putevayascandi

[bluepoodle7]

#Kroger #HomeChef #KrogerHomeChefPepperoniAndMozzarellaFlatbreadPizza #FrozenPizzaReview

This is part 2 of the Kroger Home Chef Pepperoni And Mozzarella Flatbread Pizza and these are more images.

Part 1

#Kroger #HomeChef #KrogerHomeChefPepperoniAndMozzarellaFlatbreadPizza #FrozenPizzaReview I tried the Kroger Home Chef Pepperoni... – @bluepoodle7 on Tumblr

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 11: Angst In My Pants (The Decline And Fall Of Me)

Album two of two in the series of Sparks' immaculate new wave releases! Iconic in every way imaginable from the music to the artwork to ONE music video. I think it's more musically (and lyrically!) varied and mature in tone (besides... a couple exceptions. Yes, an album called Angst In My Pants) than its predecessor, which is a very good development. These songs will leave you chuckling and bopping along and also pondering the intricacies of human existence. Ok, maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but it can't be denied that behind much of the earnestness and theatricality here, there's lots of quite emotional, introspective and thought-provoking stuff to be found.

Thematically, this album goes everywhere. One moment we are in Sextown U.S.A, the next we're visiting Disneyland, California where we make friends among people and animals. On a more serious note though, I think the biggest emotional whiplash one could experience between different songs on an album is between Mickey Mouse and Sherlock Holmes. And yet there's still a very prominent element of humour, even in those songs that are on the more serious or dramatic end of the scale.

I said a few days ago that I'd try to return to the topic of Sparks' brand of humour and how it works, but I don't feel intelligent enough to analyse that today. And I'm pretty sure that from what I've seen, Other People And The Maels Themselves (Said It Better Than Me). So instead, as a little send-off, please remember: if a mouse can be special, well, SO CAN YOU!!! 🫵

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Angst In My Pants: literally no other song like this one in this world. I can't tell why that is but it's just. So great

I Predict: I had a weird kind of effect where I heard this song in my early days of Sparking and it felt VEEERY familiar to me. I think it was due to the genre / style here, it reminded me of something specific, at first I thought it was very glam rock but I'm pretty sure that this is not it but something else (and I don't know what to call it in that case!). Anyway, banger song

Tarzan And Jane: whoa wait, am I already skipping to the third-to-last song on the tracklist?? I guess I am. This one's great and one of my early favs too (I wonder how long it will take until I run out of things to say about my fav songs and it all just becomes this list of 'it's very good and I like it a lot. next.')

The Decline And Fall Of Me: it's great!! I like it!! And, of course, "check out my pizzas"

Eaten By The Monster Of Love: personal reasons that lead to a printed and framed mini-comic of my making appearing on my desk, which features some of the lyrics of this song, which caused me to have it permanently stuck in my head for a pretty long period of time. And this way I ended up liking it much much more than I did in the beginning, when it still seemed somehow pretty unremarkable to me

[h--hannah--h]

In Community Shirley says how she found Leonard's youtube channel and comments "whats the point of reviewing frozen pizza."

actually reviewing frozen pizza is great, shirley, and leonard is 100% correct to do so.

personally my favorite frozen pizza is Red Baron Brick Oven Cheese Trio

Why is this pizza superior, you may ask?

First off, the crust. Out of most of the frozen pizzas I have tried this one is the most bread like (traditional pizza crust is a type of bread, usually high moisture and cooked on high heat). The outer crust of the pizza crust is nice and crunchy, and the inside is chewy but not hard to eat

Second, the sauce is a pretty simple red sauce as far as I can tell, which is optimal for a pizza in my opinion. Simple tomato sauce with herbs is best

The cheese they use is great. Mostly mozzarella with parmesan and provolone, a really great cheese blend for cheese pizza

Theres also herbs on top of the cheese as a garnish. It makes it feel fancy, I like that

Honestly a 10/10 frozen pizza. This is what other frozen pizzas should aspire for

I anyone wants me to review a different frozen pizza feel free to submit to my asks. Please keep in mind that I may be harsh (especially if its overly gimmicky like DiGiorno's pizzas, what the hell is wrong with those people). Also I will only review cheese pizza because im vegetarian and dont like vegetables on pizza (the texture makes my brain scream)

[scribblinaway]

wow ok i am now squarely in the target demographic for Chatelaine Magazine but their content is so great i'm not even mad about it, is this what it feels like to know middle age is fast encroaching?

[cillixn]

Paul Dano looks like the kind of guy that would hang out/vibe with Jerma985

i’m fucking cackling dgskshs ??????????? i mean i guess???? they’re both nerdy 40 year old white men with weirdly chaotic energies and strange fanbases so ???? yeah

[beeapocalypse]

i live my life surrounded by plastic luxury. millennia old dinosaur goo turned to slick turned this pointless fucking tin holding my pointless fucking art. millions dying and i sit at my computer crying about nothing

READ THIS ARTICLE

[reviews-0f-things]

Screamin' Sicilian reg. Size frozen pizza

It's a tasty one with loads of pepperoni which has a little kick to it. Decent crust & cheese but the pepperoni is clearly the highlight. Kinda pricey, but I'd get it again.

Screamin' Sicilian Calzone single serve

Stuffed with that spicy pepperoni, pizza sauce and mozzarella and provolone cheese, this was a surprisingly tasty Calzone. The provolone adds a little chew and heft and the pastry is quite good. I'd get it again.

Screamin' Sicilian "I'm Single" single serving size pizza

Featuring sliced and cubed pepperoni on a kind of flatbread with mostly mozzarella cheese (apparently there's some Romano cheese as well). Neither the sliced nor cubed pepperoni have much flavour, despite having a fair amount of each. The cheese has no flavour, and the flatbread is dense and flavourless. What pizza sauce there is (which isn't much) don't help. All around disappointing. One of the worst single serve pizza offerings out there. Boo.

[castwavestudios]

On this ooze-filled episode of Two Fat Guys Eat, we dive deep into our nostalgia and try the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem" tie-in pizzas! We discuss our love for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, their weird items from the late 80's/early 90's (can you say green vanilla pudding pies from Hostess?) and where does this particular brand of pizza falls on the frozen food scale of edibility?

Even though this episode is not sponsored by Nickelodeon or any company under the AMPTP, we would ask that with the ongoing Writers Guild of America, East and SAG-AFTRA strikes, we hope you will donate to either the Entertainment Community Fund and/or share the strike sites for both the WGA and SAG-AFTRA on social media to help their cause.

Listen to the episode on Spotify!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts!

Listen to the episode on YouTube!

[moonlightvintage92]

Palermo's Philly Steak Pizza Review

This pizza is absolutely delicious. The sauce is white sauce which is full of flavor. The cheese is also good, but it doesn’t hurt to add extra mozzarella. The toppings were a little disappointing, there wasn’t enough steak and peppers for the pizza. I give this pizza 4 out of 5 stars ✩✩✩✩

[feminist-space]

"Now, already experiencing the clawing pangs of contractions, she pulled out a frozen pizza and a salad with creamy everything dressing, savoring the hush that fell over the house, the satisfying crunch of the poppy seeds as she ate.

Horton didn’t realize that she would be drug tested before her child’s birth. Or that the poppy seeds in her salad could trigger a positive result on a urine drug screen, the quick test that hospitals often use to check pregnant patients for illicit drugs.

Many common foods and medications — from antacids to blood pressure and cold medicines — can prompt erroneous results.

The morning after Horton delivered her daughter, a nurse told her she had tested positive for opiates. Horton was shocked. She hadn’t requested an epidural or any narcotic pain medication during labor — she didn’t even like taking Advil. “You’re sure it was mine?” she asked the nurse.

If Horton had been tested under different circumstances — for example, if she was a government employee and required to be tested as part of her job — she would have been entitled to a more advanced test and to a review from a specially trained doctor to confirm the initial result.

But as a mother giving birth, Horton had no such protections. The hospital quickly reported her to child welfare, and the next day, a social worker arrived to take baby Halle into protective custody.

...

To report this story, The Marshall Project interviewed dozens of patients, medical providers, toxicologists and other experts, and collected information on more than 50 mothers in 22 states who faced reports and investigations over positive drug tests that were likely wrong. We also pored over thousands of pages of policy documents from every state child welfare agency in the country.

Problems with drug screens are well known, especially in workplace testing. But there’s been little investigation of how easily false positives can occur inside labor and delivery units, and how quickly families can get trapped inside a system of surveillance and punishment.

Hospitals reported women for positive drug tests after they ate everything bagels and lemon poppy seed muffins, or used medications including the acid reducer Zantac, the antidepressant Zoloft and labetalol, one of the most commonly prescribed blood pressure treatments for pregnant women.

After a California mother had a false positive for meth and PCP, authorities took her newborn, then dispatched two sheriff’s deputies to also remove her toddler from her custody, court records show. In New York, hospital administrators refused to retract a child welfare report based on a false positive result, and instead offered the mother counseling for her trauma, according to a recording of the conversation. And when a Pennsylvania woman tested positive for opioids after eating pasta salad, the hearing officer in her case yelled at her to “buck up, get a backbone, and stop crying,” court records show. It took three months to get her newborn back from foster care.

Federal officials have known for decades that urine screens are not reliable. Poppy seeds — which come from the same plant used to make heroin — are so notorious for causing positives for opiates that last year the Department of Defense directed service members to stop eating them. At hospitals, test results often come with warnings about false positives and direct clinicians to confirm the findings with more definitive tests.

Yet state policies and many hospitals tend to treat drug screens as unassailable evidence of illicit use, The Marshall Project found. Hospitals across the country routinely report cases to authorities without ordering confirmation tests or waiting to receive the results."

Read the full piece here: https://www.themarshallproject.org/2024/09/09/drug-test-pregnancy-pennsylvania-california

[beefrobeefcal]

It's time for the first beefSurprise!

This is a fun activity for me to truly connect me to my muse. And y'all here in the Bistro get to help me! See under the cut for funzies.

Yours in blessed sin,

Beefro👌🥩💜

I wanted to honor the man who has inspred us all in this community to write filth, think filth, be filth... and what better way to do that than by reviewing his favourite frozen pizza? Comments, discourse and opinions are welcome!

in case you missed it or forgot, see below:

[bluepoodle7]

#Kroger #HomeChef #KrogerHomeChefBreakfastFlatbreadPizza #FrozenPizzaReview

I tried the Kroger Home Chef Breakfast Flatbread Pizza and it was pretty good.

This pizza was convection ovened and later microwaved.

The flatbread was firm and soft in texture.

This breakfast flatbread pizza was airy and light while not heavy doughy tasting.

The cheddar cheese was melted and had a sharp cheddar cheese taste.

When I tasted this flatbread pizza I didn't taste any sauce but the melted cheddar cheese acted like a sauce.

The scrabbled eggs had a light eggy taste that wasn't seasoned but seems the sausage bits with the cheddar cheese and bacon bits helped seasoned the egg pieces.

The sausage was firm and chewy while also well seasoned.

The bacon bits were lightly smoky in taste and crunchy in texture.

This breakfast flatbread pizza was lightly salty.

I would eat this again.

Got at the Kroger refrigeration area with other pizza's, flatbread pizzas, and calzone.

[anopenbookunderlockandkey]

The 118 Sauce Chat

Eddie: I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I’m not going to stop

Chim: please elaborate on the wrong way to make spaghetti sauce; it sounds highly entertaining?

Eddie: 1 chop onion and put in a pot

Eddie: Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.

Eddie: Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.

Eddie: Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon I’ll ad that too. But I very rarely have bacon.

Eddie: Cook on HIGH

Eddie: While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. Buck reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)

Eddie: If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green

Eddie: Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese

Eddie: Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to text the group chat about spaghetti sauce, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.

Chim: I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.

I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).

I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".

Chim: Except in this case

Bobby: This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule

Hen: Why? The spices.

Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts

Eddie: *sends SPICE IS SPICE meme*

Ravi: absolutely deranged, Eddie. Food crimes.

Bobby: Hey Eddie, looks like you forgot to mention the part where you obviously sweated the onions, because nobody would make spaghetti sauce that had straight up raw onions boiled in tomato juices.

Bobby: RIGHT????

Bobby: Please Eddie

Eddie: I don’t know what sweating the onions means

Hen: It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first

Eddie: A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

Hen: I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

Eddie: Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

Ravi: Eddie, who hurt you???

Eddie: A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

Chim: Theres probably a hit out on you for this

Eddie: What kind of stupid idiot would waste money assassinating someone who's so clearly going to accidentally poison themself for free at some point

Bobby: hi Eddie, big fan of your firefighting, this is the sauce equivalent of the running up a metal ladder in a lightning storm to try to pull up a 6’0” tall man instead of lowering him to the ground

-Athena

Eddie: Athena, that is the meanest review my cooking has ever received

Chim: congratulations you found the worst way to do it! this feels like a spaghetti recipe made by AI before it got really sophisticated

-Maddie

Eddie: this group chat’s hate mail game is insane

Ravi: at this point please just eat every ingredient raw… please

Eddie: Do I look like Tony Abbott to you

Buck: As a former Committer of Food Crimes, I have decided to make this sauce this weekend after I have a chance to go to the store. I will report back.

Eddie: Excellent, I look forward to vindication.

Hen: No one's going to vindicate your boiled onion in cinnamonny tomato juice on noodles, Eddie

Eddie: Not cinnamon. Cinnamon is a dessert spice. You use the nearest non-dessert spice.

Ravi: cinnamon is absolutely not a dessert spice

Eddie: Yes it is! It's for muffins and pancakes and fruit pies!

Chim: Cinnamon powder is absolutely a dessert “spice” and Eddie if your cooking is this bad I can’t imagine your baked abominations

Eddie: I put lemon juice in everything I bake that isn't bread

Written for the only two gremlins (endearment) who find this as entertaining as I do @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing

Inspired by:

[everythingbutresolved]

The Bear, third installment: a review

The Season at a first sight is purposely underachieving, spiralling in neverending dialogues and spoon fed acrimony. Fortunately, the writers played a terrific card with the last episode, which is The Last Supper of a remarkable show for many reasons already. Overlapping the anxious wait for the restaurant's first review with "Sidney's Choice" and letting them cook until their simmering finale was a stroke of genius. And the Funeral Party! The gravitational force of people attracting and circling each other - the laugh, the relief of friendly faces, the life in those scenes!

Being a person who has suffered, years ago, from panic attacks, I remember to the last detail the doors breaking open in your mind when the shouting becomes too much. I'm very sorry they had to push Syd to this point, and I hope the decision was supported by an actual progression of the story in the next (hopefully last) season.

Now I need to go eat some frozen pizza.

[dreamersbcll]

Could you write a fic where Sam and Tara seem finally happy, they’ve just finished up their meal at a pizza place that is just a lil bit too cheap to not raise an eyebrow and are now walking home to their apartment before they get bombarded by conspiracy theorists. They go to hassle Sam aggressively shoving her and interrogating her before Tara charges at the theorist, knocking them over and pummelling their face with punches. This protection doesn’t come free,though as the theorists grab Tara and beat her up while same is unable to help. Sam’s guilt would drive her crazy after this

“Loomis”-

————————————————-

“You know, for someplace that only had two stars on Yelp, that hit!”

Sam threw her head back and laughed, pulling her sister in for a side hug. The pair had just finished eating at Guido’s Pizzeria, a family restaurant down the block from their new place. Tara had begged to try it, even though the Yelp reviews were dismal. So they did.

Kissing the side of Tara's head, Sam sighed. “You know, it wasn’t half-bad. The tomato sauce was a little sweet for my taste, but I’d try it again,”.

Tara hummed. “The garlic bread was good. I love garlic bread,”.

“I know you do, my love. I know you do,”.

Sam was so busy fussing with Tara's jacket that she didn’t notice the crowd of men approaching them.

That was her first mistake.

“Oh boys, look what we have here. The killer of Woodsboro!” crowed the ringleader, a shit-eating grin on his face.

Sam moved Tara behind her, eyeing the men forming a circle around her. The two sisters both had tasers and knives on them, but six full-grown men were surrounding them. They would have to be smart about this.

“I think you’ve heard wrong. I’m no such thing,” she carefully said, watching as one of the men started cracking his knuckles.

The ringleader laughed again, a cold, calculated laugh. Tara gripped her wrist harder, her hands shaking. Sam stood straighter, one hand in her coat pocket, grasping the knife hiding there.

He quickly got up in Sam’s face, grinning wider at how both sisters flinched. “No, I think I’m right. You’re the bitch who murdered all those people. And enjoyed it. You’re bold to walk around this city, Sam, the murderer,”.

She bristled, eyes darkening. “I’m not my father. But if you ask nicely, I’m sure I can do a good impersonation of his work. Now back up before I make you,” she growled.

Grinning, he got nose-to-nose with Sam. “I’d like to see you try, Loomis,.”

Her second mistake was not punching him first.

Instead, chaos erupted. Within a blink of an eye, Tara jumped on the guy, screaming that she was not like her father, and pummeled him with a barrage of punches. The other guys, along with Sam, were frozen in shock, watching the man get beat up by a five-foot girl.

Her third mistake was not reacting first.

As she reached down to pull Tara off the guy, the other boys regained their confidence quicker. Two guys yanked Sam up, forcing her to her knees, her arms behind her back. The other three easily plucked Tara off their ringleader, holding her up in the air by her armpits.

The ringleader got up, wiping blood off his nose. He pointed at Sam, and she smiled at the damage Tara had done, despite the fear running through her.

“I’m surprised you let your sister hit first. Maybe you’re not your father's daughter,”.

Tara squirmed in their grip, trying to get free. The ringleader smiled a cold, bone-chilling smile. Before he spoke, Sam connected the dots on what would go down.

“But somebody has to pay for the deaths in Woodsboro. And your sister will be our penance,”.

With that, he advanced on Tara, despite Sam’s pleas and Tara's squirming. Reaching into Tara's jacket pocket, he pulled out the pocketknife.

He waved the knife in Tara's face, smirking at her eyes widened with fear. “Aw. You were gonna use this on me, weren’t you? I wish you did. It would’ve made what would happen next more fun,”.

And with that, he punched Tara in the gut, and Sam let out a scream she never knew she could make.

She doesn’t remember much after that. For every two punches they threw at Tara, one was thrown at Sam. Eventually, she lost track, and Tara stopped crying out.

They gave up after a while, throwing down Sam and letting Tara's limp body hit the ground.

Fighting the urge to black out, Sam reached out for her baby sister. Tara was covered in blood, bruising blossoming over her closed eyes. She wasn’t moving, yet Sam could tell she was still faintly breathing.

The whole image of her sister tore Sam apart. It was yet again another bloodbath she could’ve stopped.

But what made Sam’s breath catch in her throat were the words that were scratched onto her sister’s arm.

Sam Loomis

—-

Sam doesn’t remember getting to the hospital. It was all so sudden.

Flashing lights, questions, and people strapping her down into a gurney.

“I need to see my sister. I need to be by her,” she gasped, wincing as the paramedic stuck a needle in her arm.

The paramedic gently pushed her down again, silencing her. “She’s in the other vehicle. I need you to lay down, Ms. Loomis,”.

She jerked back up, crying out at the pain in her ribs. “It’s not fucking Loomis. I’m Sam, Sam Carpenter!” she spat out.

“Okay, I’m sorry, Ms. Carpenter. My mistake. It was just written on your sister’s arm, that’s all,”.

Laying back, Sam felt woozy. The medication was hitting. Was that a sedative? She hasn’t been sedated in so long. Where was Tara? She should be here.

“Loomis,” she mumbled, drifting off into a drugged sleep for the rest of the ride.

——

“Listen, if you don’t let me see my fucking sister right now, I’ll add more bodies to my list. I swear to god!”

The nurse pushed Sam back down into the bed. “I told you, I’m not afraid to restrain you. Your sister is in the ICU recovering from surgery. No guests right now. Now sit!” she said crossly.

Sam threw her hands back in exasperation. “I’m already stuck in this fucking bed. I want to see her, please!”

She wasn’t above begging anymore. She was stuck in a hospital with her ribs wrapped in gauze and stitches above her eye- and heavily medicated. It wasn’t like she was going anywhere else besides her sister’s side.

“No, Sam. I’m sorry. Maybe later,” the nurse sympathetically said, closing the door softly behind her.

Groaning, Sam laid her head back against the bed. She fucked up. She fucked up tremendously. Once again, due to her lack of awareness, she had gotten the sisters into a perilous situation.

And once again, Tara was hospitalized.

It was as if Sam was incapable of being a protector. She is incapable of taking care of someone that depended on her.

Sam knew deep down that those men were right. She was a killer. She took after her father. She knew all that, and she knew it well.

But she always took pride in how much she loved Tara. How Sam could anticipate her needs, calm her fears, and make Tara feel loved. She knew she could provide that stable love and home Tara craved and deserved.

Yet again, Sam repeatedly proves to the world that she’s a complete and total fuck-up. Unable to take care of the one person who truly matters. She was a failure in all accounts of the world.

She kept her eyes closed and breathed slowly. Deep down, she knew that if she looked into her reflection, she would see Billy.

And he would smile back at her, thanking her for following in his footsteps.

Sam Loomis.

[chansaw]

i’m starting a review series of gluten-free frozen pizzas, because i’ve been trying a lot of different brands lately and want to log my findings.

first up: freschetta’s four cheese pizza!

instructions said to cook for 10-13 minutes, and i know my oven is on the more powerful side so i went with 10 but it still came out a little overly crispy… not a bad thing at all, especially when it comes to gluten free crusts where the crispier you can get it, the better it’ll taste.

the ingredients list says the crust is made with a blend of rice flour, rice starch, tapioca starch, and whey. it was nothing special, but it still tasted a lot better than almost any GF pizza i’ve been served at restaurants, which is something. it held up structurally and didn’t crumble or sag, which counts for a lot.

8.5/10