer our texts." And now he was scolding you.

"So Pridey McPrideface doesn't ever miss texts on his phone? Or not want to do work?" You snapped at him. You were annoyed and the response slipped out. You immediately regretted it, at the angry expression Lucifer gave you. After a moment, the look softened.

"MC. I understand you don't want to complete your work, but perhaps I can be of service. If you do not understand the material or simply need someone to be with you as you complete it, the door to my office is always open." He seemed to have realized his presence was making you uncomfortable so he retreated to the doorway.

"Just please answer your texts. I haven't heard the end of it from Mammon and you can only string him up for so long before it isn't a real punishment anymore."

After your interaction with him, you slowly became more comfortable with him. He stopped being the scary demon who could and probably would kill you, given the chance, and became something of a friend.

He didn't yell at you when you joined him in his study or office. He didn't get mad when you were failing your classes because you couldn't find the motivation for work. He simply offered to tutor you when he could and he didn't bat an eye when you snapped with a sarcastic comment when you got annoyed.

Lucifer started walking you to class when you felt up to go to RAD. As the walks became more frequent, he started noticing all your fidgets. How you would glance at any demon passing by, as if you were scared one might jump out at you and try and hurt you. He noticed how you would narrow your eyes when he made a statement, as if you didn't trust what he was saying.

Eventually, he worked up the courage to ask you about it. He didn't want to pry, but he wanted to make life in Devildom as good as it could be for you. Your answer was not what he expected.

"Paranoia?"

"Yeah. I mean, I feel like everyone is always watching me. Talking about me. Trying to hurt me. Always plotting against me. Even you. I know it's irrational, but I can't stop it. I'm always on the defensive. No one can be trusted"

"Is there... any way I can help? I want to make your experience as good as it can be here, MC."

"I... I don't know"

"Well, if you think of anything, tell me. I will help in any way I can. I promise you, you can trust me."

Over time, Lucifer slowly learned your triggers. He learned not to assume you knew what he meant or that you trusted him. He made sure never to lie to you. No matter what, he wanted to be someone you can trust.

Wow this was long. Sorry if I strayed off topic or didn't do the request correctly!

If you have any requests for x MC content or Character x Character stuff, feel free to send me an ask. I will write basically anything!

[stemwriter]

Pursuit of Knowledge - Chapter 1

Finally, the first chapter! Criticism is absolutely welcome here, and I hope you enjoy!

This has a gender neutral reader, and is just the regular sentience au; no cult/creator/imposter stuff. Only main difference, [Y/N] is a lore fanatic.

Word count: ~3.3k

So there you were, sitting in your bedroom waiting for Genshin Impact to download. You had heard that it was a huge game, but for some reason your screen only said that there were only around 10 gigabytes of data. ‘I guess 10 gigabytes is pretty big for a mobile game,’ you thought, as the progress bar slowly made its way to 100%.

The stone doors opened, your screen went white, and the opening cutscene you’ve seen a million times before in all those video essays began to play.

Outlanders, your journey ends here.

You’d thought about which sibling you would pick before. You loved seeing Lumine as the villain, and so without hesitation, picked the boy, named Aether.

You’d seen some gameplay before, and you already thought the graphics were good, but this… This was astounding. It was better than what you’d seen before online. Your character didn’t look exactly realistic so to speak, but everything looked extremely high quality. How was this game free? You guessed the difference between this and what you remember was because you were playing on PS5, and began to move on through the story.

After getting the power of Anemo and seeing the Anemo God himself, you met Amber. You spammed through the dialogue, just wanting to get to Mondstadt.

“Ah! A hilichurl!”

“Quick, get it!”

She said “Get it!” like that hilichurl was no more than a bug in someone’s house, about to be killed for no reason other than being there. That… worried you, considering what hilichurls once were. You knew you had to kill this camp of hilichurls to progress the story, but you told yourself that starting now, you wouldn’t be killing any hilichurls unless you were forced to by the plot or you really needed resources.

After a mildly annoying amount of walking, you entered the city and ran to the Cathedral plaza to get your Wind Glider. Amber gave it to you, and you glided across the city, which seemed different, somehow, although you couldn’t tell what was wrong. You were then promptly thrown into the sky, shooting wind projectiles at a dragon. 

“I’m preventing your fall with the power of a thousand winds!”

“HOLY CRAP! It’s God!”

“Concentrate on this! See yourself grasping the wind. Harness its energy.”

You listened to Venti instruct you on this gamemode you didn’t think you’d ever use again, making ‘pew pew pew!’ sounds as Dvalin’s HP bar slowly decreased.

It was the moment you’ve been waiting for. The Traveler lands, and the camera cuts to that blue-haired eyepatch man, one of your favorite characters, Kaeya. You waited until he finished his dramatic introduction, and yelled “WOOOOOOOO!!!!” at the top of your lungs. You thought about playing an audience cheering sound effect, but realized it’s too late now and you don’t even have your soundboard open. You should get that ready in a minute. You’ve already heard this before, so you skip through the dialogue. Well, at least Amber’s lines. You let Kaeya finish everything he has to say. 

‘From afar? Is that all we know of them?’

“Surprisingly, yes.” You said, thinking about how you know so much about everyone in Teyvat yet know close to nothing about the main character. You knew they were older than 500, and they had a sibling, but just who were they? You focused back on the game, sighing after hearing Kaeya say he understands being separated from family, feeling your heart growing heavy as you remember his backstory. “You need someone to talk to, man, I’m all ears.” If there was one thing you really knew about his personality, it was that he needed a therapist.

You entered the HQ and listened to the group devise a plan. You still didn’t know why you were only taking care of 3 temples, but you would eventually figure that out, right? Right? You pulled on Noelle’s banner 10 times, only getting her, a sword called… Flute? and some 3 star weapons that you figured wouldn’t help you for long. You equipped The Flute on the Traveler, tested it out a bit, and set off to the three temples.

 By the time you were done with Amber’s, you decided that you were absolutely not going to follow any instructions the system gave you. No one can tell you what you can do!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaeya was… perplexed, to say the least, when he prepared to walk up to Amber and a traveler she was with. For a split second, he could have sworn he saw everything turn gray, and strange, colorful, circles appeared around everyone’s joints. Already, he wondered if he was hallucinating, but then he heard the sound of someone cheering that felt as if it was coming from the traveler, but he didn’t open his mouth. Amber didn’t seem to react to it, either. That meant either neither of them noticed it, or he was seeing and hearing things. Assuming it was the latter, he continued on, making a mental note to keep watch of it.

“Hold on Amber, are you perhaps forgetting to introduce us?”

“Oh… right. This i- Thes-”

‘From afar? Is that all we know of them?’

“Surprisingly, yes.”

That voice! Again, but this time, it directly replied to his thoughts. Was it not a hallucination? Just what in Teyvat was this? He had a strong feeling that it was connected to the Traveler, but how could it see what he was thinking  just then? He needed to investigate this, that’s for sure.

“Long st-”

“I see. Welcome to Mondstadt - though you haven’t arrived at the best of times, I’m afraid.”

The Traveler had been separated from his sister, and came to Mondstadt looking for help finding her. He knew how he felt. When Diluc left Mondstadt for all those years, he spent every day worried, wondering if he would ever return.

“I understand the anguish of being separated from family. I’m not sure why you’re looking for the Anemo God… but everyone has their secrets, right?”

“You need someone to talk to, man, I’m all ears.”

The voice was… comforting him now? Interesting.

Who was this traveler? He certainly wasn’t your average tourist. He’d taken him, his… companion, and Amber to the Knights of Favonius headquarters to see Master Jean, and while that conversation went somewhat normal, the atmosphere quickly became… unnerving as soon as it ended. The others stood still in the room, not saying a word. After a few moments, the Traveler left the room, and Kaeya could swear he saw him swinging a weapon in the main hall, but if he was, why didn’t any of the other Knights stop him? 

Waiting at the Temple of the Wolf, he thought about his experience earlier. He realized that Amber never finished a sentence, but somehow he understood everything she said. Amber never told him the Traveler’s story, yet he knew it. Did that have to do with that voice? That strange presence? It didn’t seem like it was intending anything bad by the way it spoke to him, but this whole situation was just so… strange. 

Kaeya walked around a bit and cleared the area of any potential threats, and after what felt like an hour, the Traveler finally arrived at the temple. He honestly was expecting him to take longer, considering he likely helped Amber first, but it was a surprise to not have to wait quite as long as he thought. How long did it take him to get there? He was a long way from the city of Mondstadt, yet he couldn’t even remember the journey to get here now. Could everything strange he’d experienced be caused by that presence? Hallucinations, memory issues; just what was going on?

“You’ve arrived,” he said, slightly hoping that voice didn’t respond and that it really was all in his head. “Come closer. Do you smell that?”

Unfortunately, it was not, in fact, all in his head.

“How in the world do you burn a Pyro Slime?”

‘It’s the smell of burnt Pyro Slimes.”

How did it know what the Traveler was going to say before he said it? Could it be… influencing him in some way? He continued on, wanting to get these temples taken care of so he could have time to investigate this, whatever this is. He watched as the Traveler walked up to the doors of the domain, and… teleported through them? ‘This day just keeps getting weirder…’ he thought, before entering the domain himself.

“Let me show you how the Knights of Favonius conquer our adversaries,” he said. Although he was about to fight, his body relaxed, and a chill went down his spine. He tried to snap himself out of it, but he found he couldn’t move. The hell…? After a couple of seconds, his body sprinted forward, as that voice said “Alright, here we go,” with a sigh. It was behind this, too? What was this? His heart pounded. He was powerless. It could do whatever it wanted with him, and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. No one would know other than those affected… Why did he not mention this to anyone before? He tried to fight against it, but he still couldn’t move a muscle.

 It felt as if he wasn’t fully in his body, as if he was only watching as his body was being puppeteered by some unknown entity. What did it want with him? The Traveler really was being influenced by them, wasn’t he? Was he too, being possessed by it? It seemed the entity could only use one body at a time, but while it was using one, the other completely disappeared. 

Forget waiting until this Stormterror crisis was over, he needed to do something as soon as possible, before anyone else was affected by it! It couldn’t keep its hold over him for too long, right? He needed to get back to Mondstadt as soon as possible, to at least tell someone before it takes control of him again. He didn’t want to leave the Traveler like this, but he would have to if he was to do anything about it.

He calmed down a bit, as it didn’t instantly try to harm him, but he started to get concerned for his safety again when the entity made him jump over a pit of spikes in water. The water could very easily be frozen and walked on, avoiding the spikes entirely, and yet it made him jump over the pit. Nothing bad happened, though. Was it that confident in its, and to an extent, his, abilities? Or was it planning something more… violent? After the crystal was destroyed at the end of the temple, he felt like he was back in his body again, the entity no longer having control over him. Still, he didn’t want it to know he was trying to get away, so he started to speak as if nothing out of the expected happened. But why was it laughing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You knew of a little trick you could do in this next cutscene, the one where Diluc comes out of nowhere and obliterates an Abyss Mage. You chuckle to yourself as you pull up a video.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind OST - Giorno's Theme『il vento d'oro』

03:45 ━━━━━━━⬤──── 05:27

As the Abyss Mage comes out from the shadows, you hit Play on the video and watch as Diluc charges in, the song syncing to his movements. You could swear you saw a confused look on his face, but you assumed you were either seeing things, or that you just misremembered the cutscene. You didn’t remember every single detail, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…Of course that didn’t work. As soon as he left the temple, he fell into the entity’s control once again. It didn’t help that he never saw Diluc leave the temple. If he did, he might have a chance at getting him to notice something’s wrong. It also appeared that he and the Traveler were not the only people it had decided to use as its puppets. At various times, he would be thrown out of his body completely and watch as it uses another. He noticed not only the Traveler, but Amber, Noelle, and for a short while, Lisa. 

It encountered a Ruin Guard at the Thousand Winds Temple. It used Amber to destroy the automaton’s core, stunning it, before using him to counter the Pyro element on it. It got back up again, but it wasn’t up for long before it was defeated, falling to the grou-

*lego breaking noise*

*metal pipe falling*

“*snickering* God, I love having a soundboard…”

What were those noises? Those didn’t come from the Ruin Guard, did they? Were they made by that “soundboard” thing? 

After that, there were an abundance of strange noises, almost always accompanied by the entity laughing. 

 He also realized that it wasn’t killing any monsters; in fact, it even knew some Hilichurlian. Whatever this entity was, it didn’t appear to be intending to harm anything. It wasn’t killing any monsters, and it was giving him equipment that felt like it made him stronger. Did it even know it was controlling him like this? If not, would it continue if it knew?

Regardless of if they knew or not, they continued on, at one point using him to cross the ocean to an island he had never seen mapped before. It took a fair bit of time, considering how far out it was. After a few minutes, what sounded to be a recording of someone’s voice began to play, likely by this entity to prevent boredom.

At the beginning, it brought up what he believed was happening to him now, and went on to say how it might work. How gaining a “character” means the Traveler can now connect to the essence of the person, harnessing their abilities, and how getting more “constellations” gives a deeper connection. He had heard of people having their own constellation, but he couldn’t make any sense of it in this context. While he was very concerned on how people knew any of this, it only further confirmed his theory that whoever this was using his body had not a clue on what they were really doing.

The recording ended up discussing very intriguing things. He was confused on why they were referring to people as “characters” at the beginning, but the whole time, they were referring to Teyvat and its past, present, and future as if it was nothing but a fictional story, constantly mentioning the “plot”, “chapters”, “roles”, and such. Is that what this was to them? The recording mainly focused on the “fate” of Teyvat, and how it could possibly be changed. It had been a topic he had been endlessly thinking about, and this left him with… mixed feelings. On one hand, the Traveler may be the key to changing fate, and it gave him hope that things might actually end well for him. But on the other hand, would he really have to rely on someone else to decide his fate?

They found many chests on the island, and discovered someone’s notebook, which said that something strange happens here in the very early morning hours. The entity seemed confused for a bit, appearing to be looking for something, before sounding disappointed. They did another lap around the island, making sure they collected everything, and then teleported back to near Windrise, still seeming a bit confused. 

They went north to the Stormbearer Mountains, and headed towards a watchtower, likely to get a better view of their surroundings. They weren’t about to get up there without a fight, though. Crossbow-armed hilichurls surrounded the place. Instead of taking them out then and there, they tried to just walk by, finding a good time to climb. He could tell they weren’t prepared for this, that they were overwhelmed. They shrieked as a Pyro hilichurl shot at him, trying to run away from the projectile.

This should be common sense, but one thing he knew about combat; when you dodge, don’t go running directly into the attack.

A flaming arrow hit him right in the jugular, and he was met with a world of searing pain. He didn’t know if it was this entity making him do it, but he let out a scream as it hit. The arrow had disappeared. He stood there, now choking, though his body did not react.  Would this be how he died? By an arrow shot from a hilichurl he could easily take care of if he could just- 

Time seemed to stop for a moment. Suddenly, everything was fine.

No pain, no wound, and he had the taste of chicken in his mouth.

They healed him from what was very easily a fatal wound just like that? That was why they were being so reckless, wasn’t it? 

It had seemed like whatever was in control of him had no clue what they were doing, but how? How could they not know? Surely they must notice that something’s off, right?

At one point, they tried to climb up the Knights of Favonius building with Amber and fell, which caused her to disintegrate. He panicked, but soon after, she appeared again as if absolutely nothing had happened. Apparently, they had the power to revive people they were using, as well as heal fatal wounds. Sure, that was great that neither he nor anyone else this was happening to would have to fear dying, but that meant that if they wanted to, they could kill and revive someone under their control over and over again. It was a good thing they seemed to have no intentions of doing such a thing…

They were exploring for hours, during which time Kaeya’s thoughts mostly consisted of reactions to things they were saying or doing, with a little existential dread creeping in every now and then, wondering if he was ever going to gain back control. The sun went down, and soon after that, they said “Alright Teyvat, I’ll be back to conquer you tomorrow! I’m gonna go pass out!” That was a bit… direct, and he wasn’t entirely sure if they were joking by the “conquer” bit due to the events of the last couple of hours, but regardless, it was over. He nearly fell over after they left, not expecting to suddenly gain back control of his body again. Now, the question is, how does he go about solving this? Before he thought about that, he decided he needed a drink since he had some time to spare, and so he headed to Angel’s Share.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After finishing Lisa’s temple, you were free to explore Teyvat. You spent some time exploring Mondstadt, collecting Anemoculi, before going back to where you started. You knew of that unmapped island, and now that you had the power to ice bridge, you were going to go there. You knew it would take a while, so you put on another video essay explaining a Genshin theory to listen to, and began the journey. 

Unfortunately, you couldn’t do everything. You were able to get a bunch of chests, but the quest there needed the time of day to be between 2 and 5 AM to progress. You remembered there being a time skip button, but you looked everywhere and just couldn’t find it. So, you had to go back to the mainland, defeated. Come to think of it, how long was the day/night cycle? It’s been over an hour and the sun’s barely moved. Was the in game time synced to real time? If so, why the hell would they make a quest that can only progress in the middle of the night? You figured that you’re just missing something, and started thinking about something else before you got too stressed out. 

You played for a couple of hours, getting used to the combat system. It was fun, but you felt like the enemies did a bit too much damage. Seriously, one arrow from a low-level hilichurl shouldn’t almost one-shot your character! You felt pretty tired, and not wanting to struggle to keep your eyes open, you decided to log out, and continue your Magical Adventure™ tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------------------

And pass out you did, falling asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow. You ended up sleeping for a while, so by the time you got up, it was already pretty late in the morning. You had some errands to run, so you showered, got ready, and took care of them. 

You had nothing else to do today, so you decided to open Genshin again and continue your adventure. The world loads in, and there you are, with your team of Aether, Amber, Noelle and- hold on where’s Kaeya? Maybe you removed him for some reason. You were pretty tired. You go to the party select screen, and select hi- 

*This character is busy.*

What the hell does that mean?

[catboybiologist]

What gender therapists online can you recommend? Of course it's preferable if they were for free, but I don't think that's a thing with therapy.

I live in russia, so idk about inclusivity of local therapists and privacy of their sessions

I am so sorry, I don't have any experience with online gender therapists. And I'm also so sorry if some of my advice doesn't apply because you're in Russia. Many therapists can't practice internationally. Stay safe please <3

If there's better advice that can be given, maybe someone can help out in the notes?

[woman-for-women]

hii! i was wondering if there was anywhere I could message you privately? i’m a 14 year old girl who socially IDed as FtM for 5 years but now want to detransition and I don’t know where to go or where to start. xx

Hi! Firstly, you can message me, but if that's something that makes you uncomfortable, I can try to point you to resources right here! Feel free to send other asks :)

Talk to a trusted adult in your life. It could be a parent, an aunt/uncle, a teacher, or an older sibling. The adults in your life probably want the best for your health and happiness. It's great if you reach out to me, but at the end of the day, the adults in your life know you the best and would probably want you to talk to them first before a stranger on the internet. I'm guessing your parents will probably be open to hearing what you have to say.

Contact your doctor or a local gender clinic and ask if they can point you towards detransitioning resources.

Search online and see if there are any detransition support groups near you (unlikely this will pan out, but it's worth a try). If you happen to know anyone who has detransitioned, you can also reach out to them.

If you are able to, please look into counseling. If you are dysphoric, you can ask for a counselor that will help you explore your discomfort with your body/gender roles and reconcile your relationship with your body. I’d avoid any therapists who advertise themselves as LGBTQIA2S+ friendly: they may be well meaning, but their primary method of treatment for dysphoria will likely be transition. Therapists and other mental health professionals tend to have bios where they list their background and what they specialize in: I'd suggest looking for a therapist who is female, and possibly someone who is comfortable gender non-conforming (someone who doesn't see being unhappy with gender roles or gender non-conforming as being the same as being trans). I went to a counselor who was an older lesbian. You can also send an email to Gender Exploratory Therapy Association (GETA) to see if they can match you with a therapist.

You can journal how you feel. It doesn't need to be fancy (it can be a notes page on your phone or some binder paper, but if journaling with markers and stickers and washi tape helps, you can do that too). Ask yourself what made you feel like you weren't or couldn't be a woman/girl? What does the thought of detransitioning make you feel? It can just be how you feel in general. If you're comfortable, you can also share your journal with a trusted adult or counselor. Or, it can just be for your eyes only.

Work on improving your integrity and comfort with your body. It helps you feel wonderful feelings, taste your favorite foods, see beautiful things... your body is not trying to hurt you or work against you. For example, your body is not menstruating because it is "punishing" you for not being pregnant (this is something I heard a lot growing up). Menstruation is just something female bodies do. It's vital to regulating your hormonal health, bone density, and weight. While yes, you can get pregnant and be a parent if you choose to as an adult, your body is not telling you to do anything. Your bodily functions are not a mandate. You exist for you!

Try to avoid seeing your body as a problem, or as fractured parts you want to fix: your body is just your body. Don't think of your body as a decorative object you need to change to please anyone. Your body exists for you and (most importantly) your body is you. Treating your body well is part of treating yourself well.

To improve your relationship with your body, I would recommend picking a sport or physical activity. Do something you like that makes you comfortable! If wearing a swimsuit fills you with dread, wear a more modest one or don't pick swimming. It can be as simple as walking, stretching, or yoga in your room. The point of a physical activity is not just to keep in shape, but to feel how your body is capable of doing whatever you want it to. Your body doesn't have to look a certain way for that.

Your image of your body and your comfort with being female might also improve if you take a social media break. I know it can be hard, but try to commit to a short break (a week, a month). Use this time to read, listen to music, draw, relax, exercise... whatever will keep you happy and healthy. Social media is saturated with images of sexualized, objectified, and impossibly thin women. It can be stressful to feel like you don't "measure up" to what the Internet tells you a woman is supposed to be. Take this time to remind yourself that you don't need to imitate these people to be happy.

I would also recommend you unfollow any social media accounts that make you feel bad about your body or talk about transitioning and gender all the time (you can always refollow later). Focus on how you feel about your body and yourself, not what other people promote.

What or how you decide to change socially, who you tell, or how you say it is up to you. You don't need to disclose why you're detransitioning either. You can just tell people you've decided it wasn't for you or that you'd like to go by your old name/pronouns. Don't let anyone, especially other transitioned peers, pressure you into doing or revealing anything you don't want to. If you have a friend group of trans peers your age, don't let them make you feel bad! You have the right to do what's best for you. If you have friends that aren't supportive of you doing what's best for you, it might be best to look for a new friend group.

If you've been happiest dressing in "boy" clothes or doing certain "boy" activities, none of that has to change when you detransition! Detransitioning should be about accepting that your natal biological sex is female. Being female is a neutral fact, like being brunette or being 167 cm. Being female has no bearing on what you can do, who you can love, what professions, hobbies, or interests you have... that's all gender. You don't have to change how you dress, think, feel, act, talk, etc. None of these things can disqualify you from being a woman or girl. Just be yourself and know there's no wrong way to be female.

Being a woman or girl can be scary. Menstruation sucks, sexual harassment sucks, sexism sucks. But there's light at the end of the tunnel, and that's other women and girls! Reach out to them. They are your lifeline. Build friendships. There are other women and girls just like you. You are never alone.

On that note, having positive female role models and consuming books/TV shows/movies/music by and about women can help you feel better about detransitioning and reconciling with being female.

Don't discount the wisdom of older women! They're not nags, shrews, or "Karens". They're female, too. Many of them have likely felt what you feel.

Detransitioning doesn't mean you need to feel a certain type of way on gender or trans issues. Don't let radical feminists, conservatives, or trans-rights activists bully you into saying or doing what suits their narrative. It's your life, so do what's right for you!

Lastly, here are some resources I would recommend, both about transition and detransition:

A Booklet on Gender Detransition

The risks of binding

Testosterone use and pelvic health

Maybe this is silly, but this comic helped me feel a lot better when I first saw it.

Cosmic Uterus by Ida Neverdahl

Edit: I added some things to the list. Before I forget — the prevailing narrative told to dysphoric and trans-identifying teens is that you need to transition, you need to go on hormones, you need to do xyz or you will die. This is not true. Most dysphoric youth who do not medically transition end up as happy, alive adults. (If you are having suicidal thoughts, please tell a trusted adult or call a hotline). So I’m going to tell you instead what I was told, and what other lesbian, gay, and bisexual kids were told growing up: it gets better. I promise it does. You are so brave. You are going to be okay <3

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Colin Wright

Published: Feb 6, 2024

This morning, The Free Press published a testimony from yet another gender medicine whistleblower, Tamara Pietzke, who described the medical malpractice she witnessed firsthand at a MultiCare hospital in Washington state. Although observing the harsh realities and ethical concerns posed by gender ideology for the past five years has somewhat callused my emotions on this issue, reading Pietzke’s personal account was utterly shocking.

Pietzke shares stories of three patients that led her to question the ethics of “gender-affirming care” for minors expressing distress over their “gender.”

The first case involved a 13-year-old girl with a profoundly troubling history, described by Pietzke as “one of the most extreme and heartbreaking life stories I’ve ever heard.” The girl suffered from a history of severe abuse by her mother, multiple sexual assaults, and was diagnosed with “depression, PTSD, anxiety, intermittent explosive disorder, and autism.” During their initial meeting, the girl showed Pietzke “extremely sadistic and graphic pornographic videos on her phone.” She also explained her tendency to mentally “age regress” to that of a little girl and watch Teletubbies while “sucking on pacifiers.” She had also been expelled from school for threatening to blow it up. Despite all this, the girl’s guardian sought a recommendation letter from Pietzke for the girl to start testosterone treatment.

After expressing her serious concerns about the advisability of medically transitioning this mentally distressed girl, Pietzke’s program manager insisted that her traumatic history should not prevent her from beginning her hormonal transition. Subsequently, the girl was quickly transferred from Pietzke’s care to a new “gender-affirming” therapist.

Another case involved a troubled 16-year-old girl, recently identifying with “they/he” pronouns and seeking testosterone. Three years later, she claimed to have a “xenogender,” identifying as a “wounded male dog.” Pietzke’s colleagues suggested this wasn’t anything to be concerned about.

The last patient, a female who transitioned at 17, sought relief for her Tourette syndrome, depression, anxiety, and gender dysphoria. Despite now having facial hair and a permanently deepened voice, her mental health issues remain.

It is obvious to most of us what an abhorrent medical scandal all of this is. These children have severe mental issues likely resulting from extreme childhood traumas, yet because they have uttered the word “gender,” all of their problems are suddenly attributed to a singular cause—gender dysphoria. And the only proposed solution is to permanently alter their healthy bodies with hormones and surgeries.

While all of this is unequivocally insane, Pietzke recounts a moment that both resonated with and enraged me. After encountering “gender-affirming care” in practice, she grew concerned. Being the diligent healthcare worker that she is, Pietzke sought to expand her knowledge on the subject by researching gender-affirming care online. Like any honest truth-seeker on this topic, she was “horrified” by what she discovered.

She learned that puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones are not FDA-approved for treating gender dysphoria and learned about their numerous side effects. She learned about the absence of good evidence supporting the psychological benefits of hormone treatments. She learned of the link between gender dysphoria and factors such as autism, mental health issues, trauma, and abuse. She learned that gender dysphoria is influenced by social contagion. She also learned about European countries that have either banned or imposed restrictions on medical transitions for minors after conducting systematic reviews of the evidence.

Confronted with these startling findings, Pietzke decided to raise a question during a mandatory online training session on gender-affirming care.

When the leader of the training brought up hormone treatments, I shakily tapped the unmute button on Zoom and asked why 70 to 80 percent of female adolescents diagnosed with gender dysphoria have prior mental health diagnoses. She flashed a look of disgust as she warned me against spreading “misinformation on trans kids.” Soon the chat box started blowing up with comments directed at me. One colleague stated it was not “appropriate to bring politics into this” and another wrote that I was “demonstrating a hostility toward trans folks which is [a] direct violation of the Hippocratic Oath,” and recommended I “seek additional support and information so as not to harm trans clients.” As soon as I closed my laptop, I burst into tears. I care so deeply about my clients that even thinking about this now makes me cry. I couldn’t understand how my colleagues, who are supposed to be my teammates, could be so quick to villainize me. I also wondered if maybe my colleagues were right, and if I had gone insane. [my emphasis]

This resonated deeply with me because it mirrored the treatment I received from most of my former friends, colleagues, and acquaintances when I began to ask very calm and clear questions about the “sex spectrum” and other concepts related to gender ideology that made no sense to me. Before I ever wrote publicly on this topic, I privately tormented over it for nearly two years, very seriously questioning whether I had lost my mind.

I’ve known people who had episodes where they’d burst into fits of rage and shout venomous insults at friends and family. But the next day, when confronted about those outbursts, appear confused and deny any recollection of their actions. Was I now that person? Was I having similar psychotic outbursts followed by amnesia? I asked myself these questions earnestly, because only something like that seemed to have the power to explain the negative treatment I was suddenly receiving from those around me. I couldn’t rule out my own insanity, and Occam’s Razor seemed to suggest that it was much more likely that I was the sole crazy one instead of everyone else.

It took considerable time for me to convince myself I was totally sane, but I thankfully got there.

The most profoundly sinister aspect of this cult ideology, aside from the practice of “gender-affirming care” itself, is its ability to drive even the most rational and principled among us to the mental brink of questioning our own sanity. It will require more whistleblowers like Tamara Pietzke and Jamie Reed to jolt people’s consciences awake, but fortunately, once someone confronts the reality of gender ideology honestly, they cannot turn away.

That’s because we’re the sane ones.

[vergess]

Another nsft ask now that I think about it (feel free to ignore or answer privately if you want):

Has the site always been this horny/sex positive?

idk if it's just the circles I'm in but it's so refreshing to see people just be this...openly horny you know? Really encouraged me to get more comfortable expressing that. Especially coming from a private puritanical/sex negative upbringing.

(also the willingness of people to ask for/ participate in horny DMs has been fun for me ngl lmao)

Actually, this is our medium setting.

In the heyday, before SESTA/FOSTA got passed in the US leading to sweeping porn bans across many platforms (and slow creeping porn bans across others, eg twitter)? Tumblr was MUCH more sex positive than even this.

Things started going dramatically down hill circa 2015.

It was so openly expected that people would treat sex as just another subject of discussion and art on tumblr, that it actually left us surprisingly vulnerable.

See, in the US especially, sex is regarded as absolutely evil. Something to be allowed only in the briefest moments of a marriage, solely for popping out kids.

So tumblr's extremely sex positive atmosphere meant it was often rather alarming to newcomers.

And when they expressed any discomfort, SWERFs (Sex Work Exclusionary Radical Feminists; TERFs but for sex instead of gender) would immediately pile onto them, love bombing them and reassuring them that their discomfort is Good, Actually, and all those nasty sexy queers are just trying to sexually abuse them, etc etc.

They would use a combination of extreme affection and isolation to separate these kids from their social groups and families, and force them to watch hours of porn with the specific intent of creating a traumatic trigger around sex, so these victims could be trusted to go out and start harassing the shit out of anyone who mentioned it.

They especially targeted children. The reason "minors do not interact" is such a common phrase is because of that. Same with "don't you know I'm neurodivergent and a minor."

These SWERFs would start huge discord servers and skype groups where they would collect any kid who saw a dick on tumblr and didn't like it, and basically brainwash them. I know how that sounds but it's NOT an exagerration. They literally formed an actual, honest to god cult.

That army of SWERF addled kids not only drove several people to suicide, but actually raped people, hospitalized artists, and caused irreparable damage. If you see someone complaining about "antiships" on here, that's the name of the cult movement in question. You may see people call themselves "ex-anti" in the same way they would "ex-catholic," and those people who got out of that cult can attest to how horrific it is.

Unfortunately, you'll also see them insist that they aren't a cult, or that anyone who calls them a cult (including parents, therapists, and doctors) is just Too Online and needs to Touch Grass instead of "fighting with a minor." Some of these people insistently call themselves minors despite being 25!!

Because of all that, when SESTA/FOSTA forced the porn ban in 2018, there was a massive portion of the user base who literally celebrated it. Even among regular users, it was heralded as an end to that sheer fucking violence.

Of course, the cult just started organizing on twitter so they could continue harassing people, or worse, attending conventions to assault people, etc.

I would say that 2018 was the low point. In the last 5 years, recovering any modicum of sex positivity has been slow, labourious work.

Actually, hand to god, y'all redditors coming in hot with your femboy fridays and your bottomposting made a HUGE difference. I haven't seen this much casual, carefree sexuality in years.

I keep saying "nature is healing" about this. You're like wonderful rehabbed wolves coming to our deer-decimated woodlands.

[floralfantasy]

Neurodiversity in the Majority World

Online Seminar 

How do Neurodivergent Therapists Engage with Social Justice?  Anna Maria Joseph 

Anna is a public mental health researcher and writer with OCD, based in Bangalore, India. As a researcher, she is engaged with projects studying the rehospitalisation of psychiatric patients, impact of arts based interventions for gender violence prevention, and suicide prevention among young people. Through her writing, she prioritises lived experience to discuss disability, queerness, and the climate crisis. Her work has been featured on spaces like Women Enabled International, Disability Debrief, Revival Disability India, and Gaysi Family. She was awarded the SCARF (Schizophrenia Research Foundation) Media for Mental Health Award in 2022. 

Vocabularies of inclusion: How Autistic voices in India are reframing personhood. Shubha Ranganathan

Shubha is an Associate Professor in the Department of Liberal Arts, Indian Institute of Technology Hyderabad. Her background is eclectic and interdisciplinary, having been trained in psychology but drawing on ethnographic approaches to questions around health, gender, and disability. Her research draws on a range of disciplines such as anthropology, gender studies, disability studies, and alternate paradigms within psychology such as critical and qualitative psychology. She has been engaged in qualitative explorations of local practices of healing among marginalized groups, as well as health and disability-related projects in India. Her work is framed by critical and social justice perspectives, focusing on lived experiences and the role of advocacy for social change. Currently, she is exploring questions about parenting and care in the context of autism as part of her engagement with the neurodiversity discourse in India.

The event is free of charge however, participants must register. 

Date: Tuesday 23rd July 2024

Time: 

20.30 hours - 22.00 hours (Tokyo Time)

1700 hours - 1830 hours (Indian Standard Time)

12.30 hours - 14.00 hours (UK Time) 

13.30 hours - 15.00 hours (Johannesburg Time)

7.30 am- 9.00 am (New York Time) 

8.30 am -10.00am (Buenos AiresTime)

Registration link https://forms.office.com/pages/responsepage.aspx?id=ofZoiROsL0e4mfcxbkOfQ2R-n7SIUR9Pj2px-QrEZi1UMFkzOFVUMk5aVlY4MkxVSzNPVUxWTUhUUy4u

Link to our website https://afroasiancriticalpsychology.wordpress.com/2024/06/26/neurodiversity-in-the-majority-world/

#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #AutisticRights #Autism #ADHD #SocialJustice #MajorityWorld #Inclusion #Psychology #India

[drukhari]

I just had a weird thought: see I have a fairly small chest (like small enough that I get mistaken for a guy), and I've been thinking about top surgery but ik I can get away with my small chest not to mention I wouldn't have to deal with transphobic family being particularly vocal about their transphobia... but I was thinking okay maybe top surgery is something I can get a little down the line but then at the same time I was thinking what if I get it in like 5 years and I would have had wasted 5 years of me being happier and it's like now I have to rush to make this decision but objectively I know I don't have to rush and I should take my time but I just feel like whenever I do decide to get top surgery, I will inevitably have that thought of "I've wasted so much time, I could've had it before" and idk I just feel very conflicted, like I'm postponing my own happiness

If you feel like you're postponing your own happiness, that kind of implies that you're already not happy with the state of things (or at the very least, not as happy as you'd like to be) and to me that's a very important point to acknowledge. Contrary to what some people may think, you don't need some grandiose reason for why you want to pursue any gender affirming surgery. If you truly feel that having it will make you happier than you already are, then to me that's enough.

Depending on where you live, the process of pursuing top surgery can already take some time and can involve having to have conversations at the very least with prospective surgeons (if not also a therapist, particularly when it comes to getting health insurance to cover it), so those kinds of conversations may help to either confirm your choice or bring up important considerations that maybe you hadn't thought of before. I know one thing I did myself was I joined a few online communities for people who had already had or were soon going to be having top surgery, so that I could hear firsthand what it's like and what kind of questions other people had along the way - and for me those conversations drove home that this is absolutely the path I need to take for myself to be happy and comfortable in my own body, and that I couldn't live my life any other way.

The last thing I'd like to add is that when it comes to your family, if they currently have control over any aspects of your life (e.g. shelter, food, help with paying bills, tuition, etc) or if there's a chance they'd try to physically harm you for pursuing top surgery - then you'd want to make sure that you're in a safe position to pursue the surgery before you schedule an official date with the surgeon. You can always start down the road of gathering information, speaking to some doctors, talking to other trans people online who've had it already, etc - everything up to the actual procedure itself since at that point it becomes a bit more difficult to hide. It sucks having to postpone your own happiness until you're free from a situation like that, but risking your health or safety isn't something I'd advise for anyone.

I hope that some of this helps, anon, I wanted to take some time to really think about your ask and make sure that what I was saying at least made sense - but ultimately the choice is no one else's but yours and whatever you choose should be what makes you feel happy and comfortable.

[malikselfindulgence]

Hello! Not a request but a question. I hope I won’t make you uncomfortable, sorry— but you could please explain to me what systems are? Or sending some links explaining? I have saw it sometimes but never could understand it well… I just want to get informed since some of my moots are and I want to support and learn more about them.

No worries, this doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, and I'm glad you asked!

First things first, every system or person with DID is different with different experiences. I'll be describing some of my own here, but just know it could always be different for others. The best way to support someone is to ask them questions, see what their experiences are like, and try and educate yourself outside of that as well!

Anyone feel free to correct me on anything I got wrong! DID is still seen in a horrible light where I live, which is hard for me, but I've been trying my best to learn

DID/dissociative identity disorder is usually caused by traumatic events in childhood, where the child proceeds to try and distance themselves from this trauma by dissociating, or pushing the events and memories onto another self, thus creating a fragmented sense of identity. This usually causes amnesia as well, due to repressing memories

A system is a body that has dissociative identity disorder/other specified dissociative disorder. There's usually a "host", the core of the body, and "alters", other personalities who diverge from the host

"Fronting" is a term usually used to describe which alter is in control of the body's actions at the time, or most present in the moment. Not all people with DID have such distinct compartilzations, though. Sometimes multiple alters might be fronting, sometimes you might not know at all. Remember that DID is a dissociate disorder!

Alters have a wide range depending on person to person- sometimes they have different interests, names, genders, ages and the like, and sometimes they're a lot more foggy and unspecific than that. People can have even up to 100 alters, or just the one. For me, it's only me and my alter Blaze! He's only chosen a name for himself pretty recently, though.

Remember to ask, if they're comfortable with it, more about alters and their differences. And, again if they're comfortable with it, who's fronting right now so you can differentiate between them. It's a nice way to show you respect their identities and that you care!

Here are some links that go a little more in-depth about the symptoms of DID!

Link 1 ☆ Link 2 ☆ CARRD made by someone w DID!

I talk a bit more about my own experiences with DID down below, but you can skip this bit >.> TW: mentions of childhood sexual abuse past this point

While I am not medically diagnosed with DID, I've had 3 therapists say I have a dissociative disorder and it's highly likely to be DID/OSDD, but since a medical diagnosis like that would literally wreck my life in this backwards ass country lol I don't want it on any of my records [same thing with autism! I was asked to get a formal diagnosis but my mother literally refused]

I formed my alter Blaze due to repeated sexual abuse at school from a teacher, and grooming from an older woman. Blaze was there to help me manage my emotions, and take over when I was too overwhelmed to even speak let alone move or function properly. I know I speak about it in a fairly casual and friendly manner on here, but DID has heavily affected my life. There's things neither me or Blaze can remember, and it scares us. There's days where I feel so far away from my body and I shut down completely because I don't feel like I really exist in the physical world. There's days where I or Blaze look in the mirror and we can't see ourselves, and it's very distressing.

I've been getting much more comfortable talking about it online! The community is very loving and open, and it's helped me and Blaze feel more comfortable. Nobody irl knows this part of me, despite the fact our mom notices the changes in behaviour sometimes, so it's nice having somewhere to talk about it

Me and Blaze been trying to manage our symptoms and relationship better! Things are much much better than they were in the past, especially now that we're far away from our past sexual harassors.

I think that's about it! I hope this helped at least somewhat, and feel free to ask more questions if you've got any! ☆

[honeybeeofficial]

Hey, Ezra! It's Rose from the ue olde YWP nano group. So I've recently decided to get top surgery to alleviate my dysphoria, but I don't know where to start. What were the first steps you took to get the care you needed?

Hi Rose!! How are you?

I think one of the first things I did was just join the r/topsurgery subreddit and start reading through posts and comments on there to work on desensitizing myself to the medical anxiety/squeamishness I’d been feeling. (This is totally not an issue for everyone but before I started looking, I couldn’t read about the details of the procedure or recovery without tons of anxiety and revulsion even though it was definitely something I wanted, and reading other people’s accounts and (cautiously) looking at recovery pictures helped.) This can also help you get a sense of what type of results are possible, and what type of results you personally want.

At around the same time, I started researching top surgeons in my area. You can look for recommendations on reddit, or google “gender affirming surgery [state]” or any combination of relevant terms. You’re looking for plastic surgeons, ideally ones with top surgery explicitly mentioned on their practice’s website.

As you find some surgeons near you, check for reviews and results online– lots of people post about their experience with specific surgeons on reddit and on transbucket.com. (You have to make an account for transbucket.)

Once I found a couple of surgeons I felt I’d be happy with, I called around to their offices to schedule consultations. I just said “Hi, I want to schedule a consultation for top surgery/mastectomy with [surgeon]?” and the receptionists took it from there! God bless our troops (kind receptionists who know what to do when nervous dweebs call them)

At some point, you will likely need a support letter from a therapist or psychiatrist. If you already have a therapist, start talking with them about your goals and bring up the need for a letter! If you don’t, look into either starting to see a therapist or services that will help you get your letter. Most insurances require the letter in order to preapprove the procedure, and my surgeon required that I get the letter –> preapproval before they would schedule me for a surgery date.

I can say plenty more about my experience but I don’t want to overwhelm you haha 😅 but please feel free to ask questions!! I am more than happy to talk about it (and am no longer squeamish about it! no question too TMI)

[queer-advice-hotline]

I’m transmasc (he/him) and dysphoria’s a bitch sometimes. You got any advice that might help?

Since you didn't specify any type of dysphoria that effects you, I'll just give some general advice. Feel free to send in another ask with anything more specific you would like.

Wearing bigger clothes will help, as will wearing more masculine styles and cuts. Distracting yourself can also be super helpful, like watching something you like or working on a project or hobby you enjoy. If being misgendered is making the dysphoria worse, finding communities, online or in person, where you're gendered correctly can help immensely. Talking about it can also help, whether it's to a therapist, friend, or just writing it down somewhere, it helps to get your feelings out.

[cryptidshadows]

I don't know if this is in your purview, but in a novel I'm working on, the main character - the one who cracked my egg in realization, in fact - is a gay trans man who started transitioning at 17 in 2005, in south florida, just north of miami. i figure he started socially transitioning between 16-17 (he didn't have a lot of friends in high school) and medically transitioning at 18 while going to college, with the support of his lesbian mom and her transbian friend, his "aunt". what advice or input would you give me on what it was like to be in early transmasc transition in the mid-2000s? i've had a surprisingly hard time over the last few years finding out what personal experience of that was like. thank you for sending out the transsignal on this!

Your novel sounds fantastic and I’d love to read it someday! I’ll preface this post by saying that it includes brief descriptions of experiences with transphobia.

I first came out in Georgia, but began HRT in Florida, and even in the 2010s, it was a process. In order to start HRT, you were “required” to have lived as your “chosen sex” for a full year, as well as have a signed letter from a licensed therapist that indicated you had been in therapy for at least 1 year as well, and had been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder. So your character socially transitioning from age 16-17 before getting approval to start HRT sounds accurate!

My insurance, of course, did not cover hormone therapy (or any kind of transition-related health care) and my appointments at Planned Parenthood were awkward at best, with staff asking tons of invasive questions out of fascination while continuing to misgender me despite my corrections. They weren’t necessarily hostile, but definitely bewildered at the idea of it. When I went to CVS to pick up my prescription for the first time, I was refused, and told that “we don’t serve your kind here.” I had to switch pharmacies to get my HRT filled. I was loudly and purposely outed by doctors, pharmacists, my dentist, and at a job interview. I was harassed repeatedly while out walking, at the laundromat, in other public spaces. I was threatened enough at my previous job that I had to quit.

I did not know any trans people in high school (I graduated in 2005). Looking back, I had a friend who fit the description, but was never out as trans. We likely didn't have the language to describe what it was at the time, especially since what little trans rep that existed in media was, well, very caricatured, and not typically positive.

Finding resources during that time was tricky too! In the mid-2000s, Tumblr didn’t exist - my first resources were Susans.org (a trans support forum and web site that’s been running since 1995) and Livejournal. I was able to safely connect with people in those spaces, and it was mostly through Susans.org that I found the resources I needed to start transitioning. If your character was well-off enough to have Internet access in the mid-2000s, this is what I’d recommend! Libraries were a resource as well for local communities, both for access to these emerging online spaces, and also for the few books on the subject which were invaluable resources during a time when info was scarce.

I hope this is useful! Feel free to reach out if you have other specific questions you're looking to answer!

[foxfairy06]

HIIIII poookkksss its ollie, u banned me so ill yell at you on tumbllrrr <33333. YOU ARE A JOKKKE. "No cause i literally got diagnosed on the phone but ok hunn go off". okay sure, seriously doubtful because you could lie over the phone... did you know that... bet you didnt. anyway. like thats your reply to what u actually have to do to get a diagnosis, so your over the phone shit is actual bullshit. like its not covid no reason to do that, and also they need to see you in person and have you explain how your feeling aswell as your movements and the way that you respond to questions to get a diagnosis, or they will ask your family and friends or your teaching if they have noticed behavior that is needed for your diagnosis. so BULLSHIT BULLSHIT :333. Telling me to touch grass, god you so basic oml. also calling me a hypocrite when your a literal exclusionist , which you get to decide what is and isnt in the lgbtqia+ community is hypocrisy. from the merriam webster "a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings" and something you said in our messages, "The basis is lgbt topics. It's meant to be a place for lgbt exclusionists to gather" you say you support ppl of lgbtq but if they dont meet your criteria or if you dont think their queer you exclude them. thats hypocrisy. anyway hope you actually get the help you need so you can WAKE THE FUCK UP for you stupidity <3 which i will continue to state because my proof above proves it <3.

-ollie p.s you are still a ball of sperm we all are its not rude its a literal fact

p.p.s if you bring up what i said in the server here is a message i sent to you "i was spewing BULLSHIT" which you know is because i am a troll and i was gathering dirt on you pooks

p.p.p.s i have screenshotted all of out chats <3 karmas a bitch she is coming for you.

Karma for??? Being a good person? I didn't say anything rude, homophobic, or bad to you so you have no actual leverage here. That's like saying "i took screenshots so karma is coming for you<3" to the poor child you just harassed that eas being respectful and kind to you the whole time.

For those who don't understand, green text to the rescue!

> be ollie

> be sitting at your moms computer, bored

> decide your life isn't angry enough

> create an entire Tumblr spewing radmed shit thinking transmeds will follow you

> find a transmed with a server

> start saying super homophobic shit and harass everyone

> get muted for being homophobic and transphobic and harassing people

> message all the mods and call them names for muting your

> admit you were trolling then scream and cry at the owner for being transmed while calling him names and making strawmen and adhominem

> get banned

> still be a pissbaby who can't stop being angry with his life

> decide touching grass is too much

> go leave a novel of an ask under the owners Tumblr that makes several assumptions and zero sense then question their means of diagnosis.

For those who don't have context, i am trans, I am duosex, I went to a therapy place for free, and saw a therapist. He immediately started going through the criteria for dysphoria because I asked but we ran out of time. So I'm getting my diagnosis finished over the phone. It took me two appointments and $0 to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis. So stop acting like this is difficult or hurting anyone.

It's not hypocrisy to provide a safe space for a group and exclude people. You would provide a safe space for enben that has binary people in it? Because they aren't enby. Thus they don't need that space, and could fuck it up.

You're the hypocrite calling me names and crying and screaming at me calling me crazy. Seriously get some help. Therapy is an option. If you don't feel safe in your current mental state you could always check in at an ER and tell them you need help. You could also look around. Many places provide therapy for free. Utilize these resources and stop harassing strangers online. I hope that goes well for you.

[woman-for-women]

So usually I wouldn’t ask for advice of this genre, but I’m genuinely worried. I think my already abusive parents are catching on that I’m a trans guy. I seriously want to detransition but it almost feels physically painful. What do I do? For context, I’m pre-op, pre basically everything. I still look like a girl and stuff.

Hi! I'm sorry you're going through this. I would consider myself dysphoric/desisted, but not truly detrans because I didn't truly socially (de)transition or medically (de)transition. I have some suggestions (adapted from one of my earlier asks on this topic), but it might be useful to talk to detransitioned women to get another perspective.

Talk to a trusted adult in your life. It could be a parent, an aunt/uncle, a teacher, or an older sibling. The adults in your life generally want the best for your health and happiness. If your parents are abusive or you are afraid to tell an adult you are trans, you can just tell them you are distressed with you body/gender roles and want help.

Contact your doctor or a local gender clinic and ask if they can point you towards detransitioning resources (if you have medically transitioned)

Search online and see if there are any detransition support groups near you (unlikely this will pan out, but it's worth a try). If you happen to know anyone who has detransitioned, you can also reach out to them.

If you are able to, please look into counseling. If you are dysphoric, you can ask for a counselor that will help you explore your discomfort with your body/gender roles and reconcile your relationship with your body. I’d avoid any therapists who advertise themselves as LGBTQIA2S+ friendly: they may be well meaning, but their primary method of treatment for dysphoria will likely be transition. Therapists and other mental health professionals tend to have bios where they list their background and what they specialize in: I'd suggest looking for a therapist who is female, and possibly someone who is comfortable gender non-conforming (someone who doesn't see being unhappy with gender roles or gender non-conforming as being the same as being trans). I went to a counselor who was an older lesbian. You can also send an email to Gender Exploratory Therapy Association (GETA) to see if they can match you with a therapist.

If you can't go to counseling, I strongly recommend this DBT Workbook (the link is to a free PDF version). Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a way to cope with distress and improve your distress tolerance through different techniques.

You can journal how you feel. It doesn't need to be fancy (it can be a notes page on your phone or some binder paper, but if journaling with markers and stickers and washi tape helps, you can do that too). Ask yourself what made you feel like you weren't or couldn't be a woman/girl? What does the thought of detransitioning make you feel? It can just be how you feel in general. If you're comfortable, you can also share your journal with a trusted adult or counselor. Or, it can just be for your eyes only.

Work on improving your integrity and comfort with your body. It helps you feel wonderful feelings, taste your favorite foods, see beautiful things... your body is not trying to hurt you or work against you. For example, your body is not menstruating because it is "punishing" you for not being pregnant (this is something I heard a lot growing up). Menstruation is just something female bodies do. It's vital to regulating your hormonal health, bone density, and weight. While yes, you can get pregnant and be a parent if you choose to as an adult, your body is not telling you to do anything. Your bodily functions are not a mandate. You exist for you!

Try to avoid seeing your body as a problem, or as fractured parts you want to fix: your body is just your body. Don't think of your body as a decorative object you need to change to please anyone. Your body exists for you and (most importantly) your body is you. Treating your body well is part of treating yourself well.

To improve your relationship with your body, I would recommend picking a sport or physical activity. Do something you like that makes you comfortable! If wearing a swimsuit fills you with dread, wear a more modest one or don't pick swimming. It can be as simple as walking, stretching, or yoga in your room. The point of a physical activity is not just to keep in shape, but to feel how your body is capable of doing whatever you want it to. Your body doesn't have to look a certain way for that.

Your image of your body and your comfort with being female might also improve if you take a social media break. I know it can be hard, but try to commit to a short break (a week, a month). Use this time to read, listen to music, draw, relax, exercise... whatever will keep you happy and healthy. Social media is saturated with images of sexualized, objectified, and impossibly thin women. It can be stressful to feel like you don't "measure up" to what the Internet tells you a woman is supposed to be. Take this time to remind yourself that you don't need to imitate these people to be happy.

I would also recommend you unfollow any social media accounts that make you feel bad about your body or talk about transitioning and gender all the time (you can always refollow later). Focus on how you feel about your body and yourself, not what other people promote.

What or how you decide to change socially, who you tell, or how you say it is up to you. You don't need to disclose why you're detransitioning either. You can just tell people you've decided it wasn't for you or that you'd like to go by your old name/pronouns. Don't let anyone, especially other transitioned peers, pressure you into doing or revealing anything you don't want to. If you have a friend group of trans peers your age, don't let them make you feel bad! You have the right to do what's best for you. If you have friends that aren't supportive of you doing what's best for you, it might be best to look for a new friend group.

If you've been happiest dressing in "boy" clothes or doing certain "boy" activities, none of that has to change when you detransition! Detransitioning should be about accepting that your natal biological sex is female. Being female is a neutral fact, like being brunette or being 167 cm. Being female has no bearing on what you can do, who you can love, what professions, hobbies, or interests you have... that's all gender. You don't have to change how you dress, think, feel, act, talk, etc. None of these things can disqualify you from being a woman or girl. Just be yourself and know there's no wrong way to be female.

Being a woman or girl can be scary. Menstruation sucks, sexual harassment sucks, sexism sucks. But there's light at the end of the tunnel, and that's other women and girls! Reach out to them. They are your lifeline. Build friendships. There are other women and girls just like you. You are never alone.

On that note, having positive female role models and consuming books/TV shows/movies/music by and about women can help you feel better about detransitioning and reconciling with being female.

Don't discount the wisdom of older women! They're not nags, shrews, or "Karens". They're female, too. Many of them have likely felt what you feel.

Detransitioning doesn't mean you need to feel a certain type of way on gender or trans issues. Don't let radical feminists, conservatives, or trans-rights activists bully you into saying or doing what suits their narrative. It's your life, so do what's right for you!

Lastly, here are some resources I would recommend, both about transition and detransition:

A Booklet on Gender Detransition

The risks of binding

Testosterone use and pelvic health

The LGB Alliance USA also runs a virtual group for adult dysphoric women every other Wednesday

Detransition may feel painful now, but I truly think accepting my body and working hard to deal with distressing thoughts like dysphoria has improved my quality of life a lot. It will take work, but freeing yourself from the expectations of gender and treating dysphoria like any other body dysmorphia (as that can be improved over time) is a lot better in the long run than trying to obsessively tailor every aspect of your life to be gender affirming to lessen your feelings of dysphoria.

The prevailing narrative told to dysphoric and trans-identifying teens is that you need to transition, you need to go on hormones, you need to do xyz or you will die. This is not true. Most dysphoric youth who do not medically transition end up as happy, alive adults. (If you are having suicidal thoughts, please tell a trusted adult or call a hotline). So I’m going to tell you instead what I was told, and what other lesbian, gay, and bisexual kids were told growing up: it gets better, and you are going to be okay <3

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Ben Appel

Published: Mar 17, 2024

On February 5, 2024, The Free Press published the whistleblowing account of Tamara Pietzke, a Washington State mental health therapist. For six years, Pietzke worked at MultiCare, one of Washington state’s largest hospital systems. In her essay, Pietzke explained why she chose to leave MultiCare in January.

“In the past year I noticed a concerning new trend in my field,” Pietzke wrote. “I was getting the message from my supervisors that when a young person I was seeing expressed discomfort with their gender—the diagnostic term is gender dysphoria—I should throw out all my training. No matter the patient’s history or other mental health conditions that could be complicating the situation, I was simply to affirm that the patient was transgender, and even approve the start of a medical transition.”

Pietzke described the case studies of three patients she treated at MultiCare. One was a 13-year-old girl who had an abusive mother, was a victim of multiple sexual assaults, and had been diagnosed with “depression, PTSD, anxiety, intermittent explosive disorder, and autism.” After the girl was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, despite the girl’s complex history, the Mary Bridge clinicians recommended she take medication to suppress her periods and consider taking testosterone. When Pietzke voiced her concerns to her program manager, she was told to “examine [her] personal beliefs and biases about trans kids.” The girl was then promptly removed from her care.

Another patient, a 16-year-old client who had anxiety, depression, and ADHD, told Pietzke that, during the pandemic, after reading online about gender, she didn’t feel like a girl anymore. Soon, she started using she/they pronouns and wearing a chest binder. In 2022, she went to Mary Bridge, where she was prescribed birth control to stop her period, since the girl’s father wouldn’t consent to allowing testosterone treatment. After a hospitalization for swallowing a bottle of pills, the girl told Pietzke she identified as a “wounded male dog” and talked about wearing ears and a tail in order to feel more like her true self. Pietzke’s concerns were minimized by her colleagues, who seemed to have no issue with patients identifying as animals if it made them happy.

In 2022, Pietzke began treating a female in her early twenties who had transitioned as a teen. The patient, who rarely left the house and spent most of the day in bed, had been diagnosed with autism, anxiety, gender dysphoria, depression, Tourette syndrome, and a conversion disorder. Mary Bridge prescribed the girl testosterone in 2018, when she was 17, “despite the fact that this patient is diabetic and one of the hormone’s side effects is that it might increase insulin resistance,” wrote Pietzke. “The patient’s mother, who has another transgender child, strongly encouraged it.”

“My biggest fear about the gender-affirming practices my industry has blindly adopted is that they are causing irreversible damage to our clients,” wrote Pietzke. “I am desperate to help my patients. And I believe, if I don’t speak out, I will have betrayed them.”

In mid-February, I spoke to Pietzke over Zoom. She had just been fired from her new job.

After Pietzke left MultiCare, she was hired by a therapy clinic to provide mental health counseling and neurofeedback, a treatment that helps patients produce more positive brainwaves. From the beginning, Pietzke’s new boss had insisted that, if neurofeedback wasn’t for her, she could switch to counseling full time. And yet, when Pietzke requested this change, her boss said that wasn’t an option and promptly let her go.

The way Pietzke described it, it sounded like her whistleblowing had contributed to her boss’s decision. Now, Pietzke hopes to open her own practice in order to avoid running into this issue at yet another clinic.

“I just want to be able to do my job and help people,” she told me.

In Washington, conversion therapy laws include “gender identity” along with sexual orientation, which means that therapists can face legal repercussions for failing to properly affirm a patient in his or her trans identity. I asked Pietzke if this concerns her.

“Believe me, I’m making it very clear that I’m not trying to change anybody,” she said. “All I want to be able to say is, ‘Let’s put a pin in it. Let’s process this and work through this and not rush to medicalize. You’re a child.’”

I explained to Pietzke how I first got involved in this issue. After I learned that gender-nonconforming youth were being medicalized, I began to wonder what the difference was between a “trans kid” and the effeminate little boy that I had been growing up.

“I was teased all the time as a kid,” I said. “In middle school, I was often asked, ‘Are you a boy or a girl?’ Most of my friends were girls and I loved girly things. I was really athletic, but I wanted to play with the girl's lacrosse stick rather than the boy's lacrosse stick. So, to imagine that there would be this ideology, for lack of a better word, that said, 'Which sex do you feel like? Which sex do you identify as, according to these gender norms?’ I can’t imagine, being young, I would’ve been able to answer, ‘Oh, I know I feel more like a boy.’”

“It would’ve been so confusing,” said Pietzke.

“And, because I was raised really religious, I couldn’t reconcile my sexuality with my upbringing,” I said. “So, I’m sure I may have thought, ‘Good, this isn’t a moral defect, it’s just a medical problem that I can fix. I’ll feel more comfortable, I’ll blend into society more, and the bullying might stop.’”

That was why I asked about the conversation therapy laws, I told Pietzke. “Like you said, you’re not trying to change anybody. But there needs to be some exploring here, because there can be other things at play, including the possibility that you’re just dealing with a gender-nonconforming kid who will grow up to be gay.” In other words, “gender-affirming care” can be a new form of gay conversion therapy.

“My understanding is that about 85 percent of gender-distressed youth who are allowed to progress through puberty normally resolve that distress,” said Pietzke. “And oftentimes they do end up being gay. For a kid to even have the thought that they might have been born in the wrong body is just so unfair.”

She continued. “And that is what kids are talking about now. They don’t even need an adult to say it. Their peers start to identify as another gender, and they think, ‘OK, maybe I am, too.’”

To describe what’s occurring in the medical system when it comes to “gender-affirming care,” Pietzke said that, in the past, she has hesitated to use the word “corruption,” only because “it feels so extreme.”

“But that’s what it is,” she said. “A level of corruption that makes me heartsick. I have to wonder, do people really think they’re doing what’s best for people? Or, are they personally benefiting from providing these treatments in some way? I’m trying to figure it out. But it’s scary to me.”

Last year, I spoke with Dr. Laura Edwards-Leeper, the founding psychologist for the first hospital-based pediatric gender clinic in the U.S. During our conversation, Dr. Edwards-Leeper, who adapted the “Dutch Protocol”—puberty blockers followed by cross-sex hormones and surgery—to be used in the U.S., used the word “cult” at least five times to describe what’s become of her field. Practitioners, she said, are ignoring nearly everything they’ve learned about childhood development and instead taking cues from colleagues who might have the “lived experience” of being trans but who lack medical training. Often, practitioners fear being labeled transphobic if they fail to follow the dictates of these colleagues.

I asked Pietzke if she agreed with Dr. Edwards-Leeper’s observations.

“Absolutely,” she said. “I definitely think people are afraid of being labeled transphobic.” She described a virtual gender-affirming care training she attended while working for MultiCare. For asking basic questions about possible side effects and health consequences of cross-sex hormones, and about the high correlation between gender dysphoria and other mental health disorders in girls, “that [label] was thrown out at me almost immediately,” she said. “They said I was harming people and that I need to keep ‘politics’ out of it.” After the training session, four people reached out to Pietzke to say that they had the same concerns, but they were afraid to speak up because they saw how she had been treated. “They’re scared,” she said.

When it comes to the politicization of this issue, I told Pietzke, I’m often reminded of Newton’s third law of motion: for every action in nature, there is an equal and opposite reaction. That is, if one side objects to, say, cross-sex hormones for gender-distressed teenagers, the other side doubles down by proposing even more radical interventions or by fear-mongering about suicide. It becomes a game of ping-pong, with vulnerable kids stuck in the middle.

Another activist tactic that really bothers me, I continued, is when they accuse people who object to sex-trait modification for minors of opposing gender-nonconformity in general.

“In reality, it’s the exact opposite,” I said. “I want society to make more space for young people who innately transgress gender norms. All I’m saying is that defying stereotypes is not a medical problem that needs to be fixed.” Especially when the “fixing” means severe health consequences, infertility, and often, particularly for males, anorgasmia.

Pietzke agreed. “Why can’t we just let people be people without making them think there’s something wrong with the way they’re wired?” she said. “Adolescence is uncomfortable for everybody. Let’s be the adults in this situation and guide them through it, rather than rushing to medicalize them.”

To learn more about Pietzke’s preferred approach to counseling young people, I posed a scenario. “Let’s say a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old comes to you for therapy. She’s really masculine-presenting, likes hanging out with boys, is rough and tumble, and she says that she doesn’t feel like a girl. How would you handle this?”

Pietzke didn’t take long to respond. “I have a few thoughts,” she said. “My first inclination would be to ask her, “What does being a girl mean to you? What does feeling like a girl mean? Because if what you’re saying is that you don’t like fake nails and fake eyelashes and going shopping, well, that doesn’t mean you’re not a girl. That’s just one type of being a girl.”

Pietzke continued, “I’ve puzzled over this a lot. I’ve thought, what if a kid came in and said she was going to kill herself because she thought she was in the wrong body? Well, that made me ask myself, what would I do if a person with depression said she was going to kill herself? The solution isn’t fixing the thing that appears to be causing distress. You need to treat the resilience piece, so that when hard things happen or difficult feelings arise, you don’t automatically default to thinking, ‘I don’t want to be alive anymore.’ Of course I’d tell my patient, ‘Yes, I absolutely hear that you’re in pain and I care so much about that. But this suicidal piece, we need to work on that. Because life is hard, and I certainly want to help you have the resilience to be able to navigate the hard things.’”

Pietzke and I talked about the data, in particular the fact that there is no evidence showing that kids and adolescents who don’t receive puberty blockers or cross-sex hormones are at greater risk of suicide, despite activists’ dogged insistence on peddling this narrative. In reality, these treatments could be making things worse for many people.

Pietzke said, “If we just assume that someone’s struggles are strictly because of gender distress and we don’t teach them the skills to navigate depression, anxiety, or whatever else they might be struggling with, we’re not doing them any favors.”

I told Pietzke that I sometimes fear that the LGBT organizations that push this false suicide narrative are actually creating a greater risk of suicide contagion among young people.

“Exactly,” said Pietzke. “If I were 14, and I was told that, if the adults in my life don’t let me do this one thing, I might commit suicide, there’s a good possibility that I would start to think, ‘Maybe I am suicidal.’ I think it just amplifies the distress.”

Since Pietzke went public with her story, she said that no one from MultiCare has contacted her. This doesn’t surprise me. But it surprised Pietzke.

“I really thought, ‘How can people hear this information and the facts and statistics and still think that I’m in the wrong?’” she said. “I know that makes me sound naïve, but I just don’t understand.”

“It’s crazy-making,” I said.

“It is crazy-making. I’ve thought, ‘What is wrong with me?’ I feel like it’s The Twilight Zone, where I’m screaming that the sky is blue and everyone says, ‘No, it’s orange.’”

As Pietzke spoke, I thought back to just a few of the myriad times I’ve questioned my own sanity when it comes to this issue. I told her that I’m constantly asking myself whether I’ve missed some important detail.

“I don’t think the other side is questioning themselves like we do,” said Pietzke. “At least I don’t hear them doing it. If you’re not willing to reconsider your position on things, then you’re pushing for an ideology rather than what’s best practice for the people you’re treating.”

What has helped Pietzke is the support she’s received since she came forward with her story. “I have had people contact me and thank me for speaking out,” Pietzke said. “I’m so grateful for that, because this is a lonely process.”

She mentioned Jamie Reed, the whistleblower from the pediatric gender clinic at Washington University in St. Louis. Reed, who is now the executive director of the LGBT Courage Coalition, which advocates for gender medicine reform and is a resource for whistleblowers, helped Pietzke through the process.

“I listen to Jamie talk and I think she’s so smart, she has so much knowledge,” said Pietzke. “I’m just a mom and a therapist who wants to give people the best treatment that they deserve. Having the support now has meant a lot to me.”

Today, Pietzke has no regrets about blowing the whistle. She said that she would be “devastated” to learn that a young person she had helped transition came to regret it.

“This isn’t a gray area,” Pietzke said. “Kids can’t adequately consent to these treatments. As a therapist, my loyalty isn’t just to them at 13, 14, or 15. My loyalty is to them 10 years down the road, too.”

--

About the Author

Ben Appel has written for Newsweek, The Free Press, Quillette, Unherd, and many other publications. His memoir, Cis White Gay, about his experience in LGBT activism and Ivy League academia, is forthcoming. Subscribe to his Substack and follow him on X @benappel.