#GIVE ME ALL THE BARTY

[resident-gay-bitch]

In my ask box, give me your best Barty headcannons no matter how tame, insane, close to cannon, or as far from cannon as possible. Weather it’s him alone or in Any ship. I want them ALL! :)))))

[katakosmos]

i just hope my fic will attract a lot of haters

[starsarestories]

Happy Birthday to Barty Crouch Jr from AATT. Go find Evan, and go out of this year with a bang 😉🎉🎉

[foursaints]

in the universe where pandora and lucius can be together how do you think evan and lucius would get on? and barty and lucius by extension

anon they HAAAATE him. they think he’s such a wanker they cannot stand him. but i think pandora would take a quiet, silly, savage sort of pleasure in having a partner who pisses everybody off. she seems like the type. it’s amusing! and when she sees the cartoonish looks of disgust that barty and ev are pulling at lucius just Being Himself she smiles underneath her hand and feels the strongest wave of affection for all three of them. but that’s just my opinion

[risetherivermoon]

not to be a bitch but party (barty x peter) would probably be more popular and taken seriously as a ship if peter was more conventionally attractive,

anywayyy

[siriustar8]

Whenever i see a man in a piece of media I'm like "omg am I attracted to this man" and all it takes me is a few minutes to realize that it's actually gender envy

[bartletslesbians]

It's so irritating that every other Dorcas post is tagged with Slytherin Skittles or characters not even in the post bc it means I can't mute jegulus and those skittles and the regulus tag without the entire Dorcas Meadowes tag becoming a grey block 😭

[siriuslygay1981]

Barty makes Kandi confirmed.

[elysianymph]

i'm so bored and i don't wanna go to bed so here's a list of wips/fic ideas i've been thinking about constantly.

send me an ask with the number and i'll say anything i can think of about it :D (or you can ask for specific information on it, i don't mind!!)

1. regulus raising harry post 1981

2. victorian jegulily au

3. canon compliant angst fic (pantheon edition)

4. regulus gets obliviated. shit happens

5. oblivious regulus + persistent jily (and sirius losing his shit (not for the reason you may think))

6. jegulily enemies to lovers fix-it fic

7. jegulily band au

8. 80s jegulily au with jily as lifeguards

[miscomm]

the possibilities that hufflepuff’s traits have to be twisted and turned to make a ‘villain’ character are insane

[leilohsstupidgaystuff]

I love everything about this.

knew - @rosekillermicrofic - word count: 215

“He doesn’t know your favorite color.”

Evan looked up from his book, shocked to see an emotional-looking Barty staring at him from the doorway for their dorm. “Hmm?” he asked, a bit nervously. Barty was never emotional.

“Adam. Your boyfriend,” Barty said the last word like it was dirty. “He asked me just now if I knew your favorite color.” He looked horrified. Disturbed. Like this piece of news was life-changing.

“A-alright,” Evan nodded, confused, trying to figure out the punch line. “And..?”

“And you’ve been dating for months, Rosie! Months! And he didn’t know your favorite color?” Barty cried, his chest heaving, eyes wild. “I know! I know your- your favorite color, and how you take your tea, and I know that you prefer to do your Potions homework on Wednesdays because you think Potions and Wednesdays are the same color for some reason! But your fucking boyfriend didn’t even bother learning your favorite color?”

But Even sensed that there was something more there. Something he was trying to say. “So?” he asked softly, heart beating rapidly.

“So how are you with him?” Barty asked, shrinking down, anger dissipating from his body, resignation replacing it. “How are you with him and not me?”

“I…” Evan trailed off, hardly believing his ears. “I didn’t know.”

[not-rab]

James *out of curiosity*: How did all four of you even befriend Regulus?

Evan: I helped fix his wand after I broke it

Barty: I stole his broom and refused to give it back unless he was nice to me

Pandora: I stalked him

Sirius: I'm his only biological brother and there's no refund button

[katakosmos]

whats very critical to me is barty being this sheltered twitchy nerd with freak tendencies and terrible terrible evan looking at him like “hm i could fix this guy” and what he means is making irredeemably evil

i need a complete barty analysis from you, that would save me.

i love the idea of evan slowly corrupting barty with his silences and smiles, instead of the opposite. evan perfectly embodies the role of a high school bully from some wattpad story or netflix show: he kicks a pebble with his crocodile leather shoes, which hits barty's back, who turns around angrily. and barty's the silent boy who takes the insults and teasing in silence, without reacting, until one day evan goes to sleep and barty comes out of his closet and tries to slit his throat.

barty bursts into tears (yes, i read one of your last posts) and evan has a crazy thought, completely inappropriate to the situation.

that "i can fix him" = "barty, you don't have to hold back, if you want to kill me you can do it. please. you'll feel better. please"

[remuslupinlovebot]

marauders era p links (18+)

all links lead to p0rn !! watch at your own risk and do not watch in public

part 2 out now!

REGULUS BLACK

regulus fingering you in his dorm

regulus bouncing you on his cock

JAMES POTTER

riding james when he visits you for summer break

james celebrating a quidditch win

james absolutely devouring you as if you were his last meal on earth (this is the hottest video)

james teasing you while you’re wearing his hoodie

james stuffing you full and showing how much you mean to him

james eating his pretty girl out

SIRIUS BLACK

sirius making his girl feel good

showing sirius what a good girl you are

69’ing with sirius

sirius using his long fingers to make you cum

morning fucks with sirius

sirius fucking you at your house

REMUS LUPIN

remus fucking your face

remus fucking you in the bathroom before a full moon

riding professor lupin

getting extra credit with professor lupin

BARTY CROUCH JR

bouncing on bartys cock

barty fucking the LIFE out of you

MARLENE MCKINNON

marlene riding the life out of you

marlene making you look in the mirror as she destroys you

marlene fingering you till you’re shaking

making a sex tape with marlene

marlene eating you out

making out with marlene

LILY EVANS

fucking lily with a d!ldo

intimate but intense foreplay with lily

fucking lily in the common room

sucking mommy’s tits like a good girl

roommate lily helping you out

car sex with lily

thanking lily for date night by eating her out

lily sitting on your face <3

using mommy’s tits to cum

MARY MACDONALD

mary bringing you to heaven with her fingers

mary sending you a video while you’re on a work trip

home alone with mary

fucking mary after coming home to her all dolled up

making mary cum

eating mary out by the pool

DORCAS MEADOWES

eating dorcas out till she’s whimpering

(doesn’t really look like dorcas but it’s hot so whatever) devouring dorcas on the kitchen counter

giving dorcas special treatment after a night out

dorcas riding you

RANDOM

marlene eating lily out to give her a break from studying

pansy parkinson riding the genuine life out of you

pandora, dorcas and barty having fun when the dorms are empty

foreplay with lily and nb partner (not RLLY p0rṉ)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ANY DON’T WORK!!

find part 2: here

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

You know, I'm discovering that half the appeal of jegulus for me is that it forces rosekiller and james to interact in a non-antagonistic way. And that dynamic is soooo fun. I need more. Like. Just some highlights for ya'll:

Evan: Great. You don't want Regulus to die. We don't want Regulus to die. Now we just have to make sure REGULUS doesn't want Regulus to die.

James: Fantastic, but have you met Regulus?

Barty, kicking down James door: POTTER!

James: What the HELL are you doing in here? Scratch that HOW the hell did you get in here?

Barty: Regulus told me, now WHERE ARE YOU GETTING YOUR BOOZE?

Regulus: James. You know how you said you'd do anything for me? Well. . .how much did you mean that?

James: With my whole heart. Anything. What do you need?

Regulus: Evan?

Evan: We need you to find Barty. He went into one of his fits of exam-stress-induced madness and he's been missing for three days.

James, suspicious that Reg blabbed about the map: Okay, why do you think I'd know where he is?

Evan: Because when you and Regulus were in your painful pining phase you were somehow able to avoid us AND stalk him everywhere. I don't know how you know where everyone is all the time, I just know you're doing it somehow. If you can't find him, I'll have to assume he finally made good on his threat to fling himself into the lake.

James: Is? Is this a recurring problem for you?

Evan: OH, and you've NEVER lost track of YOUR boyfriend OR your best friend because they were spiralling and have a complex from their shitty upbringing?

James: . . . Point taken. Give me 5 minutes.

Evan: *grabs James in the hallway and slams him against a wall*

Barty: Alright Potter, start talking!

James: Dammit you two! You know you can just ASK Regulus how it went after we go on a date, right? He'd probably be thrilled to tell you! Don't you two keep complaining about how much he won't shut up about me?

Evan: EXACTLY. If we encourage him, then we'll REALLY never hear the end of it. Now, did you do the thing we told you about?

James: the praise thing? Yeah, he reacted really well. Which you'd know if you ASKED REGULUS!

Barty: See, what did I tell you? He loves it! See you same time next week Potter!

James, yelling after them as they leave: I STILL WANNA KNOW HOW YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT BY THE WAY!

Evan: NO YOU DON'T!

Idk, I'm a sucker for not quite friends James and Rosekiller. I need more.

[ervotica]

27. kisses for cover at a party with poly!rosekiller. reader goes to evan to get a guy off you, he makes out with you, barty sees and is like "yay i wanna join" and then just devours you

ahhh i love them! poly!rosekiller x fem!reader, college!au ✩ 900 words

You slip beneath the handsome guy at the pub with practiced ease, dipping under his outstretched arm in an attempt to shake your unwelcome admirer of the evening.

To his credit, he doesn't flinch but rather curls his arm round the nape of your neck, tucking you into his shoulder in one fluid movement until you're mostly obscured. He dips his head low enough to murmur in your ear; his voice is like smooth, dark honey.

"Who you hiding from, lovely?"

"This bloke's been following me round all night," you admit, voice high and breathy. "He's still looking, I think. Will you- will you pretend to know me until he goes away?"

He grins and the sight almost blinds you; crinkled eyes and a soft smattering of freckles across his high cheekbones. Miles and miles of brown skin and a curly blonde mop that sits high on his head.

He really is lovely.

And if you'd met him under different circumstances, you'd be nervous for an entirely different reason.

"Consider it done, okay? No need to fret."

He tips his head lower until his nose brushes yours. You hold your breath in anticipation.

"Let's give the prick a show, yeah?"

Your insides flush white-hot as you wait for his lips to make contact. It's a languid sort of kiss, building in intensity as your mystery man flattens his tongue against your bottom lip. He palms at your neck, angling your face upward until you have no choice but to part your lips and let him lick into your mouth, soft and slow and deep.

You push up on your toes - encouraging him closer - and you feel the corners of his mouth tip up even as he indulges your wordless request.

The kiss ebbs and he pulls back. You bite your lip and try to pretend that he didn't just give you the best kiss of your life.

"I'm sorry," you say, cadence twinged with embarrassment. "I don't even know your name."

He smooths the pad of his thumb over your pencil lined eye and smiles, unperturbed. His expression is softer this time, something akin to fondness lingering in his eyes.

"Evan," he murmurs. "And you?"

"Y/N."

A weight settles at your back and you go rigid, pushing back into Evan's space with a startled gasp.

"It's okay, lovely girl," he placates with ease, as though he's known you for much longer than a few minutes. "This is Barty."

This boy is taller – sharper round the edges than Evan, but no less beautiful. His face is shrouded by thick, dark hair that contrasts so heavily with his pale skin it almost looks unnatural.

"Hi, pretty," he coos. "Oh, she is gorgeous, Ev. The gorgeous ones always love you."

"Hi," you almost whisper. You're suddenly even shyer under Barty's fervent gaze, red-hot at his rapt attention.

He folds at the waist and twirls one of your loose curls between his fingers. From here you can smell his breath, mint and vodka and something sweeter that lingers on the tip of his tongue.

He steps closer, right into your space until you're sandwiched snugly between the two of them.

"Do I get a kiss?" he asks, borderline pleading. Intense, for a man you've just met.

Your throat works around a thick swallow and you look down at your feet, suddenly overwhelmingly shy.

"Um..."

"Don't be jealous, babe," Evan placates, a lithe hand massaging teeny circles into your shoulder.

"I find a pretty little thing snogging my boyfriend and I'm supposed to not be jealous?"

You balk. Your eyes gloss over, and wet and wide and painfully apologetic.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'm really sorry."

"Shh." Evan loops an arm round your waist and tugs you neatly into his side. "He's teasing. He just wants a kiss, too, if you're willing to give it."

You can't deny that Barty is beautiful – all long, milky limbs and dark features. You nod tentatively.

"Okay."

Evan plants his chin in the juncture of your neck as Barty leans in, long fingers roaming the expanse of your waist with a fervour you've never felt before. Your stomach flips.

Barty's kiss is far more fervid. All tongues and clashing teeth as he angles his head to get more of your mouth on his– as though he wants to eat you whole.

You whine into his mouth when his hand settles on the dip of your spine and presses down, forcing you to arch up into him. There's not a part of you that isn't being touched in some way.

Especially not when Evan trails his lips along your pulse point and begins diligently sucking a bruise under your jaw.

Barty gets you by the nape of your neck and probes his tongue further into your mouth. He's persistent, flicking his tongue behind your front teeth until you gasp and open your mouth wider to grant him more access.

"There's a good girl," Evan says, voice rumbling against your back.

The trail of spit that stretches and bows between the two of you when Barty pulls back to get a good look at you has you feeling faint.

"Can we keep her, Ev?" Barty nuzzles his nose against the soft swell of your cheek.

"What do you say, angel? Can we keep you?"

You're too dazed to answer with more than a nod, curling your own arms around Barty's waist to keep him pressed against you.