#GET RUTH TO TALK ABOUT FACTS INSTEAD!

[l8tof1]

ruth buscombe on comms is so great! so great!! i learn so much, she always points out details no one else seems to care about or know about

i wish she could be on the broadcast every race!

[deconstructthesoup]

Thinking about a Nerdy Prudes Must Die swap AU

Steph---the mayor's kid who was put under a lot of academic pressure growing up, resulting in her getting lumped in with the nerds despite her struggling in school. She has to try twice as hard as everyone else, which gets seen as her being a buzzkill who does nothing but study, which makes teachers expect more from her... and, yeah, she's infinitely stressed. So stressed and burnt out, in fact, that when a pop quiz gets thrown at her out of nowhere, she finally breaks and asks to cheat off of...

Pete---one of the few popular kids who's popular not because he can play football or soccer or whatever, but because he's genuinely nice. He's taken Ted's advice just enough so he can seem cool without actively being a sleazeball, and he's even managed to be class president. Of course, he's still got a lot of nerdy interests he keeps under the rug, and he's also a lot smarter than he passes himself off as---so he never in a million years would've suspected that the mayor's cute nerdy daughter would want his help on a test, but he's prepared. Until, of course, they get caught by...

Max---the pastor's son who's well known throughout the school to be a judgmental and self-righteous asshole, holding himself and others to ridiculously high standards. He's still an untouchable menace, but instead of it being because he's a football star, it's because every single teacher and authority figure is swayed by his Good Christian Boy attitude, despite the fact that he has a C average (hey, you don't need to worry about grades if you're just going to take over running the church when you grow up). By all accounts, he's pretty much perfect---except for the fact that he has a secret thing for...

Grace---the head cheerleader who still grew up in a very Christian family, but she's embraced her crazy and has successfully talked her parents into letting her do more stereotypical high school stuff like, well, cheerleading ("it looks good on my college transcript, and it's a way for me to get steady exercise and keep myself in shape") and the occasional party ("it's just a fun thing between friends, and if any of them do anything reckless, I want to be there to help"). In reality, of course, she's the most unhinged popular girl in the history of ever, and nobody fucks with her because she's the type of girl who will bite you if you give her shit.

Brenda and Kyle are Steph's fellow struggling nerdy friends---Brenda got lumped in with the nerds because she's in the fandom zone, despite the fact that her head's usually in the clouds and she can barely pass classes, and Kyle's the awkward theater guy who's a total romantic but can't even properly talk to people he likes. By contrast, Richie and Ruth are Pete's friends, and while they aren't exactly cool, everyone knows Richie as the weirdly funny school mascot, and Ruth is Pete's incredibly cocky vice president. So, social clout.

And, uh... yeah

[anewstartrekfan]

Why I like Kirk so much and why I think he didn’t resonate as much with general audiences as Spock did

I think what Gene Roddenberry and the rest of the tos crew underestimated is how powerful knowledge of a character can be when they thought Kirk would be popular over Spock. As season 1 progresses while you do get information about both Kirk and Spock peppered through out, how much and how it’s conveyed is important.

Spock is Stoic yes, but surprisingly he talks about his past and what it means to be Vulcan a lot. And other characters comment on Vulcans too like McCoy describing where a Vulcan heart is. Even moving onto season 2, when Spock truly, desperately, does not want to explain what Pon Farr is or that Sarek is his father, he admits these things under pressure. And all of this information is what’s gives the audience an idea of what informs his actions.

Jim Kirk however, despite being very outgoing and charismatic, very rarely talks about himself. With few exceptions, every time you do learn something about his past it’s because someone else explains it or points it out. You’ve got where no man has gone before where Gary talked about their academy days, The naked time while Spock talked about his regrets, Kirk vents that he wants a personal connection and then is literally the only person who is able to will the virus to stop effecting him (on his own I mean) just long enough for McCoy to give him the cure.

The Android copy of Kirk tells us about Kirk’s brother Sam, in Conscience of the king literally everyone except Kirk explains his tragic tarsus iv backstory, we never find out who the Ruth girl is in shore leave, and it’s Bones that brings up Sam lives on Deneva. Even in season 2 in the worst episode ever, the deadly years, when Kirk is in a room alone with his ex fiancé, she explains their history. Not Kirk.

This man is allergic to talking about himself I love it.

Edit: Whenever Jim does even sorta talk about his past, it’s always in the context of what the other people he’s talking to know about it. Take Tarsus IV. Spock tells Jim that he checked the same library records. So when Jim finally opens up at the end of the conversation, it’s information Spock and Bones already know. “I saw him [Kodos] once, 20 years ago.” Then about 10 minutes later when he’s talking with Kodos and trying to get proof, he gives Kodos a copy of the speech Jim heard him read 20 years ago. Saying that he memorized the words. Again, these are things only the two of them would know about. It’s not something Jim exclusively went through.

Then later in Obsession when Jim is talking about his prior experience with the fog, everything he references was in the report he made after the Farragut disaster that he knows Spock and Bones read. There is no new information he reveals about what happened to him or even how he felt about it. Bones has to be the one to say Jim was wrecked with guilt because at the end of the day, Jim will never willingly talk about his past without knowing or thinking the other person he’s talking to has the same information. He will not reveal anything new 95% of the time.

Anyway back to the old blog.

While I’d argue conscience of the king does most of the work you would ever need to explain why Kirk is the way he is, the fact is we don’t learn much about his past through him. Instead it’s Kirk’s actions that inform our understanding of him. Which on some level I like a lot. It’s rare that a tv series doesn’t lean heavily into some tragic backstory explaining why a character acts the way they do. But it isn’t just he doesn’t have multiple tragic backstories. It’s what we know nothing about his past in general. Ffs we didn’t learn he grew up in Iowa until Star Trek IV. It might not even be Riverside! That town just claimed it for themselves and everyone rolled with it.

Edit: SNW did confirm after almost 40 years that riverside is Kirk’s birthplace.

The audience never truly closes the gap with Kirk because he never willingly opens up (at least where I am in the show idk maybe the movies change this) So comparatively Spock just had more going on.

[lockandkeyhyena]

SadboyCats Masterpost

What is SadboyCats?

SadboyCats is my main oc universe! It’s basically just me having fun with anthropomorphic cats :) there’s no set main story yet but characters all have backstories and exist in the same world/timeline.

What is this masterpost for?

To help keep people keep track of the lore and story!! SbC is my most disorganised story so here’s a way for you guys to actually know whats going on lol. This won’t be completely comprehensive of every single post i’ve ever made, but will cover the broad strokes so you can understand the characters and timeline before diving into the tag if you’re further interested!

Main Characters

Fly

Angry, sad, apathetic and kind of a dickhead, Fly is content to exist scraping by with petty thievery trying to cover his monthly rent in his shitty apartment. That is, until he thieves from the mob and is caught red-handed. Instead of killing him outright, the one in charge decides to utilise his unique talents for their own ends. Now, stuck forced to commit illegal actions for a group of cats he couldn’t give less of a shit about, all Fly cares about is not dying or going to jail.

Hercules Beetle

Self-assured, aloof, intelligent and polite, this blind mob boss is in charge of the mafia. Having inherited his position from his mother when she went to prison, Hercules believes he is wholly content with his life despite having to deal with the occasional nuisance. When he comes across Fly, he sees a unique opportunity to fix a thorn in his side and forcefully enlists his talents to the mafia.

Leroy

Relaxed, jolly and ever-vigilant, this cheerful mobster is Hercules’ second in hand. Despite outward appearances, Leroy hardly ever lets anything slip about his past and very little is known about him to those he is not close to. All that you need to know, he says, is to not get on Herc’s bad side.

Fulgur

Eccentric, impulsive, fickle and vivacious, this chaotic master thief has been a thorn in Hercules’ side for a decade, constantly stealing from him and setting his assets on fire, it seems all he wants is the blind cats’ attention. Leader of a gang of thieves, he’s always on the lookout for new recruits.

Important Side Characters

Titan Beetle

Hercules Beetle’s mother and Goliath Beetle’s widow, she has been in jail for tax evasion for the past decade and is almost ready for release.

Goliath Beetle

Hercules Beetle’s late father and former head of the mob, Goliath tragically died when he was shot in the head five times by an unknown assailant.

Ruth Martha

Freelance detective and close personal friend of Titan Beetle, Ruth was the detective first assigned to the Goliath Beetle case back in the day.

Heather Martha

Cheeky, optimistic and friendly, Heather may not approve of her best friend Hercules’ lifestyle, but that doesn’t stop her from caring about him.

All Other Characters

Main Story

Fly, having been caught thieving from the mob, is thrown into a new dangerous lifestyle and enlisted by Hercules and Leroy as a double agent to try and take down Fulgur’s gang of thieves from the inside.

Hercules, dealing with the fact that his mother has just been released from prison and back into his life, tries to distract himself from painful memories by investing in a new project- a way to take down his arch nemesis Fulgur for good.

Curious about my characters? Feel free to go through their tag or shoot me an ask about them! I’m always happy to talk!

[fallinginaforrest]

SPOILER WARNING FOR WORKIN BOYS, I BREAK DOWN MY FAVOURITE SHOTS. SPOILERS WILL BE HERE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Okay here's my opinion:

Curt being the DP for Workin' boys is the best thing that coulda happened to it. There are so many choices that were made during filming that just absolutely heighten the level of comedy. It's shot like a Mockumentary almost? The shakycam and the randomized movement? As someone who wrote a Mockumentary last year, I can only dream of pulling off a film like this.

A couple things I wanna point out:

-the minuscule push in on Hidgens when he realises he won the workshop competition feels very office-ey.

-the cut back to MK's amused face had me WHEEZING

-the pan over to Paul as be reminds Hidgens to remember the changes

-"apparently a musical about six men bonding on a football field isnt 'of the times..."'etc, this line right here felt like a talking head, I appreciated it.

-those time cards eg: "Rehearsal #2, 28 days until opening" lent itself so much to the documentarian feel of it.

-"wow, what an auteur", not a camerawork comment but I appreciate the joke for all of the film and theater theory studiers

-the "rehearsal montage" I love a good meta joke.

-even in this montage, the camera is never really onstage. At all. Like, it's always situated off to the side or in the audience, and then zoomed in, the documentarian is trying to capture all of the action on stage instead of trying to make us feel immersed in the rehearsal process. We're not really aligned with any of the characters, we're an audience, and we better stay that way. For our own sake.

-and then this dynamic totally changes, and shifts away from the mockumentary feel

-but I'll get to that in a second

-henry is almost always by himself in the shot. I think the one of the only other times that the entirety of another character's face is seen alongside Henry's (I mean, both faces are CLEAR and uncovered in the shot) is in the two shot of him and Paul's stage manager in the rehearsal montage. He is totally singular in his experiences with this show! He is not one of these girls, if anything he is opposed to them. And this becomes clearer later, but it's a nice seed to sow, establishing that he is not in a collaborative mindset at all. The only other time I can think of is him and Zoey behind the curtain, even then, the only time both of their faces are actually IN the shot is when they're behind all the workin' girls. There's probably more but ykwim.

-also the sheer number of times that Henry is off centre in the shot with just a bunch of space surrounding him.

-okay after "two week notice" or whatever tf that song is called (Kim sounds amazing as always) is when the style shifts. It feels less like a mockumentary and more like this sort of voyeuristic peek into Henry's psyche. I LOVE IT.

-the fact that he is never shown in the shot with the workin' boys! It makes you absolutely feel like he is just talking to the air around him (this is hatchetfield so who knows, either way its unsettling)

-we get aligned with ruth, for the first time, we see the audience from the perspective of a character, not just from a stage POV

-the camera roll!! We don't get a full rotation but we feel dizzy and unsettled when we look at ruth, which is exactly how she feels!

-camera roll close up on Zoey. Uncomfortable, unsettling! Rests in a canted angle before continuing to roll on Hidgens! Who is centered in a low angle shot! We don't see the axe until he brings it up to his face! He is not only in a position of power here, but revealing the axe only when Henry makes it clear he is gonna kill them makes it clear that he calls the shots! We've departed from the Mockumentary style completely, as if this was never a documentary to begin with, more like we're flies on the wall or spirits in the theater or omniscient eldritch beings... anyway-

-long shot of Henry dragging zoey's body, no footage of them being killed, aligns us with the audience

-our friend the camera is getting shakey again, the chaos is in the process of ensueing

-THE PULL OUT SHOT OF GRACE WITH THE GUN. I GASPED. I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AND I GASPED. Fun fact on my first watch I thought this was a dolly shot but I dont think y'all are fitting a dolly on the Hudson theater main stage steps, and also the distance is too short so it must have been a pull out. It was REALLY SMOOTH.

-notice, when grace quotes the bible, we are EVER SO SLIGHTLY looking up at her. It gets progressively more obvious the further she gets into the line, but she has the power now. Somehow she always ends up with the fuckin' power, maybe I should convert to christianity smh.

-shakeycam is back again baby!

The creative minds put so much love and care into Hatchetfield, and you can tell that every project is a passion project. People know starkid primarily as a theater company, and that's great and all, but in reality it's an Avenue for all kind of creatives to not only have the opportunity to create all kinds of amazing things, let alone theater, but also have a way to show people. It's moved past being a theater company, with things like Starkid returns and Workin' boys, it's more like a production collective, and it feels like the beginning of a new era. Not only in terms of broadening the way that they Express themselves and be creative, but also in terms of finding a new niche in the industry. Finding a new, wider audience. Because yeah, you're always gonna have people that dislike the new media you produce, for nostalgia's sake or whatever, but beyond that, there are going to be be people that absolutely love what you have to offer. There's no point in trying to revert back to the way it was before, or trying to cater specifically to an audience from an era gone by. How do you grow as an artist if you're always thinking in the past? Starkid is moving in a new direction. The next musical is likely not going to be hatchetfield, but I dont even mind because it's going to be new. New is always good, and Starkid has a bright future.

TL;DR @curtmega you're a literal genius, and starkid is TOTALLY AWESOME

[ninthprime]

i don’t ever post about snowpiercer on here despite the fact that i’ve watched it since season one started- not sure why i didn’t share my thoughts frankly. i was definitely adjacent to the circles that dismissed season one for seeming like a murder mystery show at first, and i thought it was alright, but season two was actually the one that really impressed me and made me an actual fan of the show (which seems to not be the opinion of most people in the fandom, interestingly). part of it is that i have almost never watched it live for the most part- it’s the last of the shows that my dad and i would watch together when i lived at home, so i don’t usually remember to start it until he does. and maybe i still thought it was cringe? but look, i’m firmly of the belief that everyone needs a show that’s basically a 7/10 but that you feel an attachment to nonetheless.

uh, all that said, i’m up to 4x06 now (and pretty thoroughly spoiled on the rest of the season) so here’s some season four thoughts

first of all i cant believe no one has made a "i miss my wife tails" edit of till talking to ben. literally all that was playing in my head whenever she brought up audrey

to get the big thing out of the way: i’m slightly less peeved about new eden allowing layton and co to take the train than most people, but to me the frustrating part is actually that i think the problems with that storyline are fairly easy to fix, to the point that i wonder if a scene was deleted. by the end of 4x06 we know for a fact that millius’ group is planning to ambush new eden (the bombs oz found), but i think it’s pretty obvious that new eden is under some sort of threat from the moment liana gets kidnapped and zarah dies. this is less of a 100% solution and more a papering over, but i think all you really need is someone else giving another speech after layton’s not-speech in 4x03 about how everyone’s loved ones on snowpiercer are being worked to death, and now the people responsible appear to have killed a new eden resident and kidnapped a child- meaning they’ve found the town already and likely have plans for everyone there. if you give that speech, you don’t have to frame this storyline as “new eden lets layton risk everything for his kid”; you can instead do “new eden knows they’re at potentially immediate risk, so they’re sending a scouting mission with hopes of helping their loved ones and saving themselves.” you’d still be able to do the “layton is making selfish choices for his kid” story, because i think everyone in his main circle would pick up that it’s what he’s doing, and they’d have to work around that and bounce off of it. you could still poke a lot of holes in this but i think that would reduce a lot of the frustration with the premise of this season.

more scattered thoughts:

zarah’s death is not something i like but it’s entirely not a surprise. that said, if they had to do it, i think having josie there is exactly the right move. that part worked real well for me.

ben’s death is also pretty well executed for me! seeing him literally hype himself up to die and then seeing till at the last moment was rough! i feel like if i ever rewatch (and i’m definitely thinking about it) i need to pay more attention to ben. he has a rough edge to him that i think is easy to forget about (ie. being a big part of mel’s choice to steal the train) and seeing his arc as a whole strikes me as a worthwhile exercise.

for all that’s shaky about season 4 it’s giving me a lot of my favorite snowpiercer thing, which is “the appealing cast/characters of this show bouncing around in fun new ways.” ben and till’s friendship was great, i loved the till and ruth talking in the bath scene, and i think the javi-sykes-oz trio is the most chaotic “throw a bunch of supporting characters into a storyline and see what happens” bit that we’ve ever had. oz leaving a severed hand on javi’s desk and then that turning into javi trying to show sykes he trusts her by showing her said severed hand gave me the biggest “this is the weird shit that i watch this show for!!” reaction i’ve had so far.

i think everyone is underrating the javi/sykes stuff this season actually, beyond just “this is cute.” i’m biased because i love them both (javi is tied with alex as my favorite character in this show and sykes has always been underutilized, so i’m extremely happy to see her more), but i found both their conversations about their relationship in 4x04 to be really interesting- javi interpreting her as overprotective of him, sykes having a lot of hangups about everyone trusting her, etc. it turns out that when you bond with someone over being abused by the same person you both still have trauma about that thing. and this is exactly the type of hets i like, so i’m biting into it like a juicy apple.

speaking of alex i have been lowkey disappointed that she hasn’t done much yet but it has been interesting seeing her have to hold back about her worries for new eden and now mourning ben because she’s juggling her seemingly endless list of dads. will be very interested to see her with her mom again.

gotta give a shout out to my two favorite fits in this season so far: 1. audrey’s little work headband outfit in 4x02, of course she is killing it even on the killer work train, and 2. sykes’ pink overalls agsec outfit which is soooo cute on her. also till’s new haircut this season unironically works for me lol

the purest joy of this show is whenever a minor character who has inexplicably survived for four seasons pops up and gets to do things. every time i see dr pelton, tristan, z-wreck, or lights i’m hooting and hollering.

hey “jackson cage” came up on shuffle while i wrote this post and that’s a snowpiercer song if there ever was one. does anyone here make amvs. i’m giving that to you all for free. make it any ship you want, i can think of like three that fit

anyway what if i posted about this show now that the entire thing is done. that’d be fucking funny

[joons]

barbie is a fun, clever, visual feast with some lovely moments that i am happy to see resonate with people. the movie is definitely worth seeing. but i would only give the film a 3.5/5.

i am now going to talk at length about my thoughts on the film, most of which will be an attempt to understand what is being said here.

i think barbie's acceptance of the gender wars as inevitable and perpetual ends up being more regressive than a lot of what it's trying to critique. it mostly ends in a healthier place, but along the way, it has little ability to make meaning outside of that frame. i loved the interactions barbie had with older women, particularly ruth, and i think there's a wonderful message there about girls needing both aspirational role models and grounded older mentors who can help them manage any obstacles they find. what a wonderful theme, and one that is given subtle, genuine weight, which i prefer over the more overt, "telling" moments the film does throughout. but a lot of the story gets sidetracked in assuming women's role is tricking men (a role foisted on them as a reaction to the patriarchy, so don't blame them) and that any true reconciliation or mutual support between men and women is only based on pity. i think the film could have landed better as a reflection on womanhood if it actually dared to be about ... women. if it could imagine women as more. if it truly tried to show the complex roller-coaster of emotions instead of staying stuck in one gear.

i have seen people say how ironic it is that ken is the best part of a barbie film, but it's true, on even deeper levels than people realize. why is ken the only one with true agency, whose feelings are true to himself and not a reflection of someone playing with him? where is the boy playing with his sister's dolls and desperately trying to understand why he feels so inadequate? why are those questions never asked in a film that generates endless questions and observations about human frailty? none of the barbies are capable of doing anything for themselves; they are easily brainwashed by the kens, and all it takes to shake them out of it is a speech about how "complex" women are. kens just have to accept themselves as they are to be happy; barbies have to believe they are doing something productive and worthwhile. except main barbie, who feels like she can't do anything meaningful, because this movie thinks the different barbies are genuinely incapable of doing something if they don't have an outfit to go with it. if the point is that she feels less than because she has seen the real world and feels unprepared for it, well, none of the other barbies would have fared better. astronaut barbie couldn't get a job at nasa, just like beach ken can't get a job at beach. the one time we see barbie make a choice for herself, unprompted by others, unburdened from her anxieties, is to ... go to the gynecologist. um. empowering. i guess.

(i think the ken/barbie plot would have worked better if they were "packaged" together. there's no real reason this ken has the crisis, why barbie feels any special responsibility for him.)

the fact that barbie begins to feel angst and anxiety as a result of real women's insecurities is fascinating; in being the avatar of girls' hopes, she also becomes their "competition," a symbol of all their grief and all their inadequacies. maybe you can see how kens get off easy here; they are not evolved enough; they will never be chosen by the gods as friends or idols or objects of hatred. that could have been explored more, especially through the mother-daughter relationship. why do teenagers begin pulling away from their mothers? perhaps for the same reason they grow out of barbie, because they want to be something beyond the touchstones of femininity they have. they want to be their own person and have to separate themselves, but the girls their age are obsessed with tearing each other down and taking their insecurities out on each other because they feel broken. barbie was experiencing that rejection for the first time. the film could have had something to say about how women can be cruel to one another as they struggle to find their own paths, but it's understandable and part of learning to identify what feels real and true to you. but none of the human characters have enough screentime to address any of this.

i liked the point that women dolls are saddled with the same impossible standards that many women feel. they're blamed in society for women's insecurities and also become totemic, like, "we gave you barbie, what more do you want?" i get that, i get the frustration that animates some of the plot, but i couldn't relate to it all that much. but it does ring true for me that b a r b i e as a concept, a company, a doll, is not the problem or the solution. she's just cool.

("why not make barbies that are relatable and normal?" the movie suggests. oh my god....... 💀 💀 💀 what year is this?)

i think allan (almost inadvertently, or at least subtly) makes the movie's best point: the lack of expectations can be an incredible gift. without them, you are free to become your own person on your own time instead of feeling less than because you're comparing yourself to others. we must all be allan. allan is our friend.

there are honestly so many smart concepts and sly commentary here that feel buried in Telling Not Showing; like the ken war was SO funny, and it would have hit hard if we saw the barbies struggling to find a way to understand and interact with the kens ... and they decide to play nice before realizing jealousy and competition seem to motivate the kens ... and then the kens do the most ken thing and do a normandy reenactment to gain women's attention. that's so archetypal, such a funny nod to the cyclical weirdness of human history, to the idea that women (and men) work within the system that is created for or against them, using the tools they have, living up to the gender roles/models they've been taught! but because the characters are like "i know what we will do. we will manipulate them and then they will go to war because they are men!" it's like ... ugh. it messes up the pacing of that whole sequence. it kills the surprise and delight of watching it unfold, so all we can react to are the sight gags (giving mouth to mouth to the horse lmaoooo) and the juxtoposition of war film and gene kelly musical. but the actual gender role commentary is stated so explicitly, afraid to question itself, afraid to say anything surprising or insightful, that it amounts to putting everyone right back in their box. the film tries to balance this at the end, pitying patriarchy as a cope against death, trying to empower the kens to be themselves, but it refuses to imagine any true healing or change, anything beyond "well, kids need to imagine barbieland as a matriarchal utopia, even though we have established that doing so leaves them unprepared for a world of unfair standards they can't control." all women can expect to do is fight for a land of dreams, but always know that the most that land can achieve is creating an image that will be sold back to them as empowerment. genuinely, what the FUCK is the point of this film. oh, it's too hard to say that imagination is what makes us human and that ultimately means more than the object. again, the film will outright state some version of this idea ("I want to do the imagining, I don't want to be the idea"), but every other part of the plot undercuts it with its own failure to imagine women as more than reactive.

and it had the chance to let women be real characters! (hell, does this movie even remember that barbie has Lore, a Family, a Last Name, that she hasn't been "just a doll" in a long, long time?) but the film seems to set up plots that would have given us organic interactions and fully realized characters. i got so excited when america's character, gloria, showed up, because okay, we're going to be able to explore womanhood through the eyes of a real person, we're going to see the push and pull between idealized utopias and dreams and real-world survival and hope and despair by learning more about her. but no. gloria is there to give a speech that doesn't sum up her life and her passions but all women in very generic terms. it's not experiential, it's definitional (and it's a definition built on what a woman is not -- not this, not this, can't be that). it is relying on the audience to point and say, "i recognize that," instead of building gloria as a person we love and know and laugh and cry with. you are building a wall between the story and your audience; if they never had "complicated feelings" about barbie, if they aren't sure why gloria cares so much about the doll while her daughter has such a negative reaction, then it is not going to let them in and explain that. it is going to say, "if you don't get it, you are brainwashed, probably, or a man, and you don't want to see it, and i am not going to open it up to you because it is an exclusive club, intentionally, because it is the only club we have, and i am not going to open it up to further ridicule or commentary, even though that is what this entire movie is doing." gah! tell a story! tell a STORY! surprise me! why are we just pointing at things?

i'm telling you, when barbie sits on that bench and has an interaction with an older lady, who is totally at ease in her own skin, who is un-selfconscious and not angry and peaceful, it brought immediate tears to my eyes. it was such a breath of fresh air. a real person, reacting in a way that surprises and moves you. what was her story. who is she. what is her secret to confidence and balance, and how can women share that with one another. no no no, go go go, take on capitalism and patriarchy until you're too tired to remember how to laugh, this is healthy and good. @~@

ultimately i am talking about the themes i wish were there or wish were more emphasized because the messages that are there feel contradictory. for instance, the kens' patriarchy is shallow and cartoonish, both in barbieland and the real world (that mattel executives were just as stupid and pointless as TOY PEOPLE was so INTERESTING to me; like what does it mean that men can still "play," and get paid enormously for it? but it's kind of just "isn't this dumb"), and the barbies are more than happy to manipulate their kens' emotions to get what they want. america ferrera tells barbie she is justified to feel mad at ken for what he did to her and her friends. but in the next scene, barbie comforts ken and connects to his feelings of vulnerability. it feels like the movie is rolling its eyes through the scene, when it could have been a really beautiful, sweet moment where humanity is recognized as universal, a true "man was not meant to be alone" moment of meaning, turned inside out and shaken and reconfigured as complementary and supportive, where barbie and ken realize community is crucial to weathering their own insecurities and flawed emotional responses, and maybe you can need someone without making it your whole personality. maybe the fear of connection is something all girls start to struggle with as they become teenagers, and they need that world where men don't want anything from them, and they want to cling to it a little longer than necessary. but because it's been bookended with "of course he's going to cry about it, don't give in, it's not your job to support him," the emotional core of the scene is undercut by shallower stuff. the scene genuinely reads like "placating men is important and you should do it," which is INSANE to me, but that's what is coming across with the wild whiplash between rage and sweetness, denying kens any humanity the whole film and trying to patch it up right at the end. barbie's ennui stems from the fact that a weary mother is playing with her, but the rest of the barbies - and the film as a whole - feel puppeted by the surly teenager who has not moved beyond rage-filled one-liners. i don't like that this is the case because those moments of human connection (barbie with the older woman on the bench, the mother-daughter relationship, even ken trying to understand why he cares so much what other people think of him) are so great. we're just supposed to ... not apply compassion to characters the film doesn't like. and we are supposed to like the characters we do like not because we are experiencing their lives with them but because they are saying The Right Things Loudly.

(and don't you love how the film even has a prepackaged response to being criticized? wanting men to be real people is brainwashed behavior. wanting women to have thoughts that go beyond regurgitated feminism 101 catchphrases is asking too much of a plastic toy. it's just a reflection or reality, see, but it's also exaggerated satire. i think the glib tone just crept into everything and made for some wild subtext that i don't even think the film recognizes.)

greta gerwig is more successful at dealing with the tension between made "things" and real life in little women. jo, as a stand-in for louisa may alcott, is resistant to getting jo "married off" and only caves in to get the book published. but the life and joy still sing in the scene where she reunites with bhaer, even when the audience is already primed to see it as artificial and cynical. the play between what jo says she wants and what jo indulges in is obvious; we can find joy and light even in the things that feel like a compromise of our principles. sometimes they are better than life, better than what we could imagine, they take on lives of their own, they become little women who exist off the page and no longer have to carry the burden of being "The One Narrative For Women" because they spark thousands of other stories and hopes and longings that the author doesn't have to be responsible for. as much as i waffle on whether i like the ending of gerwig's little women, it's clear that part of greta is throwing up her hands, in a "but what do i know?" gesture ... indulgent romance might just be the little antidote we need to stave off the lonely feelings we get sometimes. it's not weak, it's not a compromise, it's just cool.

for whatever reason, she doesn't bring that same verve or ambiguity to this film; she can't infuse barbie with meaning beyond what her critics say about her. barbies, like women, have to be perfect, but they can't be. they can't be totems, but they are. we must get away from them, but we can't. they are creations of men, but women can't think their way out of the box. barbie is an immortal ideal, but none of what she symbolizes has any impact.

"that's the point. it's complicated," greta says to me. "my job here is done."

"but declaring things complicated is not a point of view!" i yell back. "you didn't do anything!"

maybe i am too invested in barbie to even recognize that people have such negative feelings about her. maybe i have seen this premise done better in the lego movie, teen beach movie, barbie: life in the dreamhouse! (all of which genuinely love toys and kids/teen media and are not using them to sort out their own disgruntled feelings — and have a genuine belief that even flawed media bankrolled into existence can be real art, something gerwig seems so skeptical about that she lets her ambivalence about taking on this particular directorial gig become the driving tension in the story. how ... relatable?) maybe i have unresolved issues with greta's themes from little women and am now realizing how little she seems to get the things that matter to me, and we just need to part ways.

as anthony lane writes in the new yorker, "maybe the movie is for greta gerwig. and, by extension, for anyone as super-smart as her—former barbiephiles, preferably, who have wised up and put away childish things."

to that, i'd put a quote from c.s. lewis, whose work greta will soon try to get her hands around: "when i became a man i put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." the soul shudders at a narnia, a barbieland, a march family home, that are only notable for how "complicated" our feelings about them are supposed to be, and i think that puts my thoughts on greta's work into words.

now ... proust barbie, i would buy.

[multi-fandomdisaster]

hello i was doing my daily peter tag check and i saw your post please talk about the space bastard au

YES!!!!! SOMEBODY ASKED!!!!!

So the Space Bastard AU - officially called "Time and Space" (although I really use both titles interchangeably) - takes place post-NPMD and focuses on the fact that Tinky was totally hyped about the idea of nabbing another Spankoffski for his toy box during The Summoning. It follows Peter as he deals with having to navigate his life through the trauma of everything that happened in NPMD, including life without Ruth and Richie at his side (luckily with an awesome and really supportive girlfriend who went through the same trauma he did), alongside a bunch of sudden string weird dreams he starts having that he can never completely remember, all of which involve a certain yellow Lord in Black...

Some further details:

Rather than the mayor directing them to the Black Book in the forest during NPMD, he's instead going to lead the nerds to Miss Holloway, who will apprehensively allow them to borrow it to fix the whole Jägerman situation. They never do end up returning it though, as Grace still keeps the book for herself at the end. I'm pretty sure this is the only change to NPMD I make in here, and it's really just so Holloway can be here, since if she didn't have the book in the original story, then that means she likely didn't survive the battle with Wiley & wouldn't be in the story at all.

At some point pretty early on in the story, Pete's gonna rediscover Miss Retro's (since the last time he was there, they were all about to be murdered by a ghost) and subsequently semi-"re-meet" Miss Holloway. She is very important to this story, and effectively serves the role of "guide/character who explains what's going on to Pete because while she's experienced with the Lords in Black, he sure as heck doesn't know what's going on".

Homeless Man Ted is ALSO here! Turns out he's become a regular at Miss Retro's, as Miss Holloway gives him free food and an occasional place to huddle during particularly cold days. Yes, he and Peter will reunite. Yes, I will be using him for further Tinky-related angst.

On that note though, Ted's been missing for ~2 years during the events of this story. It's an understandably sore spot for Peter.

As you probably already guessed, I specifically chose title of "Space Bastard" for Pete as a callback to Ted's "Time Bastard" status & Tinky's moniker as the "Bastard of Time and Space." Where Ted is stuck traveling through time, Peter's going to be stuck traveling through alternate realities.

Tinky makes his first big move on Peter's birthday of all things. Pete's sitting on a couch watching a movie with Steph, fairly satisfied with his day, before he gets yoinked through the seat (You know the feeling of falling in a dream? It's like that) and finds himself...on a different couch? Watching a different movie? And what the hell is Ted doing here? Didn't he go missing 2 years ago? Where's Steph?

Honestly I could spend an eternity talking about this one scene ALONE, but long story short, Tinky ruins the nice moment of Pete suddenly being reunited with his lost sibling & Pete eventually does get back to his home reality a la Ted "waking up" back at Paul & Emma's wedding in Time Bastard. If anyone wants me to go further into detail about this scene, I HAPPILY will, because there's so much I want to talk about with it lol

Oh yeah! And Pete talks about this specific set of events (which he rationalizes as a really weird dream) to Miss Holloway the next time he's at Miss Retro's, which kicks off the main "try to make it so Peter avoids his fate" storyline of the AU.

Spoiler alert: Peter won't win. No matter what he or anyone else does, he can't escape his destiny. He'll eventually be pulled into the box just like his older brother before him.

[disregardcanon]

npmd nbc's community au

these aren't exact roleswaps or anything, more approximations

Grace as Shirley

Max as Troy

Pete as Annie

Richie as Abed

Ruth as Britta

Steph as Jeff

Ziggy as Duncan

grace is in her mid-twenties instead of her thirties, but she still has kids. we're going with a four year old and a two year old. she recently left her her husband because he's trying to go like... fundamentalist as opposed to her very evangelical roots. think quiverful and stop being active in community life shit. and grace is like??? uh... no? we are having Four Children and i have Very Important Things to Do and When Our Kids Are In Grade School I'm Going Back to School and Into the Workforce, jerk? (the jerk is gabe.)

she decides to divorce him and is suddenly... a single mother with two young children and no work experience. oh boy. mark and karen aren't HAPPY about her divorcing her husband, but they also trust her judgement and aren't actually from the very patriarchal and Procreation Is the Only Way to Honor God school of fundies. the chastities only have one kid, after all, and for all their faults... they seem like a loving couple. i dunno. i'm giving them the benefit of the doubt on this one.

so grace, mother of two and recent divorcee, enrolls in greendale community college and moves back in with her parents, who help her take care of the kids.

steph- as jeff. this is not because the names rhyme but that IS kind of funny. she's in her mid twenties and just got disbarred for Not Having A Law Degree, How the FUCK Did You Fake That?!?!?!?!? hint: her dad is a lawyer both before and after becoming the mayor and steph is very good at just. making shit up and trying to sound like she knows what she's talking about.

she ran away from home late in high school and slowly built up a life for herself and a job and a string of partners that she couldn't really connect with because, huh. maybe lying about your age and your schooling and your everything makes it difficult to connect with people emotionally? who woulda thought.

her friend ziggy is a professor at the school and is able to get her in, and she realizes that since she's actually here. in school. she has to figure out how to scrape by. a... study group? maybe? ugh. she hates that idea.

pete- as annie edison. he's 20 years old and still trying to cling to his high school dreams by his teeth. unlike annie edison, he was bullied extensively, but JUST like annie edison he was very successful in high school and a lot of that was because of misuse of stimulant medications.

due to an overdose during high school finals week, he's able to graduate but lost his spot as valedictorian because he got zeroes on his finals and final projects due to missing it. he also did not get to walk at graduation because he was. hospitalized. as the doctors tried to figure out how to wean him off these things and deal with the interactions between his diabetes and a constant misuse of stimulants for over a year.

rehab took almost a year, and his parents are so unpleasant about his failures and the fact that he lost out on all these amazing schools he applied to for getting caught that they can't even. be kind about him recovering at all or getting into community college SO that he can go to a university like he hoped. it gets so nasty with his parents that he packs it up and moves onto ted's couch, which at least. is better than being guilted for breathing at home.

HE is the first one that steph approaches about a study group, but not as much because she wants to sleep with him (like jeff and britta) as because he seems like he'd do her homework for her and "a group" that's only them will make sure he doesn't think this is a DATE but also if she doesn't look for anyone else she doesn't have to deal with that.

ruth- as britta, but she's the one who least easily maps onto her character. a lot of that's because britta is a lot less well written than the others? the big thing we're going with for ruth is that she's done a LOT but she's been unsuccessful with stuff. protests, relationships, acting career, community organizing, relationships. she's in her early thirties and back in her hometown trying to take care of some gen eds so she can get licensed to teach acting and make some kind of consistent money.

she is VERY horny, she is actually quite talented, and now that she's not a bullied high schooler anymore she is actually super hot. that's the reason that when she says she wants to join the "study group" when she overhears steph pitching it to pete steph decides to actually go with it. (they have an on again off again thing for a while but it doesn't really work out. steph and ruth end up making each other MORE insecure and really digging into each other's tender spots.)

richie- as abed! he has so much autism! he draws manga and relates to the world through anime! he decides to attach himself to steph very early on because he's like "now that's an anime protagonist right there ladies and gents" and she's like i don't know what that means. and he's like!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!! iT MEANS YOU!!!!!!! his relationships with everyone becomes the heart of the story and he is NOT a loser.

max- as troy. he took a terrible fall right before his team went to state. they probably would have won if he was playing, but he wasn't. so they lost. he was injured so badly that he spent a month in a wheelchair, a few months on crutches and then a long time in physical therapy. he kept thinking that maybe (maybe!) he could still play college ball and trying to pitch himself to schools desperately over the summer, but he can't and his grades were shit. so he was only able to get into greendale.

he doesn't still do physical bullying (largely because he's still shaky from his injury) but he is VERY mean and joins the study group for two reasons: grace decided to insert herself into the situation and he thinks it's really hot she turned him down and is older, and two: he knows he won't make it through this community college thing by himself. he doesn't have any leeway anymore from being a sports star and he knows he's bad at school.

pete doesn't want to let him in because they went to high school together (like annie and troy) but max was his bully instead of his far off crush. so he's like yeah no thank you i am not interested in this. if he's here i'm leaving. and the whole rest of the group knows that he's going to pull them through this by the teeth so they're like maxwell jagerman if you do not Make Amends to that boy we aren't gonna let you sit at our lunch table. he's almost ready to see if he can just bully someone else into tutoring him instead, but then grace gets flirty like If You Repent Maybe I willllll go for you. so he tries to make things better and they become A Study Group

slowly, he starts to grow as a person and open himself up to having fun and being kind. he and grace have a romantic entanglement that the whole group just HATES that eventually dies, and then he and richie get into a Whatever Troy and Abed have going on. i think it's qpr but interpret how you wish

ziggy is a botany professor and what? of COURSE they're not growing weed in the greenhouse to sell to emma perkins and her dispensary. hahaha you've got this all wrong they are an UPSTANDING professor of an UPSTANDING subject! which does not include marijuana!

grace and ruth, actually, eventually end up together after their entanglements with max and steph respectively. ruth is amazing with grace's kids? and she's also very very sexy and their roleplay helps grace feel... less bad about herself and her desires? she works through some internalized hatred for both having sexual desire and being bi and ruth both finds it all very attractive and is mature enough to help her through it? they both have The Life Experience that max jagerman and his very limited emotional intelligence... did not

steph and pete keep accidentally being attracted to each other and getting VERY upset about it because that is a guy that wears bow ties and is still so tightly wound he might snap and that's a girl who cheated her way through two degrees and a bar exam. the age difference is a little less than jeff and annie since i aged pete up a little and steph down a little, but it is still VERY weird and they cannot figure out if either of them even want to be in a relationship or if it would be good for them or what. but by god do they keep gravitating towards each other. and each time they collide again they're a little more compatible (I NEVER WANTED YOU AAANNNYYYWAAAYY)

[deme-real-life]

In the depths of Aperture Science, they tell stories. Short tales are told, murmured softly in warm metallic tones. Stories are thrown around, embellished and exaggerated to the point of near-unrecognizability. GLaDOS was nearly destroyed by a human! The human was about to flood her servers, and then some moron fucked the whole operation up, getting them both killed. Her ghost probably still walks around here like the rat man. Whispers when the camera’s light doesn't blink. Some days, it makes Fact Core angry. He was there, he says to anyone he hears parroting the false narrative. It's worse than those facts he hears about Babe Ruth supposedly dying of “cancer" instead of all those hot dogs, since he was there–it’s not just true, it's additionally real. Something he was there for. But even still, he doesn't have all the details. He was only there for the end, when the human got the most interesting idea he'd ever seen, when he was the sole surviving core, when he saw GLaDOS try as hard as she could with all her effort to save that human—

Some days, Fact Core wishes he could meet the human. Set the record straight.

Then again, she's probably dead.

In the sunny fields of the surface, they tell stories. Warm voices whistling among amber grain. There's so many people with such similar backgrounds, all telling their own stories. Mel, with such a similar name, regained her voice, talking about a core named Virgil and how she knows about GLaDOS, how she was an Olympic runner before all of this, back in the ‘50s. 4509, usually silent, talks about time travel and GLaDOS too, about fighting off headcrab zombies with nothing but an inactive portal gun. Tag, who doesn't even remember their name, talks about an annoying little jerk named Nigel and having to climb out of Aperture, no thanks to the core. On some days, Chell wants to tell her own story, put those sign language skills to work. She knows that 4509 knows sign language, so it's not as though no one would understand her, but—they wouldn't get it. There's nothing that quite compares to the experience of GLaDOS speaking to you directly, with such fervent animosity. It can't be put into words, let alone gestures.

Some days, Chell wishes she could go back there. Feel it one more time.

Then again, she'd probably die.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Trump is a loser. Tell a friend.

January 11, 2024

ROBERT B. HUBBELL

Readers frequently comment on my newsletters by writing, “You used word X; you should have used word Y.” Sometimes the comments are well-taken, but much of the time, my (silent) reaction is, “We aren’t going to change the course of history through vocabulary.” But Trump's effort to return to power may be the exception.

Trump is a loser. A spectacular one. He is the living embodiment of the punchline to the joke, “How do you make a small fortune in New York real estate?” Answer: “Start out with a large one.” His companies have been through half-a-dozen bankruptcies. The failure of his Taj Mahal Casino helped turn Atlantic City into a “ghost town.” He is such an unreliable credit risk that American banks stopped dealing with him in the 1990s.

Trump is a loser. He is the only president ever to be impeached twice. He is the only major presidential candidate to lose the popular vote twice. He is the only major presidential candidate to be indicted once—let alone four times. He is the first president in nearly a century to lose the House, the Senate, and re-election. He is the only major presidential candidate who has been adjudged (in a civil case) to have raped a woman.

Trump is a loser. When he traveled internationally as president, foreign leaders laughed at him behind his back. When he addressed the UN Assembly, world leaders laughed at him to his face. He has made some of the most ignorant comments ever by a US president, suggesting that Covid victims “inject bleach” and that they “shine a light inside their bodies.” And during an eclipse visible from Washington, D.C., Trump did the one thing that observers of eclipses are NEVER supposed to do—he removed his protective eye gear to look directly at the sun.

Despite the fact that Trump is a historic loser, he has somehow convinced tens of millions of Americans that he is “a stable genius” who would defeat a combined presidential ticket of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. We should not add to Trump's false mythology by unintentionally ascribing stature or influence he does not have.

Two days ago, readers of this newsletter posted a link in the Comment section to an article by Jason Sattler published on the Substack blog, Framelab. The article is entitled, Why Trump wants you to compare him to Hitler | Because then you’re not calling him a loser.

Sattler’s article is brilliant, and I highly recommend it. But in case you don’t get around to reading the article, the gist of Sattler’s argument is that Trump wants us to compare him to Hitler—because that comparison normalizes the notion that Trump will regain power as an autocratic strongman.

Sattler writes:

Ruth Ben-Ghiat, an expert on authoritarianism, seems to think the Hitler stuff is a trial balloon. Trump is seeking to “dehumanize immigrants now so the public will accept your repression of them when you return to office.” [T]hat thought gets us talking about exactly what Trump wants on our minds — him in power. He’s preemptively framing himself — as a strongman, an agent of revenge, and the ultimate enforcer of unsustainable hierarchies.

Sattler goes further, asserting that we are doing a favor for Trump by calling him Hitler:

When you’re calling Trump a dictator, think about what you’re not calling him. You’re not calling him a loser who never has and never will win the popular vote. A fraud. A traitor. Instead, you’re repeating his slander of immigrants and propping up his stature. You’re doing him a huge favor. Basically, we’re getting fooled again.

There is wisdom in Sattler’s analysis—to a point. We should not fall into the trap of assuming that Trump will succeed in becoming a Hitler-like dictator who will impose martial law on “day one” of his second term in office. If we do that, we make it more likely that Trump will succeed in his effort to be re-elected.

In other words, we should not grant Trump superpowers he does not possess. The man is a loser and a miserable human being who is disliked by almost everyone who has the misfortune of dealing directly with him.

But Trump is not only a small, insecure, petulant loser; he also exercises outsized influence over tens of millions of Americans. It would be foolish to stop talking about the existential danger that Trump presents to our democracy. For example, we know that Trump asked his former Secretary of Defense why federal troops couldn’t “shoot protestors” on the National Mall protesting the murder of George Floyd.

Two things are simultaneously true—and they are not in contradiction: Trump is a loser and he is a dangerous threat to our democracy. We can prevent him from becoming Hitler’s protege by reminding voters that he is a loser who has lost more than any other presidential candidate in history—and that he will lose again in 2024.

Don’t build an aura of inevitable victory around Trump. Instead, build an aura of inevitable defeat around Trump. He is a loser. He has always been a loser. And he will always be a loser.

[Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter]

[starswallowingsea]

okay i just finished sleep tight by jh markert and christ alive what the fuck was that. i gave it 1.75/5 on storygraph and 2 stars on goodreads bc like. girl.

so the first thing is like. the most minor thing i'm going to complain about but it definitely needed one last line by line edit. how did they fuck up the daughter's name at the end and call her julie instead of julia when julie hadn't been an established nickname for her. there were a bunch of other lines that just felt like they were repeating what we already knew or didn't need to be there like we didnt need a line saying "that tess already knew because noah had told them in the car" <- not exact idc enough to go back and look but we know. we were THERE you do not have to remind us that they know this information okay.

now onto the rest of the book. so the concept is that after serial killer posing as a priest to lure victims in is executed by the state, a cult that formed around him decides they're going to get revenge on the people who locked him up and ultimately revealed that they're going to revive him with the help of the real mastermind. which i thought the serial killer priest would have been cooler than it was but whatevs thats on me. howeverrrrrrrr one of the early chapters was from the pov of a gravedigger/grave security guy and he talks about the group he just joined but explicitly called it a cult which was so. the word cult is very loaded and high control groups do not like to use it for themselves because of that and they'll use something else like group or religion for their cult even if people on the outside are calling it a cult. have you ever met an mlm girly like come on.

the mystery itself was laid out decently enough with the eyes and not so subtle hints that were dropped but the worst part of this was the fucking weird ass attempt at portraying DID. I am going to give markert the benefit of the doubt that he was trying his best and anyone reading this review who has DID is free to comment on this but i am not under the impression that most people know when a new alter fronts and that voices don't really change especially around strangers. also other than oskar and ruth, all of noah's alters were real people and 5 of them were people who he watched die and he just took on their personalities in his head and they don't age because the people they were based on stopped aging (ie died). they talked about it like he just absorbed their souls into his headspace??? and yes they could tell when someone switched to front because of his voice and like. the fact that two of them wear glasses and will put them on to front. i might be wrong and again correct me if i am but this does not seem like how it works when systems meet strangers for the first time especially ones that get violent and upset when they cant get the alter they want to front to front.

sticking with the theme of weird insensitivities about trauma, why was fuckhead justin so insistent that tess needed to forceably relive her trauma (which was revealed at the end of the book and ngl kinda anticlimactic) to try and fill in gaps in her memory from when she was 13 because it made him upset? like dude she probably shouldn't be doing that if she doesn't want to its buried for a reason leave her alone!! and the fact that their relationship went back to business as usual after everything was so!!!!! i think they should have gotten divorced anyway there is no way this is going to work out long term sorry.

and finally i get that american police just shoot indiscriminately but killing benjamin in front of 11 young children seemed kinda unnecessary. especially when they were crowded around him and could easily have been caught in the crossfire but magically weren't and the bullets only hit ben. sorry but at least one of those kids should have had some sort of gun related injury from that if not more if you were going to kill ben.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Back on my Jamie Tartt bullshit

Five times Jamie asked someone about their Dad, and one time someone asked about him.

Roy

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks Roy one day after an early morning training session. Jamie is warming down and stretching. They had been talking about the upcoming Manchester City game. It was a home game for the Greyhounds and Roy had asked him if he had heard from his prick of a father. Jamie told him he hadn’t since Wembley six months prior.

Roy raises his eyebrows at him.”He’s fine.”

“He’s fine? What the fuck does that mean?” Jamie says to him thinking he shouldn’t be surprised, it is Roy after all. “You never talk about him.”

“You don’t talk about your Dad,” Roy counters.

“Yeah, but me Dad’s a dick. You already know that.”

Jamie was trying anything to get his mind off the upcoming match against Man City. The team had been playing like shit since the loss to West Ham. Even with God’s gift to those that have everything, fucking Zava, they still couldn’t buy win.

Higgins had assured Jamie (and Roy, multiple times) that James Tartt, Sr. was banned from Nelson Road but he still wasn’t relieved. The fact that his Dad hadn’t texted or called him asking for tickets had freaked Jamie out even more. He should be happy his Dad hadn’t called, but instead it just made him more weary wondering if he was about to jump out from around every corner instead.

“I don’t really know my Dad well if you have to fucking know,” Roy admits, but there’s no heat behind his words. “He was always working while I was growing up. My Mum too. Grandad was the one who picked me up from school and all that shit. Made me dinner, helped with fucking homework and put me to bed. He was more of a fucking Dad to me than my own was. Then I went to Sunderland at nine and haven’t spent much time at home since.”

Well that’s depressing Jamie thinks. He always asks people what their Dad’s are like. Jamie never knows if it’s masochistic if he wants to hear about these great Dads other people have or if he’s looking for someone to make him feel better about his own shitty Dad. Usually, whatever the answer is just makes him feel depressed in one way or another.

“But your Dad, like, came to your matches and shit?”

“Yeah, once I played at Chelsea. Bragged to all his mates when we won the Champions League in 2012, didn’t he. And when I played for England. Wouldn’t talk to me after we lost to Iceland in the Euros in 2016 for like a fucking month though.”

“To be fair, who loses to fucking Iceland? Even the Mighty Ducks beat them for Christ’s sake.”

Roy gives him a look. They had made their way through the Mighty Ducks Trilogy during a trio of away games. The team agreed D2 was the best of the series. Sometimes Jamie wishes Gordon Bombay was his Dad. He would be sick at hockey if he knew how to skate.

“He ever come to a Richmond game when we played together?” Jamie asks him.

“No, he doesn’t even live in fucking England anymore. He fucked off to Marbella after my Mum died, bought a fucking strip club.”

“A what?” Jamie asks, laughing.

“Yeah,” Roy rolls his eyes and explains. “Sold the fucking posh house I bought them like two weeks after she died and moved there. He’s only even met Phoebe a handful of fucking times. He was pissed at my sister for getting pregnant. Probably has talked to Ruth even less.”

“Your Dad sounds like a dick,” Jamie tells him.

Jamie loves Phoebe. She’s smart and funny, especially for her age. He doesn’t understand how any grandparent wouldn’t want to see her. If he ever has kids, his Mum will probably demand to move in so she can spend more time with her grandchild. Anyone who doesn’t want to spend time with Phoebe sounds like a floppy cock to Jamie.

“How come you never told me about him?”

“Cause I talk so much about my fucking feelings for people?” Roy counters which, fair enough. “Besides, you kind of cornered the market on shitty Dads.”

“I guess I just can’t help being the best at everything,” Jamie says, Prince of Pricks smile on his face, pretending like he doesn’t care about his own Dad, like he doesn’t feel bad for Roy, too. Roy knows better now. He knows Jamie always puts on a smile or a grin, makes a joke or says something cocky when talking about his Dad. But Roy knows the real Jamie, the one that cried in his arms after standing up to his father for the first time. The. Jamie who flinched at his hug because he’s used to pain rather than comfort coming from the older men in his life.

Jamie knows his Dad takes the prize for bad father of the year, but it doesn’t mean Roy deserves the Dad he had either.

Dani

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks Dani. They’re on the bus on the ride home from Rebecca’s father’s funeral. Jamie glances down at Dani’s feet, clad in Rebecca’s slippers and feels relief for his friend’s feet. He can’t wait to get home and take off his own shoes, maybe call his Mum, confess to her how he professed his love for Keeley. Try to relieve himself of some of his guilt.

“Mi Papa? Oh Jamie, he is wonderful. You would like him a lot I think.”

“That’s good muchacho,” Jamie says to him, truthfully. Dani is always so cheery, he isn’t surprised that Dani has a great Dad. No one as happy as Dani could grow up with the type of Dad that Jamie had.

“I am very happy to go home for a few weeks once the season is over,” Dani tells him.

“Oh yeah, that’s good,” Jamie adds. “You must miss them when you’re here.”

“I do, sí. But we talk on the phone each day. Papa and mi Mama are very proud. My sisters, tambien. I am very lucky.”

Jamie agrees, Dani is lucky. Clenching and unclenching his right fist unconsciously, thinking of a few weeks earlier when he saw he last saw his Dad at Wembley. Dani would never punch his Dad. He doubts the Dad that Dani described would ever do something worthy of being punched, would ever lay his hands on his own child.

“You are amigo,” Jamie tells him, happy that Dani’s has a Dad worthy of the kind and caring striker.

Sam

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks Sam when he hears that Ola is coming to visit his son in a few days.

“Oh, he is amazing,” Sam tells him, smiling.

Jamie smiles back at him. He’d always been a little jealous of the younger man’s relationship with his Dad. The Nigerian loved his father enough to name his restaurant after him, Jamie wouldn’t name an unflushed poopy after his father. Jamie witnessed numerous phone calls between Sam and his Dad. Sam is always smiling and laughing, telling him how much he loves him. Jamie can’t remember the last time he told his Dad he loved him, can’t remember the last time he would’ve meant it.

Sam’s Dad was everything Jamie wished his own Dad was. Supportive, loving, not a fucking nightmare. Sam’s Dad seemed like Jamie’s own Mum, didn’t care that their sons were Premier League stars, only cared if they were happy. Ola and Georgie would probably get along very well. Jamie feels a swell of guilt. Neither would be happy the way Jamie treated Sam two years before. Jamie has tried to make amends to his teammate, starting with the Dubai Air boycott and Jamie planned to keep making amends to his Nigerian friend.

“Oh yeah?” Jamie says back to him, not sure what else to say.

“He is very wise. Very funny. He always tells me to follow my instincts, and to trust in the universe” Sam continues. “The universe will provide, he says. Did I tell you he bought bitcoin in 2009?”

“2009, swear down? You were still in diapers then,” Jamie ribs him.

“Jamie, you are only three years older than me,” Sam tells him seriously. “But the universe told me to stay in Richmond last year, and look at us now. I know this is where I am supposed to be.”

Jamie says a silent prayer to the universe for Sam remaining in Richmond. Even Jamie Tartt can’t disagree with the universe.

A few days later, when Sam cries into his Dad’s arms in the changing room, Jamie can’t help but think of the last time someone’s Dad was in their changing room. The last time ended with Jamie’s fist connecting with his face. Everyone looks around awkwardly, the silence much the same as it was in the Wembley dressing room. Jamie feels helpless watching the scene unfold, the way his own teammates felt the year before.

Sam cries in the comfort of his Dad’s arms, while Jamie cried in Coach Kent’s arms. Sam’s Dad brings comfort, his own brings pain. Sam’s Dad brings support, his Dad gives criticism. Ola and James could not be more different. In some ways Sam and Jamie also couldn’t be more different, and each encounter is stark in their differences, but both young men are seeking comfort. Ola gives it freely, easily, while James just causes heartbreak and fear, pushing Jamie to seek comfort in others.

The next night when they’re at Ola’s helping cleaning up the mess, Jamie smiles when Sam walks in with his Dad. The big man cooks for them, appreciative of the way they care for his son while he’s so far from home. Jamie chats with them while they cook, thinking maybe he should ask Simon to teach him some of his recipes. Jamie is glad his friend has Ola for a Dad. Sam deserves a Dad like Ola.

Beard

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks Beard, watching the older man hold his baby daughter. They’re at a cookout at the Higgins house, a few weeks before the season starts. Vera, Beard’s almost year old daughter giggles in his arms as Jamie tickles her.

“Apathetic,” Beard answers. Jamie still isn’t quite sure how to talk to him but it’s gotten slightly easier. Beard is different without Ted, more his own person than an extension of Ted. Still weird as fuck but Jamie appreciates the weirdness now. He’s trying to be more curious than judgemental. Jamie understands Beard is a man who has lived many different lives. The newest one being father.

“Right okay,” Jamie says unsure, so he turns instead to Vera the pitch of his voice raising as he asks, “And what’s your Dad like?”

Vera giggles.

“Didn’t really know him,” Beard admits. “My parents divorced when I was around 2. He disappeared after that.”

I wish my Dad fucking disappeared, Jamie thinks. It would’ve made his life a lot easier. Made his Mum’s life a lot easier.

“That’s shit,” is what he says to Beard instead.

“I’ve met your Dad, Jamie,” Willis says to him. “It’s shit but better than what you had to deal with.”

“Yeah,” Jamie says, making silly faces at Vera.

“But Vera,” Beard says to his daughter in the type of voice one only talks to babies with. “Is going to be have a much better Dad, aren’t you mi lady?”

Vers giggles in agreement. Good, Jamie thinks. Vera deserves the Dad that Beard wants to be for her.

Simon

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks his step-dad. It’s Father’s Day night and he’s at home in Manchester, visiting Georgie and Simon. Mum had gone to bed early, but Jamie was too wired to sleep. He’s on the sofa when Simon came back downstairs and sat with him, silently watching television with him.

Jamie’s 19, he just left his own Father’s flat, after he passed out drunk. James had guilted Jamie into taking him to a fancy dinner, where he promptly ordered the most expensive scotch on the menu and told the kindly waiter to keep them coming. Jamie barely got him home before he passed out. Jamie snuck out while he slept and instead of going to his own flat, he just wanted to see his Mum. He hated Father’s Day, he always wants to make it a second Mum’s Day as one day is never enough.

When Jamie was younger, before his Dad started coming around, he always hated Father’s Day. They had to make cards in school and Jamie, with neither a Father, Grandad or even an Uncle to make a card for was always made fun of by the other kids when they saw his hastily made card with Happy Father’s Day Mummy scrawled across the front.

But then his Dad started to show up again, didn’t he. Expecting cards and love like he didn’t dole his own love out with insults and bruises. And it’s always been easier to do something with his prick of a Dad then deal with the consequences if he doesn’t. His money makes it easier now, Dad is happy with an expensive gift and a steak, he doesn’t have to put in the effort or the same time he did before he was being played to play football.

Jamie is a dutiful step-son though, and always wants to make his Mum happy, so he’s always gotten Simon a Father’s Day gift but he was saved from having to spend the day with him as Simon goes to see his own Dad. Not that his own Dad would’ve allowed it.

“He’s a lot like me, I guess,” Simon tells him. Jamie’s met the man a couple times, and saw him at the wedding, but he doesn’t think he’s really talked to the man. “At least that’s what my Mum used to say. Two peas in a pod.”

“Was he a teacher too?” Jamie asks.

“He was a principal,” Simon tells him. “Even was my principal when I was in primary school.”

“That must’ve been tough,” Jamie says, he can’t imagine being around his Dad every day in school.

“Oh not really,” Simon tells him. “We walked to school together everyday, it was nice.”

It strikes Jamie how different he is from Simon, their upbringings, their interests, all they have in common sometimes he thinks is loving his Mum.

“I’d go mad if I had to see my Dad fucking everyday,” Jamie tells him, internally wincing at the f word. Simon never chastises him for swearing but Jamie knows he doesn’t like it.

“Your Dad is a different sort, Jamie. I’m lucky to have a Dad like mine. Yours is lucky to have a son like you,” Simon says to him, smiling sadly. “I’m lucky to have a son like you.”

Son, Jamie thinks bitterly. Wants to spit back he’s not his son but holds his tongue. What would he be like if Simon had been his Dad and not his prick of a father? Or married his Mum when he was 6 and not 16. Jamie probably wouldn’t be nearly as good at footie, but would he be happier? Simon’s been his step-dad for a few years but Jamie’s never thought of the man as a father, or even in a father role. Simon is perfectly nice, perfectly fine. He makes his Mum happy so that’s good. But he’s kind of just there. Jamie hasn’t thought of Simon as more than his mother’s husband.

But Simon just called him son. Simon who always cooks for him when he’s home and tries his best to make whatever fits in his nutrition plan or whatever Jamie requests of him. The same Simon who asks him about all his football matches even though he knows he doesn’t like or understand the game. Simon who does his laundry when he’s home and drives Mum to any matches she wants to go to. Usually ones they know his Dad won’t be at.

Simon, who the few times they’ve been in the same room just took James’ insults rather than say something back and make a scene. At the time Jamie thought him a pussy for not responding in kind to his father. Now Jamie thinks that’s his father’s voice saying it in his head rather than his own. It made his Dad so angry when Simon ignored him, something Jamie now understands is a choice, a message, even more so than any retort back to James would be.

“I guess,” Jamie says to him, shrugging, wondering why he’s never really let Simon in. He wonders if he has the father he deserves after all.

+1

Jamie looks down at the newborn baby in his arms, David George Tartt, and can’t keep the smile from his lips.

His son starts to fuss a little, Jamie rocks him back and forth, softly singing “Baby Tartt, do do do do do do, Baby Tartt do do do do do do, Baby Tartt, do do do do do do, Baby Tartt.”

The baby settles quickly and Jamie whispers to him, “You remember your Dad singing that while in your Mummy’s tummy then yeah Little Davey?”

“I can’t believe he’s finally here,” his wife says to him, an exhausted smile on her face while looking at the picture perfect image of her husband and their son.

“He’s perfect,” Jamie says to her, not taking his eyes off his baby boy.

“Of course he is,” she laughs. “He looks just like the pictures Georgie showed me of you as a baby.”

His Mum is going to lose it at the sight of her sexy little baby holding his own sexy little baby. Georgie and Simon are on their way, probably breaking all sorts of traffic laws. Jamie can’t wait for his son to meet his Gigi and Grandpa.

“You think so?” Jamie asks her. The swell of brown hair and grey eyes certainly favour him.

“I do,” his wife says. “And I already know he takes after you if all the kicking he did to my insides is any indication.”

Jamie turns to smile at his wife, a new level of love for her building that he didn’t think was possible. He had no idea what childbirth was going to be like, but watching his wife through hours of labor, he has a new respect for mother’s everywhere, and in particular his wife and his own. Jamie walks over to sit on the edge of the bed next to her.

His wife wraps her arm around her boys, laying her head on Jamie’s shoulder.

“Little Davey is so lucky to have you for a Dad,” she tells Jamie. “And I’m lucky to have this DILF for a husband.”

She kisses him on the cheek, then turns to place a hand on her son’s tiny chest, feeling the steady rise and fall as she gazes at his perfect little face. “And how do you like your Dad, little man? You are a very lucky little boy. Your Dad is the best man I know. He’s funny, and sweet, he’s loyal, and giving, and he’s going to be the very best Dad. Already is.”

Jamie would be lying if he said he hadn’t freaked out numerous times during the pregnancy. His own father had been absent, at best, and abusive, at worst. He knew from stories that James Tartt, Sr.’s own Dad had been similar. But everyone in his life, including his Mum, his wife, Roy, Simon, Doctor Sharon, even Ted, had assured him that he could break the cycle. And if Jamie was certain of one thing, it’s that he would. Jamie Tartt is going to be the father that his son deserves.

[phantarein]

Prophetic Lies ch.1

A silly little work in progress of an OC story :)

Story below!

Ever since Ark was born, he was promised a bright future.

“You shall defeat great Evil, and become King of Aetheria,” The Great Prophet told him.

The current King, his father, was pleased with this news, so he favored him over his other children.

He had seven siblings, yet none of them were fond of him. He was completely alone for most of his youth, having only maids to talk to and the daily meals with his father.

As Ark grew older, the weight of his destiny pressed down on him more heavily with each passing day. The prophets didn’t specify any kind of date, so he could only live in the fear he would never meet everyone’s expectations. Because of this, he spent his entire time training his swordsmanship and learning how to be a good King, meanwhile, his siblings enjoyed the riches of life, being able to do whatever they pleased.

They may be jealous of his destiny, but all Ark wanted was a normal life. No kings, no isolation, no destiny.

Ark longed for a genuine connection and companionship. But the prophecy loomed over him like a shadow, reminding him of the solitude that accompanied his predetermined path. That was until the day came.

It was a normal day, he was speaking to his father over lunch when suddenly a guard came interrupting their meal.

The guard, out of breath exclaimed: “It’s here! It’s free! It escaped, it’s free!”

His father got up from his seat. “Is it- is it the prophecy?” He said with glee.

The prophecy.

This could only mean that his time has come, his time to save the whole Kingdom from certain doom, seal the great Evil in the Tower of Babel, and become King. It was time.

Adrenaline rushes to his veins, being unable to concentrate on what his father and the guard are saying. He hadn’t seen his Father as happy as he was right now, he didn’t care about how many people suffer, he just wanted Ark to become powerful and make the Kingdom even richer.

Ark holds back tears, making sure to not show any fear.

“Where is it? The great Evil.” He asked with a strong voice.

“It appeared at the south of Sanduria, in a small Leporian village.” The guard replies. “It would take two months to get there.”

“By that point, the great Evil may be already coming our way… So it might take less time than anticipated.” His father exclaimed. “Oh my son, you will make me proud.” He puts a hand on his shoulder, Ark suppresses a flinch. “Go get prepared, you’re leaving tonight, you have a legend to make.”

-

Everyone in the castle was moving, it felt suffocating. So as the maids prepared all the necessities he’d need for the week, he went to the gardens, sitting in silence. The prophecy foretold that when he went into this adventure, he’d go through countless hardships, but eventually would win against evil and seal it forever. He’d marry and have kids… He’d be a gentle, but fierce king.

He didn’t want that at all, but he knew it was his destiny. 

He senses that someone is coming near him, so he turns around and sees his youngest sister.

“Ruth, what are you doing here? Don’t you have lessons to take care of?” He wasn’t close to any of his siblings, but he had a soft spot for Ruth, since she never antagonized him, instead always being quiet and looking at him from afar.

“Lord Ark… I- I-” She trembled, holding something in her hands. “I have a gift for you.” She extends the gift towards him and leaves running. Confused, he looks at the gift. It was a book, not one he was familiar with. Although, he wasn’t much of a reader, much less a mage. What was the purpose of this gift? Hoping it wasn’t cursed, he opens it.

“Hm…?” It wasn’t a spell book or anything like that, it was a herb atlas, explaining what each wild herb and flower did, which berries were poisonous, and also had some facts about certain animals. This was some sort of encyclopedia, then? Despite his arduous training to become a hero, he had never been taught about survival. He had never seen anything like this, and it was completely hand-written and with drawn illustrations. His sister had done this?

“Ruth… You have a good future ahead of you.” He was content, knowing at least someone in the world cared about him enough.

“May the Goddess bless you!” All the knights shouted in formation, today was the day he was leaving. He had everything he could wish for inside the carriage that was waiting for him. He was standing beside his father, with a magic backpack, a royal cloak, a steel sword, and finally… the encyclopedia, which he left close to him.

“Today marks the day that the future Hero, Ark of Aetheria, will embark on his journey and defeat evil for good! All praise the future King!” His father shouts.

“All hail Ark! All hail Ark!” He listens to the people chant in unison, and with a heavy heart he takes his first steps. He notices Ruth in public, looking at the book on his hip happily. He smiles at her, making her avert her eyes.

As he enters the carriage, he can’t help but be uneasy. It was his duty to defeat evil, it was his duty to save everyone. But he didn’t feel ready, he wasn’t even a hundred years old yet! Just thinking about going on his first adventure outside the Kingdom made his stomach churn.

He takes a deep breath as the carriage starts, and thinks about the plan of action his father had defined.

First, he had to go to the Tree of Life to get the Sword of Light, the tree was in the center of the world, it wasn’t that far away from the Kingdom, but they had to pass through the Ssavah forest first, where there were many dangerous creatures. Then, he’d have to find the prophet who he would marry in the future, and finally, he would need to visit every kingdom to get rid of the corruption of the great evil, until he could destroy it once and for all on the Tower of Babel.

[xxmyhomexx]

ASTREA'S BROKEN HEART: INTIMACY PART TWO

I'm playing two routes, Mikael on one slot and Malek on another, but after reading this update, it gave me more ideas about their romance.

RAPHAEL

Audrey would start to feel more comfortable around him, and they's grow as close as they were before. It'd be after she found out Raphael erased her memory to spare her the trauma of the cult and her rescue.

However, Audrey wouldn't be angry at him and she'd forgive him because she'd know he was trying to help her. Instead, she'd ask if she could see his wings.

Raphael would be hesitant at first, but after a minute, he'd transform into the angel who rescued her from the church. It'd take her a moment to compose herself, but she wouldn't be scared of him. He'd take her away from Astrea for a night alone, and they'd end up in the woods next to a river.

Raphael would watch as Audrey bathes in the water, and she'd beckon him to join her. At first, he'd be afraid to scare her away, but Audrey would reassure him that she'd never leave him. Raphael would step in with her with his wings spread out, and they'd spent an intimate evening in the water.

MIKAEL

My poor man! If anything, he'd be the one to get the closest to Audrey after her traumatic experience at the church.

He'd learn to be more vulnerable before her, but it'd be hard for him because of his position at Astrea. In fact, when they'd share their first kiss, he'd apologize and leave her confused and upset.

Over time, though, Audrey would challenge those boundaries. She'd go into his office one night while he's in there doing late night work.

Mikael would be surprised when she'd lock the door, telling him that no one's going to interrupt them tonight. To add to the amusement, she'd sit right on his lap, causing him to freeze up.

Audrey would ask him why he's doing this to himself and it's ok to give into his feelings. They'd kiss again, and Mikael would not pull away. Looking around, Audrey bites her lip and makes a comment that his office is very clean, remarking it'd be a shame if it were messy. The desk has no papers on it, fortunate for her as she lays right down on it.

Mikael is amused, and they spend an evening exploring each other's desires.

MALEK

I don't know what's going to happen with him, but I'm sure he'd hear of Audrey's attack. He'd get back in touch with her, and they'd talk about what had happened with Ruth.

Audrey can't understand why Ruth would do something like this, and Malek tells her the humand mind is a complex case. She knows he is right, and she asks him what she can do to help with her trauma.

They spend time together and he offers to take her back to his place. He confesses that she's a fascinating case for him and he has much planned for her.

Audrey is intimidated but controversial personalities don't scare her. He offers to "study" her, telling her he can learn a lot about a person by their body reactions.

Audrey surrenders to his control. He gets a glass of whiskey and ice cubes, requesting she lay down on the coffee table. When she does, let's just say Malek doesn't drink from the shotglass.

And that is all I have because I'm not romancing anyone else.

[characteroulette]

A study on prosecutors -- (previous) (next)

Simon Blackquill, the Twisted Samurai.

Simon was actually a bit of a hard sell for me, much like his contemporary. I'm not really into Dual Destinies or Spirit of Justice (and therefore I'm not able to remember all the details as well as I can the other games oop so sorry if I get some things wrong here), but there are things I enjoy about them. One of those things ended up being the prosecutors!

It's thematically appropriate with the whole "dark age of the law" setup. A prosecutor who's on death row is allowed to take on trials to help with the workload the prosecution's office is dealing with. (Don't mind the fact that there's enough wiggle room for Klavier to go out for an event.) We hear from Fulbright about this prosecutor and Athena seems to recognise him. The absurd of why are they letting an inmate have any legal sway whatsoever doesn't matter so much. This is the dark age of the law.

Then we meet him and he's appropriately a grumpy jerk.

We're not given the details of his crime really, just whatever we can glean from the animated cutscenes. (It involved blood and a sword.) But Blackquill's mannerisms are harsh and unforgiving. He's a psychological suggester, able to run circles around the judge and drag us along for the ride by the ear. I think this part of his schtick is kind of annoying to deal with, mainly because of how obvious it is that he's messing with all of us, but it definitely does make for a fun character. He really showcases how easy it is to become intimidating in this world of dumbasses when you're able to keep even a single braincell advantage. (The less forgivable act, to me, was his shutting Apollo down at every turn. He is so mean to Apollo! It's not like Apollo can help that his eyes are magically tuned to other people's body language, and yet Blackquill calls it cheating and cuts him down for it. Then he allows Athena to do her mood matrix things with very little argument! This was a huge jarring point for me for a long time and part of the reason why it took me so long to actually finish this game.)

The setup is there: something about this guy is performative, is softer when handling Athena. Yet he masks it all very well with his abrasive attitude and trickery. He forces us into a corner, forces the hand of our client, and we have to head back out into the investigation.

It's easy to explain away most of his attitude, in actuality. He's been in prison for seven years. He mentions constantly the different mates he's met in the clink. Fulbright may act like his only friend and supporter, but there's too large a gap between them considering Fulbright holds too much authority over him.

Blackquill has become unsociable from his time in the clink. His refusal to admit to the truth has him leaning into his belligerence, has him constantly acting the part of the bad guy. (When did it start to become a part of who he is? Perhaps he's always been a little twisted. It never rings false to anyone besides Athena, after all.)

His situation is intriguing and so we're hooked into wanting to know what the hell happened to make him like this.

Also, I gotta give a special mention to his talking sprites. All of them are really good, from him slamming the desk as he laughs (which is just how I see him in my head by this point) to his eye flashing as he glares down at you. He plays with a lot of the usual conventions, too, turning his back towards you and never actually having a full point. I may not like how his objection sounds (and this is a me problem, I only like about 20% of the actual objections in this series whoops), but his "Silence!" is pitch perfect. That really conveys more of his character than anything else, devs and his va did a damn good job with that one.

Anyway, second day of the trial. It's actually pretty fun to see Blackquill on the ropes, having him act as if we're the ones cutting him down instead of the other way around. He's just as annoyingly ruthless here, but it's easier to deal with when we can actually gain some ground on him. For all his posturing and intimidation tactics, he can't keep up the act while we're shutting him down.

Once we pull off our victory for our client, he's back to being a cool customer. He's a pretty graceful loser compared to so many other prosecutors we've seen. Compared to Gaspen, even. There's still a lot we don't really know about him and his situation, but he's made his character loud and clear for us to see. For that, I gotta say it's understandable if you started liking him by this point.

Case 3 is kind of a mess during the trial segments due to everyone trying to confess to the murder. Blackquill may be facilitating a bunch of this nonsense, but he's as along for the ride as we are. That makes things more fun and tolerable than it could have been, so hey.

It also showcases his softer approach with Athena; again, the hints are being put down. You can't quite pick them up yet because you don't have the full context, but you can notice Athena mention that she's fighting so hard in order to save someone not our client. (And Blackquill even addressed her as directly about it as he can, saying that she should know it's useless trying to reach him.) When Means puts Athena out of commission for a minute, Blackquill doesn't mock her or even take advantage of the situation. He doesn't help, either, he can't do that without giving away the whole game, but he allows her the time to come back. That's probably the biggest hint we get as to who these two are to each other and it's a subtle thing, too.

His dynamic with Athena is probably the most enjoyable, also. She's a real spitfire in court, owing to her youth and her energetic nature, while he's a steel wall with trickster energy. They work surprisingly well off one another, trading jabs and him always seeming to be a step ahead but never fully leaving her in the dust. He recognises her inexperience and she recognises his humanity; neither want to hold back against the other and yet their blows aren't as harsh as they could be.

He was, after all, made to be her opponent on some level. Seeing their dynamic work so well off one another, it's easy to stop finding him aggravating and start finding him endearing. A rough around the edges older brother type rather than a hardened criminal trickster type. (Though he is very much still both.)

An aside on the DLC case, I think it's very funny how Blackquill was the only prosecutor willing to try this case against an orca. Sure, he saw the underlying actual murder mystery beneath it all, but it's so easy to imagine him being presented this case, laughing his ass off, then agreeing to prosecute it. This man's as insane as Phoenix!! And that goes a hell of a long way to endearing him to us. To me, specifically. His mannerism against Phoenix is kinda not fun, considering Phoenix is hardly ever fun in this game, but it's such a wacky little character detail about him that I just adore. His devil may care attitude may come from a dark place, but it lends itself to such a fun time.

Of course, we then reach the fourth case and even more mysteries are thrown in our face.

For one, Blackquill is just as on edge and vicious concerning this case. We understand some of Apollo's beef, he knew the victim and is emotionally invested in his client, but Blackquill being just as invested is definitely strange. It definitely raises some alarm bells to keep in mind, right up until the courtroom is blown up and we're forced into a time skip.

Meeting Blackquill's older sister adds another piece to the puzzle. She's really nasty especially to Athena and you make a note of it, but still can't quite make out the whole picture. It's an easy detail to overlook, even, if you aren't really paying attention to the names, since there isn't a big fuss made over her being his older sister. It connects him to this space station, but not in a way that matters. Not yet.

Another piece is Fulbright's odd behaviour. They really have to work hard to start building enough clues for Fulbright's turn to make sense, but the important thing for us concerning Blackquill is that he seems more worried about Blackquill's rehabilitation than before. Fulbright himself is struggling in what he should reveal to us, where his sense of justice lies, and Phoenix presses him to share enough with us for the next day of the trial.

Of course, Blackquill continues the trial with his added fervour. It really feels he has more of the pieces to this puzzle than we do at this point, but we at least manage to hold our own until Fulbright returns with the decisive evidence to prove Starbuck's innocence. The problem then is that it implicates Athena.

And Blackquill goes into absolute panic mode.

This is what he's been trying to prevent! He can't have Athena accused of another crime, he can't defend her this time like how he did before. He's doing his best to hold his uncaring demeanour together, but he's slipped too much for it to be convincing. He's run out of time and his sister refuses to accept that.

This leads us into the final case and our impromptu trial to figure out just what exactly happened for Blackquill to land himself on death row.

How Blackquill guards himself while absolutely falling apart here is so heartbreaking. He's doing his best to protect Athena, to save the girl who's his mentor's precious treasure, and him and Athena going back and forth on whether or not the whole truth is worth exposing, no matter how painful it is, is excellent. I really feel Blackquill's desperation here, aided by one of the sickest Mood Matrix segments ever. Learning that Edgeworth asked Phoenix specifically to become a lawyer again to help Blackquill, having Edgeworth act as prosecutor on this trial, everything about this is so good. All of it really lends to showing us the player why we should care about Blackquill. It definitely got me good.

Only once we prove Blackquill and Athena both innocent does that weathered shield finally fall. Blackquill gets to show off a bit of his less guarded self, gets to have some fun as we leap into the next segment of the trial. He gets to finally, finally dig up the truth behind that terrible lie he's been keeping for the past seven years and confront this Phantom himself. If the Phantom reveal wasn't so slapdash, this entire segment would be a lot more powerful, I think.

All of it, though, is in service of the straight up satisfaction we get when seeing Blackquill at the end, able to live his life again. Seeing how he actually calls on Athena's help in the next game, then hops onto the bench with her to help her out is so good, there's so much growth that happened there. He's still his smarmy trickster self, but he's willing to show a bit of his caring older brother side! I love seeing it.

Anyway yeah hopefully this conveys how much I love Blackquill, wish he had that little extra oomph to his narrative to make him truly great.