#Four Star Stories
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About "Planet 42 Beta"
Read my new short story "Planet 42 Beta"!
Throughout this entire arc of 74 stories Resada Gestae is married. The wedding was done on impulse and had no clergy, witnesses, and was done at gunpoint – not valid for any and all of those reasons. When the law catches up with Lt Gestae and sends Mrs. Resada on a years-long mission of reconstructive justice, this marriage becomes a long separation. That said, Resada regards the marriage as…
#74 Stories Project#Crush by Lisa Shapter#Four Star Stories#Grave&039;s First Day#Inducement by Lisa Shapter#Life on Earth by Lisa Shapter#Military SF#My Work#No Woman No Plaything by Lisa Shapter#Planet 42 Alpha#Planet 42 Beta#Planet 50#Science Fiction#Searching ny Lisa Shapter#The Other Two Men
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pov you are watching hyness flip his shit and throw himself into the heart of a dead eldritch god after throwing dead lesbians at you at the sublime hour of 12:30 AM on a sunday but the star allies sparkler is there so dw about it
#soup art#kirby#taranza#context. im on vacation with some friends. one of our final activities was blitzing through the story mode of star allies in like.#a total allotted time of four hours. three and a half of which were all in one sitting.#we were also trying to hit every dream friend we could. my first choice once unlocked was extremely predictable .#running joke of “taranza needs therapy” led to the creation of This Thing.#ihope you likes it.
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#Kirby#Kirby memes#Bandana Waddle Dee#Bandana Dee#Parasol Waddle Dee#Sailor Waddle Dee#Sailor Dee#rip Sailor Dee not appearing in a game since 2011#I think my one complaint about Kirby as a series is that characters outside of the main four are often forgotten about or never used again#like I feel like every game will introduce a new character and then we maybe see them just one or two more times before they disappear#and don’t get me wrong I do enjoy seeing new characters introduced in new games#but I do wish that the characters that already exist would be acknowledged more or given more depth and development#because I feel like there’s a lot of potential there like we could see so many more stories or games involving them#I feel like there’s a lot of potential for more Magolor Epilogue type of stuff with other characters#I think it’d be nice to see what all the former antagonists have been up to after the end of their games#I think that Star Allies kind of does this a little bit but just on a surface level not more in depth#this is why I like exploring this stuff in my fanart lmao like if HAL/Nintendo won’t do it I’ll do it myself
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𝒔𝒐𝒘 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒚
sequel to eyes of the ranger
pairing: boothill x gn!ex-undertaker!reader
genres: western!au, angst, domestic fluff, bits of hurt/comfort
word count: 8.6k
warnings: spoilers for boothill's backstory, death, heavy angst, explorations of grief, gun violence, blood, implied suicidal thoughts, unhealthy coping mechanisms
notes: I've only seen the bare minimum of his story leaks, and they've been spinning around my head ever since. Some details of the timeline might be tweaked, or imagined/added, but that's just for the au. Still, please enjoy this sequel, and what more I've added to this world! Here's some flowers again :) 💐
Read it on ao3!
~~~
Candles cast their glow brightly across wood panels as you hummed a lilting melody. Hands played with your hair, tugging on the strands to draw your attention away from the swirling pot of stew.
“Papa?"
"He'll be back soon, sweetie."
Your daughter shifted on your arm as you placed the spoon back in its resting spot. Her head fell against your shoulder, no doubt growing bored as crackles of fire echoed across the cabin.
You resumed the tune, bouncing slightly from side to side. She perked up once more as you took her hand over your first two fingers, thumb covering its small size. Her eyes began to crinkle as her first few teeth were revealed by a smile. She always loved dancing and music, likely because of her "silly papa".
When he left for town in the afternoon, he tripped over the porch's last step – on purpose, you suspected. She quickly laughed from where she sat with you in the rocking chair, calling him the nickname as he straightened up again. In just a couple strides he was back in front of you, fingertip meeting her nose before she swatted at him. He chuckled, leaving another kiss on both of your foreheads and embarking again.
As you gently spun, her gaze drifted to the window. She lit up, brighter than any heavenly body, and pointed to the door.
"Papa! Papa!"
The sound of approaching hooves met your ears softly, leading you to peer through the glass panes. Unfortunately, your vision was greeted by the furthest people from Boothill.
The National Hunter's Agency had grown to infamy everywhere you went. They had been given many pardons, and bought off plenty of sheriffs and their higher-ups to be able to operate as they pleased in numerous states. It seems now, after two years, they had caught wind of your bounty and wanted to cash in.
You carefully set her down on the floor, hands staying at her sides in case she lost balance. With some support, you walked her to your shared bedroom, guiding her to hide in your shaker wardrobe.
An anxious hand rotated the knob on the front door, leaving you face to face with a row of five men. Two in suits at the center, and three dressed more rugged at their side.
"Good evening." one greeted, smoke flowing from his mouth. "I assume you know why we're here."
The reverberations of your boots ceased before the steps as you stared at the lineup. "Naturally."
He hummed, throwing the remains of his cigarette to the dirt.
The agent at his right spoke up, "Why don't you walk down here, then."
“Isn’t it your job to capture me?”
“Continue resisting and you don’t have to be the only one we take.”
Your resolution faltered, and the hunters closed in. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
“Are you sure?”
Glass shattered behind you, followed by heavy thumping. Tendrils of dread inched in, their freeze creeping over your bones.
“Step down.”
Despite every instinct screaming for you to move, to follow their commands, denial and fear kept you in place.
“You’ve got about one minute before we force you to.”
A glaze fell over your surroundings, the situation tumbling to the wayside as your thoughts and blood rushed in unison. It was five against one, and each of them were armed – you were not. They had more information than they were letting on. Someone was searching the cabin for your daughter, likely their sixth. She would be weaponized if she was caught, stuck in the crossfire of your bounty.
Was there a way out of this? To prevent what seemed increasingly inevitable?
Well, yes. You could give yourself up.
But there was no guarantee of her safety afterward, or that you would remain alive.
Still, you and Boothill had made a promise when you first took her in, just one year ago. If danger ever presented itself, you would lay down your lives to protect her.
One of the hunters drew his pistol as your boot hit the first step.
Another dismounted, his dirtied white shirt twisting, then straightening once more as he approached you. A rough grip captured your arms, dragging them behind your back. Something hard hit the ground at your right, a rope thrown by one of his partners. It was wrapped and tied around your wrists, the friction beginning to cast a light burning sensation over the skin.
A foot met the back of your knees as he tightened the restraints, dust rising at the impact. One of the agents joined you, the scent of smoke lingering on his fingers as he brought your head up to meet his eyes. They returned to his side a moment later as his gaze turned to the cabin.
A hunter had your little girl in his grasp, her steps short, frightened, and struggling as she was led down the stairs. She looked at you, searching for answers or what to do.
The saddled agent’s voice sounded from behind, “The NHA seeks to rid these ranges of their impurities. When you wish to uproot an evil such as yourself, no trace must remain.”
He gestured toward the four hunters, and his fellow agent disappeared from your view.
Then the brutality they were known for reared its unforgettable head.
The low flat heel of a dress shoe met your back, staying there as you writhed on the ground, watching up at your daughter.
A metallic barrel crept to the rear of her head.
The tendrils of dread became horrible claws, sinking into every organ and twisting.
Warm ruby droplets cascaded over pale brown and flesh, as the shot’s echo dulled your senses and her body crumbled to the ground.
The claws dug open a void as a defeated cry exit your lips. You were released from under the agent’s foot, flipped over to stare at the cloud-stricken dusk. Voices yelled around you, the words fading into one persistent cacophony. A hand pressed itself down onto your shoulder, before a pain blossomed in the other. A rugged face peered down at you, contempt rising in their features. A new flower of sharp ache grew in your left thigh, tears finally stinging at your eyes.
A fresh splattering of blood flowed over your face, shocking you out of despair. Their body went limp over yours, and you quickly brushed them to the side. Now free from the hunter’s reach, you sunk your hands into the dirt beside you, slowly turning yourself back to your stomach. The hilt of a knife hit the ground as you did so, veins coming alight with panic from its twist in your wound.
Despite every injury, you only had one focus – to see your daughter one last time.
Sharp gravel digged uncomfortably underneath your legs as your restrained hands inched forward. Blood thrummed in your ears, yet the unmistakable sound of gunshots broke through. Within a matter of seconds someone rushed to your crawling form. They called for you, voice breaking at the scene as a hand brushed through your hair.
“Darlin’?”
Your head rose at every emotion kept within that one word, asked by a husky voice you could find in any darkness. Anguish cast itself over his face when he finally saw what you were headed toward. He sank to his knees next to you, a wrecked sob reaching into the evening only to be greeted by no comfort.
Reluctantly, you gazed at your daughter’s corpse, journeying silently past Boothill to finally touch her.
A sticky scarlet liquid mocked you, revealing your sorrow-stricken features coated in its kind within the pool. Your fingers rose to her, a warmth lingering below as she was turned. You summoned any last inkling of strength you had, smiling down to her and speaking softly.
“You were my pride and joy, sweetheart. I’ve had no greater honor than being your parent.”
You leaned down, a soft kiss landing on her forehead before you cried a chant of apologies. When any words you could conjure finally entered oblivion, your eyes looked back to Boothill. He hadn’t moved an inch, rendered paralyzed by the gravity of what he arrived home to. It seemed as though he had been ripped apart, every wire inside of him fraying.
This was your fault, and you were sure he knew that too.
Regret became a well in your heart, rising from the depths and overflowing onto its dying grass. Your head ached, thoughts swirling until each one sinked in grief’s whirlpool. In resignation, you lie beside her, holding her chilled hands between your fingers. If you closed your eyes, you could still see her smile as you danced making dinner.
It would feel best if you never opened them again, but you couldn’t leave Boothill to carry this weight alone. He didn’t deserve such a fate.
A hand swiped over your stained cheek, drawing you back to miserable reality. Tears descended from silver, embers kindling beneath their despair. You lifted your hands from hers, closing her lifeless eyes. Boothill’s hat rested at his chest, head downturned from where he knelt.
Together, you mourned.
—
PART I - Fatherhood And Other Dreams
"Papa! The moo-moos!"
"I see them!" Boothill chuckled, watching a finger point at their pasture.
Rena wriggled against his side, wanting to move closer to them. He complied, jogging to the wooden fence as she smiled.
Her small hands reached past the log fence, petting along one of the cow's heads as it grazed. She had such an affinity for the animals here, something you always joked she got from him.
Every morning like clockwork, she would point them out, longing to go and sit with them for a while. He would join her, occasionally teaching her things about their diets or hair as she would get close and stare into their big brown eyes.
Today she angled back against his leg and smiled at her altered reflection in them, before you tousled her growing hair. He hadn’t heard you approach, too absorbed in the scene to hear your boots kick up dust. His hand rose to rub against the back of your neck as you leaned into him, sipping on your mug of black coffee.
He had noticed your odd positioning on the pillow, no doubt leaving you with some pains when you woke. Quiet snores filled the room; something he would laugh with Rena about, her high-pitched giggles overtaking the silence of the night as her hands pat against your cheeks. Your light snoring would cease, and your face would scrunch up at the unexpected disturbance before you recognized the poking of your daughter. He watched as you tickled the side of her neck, placing a hand on her back when she fell on your chest and wiggled around in joy.
He’s never felt more love than in those little moments, witnessing his entire world as two shining stars amidst the murky midnight.
“In!”
“Brush first?”
“Yeah!”
He was brought back to you after a quick shake of his head, two gazes of the same color waiting for him. One enthusiastic, the other fond and patient as he bent down to pick up Rena. She played with his low braided hair, pulling a few small strands free. You ventured to the stables, likely fetching a brush that she had dropped on one of the chairs yesterday.
The grass was fresh with dew, shining under the morning rays. He opened the gate with ease, feeling a breeze run over his cheeks as he shut it behind him. The pasture was wide, yet filled with only ten cows. Each one would be brushed daily by Rena, starting with one patterned in brown and white. It was an activity she had adored since the first time you had brought her out to help just a couple months ago. Seeing how much she enjoyed it, he joined the two of you only a week later.
You came to his side, handing the brush over to her as you sipped on your coffee. He gestured at you with his chin as bristles met little hairs. With a smile, you turned the mug in his direction, a warm and bitter liquid flowing over his tongue.
A gentle laugh left your lips when the cow’s head moved, rising up into the brush and slightly twisting into it. Rena turned to you, beaming as she moved the brush to another spot. The cow reacted in turn, and you laughed again.
~
The wood ceiling of the barn came into view as Boothill’s head was tugged backward. A light chuckle echoed through the space, falling in time with the noon bird's chirp. His hat tumbled to the hay and dust riddled floor, yet it didn’t remain for long. Little hands left the ends of his hair, snatching the hat instead. He watched, bale in hand, as you scooped up Rena. In a swift motion, you placed his hat on her head, one arm wrapped around your neck and the other reaching for the large brim.
The bale crashed onto the floor, beginning a new stack by one of the stables. The sound brought Rena's attention to him, her head tilting backward to spot him from underneath the hat.
“Like papa!”
“You wanna be like him?"
"Yeah!"
"Then we're gonna have a lot to teach you."
He grinned, the brightness of the sun’s rays and his daughter’s admiration seeping into his smile. With her now distracted by one of the horses, he wrapped an arm around your waist, leaving a kiss on your lips before continuing his work.
~
The orange and golden rays of sunset beckoned your gaze to the large window overlooking the front porch. Rena slept peacefully on your chest, a combination of a full stomach and boredom likely the cause. You brought the book in your right hand to the other supporting her, flipping the page carefully.
The slow thumping of boots echoed through the door, prompting Rena to stir. She had always been a light sleeper, though she didn't always fully awaken. It seemed that this evening she would, leaning backward into your hand as the door opened. Boothill's figure emerged, lit by the bright horizon. She shuffled as her eyes opened to meet his, slowly laying further backward against your hand. Letting the leather-bound book fall from your lap, you wrapped both hands around her. She whined, leading one of your brows to raise.
Boothill inched closer, stopping at the edge of the rug in your little living area. You set Rena down, your hands staying at her sides. She watched the floor intently, gaze shifting between it and her papa. Quickly you picked up on her intentions, standing behind her and holding her hands just above her head.
Her foot moved forward slightly, and excitement blossomed on both your and Boothill's faces. He knelt down, holding his arms out for her. Feeling encouraged, she moved faster, taking her first few steps with your support. When she finally reached her papa, he lifted her up, cheering at her along with you. She beamed, her feet kicking back and forth in the air as she giggled.
~
The stars twinkled in the growing twilight, contrasting with the auburn and violet hues on the horizon. Cool grass stood between your fingers, the tranquility of the coming night bleeding into your spirit. The hill provided a lovely view of the valley below as crickets began to chirp. A thin herd of deer moved like whispers just a few feet before you.
One startled in your direction, the sound of Rena picking at strings increasing its paranoia. She was transfixed by the instrument, plucking as she sat in Boothill’s lap. His affectionate gaze watched down at her, adjusting the blanket over her legs.
There were many nights over the past few days you would wake to find Boothill absent from your bed. Rena would stir at your side, face scrunching further into the pillow as she murmured. After returning her stuffed bear from the other side of the bed, you would walk to find him at the kitchen table. The fire lit various scenes; some filled with brushes and varnish, others with whittling tools and etched knobs. Sometimes he would be passed out against the table, shavings coating his cheek. He wanted to complete the gift as soon as possible, his wish of sharing and passing on melodies and lyrics from his life fueling his craft.
Feeling fingers brush through his hair, Boothill would awaken to your soft gaze. Wordlessly you wiped his cheek, taking his hand in yours and bringing him to bed.
Gentle singing met your ears, skilled strumming of a guitar accompanying it. One large hand shifted up and down the strings, holding, shaking, and lifting to change the tune. The other encased one of Rena’s guiding her through the song.
The sun completed its descent underneath the horizon, and the herd of deer found their way back into the forest. Hints of light hung in the sky, now joined by colors of dandelions and the deep sea. The high-pitched babbling of your daughter chimed in during certain sections, forming a heart-warming duet. With your head on Boothill’s shoulder, you hummed along.
—
The town of Iris Creek was blissful, wilted blossoms gathering on the path's edges from the growing heat. The watery flow of its namesake echoed through the grand trees, calming your mind as you approached with Boothill at your side. After your most recent hunt, a week of rest was well-deserved.
Leaning down, you let the velvety liquid rush between your fingers. Its chill permeated your flesh, a content smile on your face as Boothill toyed with your hair.
“I enjoy seeing you this way.” he whispered, staring at you lovingly.
You turned, removing your hand from the water and laying back on the grass.
“At ease?” you questioned.
He nodded, resting down beside you, hat on his chest. You brushed aside his lengthening bangs, turning the strands together before running a thumb over his cheek.
He leaned into your touch as you asked, “Do you watch me sleep then?”
Embarrassed, his face angled toward the ground.
“Gettin’ shy on me, cowboy?”
He gave no response, simply meeting your eyes with a tender silver. Your lips met his cheek, feeling the bashful warmth gracing his features.
“I like it.” you spoke softly in his ear, leaving a little bite along the lobe.
One hand came up to your waist, holding tightly as your focus shifted to his neck. The other fell into your hair, gripping after a bold lick to the revealed skin.
“Can’t help but be at your mercy, sugar.”
“Such a charmer.”
“Around someone like you, it’s only natural.”
A nibble at the edge of his jaw led his fingers to rub underneath your shirt.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, look at you. One conversation and I was hooked.”
“All it took was one challenge for you to love me?” you chuckled.
“Sugar, all it took was one glance.”
A cry reverberated down the creek as you finally kissed Boothill’s lips. It was panicked and small, drawing you almost entirely from the moment.
Pushing off of his chest, you sat up to survey your surroundings. Boothill rubbed your thigh, looking at you curiously. Just a minute later the two of you stood, spotting a tarnished cloth amongst the bank’s brush.
“Do you see that?”
He followed your gaze, walking ahead of you only to kneel down and lift the sullied fabric. His eyes widened as he beckoned you over. The crying intensified, a tiny head turning from side to side.
A baby.
Boothill was the first to move, cradling them gently in his arms. You brought a finger to their grabbing hands, brushing another one over their forehead.
“What should we do?” you wondered aloud.
“Take them in?” he uttered.
“Are we ready for that, though? We’re wanted criminals, Boothill. That’s no life for a child.”
“Then we settle down.”
“There’s still no guarantee we won’t be hunted or ambushed.”
Your hands fell back to your side, unsure eyes watching the gears turn in his mind.
“We would be their parents, together we can take anybody. Lay down our lives if necessary. We could find somewhere more isolated, maybe even further out of this state. Teach them some of our methods as they get older.”
A heavy sigh left your lungs, the weight of dozens of questions slowly dissipating. There were many details to discuss and new plans to craft. Nonetheless, your head landed on Boothill’s shoulder, two adoring gazes on your child.
~
Butter-colored rays bore through the train car’s windows, wide mountains of tan rock and green bushes waiting outside. A bundle of blankets lay in your arms, encasing your daughter in comfort and warmth.
Boothill had left for them not long after you brought her back to the hotel, returning worriedly with them in hand. They were soft and luscious, leading you to wonder who he had stolen them from. “Only the best for our little girl” – it wasn’t just a statement but a promise.
Another was sworn that evening, your daughter finally clean and sleeping in your arms. Boothill rest behind you in the bed, shielding your small family from any danger while wrapping you in care.
“What should we name her?” he asked quietly, warm breath fanning over your neck.
You pondered silently, letting your head lay on his shoulder. “How about Rena?”
He hummed, a thick finger running over her forehead. “From that play of Effie's, right?”
“I think her story was admirable. Live freely, out on your own road, never waste your time with what you can’t change.”
“Now I like the ring of that.”
“See?” you smiled, a teasing slant to it. “When I wrote to her a few days ago she added in a thought or two about the characters. She said Rena also meant melody, at least according to what she could find in Thatcher's library.”
“Then it's settled.”
His chin landed in the crook of your neck as he simply watched her be, absorbed in thoughts of the future. It wasn’t until she stirred, eyes opening and hands seeking, that you witnessed him take on a gentleness formerly reserved for only you.
His eyes began to water as she held his finger close, staring up in his direction yet unable to pin him down. When she finally did, he sat like a spooked deer, only releasing a low, happy chuckle after your own.
A cough down the car broke you from idle reminiscence. Boothill read a crinkled paper, the letter sent from the ranch you were seeking out. He had come back one evening with the result after days of asking around. Down near Iron Springs, there was someone with plenty of land – could provide decent wages and a cabin to stay in. A suitable place to settle down, with much for Rena to learn and experience.
Taking his cheek between your empty fingers, you pinched and watched him grumble. Despite your lifestyle, you could only hope that this would be a lovely and safe life for her.
—
PART II - A Luminous Star, Ephemeral
Murky skies cried chilling droplets, harshly soaking your bloodstained shirt. The evening had to be setting in, but any hope of seeing the sun finally fade had long since dissipated with the storm’s onslaught. A frayed splinter dug into your palm, the weight of the shovel increasing as the hole in the ground deepened. The dirt was malleable, easy to unearth and pile up.
Many graves were dug by your hand, and you prayed this would be the last.
Boothill wept only a few feet away, Rena’s corpse in his arms underneath a sturdy tree. Ashamed, your gaze fell back to the emptying plot.
Heavy throbbing found its home along your left side, yet still, you had to dig. The pain was deserved – a punishment that fit your crime. Crusting edges tug and bent at the surrounding skin, the quickly cauterized wounds only growing more irritated by the rainwater.
Trickles of pink traversed down your cheeks, blood washing away slowly with your tears. Leaning on the shovel, your eyes rose from the ground. A strong and steady breeze cast the rain in sheets, carving figures in the mist. Discerning who they were was useless, you could remember them anywhere.
Your father, the Weston family, and your daughter.
The mud and soil coating your fingers shifted to a deep scarlet, beads falling from their tips and hitting your boots. Trees morphed into tombstones, and you found yourself paralyzed. Mr. Whitfield’s gravelly voice rang in your ears, drowning out any natural melodies.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn a pure soul, lost too soon. Rena Blackwell was an adored child, and she will continue to be so in our thoughts, and all the way to the depths of our hearts. Her smile could dispel any darkness, and her curiosity persisted to the ends of the earth. Her fascinations lie with animals and music, her greatest friends a pony and her papa’s guitar. May she find eternal peace amidst these mountains and plains, their windy song carrying her gently to the hereafter.”
Lightning crackled across the sky, an omen of your judgment day. Boothill’s shadowed figure stand illuminated by the last ounce of daylight breaking from the clouds. Rena lay delicately in the grave, eyes closed and hands folded, his hat just beneath their union. Wordlessly he took the shovel, leaving you to kneel at her side as dirt cascaded over her corpse.
Stars found their stages in the wisp-struck night sky, their beaming light mocking. If they were tangible to Earth, you would have left plenty of rounds in them. Mourning was an act displayed to you since childhood, but it never came easily. Perhaps that was part of the point. Loss would never be simple, and humanity is far too complex to handle it so. Death was an odd thing, and despite working so intimately with the inevitable specter, it had yet to reveal every one of its forms.
Every body you would prepare never revealed its secrets. No amount of soap and water could cleanse it's invasiveness. No number of incisions and blood drained could release the agony. The fluids injected could not provide life, and clothes would only emulate. Death was permanent, and excruciating to all.
You could shoot a man without hesitation, but being along the receiving end of that cruelty, you could only resign yourself to regret. You killed bad men, yet they still had lives. Friends and family they found or created.
The grating sound of a knife on wood reached your ears, breaking into your thoughts. Boothill sat opposite to you, a neat piece of bark in his hands. Raging thunder rolled, sending a chill down your spine. Paranoia created the shattering sense that you would be reunited with Rena by dawn. Either by your own hands or someone else’s; perhaps the heavens would shoot back, sanctioned by some higher force that heard your monologue.
You watched him work, one tainted hand of yours rubbing back and forth over the dirt housing your daughter. His actions soon faded to oblivion as the song of the storm played on.
When a new bolt of lightning crashed, you became privy to her tombstone.
Rena Blackwell
Beloved star
1892 - 1892
Boothill stood, utterly dejected and tear-stained, before extending a hand down to you. His head met your shoulder once you rose, and one of your hands reached his hair. Strength was needed of you, not misery. The only comfort you received was a fact – no harm would befall you in Boothill’s arms, unless he pointed the gun at you instead.
—
Cheers ascended from under the floorboards, filling your pitch-black room with taunting joy. Your eyes remained on the ceiling, hands at your sides as you lay still – attempting to sink into the hard mattress while the hurricane to your left continued. It was the sixth night ending like this. Boothill had yet to find slumber, his journey to it only filled with suffering. He never reached out, always keeping his back to you and his face toward the pillow.
Despite the stinging urge to run your fingers through his hair, not once could you ever. Conflicting instincts wanting nothing more than to soothe him, but craving an escape.
You rubbed your eyes, throwing the sheet off of your body. The night chill creeped in, the sensation a welcome dissipation for your tenseness. A sniff echoed before a heavy sigh, and not even a moment later the bed resumed its light shaking. Stomps came in unison from the bar below, startling you to jump. With a worn exhale you sat up, feet touching the rough floor. In just a couple quick movements, you were dressed well and ready to face the ruckus below.
A saddened silver gaze finally revealed itself in the sliver of light from the doorway, but yours focused only on the ground, afraid to face him.
Instead, you would find solace in a bartender’s hands, the liquor he poured leaving a delightful blaze in your throat – easing the pain one sip at a time. It was only now you could understand why Isaiah Weston made the choices he did. Too cowardly to navigate his emotions, much less his son’s. The vulnerability intimidating, and any words gone with the wind. A weight too heavy to hold, but various fears preventing you from ever sharing it.
Getting lost in the bottle was a romantic escape, then, even if you would come to regret it. That blossomed the vicious cycle, when your method of coping only added more guilt – defeating the purpose of this night to begin with.
A hand placed itself on your shoulder, bringing your gaze from empty shot glasses to a familiarly styled head of black hair. Tears rapidly welled in your eyes, spirit feeling despondent when their hand returned to the counter.
“Jasper?” you whispered, feeble hope fueling your delusion.
They shook their head at you, “I’m afraid that’s not my name.”
“My apologies.” you nodded, downing another round as they began talking to the bartender.
He was dead, the first to meet the end of your revolver. There was no place to find him besides six feet under, at the very cemetery you first met.
Perhaps a visit to Fort Talia was what you needed. It had been four or five years since you left that fateful night with Boothill, never to look back. Although now, after everything, maybe looking back is the right thing to do. Return to, and learn from the past in order to glance forward. Walk the deck of the funeral parlor, stop by your old house. Finally speak to your mother again.
It was decided. Talk to Boothill come morning and see if he would join you.
—
Bright noon rays lit up the dusty buildings of Fort Talia, its peaceful people walking past Boothill with nods and greetings. Under any other circumstance he would respond, however words failed him now. The brim of his new hat hung low, obscuring his features and providing a bit of comfort. The less others saw of him the better.
He was fractured, too many pieces scattered across the range for him to find. Conversation would not come easy when he could hardly even handle a talk with himself. Your hotel rooms had become suffocating as of late. Silence reigning and gazes only ever in opposing directions. It was cold – a sensation Boothill had become unfamiliar with after all these years. That only served to make your icy temperament feel like a burning hell. No words exit your lips, eyes focused out of windows, on the ceiling or the floor. It was unbearable, the shunning that leaked from your figure.
What had he done to make you feel so? Was he even to blame?
Silver watched the clouds drift over the sky, a horrible longing to join them occupying his mind. A nearly impossible fate for him, now feared more than ever.
“Papa!”
A small, light voice shouted excitedly, followed by the pattering of boots on the deck.
Boothill turned expectantly, arms shifting and ready to pick up his daughter.
Instead he was made a fool.
He quickly returned to a regular stance, leaving down the nearby alleyway to lean himself against the wood. That was somebody else’s child, not his. The title he came to love most would never be used again, abandoned amidst the Iron Springs forest. “Papa” was her first word, and possibly even her last.
He recalled the tears you shared when she spoke, listening to her babble about him. Her voice was that of angels, as if he was finally worthy of speaking to the heavens.
Now he lost that angel, the most vivid star in the sky.
~
Three moss-coated tombstones lay before you, names that you first came to know at fifteen.
Isaiah, Callie, and Jasper.
Ellis must rest in Warren, then. Forever separated from his family.
A couple desert marigolds grew along the path to the cemetery, and you left one at each of their graves. Six in total gathered in your hand – one for each person you were to visit, as well as two extras for whoever you saw fit.
Boots trudged through the dry ground, avoiding stones that shaped plots or decorated the base of a tombstone. Rocks of grey and tan sat below your father’s and the one now beside it.
Upon reading the inscription, the marigolds fell to the dust.
Your mother was buried at his right, her death only one year ago.
With your forehead to the fine wood of said tombstone, your resolve finally crumbled. Any strength you wished to hold forsaken for the misery you denied. Tears flowed and fell frenzied, patiently creating a mud where your fingertips dug into the ground.
All of this loss, but why?
Why cherish anything if it would only be ripped away?
Holding your precious little girl one moment, only for her blood to splash over your face the next. Befriend a lonely boy, one who you found a kinship with, just for him to be shot by your hand.
Your mother, who despite her own mourning, still silently reached out to you, giving you what support she could muster. Your father, who robbed and killed unbeknownst to you, still provided and taught you things he knew about the world that would never be shared at the old schoolhouse.
They all had one common thread – loving you.
Burden, plague, curse. All words that could describe what a detriment you were. If they never loved you, never met or created you, perhaps their fates would be different.
What of Boothill, then?
—
Droplet-stained windows displayed a wagon of bottles stopping outside of the saloon. One of the drivers lept from its front, unlocking the back panel and pulling out two jugs. He lifted them in each hand, a big smile on his face as he cheered through the doors.
The crude and familiar scent of cigarette smoke curled through the window as you cracked it open, the stale quietude of your hotel room grating your nerves. Boothill observed you idly from the bed as you inhaled deeply, palms on the framing. The smell was lovely now, soothing almost. His gaze bore into you, seemingly trying to decipher your inner world.
"What is it?" you spoke softly, head turning toward him.
He sighed, eyes shifting to the ceiling. "I… You've just been so… cold I guess. I try not to take it personally, but I can't help it sometimes."
"Our daughter died, Boothill."
He sat up, "You think I don't know that?"
With a heavy exhale, you faced him. "Of course you do, but I just…"
"Every day begins and ends with her. Not a second goes by where that scene ain't fillin' my head."
"You assume it isn't the same for me? I watched them shoot her – her blood was on my face for hours! Do you think I can forget that?"
"I'm not askin' you to!"
"It sure sounds like it!"
"I just want some answers and for you to recognize that you're not the only one hurtin' here. Shutting me out hasn't been doing any good."
"Shutting you out? I recall you doing that to me. Any time I reach out, you leave or move away from me, and I get no words, nothing! You've got no love or respect for me anymore!"
"Don't you go there." He stood, inching closer to you with every word. "How dare you say that I feel nothing for you. If anything, you've been giving that treatment to me. Do you know how it feels to lay there cryin', wishing that your partner would just run their fingers through your hair and share that pain with you? No. Instead they go out for the night doin' who the heaven knows what, and then return at dawn like nothing happened. Like they didn't just abandon you to return reeking of alcohol or bruised and bloodied. Do you know how powerless that makes somebody?"
"I'm handlin' my own pain my way. I'm tryin' to be strong for you!"
"I don't want you to be strong for me! I want to know that my partner is here, and never leavin'! You remember what I said? I take care of you and you take care of me. That was the promise!"
"Well how are you takin' care of me exactly?"
"How am I supposed to begin if you never let me in!"
"Rich comin' from the likes of you."
"Why're you talkin' down to me? Do you think that helps?"
He paused before you, staring down into your eyes with a mixture of fire and love – an undertone of concern and fear. His hands came to hold your shoulders, and you hesitantly accepted the touch. One drifted up to the side of your neck, his thumb tracing your jaw and the edge of your cheek. The way he'd always comfort you. A guilt began setting in, tearing and biting at your throat, preventing any words from leaving you – likely for the better after your childish retorts.
"I don't wanna fight with you, darlin'. Please, just talk to me."
Wordlessly, you placed your arms around his neck, hugging him cheek to cheek. His own came to encase you when you finally whispered everything in his ear.
"I miss you… so much it hurts. I'm so sorry for all of the turmoil I've given you. That was never my intention. I just… I felt like you hated me. Blamed me for her… death."
"I never could."
"And I know that now. I didn't mean to be so cold, and I understand how you need me. I must admit I'd like to be selfish and have you do the same."
"That's not selfish."
You sniffed, "My… my mama died a year ago."
"Darlin'..."
"I didn't know." Fresh tears welled in your eyes. "She had no way to write to me. I have no idea what could have happened to her. She was all alone, lost to the world in our little house."
His hands descended to your hips, carefully stepping backward as you clung to him reluctant to move. He turned, setting you down on the bed before walking to get a blanket off of one of the chairs. The soft wool came into your hands before a weight settled behind you.
“Lay down.”
You shifted up the bed, throwing the blanket over your legs and resting your head. Boothill shuffled up next to you, his cheek to your chest. He stared up at you, eyes closing when your fingers finally ran through his hair. A sigh filled the room, mingling with gentle neighing from the street below. Silver was revealed to you once more, a low and husky whisper reaching your ears.
"We had this huge tree, back on the farm down in Redhawk. Its branches were wide and overflowing with leaves, but on a windy night you could see the stars through them. My fathers, they were always dreaming -- planning for our future. We'd sit out there and they'd talk for a while, answer any of my questions and teach me some life lessons. Eventually, one would get to strummin' on the guitar and we'd sing and cheer along – it was the most fun when some of their friends would come to visit or we'd host some guests from the road.
One was more pragmatic than the other, though they both had sharp minds. He could talk to anybody, find out anything he wanted to know. More caring and gentle, but still very strong. My other was a great gunslinger, and charismatic to a fault. He was a little rough around the edges, but I loved him anyway. They were my idols; taught me nearly everything I knew before I started goin' on the round-ups. Wasn't until I went back to our farm just a couple years later that I found it tore apart, two letters on the dining table for me. They were gone -- one captured and killed by the NHA and the other off to get revenge. He left me one of his revolvers, the same one I still use today."
Your fingers ran over his exposed cheek, noting the brimming water in his eyes matching your own.
“They raised a brilliant son.”
Your voice cracked as you finished speaking, watching him cry into you as you released your own burdens. The euphoria of budding forgiveness and the grief previously set aside catching up to you. It seemed that nearly every pain of yours was one he shared at some point or another, and it only emphasized the resolution of your argument.
You needed each other now more than ever.
—
“Are my eyes playin’ tricks on me?”
“Well I don’t believe it either.”
A man shook hands strongly with Boothill, hitting his other down on his shoulder. He had a confident glint in his hazel gaze, a boisterous air around him.
“How’ve you been, you beautiful piece of scrap?” he chuckled.
“Times have certainly been better.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, friend.” was his somber reply.
You extended your hand, feeling a calloused one against your palm.
“I see you’re his partner in crime, undertaker.”
“You got one of your own yet?” you asked, trying to keep the atmosphere light.
“Of course! You’re more than welcome to come by tonight and meet her, our kids as well! We’ve got two of them raisin’ hell all over the place.”
“Thank you, but-”
“We’ll be there.” Boothill interrupted, a sharp smile contrasting with his sullen eyes.
“I’m happy to hear that!” Lee beamed, “Some supper'll be ready for you.”
His hand hit your elbow playfully before he focused on Boothill.
“What liquor do you like now, ‘Hill?”
~
Lee’s porch was well-lit, a small garden out front with bright flowers and a structure of twigs resting alongside the stairs. It was likely built by his children, or whoever got distracted while watering and left puddles on the steps. A light knock reverberated through the door, summoning a figure that stood as tall as the knob to open it.
“Hello!”
Quick steps came from behind them, before the door was tugged open further.
“Come in, please!”
You were the first to cross the threshold, a large fireplace and a set table coming into view. Chairs were gathered immediately to your left, some books and a half-built pyramid of empty cans decorating the scene. Blankets were gathered against the wall, dark brown eyes meeting yours as a shaggy dog rose from its bed.
Lee carried a pot to the table, a white cloth protecting his hands from the hot handles. He uttered warnings of the heat to his kids, the same ones who greeted you at the door. Another figure, just slightly taller than him, followed behind with a pitcher of water in one hand and a bottle of bourbon in the other.
While they continued preparing the food and adjusting the ambience, one child tugged on the ends of Boothill’s coat. The other peppered him with questions, looking excitedly at his gun and even more so at the chamber kept in his arm. A small smile grew on his face at their attention before they returned to Lee, wanting to know stories about his “heroic” friend. He followed them to the table, pouring two cups of water from the pitcher and handing it to them. Joyfully, they thanked him and resumed their conversation with Lee.
Seeing what he had raised mixed feelings. You were happy that he had found somebody of his own, that they seemed to love each other and work well together. That joy still couldn’t bury the tinge of envy sinking in, created from how it hurt to be reminded of what your family could have been had Rena simply been allowed to grow.
Scratching behind one of the dog’s ears, a tap landed on your shoulder and grey fingers came into view. They held a glass out to you, filled with clear liquid.
“For you, darlin’.”
The undertone of his words were not lost on you – avoid drinking tonight. Let me take care of you.
“Would you like some stew?”
The welcoming voice of Evelyn sounded from the dining table, a bowl and ladle in her hands. You accepted her offer, watching her gold wedding band glint in the light as you approached her. Their dog followed just behind, its nose occasionally bumping into the back of your leg.
The stew was warm in your hands, making a soft thud against the counter as you sat beside Boothill. A savory broth coated your tongue, the heat of a home-cooked meal comforting amidst the chilly desert night. Conversation flowed easily between all of you, as if you were playing back at the saloon years ago. It wasn’t until there were scraps in bowls and empty glasses covering the table that it took a more serious turn.
Evelyn dismissed their children, Emmett and Mable, from the table. Begrudgingly they went to the living area, playing with the dog and continuing to build their pyramid.
"What happened, 'Hill?" Lee questioned lowly.
You placed your hand along the back of Boothill's neck, meeting his somber gaze. “Let’s talk about it.”
He sighed, his eyes leaving yours and looking at the couple on the opposite side of the table. "Just eight or nine months ago we found a baby up in Iris Creek. We took her in as our own, raising her at that ranch I was tellin’ you about in Iron Springs.” He paused a moment, and you brushed your thumb against his nape, your focus remaining on the wood floor. “About… About three weeks ago the NHA came knockin'. They killed her right in front of them." His gaze turned to you momentarily. "I arrived shortly after."
"I'm so incredibly sorry to hear that." Evelyn spoke gently, placing her hands over one of yours and Boothill's. "I won't pretend to know that pain, but we're here if you need anything."
Lee reciprocated her action, a grit in his voice that was vastly different from hers. "Those cruel bastards will get their judgment day." He exhaled after a glance from his wife, solemnly looking at you, then at Boothill. "She's right, though. A room, food, company, whatever you need. There'll always be a warm fire ready here for you."
—
Bidding farewell to the McHale’s was difficult. They wanted nothing more than to continue catching up, but the night was passing and grogginess collectively set in. Emmett and Mable shouted their goodbyes from the porch, accompanied by the waves of Evelyn and Lee. You returned their gestures, slowly riding off from their home. Boothill’s gaze turned to the stars after saying his own goodbyes, watching the sky as he shifted back and forth. There was much to ponder after that visit, especially for him. The two of you hadn’t talked much in the past few hours, occupied by your own worlds and memories of the past.
Life had been fulfilling thus far, though one world-altering regret weighed heavily on that idea. A certain finality came with it, a need for eventual acceptance lest you meet that finality yourself. In time you would arrive there, but for now it was best to let the pain run its course – feel it and share in it. Boothill had no expectation of you than to simply be there for him as he is for you. Rena had two parents, and lived the best, most beautiful life you could provide for her.
There was one thing you had learned about death -- all that it claimed were eternally benevolent, either in life or the hereafter. If your parents, or Boothill's fathers were here right now, made of flesh and blood, they would want the best for you. For you to live another day and find your place in this wide and bittersweet world. They strived the same as you, to give their child the life they deserved. Perhaps Jasper's notions in the face of death's door were correct. Family would reunite, free of burdens and earthly matters. Spirits would live on in bliss, their memory preserved by each generation.
When you picture all that you've lost, you see a beautiful ranch -- just like the one you worked in Iron Springs. There would be a grand tree, housing Boothill's fathers and little Rena giggling and tugging on one's hair just like she would with you. Your parents would exit a cabin with various drinks and a bowl of apples, stopping to share one with a horse on their way to the meeting spot. Maybe even the Weston's were there, Isaiah smiling from a rocking chair on the porch. Callie would be happy, free of sickly features and whistling a tune. Ellis, cleaning his guns right beside his father. And Jasper would walk from the door, giving each of them a hug before running over to your parents and helping them carry their goods.
If the day ever came, when you would face that reaper with your boots on, that was the life you craved to return to. One where you could drink, laugh, and settle things with your large family -- everyone you ever held dear gathered 'round to celebrate the day. You would wait for Boothill, the inevitable fact being that he would outlive you. It was an idea accepted long ago. Confronting reality was necessary for the life you lead.
Yet that was the other thing about death -- love surpasses it. No matter what kind that love was, it would dance across the edge into the realm of departure. While it may alter itself, those living would still hold its fondness.
If the day ever came that Boothill joined you, either as he is now or as Jesse Blackwell, you would greet him with arms wide open. That very same love remaining with the dead, living in their own peaceful way at your little ranch.
"What's on your mind, darlin'?" he whispered, gazing at you now, instead of the night sky.
"You, and our dreams." you replied with a small smile.
“How romantic of you.” he chuckled, a contrasting and heavy look in his eyes.
Silence rode along between you for a moment until you spoke up, “Where do we go from here?”
He exhaled, a defeated yet promising sound. “Let’s just start with our hotel room. Take it one day at a time from there.”
#coff writes for hsr 🍾#i've only seen like four of the things that have been shared and talked about the most from his leaks#mostly since i don't want to seek them out#since i think it'll be even more impactful when it's officially shared in the story#but still#i'm looking forward to it :)#and with the little bit i've seen so far#i wanted to continue his and the reader's story in this au#and the challenges that come with what they face#especially with the reader being a former undertaker#also the title is from seed of memory by terry reid if you're curious :)#and if you know where the title for part 1 is from here's some extra love 🫶 one of my favorite games of all time and an inspo for this au#anyway tag time!#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr boothill#hsr x reader#hsr boothill x reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail boothill#honkai star rail boothill x reader#hsr fanfic#hsr au
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“Every life changes the universe. Whether or not that life is yours.”
#reading#books read in 2024#bookblr#books#book photography#book blog#bibliophile#books reading#books and reading#book review#i’m waiting for you and other stories#scifi#sci fi#sci fi short stories#short stories#short story collection#kim bo-young#korean#korean scifi#existentialism#who are you#love#timelessness#waiting for him#waiting for her#review#four stars#this was incredibly well thought out#thought provoking#september reads
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All Touhou characters (Up to TH18)
[06/04/23]
#touhou#touhou project#highly responsive to prayers#story of eastern wonderland#phantasmagoria of dim. dream#lotus land story#mystic square#embodiment of scarlet devil#perfect cherry blossom#imperishable night#phantasmagoria of flower view#mountain of faith#subterranean animism#undefined fantastic object#ten desires#double dealing character#legacy of lunatic kingdom#hidden star in four seasons#wily beast and weakest creature#unconnected marketeers#pixel art#pixel#pixelart
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One HSR Character a Day Extra 4 (Day 55): Moze
#honkai star rail#moze#hsr edits#revsdailyhsr#just when you thought we couldnt get anyone with more edge than Blade.. this man shows up. like i honestly cant get over how#great Ben sounds.. it's a shame he didn't get to speak as much as the other new characters in the story which i guess fits with#his sneaky shadow guard role yeah..or the fact that he's somehow only a four star.. but whenever we do get to hear that#deep voice of his... OOOHH. gives me chills. definitely need to keep pulling for more eidolons so he's decent in fights.
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DC Plot Bunnies on my Brain
Time-traveling Kon talks to his younger self about Tana Moon. I’ve been exploring the 90’s Superboy corner of fandom lately, and boy do those guys have some thoughts about Tana Moon. Muy negative.
I think an adult Kon who had a chance to talk to his younger self might also be able to express some criticism of Tana, but he would not be harsh about it. I think he would still view his younger self as having a lot of agency, and he would still remember how much he loved her.
So how do you explain to your younger self that the current “love of their life” isn’t actually good for them? Very veeerry gently.
Kon bed-hopping fic. I actually started this one over a year ago and have snippets of it on my hard drive. Basically, after the Gemworld and multiversal hopping, Kon has a paranoia about being alone, and he doesn’t have a place to stay. (I wrote this before reading about the Kents remembering him after all, so this is written with the assumption that he has nowhere to go.)
So Young Justice takes turns housing him. And then the sleepovers end up being a pretty effective way of catching up with old friends like the core four and getting to know the new ones like Amy, Naomi, and Jinny.
Kon/Lophi slow-burn. In my current Kon fic, I imply that if YJ had showed up later than they had, Kon would have felt duty-bound to stay on the Gemworld to raise baby Martha. I could write a story exploring that as well as his and Lophi’s relationship. However, core four fuzzies would still be involved, bc the team would 100% find a way to visit Kon on the regular if he were stuck in another dimension.
Kon/Amy slow-burn. Set after the YJ multiverse hopping storyline. With no way to return to the Gemworld, Kon and Amy are left to mourn it together. This leads to bonding. Amy does, however, have some experience with going between worlds and have some coping mechanisms to offer Kon. In turn, he’s able to make her feel more at home with the team.
Amy Winston character exploration via Young Justice. There is a LOT to explore. For one thing, Amethyst was never a very character-driven comic, so there’s a lot of scenarios where I have no clue what Amy would do. So I gotta start writing to find out.
In her own 80’s title, Amy can go back and forth between being confidently heroic and remembering that she’s a scared kid. Part of that was the physical transformation she would go through. Turning into a physically 20-something a la Shazam made her feel more confident. But she doesn’t have that trait in YJ continuity.
So maybe her magic is the key? In the 80’s series, Amy’s magic was very strong on the Gemworld, but would fade to nothing when she crossed over to Earth.
So what if in this Wonder Comics YJ ‘verse, her magic is fading away slowly while she’s stuck on Earth and that gradually eats at her confidence? What if she does bond with the core four, but then becomes scared to tell them that the thing that (in her mind) makes her a superhero is fading away?
Post-Mini Series Amethyst story. I have a very detailed write-up of this in my drafts. I was very frustrated with Amy being turned into, like, a Gemworld deity thing at the end of her OG series. But I write out a plot taking place after it that would allow me to really come to terms with it and have fun with where the characters are at that point. Might post the outline later. Basically makes Amy, Young Princess Emerald, and Donal (Topaz and Turquoise’s son) all co-protagonists.
Tim/Cassie detective competition. In a (fairly recent?) Wonder Woman storyline, Cassie referred to herself as a detective, and asked for time to investigate the murder of Hypolyta. What if that had consequences? What if there is some kind of, idk, Teen Detective Competition and maybe Donna enters Cassie’s into it bc she thinks she’d be into it?
Of course, Tim has entered but only because he sees it as chance to get close to someone else he’s actually investigating. But as soon as he sees that Cassie is one of the entrants things get… genuinely competitive for both of them. And then the trash-talking somehow turns into flirting when neither of them were paying attention?
Tim/Cassie preboot Identity Exploration. Cassie is reveling in having Kon and Bart back from the dead. She and Kon are “just friends” now, and tho a lil’ awkward, it’s still good. But a few passing comments between the three of them lead Cassie to realize that some of the things she knows about Tim’s civilian identity are contradictory.
She begins to obsess a bit. After all, Tim was her main support through OYL and other hells, so shouldn’t she know him better than anyone?
Meanwhile, she is utterly failing to make a go of her “Drusila” identity. When Tim hears about that, he offers to help. And as Tim teaches Cassie how to be someone else, he ends up revealing things about himself that clarify some of those contradictions that stumped her earlier.
Tim/Greta set during 90's YJ. Steph gets frustrated with Tim's lecturing and breaks up with him. Secret sees this as an opportunity, and shoots her shot. Tim has had an insane day and decides "ok, why not?" Queue their relationship subtly changing events throughout the YJ and Robin series.
#am I likely to start any of these soon?#No.#My plate is full with my Kon story and a teeny niggling desire to continue Stars Unearth Your Fires#but if I have to suffer these in my brain now so do the rest of you#hehe#cour four#young just us#tim drake#cassie sandsmark#kon el#conner kent#superboy#red robin#wonder girl#dc plot bunnies#dc fanfic#amy winston#greta hayes#gidgeblog
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I went into Ruth expecting a dreary read. How could a Victorian "fallen woman" story be anything other than dark and depressing? So I was shocked right from the beginning to find a sweet, gentle, romantic story. The dressmaker's apprentice who sits in the coldest, darkest part of the workroom because that's where there's a panel painted with flowers that remind her of her country home? How could I not adopt her as a favorite character? Ruth's innocent, romantic outlook on life gave us some beautiful descriptions of the scenery of both city and countryside, and my imagination went on overdrive to create very vivid images of the story. Even the love story, which we know is going to go very wrong, starts out sweet, with a kind, charming love interest who only shows flashes of just how wrong his character is going to go.
Even after Ruth's fall, the story is so gentle, putting Ruth among kind people who are willing to risk and sacrifice a lot to help her. And then the story gets almost too gentle--after some initial struggles with depression, Ruth resolves to bear her troubles patiently and work toward virtue, and her sweet, too-innocent character gets flattened out into someone who's just Good. Life just goes on, with things generally going well, and every potential turn toward drama results in someone deciding to be reasonable, which can make the story drag.
But, in a story like this, the lack of drama becomes the plot twist! It is refreshing to see characters who don't always jump to the worst conclusion or take the worst action, who pause and consider the whole story and act like decent human beings.
And in the places when the drama does kick in, it's good drama. Painful drama. It's also (especially in the last section of the story) melodrama. There were sections of the book where I was rolling my eyes at the cookie-cutter Victorian path the story was taking--but then there'd be one line or one moment that would just stab me in the chest because of how beautifully specific it was to this story. Just enough to elevate it from something bland to something unique and fascinating.
I often had the thought that this book could be about a third of its length without losing anything--yet it should also be just as long as it was. If the story cut all its repetitive musings about Ruth's regret, and used that space to develop the side characters and and show the plot instead of telling us about it, it would be a much deeper story. I found myself wishing Gaskell had reworked this one later in her career--the way that North and South was a more skillful reworking of the issues explored in Mary Barton. In a way, she sort of did in Wives and Daughters, with the story of Molly the quiet innocent getting tangled up in the intrigues surrounding her headstrong, flirtatious stepsister Cynthia serving as a more layered, personality-flipped version of the story where headstrong, sheltered Jemima gets tangled in the story of quiet, sweet Ruth and her past romantic intrigues. (The doctor at the end of the story also feels like a proto-Mr. Gibson).
Yet I'm still fascinated by the themes specific to this story. Contrary to expectation, this "fallen woman" story isn't about sex, or gender, or how unfairly women are treated (though it does touch on that in the end). It's about sin. It's not questioning why Ruth's behavior is considered a sin or looking to dismantle the society saying that it's a sin. It comes from the Christian perspective of saying that sin is real and harms people--so how are we going to deal with that?
The story shows lots of people struggling with temptation, failing, and dealing with the consequences (or harming others with the consequences). Sin is always a case of either not caring enough to do the more difficult, good thing, or a case of "the ends justify the means", where people rationalize their bad behavior as something necessary in this specific case. It always leads to harm, but some people--and some sins--suffer greater consequences in the eyes of the world, whether or not they deserve it. I wish the story had developed and resolved this theme better in places, but the raw material there is fascinating food for thought.
This book is Gaskell at her preachiest, but also Gaskell at her kindest. It explores deep, difficult issues in a very loving way. As a story, there are ways it could be better, but I'm very glad I read it. Perhaps I'm making a point to be kinder to it because I know it's the type of story that today's readers tend to judge harshly. But amid my issues with the story, there are some lovely images, some great messages, and some wonderful characters that going to be living in my heart for a long time.
#elizabeth gaskell#ruth#(i should find out if there's a subtitle for this book because it'd be nice to have a less-generic tag for it)#this should have been like four separate posts#but i spent long enough rambling through this so i'm leaving it as is#as a book i'd say it just barely makes four stars#it's a story that i like better when i'm not reading#because there is a lot of food for thought#the story itself has a lot of great points when you're not trudging through the latest chapter of 'an entire year passed'#the imagination can distill it into the best parts and there's a lot that's vivid#also the pro-life thing!#how did i forget that?#the moment that mr. benson said 'you're confusing the sin with the consequences' i'm like 'slap that on a pro-life sticker!#the fact that the baby is always treated as a good!#that alone is worth the price of admission
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I plop down at my computer screen with a fresh mug of tea and say enthusiastically, “I’m going to get so much work done on my WIP!” I open said WIP and begin adding a few notes before recalling the SVSSS prompt I thought up the night before.
“Oh, I’ll just jot a short paragraph for that real quick in my MXTX folder. Won’t take, but a second!!” I hum quietly to myself as I open a new document and start writing. The cats watch on in judgmental silence.
I type a quick paragraph, but I have more ideas swirling around my head. I should write them down right now, I think, or I’ll forget them and they’ll be lost to the wasteland of time which would be sad.
It won’t take long, I reassure myself.
So I type another, and another.
Soon, a beautiful plot summary in unraveling before my eyes and I am three pages deep in single spaced, 12 Times New Roman font. I have ten tabs open for various research purposes. I have drunk my cup of tea, made another, and drunk that too.
Startlingly, my alarm goes off. I glance at the clock.
It is time for bed. It has been three hours.
#and that would be the story of how I have 70+ mxtx fanfic plots written in the short span of four months and just about nothing else#we don’t talk about the exact number of detailed fanfic plots I’ve produced since discovering tgcf#we only beat around bushels of numbers#I’m not kidding when I say mxtx ruined my life#mxtx fandom#mxtx novels#mxtx#mxtx characters#mxtx fanfic#mxtx hell#mxtx svsss#svsss au#svsss#svsss fanfiction#svsss fic#scumbag system#svsss shitpost#star trek#wip#current wip#fanfics#fanfiction#scum villain#scum villain self saving system#scum villain's self saving system#scum villans self saving system#scum villian self saving system#scumbag self saving system#scumbag villain#fanfic problems
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HDN-001 - BOPPER MAN Initially operating within an indoor trampoline park, Bopper Man, based off the bygone Socker Bopper craze of the nineties, once taught close-quarters boxing lessons before siding with Dr. Wily as part of his latest scheme. His compact and rubbery exterior makes for hard-hitting punches, and he is close friends with Bounce Man. Good Point: Resilient Bad Point: Cumbersome Likes: Friendly spars Dislikes: Standing idle for too long
I wanted a good excuse to practice the Classic Mega Man artstyle again, and I thought I ought to keep up with the new line of robot master OCs I had going... ladies and gentlemen, behold the first number of my latest faux Mega Man project Mega Man Odd Chance— Bopper Man! 💜💛✨
#⭐ Star's Art ⭐#Mega Man Odd Chance#Mega Man#Megaman#Rockman#Bopper Man#HDN-001#Hot Dice Numbers#Mega Man OC#Robot Master OC#Sprite Art#Pixel Art#Medibang Paint Pro#Aseprite#Coolness#''Here comes the rebound!''#I think I'm finally at a point where I can say I've just about perfected the Mega Man style#And it only took... what... eleven-ish years of practice?#To think there was once a time I was told I couldn't draw in the style. Just look at me now!#Bopper Man was plenty fun to design. I found that the colors I chose for him really make his design pop#Initially I was going to post just his art though I thought it would be more fun if I drew up a sprite for him too!#I'm still working on some story details for Odd Chance though I can safely say I've decided on six robot masters#You've seen two so far... now I work on getting the other four drawn!
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The vibe, as they say
Is in shambles
#miitomo#kaerutomo#lunar games#lunar series#lunar silver star story complete#ghaleon#lunar dyne#laike#mel de alkirk#lemia ausa#the four heroes
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It absolutely breaks my heart to consider it but it really does feel like TBB is working toward an end of the story of the clones in general. They’re one of my very favorite aspects of the SW world and I’ve not wanted to think this could be the end of clone-focused canon, but I’m not sure there will be much left to say about them after the Tantiss mission is pulled off.
And anyway they deserve peace finally, to exit the story. We know where Rex eventually ends up, and maybe Echo will take over leading a cell of the rebellion in his place (possibly leading to Echo Base being named after him). But any of them who want to stop fighting and actually have a life after this should. Those three teen clones have already found a home on Pabu and maybe a little community of clone vets could be started there.
#the bad batch#the clone wars#clone troopers#arc trooper echo#captain rex#meta#star wars#of course they have a lot to wrap up in four eps if this is the case#Lucasfilm is already hiring animators for the next project with this team#and maybe I’m wrong and that will be directly connected to this story somehow
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Late sunday doodles
#yeah i wasn't lying when i said there'd be more of these#yall there are four character slots i could go crazy with this#RAmarl is not great in upper difficulties according to the internet (TM) which means i *will* have another character eventually#it also said its best not to run RAmarl if another person in your party is running a force but I'm opting to ignore that for now#the allure of a character that does ~pretty okay~ in all areas is too appealing#re-uploaded to remove the rambles of a very bitter duck#i woke up this morning and didn't feel good about the story i shared so i took it down#two negative posts back to back is no bueno for the soul#may retell later when it's less fresh on the brain#phantasy star online
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Rosaria Champagne, “Law of the (Nameless) Father: Mary Shelley’s Mathilda and the Incest Taboo” // Star Trek: Deep Space 9, 2x22 “The Wire”
#incest tw#RENT LOWERING GUNSHOT POST#''I never met anyone who relished a good interrogation as much as you did.''#and then we proceed to hear a story about how Garak preferred to stare at someone for four hours straight rather than interrogate them#and THEN we proceed to watch him try to interrogate someone and not be able to do it even when he literally doesn't even have to doanything#because the anti-changeling machine basically does it for him and he still can't even watch it happen#hm. hmmmmmmmmmm#''We're both getting sentimental in our old age.''#Fathers love to tell you you enjoyed it actually. and also you're basically a fellow adult really.#it's their favorite thing in the whole world#Starky's Original Posts#Star Trek: Deep Space 9#watch these tags look stupid after I watch Broken Link or something. whatever I'm basking in them for now.#not sorry for posting this due to the fact that I wanted to do so. however I am sorry you had to see it.#god I looked up TDIC script for this and I cannot do it anymore#NO NEED TO PRETEND. YOU'RE FOND OF MILA. AREN'T YOU? YOU DON'T WANT HER HURT DO YOU?#SICKO TELEVISION SHOW I CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL OF CARDASSIA TO GET EXPLODED BY ONE TRILLION BOMBS#GOODBYE
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I like to dunk on the (watsonian) Jedi Council for giving Anakin a padawan so soon after he was knighted like everybody else but listen. I had to do some ~story math~ for a fic and Anakin probably isn't that far outside of the norm?
Like. He's very young for a knight, no doubt, and Ahsoka is pretty old for an initiate. Anakin is 19 and Ahsoka is 14 when they're assigned to one another.
HOWEVER - going off the idea that most apprenticeships are a decade or so and most initiates become padawans between the ages of 11 and 13:
Dooku would have only been 20 or so when he took on his first padawan. Depending on whether you go with Legends or current canon, it was either Rael or Qui-Gon. In Legends Dooku is only a decade older than Qui-Gon Jin (his first padawan who he takes on at the age of 10), while in current canon they're 20 years apart. However, in canon Qui-Gon is his second apprentice. Rael's apprenticeship would have taken a decade, putting Dooku at 20ish when he takes Rael on.
Quinlan Vos and Aayla Secura are only 9 years apart. Also based off the dates given on the wiki for Legends, but Quinlan finds Aayla during his own apprenticeship, and later takes her on. Even if Aayla had been 13 or 14 when she became a padawan, Quinlan still would have been 22 or 23.
Qui-Gon is interesting for a couple reasons: Feemor and Xanatos aren't canon, and Qui-Gon is 12 years older in Legends. So, in canon, Qui-Gon was about 35 when he took on Obi-Wan, his first apprentice. In Legends, though, Qui-Gon is 48 when he takes on Obi-Wan after 9 years without a padawan. Xanatos, his second, left the Order at 16, so we can assume that Qui-Gon trained him for 5 or 6 years, putting him at 33 when they start. Assuming that Feemor's apprenticeship took a decade, Qui-Gon would have been about 23 when he took on his first padawan.
Depending on how old Depa Billaba is and how many padawans Mace trained he was probably in his early 20s when he chose an an apprentice. Mace is 53 during Order 66, and he had to have taken Depa on at least 24 years ago (Depa has been on the Council for 14 years at the time of Order 66, assuming that her apprenticeship was 10 years. The number is probably closer to 28, given that Depa was a knight for a while before she was on the council) which puts Mace somewhere between 25 and 29. In Legends, though, Mace has had several padawans, which honestly doesn't make any sense on the timeline. So Mace was probably 25 or so, the same age as Obi-Wan when he took on Anakin.
Anyways, what I'm getting at is that Anakin isn't that much younger than some of the other Jedi who were knighted young. Dooku was almost certainly 20 when he took on a padawan, and Quinlan easily could have only been 20 or 21. Anakin and Ahsoka are both on the extreme end of their respective roles, but there would have been precedent for a brand new young knight being given a padawan right off the bat.
#this is all based off the wiki and honestly uses canon and legends somewhat interchangably so it's not the most accurate thing in the world#this actually started because I was writing something about Depa and Caleb and then it kind of spiraled from there#also mace theoretically could have been younger if depa was his second padawan (or a little older than I thought)#apparently mace windu had four (4) padawans so you know what it could be true#seriously where did this man find the time?#star wars#star wars story math#dooku#qui gon jinn#mace windu#quinlan vos#star wars legends#star wars the clone wars
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