#Fox is the only other person he lets ride him. because its funny | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

snickiebear · 3 years ago

Note

Hello, snickiebear! Congratulations on your 200 followers! If you have the time, would you mind writing Shisui x Sakura in a nonmass au? I’m actually curious about your take on a time travel scenario with this pairing, but I also understand that a lot of works have been written on time travel already, so it’s still awesome if you don’t do the time travel part!

Congratulations again and thanks for taking the time to read this ask! Your works are really enjoyable to read. Thank you so much for writing and for doing this 200-follower event!

hello lovely anon!!! thank YOU for reading and requesting!!!! this one was so much fun to write! you ask for time travel + nonmass + shisaku? i am helpless to deliver!! this is a bit more angsty than i wanted but are we surprised? (nope, not at all lmao) this is also now on AO3 bc i really liked it!

also, apologies that this took a bit!! lifes been a real fuckin bitch and the wall of writer's block hit me like a train AHAHAHA but i hope you like this one!!! :)))

The sky is sunny and the spring beautiful when the sky splits itself in half with a brillant, blinding flash of light.

Shisui, masked and riding the after mission high, can only stare as a body plummets from that crack, limp and silent.

It is as if the heavens have spit out what they have deemed unworthy.

Or perhaps, the heavens are dropping a gift on their doorstep.

Either way, Shisui is moving before he knows what is happening, catching that body— a woman with shaven pink hair— and holding her close, head tucked under his chin.

She’s breathing, chest rising and lowering feebly.

Shisui catches his breath as the fracture within the sky closes and only then does he notice the mask.

Porcelain and painted. A combination of a snake and fox, a wolf and slug.

His ANBU team materializes next to him, Dog-taicho’s chakra going from lazy to alert at the sight of the woman. “That’s…”

“Yeah.” Shisui says hoarsely. “She- she needs medical attention. I think.” There is a lot of blood, she’s dripping in it. But he can’t see where she’s bleeding from… or if all that blood is even hers.

“Let’s go.” Dog-taicho cuts through his thoughts, voice hard and a bit panicked. Afterall, Kakashi owes his life to this woman, they all did.

Team Ro blurred out of existence in their race to Kohona, their Savior clutched within his arms.

It's funny, really. When she looks back, as she so often does now, it's laughable. The fact that Haruno Sakura, the civilian born, the nobody, the weak one of Team 7 is the only one left.

Sakura was the only one left in the war against Kaguya and she had done what she has always done; what was needed.

So, Sakura was the only one left and she figured out what was left of Naruto’s seals and shot herself through time to fix everything, to save everyone. To take down Danzo, Hanzo, Madara, to save Sai, the Uchihas, Kakashi.

She was the one to heal Obito, to save Rin, to make sure that Itachi’s hands would never be stained with his family’s blood.

And now, now she sits in a T&I room and she laughs, laughs herself hoarse because she succeeded, she won. And now she is in the future, her intended destination, but it is not the same.

In this future, Haruno Sakura does not exist. She is nothing and no one.

Naruto and Sasuke are alive and well and happy. They get to live the lives they could have only dreamed about.

And Sakura. She doesn’t exist.

She laughs herself hoarse, the laughs turning into broken sobs and she drops her forehead to the table, hiccuping and clenching her hands into blood inducing fists.

Alone. As she always has been.

The door creaks open and Ibiki steps in, a folder in hand.

Sakura’s head snaps up, wiping her face as she almost sighs in relief. She loved (loves?) Ibiki, he once was one of her closest friends near the end. She knows Ibiki, trusts him. Or, at least, she had.

Sakura straightens in her chair, careful of the chakra suppressing handcuffs that really do nothing for her, just acting as a hindrance. But, she does not remove them because she is not a threat to Konoha, she never has been, never intends to be.

Ibiki sits down in front of her, eyeing her carefully and it almost feels like coming home. “You say your name is Haruno Sakura.”

“Yes.” She rasps, licking her cracked and bleeding lips. “That’s right.”

Her eyes flit to the glass window, ignoring her own reflection as she narrows her eyes at whoever is behind the wall. An unknown chakra signature, wild and worried. And— and—

Kakashi.

His cool and lazy chakra, almost like a current of electricity. She would know that chakra any where, as if it is engrained deep in her bones. And right now he’s interested, almost antsy.

Swallowing, Sakura looks back to Ibiki, who had been watching her keenly. “You already had Inoichi-san do a mind walk. You know everything I do.” Shoulders back, chin tilted, spine steeled.

The dead man that sits in front of her hums and opens a folder, “We believe you—”

“It is not a matter of believing.” Sakura snaps, eyes flashing. “You know it is a fact. He saw, he showed you, you saw. How could I ever make something like that up?”

“What we know,” Ibiki says too calmly, too pleasantly, “Is that you are severely traumatized.”

And Sakura well, she laughs again. Because. Because what else is she supposed to do? She gives and gives and gives and is given nothing back.

There are no fruits for her labor, no reward for her sacrifice.

Shoulders shaking as she cries and laughs, scrubbing at her face. “We were friends, you know.” She manages. “I made you laugh twice, once after I lost my middle finger,” Sakura holds up her hand to show him, unsure of why she is even talking. “The second when you were dying in my arms.”

Silence rings out as Sakura gathers herself, swallowing harshly. Ibiki is still looking at her, but the way is no longer cynical, no longer studying.

“Haruno—”

“Just Sakura,” She says wearily.

“Sakura-san,” He continues, “When you were brought in you had a mask on. A mask that has been seen countless times saving Konoha shinobi.”

Sakura does not dare mention the fact that she has also interfered with Suna, giving Gaara the childhood he deserves. And with Mist, cutting the head off the snake quickly enough that the caste system would never truly solidify.

So, she nods. “I am aware.”

“And you claim you are the person behind the mask on every occasion.”

Sighing, she runs a hand over what is left of her hair and makes direct eye contact with her once friend, giving a curt nod, “I am the person behind the mask.”

“One last question, Sakura-san.” Ibiki murmurs, jotting something down in his folder. Sakura forces herself not to read the familiar writing. Though, she is well equipped to read upside down. “How did you come to possess the rinnegan?”

The air drops from mildly uncomfortable to freezing and Sakura does not balk at the question. “You saw it for yourself, Ibiki. It was a gift.”

“Yes, but from who?”

Her heart aches, squeezes at the thought of Naruto, of Sasuke, phantom pains. It is as if she has lost a limb, a piece of her heart when they had turned to ash between her fingers. But Sakura does not waver as she says, “It was a parting gift from Uchiha Sasuke before he died.”

The unknown chakra behind the wall erupts into a mess of emotions while Kakashi’s is mildly surprised if not wary. There is tension between the both of them though.

Which is incredibly amusing considering it wasn’t until much, much later did Kakashi ever see anything to be wary about in her.

(It took her flicking the ground and allowing it to split open and swallow any of their pursuers to convince him that she could very well tear him in half without a second thought.

She wouldn’t though. Team 7 and its members will always be a soft and deeply bruised spot for her. A wound she could never quite heal. Sakura cannot remember a time when she has ever been bruiseless. She has come to terms with being wounded.)

Ibiki closes the folder and taps it on the steel table between them, he motions over his shoulder and the door opens swiftly, revealing Kakashi and another Uchiha with curly hair.

He’s just as she remembers him, except not. Her Kakashi had slouched, had a certain energy about him.

This one, he looks the same, has the scar, the slight slouch. But it is clear that ghosts no longer beat on his back, the world's weight no longer bends him to its will.

Pain races through her heart, echoing physically throughout her body. It hurts. It shouldn’t, seeing her old sensei, her once friend, happy. But it does.

Because while she cannot live without Team 7, it is clear Team 7 can live without her.

She straightens, eyes sharp and body tense as Ibiki stands, chair scraping harshly against the floor and then takes her hands into his, calluses and scars scraping against each other.

Sakura could only imagine what Tsunade-shishou would say if she were to see her, riddled with scars and missing fingers. She could have healed them without a second thought, but chakra had been precious then. Every single ounce had been poured into keeping her precious people safe and herself alive enough to keep fighting.

Her once friend produces a key and unlocks the handcuffs, letting them drop heavily into his awaiting hands before standing up, “Sakura-san, this is Hatake Kakashi,” Her former teacher gives her a hard once over. “And Uchiha Shisui.”

Her skin itches and crawls at Kakashi’s look, cold and unfond, nothing like how she remembers him. And of course, of course he wouldn’t be the man who she had come to adore. He is someone else in this carefully constructed future of her own doing.

The blame, as always, rests upon her weakening shoulders. Sakura is crumbling, her sanity chipping away ever so slowly. It is laughable, really. She wants to throw her head back and howl, she wants to bow and allow herself to scream.

But, if she were to begin to scream, she is not sure she would be able to stop.

So, she gives a curt nod, “Hatake-san. Uchiha-san.”

“Shisui, and therefore the Uchiha, have volunteered to bring you into their custody.” Ibiki goes on, taking a step back. Sakura stays where she is, rooted.

A chill runs up her spine and she looks to Ibiki almost pleadingly. “And you can’t simply dump me into ANBU instead?”

“Mah, Sakura-san.” Kakashi drawls and Sakura’s will cracks. (That bruise will never quite heal.) “I can promise that the Uchiha aren’t as bad as they seem.”

Shisui smiles and it is unlike any smile she has seen before.

She cannot remember the last time she had seen a smile.

“Don’t listen to the old man, Sakura-san.” Shisui says and she’s caught off guard at how friendly he sounds, deep and welcoming. Sakura swallows harshly. “We’re a bunch of assholes but no harm will come to you, we can promise that.”

Uchiha men, she thinks with distaste, will always hold a knife to her heart. And they will always know how to twist the wretched blade to get her to bend for them.

But. But perhaps Sakura could bend, bend and lay and rest. Just once. And this time she'll bend for herself. Perhaps.

She finds herself nodding, hands shaking despite the steel in her spine, her shoulders still straight. “You’re going to just let me go.”

Ibiki gives her a hard look and Sakura’s lips twitch. Ah, of course not. The Uchiha compound is just a glorified prison. Then again, it is much better than anything she thought would happen.

Then again, Saura never thought this would happen.

Too desperate, too blind with the possibility of a chance to see them again, to be whole again. She, for all her brains, all her genius, had not even stopped to think of the possibility that her future would no longer exist.

It is laughable, really.

So she laughs, she clutches her stomach and laughs because what else can she do?

Sakura has done what she has always done; what was needed. And once again, like every other time, there is nothing but black at the end of the tunnel. No light exists for her.

She is to blame for her own destruction, her own crumbling.

“You can come out,” Sakura’s voice calls out and Shisui grins.

He steps from the shadows, two mugs in hand as he comes to sit next to her, offering her the drink. She takes it without hesitation but swirls it before sipping from it, Shisui watches as her eyes light up just a little bit.

Hot cocoa with peanut butter. He had noticed, the last time the clan had it, that she’d snuck four mugs worth.

If Sakura was surprised he noticed, she didn’t show it. She was like that, a one way mirror, giving nothing away even as she saw everything.

“Did you want something, Shisui-san?” She twitches as he scoots a little closer, the fireflies floating around the backyard. “Or did you just want some company?”

Shisui smiles boyishly, tilting his head back to look at her, “Heard that Minato-sama called you into the Hokage’s office again.”

“You mean you heard from Genma, who told Itachi while on their date, who then told you that the Hokage summoned me for the fourth time this week.” Sakura snorts, taking a long drink from her mug. There's a little foam on her upper lip that he fights to not wipe away. “He and his wife keep trying to convince me to let them look at the seals I used.”

Shisui pauses, eyes trained on Sakura as she looks to the sky, head leaning back. Her hair has grown out a little, more fuzz on her head than anything, she looks more alive, well fed. Deep bags under her one visible eye, three nasty scars dissect her face and the rest of her body isn’t any better.

She is the most beautiful, most terrifying, most devastating thing he has ever seen.

“The seals you used…”

“To go back and hop through time like a jack rabbit to save the entire world?” She asks, a wry smile on her face. “Yes, Shisui, those seals.”

He hums, leaning back on the heels on her hands, “Why don’t you just let them look?”

“They aren’t my seals to share.” Sakura half snaps, shoulders curling in, her body strung tight. “Naru— my friend was the one to draw them out, I just figured out the last bit of it. Plus, there is no reason why they need to see those seals.” Her tone sharp, unyielding almost pleading.

Shisui stays quiet until Sakura begins to slowly relax. She gets like this sometimes, tense and defensive. As if trying to convince herself rather than him of her deeds. He knew better than to push, he knew that she had gone through more than anyone would ever go through.

The way Ibiki and Inoichi look at her with the utmost respect can verify that. The way Kakashi and Rin and Obito have gone out of their way to greet her, to help her speaks volumes.

He takes a drink from his mug, studying the stars winking above them. “Hey Sakura,”

“Yes?” She sounds oh so weary. His very soul aches.

“Thank you, for everything.” He doesn’t dare look at her, barely hearing himself over the pounding of his heart. “You don’t talk much about what happened but I know, I can tell that it was horrible. And thank you for saving us, the world.”

She had lost everything, everyone. In that future that she had protected them from Sasuke died, Itachi died, he was dead. He could only imagine what the ruins of that world looked like. He could only imagine what Sakura had to do to survive.

Sakura’s fingers are cold, freezing as they brushes the back of his hand. Shisui fights a shiver, the trail of goosebumps, the thrill. “Oh, oh Shisui.” Her voice is heartbreaking and full of nothing but steel. “I would never allow anyone to endure that. You will never have to endure that, I made sure of it. Never. No one will. I promise.”

Her hand draws back as she brings her knees to her chest, eyes far away and breathes quick. And Shisui, he doesn’t know what comes over him as he scoots even closer and carefully wraps his arm around her strong shoulders, drawing her closer.

And. And Sakura, she allows it. She moves to his side, not quite leaning but touching.

“Are you happy here?” Shisui finds himself asking after long minutes of silence. Sakura’s breath evened out and she sits with her chin on her knees.

Her eye flits to him, weighing and heavy. She looks at him and Shisui cannot help but see the age, the ancientness that has taken root. He wants to pull out the misery within her, wants to hold her tight enough that she will never fall apart without somewhere there to catch the pieces.

He wants to love her, he wants her to let him love her.

“No.” Sakura whispers, as if her unhappiness in a world that does not know her, that has done nothing for her is such an awful, wretched thing. “I miss everyone.”

Shisui cannot say anything so he does what he does best; what he wants.

He stays with her, arm resting on her shoulders and slowly, Sakura allows herself to lean into his side.

Around them, the night settles and the crickets chirp. The heavens had nothing to do with Haruno Sakura, with their Savior, coming to them. No, Sakura is the catalyst of this, of this paradise they now all reside in.

If anything, she is the heavens themselves. And it is about time someone tells her that, shows her that.

Sakura sees them for the first time in the five months she has landed in this new future. Itachi invited her to meet his genin team. Itachi, the man who had once been a mass murderer, is now a mednin and a jounin sensei.

Shisui joins her because of course he does, he has been the one constant throughout this entire ordeal. The Uchihas are nothing like she thought they would be. The Uchihas are everything she hoped they would.

They are loving, friendly, welcoming, and thankful. Mikoto is nothing but heaven sent sunshine and cloud soft embraces, Fukago is nothing but a deep rumbling laugh and fond looks.

No one is the same, nothing is the same.

Shisui is there though, at her side, at her back. She trusts him, gods, she trusts him. Despite her better judgement, despite everything. Sakura trusts Shisui.

So, Shisui joins her as she takes to the roofs and to training field 7. She’s finally been cleared for the mission roster and given her jounin blues. Though, Sakura has yet to decide if she even would enjoy going on missions.

Maybe with Shisui.

But she does not think she has a taste for violence anymore, for killing. Maybe she'll spend her days with Kakashi's dogs and holed up in the libraries. Maybe she'll visit Gaara or Chojuro.

She had yet to meet Tsunade, who had been hunting for her since Minato (the bastard) had let it slip that Sakura was in possession of the rinnegan and the byakugan seal. Shisui is exceptionally good at playing discractor as Sakura flees to rock in a corner until he finds her. He's good at that, holding her, letting her breathe, allowing her to find solace within his arms and his space.

They step onto the training fields and Sakura freezes mid step to watch as Sasuke, Naruto, and Sai (oh, oh Sai. Sweet Sai, oh.) attack in perfect sync.

They’re fourteen if her math is correct.

They move smooth and swift, nonverbal communication as if they had been working like this for years. It's beautiful, really.

Something ugly claws at her heart, catching on an already scabbing part to rip open a new wound. Simply another reminder that Sakura is not needed. She never was.

It's laughable, really.

Shisui’s fingers massages the sides of her neck with his fingers, the spot where her skull and neck meet. “You’re tense.”

“They have beautiful teamwork.” She chokes out.

He looks at her, long and open, “We can go home, if you want.”

Shisui’s good at that t00, the open ended question, the way of making her not feel trapped. He's too perceptive for his own good, she has yet to tell him anything except what is on record. But, but. He knows. He knows of Kakashi, of Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai. It is both a relief and a terror. “No.” She manages, curling her hands. She is Haruno Sakura. She has faced the impossible her entire life. Ghosts are nothing compared to gods.

At least, that is what she tells herself.

“I’ll be fine.” Sakura glances up at him, licking her lips. He watches the movement before his eyes flit back up hers and he offers one of her favorite smiles. The one where his dimples are visible, where she can see the small chip of his front tooth and the way his top canin is a little crooked.

Itachi calls the spar minutes later, the boys slumping onto the ground and breathing heavily. Sakura offers a small smile as Itachi nears them, waving a hand in greeting.

“Ah, Sakura-chan.” He grins, then looks to Shisui, dry amusement clear in his tone, “Shisui.”

“You’ve trained them well,” Sakura praises, watching as Naruto (oh gods, Naruto with his big blue eyes and blonde, blonde hair) pulls a limp Sasuke (a Sasuke who laughs freely, who smiles, and is loved) onto his feet, Sai huffing a chuckle from the ground.

Itachi practically beams at the praise, “They are very talented. And you would like to meet them, yes?”

Shisui’s thumb traces the bumps of her spine and Sakura is reminded that she has forged herself from the ashes of her friends, that she is borne from war and steel. She can do this. Shisui is here and she can do this. “Yes, I would love to, Itachi.”

Shisui’s hand burns through her clothes as they follow Itachi, the boys immediately catching sight and freezing at the sight of them. Sakura will never admit it out loud that she has been avoiding any and all people from her past (present? future?).

One look at Ino, whole and happy and sassy, and Sakura had almost gone insane. And then Shikamaru and Chouji, all together, all smiling. Gods, Sakura had fallen to her knees at the sight. Such grief, such loneliness—

She’s better now. She is.

“Team 7.” Itachi says, “This Haruno Sakura, and you already know Shisui.”

Silence.

Sakura shifts under the wide eyed gazes of the boys, the men she loved (loves?) with her entire being. “It is a pleasure to meet you,”

Naruto recovers first because of course he does. And he smiles at her, he smiles at her and Sakura wants to claw at her skin and cry. Shisui intertwines their hands, as if sensing that urge.

“I’m Uzumaki Naruto!” He’s fourteen and he's alive and he’s happy. He isn’t out of the village, he’s here because he has a clan, he has a family. “Is it true that you’re the Savior?”

Sasuke smacks him in the back of the head with a scowl, “Be polite, dobe.” To Sakura he offers a bow, “It is pleasure to meet you, Haruno-san. I am Uchiha Sasuke.”

Sakura’s lips twitch despite herself. Never, not once, did Sasuke ever bow to anyone. He had always been arrogant, but here? Now? It's laughable, really.

She glances to Sai and he isn’t as pale as he once was, his cheeks are full of color, his eyes brimming with life. “I am Senju Sai, Haruno-san.”

And. Sakura pauses at that. Senju Sai, huh. Perhaps she'll have to face Tsunade sooner than later. The thought added to the dread filled pool in her stomach. But. But, she could do it. Maybe.

“It is very nice to meet you all,” She croaks and then offers a very brittle smile. “And Naruto-kun,” She fights a shiver at the honorific. “That information is S class, but find me when you make jounin, hm?” And for a moment she could pretend that everything was okay and she was teasing her Naruto. Just for a moment.

Much to her amusement, all three boys pout, looking to Itachi who shrugs, “You heard Sakura, now, let’s see formation Alpha but reverse.”

The boys groan and Sakura can’t help the smile, a smile with teeth.

She can feel Shisui’s eyes on her before she even turns to look at him. Her body is shaking, Sakura realizes blankly but Shisui still holds her sweating hands, squeezing ever so slightly. “Ready to go?”

Sakura swallows, staring up at him, studying him. And oh, she is so tempted to uncover her eye, to memorize his face. “Yes. Let’s… let's go home.”

He wakes to warmth pressed against his chest, warm breaths against his neck. Their legs are tangled, her arm thrown over his side and brushes against the bare skin of his back. Both of them are missing their clothes, Sakura preferred being able to feel the skin on him, the brush of flesh between them.

What they have, it is something deeper than any type of physical act. No, what they have… well, Shisui can not put it to words. There are no words. There will never be words.

It is rare for Sakura to sleep soundlessly and through the entire night. Shisui kisses her forehead, above her seal, on one of the many scars of her face. She doesn’t stir except to shift ever so slightly, hugging him closer.

And if Shisui’s heart melts, no one else is there to see the absolute brilliant smile on his lips.

“Sakura,” He murmurs because if she doesn’t get up soon, she’ll miss her lunch with Ibiki (who gets very grumpy when his time with Sakura is cut short), “Sakura.”

She grumbles, limbs tensing for a moment, a single breath before melting once more. “Shisui,” Her voice is rough with sleep, the sound swirls and dances around his bones. “G’mornin’.”

Shisui laughs, a soft push of air, as Sakura leans back to peer at him, both eyes uncovered as she studies him, the look like a physical caress. “Good morning.” He whispers, kissing her forehead once again.

“What time is it?” She murmurs, eyes drooping closed.

“You’ve got about an hour before Ibiki comes knocking.” Shisui chuckles.

Sakura snorts, pulling away to stretch her arms above her head, arching her back in the way that Shisui can admire every muscle, every scar, every part of her. “Then I better get up,”

“Or, you could always stay,” Shisui cajools, to which Sakura only laughs. The sound is beautiful and full and makes his heart beat a little faster.

“The last time I canceled on Ibiki was when I had to help Itachi with his and Genma’s wedding plans, and he sent little Terror Ino after me for a week.”

Shisui cracks an even wider grin, “Well, at least you got some nice clothes out of it.”

Laughing again, Sakura leans down to kiss him, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Go on,” Shisui shoos, making a little gesture with his hand. “Have fun, I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

She cups his face, thumbing the sharp of his cheek bone before leaning forward to kiss him again, "I love you." Then. "I am glad that my suffering brought me to you, that I landed here."

"I love you." He returns, barely a whisper as he brushes hair behind her ears. His heart beats for her, cracks and aches and swells. All for her. "There will never be a time that I will not love you. There will never be a time where I do not see you and see everything you are, everything you have done."

The sky is sunny and the spring beautiful as Sakura, the very heavens themselves, mouth splits into a brilliant, blinding smile.

(Sakura has crumbled and broken, she has fallen apart over and over. She has always known how to put herself together, until she couldn’t.

But Shisui, oh Shisui, he has always been readily available with glue and tape. He will always be there to hold her together with his bare hands, ready to bleed for her, with her.

She has given and given and given. He is willing to give everything back to her tenfold.

It is the very least she deserves, the very least the world can gift her. Shisui will always be willing to give more.)

#silly things from silly friends #i hope you like it anon!!! thank u again :'')#shisaku #a shared pen

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m00nycore · 4 years ago

Text

𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 . 𝒐𝒏𝒆 . 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚 .

ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒?

[𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡]

𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑐

𝑡/𝑤 : 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ, 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑠, 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑢𝑚𝑎

𝑡𝑎𝑔��𝑖𝑠𝑡 ;; @dreaming-about-fanfictions @thesweethufflepuff

“he looks so like james! i mean, remus, can you believe it?! his eyes are exactly the same, just like lily’s! you talked to him on the train, you saved him—what is he like?”

and remus smiled at her, shaking his head. he hadn’t seen lucy this happy in years—and it was as if they were young again, as if the horror had never happened.

she had fiercely loved harry since he was born. all she had wanted since lily and james passed was to be able to take him in. harry gave her hope.

“exactly as you would expect him to be, and that was only at the first impression,” he was leaned against the desk in his new office, and lucy had insisted on helping him unpack.

remus had almost forgotten she had dimples.

“i will never forgive albus for not letting me take him in, moony—“ she cut herself off, quickly, very quickly, almost as if she were scared.

and lucy potter was scared.

she never used their old names. not until dumbledore dubbed her professor vulpes—and that wasn’t her, it wasn’t. she was playing a part.

but remus lupin smiled and it just about broke her heart.

“vulpes,” he said it warmly, as if greeting an old friend. in some ways, he reckoned, he was.

“moony,” she repeated. lucy potter was reminded about what it felt like to be young.

to new beginnings, he thought to himself, as he sipped his hot chocolate.

it was the first day of term, the first time that the third year students filed in the room—and lucy potter was almost scared to see him. harry potter: the only other potter in the school—the only other potter left.

the first few lessons went smoothly, and remus was, amazing, she thought. absolutely amazing.

harry walked in, looking skeptical, accompanied by a ginger-haired boy—a weasley, she knew it.

the potters loved their gingers, didn’t they?

harry’s eyes scanned the room and stopped at his aunt, who smiled.

she wanted nothing more than to run up, to hug him tightly, to cry. she wanted to apologize for not being able to take him in, she needed to know if he could ever forgive her.

harry deserved to know everything about his parents. harry deserved to know remus, to know her, as well.

sometimes lucy liked to think that she deserved to know him, too.

the wardrobe that she and remus had pulled out began to shake, and she saw a few of the students step back, eyes wide, some faces paling.

rising from her place, she walked forward, giving a little wave as she stood beside remus.

“welcome,” remus began, nodding at the crowd. “i am professor lupin—it is very nice to meet you all.”

“i’m professor vulpes,” she added. the name still sounded foreign on her tongue. “lovely to meet you!”

the cabinet shook once more.

“ah, i suppose that’s our cue to begin the lesson, yes?” remus asked, rhetorically. “intriguing, isn’t it?” he paused. “would anyone like to venture to guess as to what is inside?”

“that’s a boggart, that is.”

“very good, mr. thomas,” remus praised. “now, does anybody know what a boggart looks like?”

“nobody knows,” a girl’s voice spoke, and lucy realized it was hermione granger, the student using a time turner to take as many classes as she could. admirable.

“when’d she get here?!” ron weasley demanded. harry seemed to have good friends—apparently, the three of them were an infamous trio.

“boggarts are shape shifters,” she continued, ignoring ron. “they take shape of whatever a particular person fears most. that’s what makes them so—“

“—so terrifying,” remus finished, smiling. “yes, yes, yes.”

the students were soon practicing the riddikulus charm, wandless, and still flinching when the wardrobe shook.

neville longbottom was called forward by remus—another reminder of the past that made lucy want to cry.

it was marleen who had managed to find the mead—and dorcas’ idea to mix it with juice.

the girls were all laughing, gossiping, talking about their love lives. lucy was laying across lily’s lap, looking up at alice.

“frank?” alice questioned, again, with lily nodding at her. “i’ll have babies with him, mark my words.”

remus encouraging him made her smile. she was unable to keep that adoration out of her face—remus was infallibly kind.

alice and frank would have been so proud.

but her blood boiled, it absolutely boiled, when neville admitted his biggest fear was snape.

“frightens all,” remus remarked, among the laughter of neville’s peers.

“truly,” she added, winking at neville. she never approved of her brother and... his best friend... bullying severus—but he was cruel.

thus, lucy laughed the loudest when she saw him in mrs. longbottom’s clothing, and beamed at the smile that neville wore. he looked like alice.

the children formed a line as remus put a record on the phonograph. remus loved jazz—and she had grown fonder of it as well. she couldn’t listen to a lot of the music she used to.

“now, i want everyone to picture the thing they fear the very most, and turn it into something funny. ron!”

snape instantaneously transformed into a giant spider, and ron looked absolutely petrified, hesitating a few seconds longer than he should have.

“you’ve got it, ron!” lucy exclaimed, nodding at him. “think of something funny, come on!”

“riddikulus!” the spider suddenly had skates on each of its eight legs, making it slide around the floor. ron high-fived harry as he made his way to the back of the line.

pavarti patil feared snakes, seamus finnegan feared banshees, and dean thomas’s boggart took the form of a disembodied, living hand.

she tensed when harry stepped up—and remus caught her eye.

as the boggart shifted, fear began to fill harry’s eyes, as well—and it increased when the boggart took the form of a dementor.

without thinking, lucy bolted from her seat to stand in front of him—and her boggart took form.

a black dog.

“riddikulus!” she shouted, forcing her voice to sound calm and willing her body not to shake.

padfo—the dog turned into a plush toy, and remus came to her shoulder to send the boggart into the wardrobe and lock it with the flick of his wrist.

“alright, well, sorry about that! that’s enough for today, why don’t you all collect your books from the back of the class? that’s the end of the lesson, thank you!”

the students groaned, and remus began lecturing on how you shouldn’t have too much of a good thing.

lucy turned, facing harry, and patted his shoulder. he looked a bit put out, and she was suddenly worried her protectiveness had embarrassed him.

“it’s alright, harry,” she assured him, a maternal smile on her face. her first time speaking to her nephew in more than a decade, and it was impossible not to feel shaken. “at least your boggart wasn’t a dog.”

remus wasn’t like the others.

james would have been the one to ask if she wanted to talk about it.

peter would have beat around the bush trying to decide if he should ask her.

remus just offered for her to not sit in for the next few lessons. she refused. he smiled, and hugged her.

and he... if he were there, he would have just demanded to know. and she would have told him. she always told him.

lucy refused to even think his name—and when she did, it felt like hell. then there were the memories—the memories, oh god, they burned.

a wolf, a stag, a rat, a fox, and... a dog.

five people trying to fit under the same cloak. the black lake during sunset. running from the source of the noise. sleepovers in the wrong dorm, and late night trips to the kitchens.

the mandrake leaves james stole that they had to keep in their mouths for an entire month, and her crying from frustration if she failed. the silvery glow of the full moon while they stared out onto the grounds until morning, waiting for when they could run to the hospital wing.

the precious time spent with lily. study sessions turned to giggles and long conversations. the two of them were thick as thieves, and lucy never pushed her to james. in fact, she smacked her in the back of the head when she admitted her feelings for him. lily evans loved kate bush and the grease soundtrack. she showed her the muggle way of life—which lucy adored.

she found sisters within alice, marlene, and dorcas. alice was bold behind her sweet face and gave the best advice. marlene had everyone wrapped around her finger in the best possible way. dorcas had a quiet charm, similar to remus’, and she was unspeakably in love with marlene... who in turn was unspeakably in love with dorcas.

her brother flirting with lily. lucy would race him through the halls, from filch, and whoever was caught would take the fall. their strange twin code of conduct, their togetherness and alliance to each other—only broken by trying to push each other off of brooms at quidditch practice. he was protective, but never smothered her. she remembered them crying from happiness when they finally were able to transform into their animagi forms. they had a very similar laugh. james was her ride-or-die.

convincing peter to let her pierce his ear. scrawled notes being passed through class—he was a great confidant, and she would hold his secrets just as well. she had punched snape in the face, she had lost her control, just because he had brought peter’s name up. he was great at charms, great at giving advice.

laying on remus’ shoulder after the full moon, reading the same book with him, even if he had to pause while she finished the page. sharing snacks, genuine, true laughter and happiness, and giving him innocent, feather-light kisses on his facial scars to make him smile. rambling conversations, messy notes hidden between pages of books and under pillows. his ability to separate her from the trouble they found.

and...

muggle rock music. cigarettes. making his family’s lives hell. barked laughter and stupid dares. he always insisted she was his favorite potter—unless she worked with the other boys against him. the promise of forming a band. when he grabbed her wrists and shushed her—she’d ruin their cover, they were supposed to be hiding from filch. the cold hands in hers while they ran from the scene of the crime.

crime.

and she was back in reality, sitting in remus’ office with him while he planned lessons.

“do you remember the mandrake leaves?” she had asked, in a very small voice, as if he wouldn’t remember, though she knew it was impossible for him to forget.

remus ran a hand over his face.

“i remember well, lucy,” he sighed. “you were too hard on yourself.”

swallowing, and willing her voice not to shake, she stared at him before speaking.

“we all were... but he was harder on himself, remember? he would get mad, start kicking things and trying not to cry.”

remus lupin’s eyes were far away.

it hurt him too.

eventually, they walked to the great hall for dinner.

harry potter wanted to put together the pieces.

a black dog. the black dog.

he had seen that dog, he had gotten the grim, and it was their new professor’s greatest fear?

he knew the expression on her face—it was the one he, himself, wore when he was scared.

harry wanted to believe in coincidences, but doing that when he was harry potter wasn’t the best idea.

“professor vulpes,” ron began, from his seat on the couch. “she’s kind of fit, isn’t she?”

hermione sighed, rolling her eyes. “honestly, ronald, of all the things... i’m confused as to why she’s even here.”

harry raised an eyebrow at her.

“well,” hermione began, sounding very slightly unsure. “i’m sure if dumbledore thinks it’s smart for her to be here, it must be alright... but we’ve never needed two professors for one class.”

“i mean, he said she’s helping lupin, isn’t he?” harry added. “i like professor lupin, i feel like he’ll be the best teacher we’ve had. and vulpes... she seems nice, too.”

“i agree,” hermione told him, hastily. “it’s just that it seems a bit weird, is all...”

“she seemed to know lupin pretty well,” ron commented. harry and hermione looked over.

“well, it just seems like they’re familiar with each other. they’re in perfect step with each other, almost, did you notice? they watch each other. and why did she run in front of harry like that?”

“i dunno,” harry grumbled. “maybe trying to save me from embarrassment?”

hermione rolled her eyes. “or, she could be trying to help you?”

“i don’t know,” harry still had a twinge of bitterness in his tone. “she seems familiar to me, though.”

“hmm.”

56 notes · View notes

46inpm · 5 years ago

Note

The boys vs MC with nip piercings

MC with Nipple Piercings (Slight NSFW)

Victor

It was during the Doomsday Date that you had to share the bed with Victor because no hotels were available

Like any normal girl who feels comfortable with no bra on as they sleep MC didn’t wear one under your pajama shirt

Perfectly fine if you sleep with a bra on

Victor could hardly sleep anymore when he realized his arm was against your bare booby, you didn’t notice because you were out like a light

The feeling of the poking and being able to see it through the alarm clock’s light he realized you have nipple piercings

You was the last person he thought would have it... I mean you weren’t all that confident other than talking to him and eating

Victor had to snap himself out of staring at your pierced chest because Little Vic was growing

He slowly pulled her shirt down and tucked the bed tighter so your shirt couldn’t ride up

Then he went to the bathroom to take care of his body

After they started dating he didn’t care when you told him about your piercings when they maked out

He even bought you fancy piercings because it made her look so sexy

“Victor, was that you that tucked the bed so tight?”

“Yes. A certain dummy kept moving around last night.”

“And that went to the bathroom? You must have been in there for awhile. The trash can is full of tissues. I got a runny nose too from the cold.”

“Yeah...my nose...was clogged.”

Lucien

When the two of you got a little too kissy-kissy that’s when Lucien’s hands began to roam your body

As his hands cupped your bra, you put his hands down to tell him something

“There’s something you should know. You should know this before we...”

“What could there possibly be that would make me stop touching you?”

“I’m not ashame of this but I know most don’t really like the idea of doing something to their bodies.”

“Show me then.”

His smile with his eyes and his SMOOTH VOICE

You took off your shirt then bra to reveal pierced nipples

Lucien’s smile became even more seductive and sly like a fox

He pressed his body against yours not waiting any longer

It’s your body so you can do whatever you want with it obviously he won’t let you do something that would put her health at risk

...Well that was easy but Lucien isn’t bothered or surprised by much so it’s understandable

For each anniversary he would get you a new set of piercings but he had to change because you had too much

Now you have a collection that you try to wear a different one each month

When you get dressed in your pajamas, he’ll watch your boobs and gets turned on by it so much (your not going to bed anytime soon)

Kiro

Kiro practically kidnapped you to go to the Bahamas with him

Honestly who in the right mind would complain

When the two of you go snorkeling he realized that there were two dots visible through your new swimsuit

Does she have four nipples??

Kiro wouldn’t say anything until you caught him staring at your chest

“You want to see them?”

“What?! I didn’t mean to stare it’s just...”

“Never seen pierced nips before?”

“...Yeah...YOU DO?!”

He was surprised by it and had so many questions for you to answer

Does it hurt when you lie down on your chest? What would happen if you had a baby, where would the milk go? Does your nipples get itchy?

Actually Savin had to yell and give Kiro a lecture to not get nipple piercings, sunshine boy just wanted to be like you that’s all

Make sure that after sex that you don’t let your nipples touch his because boy just got more stamina

Kiro just wants to feel you as he whines like a puppy, grinding against you to at least admire your boobies in all its glory

At night you would find him sleepy spooning you as his fingers would trace circles around your nipples

Gavin

Gavin has his ears pierced because he’s a cool guy😎

He found out that you have pierced titties be a you drank a bit too much

You have never seen a man blush and try to be cool as his mind was trying to think rationally

“Have you took a shower and got dress in your pajamas?”

“Yes, Officer Gavin! Did-did you know that...I have pierced nippies?! See! Look! Hey, you’re not looking!!”

“MC, p-please put down your shirt. You need to drink some more water to sober you up.”

Waking up the next morning to Gavin trying to slip in a question about your nipples at first you were confused then you remembered yourself flashing him

Now you were the one blushing as you explain the story of when you pierced your nipples

Anyone with pierced nipples tell me the story of why you wanted piercers nipple and if it hurts to lay on your chest

When you have sex he would arch his torso to get your nipples to touch because it turns him on so much

Now he can’t help but look at your boobs

Gavin you know I would like to get more attention than my boobs but it’s kinda funny how you don’t even realize where you’re staring

Your boyfriend also makes sure that you don’t wear a tight shirt or a un-padded swimsuit so no one else she’s what only he should see

At times you do have to remind Gavin when you feel like he’s overstepping his control what you wear boundaries because he doesn’t mean to be harsh it’s that he doesn’t want men staring at your chest

143 notes · View notes

writingpuddle · 6 years ago

Note

The foxes and Andrew reacting to Neil with a British accent?

Hey anon im p sure you sent me this like a million years agobut I found it again when going thru my asks yesterday so here goes myattempt at a bulletpoint fic:

Neil grew up in the states, sohis default accent is American, but he is ridiculouslygood at imitating. Like give him a ten second audio clip and he canextrapolate basically an entire dialect from it

The Foxes discover this aroundHalloween when watching a spooky movie and Neil goes into a perfect deadpanmockery of the Dracula character’s terrible Transylvanian accent

It becomes a thing

The Foxes will give him an accentand just set him loose

Neil is kind of surprised bytheir enthusiasm but also secretly very pleased to have found a way to amusehis Foxes

He likes making them happy so henever denies them

Except Kevin, but that is mostlybecause the team gets more amusement from watching Kevin get frustrated and trynot to show how annoyed he is over Neil being such a petty little asshole

Also they discover that if Neilputs on an Irish accent when Kevin isn’t paying attention he will absolutelyJUMP

Give him an order in an Irishaccent and he just instantly starts to follow through before he wakes up,blinking in disorientation as he realizes what he was doing

It��s funny at first, then theyrealize it’s because he associates the accent with his mother, and then itskind of sad, and then Kevin starts telling more stories about his mum and someof the few good memories he has of her, and then it gets funny again because Foxesare Foxes and they do love a good roast

Kevin complains outwardly but itsactually kind of cathartic to talk about his mother

He tells Andrew this inconfidence and Andrew just glares at him like no shit dude, you need fuckingtherapy

Anyways

That summer is going to be thesummer of the girls graduation

So they’re all determined to dosomething big to celebrate

And they get it in their heads todo a Eurotrip

Neil isn’t really payingattention at first because he’s more concerned about whether Andrew will bewilling to do a transatlantic flight

(Andrew is obviously going tocome. Flights suck, but there is no way he can cope with his whole family beingthat far away. He does not feel the need to explain this. It should beobvious.)

That’s when the Foxes pause, alldevious.

They’ve been plotting

“So, Neil,” Allison says. “At what point are you going to introduce usto your British uncle?”

Neil does not see where this isgoing

In fact he is largely baffled bythe suggestion.

“You realize my uncle is agangster, right? Like, literally a crime boss. Possibly the most dangerousperson in Britain.”

“Mm-hmmmmm.”

Neil is ???

“But he saved you Neil,” Nicky says emphatically. “We need to thank him.”

“Uh, kind of by accident, butyeah, technically.”

“You should call him. Just toask. You know, at least give the guy some warning that you’ll be in the area.”

Neil is still kinda confused butokay, fine.

Now here’s the thing

The Foxes have heard any numberof accents from Neil by this point

Including a magnificent Godfatherimitation

And probably half a dozendifferent British ones

But those were always for the laughs

He always picked a terribleaccent or would mock the living hell out of a posh one

Neil isn’t used to being thefunny one so he’s trying his best okay

And it’s fun and all but Neil can’tbe seductive to save his life

Even if you made him speak theFrench, the language of love itself,he’d just sound like he’s talking about the next game because he has zeroflirtability

Face it his and Andrew’sflirting sounds kind of like death threats to outsiders

They deserve each other

SO the Foxes convince Neil tocall up his uncle and they huddle around the phone

Only to be utterly disappointed

Neil talks with Stuart for all ofa minute and a half, just normal voice

He hangs up and tells them thatStuart will meet them in London in May and that they’re going to get him inshit with the FBI for this

The Foxes retreat, mutteringmutinously

Andrew is well aware of what’sgoing on, but it’s halfway amusing so he doesn’t say anything

As the months pass the Foxesbecome increasingly desperate in their attempts to make Neil say something sexy

They make him quote movies, TVshows, read out flirty text messages

One memorable time they even gethim to read out a page from Fifty Shades of Grey in a stuck-up British accent

They almost die laughing

It’s like a fucking superpower

Neil can say absolutely anythingand make it come across totally non-sexual

The Foxes have pretty much givenup by the time the summer trip comes around

Neil spends the plane ridepretending not to fuss over Andrew so by the time he arrives he’s totallyexhausted

And here is what he didn’texpect:

He is totally used to listeningto the local accents and then blending in naturally

It’s very disorienting beingamong the Foxes and their various Americanism, but hearing British accents allaround him

And his instincts are snarled upin knots

Plus he’s fucking tired

So he keeps slipping

First it happens when they passthrough customs, just a little lilt to his voice to put the officer at ease

But then it keeps happening

Stuart sends a couple cars topick them up and take them to this massive place he owns right in centralLondon

Being a crimeboss comes withcertain perks okay

Neil slips up again when he’stalking to the driver, his accent washing back and forth

Everyone else isn’t really payingattention because as excited as they are about Neil’s accent they’re in London and they’re all exhausted and fora lot of them it’s the first time they’ve been outside of the States, ever

Andrew notices

But he doesn’t say anything

They get to the apartment andfind a note there from Stuart saying he’ll pick them up tomorrow for a tour

Everyone splits off into theirrooms to sleep

Neil falls into bed exhausted, but sleep doesn’t come

And Andrew knows this but is tooexhausted himself from the stress of flying to deal with it right away

So he just wraps an arm aroundNeil’s stomach and holds him there as he drifts off

And it’s not enough for Neil toreally relax but it’s enough to make him feel grounded

The next morning Stuart shows upand everyone blinks at him bleary eyed and suspicious

But he’s charming and most ofthem find it kinda disarming

Which is how the Foxes end up takingwhat is probably the most expensive tour they’ve ever had (Allison excepted),lead entirely by a crime boss

Neil is lagging behind a bit buteveryone is so caught up in it that they don’t really notice

Except Andrew

That boy is always attuned to Neil

So he drops back with him andthey have a brief intense staring contest which ends in Neil looking away

They’re standing in Trafalgarsquare watching some street performers so no one is listening

Neil is obviously chewing onsomething and Andrew waits him out

He would wait forever

Finally, Neil just says, “I’vebeen here before.”

Which isn’t much but Andrew’smemory has never failed him before

I couldn’t live there again. I couldn’t retrace my steps to any ofthose places

Andrew knows what its like to feelsick at things that other people would love

So he nods and stands next toNeil the whole day

Not quite touching but closeenough that they can feel each others gravity

At the end of the day Stuart andNeil have a very cordial goodbye and then Stuart leaves them back at theapartment

Everyone is gushing about how charismatiche is and Neil doesn’t bother to correct them

His uncle has always been a bitof a snake-charmer but at least he knows he’ll never hurt his Foxes

They’ve still got a few days inLondon and Stuart’s secured them tickets to an underground dungeon tour thingthat usually has months worth of waiting list

Neil’s a little leery of goinginto a dark underground space, but with his Foxes there he’s sure he’ll beFine™

The team breaks out drinks aftersupper but Neil doesn’t have the energy

(Honestly according to thistimeline they’ve been in London for twenty-four hours they should be jet-laggedto hell and back, but w/e)

So he retires to their room andAndrew follows him like he always will

He sits next to Neil on the bedand waits

God there’s so much fuckingpointed silence between these two dear lord guys learn to communicate

Eventually Neil sighs. “I thoughtit would be okay. With all of them here.”

Andrew mulls that over

He doesn’t know how to admit thatit bothers him too. Seeing Neil reverting back to old habits, trying to blendin like its second nature

But he knows Neil is here to stayso he just slips a hand around the back of Neil’s neck and tugs him in untiltheir foreheads touch, breathing in the same air

Gradually the tension eases outof Neil

“We can go home,” Andrew says

“No,” Neil says. “I want to stay.I want to learn how to…do all of this, as Neil.”

Andrew squeezes the back of hisneck one more time. “Okay.”

It’s a silent promise, one he’sbeen keeping for over a year now: that any time Neil drifts too far, Andrewwill keep him anchored.

Neil knows it and he can’t helpbut smile a little, watching Andrew’s hazel eyes disappear into the shadowbetween their faces.

“Yes or no?” he asks

Andrew draws back a little

“You’ve been dissociating allday.”

“I’m here now.”

Andrew scowls and let’s go ofhim, standing up to go dig out his pajamas from his luggage

Neil flops down on the bed andadmires the view while Andrew changes

(That’s a nice thing. Andrewbeing comfortable enough to change in front of him. Sure, he’s always partiallychanged out in the locker room, but in private it’s different. It’s more. And Andrew is willing to give thatto Neil.)

(It’s very nice.)

“Staring,” Andrew grunts

“Can you blame me?”

“Yes.”

Neil sits up again and tugs onthe front of Andrew’s shirt until he gives in and steps up close, betweenNeil’s legs

His hands go to Neil’s sideswithout conscious decision

“Nicky wants the genuine Europeexperience,” Neil murmurs, toying with Andrew’s hem. He still hasn’t been givenpermission to touch, so he doesn’t. “We’re going to be staying in hostels.Might be the last time we have a room to ourselves.”

Andrew bites down on a thousandimpulses, reflexes to shut Neil down, cuthim out

Instead he just kisses Neil, goodand slow, a reassurance that they’re there,they’re real, and that this isn’t going away

“Andrew—”

“Yes,” he says, and pushes Neilback onto the bed.

You know what happens next

They love each other deeply andprofoundly and all that but they also like each other’s butts ya know

So afterwards they get cleaned upand curl back up in bed to sleep

Andrew climbs over Neil andnearly knees him in the balls and Neil’s laughing a little and Andrew scowls inannoyance as Neil scoots closer

And with the most obnoxious chav accent that’s ever been heard says, “Any chance a bloke could get a bit of a snog before bed?”

It is quite possibly the worstthing Neil has ever said and Andrew does not hesitate in slapping a pillow overhis face to try and smother him

Neil is laughing his ass off andit devolves into some pretty stupid wrestling before Andrew gets Neil pinneddown, straddling his hips

“Bloody wanker,” Neil says, unable to contain his grin

“Shut the fuck up,” Andrew says,and kisses him so that he does.

#i dont think this is what you asked for but its what my brain spat out lol #anon #writing prompt #have i been sitting on this for months?#probably #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #accents #fic #my writing #Chav!Neil #the foxes go on vacation

1K notes · View notes

thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years ago

Text

Hell is For Children: Animorphs as Children’s Lit

[Guest post from Cates!]

So a couple of months ago Bug asked me to write a post about why Animorphs is Middle Grade/Children’s Fiction, not Young Adult. Since she asked, I’ve read several wonderful posts from other people questioning or explaining what the difference is between Middle Grade and Young Adult, where Animorphs fits, and why it matters. Here’s my two cents as a children’s literature scholar.

To start, Animorphs’ 20,000-30,000 word count per book is a big hint it’s not YA fiction. Obviously, a book with a low word count is not automatically a children’s book, and a book with a high word count is not automatically a book for adults. But if Animorphs was aimed at teens, Applegate would likely have been expected to make the books longer. While there are a lot of great YA novels that are as short as or shorter than your average Animorphs book (check out BookRiot’s list of 100 YA novels under 250 pages,) most YA series, and especially fantasy or scifi YA series, are expected to top 100,000 words. (The three books in the Diviners series by Libba Bray have a total wordcount of 520,000 words; Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy tops 400,000 words, for example.)

Animorphs’ word count isn’t enough on its own to exclude the series from YA classification, but Animorphs’ short word count also fits the trend of children’s—not YA—series fiction in the 1990s. In order to understand this trend, and why it produced books specifically for children, not teens, we need to jump back in time to WWII. Because so many American men were drafted into the military, women took over jobs that had been almost exclusively done by men, like mechanics, sales, electricians, etc. When WWII ended, thousands of men returned home, but women didn’t leave the workforce. Realizing they had an excess of young men and not enough jobs, the US government created the GI Bill, allowing soldiers to attend college for free or at a steeply reduced cost, thus stemming the influx of workers and giving the economy and industry room to grow.

At the same time, families were having children (and those children were surviving) at an unprecedented rate. Thanks to the GI Bill, college was no longer something reserved for wealthy white men, but something available to the middle and even lower class. A college education offered social and economic mobility, and the Baby Boomers, children of the GI Bill recipients, became the first generation to grow up with the idea that college was something that could and should be pursued by all.

Then, the Baby Boomers began having children in the late 1970s through early 1990s, meaning a large chunk of those children (including Bug and I) were in elementary school in mid 1990s to early 2000s. Thanks to their parents, a higher percentage of American adults than ever before had attended college. Thanks to advancements in women’s medicine, psychology, sociology, and education, among other fields, people understood as never before the importance of instilling a love of reading in children at a young age. The huge middle class was willing to invest lots of time and money in their children’s educations, because at this point not having a college education was seen as a barrier to success.

I’m sure you can see where this is going. (Kidding).

Children’s publishing exploded in the 1990s because children—or, more accurately, their parents—were seen as a huge, untapped market. Previously, children’s publishing didn’t receive as much money or attention because, the logic went, children did not have money and therefore couldn’t buy books. But then the publishing industry realized that there were literally millions of parents willing to spend money on their children’s education, and publishers like Scholastic, Dutton, Dial, Penguin, Random House, and others rushed to take advantage of this new customer demographic.

Of the ten books featured on this Scholastic bookfair poster from 2000, seven are series fiction.

Serialized fiction—ie, stories that took place over the course of several books about the same characters and/or in the same setting—was the perfect way for publishing houses to capitalize on this new market. And hoo boy was it successful. From 1993 to 1995, Goosebumps books were being sold at a rate of approximately 4 million books a month. That means roughly 130,000 books were sold every day.

Here’s a few names to bring you back: Bailey School Kids, The Magic Treehouse, Babysitter’s Club, Junie B. Jones, Encyclopedia Brown, Cam Jansen, Horrible Harry, Secrets of Droon, The Magic Attic Club, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Bunnicula, The Boxcar Children, The American Girls, Amelia’s Notebook, Dear America, Wayside School, Choose Your Own Adventure…we could keep going for days. All of those series have two things in common: one, they were either published between 1985 and 2005 and/or experienced a huge resurgence in the 90s, and two, they’re all middle grade novels. Some are aimed at younger children, like Junie B. Jones and The Magic Treehouse, and some are aimed at older children, like the Dear America series and A Series of Unfortunate Events.

The point is, Animorphs is so clearly a product of its time (and not just because of the Hansen Brothers references,) it slots perfectly into the trend of series fiction for children. If you want to claim Animorphs is YA, you also need to claim all of the series I just listed above.

Now, let’s talk about the main argument I see in favor Animorphs being YA: the dark content.

This is my personal wheelhouse. I’m planning on someday doing my PhD dissertation on trauma, violence, war, and trauma recovery in Middle Grade—not YA—fiction. I always find it funny when people use descriptors like cute, sweet, innocent, silly, light, and simple to describe children’s books. While there are certainly plenty of children’s books that are one or more of those things, there are also dozens that are the polar opposite—dark, complex, serious, violent, and deep. I once read a review of The Golden Compass which said “it’s not like other children’s books with a clear cut good guy and bad guy and a simple message.” I don’t know how many children’s books the author of the article had read, but I’m guessing not a lot. Let’s just do a blunt reality check with a few of my favorites—including some picture books which are typically for an even younger audience than Middle Grade. Spoilers for all of the books I’m about to mention.

Baseball Saved Us by Ken Mochizuki This book follows a little boy who is sent to a Japanese interment camp during WWII. He and his family deal with abuse, starvation, and sickness. Suggested reading age*? Kindergarten and up.

*(For this and all subsequent books I used reviews from Kirkus, the Horn Book, and School Library Journal to determine suggested reading age.)

Check out this picture of Shorty playing baseball while an armed soldier watches him from a guard tower. Isn’t it cute, sweet, and innocent?

Pink and Say by Patricia Polacco Pink and Say are 15-year-old boys serving as Union Soldiers during the Civil War. Confederate Soldiers kill Pink’s mother, Pink and Say become POWs, and Pink is hanged because he is African American. Suggested reading age? First grade and up.

Fox by Margaret Wild This book starts grim and just gets grimmer. Dog and Magpie have been burned in a wildfire. Dog loses an eye, Magpie a wing. Magpie rides on Dog’s head—she is his eyes, he is her wings. Fox comes and convinces Magpie to leave Dog and come with him. There are definite sexual undertones. The book ends with the possibility that Dog and Magpie will be reunited, but no certainty. Suggested reading age? Six and up.

[The text says “He stops, scarcely panting./ There is silence between them/ Neither moves, neither speaks./ Then Fox shakes Magpie off his back/ as he would a flea,/ and pads away./ He turns and looks at Magpie, and he says,/ ‘Now you and Dog will know what it is like/ to be truly alone.’/ Then he is gone./ In the stillness, Magpie hears a faraway scream./ She cannot tell if it is a scream of triumph/ or despair.”]

Tell me this isn’t a total punch in the gut.

The Rabbits by Shaun Tan The introduction of rabbits to Australia is used as an allegory for European colonization and the casual destruction of the Aboriginals’ lives and cultures. Suggested reading age? Six and up.

The Scarlet Stockings Spy by Trinka Hakes Noble A girl spies on the British during the Revolutionary War while her brother fights. He’s killed and there’s actually a description of her finding the “bloodstained hole” in his coat where the bullet struck him. How cute and silly! Suggested reading age? Second grade and up.

Meet Addy: An American Girl by Connie Rose Porter I think this works as a nice comparison to Animorphs because it’s another long-running, popular series aimed at kids just starting to read chapter books. Among other incidents, there’s a graphic description of Addy watching her brother get whipped by an overseer and a passage where another overseer forces Addy to eat worms. I actually give American Girls a lot of points for not shying away from the uglier parts of history. They don’t always get it right (*cough* Kaya *cough*) but those books are more complex than I think most people realize. Suggested reading age? Second grade and up.

My Teacher Flunked the Planet by Bruce Coville From the sight of a child starving to death to homeless children freezing in the streets, Coville certainly doesn’t avoid the darker side of human nature. Pretty sure most adults only noticed the funny green alien on the cover. Suggested reading age? Fourth grade and up.

“That was the day we crept, invisible, into a prison where men and women were being tortured for disagreeing with their government. What had already been done to those people was so ugly I cannot bring myself to describe it, even though the memory of it remains like a scar burned into my brain with a hot iron.

“Even worse was the moment when it was about to start again. When I saw what the uniformed man was going to do to the woman strapped to the table, I pressed myself against the wall and closed my eyes. But even with my hands clamped over my ears I couldn’t shut out her scream.”

Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai The Vietnam War, migrants drowning in the ocean, refugee camps, racism…this book is a bit like Animorphs in that it’s got a surprisingly dry sense of humor even as awful events take place. Suggested reading age? Fourth grade and up.

The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Patterson A pretty harsh look at the realities of America’s foster care system as told by a girl who could give Rachel Berenson a run for her money. It’s not afraid to show that parents aren’t automatically good people. Suggested reading age? Third grade and up.

Stepping on the Cracks and Wait Til Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn If WWII, bullying, dead siblings, draft dodging, and parental abuse are too light and fluffy for you, you can always read about a child consumed with survivor’s guilt because she started the fire that killed her mother. Suggested reading age? Fifth grade and up.

“‘How do you think Jimmy would feel if he knew his own sister was helping a deserter while he lay dying in Belgium?’

‘It wasn’t like that!’ I said, stung by the unfairness of her question. ‘Stuart was sick, he needed me! I wish Jimmy had been down there in the woods, too! Then he’d be alive, not dead!’

Mother slapped me then, hard as she could, right in the face. ‘Never say anything like that again!’ she cried. ‘Never!’”

I could go on (and on and on and on) about trauma narratives for children, but suffice to say while I think Animorphs is probably the most brilliant one I’ve ever read, it’s far from the only one. Kids’ books can be dark, which is good, because if we only tell stories about white, able-bodied children living in big houses with two loving parents then we’re excluding the majority of real children’s lived experiences from our narratives.

There’s one more point I’d like to address: without sounding overly accusatory, I think a lot of the compulsion to consider Animorphs YA instead of children’s fiction is born of the adult bias against children. I’ve mentioned this before on the podcast, but Children’s Literature scholar Maria Nikolajeva created the term aetonormativity to describe society’s tendency to value the adult over the child. Like I discussed above, we have this idea that children’s books are somehow sweet and innocent, while YA fiction is darker and grittier because it addresses so-called ‘adult’ topics like sex, drugs, suicide, violence, and death.

As I hope I’ve established above, just because a book addresses these topics that doesn’t automatically mean it’s for teens. Books about heavy subjects can, are, and should be written for children. I think most of us are fans of Animorphs because it’s a series that sticks with us long after we close the neon-cloud covers. It’s a series that strongly disputes the notion of a clear right and wrong, and doesn’t shy away from the atrocities of war. And it was written for children. It was sold to children. It was read by children.

Some of us adults are just cool enough to read children’s books that treat child readers with the respect they deserve.

— Cates

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jemej3m · 5 years ago

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gaming au

headcannons because im lazy but i love this idea

- neil is the same sort of vibe as RTGame, who plays whatever the fuck he wants, screws everything up majorly every time, and loves to roast everyone and everything

- andrew is callmecarson and his career is literally just fucking with people

- they’re both mostly streaming on twitch: Neil has no face-cam, whilst andrew does and its just him being completely deadpan and apathetic

- “person101 has subbed for 3 months!” andrew: looks deadpan into the camera, says “you’re wasting your money”

- kevin and riko used to be fOrtNitE bOiiiis WHERE WE DROPPIN but then kevin didn’t want to play fortnite anymore and riko kicked him out, so he moved in with andrew cuz andrew hates fortnite

*this was getting too long yikes*

- nicky’s a sims player bless his soul, he loves sims 3 and wont let it go even though it breaks his computer

- dan and matt absolutely obliterate 1st-person shooter games together

- renee loves story games: life’s strange, detroit: become human, etc

- allison’s a survival games bitch, loves don’t starve together, hardcore minecraft, but also plays shitty barbie fashion games and nitpicks at the programming

- i imagine seth as like an angry 12 year old on twitch, that everyone just laughs at for getting aggressive too easy

- aaron plays whatever, mostly riding the mediocre cash inflow for med school and gets popular because of his criticism of surgeon games, but he loves VR (andrew does too) and sometimes he streams instead of andrew until someone notices

- gamers always coordinate into little groups: this bunch have a discord chat together and often collaborate, except andrew, cuz he’s a *lone wolf* (get over urself andrew)

so how do andrew and neil meet, u wonder? how does neil get initiated into this discord group? where does the nickname foxes come from? where’s wymack in all this?

- so basically i imagine wymack as a game developer and he’s found this group of gamers who are actually funny and are slowly getting popular, so he reaches out and asks them if they want to try this game out, he’s just getting started with it, what are their opinions?

- it obviously can’t be everything each of them every dreamed of, but Mission F0X is actually a lit fuckin game with aspects that everyone can enjoy:

- nicky loves making new characters

- dan and matt fucking ace the shoot outs

- renee loves the choose-your-destiny aspect, and how you can see the percentage of people who went different routes

- allison just loves the adorable fox companion

- seth is pumped for when it’s getting released so he can blow other people up

- aaron doesn’t care but him and kevin end up finishing all the minigames in two weeks so wymack has to make more because kevin’s getting pissy

- andrew zones out as soon as anyone mentions fox because he couldn’t care less

- until

- this “””””neil josten””””””” streamer plays Mission F0X upon its beta release, and tears into the game. like, brutally. he actually praises it too, but everyone’s distracted by his character, who he’s designed to have eyebrows on his chin and backwards ears and eyes on his forehead because wymack allowed that for some reason, and then he’s able to yeet the fox companion over a cliff but it bounces back, and all this ridiculous, crazy shit

- the foxes (as theyve dubbed themselves) think he’s high-key hilarious. they’re planning to reach out to him, but andrew doesn’t trust a streamer who doesn’t have a face cam, it’s fuckin 2019 bro, wtf

- so he goes onto Neil’s minecraft server, because he has this series, where he goes onto famous streamer’s servers and griefs shit until he gets kicked, because he’s andrew

except this time, it’s not one of neil’s mods (robin or brian or jack or sheena), it’s neil himself. he’s streaming. they’re both live, looking at each other as a building behind andrew blows up

- “thats not very nice”

- “whaddaya gonne do, kick me?” (andrew is like an angsty emo 12 yr old i love him)

- neil instead says “nah ill let you be a mod”

- everyone’s like ????? he’s griefing your shit, and you’re gonna make him a moderator?

- andrew is also thoroughly confused

- neil’s popularity, meanwhile, is skyrocketing. everyone wants him to get together with the foxes and play Mission F0X. Wymack has gruffly acknowledged all of the glitches and quirks neil’s criticised and is working to change them. andrew’s a mod on his minecraft server, and sometimes they work together (out of stream) in complete silence (not even on a call, just sometimes private messaging on discord about details or coordinates) as they clean up some shit on neil’s crazy server. they also work super hard on a map room (like RTGame’s server’s crazy fuckin map room holy SHIT goals)

- then all of a sudden andrew announces that he and neil are doing a fuckin mission F0X letsplay together, when he’s openly hated on the foxes’ obsession with Mission F0X, and neil has refused to work with the foxes because he’s scared of his new-found popularity.

- everyone, once more, is like ????????

- unbeknownst to literally everyone on the planet, they’ve met up. neil explained why he’s avoiding kevin, even if his father’s dead, and he’s technically safe. the moriyamas own his ass and he can’t out himself like that. andrew thinks he’s being ridiculous because he’s never signed a contract and there’s nothing legally binding him to play for riko and moriyama gaming.

- i just have this scene in my head where andrew has killed neil’s fox companion, carved “u r hot” onto it and chucking it at Neil’s head (who, mind you, is neil’s interpretation of his appearance, but god-knows he’s watered down his hotness because he’s so oblivious and andrew hates him)

- neil just laughs and tells andrew to pick him up at 7. andrew uses half of his health to revive his stupid fox companion, just like neil knew he would.

- andrew’s the only one streaming this episode: they take it in turns. he’s blushing like mad.

- nicky’s yelling THATS GAY and aaron is shaking his head and kevin is still Fuming that neil has refused to work with him but will work (and hook up) with andrew

- eventually wymack sponsors him to play the prerelease of the Full Game and neil meets up with the rest of the foxes absOLUTELY DEBAUCHED BECAUSE HE HITCHED A RIDE WITH ANDREW AND THEY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT

- and everyones like. yep. okay. this kid managed to wrangle the monster of online gaming, makes him blush on stream and now walks in with their hands entwined like they’ve been dating for years. Respect.

aaaaaaaaand yea thats all for now gnight

#andreil #gamer au #twitch streamer au!#andrew minyard #neil josten #youtuber au #?#technically?#rtgame #callmecarson #the foxhole court #all for the game #jem writes

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sourwolfstories · 6 years ago

Text

hogwarts/harry potter fic rec list

Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble by pandacowhipster

When potions prodigy Stiles blows up one cauldron too many during one of his ‘experiments’, he gets assigned to making Wolfsbane Potion for the new groundskeeper. Which wouldn’t be so bad if the guy wasn’t you know, terrifying.

Save a Broom, Ride a Quidditch Player by 42hrb

Derek and Stiles have been mutually pining for each other for years, Cora and Lydia are sick of it.

apparecium by bleep0bleep

Derek is an Auror investigating a cult that hangs out at this new restaurant in Diagon Alley, Roscoe's, when he runs into someone he thought he'd never see again.

Will he be able to stop a rising threat to the wizarding world-- and more importantly, will he be able to make amends with the one who got away?

Lepidopterophobia by hazelandglasz

From a list of prompts : "you walked in on me practicing for datda in an empty classroom, and have now inadvertently discovered that my boggart takes the form of a butterfly, please stop laughing"

Untamed by rosepetals42

Of course, the transfer kid gets mentioned because transfers are rare, but the news isn’t that exciting. In fact, according to Laura, no one even seems to know his first name. The only thing anyone has really figured out about him is that he’s American. And that’s not exactly hard because he obviously has an accent.

The only thing Derek really knows is that, despite other reports, he seems quiet enough, prefers to work alone, and has the most amazing shade of amber eyes that Derek has ever seen.

Not that he’s looking. Obviously.

OR: A Harry Potter AU where Stiles is a Slytherin transfer student and Derek is the grumpy Gryffindor who falls in love with him.

There are also potions, elves, and falcons involved. Oh, and illegal use of magic. Obviously.

chantes une nouvelle chanson pour moi by pr1nc3ssp34ch (dallisons)

Stiles Stilinski has been at Hogwarts since his first year, okay. That's six years of experience. He knows how Hogwarts works, how it operates. He's not quite an expert or anything, but he's pretty damn sure he knows this school.

So why the hell have they waited like a million years to start taking transfer students?

And why is he the only one who can't get a French date?

Confrontation and Confession by literaryoblivion

After the third owl from his son detailing how his Transfiguration teacher has given him detention and the reasons why, Stiles starts to get suspicious of this professor.

He Blinded Me With Library Science by mklutz

Stiles blinks. “Right, the reading room. Do you have your, uh ...library card?” he asks. He’s never been able to make that sound normal and not vaguely dirty when he actually means wand.

Green and Gold by AllTheseSquaresMakeACircle

Derek had a lot to consider going into his fifth year of Hogwarts. His parents were pressuring him to make good grades and to preform well on his O.W.L.'s. They were a family that worked in the Ministry after all. But he was more concerned with Quidditch. And his grades showed. Well, Transfiguration did anyway. So, he was going to get a tutor. That was okay. He just wasn't expecting it to be one Stiles Stilinski.

Or, the Harry Potter AU that popped into my head that refused to leave. It's random and messy and weird. And that's okay.

Mother of Dragons by Lissadiane

Since Hogwarts had opened its doors to werewolves, many Hale children had apparently come through, wary and angry, refusing to socialize with the other students. And one by one, they’d been sorted into Slytherin, obviously, with the odd Ravenclaw to mix things up.

And then along came little Derek Hale, who’d barely gotten his ass on the stool before the hat was calling out Gryffindor.

Everyone thought it was funny, even now, when Derek was in his seventh year. Stiles, though, found it fascinating.

It helped, of course, that Derek was two years older and hotter than the sun.

Get Me In Trouble by scottmcniceass

Stiles is in his seventh and finale year at Hogwarts. Things were supposed to go smoothly-- he'd work hard, hang out with his friends, the usual. Unfortunately for him, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher has it out for him. To make matters worse, he happens to be the most attractive person Stiles had ever laid eyes on.

Pink Is For Pining (You, You, Nothing But You) by clotpolesonly

“You know you could just ask him out, right?” Scott asked.

Stiles stuffed the toast in his mouth and hoped he wasn’t blushing. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you have a ginormous crush on him.”

“I do not, shut up,” Stiles hissed as well as he could around a mouthful of toast.

“Your pink hair says differently,” Scott sing-songed at him.

***

In which Stiles is a supremely socially awkward metamorphmagus with a crush, Derek is a quietly pining werewolf, and Scott and Lydia are done with their stubbornness and stupidity.

Starting Now I’m Starting Over by skoosiepants

Stiles is surprised, when he accidentally tumbles into Professor Hale’s legs on a mad dash down the halls, that Derek leans down and scoops him up and…cuddles him into his arms.

Or-

Stiles may or may not have gotten his professorship at Hogwarts because he can turn into a cat.

derek’s magic ships it by trilliastra

It starts with a bang. A bang and then someone cursing and Stiles is up in less than a second.

He just wanted to have a peaceful night of sleep after having to deal with stupid Fifth Years pulling a prank on Madam Morell and she snapping at everyone and everything that moved.

It was a fucking horrible day and he’s so not in the mood to deal with someone breaking into his house.

Especially not this someone. “Derek?” Okay, Stiles had dreams like this before, he admits it. Derek Hale apparating into his house and kissing him breathless and then taking him to bed and fucking him until Stiles couldn’t remember his name? Fuck yeah. But he never really thought it was going to happen.

Love Potion Number Stiles by Menacherie

Genim is eleven, and still Genim, but he's eleven and all his dreams are coming true

Genim is eleven and his eyes are covered by a big hat that talks and all he wants is to be just like his mom, follow her footsteps.

Instead the hat calls out Hufflepuff, but it makes Genim happy because he still has a huge family now, a family that isn’t his by blood, but through loyalty.

Call It Magic by teenwolf-lit

Hogwarts AU in which Stiles is the school's Healer, and Derek is the DADA professor/Quidditch Coach

Hot Summer in Diagon Alley by LadyDrace

Derek pays his usual pre-term visit to Stiles' stationary shop in Diagon Alley, but this year things turn out a little differently than normal.

Veils and Moonbeams by kaistrex (weishen)

The fox scampers towards him and now Derek can make out a scatter of black speckles dotted in its fur, most notably in a distinct pattern across its fluffy white cheeks. The same distinct pattern Derek has spent most of his Hufflepuff/Slytherin classes tracing with his eyes.

Derek stares. Memories from his third-year Transfiguration lessons are coming back to him, about Animagi and identifying marks. But Stiles isn't an Animagus. He can’t be. Stiles is the class clown and there’s no way he would have been able to keep this quiet, not to mention to be an unregistered Animagus would result in time in Azkaban. Stiles may be smart-mouthed and headstrong but he’s not stupid.

Is he?

Because if anyone would become an (illegal) Animagus to surprise the boy they liked, it would be Stiles Stilinski.

climbing up the walls with you by trilliastra

It’s pretty much a friends with benefits thing, except Stiles is not sure they are friends. Sure, Derek stopped being a jerk to Scott, he even lets Stiles copy his Potions homework sometimes, but aside from some chit-chat while getting dressed, they don’t really talk much.

Still, sex with Derek?

Brilliant.

A Lion’s Guide To Getting The Badger by whatthefuck

There is no way he, Stiles Stilinski, is going over to the Hufflepuff table to ask Derek Hale to the Yule Ball. Not only is he a glorious seventh year to Stiles' measly fifth, but he could have any member of the student population of Hogwarts on his wonderfully toned arms in three weeks time, so why would he pick Stiles?

The Boy Who Pined by lupus

"That will be your legacy, ‘Derek Hale: The Boy Who Pined’, I like it, it suits you.” “Laura I don’t care if we’re related if you say that out loud ever again, I will shank you.”

Hogwarts AU in which Derek likes Stiles but is too emotionally constipated to actually do anything about it.

it does not do to dwell on dreams (and forget to live) by HaleyElizabeth

After years spent abroad, Derek Hale is called back to the United Kingdom, and offered a job at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as the new Care of Magical Creatures professor. After begrudgingly accepting, Derek quickly realizes that his students are a lot more than he signed up for- one of them in particular.

#sterek #sterek fic rec #sterek fanfic #sterek fanfiction #fic rec list #hogwarts au #harry potter au

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eternalnight8806-3 · 5 years ago

Text

Ch 3 The Cat and the Fox

Category: Romance, Modern College AU

Rating: Will be Explicit but for now I’ll just say Mature for language and drinking

Pairing: InuKag

Words: 2,357

Also available on ff.net and AO3

Tag list: @keichanz @noviceotakus-blog @hinezumi @morikothehalfangel @cstorm86 @digital-art-monster @cammysansstuff

Enjoy!

Hey, I have a kind of personal question for you

InuYasha rubbed his tired eyes and stretched. He had been staring at his laptop for the last 3 hours straight trying to finish this damn midterm paper. The sound of his phone buzzing caught his attention. Who the hell would be texting him at 2 a.m.? Miroku was downstairs with the other idiots watching some stupid Netflix show he never could get into about a women's prison. The goofy grin that spread across his face upon seeing her name was completely accidental, or so he would tell you.

Shoot

What happened to your mom? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I was just sitting here thinking about it and I realized you never told me how she died. But it's totally fine if you don't want to tell me. I swear.

InuYasha almost laughed out loud at her obvious text babbling. It's cool. She had breast cancer.

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. It must have been so hard to lose her that way.

Honestly, it wasn't long after her diagnosis. She was already stage 4 by the time they caught it. They tried everything they could but a month later she was gone. It was hard. Still is. I miss her a lot. She was my rock

Yeah. I don't know what I would do without my mom. She's the kindest woman ever. She's always supported me in everything. You never mentioned your dad though?

He died when I was a baby. I never knew him.

Wow.

Yeah. Hey what are you doing up anyway? I thought you had to work this weekend?

I do. Couldn't sleep. My brain just won't shut off.

Missed me that much in 24 hours?

You're incorrigible

Always

You don't have a humble bone in your body do you?

Maybe one

* eyeroll emoji *

What time do you have to be up?

In exactly 2.5 hours. I have to catch the 5:45 train to get there on time.

Jesus woman! Go to sleep!

I already told you I can't

Do I need to come over and sing you a lullaby?

InuYasha regretted that the instant he hit send. She would definitely think he was total creepy bastard now.

Lol. You don't know where I live

He hesitated before typing again. Fine. I'll call you. I hope you like shitty renditions of twinkle twinkle little star.

* a series of crying laughing emojis *

Can't be worse than my little brother trying to sing to our cat Buyo.

You have a brother?

Yep

Me too. Well a ½ brother. Older. And an asshole.

Oh yeah? Ever talk to him?

Not really. Like I said he's an asshole.

Got it. Foxy doesn't like his big bro

InuYasha's eyebrow quirked. Foxy?

Ummm... yeah???

What is that?

Ummmm

Your name?

Is it now wench? ;)

Ha. Ha.

Hey, what do you call me?

Catwoman

I suppose that makes sense.

Why do you call me Foxy? ;)

Because of your costume

Suuuuuuure

You're obviously delusional

Am I?

Severely.

Well you're the one talking to me at 2:45 in the morning

Yeah. I know. I need a padded room next to yours

So I can sing twinkle twinkle for you?

OMG stop! I'm going to wake up my room mate!

Sorry...

You really should get some sleep wench.

I know.

Night Foxy

Night wench

InuYasha couldn't sleep after that. He felt guilty for keeping her up, even though she had texted him first. Inane images scrolled past his eyes as he delved into the internet black hole, searching for something to occupy his mind. Finally, when he realized it was about 5 minutes past the time she said she had to be awake, he decided to make sure she had gotten up ok.

Wakey wakey wench

Kagome groaned aloud at the sound of her alarm. She tried to roll over and go back to sleep but then her phone dinged.

Don't wanna

C'mon. You gotta. That job you love so much is beckoning

Damn you

You're cranky in the morning ain't ya?

Only for people who won't let me sleep

But you have to go babysit brats

Uggggh. Fine. I'm up. Happy?

Are you actually up? Like out of bed?

Kagome put her feet on the floor next her bed. Yes...

Don't believe you

She sent him a picture of her feet on the floor.

Sexy

Shut up jerk

Get ready for work wench

I would if someone would quit distracting me

I'm distracting huh? ;)

You're maddening

Only for you wench

I'm getting dressed now

I'll be right over

Ha. Ha.

Again, I remind you, you don't know where I live

I'll sniff it out

Very funny

Seriously, I'm up and getting dressed now

Go back to sleep

She pulled off her nightclothes and tossed them in the direction of her hamper as she made her way over to the closet. Pulling out a sweater and jeans, she made her way back over to the bed where she'd laid her phone.

Never did

What? Why?

Just distracted

Kagome wasn't sure what to make of that, so she decided to ignore it as she pulled the jeans up over her hips. Then go to sleep. Weirdo.

Only after I know you get to work ok

You're nuts. I won't get there for another hour!

So?

Go to sleep.

Nope. Gotta know you're safe.

The sweater made it's way over her head and down to her waist. Overprotective much? She grabbed her hairbrush and set to work on her tangled mane.

Only of cheeky wenches

Oh now I'm cheeky? The hairbrush returned to her nightstand.

Yep

Kagome picked up her purse and keys before quietly exiting her room. I'm leaving now. Go to sleep

I told you, not til you're at work

Kagome didn't respond during her 20 minute walk to the subway station. She hoped he would fall asleep waiting for her to text back. No such luck.

Oi wench! Where'd you go?

To the train

Hahaha

Cheeky wench

You on the train?

I am now.

Good. How long of a ride is it?

20ish minutes

What do you normally do on the train at too damn early o'clock?

Lol. Well, listen to music, or read. Sometimes I people watch but there aren't too many people on the train this early on Sunday.

People watch?

Yeah. People will do the weirdest things when they think no one is watching them. I've seen people practically doing it right in front of me before

Doing what exactly? ;)

Shut up

Never wench

You make it too easy

Do I now?

Yep.

Will you just go to sleep?

You at work?

Then I'm gonna go with no

How did I see that coming?

Idk maybe because I've said it like 1000 times already

Alright alright I get it.

' Now approaching 10 th street station' came the automated voice over the loudspeaker. Kagome stood and slid her phone into her pocket to keep it from falling out of her hand as she exited the train. Since the station was nearly deserted it was easy for her to maneuver her way out to the street to make the short walk to work. Once outside, she saw that the sun was now fully on the horizon, creating beautiful hues of pink and orange. Stopping for a moment, she smiled and took it all in. The crisp autumn air whipped her raven locks around her shoulders. Seeing the sun between the trees, Kagome couldn't resist the urge to snap a photo with her phone and send it to her new self-proclaimed watchdog.

Isn't it so beautiful Foxy?

Just like you wench ;)

Kagome snorted as she walked and texted at the same time. You don't know what I look like

Sure I do. Long black silky hair, eyes the color of dark chocolate, ivory skin. See? I know

Still, you've not seen my face

Don't have to

She didn't know how to respond to that. Lucky for her though, she rounded the last corner before coming up to Yoro North's front door. She took a picture of her hand opening said door and sent it to him.

All safe. Please sleep now? I'd feel awful if you didn't get any sleep because of me

Not your fault wench. I'm a big boy. But I promise I'll close my eyes now. Have a good day at work.

Thanks Foxy. Sweet dreams!

Kagome tucked her phone back into her pocket as she walked right past Ayame's death glare without giving the girl a second glance. As she stepped around the corner to make her way back to the classroom, she found herself cemented smack dab into Koga's chest.

“Whoa there, sweetheart!” He said as he grabbed her shoulders and gently pulled her back. “You alright?” He asked, genuine concern in his voice.

Kagome shook her head to clear the fog from having the wind knocked from her slightly. Looking up into his sky blue eyes, she didn't miss the smirk that crossed his features at her antics. “I-I'm fine, Koga. Thanks. Hey, actually there was something I wanted to run by you if you've got a minute?”

“Sure thing, darling. Step into my office?”

Kagome had noticed his use of several terms of endearment in the last few days, but she didn't mind it so she didn't say anything to her new boss about it. Instead, she walked into his office and sat herself down without being prompted. Koga came around her to sit himself on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms lazily and smiling down at her.

“What can I do for ya, love?”

“Well, I've noticed that we don't ever take the kids anywhere outside of this building and its grounds. Is there a reason for that?”

Koga's face took a decidedly less happy appearance. “Kagome, this building is all that stands between these kids and the outside world. Humans aren't exactly welcoming to our kind, with the exception of the rare person such as yourself. We don't take the kids anywhere for their own protection but also for yours. You've seen how they can be with eachother. Imagine if they did that to a human? The backlash would be catastrophic.”

Kagome frowned. “So, they never get to leave here? Ever?”

“We occasionally take them to other facilities to interact with other children, but for the most part, yeah, they stay here.”

“And it's absolutely out of the question to take them to say a park?”

Koga's eyebrow quirked up in interest. “A park? Kagome, we have outside areas here for them.”

“I know that, Koga, but they should interact with other kids. Even human ones. I think it'll be good for them to socialize outside of their comfort zones. Some of them desperately need it. Besides, imagine if you were on the front lines of demon-human coexistence?”

Koga sighed deeply. “Kagome, I wish things were different but they're just not. I can't allow you to put the kids or yourself in that kind of danger. I'm sorry.”

The look of supreme disappointment that crossed her features nearly caused the wolf to cave. “If you say so, Koga. I'll go relieve Ginta and Hakkaku now.” She stood and exited his office with slightly slumped shoulders. She had been so sure she could convince him to let her take the kids out for a little while. Sighing, she decided she would just have to keep working him down until he agreed. Eventually, he would see her reasoning.

xxx

The next two weeks almost flew by for both InuYasha and Kagome. Even in the midst of studying for their impending final exams in a couple weeks, the pair never let a night pass without talking. It became part of both of their routines. They both looked forward to hearing from the other. Something that both of their respective room mates had not failed to notice.

“InuYasha, are you ever actually going to meet this girl?” Miroku asked his hanyou friend one Saturday afternoon.

“I have, jackass.”

Rolling his eyes, Miroku huffed. “You know what I mean. Sango and I have actually been on actual dates and you know, know eachother's names.”

“Bully for you. Now fuck off.” InuYasha practically yelled as he tried to stick his headphones on his ears.

Sighing, he took his friend's obvious hint and went downstairs to meet Sango. Upon seeing her leaning against the banister, fingers looped in her jeans, he couldn't help but smile. She smiled back and asked, “Everything ok up there? I thought I heard someone yelling.”

Miroku took his girlfriend's hand and went to exit the house. “Yeah. Just my room mate being an idiot.”

Sango raised an eyebrow in question. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. He met a girl at the Halloween party but has yet to actually learn her name or even see her face outside of whatever mask she was wearing. They just text constantly.”

Sango's eyes widened. “Th-they do?”

Miroku didn't hide his puzzled expression. “Yeeeeeah...”

“Um... well...”

Stopping mid step on their trek to the campus food court, Miroku eyed his girlfriend suspiciously. “Sango?”

Biting her lip, the girl looked down at the concrete. “I think your room mate is texting my room mate.”

Eyes widening to nearly the size of saucers, Miroku burst out laughing. “You're kidding!?”

Shaking her head, Sango responded, “Nope. She calls him Foxy. I guess he was wearing a fox costume or something?”

Miroku was nearly on the ground by this point. “Jesus! Yep. That's him.”

“I don't see how this is so funny.”

Finally calming himself, Miroku placed his hands on her shoulders, “Because my dear Sango, this cannot be purely coincidental. Maybe the strings of fate had a hand in this, eh?”

Sango rolled her eyes. “You're an idiot. What are we gonna do? I can't just lie to her.”

Placing a finger on his lips thoughtfully, Miroku had a dangerous gleam in his eyes. “Mayhaps you won't have to my dear...”

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#inuyasha #inukag #inuyasha fanfic #inuyasha fanfiction #my writing #my fanfic #my fanfiction #modern au #college au #the cat and the fox #chapter 3

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a-room-with-a-mew · 6 years ago

Photo

SCOOP by Evelyn Waugh

‘The funniest novel ever written about journalism’… I don’t know; is it just me or does this not really sell it? Is journalism a natural place we go to for laughs? I mean.. Yeah, there are comic-features writers, and journos who write books and scripts and maybe even do stand up. But in terms of fiction, of stories, I’d almost always think of journalism as high drama, a noble pursuit like in All the President’s Men or Superman. Waugh is interested in hackism. Okay he is indulging in a little self-parody here, as a writer himself, but for quite a time, this book feels like a long in-joke, a nudge to a colleague. While it works well as a series of jokes, sketches, and odd-ball characters in crazy situations, the fact that this is a novel means that we are invited to rest our feet upon the rocky conceit of a war in a far-off, fictional foreign land, which may or may not reflect a real war/ place. And additionally, as the place and people aren’t real, only ‘inspired by’, Waugh can say whatever he bally likes about them with impunity. A bit like The Life of Brian, only well – not as funny! Tall order though of course.

Let’s dive in. I managed to stick with and read SCOOP on my third attempt after owning the novel for years. Like a lot of books, the cover mystifies. Who are these? Mrs Stitch presumably? There’s only two watery female characters in the book so must be her. She doesn’t figure much so the cynic in me thinks the publishers are attempting to glam up the story.. With her fur and hat and the moody black and white. Reminds me of an edition of Brideshead I saw once in a shop – the cover had a cartoon slinky flapper girl – the hat, the stole, elbow-length gloves, cigarette holder, diamonds and whatnot. Missing the point a bit I think! So! Here we have two snoots getting on a plane. This doesn’t happen in the book. Natch.

Story

Likely the appeal or not of this story will depend upon whether you like action / adventure stories and seek thrills and fantastic places and daring endeavours. Of course you do! Well, I don’t. Or at least – I don’t tend to read them. Give me Indiana Jones on the big screen – but I don’t know if I’d read Alexander Fleming or the da Vinci Code (again). In the books I read, people tend to sit around thinking, or drive thinking, or potter around the kitchen, thinking, or fall in love but not realize it or declare it, or holiday and develop the self, but very subtly, or befall intensely personal disasters, make human connexions that you have to squint to see.

Suffice to say I loved, say, A Handful of Dust to distraction. Brilliant book. What actually happened? What was the plot? Ahm… Well.. Hard to describe, the slow, tragic dissolution of a marriage. That makes it sound boring. It isn’t!! SCOOP kind of is, and yet the action doesn’t let up for a paragraph.

Waugh – probably joyfully – breaks the golden rule of writing by NOT introducing his main character in the first page / chapter. Tries to fox us, he does. Very clever – in fact the whole book is, very clever: maybe that’s why it left me behind in the dust. Okay, so though some administrative cock-up, our hero, William Boot - a very sheltered country-squire sort who generally never leaves his decaying mansion full of ancient relatives – he’s never described physically, but go ahead and imagine the plus-fours, Norfolk jacket, pristine boots, hunting hat, moustache - finds himself sent, as a foreign correspondent, to a war-torn country of which he has never heard. Promising premise.

What follows is William’s whirlwind adventure of being summoned to his new post, preparing to go to Africa, complete with the bare essentials - collapsible boat and hockey-sticks and back-street passports. Everything is charged back to the paper – The Beast – and so there is a real consumer-fetish going on here too! As William is one of those old-fashioned toffs who own great estates but are somehow stony broke.

Much of the novel is taken up with travelling – to this fabled Ishmaelia, which was initially founded by an American family called the Jacksons, and various in-fighting and coups have taken place within the dynasty for generations. Now they’re out of power, and socialism is threatening to sneak in via the Russians. I do believe? And there’s much interest in this particular country from other well-to-do nations. Of course this doesn’t come about for a while, and for most of the mission, William wanders around hearing snippets and spending the paper’s money. Is Waugh indulging in a little revenge fantasy? William is incapable as a journalist, but just happens to be in the right place at the right time and know the right people, and comes through with the climactic glory of the story – not the exposure of the truth, but a good story with lots of COLOUR.

Characterization

Okay well, as I’ve mentioned somewhere, Waugh is not a writer whose strongest suit is characterization – it’s his writing, wording that shines, and we’ll get to that in a minute. And yet the characters are the reason we generally love a story, no? Or at least – if you are interested in the human psyche, the intricacies of human relations, the effect of surroundings upon the humans therein. But for Waugh, his love is words and the ways he can string them beautifully: he sees the novel "not as an investigation of character, but as an exercise in the use of language.” An exercise! Like you do at school.

William Boot, the protagonist, is so wan and inconsequential that his mistaken namesake is introduced first, and more memorably. He reminds me of Paul Pennyfeather from Decline and Fall – he is only there to go along with the plot, adding nothing to it with his own input, but only to observe the zany characters around him. And Paul annoyed me so much! The way the others were breaking curfew in college, and Paul blandly took the blame without a fight. And he floats through the rest of it. Although William differs from Paul in one way – though William is rather pushed into this job, and takes the glamour and action in his stride, he retains a strong and immovable affection for his dreary old homestead, and that is the true love of the story – his affection for the country-side and desire to walk “feather-footed through the plashy fen.” William says no – and he’s such a blah character that it truly surprises and delights when he does.

At one stage he purports to be in love with a woman – she does him out of a load of money and a boat, in which he helps her and her husband escape. It’s not as noble as it sounds! Each and every character in this story is out for themselves. If they can’t see past their nose, why ought we invest?

SCOOP has memorable caricatures – larger-than-life, humorous, and distinctive, but they are there to portray ideas, not to have their own agency and accountability and foibles. They run around building and holding in place Waugh’s ideas, they exist to show the deftness of his pen, they are satire, they are text.

Writing

Brilliant as always, and makes the reader wish that Waugh’s themes and characters were as wonderful and satisfying as his prose.

“The immense trees which encircled Boot Magna Hall, shaded its drives and rides, and stood (tastefully disposed at the whim of some forgotten, provincial predecessor at Repton), singly and in groups about the park, had suffered, some from ivy, some from lightening, some from the various malignant disorders that vegetation is heir to, but all principally from old age. Some were supported with trusses and crutches of iron, some were filled with cement; some, even now, in June, could show only a handful of green leaves at their extremities. Sap ran thin and slow; a gutsy night always brought down a litter of dead timber.”

Now who else is going to describe a group of trees so well? Not only are they so very clear to picture, he has given them history, and in doing the history of the house, the family, and possibly the decaying aristocracy itself. I bet the fields are thick with meadowsweet and all!

Waugh has lots of fun with the journalistic jargon; the idea that an article must have news, but to sell, it must have colour – love that term: it must have some literary merit, some artistic verve, really appeal to the reader. Elsewhere William keeps getting increasingly frantic and mysteriously coded cables from the newspaper offices in London, going to despair because he’s not providing any stories he promised and running up enormous bills. Finally he manages: “Please don’t worry quite safe and well in fact rather enjoying things weather improving will cable again if there’s any news Yours Boot.” And later “Nothing much has happened except the president who has been imprisoned in his own palace.” The downplaying is so dry and delightful. I wish I knew what was going on. Maybe that’s the point!

#evelyn waugh #scoop #book review #booklr #books #penguin modern classics #20th century literature

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btshogwartsauheadcanons · 6 years ago

Text

The Chaos Next Door (pt. 3, continued)

“Man, I think the rice cakes I just ate flipped over three times on that ride,” Taehyung groaned once he and Yoongi got off the rollercoaster.

“Make it five times,” Yoongi added, stepping out of the ride. He felt himself stumble slightly before Taehyung wrapped an arm around his shoulder to steady him. “Th-thanks,” he stammered and righted himself.

“So, what do you want to get on next?” Taehyung asked.

“Maybe something that involves less spinning and moving and being jumbled around,” Yoongi said, patting his messy hair down a bit. He and Taehyung both agreed to go on as many rides as they could before the night ended. Of course, that pretty much led to them screaming their heads off for the entire night.

“Hey, how about that?” Taehyung pointed in the direction of the Ferris wheel. “It does involve spinning but it looks pretty slow.”

“Sounds good,” Yoongi agreed.

“It’s a good way to end tonight too,” Taehyung added, smiling at Yoongi.

“Right,” he nodded slowly. Now that he mentioned it, Yoongi found himself checking his watch. It was almost ten o’ clock. Hours had passed by since they entered the theme park but it felt as if the whole night was rushing in to end already. And Yoongi definitely wanted to pause for a while.

But before he knew it, Taehyung was already pulling him in the direction of the Ferris wheel. Yoongi found himself unable to speak or pay attention to anything at all except for the warmth of Taehyung’s hand in his and the sound of his voice. He was talking about something, a childhood memory maybe. Although, even his voice sounded distant and muffled.

Yoongi felt his thoughts and feelings unravelling even faster as the night drew to a close. The flow of events he was stuck in resembled a symphony which was now in its climax. He could practically hear the instruments playing at top performance level. The outro was approaching, but Yoongi still had no idea what the melody was.

And then, Taehyung led him inside one of the carriages in the Ferris wheel and Yoongi was pulled back to reality. Taehyung sat in front of him with his fox beanbag pillow on his lap.

“So, this must be your first time on a Ferris wheel too,” he said. Yoongi leaned back, trying to make himself a bit comfortable as the Ferris wheel began to spin.

“It is,” he nodded. Taehyung looked out the window.

“I really love the view outside of Ferris wheels like this,” he grinned, leaning his head against the window. “It’s nice seeing all the city lights and the stars too. In rollercoasters you never really get to appreciate the view.”

Yoongi forced himself to relax and looked out the window as well. Taehyung was right, the view from the top was amazing. Slowly, he felt himself unwind just a bit more.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Yoongi looked at Taehyung.

“That café?” Taehyung asked.

“The maintenance closet,” Yoongi grinned at the memory.

“Why the maintenance closet of all places?” Taehyung laughed.

“I guess since we’re together in an enclosed space,” Yoongi shrugged. “But I guess we’re beyond the ‘annoying neighbors’ level by now.”

“We can still go back to that, if you want,” Taehyung raised an eyebrow.

“No thanks,” Yoongi smiled and shook his head. “I… I like where we are now.”

“You know, you are one of the few people I’ve met personally who hasn’t disrespected me for being what I am,” Taehyung smiled. Yoongi felt his breath catch in his throat. “I know it sounds stupid but it means a lot.”

“You’ve got to stop thinking that the things you say sound stupid,” Yoongi shook his head. “But, you’re welcome. You’ve done quite a lot for me too."

“It’s just a couple of chores,” Taehyung waved him off. “I need to learn those things anyway.”

Yoongi shook his head. “It was more than that.”

Maybe riding all those theme park rides jiggled Yoongi’s brain in the right way because somehow, he started seeing things. The enclosed space around him and Taehyung melted away and reformed itself into how his apartment looked. There was Yoongi on the piano, trying to play with a broken hand and a broken dream, and there was Taehyung right in front of him, trying his best to mend the broken pieces together.

And when Yoongi did the very thing he did least, asking for help, Taehyung didn’t hesitate and took him into his arms. Yoongi remember being so afraid before of the pressure and the expectations and the possibility of never loving music like he would again. But instead of forcing him into things like his family did, Taehyung reminded him it was okay to feel that way. Yoongi was only human after all.

Only a knot remained in his tangled ball of feelings, and now Yoongi was tugging it loose. The outro to the entire symphony of their night was right on the bottom of his fingertips.

“What do you mean?” Taehyung asked. Yoongi looked up at him, wondering how everything, from his childhood to the terrible night of the gala to his lost love for the piano, somehow led to Taehyung causing him to hear music again.

And eventually, for him to finally say:

“I’m in love with you, Kim Taehyung.”

…

Taehyung could care less if the Ferris wheel detached from its stand on the ground and started rolling across the theme park. Yoongi was looking him dead in the eye with the most earnest expression on his face and a slight flush on his face which Taehyung now realized was probably from something other than the cold.

He had practiced what to say when he confessed to Yoongi for days but somehow, all of that disappeared.

And somehow, he found himself bursting into tears.

“W-wait, why are you crying?” Yoongi stammered in surprise. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Taehyung sniffed and wiped his eyes before managing a smile. “I just… really thought it was going to be a one-sided thing.”

“Does that mean..?” Now it was Yoongi’s turn to look shocked. “You—”

“I’m very, very in love with you, you stupid annoying old turtle,” Taehyung nodded his head, laughing as he wiped a few more tears from his eyes. God, he probably looked like a mess right now.

“You’re lucky I love you enough to let you use that stupid nickname,” Yoongi laughed.

“How did we even get here?” Taehyung shook his head. “Weeks ago, we were practically each other’s chaos next-door.”

“I guess now you’re my chaos next-door,” Yoongi grinned. Taehyung flushed as he stared at his lips.

“Can you please kiss me?” he asked, or rather, begged. “I don’t think I can handle another minute of this.”

Yoongi’s adorable, shy, embarrassed smile appeared again making Taehyung inch forward to be closer to him. “I better not keep you waiting then,” Yoongi said softly, reaching a hand out and running his thumb across Taehyung’s lower lip.

“God, you really have to be such a tease about this,” Taehyung rolled his eyes. Yoongi let out a breathy laugh, making Taehyung finally give in and kiss him first.

And it’s unlike anything he’s ever imagined. There was that sudden spike of adrenaline Taehyung normally felt whenever he played a really good horror game. And then the feeling of Yoongi’s lips on his cut through all of that, bringing a sense of comfort and human warmth. Yoongi’s fingers were resting on his forearm, playing his invisible piano again. Taehyung felt himself smile slightly as he kissed Yoongi, imagining what kind of melody he was playing in his head.

Jungkook said his rollercoaster kiss with Jimin was quite thrilling, but with the lights of the city spread out below them and the stars above them, Taehyung could easily see that Ferris wheel kisses were just as great.

…

“Tan tan tan tan tan… TA! Tan tan tan tan tan… TA!” Taehyung sang loudly as he strolled into the bedroom. Yoongi groaned at the sound and pulled his blankets way over his head. Sleeping over at Taehyung’s apartments did have its perks, mainly getting to cuddle with his very affectionate boyfriend or making sure he got appropriate hours of sleep in between making videos. A downside to that though was happening at the moment.

“Yoongi! Wake up!!” Taehyung yelled, lying down on his bed next to Yoongi. Then, Taehyung proceeded to remove his blanket and plant kisses all over his face while saying “Wake up!” in between. Yoongi couldn’t help but bury his face in Taehyung’s shirt. Okay, maybe this wasn’t such a downside after all.

“Alright, I’m awake,” he grumbled.

“Are you really?” Taehyung chuckled, wrapping one of his very long legs around him.

“Well, it is kind of hard to sleep in this situation,” Yoongi gazed up at Taehyung.

“You’re way too sassy this morning,” Taehyung smiled down at him. Yoongi could tell that he slept well since there weren’t any dark circles under his eyes and his voice wasn’t hoarse either. Not that Yoongi entirely hated the sound of his slightly hoarse and sleepy voice in the morning.

“Those face masks really worked, huh?” he said, stroking the side of Taehyung’s very smooth cheek.

“Yeah, they really are good,” Taehyung said. “Even if they did look kind of stupid.”

“I never thought someone would even think of making an elephant-shaped face mask,” Yoongi muttered. Taehyung bought some yesterday from the store because he said it looked funny. When they tried it on last night, Taehyung had to sit facing away from him since he kept on laughing when he saw the face mask on Yoongi. That didn’t stop them from taking a few selfies though.

“Come on, you better get up,” Taehyung nudged him. “Jimin and Jungkook are already here for the video.”

“Right, the video,” Yoongi nodded and finally sat up. He yawned and rubbed his eyes a bit first before following Taehyung out the door.

“Oh good, they’re wearing clothes,” Jungkook sighed out of relief. He and Jimin were in the kitchen busy making pancakes. Yoongi could easily tell from the stack of perfect-looking pancakes to the stack of semi perfect-looking pancakes to the stack of amoeba-shaped pancakes which ones were made by Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. Smiling to himself, Yoongi grabbed a plate and placed two amoeba pancakes on it.

“Shut up, we’ve only been together for a week,” Taehyung blushed and sat down by the counter.

“Yeah, don’t be so perverted,” Jimin nudged Jungkook.

“You’re the one who mentioned it!” he protested.

“So, you have everything we need for the video?” Yoongi asked Taehyung.

“Yup!” he nodded. “Bleaching kit, gloves, hair dye, brushes, combs, the works.”

“And you’re sure Jungkook and Jimin know what they’re doing,” Yoongi added.

“Very,” Taehyung smiled reassuringly. “I can’t wait to see how your hair will look later,” he gushed.

“I must really love you a lot,” Yoongi shook his head, smiling nonetheless before eating a forkful of amoeba pancake. It didn’t taste too bad.

Two hours later, he was sitting in the middle of Taehyung’s living room wearing one of his old, black t-shirts. Jungkook and Jimin busied themselves with putting on their gloves and preparing the bleach while Taehyung was fiddling with his video camera.

“Are you doing the intro already?” Yoongi asked.

“Yeah,” Taehyung nodded, stepping away from the camera. “Just stay there and be your usual adorable self,” he grinned at Yoongi who rolled his eyes but did a flower cup pose anyway.

“Perfect!” Taehyung exclaimed. He switched on the video camera. “Recording in 3… 2…1! Hello everyone! My name is Gamer V and welcome to another video wherein today, me and my boyfriend are going to have our hair dyed.”

Yoongi felt his face flush slightly at the sound of the word ‘boyfriend’ but waved hello anyway at the camera while Taehyung did his intro. After they got together, Taehyung said that he really wanted his subscribers and fans to know about is relationship. Yoongi understood. In a way, Taehyung’s subscribers were like his family as well since they got him to where he was now. Yoongi did feel a bit scared that Taehyung would receive too much backlash for having a boyfriend but so far, with the exception of some haters, his subscribers were happy about how open he was.

Yoongi found himself loving the Gamer V fan community as well, especially after all the cute fanart they did of him and Taehyung. When Taehyung posted a short video of Yoongi playing the piano on Instagram, his followers loved it. Yoongi almost cried because of all the nice comments. Right now, he was still trying to establish himself in the music world with his compositions after a life of only joining competitions. But Yoongi wasn’t in a rush, he knew he was going to get there somehow.

“Now, what color did you choose for your hair, Yoongi?” Taehyung asked, pointing the video camera at him.

“Mint green,” Yoongi answered. “It goes with my fresh personality,” he added with a slight smirk in Taehyung’s direction.

“Yeah right,” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Well, let’s hope that Yoongi isn’t bald by the end of the video.”

“I do love my hair,” Yoongi said.

“And… cut!” Taehyung turned off the camera and repositioned it so that it was near Yoongi. Now that he had a closer look at the process of making videos, Yoongi couldn’t help but be amazed at how meticulous and technical Taehyung was with some of his camera work. Taehyung was biting his lip, concentrating deeply on getting the right angle, and Yoongi patiently waited for him to finish.

“Okay, we have the bleaching stuff mixed and ready,” Jimin said.

“It’s now or never,” Yoongi exhaled. He was personally quite excited to get his hair dyed. It used to be something he had on his bucket list but thought he’d never get to do. Seokjin and Hoseok would probably flip if they saw it.

“Thanks again for doing this,” Taehyung smiled at him.

“Are you kidding? I haven’t had this much fun in forever,” Yoongi chuckled.

“When we’re done, let’s go to ‘Cityscape’ again. My treat,” Taehyung winked.

“I’ll have your word on that,” Yoongi smiled.

What happens when a famous Gamer/Youtuber moves into the apartment in front of a nationally-renowned genius pianist?

Well, a lot of bickering and name-calling in the beginning. A bit of self-discovery towards the middle. And maybe, if the circumstances fell into place the right way, the two would fall in love.

Yoongi smiled as he watched Taehyung fuss over the positioning of the camera and where Jimin and Jungkook were supposed to be situated. He could already imagine how his own minty green hair and Taehyung’s peach-colored hair would look later. Of course, Yoongi had the freedom to imagine their future beyond what was happening in the present. But with Taehyung, he could never really be sure. And Yoongi loved it.

Even after all the bickering and name-calling, the self-discovery, and the falling in love, Yoongi knew there was still going to be chaos.

Pure, utter, beautiful, chaos.

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gaudeixcc · 4 years ago

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Peloton News – ‘Suitable applicants only’

Here’s a thought. Theoretically speaking, which one of the peloton would be best suited to doing the job I do?

Now I know as the current jobholder, you may well think that I’d be in with a pretty good shout, but just because I happening to be holding the ball, doesn’t mean that other riders may actually be temperamentally better suited to the role of chief administration monkey.

JT for example, with his brutal efficiency, lack of human compassion, swift and confident decision-making might indeed argue that he could do what I do, not only better and quicker, but likely with one hand tied behind his back, blindfold and probably whilst still doing his own job of firing subservient German media underlings without missing a single heartbeat (assuming a heart exists of course).

And he probably could.

In a similar vein I’ve often thought that flying a plane (non-carpenter version) is not all it’s cracked up to be.

We all had a go at landing a jumbo in a simulator and managed to pull that off with only limited constant coaching and interfering from Macca. Clemo and I even had a go at landing the space shuttle whilst holidaying in Florida one year. Again, shelling peas.

And as for chief health and safety guru on the nation’s railways, a job which on the surface Dripping seems least-well suited to with his near constant calamitous brushes with death, his very keen eye for leaves and ability to carry a clipboard and wield a pencil may ironically mean suitability is in the ‘duck to water’ realm of comparison.

I was left pondering much of this on the ride last Sunday. And I had time to ponder. Being flung off the back of the excitable peloton freight-train gives one space to consider one’s navel, as well as time to dwell on the questionable moral fabric of one’s fellow riders.

Still, I did manage to hold a couple of wheels on the 55-mile jaunt into the Surrey hills.

For the first group ride of the season, there was much to prove by many.

My own goal was not to be left too far behind too often. Macca on the other hand was clear in his intent. Even though he was on his gravel bike with balloon tyres, a bike made of metal, his clearly stated goal was not to let anyone overtake him unchallenged…..anywhere….at anytime.

My youngest has a new kitten. He teases the kitten with a toy foxtail. The kitten goes absolutely scatty for this thing. Even when sitting placidly on the bottom step of the stairs, a quickly waggle of the foxtail in her line of sight and she jerks into a barely controlled ‘hunt-it-down’ frenzy.

Similarly, whilst chatting at the back of the pack with Macca (who had felt a level of pity for those at the rear of the bus), I was revealing my inner-soul about my childhood trauma. A moment which I was bravely recounting for the first time without crying (my voice was wobbling like a schoolgirl mind) when Dripping overtook us both, a little too closely for a health and safety expert if you ask me.

All empathy disappeared from Macca’s face and the ancient part of the brain responsible for chasing, hunting and killing foxes, shut down all rational thought and he was off leaving me in a wash of angry competitive spittle, balloon tyre disappearing up the road in front of me.

Dripping knew what he was doing. He may as well have gone past and yelling ‘fuck you Macca’, the result would have been the same.

He didn’t yell that. But I also was equally certain that ‘Fuck you Macca’ is exactly what Macca heard.

Anyway, I pulled my emotional self back together and pedalled on.

The Surrey hills were fabulous on Sunday morning. It was cold but bright and there were Pelotons everywhere. Most of which significantly better dressed than ours.

What had prompted my thoughts on job-suitability was the Arrival of Mark on the scene with his yellow safety bib. I expect he was trying to un-nerve Dripping who was on his new S-Works by subconsciously suggesting that he had the moral high-ground when it came to health and safety. It was an interesting look made all the more appealing by his wearing of double-trousers. Clear thought had been given to the temperature and appropriate clothing selected. Impressive caution.

The overarching theme of the day however remained competitive aggression.

The normal course of a professional peloton is to build speed slowly with all team-mates attached. What you rarely see with Team Ineos is the rear-rider overtaking the rest of his own team and gaining a 50-yard lead. What you also rarely see in a coordinated peloton is one of the more senior members then breaking from his own team so as not to let the rear rider (now at the front) take all the glory.

If the rear-rider (now at the front) pulls onto a roundabout with only just enough space to miss the oncoming Nissan Nivaro, then the chasing competitor should do the sensible thing. He should weigh up the options. He should think ‘should I risk near-certain death and follow his wheel so not to concede the lead’ or alternatively he might think ‘should I just let the car go as we will be stopping at traffic lights in exactly 50 yards time’.

After long consideration, Macca flew onto the roundabout chasing Dripping’s foxtail whilst a man in a car literally sat on the horn, his frightened children praying that Daddy didn’t lose his temper with that ‘you-fucking-wanker!!!’ cyclist their father was waving his middle finger at.

RTA had already peeled off gracefully to Reigate so didn’t have to witness any of this buffoonery and so back to chez Hoppo we returned for bacon and sausage butties.

I had finally reached a conclusion.

So which of our cyclists did I think was best qualified to fly passengers across the Atlantic safely?

Dripping was out of the question as he would choose the wrong plane… he’d likely insist on a Blackbird SR71 as the logical steed for the job assuming the same bike-buying logic of the ‘S-works for the hill works’.

Macca would also be completely out of the question. Seeing one of the other planes take off first would see him have him pulling the throttles back whilst still connected to the passenger onboarding jetty, spilling people and trolleys asunder as he dragged the stairs down the runway so as not let the EasyJet Malaga shuttle be the first one with its wheels up.

Mark, whilst on the surface may be qualified to fly planes, would need to up his game to be more qualified on the visually superficial level. As a passenger if you saw the man with the safety vest welcoming you aboard you would think that the guy who guides the planes in with the old ‘stick-with-a-light-on’ had got ideas above his station.

I was out of the question on account of emotional fragility. The stinging sense of abandonment on Blanks lane implied that if I so much as got a funny look from a passenger I may well get the hump and sit in the cockpit refusing to come out unless the passenger in 7A apologised in person and promised to be nice to me.

This just leave RTA. He rode the perfect ride. The most capable rider who didn’t get involved in any of the competitive nonsense. He rode at the front and back with equal pleasure and humility. A man who in his spare time is coaxing the Mole back out of his nest and into the hills without leaving him wheezing for dead in the gutter.

So there we have it. Macca shouldn’t fly planes and I should man the fuck up. A reasonable conclusion to the first ride of the year.

Go steadily into the Spring my little fuckerinos.

Hoppo

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sometipsygnostalgic · 7 years ago

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Hiveswap Review (Spoiler)

We’ve been waiting an awfully long time for the Homestuck Adventure Game. First kickstarted in 2012, it’s gone through a troubled development cycle between 3 studios and.... yeah, you get the drift. Even in its final form, Hiveswap has gone through numerous unexplained delays (most infamously the last minute January Launch Month delay), and the development team for it had been very tight-hush until the end of August when a final release date of September 14th was announced.

Now that Hiveswap is out, we’re able to see for ourselves what the development team has been working on. Does it hold up to expectations? Does it make up for the hard delays and extremely concerning lack of communication?

Those are answers you can only decide for yourselves. What I will say, however, is this: Hiveswap is a charming and visually stunning introduction to the Homestuck world, that combines only the best of Homestuck’s humor with a new calmer, more curious and coherent setting.

It’s a shame, then, that the content of Act 1 isn’t a little bit longer. However, the gimmick of combining any item with each other and getting a new description will draw out the length for any lore completionists.

Before I start gushing about my feelings on Hiveswap, I’d like to point out something that REALLY soured the game for me: The cutscenes have a processing power so high that most laptops - including my own - aren’t able to handle them. I don’t understand this, because a 2.20ghz processor can handle the game like a breeze. I’ve had no trouble running Hiveswap. But as soon as a cutscene plays, it ends up taking a processing power that would burn a computer which can play Overwatch. What’s going on here? Why are cutscenes like this? Is it something to do with the Unity engine? Surely another user has figured out how to compress scenes without losing their quality!

So, I had to watch the game be played in its entirety by @neproxrezi, only returning to my own game to test out as many combinations as possible.

To make this easier for myself, I’m going to split off Hiveswap into a few categories:

Story and Characters - Hiveswap Act 1 is extreeeemely short, like 27 minutes long if you do an ameteur speedrun. On the surface, not a lot happens, but it serves as a compelling introduction to the Hiveswap world. You start off as Joey Claire, a young dancer of multiple schools with a hatred for pogs, Bubsy, and her entire life circumstances. Joey works with her brother to hide from a bunch of monsters that have invaded their home. Shenanigans ensue, mostly pigeon-related, and using Jude’s cryptic advice Joey figures out how to retrieve the attic key. Once in the attic she uses a precious heirloom key, which looks suspiciously Cherub-like, to open a SNAKE PORTAL..... Joey is transported to the world of Alternia where she meets a self-loathing rustblood of the bottom rung of society called Xefros, and explores the house of his controlling and paranoid Revolutionary moirail Dammek. Then Joey gives Xefros some words of encouragement and saves him with the help of Dammek’s lusus, then they ride into the distance while dodgy heiress Trizza Tethis takes a selfie over the burning neighbourhood. It’s all pretty basic, but a natural stopping point and setup for act 2 that makes me devastated I can’t go and play it immediately.

When you dive deeper into the game, usually by clicking on everything you see and combining as many items as possible, you can learn a lot more about these 4 characters. Joey in particular gives the audience plenty to think about once you start messing around with her; combining the green Cherub key with items will often leave her reminiscing about her absent mother, and clicking on Jake’s items strewn all over the place will show how she resents his constant absence fom her and Jude’s lives. There’s plenty of information about Rose’s mom, too, who’s their drunken babysitter and.... even now, not the best stand-in for proper parenting. I’ll talk about these two more later but it makes me curious about their circumstances in Homestuck. Meanwhile Joey and her brother Jude aren’t as close as they could be. Joey’s alarmed by how cryptic and secretive Jude is, wrapped up in his conspiracy capers, and she has great difficulty undertstanding him or having a normal conversation. This is highlighted when she assumes he wouldn’t have any care for his mother’s heirlooms if they didn’t have anything to do with aliens, and when she unlocks the Cherub portal despite his warnings because he never told her of its dangers. Joey does think about this distance between her and Jude, especially when locked on the new world.

Xefros, meanwhile... everything you click while in Alternia - whether as Joey or as Xefros - will usually have information about Dammek. Xefros is clearly used to being messed with by Dammek’s "tests” and revolutionary spiel , which seem to be a more extreme and warped version of Jude’s conspiracy capers. Inspection of his house will paint a picture of Dammek as having a very cluttered mind, hyperfocused on his goal without seeing any of the world around him or understanding the needs of his puppydog moirail Xefros. Now, Xefros himself is extremely passive and will do whatever other people tell him, which is kinda Tavros-like but more extreme. He doesn’t have any care for what happens to himself so long as he’s impressed those around him, and it’s not until Joey tells him how cruddy this is that he gets slightly relaxed and more optimistic. It’s ironic to see how Dammek and the Alternian revolutionaries end up falling into the same heirarchy that they strongly oppose. It shows the Revolution might be a joke, one of many others the Highbloods have quashed before.

As for Jude..... I wonder what’s going through that boy’s head? We barely saw him and yet he made a strong impression of his personality.

Gameplay - Hiveswap doesn’t have any “gameplay” in the traditional sense, unless you count the snake game. Instead it has a series of puzzles. They aren’t very difficult, but it’s more the funny dialogue you can read while playing. I’m gonna talk more about the humor in a few seconds, but the way you can combine any item with any other item must have taken soooooo much time from the writers, especially Cohen Edenfield. I wonder if this was always going to be the case in the original game too?

There’s not really any failstates for hiveswap. You can get eaten by monsters if you dick around on your way to the attic after the big fight, but you’ll just respawn where you were before. It’s not a game I’d choose to “play”, exactly. It’s more of a visual novel.

Humor - Oh boy. This is where Hiveswap wanted to nail it so, so bad. And its effort was valient to say the least. Joey’s dancing was some visual feel-good humor, all the 90s gimmicks in her room (especially the not-so-subtle videogame posters) had me clicking on them with every item i could find in the house, xefros in his entirety was a well of dark humor that pushed the game’s atmosphere back to its homestuck roots, and Byers - so true, so brave - he is the best item in the game. The funniest scenes for me were the Pigeon sequence with Jude, and Joey’s acrobatic pirouhettes away from Dammek’s terrifying lusus :P

I do have some criticisms for the humor. While combining everything with everything is a lot of fun, it’s not necessarily... funny. Like I didn’t get a lot of laugh-out-loud moments with the combinations. Often I found jokes were either too long-winded beyond their expiration or the punchline was just very awkward. This is a small criticism considering no other games bother to do this, but considering hiveswap act 1 is just an hour long if you DON’T do this, the game’s padding could have been more entertaining to say the least. counting on this gimmick when the humor isnt the best in the world, it’s a veeery risky move.

Graphics - okay, let’s put this out there: hiveswap without a doubt is one of the most visually stunning indie games out there. It recruited the help of many artists from the fandom itself, like adrienne garcia, angela sham, dammek the tumblr user, rah-bop, shelby cragg... For the most part the game looks great. The drawings on the short panel-based animations look wonky sometimes especially when compared to the beautiful opening animation, but it’s a small criticism.

This has convinced me that the move from 3d to 2d has seriously benefitted Hiveswap. I mean, look at this:

then look at this:

it’s a whole WORLD of difference. I seriously do not think Hiveswap would have made a good impression if it had released in the crappy-looking state the 3D studio had produced it in. The game would have not looked like homestuck, and not been able to pull off any of the animated feats in the final product. Why were they going with that art style in the first place??? It was a waste of time money and effort. I guess that the 2D team was slowly constructed over years of producing homestuck flashes and paradox space content? Many people key to the current team were in high school in 2012.

Music - Led by James Roach, he worked closely with Toby Fox to really nail Hiveswap’s soundtrack. It’s short and loops an awful lot but I never found it boring or annoying to hear. It’s quieter and more subtle than Homestuck’s loud, rambunctious music, but each character has their own theme and leitmotif. The music changes to create a good atmosphere for each room. It’s not the best work from either artist, but it’s very good as a videogame soundtrack.

Dedication to the source material - While Hiveswap has adapted away from Homestuck’s crude humor, I feel it keeps the best and throws away the worst. Hiveswap being E10 rated made some people suspicious because of how sweary and dark Homestuck is, but Hiveswap has already shown its guts and some very effective dark humor. I wonder if Act 2 will have the same rating?

While the atmosphere in Half-Harley Mansion isn’t the most Homestuck in the world, Joey’s introduction is a nice homage to how all homestuck characters are introduced. And.... you can’t ignore the insight it gives into Jake and Roxy. More specifically, Grandpa and Mom.

So, it’s revealed in Hiveswap that Jade’s Grandpa had a wife and two kids before encountering her. What does this say for Jude and Joey’s situation post-hiveswap? Did he lose his two kids, and decide to build a new life in the pacific with Jade? Did he see her as his second chance? It sort of puts a damper on John’s comment that Jade’s ‘pa seemed happy living alone, and Dave’s comment that Jade’s ‘pa was a clearly loving father. As it turned out, ‘pa severely neglected his own kids after the death of his wife, probably because they reminded him of her. But maybe Jake lost his two children and decided not to make the same mistakes with Jade? That’s why he took her to the island with him instead of siccing her on Roxy again, although Roxy had her own hands full. Yeah, talking of B1 Roxy, it’s quite interesting to see how she had changed between Hiveswap and Homestuck. Joey saw Roxy in a very different light to Rose; she saw Roxy as very kid-like and sincere, but extremely negligible due to her drinking. Most notable difference is how Roxy here obviously hates cleaning, but by the time she mothers Rose, she takes perfect care of their house. I wonder if this is another effect of Jude and Joey’s theoretical departure from the mansion? If, like Jake, she saw Rose as a sort of second chance? It’s a shame how that turned out. Yknow, im gonna laugh and cry if it turned out Jude or Joey killed Ana Claire with guns as a baby, like Jade and Jake before them

As for Alternia it was chocablocked with references to Homestuck, from the hierarchy to the Condesce to Doc Scratch to FLARP. Yeah, this is when Hiveswap went from an adventure game to a Homestuck game. I haven’t got much else to say here other than that I’m excited to see how Alternia differs from our impressions of it, and how the infrastructure of the peter pan society works.

and, of course, it had the best possible refrance:

CONCLUSION: Hiveswap has shown its guts to the world, and made a positive impression. I’m disappointed by how short it is, but that’s only because I want more.

Idk what’s going on with all the bugs such as the resolution glitch or the cutscene processing, especially cos Hiveswap went through an extra 9 months of “bug testing”.... wouldnt most people have gotten this bug the first time they launched the game??? wouldnt they have noticed the cutscene fuckery? these glitches have resulted in many people getting refunds. the only reason i didnt do the same is because i want to support this game, and i want to play it again in the future when the bugs are fixed or i have better hardware.

hopefully hiveswap act 2 won’t be followed around by the same issues, same lack of communication, same lengthy development that act 1 has suffered. if it comes swiftly, and if hiveswap act 2 makes as good an impression as act 1, then I feel we’ll have something truly special on our hands.

Story and characters: 4 hats outta 5 - short but sweet

Gameplay: 2.5 hats outta 5 - glitchy and contentless with no fail state, but this isnt necessarily a bad thing Humor : 4 hats outta 5 - sometimes missed the mark but a great chuckle for any player, fan or noob Graphics: 5 hats outta 5 - e c s t a s y Music: 4 hats outta 5 - does the job, does it well Dedication to source material: 4 hats outta 5 - best of the old, best of the new.

FINAL SCORE: 8/10. All it needs is to finish, then it’s already better than Homestuck...

#hiveswap #homestuck #gaming #adventure games #steam

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aspiestvmusings · 7 years ago

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Scorpion 4x05 Thoughts:

My episode review post for Scorpion S4 ep 4x05:

LONG POST, CONTAINING SPOILERS...UNDER THE CUT:

Moments:

Happy/Cabe scene (father/grandpa-daughter scene). I love this scene mainly for the following four reasons: 1) Happy, the mechanic, fixing Cabe’s new old car, 2) Dad/Grandpa-Daughter/Kid scene - them talking about recent events, 3) Happys’ got babies & diapers on her mind! - her word choice is again very revealing, and 4) a mention of Happy’s idol, Elon Musk.

STORK! Yet another acronym. The new Quintis plan! I’m quite certain that STORK’s fate is the same as PANNS/SCABOBI’s... they’ll drop it..soon! But I still love that they talked about wanting a baby, and came up with a plan (between lst this ep... so during the past 2 days in their universe)...even if it is STORK. But these DORKS with their STORK & acronyms. It’s so “their thing”. Just like the costumes, the “date night at home” installing security systems...etc...

Oh, Toby... you really know how to share TMI. Toby “I'm glad you asked, so let me tell you a bout our private lives..in detail...” Curtis, when he’s told not to share his story.

Little Tobina. You’re funny, Toby, but so wrong, when you think you’ll be naming the Quintis baby Tobina..or something similar. Though Tobina (a “version”of his own name, Toby) sounds like a girl’s name, so it’s a girl, right?

Sly is taking the bar exam! (but just like the prisons in this shows universe let visitors waltz into the prison cell of a dangerous criminal with cellphones & forearms in their packets - see 401, they allow cellphones into exam room... and none of it is any problem/issue LOL)

Walt still feel an “outsider” even among a family of geniuses surrounding him. His “no home” comment kinda reminds you of what he told to Linda at the end of 2x15, right? He feels “strange” even among “people like himself”. This has been a theme in the past, and now mentioned again...

It’s RAY-STARSWIPE! Oh, Ray.. and his marketing video! Its so embarrassing that its funny! Makes you wonder what else Ray did during his recent short stay at the Garage (just before Quintis wedding)

Toby & Happy are running late, because they’ve got some personal planning to do..again (in 3x13 it was the wedding planning, in 4x05 it’s the STORK project)

“What is it with Quintis & acronyms?“ ;) - Like father, like son. AKA that moment, when Cabe & Walter say/ask the same question (in 4x03 they both said “That’s an interesting development!” about Ralph’s interest in Patty! And they’ve done it before, too, like in 3x20, when they both commented that “Quintis [bicker] sound like they’ve been married forever/for years” ) Also: exactly what I asked when I read it.

I love Cabe in the “sleep capsule”...singing “Gloria” to himself... PS. At first I was kind of sad that they didn’t use (probably for legal reason...cause they didn’t get the right to use the song originally written as the one playing on the stuck cassette) the original song planned to be stuck in that cassette player, but now I kinda like that it was a different song. “Gloria” worked wonderfully during the Cabe/car etc scenes! PS. For anyone not familiar with 1980s music or how to google things, the song is "Gloria” by Laura Branigan (1982 hit) WATCH ON YT!

It’s Doggett vs Fox...but not Fox Mulder. And that’s actually Cabe Gallo, not Doggett. #yesIjustdidanXFilesreference The bad guys are wearing masks..animal masks, and have “animal” code-names. But seriously... what’s with the Spanish? How & Why is that relevant? (or is this supposed to be a reference to 305 & those Spanish bad guys?)

Interesting... this “case” seems more & more like the one in 3x05. Foreign bad guys (Spanish), a heist story,...with a twist (the bad guys are not after what the Team originally thinks they’re after!) Plus...part of the team kidnapped/held hostage/inside the building with the bad guys & part of the team outside... working on ways to communicate with the ones inside. (the last part also makes me see parallels between 405 & 313)

“It’s me, stupid! Happy’s MORSE-code message. The surest way to make sure others know it’s her is to say something very Happy-like.

I love the Quintis Teamwork! Those two are so in sync and work so well as a team! I love the eps, where Toby & Happy get to work as one of the teams, but though I kind of wish there were more eps like that, I actually like that this isn’t the case in every episode, because this way it feels even better! We get them work with others in some eps, and them together again after every few eps! (next up 4x08, 4x10)

OOPS! Sir Richard was promoting a product that wasn’t ready. Not good. His reasons for doing so might’ve been “good”, but it’s still so not good!

Elia’s PW: KING RICHARD (for my reaction see Walt’s reaction)

I know that Toby thinks of Sly instead of Ralph...first, when thinking of a very fast coder/hacker simply because this episode doesn’t have Riley B. Smith in it, but honestly... Ralph would do this faster than them all...even Sly! But yeah, Toby doesn’t call Ralph, cause the kids at school, so it’s Sly who’ll create the fake site.

Sly rocks! Sylvester, "I’m an attorney at law” Dodd, ladies & gents! PS. He’s not even completed the bar exam, but he follows Toby’s old saying "youre a lawyer if you believe you’re one” ;) (the original line was actually a bit different in S1, but... yeah) This is so his bar exam...and he will pass the exam & get extra points, because he doesn’t just answer the test questions correctly, he is able to use the knowledge he has in a practical situation... this is a “live” test/exam, where he gets to actually put his new skillset to use.

Meet "Barnaby, the Banking Butler”! PS. Here’s an idea though... since Team Scorpion is in need of finances, and Cabe did such a great job as Barnaby, the Banking Butler (despite the accent), how about Elia paying Cabe for using him as the “model” for Barnaby so the agent can that way pay back his bail money to the Team, and hence not owe anyone anything & so freeing the Team from their extra debt?

LOL ... Classic Toby! “Good luck, baby! I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed for you” - he wants Happy to do the job alone, cause handing a note to someone is totally a 1-person-job! He’s always trying to “stay behind”. PS. Originally the plan was to have a scene inside the bank, but for reasons this scene was changed, and we see Quintis only outside the bank (before & after...no interaction with the teller, etc. I kinda liked the final version that aired though I originally though the 1st draft version was great)

...and Happy’s “wife” stare! as a response. Those dorks are so married!

Quintis just robbed a bank! Technically they only stole a password, though, not money. And now they’re fleeing from the scene! Car-chase! And of course Happy’s driving!

APB on Quintis (description) - Toby: caucasian male in his 30s, wearing a hat & Happy: petite asian female

Oh, no! Not good! Happy, as a “skilled” driver turns the car too fast & all the (still hot!? How? Ride from coffee shop to conference center, the assessment of situation + discussions with the cops/detective... did all that take only 3 minutes or d they go to a magic coffee shop that has magic coffee that remains hot for an hour...) hot organic coffee spills on Toby’s gooty! Well...nothing else to do than remove his pants! To reveal: NO BOXERS! Tighty whities! #violationofSTORK

sidenote: Toby Curtis & Happy Quinn masters of removing their pants without taking off their shoes since 205/405! And while Toby’s pants in this ep weren’t as “skinny jeans” as Happy wore in 205 dangling upside down...), I’m still questioning the speed & ease of him removing the pants...over the sneakers. This couple’s got skillz ;) *sarcasm*

Oh, a little Toby’s childhood memory/story! About his first day of middle school...and what he wore that day.

“Bet you wish you wore boxers now.” Oh, Happy! Bet he does.

Cabe & “Gloria” vs 2 bad guys on motorcycles - pursuit! Of course Barnaby “wins” the chase!

There are not many “people”, who can get away with insulting an officer in broad daylight, in the middle of the street, while being half naked/wearing just tighty whities.

I do not know if that was EKT or a (photo) double in the S3 bloopers reel for the S3 finale island scene with Paige/Toby and the loincloth talk scene, when Kat goes “he’s got nice legs”, but I’d say it applies here. Toby’s got nice legs.

I knew it! Quintis is forgetting S.T.O.R.K. And focusing on fun instead. Or rather... on F.U.N. Sorry, pops... it’s another acronym. FUN = Freewheeling. Unencumbered. Newlyweds.

DONUTS! Team/Family moment!

A mention of Happy’s online gearhead friends! I hope these are her MechanChicks friends... mostly. Reference to 318. But could be other mechanic friends, too.

Oh, poor Cabe... first clearer signs of what “losing his identity” (as we learned in 317..his biggest fear is to seem weak & not be able to be the protector & “tough guy”) is doing to him...are showing. The car choice, the singing to himself in sleeping pods, the mixing up boxes... I sure hope he gets his real badge back soon...and give back the temporary intern badge... because he feels purposeless if he is not the agent. As explained in 317..and now explored in season 4A...

LOL at these geniuses! I guess Happy’s truck & Paige’s and Walter’s cars are not a the garage...orherwise... why not use of of their cars to move Cabe’s "Gloria”. But no... we would not have that fun team moment..if that were the case! If these geniuses remembered they could move his car using their car/truck... we would not get such a funny team bonding moment....

The little things/Details to notice:

Happy using the word “diaper”, when using an analogy to Cabe’s new car’s technical condition. (”Leaks like a full diaper”) #HappysGotBabiesOnHerMind

Happy & Toby: white vs black theme! Happy wearing black tee & black pants/jeans, Toby wearing a white tee & (as revealed later...) white undies. A fun contrast/detail I noticed.

Welcome back Cabe’s “LA KINGS” (opening scene) & Toby’s “I’D RATHER BE WEIGHT-LIFTING" coffee mugs! (end scene)

Happy’s outfit: yet another “mechanic” outfit with her usual boots, and dark jeans. Plus a loose top/tee with a LS plaid shirt on top.

Also... Toby’s outfit ... it’s so S1-ish! The “lighter-coloured” pants, and that jacket...

And It’s been ages since we’ve seen Toby run..cause someone’s chasing him (cause he’s taken someone’s “money”) It happened quite often during early S1 days... but is not a theme anymore.

6PCI245 - Happy’s car licence plate number in S4. Actually since 3x18! Originally it was 8Q49992 in 1x11, then 8Q49929 from 1x21 to 3x12; 6PCI245 from 3x18-3x20-to 4x05...; with the 3x22 PartyBus getting her old licence plate 8Q49929) ;)

Paige lifting Toby’s legs off table (during the donuts scene)

So...Quintis S4 acronyms...so far: we went from PANNS to FUN. What’s next? PANNS + SCABOBI -> STORK -> FUN --> ?

hmm... Happy really wants for someone else (Paige) to PUSH...right now? Is this what’s to come in about 40 weeks? In that case... this coming from the woman, who as a mechanic claimed that the female body is a mechanical marvel...but will she be wishing someone else was “in pain” when it’s her time? We’ll see...

Favourite Lines/Quotes:

Too many to list. But some I’ve mentined in the comments above.

I find that hard to believe! - “Continuity errors” & other questionable things:

How are “students” allowed to take their cellphones to the exam room? And leave the exam room... to “go to the bathroom” ...just like that?

How is that coffee STILL hot? Did everything from them leaving from the coffee shop to robbing the bank happen in a 5-minute timespan (instead of closer to an hour or so..) or do they know a magic coffeeshop that sells magic coffee in magic cups that keep the coffee hot for hours?

How did Toby get those pants off so easily...over his sneakers? Sure..his pants are wider than Happy’s skinnyjeans in 205 were... but these two are still very masterful at removing their jeans without removing their footwear.

How come they didn’t think of using one of their cars to move Cabe’s non-moving vehicle?

NOTES:

On that note... Team Quintis & Team Scorpion’s financial situation is gonna be a topic...during this season, right? In S3 it was how to arrange a wedding on budget. In S4 its gonna be how to prepare for a baby...while on budget? But how are they gonna save or get better at being financially responsible if they keep buying organic coffee to go, and other such “luxuries”, when in other eps its made to sound like they can’t even afford a cheap deep-fried treat (churros)...though that’s Paige, not Quintis...who planned to get Kovelsky’s that night. It allows for several options - show how they get creative with baby stuff. And shows how their & their company’s financial situation affects them all... and it also gives perfect opportunity for a Toby/gambling debt/Bruno plot to surface...etc.

Solution: Quintis can afford a baby just like Paige could afford to get a new car (a few weeks after getting the new job) & upgrade to a nice apartment + get Ralph to a good school (mere months later) + pay for the babysitter etc... because they’re not really broke (they already got 20.000 back from Cabe)... their definition of it just “exaggerated”. But also because they’re geniuses & gonna be very creative about the “baby costs” - building furniture themselves, having “free” access to medical stuff and treatments... and also... either they’re gonna do “baby on budget” and that’s the plot, or Cabe gets his job back soon, and the team starts getting big paydays... to fix their financial situation. Because this show has not been realistic about financial issues from the very beginning. It’d be great if that’d improve, but Quintis has made it clear they’re not good with saving etc.

posted: Oct 28th, 2017

#CBS SCORPION #QUINTIS #scorpionS4 review #4x05 #4x05 Sci Hard #Scorpion 4x05 #TEAM SCORPION #SCORPION

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dukeofriven · 7 years ago

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Frisk on the Road to Damascus: A Pseudo-Essay on Converting to Undertale

So 664 days after it was released, and 382 days after I purchased it, I finally, finally, finally beat Undertale.

And... I loved it. Controversial opinion: it’s really good.

But it took me a while to love it. Let me explain, because I’m sure y’all are super interested in me doing so.

I had about five false starts playing Undertale, and all five of those false starts was how fucking irritating I found the sound of Flowey and Toriel’s dialogue. I have a hypersensitivity to sound, especially frequencies, and the sound of Flowey and Toriel’s dialogue is... not pleasant, especially at first aural blush. I got used to it when it when I finally powered through it, but if there were any major changes I would make to Undertale it would be better sound controls - being able to cut the audio down on the dialogue by even 25% would make a big difference to it on an accessibility ability level* ** It was Undertale that first ‘inspired’ me to get Tumblr Saviour - first because I didn’t want to be spoiled by a game I heard was good and wanted to play relatively unspoiled, and later because I didn’t want to be reminded of the game I was having so much trouble with.

What was it that made me pick up Undertale long enough to get through it? As usual, it was podcasts (there’s a small paper to be written on how podcasts got me interested in pro wrestling, but that’s a whole other story.) The superlatively good Let Me Tell You About Homestuck podcast relaunched a little over a year back (shoutout to excellent co-hosts @yuri-librarian and @betgirl ), and when I found out I dived back in, and in the process rediscovered my love of Homestuck. Homestuck and I had a falling out during the gigapause and Homosuck - at the time it felt like the webcomic’s author was pissed at his own comic and actively self-sabotaging it, and even though I caught up with the comic before the ending I was still disgruntled with it and not willing to engage with it much.

But listening to LMTYAH re-ignited fandom joy within me - a euphoric Road-To-Damascus re-conversion I can only describe as ‘George Bailey coming back to existence at the end of It’s A Wonderful Life.' I gleefully snatched-up the pesterlogs and clutched them to my chest. I waved cheerfully at [S] Descend and [S] Cascade. “Merry Christmas you old mspaintadventures!” I shouted at the top of my lungs as I pelted through the snow to hug my beloved Beta Kid family again.***

You can’t discuss Homestuck anymore without discussing Undertale, which was so clearly fed by Homestuck, which was in turn fed by Undertale, because media is an incestuous slurry. Part of the issues with coming back to the Homestuck dialectic table is that you can’t ignore that big ol’ bowl of Undertale sitting between the roasted trans-media experiments and the mashed potatoes. If, every time that bowl gets passed around, you put your hands over your ears and and scram ‘LA LA LA LA LA I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT’ then the other guests are going to look at you funny and your nearest neighbour is going to conclude that they’d rather sit through that pompous lecture by the vegan on the other side of them after all.

It’s not a great dining experience, is what I am trying to explain with this increasingly overcooked analogy. I wanted to eat with the rest of the guests - I wanted to watch @revolutionaryduelist’s video on Undertale themes and Homesick themes. I want to suck it up, be an adult, and eat like a goddamn grown-up.

So I grit my teeth, grabbed the bowl, and started shovelling large spoonfuls down my throat. I think this is how grown-ups eat right?

I didn’t like the taste at first. What brought me to Undertax more than anything was the idea of the pacifist run. The games that have this as a legit option are few and far between, and some of them (e.g. Dishonoured) get downright nasty about it. Undertake wasn’t nasty about being helpful, but it didn’t make it easy, either.

Some of you may feel the need to note that ‘the pacifist route isn’t supposed to be easy,’ to which my response would be ‘shove it up your bum you git-gud wankeroos.’ There are two types of ‘hard’ in video games - one of challenge, and one of ability. The excellent puzzle game The Witness doesn’t greatly challenge ability (for sighted people, at least) - by and large almost all of its puzzles just involve drawing a line. The Witness is hard because the puzzle are so tortuously, mind-bindingly challenging. By contrast, a platform like VVVVVV doesn’t preset much mental challenge - it barely has anything like a puzzle that I can remember, but in terms of ability it requires lightening-fast reflexes and great timing (Somehow I beat that game -I still don’t know how).

Undertale is not a hard-challenge game, it is a hard-ability game, and I flat-out suck at its bullet hell mechanics. All my frustrations with the game were met at the bullet board - if I could make one other major change to the game it would be slightly improving the speed of the heart cursor. Time and time again I violently cursed because I had just missed getting out of the way of something with a cursor I found sluggish and unresponsive, as though my keyboard was laggy. A poor skill level coupled with what felt like hardware problems made for an increasingly difficult experience, one in which I felt like the game was almost taunting me: “oh, you want to be a good person, huh? Too bad - you lack the skills to be a good person. You’re not going to get through this without resorting to killing, you intrinsically violent, terrible person."

Staying alive through the confrontation with Undyne drained me, and by the time I was on my second iteration of Mettaton being a shitheel I just felt burned-out. The story still felt pretty flat, and wasn’t really drawing me in. The hardest decision I had had to make was at the very beginning of the game - Toriel’s home, and Toriel herself, were so lovely and sweet that I still resented the game for making me have to break her heart. I didn’t want to leave her house, I just wanted to stay and live a nice life with her in the Underground. But no - the game wanted me to have heroic destiny and shit so fine, guess i’ll go back to the surface I don’t have much interest in seeing. Since leaving Toriel’s house all I had wanted to do was return to that tranquility and warmth, and instead I just got more monsters trying to kill me. The stuff with Papyrus had been very funny, but the game still wasn’t sinking its claws into me - it was a quirky but light RPG, funny, but not funny or deep enough for me to understand why a big bowl of it was sitting at the Homestuck dialectic table other that Toby Fox had worked on both things - which seemed like a weak reason to include it. (Remember the Homestuck dialectic table? That didn’t stop being a thing or anything)

So I walked away again and did other things over several weeks, possibly months. I finally came to terms with the fact that my vision is permanently damaged and got myself a Kindle so I could read again. I read a book on the Apollo programme and took another crack at Bleak House. I watched an episode or two of Lucha Underground, got caught up on The Adventure Zone, and went through every post ever posted on @revolutionaryduelist’s Tumblr. I fantasized about buying a new computer. I told myself to watch the Little Witch Academia TV series and forgot every single time - and so on.

And then I watched Car Boys.

Car Boys is one hell of a ride, no pun intended, a strange mishmash of video game fault testing and emergent meta narrative that ends up surprisingly emotional and affecting - and as the credits rolled I made the always unwise decision to wander down into the Youtube comments, where I discovered the fun ‘Car Boys is just like Homestuck’ argument which, natch, led me back to thinking about Homesick and Video Games - and, ultimately, Undertale.

“Fine,” I told myself, “I guess I’ll beat it, at least to finally have one thing in my over-glutted Steam Library I have actually seen-through to completion.”

So last night I booted up my Steam, made the conscious decision to stop trying to get my just-bought 360 controller to work with Sonic Adventures DX via wine (it keeps crashing), and booted up Undertale.

For a while it was just fine again. I don’t like Alphys, even after beating the game: she reminds me of a lot of shitty people I’ve known in my life, and the story uses her lack of self-confidence as sort of a moé defence - ah, look at how cute she is, isn’t that adorable, she feels bad about what she’s done - without ever actually examining that behaviour in any critical detail. Alphys being an adorkable anime fan and her relationship with Undyne are all great character traits - but it doesn’t make her a good person, and the game never truly calls her to the mat in much the same way that it sort of glosses over Asgore having condoned the murder of six other humans (but he comes into the story so late I find him less of a character and more of a symbol.) Alphys gets a whole ‘trip to the dump/romance role-play’ subplot after being revealed to have deliberately ordered a bunch of monsters to at least make a pretence of killing you in order to make herself look like a hero - and that's before you get to go into her basement and learn the really shitty shit she did with dying monsters' souls. I mean Jesus Christ Alphys how come nobody calls you on this!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I helped Mettaton’s ratings, left him to be patched upped by Alphys, and made my way to the castle walls - and the writing started to get really good. I loved meeting with Sans and his talk about the true nature of EXP and LOVE, loved walking into the throne room for the first time, loved the moment when I realized Toriel was the Queen-in-Exile - coming upon the New House was genuinely moving… but then I reached Ashore, and it wouldn’t let me TALK to him, and I didn’t like having to fight him after a full pacifist run, and also he was really hard.

So I swallowed my pride a little and googled vague hints for ways to make the fight easier. I learned that yeah, I absolutely had to fight him, and then I went and ground Cloud Glasses back and forth to the Temmie Store to unlock the Temmie Armor and earn the cash to stock-up on my beloved Bisicles. So equipped, I went and fought Asgore for the final time, thus beating this game that everyone raved about for reasons I could not understand.

Then the game ended and suddenly started to get really, really, really good. Much like Homestuck in Act 6, Undertale’s starts pushing the boundaries of games themselves, using save files against you and deliberately crashing the game. Omega Flowey is a goddamn nightmare, a visual headache who rails against you and the concept of friendship, and while he was a frustrating fight for the first time I felt like this was less a reflection of my shitty skills and more a deliberate choice of the part of the game to show what monstrous power he wielded.

As I was sent back into the world, I was eager to go find Undyne. I had to look-up where she lived because I had totally forgotten that her house existed - in fact, I had forgotten Papyrus had ever said anything about meeting up at Undyne’s house, so I never befriended her in my original run. The moment Undertale moved from a game I was starting to enjoy to one I knew I loved was the moment Papyrus leapt out Undyne’s window - late in the process to fall in love with a game? Perhaps, but so it was.

Missing Undone the first time through felt so narratively satisfying to me that it wasn’t until writing this that it occurred to me that it was something that didn’t have to have been missed - the run-in with Undone hardly ends on a high-note: after a miserable shield-fight and a whole lot of fleeing you give her a cup of water and she slinks-off into the night. It wasn’t something that exactly screamed ‘She’s Ready For A Friendship Lesson.’ I kept expecting her to show back up somewhere in New Home Castle for Round 2: Redemption Boogaloo, but it never happened. Then Sans got Anubis on my ass, the King of All Monsters got murdered by a flower and my game crashed on purpose - sort of forgot about her no-show appearance.

So there we were: breaking windows, sipping tea, making the worst goddamn spaghetti it’s ever been my misfortune to make**** and having a wonderful time. Other than my general misgivings about Alphys being let-off way too lightly by the narrative*****, after that first reset Undertale was practically a perfect game for me. The ending made me feel mushy and sappy, the epilogue where you get to pace around and talk to just about everyone felt so unbelievably RIGHT - if you want to head out and make one last personal connection with everyone you’ve ever met, you can pretty-much do that. Ben Croshaw wrote quite elegantly that Undertale represents “the triumph of kindness, reminding people of who they were before tragedy twisted them.”****** That kindness is what makes the game so compelling - what makes reading-up on the Genocide route feel so legitimately horrific and transgressive. It’s going to stick in the back of my mind every time I am needlessly rude to someone, overly sarcastic, or just my usual ‘less kind than I wish I was’ self. Homestuck wallets just went on sale today and I immediately bought one and then felt bad for all the Tumblr posts I saw for worthy causes - I SHOULD GIVE UP ALL MY WORLDLY POSSESSIONS TO THE POOR AND GO PREACH THE GOSPEL OF ACTING WITH MERCY as Undertale teaches.

It’s the kindness that will stick with me - and dear God, reading about the Genocide routes makes me nauseated. I’m the guy who claims that this time his Mass Effect play through will be Renegade and then goes 100% paragon again except for being rude to Anderson (because screw that dill weed - oh, geeze, I have failed Undertale again.)

Anyways, long, convoluted, not-very-coherent opinion: Undertale is a good game. Sorry it took me so long to learn that.

*but if we’re going to talk about accessibility in video games we’ll be here all year: an especially big fuck you to all those games who don’t let you change the font size for all of us with really poor eyesight (which is to say essentially all games).

** And what is it with games being embarrassed to have their text dialogue scroll past without some kind of irritating sounds? Undertale at least uses the noise as a form of expanding character identity, but the world is littered with sprite JRPGs who think dialogue is best accompanied by a garbled, repeating beep.

*** Re-experiencing the comic multiple times gave me so many more insights I never used to have. Revisiting Act Six and Homosuck, especially through @betgirl‘s eyes, I found so much to love. Which there is some serious problems in it (The Dancestors and Abuser Gamzee), there’s so much more joy, depth, and thought then I remember. I don’t know if, at the time, with the broken pacing, it was possible to see the shape of the narrative arc that Andrew Hussie was trying to tell - the deconstruction of the nature of storytelling, video games, and the ‘Problem of Mario.’ It’s really good, you guys, and you do yourself a disservice if you have never read it.

**** Undyne is right, by the way: homemade pasta is unquestionably the best and super easy; its only major flaw is that it’s just time-consuming, especially if you’ve got to hand-crank an antique pasta machine to roll it out. KitchenAid sells a pasta roller attachment for their mixer for an amount that justifies a class uprising all on its own.

***** I’m not some weirdo going ALPHYS MUST BE PUNISHED but Alphys should really, you know, actually apologize for the shit she pulled. Yeah, she says ‘I got scared of my amagalgamtions and cowardly didn’t tell their families about it,’ but not being honest about it is the most insignificant issue here. Much more pressing and things like Experimenting On A Human Soul, Actually Making the Amalgams In The First Place, Setting Up A Bunch Of Death Traps So She Could Insert Herself Into Your Life As A Hero. I can forgive Alphys - I think she is a genuinely good person who made misguided and out-right foolish mistakes and should never have had the job she had (I hear Toriel fires her in one ending which fuck yeah Toriel, only one with sense.) Undertake doesn’t need to re-write a damn thing about Alphys - I would just like one more scene in which Alphys admits culpability for the original problem rather than just an aspect of the fallout.

****** And it should be stressed: Alphys deserves kindness (and a good therapist). I don’t want a kangaroo court or anything like that - my issue is with the narrative, not Alphys personally.

Asgore, though… dude kinda murdered six children? Do people talk about that, because they ought to.

#Undertale #Homestuck #Alphys #Asgore #Homosuck #Car Boys #lucha underground #Flowey #Toriel #it's a wonderful life #Let Me Tell You About Homestuck #LMTYAH #The Witness #vvvvvv #long post #homestuck analysis

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