#GOD I SWEAR I CAN DRAW. REAL THINGS. FOR REAL AND NOT JOKES

[drusies]

couldnt stop fucking thinking about this all day at work

[memelordvio]

One aspect of having Tourette’s Syndrome that I don’t see many people talk about is how it makes being transfem more difficult. My Tourette’s is pretty severe, I can’t go ten seconds without twitching or hitting myself or barking or swearing loudly.

Everywhere I go people treat me like a freak. When people stare at me logically I know it’s because I just involuntarily told a stranger to fuck off, but all I can think is ‘Oh god they’re glaring at me because I don’t pass and they can tell I’m not a real girl.’ And even when I dismiss that fear the very next thought is ‘yeah it’s the ticcing that caught their attention but now they’re watching me, it’s only a matter of time until they realise that’s not the only unusual thing about me.’

It makes it literally impossible to go unnoticed without drawing attention to myself like so many of us try to do.

It’s scary enough using the women’s bathroom as a trans girl with low self confidence, but it’s even scarier when you know you could yell “PENIS!” at any moment and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop it. It’s not exactly ladylike.

I’m every TERF’s worst nightmare lol.

I try my best to make jokes about it and not let it get to me but it’s like two different reasons for strangers to harass me and treat me like I’m not even human.

I know I shouldn’t be ashamed of being a ticcing tranny, I’m still learning to love myself. 💜

[drjholtzmann]

this is dreamling more than dead boy detectives but it's been in my head since reading issue #25 after s1 of sandman. so, now feels like a good time to release it into the world. i just want them all to get in each others way

(season of mists spoilers)

------------

It’s not often that Hob smokes. It’s an expensive habit, and secondhand smoke and all that. But it’s hardly going to kill him, so he’s usually got an ancient pack on hand somewhere. Handy, especially in situations like this. Not that there’s ever been a situation like this before but, well. You live long enough. 

He slips out into the beer garden of the pub, lighting up almost absent mindedly, the action still muscle memory. 

“What the fuck,” he mutters, rubbing his thumb along his lower lip, “what the fuck. Dream, if you have bloody anything to do with this, I swear to god, Morpheus. What the fucking fuck.” He closes his eyes, lets his head fall back against the brickwork. Despite it all he huffs an exhausted laugh. Because sure. Of course. Yeah, why not. Of course this would happen. “Jesus Christ, Morpheus. Even if this isn’t you, bloody… fucking wish I could just ask.” It’s all said barely above a whisper. Just in case. Always just in case. He blindly ashes his cigarette and heaves out a heavy breath, “Lord above,” he scoffs, raising the cigarette to his lips again. 

“Hob?”

Hob startles, eyes snapping open, head knocking back sharply against the brick. “Fuck – ow – Dream?” He raises his free hand to rub the back of his head, wincing slightly. “That, uh… that worked better than expected.” 

“You were calling for me?”

“Yeah… sorta. I didn’t… think it worked like that. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You did not. I had thought briefly of you.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Hob grins. “How come? You miss me already?”

Morpheus sends him a withering look. 

“I, um… dreamt of you. While ago. Was that – real?”

“It was.”

He nods, thumb nervously tapping the filter of his cigarette. “Uh huh. Figured. With the wine, and…” he trails off. The hollow feeling of that dream, or rather, of that waking coming back to him in full force. “You said some ominous shit. Then I said some ominous shit. Was that real, too?”

Morpheus nods solemnly. 

“Right. Don’t suppose you’ll explain that?” Morpheus remains silent. “Right. Course not. Things okay, though? Now? I mean,” he gestures to his friend, “you’re here. That must be good, yeah?”

“Yes. And no.”

“Great. Fab.”

“What I thought I was facing has… changed.”

“...’kay. Well, can I ask you a question?”

Morpheus pauses but, after a moment, nods.

“S’it got anything to do with the dead kids hanging out in my pub?”

“What?”

“Yeah, couple of boys who look like they should definitely be in school – about, oh, fifty years ago. At least.”

Morpheus’ eyes don’t actually widen in alarm, but there is something to that effect happening… not quite in his expression, but in his aura, perhaps. Hob gets the feeling that if he were a cat the fur along his spine would be standing on end. 

“So… it is related?” 

“Perhaps.”

“Definitely, then.” Hob takes a short puff of his cigarette. 

“Show me?” 

“Uh… I don’t know if they know that people can see them. I don’t know if people who aren’t me can see them, actually. So just, um…” the caution dies in his throat as he realises who it is he’s talking to. Morpheus will do what he will, Hob’s advice be damned. 

Dream draws close, peering in through the windowpane of the door back into the pub. “How do you know?”

“You get pretty good at feeling when things are off once you’ve been around the block six hundred years or so. Also, they walked in through the closed front door. As in, passed right through the solid wood and glass.”

“I see.”

“Why are they here?” 

“To sample your fine selection of craft beer, perhaps?”

“Oh, he’s joking,” Hob has joined his side in peering not-so-surreptitiously through the door. “‘Mortal plane’ here, not here-here.”

“Death must have been busy… It is not like her to leave a job unfinished without good reason.”

“Must’ve…? What the fuck could be so horrific that Death is being kept busy?”

Morpheus, beside him, is silent. Deadly still. And it tells Hob all he needs to know. 

“Dream,” he hisses, “what the fuck is this? What’s going on?”

There is a long pause. “I ought not to tell you.” Dream murmurs, still facing the glass panel of the door.

“And I ought not have two dead teenagers in my pub. All things relative.” 

“They are causing no harm.”

“I don’t doubt that. It’s you I’m worried about now.”

“Your concern is of no use. What I mean is that they are no poltergeists, not aggressive, there seems to be nothing demonic about them.”

“Which means… there are poltergeists and demons running about at the mo?”

“I told you, I ought not say. There are diplomatic proceedings to take place.”

“You get that that makes even less sense, yeah?”

Dream seems to, at last, with an almighty eye roll, give in. “Hell is closed,” he hisses, turning to face Hob directly. 

“Hell is closed.” Hob repeats back, dumbfounded. “And that means… The devils are all here?”

“Precisely.”

“But the boys… aren’t devils?”

“They are not.”

“Okay. That’s good news. And the devils?”

Dream shrugs, sharp and languid. “Anywhere. Everywhere.”

“Great. Okay. Less good. Very much less good. So, uh. What… do I do? Am I supposed to exorcise them? Because, I have to be honest – would really rather not do that.” 

“You are under no obligations.”

“Oh.” 

“They could not be here without Death’s knowledge or her say-so. She will come for them in time.”

“Oh.” Inexplicably, Hob’s heart sinks a little.

“They are not alive, Hob.” Dream says, looking him in the eye. “They cannot live forever as the dead.” 

“Hm. Yeah. S’pose.” He looks through the windowpane at the two boys, chatting animatedly at a corner table out of the way. “They’re just kids, though. Barely got a normal life.”

“You cannot save them, Hob.”

“Why not?”

“You cannot. They may not be destined for Hell, but that doesn’t mean they can stay amongst the living.” 

“Says who?”

“The universe. Death, herself.”

Hob smirks, tilting his head down a fraction to look up at Dream from under a quirked brow. “You know what I think of Death.”

And Hob catches the tension at the corner of Dream’s mouth that he knows, whatever he might say to the contrary, is a suppressed smile. 

“C’mon, what if I just help ‘em live a little? While they’re here?”

“Hob.”

“What?! Can’t a guy be nice?”

“I have meetings to attend to.”

“That’s not a no.” 

“I think it a poor choice to flaunt immortality in front of two who have died so young. I would caution against it.”

“Okay. Fuck, fair point. But they don’t have to know about me. They wouldn’t somehow know, right?”

“I would caution against it, Hob Gadling.”

[miharuki]

I don’t know if you’re taking request, if not then ignore this😭

I am not the person that requested the Ben drowned x reader with Wendy’s personality headcanons but I fell in love with them. I was wondering if you could do more headcanons of it or would you be willing to do headcanon about ben drowned x elf reader (sorry if this is confusing, English isn’t my first language)

Take care ❤️

It's okay angel! My English isn't the best either and it's not my first language

𝕭𝖊𝖓 𝕯𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗!𝕰𝖑𝖋

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 (𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡)

I imagine Ben drowned looking at you as if you were some kind of new bass, in my head, Ben drowned believed that only he and Dark Link were indeed elves, perhaps because of their games, but you understand.

In my headcanon, I don't believe Eyeless Jack has any kind of pointed ears, and if he did, it would be hidden by his hair and hood, and also because it's quite small compared to Ben's and Dark's ears.

He would be a little fascinated, I mean, he never really noticed his own elf ears, but now looking at you, he becomes a bit interested when your ears lower and raise depending on your mood.

I believe he would find it quite cute to see your ears reacting to your mood, perhaps he would say absurd or cheesy things just to see your expression, maybe to see if your pointed ears move with your mood.

COUPLE'S GAME!! Okay, I know he's an assassin and all, but for some reason, maybe having seen drawings or something on the internet, he just wanted to wear couple's earrings with you, and not just any earrings, but earrings that can fill the ears, like elf earrings, those that are big.

Nicknames… I swear to God, if Ben doesn't just flirt about Link and Zelda, kill me, but I believe he will!! And it just won't stop, he might even call you his own Zelda! Maybe even invite you to cosplay.

Ah, but I don't have blonde hair, he doesn't mind, that's what Twilight Princess Zelda is for, she's not blonde, maybe you could do other cosplays if your hair color isn't that of any Zelda.

Perhaps you'll be dubbed "elf couple" because of the ears.

Again, he can be a jerk, so maybe he could make some jokes if you're not lovers or whatever, boyfriends.

"I didn't realize there were people copying me."

In his head, elf people didn't exist, he thought that only existed in fiction, so if you're not from a game, he'll simply be surprised. Maybe something like "So you mean those childish crap is real?!"

He'll be surprised if you're not from a Zelda game.

If your ears are a bit bigger than Ben's, I believe if you're not lovers, he would tease about it, maybe with something like "That's not elf ear, it's elephant ear!" Even if it's just 1 cm bigger than his ears.

Absolutely! Nicknames related to Zelda got a thousand times stronger, good luck with that.

[1toreyouapart]

The Lies We Tell

***FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. MDNI. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE***

Summary that tells you nothing: Sometimes everything you ever wanted has been right there, within reach, all along.

CW/TW: Angst, fluff, swearing, friends to lovers, jealousy, smut, fingering, PinV, pet names, friends with benefits, more to come as I actually get things written out.

Masterlist

Misunderstandings

“Dinner tonight?”

Quinn read over the message, smiling. Things were semi normal again. Her and Noah hadn’t spent much time just hanging out like they used to, but that would come in time. When she was no longer scared of the dreaded conversation where he would for sure tell her that it meant nothing. That he just hadn’t been with anyone in too long, or some stupid shit. The whole “it’s not you, it’s me” shit men did.

“Quinn! We need you out here! Busy as fuck and we’re down another. Brianna just had to leave. Her kid is sick.”

Fuck. They were already slammed at the pub. Some big sports event. And they were already down three people. This night couldn’t get any worse. Four hours and she was just now getting a break. Slipping her phone back into her pocket she jumped up, ready to face the hell that awaited her.

“On it, Lei! How bad?”

“We’ve got a three top, seven top, and an eight top that all just got sat in her section. Plus five more that just sat at the bar.”

Well, shit. How in the fuck did Leilani expect her to cover those tables and her bar? Something was bound to get fucked up. Call it a gut feeling. Or intuition. Or whatever the fuck. She just knew she was going to fuck something up.

Her phone rang, briefly drawing her attention. Quick glance showed Noah calling. She didn’t have time right now. Work was too crazy. Sending it to voicemail she slipped it back in her pocket. She could call him back when she got an actual break.

Into the hellfire she went.

***

Seven hours. She had been waiting tables and running the bar on the busiest night they had ever had for six hours. Over her time. Should have been home hours ago. Instead now she was sitting out front of the place, exhausted, next to Leilani. She knew she should go home. But God that cigarette she was smoking smelled divine right then. Made her wish she had never quit.

“Thank you for tonight. When I divide up the tips at the end of the night you’re getting extra in your tip box.”

All she could do was nod at her boss. Far too tired to speak. Sighing she pulled out her phone, only then realizing that she had never responded to Noah when the first thing she saw was his unanswered text. Then the missed call and the voicemail. Nervous she clicked the play button on the voicemail, bringing the phone up to her ear.

“Quinn, I swear to fucking God. You are the most infuriating little terror pixie I’ve ever fucking met. You’ve made your goddamn point.”

What the fuck was he on about? What point did he think she was making? She was at work for fucks sake! Just when she thought things were starting to return to normal he goes and accuses her of something she didn’t even fucking do?

Irritated she reached out, snatching the cigarette from Leilani, taking a long drag off of it. Fuck, she had missed this. The way the smoke filled her lungs, the relief as she exhaled the smoke. How the tobacco tasted on her tongue. The ashen woodiness of the flavor erasing the stress of the day.

“What if I called in tomorrow?” She chuckled, passing the cigarette back.

“I would say take the day off and we’ll just have to manage without you. You were an absolute rockstar tonight.”

“Lei, I was joking.”

“I’m not.”

Quinn paused. There was some kind of catch. There had to be. She had been working there for years, doing the same thing too many times to count, without so much as a “Hey, thanks for covering our asses!” What was she up to?

“Listen,” Lei continued, weariness settling into her voice. “I can see it plain as day because I’m currently experiencing it. You have burn out happening. Take tomorrow. Have a mental health day. Seriously.”

Burn out was the last thing she would use to describe what she was feeling right then, but she would take it. It was more akin to a royal pain in her ass that was either currently waiting for her at home or still working himself. God, she hoped he was still working. It was just late enough that everyone else would be asleep when she got home. And being alone with Noah was the last thing that she should be doing.

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @mrscevans @supersquirrel1996

[normal-internet-user]

Hello! Can I plz ask for the ROTTMNT brothers (separately) react to their s/o being cute and innocent? Like they love watching animated movies, become a blushing mess if there's a kissing scene or in real life, love to draw, cook/bake, and dance, also are curious about everything. Oh, and they don't understand dirty jokes and if someone curses they put a hand over their mouth and look flabbergasted. They also are shorter than them and have small hands.

THIS IS GONNA BE SO CUTE I'M CRYING!!

RISE BOY'S WITH AN INNOCENT S/O

Mikey:

Oh mi gosh,

You two are the most wholesome couple this side of anywhere.

Literally two peas in a pod.

Disney movies every movie night,

You bake together,

You draw together,

And he loves watching you dance around.

One of your favorite things to do is to walk around the city at night,

Just to see what you'll find.

He loves how easily flustered you are,

He thinks it's just the cutest!

Mikey thinks it's hilarious how shocked you get when someone swears.

You'd think someone just killed your grandmother!

The first time it happened is a treasured memory for the whole family.

Leo had fallen off his skateboard and smacked his face on the ground.

"Shit!"

*Le gasp* "Language! Oh my gosh!"

Everyone just kinda looked at you then started laughing.

Mikey loves how much shorter than him you are.

I mean sure, it's only a few inches,

But he likes to rest his head ontop of your's.

Leo loves to make "That's what she said" jokes around you,

Mikey hates it,

He's scared you'll lose your innocence.

But everytime Leo goes, "That's what she said!"

You'll just look at him and say, "That's what who said? Who is 'She'? And why won't anyone tell me for gosh sake??"

"I'll tell you when you're older Cutie Pie."

You and Mikey are literally the sweetest couple, like, ever!

Donnie:

He finds your innocence impressive.

With the excistence of the internet,

He assumed there were no innocent teenagers left.

But you are on a whole new level of innocent.

And he thinks it's adorable.

Donnie does his best to shield you from Leo's jokes,

Because he is not about to let you be ruined by his brothers' crude sense of humor.

So imagine his surprise when you come ask him what one of these jokes mean.

He looks at you,

Then sighs,

You look at him confused as he stands up and grabs his tech bo

"NARDO!"

*Que screaches of fear*

Donnie loves that you dance too.

You guys have small disco parties every Saturday night.

He also loves how naturally curious you are,

Because it usually leads to him answering your endless questions about a ceratain topic.

But he doesn't mind.

He likes it when you ask him questions.

He also thinks its adorable how easily you get flustered.

Especially when it's over something as little as a movie scene.

He will tease you,

Just to fluster you even more.

And holy truffle mac & cheese,

You're so small!!

He has a habbit of resting his elbow on your head.

Kinda like how he leans on his tech bo.

You'll usually wave him off, and grab his hand instead.

Raph:

Raph loves your innocent nature.

It just plays into how sweet you are,

And Raph loves him some sugar.

He's more than happy to participate in your hobbies,

Especially if it means you're trying to teach him something new.

You just look so cute when you're concetrating!

Like Donnie,

He does his best to keep you from Leo's awful jokes,

And like you,

He isn't very fond of swearing.

He'll act just as flabberghasted as you if one of his brothers were to swear.

Like, ExCuSE mE??

WaTcH YoUr MouTh YoUnG MaN!

Now when it comes to how much smaller you are than him,

It really depends on the day for how he feels about it.

On the one hand,

You are so tiny and adorable and he could just hug you for hours like holy crap.

Then on the other hand,

He is terrified he'll hurt you.

Human skin is just so friggin fragile,

And he doesn't want to be the reason you're in pain.

Just make sure your sweet self reassures him,

He'll get over it pretty quick with your help.

Leo:

Oh my god, this boy teases you endlessly.

His favorite thing ever is to make you all flustered and stuff.

Whenever you two watch movies together he'll always pick some cheesy romance flick,

Just so he can watch you hide your face in your shirt whenever something romantic happens.

Leo loves baking with you.

Even if he's only allowed to watch.

(He set the kitchen on fire the last time he tried to actually help and in turn was perma banned from cooking.)

He likes trying all the sweet treats you bake up for everyone.

He also enjoys making jokes he knows you won't understand,

Because you look so cute when you're confused,

Your face gets all scrunched up while you try to figure out the joke,

And to him it's the cutest thing in the world.

Leo likes it when you freak out over swearing,

He thinks its funny.

You'll fan yourself with your hand all taken aback.

And your voice goes up an octave when you adress it,

"PARdon me?"

"I said fuck, (Name)."

"LANGUAGE!"

*Wheeze*

............................................

[moonlitinks]

What Fate Decides [Taehyung x Reader] [Part 3]

join tag list for future works | masterlist of all works previous | next drabble

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 become a member on my ko-fi page! or buy me a coffee 💞

summary: You're a beta in love with your best friend, alpha Kim Taehyung. Except you know that you can never fulfill his dominating urges, so you draw a line between the two of you. Cherish his small kisses and embraces until an omega has to come along.

Until one day, you're not a beta anymore. Now, it's nearly impossible to resist the protective, endearing alpha in front of you.

pairing: taehyung x reader

chapter tags/warnings: angst, fluff, alpha/omega, a/b/o dynamics, best friends to lovers, slow burn ish, smut, mature, swearing

note: sorry for the wait all <3 last part coming in a bit! thank you for being here and reading my works (I am forever grateful). If you want to hang out with me, check out my insta, and if you'd like to donate me a coffee, check out my kofi page!

The accident turned you into an omega.

Okay, that’s kind of a lie. You were a dormant omega, apparently, but now you’re a real one. Or something like that. In truth, your face had been pale, and though the doctor’s mouth was moving, nothing seemed to register. Finally, you had been comfortable with being a Beta. And then suddenly, the world shifts it’s axis, it being Wacky Wednesday or something, and you’re an Omega.

You release a wry laugh. What a joke. 

A joke, because you lost your best friend.

A joke, because you lost your freedom. 

A joke, because you feel as if you just lost everything. 

The door swings open to your studio, and you watch as Taehyung is fumbling outside your doorway, hands in his pockets, peeking up from you from under his bangs. Though you normally wouldn’t think anything of it as a beta, the omega side suddenly sees it as groveling. An alpha hunching over and submitting to his omega. 

Ha. Like you’re his omega. There are thousands of them lined up already, begging for his attention no doubt. Adding yourself to the list among the more experienced, and beautiful, ones is a waste of heartbreak. 

“Do you want to come in?” You hesitate, and his mouth twists as he straightens. He’s tall. 

No surprise there. The only surprise should be that your omega is reacting to his height.

“You’re not on suppressants,” he starts, forming into a mother hen. “You have to be on suppressants.” 

God, you can’t even tell how much time has passed since the accident and he’s already making a list, throwing you into the omega life. And besides, it’s been like a week after you discharged? He was there every day at the hospital, but now that you could walk without any issues, he disappeared? 

“I don’t want to be,” you protest. “Why do I have to? I’ve never—”

Oh. Right. Because you’re different now. You sigh at the thought of the mundane life escaping further from your grasp. “Do I have to, though? Is there no other option around it?” 

That makes Taehyung pause from the doorway, and he turns around. 

“There’s this thing,” he starts, swallowing. “Called scenting. And you have a scent that can draw Alphas—”

“But you smell, too,” you wrinkle your nose. “And nobody attacks you or anything—”

“It’s not safe,” he repeats, but there’s a layer underneath it. Dangerous. Possessive. Raw. He growls, and you melt in his arms. Into a puddle of arousal, with the slick gushing out of you and the way your gut is aching. 

“Omega,” he thunders, and something shifts. He’s inching closer, and in the next moment, Taehyung’s kissing your jaw. Groaning. Murmuring, Omega. Let me scent you.

And you tell him—Yes. And when his mouth covers your gland and sucks, you cry out and clutch his arms.

“Fuck,” Taehyung groans once more. His teeth scrape the back of your neck, where your gland is located, and you babble incoherent words. “Omega. You smell so good. Taste fucking delicious.” 

This is not a good idea. 

But it’s one that your heart wants. 

Taehyung knows he should contain himself. He has to be the alpha that helps his best friend find a suitable companion. But he can’t help but think that you’re his omega, no matter how much he attempts to think otherwise. He doesn’t want to ruin the dynamic he has with you, but goddamn, he’s attuned to every one of your movements. Like the way you’re curled up against him as the movie plays, legs on top of his own, and head leaning against his chest. There are small, barely audible throaty sounds coming from you as you watch the couple fight, clearly disliking it. And he can’t help but wonder how it feels to suck on your gland again until you’re smothered in his scent.

Then he can’t help but imagine you under him, knotted and preening. He already knows you’re vocal with your whimpers and sighs—and if you can’t stop squirming, he’ll pin you to the bed and bite your glands on your wrists… and rut into you. Fuck, he might not even be able to pull out to thrust back in. 

“Taehyung?” You murmur, eyes wide and innocent, most likely catching the way he stared at you. Like he wanted to devour you. 

In return, the alpha mumbles your name and rests his forehead on your shoulder. It’s hell, he thinks, jaw clenching. You’re wearing his hoodie and no shorts under it, and he’s breathing in your lavender scent, mind repeating: this is hell, but also what content is like. 

It’s insane, how much comfort you bring. You brought it as a beta, but you’re also bringing it as an omega. Taehyung kisses your cheek and embraces you, closing his eyes for a second. The fact that you’re alive and breathing under him—that is enough. It’s all he can ever ask of you, to just keep smiling at him. 

There are some things that changed about him. He started—and he knows that you noticed—calling you love, or baby. He buries his head in the crook of your neck constantly, making sure you smell like him and he you. Satisfaction thrums through Taehyung’s veins when he can smell himself on you. 

Knowing that scenting you earlier meant that you belonged to him. That all his members could smell who you belonged to. His Alpha loves it, too, instead of thrashing around and causing anxiety. Finally, his head quiets. No thoughts about coming home, taking care of you, making sure you’re well fed, rings through his mind. 

“I have something to tell you,” he blurts, and you glance up.

Fuck. He can’t take it anymore. Screw company guidelines. Screw what people thinks. He wants you. All of you.

You’re his happiness; there’s no doubt in his mind that fate put you together. 

“I love you,” he murmurs, placing your hand over his chest, directly where your heartbeat is. “You’re everything to me. My whole world. My—”

“Your omega?”

“My omega. Just like I’m yours, too.” 

tags: @theblueslytherin @tatyhend @tinyoonsblog @vsmith0099 @midnightsora @cupcakesxdomjoon @likeshatteredrainbowglass @scuzmunkie @kookiwu @xjiminsthighsx @dreadity @lovelytaes-blog @noooodlllleeee @ggukkieland @namjoonshug @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hesmyphenominiall @hollyweird0

[nephilimcursed]

Bella & The Boys Headcannons~ Laito Edition

TW: This has some triggering content.

"You've been locked in here forever and you just can't say goodbye~ Your lips, my lips, Apocalypse"

OKAY, Y'all know I love Kanato the best- BUT BELLA/LAITO IS JUST WOW-

They're so cute, I swear.

Bella wasn't clueless to all of his remarks, contrary to what y'all might think. She actually gets annoyed though.

She was hit on a lot during Shadowhunter training, by her own instructors. So being around Laito at first makes her cringe bad.

Yeah, she lowkey is done with him at first. Still drawn to him due to having a personality that was intended for him, but hella fed up.

But when she starts to fall- holy fucking shit.

When I write Bella/Laito scenes they don't feel like a stereotypical romance, like Bella/Kanato.

We all know the diaboys never really will change- so Bella was crafted as a mirror, to fit their interest.

So she starts falling for him and tries to get him to engage in deeper talks with her, like about all kinds of things, his interests and stuff.

He taught her piano and they play together.

Laito starts falling for Bella and he's wondering 'Um, what the actual fuck is this??'

He tries to kill her, because he's so scared of what's happening, but he can't bring himself to put the knife deeper in her chest. So she's just wounded.

And by this time, she has a stele again so she can just draw a rune on herself to heal.

So once she does draw that rune on, she's kinda pissed but at the same time quickly gets how scary this must be for him.

Then he tries to kill himself.

To which Bella has to try to calm him down and get him out of his panic attack, so we get a cute cuddle session.

I think seeing Laito in a more sweet tone is just, chef's kiss.

So once she tries to explain to him, he's also kinda '??????'

Doesn't accept it right away.

But then she asks if she has a different effect on him than most other girls.

You can see where I'm going with this.

So onto real headcannons- THEY ALSO ARE SUPER PHYSICAL WITH LOVE.

They're always touching each other in some way- I swear-

The other boys sometimes get jealous.

Laito will randomly sneak into her bed alot, like Ayato did in the anime with Yui.

This one is also super sweet. In Shadowhunter training, they only really teach you stuff to survive and stuff to fit in with higher class society if needed to blend in.

So Bella is clueless about her own body-

Her anatomy, I mean.

Laito is the one to teach her, because he got to talk with her before Reiji did.

He kinda did a good job explaining it?? He tried to do it in a more scientific manner but failed at times and made some jokes.

He also explained male anatomy. Was also a little bad at that-

She ended up getting the gist of it though.

Fucking god- this man is actually so sweet when he wants to be.

Okay, so as y'all know, Bella has an eating disorder because of what The Clave always forces her to do: Work without eating.

So she will go days without food.

Once Reiji and the others all get her to eat at least three meals a day, she starts getting to a healthy weight for her body type (curvy).

But she gets so insecure then.

She was so used to being stick thin, so she never thought her body would change in a way that made her thicker.

It gets to the point where she even tries to starve herself yet again.

Cue Laito to the rescue.

He would basically rave about her every attribute until her ears were sore. Touching, caring, just showing her why she shouldn't be insecure.

Feeds her personally, and expects to be fed back.

He definitely makes her feel pretty again.

Bella isn't vain, but she's just not used to such a thing changing.

Takes her out to candlelit dinners a lot.

Bella doesn't like his fedora by the way, she takes it off all the time.

Laito always laughs though and puts it on her head instead-

"Lai, stop trying to put it on me! I'm not a fucking idiot like you-"

"You love it~"

"Ew, gross-"

They're so silly like that whole exchange would have been teasing on both sides.

Their dates are all in intimate places, not a big crowd. Laito uses his dad's credit card to pay-

He spoilssssss her too. Expensive gifts like designer clothes and lingerie. (EVEN THOUGH SHE CRINGED AT THE LINGERIE-)

In return, she's always trying to do anything for him. In an SFW manner of course.

She slept with him first the day before her birthday, [Not going into detail, don't worry]

Bella was avoiding it though, because she didn't want Laito (or any of the triplets) to start thinking she was just like their mother.

But she gave up and into her craving for him when he convinced her, she still prays he won't see her as another version of that woman because she cares way too much to fuck him over in any way.

She dies the very next day, due to Karlheinz poisoning her tea.

Laito is fucking sobbing as hard as Kanato is and panicking as much as Reiji is when she's foaming at the mouth.

When she dies, he goes ballistic.

Once they kill Karlheinz he's even more upset somehow. Because the pain she felt from the poison was nothing like how they killed Karl.

Visits her grave a lot. A lot, lot.

He keeps what he bought for her as memories.

Laito was devastated.

[slashhinginghasher]

No Such Thing As A Free Ride

Ghost x Soap Hitcher AU

Part 1 Part 2

tw: light blood/gore

Oh, he needs this fucker out of his car. He needed him out at least 20 miles ago. Johnny's hands are clammy on the wheel, cold sweat pricking along his hairline. Ghost's eyes are boring into him, measuring his reaction. It doesn't feel like the anticipation of a person who's just told a really shitty joke and is waiting for you to groan or laugh or get angry. It feels like a cat waiting for the mouse to twitch so it can pounce.

Ghost never did put his seatbelt on after getting in the car.

Johnny's got a knife in his pocket, a stupid little thing with a star-spangled handle and a decal of an eagle wearing a cowboy hat, which he picked up at a roadside shop because it was so hilariously ugly. He's not even sure it'll make it past airport security when he goes home. But right now, it feels like providence.

The road is dark, no headlights or taillights when he glances at the mirrors. No oncoming traffic to run into if the car spins out. He nudges the accelerator, urging the car just a little faster. He'll have to be fast and, more importantly, lucky, because he'll only get one shot.

"What do you call a guy missing a part of his skull?" Ghost asks, flicking the butt of his cigarette out the window.

"I dunno," Johnny says, surreptitiously bracing himself. He's proud of how steady his voice is. "What?"

"Open minded."

Speaking of shitty jokes.

Jesus fuckin' Christ.

Johnny slams on the brakes.

The wheels shudder and Ghost bounces off the dashboard, head and hands. The seatbelt cuts into Johnny's chest and shoulder harder than he expected, but he can't cater to the shock of pain just yet. He whips the knife out and grabs a fistful of damp jacket with the other hand, holds the blade to Ghost's throat.

God, he hopes this cheap piece of shit is actually sharp enough to cut.

"What the fuck-" Ghost groans, voice muffled by the hand over his face, but Johnny cuts him off by the pressing the metal edge a little harder against the exposed skin of the other man's neck.

"Ride's over, pal," he snarls. "Get the fuck out." He grits his teeth and scowls, trying to look intimidating instead of pants-shittingly terrified. Ghost looks at him from the corner of his eyes.

"What're you doing?" He sounds a little nasal now. Johnny hopes he's busted the fucker's nose. His pulse, though, is infuriatingly slow and steady under Johnny's hand.

"The fuck does it look like I'm doin'? I'm sendin' you on your merry fuckin' way."

Should he shake him a little? It seems like it might be the correct thing to do, but Johnny is terrified of losing his grip.

It's so quiet. Drip of the rain and the tick-tick-tick of the cooling engine. The sound of Johnny trying to wrangle his breaths into silence. He swears he can hear Ghost blink.

"You ever stab anyone before, Johnny?"

No, no he fucking hasn't. He's never used a knife in self defense before, just for dumb tricks to impress people at parties. Ghost's skin is burning hot against Johnny's knuckles. He has no idea if he's close to drawing blood.

"It's awfully messy," Ghost continues. "Be such a shame to have clean all that up, 'specially since it's not your car."

There's a purr in Ghost's voice that's almost sexual, and it kind of makes Johnny want to die. Something warm trickles over his fingers, and he realizes in a sick rush that he's broken the skin.

"I'll say this one more time," he grits out, drawing on every cold-blooded action hero he's ever seen to keep his composure. "Open the door. And get. Out."

For an awful moment, he thinks Ghost isn't going to listen, and he's not sure if he's actually prepared to use real violence against the bigger man. It's a relief when he slowly pops open the door and, with an unwavering gaze, slides even more slowly out of the passenger seat.

Johnny thinks he's in the clear, but then Ghost's hand lashes out. He grabs Johnny by the wrist (his fingers almost touch, they almost fucking touch) and he licks his goddamn blood off of Johnny's fingers.

Johnny recoils so hard he hits the driver side door, and floors it. His arm bends painfully before Ghost stumbles and relinquishes his grip and he's able to pull it inside, dragging the door shut with it. Miraculously, he doesn't drop the knife, but he does almost cut himself with it several times as he wipes his hand off on the seat so fervently he gives himself rugburn. The other hand is gripping the wheel so tightly it hurts, barely keeping the car from careening off the road.

Ghost's silhouette fades, swallowed by distance and rain.

***

He almost cries with relief when he sees the sign for the rest stop. He's been driving for hours, checking the rearview mirror every five minutes just in case Ghost somehow materializes in the backseat, and figures he's put enough distance between them that the hitcher won't catch up to him on foot, even if he sprints. There's no one else in the lot, which is unsurprising but does make him feel conspicuous. He parks under a tree, the thick trunk providing an extra barrier between him and the road.

He swears he can still feel Ghost's spit on his skin, even though he's rubbed his hand almost raw.

The thought of falling asleep and leaving himself vulnerable makes him sick with fear, but the adrenaline crash is hitting him hard. He triple-checks the locks on all the doors and reclines the driver's seat as far back as it will go.

Eventually, he dozes off, clutching the glorious, idiotic cowboy knife to his chest.

***

The terror of the previous night is starting to feel like a fever dream in the bright morning sunlight. Johnny wakes with a crick in his neck, a bruise on his collarbone, and a sore elbow, but the parking lot is still empty and so is the road, which he can see for miles in either direction under a clear blue sky.

The bathrooms are locked, so he takes a piss in the bushes before inspecting the big map posted on the wall behind a sheet of scratched plexiglass. There's a truck stop about 45 miles away with a gas station and a diner. Johnny's stomach growls at the thought of a big, greasy American breakfast, and the knot in his chest loosens further at the thought of seeing some regular, sane people.

Stretching his back with a loud groan, he saunters back to the car. Honestly, he's starting to second guess himself a little. Nobody would straight up admit to murder to a stranger, right? That would astronomically stupid. Ghost (clearly a fake name) was probably one of those weird cunts who read autopsy reports for fun and got off on making people scared. Johnny doesn't regret kicking him out of the car though, even if the knife was overkill. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, or whatever; don't act like a demented freak around the bloke giving you a ride if you don't want to be dumped on the side of the road.

The passenger seat is barely damp when he touches it. By the time he reaches the truck stop, it'll be like last night never even happened. He spots the cigarette lighter still rolling about in the cup holder and tosses it back into the center console. Out of sight, out of mind.

His fingers brush something sticky.

Johnny's heart leaps into his throat and his stomach plummets down somewhere below his arse. Shaking, trepidatious, he plucks the object out from the console and immediately throws it as far as possible with a startled cry of disgust. It bounces a couple times before rolling to a stop some 15 meters away on the pavement.

His stomach clenches and his throat convulses as he dry heaves, trying to choke back another scream. He rubs his hand frantically through the condensation gathered on the hood of the car to get the tackiness off his fingers because if he wipes it on his leg then it'll be on his pants-

A crow flies down from the tree, eying Johnny suspiciously before pecking at the object. It gives a few exploratory nips to the pink, stringy bit before moving on to the fleshy white sphere. With a triumphant caw, it picks the whole thing up and tosses its head back.

Johnny doubles over and vomits as the bird gulps down the bloody human eye Ghost left in his car.

[sadvid]

camp camp makes me insane ramble. do not click more unless you are so so very insane

camp camp is gonna make me go fucking insane i can't fucking do this anymore there is NOTHING!!!!!! NOTHING!!!! ALL THEY DID WAS GIVE US TINY PISS DRRROPLETS WITH ONE EPISODE FINALE SAYING MAXS PARENTS DONT CARE AND DAVID SAYING YOU DONT DESERVE THAT AND NOW IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES FOR YEAAAARSSS. i have read fics with over 100k words i have drawn so many things and imagined so many scenarios with angst and hurt/comfort and stupid stupid thoughts that would never ever happen in the show in a million years HIS ASS IS NOT GETTING ADOPTED DADVID IS NOT REAL GWENVID IS A SICK JOKE i love them so much you don't understand. i forgot to take my meds. oh my goddddd. THERE ARE LIKE THREE CAMP CAMP FANS LEFT BECAUSE THE REST WERE NORMAL PEOPLE WHO JUST WATCH THE SILLY CAMP CARTOON THAT SAYS FUCK. they dont wonder about the possibilities of a sad ten year old rejecting happiness but slowly allowing himself to be vulnerable and loved by a counselor who is surrounded by hate and despondency but stays positive despite despite despite because nobody else will and he wants to be the source of happiness that he wish someone was for him. NO! they say HAHA the ten year old said fuck! oh my god the non swearing counselor said fuck too that's so profound! oh no the ten year olds parents bad :( HAHA NOW HES BALD!!!! and after a month of the show being gone they LEAVE because they're NORNAL!!!!! but i. I AM IN THE TRENCHESSSSS. you have no idea you have no idea. listen maybe i'm just a little insane because i am a max who needs a david JUST MAYBE! and i think this is just a lot of me projecting my desperate need for love and my simultaneous rejection and fear of it onto max. And my need for someone to keep persistently and loudly loving me no matter how much i reject it. PROBABLY!!!!! i don't care i don't care how fucking insane i sound I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY I COULD talk about this show for hours i wish i didn't have job or school or life so i could write and anímate camp camp season 6 7 8 9 10 infinity and kill the warner brothers and write 500k word ao3 fics. IM INSANE. i am picking up crumbs and calling it a wedding cake do you understand. god i'm i i i i i i i i it's 2024 it's been too long too many years of this.... too many got damned years. every time i pick up a pencil i draw max camp camp. i have drawn david's stupid fucking face so many times its probably become the shape of my brain wrinkles. i go feral thinking about gwen's hair looks like down or what the fuck these characters last names are. Can you fucking believe i hyper fixated on a character whose last name i dont even know. hey who's that small angry fucker you're always doodling. uhh max. max who. max... camp camp. WHO?!!! DAVID?!!? DAVID ATTENBOROUGH?!?! MAX CAULFIELD?! i'm going to set myself on fire. i really truly am. i love them i live for nothing but a ghost child on an island and a silly friend trio. when will it end. when. i love them if you couldn't tell

[nrdmssgs]

Ok, I made a thing.

This is Zhar, the baby is Anya. Anya is the daughter of Nikolai and Freya 'Mini' Mactavish. Mini belongs to @sofasoap

This is not some kind of creepy 'twilight' thing, I swear. This is my girl finding her big platonic love in an AU where she doesn't end up with Nikolai.

And a little story to this picture.

“That flight attendant checked you out. Once again!” Freyas brain begged her to shut up. However, MacTavishes blood kept boiling, encouraging her to go on and try to distract the notorious Chimeras Lieutenant.

In fact Mini was scared. She was afraid of Olga back in the days of her service with Price and that fear only grew when Olga left 141 and Lt Zhar was born. Poorly hiding his pride, Nikolai told her, how that woman didn’t shed a single tear the morning, she woke up with a half-burnt body. Hiring her was obviously the move that boosted his already huge ego. But Mini didn’t trust people, who seemed to have no soft corners.

And Zhar was all teeth and claws.

Mini didn’t like her husband’s initial idea to send Olga bodyguarding her. It felt easier for her to walk down the street alongside Krueger – he at least would express any emotion besides cold concentration. But Mini couldn’t argue, when Nik pointed out, that Olga draws not that much attention than a huge loud guy, threatening everyone around just with his posture. Besides, Zhar had this natural feeling of a crowd: she read surrounding movements and moods as if she read other peoples minds. And this was critical for where Mini went.

The good news were, that everything went so smoothly – Freya could as well spend all this time alone. No threats, no nothing. The bad news was the MacTavish blood, that begged Mini to stir her bodyguard up. She craved a human interaction that went at least a bit beyond “wait here”, “please let me do the talking”, “if you need me – I am right behind your door”. She wanted bubbly flustered girly gossips for god’s sake!

Sadly, she had to deal with Olga, who refused to play any social games.

“Hes no threat, Mini, don’t worry.”

“No! I mean, he checked you out! Like a hot thing you are.”

Zhars fingers froze for a moment hovering over her laptop keyboard. Freya smiled in anticipation, but her bodyguard just nodded to herself and went back to typing, as if she just needed a minute to find the most suitable wording for her email.

“Oh, c’mon, really? You wont even glance at him?”

“Blonde hair, blue eyes, persistent misuse of a cheap cologne, ‘Oliver’ badge and a widest smile on this plane.” Olga finally looked away from her screen. “Mini, love, if you are trying to test me – yes, I do memorize people surrounding you.”

“No-o-o-o.” Mini almost mewled. “This wasn’t any test, I just wanted to gossip, or to have a little laugh, or just to chat. You know, like the real people usually do?”

Zhar sighed and closed her laptop.

“Ok, show me her.”

“Again? Olya, we watched Anyas photos just before the flight. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in my daughter this hard. We can talk about any other thing!” Mini had to dig her fingers into her own forearm to force herself to continue speaking without blushing from fear and embarrassment.

Zhar insisted on watching Anyas photos yet again. As Freya was showing her the same pictures, they looked at just an hour ago, she noticed how her bodyguards face softened.

“You should think about having a baby too. It's fun, you know-“ Minis mind wasn’t following her own tongue fast enough. By the time, she cut herself out – it was too late.

“You’re MacTavish, and MacTavish knows no fear,” rang her mother’s voice in her head as she slowly turned to face Olga.

Mini tried to joke herself out of this uncomfortable situation, tell something about ‘obviously meeting the right man or woman, going on a pair of dates, and getting to the baby question only after that, but Zhar ended her suffering.

“Mini, there won’t be anyone for me.”

“Wha-?”

“There is nobody for me.” Olga repeated. “I break several laws all around the world on a daily basis, I have not been with anyone from the start of my service in the TF, my back looks like a well-done steak, my head costs a shit ton of money on an underworld market. At this point, there is nobody out there.”

“That’s…” Mini didn`t want to point the obvious out, so she bit her tongue and didn’t say ‘sad’.

“That is a choice. And I’m ok with that. I let go of all that stuff, you know?” Zhar smiled awkwardly. “Will they, won’t they… and then they finally are. And they tell each other ‘you are the love of my life, you’re the most important person on earth, your happiness is from now on my only mission, your smile is my reason to go on’. And the church bells ring and someone’s auntie is crying ugly on the last row… I just let it all go. And my life didn’t become miserable. If anything – it became easier to breathe.”

Freya suddenly felt guilty. She knew, that by the time their plane will touch the ground – Nik would already be in the airport. Waiting for the love of his life. And Zhar would report to him, salute to Mini. Then she will turn away and go to a big cold Chimeras base. For some reason Mini couldn’t picture Olga coming to her home. As much as she respected Zhars decision to fence herself off any close relationship – Freya felt bad for not being able to truly share the family love with her.

“Hey, can I have your phone for a minute? Always wanted to try this airdrop* feature, do you mind?” Mini lied – she used this feature a hundred times already. She just wanted to give Olga at least something. So, she sent her a photo of Anya in her bunny onesie. And the one with Anya on Nikolais helicopter seat. And the one with Anya trying a peach for the fist time. It wasn’t much, but these were the photos, Zhar kept asking to show her again and again.

After that flight they parted for quite a long time. Olga had a ton of work, and Mini had a work, a little angel, a husband, trying to spoil that little angel rotten, and a brother, risking his dumb ass constantly.

Every time Freya visited the Chimera base – she knocked on Olga’s door in the hope of an answer. And after a few months it finally happened.

“Come in. Unless it’s Krueger. Fuck off Krueger!” Zhar sounded as if she was in a good mood, although Mini still had to urgently cover little Anyas ears.

Freyas stepped in Zhars office and greeted her.

“Yeah, hi, love. Grab a seat, I need to finish this letter and then I`m all your-“ Olga fell silent, when she saw the baby in Minis arms.

“Ehm, hi… We thought, it would be nice to visit our favorite Chimera Lieutenant.” Freya stepped in the dimly lit office. Anya was staring around with a wide-open mouth.

Zhar didn’t move, she seemed to didn’t even breathe. She looked at Anya with wide eyes full of uncertainty or confusion.

“So, this is where your auntie Olya works.” Freya started telling her daughter, pointing on Olgas desk. “Auntie Olya is very busy, she helps daddy with so many things, so we will just look and be very quiet, like little mice, ok?”

“Can I-“ Zhar started talking, but Nikolais voice from the hall cut her out.

“Lastochka?* Can I have you for a minute?”

Mini was ready to turn to exit when Olga snapped out “Can I please hold her?”. She sounded unfamiliar, her voice was low, tearful, as if Zhar was fighting a lump coming up her throat.

“Of course! Anya loves new faces, here…” Freya handed the baby to Olga and turned around to follow Nikolais voice.

“Don’t worry, I will pick her up in a few min-“

“You are the love of my life…” Mini stopped in her tracks as these words reached her ears. Zhars voice was full of tears. Freya looked back in shock and saw Zhar, the notorious Chimeras Lieutenant with shiny wet cheeks.

She held Anya as if she was made of a glass and as if she was her only hope at the same time. The next words she spoke, were quiet, almost inaudible. But Mini already knew these words.

“You’re the most important person on earth, your happiness is from now on my only mission, your smile is my reason to go on.”

Airdrop – a technology, letting apple phone users to send each other multimedia files.

Lastochka – a swallow. Nikolais nickname for Mini.

[saliosis]

your subway order total is $19.21

(extra notes below)

ok, so here's the deal with the slight design change! (i swear, it's cool)

i wanted to make chuck latino because i joked about it once (w/ fred stoller being on handy manny saying "my amigos 😆" and then saying his colors look like the flag of colombia 💀) but it stuck for some reason. to me, it works PERFECTLY.... if becky can be an alien who is

"ambiguously brown"

then why can't a sandwich person like chuck also be brown, yknow 🔥⁉️

(help i keep accidentally latinoifying wg characters--)

chuck? nah. he is now, officially

chuck el sandwichero perverso 🥪🇨🇴‼️🔥

(as they call him in the spanish dub aka chica supersabia)

for starters, i wanted to experiment with changing the type of bread he's based on. i can assume chuck is based on the classic sandwich made up of white bread (...💀) so i wanted to change it up for latino chuck.... yknow... yknow.... yknow.... 🕴️

i'm also just not a fan of plain white bread 🤕 LMFKAJDKSN

i had a couple of options to chose from so i can upgrade his sandwichness™ 💭 but i decided to settle onnnnnnn..........................

funky multigrain bread!! my favorite 🥄🥄‼️ anytime i make a sandwich, i usually reach for this bread... (and when i say "anytime" i mean the times i'm extra and watch a chuck episode while eating a sandwich 💀💀)

i like the idea of chuck having seeds and grains on his face... think of it like moles, freckles, or even acne scars if you will 🤷‍♂️ brent straight-up has seeds on him that represent freckles so why not, right⁉️ we can get creative here w/ it!!

plus- he's so much more bread-like this way

above is a fast doodle, but it is what i ended up sticking with for my design. if you see in the final drawing, i did shift around with some of his costume colors to make it work with the bread type-colors!!

i imagine brent being a variation of bread that looks similar to chuck. that way chuck can be multigrain bread and brent can be another type.

parent who is multigrain bread + parent who is another type of bread = two siblings, each being one of two options of bread because of genes™ (wow. sandwich person science 😍😍🥪🧬 /s)

my two options for brent's bread type? because i will probably never draw that man? either molasses bread (left) or even dark rye (right)?? but i lean towards dark rye brent because that idea seems so scrumptious to me

ngl i have never been too sure what type of bread brent is based on......

the wiki doesn't really help me decide. he has freckles that seem to be like seeds, so that means he's a type of bread that has seeds. but also, not that many seeds.... which is likely an animation thing since animating all those damn seeds must be hard. but idk? but his skin tone is very slightly darker than chuck so that makes me think he isn't white bread based™ (help what am i talking about)

if any bread experts™ out there have some guesses, let me know so we can talk about that more. for some reason, this is really fascinating.

anyways.... latino brent can be real too 🤷‍♂️

um...............

brent 😍🥪🇨🇴🔥‼️

(because i swear to god they just call him brent in the spanish dub instead of his long ass name)

but yeah 👍 that's my little hc-chuck related ramble. i may not talk about him, but i really fuckin love chuck 😭

............ .. . . . ... . .... . .. . ...... . .. ...... ....... .. .. .. .....typing this out has made me realize how much thought, effort, and research i have done all because of a joke i made. a joke i made about a cartoon character from a kids show where we haven't gotten new content in years. and that it's likely that i'm the only person thinking so deeply about a family of sandwiches--

[free-for-all-fics]

Stupid, silly Namor or Attuma fic ideas. Don’t think too hard about these they’re just funny little ideas. Pls tag me if you write or get inspired by any of these. Like always, there are no rules:

1. The reader is labeled as the village idiot because she likes to sing with her head underwater to "sing to the mermaids". The village ridicules her for it. One day, she is swept out in a riptide, and no one is willing to come to her aid—no one from the village, that is.

2. Reader is full of bad puns and dad jokes, much to the chagrin of Namor/Attuma. "Why are seagulls called seagulls?"

“Stop now.”

“Because if they flew over bays, they'd be bagels! Oh hey, What did one wave say to the other?"

“I swear, if you make one more ocean related pun, I will murder you on this island and tell everyone you died in a shipwreck."

"...well, someone's salty."

3. You put a message in a bottle and set it out to sea in the hopes it’ll reach Namor/Attuma so you can be pen pals. “Oh my god I love you but you’re so stupid.” They say because you have no idea that’s not how mail works.

4. You’re in love with Namor/Attuma, but you’re also obsessed with monsters and cryptids so you keep asking them questions like “Is the Kraken real?? What about 6 headed hydras? Have you seen Nessie?? Are they friendly? Darling tell meeeeeee”

5. Reader does that stupid prank thing where she pretends to do a magic trick with an egg and a bottle of water. She’s like “Ok now look inside” and squeezes the bottle, spraying water in Attuma/Namor’s face and runs away cackling.

6. You introduce Namor/Attuma to a wonderful human invention - Water beds. They are less than amused. Reader, consider your sexy time privileges revoked😑

7. Attuma/Namor trying to teach reader combat and how to fight like a Talokanil but reader keeps making it sexy and Namor/Attuma is like “Ok maybe we should stop. You’re not even listening to me or learning anything properly!” And reader is like “Oh I’m learning all the right techniques perfectly. 😏😘”

8. Those videos from EVNautilus of the people in a submarine coming across a dumbo octopus and a googly eyed stubby squid but instead it’s scientist reader being shown Talokan by Attuma or Namor and fawning over the sea creatures because they’re just little guys. Sweet underwater babies. And reader being like “it’s just a baby can I adopt it pls” 🥺 and Namor or Attuma being like “pay attention. Remember why we’re here.”

9. “Your child brings home a raccoon, mistaking it for a cat and begs to keep it” trope but instead it’s Namor/Attuma and their child has brought home an anglerfish or some other hideous abomination of the sea. It’s surprisingly docile and follows the child around like a pet anyway so can we keep it??? Please father 🥺

10. Namor and Jeff the Land Shark crossover. That’s it. That’s the post. Reader wants to adopt Jeff as their child. He’s just a baby 🥺

11. Peter Pan “They were just having a bit of fun, weren’t you, girls?”

“We were only trying to drown her” Mermaid Lagoon AU

12. “General, I’ve brought the cartographer into the war meeting today. I believe you owe her an apology for ruining all her maps when you stab them to dramatically mark a location.” (What if the “cartographer” is actually Attuma’s small daughter or sister drawing doodles of maps and playing pretend/mirroring what her dad or brother does because she wants to help and it’s all in jest hehe)

13. 2 days ago you went to an animal shelter and adopted the most adorable cat. What you don’t know is, he’s the reincarnation of an Aztec god. Your food offerings are unacceptable and that ugly small box that feels like it’s made from scratchy carpet will not do. No. He’ll be sleeping in your bed with you. Don’t try to lock him out; he’ll just scream and sing the songs of his people until you let him back in. (Or maybe through a magic mishap Namor has been accidentally transformed into a cat. Yeah Namor as a cat AU. I told you these ideas were silly.)

14. “Would you still love me if I was a worm” meme With Namor or Attuma but instead it’s “Would you still love me if I was a sea cucumber” or something ocean related

15. Namor or Attuma are taking their daughter trick or treating this year and ask what she wants to be for Halloween. A superhero, a mermaid, a princess? No. She wants to be a horseshoe crab. Possible Modern AU.

16. Reader goes to the beach often and befriends the seagulls/pelicans. So they start to bring her gifts like shells, rocks, etc. Except one day they bring you a golden bracelet, beaded necklace, or jade earrings (your choice of which). It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. A few days later, Namor shows up at the beach, looking very annoyed as he asks for his necklace/bracelet/or earrings back.

17. You and Namor or Attuma meet on the beach in your special spot. You don’t get to be with him often considering he’s kept away by his responsibilities and loyalty to Talokan, and you’re human. It’s usually your only chance to have time where you can just quietly love each other. Except a stupid fucking seagull or pelican has been following you to both the beach and your home; squawking incessantly, wreaking havoc and basically cockblocking you. Untitled Goose Game AU but it’s a seagull/pelican.

[ranposgirlboss]

~HCS FROM MY BOOK!!-PART ONE~

THIS IS MULTIFANDOM!! also most of these are either slander or made for being a silly joke <333 so please don't take this seriously

fandoms: genshin impact, bungou stray dogs, and honkai impact

genre: fluff, slander, and sillies (it progressively gets less and less serious)

enjoy my shitty hcs from like a year ago <333 (they are actually older lol) ALSO ARE EXTREMELY SHORT SINCE IM LITERALLY JUST TAKING WHAT I WROTE WITHOUT CHANGING IT AND PUTTING IT OVER ON HERE LMAOASBHJAS (there's only so much space on paper </3)

chara list!!: albedo, kazuha, xiao, diluc, heizou, fu hua (sentience), scaramouche, aponia, dazai, ranpo, poe, ANDDD nikolai!!

FIRST TIME HOLDING HANDS!!

ALBEDO

-"its all for an experiment" he says

-lil bitch ok sure

-probably gonna study what this feeling is when he holds your hand and "why he feels so warm on the inside"

-acts like he doesnt care that much but bros probably gonna draw yall holding hands like a 13 year old drawing in her diary 💀

KAZUHA

-i love him but

-probably would make a poem about how your hand feels 😭

-he would be so cute tho ngl

-i mean just as always but also like

-please hold his hand he just loves you so much and along with words of affirmation physical contact seems to be his thing

-UGH MARRY ME

XIAO

-"wow y/n when you hold my hand the voices cease their calls for me to go to taco bell, thank you y/n."

-TAKE ME HIGHH AND ILL SINGGGG YOU MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY OHKAY OHKAY OHKAY (if you know that song here's your free kiss <33)

-and then you get married the end

-W H Y D I D I W R I T E T H I S B Y E -

DILUC

-could give less of a shit

-but for the sake of being a gentleman he says thank you and then continues bat manning sillily.

HEIZOU

-"y/n holding hands is cool but i think we should start an investigation of how fast we could make it to my place ;)"

-KILL YOURSELF. (please dont lead the way my silly detective <33)

-this gif makes me want to impulsively eat vanilla cake.

FU HUA

-YAAAATTAAAAA

-*holds hand* look at the beautiful sight ahead of us Y/N! no i did not make that fire-"

-fu hua arsonist era

APONIA

-MOMMY bjnEBHEKHBWJSK

-"y/n holding hands is great but why don't we open our arms and eyes to god"

DAZAI

-I APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY BSD READERS WHO HAVE TO SCROLL THIS FAR JUST TO GET THIS SILLy

-"i can always hold more then your hand~"

-a flirty bitch, but yall got chuuya knocking on your door asking you to "control your dog"

-ironic how chuuya is the one who says that

RANPO

-UGH I LOVE MY SKRUNKLE DOODLE PUSH POP SILLY SKRUNKLY CRUNKLY MUMPLY SILLY (yes i wrote that WORD. FOR. WORD.)

-will hold your hand for payments

-affection?? candy??? candys nuts fit in your mouth because they sure are about to <33 (i want to erase what i write sometimes)

-gets so happy omg

-not only does he have candy, you, but NOW he gets to hold your hand too>!1/!?!?

-wow he might as well steal from a candy store at this point

-might as well

-he swears it was an accident

POE

-poe held your hand with such sweetness, care, tenderness, love, and affection

-karl pulls up in his Mazarati, ready to throw hands once and for all, how DARE someone get more attention then karl

-poe has some explaining to do

-(i wonder how high i was when i wrote these)

-(i think i was 5'5)

NIKOLAI ( I FUCKING LOVE THIS ONE)

-so you go to hold his hand in y/n fashion

-suddenly you almost get hit by a bus

-"shit my bad wrong item"

-you stare in utter confusion at the bus as it suddenly vanishes like a fucking mob from minecraft or some shit

-nikolai god arc confirmed real

-so anyways you suddenly feel warmth on your hand on you see another fucking hand gripping yours but its literally just the hand detached from the body

-you are extremely scared and concerned why there's another hand gripping yours out of nowhere but with nikolai anything is possible so you just accept it and hold his hand back

-he giggles and nikolais away with the hand still holding yours

-(I ASKED HOW HIGH I WAS WHEN I WROTE THE LAST ONE BUT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE.)

----------------------------------

the voices

ALOS THNAK YOU FOR READING THIS PIECE OF SHIT IM SORRY. SHE WAS ME FROM A YEAR AGO I DONT KNOW HER 😭

alos my reqs are always open

I ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR THE TAGS

[sincerely-sofie]

One thing I will say is that saying you "disagree with the term queer" Is Not A Great Look, but that could easily be a me not getting the wording as intended thing - The above assumes you mean just, queer in general though it feels more like you might've meant in reference to yourself? (Which is entirely fine - I'm of the opinion that any given label should be opt-in to anyone who's genuine about it rather than mandatory.)

Really, the main important thing I appreciate is being able to accept others where they're at. Being able to just say "Yeah, sure, ok" and go along even if I don't personally understand is honestly one of my core beliefs* too, and with minimal disrespect it's nice seeing this from a Christian. The little I actually know suggests something worth looking into, and the notion of an eternal soul is something I find fairly agreeable (if not strictly the outcomes of that.) Then again, I'm someone whose personal experience with religion can be described as a tangled web of jokes that ran too long and accidentally became character traits, so, maybe not the best judge of anything here. Also, wow, this post got away from me quickly. Originally meant to just put in the first paragraph and call it good.

*I draw a hard line the second that personal belief starts meaning harm to others. Believe what you want about yourself, but anyone saying someone else needs to change their ways (bar the very beliefs this targets, primarily meaning bigotry/racists) because of a thing YOU feel a certain way about simply can't be tolerated.

Thanks for the critique! Looking back, I definitely should have written “disagree with the term queer FOR myself” (which was actually the original wording I drafted) rather than “disagree with the term queer myself”. I was trying to cut down on my wordiness as I edited my response, but I ended up just making it a confusing sentence to read. Curse my proofreading anxiety. 

I'll try not to get into it too much here because it'd probably derail this entire response to your ask, but I've got a lot of mixed feelings with most labels, especially ones that were formerly derogatory terms. My church has worked hard to pivot from being called “Mormons” because among other (honestly more important) reasons, the term was basically used as a snide and condescending way to refer to my church, and it quickly became the default phrase for addressing us. The fact that members of my faith were basically referring to themselves with an insult as I grew up in the church never really sat well with me, even if we took pride in it. I'm super impressed by those who can take once-painful words and make them into badges of honor, but for me personally, it's a real emotional minefield. Hence, in part, why I don't agree with using the term queer for myself. It's a matter of preference and personal implications.

Agh, I really rambled on for a while there. I hope that made sense.  

For your second paragraph— it's sad to me that so many people have had such disheartening experiences with Christians. I swear, most of us are loving people. There's just an unfortunate amount of very vocal bible-bashers who forget that God's greatest instructions to us were to love Him and love others. 

If you're interested, there's a lot of resources on my church’s website if you'd like to learn more about what we believe (though there's no pressure from me to read up on it!) I just felt like I should share because we don't believe in a Hell where people burn for all eternity. 

We believe in three different “kingdoms” that everyone will be sorted into, with interaction between them being possible so families and friends can visit each other if they end up divided. The least glorious kingdom (for lack of a better term) is still an absolutely amazing place, full of light and happiness. There is a sort of Hell called Outer Darkness that I guess anyone reading about could see it as a form of eternal punishment, but people choose to go there themselves— it's a form of willing separation from God that happens when people who have an absolutely perfect knowledge of the gospel still choose to go the opposite direction. It's not somewhere you go because you drank coffee or swore in life. That'd be ridiculous.

… I opened my mouth and a missionary came out. Oops. 

Anyhoo, that last paragraph is a big deal, Anon! People need to be able to choose for themselves what they'll do in their lives— any forced change is not change at all, and the second you do harm to another person that isn't in the defense of yourself or others, you're in the wrong. As you can probably tell from my tangent above, I'm an advocate for missionary work, which could be seen as telling people they need to change their ways, but the type of missionary work I stand behind is the kind that invites people to learn more— never forces— and respects when they say no. Always honor agency is my motto. Invite, don't incite. That sort of thing. 

Thanks again for the critique! I appreciate your willingness to send it in and share your thoughts. I'll add a link to this ask in my original post so that if anyone else is confused by my wording, they'll be able to see this and get some better information. 

[firstdivisiongirl]

I am sissy! Give me match ups, please!

Perfect and personality match for Tokyo Revengers and One Piece!

Hi Buddy! Just to clarify for everyone. The reason there is no description and I am still doing this matchup is because this is my real life sister! The older sister from Thursday things my sister says! I known her for 26 years, so no need for a description. I hope you like it!

You are Most Like....

Nico Robin & Shinichiro Sano!!!

Let's start with Nico Robin:

You are both chasing the high of the Scholastic Book Fair lol (it's a text post joke). But in reality, you both love reading!

Both of you have a scary sense of humor. Like it is disturbing.

You are definitely the mom friend of any group. People always come to you for advice (mostly me but still)

You two are so calm no matter what

Now time for Shinichiro:

GOD TIER OLDER SIBILING!

You both have terrible luck with getting a date!

You both are bullied by your younger siblings

You both have the cutest little sister (aka me and Emma. Wait...Emma and I are similar lol)

People are draw to you. I swear everyone loves you and the number of random people walking up to you to ask a question or talk to you about something weird is baffling

Now time for the perfect matches. You got...Dracule Mihawk and Takashi Mitsuya!!!

Let's start with Hawkeye:

He had you at library.

You two both love reading and books so I can picture riveting discussion about books.

He would love that you like quiet and hate Shanks (I get you hate Shanks, but he could be worse).

Cooking together!

I picture indoor date nights. A good meal, a good book, and just being together

You would love his island. It's dark, spooky and quiet.

Now time for Taka:

He would love that you are good with kids. He would ask you to take care of his sisters (or the beans as you call them) when he has to go to Toman meetings.

Dates would be lowkey. Bike ride and cafe maybe?

Because you are social awkward, you and Hakkai would be great friends.

You would be the number one fan of his designs.

You two would be sassy and sarcastic together.

The vibes are there

Note: Beans are a term of endearment