#GOD IF THIS AINT THE TRUTH THO

[nobuverse]

@kiicho​

@nobuverse Nobunaga anytime Kichō is away from her.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

guys i thought pregnant charles xavier was a joke…………………………

well you know what they say about jokes

[mrstsung]

Shang tsung has BEEN sexy. Always has been

Y'all just late to the game.

I mean 30+yrs of games. You got a lot of material to work with.

Like come on

I mean come on people.

Young,old,beard,no beard. Shang has it all.

He's cunning,scary intelligent,handsome. Funny. Has humble origins(could be written a bit better and less yikes by NRS but ya know) like you feel bad for shang regardless of his predicament. Because being cursed to take the life force of others for eternity because some salty bitch didn't want you to be "better" than him. Never to embrace death or fully feel life. Stuck in a limbo. Have all the powers of a god yet denied any clearance. Have all the ambitions of a emperor and ruler yet desire none of triviality of it all. Only the security and safety of it. Desire nothing more than what you feel you deserve,and that grows day by day through the trials of kombat. Day in and day out you fight for your life for crumbs.

How can anyone not feel for shang? At least nowadays.

Like they gave him something more than "evil bad guy to beat up" yet expect people to still go the status quo when they want us too. How can you root for anyone who sides with earthrealm or any of the supposed "good guys" anymore?

But anyways. Yeah shang tsung deserves better treatment than him being sexy in looks. Tho he is definitely *meow* deliciously cold Blooded.

He is sexy because he is complex. Because he's not afraid to go after what he wants. He's cautious(and more so as time goes on,as he gets a lil bit wiser tho not much changes overall. He's still a lil cheeky shit and stuck in survival mode. Oof). shang tsung is sexy because he's a bad guy with standards. Twisted sense of honor,he stands for himself. Because nobody else will.

See liu kang,in this new "timeline" if you gave him friendship or friends. Ya know genuinely a happy fucking life. And not put edanians on a pedestal because you wanted kitana puss puss so damn bad. Maybe you could have avoided all of that! Ya know maybe kung lao,raiden,and shang could have been the "deadly alliance" you needed. But noooooooo! Pusshy and looking good for these god/titans was more important?! Fuck off.

Dark raiden would have decimated you on spot for that bullshit.

And i would have laughed. This new liu kang is a joke. Fr. (Tbh the whole damn thing has become a joke but eh)

Shang tsung is once again the only thing keeping this dead horse alive,look me dead in the eyes and tell me he aint!? It's the truth and i know it,and y'all know it. And even then that will wear out in time. Even then it's not the BEST shang tsung(storywise)and Alan Lee's voice and performance is what made this enjoyable. Mr lee is too damn nice for this shit. Luv ya man but yeah. Still would love to see more of shang tsung being actually treated with respect and not with nostalgia bait clouding the writing devs minds. But people who actually love complex villains or morally grey characters.

Anyways. We love this sorcerer. But he deserves better than that.

BY FANS AND GAME DEVS ALIKE!

💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚

More kontent soon. Sorry for the smol hiatus.

[pumpkinsy0]

y’know i think curlys gotta absolutely reek most of the time

i know his ass barely makes it to the shower and he seems like the “water gets me clean” type. always sweating and grimy from god knows what. the smell of weed and alcohol sticks to his clothes bc he just throws his clothes on the floor and his room is a biohazard. i just KNOW he uses those god awful cheap colognes right on top of that funk. more modern curly abuses some AXE.

there just aint no way he smells good on the average day

AIGHT NOW I GOTTA DEFEND CURLY🙄🙄🙄

i dont think he STINKS, but he doesnt smell particularly good either, i dont think any of the guy greasers do except for like, maybe soda and tim, mostly soda tho tim doesnt smell like anything extraordinarily good but his circumstances specifically help him smell a lil more than decent on an average day

they sweat a bit but some r more active than others and the products they have r cheap in general, some shower more often than others do, but i dont think they just straight up REEK, they have to pick up PRETTY WOMEN!!!! after all

when it comes to curly, i do think he showers w WATER and SOAP and w a RAG bc hes from HAITI and thats just common practice to do w a rag, BUT there is some truth to what u said, he does end up smelling kinda grimey when he gets home, but on an average day its more like a “why the hell do u smell like that” more than an “ew u stink”, he smells like outside, weed, smallest hint of tims cheap ass cologne he stole, maybe some sweat sometimes if he JUST got from a fight, its an odd combo. but i would say he would stink more so bc what he uses is cheap soap that fucking sucks and its probably a 13 in 1 than him just being flat out dirty</333

and he does have clothes on his floor!!plus, modern curly at some point wouldve abused axe fr LMAOOO

[thenixkat]

Poking around with Kingdom Come. The Spectre…is naked under that cloak in this

also lots of Christian theming biblical shit that I dont care for very the future has gone to shit b/c there's so many metas now and fighting everywhere and yet again the Spectre aint gonna do shit for dick except watch shit go down

is Wonder Woman not wearing anything under that cloth? what is the lasso attached to?

she is not wearing anything under that cloth. well someone's gonna get flashed by Wonder Woman

Superman abandoned humanity for 10 yrs b/c his parents and Lois died. SOmeone's a sad lad who apparently doesnt like anyone else he knows enough to stick around

Huh Captain Atom and Judo Master are still around and active in this 'all of the modern heroes are old and their kids and grandkids are making teh world a worse place' au. But that makes sense Judo Master is immortal due to his religion and Captain Atom is a human shaped energy being

Peacemaker is still around too tho that could be a new person in the outfit given the Peacemakers are an organization apparently one of the reasons that the world is going to shit is because the metas of now dont have the 'morals' of their predecessors and just fight to fight not uphold truth and justice

and totally down with relentlessly attacking senior citizen villains b/c we all know the heroes of yesteryear werent blood thirsty bastards willing to throw hands at any provocation.

And they totally listened every time that the people they decided to attack were trying to tell them they didnt want to fight or that they surrendered we totally know that Superman never ever beat the shit out of someone without listening to what they were trying to say. never

and also several of the heroes in this news story are contemporaries of Superman's generation like Captain Atom and Judomaster

oh hey, sure lets kill off Captain Atom by having this energy being being unintelligent enough to get close to the Parasite known for consuming energy

oh hey the Midwest is befucked b/c Captain Atom blew up

which has always been a risk of having a nuclear powered superhero out fighting fuckers with only one level of containment suit if only yall knew some magic fuckers who could collects all of the radiation and put it someone else/do something with it. But DC isnt gonna let the magic fuckers do shit even tho they could

oh yay~! this is one of those things that insists that Superman is the face and leader of all the superheroes and without him there's no moral guidance b/c Superman's the center of the fucking universe and there's no other paragons as good as him. Fucking gag

Hera's might keeping Wonder Woman from flashing the audience in this outfit

i've mentioned how much I hate the SUperman is the bestest ever stories? And part of my dislike for him comes from shit like this just as much as my hatred for Batman comes from shit that makes him the absolute bestest ever.

apparently, Hawkman is an environmental terrorist and good for him so long as he isnt being park ranger racist and acting like the local Indigenous people have no right to manage their lands

why the fuck would the gods give a singular shit about some fucking mortal (Superman) retiring? Why would the Atlantians or the Amazons just go into seclusion just because some sad fuck decided to retire?

speaking of Christ metaphor the opening pages of this issue were like reading scripture and a dude having visions of the end of teh world being due to Superman and Batman fighting and the dude teh SPectre picked up is a preacher

Batman keeps his city under control with his army of mechas and his habit of running out metas from Gotham if they wont bow to him

because the old guard didnt cause massive collateral damage or listened to fuckers they decided to attack surrendering and look just look at that cover

just that this story as saying that these new kids are litterally any different than the old guard is wild. Cause I've read fucking comics

Superman has had episodes of being a jackass throughout his superhero career, mostly golden and silver age stuff Batman's been a borderline fascist who tortures people and refuses to use his money to actually improve Gotham or take down the corrupt police force for decades Hal Jordan became a villain at one point and murdered most of the Green Lanterns to take their power rings to become a near reality warping threat superheroes have been caused or unable to prevent calamities when fighting supervillains for ages this Kingdom Come is from the mid 90s? Yeah its in reaction to the first dark age of superheroes happening at the time. Some old ass fuck going 'back in my day superheroes were awesome and stood for something, now everything is so violent and commercialized'

[da-gamingojichan]

welcome to my twisted ankle.

(picture above is not mine unfortunately)

i am DA gaming oji chan (from minecraft because hypixel forced me to change my username from dilf_hunter420 <\3). Heres my awezome information

- ITAGER FOR FUCKING EVER!!!!!! THEY ARE TRUTH

- TRANS SEME ITALY TRUTHER (still draw him with a penis sometimes tho lol cuz i love penis. but know that im lying when I do that just like how im lying when i draw itager fucking because they dont. dey married but dont fuck)

- member of the church of girlcock of latterday saints

- FUTA IS WHEN THERES BOTH GENITALS. IF BOTH AINT THERE THATS JUST A TRANS PERSON!!!!!!!!

- femsub is the antichrist i only believe in GBL you will Never. Ever. see BGL. if everyone loves BGL then that means i have passed away i will always hate that shit it is against gods will for a woman to be penetrated and dominated by a man

- i only believe in sex with love (no shade if others rock without love. but i dont make content of people that dont have love)

- i have a true love fetish and marriage kink and also love vanilla and saying i love you during sex i always draw hearts

- theres nothing more seme than being transgender AMEN!

- audreyhunniepop is my bro's alias since he's too shy to be named directly but uh. you all probably know exactly who he is lol. anyways da-gamingojichan is where his nsfw will be posted on his behalf too because maiboisalidelshai ^_^ just know thats who im referring to whenever i talk about audreyhunniepop

100 THRUSTS 100 FUCKS 100 SUCKS AND A 10 HOUR GOONING SESSION EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!

oke das about it. im hashtag shy so erm. i dont think ill write big long sex scenarios and stuff because thats embarassing. but feel free to send me anything in my inbox YAY!

ROBOOTY SEX SECRET RECIPE: a cup of consent + a spoonful of awezome and a whole lotta love!

[asahicore]

hi!!!!!!!!! hello, im actually so excited to write this cuz ive just read “our secret moments” and aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, first thing, ive to say is i remeber recommending dress by tswift as a perfect song for this AND OMG u did use it <3 im so happy !!!!

okay, but lets get down to business!!

1.i loved that we got an inside on heeseung and what he has been up to!! it was really wholesome to read his own “figuring out i like my sisters best friend”, it was so cute and his overall makeover - that was fun to read!! also the bit of him meeting jake lmaoo that made me laugh ^^ i can totally see that !!!

2.the "lets avoid him" trope was what i expected and it was exceeded perfectly !! like yes!! thank u !! also chaeyeong seeing right THROUGH yn was amazing, yeah gurl u aint slick !!! but thanks for making the dumbass (yn) confront hee tho!!! bless!!!

3. PLEASE THE WHOLE MOVIE NIGHT STUFF??????? i giggled and kicked my feet like a little girl, omg, it was so amazingly written i could feel everything !!!every heart fluttering moment was described so well!!! I WAS AMAZED!!! and hooked on the story even more!!!!! their talk “so dont” 2eojiwfndwqdsjekwdsnjfsd making out in the kitchen was a superior scene!!!!

4. their "sneaking around" was also so well narrated!!! car is THE SPOT !!! omg and the star gazing :((( making out in the backseat tho 🤭🤭🤭

5. the pool party tho………consider me dead cuz it was so good, I LOVED THAT SCENE too, i mean..shirtless hee?? being playful in the pool? making heart eyes?? going on the slide with yn? kissing her THIGH?? MAMMA MIA !! :OO, toooooooooooo goooooooooooood 

6. ngl the fact that yn didnt tell Seeun the truth when she asked had me "oh NOO this is bad innit?" i knew this was not gonna end well whyyyyyy, i mean i get why cuz she was scared BUT :(((( 

7. and for the BIGGEST JAW DROPPING MOMENT OF THE FIC WHICH I READ LIKE THIS :OOOO,  the bedroom/shower scene HOLY FATHER AND THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!!! I ASCENDED… the dry humping  was so fucking hot,i mean , the idea itself BUT THE WAY U WROTE IT i was wowed and also they were so cute and heeseung IS THE BIGEEST SIMP EVER in a good way like his thoughts on not knowing what to do but doing what makes yn feel good……………………….god me when!!! REALLY IT WAS AMAZING!! THE SHOWER THO like i melted cuz of the whole "we can stay in our swim suit bby" was so adorable :((  AND THEY ACCIDENTAL I LOVE U I DIED I WAS NOT READY AND THEN IT GOT SO STEAMY??????????? HELLO??? I DIED SO MANY TIMES ALREADY LORD (emma) HAVE MERCY, it was too good, I swear to god them just wanting to make the other person feel good was and is the hottest concept and u made it CHIEF'S KISSES!!!!!! doll >>>>>>>>> ,

8. and then they were cuties again :(((( the morning scene had me melting i'm literally a puddle of fluff on the floor !!! let me walk u to the door and kiss u goodbye OH THIS IS NOT GOOOD GUYS !!! ABORT ABORT!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. ,............................ Seeun :(((( please the last scene broke my heart even though i know it was gonna happen, im so sad mann, i hope they gonna figure it out cuz if this has a sad ending then i will still read but my heart would never recover ANYWAY the way hee grabbed her but she just push him ->>>> emotional damage

UFFFFFFFFFFFF, THIS WAS 24K WORDS OF PURE MASTERPIECE, I ENJOYED EVERY BIT OF THIS, THANK U THANK U!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 It was so with the wait !!!! i'm so seriously in love with this !!! thank u sm for the time and work and everything that put into this it was MESMERIZING!!! the details and descriptions emma. ure insane, i swear u just so amazing!!! kissing ur brain URE THE BEST What the frick

emma i love u!! this made my weekend, i hope u gonna have a great week <3333 all the best ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

ps. this is so long im sorry :>

ANOOOOOOON !!!!! dont apologize omg receiving asks like these are the absolute best, i was smiling like an idiot and punching my pillows reading this thank you so so much !!! and omg thank you again for the song rec, it went so perfectly with the story!!

im glad u liked heeseung's part!! since gorgeous was all in reader's pov i thought it'd be nice to see how heeseung was feeling and have his backstory and all that... and yes jake hahaha he was really fun to write about

no cause thank god for chaeyeong otherwise these two idiots would probably still be stuck in their awkward phase 😭

AAAH movie night scene omg im so happy u enjoyed it !! i had kind of a hard time writing it cause i felt like it needed a lot of tiny details ugh so reading this is such a relief!! same for the pool party at first i had noooo idea how i was gonna write it lmao

im so glad u liked the smut part omg for some reason these are the scenes im always most unsure of !! but yeah these two are so sweet like they just want to make the other happy BUT AAAAH TY SO SO MUCH IM SO GLAD IT MADE U REACT THAT WAY 😭😭

and ikkkk yk how it is we needed at least a little bit of angst but yes dont worry i will give them a happy ending !!! which honestly i feel like is more realistic than a bad ending.. seeun and yn just need to talk things through 🥰

anon i seriously cannot thank u enough for this <333 ur the one who made my weekend !!!! when i receive asks like yours it makes me really happy to have started writing and posting on here :)) i appreciate u sm and love u too and hope u have a lovely rest of ur weekend!!!!<3333

[dandelion-eyelashes-sf]

Yeah but you cant use the “you owe ppl shit” when you have unspoken expectations that i never agreed to tf

Like this sucks, when ppl want something of you / from you that you already said and showed you cant give them

Like why tf were we friends then- if u wanted more?????? Just fuckin leave me alone

I still dont think you’re entitled, even tho my friends do

I think youre hurt and sad and angry and think that you are right/correct

Half a year may be long to you but its not to me

And also, we werent besties like that, where i would share deeply about my internal gpings on. You noticed and didnt think: hm, if its not reciprocated, then that means it wont be reciprocated. Instead you kept on probing. Like wtf u think u were gonna find??

I want to be rid of this anger and frustration— literally taking up so much mental space and energy

And it was all so unexpected cuz i thought we were good, i thought we were friends, i thought we were casual

I trusted you to be truthful about that and now youre hurt cuz u lied?

Even if i did think you were entitled, why would that be so bad?

It seems like ur un-happy and unsatisfied with anything i gave, so why tf were u here, then???

I accepted you as the person you are and i tried to accommodate your communication style

But you dont give me the same understanding when i goof and dont answer an invitation, like youre not my only friend and youre not my priority?????????? When did i say you were? When did i show you in my actions that you were????????

It was lopsided cuz you were more available, but when did i agree to be the same level of available? It was lopsided cuz i worked to understand you and accept, and you didnt.

What the fuck did u even like about me if all you wanted was me to do more, give more, reciprocate the ways you were showing attention?????

And then you say you got co-dependent tendencies. Like bro work on that shit and dont make it my problem.

Ive been tryna be compassionate and not dismiss your feeling but when i express mine you get all mad and hurt????

Just not the same and i dont wanna be friends no more. Idk if ur gonna wantto anyway. Which if u dont, then good- it saves us an awkward conversation where u want a friendship and i dont.

God cant do nothin w scorpios tf lol

Ok i think im good i think im ready to release this shit cuz its FUCKING RIDICULOUS

Fuccccck lol how did i end up here? Blind-sighted by this bullshit.

Anyway anyway i release it all (it may come back but itll be less and less each time)

Im frustrated and thats ok cuz it dont make sense

Im angry cuz I ACTUALLY WAS CONSISTENTLY SHOWING WHO AND HOW I AM AND WHAT I WANTED and she ignored that shit

I angry and hurt cuz i thought i had a friend but turns out she wanted more from me

And aint that typical - how do i avoid this situation in the future?

Im sad cuz it was fun while it lasted but not so sad to miss it or want it back

But as i reflect on my other friends who love me and know me and accept me and remind who i am and remind me im loved as i am, i realize that this friendship was never gonna end up at that level

Not with her pining for something that would never come, not with her ignoring my words about being casual, not her ignoring what tf i show her when i wasnt as available as her in any sense off the word, not with her tryna get me to open up and then asking if she makes me anxious and how can she make me more comfortable? Girl pls wake up to reality

The friends I instantly clicked with and the friends who grew into what we are , both types of friendships were borne out of mutual understanding and acceptance of who we are. Safety came from experience and time and showing up for each other/ letting each other in. Idk , you cant force that.

Anyway, this situation sucks but ive made up my mind that im outtie and im not gonna engage with anymore nonsense.

[theuniverseawakens347]

Hard pill to swallow… Zoe grownish diaries…

Ya learning new culture thru REAL RICH HISTORY… okay… keep what ya like and KNOW.. study what makes you uncomfortable…

Like Russia being Africa .. ya hate white ppl… no YOU HATE YOU LET SOMEONE LITTLE MAN YOU INTO SOMETHING YOU DIDNT FEEL GOOD RIGHT THINK WAS RIGHT… its not about race,

Its intentions …

Is IT WAS ABOUT RACE I WOULDNT HAVE WANTED RACES OF THE CULTURE TO BE MADE AND SHARED… its just lee got a little too heavy handed in wanting to BE IN CONTROL …

Ya feel powerless when ya take someone’s creation and make it “better”

WRITERS PRODUCERS .. how many of Yal work together come in w two ideas .. ya both feel good on ya own then together ya leave feeling like “damn I got short change so ima go do this over there w them to feel big again”.. GLOBAL HISTORY… COLONIALISM ALL OVER ..

Goes back to post … why I let Lee “kill me”

YA NEEDED A REASON TO LEARN YA TRUE SELF AGAIN .. A A REASON TO BELIEVE IN GOD FOR THE FIRST TIMERS

Some of you celebrities getting past life memories back.. TEYANNA and Jess hilarious YA THE SAME PERSON ONE NEW TO EATHER JESS THE OTHER BEEN HERE BEFORE AND CONTINUE THE SAME DUMB SHIT .. Lee. Clive.

GODS MAGIC MADE YA COME OUT TUNNEL OF LIFE : VAGINA .. space .. all symbolic dance of life .. YA ALREADY IN SUPPORT GROUPS .. cause YA BUTAINED GODS BRAIN… LESSON DONT DO THAT DUMB SHIT AGAIN… duh. Tf.

Then ya trickle what celebrities know about gods n past life into the “regular” population but dilute it sooo bad around the globe but those who are MY CREATIONS AT FULL but washed out by propaganda YA KNOW WHATS GOOD.

Ya read the Bible and use the word of god to manipulate UR SATANS CHILD YOU GO FOR GOOD. AWAYSESS ..

— Elmo shrug—-

SOME DONT DESERVE MULTIPLE CHANCES.. Jess ya baby nephlim.. w teyana genes YA DID FOR GRIMY MEANS .. 2 nd chance live til old to watch grow LALA MILAN TOO BUT NO MORE AFTER THAT ANTONY AT TAMBIEN..

JESSIE ORTIZ… ya talk show toxic ya syphon off energy and only want men around.. ya wan talk w me. No.

I SMELL FORGERY MILES AWAY UR PUNISHMENT FITS YA CRIMES. CRY BOOHOO ITS OKAY .. it sucks knowing “god don’t want you”.. but like IM A REPRESENTATION OF YOU CAUSE YOU A BULLY AND NEED BE SHUT DOWN.. also BUTAINED MY BRAIN LEE .. NOW MORTAL TALK BACK REAL BIG WVEN THO IM GOD… YA MYSCLE RELAX ME SO YOU CUD TAKE THESE PPL TO MY NEXT KINGDOM AND FUCKAROUND.. AND KEEP CONFUSING ME AND DARNIECE… THATS HOW WE GOT HERE … NO MORE.

PERGATORY ALL DIMENSION OF YOU AND I TOGETHER AND IM KILLING ALL OF YOU .. SOME LIVE TIL OLD AGE BUT YA NOT COMING BACK. I GAVE TOOOOOO MANY CHANCES AND YA STILL NO LEARN. IM DONE.

“But it’s not fair I didn’t know”… so ya get old age UNLESS YA DID SOME MURDERING AS SHIT FOR MONEY AND GAINS THEN DEATH IMMEDIATELY.. BUT IF YA GOT MENTALNISSUES NEVER DELT W I GIVE YA HEALING AND OEACE BEFORE YA GO …

It is what it is. ME LEARN TOO I DONT NEED TO PROVE MYSELF ANYMORE .. ya BUTAINED me Lee so I wouldn’t believe IM GOD .. I even put on my blog on when 613 appeared after my body building competition “that’s blasphemy “ nipsey as Tristen telecommunicate me w granny FLORANCE NO ITS NOT ITS MY TRUTH YA DUMB CUNT.

IM TAPPING IN W PPL WHO AINT SEEN ME SINCE I WAS 3-6 N THEY AINT SAY A LICK OVER MEDIA TO ME AND RANDOM PPL IM GIVING ME THINGS THEY NEED TO HEAR OR WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT AND WERE NOT SPEAKING A WORD.. THATS CAUSE FOR CONCERN ITS THE END OF THE WORLD.. LET IT HAPPEN STOP FIGHTING YA NEED THE HEALING …

Wouldn’t have been THIS UNCOMFORTABLE HAD YA TAKEN MY PRIVATE FACE TO FACE TALKS IN DECEMBER 2023 and TURNED ME OVER TO MY DAD THE ROCK AND SNOOP 2021 BEFORE PAYCHWARD YA LOSER BITCH.

YES GOD CUSS TF.

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 And we are at 5x08. There was a 20 minute break and he had to call our mom and when she told him he’s being ridiculous, he went ‘but moooom, they played you are my sunshine song while he walked away’ He also keeps giving me a side eye and just looks pissed at me. The episode starts with Brian fucking guys off the list ‘what the fuck is this shit? *looks at me* can you imagine if Justin’s name was on it? We all know Bri Bri is gonna win this childish game, so just wrap it up’ *looks at me during the Brian/Brandon bar scene* ‘why is Bri dressed like he’s pushing 70? Where is the leather? Where is the brown jacket?’ ‘So now Mike and Justin are best friends? Nah. I want a refund! I liked this when Mike was normal and Justin was with Brian. But this? No. (Justin says mike has done plenty) mhm, aint that the truth. (Justin says hes wanted things for long time) since when? Episode 4 of season 5? This is brand new! Stop lying to me. And you. FUCK YOU MIKE! Bri didnt ruin the friendship! You did! You let your stupid new friends talk shit about him to him and did nothing! He’d burn their house down if that was you. Im so fucking sick of everyone being so rude to Brian’ ‘ugh. So let me get this: brian and Justin are forced apart cause the writers suck. Lindsay and Mel are playing house again even tho they suck even more. Ben and Mike are fucking annoying. And Emmett has a stalker. Throw this whole fucking season away right now *looks at me suspiciously* unless if they get back together in the next 40 minutes’ and we are with Brian/Ted ‘HE DID LOSE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE! Finally someone says it! Fuck the best friend tho. I hate the fact that he makes jokes instead of talking his feelings out (Thee frigid bitch scene happens) *gasp* OH MY GOD. *pauses tv after Brian says he lost two people who mean the most to him and just stares at the tv with his mouth open and then slowly turns to me* he actually did it. Where the fuck was *waves his cast around* this shit after season 4? I have to process this, give me a second.’ He then went outside to smoke. He then walked in and went ‘i want to fight his dad. And his mom. Hug him and smack sense into Justin.’ We are now at the scene with Drew and Em ‘DREW?! HES BACK? He’s getting divorced? He’s being blackmailed? What the fuck is going on this season?’ ‘This bet is actually so fucking dumb. Would make sense in season 1 or 2 but not now. *looks at me like ive never seen qaf before* i told you they made him all season 1 again! What happened to the bike race? And the spending time with Gus? AND JUSTIN! And cancer? Although im okay with that fucker gone. shit the last dude on the list is leaving the country? Damn. That’s sad. Oh well, back to Justin we go’ And we are at Justin/dad scene ‘why is he wasting his time with him? (Craig calls Justin an abomination) the only abomination here is that hair. (Craig says justin is the reason for divorce) *throws a pillow at the tv* FUCK YOU’ ted tells his story about the fraternity and how he got punched for having a crush ‘Ted, if that was me, i would’ve protected you! Although i never stayed longer than a few months in college but id still protect you!’ And we are on the plane scene with Brian ‘BRIAN! Where the fuck is he going? NO FUCKING WAY! That’s actually fucking hilarious, im not gonna lie. *starts laughing/almost fake sobbing and puts his hand on his face* and I actually thought he’d let that stop him. But he needs to go back to Justin. Please’ ‘BRIAN AND EMMETT! They keep giving me little moments like this just to tease me. Emmett please, knock some sense into him about Blondie! You’re my last hope since nobody is fucking listening to me.’ And it shows that Drew got outed ‘WHAT THE FUCK?! Oh god, this is bad!’ ‘HE DID NOT GET BLONDIE ARRESTED! OH MY FUCKING GOD. Wait hold the fuck up *spreads his arms out like he wants to run but doesnt know what direction* someone call brian to bail him out that way: BOOM they get back together! Im surprised he hasnt gotten arrested sooner tho. Love him but hes a bit dumb’

He's pissed at you like you wrote the show. LOL

(Justin says hes wanted things for long time) since when? Episode 4 of season 5? This is brand new! Stop lying to me. And you. FUCK YOU MIKE! Bri didnt ruin the friendship! You did! You let your stupid new friends talk shit about him to him and did nothing! He’d burn their house down if that was you. Im so fucking sick of everyone being so rude to Brian’ Just speaking the truth Brother Anon. I completely agree.

Brian says he lost two people who mean the most to him and just stares at the tv with his mouth open and then slowly turns to me* he actually did it. Where the fuck was *waves his cast around* this shit after season 4? I have to process this, give me a second. That scene with Ted gives us so much. But whatever S5 giveth, it taketh times ten.

THEY MADE HIM ALL SEASON 1! Truer words have never been spoken.

Brian should have been the one to bail him out. MAYBE YOUR BROTHER CAN WRITE A FANFIC WHERE THAT HAPPENS

[vcutparis]

FIRST OF ALL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY OMG YAYY!!!! 🫂🫂🫂❤️‍🩹☹️‼️ (congratulations on that fabulous date you had on your bday eve (?) lmfao WE LOVE WHEN YEARNERS GET THEEE ITALICISED OH MOMENT)

He’s like one of those girls you’d befriend in highschool who’d show up on the hallways suddenly judging your entire soul on a random Wednesday, and I don’t like it. okay listen let them cook. because yes.

What does the unrecognizable dude have to do with Hongjoong and his unreadable behavior? Nothing.

SIRENS BLAZING LOUDLY. NEW INFO ABOUT THE LORE DROPPED GASP? SO LIKE THAT GUY FROM THE SECOND CHAPTER MIGHT NOT BE HONGJOONG?? OR MAYBE READER LOST THE MEMORY? THE HEADACHES!!!! dude....my multiverse theory looking more and more truthful at this point. but whatever ive been always wrong when it comes to guessing shit. live commentary always stewpid if its me MEH

THE TIME IS EXACTLY THE SAME HELP????? 2: 37AM WHAT WITCHCRAFT ARE YOU DOING???? TEACH THIS NUGU WITCH SOME OF YOUR WAYS

pompidou my beloved baobei. i know you're gonna help us conquest this journey well.

“Maybe I was the one who left him in an alternate reality, and this is the price I have to pay for it,” you joke, but it only feels like a pathetic attempt to make yourself feel better. idk i prolly leaning too much into the alternate reality theory too much maybe its just a slow burn fic....but nvm im probably gonna make a fool of myself. let me jus believe that pompidou is the main character BYE.

slipping through my fingers....HONGJOONG TALKED ABOUT HIS DREAMS SLIPPING THROUGH HIS FINGERS. HOLYYYYY SHITTTTTT wait a moment oh my reader being vocal about their thoughts to a kitty...oh boy do i feel uncomfy but at the same time so so so seen?

la vie en rose makes an appearance again (boy jupiter on your playlist is playing, can i cry even louder?) THE REPEATED MOTIFS ARE THE SOUL OF YOUR WRITING!!!!!!!!!! (i type in caps so much im sorry i lose my demureness in winter months EUGH)

Then, Wooyoung shook his head slowly. “You’re lying to yourself. And honestly? It’s pathetic, Hongjoong. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

cue a big loud gasp. honestly i dont even who i am crying for lmfao, its just that i am crying. "never seen you like this" and its your mfing best friend saying that GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD YOU HAMSTER BOY! WE LOVE YOU WOOYOUNG FOR SMACKING SOME SENSE OF REALITY INTO LUVRBOY!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU (HIGH FIVES) id still like to be the little devil on his shoulder tho.

what the hell...actually happened oh my god. middle school girl? faceless guy?? from middle school?? name changed? both of them having opposite fears but also kind of same but somehow same situation in the same timeline. 😭😭😭? bruh now i know for a fact they aint talking abt each other.

boy my brain mushy from the theories and emotional stuff, i feel muc much more connected to joong now holy shit (pats head in comfort)

crying like how i used to cry reading those wattpad stories under my blanket...oh hello real angst slow burn.

ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤTHE CITY OF LOVE

ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎ Chapter Eleven: You Wonder why I’m Bitter

ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ < previous | next >

masterpost

៚ wc: 8.2k (total: ???)

៚ fluff, angst, fashion designer!hongjoong x model!reader (ft. personal assistant!seonghwa & photographer!wooyoung), slowburn, strangers to lovers, soulmates au if you squint, do french people actually say bonjour irl?

៚ playlist !

៚ Alone and aching for the connection that once felt so natural, you reluctantly turn to an unlikely companion: Pompidou, who listens to you pour out all the longing you’ve fought so hard to bury. While you grapple with the emptiness left by Hongjoong’s sudden withdrawal, he, too, finds himself lost, wrestling with the very feelings he’s tried to deny. Haunted by memories and choices he can’t quite reconcile, Hongjoong is caught between the familiarity of the past and the confusing reality of the present.

a/n: was supposed to upload this on the 27th cause that’s my birthday but i just can’t wait any longer 😅 keep an eye out for the littlest of details because nothing is as it seems in this chapter :P lmk what you guys think!

tags: @beabatiny @babymbbatinygirl

First of all, I hate myself. Second of all, I hate myself. Oh, and did I already mention that I hate myself? I just don’t know what to do anymore! It feels like it’s been a whole decade ever since I last picked up a pen to scribble on this godforsaken journal… I wish I could just go back to the time I was writing the page behind the one I’m writing on right now and just cancel my flight to Paris. This is all so frustrating, you know? Fashion Week is nearing, and I am not prepared at all—no, not even a little. I’m supposed to be spending my hours inside the studio practicing runway walks and testing out facial expressions, but no! I’m way too afraid of crossing paths with Hongjoong to even think about the consequences of not taking my preparations seriously! And speaking of Hongjoong…

He’s driving me to the edge of my sanity. I don’t know what’s going on with him—okay, scratch that, I definitely do. I just don’t get why he’s acting so avoidant all of a sudden… I mean, like, okay, I would understand his unprovoked need for distance between us if we actually kissed that night, but we didn’t. The farthest step we were able to take was just him holding onto the sides of my face and me looking at his lips like I’m a starved dog looking at its first meal of the day before Wooyoung fortunately interrupted us—so why is he acting up?

He’s like one of those girls you’d befriend in highschool who’d show up on the hallways suddenly judging your entire soul on a random Wednesday, and I don’t like it. Seriously, what’s his problem? He made me accustomed to his usual sweet and caring persona, and all of a sudden, he wants to act like this? What have I done wrong? Wasn’t it literally him who initiated the… whatever I’m supposed to call what happened that night?

I’m just concerned, you know. It’s been two weeks, and yet he’s still avoiding me like I’m the plague. I haven’t been receiving any messages from him at all lately, either. Even Madame Dupont is asking me why she no longer sees the “small young handsome boy” waiting for me outside the apartment building while leaning against his car. Wooyoung’s been trying to persuade me into confirming his theory that Hongjoong and I are going through a lovers’ quarrel for three days now, too. And guess who’s the most troubled of them all? Seonghwa. He’s been doing his best to put us back into speaking terms for a while now, and I don’t know why—I swear I didn’t ask him to do that.

Everyone is worried. Everyone but him.

You know, this brings me back to that unrecognizable faceless guy I see in some of my blurry flashbacks. I remember him asking me how long I’ve been bottling up my emotions, and when I told him I’ve been doing so for pretty much my entire life, he told me to consider writing in a journal.

What does the unrecognizable dude have to do with Hongjoong and his unreadable behavior? Nothing.

I just noticed that it’s been a while since I last wrote a journal entry, and… it’s been a while since I last let my emotions unravel. I remember the words that came out of his mouth that day.

“When you can’t figure out what you’re feeling, or if you need to let it all out, the only thing you have to do is pull this out along with a pen, and from then on, you can start writing away. Let yourself get lost in your own world.”

You know what, in a way, I think he and Hongjoong actually have something in common. I know I can’t say much because I only have one memory of this guy, but he spoke with as much wisdom as Hongjoong does. Also… “let yourself get lost in your own world.” That’s honestly the most Hongjoong-ish advice someone could ever give, given how he himself gets lost in his own world of artistry, too.

I just wish he’d stop ignoring me. I can’t help but feel like this is all somehow my fault… Am I just hurting myself by expecting things to suddenly go back to the way they used to be?

As you closed your journal with a weary sigh, your eyes drifted to the dim glow of your bedside clock reading 2:37 a.m. The room was silent, save for the soft hum of distant traffic, yet you felt far from at peace. It was a night for sleep, yet your mind wouldn’t quiet; thoughts of Hongjoong twisted and turned within you, refusing to settle.

“Why does it feel like this?” you murmured, pressing your palms into your face, as if that could somehow soothe the ache in your chest. You longed for comfort, for answers, even for a brief respite from the confusion that had become your constant companion. “If only that faceless guy could telepathically whisper some words of wisdom to me right now…”

Two weeks had passed since you last shared any words with Hongjoong—two weeks where every glance, every passing moment, felt laced with an unspoken tension that only deepened the rift between you. It was all becoming painfully real, the shift so clear to everyone around you. But no one knew the truth—the moment you almost kissed, the silent proximity that had left you dizzy and wondering. Even Seonghwa, in his genuine concern, couldn’t know the pang of vulnerability that had filled that night, the fear and excitement mingling as you’d come closer than ever before.

Your mind flashed back to the other day when the ache of his absence had been sharpest. You passed by him in a hallway, hoping for a flicker of his usual warmth, his soft gaze that once reassured you of your place in his world. But he’d brushed past with such indifference—not even nodding to acknowledge your presence, a chill in his demeanor that left you hollow. And then he was gone, his footsteps echoing down the corridor, leaving you alone with a rising sense of loss.

Without thinking, you picked up your phone and opened your gallery. Photos of Hongjoong filled your screen, and your eyes drift over candid snapshots—some of you and Hongjoong working late in the studio, others of him laughing or looking thoughtful, moments caught by your camera that now feel like glimpses into another lifetime. There’s a picture of him outside your apartment building, waving you goodbye one evening. Another shot of him hunched over his desk in concentration, unaware that you’d snapped the photo from across the room. Then, there’s a particularly precious one of the two of you, taken in his office—which was likely Wooyoung’s doing.

As you scroll, an ache blossoms within you, spreading in slow, insistent waves that make your chest feel tight. You can feel the sting of tears welling up in your eyes, and it catches you off guard. Why now? Why does he, of all people, have this power over you? You swipe at the tears, frustrated by the sudden swell of emotion. It’s not supposed to be like this, you tell yourself. Hongjoong is supposed to be your friend, your mentor, the one person in Paris who helped you find your footing when everything felt foreign. But as the images blur beneath the glisten of unshed tears, you can’t help but wonder if that’s all he’ll ever be—someone whose warmth once felt like home, and whose absence now feels like a loss you’re not ready to face.

The soft scratching at your window pulls you abruptly from your thoughts. For a moment, you freeze, glancing back at the phone you’d just placed on your desk. Carefully, you grab your journal—a flimsy defense, maybe, but it’s better than nothing. Heart pounding just slightly, you step forward, inching closer to the window.

When you peek over, you’re met with a familiar sight: Pompidou, the resident stray cat who had made the apartment building his kingdom, sits with one paw pressed to the glass, his usual unamused expression aimed your way.

You exhale a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, feeling the tension drain from your shoulders as you let out a soft laugh. Setting your journal on the bed, you reach over to open the window, letting him slip inside with practiced ease. He slinks past you with the air of someone who owns the place and makes himself right at home, hopping onto your bed and circling until he’s claimed his spot in the center.

You sit beside him, running a gentle hand over his soft fur. It’s strange how much you missed him. For the past few weeks, your room felt emptier without his occasional visits—without that extra little creature who just… understood you, in a way. And now, with Hongjoong’s absence haunting you, Pompidou couldn’t have come at a better time.

The thought hits you harder than you expect: here you are, at your lowest, relying on a cat for comfort simply because the one person you’re used to confiding in has become distant, almost like a stranger. The ache in your chest intensifies, and before you know it, you’re lying down next to him, resting your head on the bed and gazing at his calm, indifferent eyes. It feels silly, pathetic even, to be speaking your heart to a cat, but in this silence, with no one else to turn to, you let yourself unravel.

“Pompidou,” you whisper, voice barely holding steady, “I… I don’t know what I did wrong. Everything was fine, wasn’t it?” Your fingers tremble as they thread through his fur, a warmth grounding you in the midst of your unraveling. “I don’t know how we ended up here. He’s always been there for me, and now… it’s like he’s vanished. And I’m trying, I really am, but every time I reach out, it’s like he’s miles away.”

A sharp breath catches in your throat, and you look up at the ceiling, fighting against the tears stinging your eyes. “It’s probably all my fault,” you confess in a whisper that breaks. “Maybe I was too much, or maybe I should have… I don’t know, said something differently, done something better. Maybe I shouldn’t have invited him to eat dinner that night so that…” A bitter chuckle slips out as you squeeze your eyes shut. “It’s funny, you know. All my life, I’ve been terrified of being alone, of people walking out… and now here I am, trying to be okay with him pulling away like it’s nothing.”

Pompidou shifts slightly, his warm body pressing into your side, a small reminder that he’s there, and he’s not leaving. You let your hand drop to your chest, feeling the dull ache that’s settled there. “I just miss him, Pompidou. I miss the way he used to look at me like I mattered. Now, he can’t even look me in the eyes. And I don’t know why I’m clinging to that, why I’m hoping he’ll suddenly turn around and go back to being who he was.”

The silence swallows you for a moment. “Maybe it’s because, deep down, I’m still the same pathetic teenager from Arcadia Bay who’s scared that she doesn’t deserve anything better. That she’s always going to be left behind, and this… this is just proof.” Your voice falters, words thick with pain you can no longer hold back. “And if he leaves, then maybe it’s what I deserve.”

“Maybe I was the one who left him in an alternate reality, and this is the price I have to pay for it,” you joke, but it only feels like a pathetic attempt to make yourself feel better.

The pain is so sharp it almost feels physical, a hollow ache that makes every breath feel heavier than the last. You close your eyes, fighting against the helplessness clawing at your insides, but the words keep pouring out, jagged and raw, as though voicing them might lessen the weight—even if it’s only to a cat who can’t respond.

“Do you know what’s worse?” you whisper, fingers clutching the fabric of your shirt over your chest as if you could hold yourself together by sheer will. “It’s that I can’t even be mad at him. I want to be—believe me, I’ve tried. I tell myself he’s the one pulling away, that he’s the one who’s changed, but then I start wondering… what if I pushed him to this? What if I’m the reason he’s slipping through my fingers?”

A soft tremor runs through your hands, and you curl them into fists, teeth gritted as you force the tears back. “I keep thinking… maybe he’s right to distance himself. Maybe there’s something broken in me, something that just drives people away. And the worst part is, I keep wishing he’d come back, like I’d somehow be enough if I could just—”

Your voice catches, breaking into a whisper as you bury your face in your hands, barely holding in the sob that threatens to spill out. “I just don’t understand. He was my safe place, Pompidou. For the first time in so long, I actually felt like I mattered. He made me feel seen. And now… now I feel invisible all over again, like everything we shared was just temporary, like it didn’t mean anything.”

Pompidou shifts closer, his soft purr rumbling beneath your fingertips as you stroke his fur, a small solace in the middle of this storm.

“I try to convince myself that I’m fine, that I can go on without him,” you continue, voice cracking as the words spill out unchecked. “But the truth is, I’m terrified. I’m scared that if he leaves… if he’s really gone, I’ll be alone again, just like before. And I hate myself for feeling this way, for being so… so weak.”

The tears finally break free, slipping down your cheeks in a silent flood. “What does that say about me? That I’m so dependent on him, that I can’t even imagine my life without him? I thought I was stronger than this, that I’d learned how to stand on my own. But now… now it’s like I’m right back to that scared, lonely kid I used to be, clinging to anyone who shows me a hint of kindness.”

You pull your knees to your chest, holding yourself as tightly as you can, as if you could somehow shield yourself from the emptiness swallowing you whole. “I can’t stop thinking that maybe this is all I deserve. That maybe I’m meant to be alone. Maybe he’s finally seeing me for who I am, and he’s realizing I’m not worth it.”

Your shoulders shake as the sobs escape, quiet and raw, each one cutting through you like glass. Pompidou curls closer, his little face pressing against your arm, as though he understands in his own way. But his silent comfort only deepens the ache, a reminder that the person you need more than anything isn’t here, and you’re left holding yourself together with nothing but frayed threads of hope.

With a shuddering breath, you finally admit the fear you’ve been trying so hard to ignore. “What if he doesn’t come back, Pompidou? What if this is it? I don’t think… I don’t think I can handle losing him. Not like this.”

Your voice drops to a whisper, the words coming slow and soft as you gaze out the window, eyes unfocused. “I just… I miss him, Pompidou,” you murmur, fingers absently tracing patterns against the sheets.

“I miss all the little things that made it feel like he was a part of me, like he was woven into my days without me even realizing it. I miss the way he’d send me random sketches, the ones that made no sense but made me laugh anyway, like he was letting me in on his little worlds. I miss… I miss how he’d always have this ridiculous drink order for me every time we’d meet up at the café where we switched up our notebooks with one another before we met for the first time. It’s like he knew exactly what I’d need, even if I didn’t.”

The memories wash over you, and you can’t stop the warmth from pooling in your chest as you picture those moments. “I wish we could go back to that time when things were… simple. When I could sit beside him without feeling like the whole world was shifting under my feet. When he’d laugh and look at me like I was… like I was something special, you know?”

Your voice trembles, and you tighten your grip on the sheets. “And the thing is… it was just easy with him. He’d be there, always making me feel like nothing could go wrong as long as we were together. He’d be there with his quiet, comforting presence, and I could just… be. I didn’t have to pretend or put on some mask. It was like he could see right through me, and somehow, he didn’t care about all the mess he found.”

You take a deep breath, the words spilling out like a plea. “I just want to go back, Pompidou. Back to before everything felt so fragile, before that almost-kiss, before this… this distance. I wish I could reach out and take it all back. I’d give anything just to have things feel normal again.”

Pompidou tilts his head, eyes blinking up at you, and you can’t help but laugh, a soft, broken sound that catches in your throat. “I know it sounds silly, doesn’t it? I mean, how could I expect anything to be the same after that? But I can’t help it, Pompidou. I want to go back to when he’d smile at me like that, when I didn’t have to wonder if I was the one pushing him away.”

You close your eyes, feeling the weight of each memory anchor you down. “I miss his laugh. I miss his stupid jokes. I miss the way he’d lean closer when he talked about his dreams, his voice getting all serious like he could see every detail in his mind. And I miss… I miss feeling like I belonged somewhere, like I belonged with him. I miss how he’d look at me with this warmth, like I was enough, just as I was.”

The words come out like a broken whisper, a confession you’ve been holding inside for far too long. “I can’t stop missing him. I wish… I wish I could go back to that last night before everything shifted. Before the night we nearly kissed, before I even realized what I felt. I wish I could’ve just stayed there, in that moment, without letting any of it change.”

You hug your knees, curling up as the ache settles deeper, heavier. “But I can’t. And now it’s as if I’m left with pieces of him in everything around me, and I don’t know how to put myself back together without him.”

You pull yourself up, exhaling slowly, and walk over to your desk. The room feels quiet, still heavy with everything you’ve let out, yet somehow emptier too, as if releasing the words has left you hollow. With a shaky hand, you pick up your phone and make your way back to bed, curling up beside Pompidou, who has already claimed his spot against your pillow. Settling into the blankets, you scroll through your contacts, your thumb hovering over Hongjoong’s icon.

It’s just his initials next to a simple photo he once sent—a candid moment he probably forgot about, something so ordinary that it’s precious now. The way he looked when he didn’t realize anyone was watching: a slight smile, eyes softened by something he found funny, maybe even a bit endearing. The sight makes your chest tighten, and you let yourself scroll up, reading through old conversations like leafing through the pages of a treasured book.

Each message brings back flashes of shared laughter and late-night ramblings, little moments where time seemed to pause, and it was just the two of you—untouchable, safe. You linger on a message he sent on a rainy afternoon, a random joke he thought would cheer you up. Your lips curl into a faint smile, but it’s bittersweet. There was a time when it was so easy, so effortless, like breathing. He had a way of knowing exactly when you needed a reminder that he was there. But now, that comfort feels distant, unreachable.

A tear slips down your cheek again before you realize it, and you hastily swipe it away, but the sorrow wells up again, slipping past your guard. As if sensing your pain, Pompidou extends a soft paw, resting it gently below your eyes, and you feel his fur against your cheek, grounding you in a way that words can’t. His small gesture tugs a quiet, breathy laugh from you, despite the ache in your chest. It’s as if he’s trying to catch your sadness, pulling it away piece by piece, his wide eyes fixed on yours with an empathy you can almost feel.

You let your head fall, hugging Pompidou close, allowing yourself to finally surrender to the pain and let it wash over you without restraint. The loneliness, the longing, the hollow spaces Hongjoong’s absence has left in you—all of it spills out as you clutch the feline tightly, letting his warmth and steady breathing lull you into a fragile sense of comfort. The room seems to blur, softening around you as the weight of everything you’ve been holding back presses into you.

The tears come faster now, unstoppable, and your quiet sobs fill the silence, raw and unfiltered. It’s just you and Pompidou, and for a moment, it feels like you’re not truly alone. There, in the quiet solace of your room, you cling to that small comfort, letting yourself feel every ounce of longing, letting yourself miss him—fully, desperately, hopelessly.

—

Meanwhile, Hongjoong stood in his office, the warm, nostalgic tones of “La Vie en Rose” playing softly from the record player behind him. His gaze fixed on the window, hands clasped tightly behind his back, and he fought to keep his emotions in check. Each note lingered in the air, pulling him deeper into the web of memories he was desperately trying to forget. This song, of all songs—he could still remember how it had been playing when the two of you had stood together in the flower shop, laughing over bouquets and trading light-hearted jokes as if the world beyond didn’t exist.

Part of him knew he could walk over and turn it off. The music was his to control, after all. And yet… he couldn’t bring himself to stop it. The melody was the last fragile thread that kept him tethered to you, a reminder of the warmth he felt in your presence, the comfort of knowing someone understood him.

The dim light from the city outside cast a soft glow over his office, illuminating the expanse of papers scattered across his desk, the outlines of unfinished sketches and hastily scrawled notes, all reminders of the whirlwind he’d buried himself in since he started pushing you away. Each corner of the room felt saturated with memories of you—and it was strange how a space that had once felt so alive now seemed hollow, absent of the warmth you’d brought into it.

He tried to focus on the skyline again, his eyes tracing the glittering lights of the city. It was an attempt to ground himself, to pull himself back from the turmoil inside him. But tonight, every bit of stillness he attempted felt false, every piece of composure barely hanging by a thread. All he could think about was you—the absence of your presence filling every empty space in his mind, as if refusing to be silenced.

He turned slowly from the window, allowing his gaze to wander over his desk. It was almost impossible to remember the last time he’d felt fully at ease in this room. The stacks of designs that had once held so much promise now felt like hollow accomplishments, each one only reminding him of the fire you’d helped him ignite. His eyes landed on a small pendant lying amidst the clutter. The flower encased inside had faded slightly, its once-vibrant petals softened by time. He picked it up, cradling it carefully in his hand, feeling a strange tenderness rise within him.

You’d given him that flower, pressing it into his hand with a shy smile as you murmured something about it bringing him luck. He could still recall the way your fingers had lingered against his, the brief but electric touch that had left him wondering if you felt it too. “For good luck,” you’d said, your eyes sparkling in that way they always did when you felt especially close to him.

Hongjoong swallowed, feeling a tightness in his chest as he held the pendant closer. How was it that something so small could carry the weight of so many memories? He closed his eyes, and the warmth of your smile flashed in his mind, as vivid as if you were standing beside him. But now, as he held the pendant, it felt heavier, like a tiny piece of the past he was terrified of losing forever.

In his mind, he slipped back to that night—the one that had started as an ordinary work session, yet had unraveled into something far more vulnerable. He could still feel the closeness of the room, the soft glow of the lamps casting long shadows as you both worked side by side, immersed in the quiet moment you shared.

You’d shared things that night that were never meant to leave the room. He could still hear your voice, low and hesitant, as you revealed the fears you held closest to your heart. “Being left alone,” you’d admitted, your words raw and unguarded. The truth of it had lingered between you, a quiet vulnerability that had shaken him more than he cared to admit.

When you turned the question back on him, he’d hesitated, feeling the weight of his own guarded secrets pressing against his chest. But in that quiet space, under the gentle glow of the lamp, he’d found himself opening up in ways he hadn’t allowed himself to in years. “Losing myself,” he’d whispered, his voice barely audible, but enough for you to hear. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Now, standing alone in his empty office, Hongjoong felt the irony of it all washing over him. He’d tried so hard to protect himself, to build walls so high that even you couldn’t reach them. But now, it felt as if he had developed a new fear bigger than losing himself—losing you.

A quiet knock on the door broke his reverie, and he tensed, slipping the pendant into his pocket as he turned. Wooyoung’s face appeared in the doorway, his expression unreadable as he took in the sight of Hongjoong standing alone, the haunting strains of La Vie en Rose still spinning softly from the record player across the room.

Wooyoung’s eyes flickered to the player, where the melody had been looping for what must have been the better part of an hour. “Still here?” he asked quietly, a hint of concern threading his tone.

Hongjoong forced a slight smile, his voice coming out rougher than he intended. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Wooyoung stepped further into the room, his gaze sharp as it settled on Hongjoong. “You know…” Wooyoung began, folding his arms as he leaned against the wall, “the world can see how miserable you are. Including her—especially her.”

Hongjoong stiffened, the forced nonchalance slipping from his face as he turned away, staring intently at the record player as if it held all the answers he was struggling to find. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered, the words feeling hollow even to his own ears.

“Hongjoong,” Wooyoung’s tone softened, a hint of exasperation breaking through. “I know you. I know how much you care about her. And I know you’re running from something you can’t outrun. But you’re not fooling anyone by pretending it doesn’t matter.”

Hongjoong’s jaw tightened, his mind racing with all the reasons he’d built to keep you at a distance. Each one felt logical, safe, a way to protect himself from something he couldn’t quite name. But here, with Wooyoung standing there, watching him with that steady gaze, he felt every layer he’d built start to unravel.

“I’m not pretending,” he said quietly, barely audible above the music.

Wooyoung’s eyes narrowed, his tone turning softer, almost pleading. “Then what are you doing, Hongjoong? Because from where I’m standing, all I see is someone too scared to reach for what he really wants.”

Hongjoong’s heart twisted painfully, Wooyoung’s words hitting far too close to home. He felt the weight of everything he’d tried to suppress rising within him, a tidal wave of emotions he’d buried so deeply he’d convinced himself they were gone. But Wooyoung’s words had brought them to the surface, and now, there was no escaping them.

A silence stretched between them, and Hongjoong’s gaze fell to the floor. In that moment, he felt utterly vulnerable, as though Wooyoung could see right through him, could see the aching desire he’d tried so hard to deny. He didn’t have to say it—Wooyoung already knew.

Hongjoong’s fingers were still curled around the pendant in his pocket when Wooyoung let out a quiet sigh, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. “So,” Wooyoung began, breaking the silence, “are you really going to stand here, pretending everything’s fine?”

Hongjoong’s jaw clenched, his shoulders tensing. He wanted to brush off Wooyoung’s words, to deflect with some casual response that would keep the carefully built walls intact. But his mind was a battlefield, each memory of you cutting through his defenses like a blade.

“Everything is fine,” he replied tersely. He didn’t meet Wooyoung’s eyes, focusing instead on a spot just beyond his shoulder.

Wooyoung’s brows knitted together, clearly unconvinced. “Right. That’s why you’ve been playing her favorite song on loop for the last hour. That’s why you’ve been holed up in here, avoiding anything that reminds you of her.” He shook his head, his tone equal parts exasperation and worry. “Hongjoong, you’re not fooling me. I know you, and I know you’re running from something—from someone.”

Hongjoong let out a low, frustrated sigh, finally looking up at Wooyoung. “Wooyoung, just drop it, alright?” He forced a tense smile, attempting to sound dismissive. “This… whatever you think is going on, it’s all in your head. We were just friends.”

But Wooyoung didn’t budge. “Friends?” He let out a quiet laugh, but there was no humor in it, just the weight of disbelief. “You really want to go with that? Because the way you’re acting… it doesn’t look like you’re just missing a friend. You’re avoiding her like she’s a stranger, but then you’re here, playing her favorite song over and over, clutching onto that pendant like it’s the last piece of her you have.”

Hongjoong’s fingers instinctively tightened around the pendant, and he felt a pang of frustration rise within him. He didn’t want to admit that Wooyoung’s words struck too close to home. “I told you, it’s nothing like that,” he bit back, his tone sharper than intended. “You’re turning this into something it isn’t.”

Wooyoung’s eyes narrowed, his gaze not faltering. “Am I? Because from where I’m standing, you’re acting like a guy who’s desperately trying to convince himself of something he doesn’t even believe.”

“Wooyoung—”

“Hongjoong, you can’t keep lying to yourself.” Wooyoung’s tone softened, his voice carrying a gentleness that seemed to cut deeper than the words themselves. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but I do know that you care about her. You’re not fooling anyone by pretending this distance is ‘better’ for either of you.”

Hongjoong’s patience began to fray, his frustration morphing into anger. He shot Wooyoung a glare, his voice rising. “It is better, Wooyoung. She… she deserves better. She doesn’t need to be pulled into whatever mess I am.” He paused, catching his breath, his anger mingling with something closer to desperation. “I’m not what’s best for her. And it’s better for the both of us if I keep my distance.”

Wooyoung’s expression shifted, his gaze hardening as he stepped closer, unwilling to let Hongjoong brush him off. “So, what? You think pushing her away, acting like she means nothing, is somehow good for her? You really think she’s better off without you?”

“Yes,” Hongjoong replied, his tone final, but the conviction in his voice was starting to waver.

Wooyoung gave him a long, scrutinizing look, and for a moment, the silence between them was thick with unspoken truths. Then, Wooyoung shook his head slowly. “You’re lying to yourself. And honestly? It’s pathetic, Hongjoong. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

The words hit Hongjoong like a slap, and a flash of anger surged within him, simmering beneath the surface. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered, his voice low and strained. “I’m doing this for her, so just… stop.”

But Wooyoung wouldn’t relent. “You’re not doing this for her. You’re doing this because you’re afraid. Afraid to admit how much she means to you. Afraid of what might happen if you actually let her in. Whatever you’re afraid of, whatever you think is keeping you from being with her… maybe it’s worth rethinking. Because if you keep running like this, you’re going to lose her. And then what?”

Hongjoong felt his control slipping, the carefully constructed barriers he’d built starting to crack under the weight of Wooyoung’s words. He clenched his fists, his gaze dropping to the floor as he struggled to keep his voice steady. “This isn’t about fear.”

“Isn’t it?” Wooyoung’s voice softened, a hint of understanding breaking through the frustration. “Hongjoong… I get it. You’re scared of losing yourself. Of losing control. But she’s not the one who’s going to make that happen. You are, by doing this. By trying so hard to keep her out.”

Hongjoong stayed silent, his chest tightening as Wooyoung’s words began to sink in. He wanted to deny it, to push back with the same conviction he’d clung to for weeks, but he couldn’t. Because deep down, he knew there was truth in Wooyoung’s words.

Finally, Wooyoung let out a sigh, his tone softening even further. “Listen, man. I don’t know what almost happened, or why you’re so determined to stay away from her, but you have to ask yourself… is this really what you want?”

Hongjoong closed his eyes, his mind flashing back to that night in your apartment—the feeling of your hand brushing his, the way your gaze had lingered on him, the unspoken tension that had nearly pulled him into something he couldn’t name. He’d wanted so badly to close that distance, to feel your lips against his, to let go of the fear and doubt that had held him back. But just as he’d leaned closer, Wooyoung’s call had snapped him out of the moment, bringing him crashing back to reality.

“Do you even understand how much she’s hurting, Hongjoong?” And there it was again—the harshness in Wooyoung’s tone. “Seonghwa told me she’s tearing herself apart over this. She doesn’t eat right anymore, and she barely even sleeps. She spends her nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering where things went wrong, wondering if she’s the problem.”

The words landed like a punch to Hongjoong’s gut, leaving him breathless. Images of you flashed through his mind—moments when he’d caught glimpses of your smile faltering, your laughter quieting, the spark in your eyes dimming little by little. He’d told himself it was just his imagination, that you were fine. But Wooyoung’s words shattered that illusion entirely.

“She thinks she did something wrong, Hongjoong,” Wooyoung continued, his voice filled with barely contained anger. “She actually believes she’s the reason you’re running. Every time you disappear, every time you pull away, she thinks it’s because of something she did. And the worst part? She doesn’t even blame you. She blames herself.”

Hongjoong’s fists clenched at his sides, his nails digging into his palms as guilt clawed at him.

“Seonghwa told me she asked him if she was too much. Can you believe that?” Wooyoung’s voice cracked. “She actually thinks she’s too much for you. That she’s somehow burdening you, dragging you down. She’s convinced herself that if she were just… less, maybe you wouldn’t be running.”

Hongjoong’s breath hitched, a wave of nausea rolling over him as he realized the full extent of the pain he’d caused. You—who had always been so vibrant, so unapologetically yourself—were now questioning every part of who you were, trying to shrink yourself down to avoid scaring him away.

“She’s not even angry at you, Hongjoong,” Wooyoung said, his voice barely above a whisper now, each word a dagger aimed straight at Hongjoong’s heart. “She doesn’t hate you for this. She just… she thinks she’s not enough. Or that she’s too much. Either way, she’s convinced that she’s the problem.”

Hongjoong closed his eyes, his mind reeling. He could feel the anchor of your pain weighing down on him; He’d done this to you—turned you into a shadow of yourself, left you grappling with doubts and insecurities that weren’t yours to bear.

“You’ve been so busy hiding behind your own fears,” Wooyoung continued, “that you haven’t even stopped to consider what this is doing to her. You’re so terrified of being hurt again that you’re hurting her—over and over, every day, with every step you take away from her.”

Hongjoong opened his mouth to speak, to protest, but the words caught in his throat. What could he possibly say to justify this? How could he explain that he’d been running not to hurt you, but to protect himself? It sounded so selfish, so small in the face of everything you were going through.

“And you know what’s really twisted?” Wooyoung’s voice dropped, a bitter edge creeping into his tone. “She’d take you back in a heartbeat. Despite everything, she’d still look at you the same way she did before you started pushing her away. She’d still forgive you, still try to see the good in you, because that’s who she is. That’s how much she cares.”

Hongjoong felt something break inside him, a quiet, shattering realization that left him reeling. You would forgive him. He knew that. He could see it in his mind—the way you’d smile softly, the way your eyes would fill with understanding, even now. Even after everything, you’d welcome him back, arms open, heart exposed, waiting.

“She deserves better, Joong.” Wooyoung’s words were softer now, the anger replaced by a raw, unfiltered honesty. “She deserves someone who doesn’t make her question her worth. Someone who doesn’t make her feel like she’s somehow wrong just for being herself. And if you can’t be that for her… if you’re too wrapped up in your own fears to let her in… then you need to let her go.”

Hongjoong’s chest tightened, a hollow ache spreading through him as he struggled to process it all. He didn’t want to let you go. He couldn’t. But the thought of holding onto you only to keep hurting you, to keep dragging you through his own tangled web of insecurities and fears—it was unbearable.

“She’s barely holding up. She hides it well, but Seonghwa can see it. He told me how she sits alone for hours, just staring off into space, like she’s lost something she can’t find. She keeps her phone close, hoping maybe, just maybe, you’ll reach out. But every time you don’t... it breaks her a little more.”

Hongjoong’s chest tightened painfully, each word slicing through him like a blade. He could see it so clearly now, every painful moment he’d forced you through. How you must’ve waited for messages that never came, must’ve spent countless nights wondering where things had gone wrong. The thought of you sitting there, lost in your own pain, while he’d been so focused on his own fears, was more than he could bear.

“And don’t think she hasn’t tried to talk to you.” Wooyoung’s voice turned sharp, accusatory. “Seonghwa told me how many times she’s wanted to reach out, just to make sure you’re okay, just to see if you’d give her even a scrap of reassurance. But every time, she stops herself. She doesn’t want to bother you, doesn’t want to seem needy. She’s holding back everything she feels because she’s afraid it’ll push you further away.”

Wooyoung’s eyes softened slightly, but the fire of his conviction remained. “You need to understand, Hongjoong. This isn’t just about you anymore. It’s about her too. You’re hurting her, and if you don’t start realizing that, it’ll be too late. She’s going to break, and I don’t think she’ll come back from it.”

Hongjoong felt a cold wave of dread wash over him. The thought of you shattering into pieces because of his cowardice was unbearable. He wanted to argue, to defend himself, to say that he was doing this for you, for the both of you. But deep down, he knew it was a lie. He was only trying to shield himself from the fear of loss, the same fear that had haunted him since that girl from his past had walked away.

“I can’t… I can’t lose anyone again, Woo,” Hongjoong finally admitted, his voice cracking under the weight of his confession. “What if she sees me for who I really am? What if she realizes I’m not worth it?”

Wooyoung shook his head, frustration flashing across his features. “That’s where you’re wrong. She already sees you, and she loves you for all the parts you’re trying to hide. You think you’re protecting her by staying away, but you’re only pushing her further into despair.”

Hongjoong’s heart raced, a whirlwind of emotions colliding within him. “How do you know? How do you know she feels that way?”

“Because I’ve talked to Seonghwa, and he cares about her, Joong! He’s seen her cry over you. He told me she broke down one night, just sitting on the floor of her room, wondering why you were so distant. She kept saying she must’ve done something wrong. Do you want that for her? Do you want to be the reason she loses herself?”

The image of you curled up alone, tears streaming down your face while grappling with your worth, sliced through Hongjoong. The sheer guilt of it settled heavily in his chest, suffocating him. He had wanted to protect you, but in doing so, he had only hurt you more.

Hongjoong lingered in silence, the weight of his unspoken fears casting a shadow over the room. He could feel Wooyoung’s gaze on him, a

persistent pressure urging him to confront the thoughts he’d been too afraid to voice.

“What if…” The words caught in his throat, his voice strained with the vulnerability he couldn’t hide. “What if I take the next step, and she leaves? What if she ends up leaving just like—”

Wooyoung interrupted him by reaching forward, pressing his fingers gently but firmly to Hongjoong’s lips, shushing him with an authority that surprised them both. “I know what comes next, Hongjoong,” he murmured. “You don’t need to say it.”

Hongjoong stiffened, pulling back ever so slightly, a touch of annoyance flickering across his face. “You think it’s that simple?” he muttered, frustration bleeding into his voice. “You think it’s easy to just… forget?”

Wooyoung’s expression softened, though he held firm. “I think you’re holding onto something that’s long gone, Joong. And you’re letting it get in the way of something real.” He paused, leaning forward. “So what if the girl you loved back in middle school left you? You’re still letting her be the one who decides what happens now?”

Hongjoong’s mouth opened, then closed, his defenses crumbling under Wooyoung’s scrutiny. He could feel the words bubbling up, the excuses he’d used to justify his fears over and over, but this time, they didn’t come. The silence between them grew heavier, and he felt himself shrinking under Wooyoung’s eyes.

“It’s not about her,” Hongjoong finally managed, his voice a strained whisper. “It’s just… this was exactly how it started back then. The same moments, the same feelings, and then…” His voice broke, a haunted look creeping into his eyes as the memories clawed their way to the surface. “And then it all just fell apart the moment she left without a word.”

Wooyoung’s expression softened, his gaze filled with something close to sympathy, but there was no pity there, only an understanding forged through years of friendship. “Joong,” he said softly, leaning even closer as if he could bridge the distance that Hongjoong had placed between himself and everyone around him. “So what if some things feel familiar? They’re not the same person, are they? You’re not the same person, either.”

Hongjoong clenched his jaw, a flicker of anger sparking in his chest as he searched for a way to deflect, to deny the truth in Wooyoung’s words. “It’s… it’s not like that, Woo. You don’t get it.” His voice grew sharper, frustration edging his tone as he tried to hold onto the walls he’d built.

Wooyoung shook his head, a small, knowing smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Really? Because it doesn’t look that way to me.”

Hongjoong looked away, his gaze hardening as he stared at the floor. “It’s not that simple, okay? You don’t know what it’s like to… to risk everything and then lose it.”

Wooyoung sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Hongjoong, I may not know exactly what you went through, but I do know one thing: you’re letting something from the past dictate your future. And that’s not fair. Not to you, and definitely not to her.”

Hongjoong’s shoulders sagged, the fight draining out of him as he felt the weight of Wooyoung’s words settle over him. Part of him wanted to argue, to cling to the fears that had kept him guarded for so long, but another part—a part he’d buried deep—knew that Wooyoung was right.

“What if I let myself try?” His voice was barely above a whisper, his words laden with the weight of years of doubt and self-preservation. “What if… what if I take that risk, and she ends up leaving?”

Wooyoung’s gaze softened, and he leaned forward, resting a reassuring hand on Hongjoong’s shoulder. “Joong, if she’s really the person you believe she is… then maybe it’s a risk worth taking. Because people leave, yeah. They walk away. But the ones who matter, the ones who are meant to stay—they won’t go anywhere.”

“You’re saying I should just… trust that?” His voice wavered, the question more for himself than for Wooyoung, as if he needed to convince himself that he could still believe in something other than his own fears.

Wooyoung’s mouth curved into a gentle, understanding smile. “Yeah. Trust it. Don’t let something that’s already gone keep you from what could be right here, right now.”

“What if I let her in? What if I let her see the real me? What if it’s not enough?”

“Then you fight for her,” Wooyoung replied. “You show her every day that she’s enough. You fight for her instead of running away. You have to be brave enough to take the risk, Joong. And if she does leave, at least you’ll know you tried. You can’t live in the shadow of your past forever.”

“But what if she sees me as weak?” Hongjoong countered, bitterness lacing his tone. “What if she thinks I’m broken?”

“Then you show her that even broken pieces can fit together to make something beautiful,” Wooyoung shot back. “You’ve built this wall around yourself, but you’re just hurting the one person who’s tried to break through. You need to trust her. You need to let her help you. She wants to be there for you, but you have to meet her halfway.”

The truth of those words echoed painfully in Hongjoong’s mind. He had been running, terrified of the vulnerability that came with love, terrified of the chance that he could be left once more. But he could feel the edges of that fear beginning to fray under the weight of his guilt, unraveling with every word Wooyoung spoke.

“You can’t let the past dictate your present, Hongjoong,” Wooyoung said, his voice softer now, a mixture of empathy and frustration. “You can’t keep running away from what you feel. If you do, you’ll end up losing her, and it’ll be your fault.”

Hongjoong’s heart raced as he thought of you—how you had lit up his life in ways he never thought possible. How your laughter had become a soothing balm to his weary soul. He couldn’t keep ignoring the truth that was staring him in the face. The realization washed over him like a cold wave. “What am I supposed to do?” Hongjoong whispered.

“Fight for her, Joong. Show her that you’re not afraid. Be honest with her, and don’t let fear win this time.” Wooyoung leaned closer. “She deserves that much, at the very least. Fight for her—before it’s too late.”

“But what if it already is?”

🪞 — lividstar.

[cosmicangel888]

End Of Year Reflection ~ 3D - 5D

As we are reaching our end of year, in the process of your own unique evolution - and that really is the only reason why you are here;

What is it that you want for you? Unless you are radically honest and truthful with you - the Universe cannot provide for you and offer the situations and experiences until you align there.

What beliefs are you ready to scrap, let go of and bring in new design of who you are, what you are worthy of, and what is giving to you and what is simply just taking - what is ruthlessly scavenging from you regardless of what you say, how many boundaries you set, and what and how many times you have made it clear what you want, need and desire?

Your reality is up to you - and when you truly are firm to not let in what is disrespecting of you - not matching in morals, or values and energies of giving and taking and receiving -

Then you can more aptly discern what is for you and what is simply not on the same page; you can agree to disagree and simply move on - it is not your job to awaken another, or wait for them to wake up, or hold yourself back, or believe that they are not doing everything in thier power to hold you back - you will know when you know and then thus, move on; not everyone is meant to be on your ride with you.

I have made it clear over many years and providing much help to those that simply don't care, and only want to take from me; take my light, copy from me, take the gifts or skills and most insanely somehow think they play God to switch destinies in the ego and arrogance one may conjure with negative entities, sacrifice and make promises with whomever to think anyone has and does play God over any other multi-verse planned experience is quite mind-boggling, but that is how ego, selfishness, the 7 deadly sins work -

Remember; what is before you is your proof - if there aint no one there - that is your proof - in the good, bad, ugly, who was there for you and what was given? Were you supported and uplifted or were you taught what unkindness was all about?

Giving yourself the allowance to move on;

Were you taken from even when you had nothing and were you shown compassion and so on when you only gave and showed the way? What and who was there for you and kept their word and spoke only truth? You will have the evidence before you - and what is not will be shown; You can have compassion and kindness for someone from afar but you do not have to compromise your life in any way to work around another's nefarious lacking and deceit when they are not doing the inner work to heal - discern when to let go and move on; not all will want nor need you, nor even be able to value what you are and offer - so be ok with that -

2023 ~ Who Are You - what is your dream for 2023 for you - inner = outer - allow yourself to ponder what spiritual advances, enhancements, and upleveling can you inspire;

inspiration, expression, experience, and purposeful mindfulness and peace, calm, joyful - (did you notice nothing about stuff and things, or size of your waist?)

if the inner is rich - all else falls into place - this is our healing and know all is purposeful - so let yourself and others off the hook - God is and stand firm in saying what works and what does not and be ok to set strong boundaries on those that don't get you, don't get your boundaries or respect it - you can seek moving away and beginning anew and release what is no longer matching in regards to respect and intention and work effort -

To now know yourself so much so that you would commit crime and debauchery to create something and take from another when ones own blessing is within - and why I have been teaching, offering, and being of good will to give so much that most guides on our planet would never offer as much as I do for free - but I care - I care that all will know at some level - you must face what you have created and true vibrational honesty will always prevail -

Now I know what to offer and to whom, and sever all ties with those that constantly use, abuse, and disrespect what is sacred - those are my standards and boundaries and none shall cross - no amount of spell work and conjuring will awaken; spirit is simple, pure, true and it will always prevail -

For the remaining days of 2022. I celebrate all that I have moved through with celebration to my divine ancestors, tribes, and celestial legions of light. By the thousands we walk - and I know I am held so dearly and with love; I thank you all - for sharing and Caring so deeply for me my unseen tribe of love!

The past is done, gone, and released - Spirit is the judgment now on all that have taken part in the acts that have been - spirit misses nothing and all have chosen with your highest selves, soul, your teams, and the karma board what will unveil; - God is the distributor of such -

I have been on my own, celibate, hard working mom; for over 12 years and doing everything in my power to legally complete this divorce that has been holding me in place and back from the liberation and freedom I deserve - the stories, or lies about me from those that do not even know me, are their own karma to heal, for I have given far too much to such low vibrational messes I had nothing to do with -

I understand the intrigue, but the abuse, the stealing, using my name, and using me without my permission or knowledge is crossing so many legal boundaries and it ceases; as spirit directed over 6 months ago - There has been the most profound discrimination and injustice and truly now will be a part of re-writing much of the ways in which corruption took place due to the abuse of power and energy and resources by those that knew the systems and how to manipulate through shapeshifting, narcism, and mental mind games -

I am on my own, do not have a partner, am focussed on my divorce, and starting my life over without any of the disruption and baggages of bitter pain, suffering of the past 12 years - I release it all to Source and feel so very happy Spirit has freed me - in my own equal matching of intention -

The past shall never return, nor will it be offered an invitation, nor will it ever be a wish to revisit in any way - the damage has been done, bridges are done, and gone, door is closed; all must now create your own plans to heal - so no other is a subject to what is and can be healed- over means over. no means No. If you wish to give me and offer me something - if your intentions are pure - then speak to my lawyer - it must go through a lawyer - I am no longer dealing with such experiences - all has been said 1 million times,.

Forgiveness yes, none will return nor will the door be reopened.

I have spoken truth from day 1 and there has been nothing but mockery and blaspheme made of me, my work, my name, and those that walk after me - and my work has stood for itself - the selfishness of those in lack, greed, limitation, and not even having the inner sense of love to look within and k knowing this would resolve all of your problems that you constantly look to others to make your life better - all is purposeful but Spirit will keep bringing towers until you each go within -

We are each here to raise the vibration within and take our planet to new heights; mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually ~ all must do their own inner work;

none have the right to hold anyone back through mental, emotional or financial, physical manipulation, trickery, deceit or spell work

none have the right to taunt, block, thwart, play any act of interference to anyone other than thyself - and spirit when you ask will work with you equally to clear the way of every single entity and being taking from you and taking advantage of you unjustly  ©

We are each here to create, write new 5D laws - that will honour, value, respect our multi-dimensional experience and those that will as each open to their gifts, have ever experienced devils in the most grotesque form; and how to navigate such fears and conjuring of those that seek the light from others without working through their own stuff; or covens, witches, or others cults that seek to take, pull, create chaos, smoke and mirrors to than be of benevolent assistance for humanity and spirituality - all will be unveiled of what protection they think they have and spirit will show each what conjuring they have created  ©

All must face what each has created - for the very lesson of our universal laws that every aspect of life is subject to - there is no act of anyone; regardless of what one believes themselves to be; we are all on this planet now being taught; either respect energy and how, what, it is intended or face what you conjure; we simply must learn this law - and great imbalances have been done, there has been much deep and insanely unnecessary harm, loss, damage due to the disrespect and abuse of energy and gifts; and it is being shown to all -

be very discerning how you use your gifts, skills and intention - none are above the laws of the universe and all have guides, souls, and teams that all answer to the most high - Source, God, is all within the knowing, being-ness of God - all report and are God - legions of beings assuring of this assembly -

And not to be of fear of - but why corruption and unnecessary violence will be a thing of the past - for all would never want to continually face what I have the past 5 yrs. It is not anything I would wish anyone - and when your gifts awaken - it is like being in a dark nasty jail - with demons and devils constantly feeding off of you and your intention to serve - come at you in any way to scare and taunt you to react - corrupt selfish minds - that have no access to inner love for they have sacrificed it away

All must go within and learn of such or not - but what reality each choose will be the exact = to what you intended for another - none escape this - it is your own intention and vibration - truth is truth, and whatever is not - will be before you.

This is your greatest lesson

https://www.amazon.ca/Ascension-Path-Work-Pocket-Guide/dp/1546498591/ref=sr_1_1?crid=34069XDB7NMP3&keywords=ascension+path+work%2C+pocket+guide&qid=1660319808&sprefix=%2Caps%2C719&sr=8-1

know you simply can let it all go and allow all to level up. that is their job not yours - and those that feel you simply would have never had a life without them, allow them to see and feel what life is like without you - all are meant to level up and learn self love

Give yourself permission to move on - let it go and just move on

Heal yourself - the mantra for you this year - think of ones that are daily and loving, and helping you return to self love and self value - from which higher resonant choices will be made - for the greater good - then you know you feel better and in your own truth - not surrendering to another's will of you

Liberate yourself - reclaim your power, voice and choice - it is yours to do and be so =

Self love is the most profound loving act and none can do your inner work for you - you cannot awaken and have all your shadow work done in a month, even a year -

The cycles of ascension, expansion are constant - so step up and hold yourself high =

Blessings for all this end of year - love is

What is your intention- before every choice - what is your intention -

Pure of heart - love is, oneness is

Joanna

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[pikslasrce]

the moment i knew i was coming to terms with the idea that i might be bi was when that guy i went to coffee w asked if there was some guy, or girl bc i quote 'he didnt know what i was into' and i felt such a high like ive been riding it the whole way home

i mean girlie u dont feel flattered to be perceived a certain way if ur not. yknow. that certain thing. silly me amirite

[forgottenroderick]

thelongforgottenrealm so i think that there are so good ideas here!!! I think the idea of just this cycle of life/death/rebirth and possible belief in reincarnation, too, might work w/ just how roderick views the world??? and perhaps, this idea that he might be reborn again, after death, makes him even MORE hesitant to select an heir?? especially if like ... they think that god's ~chosen~ or whatever could potentially be resurrected with his old lives memories in tack or soemthing idk ... basically roderick seeing himself LITERALLY rising the ashes of his own death one day or something?? and maybe he also thinks he is on some holy war to cleanse the world from false religions and bring about the way of the one true god and he is here to burn the world and see it reborn again in the way of the truth faith? i also love that it is a religious thing to burn witches in order to purify them again lasjflsajfj forgottenroderick @thelongforgottenrealm elizabeth, i am OBSESSED w the idea that roderick isn't just symbolically choosing himself over his kids by refusing to select an heir, but LITERALLY doing so bc ~he might be reincarnated and will want his empire back!!! laksjdfkljsjlf ooooh and the chosen being resurrected w his old memories!!! roderick def like 'that's me!!!!!' laskjdfkljdsf and lowkey tryna pretend to himself that he 'remembers' calainons life or smth slkdjfksljdf omg now im TBC like 'what if there was another charge the varmonts ~used to use but roderick made it the phoenix to represent HIMSELF ;lfjlkasdjfk and yesssss i agreeeee i feel like he's def on that crusade to purge the world of other religions and ensure that the one true god, HIS god (lowkey himself shhhh ;D but he'd burn you for blasphemy for suggesting it!) is the one the ppl worship!!!! this is the dignity and the civilization he offers these heathen heretics in his midst!!! sdakl

i feel like this could all inter-relate w the 'with greater faith, i rise from the flames' (paraphrased idr the exact wording off the top of my head -- i apologize! roderick WOULD kill me on the spot for this shameful neglect lakjsdfkljsdjf ok i went and checked: i was indeed mistaken [ with stronger faith i will arise from the fire ] ok now on to the rest of it! roderick would not let me rest laksdjfkljdsf) in a v intricate way bc its legit a repetition both of their belief system (death as life renewed etc), but also of their implacability like roderick???? say what you will abt him, once he's made up his mind he aint a quitter!! he wiLL conquer you slkjdfkljsdf (why did i phrase this like it was a good thing at the start alksjdfkjsdf not the roderick brainrot hahahaha anywayyy lajsdkfljsdf)

i can even see them having a god who died/was reborn a la osiris or odin or zagreus or christ and/or perhaps even an orpheus guiding the soul of eurydice from the underworld (but presumably it worked) type of thing/god as a psychopomp, like, descended into the afterlife, but came back stronger having passed through death into life again and thus showing the mortal soul how to do it too basically w the presumable belief that the mortal soul ~also comes back stronger after each death? and perhaps the afterlife is full of cleansing fire, a sweet fire that scours the soul and ~hardens it like fire forges a sword, kind of thing? but renewed life renewed tempers it like water w the sword analogy, and on and on it goes till one is fit to take their place beside the one god (or else presumably burn forever in slightly less sweet flames ig laskjdfkjsldf)

im also guessing, then, that viking funerals, aka involving both fire and water, may be a thing for these guys? tho that tends to go w a seafaring culture and i don't think that the og varmont nation are that...it may also be that, like...iirc, lizzy and i had discussed in [ the roderick/alaric thread ] the possibility that this particular religion is actually more a thing wherever their mom came from, and maybe roderick kinda mingled the traditions of his two parents, so it could've been that their mom's was a more maritime culture, too? idk alsjkdfkjldsf

anyway i def had more thoughts when i started writing this but they've flown now so here have a thing ig??? this is all over the place laksdjflkdsjf i agolozie alksjdfkjldsf

OOC | Varmont Belief System Thoughts

sooooo im having some frankly insane ideas abt Roderick’s belief system thanks to the Phoenix iconography (like…boiled down roderick might legit worship death effectively a la the faceless men of braavos in asoiaf/got?!!?!! Though in a slightly more life/death ying/yang creation through destruction kinda way a la dark!motto ‘in my end is my beginning’ sorta way idk Sfjkhffg HELPPP!) and before I get too carried away bc idk if we need a death cult emperor 😂😭 ummmm I wondered if you had any thoughts abt the varmont faith/the one god/etc adhkkjgdgh

ok so!!! this all comes out of the symbolism of the phoenix married to the whole ~fire focus in both that and in...well, roderick's actions laksdjfkljsdf so here're some ideas i have which may or may not be any good klsdjfkalsdflkj

creation through destruction as repped by phoenix.

burning witches cleanses them, releasing their lifeforce out into the world clean and pure.

perhaps reincarnation a la phoenix or perhaps destruction and death creates new souls and life etc????

Phoenix flames, sun, light, fire — dichotomy of light/dark, good/evil — Astaira and the staffords literally take the night as their standard (three stars in the night sky) and worship demons, conquest cleanses etc

oooh maybe infuse Phoenix w Renaissance salamander motifs — immune to fire and poison etc

ok so mary queen of scotts, her motto (as mentioned above) was 'in my end is my beginning' by which she meant as a catholic that yknow she'd go to her reward in heaven etc but what if such a concept were present in like...a more ~ouroboros kinda way as represented by the phoenix

so the ouroboros is an ancient egyptian symbol of a serpent rounding on itself to eat its own tale, which representing basically...unity and the natural eternal cycle of destruction and re-creation

in ancient egypt, this meant...oof ok so not to get ~too bogged down in ancient egyptian spiritualism/philosophy which is its own huuuge topic needless to say hahahaha but they had two really bit concepts that i think could impact us here: the tension between chaos (bad) and order (good) w their god-emperor maintaining that balance and the belief that without him there to do that everything would collapse into deadly chaos AND that...in essence...the soul was split into parts, w basically like...life force which was also a familial essence being a part of the soul that recurred in the world, and personality being part that was ~just you that would go to its ultimate judgment after death

there is also the ancient saying 'death is the only god who comes when you call' right

so!!!! w the ouroboros and phoenix symbols being connected (cycles of life, death, rebirth), what if we basically connect cleaning fire w order (i know, i know!) bc...you can summon a fire, right, you can make that you can't really make earth yknow...so its ~controllable even tho we don't think abt it that way like...i swear this can work ;DDDDD as a cleansing, controllable, destructive force that gives birth to new life (after a forest fire new life bursts from the ashes in a way that it doesn't w say a flood or a drought yknow) and yeahhhh idk!!!!!!!

anyway lmk if this makes any sense/is any good as sort of a foundation for our one god religion??????? cause i feel like maybe this one is just...maybe one bridge too far? ;alskdjfkljdsf ;DDD

[jellycreamjammedart]

The only thing more annoying than hearing your alarm in the morning, is hearing SOMEONE ELSE'S alarm.

Terry McGinnis

[yanderelovlies]

I mean- giving Bo head and him pounding you aint a bad idea tho 👀 if you dont mind ofc- take ur time gurl

god i want Bo to breed me lowkey........anyway i got you love

🔪THIS FIC IS 18+ AGELESS AND BLANK BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED 🔪

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You've learned many things while sleeping with Bo, and one of them was to always make sure you were not going into work the next day when you wanted to suck on his dick. Something about the act drove him feral, and by the end of it you could barely move. Since you had tomorrow off you decided on your way home that you didn't want to walk tomorrow either.

Walking into your apartment you see bo sitting on the couch, head tilted back as soft snores come from him. Ah he was asleep…even better.

You quietly put your things down then snuck your way to him. Once in front of him you got down on your knees so you were staring hungrily at his dick straight on.  No longer able to wait, you undone his pants, and pulled both his pants and boxers down allowing his semi hard cock come out. He must be dreaming of you…might as well make it a reality. You began by kissing up his shaft till you got to the tip.  You then licked down his shaft continuing the process till his dick was fully hard. 

Since Bo has always been too big for you to handle on your own you slowly took what you could in your mouth, and once you started a pace you had a hand come up and wrap around what you couldnt fit. You could hear the whines that left him as he shifted a bit as your pace began to pick up.You could feel pride bubble in your chest knowing that you were making me like this, but that was slightly replaced by fear when you felt something on the back of your head pushing it down making you take more of him in your mouth.

“A-aah! Puppy….i need to feel more of you.”

You relaxed realizing it was just Bo finally waking up from your mistrastions. You scooted up closer to him, your hands finding themselves gripping on to his jeans as you head came closer and closer to his hips, and his further further down your sweet tight throat. You felt the hand on the back of your head grab a fist full of your hair. Using that grip to pull you off his cock, looking up at him. His usual cheery demeanor no longer visible as pure lust, and need took over.

“Couldn't wait huh puppy….You needed a good fucking that bad?”

You whimpered as you nodded your head the best you could. Bo smirked down at you pleased by how truthful you were.

“Dont worry puppy……Ill fuck you so hard you wont be able to THINK of anything else.”

He kept that promise that night. Once your mouth was around his dick again he used his grip on your hair to move at a pace he wanted. Sometimes he would keep your face squished to his pelvis, while his cock was down your throat. It felt so nice to have his dick wrapped around your warm tight throat. He would pull you off to allow you to breath for a bit before face fucking you once again. 

“G-God puppy! Your throat is so fucking..t-tight!”

“Im gonna..paint you white…so everyone knows who..you belong to!”

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!”

Due to his knot he can't cum down your pretty throat like he wants to, but that just makes him quick to take you off his cock, into his arms, and throw you onto your bed. He takes off his clothes on his way to you, then all but rips off your clothes throwing them somewhere.

“I'm gonna fill you up so much puppy!” 

he takes his dick and lines it up with your entrance slowly pushing himself into you.

“We are gonna have so many litters after this.”  

This was the last time he was soft with you that night . Once he was fully seated in you he fully pulled himself out once again before slamming into you making you back arch moaning his name. His long thick cock hitting every sweet spot with every thrust making you see stars. You could hear the bed creak and crack with each powerful thrust. He was making sure to fuck you into the bed. Making sure you will only be thinking about him.making sure you NEED him. 

“F-fuck take it! Take it all, p-puppy!”

“I-I can't wait to see you full with my pups.”

“F-ffuuucck!...so tightttttt.”

When you started to feel like you were ready to cum Bo stops making you cry out.

“N-now now…be patient puppy…you might like this.”

Bo moves back a bit before grabbing the back of your knees, and folds you in half. Once he enters you again you could feel every inch until it hit your cervix. Tears began to stream down your face as he began thrusting into you again. As each thrust became harder and more rough you could feel your eyes cross, and tongue hang out as drool dripped down and slid between your bodies. As he watched the drool go down he noticed a bulge in your stomach right where his dick would be. He pressed down on the bulge making you squirm, arch your back, and moan loudly.

“God look at you….already a slut for my cock.”

“Your insides will be in the shape of my cock. Now and forever!”

As much as he would love to keep this going he needs to cum in you so bad. He NEEDED to see you full of his cum. Full of his pups. Full of HIM. Not long after that his thrust became quicker and sloppier and his hand reached between your bodies rubbing sloppy circles on your clit.

“Cum with me p-puppy Cum…With…MMMEEEE”

Feeling his knot inside you causing white hot pleasure to course through you as you could feel yourself cum alongside him.

Bo collapsed on top of you still buried inside you due to his knot. You couldn't feel anything but the pleasure still coursing through your veins. This was exactly what you needed, and it made you excited for the next 10 rounds of that night.