#GAYS I THINK THIS TIMELINE IS NOT AS DARK AND SCARY AS WE THINK

[apolaskiart]

WE DID IT JAYVIK NATION!!!! WE FINALLY GOT A WIN TO CELEBRATE!!!!

[cosmicbrowniefan]

let’s talk about st4.

warning: spoilers ahead for st4. do not read if you haven’t watched.

content: theories for st4 v2 and analysis of st4 v1.

el is not the key to destroying to upside-down. 

will is.

i know that might sound a bit insane, but just hear me out.

let’s make a list of what we know at the end of volume one.

el opened the original gate to the upside-down by basically forcing one through it.

one is vecna and victor creel’s son.

time is frozen, or at least the wheeler’s house is, on the day that will went missing.

okay, now let’s talk about my theories.

el didn’t create the upside-down. she opened the gate to the upside-down, BUT the upside-down wasn’t formed yet. it was a blank slate.

when el opened the gate, one was forced through. let’s talk about the timeline here. 

wouldn’t it make sense for will to be forced through to the upside-down at this exact moment?

think about it. el escaped and found the boys within the next few days. will was gone at that point. it makes sense for the moment that el opened the gate to be the exact moment that will was forced through. but why will?

because. will is like one.

will is different from everyone else, just like one was as a child. will found a comfort in fantasy with d&d, and one found comfort in dark magic and spiders and things like that.

will and one are two sides of the same coin. one is what happens when you embrace the darkness, but will is what happens when you embrace the light.

but anyway.

let’s talk about the content of the upside-down.

the upside-down IS hawkins. its main content is d&d characters, victor creel’s house, and the dark creatures that aren’t related to d&d.

if we suppose that will and one were forced through at the same time, and that it was basically a blank slate when it was opened, it makes sense as to why this is the content. el doesn’t know anything about victor or d&d. she was just the guardian of the gate.

the upside-down was created as a perfect combination of will and one’s brains. one’s childhood home, the clock, the dark creatures, and the spiders are all a manifestation of his darkness. not to mention, one himself basically becomes a spider in a web as he becomes vecna. the d&d characters, hawkins, and the childhood homes of will’s friends are a manifestation of his light. not to mention, will uses the lights to communicate.

will doesn’t realize the power he has OR the fact that the upside-down is basically a manifestation of himself. i think the upside-down could have been a safe spot for will, hence the presence of castle byers and things like that, but it’s not. and that’s because one was shoved through at the same time will was. and one is predominantly bad, while will is predominantly good.

another reason the upside-down is so dark and scary and unknown? will is going through a dark and scary and unknown time in his life. he’s growing up, hitting puberty, he’s gay, and his dad left. it’s a lot of confusion for a kid.

now let’s talk about the rulers of the upside-down.

there’s been a lot of confusion on the presence of the mind flayer this season. if he’s the overlord, why is he suddenly gone?

easy answer there: will is the mind flayer.

again, i know, but hear me out.

the demogorgons were the soldiers. vecna was the general. if one was shoved through at the same time as will, wouldn’t it make sense that will is basically the overlord?

don’t get me wrong. el has power. but she truly is just the guardian. will is the ruler. and here’s what i think about el: she is the parallel of one. she’s the other general. she’s the general that’s on the light side of the upside-down, rather than the dark side, like one.

totally makes sense as to why the mind flayer isn’t there, right? will’s not in hawkins. he’s in california. mark my words, the second he crosses state lines, the mind flayer WILL be back.

another question is why on earth wasn’t vecna in the other seasons if he was in the upside-down?

because will was there. vecna only came out to attack when the mind flayer was gone. vecna was second-in-command and coming for the others, especially el, his biggest threat.

think about it. it makes sense. will isn’t there, neither is the mind flayer. when the mind flayer IS there, no vecna.

so yes. i have a lot of theories. i have a lot more than i’ve even listed. but they can be summed up in the following: 

el opened the upside-down as a blank slate. one and will were shoved through at the exact same time, which is why the content of the upside-down is a combination of one’s darkness and will’s light. the idea of light follows will around throughout the series, to highlight this. will is the overlord and mind flayer, even though he doesn’t know it. el and one are the generals. and the demogorgons are the soldiers. everyone thinks el is the answer, but she’s not.

will is going to end this. trust me.

[polaroidreflections]

Why there needs to be After the Storm

I want to write a post everyone can reference when people say, “Max and Chloe’s story is over’ and send them this post’s way.

Exploring the trauma Max and Chloe have After the Storm would be such a unique and emotionally charged story, exploring their trauma and their love for each other would be such an intense experience.

How do Max and Chloe cope in the aftermath of the storm? There are so many questions. Max’s storm killed hundreds, thousands, and Chloe knows her life was saved in exchange for theirs. How are they coping mentally?

There wasn’t a lot of time for processing with the first game taking place in a little less than a week. Max gained super powers, watched Chloe die numerous times, found Rachel’s body with Chloe, was kidnapped and drugged by her teacher and violated, and ultimately her storm caused hundreds of lives to be lost. It all happened so fast she didn’t get a lot of time to process. Neither did Chloe - from finding Rachel’s body to storm itself, which leads to her mom’s death and so many others.

In the aftermath, where the processing can start, how are they coping? What does PTSD look like with someone who has powers like Max? What happens if Max has a flashback and thinks she or Chloe is in danger, and uses her powers? Think Logan when Xavier lost control of his powers. What do you all think happens if Max does?? 

Are they having nightmares? What do Max’s nightmares look like? What do Chloe’s? So many scary nightmares sequences to play out… Does Max, having seen Chloe die so many times, relive her death in nightmares and wake up panicking, thinking she’s dead? Is she waking up from nightmares of victims of the storm, people she feels she killed? Is she dreaming of the Dark Room? How has the experience of her kidnapping affected her? Has Joyce and Rachel joined William in Chloe’s nightmares?

The game would be perfect letting you play as Max and Chloe in different moments, bringing the heart of Life is Strange one and even bringing Rachel back and other important characters through dream sequences (Imagine Max having dreams with Warren and Kate too) or flickers of other realities. Imagine using her rewind power in the midst of a panic attack or dream sequence, it could be so emotional and intense.

How do they support each other Max and Chloe? How does their love deepen? How are they each other’s strength? They don’t just ride off out of Arcadia Bay to have a perfect life. They leave Arcadia filled with so much trauma. 

We know they become wanderers, moving from place to place. Is that just because they love a life of adventure, but also because the trauma leaves them on the move, because they can’t live a normal life after what they’ve been through? We learn in Lis2 they’ve never been back to Arcadia. To painful for them, but would they ever return? To face it?

I know people often say their story is over. There doesn’t need to be another game with them. But I think there is still one more story to tell. Before the Storm, Life is Strange, and now After the Storm. Max and Chloe still have one more journey to share with us that could be one of the most emotional games. The exploration of trauma and love. I want to see the moment Chloe covered her tattoo, I want to see the pain that brought her there, I want to see how Max and Chloe’s love continues to deepen and the way they take care of each other in the midst of something no one in the universe has experienced but them because this is something the games have never explored - the aftermath of powers causing the death of hundreds for the one you love. I’ve never read or watched a story like this and it would be amazing to see this.

I want to cry and sob and laugh and have another gay girl story that we all need. I want Max and Chloe’s story to be a trilogy. It would be perfect, and so fitting. Before and After the Storm…

Now one big argument I see a lot is “But I made the BAY choice so…” But given Life is Strange has alternate timelines, a game focusing on this timeline wouldn’t erase anyone’s canon anymore than the Lis2 photo of Max and Chloe did. Like the comics explained Max saving Chloe is just one outcome in a sea of timelines.

And it’s the the best ending for a new story, as a game that tried to focus equally on both endings would mean Chloe would not be able to actually be a part of the story, but just a very small moment or two (if the game for example was set up so either Chloe is alive or dead for example depending on your choice, this would result in Life is Strange losing it’s heart as Chloe could not be very heavily involved, we know from previous games your choices from previous games only have a MINOR role) The bae ending would make for the most emotionally impactful story focusing on the heart of Life is Strange 1 Max and Chloe.

I do want to add let me make it clear I DO OF COURSE want more new games with new characters. I am not saying I want every game to be about Max and Chloe. I just one their games to be a trilogy, and this is me explaining why. And I wanted to write this post to direct to all the ‘their story is over’ comments and all the ‘but I made the Bay choice SOOOO’ comments. This could be one of the most emotional intimate stories between Max and Chloe ever and I want it so bad.

[rpmemestorehouse]

2010′s Internet Memes Starters

Change wording as needed

“Are you frustrated?”

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[wings-of-a-storm]

I have a question. My favorite character is obviously Benji, but this season I started to get an ultimate rancidity of him.In the end I understood why he was acting like this, he has a PTSD because of dating Derek, his parents shitting him and alcohol and the accident. It's about the accident I wanted to know about, I didn't quite understand what this accident was and why he started drinking. I get upset that Benji's story is the least explored in the series, in my opinion, it should be explored more

Sorry for late reply to this, Anon! I know a few others already replied to this but I figure I’d still add my take into the mix for you. :)

I think many of us share your frustrations about Benji’s story being drip fed to us instead of being looked at more deeply. It’s a very interesting history so I really hope that in season three we might actually get a more decent look at it…

BENJI’S HISTORY / WHY HE STARTED DRINKING:

Throughout both seasons we learn that Benji has struggled with mental health.

In the most simplest of summaries: Benji struggled with internalised homophobia -- he hated himself for being homosexual and fought against it. He even experimented sexually with girls (which he briefly mentioned in S1), but in the end, he couldn’t deny that he was gay. But acknowledging he was gay and being able to accept it are two different things. He hated being gay.

In order to cope with that self-hatred and fear, he turned to alcohol to dull his reality and in turn everything he felt. He’s still learning to like himself even now in season two.

In Benji’s own words: “Before I came out, I was kind of a mess. I knew I was gay but I didn't want to be. So I drank. A lot. (1x07)” And: “Coming out was really hard for me, Victor. And it is still hard for me to be who I am. (1x05)”

BENJI’S CAR ACCIDENT:

Benji said that when he was younger, he drank 'a lot'. From that statement alone we can infer that he knew he was drinking more than his peers were. Most likely that went beyond social drinking -- he was probably also drinking by himself at any opportunity.

There is an age limit for drinking for good reason: our brains don’t fully develop until we are in our twenties, and as such, when we are younger we are more likely to make riskier choices. Adding alcohol into the mix is just asking for trouble -- as Benji found out when, one night, severely inebriated, he lost control of his vehicle (or misjudged his surroundings) and drove through/into a building. “One night I got super wasted and decided that I wanted Wendys real bad. So I took my Dad's car to the drive thru and that's exactly what I did -- drove through the Wendys. (1x07)”

That is some serious stuff right there! On so many levels!

Firstly the physical toll: he ‘totalled’ his dad’s car. To have a car written off as too smashed to be driven, that car had a huge impact! And not surprising since Benji said he drove through the building. Whether that was through glass or a into a sturdy wall, to crunch up the metal of his car, that is a massive hit. We don’t know the extent of his injuries (he just said he was ‘banged up’) but we do know that he was at the very least knocked unconscious and/or had a head injury from it (“Waking up in the hospital with my parents standing over me…” 1x07).

Secondly, the emotional toll: when Benji gained consciousness and woke up in hospital, he said he “realised that I could have died." (1x07) That is a very frightening thing to confront -- your mortality. It spooked him enough that it was the catalyst for his Coming Out. He didn’t want to die without “ever really being who I was” (1x07); to have only lived his life as a lie and not known his true self…

Most of us, I’d wager, haven’t had to confront our mortality at such a young age -- like truly confront it after going through a life-threatening experience. In that sense, he is on a different level to his peers and Victor -- a big part of his innocence has been broken and re-formed.

There is more to the emotional toll though -- not explicitly mentioned in canon but pretty much common sense:

The pain of recovery in hospital and at home (whatever “banged up” means, he was injured in some way)

The guilt of knowing his actions could have caused innocent people to have been hurt or killed. No one was hurt, he said, but just knowing they could have been is a really heavy thing to have on your conscience.

The stress of dealing with insurance (for the Wendys, for the car). He would have had to burden his parents with sorting that all out.

Police would have been involved to investigate the incident and lay charges. That’s pretty darn scary.

Losing his licence and thus part of his independence

Seeing the physical damage of the Wendys if he ever went past it again -- knowing he had done it, knowing he had been in the car that made that damage and reliving the knowledge he could have killed himself…

He was so ashamed by it all, he didn’t want anyone at school knowing about the accident or about his drinking that caused it. In 1x07 the school still didn’t know so he really guarded that secret hard.

There’s just so much heaviness linked to that accident. And Benji has only had one year to process all of that. On some level, that stuff has got to linger.

THE INITIAL AFTERMATH:

We learn that after the car accident, Benji was in an ever worse state of mind than when he was drinking his life away before it. His mother reveals: “After your car accident last year you were so hard on yourself and things were pretty dark for a while there. And you decided to put in the hard work [to go to AA and get better]. (2x07)”

Referring to Benji's post-accident self as being in 'a pretty dark place' is a pretty big alarm bell. His mental health sounds like it was pretty much destroyed. It is so hard to rebuild yourself after falling into such a dark well, but over the year he must have pulled himself back from the brink. That is so, so heavy!

It’s hard to gauge whether Benji chose to go to AA himself (which seems to be implied), or whether it was a condition of his charge through the police, but he went there none-the-less to change his life and learn healthier coping mechanisms to handle stress/his inner conflicts.

Something else worth noting is that, timeline-wise (as messy as that always is in LV), Benji was dating Derek through all of this. His one year anniversary with Derek was in S1 but his one year sobriety was only in S2. Who knows how that would have complicated things. He wasn’t Out to his parents or anyone but he was dating a (adult) man. So he was simultaneously hating that he was gay and drinking his mind blank but still dating a man. That is a super stressful and conflicting dichotomy that he was dealing with in amongst all this… (“It is still hard for me to be who I am.” 1x05)

THE MOST IMPORTANT INSIGHT FROM BENJI’S DRINKING AND AA:

It is so important to take time and realise what being in AA means about Benji: as a young teen, Benji self-medicated his way through his worsening mental health by drinking to handle stress and internalised homophobia. He didn’t have any proper methods of handling stressful situations. He is now having to unlearn those behaviours and learn new strategies through AA and his sponsor. But he has only been doing that for one year! That is a blip of time in the hourglass.

Now let’s look at the events of S2: Benji has been inundated with stress while still learning how to cope with it without drinking. And he’s had to learn and practise these new coping strategies while:

Being in high school

Holding down an assistant manager job

Watching his significant other being emotionally wrung out by his mother’s treatment of him; dealing with his own rejection and banishment from Isabel

Reliving both his own coming out stress and homophobic aggressions at school directed this time at his significant other

Trying to deal with the shame of being in AA and keeping that a secret from all of his peers at school

Like far out, that is a ton of stress! Anyone would crack under all of that, let alone a young and recovering alcoholic!

So yes, when faced with stressful situations, Benji is not always going to react in the right way or say the right things. He’s still learning how to do that with his sponsor and AA meetings. He might come off as ‘rancid’ in S2, but really he is just a kid who is struggling and trying to do his best.

[nikkiwriteswords]

Hi there, I just discovered your amazing metas! I’m curious now, since you mentioned previously that you think Klaus will eventually have to let Dave go, do you still think that after what we saw in season 2? And do you have any thoughts about Klaus and Dave’s possible story in season 3? (Since your season 2 prediction was scary accurate!!!)

Hi! It’s so nice of you to drop by 🥰 Thank you for the kind words! For reference, I think you’re mainly referring to this post  [x], is that right? Rereading it now, it does seem uncannily accurate, even to me 😂 The benefits of being vague.  I have to admit, I wasn’t as into season 2 of TUA as I was season 1. So that, combined perhaps with pandemic fatigue (for which this blog has been suffering greatly, I admit), means I haven’t got nearly as many headcanons or metas as I did for our favourite disaster fam the first time around.  Reflecting on my own words in the linked post, though, I can say this:

Whilst I would love to see Dave fleshed out more as a character, I don’t know what merit that would have for Klaus’s own development as things stand at the end of season 1.  

I was really pleased with the turn of events in Klaus and Dave’s storyline. I had not considered the age difference between Klaus and Dave, should the fam land - as they did - in the 1960s. That age difference, however, forced a new dynamic to emerge between Klaus and young Dave. It was not one of romance and shared experience, but almost one of mentor and mentee. This is actually something your comment made me realise! 

Klaus is very much the older, queer mentor in this dynamic. We could speculate that he awakened in Dave this hope that his own queer identity could be seen and validated. In turn, Klaus himself unwittingly takes on this mentor role that 1) parallels and highlights the satire of his messiah image throughout the season, and 2) places him in a position of authority akin to the one Reginald held over him as a child - he can make or break Dave in this moment, as I try to explain in the post you reblogged. 

However, to return to your question, I still think that Klaus will have to let Dave go. Crucially, though, that’s not to say that we won’t see Dave again in season 3. We might see an older Dave - perhaps the Dave of the season 2 timeline, who never meets Klaus and who perhaps lives through the Vietnam war; perhaps a Dave that remembers Klaus as just ‘that crazy hippie who gave me a gay awakening in 1963′; perhaps a Dave who meets Klaus in Vietnam anyway, and they fall in love a million new little ways - or we might see Klaus’s Dave again. But this young Dave was here, I think, precisely to teach Klaus how to let him go.  Klaus avoided trying to find Dave until he absolutely had to return to Texas. (A bit like avoiding an addiction maybe...? Yes, turns out I’m still on this parallel.) The, when he did return, Klaus tried real hard to convince young Dave not to enlist. Even if it meant they would never meet. But Dave went anyway. And Klaus has to live with that. He has to live with the fact that Dave walked away, and he has to live with the fact that he will always play a part in Dave’s death. He lost Dave, again. (Klaus and death walk hand in hand, after all.) Perhaps some things in life are just set in stone. (What was it Five said in season 1? He just had to find the constant version of himself to return to? A fixed point in time?) I think for Klaus, this season was very much about coming to terms with moving forward - the anxiety just before the first step; the pain of leaving the safety net you wrapped yourself in. Now, we might see him start to move on from the people who have propped him up for so long: Dave, and Ben.  So I think in season 3, we will see Klaus grapple more with this dissonance - that his version of Dave and Ben aren’t who Dave and Ben were/are as independent people. Sparrow Academy!Ben may in fact turn out to be all the dark parts of Umbrella!Ben that Klaus and the others refused to see, and for Klaus this may mean grappling with the two opposing images of Ben whilst also finally grieving for the loss of his brother. Alternatively, he may deal with this dissonance better than the other siblings, because this is similar to what he went through with young Dave in this second season.   As for Klaus and Dave’s story in season 3, I’m honestly not sure where we go from here. I don’t think we’ll get anything from Dave’s point of view. We still have yet to really get into his head, and he remains a character whose main purpose is to fuel Klaus’s character development. Therefore, as Klaus moves on from Dave and comes to accept his death, we may not see much more of Dave at all - flashback or otherwise. He will still be very much in Klaus’s mind, though. We may also need to learn to move on from Dave. That said, I would still love to see him again, and for their story to develop further. Until we know more plot details for season 3, however, the possibilities are simply too vast to start speculating with any accuracy. 

[spnreactions]

15x15: Gimme Shelter

Alright guys! It’s time! 

Just a heads up, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, these posts usually come out later in the day, because even if I watch it live, I tend to do my reactions live, but then write up the full review later. In case you were wondering why the posts don’t usually come right away. 

Anyways! Let’s get down to it! 

Oof. Yep. We’re definitely on the serious track now, with a then like this. 

Also, I didn’t say this before, but I really love the “then” and “now” openings for this season. It’s beautiful with the Impala like that. <3 

Oof. Interesting flashback to Jack breaking out of the Ma’lak Box. 

...ew. Maybe it doesn’t taste as gross as it looks, but it looks gross. 

Jesus girls, chill. 

Okay, I already like the pastor. 

I’m watching live this week, and I’m in a FB group that’s commenting as we watch, and someone just pointed out that the pastor is Dr. Sexy MD!! Man I love when actors return like that. 

Ope. Connor’s gonna die. Poor kid. He seemed nice. 

...that teddy bear definitely wasn’t there when he was walking over before, but okay. 

UMMMMM...TALKING TEDDY!

NO THANK YOU!!! 

I HAVE A DOLL THING!!! NOT COOL!!! 

Hmmm...gotta be honest, I’m not sure how I’m feeling about Cohen’s directing on this one. :/

It had a talking teddy bear. I bet it is. 

Darkness. Nice pun. 

“He’s not that funny.” XD XD 

Dean you just want to go to Atlantic City whether Amara’s there or not don’t even deny it. XD 

Cas’s confused face will always be one of the cutest things ever. <3 

I love the way they’re all walking down the hallway together. It’s such a simple thing, but I like the way they’re positioned and everything. Point: Matt Cohen. 

SCENE FROM THE PROMO! 

Sure they can. 

“She and I used to have a thing” DEAN!! XD XD 

HIIIII JACK!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Dude, let me tell you, I am so ready for some quality Cas and Jack content. 

I love all the different reactions here. Dean is trying to get Cas and Jack out of the house, which Jack is super excited about, and Cas is very not into. XD 

...wait, did they not tell him about Mrs. Butters? Or did they just not mention her name? 

Cas looking at Sam like “help me out here” and Sam being like “sorry but no”. XD 

Oh come on Cas. Look how excited Jack is! I love how enthusiastic he gets over every hunt. It’s adorable and I love him. (Yeah you’re gonna be hearing that a lot. XD)

Cas is like “you’re kidding me right?” 

“Highway to Heaven” XD XD 

THE SCENE!!

MY BABY IS SO EXCITED I LOVE HIS LITTLE SMILE AHHHH!!!! 

No matter how Cas is against going to deal with something so small fry when they’re in the middle of something so huge, he will still smile affectionately at his son, because he loves him. <3 <3 <3 

“Blue’s a good color on you.” XD XD <3 <3 

“Agent Swift.” XD XD XD XD 

“Agent Lovato.” I’M DEAD THESE TWO ARE THE BEST!!! XD XD XD XD

HE’S HOLDING HIS BADGE UPSIDE DOWN JUST LIKE CAS DID ON HIS FIRST HUNT I’M DEAD!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

A BABY YODA REFERENCE?! This show oh my god. XD XD XD 

“I just graduated from CSI.” JACK OH MY GOD YOU ADORABLE LITTLE BEAN!!! XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Okay, I love watching Cas and Jack together, and I love watching them go on a hunt, but guys, could you at least TRY to be subtle? “Did you find tiny bags with chicken bones? Smell any sulfur? Feel cold?” Like, NO you two. XD XD 

The cop lady is just like “what the heck is wrong with these two?”

Oh. “Liar” isn’t a seven deadly sin thing. Maybe I was wrong about that. 

“For my stepson, Ronald.” JACK!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 I love him so much oh my god. 

For someone who’s new to hunting, that was actually an awesome cover. <3 <3 

Wait...speakers? Maybe it isn’t something supernatural after all? 

“Almost demonic.” Okay so that was a little more subtle. 

Okay Cohen, I take back what I said about your directing. That was a good shot of the stop sign. 

I love the way Jack’s sitting in the back of the truck. <3 <3 

Learning from Sam. <3 <3 <3 

Cas, there is no such thing as too many cats. His face when he says that though. XD 

THAT ENTIRE SEQUENCE ABOUT PARENT/GUARDIAN PERMISSION I’M DYING HOLY FRICK!!! XD XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

That was both the cutest and funniest thing ever and I just...I LOVE THEM AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

I feel like Cas is upset though. Like, he’s extra frustrated with the whole Amara and God thing. Not that I blame him of course. He’s just got a certain...coldness to him in this episode. But I like how it disappears whenever he’s talking to Jack. <3 <3 Good acting on Misha’s part. 

For example, that little soft smile when he looks over at Jack logging in to the social media account is so sweet and so cute and so undeniably fatherly. <3 <3 

Okay, gotta be honest: British demon? Totally hot. 

"Why is he talking like that?” he whispers, very loudly in a way that the party he is speaking of can definitely hear him. XD XD <3 <3 

“Because Zack has style.” 

WAIT!!! 

He’s not ACTUALLY British??!! 

Oh my god that shouldn’t have made me laugh, but it TOTALLY did. 

AND he made the “Highway to Heaven” reference just like Dean did! 

I love this demon holy frick. XD XD 

Cas’s and Jack’s confused expressions at his sudden change. XD 

“I would watch that show.” XD XD 

How this show manages to introduce a new character, however brief, and give him so much personality when we’re six episodes from the end is beyond my understanding, but man, it is one of the many reasons I love this show. <3 

Ha! “Demons are get, humans are just crazy” ring a bell? 

Ha! Of course Rowena has that philosophy. God I miss her. 

“You’re a deviant soul corrupted by Hell.” Ah, Cas, ever quick with the logical wit. XD 

Cas’s “and we’re done”. XD 

Zack is so desperate. 

And now, Zack is all of us during COVID. XD 

I love Zack. Take him with you. XD <3 

Oof. Too true, Cas. Too true. 

Awww...Jack. 

AWWW! Cas!!! Knowing his son wanted to be busy and help people. I LOVE THEM!!! 

THOSE SMILES AT EACH OTHER OH MY GOD SO CUTE!!! <3 <3 <3 

She’s gonna steal the money. 

Yep. Classy lady. *eye roll* 

Ope. And now she’s gonna die. 

AHHHH!! 

OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK!! BRING THE TEDDY BEAR BACK!! SCARY MASK IS WORSE!!! 

My mom and I both screamed jesus christ. 

“Focused.” Interesting phrasing, but okay. 

I like the way this phone call is happening. The back and forth is cool, and I like their easy talk with each other. 

Dean can’t just give straight advice. Ever. “Drink the Kool-Aid and sign up.” XD 

Oof. Jesus. 

Clearly Dean wasn’t talk about the Amara thing. 

Wait, this was over a two-day timeline? Huh. Okay then. 

Dean that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you stop. 

“Messengers of God’s Destruction”. 

No, but did any of us? 

“Least this time it’s not you or me.” Yeah, yet. 

That look Sam gives him means he had the same thought I did. 

Okay sorry, I am super not religious, and the God speak makes me want to barf. 

HA! JACK! XD 

See, this is why you have to give straight advice, Dean. I know that’s hard for you, being your chaotic bi self and all, but angels tend to take things literally, bud. XD 

Jack you dork. XD <3 

Geez girl. Be nice. 

Jack whispering again to try to be sneaky I love him. <3 

So that’s a yes then. 

Jesus. She’s a b***h. I don’t like her. 

That little head nod OMG!! <3 <3 

I LOVE THE CAS AND JACK TEAM UP THEY’RE SO CUTE!! <3 <3 

Oh. That was a sweet hug. 

My Mom: It’s him. It’s the pastor. He’s the bad guy. 

Oh! Greed! So this is a seven deadly sins thing! 

Ummm....that’s a little weird. Maybe this is as monster after all, with the tech working like that? 

But if it was a monster, why is she set up like that? 

Okay no, I take that back. I watch Criminal Minds, and this totally looks like something a serial killer would do. Especially the timer thing. 

“The new guy’s hot.” MEEEEE. That girl is me. XD <3 <3 <3 

EVERY. SINGLE. THING. JACK. DOES. IS. SO. STINKING. ADORABLE. <3 <3 <3 <3 

Boyfriend and girlfriend, I’m guessing? 

Awww...baby. :( 

Awww...Jack. :( :( 

Okay but, like, we’ve learned now, right? Don’t give her your whole story please and thank you. 

Oh okay. That’s okay. 

This girl is...off. Is it the acting, or is the character actually weird? I honestly can’t tell. 

Oof. Daddy issues alert. 

“I have more dads than most.” AWWW!!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Wait baby no, you’re not letting them down stop that. :( :( :( 

Ew. “Put your trust in God, not people.” Now I hate her. Trust me honey, the last person Jack--or anybody, for that matter--should be putting his faith in is God. 

Oh okay then. 

Ha! I love Cas’s subtle little sass with the “faith-based community”. 

Oh. A.V. and tech. TV screen. Bingo. 

Yeah I don’t think it’s the pastor. He seems too innocent. 

...except he’s definitely not getting any father-of-the-year awards. But what else is new with this show. 

“It’s complicated.” What are you talking about?? Just say yes, Cas. 

Awww...soft side of Cas. <3 

Yeah no. It’s not the pastor. There’s no way. It must be that Brother Rudy dude. 

Ha! Awkward. XD 

That’s actually really nice. I like that idea, having a church community (sorry--faith-based community) helping other people like that. It’s sweet. 

Oh. Connor was gay. That honestly totally makes sense. Poor guy. :( 

I’m glad the pastor was accepting of him though! <3 <3 

Awww...that’s a good line. “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.” 

I really hope it’s not the pastor. I like him. 

My Mom: Wait, have we just never seen them put gas in the car before? I had no idea it was behind the license plate! 

I’m thinking back and I didn’t know that either, so this must be the first time we’ve actually seen them, like, open it, and that’s HILARIOUS to me. XD 

OOOOH WAIT!! This is where they see Amara, according to the promo photos!! 

Oh heeeey girl. 

Wow she looks really pretty with that snow in her hair. 

She...she...smelled them? 

“You have a very distinctive musk.” “Thank you.” ARE THESE TWO STILL PINING FOR EACH OTHER? XD XD XD 

I like this Amara. She’s fun. 

My family and I always make kielbasa with our pierogis (I had no idea that that was how that was spelled, btw), so pierogis without the kielbasa feels wrong. XD 

Jensen’s facial expressions say so much all the time and I love it. XD 

Oh boy. 

NOOOOOO!

WHAT IS IT WITH SUPERNATURAL AND FINGERS ON THIS SHOW JESUS!!

Okay, WHO is the timer for?? Like, is it just some form of slow torture?? Because it’s not like it’s being shown to anyone other than her. 

Ooh. I like that he’s listing off all of the different names for God. Good pastor. Please don’t be a bad guy. 

HIS FAMOUS “hello” OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUUUUCH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

...oof. Ummm....

Awww.... Poor baby. :( :( :( 

AWWW!! Dad Cas to the rescue!! <3 <3 <3 

Jack looking at his dad omg. <3 <3 

I already like this speech from Cas. I can tell it’s gonna be good. 

“I guess I found a family.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

JACK’S LITTLE SMILE!!! 

“And I became a father.” THERE IT IS!!! THERE. IT. IS!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

THE WAY JACK LOOKS AT HIM AFTER HE SAYS THAT AHHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

AWWWW!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

GOOD SPEECH CAS!!! GOOD SPEECH!!! WAY TO MAKE YOUR SON FEEL BETTER!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

Awww...I really like this pastor. <3 

FRIIIICK. 

Oh sh**. There’s the time for everyone else. 

JESUS!!!

Yeah okay. This is 100% a human being’s doing. A monster wouldn’t bother. 

Jack running over to turn it off right away. Ever the hero. <3 <3 

The pastor seemed too surprised to have done it, which, for me, puts pastor in the clear. Thank goodness. 

True, but also he sucks, so help us out Amara. 

Okay, I’m sorry, but quick side note. Everyone keeps saying he’s “very nearly done”, but when Dean looked in the telescope, he didn’t see anything. I thought that meant he was done. Unless it only reaches so far? I guess it probably only reaches so far in terms of other dimensions. 

Sure there is. 

“Our pal Jack.” That’s such a weird thing to hear him say, but okay. XD 

Also I’m not sure how I feel about them telling Amara about Jack. Like, I like her, and I feel like she’s gonna help, but what if she doesn’t? She could, whether intentionally or unintentionally, wind up seeing Chuck and mentioning Jack to him, and if she does, that ruins the whole plan. But, on the other hand, I guess they have to earn her trust, and keeping details from her would definitely make that harder. But I still don’t like it. It puts my baby in danger. Again. But anyways. 

Oh. Just like that? 

“I get he’s your brother” Dean says oh so casually, as if he hasn’t literally moved heaven and hell to protect and save his own brother. 

“Squirrely weirdo” XD XD 

Oh. The Big Bang. New theory. I like it. XD 

Sure he can. 

Ummm...yeah, Amara. You’re a fool. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Maybe he cares about you a little, but definitely not as much as you’re giving him credit for. Not right now anyways. 

Wait...she actually said no? No way. I thought they were gonna be able to convince her. Guess my initial theory was wrong... What does that mean though? Like...what now? 

Jack’s gonna come slamming through that door, according to the promo. 

Called it! 

Wait...why did Jack slam through it while Cas is just...casually standing there? You’re an angel, Castiel. XD 

“Lust” It is based on “Seven”! I love it! 

Welp...guess it’s not him. 

Wait, so we are walking away with a no? That never happens to us! 

THERE we go. Go get her Dean. 

Is it just me, or has Sam been, like, really not involved this episode?? Jared’s had, like, six lines. XD 

OH! Okay, the “then” makes sense now. 

Oof. You tell her, Dean. 

That she sucks. That’s what she wanted. Because she does. 

Wait NO WAY! That’s what I said! Kind of, anyways. 

Woooow. That’s actually pretty messed up, Amara. But it makes sense for why Mary was such a terrible character and why I hated her so much. She is only human. A sucky human, too. 

Is it, though? 

“That you could finally start to accept your life.” Okay, that’s actually kind of cool, and that’s awesome on the writers’ part for adding in that explanation of why everything went the way it did. Nice. 

But also, that’s pretty messed up Amara. 

Oooh. We’re about to get some awesome Jensen acting, aren’t we? 

Jensen’s trying not to cry face is so incredible wow. 

Awww....poor Dean. 

Jesus Amara. A little sympathy? 

OOF. I love that quiet fury that Dean has. 

OOH! He got her! 

YES DEAN!!! TELL HER! 

“Well now who’s living in a dreamworld?” ...ouch. But true. 

...oh boy. That was a bold-faced lie. But so brilliantly told, Dean. 

After ALL THAT, you’re going to THINK ABOUT IT? Really??!! 

But hey! I KNEW IT!! BEAUTIIFUL acting moment on Jensen’s part!! AWESOME scene. <3 <3 <3 <3 

Oh! It’s the girl. I’m calling it. 

Yep. Daughter. 

I KNEW SHE WAS BEING WEIRD! 

See?! Super religious people are crazy!! 

Go Cas and Jack go! 

Ope. Cas is gonna heal, and Jack is gonna attack. Go boys go! 

Cas is gonna heal in front of all those people oof. 

Girl has ISSUES. 

Wow, this girl is WAAAAY too religious. Chill. 

Yeah, cause you need help. 

HEY!!! NOT COOL SYLVIA!!! 

Oof. Yeah nice try, but that’s not gonna work. 

I love how Jack just takes it and then heals all bada** like “yeah sorry but no”, but then he still looks up with the kindest and most innocent expression and I love it. <3 

Meanwhile Cas is like “yeah I’m not having any of this.” XD XD 

Does...does he always have to say sleep when he does it? Cause he didn’t used to, and for some reason, that was hilarious. XD 

Jack’s little nod. So cute. <3 <3 

Fixed her fingers, but couldn’t wash the blood off. XD 

Yeah ummm...how you gonna explain that one, Cas? 

At least pastor dude seems nice. And, like, being the good kind of religious, he’ll probably be totally cool with the angel thing. 

Wait, pastor dude is still processing this when morning hits? Okay then. 

“Not a very good one.” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! You are literally the BEST angel, thank you very much. 

Man that girl is MESSED UP. 

And Jack still feels sorry for her, my baby. :( <3 <3 

Ah. Nothing like your daughter becoming a murderer for you to finally step into a proper role of fatherhood. 

WAIT A SECOND! IT’S ZACK!! 

Dude waaait. What does that mean?? That’s, like, a really random thing. Does that mean she’s gonna come back? Or that Zack is gonna come back? I’m not sure what that means. That seems so random! I DEMAND ANSWERS SUPERNATURAL! 

The way Cas looks at Jack after the pastor says that about looking after her better. Cas I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re the best father Jack could’ve asked for, okay? 

Awww! Cas and Jack talk time!! <3 <3 

Cas is trying so hard to help him I love him. <3 

NO YOU DON’T STOP!! THIS IS WHAT FAMILY IS FOR!! WHHHHYYY are all you Winchesters like this. 

Wait. WAIT! He was hiding something?! I hate it when Sam’s right. 

Wait WHAT?! 

HOLD ON!!! 

NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO!!! NO! JACK NO!!! That is NOT ALLOWED!!! 

HOLD ON A SECOND!!! NO!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING WTF??!!! 

Wait wait wait. A bomb?? Like, just like S11?? Because no. No no no. We’re not doing this again. JACK YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE WTF??!! 

THIS THROWS ALL OF MY THEORIES OUT THE WINDOW NOOOO!!! IT CAN’T BE JACK!!! I REFUSE!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

WE JUST GOT YOU BACK!!! WE CAN’T LOSE YOU AGAIN!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Cas’s face is all of my emotional screeching right now. 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN “Don’t tell Sam and Dean.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME JACK??!! THESE ARE YOUR DADS!! THEY NEED TO KNOW!!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!!! CAS WON’T LET YOU!!! 

JACK NOOOO!!! STOP IT WITH ALL OF YOUR GUILT! GOD you’re such a Winchester!! NO!! DEAN BAKED YOU A DANG BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! YOU DON’T NEED TO DIE FOR HIM TO FORGIVE YOU!!! 

I’M HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME TYPING RIGHT NOW WTF IS THIS SCENE??!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

Me too, Cas!!! 

SEE JACK??!! YOU CAN’T!! 

NO! WHAT IS THAT?! 

NO!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT YOU STUPID IDIOT NO!!! YOU CANNOT SACRIFICE YOURSELF LIKE THIS!!! THEY WON’T LET YOU!!! 

Cas tell Sam and Dean. Please.

Oh WAIT! We have, like, two minutes left craaap. This is the scene from the promo. Cas is gonna say Sam and Dean need to know something and then it’s gonna end. I’m calling it right now. 

YES CAS!! GO CAS GO!! SAVE YOUR SON!!! 

Yep. Here it is. It’s gonna cut off. 

GODDA**IT!! I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT!!! 

WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT SUPERNATURAL??!! You can’t just...DROP A BOMB like that and then NOT RESOLVE IT GOD DA**IT!! SCREW YOU WRITERS!!! 

AHHHHH!!! I NEED NEXT WEEK RIGHT NOW!!! AHHHHH!!! THIS IS SO NOT OKAY!!!! 

If I deny it ever happened, then it didn’t happen, right? Jack and Cas solved the case, Sam and Dean got Amara’s help, and they all went home and had family dinner, okay? New ending. There we go. Problem solved. Because NO! 

Well...f**k. I guess it’s review time?? But JESUS CHRIST!!! Okay, okay, I need a minute. Please hold. 

(Several Hours Later)

Okay. I’m back. Let me start with something kind of amusing. Several minutes after the episode ended, while I was still trying to process everything, this interaction happened: 

Me, breathing heavily and dying inside: Mom, you do not seem as distressed about this as I am. 

My Mom: I am never as distressed as you are about anything in this show. It’s impossible for me to reach that level of distress. I don’t know how you do it. 

So...if you didn’t already realize how emotionally connected to this show I am, now you do. XD 

That said, let’s get down to it. 

God, there is soooo much to unpack with that episode, and even crazier, it honestly all comes from that last five minutes. Let me start with this: 

I really enjoyed this episode! It can’t quite beat last week’s episode--but, honestly, I don’t know if any of the other episodes will be able to, except for maybe the finale--but it was good! I had a few qualms about Matt Cohen’s directing, but he definitely had some strong moments, so it wasn’t bad. And, admittedly, at first, I felt like the pacing of the episode was kind of slow, and switching back and forth between the Winchesters and Cas and Jack felt kind of choppy for a bit, but as the episode played out, I realized why. This was a full-on set-up episode. While last week gave us a chance to be silly with the boys and see some beautiful family bonding, this was the one that set us up for what’s sure to be heavy and plot-filled coming up. (And yes, I know next week’s episode is much more of a monster-of-the-week, but 15x17 is when things will likely really get down to it, so I’m sure there’ll still be some important plot stuff next week--especially since we need a resolution to the Cas and Dean talk). Between the boys having to find and trick Amara, and Cas and Jack bonding and working with each other again, plus that big reveal at the end, it’s setting up the next string of episodes to be fast-paced and intense as they finally start to take on God. 

With that said, I really loved being able to see Jack and Cas together again. It’s been so long since we’ve seen them really spend time together and bond, and watching them play off each other and be father and son was adorable and hilarious. Plus, I just love Jack with every fiber of my being, so that makes everything better. XD <3 

I also really loved Dean’s interactions with Amara. I mentioned this already, but that scene, where he’s talking about Mary...that was some INCREDIBLE acting on Jensen’s part. He’s always been really good at that subtle rage, especially when it’s also filled with sadness, and this scene was no different. And I’m glad that they did finally get Amara on board; however, I’m a little concerned with what she’s going to do when she finds out he lied. Especially after how worried she seemed to be. AND SPEAKING OF LYING!!

THOSE LAST FIVE MINUTES! HOLY SHIT!! 

Okay, so I’ve had some time to think about this and talk it out with some people, so I’m just gonna roll with the thoughts as they go through my brain. First of all, that is a big no a thousand times over. Jack, you cannot die. Second of all, that reveal was very well done on the writer’s part. After such a nonchalant episode--in terms of pace, that is--to have that in the last five minutes, AND to end with that cliffhanger, was a beautiful way to keep us fans guessing, invested, and wanting more. But also, SCREW YOU! 

That said, as freaked out as I was--and honestly, I’m still pretty worried--I really don’t think Jack’s going to die. There’s no way. Initially, my theory left Cas and Jack standing at the end of all of this. After CW said that thing about one of the main characters not surviving to the end, I thought it was gonna be Dean, but I can also see how it could be both Sam and Dean. However, in any case, Cas and Jack, in my various theories, always end up on top. So Jack saying he’s going to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara TOTALLY threw me. BUT! After talking it through with someone else, I seriously doubt it’s going to happen. 

First of all, Cas is about to go look for another way, and, as we’ve seen in the past, they always find another way. After all, this is the Winchesters (and yes, Cas counts, obviously). 

Second of all, they’re telling us this five episodes before the end, but Jack is, supposedly, completing his final ritual in 15x17. That leaves three episodes of unaccounted time, and if Jack is really going to die to kill Chuck and Amara, there’s no way they can stretch that over three episodes. Therefore, his dads are bound to stop it. To FURTHER that, 15x17 has Jack and Dean heading out together to complete Jack’s final ritual while Sam and Cas stay behind, which means that, once Jack does whatever he’s supposed to do, Dean is bound to find out what Billie’s true intentions are, and I’m convinced that he’s not going to be okay with it. Because here’s the thing. Between Sam and Dean, Jack is the one that Dean still needs the most forgiveness from. And, kind of like what happened in Last Holiday, the second Dean realizes Jack is in actual danger, he’s not going to let anything happen to him. And I’m hoping that the resulting protectiveness will give Dean the chance to tell Jack that he does forgive him, which will hopefully release some of Jack’s guilt complex and give them the ability to find another way. 

THIRD of all, (and I mentioned this in my reactions), this whole “becoming the bomb to kill the cosmic entities” is an exact mirror of what Dean tried to do in S11, and we saw how that went. But the thing is, why would the writers play the exact same storyline again unless they were intending to parallel it and connect it to Jack and Dean’s relationship now? When Dean didn’t detonate in S11, he got his mom back, but then Jack killed her. Now, Jack is ready to detonate himself as a bomb because of having killed Mary, and Dean’s bound to stop him, especially after that conversation with Amara. Maybe this is all wishful thinking, but I really, sincerely feel like (and hope) that Jack isn’t going to make that sacrifice. Because, on top of all of that, while I love the family that is Team Free Will 2.0, this show still is, as it always has been, about Sam and Dean, and, as such, it should end with them too. So the odds of Jack being the “be all end all” without Sam and Dean’s help? Super slim. 

So, to sum that up, as worried as I am about my baby, I really really really think (and god I hope I’m right) that that’s not the way this story will end. There has to be more to it. 

With all of that addressed, let’s talk about WHATEVER it is that Cas is about to tell Dean. For me, there are two things it could be:

First, there’s the obvious answer based on the episode itself. Cas is about to tell Dean that Jack has to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara. However, I don’t think that’s it, because that seems too easy and unrealistic. If Cas tells Dean that now, then why would Dean take him to do his final ritual in 15x17 (I guess this is what happens when you read too much promotional material lol)? And even if he does, the next episode seems to be very Sam and Dean centric, and Cas dropping a bomb like that would not allow for a Sam and Dean centric episode, at least not when it’s putting their whole big mission in a different light. Plus, on top of all of that, that Cas and Jack conversation is an exact parallel of the conversation the two of them had about Cas making his deal with the Empty back in Season 14. Cas told Jack not to tell Sam and Dean, and Jack never did, even though his life is at risk. So Cas telling Sam and Dean about Jack now, knowing that Jack kept that secret for him, might break a certain level of trust between the two of them, and I don’t think Cas would do that. Which brings me to my second and, in my opinion, more likely theory. 

Cas is about to tell Dean about his deal with the Empty. While this would also be a huge bomb to drop in the middle of this big fight, and in the middle of all this chaos, it technically doesn’t directly correlate with their fight with Chuck. However, if something does happen to Cas, that’s something that Sam and Dean do need to know, because it’ll affect how they handle things and what they do, in a lot of ways. At the same time, I feel like, if Cas is gonna do a whole “go it alone” thing, it’s important that he tells them before he leaves, because there’s no telling what could happen, to any of them, when they’re not all together, and being as open as possible before separating like that tends to be a good idea. It seems like Cas might finally be learning. 

That said, I could be wrong all around. It could be neither of those things. It could be both of those things. Honestly, there’s no way to know for sure until we get to next week. However, after a crazy ending like that, I am definitely looking forward to seeing what Supernatural has in store for us next. 

My Rating: 8/10

[abiik]

@vhsgf replied to your post “this song made me realize i've never written about jason missing zoe”

heather this might be too forward and angsty of me to say (pls lmk if is) but now i am curious about zoe reacting to jason's death and then mirroring w jason coming back from the dead and then finding out his best friend is dead. like it sounds so PAINFUL but like. also i wanna know about it. heather what have you done i-

i had to put my hair up for this. im literally so emotional about this rn,,,like when am i not but STILL OKAY IT MAKES ME VERY [SCREECHES] (also a read more because this is fucking long im so sorry)

okay let’s start with zoe because jason’s death is a traumatic thing for her on like multiple points all relating back to when she was like elementary school aged (im pretty sure i have it where she’s like 8 ish when this happens). before jason and before going into the whole vigilante business – no matter what version of zoe you prefer – she loses her two younger brothers in a joker related accident. he kills them. and zoe… zoe is so,,, well she’s angry. because no one does anything. no one. not that fabled batman, not the police, not the fucking government – NOBODY. and she’s just supposed to keep living her life like everything is fucking fine because oh that’s just the way gotham is. and like why the fuck would she just keep living her life when her barely out of toddler aged little brothers are now dead?? why wouldn’t she want to do something about that?? why the fuck should she just let it roll off her back like no biggie?? (of course, this is a catalyst for her mother’s downward spiral and eventual disappearance, and then keme’s).

then of course, there’s zoe’s powers. at that age she didn’t really understand the extent of them, what she could do with them and all that, but as they develop and her own awareness of them develop, she is faced by like intense guilt and remorse. if only she’d been able to do something. if only she’d been there. if only she could’ve stopped the joker. if only, if only, if only. and like, realistically, there wasn’t much she could do. it wasn’t like she knew fully how strong she was; she’d barely gotten flying down at that point, but then she’s growing up and she realizes she never really had a limit. and she kind of has this complex, i’ve said it before but she really does try to bear the weight of the world on her shoulders, so everything that has happened to her up until this point after the twins die, it’s partly her fault; if only she could have been better, she could have saved them, she could have her mom, she could have keme – she could have her family back.

then, of course, there is in all of this her intense hatred of the joker. and by correlation to the whole fucking issue, gotham city and batman. (ive said that they kind of grow to like each other more, but when z and jay become friends and through their teen years until his death, it’s kind of like whenever youre gay and your bff is gay and you both kind of hate the other’s really fucked up parent who’s okay sometimes but isn’t all the time and you would totally like throw down with them if only there weren’t like,,,repercussions)

anyway, so when jason dies, it’s a big fucking deal. like he’d already been acting weird, bruce was worried about him, z was worried about him, and then he dies okay. and zoe… bruce doesn’t tell zoe right away. he doesn’t tell her and when zoe does find out, she. is. pissed. all of the shit with her baby brothers comes back. she wasn’t there. she wasn’t able to save him – because she sure as hell KNOWS that she could have at this point. and now he’s GONE. AND THIS ENTIRE TIME, SHE HAD NO FUCKING CLUE BECAUSE BRUCE DIDN’T TELL HER!!! she couldn’t even go to his funeral!!! and then, AND THEN, on fucking top of that – it was the joker who killed him. so jason’s death was like a fucking quadruple blow to her.

after finding out the details, zoe goes binary for the first time. and it’s… well it’s scary. it takes a whole lot of coaxing from old teammates and being physically restrained by diana (who lowkey is kinda like why?? are?? we?? stopping?? her?? from?? killing?? the?? joker??) and clark and donna, and they can’t even really knock her out because when she’s binary, there’s only really waiting out the duration of the high until she passes tf out from using too much energy. which she DOES and then after a good long talk with gran-gran, zoe’s going on a much needed retreat with diana to themyscira.

during that time, zoe’s super depressed. like reasonably, so. she’s so exhausted and she’s still angry but she’s also just like,,, so tired. she lost her best friend dude. like she loves jason so much, she loves him so much, and then he was just gone. poof! and at least, at least with atsa and ahiga, she got to like, be there for their send off. jason ends up being another hole in her life, like her dad and her mom and keme. he’s added to this list of people who all were just…g o n e. she didn’t get to mourn them. like obviously, she can, but every time she thinks about jason, she begins to spiral. (this is kind of when she starts drinking,,,, human alcohol can’t really touch her but she does therapeutically – which is!! not good!!) she also begins to distance herself – from jason’s titans (connor holds on with an iron grip and eddie still checks up on her, but rose was just as distraught and kyle is still kind of numb), from the original titans, from bruce and alfred, from diana, even from gran-gran and uncle bell. she fills the void with work as well as the alcohol that doesn’t really do anything to her except make her mouth taste gross and weird and she hates it but it’s become a habit. if she isn’t out doing some reckless thing while saving the world, then she’s at a bar or just sitting by the ocean.

she has bad dreams too, like horrible dreams. and like,,, they’re not necessarily horrific or anything,, she usually dreams about good times, memories with jason or with atsa and ahiga, sometimes some weird mixture of all three of them hanging out together and it’s the worst fucking thing because she wakes up and she wishes she was there too, that she could stay with them, because she misses them so much. she just wants her family back, she wants the family she had before jason and dick and alfred and the titans, but she also wants them too – she wants all of it.

and then it all comes to head with her dad’s sudden involvement with earth and shit. zoe sacrifices herself not only because she carries the fucking world on her shoulders and has a stupid martyr complex, but also because she thinks she’d be okay dying like this. she doesn’t. die that is. she doesn’t die but she also doesn’t come back.

jason’s revival story arc thing is all a bit murky for me bc I kind of like mix the whole waking up and clawing himself from his grave and also the under the red hood storyline (and like correct me if there is a version like that bc like,,, idk I can’t remember). anyway, so jason comes back, and like it’s kind of messy bc of timeline shit but he doesn’t really come back, come back, until z’s gone. like gone gone. like they held a funeral and everything for her. jason didn’t get to go and THAT is SHIT. like yeah, he wasn’t fucking alive, nobody fucking knows he’s alive anyway, but it still hurts.

and like,,, you know what else kind of hurts, is like he kind of thought that after he came back, if no one was on his side – if for some reason literally everyone was against him – he’d still have zoe. that’s the worst fucking part. he hears about what happened. he hears that she literally went ballistic. and like,, jason KNOWS that zoe would have his side, that zoe would be there for him, that even if she might not have agreed with some of the things he’s done, that she’d be right by his side, showing she cares. because like. like I know bruce is kind of stunted with emotional expression, but it’s really hard to feel like you’re appreciated when someone else’s love language is so fucking hard to translate, when you need constant validation, to be told you matter to be shown you matter to them and they can’t accommodate even a little bit, because of their pride or because they have to deem that you deserve it all of a sudden. and like I love bruce, but they way he treats his kids is shit. so yeah. jason feels hella alone when he comes back and his best friend, his rock, his ride or die (literally wfkejvnk) is fucking gone.

jason definitely has nightmares too. he doesn’t know how zoe died, like really know – no one does, because there hadn’t been a body. and jason’s mind can be a pretty dark place already, add on top of that the nightmares about his best friend dying the same way he did, or being like dick, who actually witnessed the explosion that ‘killed’ zoe. he can’t even fathom what zoe went through with his death, but eventually, as jason kind of comes back into the batfam and shit, he also kind of gets to be with the last of zoe’s family. gran-gran and uncle bell are much warmer than bruce wayne and that too big mansion and that cold fucking cave. jason goes to the ranch a lot, or finds himself at uncle bell’s antique shop whenever he needs a breather, to just be alone with something that close to zoe.

they literally both go through that period where they’re extremely reckless with mourning and regrets and fuck i never got to say this and fuck what could I have done differently, what could I have changed if I’d been there? but where jason is able to recover more effectively, zoe doesn’t do so well in space.

really, that song had triggered thoughts about jason going through her things, the things she left in his bedroom – that bruce refused to touch or move or anything – and just thinking back on their life together. it was definitely shorter than they expected and when jason thinks about it, it’s a whole bunch of salty anger and throat swelling sadness that has him kind of crippled. because like,,, he also knows how the twins died, he knows how it happened, not only did he have the firsthand accounts from those most effected, but also like, he read the reports. he KNOWS, and he feels kind of guilty, just a little bit, that what he did put her through a similar version to losing her baby brothers.

NREJKVNERLFEWLFJNEKR FUCK OKAY I THINK I NEED TO STOP LIKE THIS IS OBVIOUSLY JUST A BIG DUMB BUT BFJKERNFKJEN F   U   C   K  OKAY

[thanksjro]

Polyhex Wars, Book 1 Part 2: The Timeline for the Robots Being Gay Goes Back Further Than I Thought

Ratchet wakes up from that whole, “mystical passing out” thing to find himself strapped to a table with his head all poked into with wires. Optimus and Prowl are also being subjected to this treatment, but they’re not awake yet.

I guess we all have that one character we just latch onto, don’t we?

Chromedome was there when all three of these guys collapsed, and went to go get help. Ratchet explains that there was black fire and breaking glass and it was all like some god-awful acid trip.

No kidding, doc.

Ratchet seems to think that all that actually happened, but it turns out that it was all in their heads, much like everything else that they’d seen. Chromedome just saw them drop with a flash of light.

Optimus wakes up, and First Aid explains that their mental trips into Limbo are coming closer and closer together,  and becoming more violent as a result. There’s a good chance that the next time they have an attack, they’ll be sharing a dreamscape.

Prowl hasn’t woken up. Optimus is worried that he’s stuck in Limbo, and demands that they be put back under to guide him back to the land of the living. First Aid has his reservations, but what is he gonna do, argue with the space pope? Optimus and Ratchet are sent back in with the power of mind-transfer.

Let’s take a quick look at some Chromedome canon before we move on to the next chunk of story, because I want to try and get a feel for why Roberts seems to like him so much.

In the Marvel comics, Chromedome was kind of a reclusive computer nerd, who very much disliked the fact that all his programming skills were only being applied to the war effort as opposed to literally anything else. When Fortress Maximus decided to up and leave, he went along gladly. He ended up getting paired with a very outgoing, vain Nebulan partner named Stylor when the whole Headmaster thing happened. They had their differences, but ultimately were brought together by the common goal of kicking Decepticon ass for the greater good. Comic Chromedome is a relatively nice guy, if a bit cowardly- his final entry in the series was heading for the hills when Unicron showed up, but honestly I can’t really fault him for that.

And then there’s the Headmasters anime. Yeah, Chromedome was an anime protagonist back in the 90’s. Anime Chromedome is a completely different entity than his comic counterpart. His whole thing is that he wants revenge for the murder of his friends at the hands of Sixshot. He’s also a Headmaster- no shit- but it works a little differently, in that he’s the only one involved with the process. Chromedome himself IS the head, and the big body he plugs into is just this sort of inert mecha that he pilots when he wants to be able to reach the higher shelves at the supermarket.

Anime Chromedome is the second-in-command to Fortress Maximus, and he’s a bit of a jackass at times, but he seems to have his heart in the right place. You know, when he isn’t busy beating Decepticons to death. Anime Chromedome goes hard.

Getting back to the story, we return to the scene we left at the end of Part One, with the 40 Autobots having been caught in a trap in Darkmount.

Well that lasted all of five minutes. Poor Grandpa.

This starts a chain reaction, and it isn’t long before all the Autobots are throwing punches. Blaster goes full cowl, taking four guys on at once, and potentially kneeing someone in the nuts so hard they flies up into the air and are promptly exploded by gunfire. Blaster throws a gun to Sights, who is a sniper, and then is right back in the center of the fracas.

Sights is a sniper here, but it looks like the only Sights in Transformers canon is a bird who can turn into a fusion cannon. They probably aren’t the same character, unless there’s something I don’t know about birds.

Sights hauls himself up to a ledge using a grappling hook, and starts picking off Decepticons. Things seem to be turning around for the Autobots at this point, because Sights is the best.

Sights is what some might call a Mary Sue- he’s the best at sniping, rivaling Optimus Prime himself with his accuracy, everyone seems to know him, and he singlehandedly has turned the tide of this fight. As the Autobots escape, he manages to explode a key piece of Decepticon equipment, killing over a dozen enemy troops.

This is an earlier work, if you couldn’t already tell.

We do see some neat transitions in the writing, though.

Ratchet and Optimus have entered Limbo, and are feeling a little manic about the whole thing, especially since the space is just filled with corpses from the Time Wars. Like, it’s a carpet of dead bodies.

Roberts was all about that edge from the get-go, huh?

The two robots start walking, looking for Prowl.

Over with Red Alert on the Celestial, he’s not really feeling the vibe on this spacecraft. Neither is Hot Shot, but neither of them can really pinpoint why exactly that is. Sideswipe points out that Getaway doesn’t have his Nebulan partner with him- for this particular story, we’re going with the take on Getaway as a Powermaster, which means he has a smaller person who plugs into his body to act as a battery, kind of like a reverse parasite.

Comic books are weird.

Toy gimmicks are also weird.

This cues in the Autobots that things might not be on the up and up here. You know, that and the whole “Witterquick” thing. The boys load their weapons, but keep them concealed as they approach not-Blaster, who’s beginning to worry that he’s been caught after all this time.  He must have sort flavor of social anxiety, because he’s kept his cool over the video chat for the last few weeks, but the moment Red Alert enters the room, he blows his cover and orders the Decepticons to attack.

Back at Darkmount, it seems we’ve lost a few people, as the count has gone from 40 to 29. The boys are running through the halls, completely clueless as to where to go in order to escape.

Don’t be shocked by the language, this is G1 Silverbolt, not the one who fucks is a complete gentleman to a spider.

I’m still convinced that this Courier guy is evil. You should be tossing him out the window, not looking to him for help.

The Decepticons are gaining. Hound, exasperated, asks as nicely as he can for Silverbolt to try and wake Courier up as they attempt to keep the distance between factions as wide as they can. Laser fire quickly becomes involved, and Swerve and Bumblebee go from the back of the pack to the front. Little fellas can move when they want to.

While Sights does another cool thing with some guns he stole, Courier wakes up and says- with some trouble, since he’s just woken up and still bleeding from that leg wound- that they should jump into the sewers to escape.

That’s all well and good, but if they intend on doing such a thing, they’ll need to put a bit more distance between themselves and their assailants. Everyone starts shooting at the ceiling, attempting to bring it crashing down. Everyone except Sights. No, instead Sights goes on picking off any Decepticon who gets too close for comfort, until they manage to bring the house down.

The strong, silent type, Sights is. Tall, dark, and handsome, too, most likely.

Back in Limbo, Ratchet’s starting to crack.

As if on cue, the ground starts to crack, revealing lava of all things, and the whole scene turns into Dante’s Inferno-flavored Hell. Yeah, proper noun Hell. Optimus and Ratchet are exploded by contact with a downpour of acid rain, then their bodies reconstituted, only to be burned to crispies by the lava. When they wake up from that, they find themselves stuck on a spinning silver plate in the sky, where they have an excellent view of where Prowl’s gotten to- he’s stranded on an asteroid with a big, scary Decepticon, who’s about to complete wreck his shit.

You know, the snark has always been there in Roberts’ writing, but it didn’t really hit its stride until after this piece of work.

Meanwhile, in the sewers, our Autobots aren’t doing so hot. Courier’s probably going to die if they don’t get him medical attention soon. I guess they just didn’t have any sort of medic on the Celestial when it was overtaken, which seems like a massive oversight. Or maybe they’re dead.

We don’t have time to worry about the hiring practices of the Autobots right now though, because a few Decepticons just arrived on the scene.

Well, there goes the token girl character.

Seems like nobody told these ‘Cons to not hit their deep cover operative. There goes several thousand years of Autobot secrets, dumbasses. Soundwave’s going to be so pissed.

The Autobots quickly fall into formation and start defending themselves. Turns out Rev-Tone’s on the scene.

Hi Rev-Tone!

Someone gets shot and proceeds to explode, which causes enough chaos for a Decepticon to load up a missile launcher without being noticed and fire it into the crowd.

Things are looking hopeless, so that means it’s time for Sights to make his Heroic Sacrifice™. Hound begs him to stay, because he can’t bear to lose anyone else.

Unfortunately, the Hound/Sights coffeeshop AU slowburn fit written by Rewind will have to have a fix-it fic tag, because Sights is almost immediately and literally ripped apart by a smattering of Decepticons. Knowing his time is running out, he busts out the big guns.

Oh my god he’s got fucking laser vision.

That isn’t quite enough though, so he initiates self-destruct, thereby saving his fellow Autobots and dying a hero.

You know, if you stack Sights on top of what was left of Quark after the interrogation scene, you make a whole robot. Worst. Duobot. Ever.

Not to worry though, because Wheeljack’s taken the opportunity to be all weird and cryptic, and insinuates that they potentially COULD bring Sights back from the dead. Because of course he can.

We don’t get to find out how that magic’s going to happen though, because it’s time to check in on Optimus and Ratchet.

Things aren’t going great. They crashed the disk, and it turns out that the giant Decepticon threatening Prowl and throwing body parts at him is Galvatron. Optimus leaps into action, attempting to use his magnetic repellence on the enemy.

I guess that’s a thing he has.

It works, but it’s taking a lot out of Optimus, so they need to figure something else out fast. Optimus, ever light on his mental feet, surges the power so that Galvatron explodes. Ratchet goes over to Prowl to see what his deal is, and it’s looking like he’s going to need brain surgery.

“Now back the hell up, Optimus, you’re breathing contaminates all over Prowl’s exposed brain.”

Back on Cybertron, it turns out that things might just be okay after all, as Hound and company have stumbled across the lost city of Subterrainia. Subterrainia did not exist in Transformers canon at the time of this writing, but it would in 2012, when Roberts used his immense power as a hired writer for the franchise to make it so.

Now that they’re in a place that has medical equipment, they can heal their wounded and indulge in a little lore. Trasher provides us with the backstory of this lost city.

Long before the War, Transformers lived on the surface of Cybertron. Then, one day, someone said, what if we didn’t do that? Then they built Subterrainia and lived there instead. Then the War happened and people sort of just forgot that it was there. The end.

That’s literally it.

After that riveting explanation, we check back in with Optimus, who I suppose forgot to put on his patience hat this morning, as he asks Ratchet to hurry up with the life-saving field surgery he’s currently in the middle of. Ratchet calls him out on it, as he should, and Optimus apologizes, going back to worrying about his troops outside of Limbo.

Over on the Celestial, Red Alert’s just had his arm shot off, and there’s a continuity error running amok.

You are supposed to be back at base, mister!

The Autobots are getting their asses kicked, and it’s not hard to see why- a lot of the Decepticons on this spacecraft are heavy hitters. Starscream’s here, the entire Combaticon team, it’s wild.

Then Starscream calls for escape plan 3 to take place, and they just… leave. It’s strange, and it’s sudden, and the Autobots can’t help but agree. Red Alert decides to see what’s on the computer to try and figure out what they’re planning, and ends up setting off the countdown for a bomb. Slapdash yells at him for being an idiot.

Back down in the City of the Mole People, Getaway’s come back from checking out the place, and informs Hound that it’s completely abandoned. He theorizes that the Decepticons killed everyone who lived here, an will probably come looking for them sooner rather than later. That’s all fine though, because Courier’s back and better than ever.

I still don’t trust him.

He says he knows how to get out of Subterrainia- which only chalks up more points against him being a true Autobot- but hold on! What about Sights?

Sights just got Goldbugged. It’s Ammo now.

Roberts will never let a pair of robot titties go unnoticed. I can’t believe that Wheeljack, with the limited time they had, would go and make Ammo this attractive, and then have the audacity to show him off with a dramatic reveal. It was completely unnecessary, but here we are, staring at Ammo’s strong arms and thighs, wishing to be held by Hotbot 9000 over here.

Hound is all about this overhaul. Look at him, getting all flustered.

Ammo as character is present in the IDW run of the comics, but in name only. They are very different creatures, much like the different iterations of Quark. Roberts is very into recycling, and here is no exception.

After Ammo’s debut, the narrative checks in on Autobot City, where things aren’t nearly as sexy; Starscream made a beeline for the place the moment they left the Celestial, and they’re wrecking shop. He’s doing this without orders to do so, by the way. This is just how Starscream wants his Monday to go, I guess. It’s looking pretty grim for the Autobots, and Optimus is still stuck in Limbo. Hopefully he gets back soon.

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 7x13 brain dump

So this review/brain-dump is probably not going to be very thorough as I am simply too excited for our Olicity baby!!  I really enjoyed this week, and haven’t felt this giddy about an episode in forever!!!  Positive!Beccie is back with a vengeance!  No ranting (probably) from me this week!

The Queen family

I could probably write this review solely under this heading, because this was a truly family-centric episode.  We got some real scenes of the three of them this week at last!!  

Source: lucyyh

Continued under the cut

The pancake scene was just brilliant; Oliver starting off out of his element, then Felicity playing bad cop to get Oliver to start the conversation, then Oliver just acing his chat with William, like he’s been Dadding forever!  I loved Oliver calling William “young man”; when I used to get “young lady”-d by my Mum I knew I was in the shit 😂  William was brilliant in these scenes too-he had some valid points, and spoke them up well, but in that wonderful moody/angry teenager way obvs, of course resulting in a storm-out, followed by a “we’re not done here”!  I realise as I’m writing this that we never really got to the bottom of why William got expelled; he said it was a fight, but no more information than that, I’m guessing that’s all we’re going to get?  Anyway, I really enjoyed the Oliver-William scenes, and we got that adorable scene between Will and Felicity with the Rubik’s cube, that we saw mentioned in the flash forwards earlier in the season.

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Oliver and Felicity deciding to let William go and live with his grandparents was heart-breaking 😭😭  I adored Oliver sticking up for Felicity and fighting for his family...there’s our boy!!  

Source: olicitygifs

I’m so pleased that Oliver asked Felicity for her opinion, and actually made that decision with her.  This is a true marriage, a family.  A family that is now torn apart again and I don’t like it, but I think it was the right decision for the time being.  I also don’t think this is the last we will see of William, despite how the FFs may make it seem right now.  He most certainly wasn’t abandoned here; it was his choice to leave.

But when one child leaves…we get another one 😂😂😂   THE OLICITY BABY IS HERE!!!!  

Ok, so this wasn’t exactly the jaw-dropping moment it was teased to be (was it teased to be? I don’t even know; we work ourselves into such fabulous frenzies over these things that I can’t remember what we were supposed to be expecting haha!).  Anyway.  We been knew.  But for every worried anon, Loliver stan, morally questionable writer (looking at you MG) or otherwise delusional troll/comic f*boy that may have put an element of doubt into our heads….HA!! Of course Mia was going to be Olicity’s daughter, it was the only logical explanation.  The hints were still coming thick and fast throughout the episode; there was even one beautiful transition scene where Felicity morphed into Mia before our very eyes! And we now have a pregnant Felicity!  I’m not big into baby/pregnancy storylines so I don’t have a boatload of things I’m desperate to see.  I just need to see Felicity tell Oliver, and have a few cutesy overprotective/scared prospective parent moments and I’ll be happy!  I’m still more interested in Felicity as a character and her personal storyline, and I’m hoping that that isn’t lost.  For me it’s the solidification of their family in the present, and the legacy that they leave for us to see in the future that I’m excited for (SO EXCITED!!!).

Stan

Source: plotbunnyshipper

Why hasn’t he been a proper Big Bad?!  As many have already said, he’s been a more frightening, involved, relevant and empathetic villain in the 2-3 episodes we’ve known him as a villain for, than LizardBoy has been in 1.5 seasons!!!  It’s almost a shame that they used him on such a family-focused episode, because I think he could have carried a full-on villain-centric episode by himself.  He was a scary combination of vulnerable, creepy and violent and he left us (or me at least) wanting more!!  I hope we see him again, but I don’t think we will.  I loved his drugging of the Queen family (ok that drugging was a bit ridiculous, but this is still Arrow), and his truth bombs about the rest of the ‘team’; the man made some serious sense!!  And I loved seeing the three of them work as a team to take him down!

Flash forwards

Mia frikkin Smoak guys!!!!  

Source: feilcityqueen

Baby Olicity is a savage lol!!  A gloriously imperfect mix of island rage Oliver and angry Felicity.  This girl is damaged and has been through some serious shit for sure, which I hate for her, but makes her so interesting to watch.  I loved her punching out William and Zoe (for no real reason ha!) and taking on Dinah and Roy (with Connor’s help).  She’s fearless, no nonsense and will do whatever it takes to achieve her goal, which is to use the Archer program to find Felicity, her mama  😍😍 We got to see Parkour!Roy, still never fails to make me smile (and he’s SO HOT), and saw Dinah recognise Connor as Dig’s son, calling him Connor, not JJ.  So Roy and Dinah didn’t know JJ, Mia or William (not really), and Dig, Oliver and Felicity are all still unaccounted for.  Looks like OTA and fam went scram, be that into hiding or just out of Star City, and a long while back too.

The future story arc is really quite well done in S7; the writers have had us puzzling within fandom so much over Mia’s parentage, when the real mystery is what the f is going on in these flash forwards!  I have zero clue what is going on, and I like that I don’t know!  It’s still frustrating, because we are so used to an overload of spoilers and the somewhat predictable writing, so it’s refreshing to be sooo in the dark still at this stage.  We also have to think that as well as the ‘present’ future situation, there are also 20 years of unknowns to be filled in, and it’s exciting!  It’s also grim as hell, and by the sound of it we won’t get a ‘happy’ resolution by the end of the season, but I’m hoping there is a teeny bit of sunshine in amongst all the grey clouds!  I’m also (maybe?) in the minority whereby if this hopeless future is a result of Oliver having died in our current time (i.e. in the crossover), I don’t want his inevitable resurrection to ‘reset’ this future timeline, or else what would have been the point at all of this storyline for the past season?  I dunno…I’m ultimately so confused by it all, but for now I’m ok with that 😊

NTA + Dig

It hurts my heart that Dig is in this category, for now at least.  They were fine, not too annoying I think as they took up an acceptably small amount of screen time. I would have liked to see a bit more Dig, but it wouldn’t have fit in this episode.  I thought the murder-house stuff was cool, suitably suspenseful and funny in parts.  It’s a shame they put Dinah’s attack in the trailer, as that would have been an awesome shock moment otherwise.  So is that her Canary Cry gone now?  That seems lazy to me…this is a metahuman superpower, and one swift non-fatal slit to the throat puts an end to it?  I call bullshit.

Curtis Holt has left the building!!  He couldn’t leave without reminding us why we grew to dislike him; signing over Helix to Felicity (Smoak Tech RISE!) so self-satisfactorily, as if he’d done a damn thing towards it in the last year (and what he did previously for Helix he used to intentionally track and cause bodily harm to the recipient…still mad).  Bye bitch!  I’m glad they got rid without resorting to offing a black gay character though….WELL DONE WRITERS!!!  Under another showrunner (*cough* MG) this would have gone differently I’m positive.  Also, the fact that Curtis’ exit is so unnoteworthy and TOTALLY overshadowed by MIA FRAKKING SMOAK is just beautiful!!

Ok so this got long again, quelle surprise!  Sorry!  And we have to wait 3 weeks till the next episode 😣😣

Thank you to the wonderful gif-brigade!  Our saviours 💗

[thepropertylovers]

Feature Friday with Arnold Ruelas

Happy Friday! How has your week been? This week’s Feature Friday is local to us, right here in Chattanooga! We had so much fun learning about Arnold’s life and getting a peak into what makes him tick. We found ourselves touched & inspired by his story, like how his “Mexican, Catholic, macho” father reacted when Arnold came out to him, how he started his own business, and how he gives back to his community. We think you’ll enjoy getting to know him as much as we did. Take a look below…

Where are you from? I was originally born in southern California and we lived there for a year. My parents and I moved to Mexico for two years and at the age of three we moved to South Carolina. I grew up right near Augusta, GA in a little town called Edgefield, SC!   

Where do you live? Chattanooga, TN

Instagram handle? @arnoldaruelas

Age: 27

What is your favorite place you’ve ever travelled to and why? I got the chance to travel to the Dominican Republic last summer and it was the best mix of relaxation/adventure. My friend Victoria and I went to Punta Cana on an all inclusive 7 day besties trip. We got the chance to go on a sailboat out to the island where they filmed Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and had a local dominican lunch and took a speedboat back to the resort. We drove dune buggies through the city and stopped at a cave to jump into a 30+ foot deep cave pool. It was so dark and so cold but so worth it! We had the best tans ever and had all the drinks and food! 10/10 would recommend it to anyone!

What made you want to come out? For me it was something that had been building up for a while and one day I just had the urge to scream it out from the top of a building! So I basically did, but via some phone calls and not off the top of a building. I had felt for so long like I had been living a double life and just needed to experience what truly being Arnold was like. I saw friends around me being so happy being gay and open and I thought “I want that for myself”. And I also knew that by coming out I could probably help someone in my same situation.

“…all I could say was ‘Dad I’m sorry but I like men, I’m gay.’ He paused and said ‘Arnold I raised you, I knew.’ And I let out the biggest sigh of relief!”

What was your coming out experience like? I was 20 years old, living in Nashville at the time with my best friend. I was home visiting friends and family and just knew that it was going to happen that weekend. I was in the car with my mom driving to the grocery store I believe, and just had the urge to just look at her and say it. So I did, I looked at her and said “Mom, I don’t like women, I like men. And I mean sexually.” She took a moment and said “Arnold, I love you regardless, I just want grandkids and our bloodline to continue on.” I am an only child so she thought me not having a wife in the future meant she wouldn’t have grandkids. I assured her she would still get grandkids and since then she has not stopped hounding me about it! I couldn’t look my dad in the face and say it so I called him on my 6 hour drive back to Nashville. My father is a mexican, catholic, macho man so I was terrified as to how he would react. I was crying on the phone before he even answered. When he picked up all I could say was “Dad I’m sorry but I like men, I’m gay.” He paused and said “Arnold I raised you, I knew.” And I let out the biggest sigh of relief! After that I told my closest friends and they were all honestly happy that I finally came out, I swear they were taking bets as to when I would do it!'

What did you learn about yourself in the coming out process? I learned that I am stronger than I was telling myself. Growing up in school I was bullied and questioned for “possibly being gay” and would try so hard to hide the real me. When I did come out I decided this is my time and I need to blossom into Arnold. Since that day I have not cared about conforming myself to be someone that society accepts.

Have you faced any backlash since coming out? How do you deal with it? Thankfully I can say that I have not dealt with backlash. It has been the complete opposite for me. I’ve been surrounded by the most encouraging friends and family that have pushed me to become my true self after coming out. There have been little occasions that I can recall where someone made a comment or two about my sexuality but I’ve brushed it off because I know it’s not something that I can personally control.

“When I [finally] did come out, I decided this is my time and I need to blossom into Arnold. Since that day I have not cared about conforming myself to be someone that society accepts.”

Are you religious? Why or why not? Can I answer this one with a yes and a no?! Growing up I was raised Catholic and was at Spanish mass every Saturday with my parents. We were very involved in volunteering and helping out within the church. I do believe in God, but haven’t always agreed with some of the practices of the Catholic church. Being gay and being a Christian for some people sounds crazy but I truly believe God created me and I’ve seen him work first hand in my life.

You started your own fashion styling business! How did that come about? Yes, I did! Right out of high school I started working in fashion retail. Started out part time not knowing what exactly I was doing if we are being honest. Slowly worked my way up and became a retail store manager within a few years. During the process I explored my creative side with wardrobing. I loved seeing outfits come together and seeing it bring joy to my clients. Soon I became known within the company I worked with for my styling capabilities and started getting a following of clients that would book appointments with me! I finally left retail exactly a year ago (Happy Anniversary to me!) and decided to pursue my love of styling and take it out of the retail jungle. Earlier this year I started the process of starting my business by making a few business cards, telling friends about what I do and letting it spread via word of mouth. I’ve been blessed to have met some amazing clients and have them trust me with their wardrobes! I help them with anything from cleaning out their current wardrobe, adding staple pieces, taking them shopping or shopping for them, and recently have been working with photographers and other businesses to style photo shoots! So many great things are in the work for next year and I am excited to see where this new business journey takes me!

What would you say to someone who wants to start their own business? I would 100% say that if it’s something that you are passion about then go ahead and take the leap! It’s so much better to take the plunge than to live the rest of your life thinking “What if?”. Starting your own business can be scary, I know for me I left the only career I knew to pursue my business and I knew I would most likely financially struggle the first year to get it up and running. There’s been some weeks that have been tougher than others but I’ve pushed through because I’ve made it this far and there’s so much more to come. I would also suggest taking the time to make a detailed business plan with a timeline of goals for yourself. Give yourself something to work towards and strive for!

You are very active in the local community. How has giving back impacted your life? What are some ways people can give back to their communities? This year I was asked to be a celebrity dancer in our local event called Dare to Dance and it was such an amazing and humbling experience! The event resembles the hit TV show Dancing with the Stars and all the contestants raise money for the local Kidney Foundation. I specifically was raising money for the Medical Equipment Program to help patients buy anything from eyeglasses to a wheelchair to blood pressure cuffs. I was able to actually meet some of the patients that received some of the money and it was a reminder that my “problems” were not nearly as bad as I thought. It made me thankful for where I am in life, even though sometimes I want to be so much further ahead. Also thankful for the opportunity to be able to give back to the community that opened their arms to me 4+ years ago when I first made the move to Chattanooga. There are many ways to give back to your community that are free and can make such an impact to someone in need. I would recommend getting online and searching local organizations in your area and see what volunteering opportunities there may be. Especially with it being the holiday season there are so many opportunities to help!

Who is your biggest inspiration and why? I would have to say my father. That man is an inspiration to so many people around him. He and my mother moved to the states in their very early 20’s knowing maybe 4 people in the city of Sun Valley, CA where I was born. He worked for 15+ years as a ranch manager on a cattle farm and saved up his money to buy his own 30 acre property to start his own farm. About 5 years ago he started his own construction company along with still running his farm. That man works sun up to sun down 6-7 days a week and never complains. He knows the true meaning of working hard to get to where you want in life and I look up to him for that. I strive to be as hard-working and wise as he is.

[olicitybishop-clairmont]

Arrow 7x13: Star City Slayer “Not-So-Live” Blog

Ugh. Another episode, another night where I had to work instead of being able to be home to watch Arrow.

Anywho, here we go!

Enjoy!

00:49 - "I am, once more, the Green Arrow."

Yay! Got our Oliver intros back!

3:20 - Horror movie villain this week, complete with a chilling opening.

3:35 - Sorry, William, no pancakes for you. Cause you’re in trouble.

4:20 - As much as I love seeing Will be a sulky teenager, the look on Oliver's face as his son gets mad is so heartbreaking.

5:16 - So do we know if Roy will be in the present time at all this season? Or will it only be in the flashforwards?

Also, I will never get tired of William being his techy nerd self.

6:10 - Even though it's not the Arrow Cave anymore after Diaz blew it up, the Arrow Cave is getting a lot of scenes this season.

7:25 - I am so beyond sick and tired of Curtis and his judginess.

16:00 - Flash shoutout! Hi Captain Singh! I forgot Dinah used to work at the CCPD before moving to Star City.

16:55 - "Your father is gonna make his famous chili tonight." 

Comics reference!

17:20 - Did anyone say whether or not felicity was the one to develop the Archer program? Maybe she took her home security system and expanded it?

18:25 - Mr. and Mrs. Clayton? Will's grandparents? That can’t be good.

22:05 - Excuse you, Grandpa, but Oliver was absent for most of William's life because YOUR DAUGHTER told him she lost their baby! It wasn't like he had a choice in the matter.

23:00 - "You're Connor Hawke. John Diggle's son."

So did JJ change his name to Connor or do John and Lyla have another kid down the road?

25:30 - This week's villain is all kinds of scary seeming.

25:58 - Seriously, though. The first rule is that you never split up.

27:45 - This episode is hitting all the hallmarks of a horror movie.

Scary music. Check

Dark and stormy night. Check.

Abandoned house where the power doesn't work. Check.

The group splits up. Check.

Weird monkey toy with symbols. Check.

Music box playing a creepy tune. Check.

A bloody bathroom. Check.

Evidence in the basement. Check.

30:10 - It's Stanley! Hi Stanley. You really are a creepy serial killer.

Dinah has the scar from this encounter on the flashforwards. I wonder if Curtis cauterizing her throat will have affected her Canary Cry.

34:06 - "We've all grown and changed a lot since you got out of Slabside. And I’ve been thinking that maybe you and I need to think more about what William needs."

"You mean to tell me that you honestly believe he would be better off away from us."

“I think that now that you're working with the SCPD and Team Arrow again that we don't exactly provide a life of normalcy and -"

"I just want to be a better father to him than my father was to me."

"You already are. By giving him the life that he deserves. Even if it breaks our hearts." 

This whole thing. Oliver wants nothing more than to have his son with him, finally, after being in prison. Felicity sees the turmoil her husband is in and is there for him when he needs her. 

34:50 - "Felicity's alive." 

35:40 - "What, did you guys date or something?"

"God, no! I'm gay and she's my mom!"

William called Felicity his mom! I hope we will get something like that in the present day timeline. Maybe when William comes and visits them on a holiday.

36:00 - Really cool flashforward fight scene. Great to see Roy fighting again.

37:50 - "It's delicious! In fact, I will have seconds if you will pass me some more please."

So according to the comics, Oliver Queen's famous chili is supposed to be the spiciest in the world, with only Batman able to eat it without crying. And now we know that Felicity loves it. 

Felicity is on par with Batman.

Not that that's news. 

Felicity's security system being contingent on the building's electricity not being out might be something she wants to fix so people don't keep getting into their apartment. Maybe put it on a separate generator?

42:26 - Oliver's eyebrows. 

46:50 - THAT WHOLE SCENE.

I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.

Stanley has done in less than one episode what Ricardo Diaz has not managed to do in multiple seasons. BE A DECENT VILLAIN.

49:47 - "I am gonna miss you, Curtis."

Digg, you are one of the very view who will miss him, because I certainly won't!

50:04 - "Rene already gave you up."

That seems to be a habit of his.

Wait. CURTIS IS LEAVING.

YES.

And Felicity gets Helix! Can we bring more of that into this season please?!

We got so few good father/son moments this season, and now William is leaving for his grandparents' place?

52:10 - William and Oliver together just gut me. Oliver wanted nothing more than to have his son with him, finally. But he knew that he had to do what was best for his son, regardless of how he felt. So he let William make the decision whether or not to stay with him.

52:32 - Felicity is such a mom.

53:15 - "You have a home with the two of us in Star City forever."

53:28 - FELICITY IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!

54:03 - Felicity has a daughter and her name is Mia Smoak. But why not Queen?

Why hasn’t he been mentioned?

When will The Mark of Four be created?

This week’s episode was awesome! 

An amazing villain with a nail biting climax scene. Brendan Fletcher did an amazing job as Stanley Dover. If only this season’s supposed “Big Villain” were as scary. 

Also, I hope Felicity lays into John when she finds out he’s working with Diaz. She deserves to be more than angry at the fact that the guy who has tried to kill her entire family is still breathing, let alone working for ARGUS.

[julianspancakes]

Malec Fic Recommendations ➸ 3

The fics listed below can be old or fairly new, so this has no timeline. Neither an order of preference. Some of them has serious warnings. Maybe you can give them a try if you think those things can’t trigger you.

Part 1         Part 2

Between The Lines by MsAlexisCriss

Summary :  Special Agent Alec Lightwood's been chasing Magnus Bane for 5 years. When a criminal from the past threatens their city and their reputations, the duo will have to team up to restore the peace in the city. Between secrets, betrayals, and heartbreaking truths, Alec & Magnus will have to learn to play between the lines of good & evil to carry out their mission. Will they succeed?

Age Is Just A Number by FaustusianSutcliff

Summary :  Magnus has three rules in life. No cheating. Always do your best. And no one under 18. And these rules work very well for him, until he meets Alec. A seventeen year home schooled student and younger brother of his friend Jace.

Jealousy is a disease (Get well soon) by Twykad

Summary :  Alec meet a fairy in a café, they grow close and Magnus doesn't like it one bit, and maybe he's right.

Hold Me Tight by Twykad 

Summary :  Life is tought and Alec's for sure never has been easy and when things seems to go up for him, they just crumbles down. And sometimes, despite a loving boyfriend and loving siblings, it just seems that there isn't enough light in his life anymore. And pain is eating him alive...

Fated. by OctoberDecember 

Summary : “Ugh. You smell like a claimed Omega.” Jace frowned, as he now covered his nose with his shirt. “That bartender must have just finished fucking his Alpha or something. Gross.”

Alec’s heart froze deep in his chest.

A claimed Omega?

Is that why Magnus didn’t want Alec to touch him?

Because he already belonged to someone else…

Alec’s pulse quickened as the true nature of his actions tonight finally sank into his bones.

If Magnus had already been claimed, then Alec had broken The Law.

The rules had been written long ago, centuries and centuries before Alec had been born—But he still knew every rule by heart.

And with the Downworlders and Shadowhunters already having enough contention within their various ranks, The Clave had decided to make one thing crystal clear:

Claimed Alphas—Claimed Betas—Claimed Omegas—Were thoroughly off-limits.

And violating such a law tended to come with dire consequences…

A Perfect Imperfection by Intoxic 

Summary :  In the Shadow World, dominated by the Alpha Shadowhunters, Alec has been keeping a secret for the past years. However, when the threat of Valentine's and the Circle looms in, Alec and his friends turn for help to the High Warlock and the most powerful Alpha among the Downworlders, Magnus Bane, who's been looking for his perfect mate as well.

Be My Escape by ArtemisFAYZ012 

Summary :  Alexander Lightwood is the son of wealthy aristocratic family, part of a social circle of high nobility and religion. But he is gay. And he hates his life of aristocracy. And throw in the fact that everyone age 18 gets a Soulmate mark of their perfect match; his life is all very dramatic. He wants to escape. And is Magnus Bane his only chance at doing just that?

Marked by NadiaInklover 

Summary :  Soulmates. The word sounded so strong, so definite, and so scary. Magnus had been thrilled to find the two small, but significant, letters tattooed on his wrist when he turned 16 years old. He had a soulmate...

Signs and Soulmarks by Someone aka Me 

Summary :  Alec has never spoken a word. He can't. In a world where soulmates are connected by Soulmarks that show the first words the other will say to them, he wonders what this means for his soulmate.

Slowly, Surely by Cheeky Slytherin Lass 

Summary :  Alec doesn't believe someone like him could have a soulmate. Magnus gave up on the idea of soulmates centuries ago. And yet, when Alec receives his soul journal, they are both proven wrong.

No matter how hard you try by tiny daydreamer 

Summary :  Soulmate au. The Indico is a ceremony where every twelve year old shadowhunter gets their soulmate's name on their wrist. Alec Lightwood is about to find out who his soulmate is and he couldn't be more terrified. But when he finds out, it doesn't get any better. Infact it gets worse. What good will the eldest Lightwood having a male downworlder as a soulmate do? Nothing.

Oh Pool Boy! by Lilymaid620 

Summary :  Alec Lightwood is the pool boy for the exclusive Alicante Circle. Rumors were constantly flying about which of the housewives was the lucky one doing the pool boy. Whoever was lucky enough to claim that honor would be the envy of all her neighbors. But who was the lucky one who was doing the pool boy? Malec AU oneshot full of desperate horny women hitting on Alec.

I'll Love You Long After You're Gone by LifeInAColorWheel 

Summary :  Alec did it every night. Every morning. After every shower. Each birthday. Checking for grey hairs and new lines on his face to verify his fear that one day, he would no longer be young. And Magnus didn’t know if he could handle that.

Afraid of losing you by katychan666 

Summary :  On a mission, Alec gets seriously injured. Magnus, for the fist time faced with reality and possibility of losing Alec, does everything in his power to save him.

I love you, Magnus Bane by theriverstyx 

Summary :  Alec was walking to Magnus's loft when he spotted demons in an alleyway. Being the shadowhunter he is, he thought it was his responsibility to take care of the situation. 'Get in, kill the demons, get out, go see Magnus' simple right?

Not Tall, Dark and Handsome by addict_writer 

Summary :  "I don't know what we would have done if Magnus hadn't showed up and magicked Alec back to health."

Colours- Blue by ComatoseSkyy 

Summary : “Let’s break up.” Magnus froze while he was taking his car keys out of his pocket. He had not expected that, ever, in their happy 4 months of dating. In fact, Magnus thought they were both happy as ever they could be.

“What did you say?” Magnus asked again in terror and disbelief.

“I.. I said let’s break up.” Alec looked annoyed and angry with his stiffed face.

A Non-Shadowhunter Modern Human AU with soft romance and drama I guess?

Panicked by Marber312 

Summary :  Alec gets badly injured on a mission, so bad Magnus isn't sure he can save him in time.

Hearing his own child cry without being able to comfort him only increases the rising panic.

Will he find a way to save Alec in time?

Fate by thelosthours 

Summary :  "So I'm your first ever Shadowhunter, huh?" Alec said when they separated at last."You're my first so many things, Alec Lightwood," Magnus said.

Save me by NiennorNight (Niennor_Night) 

Summary :  Alec's POV on his injury caused by Abaddon, when Magnus comes to the Institute to heal him at the end of City of Bones. Short Malec One-shot. [Loosely based on Alec's words on "Kissed"]

[fcldspar]

Can you imagine an au where Tweek x Craig never happened and Tweek had to realize he was gay on his own. It makes my heart hurt because I think he'd feel a little broken up about it. He lives in this redneck town and already has this obvious mental illness on his shoulders and now he's gay too?? Feels sad man. I'm so glad that things are going great for him in canon.

well fuck me

this is such a good point though cus at least in tweek x craig he was able to realise he’s gay in an environment where everyone supported him being gay due to the yaoi buzz, but imagine if he’d known before: if he’d realised at any previous point he would have assumed that the entire town would have ostracised him, which tbf probably could have happened to some degree or another, considering that even in the canon timeline there are still some relatively homophobic attitudes or comments post-tweek-x-craig despite everyone outwardly seeming supportive (like cartman calling ninjas gay in a derogatory way, and tweek’s parents caring about his relationship with craig for the money and attention rather than tweek’s happiness), so imagine what would have happened if there had been no yaoi to warm people up to the idea of it

some people suggest that his anxiety might have made him too prone to distraction to pay attention to whom he felt attracted to, but i still feel like it’s something that his hyperactive mind would have caught onto eventually, even if just the little things at first, such as realising that he just doesn’t get the hype in stuff like playboy magazines, or realising that there are certain guys he feels drawn to in a way that feels different to how he feels drawn to his friends (which was how in the long run *i* realised i’m not straight), and once he started noticing these things it would have been all over for him

considering the topic of homosexuality is quite prevalent in that town (but mostly in the sense that people look down on it even if they won’t always admit to it) once he started suspecting it the worry would have eaten away at him on the inside. he may have been in a constant state of equal denial and “what if”s, or he may have accepted that he is gay but still hated himself for it and feared for his safety, but either way it would have been a horrifying and terrifying time for him if tweek x craig hadn’t happened and he’d realised “hey, people don’t actually mind too much”

(it’s more than fair to say that the town supported it for the wrong reasons at first, e.g. wanting to have gay kids to appear more progressive to the wider world and media, and fetishisation with the whole sometimes-smutty-yaoi-of-two-ten-year-olds thing, but hey, it helped both tweek and craig come to terms with it all in a *relatively* angst-free way (i mean there defo was angst in that episode but it was short-term compared to what could have happened) and they came out the other end in a blooming and willing relationship, so in this case i have no complaints)

tl;dr yup, it would have been hell for him once he’d caught on (and for craig too with his own potential self-suspicions), it would have been the literal dark timeline, so we should be eternally thankful that this timeline is the one where not only do they realise they’re gay in an overall accepting environment (comparatively speaking), but they are able to accept that they like each other and be a happy healthy couple based on that (i can tell you first-hand that it takes another level of courage to actually act on new sexuality-based revelations, it’s fucking scary man)

[hawkinstrashmouth-blog]

Sleepless Nights (Reddie)

Sorry if this sucked, it was my first time writing something like this. I tried. 

Eddie can’t sleep and he get’s a visit from Richie in the middle of the night.

Warnings: Kissing and a little grinding (USE OF LANGUAGE SOME MAY FIND OFFENSIVE OR TRIGGERING, SUCH AS HOMOPHOBIC SLURS) 

The characters in this story are aged up to 15/16. The timeline is a little messed up but, nonetheless I hope you enjoy. :)

Word count: 1,870 

Parts: 1/1

 Eddie was tired. You could see the bags hanging under his hazel eyes like something was pulling his skin down. It’s not like Eddie had not tried to get sleep. Oh, he tried to get sleep. He tussled and turned but his mind wouldn’t oblige to the sleep he was oh so desperate for. He sat up in his dark room and let out a long huff. He no idea why his thoughts went so wild. Eddie had tried so hard every single night the past week to get rest. He really, did. But, there was one thing on his mind that stayed and wouldn’t disperse no matter how many times he tried. It. All hell was in his mind sense he and his friends had last been in that creepy house with that god-awful thing. He knew it was gone but there was no stopping this imagination from playing games.

Just as Eddie was feeling himself drift off for once- Tap- Tap- Tap. The poor restless boy’s head shot toward the small window by his bed. No, it couldn’t be. Eddie’s mind was running like a train and oh, that train was going to go off its tracks. Tap- Tap- Tap. The small boy shivered and let out a tiny whimper. It’s probably nothing he told himself endlessly. With a burst of sudden bravery, he walked to his window and peered outside. His heart practically in his throat he glanced down he saw something a lot less scary then he thought he was going to. Richie god dammit. The boy felt an enormous amount of relief spread across his body.

The other boy on the other side of the window wasn’t even glancing at him. He was looking at the ground for more rocks to throw at the others window. Richie’s head shot up to the window when he heard Eddie unlatch it and pull it open. “What the fuck are you doing?” Eddie thought aloud and Richie just lent his friend a small smile and climbed up the tree next to Eddie’s window. He struggled a little but he got to the top successfully. “Hey, Eddie Spaghetti.” The boy replied. Eddie didn’t even have the energy to reply. He just grabbed the other boy’s hand and pulled him back through the window. Eddie was too broken down and warn out to tell the boy to go home. He had been too sleep deprived for that.

The boy took the silence as an open invitation to say more. “You look like shit, Eddie.” He said while sitting on Eddie’s bed like he had done it so many times. And he had, they were the closest friends and had been sense they were just in Kindergarten. Eddie had maybe even had a tiny crush on him, but he wouldn’t ever admit that out loud. And by tiny, he may have meant huge. There were two reasons the boy wouldn’t ever admit how he felt. One, Derry was full of homophobes and people that would kill for what they believed of those who were gay. Two, Richie is straight and would probably never talk to him ever again if his feelings were released into the air.

He figured out his crush for the boy a long time ago when Beverly pointed out the constant flirting and lovey dovely stares between the two of them. It felt as though it was only yesterday. “Eddie? You there?” His head shot to the side to see a very confused and concerned Richie. “Huh?” Was all he could muster up. Richie knew something was up. He was never like this. This was not the normal Eddie. And Richie was positive he knew everything about Eddie. And he of course did. Well except maybe one tiny detail that was important, Eddie had a big, fat crush on him. But one thing neither were aware of, is that the feelings were completely mutual. Richie was just as love struck as the asthmatic boy, for the asthmatic boy.

Richie got up from the bed and did the only thing he could think to do. He hugged him. Suddenly Eddie felt wide awake. Regardless of everything, Eddie hugged back like his life depended on it. He felt so many emotions at once that he couldn’t explain. He felt love for the losers and Richie, he felt fatigue for all these restless nights he had experienced, and regardless of defeating It, he felt fear for it and the possibility of it coming back. Before he could stop it there were tears streaming down Eddie’s face. One glance at Eddie and suddenly Richie could feel steaming hot tears coming from his eyes as well.

The two just held each other and hoped they would never leave each others arms. As if right on que Richie pulled away and stared back at the boy. “If you ever tell anyone that we just did that you’ll be dead, eds.” The boy laughed at himself as he said it. He knew Eddie wouldn’t say anything. They could trust each other. By this point they both felt as though they were both all they had. “Don’t call me that.” Eddie paused for a second as though he was thinking about what to say next. “So not to sound rude or anything but why are you here?” Eddie asked in pure curiosity. “Isn’t it obvious Ed’s, you’re not the only one who experiences the whole show down.” He paused to breathe. “I can’t sleep either; I knew you would be the only one to understand how I felt. I felt as though I needed to see you.” The boy muttered the words out to him.

Eddie just slightly nodded and made his way to his bed. No words were exchanged after that. None needed to be. Eddie thought maybe this was the time to tell the other boy how he felt, but he was a coward. He was his best friend he knew he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk losing his best friend. After all Eddie thought Richie was straight and would never, ever feel equivalent to him. Richie was not queer, at least that’s what Eddie had thought. Right now, it was not important to him, thought the boy. He pushed thoughts of confessing his love to him to the back of his mind. He just wanted to enjoy what they had, live in the moment with Richie. The rest could wait for now.

Richie crawled in the bed with him and didn’t even think twice and Richie cuddled up, spooning Eddie in bed. Eddie began to feel tired and just as he was about to fall into a deep slumber for the first time in the past week, he swears he heard Richie whisper something in Eddie’s ear. Surely he heard it wrong. “I love you.” And like magic, they both drifted off to sleep.

Eddie woke up to something poking his side. His eyes just barley fluttered open to feel something up against him. Someone. Everything from the night before was suddenly coming back to him like an avalanche. He felt his heart flutter and his checks went bright red like a fire truck. Richie Tozier was cuddled up with him. Eddie loved it, though he would never tell Richie or anyone else. But what in the world was poking his side- oh god. Eddies face went even more red if possible. The Richie Tozier had a hard on while cuddling with him.

Eddie and Richie had slept in the same bed multiple times. That was nothing new, but cuddling, that was different. That was gay. If anyone in Derry had seen this it would be the end of them. People would be disgusted. His mom would be disgusted. Everyone would probably call them faggots and disown them. They were already freaks as it was. Eddie didn’t know what to do. He wanted to stay in bed forever, and cherish this. He never wanted to leave this spot, this bed. He never wanted to leave Richie. The thoughts of being gay and the town left his mind when he realized he needed to get up. “Eddie! Sweetie! Get up, it’s time to take your morning shower!” Ms. Kasprak called almost at perfect timing. Just as the words left her mouth Richie was practically jumping out of bed. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” Richie face was red with embarrassment, probably from getting a hard on while cuddling with his best friend.

Ms. Kasprak was coming up the stairs and Eddie knew he’d be in deep shit if she came in here and saw Richie in his room. Richie gave Eddie and panicked look as he practically shoved Richie in his closet. Just as he was shutting the closet door she opened his. “Good morning mommy!” Eddie said with a hopeful look. He was praying she didn’t know what was going on here. “Eddie, I said go take your morning shower.” His mother left, closed his door and he sighed in defeat. After the door was closed, Eddie sat on his bed. Richie. He opened his closet door to find something that really, stuck him into panic mode. Richie was sitting on his closet floor reading his diary.

Eddie had kept all his deepest darkest secrets in there, everything. But the most important secret he kept in that torn up book was his feelings for the boy with the coke classes, his best friend, Richie. Eddie gasping, grabbed the book from Richie’s larger hands and backed away. Richie’s face was filled with pure amusement. Fuck. Eddie felt as though he was going to have an asthma attack. He couldn’t breathe. He friend was never going to talk to him again. He was going to make fun of him and just call him a faggot. Fuck. That was all Eddie could think, his mind was clouded with fear and terrifying thoughts.

That book was his personal out let. He talked about how in love he was with Richie and what he wanted to do to Richie. How he wanted to kiss him and well, do a lot more then just kissing. Personal stuff. Before he would think about anything else Richie was in front of his face. “Hey, Ed’s calm down. It’s okay. Just breathe.” Eddie’s breathing began to even out again. He looked at Richie and he didn’t look disgusted, he looked happy? “Don’t call me Ed’s.” was all Eddie would say before Richie pulled Eddie’s face to his. Cupping his cheek, he molded their lips together.

Eddie was in pure shock but never the less relaxed into the kiss. Their lips worked against each other’s. Breathing was heavy and Richie pushed him backwards, onto the bed. Richie laid on top of him and slipped his tongue into his mouth. Richie had wanted to do this for so long. Everything felt so right for both. Eddie moaned and the boy on top of him grinded his hips into him. Both pulled away for air. “Wow, I’ve always wanted to do that.” Richie spoke at last. “You and me both.” Was all that Eddie replied before connecting their lips for the second time.

[bookshelfpassageway]

So I just wrapped up the last of watching my family’s canonical Rankin-Bass specials, and I keep thinking about what kind of Dark Timeline a bad modern Rudolph remake might look like...

Animation is more fluid, but preeeeeeetty uninspired.

Annoying recurring animal shenanigans. Either one or two that’s the world’s most useless comic relief, or a straight-up minions knockoff.

Celebrity voice cast. Cumberbatch plays someone, maybe Santa or the Bumble. The snowman narrator is less of “your grandpa” and probably some heartthrob young actor and/or somebody named Chris.

Clarice is the Cool Action Girl who is Cool and Empowered because She Likes Boy Stuff like Action and She Has Purple Hair. She gets a few karate kicks in on the Bumble, but needs rescued anyway. She’s gonna Pull The Sleigh Someday, and goes through Character Development by giving up her spot to let Rudolph save the day.

Hermie is played up to be as Gay as possible, but only gets any kind of follow-through on that for like .8 seconds in the finale where he maybe like, gets hit on by that tall nerdy elf and then blushes. This causes a massive parental controversy/boycott and about 3 years worth of Discourse.

(the Tall Nerdy Elf has a high probability of being voiced by Stephen Merchant)

Yukon is probably exactly the same? Except the whip and the pistol are censored out. There’s also Discourse about him, despite his probably being the one comedic saving grace of the remake from being the biggest ham imaginable.

We spend more time with the young reindeer, wherein we get Crazy Shenanigans of Kids trying to be Cool and Getting Into Trouble. 100% there is a scene where they crash through a window with the stolen sleigh and wreck the workshop.

Also there’s a love triangle with Fireball, who’s a real Tool that gets some kind of humiliating comeuppance in the end.

Reindeer Shipping Discourse

The Abominable gets a Tragic Backstory

And while he’s animated better he will somehow manage to be significantly less scary than his stop-motion counterpart

“There’s Always Tomorrow” is already the longest damn song of my childhood, but a remake would somehow make it even more boring. Also a terribly mediocre cover of it is done in the credits and stuck on the soundtrack release.

The Nostalgia Critic proceeds to give the whole thing the what-for. It kills his soul just a tiny bit more.