#Gag Farming Friday

[thelofian]

Daily Booster Table (TTCC DBT) for 2024-08-02, Gag Farming Friday, 🍦🍪 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day · 🖍️📚 National Coloring Book Day · 🎈💦 National Water Balloon Day

Back from hiatus again. I won't be able to post regularly from now on. Thank you all for your support for the past few months! 💗

[daysneezes]

Happy 1 month since Peri is made real! Who put that High Roller there

[pythianoracle]

I love this tweet so fucking much

[brockevandunn]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8uMcXnV/

Oh I was living my best life while seeing Nicki. I had a blast and she put on a show. This was my first time seeing her and it for sure won't be the last. I have loved her since 2009 when I heard two classmates rapping itty bitty piggy. I have always loved female rap since I was young and there was no one popping off at that time then Nicki came to save female rap. It was such an emotional moment. ❤️

[themindelectricdemo4]

i think im ok o3o

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

Some thoughts while I'm watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die for the first time:

After the Big Game, something that's been itching my brain for a while came back- Clivesdale. Hatchet Town is reinforcing this, but since Black Friday and Honey Queen the Clivesdale hate has really started to stand out to me. Yes it's a funny gag, but the Hatchetfield disdain for Clivesdale is straight-up cultish. Laura Cunningham (I think was her name?) had lived in Hatchetfield for 15 years, but was entirely excommunicated when it came out that she was from Clivesdale. Keep in mind, she was well-liked enough to be a Honey Queen candidate. Two teenagers are brutally murdered and everyone is more focused on the loss against the Chemists. Even people who hate Hatchetfield like Emma and Ziggy hate Clivesdale more. The general population of Hatchetfield is so feverish. I know that the Wiggly doll riots happened all over the world, but holy SHIT it didn't take any time at all for Hatchetfield to totally cave in on itself!

Here's the other thing that gets me- has anyone ever really left Hatchetfield? Anyone who wanted to?

•Emma Perkins has exactly one life goal- not to die in Hatchetfield. Her entire life had been, up until Jane's death, about getting away from Hatchetfield. She is officially pronounced dead after the explosion at Starlight Theatre, though she survived in Clivesdale Hospital. She only lived for a couple weeks after "dying" in Hatchetfield. She also dies almost immediately after returning to her hometown in the events of Forever and Always. She does not die after the fire at her weed farm, but she is arrested and presumably imprisoned in Hatchetfield.

•Frank Pricely is imprisoned by Sherman Young after his attempted escape.

•Alice Woodward dies in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals before she can leave for college. In fact, she dies after skipping the bus to Clivesdale

•Lex and Hannah Foster (along with Ethan Greene) have plans to escape Hatchetfield and head to California. All of them die before they can even get past Nantucket bridge.

•Zoey Chambers wants to win Honey Queen for the funds to get out of Hatchetfield. In both Honey Queen and The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals she dies before she has the chance to leave.

•Jonathan Brisby attempts to retrieve Lucy Stockworth from Hatchetfield. Brisby dies in the woods, Lucy disappears in the same woods with the Woolyfoot.

•Jenny and Andy planned to move to Clivesdale, but Jenny dies before she can leave, and by the time Andy becomes Andrew Killgore he's back at CCRP in Hatchetfield. Obviously this is wobbly because of timeline shenanigans, but it's implied that Ted didn't actually cross timelines during the events of Time Bastard, just fucked around in his own a lot.

There's just something. There's something about Hatchetfield. It's like a black hole. If it wants you there, and it does, you always end up there, and it's not likely you'll leave a second time.

Something about the ambient affects of the town absolutely fascinates me, I've been thinking about this stuff for like 5 years and it's not gotten old to me yet

[alt-vera]

— whiskey girl ⁀➷

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joel miller gives his whiskey girl a gift.

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✿ | joel miller | 1.06k | ❛ whiskey girl - toby keith ❜ | part one

warnings: pre outbreak!joel miller. drinking. allude to sex. age gap.

note: who knows when im gonna post again lol stay tuned for part two tho

❝ just ain’t enough good burn in tequila, she needs somethin’ with a little more edge and a little more pain ❞

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JOEL MILLER LIKED HIS GIRLS LIKE HE LIKED HIS DRINKS.

　Strong, neat, and not cheap enough to make him gag.

　That’s why he liked you: a farmer’s granddaughter majoring in agriculture who worked hard for what she had and knew the value of respecting those around her without being walked over. A little ragged on the edges, but Joel liked ‘em rough.

　Same could be said for you. You liked Joel for the same reasons he fawned over you. He was charming, and assiduous, with enough edge worn into his features to draw you in at the drop of a dime.

　So, when you invited Joel to a local dive bar on an eventless friday night, he sure as hell wasn’t going to say no. It was rare for you both to be free; usually he was working late, or you had classes, or tests, or were helping on the farm.

　He saw your worn mustang parked by the entrance, and spotted you instantaneously as he walked inside. A welcoming aura surrounded you as you chatted with some old men, presumably other farmers who knew you from your last name and came in for a drink after a sweltering day of plowing fields. Your smile gleamed under the warm lights of the bar, and Joel couldn’t help it as his lips curled into a smile just from looking at you.

　“Haven’t been making you wait long, have i?” He drawled as he sauntered up to you, hand making it’s way into the back pocket of your jeans, pulling you closer to him.

　You directed your smile his way before bidding your goodbyes to the old folks. “‘Course not, Miller. You know that if you did, i would’ve given you hell as soon as you set foot in the door.”

　Joel chuckled, running his free hand through his messy hair. “Fair enough, darlin’. You need a drink?”

　“Please,” You replied, and Joel put two fingers in his mouth, throwing a loud whistle at the bartender.

　“Can i get a beer and a, uh,” He glanced over to you for a moment, deep eyes meeting your own, before a smirked danced across his features, “…a whiskey, neat, for my girl, please.”

　You couldn’t help as your cheeks warmed at his words. My girl. You rolled your eyes, turning your face away from him so that he couldn’t see the ruddy heat spreading across your face.

　The two of you didn’t have a label. You drank together, you kissed, you fucked. You’d make dinner for him and his daughter, and he’d take you for drives at sunset down empty country roads, radio blasting through the open heat waves as you yelled gleefully out the windows.

　Still, anyone who looked at you and Joel knew there was something there, even when his hand wasn’t in your back pocket or your fingers were grasping his forearm. You were his girl. And he was your guy. No denomination necessary.

　One whiskey turned to three before you were singing along to the jukebox in the corner of the bar, holding up invisible microphones to random folks who’d join you in your performance. Joel watched, amused, as you twirled around to the twang of the guitar blaring through the speakers. His smile grew as you crept closer to him, pretending to reel him in to dance with you like a fish caught on a worm.

　Little did you know that you already had him from the moment he met you. Hook, line, and sinker.

　His hand found yours as he gave in, not much of a dancer, but eager to spin you around. You let him lead you, swaying to the pace of the music, pulling you closer to him as the tempo continued on.

　He pulled you flush against him. Forgetting the music, forgetting the dancing, forgetting the watching eyes. He kissed you, a passionate catch of the lips that left you craving more, the dull glow of amber above you acting like a spotlight that shone on you and Joel solely.

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　Joel couldn’t help himself as reached a hand up and drew a sloppy happy face on the fogged up windows of your mustang. Your head laid on his bare chest as you both fought to catch your breath, crickets chirping loudly in the farm field, audible even through the barrier of your car.

　You felt him bury his nose in your hair, breathing in the smell of you. Vanilla, and sweet musk, and whiskey. He felt you smile against his pec, eyes stealing a glance up to meet his.

　“I have a present for you,” He spoke suddenly, voice worn and husky.

　“Better than the way you just fucked me?” You joked with a light chuckle, feeling his arm move as he went to fish something out of his jeans that had fell on the floor of your backseat.

　He held the gift in his large hand before opening his palm to you to reveal a small wooden box. His fingers inched it open, and inside was a thin-banded ring with a dainty diamond in the middle.

　You turned dreadfully quiet as you stared at the band, and an anxious prickle crept over Joel’s skin.

　You raised yourself off his chest, turning to look at him. “Joel, if you’re proposing to me before even asking me to be your girlfriend, then i’m going to chuck this out into the field.”

　“What?” He laughed, inching so that he was sitting upright. “No, no, it’s a promise ring,” He said, plucking the jewellery out of the box and grabbing your hand, pushing it delicately onto your ring finger.

　“Ever since Sarah’s mom up and left, datin’ has been hard. I didn’t even wanna look at another woman—“ Joel’s deep eyes met yours, and you felt your heart swell, “—Until i met you.”

　“I don’t want t’distract you from your studies,” He continued, “But you’re my girl, and i want everyone to know it.”

　There it was again. My girl. Your pulse raced as you kissed him eagerly, full of adoration. Joel could still taste the smooth relish of whiskey on your breath.

　You smiled at him euphorically as you pulled away, words leaving your lips before you could even register the weight of them. “I love you, Joel.”

　Joel’s thumb stroked your cheek affectionately, returning your grin. “I love you too, my little whiskey girl.”

[roskirambles]

Horror Comedy of the Day: Leprechaun (1993)

1983, North Dakota. Dan O'Grady comes back from a trip overseas with a pot full of gold. Shortly after showing this to his wife, she gets murdered, for the true owner of this treasure followed him all the way. You see, in Ireland there's an old legend that talks of a pot of gold you can find at the end of the rainbow. If you manage to get there, it's yours to keep. But you got to be careful: the fae folk known as the Leprechaun will come for you to take it back.

10 years later, a teenage girl called Tory Redding, who's renting the farm house with her family has to fend this same creature off, as he has escaped the crate he was trapped in.

No, you read that correctly: someone made the old Irish folk tale you most likely associate with the Lucky Charms cereal into a horror film. One where Jennifer Aniston is fighting off Warwick Davis of Willow (1988) fame. And the end result is... kind of a glorious, silly mess.

As the film underwent production, it changed the tone multiple times, going from a more straightforward slasher film to a comedy film that might qualify for a PG rating, only to inject back some gore late in production. The pastiche shows: it's has the same kind of simplistic logic and gags you'd expect from a kids movie down to the musical score, while also being punctuated by (infrequent) blood levels that wouldn't be out of place in Friday the 13th, with the occasional burst of profanity on top.

But of course, we got to talk about the titular character: among an enthusiastic but not very robust cast, Warwick Davis took the role after a slow period in his career to show he had more range than the well meaning Nelwyn; he very clearly had a blast playing the smug, conniving little trickster, chewing the scenery wherever the opportunity arose.

It borders on being infantile but charmingly so, being very much unashamed of its ridiculousness. Fuck you, Lucky Charms indeed.

[cogbreath]

see this post all the time and thimk Youuuuuuuu

literally how gag farming fridays got me

[writer652]

Dagon.

Authors Note: I wasn't gonna start posting this until I finished one of my many ongoing fics, but… The release of "Luca" in theatres last week, and the upcoming release of "Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire" were such a good opportunity to let it pass, so enjoy!

Also, I wanna thank @ironychan for allowing me to use their Oc's and set this on the same timeline as some of her fics, like:

"Three Little Monsters"

"Famiglia"

"A Little Human" which in itself is a combination of the previous two.

Things to take into account: Giulia and Massimo are sea monsters thanks to a genie, Ercole becomes one thanks to a spell, Ciccio has a sea monster girlfriend, and Alberto has an extended family in Napoli.

Chapter 1: Tragic Being.

"Monsters are tragic beings. They are born too tall, too strong, too heavy. They are not evil by choice. That is their tragedy." —Ishir⁠ō Honda.

It was late at night when old Tommaso and his son-in-law, Giacomo, were out at sea fishing; ever since Alberto had come to live with Massimo, his business was better than ever; having a sea monster as a partner increased the catching. 

So, the men wanted to take advantage of the night when the Marcovaldo duo was asleep to increase their trawling.

As they arrived at the spot, Tomasso put out their new record player while Giacomo prepared for fishing. 

"We should have our eyes open for sea monsters," Giacomo said as he picked the float to put the net through the winch.

Tommaso stopped before placing the needle on the disc and looked at him before the two burst into laughter; ever since that summer just two years ago, sea monsters have become so usual in Portorrosso that it was weird to think the town once hated them, even if this had raised tensions with the nearest town, San Guisseppe, people there were still not sure how to feel about their aquatic neighbors.

Even Luca, Alberto, and Giulia were still afraid of going back after the little incident where they were exposed as sea monsters in front of everybody, and then the town pretty much hunted them. Even with the reassurance of Signor Giglioli, the old man who helped them when nobody else did, they doubted of ever coming back.

But even so, Portorroso had become a safe space where connivance was possible, and mostly everyone was happy about this; those who had refused to accept sea monsters at first were warming up to them, and if the number one hater of sea monsters himself, Ercole Visconti, became one that time, anything was possible.

"All do," Tommaso added after laughing, "Massimo told me Alberto and Giulia like to sleep over at Luca's house; we  should  be careful in case they're swimming around here."

Giacomo nodded as he began pulling the net inside the boat; it wasn't that big of a catch, but they would return empty-handed.

"Do you remember that night? When we accidentally caught him on the net?" 

His father-in-law nodded.

"How he shooked the boat! I was afraid he was gonna sink us!" Giacomo continued.

"Oh yeah! He's a strong boy for his age, no doubt."

"And the way he jumped! He completely passed over us!" At the time, he had been scared to death of him, but now he admitted Alberto had been pretty cool that time.

"I'm just glad he's a good boy, all do; we should still keep him out of our boat, especially at night."

This made the two laugh, as it was a common gag after Alberto accidentally burned Massimo's boat that one time.

"He still beats us at fishing do," admitted Tomaso at seeing the few fishes they caught.

Giacomo denied it with the head.

"Maybe we need to look for a better spot," he said as he prepared to start the engine.

The waves began to shiver, violently rocking the boat to the sides; both men screamed as they grabbed the ship to not fall; water entered the deck, and many objects fell to the ground; Tomaso's finger pushed the needle, and the record began to play:

On the farm, every Friday

On the farm, it's rabbit pie day.

But that wasn't the weirdest thing; the waters began to shine in a strange neon green light illuminating the vessel; Giacomo looked over the border and peaked at the light; his eyes opened wide: it was coming from the sea, but what in God's name was that?!

Another tremor stronger than the last one, made the two fall to the floor as they screamed in terror. 

  So, every Friday that ever comes along,

I get up early and sing this little song

The tremble stopped, and nothing else was heard except for the rapid breathing of both.

"What was that?!" Asked Tommaso; despite his old age, he immediately stood up and stopped the player; the song wasn't helping the moment. 

"I don't know!" Giacomo replied, standing up and pointing a finger at the sea, "But the waters... they were shining!" 

Tomasso looked at him as if he was crazy.

"I swear, look..." but the bright was gone; there was nothing more than regular waters, a little shaky from the sea trembling. 

Giacomo looked at him again.

"I swear; I..."

Tomaso just raised a hand.

"Let's... get out of here! Whatever it was, it's over, we should better check Viola is safe."

Giacomo nodded; that seemed the perfect plan; maybe the light was just in his head. 

Tommaso picked up the stuff that had fallen while Giacomo prepared to start the engine, but in that, he saw ahead; there was an enormous rock a few meters apart from  Isola del Mare.  

The man squinted one eye; he had fished around that area for years and had never seen that rock; it was curved towards the front, spike-like scutes; it looked like a reversed shark fin.

He walked to the front for a better look; the rock was also huge, at less than 10 meters tall. 

How was that possible? Where the hell had it come from?

Tomaso finished putting a tool over a box; he looked up and noticed his companion looking ahead instead of starting the motor.

"Giacomo!" He scolded him but saw no reaction from his son-in-law, so he looked ahead; his entire body froze.

"That... was not there before," he declared.

Giacomo could only nod.

They kept still, looking at that strange gravel that came out of nowhere; could it be related to the seaquake? 

The rock swam ahead.

The two screamed and backed down; Giacomo stumbled on a screwdriver and fell while Tomaso grabbed onto the cabin. 

The rock swam until it reached the island, and in their way, Tomaso noticed that it wasn't just one rock; behind it, there was another, and several more ran in a straight line, with smaller ones at the bottom. 

"Dorsal fins,"  he thought,  "but that would mean..."

At reaching the island, the creature began to rise; it looked like a lizard, but it stood on two legs and possessed a seemingly vestigial toe on the back of the foot and three dinosaur-like toes. 

In fact, it looked like a T-Rex, but its scaly arms were long and muscular, with four fingers and sharp claws; it also had fins on its arms, and they were sharp-edged like knives. 

The mouth was big and long, almost like the one of a crocodile, with two keen canines sticking out of the jaws. It also had fins on top of the head with two white horns.  

Its eyes were green. 

The creature was purple, but some of the scales on the arms were deep sea blue. 

And it's size... 25 feet (7.6) tall at best.

Tomaso's eyes opened as wide as they could; never in his life had he seen such a creature; it was almost unbelievable to see a being of that dimension, and it looked scary as hell.

Giacomo was picking himself up when he noticed the monster while Tomaso backed up with a hand on his chest. Giacomo saw the state of his father-in-law and quickly held him from the back, afraid he was collapsing.

"What is that?" Was all the old mand could say, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" 

Giacomo couldn't respond, as his eyes were on the demon. Even now that he was used to sea monsters, nothing compared to that thing! It was on another level!

The beast walked out of the water, closed its eyes, and trembled to the sides, shaking its head; it almost looked confused. His big legs were enough for it to reach the tower in seconds. The structure was small in his comparison. The monster leaned both hands on the tower, and the building collapsed under his weight. 

The creature screamed in surprise as it fell along the construction and landed on the remains. 

The two screamed again; that thing crushed the tower as if it were made of cards!

The fins of the ears moved to the sea, and the creature raised its head and looked at the water; its eyes opened wide as he noticed the boat. 

"BRRANNK!" The monster roared and stood up, beginning to run to the sea.

Both men screamed, and Giacomo had to let go of his elder to run down the deck to start the engine; that thing was coming from them! They have to get out of there! 

Tomaso didn´t fall to the ground but instead went inside the cabin to ride out of there; on his way, he pushed the box where the gramophone was resting, and the needle came down as the song began to play again:

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Bang, bang, bang, bang goes the farmer's gun

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run, run

"GIACOMO! START THE ENGINE!" 

"I'M TRYING! I'M TRYING!" 

The monster entered the water and submerged, but its horns and dorsal fins were still visible and were heading straight to them. It was frightening how much it resembled a shark.

The engine finally started.

"LET'S GO!"

Tomaso only nodded as he turned the rudder; the boat moved to the front, but it quickly spun before heading to Portorosso; unfortunately, the fins were getting closer.

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Don't give the farmer his fun, fun, fun

He'll get by without his rabbit pie

So run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

The monster was fast, as it was quickly catching up with them.

"FASTER!" Screamed Giacomo, looking behind his back.

"I CAN'T!" Cried Tomaso, they were going at full speed.

The creature raised its head, peeking out of the water; it looked directly at them and opened its mouth, then closed it. 

"IT WANTS TO EAT US!" Tomaso yelled, "IT WANTS TO EAT US!"

The creature continually opened and closed its mouth, trying to bite the boat, and it was closing on them; it would be over them in no time.

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Bang, bang, bang, bang goes the farmer's gun

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run, run

A few inches were the distance apart; Giacomo looked desperately in every direction for something to defend themselves. The monster was getting closer, and the man could notice the jaws of that nightmare: sharp and long shark like teeth were waiting for them. Without a second thought, Giacomo began to throw every box, tool, and rope he could find; everything hit the monster in the nose, but nothing happened; the creature moved forward as nothing. 

Defeated, Giacomo backed to the cabin; they were gonna die.

But Tomaso had his eyes up front; he could see the beach, they were almost home. Maybe with the help of the entire town, they could defeat that demon.

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Don't give the farmer his fun, fun, fun

He'll get by without his rabbit pie

So run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

The boat finally reached the port, and both men got out as fast as they could and ran up the stairs to the  plaza . On their way, they hit the gramophone, and it fell, making the song stuck:

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run

Behind them, they could hear that creature move through the water.

Once they reached the place, they noticed that many of the townsfolk had gathered there; many were in their pajamas with lanterns in hand, looking confused and scared. One of them was Viola herself; when she saw her father and husband, she sighed in relief but quickly passed when she saw their faces.

"Dad? Giacomo? What's going on? There was an earthquake, and then we heard something; it was almost as..."

But she couldn't finish as Giacomo grabbed her by the arms.

"WE NEED TO RUN!" He yelled.

She looked at him as if he was crazy, but another shake was felt.

CRASH!

The song stopped; many screams of terror were heard as everybody shook to the sides. 

"What's going on?!" Someone else screamed. 

"It is an earthquake?!" Another yelled.

"Alberto! Giulia! Luca! Has someone seen them?!"

Chaos began to take control of everybody, as no one knew what was happening. No one except for Tomaso, who looked at the beach.

"There!" He screamed as he pointed towards the sea.

Everybody looked in that direction, where the monster had already arrived; all the lights were put on, and the creature roared, causing a burst of screams. 

Many couldn't hold themselves and fell, while others grabbed their children and began to run uphill; the creature looked down at them and shrieked again, then stopped and looked at its throat, taking boat hands to it. He shouted again and again, almost looking desperate. But no one noticed this as many fled the scene or were looking for weapons.

The creature roared one more time before setting foot on the  plaza , opening a big hole in the ground; the earth shook, the windows of buildings broke, and many of those escaping plummeted.

"HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP US!"

"RUN! IT'S COMING THIS WAY!"

"IT'S ALIVE IT'S HUGE!"

The monster looked in all directions until it turned around, and the tail hit the shops  Trattoria Da Marina,  the  Bar Giotto,  and several other buildings, reducing them to pieces.

Part of the rubble flew in all directions, impacting the ground like missiles; some folks had to dodge the ruins to not be crushed. 

The creature opened his eyes, and he was surprised at what it had done. He grabbed the rubbish and threw it into the sea before looking over its shoulders; the Pescheria was behind it.

The monster smiled and began walking to the fish shop.

...

Massimo didn't know what was happening. That day had begun like any other; Luca and Giulia were back in town, and even Helena had come to visit for the summer. His nephew and daughter made the deliveries and helped at the Pescheria. Then Luca came to visit; when night fell, Alberto and Giulia asked him to spend the night at Luca's house. 

They agreed as it had happened a thousand times; they knew it was safe, and there was no reason to think otherwise.

But then, everything changed.

A few hours later, he was in the kitchen going on his finances when his wife told him she was heading to bed.

"You sure you don't wanna come?" Helena asked.

"I'll be there in a minute," Massimo responded without looking at her.

Helena rolled her eyes but smiled, the same old Massimo. She wished him good night when the earthquake started. 

Everything in the house moved up and down, the lights flickered, and the coins Massimo had over the table fell. Helena had to hold on to the wall to avoid falling. 

Massimo looked at her, but she just nodded; there was no reason to panic they just had to wait until it had passed.

The shaking ended, and they exchanged glances before running to hug each other.

"Let's not put our guard down," Massimo said once they departed, "there could still be an aftershock."

Helena nodded as they both exited the Pescheria. Out in the plaza, many were gathered looking in all directions with lights in their hands. There didn't seem to be any damage, and no one seemed injured, fortunately, it had only been the scare.

Pietrina, the young lady who used to mind the shop on weekdays, noticed the Marcovaldos and smiled, then walked to them.

"Signor and Signora Marcovaldo! Thank God you're safe!"

"Thank you, Pietrina, we're glad you're also safe. What about your parents?"

"They are all fine as well, thank you for asking," she then looked to both sides, "what was that?" 

"An earthquake, but that's weird, it has never trembled here before."

Pietrina opened her mouth to speak but then shouted when  that  has heard.

BRRANNK!

Everyone fell silent; they had never heard anything like that. It made Helena so scared that she backed down and held Massimo´s hand.

"What was that noise?" 

"It sounded like an animal."

Helena looked at Massimo, but he denied it; he had lived all his life at sea, and in all those years, he had never heard anything like that; plus, the magnitude a beast needed to have to make a sound like that was massive, and animals of that size didn't inhabit those waters.

SMASH!

Something else broke, it sounded like bricks coming down. People screamed once again, the sound didn't come from town, so it would probably be coming from Isola del Mare. 

This made Massimo raise both eyebrows as he looked at Pietrina.

"Find your parents, stick together in case we need to evacuate."

The teenager nodded as she ran to find them, whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Massimo then looked at Helena.

"Go find shelter."

"What about you?"

"I need to find the kids and make sure they're safe."

Helena squeezed his hand harder.

"I'm coming with you!" She said, determined.

But he shook his head.

"The last we knew is they were at Luca's house, if they are underwater you can't come."

Helena was about to argue but shut up, he was right about that, she bit her lip before looking at him in the eyes.

"Please, be careful."

Massimo nodded, he was about to head to the beach as Helena asked if someone had seen the kids when that  thing  appeared.

Everybody was familiar with sea monsters by now; heck, Massimo had become one himself, and Ciccio and Ercole had experienced what it felt like to be one.

But nothing could have prepared anyone for what they saw.

This was a monster, not in the same sense they used it to refer to Luca and the other of his kind. No. This thing was a monster.

Its size and appearance were frightening, something that could only come out of the worst of nightmares. 

Even with all his bravery and strength, Massimo couldn't do much but stare at the demon. Until he felt the hand of his wife over his shoulder. Massimo looked at Helena, who had both eyes on that thing and was pale. That made him wake up; he needed to react and put his wife to safety before looking for the kids.

Then, he will try to defend the town from that monster and make sure Alberto, Giulia and Luca were safe.

He took Helena by one arm and began to pull her uphill, as the creature was advancing more into town. 

The creature's steps made the earth shake again, but they managed to hold on to their feet.

"Massimo!" Helena tried to complain as they climbed through a corridor, the same one where Luca and Alberto tried to escape Ercole.

"Run to the higher ground! I'll be right behind you!" He ordered.

"But..."

CRASH!

Some buildings collapsed at the tail's hit, and the rubbish was coming over them. Massimo opened his eyes and pushed himself and Helena to the ground, at the same time debris fell behind them, raising smoke. Helena screamed while Massimo peeked back at the Plaza; the monster was advancing towards the Pescheria.

Massimo raised both eyebrows.

"Not our house,"  he thought before letting go of Helena.

"Run! As far as you can!" He screamed as he ran back to the main street.  

Helena was about to protest, but then she heard more crying; she saw the other side of the street and noticed a small girl in tears hiding behind a barrel.

"Mommy! MOMMY!"  

Helena bit her lip; she reminded her of Giulia when she was little. She looked one more time in the direction Massimo had gone. 

He was a grown-up, and the best man she had ever met, so she decided to trust him. If someone could take on that monster, it was him, so she stood up and ran to that girl to take her in her arms.

"Don't be scared! We'll be alright! We'll be alright!" said as she caressed the little girl's back.

"SIGNORA MARCOVALDO!" Someone screamed.

Helena looked up and noticed Pietrina, covered in dust but with no injuries.

"This way! Come on!" She pointed up front.

Helena nodded as she began to climb again.

...

As Massimo entered the plaza, he looked at the monster; it was standing in front of the  Pescheria; it roared as it peaked with its head at the building.

Massimo made a fist.

He couldn't get inside the house for his harpoon with that monster watching over. 

"Massimo!" Someone yelled.

The fisherman looked to his right side and noticed Giacomo running in his direction, harpoon in hand.

He smiled; even if many had decided to get rid of their harpoons ever since sea monsters became welcomed into town, there were still those who kept them, Massimo being one of them. 

Just because sea monsters were friendly, that didn't mean all the creatures from the sea were, and they needed something to defend themselves. Even Daniela had agreed to this, and Massimo had gifted a harpoon, which came in handy when a squid attacked the community one time.

And now, they had to do the same.

Giacomo threw the weapon at him and Massimo caught it in the air; he smiled, and behind Giacomo many more men and women were coming with harpoons and nets.

"Go for the legs!" Massimo ordered, "We'll make him fall and then go for it's neck!" Cutting an animal's throat was the quickest way to bleed it out. 

Everybody nodded as they ran to the monster. 

The creature seemed disappointed at not finding anything at the  Pescheria, but the footsteps and screams made it look in their direction. Massimo could swear the creature landed eyes on him and...

Smiled.

As if it was happy to see him.

This made him stop to have a better look at it; the monster roared again as it turned its colossal body to face him, but then noticed the other presents with weapons in their hands.   

The smile melted, and the monster shook its head, trying to comprehend what was happening. 

Massimo couldn't decide what to do. Should he wait? Could this monster be... a different kind of sea monster? 

But how could it be so big? And where the hell had it come from?

Many things ran through his head, and Massimo couldn't decide how to proceed, but then, Signor Ferrando threw his harpoon.

The weapon went in a straight line until it hit the creature's leg, and it broke: the tip of the spear bent, pointing to the sky, and fell to the ground.

This made all stop and look at the harpoon, which was now useless; with eyes and mouths wide open, they all stared at the weapon and then looked at the monster.

The creature was also looking at the spear; it seemed he also didn't know how strong he was. Massimo could just stare at that. What was this thing? 

Giacomo screamed and threw his harpoon at the creature; it hit the monster in the stomach, but the result was the same, the harpoon broke and fell as a worthless item.

This made the creature curious; it leaned on both hands to lower his head and see the harpoon. 

"He's curious,"  Massimo thought; this made him realize that this wasn't a mindless beast. Whatever it was, it had some sense of comprehension of the situation. The monster raised his eyes and looked at Massimo; once again, it smiled and roared.

Massimo couldn't know what to do. Was this thing trying to communicate with him? But why? How? What in God's name was happening? 

But before Massimo could do anything, Signora Bruzzone stabbed the creature's eye with a harpoon; she somehow managed to sneak to the monster's side to hurt it. This had an effect as the weapon pierced the pupil and sank until the optic nerve. 

The monster howled in pain as it stood up and put both hands to its eye.

Massimo wide opened his eyes and dropped his harpoon; he wanted to say 'wait' to the others but didn't know why. Why did he have the urge to defend this beast that had come to destroy the town? 

The people began to shout in victory as they finally managed to hurt it, but then Massimo noticed something, being injured the creature was moving desperately to every side; it threw a blow into the air that ended up hitting the  Pescheria  and the neighboring building, destroying the second floors of both, making the humans yell in terror.

"NO!" Massimo screamed. 

As the others started to back away; starting to regret hurting it. 

The monster roared before rushing forward.

"DODGE!" Yelled Massimo before throwing himself to the ground, many more ran to the other side of the street, where the bar had once stood.

Unfortunately, Signora Bruzzone was very close to the monster when it started to run; the impact of his paw caused a wave that sent her flying, the woman screamed until she fell over the rubble.

"SIGNORA BRUZZONE!" Yelled Ferrando, he ran to help her, but in its desperate run, he got in the monster's way, the man could only open his eyes when the demon's enormous paw crushed him. Massimo opened his in terror when he saw the scene. When the beast raised his feet, Massimo noticed traces of organs and blood smeared on it.   

The monster hit the main building, where registrations for the Portorosso Cup took place, the monster crashed head first, then lifted it up before taking a large part of the building with it.

More debris fell, raising a cloud of smoke that only increased when the construction collapsed, all the presents covered themselves to prevent it from getting into their eyes.

After that... everything went silent.

Massimo stayed on the ground for a few moments, not knowing what else to do, he was dirty from head to toe, there was nothing around him but dust and debris, and some pieces of concrete had become embedded in his arm.

Slowly, he got up, looking around to see if there were any other survivors, but he could not see because of the smoke that surrounded him. It wasn't until a shadowy figure appeared in front that he stood up.

The figure advanced until he was out of the mist, and Massimo saw it was Giacomo, just as dirty as him, and with a pale death expression.

He looked at Massimo and opened his mouth, but no sound came out of it. The fisherman just nodded.

"Let's find the others."

Giacomo only nodded.

BRRANNK!

This put the two on alert, they turned to the side where the building had collapsed, the creature's enormous face came out of the fog above them, and they stared at it in terror.

Out of the mist, more and more people came, all with eyes on the creature, they backed away until they reached Massimo and Tomaso, forming a straight line. 

The monster still had the harpoon in its eye; he took a claw to it and then pulled the spear off. 

Everyone made faces of disgust at seeing such horror, the creature dropped the harpoon to the ground, still wailing as it did so, and then... the injured eye regenerated itself. 

Massimo couldn't believe what he saw, the only damage they caused him had disappeared, and he now had an eye just like the previous one.

The others lost hope when they saw this, as they fell to their knees and just stared at the imposing being that was now in front of them.

The creature opened and closed the regenerated eye, and then smiled, apparently, it worked like the previous one, after that, it looked at the ground and... seemed to get sad.

He looked around at the destruction he had caused and then fixed his eyes on the villagers lying at his feet. They were wounded, while Signora Bruzzone lay in rubble howling in pain, and Signor Ferrando had been reduced to a mush of blood and organs. 

The monster roared and then looked at its throat, it roared again in desperation. It closed its eyes and fists, gritted its teeth, and lowered its head. When it opened its eyes, the monster inspected its body, but nothing had changed.

It roared again and looked behind him; the tail was still there. 

The beast looked down once more, and Massimo could swear he laid eyes on him. The monster did not see him with hatred or fury but rather with pity and pain. What was happening? The monster let out a small scream, but apparently, it wasn't what it wanted, as it closed its eyes and began to move forward.

Everyone shouted as they moved out of the way of the creature, who did not stop until it reached the water; it submerged, leaving the dorsal fins out, until they disappeared into the sea.

[thelofian]

Diligent Daily Booster Table (TTCC DBT) for 2024-03-15, Gag Farming Friday, 📞 World Contact Day | 😴 World Sleep Day | 🗣️ World Speech Day | 📜 World Consumer Rights Day | 👩‍⚕️ World Essential Workers Day

[ruby-winchester24]

Stan Marsh Headcanons!

[sfw+nsfw] {fem reader}

he loves to watch you not in a weird way but will admire you as you do tasks

loves to drive around with you and listen to music

you guys smoke once and awhile

helped him get sober from alcohol

it was hard for him to get used to you and Eric being good friends

he hated Eric even more for a couple months

he loves too see you in your cheerleading uniform he thinks your so cute in it

Wendy was a bit jealous at first when you guys got together but eventually let it go

he loves when you wear skin tight clothes he loves your figure

always draws on your hand when he is bored

shows you new music all the time

at Kyle’s basketball games you guys are always the loudest in the student section

works out with you

loves when you play with his hair and style it

always walks around with his arm over your shoulder

prefers texting over calling because he can say whatever he wants without being too embarrassed

His parents love you!

Shelly was surprised that he bagged you but she thinks your cool asf and you guys hang out whenever Stan can’t

Randy always tries to hang out with you guys

Sharon literally adores you, she is so happy your in Stans life

family dinners on Friday every week

Randy always talks about the weed farm to you because your only the person that kinda listens to him

his love language is quality time

it took him a while to open up to you but when he did he couldn’t be more in love

has bad abandonment issues

is scared of love after what happened with Wendy

PDA is ok only a peck on the lips and a hug

loves when you play with his hair

not really a jealous person unless they are intentionally hitting on you

he really likes to spoon, usually he is big spoon

loves how you laugh it’s music to his ears

likes to be read too

finds it so cute when you wear his beanie

he really likes to brush your hair, he doesn’t really know why but he finds it so relaxing

always gets nervous when you come to his football games, he wants to impress you

his football pads always smell bad and he intentionally leaves them in your car too tick you off🙃

grazes his finger over your lips before you guys kiss

holds you by the waist while walking

during the summer you and Stan have dates at Starks pond and swim

you gave him a stick and poke, it was a smiley face

makes you watch his shows

he only listens to your constructive criticism

loves when toy make him friendship bracelets will wear them all the time

always drinks out of your water bottle at school

takes you too school and drops you off at your house after

looks into your eyes

tries his best to complement you everyday

copies your homework

has a drawer full of your clothes

you guys have a stuffed animal baby

Eric tried to kill your baby

“ERIC I SWEAR TO GOD GIVE HIM BACK!”

“SCREW YOU”

likes country music but just a bit

always holds your hand, usually holds your hand under the desks at school

NSFW!!

adores lingerie on you, loves how perfect your body is

he slowly takes it off to tease you

loves giving you hickies, usually he does on your boobs and thighs

music in the background always

mostly dominant, he loves when you take over and ride him

7 inches

he has a beautiful body, he has a 6 pack but it’s not that prominent

has a sleeper build low key

daddy long legs literally

he also asked Kenny for advice

his fingers are really long so yk what’s up

his hair always falls into his face during s*x

edges you until your brain is mush

low key a head pusher

one of his kinks is womb flooding but he doesn’t want to get you pregnant yet

gags and blindfolds are one of his favorites

loves it when you sit on his face

total ass guy will never stop touching it

loves when you beg too cum

doggy style is his favorite position because he can see your ass recoil when he slams into you

holds your hands behind your back

if your in missionary he will take your legs over his shoulders so he can go deeper

he will mostly make eye contact with you or he will be looking at his dick going in and out of you

he doesn’t moan that loud but he does grunt a lot

16 minutes usually

he mostly likes just one round or if you go for round 2 it would have to be spaced out, he gets tired quick

kisses you everywhere

if you didn’t cum the when you guys had sex he will go down on you

loves to use a vibrator on you

slaps your ass so hard it leaves bruises

doesn’t really have much girth but his length makes up for it

“your such a good slut for me”

“only i can fuck you like this, no one else. your all mine”

“so wet for me already, little slut”

“such a pretty slut, just for me”

i think you get it that he likes to degrade you a little

mirror sex is also one of his favorites, he loves too see your face when you cum all over his cock

aftercare was hard to understand at fist but he picked it up quick

kisses your face so much

he offers to take a bath with you after so your all clean

washes your body

dresses you after if you want your clothes back on

gets you a glass of water always and a granola bar

plays with your hair until you fall asleep he wants you too rest

“i love you so much baby nothing will change that”

[stardewremixed]

Random headcanon

*Harvey enjoys reading Shakespeare. I think he and Elliott would be good friends.

*Elliott stares off into the river on the bridge because he thinks bridges are romantic and he needs inspiration for his Gothic romance novel.

*Alex drinks Gatorade constantly.

*Demetrius refuses to turn on the A/C in the summer because he's worried about his work papers fluttering away and ending up on the floor. His family has to sweat it out or use localized fans. Seb doesn't care. The basement is pretty cool.

*Gus donates food to the local shelter and soup kitchen.

*Haley goes shopping in Zuzu City frequently once access to the train is repaired. She is not a bus girl. Haley would do more online shopping if her internet didn't crash so often. She regularly calls Sebastian to come fix it. He obliges only because it's a gig and makes him gold but he is secretly starting to like her a bit. She doesn't find him that bad either.

*Sam used to cloud gaze with Granny Evelyn. He talks to Harvey about getting a better prescription so she can see the clouds again. He means well, but of course, doctor-patient confidentiality prevents Harvey from saying anything. He might just suggest it though in Evelyn's next check-up. ❤☁️

*Lewis wanted to be on a cooking competition show when he was younger. That's why he's so adamant about the soup being perfect for the Governor during the luau.

*Evelyn used to collect seashells with her little girl (Alex's mom). It's too painful, both emotionally and physically to do it now. But during the luau she let's herself dream a little and remembers her daughter.

*Robin is the unofficial town tourism board. Mayor Lewis always ropes her into meeting newcomers when they arrive. She is friendly and personable and a good fit for this role. I imagine she traveled frequently when she was younger and that's how she met Demetrius.

*Abigail plays World of Warcraft and Elder Scrolls Online. She has an epic high level character in both, even higher than Sebastian.

*Jas enjoys playing hide and seek with Shane and Marnie, but hates it when Mayor Lewis does. He's terrible at hiding, and he always sneezes and gives away his place.

*Post-recovery Shane likes to take naps in the Farmer's field on sunny days.

*Sam's allergies make him a poor farm companion, but he does wonders in sprucing up the cabin. If married, he would even create a little music room for himself and their kids.

*Marnie enjoys working out once a week at Caroline's. It helps with her body confidence. She is hoping to convince Pam to join sometime.

*Pam was married to a sailor at one point. He left her soon after Penny was born, going to procure diapers and he never returned.

*The witch used her memory erasing technique on the Wizard, her ex-husband to make him forger who his child is in SDV.

*Caroline once considered getting a health coach certification but worried the classes would take her away from raising Abigail properly.

*Pierre is a workaholic, but he allows himself to unwind at Stardrop every Friday evening. He wishes Caroline would join him, but she's not a night owl.

*Gunther is allergic to peppers. He hates spicy food. Tacos literally make him gag.

*Penny relates better to children than adults. She is a painfully shy introvert and she had a speech impediment as a child. She used a puppet to help communicate.

*Jas also had delayed communications, and Vincent is showing early signs of ADHD.

*Emily and her best friend, Sandy grew up doing everything together before moving to the Desert. They swam in the Gem Sea, they played pirates and nobles in the Cindersap Forest, and they collected gems in the quarry. They always invited Haley to join but Haley refused since she didn't like the more active gameplay. When Sandy moved away, Haley was secretly glad hoping Emily would finally spend more time with her.

*Leah loves making fresh salads. When she lived in the city, she would visit the Farmer's Market near daily.

*Maru wonders what life in space would be like. Her scientific and rational brain tells her she could never be an astronaut because of her poor eyesight and low stamina, but that doesn't stop her from dreaming.

[brockevandunn]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8uMcXnV/

Oh I was living my best life while seeing Nicki. I had a blast and she put on a show. This was my first time seeing her and it for sure won't be the last. I have loved her since 2009 when I heard two classmates rapping itty bitty piggy. I have always loved female rap since I was young and there was no one popping off at that time then Nicki came to save female rap. It was such an emotional moment. ❤️

[ms-neens]

James May, Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond in "Come what May!"

My longest comic about the Grand Tour so far ～♡ This time Jeremy, James and Hammond head off to Britain’s number one car show! Sadly heavy traffic and certain weather conditions give them a rough time on the road...but thank goodness it’s Friday!  *✦.°

All paintings, story and text by me (February 2022 - October 2022)

Thank you very much for reading and I hope, as always, I could make you smile with it! ♥︎  This comic will be released as a real book together with my “The Long Way Home“ comic, my “Scandi Flick“ poster, more single artworks of the trio and a bit more in 2023! Please stay tuned if you want a copy of the book for yourself! ♥︎ I’d like to add the pre-release cover as well:

A few words by the author (yeah, that’s me): This time my goal was to write/create/draw a sweet, funny, and heartwarming comic about the trio focused on a simple car ride. In typical fashion of all the comics I do, you won’t find any action based scenes or rude stuff (also I’m no native speaker, but you shouldn’t notice that while reading!). As a result the trio acts a lot nicer and definitely more helpful than in real Grand Tour episodes. The three guys have a super big place in my heart ♡ and because of that, once again, all I could create is something cute and adorable (I could never be mean to them!). Also not everything can be accurate, I have never been to James’s Pub, the Diddly Squat Farm Shop, inside Jeremy’s car or at a car show myself. I had a few reference photos, but 90% of this comic is drawn by memory and how I imagine environments. Anyway, I still hope that I got everyone in character, recognisable and enjoyable for you to look at! Stuff you might have missed:

On the outside of Jeremy’s farm shop you can spot Sansa and Arya, who were puppies when I started working on this comic, so I kept them that way…I am always happy when I spot a photo of the two on Jeremy’s Instagram! ♥︎

Actually everything in that comic takes part in the past, as I was working on it way too long...

Jeremy explains that it’s lucky to turn right at the start of a journey. Of course it’s from the Grand Tour Mongolia Special.

The numberplate on Jezza’s car is a pun on "Jeremy Clarkson 1 Diddly Squat Farm", in case you haven’t already noticed. I thought that’s funny.

James talks about fish finger sandwiches, he posted about them on his Twitter and FoodTribe accounts several times in the past and it’s a really nice and easy dish I like to eat as well!

The CDs in Jeremy’s glovebox are "Supertramp - Crime of the Century", "Yes - The Yes Album", "The Who - Who’s Next", "Genesis - Seconds Out", some album by Eric Clapton you cannot read and "Pink Floyd - The Dark Side of the Moon". Despite my age, these are all albums and bands I absolutely love and I think he does as well. ～♡

I had to make something up for the broken air conditioning, something like that is always happening on their journeys (especially in James’s cars!). I’m sure after the events of the comic, it was completely fine again! ^◡^

They always take photos of themselves sleeping and post it somewhere online, this time it was my chance to draw a scene of that! I enjoyed working on that one! Hehehehe...

Jeremy and James’s painful high-five I got from the Grand Tour Colombia Special

In James’s Pub Hammond gets served Spag Bol (yeah, I have this from "Oh Cook!") and Jeremy ordered the infamous fish pie. The reason why I’ve chosen two different meals is that Richard doesn’t like fish, a running gag I keep constant in all of my comics. Also it can be taken as a reference to "The Perfect Road Trip".

James’s apron I spotted in "Lochdown", I think it really suits him! ♥︎

And this time there’s even a moral of the story: Don’t drink and drive!

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#246

“Here boy. I know who and what you are. Do you know who I am?… Liar. You’re a faggot liar. Yes you do. You have been drooling over me for weeks now. Follow me. I got us a room at the motel next door….

“The regulars here at the diner don’t care that I prefer fucking faggots like you over broads. I just don’t broadcast it like you do. I’ve seen you talking to some of the boys I have fucked. You know I have a big dick and that I pile drive boy cunt.

“I’ve seen you in the parking lot. You watch the guys like me going into the bookstore across the lot. You want to follow them in, but the bookstore won’t let you. They know you’re underage. Until today. Now you are legal to fuck. Yeah, I know your 18th birthday is today. I know a lot of things about you. I know you cruise the bookstore, and the bathroom the bar shares with the diner. I know you are finishing up at high school.

“Here’s our room. I fuck the owner and he let’s me use a secluded empty room whenever I need. So, you can scream when I tear up your cunt. Having a big dick has many many many advantages. I need to let off some steam from a long day on the farm. Get naked, I’m gonna get the ropes out. My reputation is well known that I am a twisted fucker. Hell my conquests told you the such, and yet you came with me here.

“Always remember this, I am always in control of everything. Right now, that includes you. Naked. And then get on your knees and face me. See, it’s natural for you to follow orders. And where’s your phone?… Hand it to me…. Continue stripping. Well,… You’re kinda scrawny. You’ve never worked a hard day at anything, and it shows. Damn your pecker is tiny. That’s the way I like it. My cock is fucking huge, and you need to realize your place is on your knees in front of real men. You will never be a real man. You do know that, right?…

“You know what I want you to do. I want you to beg me to fuck you. I want you to beg me to brutalize your cunt. And while you are begging me and degrading and humiliating yourself, I will be jacking off to you. Having a big dick requires a little extra tugging to get hard. I know you wouldn’t know anything about that. You are too focused on your cunt. And call it a cunt a number of times, especially when you are fingering it. I want you to tell me that you need for me to rape you. Your goal is to degrade yourself. Tell me how much of a faggot you are. And focus on your tiny clit there. Tell me how you envy any real man with a real sized dick. And the thing I need for you to beg me to rape you—not have sex, not make love—rape. Use that word often.

“Here look up at me, at your phone. Thanks for letting me use your face to unlock it. I will be recording this on your phone. I want you to have a record of how low you are. I want you to watch this every morning as you are about to jack off at home. Speaking of jacking off, I should take my cock out for you. Damn, even totally limp, it’s way bigger than yours hard.

“You have three minutes to fully degrade yourself. Go!…

“…That’s time. Ok. See how big you got me? The full nine and a half inch dick, ready to rape the hell out of you. Crawl over here and blow me, but first put on this blindfold. I don’t want you to see anything. Good, now show me how good you are as a faggot cocksucker. Throat me to the nut. Put as much spit on it as you can. That’s pretty much the lube I will be using to tear your cunt up. Maybe if you are good, I will use some spit on the cunt. Take your time, but throat me. Get into it faggot. I’m gonna chill here… Open that fucking throat… Gag on that monster….

“You really are pathetic. Get your ass on the bed, face down. Need to tie you down. What? Now you want out? Aww hell the fuck no. I said on the fucking bed. Ok. You really want this to be a rape don’t you? Look I know my way around ropes and tying up livestock. I do work in a farm, and I am a part of the local rodeo. Calling out for help ain’t going to help.

“And, I sent myself a copy of that video where you are begging me to rape you and to show you no mercy. Nobody will believe you. Just a few more seconds, and there! You ain’t going nowhere now. You are going to be in that position for some time. Your cunt is on display, ready to be mounted.

“But first, I’m going to fuckin’ welt you up. I got my son’s belt here; mine doesn’t move through the air as nicely as his, and besides I’m still wearing mine. You don’t even deserve me stripping for you. When it comes to whipping, I don’t stop to let you recover.

“Being your birthday, It’s eighteen strokes in a row. Start your fucking screaming now. One, two, three,… louder fucker, you deserve every one of these strokes… Eight, nine, ten,… I can already see the welts forming. Oh yeah, bright red cheeks get me leaking. When I hit number twenty-five, I’m going right to the root whether or not you are ready. And it’s not going to take me very long to nut in you. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, and… eighteen.

“Quit your crying faggot. Here, bite down on my son’s belt. You really have me leaking here. And… all the way in. Fuck yes! This cunt hasn’t been fucked much, has it? Stop your screaming, I asked you a fucking question. You get fucked much?… No?… Wait, that was a cherry pop? Oh fuck yeah. I’m close to giving you some cream to go on your cherry pie. Oh yeah. Fuck. Take it bitch. Feel my load fill you up. Faggot.

“That’s what you have to look forward to for the next few days. Oh man, fuck. I’m gonna lay here for a while. Watch your head, my cigar is only an inch or two from your cheek. I don’t want to brand you,… well at least not yet. Let go of the belt. Holy shit. You really did bite down hard. I can’t wait to give this back to him and tell him how the teethmarks came about.

“Oh yeah, he knows I’m gay. He doesn’t care. He’s totally straight, and I mean totally straight. Now just lay there; you ain’t going anywhere. But I want you to hear this. Yeah, I kept my sex life away from him until one day when he walked in on me fisting his math teacher, Mr. Gunter.

“Oh yeah, he goes to the same high school as you. He too is ready to graduate. You know him, oh yes you do. You’ve been texting him all year, ever since he transferred to your school. You were not very nice to him. In fact, you and a few of your friends beat him up. And what reason did you have for giving him a black eye?… Don’t remember? You called him a faggot. You told your friends that he hit on you in gym class. Talk about projecting.

“When he came home suspended for fighting and with a black eye, I wanted details. He gave me your name and showed me your pic in the yearbook. And wouldn’t you know, I recognized you from your attempted bookstore runs. A week later you start hanging around the diner. You couldn’t get into the bar area, but you sat every Friday afternoon in that same spot in my line of vision, pretending to read that book while groping yourself. So subtle.

“I had your background run by a this cop I regularly fuck. He told me a shitload about you. He’s the one that informed the bookstore across the street that you were underage. There’s a boy—a year older than you—that I fuck who is a Facebook friend of yours showed me your wall. I got to go through every word you wrote while he was giving me head. And unlike you, he knows how to deep throat. Again, having a big dick has its advantages.

“And about that time, you and my son were suspended, you posted a viral video of a bullied kid getting revenge on the bully by sleeping with the bully’s mom. And your comment was something like, ‘Best served cold.’

“Funny thing is, I’m out. While I don’t broadcast it in this tiny town, but I don’t hide it. My son and ex-wife know. The ranch I work at knows. Hell, the main reason how I got the job was that I fucked the owner and told him that I was looking for a job. The guys at the bar all know. So how were you going to humiliate my son? He probably would say, ‘He fucked you? You ain’t the first, you won’t be the last.’ or something like that.

“So, what’s happening next for you? Certainly not humiliating my son. No, for you, I have plans. I’m gonna fuck you again. I’ll leave you tied up. The motel is going to get full later on tonight, mostly truckers. I’ve let the motel owner and the guy that works the bookstore that you are here ready for all horny truckers.

“Tomorrow, I’m going to pass you over to this biker club one of my friends is a member of. He already set up something really nasty for you. The gang already knows what a piece of shit you are. They can’t wait to get their hands on you, and I can’t wait to hear all about it. By the end of the weekend, your cunt will be destroyed. I will give you two black eyes to make up for the one you gave my boy. Most likely your hair will be removed. You are going to be beaten. Hell, my cop buddy is a former boxer. He’s going to string you up and use you as a punching bag.

“And in the end,… I will decide if you keep your balls. Wow. That’s the first time you have flinched while lying under me. Aw, shut up. I work with livestock every day. I know how to castrate a bull. I haven’t decided about you. Just keep that in mind throughout the weekend. You complain or resist, your balls will be in jeopardy.

“You probably won’t see much of me. But I will you. I have it arranged to have it all filmed for me. I expect to see a cum hungry faggot whore knowing his place of being used by real men. Your balls will depend on it. For me, I’m going to be with my son doing dad things.

“And I don’t plan on letting him in to the fact that you are a faggot whore lookin to get raped seeing, he already knows. How do I know? I text him, while you were trying to give me head. I wrote, from your phone, ‘I have to get this off my chest. I am a faggot whore. I can’t live in the closet anymore. Please share this video.’

“Then I sent him your video. While you are going to be in a living hell for the next four days, you won’t be able to stop him or anyone from finding out. This is how I want it. As I said before, I am always in control of everything. Oh, and happy birthday.”